#maybe he needs medicine maybe this feeling will never leave who is to say

[butchmuppet]

I hate feeling so lonely I hate it I hate it I hate it. There's no reason to but when I'm on my period I feel like a locked away teenage girl again and it pierces me through. I don't know how to keep asking for help. It feels better to deny myself just to suffer.

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Quick Notes:

This is when both reader/you and Alastor are both alive. (... we'll probably end up in hell later on btw so stay tuned...)

Reader is an artist/painter.

Part 3:

Shutting the door to your house, you slide down to the floor, back against the door. Your hands come up to your chest, clutching the fabric of your shirt, heart racing.

Looking around the room, you felt suffocated. Every inch of the wall had some reminder of your husband, paintings, photographs, newspaper clippings of every accomplishment and accolade of his. It made you want to tear your hair out.

A silent scream leaves your throat as tears run down your face. Silent crying was something you've mastered after all these years..

But never have you cried and broken down like this, with something giving you a glimmer of hope. That something was Alastor, he made you feel appreciated, you felt free when you were with him, like all your worries were washed away and you were helplessly in love.

With the realization that you were in love, your hands fell to the ground with a quiet thud. For too long had you suffered the control, the physical and mental abuse at the hands of your husband and your family that only saw you as a pawn- a means to an end for them.

The tears dried up as you sat there silently for hours till the sun rose, feeling like an empty husk of a human. It took you a long time before you could collect yourself.

Though you felt so weak, you had to go out and do some errands. Having to keep up the image of perfect housewife, after all.

With a vacant and empty look in your eyes, you left the house, barely presentable.

You didn't even know what you were going out for, but you'd find something, anything.

During your walk around town, looking for something to buy so you wouldn't go home empty-handed, an odd feeling and urge came over you to take a route home that you've never taken before.

The way you took this time was full of twists and turns, leading to many shady backstreets and alleyways.

One sign reading "Arabella's Apothecary" caught your eye, prompting you to enter.

The door opens with a chime, the shopkeeper giving you a smug smile, "Welcome in dear, how can I help ya this fine morn'?" You nervously tell her that you were just looking around.

The shopkeeper, who you found out was indeed Arabella, like the sign outside indicated, "You know, people don't just come in here for nothin'... Hun, I think we both know you're looking for a key to freedom."

Arabella's words shook you to your core, "A... key? T-to freedom?" You laugh nervously, wondering if this woman was a witch. But then it came to you, maybe you did need... something.

She laughed at your face, "Bwahaha, I can read you like an open book! I'm no witch, I just deal in... specialty medicines, you might say."

After a short conversation with Arabella, you find yourself in possession of some arsenic. This little powder was your freedom, and you thank your lucky stars that fate guided to this back alley hidden apothecary shop.

During the week of your husband's absence, you didn't visit Mimzy's bar at all, actually. You were planning your husband's demise. You had to be methodical, careful, every single minute detail needed to have a plan and a backup plan- including your escape and how you would remove yourself from suspicion of being involved in your husband's death.

When your husband opened the door, announcing his return, you felt a pit form in your stomach. The bile rose in the back of your throat at the thought of freedom being so close and yet so far.

According to your plan, your husband would be dead in the next couple of weeks. It would be hell to not visit Mimzy's bar in hopes of seeing Alastor again, but if everything went according to plan, you'd be free of your shackles. So two weeks, give or take a few days, was nothing compared to the near decade of pain you've had to endure.

There were a few close calls during this time, but your husband was just diagnosed with food poisoning each time until he was found dead at his desk at the office he worked at.

You had slowly poisoned him slowly and consistently enough to evade suspicion. You knew this much when the police came knocking on your door informing you that your husband was found dead. The gates holding back the flood were unlocked, and you crumpled to the floor crying. The police tried to console you, but little did they know that you secretly crying from being overjoyed at the news.

At the funeral, your family and in-laws looked at you with distaste and all they did was tell you to get out of their faces, telling you what a disappointment you were for failing as a wife to keep your husband happy and healthy.

That was all you needed to hear. You turned away from them and left town, not bothering to stop by your home. You left only with the clothes on your body, making your way to Mimzy's bar. If anyone was able to help you, it would be Mimzy, your only true friend in the world.

You get to Mimzy's bar a bit too early, sometime in the evening, as usually the bar only opens late at night. So Mimzy was prepared to ward off any suspicious people that could get the bar/speakeasy in trouble, but she rushed up to you immediately, fawning over you, seeing you in all-black funeral attire with puffy eyes, " (Y/N)! Darlin'!! What happened to you??"

Mimzy ushers you into her office, gives you a warm cup of tea and a blanket as she barrages you with more questions. You smile weakly at her and make her promise not to tell a soul, and she pinky promised that she would take your secrets to the grave. And she kindly offered for you to stay with her as long as you needed.

You took Mimzy up on her offer, but you offered to help out at the bar for as long as you did. It was the only way you would accept her generosity.

-> Part 4

[kazuhaiku]

a day to remember

summary: sakura falls sick and you deem it your duty to take care of him until he feels better.

warnings: gn!reader, fluff, flustered sakura, kind of inspired by that chapter when sakura was sick but with a little twist :3

notes: sakura :(( i love him sm

sakura doesn’t remember the reason he got sick.

maybe it was because of the rain last night when he had to hurriedly take you home as it was raining cats and dogs, or maybe it was because he stayed up all night trying to figure out places to go with you.

a sneeze escapes from sakura, making him shudder. he grabs a tissue from the table and blows his nose before cuddling himself further into his futon. his place isn’t exactly the kind of place a person would want to live in, let alone a sick person.

“god,” sakura groans hating how he can’t exactly breathe out of his nose. “this is the worst.” he closes his eyes, attempting to get some sleep.

however, that is soon disturbed when someone knocks on his front door. sakura groans, mentally cursing whoever is outside for disturbing his rest. he slowly gets up, trying to prevent a headache from coming.

“what do you want-” sakura stops when he sees you standing in front of him, holding a plastic bag which seems to be filled with medicine and food. “y/n? wh-what are you doing here?”

“you never replied to my messages,” you reply with a small pout. “so i asked suo if he’s seen you today and he said that you’re sick.” you sigh, seeing his red nose. “why didn’t you tell me?”

sakura blinks. “um, it’s not important…”

“what do you mean ‘not important’? you’re my boyfriend, of course you’re important!” you exclaim, pushing past sakura to let yourself in. “wha- this place looks…”

“shut up!” sakura grits his teeth. “why are you here?”

“i’m here to take care of you,” you say and push sakura down back onto his futon. “sit down. i’ll go prepare some congee for you, okay?”

“h-huh?!” sakura’s face turns red. “i-i can take care of myself. you can leave! i don’t want you to get sick.” he says as he is about to stand up.

“no.” you stubbornly say, crossing your arms. sakura slowly sits back down. “you lay down while i prepare the congee. don’t you dare stand up.”

sakura’s eyes widen and nods. he watches you move around his kitchen (if you can call it one). he suddenly remembers the time when you went out shopping with him, buying him things to decorate his apartment with. since sakura is too stubborn to move out of his current apartment, you decide on buying stuff such as curtains, pots, pans, and even calling a guy to fix his stove.

to be perfectly honest, sakura doesn’t understand why you will do all this for. besides, he comes over to your house almost every other day, so why does his house need any furnishing?

as soon as you finish making the congee, you walk over to sakura, who immediately hides under the futon, suddenly feeling embarrassed that he was watching you.

“what are you doing?” you ask, confused as to why he’s suddenly hiding. “here, come on. eat.” you pick a spoonful of congee up, waiting for sakura to reappear.

when he does reappear and sees you waiting for him, he backs away almost immediately. “wh-what are you doing?!”

“feeding you..?” you reply. “come on, open up.” you nudge his lips with the spoon.

he stares at you for a few seconds before opening his mouth up slightly. the taste of congee fills his mouth, sending a warm feeling throughout his whole body. “i can eat by myself, you know?” sakura says, mouth full of congee.

“i know, but i love spoiling you.” you say with a big smile on your face. 

sakura can’t help but blush seeing you smiling.

he really can’t fight against you, can’t he.

[llamagoddessofficial]

How would your Sanses act when they are getting sick and MC takes care of them?

AWW we've done so many scenarios about the boys looking after a sick Mc. It's long past due their turn to be sick!

Sans: When he's sick, he just absolutely koalas onto you. He loses all his inhibitions and sticks to you like glue. It doesn't matter what he's doing, how aware he is, how weak or sick he feels, he will follow you to the ends of the earth to cuddle you. Cooking? He's hugging you from behind the whole time you cook. Doing laundry? He's sitting beside you, snoozing with his head on your shoulder. At first, you might try to encourage him to lay down and go to sleep before you try to sneak off and do something, but as soon as you get there he appears like a half-asleep ghost to hold onto you. There's no escape. Even Papyrus can't save you.

If anything, it's a nice opportunity to wind down. You have to - you have no choice. It's also very cute when Sans is woozy and snuggly.

Red: For very obvious reasons, Red does not like being sick. He's a macho man!! He doesn't need babying!! Red frequently hides/downplays how unwell he feels, and the more sick he gets the more snappish and foul-tempered he becomes. He won't admit he's ill until he's absolutely wrecked. Even when he's figuratively on death's door, he's extremely combative and aggressive, he refuses pretty much all help. Being sick means being weak, and he cannot be weak.

... Unless it's you. When you're around, he's a big delirious flirty idiot, and he'll do whatever you say. If his brother so much as gently suggests he should have some water, Red bristles and starts a fight. But when you tell him to lay the fuck down and take his medicine like a big boy... well, who is he to argue with a pretty face?

"hey. humans can't get monster sicknesses, right? maybe you should give me a kiss. right here. might make me heal faster."

"Be quiet and drink your soup."

"yes ma'am."

Skull: It makes a lot of sense for Skull to get sick around you, if you think about it. His mind and body have been in a constant state of stress for such a long time, never allowing him to slip, not even for a moment; being with you finally allows him to relax enough to get ill.

Despite his generally eeby nature, Skull isn't very good at 'turning off'. He always wants to be helping, doing something for you, making something or fixing something, providing. He feels like a bad husband if he's not helping. He'll regularly need steering back to bed - he shuffles into the room, half-aware and with his blanket still draped around his shoulders, wanting to help with whatever you're doing despite absolutely needing to rest. If you leave him alone too long he'll start quietly doing chores.

Fun fact, it's actually scientifically proven that Skull heals faster if you treat him like the big baby he is. Put a blanket over him and a cup of tea on the coffee table, give him kisses while he drifts in and out of sleep. Turn on your favourite TV show and stay with him all day, pet his cranium when his head hurts, gently sing to him until he falls asleep. He spends so much time being the provider, the caregiver, the hunter, the gatherer, the protector. And as much as he adores caring for you... he completely forgot how it felt to be the one being cared for.

He doesn't mind being reminded. He doesn't mind at all.

[reverse1999fics]

Hallo! I not sure request is open if is not feel free to decline this sorry! If is alright could i request 6 and medicine pocket separately with a shy and timid s/o who worries a lot and hides behind them doesn’t have any friends but likes to just be by their side most of the time and clings to them? Hope you have a nice day!

Woohoo! Back on that grind and cranking out requests!! They are open btw!!

Please forgive me if either of them are a little ooc! I don't have MP and I skipped through the story so I don't entirely know 6's personality all that well!!

Medicine Pocket & 6 w/a Timid/Shy S/O (separate)

Medicine Pocket is someone with a very flamboyant personality, always being able to speak their mind. They never quite understood why or how you could be so timid, but that didn't stop them from loving you all the same.

Their tall physic let off an intimidating aura to those who didn't know them properly, but to you it was a source of comfort. Their height makes it easy for you to hide behind, holding their hand or a part of their coat and trailing behind them like a child would play follow the leader. Of course Medicine Pocket had no issue with this, even taking pride in how safe you'd feel around them and only them.

No matter that you don't have many friends, neither do they due to how... Different they are to others, all they need is to be in your company they say. Others were frustrating and didn't understand what they were trying to say, what they meant, but you did. You always understood their words and actions, so you were the only person they truly wanted to be around.

