#maybe a shove but thats the extent of it

[stevethehairington]

im gonna be real — this author did Not get tommy h right. not at all. she made him out to be like the ring leader, the Big Bad Bully that starts shit AND finishes it, but like. that's not?? who he is??? he's a follower, not a leader. he followed steve, trailed after him like a lost puppy, and when steve decided being king wasn't his thing, tommy didn't step up to fill in his shoes — he moved on to billy. he became billy's shadow and did what billy said. also, as far as i remember (and i could be wrong, its been a hot sec since ive rewatched), tommy never got physical with anyone like that; he never threw a punch. so the way this writer is characterizing him, as this bloodthirsty, violently angry guy who beats up on freshmen and keeps beating up on them long after they've been seriously injured,,,, thats,,,, not it. that's not tommy.

[rin-and-jade]

Guys, did you know that alters still and will form/split from little T's and Micro T's? Well now you do!

Whenever you are living your life, doing your day, with no recurrence of childhood trauma for a good while.. but you still seem to have new peeps? Yet you don't know why?? Fret not as i tell you some, although not an extensive list of reasons such as;

The Lil' T, things that aren't as severe as the Big OG Trauma but still enough to waver you:

Financial issues

Relationship conflicts (hostility, or inconsistent emotional support)

Having debilitating/chronic health issues (be it physical or mental)

Neglect, victim of harrasment/bullying, invalidation and etc (in mild forms, clarification on below)

The Micro T, that are capable to annoy you like a fly, though you still have a limit to these type of T's:

Working a job with high demands, or a stressful environment

Chasing a deadline (and not just this once)

Bad triggers

Involved in arguments often (aha, i know you still think about it)

Now you're asking, "what should i do then, Jade?" and because you need some prompts (tips), here you go:

Relaxation techniques: when you feel like you're going to explode (or something lit up the fuse recently) then its logical to blow the fire out before it can actually explode. Things like having a warm shower, taking care of yourself, or some time off to wind down for a moment will help.

Regulating feelings: antsy? mad? upset? or "dshsdfhgjfds"? Instead of shoving the feelings away, please let yourself feel it, acknowledge that you are currently feeling and understand why it happened, what's the cause, talk it out to someone to feel better but yelling inside or writing in the private server also works.

Outlets: If you feel like writing down isn't enough/helpful, then maybe doing art, crushing some empty cans, or going to your trusty support group will do just fine.

Therapy: got money but not people? Do yourself a favor and try it, you'll learn lots of coping mechanisms, plus you'll have support and someone to talk to so thats a big win.

Mindset: Having an accepting and self-supporting thoughts are way better than devaluing and adding extra blames and faults as it perpetuates the cycle of stress and pressure, so why not go easy on yourself from now on?

I know you might think that its not severe enough, its not bad enough, but from now one you have to think differently, no matter how big or small, it is still stress, and when stress builds up all those things happen. (to top it off with other issues such as bad internal communication and brain fog) And it make sense because the severe ones are enough to form new peeps, same goes for the tiny ones but are consistent, okay?

I personally struggle with this LOTS even if traumas from the past aren't happening again yet i still have subsystems and all, and after a good while of practicing, it now barely happens. Hope this is also helpful for you guys since the previous post about dissociation was a hit!!! Click here to see it

Edit: it came to my attention that i forgot to clarify that yes, harassment, bullying and etc as it’s own severe form and can be classified as the OG Trauma, though there are minor forms especially in bullying where it’s extents from calling names and other stuffs that aren’t as harmful in a physical form.

- j

[southernbluebellereader]

Could I request the 141 taskforce x reader with skin problems like eczema or psoriasis. If not maybe a x reader thats self conscious about their vitiligo

Little Butterfly

A/N: Hi Bestie! Thank you for this! Both my mother and I have psoriasis (mine's more limited to my scalp). But I'll include vitiligo as well. I'll do my best! Side note, I started writing something, but I overcomplicated it, so here is this. I'm sorry if it sucks lol

Master List (tag list at the bottom)

Task Force 141 (Price, Simon, Johnny, Kyle) x GN! Reader with Psoriasis & Vitiligo

Warnings: skin conditions; self-conscious; a sprinkle of angst; a sprinkle of fluff; and a whole lotta love; PLATONIC; SFW)

General Description of Appearance: Vitiligo patches on their temples, kinda looks like little (butterfly) wings, the rest is mostly on their back. Plaque Psoriasis is spread throughout their body (covers about 10% of their body, localized on their scalp, chest, and hands).

Captain John Price

The only one who knows the extent of psoriasis and vitiligo, because he's El Capitán.

Nicknamed you "Butterfly"

You hated that.

Stopped calling you that when you made a face.

He's the first to know when you have a flare up so you can spend the day resting, taking a saltwater bath, etc.

Has heard the words, but doesn't know squat shit about psoriasis or vitiligo, but it scares the shit out of him when you're out in the sun.

Always makes sure you got sunscreen, makes sure he has a bottle of SPF 75 on him and makes sure the rest of the team has the same.

Took way too long putting sunscreen on your back because he was looking at your vitiligo.

"Captain are you done yet??"

"o-Oh yeah, I'm done, sorry."

Helps you put ointment on your scalp

Got scared as hell when he saw you shed dead skin.

Gets on to you for picking on your skin, but is very much intrigued by it.

Keeps the rest of the team at bay in case they ask about your whereabouts or get onto you with nicknames or even ask you about your psoriasis.

Reads more about it. Probably knows more about it more than you do at this point, like Johnny.

Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley

Like Captain Price, doesn't know squat shit about vitiligo or psoriasis

No. He genuinely doesn't know what either of those words mean until you asked him if y'all could stop by one of the nurse's stations to pick up some meds and overheard you talking to the nurse about your psoriasis.

He watched as you showed the nurse your hands and the back of your ears, seeing little red patches on them. He made a mental note of it, but didn't ask, despite his curiosity.

Noticed that you'd not show up to certain (de)briefings, or trainings. Didn't think of it at first, then asked Price about it, who just said not to worry about it.

Keeps calling you "Birdy" - also stopped when you made a face. Gives death glares that shoot lasers when someone else nicknames you anything remotely related to a bird, insect, or other winged creature.

Got really worried when he caught you in the gym alone and he saw the rest of your vitiligo and more of your psoriasis.

"Y/N, are you ok? Go to the doctor now."

"W-What, why?"

He pointed at your skin, "Doctor. Now."

"Are you serious? It's my psoriasis, Simon..."

"Your w-what?"

"Psoriasis." His eyes widened when you showed him up close. Then turned around and showed him your back, "Vitiligo. The medicine I picked up the other day is for my psoriasis."

Still confused. You briefly explained what they were and a lightbulb went off in his head.

Again still confused, but was more alert of how you behaved regarding the two, especially your psoriasis.

Shoved his bottle of sunscreen in your face that he got from Price when he knows y'all are going to spend a lot of time outside.

Barely lets you go outside when y'all are in Las Almas without getting on to you.

Sgt. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Knows exactly what psoriasis is, has a cousin that has it, so he's very familiar with it. But doesn't ask any questions.

Gives you weird ass advice about how to deal with it because he doesn't think the medicines you take for your psoriasis will actually help.

Like Price, freaks out when you shed dead skin

Unlike Price and Simon, does not call you a nickname and is ready to fight if someone looks at you sideways

Guard Dog

Will put sunscreen on you without you asking

Laughs at you when you get mad at him

"Yer skin is your biggest organ, Lad/Lassie, need to protect it."

If and when he accompanies you to pick up your ointments, he'll argue with the nurse or doctor to make sure you get the right one or that it's too strong, to it's not wrong enough.

Like he's ready to fight the doctor about it.

When y'all are bored, you let him color in the little vitiligo patches on your back - think "Elmer the Patchwork Elephant" by David McKee

Sgt. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Also has no clue what either skin condition is, but is respectful and says nothing.

Caught you having a flare up and dragged you to the nurse, then felt bad when both you and the nurse scolded him,

Literally has no clue what to do - thus making you feel even more stressed out, which freaks him out even more

both of you are stressin

freaking out

Price has to come in and calm both of y'all down

Price put Kyle in a time out while he makes sure you're ok

Gets a booklet from Price to learn about psoriasis.

Apologizes, and asks a lot of questions and makes sure you're ok, especially when you have flare ups.

Still gets freaked out.

Does not want to help you with your ointment, but will watch when Johnny or Price helps you

Asks way too many questions

Thinks your vitiligo is cute - accidentally called you his little giraffe and Simon and Johnny nearly shot lasers out they eyes while Price covered your ears.