Clingy? You? Clearly you've never met them because goodness only knows how much they love to be around you. Even if it were you just simply being in the same room as them, they want to be near you. You know them better than anyone else, understand their weird antics and never judge them for how they acted or what they did. That was something they held close to their heart, right next to you, so of course your affection is needed on a daily basis! Sit next to them while they work on projects or go through paperwork, lay your head on their shoulder, read a book on the couch they moved in the room just for you, take a nice nap, sit on their lap, let them sit on your lap! Anything, as long as you were with them.

6 is a person driven to perfection when it comes to his work, someone strict with his rules and follows them all to a T. You, are a slight exception though. Oh how adorable you are to him, holding onto his sash while standing behind him, cowering from the other numbers like a little kitten. He had a soft spot for you, that much was clear to everyone

Being of high status on the island, he was a busy person, usually so busy he comes off as a recluse. But never was he too busy to ignore you even for a moment. Come into his arms after a long day of interacting with people, sit in his lap and rest to regain your social battery while he works on equations and problem solving. Your battery recharges just as much as his does, so let him rest his head on yours for a moment but don't question his closed eyes. He's just letting them rest for a moment.

You need not worry about not having many friends, he wouldn't say he has many either, if any at all. You are his one and only, why pay attention to others when he has you to keep him company? He'd rather stay home with you by his side with a good book of philosophy rather than go out with others. His robes will keep you warm, so snuggle up to his side and read along with him if you do so please.

His personality severely contradicts your own, having a more serious and stern personality that goes against your timid one, but that never stops him from loving you all the same. Should the two of you be away from each other he'll leave a piece of him with you, perhaps something on his person he wears often, or maybe a book he knows you'd like. When he is with you he'll never mind you grabbing a hold of his hand, even when others are around. He finds it adorable how you seem to try and melt into his arm as you hold onto it while others are around and chatting.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

By fire and heart.

Daemma Targaryen. Second daughter of King Viserys and queen Aemma, you're the living portrait of your mother with the character of a true dragon, as a second daughter you don't have right to the throne but certainly, you will protect your sister's succession by heart.

(You are one year younger than Rhaenyra.)

Warning ⚠️: Credits of this images goes to whoever they belong to! Grammatical and spelling errors, maybe this won't be good enough but In my head the story was a good one.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Pt.2 is here

You're smart, brave and pretty, agile with swords and archery, you have interests in medicine and history, you feel proud of who you are, the confidence and self-esteem are one of many attributes. You always thought you didn't need no one else but yourself, you're good with it, for you that's more than enough.

You never complained about being the second child or about the preference of your father for Rhaenyra, for you it was fine, after all she was the first born, and your father's desire to have a boy helped to not feel this favoritism.

Your mother didn't have favorites, she loved her daughters, your relationship with your sister wasn't the best but it worked, you always thought Alicent was like her father, your uncle Daemon said it a thousand times «he's an arsehole» and you agreed, you never understood why your father couldn't see it in that way.

Daemon is a great uncle, your favorite person in the world but he always looks more interested in your sister, with you he was like the kind of father you wanted, fierce and protective, teaching you to fight and follow your own ambitions, you were good with the sword thanks to him, you were a good Dragon rider thanks to him, much of the things you like is because of him, your father is not really there for you, your poor mother was always in bed with her pregnancies, and Rhaenyra always with Alicent, you even take your classes with the septa alone, not with them.

After your mother's dead you for the first time felt weak, fragile and alone, the anger started to burn your inside, you were angry with your father, his wishes to have a son took your mother's life away, the poor newborn was alive for less than a day. Poor little thing, his little nose would never inhale the fresh air of the morning, his little mouth would never suspire and his eyes would never admire the majesty of the world or a dragon. Then your uncle making those comments about your baby brother hurt you, but you still admired your uncle more than to your father, in fact you were sure all this situation could be avoided if your father simply named your uncle as his heir.

- DAEMMA! You have to understand! I'm the king, it is my duty to bring heirs to secure the Targaryen bloodline on the throne.

- You already have an heir! Now leave, I don't want to see you, for me... You murdered my mother!

Were lonely nights and days, you rarely left your room, you were sad, angry, depressed. Your uncle was sent to go back with his wife, Rhaenyra was living her own duel, you didn't have a shoulder to cry in.

One night your father requested your presence with urgency. You arrived just in time, Rhaenyra was already there talking with your father.

- What's the meaning of this familiar reunion?

- Daemma, come here. I... I thought about what you said to me a few nights ago.

Your father looked tired and unsure of what he was saying but you were also tired, Rhaenyra is not understanding yet, but you, you have a presentiment.

-You were right, I want to apologize to you, my girls, all this time I wasted trying to have a son and named him as my heir... But, Rhaenyra, you're my first child, all this time you were the answer to my pleadings. I'll name you my heir.

Rhaenyra and you looked at each other in shock, what did he say?, without wasting time both spoke.

- But Daemon!

- Daemon was not made for the crown, but I think you are, Rhaenyra, I believe you would be a good queen, your mother would agree with me.

Rhaenyra is in silence, you're too since you're thinking about Rhaenyra as the first woman who will sit on the throne. Would the council accept this?. You were lost in thoughts that you didn't feel your father taking your hand in his, you realized it until he spoke.

- Daemma, you're my second child and I know you and I have our differences but... Promise me, you will support your sister, swear over your mother and brother ashes that you will always be at your sister's side.

For the first time in years, you and Rhaenyra had a connection, none of you say something, but both understood each other. Both nodded in silence, accepting what the destiny was putting on your shoulders. The three of you held hands while your father explained about the secret passed from the king to the heir, you went back to your chambers, that night you couldn't sleep you had nightmares about fire, blood and wars.

The next day, while your sister was getting ready for the ceremony, you were just there, observing her and Alicent, both were in silence, when your guard knocked on the door.

- Princess Daemma? I have the information you require this morning.

You stood up from your seat and left them, your guard told you about your uncle leaving the castle, so both are running to the dragon pit, he won't leave without saying goodbye, at least not without saying bye to you.

He's with a woman you never saw before, he's allowing her to touch Caraxes.

- Daemon... Leaving without saying goodbye is not what I was expecting from my uncle.

- Daemma...

He approaches you and gives you a hug, caressing your hair.

- The King sends me away, Otto Hightower, that poisonous snake convinced him.

- I thought it was the fact you celebrated while my family was suffering the loss of my mom and brother.

He steps back and simply looks at you and smiles, then takes your hand in his.

- Take care of them and take care of yourself, get stronger Daemma.

You nod in silence while he walks back at his dragon, in a blink of an eye Caraxes Roars and disappears with your uncle. You went back just in time to the ceremony, you were the first one to bend your knee and swear your loyalty to your sister, the future heir.

[whiteskullofroses]

Baldwin IV of Jerusalem x physician!reader

(Before any of you get mad this is about Baldwin from Kingdom of Heaven not the actual historical figure.)

🩷Imagine Baldwin receiving the medication for leprosy along with a new physician who has to see his face for the first time and makes him feel comfortable about it🩷

"Y/N Y/L/N, is that who you must be?" Sibylla questioned. You had just been preparing to leave for the Palace, in which you'd be treating the King when she rode up to you with her horse. Her confidence amazed you, after all she was quite beautiful.

"Yes, my lady." Looking up at her with a bit of a struggle, since it was a hot summer day, the Sun was high up in the sky causing your eyes to burn when gazing up at her.

"Good. Follow me." She ordered and waited a short while for you to straddle your horse as well. You named your horse Sihara. You felt the need to do so as she was always with you on your travels. You were blessed with the privilege of having a loyal horse, tying her to a tree to avoid losing her was unnecessary. She simply never left you.

After you two left, there was another 15 minutes before you'd arrive to the Palace because the city was heavily crowded. Neither of you spoke much, from time to time Sibylla would as you questions regarding your medical career. It was reasonable of course. Her brothers life, whom she loved regardless his illness, was now at your hands.

This put a great amount of pressure on you. If anything went wrong, the people would kill you. She and her fellow men and women of power would hunt you down no matter for how long you'd hide.

But what could go wrong? All you had to do was apply cream on his open wounds for about 3 months until they'd heal and you'd go on with your life.

~.................~

"This way." Sibylla pointed to a long corridor with two guards standing at each side. There was another hallway on the right before you'd finally arrive to your patient.

The walk was filled with anxiety. You could feel your stomach twisting inside out with every step you took. You've saved many many lives and have helped many many people to gain back their health but this time it felt like it was your first time in the medical field. Like it was your first time keeping one on this Earth.

Maybe it was because this was your first time treating royalty?

But when you reached the doorway and saw the king sitting with his back to you, all worries went away. In a weird way, you could feel his calming and peaceful energy from afar, telling you 'everything will be alright.'

You weren't sure how to announce your presence in the room, but thankfully the King heard you walking and was about to make that clear.

"Come forward." His voice loud and clear. The way he carried himself, as though he wasn't sick fascinated you and had you admire him deeply.

He turned around on his chair to have a look at you, as you bowed.

"No do not kneel." Surprised, you got back up and straightened your back. "I'm glad to meet (your father's name)'s daughter. He was a great friend of my father's"

Baldwin got up from his chair and started walking closer to you. "The Saracens say that this disease is God's vengeance against the vanity of our kingdom." He chuckled and added: "My guesses are you are to remedy this so-called curse casted upon me."

"Certainly, my lord." You gave an innocent half smile and nodded.

The king turned his head towards a table: "Come, sit."

As you walked closer you noticed there was displayed the popular game amongst men of power all over the world. Chess.

The two of you sat down, a servant served you wine and than the serious conversation began: "Y/N, I must ask this. How is the healing process going to affect my duties?"

"Not at all." You answered with much confidence. "All I have to do is apply the medicine on your wounds and areas that have in general been infected the most." Explaining to him as Baldwin leaned forward, signaling for you to go on: "This should last approximately 2 to 3 months."

You could sence that he was nervous. After all he was still so young and probably still insecure about his features, as much as someone with a disease that disfigures you can be.

"My lord, you can trust me. Worrying is out of the question here, after all I've been in the medical field all my life. I promise to you I won't let you down." Your words were full of pure determination to save him, they cut so deep into his heart in the best way possible he could just tear up.

~.................~

As you were mixing up the cream that was soon ready to be applied, the tension in the room was indescribable. Baldwin layed on the bed almost unmoving.

His upper body and legs were exposed. What you could see from the start was that his left arm was most infected, than any other body part.

Besides that he still had his mask on, which he would have to remove at some point to get the full healing process done.

The medicine was prepared. You put on your gloves and went to work.

"My lord, if you feel any discomfort during this, please warn me immediately." You stated.

He nodded and even though you couldn't see it because of the mask, the young man was blushing. So far all his personal physicians were males, and since he was sick he was never really touched by a woman in the slightest, besides his mother when he was younger, so of course he was flustered.

You applied the cream firstly on his left arm, being extra careful and waiting for any signs of nausea from the king. Sometimes treating people who have been infected with leprosy can be quite a pain since vomiting and dizziness are common side effects. Luckily the king was doing just fine and in silence you slowly applied the cream all over him. Except his face.

"My lord, may you now remove your mask please?" You smiled softly at him, really trying to get the young king to get comfortable around you since you'd be doing this for 3 months together.

"Is it necessary?" He hesitated. Feelings of shame and insecurity flooded his mind. He never let anyone see his full face, especially not a young woman whom he learned love to gossip around since his sister and her friends used to do it for as long back as he can remember. But this time it was different, and you wanted him to understand so badly: "I understand you may not feel comfortable doing so, but trust me I wish the best for you. To have this treatment the most affective it can be, I'll need to apply it on your face too." You explained as gently as you could.

After a moment, he did it. And he looked beautiful. His face was decorated with a pair of blue eyes and soft locks of golden hair. His face was of course infected, he didn't have a nose and there appeared to be a quite litteral hole in his right cheek but you didn't care. He was handsome no one could deny that.

So you smiled and commented: "My lord, I really can't comprehend why you were so afraid."

He looked up at you, who was now slowly smearing the medicine on his face.

"Is it really that hard to understand?" He sighed.

"My lord, you look just as handsome as any. Infected or not. You are someone young men should look up to. A true God's warrior."

He took a deep breath in, smelling the healing herbs on him.

When you turned around, he shed a tear.

THE END.