Kyle knows not to call you any nicknames. Doesn't even think it.

Like the others, will shot lasers out his eyes if anyone even thinks about calling you a nickname.

Literally thinks you're made of glass and sometimes forget you're a whole ass soldier.

Anyways.

Everybody:

Eventually

Against your will, but you just sigh and accept it

Your nickname will be "Butterfly"

Price will call you his/the team's "Little Butterfly" - we all know you're his Little Butterfly

Johnny and Kyle will call you "Fly" to mess with you

Simon will smack the back of their heads.

You are "Butterfly"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @galagcica @sweetybuzz25 @wisedinosaurpolice @itsasecrets-things @ronbon @lieutenantlashfaz @piper570 @shuttlelauncher81 @thanksbutno98 @gabriellathegreat @kult6 @loadedberetta @sarahs-secrets2 @whore4dilfs @addy3114 @ollie71526483 @blueoorchid

[youngpettyqueen]

Oooh, now I wanna hear more about your interpretation of Potter. (I don’t like him in comparison to Henry, tbh. It’s like you said: they were trying to soften the anti-military stuff, bringing him in.)

alright ok so let me preface this by saying Potter is definitely not meant to be read this way but this is how I personally interpret him. gonna put it under a cut cause its gonna get long maybe

Potter is an old warhorse who's been in the military since he was 15 years old. so when im reading his character, im reading him as someone who's been living and breathing military propaganda for so long that at this point in his life- his third war- he just doesnt know any other way to be and to an extent he isnt willing to be any other way

what I mean by that is Potter is firmly anti-war, but he is not anti-military. does he think the military is a perfect system? no, he's aware its flawed, but he still aligns himself with it. he still respects it, and expects others to respect it, and will get upset when they dont. he lets other characters- namely Hawkeye- get away with a lot of anti-military sentiment and definitely picks his battles (sometimes, not always), but he still clearly has a problem with anti-military sentiment. this is often narratively framed as him teaching other characters lessons, and bringing in the feeling of "well, not everyone in the military is bad" which is just. not the vibe

I dont think Potter knows any other way to be. he's been in this system for decades, since he was 15 years old. he's been living and breathing military life that entire time, through three different wars. this has been the vast majority of his life. im not calling this, like, brainwashing, but I dont think its a stretch to say his stance on and attitude towards the military is the result of having literally grown up in it during a time where military propaganda was being shoved down everyone's throats. in this way he's a victim of it. does that excuse his actions and behaviour? no, not at all. its a reason, but not an excuse. at the end of the day he's a grown man and made his decisions

I also think Potter doesnt want to be any other way. he doesnt want to change his stance on the military, and I think that lines up with what the reading of him is supposed to be, but with my interpretation its less like. in the way the show softens its anti-military stance, where youre supposed to see through Potter that not everyone in the military is all bad and therefore he shouldn't want to change, and its more about how Potter just wouldnt want to face that this system he's been raised in is in fact horrible, and that he has been complicit in it

Potter as he's presented in the show is supposed to represent that not everybody in the military is all bad. this is where he fails as a character, and where I take massive issue with the choices made in his writing. my interpretation of him still keeps true to his stance on the military, because I think its important to do so, but I definitely do read into it in an anti-military way which was definitely not the point. it really boils down to how they made him anti-war but pro-military, when I dont think there's really. a difference. to be anti-war is to be anti-military, and to be anti-military is to be anti-war. you cant have one without the other, so you cant hate one but not the other. I wouldnt usually read so much into a character in a way that clearly wasn't the intention, but with Potter is really just cant help it, for the reasons listened above