[hyuuukais]

⋆₊‧⁺˖⋆˚.⋆ ͙͘͡★ LOOK UP TO THE STARS

pairing ▪︎ han jisung x fem reader

synopsis ▪︎ sent out on a mission to a neighbouring QZ that's gone radio silent, y/n falls into the hands of a post-rebellion group after things go terribly wrong. giving up on rejoining her squad, she joins the group on a trek to find a missing member, the group leader's sister. what's supposed to be a not-so-simple trip out and back to their base becomes a one-way ticket to the end of everything they know.

warnings ▪︎ general, yn kinda meanish to han, yn feeling like a burden

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWO ▪︎ LIFE BEYOND THE WALLS (6.9k)

For being the guy who saved your life, Han Jisung turned out to be a pain in the ass.

It had been about three months since joining this post-rebellion group, if you could call it that. They reside in a small, fenced-in town, only about one intersection big. Before you'd been taken to where a group of them were camping out, waiting for the right time to strike the QZ for resources. Although you couldn't commend their actions, you understood them.

Fewer people lived in the town than there were in your squad, only six of them. You'd met Jeongin long before when he was a cadet with you, disappearing soon after. No one knew what happened to him, assuming he'd been bitten or died, but now you knew the truth, and Seungmin knew too. He'd stayed by you during your recovery, teasing you relentlessly about almost dying; you knew it was because the thought of that scared him.

Chan turned out to be exactly what Han had called him when you first met; the captain, although he didn't like to be called that, much more humble than some people. You'd properly met Chaeryeong after being able to leave the tent, learning she was the other sniper. Everyone had roles; Chan the leader, Chaeryeong and Han the snipers, and Jeongin the healer. The others you met were Hyunjin, a skilled fighter with liquid movements, and Felix, a recent recruit training next to Jeongin to learn medicine the best he could out here; a bit of a pacifist, but will do what's needed.

The first couple of weeks were tough; learning to move around with a broken limb was a first for you. Sure, you'd sprained your wrist or your ankle here and there during training, but you'd never had your leg crushed by a piece of wall before. Lucky for you, it was below your knee and a surprisingly clean break, but the healing process would be long regardless. Everyone here treated you hesitantly, unsure of your intentions. Seungmin was different, instantly earning respect from what Jeongin had told the group about him previously.

To say you felt like an alien was an understatement. After the first month it became clear that returning to your QZ was no longer an option. It had been too long, they wouldn't trust you anymore. You only brought up going back once during your first week there.

"How long do you plan on having us?" You'd asked Chan.

It was night and you were sitting on a pull out chair staring into a campfire in the backyard of his house. There were enough houses on this small intersection for the six of them, an extra reserved for people passing through.

"As long as you want or need to stay," He replied, looking over at you.

You couldn't meet his gaze. "I don't know if I can go back."

"Why not?" He asked. "It's not too late. You can say you escaped us and found your way back if they question you."

"I know, it's not that." You considered leaving it there, unsure how to phrase the next part. "The mission we were sent on wasn't supposed to go down like that. We were told it was a search and rescue and that most of the infected had left, but clearly that wasn't the case." You finally looked at him, face blank. "They sent us out to die."

He nodded, taking in the information. When he said nothing, you continued.

"Maybe my place isn't there anymore. I didn't grow up there like most others and never really felt like I belonged there," You sighed. "Then I met Seungmin and that changed, kind of. I always had Minho, but- ugh. It's complicated."

Waving a hand in the air, you shook your head.

"He's your family," Chan said slowly.

"He left me," Your words came out harsher than you expected. "And now I don't know what to think. Not to mention Minho knew what we were walking into and said nothing."

"Ouch," Chan hissed. "How does Seungmin feel about all of this?"

"Pretty sure he's glad to be out of there," You laughed. "He never liked it very much, always challenging authority subtlety... and not so subtlety."

You ended up sleeping on Chan's couch that night, too tired and heavy with emotions to return to your shared house with Seungmin; he knew you too well not to press.

Nobody said anything, just accepted you into the group after the first month passed and it became clear you weren't leaving. After that, people started interacting with you more, making small talk here and there. Your respect grew for each member the more you heard about their struggles to survive. It turned out the only one with experience in a quarantine zone outside of yourself, Seungmin, and Jeongin, was Hyunjin, which made sense to you as he had similar fighting techniques to the ones you've learned, but he's made them his own.

"I left when I was sixteen," He said one night while visiting you to cook dinner; "a proper welcome" as he put it. "Never looked back. Chan found me half dead in the back of a convenience store."

"He has a habit of doing that, huh?"

"Yeah," He laughed. "He really does."

Cut to present day where you're laying in bed early in the morning, Hyunjin lying next to you in the sun, rays reflecting in his dark eyes as he stares at you. He'd stayed over after another late night cooking session.

"Good morning," He smiles, propping himself up with his arm and using the other to trace a finger over your bare shoulder blade.

"Morning," You mumble, face half smushed into the pillow.

Not much later, you were dressed and ready for the day, leaving to meet up with Jeongin to check your leg. By now it was pretty much healed, but still aching. You haven't been allowed to leave town at all, staying back to rest. Hyunjin trailed a short distance behind you, humming a tune.

"Hey lovebirds," Seungmin teases as you step onto the porch, rolling your eyes. "Sleep well? Did you sleep?"

"Shut up," You playfully smack his shoulder, stopping next to him with a hand on your hip. "Jeongin inside?"

"Where else would he be?" Seungmin says. "Chan's there, Han too."

Groaning, you head in, knocking lightly so you don't startle anyone. You didn't have a problem with Han exactly, but he definitely had one with you. Since you arrived, he seems to have made it his life mission to annoy you, questioning your every move. It only got worse once you and Hyunjin became closer.

"What's going on?" You ask, joining the three in Jeongins dining room.

Chan looks up from the map displayed in front of him, eyeing Hyunjin as he sits next to you. A lot went unsaid about relationships within the group, but it wasn't hard to tell something was going on. In all your years in the QZ, you'd never acted upon feelings for someone in fear of rejection, but with him, it felt easy. You didn't need to say anything about your lack of experience in this field, he somehow just understood.

"A transmission came in today," Chan starts, pointing at a red mark on the map. "This is where we estimate it came from. Problem is, that it's in the middle of a huge city. There's no way we can get in there without detection. Chances are they're already dead by the time we get there."

"What was the message?" You ask, eyebrows furrowed. "Search and rescue? Resources? Info?"

"...yes?" Chan says. "First it explained the group was trapped in the lower level of a hospital when out on a medical run. They reached where they needed to be, but there are too many infected roaming the halls for them to get out the way they came, and the other way is blocked."

"Shit, that's not good." Hyunjin's eyebrows raise.

"No, it's not. We caught wind of this, but I'm pretty sure it was meant for a QZ to hear, not us. If we can get there first, we can gather the supplies we need as well since we're starting to run low." Chan straightens, analyzing the map. "We'd all have to go."

Thinking about it, this doesn't seem like the type of plan Chan would usually make, nor the kind of transmission he'd respond to. This was dangerous, risky; you knew him well enough to know he wouldn't put his people in that kind of situation for something so simple. There has to be more.

"This is a bad idea," You say, breaking the silence.

"Correct," Jeongin speaks for the first time since you've entered his home. "A terrible one."

He side-eyes Chan who ignores the look.

"These people might have information," Chan says carefully. "About... about Hannah."

Jeongin and Hyunjin startle at this, but only Hyunjin speaks. "Hannah? You really think so?"

"I think it's possible."

"Then we have to go, don't we?" Han looks around the table at everyone's faces.

"It's not that simple," Chan says, shaking his head. "Someone like her was described to be badly hurt; the whole reason they had to go to this hospital in the first place. It might not even be her. That's why I need you all to convince me this isn't worth it."

"Who's Hannah?"

Everyone looks at you.

"Um, sorry." You look away, picking at your nails. "Should I not ask that?"

"No, no, you can." Chan breathes. "She's my sister."

"Oh."

"Oh," Chan repeats. "'Oh' is right."

"How far is this city?" You ask. "And how sure are you it's her?"

"About three hours away from here, but we only have enough gas for half of that." Chan finally sits, running a hand through his short hair. "There's a gas station not too far we can walk to and we can siphon some from cars we pass. As for Hannah," he sighs and puts his arm out to reveal a tattoo on his wrist. "We have matching ones. Hers a star and mine the moon."

"Y/n and I can go to the gas station," Hyunjin volunteers. "I'm sure she'd love to get out now that she can."

You nod eagerly, watching Chan move his arm back to his lap.

"Are you sure you're up to this Y/n?"

"Yes, completely."

"Okay," Chan looks over to Jeongin. "Check her over and make sure she's okay to go first. And you, " He points to Han. "Go with them."

You suppress a groan.

"I mean, that's why she's here in the first place," Jeongin mumbles. "You just got here earlier than expected."

At the same time, Han says, "Aye-aye, Captain."

"My bad," Chan laughs sheepishly. "I'll see myself out then."

"Y/n, get over here." Jeongin stands, starting toward another room. "Hyunjin, Han, you stay there. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. You understand."

Hyunjin grumbles as you leave, a smile forming on your face. You have something good with him.

-

"Will there be infected, do you think?"

Hyunjin pouts his lips a bit, thinking for a moment. "No, there shouldn't be. I went on a patrol that passed through here two weeks ago with Han and we cleared out a few stragglers. There are tripwires in the surrounding perimeter that we put up that day too, to try and prevent more from showing up."

This is the first real chance you've had to see outside of the small town the group has built for themselves. Not far from town is the gas station, then further down, a bigger town. You'd asked once why they didn't fence in the bigger town in case they grew in numbers and couldn't house everyone, Chan saying it was all they could do at the time. And since then, they've only lost people.

One of the people they've lost must have been Hannah. As much as you want to know what happened to her and how they got separated, you didn't press Chan. He'd tell you if he wanted to and when it was important. Nobody really mentioned anyone else, too painful to relive the memories. You figured you were lucky. The closest you've become to losing someone was when Jeongin went missing, but even then, you barely knew him. Then there were your parents, but you were young and don't remember much of them.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm?" You look up at Hyunjin, sunlight highlighting his soft features. "How do you people always know when I'm deep in thought?"

"You squint and angle your head." Hyunjin comes to a stop, hand finding yours. "And you furrow your eyebrows. It's really cute."

Hyunjin looks back at Han, who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. His other hand traces your brow bone down to your jaw and ends at your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. Smiling, you start to lean in, and he does too. Lips barely touching yours, he pulls away at the sound of a vehicle approaching. You move apart and he pulls you to the side of the road, stepping slightly in front of you.

"Need a ride?" The truck slows next to you, window rolled down to reveal a man just older than you, maybe around Chan's age.

"Nope, we know where we're going," Hyunjin answers.

The man looks between you two and smirks. "Don't get too distracted out here, you never know what might get you."

With that, he drives away, a funny feeling left in your chest.

"What was that about?" You almost forgot Han was with you.

"Nothing," You say. "Let's keep going."

Han rolls his eyes and Hyunjin jogs up back next to you, hand on the small of your back. The feeling of his hand is a small comfort, easing the nerves in your belly. Not many people passed through this part so you didn't know how to take his warning. If he meant the infected, did he not notice your weapons? You're more than prepared for a fight.

There's a break in the trees signalling the gas station; a small building, once partially a coffee chain for people stopping in. The windows are broken and the door is gone, grass overgrown in the front, and years of wear and tear all over. An abandoned car sits by a pump, tires missing and windshield shattered. Inside is a skeleton in the driver's seat, body curved over the steering wheel. The trunk is popped open revealing an empty suitcase. Poor bastard was probably trying to get the hell out of here before things got bad.

"I'm gonna take a look inside!" You shout, already walking through the doorway.

"There won't be much, we cleared it out when we first found this place!" Han shouts back, getting to work on one of the pumps outside.

There are a few aisles of convenience items inside and to the right, most of which are cleaned out or have been damaged. Glass crunches under your feet as you walk around the bare aisles, scanning as you go. There really isn't much; Han was right for once.

"Oh, but there's this," You mutter, picking up a faded purple box near the back. "I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these."

You tuck the box into your backpack, the zipper stuck.

"You're kidding, right?"

The backpack refuses to open, so you sit down and struggle some more. Your back is facing the front, the counter to pay directly next to you with the aisle on the other side tightly. After a few moments of fighting and coming close to defeat, it unzips.

"Thank you!" You whisper.

Standing and spinning around, you're met with a decaying body facing away from you. Immediately, you cover your mouth, crouching down and moving slowly toward the back to the station. It begins to turn, limping with each step. You've successfully moved around the side, inching closer to the middle until you can see the door, now directly in front of you. If the infected continues down where it assumes you were, you should be able to leave and get to the others before alerting it.

Of course, that's not at all what happens.

Making a beeline to the door, you're stopped by another infected coming from your right. You collide with it, falling on your hands into the broken glass. The cuts sting, the infected tripping over your crouched body with a crash, and the other limping over to you. Thankfully this one is slow, but the one who tripped over you is already getting up as you examine your bleeding hands. You could call out for help, but if there are more, you don't want them to get to Hyunjin.

You pull out a knife, standing up fully to take on the infected beings, focusing on the fast one. It comes at you, wailing and arms swinging. You're able to dodge, a quick jump left into the aisle and a swipe to its arm drawing blood. Grabbing another knife by the tip, you aim at the limping one, throwing it expertly into the skull with a squelch. Gross.

As you're distracted, the one you swiped pulls around the other side to your back, lunging forward. Landing on your stomach, you're not in a position to fight back, pinned to the ground by surprisingly strong arms. Another wail escapes its lips close to your ear.

This is it, you think. I'm dying in the middle of a gas station convenience store. No wonder Hyunjin and I were so drawn to each other.

The full body weight of the infected falls on top of you, stealing your breath away.

"How many times am I gonna have to save your ass?" Han grunts as he pulls the body off of you, grabbing your arm to help you up.

You take it back. "I was doing fine."

"Two seconds away from being breakfast is fine?" Han beams. "Then I'm doing amazing!"

"Next time, let the zombie eat my face so I don't have to listen to you, okay?" You get close to his face, personal space be damned.

"Yeah, maybe I will." His eyes narrow. "Then I don't have to listen to you either. Win-win situation."

"Guys?" Hyunjin appears in the doorway. "Han, back away. Y/n, what the fuck?"

You look at him as Han steps back, arms crossed. "What?"

"Why didn't you call for help?" He looks betrayed. "I was right there-"

"I was handling it!" You whine.

"You weren't handling shit-"

"Han, not so respectfully, shut the fuck up. Step out." Hyunjin enters the store, leaving the doorway open, Han reluctantly leaving you two alone. "Didn't want him to hear this, but he had a point. The minute they both came after you, you should have yelled."

"Everything was fine until I got pinned," You argue, not meeting his eye. "And at that point, it would've been too late... usually."

Hyunjin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm fast, it's why Chan keeps me around. I would have made it to you in time."

"Nuh-uh," You say, head snapping up to look at him. "Chan thinks of you as family, that's why he 'keeps you around'."

"We're not talking about me right now-"

"I think we are actually," you say, running your fingers gently down his arms. You take his hands in yours. "Do you really think that? You think he only values you for your skills?"

"Obviously," Hyunjin scoffs. "It's literally the apocalypse, there's no point in real relationships when you might die the next day."

You bite back a mean comment, taking a deep breath. "Is that what you think of us?"

"What? No! No, that's not-" He takes a hand back to run it through his hair. "I just mean he doesn't need me like that. I'm useful, but replaceable."

"Not to him," Your words soften. "Not to any of us, even Han."

Hyunjin laughs, head hanging down and your foreheads touch. All you do for a while is stand there with each other, urging your feelings to melt through your skin and seep into his, make him understand he's more than just a tool to be used.

"Hey, you guys done?" Han says, nerves leaking into his voice.

"What's wrong?" You let go of Hyunjin, walking outside.

"Those guys are back."

A couple of trucks pull in, one stopping directly in front of you. For a second you think he'll hit you, parking a few inches away from your feet. The same man from earlier steps out and closes the door, hard, leaning against it. He looks at the three of you standing together, taking extra time to take you in. Beside you, you can feel Hyunjin tense, and you grip your knife tighter.

"You three still here?" The man pulls out a crushed pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. "Any gas left? We're running low."

"Nope, just grabbed the last of it." Han lifts the red gas can. "There's another station about twenty minutes from here."

Another man emerges from the other side of the truck, rifle in hand. The one smoking comes closer and you finally move away from the truck, planning to walk away before he tries anything. There's another truck parked on the far side of the station and three more men with guns step out, blocking your path. You turn around, nearly running into the first man.

"Why go that far when we can take yours?" He blows a puff of smoke in your face and you barely hold back a cough, eyes stinging. "Hand it over."

You grab the can from Han before he can protest, sticking it out to the man. He goes to grab it, but you move away at the last second with a smirk. It dangles by your side.

"For what?" You tilt your head.

"This isn't up for debate, little lady," He scowls. "Now hand it over."

He makes another move to grab it, but you swing it behind you, angling your back toward Hyunjin who takes it from you. Growing irritated, the man grabs your wrist to discover it empty, roughly pulling you forward. A body comes between you and him, landing an attack on his arm and he lets you go.

"Get your hands off her," Han growls, pushing him back.

Beside you, Hyunjin stumbles forward. The gas can is no longer in his hand and you catch a glimpse of it in the hands of one of the other men, gun poking Hyunjin in the back. You feel the tip of another gun in your own and soon enough all are pointed at your group, fingers on the triggers. Han still has his arm up, taking in the threatening circle of people.

"I suggest you back up." The man drops his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with the toe of his boot.

There's nothing you can do except let the group walk away, gas can in hand, and return to the others. Chan won't be happy, but at least you'll be alive. You watch Han's fists clench by his side, no doubt resisting the urge to throw a punch or two. It doesn't take long for them to get back in their vehicles and drive off, leaving you defeated.

-

"You're kidding."

Chan runs a hand over his face, staying put on his chin with the other on his hip. He breathes slowly, walking to the window of his kitchen, and leans back on the counter. Although his body is facing you, his eyes are focused on something beyond you. The sunset peaks through the curtains behind him and you shift uncomfortably to cover the blinding light with his body.

On your left is Hyunjin, head hanging low, and Han stands on your right with his chin high in the air. If you look down, you can see his hands shaking.

"We had no choice." You speak first, holding Chan's gaze the best you can. Having experience in disappointing higher-ups in your QZ made it easier to be present in this conversation.

"You had a choice," He says. "Instead of going in the store Han specifically said was cleared out, you could have helped with collecting the gas and gotten out of there quicker."

A shiver runs down your back under his gaze. "It's kind of hard to help when we only have one can."

Chan exhales sharply, crossing his arms. You can tell he knows you have a point and doesn't want to admit it, opting to stay silent and let you continue.

"Besides, it wasn't completely cleared out," You say, digging through your bag to present what you found. "Not that it matters for you guys, but I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these. So if you need me, I'll be at her house."

You know you shouldn't walk out without being dismissed, but you can't handle the suffocating air of Chan's kitchen any longer. There's no protest as you leave, but can hear Han try to argue as the door shuts behind you. As much as you want to head straight to Chaeryeong's house, you take a detour to your own first. Seungmin should still be with Jeongin figuring out the best route to the hospital, so you should be in the clear to cry on your couch alone.

Dust particles shine in the light of the old house you now share with Seungmin, greeting you like an old friend. It makes your nose itch and your eyes dry, sniffling hard as you lean against the door. Saying you were overwhelmed would be an understatement. This was your first proper mission here and you fucked it up. Since coming here, all you've done is be a burden while Seungmin has actually been valuable to the group, mapping out routes to avoid squad patrols and leading them to better resources. And what have you done besides lay in bed with a broken leg? You're useless to them. Soon enough they'll realize and cast you out.

A sigh escapes your lips as you slide down the door, tossing your bag to the side. Will there ever be a day you don't overthink every action, every word you say? Probably not, but maybe with enough time you'll just stop caring, stop listening to that voice in the back of your head. Or maybe it will win. Only one way to find out; keep going.

-

"Rise and shine!" A jacket is tossed over your face, effectively waking you. "Get out of bed, we're leaving."

"Huh?" You groan, sitting up. Your bones crack and your neck is stiff from where you fell asleep on the couch. "Leaving? And what are you doing here?"

Han walks back in front of you, taking a seat on your coffee table. The wood creaks and for a second you imagine it snapping, sending the man in front of you onto his ass, making you snort.

"What?"

"Nothing." You wave off his look of annoyance. "Answer my questions first."

His eyes narrow. "Chan sent me over to get you. We're heading to the hospital today, all of us. He said you better not drag us down more than you already have."

Oh.

"Let's get a move on," He stands, a strange expression on his face after seeing yours drop. "Everyone's already in the truck. You'll have to sit in the back with me."

"Yeah, okay." You don't have it in you to argue.

Taking one last look around the house you've been living in for the past few months, you wonder what you would be doing if you had gone back to your QZ. You pick up the jacket Han threw; it's one of yours, a worn black denim with a patch to signify your rank on the breast pocket. It wasn't mandatory, but you liked people knowing where you stood when you walked around in casual clothes, even if it wasn't a high ranking. There was a sense of belonging when you saw others in uniform with their matching patches, always able to blend in with a crowd.

You rip the patch off.

"Done?" Han stands in the open doorway, having watched you make this silent choice.

All you do is nod, slipping the jacket on as you walk past him. It's early, the sun not quite rising yet; morning dew wets your boots as you jog to the truck. Chan is standing by the driver's side door, no doubt waiting on you and Han. Inside is Seungmin in the passenger's side, and Chaeryeong, Hyunjin, and Jeongin in the back, although you can barely see them through the tinted windows. With a nod to Chan, you throw your bag over and hop in the back. There's a little window behind where you settle yourself, opening it to poke Hyunjin in the back of the head.

"What-" He shifts in his seat, disgust leaving his face when he sees it's you. "I thought you were Han. Did you want to sit in here? We can kick Jeongin out-"

"No, you will not." Jeongin locks his door and you laugh.

"I'm fine here." The truck dips as Han hops over, sitting closer to the end. "Besides, if I get annoyed with him I can just throw him over."

Hyunjin makes eye contact with Han as he looks over at your words and your eyes follow. He's sitting with his gun over his lap, bag on the opposite side. It doesn't take long for Han to look away, shifting to face the road as Chan starts up the vehicle.

"Weird," You say, looking back at Hyunjin who rolls his eyes. "Sitting that way is gonna be uncomfortable now that we're moving."

"It's worth it if I'm talking to you," Hyunjin smiles. "Besides-"

"Y/n!" Felix bounds over the edge of the truck. "Looks like we'll be together this ride."

"Lix, you interrupted me," Hyunjin whines. "I was going to say, at least I won't be bored."

"We aren't boring," Jeongin chips in.

"Y/n is more entertaining." Hyunjin pouts.

You lean in, pressing a kiss onto his pouting face and soon enough he's smiling into you. When you break away, Hyunjin sighs and turns back around, the truck finally moving. Closing the small window, you get as comfortable as you can in the back, shifting your backpack behind you to use as a cushion. Having Felix join you let you relax a bit knowing he can keep Han distracted when he inevitably wants attention you won't give. If he wasn't such a little shit, you could actually be friends.

The roads Chan takes are bumpy and surrounded by trees, no sign of life around you, not that the infected would really fall under 'life'. For a while, things seem peaceful. You watch Felix's hair blow across his face as he leans back, eyes closed. Although you knew some would think your watching to be strange, you liked to be able to take in details of another person. The rise and fall of his chest and the way his lips are parted in a light sleep; the freckles dusting his face and the small scar running through his right eyebrow.

Looking at Han, you can see the way he fiddles with the strap of his bag laid next to him. He's too far to observe in great detail, but you see the way his eyes wander across the landscape, deep in his head. There's a moment you catch his breathing quicken and he sits up more, crossing his legs and placing a hand on each knee. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath through his nose and out of his mouth, repeating several times. You shouldn't be watching this.

"Hey, Han." You crawl over to him, sitting by his side. "What's going on in there?"

You point at his head and he looks at you strangely.

"What?" He moves away.

"You seem tense," You shrug. "How long do you think until we get there?"

Changing the subject appeared to be a better plan as Han returns your shrug. "I'd say we have about thirty more minutes until we run out of gas. Then we walk the rest of the way which'll take at least a few more hours than driving would have taken."

"Do you think they'll still be alive?" You ask quietly. "The people at the hospital?"

It's weird to think of all the experience the people around you have and your lack of it, knowing everything in theory but not in practice. Other than what was supposed to be your first mission outside of the QZ, you've never truly seen what the apocalypse has brought onto the world, not first-hand. The time before, when you were a child, you don't remember. You don't remember the harsh world your parents died to protect you from or the way they loved despite it all.

"Truthfully?" You nod. "...I don't know. I hope so. This means a lot to Chan, finding Hannah. He won't tell anyone, but we all know how much of a toll losing her took on him. We knew she wasn't dead, just.. gone, which is almost worse because who knows what she's been going through without us? And he blames himself, he always does for anything that happens to one of us."

There's nothing you can say to that, only nodding your head again. Everyone in this group cares so much, loves so much. How could you ever fit into that?

"Do you have siblings?" Han asks after a beat. "Back in your zone?"

Part of you thinks of Minho, who looked after who when no one else was there. "Not by blood."

"Who needs blood when you have soul?" Han looks at you, really looks at you. "You miss them."

"So what if I do-" You start, but the feeling of something missing sets in. You haven't even talked to Seungmin about missing Minho. "I... really fucking do. I miss him so much, and I don't know why I'm telling you of all people."

He laughs at that, and you do too. "Because you don't care what I'll say back to you?"

"Hmm, true," You laugh again. "Sometimes I think about the fact I'll never see him again and it's like, that's cruel. The universe gives you someone only to rip them away without a goodbye. A glimpse of their face and boom, gone. Never to be seen again. He probably thinks I'm dead. He probably thinks you guys killed me." You pause, looking away from Han, focusing on the passing trees. "He never even came looking for me."

"Hey," Han places a hand on yours gently. "You don't know that. Maybe he's just looking in the wrong place."

All you can do is nod again, tears brimming at the edges of your eyes. It's not much later the truck slows down and you let go of Han's hand, crawling back to where you were before to grab your bag. This must be the part you start walking.

Chan is the first to step out of the vehicle, taking in your surroundings and examining a map on the hood of the truck. Jeongin and Seungmin join his side, mumbling amongst themselves. Hyunjin helps you out of the back, picking you up so you don't have to jump down. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Han looking at you again, but pay him no attention.

"You and him make up?" Hyunjin forces a smile and gestures toward Han.

"No," You say, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "We had a civil conversation and that was that."

"Good," Hyunjin smiles more genuinely this time, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to the front.

"We go straight for a while longer before hitting a main road. There's a highway we need to cross, so keep your weapons handy when we get to that part." Chan clears his throat. "Stay in pairs as we walk, I don't want anyone wandering off and getting lost."

A hand clasps yours; Hyunjin, of course. Chan takes the lead, Seungmin and Jeongin close behind, then Chaeryeong and Felix. Han trails slightly behind you, clearly not wanting to join you and Hyunjin, but not wanting to bother the others either. You make sure to look back every once in a while to ensure he's still there. As much as he and you may not get along, you know how much he means to the group, and that's enough to want to keep him safe.

By the time you make it to the highway, your legs are aching from the distance. Abandoned cars litter the large street, dirty and broken, relics of the past. Here, the wind is stronger and you hold on tightly to Hyunjin. He switches from holding your hand to hooking arms, feeling more secure. The highway groans loudly from the wind and you have to crouch down to stop yourself from falling over the edge.

"Maybe we should stay put until the wind dies down!" Chaeryeong calls out, brushing hair out of her face. "It's not safe to continue!"

"As long as we walk in the middle, we should be fine!" Han passes you and Hyunjin, eyeing you as he does.

"No, Chaer is right," Chan stops the group. "Just for a little while. Then we can continue down the middle."

Biting his lip, and no doubt an argument, Han sits with his back against the van ahead of you with Chaeryeong and Felix. Hyunjin has an arm around you again, holding you close to him. The door to the car you're using as a shield is slightly ajar, and you can see the front seats are empty.

"Hey," You turn to Hyunjin. "Wanna sit inside? I think I can pry this open."

"Sure, it'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable than concrete," He laughs.

Sticking a larger knife into the opening, you pull back with your full body weight. The door comes swinging open, knocking you back against another car.

"Ta-da," You rub your head where it hit the opposing door. "Get in."

As Hyunjin starts to climb over the passenger seat, a blur of bodies comes tumbling out of the car, screaming and limbs flailing. It doesn't take long to register the infected attacking Hyunjin, and you're quick to grab the knife that you used for the door.

"Get the fuck off of him!" You shout, hopping onto it's back, wrapping an arm around it's neck to keep it from biting.

Stabbing now is too risky, too much of a chance of hitting Hyunjin with the way the infected is grabbing him. You kick it's arms, releasing the man under you and allowing him to roll to the side. The infected stands with you still on it's back, turning in harsh circles, and it takes everything in you to hold on. Your knife goes flying. As it attempts to scratch and grab at you, it begins getting closer to the edge.

"Someone shoot this thing!" You're starting to panic, unable to let go long enough to grab another knife.

Your bodies hit the edge, and you finally let go only to be caged in by the infecteds arms. It goes in for a bite, and you wrap your hands around its neck, holding it away the best you can. This thing is strong, teeth getting closer by the second. You're leaning half over the edge and your back cracks, which actually feels quite nice, but you're sure you'd enjoy it more if you weren't about to be breakfast.

Quick thinking, c'mon, where are you?

Bringing your leg up in the tight space between your bodies, you plant your foot on its chest and push, successfully getting its teeth away from you and-

And you're rolling over the edge. One hand barely latches onto the concrete wall, the rest of your body dangling over and you watch the infected looking down at you. Weird, the way it snarls and yells, but doesn't leap over or scratch at you or anything. You can hear shouting on the other side and the body falls limp, slipping over. As it falls, you twist your body so your shoulders hit the wall and the body moves right past you. Your arm is twisted painfully in the process, but you figure that's better than falling to your death, so. Two hands grab your slipping fingers and you reach up blindly, another set of hands helping you over.

"Thanks for the help guys," You say, voice dripping in sarcasm as Chan and Hyunjin move past you.

No one answers, staring over where you were just hanging onto dear life. Chan's shoulders are tense, hand holding the edge until his knuckles turn white. He's shaking his head and when Hyunjin looks at him, you see his mouth is wide open.

"I've never seen this many of them in one place," Chan speaks, and you join them.

"Oh," You gasp. "Oh my god."

Hundreds, if not thousands, of infected cover the highway running underneath the one you stand on, all heading in the same direction. The groaning you heard earlier comes not from the giant bridge, but from the bodies below, wailing and crying.

"Good thing we don't have to go down there, yeah?" Felix chimes in as the rest gather with you.

"Yeah," Chan says, eyebrows furrowed. "We need to keep moving."

---

notes ▪︎ so... continuing on foot, that'll go well, right? ...right?????

─── taglist (18+) : @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @manuosorioh @hanjisunglover @xxstrayland @puppyminnnie @hanjsquokka @kpopsstuffs @quokkabite @linosalwayslinos @reapers-lover @hyunjinslittlestar

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

hi jojo! i want to thank you for making your hcs and how much happiness it brings reading them everytime ❤️ i'm autoimmune i unfortunately caught a bad round of bronchitis this week and was very curious if it isn't too much trouble to ask, can you write for izana (in the good timeline) with a partner that gets sick really easy how he would be attempting comfort them during these times?

Ah thanks!!! Oh no, I hope you're feeling a bit better though and will recover quickly from the bronchitis! But here's what I think Izana caring for a reader who get's sick easily would be like!

Caring for someone doesn't come naturally to Izana, he's never really had to do it much before. And if it's being completely honest with himself there's not many people he would agree to care for. The list only really contains his siblings (Shinichiro or Emma tend to take those roles anyway), Kakucho (who seems to never get sick) and you.

But despite all that he tries his best in caring for you because he hates seeing you sad or sick (don't tell the others, especially Mikey or Ran).

Insists you rest and that he'll take care of everything himself, he'll pick up any medicines, tidy the house, cook etc. Will carry you back to bed if you try to help too.

Although he says he'll handle things by himself, this frequently involves him telling the other S62 members and Kakucho to come round so that they can also help with the cleaning/ cooking.

Also gets a bit overprotective of you during this time (even more the usual). One time when the S62 was helping out around the house, Rindou decided to play some music but it was a bit too loud. Izana nearly threw him out of a window for "maybe disrupting your rest" (he wasn't serious with that threat but he was annoyed).

Tries to make either your favourite foods or foods he think will help you. He isn't always the best cook but he tries his best.

Sings you songs on his guitar more often whenever your ill, he knows you likes it.

Takes time to relax with you too, he knows being stuck resting isn't all that fun so he'll spend time watching movies with you etc (he won't even complain if you pick something he hates).

Also takes time off of work to make sure you're ok (he leaves Kakucho in charge and one day Kakucho comes round with a bunch of made get well soon cards from the kids).

He doesn't show it or rather he tries not to but he worries about you a lot during this time.

Sometimes he'll ask Shinichiro or some of the others for advice, though he normally phrases it as if he's not asking for himself.

Encourages you to vent a bit if you want about being sick (Izana himself complains a bunch whenever he's ill). Will sit and listen to you if you want that.

Occasionally talks about sickness as if it's a fight (you need to kick that bronchitis etc).

And lastly, he seems to have 0 fear of getting sick himself when contagious illnesses are involved. Continues to kiss you, hug you, stay close to you etc. Says he'd rather be near you and risk it then stay away.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 | Crossed Lines

Some things are better left unsaid.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, dystopian AU, space/Sci-fi/cyberpunk-esque, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Violence, Drama, romance, adult, angst, potentially triggering content, mentions of prostitution, fluff??, injury, I'm sorry for this one don't hate me

Length: 3k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

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You never really thought of Jungkook as the jealous type- and maybe you're interpreting his foul mood entirely wrong too.

But you've got a feeling that his clear displeasure is mostly due to the very tall and very charismatic Alien who's been all over you ever since you woke up.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't need help eating her food, Jin." Jungkook growls, eyes a vibrant green with a little red swirling around sometimes, as he watches you on the lap of the tall Alien currently feeding you. Jungkook's arms are crossed and he honestly looks ready to tear someone's throat out- and while you're still learning what the colors of his eyes might mean, you're starting to somewhat connect certain colors with certain feelings.

"Pah, just let me enjoy this before you take her away again!" The man named Seokjin whines, pulling you a little closer. "I can't believe you found such a sweet thing.. you don't even want her, just leave her here with me!" He complains, and Jungkook's eyes turn a little hotter in color, orange burning bright as his anger seems to rise. Why that might be you're not sure- you don't understand why he's not letting you stay here either. Seokjin seems like a nice person, and Yoongi, a cat-like Alien who'd taken care of you while you were resting, told you that the three of them are all very good friends. So why did Jungkook suddenly change his mind?

"Shut up." Jungkook barks under his breath, turning his face away. "…she can stay if she wants to. Who cares." He mumbles more or less, and at that, your heart skips a little uncomfortably. In a way, you knew he wanted to get rid of you sooner or later- but to hear it too, makes it all the more real. Maybe deep down, that small hidden innocence in you had thought he was warming up to you- but maybe that was just your imagination after all.

So you shrug, and look down at your plate of food, shaking your head when Jin offers you another piece to eat.

"I can't believe that you're worse than me, Jeon." Yoongi says, shaking his head in disappointment. "That was mean, even for my standards." He mentions from his spot near the only window in the small metal shed Jin lives in, his tail swaying a little. "Humans are sensitive. You can't just say things like that." He says, before he adjusts his position, crossing his legs.

Jungkook however just scoffs, and refuses to look at you.

You truly want to say something, but your voice just comes out horribly strained, making you cough- so you just leave it, trying to clear your throat, as Seokjin holds the inhaler you got from Yoongi to your lips.

Only that the hand is.. tattooed?

One look upwards and yes, there he is- it's actually Jungkook who acted so fast, eyes a slightly stressed pale blue, as he carefully helps you use the plastic container with the medicine inside, face a mix of worry and annoyance. You just let him, for now- and decide that maybe, this is his actual issue. You're now sick, you're gonna use up a lot more resources, let alone the cost of your medicine and everything. You're no use for him, only baggage.

Jungkook sighs, sits back down before he puts the inhaler away into his canvas bag. "If she wants to stay, she can, I guess.." He says, crossing his arms again. "If she wants to come with me, she can. It's whatever." He huffs, and Yoongi sighs to himself, while Seokjin chuckles.

"Well, I guess that's as much of an invitation as you'll get, little thing." He shrugs, looking down at you.

And this time, you don't feel like running after Jungkook like a lost dog.

So you just quietly shrug, and eat the rest of your meal.

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You're still hiding in Seokjin's bedroom, upset and saddened by the fact that Jungkook is truly preparing to leave you behind, when you hear someone walk through the pearl curtain that disconnects the bedroom from the main living area of the little house. "Here." He mumbles, throwing something on the bed- a plastic box, a rubber band around it to keep it shut, you guess.

You don't react, but you hear him sigh, as he sits down on the mattress, bed dipping down a little under his weight. "At least look at it, so I know I didn't buy the wrong shit." He huffs, and you roll your eyes, before taking the scratched up box, pulling the rubber band from it. And inside-

-are two, different colored knitting needles, a small pair of scissors, and two balls of grey, thick yarn.

"So?" He urges, and you can hear him play with the keychain in his hand a little. Is he nervous? Or just impatient?

What is he really thinking about you?

Why did he buy this, if he didn't at least mildly care about you?

You turn around towards him, and tap his shoulder to gain his attention- which you get, as he turns a little towards you- clearly caught off guard when you hug him. You want to see something- you need to check if your instincts are correct with this.

And when his arm- admittedly rather awkwardly- wraps around you and pats your back, you get your answer.

So you get up, put your clothes and the plastic box into a bag given to you by Jin, and stand by the pearl curtain quietly, nodding outside.

"Are you sure?" He asks, not getting up yet. "Jin's a good guy. Yoongi visits regularly, and he's got a human partner. Knows all about human health." He explains. "I mean, the planet's climate sucks, but it's at least somewhat peaceful." He says, and you just roll your eyes, and cross your arms. "..guess that's a no." He sighs to himself, though you don't miss the warmth in his eyes as he gets up, and takes your bag from you, walking out to say goodbye to Yoongi and Jin- well, mostly Jin. Yoongi just.. quietly bumps his head against yours and Jungkook's, before he simply leaves.

But Seokjin? He goes in for the hug, and it's honestly a little funny how annoyed Jungkook seems at that.

"You'll have to stay in contact!" Seokjin whines. "I need to know she's okay, and that she eats well, and that she's not getting lonely, or sad, or-" He rants, and Jungkook groans, clumsily taking your hand in his to pull you closer.

"Yeah yeah whatever, I'll look after her just fine." He argues, before he turns with you to walk off- letting you wave to Seokjin for a bit, before he tugs on your hand. "Look ahead. You'll trip otherwise." He scolds, though he keeps holding your hand-

The moment you're both back on the ship, he immediately runs an entire scan of the system and Ship's interior- telling you that he doesn't trust the mechanics on this planet too much, and that he wants to make sure they didn't leave anything here that doesn't belong. What exactly he means by that you're not sure- but after noticing how he even physically searches your room for anything off, especially the camera up in the corner, you're starting to have an idea of what he meant by that.

and it feels oddly kind, the way he keeps you both connected with a surprising tender amount of strength.

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"Do you want to stay here or come with me?" He asks, and you shrug, taking a blanket from the bed with you to instead walk closer to him. "…I really made you clingy now, didn't I?" He sighs to himself, looking at you a bit annoyed- though the faint pink-ish hue of his eyes gives you hope that he's just trying to act tough, and not genuinely upset over the fact that you'd like to keep him company from now on.

If Yoongi was correct, Jungkook simply has trouble attaching himself to others- the cat alien had told you that he didn't have the greatest upbringing, and that it left him with permanent scars.

Scars that one might not be able to see, but they're still there.

"Alright, let's see.." Jungkook mumbles to himself, as he logs into his system's autopilot, taking over the controls as he reads through all the info flying past on the screen. It's impressive to you how quickly he can seem to soak up any information practically flying past him, and it shows you just how long he's probably been doing this.

Yet, now that you think of it, you're not actually sure what exactly Jungkook does for a living, besides selling cargo here and there. But then again, should you really question it? He's putting food on the table, and gives you a safe place to stay. Better not ask too many questions, you tell yourself.

So you instead sit down somewhere near the windows, studying the pictures of the faded paper instruction manual that came in the plastic box of knitting stuff- the language foreign to you, though some words seem to click in your mind. It doesn't seem too hard to do, and considering that you've tried it in the past, it's not that difficult to pick back up where you left off years prior.

And the entire time, you don't even notice Jungkook occasionally watching you, the sight of you happily occupied with your new present doing something special to him. After all, usually, to his kind-

gifting things is considered something only mates do for one another.

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"Hey- come here for a second." Jungkook says one morning, urging you a bit closer as you enter the command center where he already sits in his usual seat, though he doesn't seem as relaxed as he's been these past few days.

Your throat has been healing well, and the entire ship by now is filling with your little animal shaped knitting work- one better than the last, after Jungkook had picked up some other colors of yarn for you at one re-fuel stop. It's been a good handful of days now- and you feel like you're actually getting comfortable with the Alien. "I'll be turning course today. I'm.. gonna leave you with Jin for a while." He says, and you instantly furrow your brows in confusion, unsure what's wrong.

"Why?" You ask, voice still a bit raspy, but it at least doesn't hurt as much to talk anymore.

Jungkook just sighs, looking away. "It's not for long, just a few weeks. I'll pick you up before the seasons change-" He explains, but you won't have it.

"That doesn't answer my question." You say, clearing your throat after somewhat getting that small sentence out. He runs his hands over his face.

"It's.. urgh, fuck!" He groans out agitated, and it's honestly both funny and a little unnerving to see Jungkook so.. embarrassed.

"I'm-… It's mating season for my kind." He huffs out defeated, arms crossed. "And since you're a female, it's kind of.. distracting." He explains, and you take that info in for a second.

And Bolku people are a proud but reserved kind, only really staying in pairs, never in groups. But Jungkook doesn't quite fit the visual characteristics, apart from his eyes- so maybe he's a hybrid too?

"Oh." You simply answer, unsure what else to say. Well, you didn't really think about that- but yeah, you remember reading something about Bolku people's.. well, mating traditions, so to speak. Not really because you ever thought anything of it- it was just interesting to find anything to read back on earth, and when you stumbled upon a common book about foreign galactic humanoid variants, you read through it.

It's how you know that Seokjin must've been some sort of human-Shairo hybrid; with his tall body and caring nature, but otherwise rather human appearance. The short, thick and scaled tail gave him away, mostly, and you read in your book back on earth how his kind has a problem with gender in their kind. They're mostly male- females are incredibly rare to be born for some unknown reason.

What's interesting now however, is how the past few days and Jungkook's actions during them, change in nature to you. The gift of the knitting stuff. The blankets he kept bringing to your room. The way he'd cuddle you throughout the journey through Cryon- all of it suddenly feels odd to you now that you know he's near his kind's mating season.

Does that mean that those weren't acts of kindness? That you weren't making any progress at all? That he was just..

..acting on instincts?

"I can just stay in my room again for the time being." You shrug, and he notices the way your posture and tone change. He's become quite good at reading your body language and subtle hints here and there- be it the tone of your voice, or the way you avoid eye contact, or how you'd change topic if he was to talk about something that made you uncomfortable. And right now, it seems as if he said something that made you almost.. defensive. And he's not sure what.

"No, I don't want to.. lock you in there again." He shakes his head. "You're not a prisoner anymore. Or anything similar." He denies.

"Then what am I?" You ask, looking at him- and he can't help but feel a little called out by you.

"That doesn't matter." He responds, but that's not enough for you anymore. You've become bold- mostly because you're not scared of him any longer, and because he's slowly, unknowingly, nurtured your will to survive back to life.

"It does to me." You croak out, coughing right after, making him cringe as his eyes turn a concerned blue hue. But he knows not to try and do anything right now- you're on edge, and he feels as if he's arguing with a cornered animal right now, any wrong move or word enough to set you off.

"Then what do you want to be?" He asks instead, making you look at him with a gaze that just screams uncertainty.

You don't know what you want to be. Especially not what you want to be to him.

When you came onto his ship, you didn't care what happened to you. You'd given up, you were ready to take whatever was thrown at you- but now you actually want to live. You want to be alive, and most importantly, you want to stay with him, and stay on this ship, and stay in this little space where everything seems okay. The amount of safety you feel here has spoiled you at this point, causing you to feel protective over it.

You don't want to stay with Seokjin, no matter how sweet and kind he is. He isn't Jungkook, and he isn't this ship.

"I don't care!" You huff out at him, moving to sit in the middle of the control center, grabbing your blanket before you throw it over your head, and hiding underneath it as you sit down facing the large window, face barely exposed. "I'm staying." You growl to yourself, and Jungkook can't help the slight amusement tickling in his chest at the fact that you're starting to pick up on some of his own behaviors.

Though your growl is anything but intimidating. It's cute, but nothing dangerous at all.

"It's just for two weeks. Three at max." Jungkook sighs, turning on the autopilot before he walks closer, tip of his boot gently tapping your back. "Hey." He calls out, but you don't answer. "I'm talking to you."

"And I'm not." You respond, pulling the blanket close so he can't see you as he crouches down next to you to catch a glimpse. "You'll leave me there."

"I thought you wanted me to leave you?" He wonders in an oddly soft tone, but you can't help but feel as if this too is just his instincts, and not actually him.

"Shut up." You respond, and he laughs.

"You kind of sound like me." He tells you, sitting down in front of you with his legs crossed. "Doesn't fit you- so stop it." He argues, pulling on the blanket- but you got a steel hold of it. "Come on, stop being a brat-"

"No!" You bark out, scooting away from him a good bit.

"I'll pick you up again." He sighs. "Promise."

"Your promise is empty." You mumble, finally giving in as he manages to pull the edge of the blanket enough with his fingers to expose your face.

"How so?" He wonders, face clearly confused, and somewhat upset.

"Cause you said it!" You argue. "I'm distracting you because you're like- horny or whatever. That's not you. And when your.. mating season is over, you'll just.. leave me with Jin." You say, looking at the ground.

"How come you humans always get so horribly attached to things so easily?" He mumbles, as if he's mostly talking to himself- eyes distant as he looks at you, hands in his lap. "Attach yourself to Jin. Not me."

"Why?" You ask timidly, unsure what he's getting at. You're not even sure yourself what you're thinking of him. You don't know why you're so attached to him.

"Because he's.. a better fit." He shrugs. "He's nice. Knows human social norms, since he's partially human as well-"

"So are you though?" You ask, testing the waters, and the way he tenses up, eyes flashing a pale, unreadable color, gives you the answer you were looking for.

So he is a hybrid too.

Suddenly, his face seems angry, jaw clenched and tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he looks to the side, eyes a blazing red as he gets up and walks away. "I changed my mind." He says, tapping away on his control panel. "Go stay in your room or whatever. I don't give a shit." He growls, and for some reason, you suddenly feel guilty.

So you quietly leave, door hissing shut behind you-

before it clicks, small display near it offering only a single, pulsating message.

[Locked by Administrator]

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[bearieio]

ellie w. hcs :3

bc im seeing them everywhere and i need to put in my 2¢. thank you. (also not proofread :P)

⋆ biggest hayley kiyoko fan for like 3 years (the intro to ‘girls like girls’ was her ringtone when she was 14). would beg joel to take her to random record stores that they passed by just to see if they had any hayley kiyoko cds.

⋆ because of joel, she listens to a lot of 70s-90s dad rock. 

⋆ can’t drive for shit. like literally she’s not allowed to drive without her glasses

⋆ she needs glasses btw. she doesn’t wear them because she’s already too much of a loser. but when she does where them, you tease her endlessly about them. 

⋆ can and will sleep on the floor whenever prompted. no blankets, no pillows needed. just her and the floor.

⋆ isn’t allowed to drink any sort of energy drinks on account of a previous incident that had to do with about 3 cans of redbull and 2 large cans of the ‘Java Monster.’

⋆ isn’t allowed to own small pets (like gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, etc.) because she’d definitely forget about them. 

⋆ owns big dogs. great danes, newfoundlands, irish wolfhounds, mastiffs, st bernards, YOU NAME IT, SHE HAS IT (or has had it)

⋆ when she’s older, i feel like she’d be like one of those white people who has 192793999 dogs for no reason 

⋆ since her mannerisms are so much like joels, you guys argue playfully all the time about how things should be done, often bringing others into it too. 

“jesse, tell her!” he flips her phone screen around to reveal a very tired jesse, “it’s 1AM, ellie-“ 

“TELL HER!” 

⋆ i feel like at random times, she’ll just grab your boob(s). i don’t know why and you’ve never said anything about it, so she hasn’t stopped…… very handsy….

⋆ audibly goes “honk honk!” almost every time she gives ‘em a squeeze.

⋆ she’s a really sloppy kisser. not like boy-sloppy, but like the hot, messy, girl sloppy bc that sounds better and honestly i think her kisses would be the best.

⋆ she was one of those kids who’d eat dirt and find bugs all the time

because of this, she’s the designated bug killer/bug-getter-outter…. idk

⋆ she’s the worst drunk you know.

like literally sssoooooooooo messy oh my god. but you love her nonetheless :)

she’s soo clingy, and, touchy (like more than usual), but also much more emotional and sensitive than usual when she’s drunk or when she’s sick.

⋆ ellie tends to be quite difficult when she’s sick. BUT! you make it work bc you love her and she loves you :>

when you bring ellie her favorite drink from her favorite coffee shop, you literally have to fight her to be able to get out the front door. when you get up to serve her lunch, you’ve got to peel her off of you because she refuses to let you leave her side. when you go and get the medicine she says she doesn’t need…. you guessed it, she fights for you to stay in bed next to her.

“babe, what if i die right here, when you leave- like- BABE PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME-“ she bewails, crossing her arms and huffing at the sight of you leaving her.

⋆ when you catch her playing her guitar, she sometimes gets all shy and plays the wrong chords n stuff. 

“don’t LOOK! >:(” she says, gripping the body of her guitar, glaring in your direction.

“oh!- okay” you say, throwing your hands up in a playful manner, giggling. 

⋆ but the times where she’s not shy about playing in front of you, she’ll ask you if you want to play.

“do you uh- maybe wanna play? i could teach you” she suggests, gesturing toward the stringed instrument.

but then after, she’d tease you about your finger placement :(

“i said the fourth fret, girl, not the second, or, the third!” she says, in between laughs.

“well fourth from the top or the bottom?!” you scoffed, looking at her, still puzzled.

she knows your trying your best but it’s still fun to poke at you when she can >:)

constructive criticism is appreciated !!!

[dixonsgirl93]

Bad Day

(This is literally based off a Co-worker of mine who pisses me off almost daily. I imagined Ghost accidentally upsetting you while trying to teach you to be more assertive. The hug at the end is the most crucial part of this)

“You gotta give her a taste of her own medicine.” Simon grumbled, exasperated.

You sighed heavily. “I know. I’m just…not a confrontational person. At all.”

“Then let me teach you.” He takes a step back as if the two of you are about to spar.

“I don’t know…” You hesitate, already with a gut feeling this isn’t going to end well.

“Trust me.” He says and you do. “‘Blah blah blah I’m bossing you around’. How’s that?”

You smirk at his attempt. “You could be her twin.”

“Okay, so what would you normally say?” He asks, getting you back on track.

You shrug. “Just say yeah or something and walk away.”

His shoulders slump and he stares at you incredulously. You can’t see the rest of his face but you just know his expression says ‘are you serious?’

“You know, by doing that she just thinks it’s okay to keep talking to you like that.” He points out.

“I know. But it’s either that or I tell her to fuck off.” You fold your arms.

He frowns slightly, the mask moving with him. “Well…that won’t do.”

“I don’t know what else to say. I’m crap at these types of situations. I’m either passive or extreme.” You hold out your hands to emphasise your point.

He sighs and shuts his eyes tight for a moment. “Okay. Just start by giving her the same attitude back. Find a good moment when you need to ask her something. And don’t be passive when she responds with hostility.” He added as an afterthought, already predicting your response.

“Gosh. I can try.”

“Try now.” He gestures to you and sets his feet, again as if readying himself for a spar. “Go and…clean that up.”

You open your mouth to respond but stop and take second. What would be a good response? Something she says to you all the time? “Say please.”

“That’s good! Again-”

“I’m done. I’ve had a stressful enough day without more of this shit.” You turn to leave.

“Oi!” Simon calls. “Get back here.”

Something in you snaps as his harsh tone. Maybe it was the fact he’d never yelled at you like that before. Or maybe it was just the stress of the day had built up too much. Could have just been everything all together, bubbling up inside you like mentos in coke.

Tears spring to your eyes and fall quicker than you can blink them away.

“Hey.” Simon’s voice is softer. His footsteps approach you from behind. “I’m sorry. Come here.” He reaches out and steers you to turn around. He pulls you into his chest, his hand holding your head.

“I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry.”

[xjulixred45x]

If you don't mind me can I request male reader who like Akaza from Demon slayer with the Hazbin Hotel.

Bonus: respect woman.

Hello! Normally i would Say no bc My Requests are Closed but you're lucky that i'm in a good mood to write and also i am a fan of this Man✨ 😭

Thanks for the Request ❤️

(to the other Readers, don't take this as something usual, the Requests are still Closed, i'm just in the mood to write THIS for now)

Akaza! Reader in Hazbin Hotel

Genre: headcanons

Reader: male

Warnings: Reader is a fighter, violence(?), hell, slight change in Akaza story so its not a Copy-paste and make "more sense",idk, I MAKE THIS IN A RUSH OF ✨INSPIRATION✨SO ITS NOT PROFFHEAD!!

You were born and raised in the Edo era, in Japan. and it was a nightmare.

You lived in poverty all your life, practically alone with your sick father who could barely take care of himself, but he always tried to take care of you above all else.

You spent a lot of your life trying to take care of him back, but it was difficult because of money, you couldn't afford it. so you did the only thing you could think of: steal medicine.

Obviously many times this didn't turn out well, and they ended up catching you and taking you to be beaten and tattooed like a criminal, but it was the kind of life you led until your father died.

That was when you hit rock bottom, but you met certain people who helped you move forward. a martial arts master and his sick daughter (who reminded you a lot of your father).

And it was the time when you lived better, you took care of your teacher's daughter and you learned from him, you had a good life.

you and his daughter even fell in love!

everything had fallen into place in your life...

until conflicts broke out again.

You don't remember much about your last days of life, it was a cycle of going, killing whoever got in your way, returning with whatever you wanted from your group, and whatever followed...

You just wanted to go home.

but you died before that.

and just as you expected, after everything you had done wrong in your life, you ended up in hell.

It wasn't exactly like the hell you had imagined growing up, but it was definitely difficult to adjust, knowing that you were dead, in this hole of misery, far from them...

but you didn't waste your time. You discovered quite quickly that several of your physical abilities had stayed with you, so you took advantage of them and became a quite formidable demon.

You wouldn't say you were an Overlord, but you were definitely an anomaly to Hell's QUO status, a demon who had become powerful without the need for owning souls.

something very strange.

so many Overlords, feeling threatened, tried to go after you, only to never be seen again...

As for the Hotel issue, I think that Akaza! reader would be skeptical, I don't think he would have a problem offering himself as a test subject for the hotel because 1- there is Alastor, someone very strong, and 2- he has a small hope that the hotel will work and maybe, just maybe he can redeem himself and go. to heaven with his love and his teacher, what he loves most. although he wouldn't say the last thing out loud.

Speaking of relationships, Alastor and him can actually get along in a very ambiguous way, Alastor is not happy with someone who is so strong without even having souls of their own, so he is cautious, but not in a threatening way.

Although there is something these two have in common, THEY RESPECT WOMEN.

Alastor can definitely introduce him to Akaza! read several of his female friends to be more "social" and get possible blackmail material.

Alastor secretly knows of the possible motives behind why Akaza! Reader would like the hotel to work, he thinks he is naive, but he doesn't make fun, Alastor partly understands why he feels that way. leaves him alone in that sense.

...but it bothers him in every other way! using it as an armrest, innocuous phrases, crushing it with things out of nowhere, etc. He always has something up his sleeve to piss him off.

but they can ally if women get involved ;)

Charlie is so so so so so happy to have Akaza! reader as another participant alongside Angel and Sir Pentious! She constantly thanks him for his collaboration and tells him how much it means to her.

Lots of encouragement during the trust exercises! she realizes that Akaza! Reader is not very talkative, and although she does not force him to change, she "subtly" encourages him to be more open with the exercises.

Although that does not mean that she admits the fights, she tries to encourage Akaza! reader to find another way to get out his anger and energy in less destructive ways.

I think she would be the only one who knows through Akaza! reader why he wants the hotel to work, and she is SO MOVED by him because Reader wants to redeem himself and that gives him a lot of motivation to do more exercises.

Even if is sometimes a double-edged sword because she feels pressured not only by wanting to help her friends, but also by Akaza's cute motive! reader.

Akaza! reader is very protective of Charlie even if she is the princess of hell, he is like a bodyguard! or a very loyal pitbull. Charlie finds it endearing (but please don't rip that demon's head off please---)

Vaggie is scared of Akaza at first! reader for his aggressive nature.

She is afraid that he will end up directing that destructive energy towards them if he is very angry, so she is very cautious at first.

but eventually she can relax more and more with him as she realizes that (at least with women) he's not going to explode on anyone who doesn't deserve it. and that in fact he is a good man.

sparring together! Vaggie feels kind of bad that he doesn't have a gun, but is surprised at how tough he is.

If she finds out his reason behind going to the hotel, she supports him a lot in his journey of redemption, more than before, she empathizes with him.

They both have similar motives.

Vaggie really appreciates when Akaza! reader defends the female staff against Angel's out-of-place comments. she may even allow him to hit him.

You two are the main people in charge of protecting the hotel.

Let's be honest, Angel dust at first was just "flirting"/sexually harassing Akaza! reader until he beat him up and never did it again.

He thought he was simply bitter about life until he remembered that on one occasion he told him that "he was taken" and he didn't take it so personally.

After the duet with Husk, he went directly to apologize to him and they were on bad terms.

Angel occasionally likes to prank him like everyone else in the hotel, but he's considerably less annoying with Akaza! reader because he knows what he is capable of.

When he eventually finds out why he is "taken" and why someone like him is in the hotel, he can't help but empathize with him a lot (from his sister in heaven), and tries to be his "Husk" at his lowest moment. .

Even if technically Akaza!reader is stronger than him in every way, he takes care of him in his own way, watching his drink, not being robbed, etc.

Angel is definitely not used to so much respect when it comes to his gender identity, which is why he respects Akaza a lot! reader.

They generally start off on the wrong foot but manage to be friends.

Husk likes Akaza! reader, simply because it gets on Alastor's nerves and because he knows that he won't kick the ass of someone who doesn't deserve it. He knows everyone is safe with him.

He definitely knows about his reason for being in the hotel and pities him, respects his privacy a lot after that and doesn't let him talk drunk.

Husk may get to have his "loser baby" moment with Akaza! reader but in a platonic way, helping him when it is especially difficult to stay away from violence.

They can even have a father-son relationship, Husk is very similar to Akaza's teacher! reader in many ways EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING so Akaza! reader feels comfortable with him.

she definitely tells him things about her past as Overlord to entertain him.

Sir Pentious at first was TERRIFIED of Akaza!reader, his reputation was as a tough guy who went after evil people and Pentious (having his poor self-image) thought he would kill him as soon as he saw him.

but fortunately it was not like that!

but he was definitely avoiding it for DAYS before he heard from the others that Akaza!reader wasn't that bad and was actually quite nice. to give him a chance.

and Pentious did just that. and he was VERY surprised.

Akaza! reader has had to dismantle several of Sir Pentious's evil machines using his enormous strength, and although Pentious was heartbroken to see his machines destroyed, he was also VERY surprised by Akaza!reader's capabilities, even giving me more things to do. break and test their strength (imagine this pair getting to know the Rage Rooms).

Pentious Minnions occasionally go to Akaza! reader when P. is not there, which is fun to see because Akaza!reader would try to get away from the Minions that come after him like ducks.

Akaza! reader clearly notices Pentious's crush on Cherri, and encourages him to do something now that he has time.

(Can you imagine Akaza! reader's Koyuki becoming friends with Pentious in heaven? It would be Epico).

Mononeuronal pair.

Niffty is strange.

but I can definitely see Akaza! reader protecting it constantly. so Niffty likes him. But I wouldn't really say they are friends.

In general, everyone has some kind of respect for Akaza! reader. They hope you can reach your goal.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Again, this DOES NOT MEAN that orders are open again! I'm just taking a break and deciding what things to write and what not to. thanks for the request ✨❤️

[beansmack2021]

All For You (Human!Alastor x Daughter! Reader)

TW: Implied cannibalism, mentions of murder, blood, mentions of snakes, mentions of vomit

Alastor would be a great father, even with his serial killer tendencies

It was raining a bit. Whenever it rained, Y/N's father insisted that the two sit in the living room and listen to the radio together. He'd read the paper while she'd finish yet another novel.

Alastor was a kind and loving father. Y/N would come home from school to venison on the stove top. He'd plant a kiss on her forehead and she'd put her schoolbag in her room before returning to the table for dinner.

She'd never suspected that there was a monster wearing her father's skin.

She was feeling under the weather, her skin hot to the touch. She'd gone to see the school nurse, who told her that she should go home early. Y/N stumbled along, dizzy and warm, and was short of breath by the time she'd finally made it home.

She opened the door, expecting to see her father on the sofa, reading the paper and listening to the radio. She dropped her bag on the floor with a loud thud. Her father wasn't on the sofa. He was on his knees, on the floor, carving up a human carcass.

He looked up at her, smile never once leaving his face. "Hello, dear! You're home early." He stood up, hands still bloody, and walked over to the sink. He scrubbed at his palms with soap, dried them on a dishrag, and walked over to where she still stood, staring open-mouthed at what looked to be the dead body of the man that lived down the street.

"Daddy, what... what is this?" She didn't flinch as Alastor squatted a bit so their faces would be more level.

"Your cheeks are awfully rosie, darling. Are you feeling alright?" Y/N shook her head. Alastor put his palm to her forehead and frowned. "Seems you have a fever. Straight to bed with you, young lady. I'll make some soup for dinner."

How could he not acknowledge the scene his daughter had walked into? He'd pretended that everything was completely fine, nothing out of the ordinary.

Alastor ushered her down the hallway, to her bedroom, and tucked her into bed. He put his hand to her head again, and she couldn't help but close her eyes and sigh with relief at how cold his palms felt. "Would you like me to bring you a damp cloth, dear?"

Anything to get him away from her. She decided, in her sickly haze, that she wasn't well enough to fight him off. She needed to bide some time. She needed to seem unbothered by what she'd seen.

Alastor stood from the edge of her mattress and went to the kitchen, where she could hear the water running. He came back, put the washcloth on her forehead, and told her he'd be back later with medicine and her supper.

She nodded and hummed. She wanted desperately to stay awake, to stay conscious so that she could be aware of whatever her father might do, but she couldn't help slipping into unconsciousness.

When she woke up, it was darker outside. She felt a shiver down her spine and pulled the cloth from her forehead, dropping it on the floor next to her bed. She coughed hoarsely and heard a knock at the door before Alastor slipped into the room.

"Hello, darling. How are we feeling?" Y/N stayed silent, not sure she could trust herself enough not to say "terrified to be in the same room with my murderer father."

"Well, I brought you some soup. It's vegetable broth and ground meat." Y/N had the briefest thought slip through her mind that her father might be trying to serve her the man that she'd seen on the ground earlier and felt sick again.

"Daddy, I'm gonna be sick," she managed to rush out. Alastor quickly grabbed the pail by her bedside and held it up for her. She threw up into the bin and teared up a bit as her father soothed her. He was so good to her, how could he be such a terrible monster? How could her father be a killer?

"I don't think you're quite ready for my soup, dear. Maybe it's time for some medicine."

Y/N nodded, watching her father leave the room, and realized this might be her one and only chance to escape and tell someone what her father has done. She threw her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to sit upright. She wanted to throw up again, but she needed to get out and her father would hear her retching, run in and stop her.

She stumbled down the hall and through the back door. She took off running into the woods that surrounded her home, feeling worse by the minute as her head pounded and her weak lungs took in air. She just needed to make it through the woods and to the morning.

She suddenly heard her father call out to her into the open and air and her blood went cold. She knew he'd follow her. She knew he'd know her plan. She wasn't just running anymore. She was being chased.

Her head was throbbing now, and her feet were cut open by sharp stones that littered the ground in the forest. She could hear twigs snapping behind her and knew that her father was gaining on her. She risked a glance back and saw him less than one hundred feet away.

"Y/N! Dear, you're not well! Please!"

Y/N faced forward and realized too late that she was coming up on a massive upended root. She fell forward, landing on her forearm. She screamed as she felt a bone snapping.

"Y/N!" It was odd, really. Finding out that her father was a murderer had absolutely ruined Y/N, but she didn't expect him to care for her when she was injured while trying to tell the world his crimes.

She hadn't stopped screaming before she felt the snake bite her ankle. Her father finally caught up to her, and she gasped in pain. She could feel her throat closing.

"Da-Daddy. Daddy, help. It h-hurts."

Alastor pulled the young girl into his lap, rocking her as tears filled his eyes.

"Baby girl, why did you run? You know I'd never hurt you."

She clawed at her throat as she could feel it closing. She was running out of time, and Alastor knew it.

"I did it for you, Y/N. All of those people. They were bad. I was making the world better for you. My baby. I love you, so so much. Please don't leave me."

Y/N's vision blurred and darkened, and she tried to croak out an "I love you", but nothing came out. The last thing she heard before her eyes closed for good was the sound of a gun firing from close by.

[yannaryartside]

SYDNEY'S PART

THE ANALOGY OF THE PARTNER WITH ADDICTION

I just realized this parallel, and I have questions and feelings.

This second scene was one of the most frustrating moments for me, and that is saying a lot. It made me realize the crucial factor that could contribute to Sydcarmy not working despite the underlying feelings and connection.

The scene is obviously about how Sydeny feels guilty for not being able to stand to Carmy and make him stop the chaos. Maybe is also about feeling sad because she doesn't think that he wants to change for her, because if that were the case, he would have done it already. He has verbalized that intention and always, always, leaves her alone and behind (It is hard to keep with you sometimes).

I have been wrestling with the theory that Carmy's and Syd's relationship is acting as an analogy for an addict and their romantic partner. I have been reading this book: Loving someone in recovery. I still need to finish it, but it has given me some ideas. More extended meta-analyses on this subject are coming up. But I wanna concentrate on what the scene is hitting at (I miss ao3).

Notice in Brigade, the woman also says, "until the chemistry changes.", then in the very next scene, you have Sydney decipher a recipe just by chemistry logic, leaving Carmy impressed, and right after, carmy puts Sydney in charge of the restaurant. The clues are all there.

Also, notice how the woman at AA refers to the abuse of substances, but in Carmy's case, it also means abuse in the literal sense, verbal, psychological, and physical abuse.

The show has many scenes in which Sydney treats Carmy's issues with compassion and a firm hand.

"I don't want to be an asshole" "Don't be" aka: I know you know what is right and wrong despite feeling like shit, don't let it get over you.

She keeps her cool while Carmy makes impossible demands and screams. She helps Tina with her dish and completes the task without ever insulting or yelling back at anybody. The toxic techniques that Carmy learned that worked in the culinary industry, she refuses to accept as the norm. She is a chef Terry.

Finding the positive in the worst circumstances, aka, saying Cicero "You are here" or encouraging Richie and the staff. Even reviewing Carmy's recipes with patience and humor

"Is hard to keep with you sometimes' is key word here sometimes, aka: "because the problem is your issues, not you. You are a good person who is deeply hurting, but your actions have consequences for me and the people around you".

The thing is, if we are gonna talk about a partner with addiction, we need to establish the problem (the trauma) and the drugs. I remember watching a movie about addiction, a nurse saying, "Drugs are never the problem (for an addict), they are the solution.

So, the problem (the trauma)

The drug (solution)

You already know my theory that Claire is the equivalent of painkillers/anesthesia. A shallow but pleasing relationship that is always available to attend to your flaws without ever being actual medicine. Because to get better, painkillers are never enough.

BACK TO SYD

Syd really doesn't believe she has a say in what Carmy wants, (God she even believes she is not what Carmy wants, because he wants Claire, that is what it seems to her) just right before this dialogue, she asks him "Do you want me to say something?", from reading the book, it really reminded me of a partner feeling abandoned when the addict would resource to their drug of use to feel good or set back to old habits. That would leave the partner frustrated, depressed, and angry.

To be fair, the fact that Carmy is his boss should be added to the equation. They cannot even be called friends, so why should Sydney say something? Carmy is 24/7 in defense mode, saying things like "You don't have to say it, I already know."

He offered Syd equal partnership, but she didn’t get it. If they had been equal partners she definitely has the power to say something. But she didn’t take the offer, maybe because she suspected (or feared) they would never be on equal ground.

THE KEY QUESTION IS, WHAT DOES SYDNEY SAY?

I am genuinely curious about this. Is Syd (or her leaving) supposed to be a wake-up call to Carmy? That he fucked up something that brought him genuine joy and connection because Syd knew the real him, while Claire liked Logan and Carmy's brokenness? The way Claire would enable him in his bad tendencies? How is he gonna realize all that?

Sydney needs more emotional resources when it comes to conflict resolution. So far, her techniques have been using patience and love (water) against toxicity and bad patterns (fire). There is definitely a need for that. That is what turned everybody around and helped them become their best selves. But it has a toll. And she started the season with "I don't know what the fuck to do right now" and ended the season without a solution. Maybe walking away is the solution.

SYDNEY'S PART

What could this mean for Syd? Sydney may confront Carmy or not. I guess we will have to see.

[noparadiseinthis]

This is the first time I've posted here and it's also the first time I've written in English. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles.

How I feel when I see you right in front of me

Spencer Reid/fem!reader

Warnings: mention of previous drug addiction, mention of suicidal thoughts, mention of the reader's mother's cancer (sorry, it's for the plot), angst (I think)

Summary: Spencer has a new girlfriend. You're everything he could wish for. Unfortunately, you doesn't know about his previous "habit" and leaves something in plain sight. Is Spencer strong enough?

Words: 614

For Spencer, you're more than he deserves at any time in his life, but especially at times like this. Staring at the small tablet in front of him, Spencer knows he should have told you when things started to get serious, but he couldn't. He couldn't see the look in your eyes. He couldn't see the look in your eyes. He couldn't see the look of disappointment on your face when you found out you were seeing an addict - a former addict.

At least that would have avoided the situation. When you told him you'd buy your mother's medication and leave it at his house until you picked it up later, he didn't take much notice. He didn't think to ask what medicine she was taking. It seemed so obvious now. What else could a woman with cancer be prescribed?

Now Spencer looked at the morphine tablets as if they were his salvation or his worst enemy. Remembered all too well the feeling, the lethargy, the anxiety that itched under his skin when the effect wore off and he had to inject again. Morphine and Dilaudid weren't exactly the same thing, but they were close enough for her mind to flood with memories. For his skin to itch again. His arm was red and scratched, with perfect marks from the path his nails had traveled.

It's been so hard, Spence, you cried into his chest one night. Caring for a sick mother was enough to bring anyone down, he knew that more than anyone, which was why he resisted that tug on his flesh that led him to pick up a tablet. Just one, she won't notice. You didn't need him to become a burden in your life. You deserved someone better, someone worthy. Someone who didn't look at your mother's medicines as if they were a feast.

Getting sober was a long and arduous process, which he thought about interrupting several times. Now and then, when it got too hard, he thought about stopping something else too. His life. He never wanted to enter that spiral again. He couldn't throw it all away.

Spencer couldn't do many things, but it was still so easy. Reach out, take one of them, and put it in. Would such a small dose still have an effect after so long? Maybe he could try.

He grabbed his hair, forcing himself to think of you, of your proud smile every time he started telling you random facts about the least interesting subjects, but you listened anyway, with love in your eyes. A love he didn't deserve.

Sitting on the sofa, Spencer's hands drummed on his thighs. He didn't even blink anymore, staring at the morphine in front of him. The moment his fingers moved of their own accord, testing the texture of the table next to his enemy of the moment, the door to the living room opened.

"Spence, are you home? I've come for the medicine"

He had never felt so relieved to hear your voice, and immediately withdrew his hand, still horrified at the fact that he had almost reached her. Almost destroyed everything.

When you approached him, Spencer forced himself to form the most genuine smile he could manage, hugging you tightly.

"I love you," he whispered against your temple.

I love you and I'm not strong enough. Over his shoulder, Spencer was still looking at the pills. Wondering if he'd be able to hold back next time. Wondering what you'd say if you knew.

"I love you too," you said when you came out of his embrace, smiling fondly as you held your boyfriend's face in your hands.

That didn't help him.