I want to really stress here that when I say I love Potter, im not saying I think he's free of flaws. I think he's a deeply flawed character and thats what I love about him. my issues with him come from how the narrative treats him, and how his introduction ushered in a softening of the anti-military stance I loved so much in MASH. had the show approached him from the angle my interpretation is coming from, I think it would've been fascinating. I think there could've been a deeply devastating arc involving Potter having to face that it isnt just the war, its that the system he's based his beliefs and morals on is horrible and corrupt. I think it would've been fascinating to watch him struggle through that, and see where he ended up. I think it would've made him more sympathetic, and could've provided really interesting commentary on military propaganda and its effect on Potter's generation, and the generations after that continued to grow up in war

this got long but yeah. im well aware this isnt how Potter is meant to be read, its just how I read him. I completely get why people dont like him, especially compared to Henry. even as someone who really really loves him, I still dont like the narratives that often surround him. still, its important to me in my readings that he's not absolved of his flaws or any less responsible for his own negative traits, which is why while my interpretation does place him as a victim of military propaganda and the military system, he is still responsible for his own behaviours and actions without a doubt, and why I make a point to say that I dont think he actually wants to change. part of what makes Potter so interesting to me are these flaws, I just. really wish the show had treated them as flaws

[reverse1999fics]

the storage issue is a bit weird since my game barely changed in terms of storage size - if you have an older android you could just get an SD card to extent storage space but if its apple then maybe check individual apps (usually social media and other apps you frequently use) if they have a "clear cache" option. Deleting and reinstalling apps would do this automatically but maybe thats too much of a hassle

if you already knew about and tried these options then im sorry for coming off as a bit patronizing </3 but i hope it helps a bit

I appreciate it!! At the start of my day I deleted the game and tried reinstalling it, but my Internet connection was very limited because I was out all day. I thought when I got back home I'd be all okay but apparently not.

I've got more than enough space to download the game, but for some reason whenever I try to install it again it tells me I don't have any space and that I've got to delete my very limited selection of apps. I've been looking into getting more storage or just a new phone in general recently anyways; so if push comes to shove right?

It could be because I've got an older-ish android. I've had my current phone for about 3-4 years.

It's extremely frustrating because currently I spend most of my free time playing Reverse: 1999, it brings me a lot of comfort and to be unable to play- especially when one of my favorite characters is out- sucks major, but I'll figure out a way. I know there are some people who post the event story on platforms such as YouTube, it's not quite the same as playing through the event and reading the story upfront and actually experiencing the game and the event but again if push comes to shove.

Today's just been stressful. Anyways, I hope all Tooth Fairy wanters turned into Tooth Fairy havers!!

[irrealisms]

1 for the ask game, for every fandom in your tumblr about...!

the character everyone gets wrong

tolkien: tough one. honestly, i feel like due to the nature of the fandom most people have defensible readings of most characters, even if they're not my own? to the extent tht people get characters wrong it's mostly by not thinking abt them very much! I'm inclined to pick Galadriel, though, bc she's also in LotR and so you get LotR fans thinking they can speak to first or second age galadriel, and then u get silm fans overcorrecting and ignoring third age galadriel entirely, and ofc there's the various Sexist Archetypes she gets shoved into by virtue of Being A Woman. actually a Lot of the women in tolkien are characters ppl get wrong a lot. elwing! míriel! indis! idril! lúthien! niënor! haleth! And So On Forever And Ever. this is again mostly due to Simply Not Thinking About Them Very Much tho

wktd: tbh the fandom gets the wktd girls pretty solidly. no real notes here. benefits from being a small fandom for a game with Three characters all of whose issues are pretty spelled out for you & constitute the central plot.

glowfic: im gonna be honest i do not feel confident to speak for other ppl's characters and state what ppl get right/wrong..! like idk man maybe im the one getting them wrong. ppl mostly dont like... write fic or make headcanons for each others glowfic in a way where the author isnt involved in having opinions about it? so if someone was mischaracterizing a glowfic character idk how i would know rly

hannibal: all of them @_@ no one understands this show like i do and it's a perpetual frustration... im gonna throw out abigail as my answer tho bc she sooooo often gets reduced to like, part of the murder family, which ignores soooooo much of her storyline and how much she did not (uncomplicatedly) want that. her relationship with will is So So Complicated but ultimately she likes freddie more than she likes will in some ways! and at least back when i was in the fandom ... ppl dont get that or just treat it as like, a flaw or misunderstanding to be corrected.

tma: ooooo this is a tough one. honestly the fandom was big enough that it's hard for me to say No One in the fandom got characters & in a lot of cases there was the question of like, does the fandom not understand X or do i just not seek out very many fics abt X... e.g. i havent read any tma fic that got georgie very well but also i havent read any georgie-centric tma fic! kind of a skill issue on My part rly!

mcelroy + polygon content: oh this is a trip down memory lane. everyone writes taako very few people write taako well. i'm not a taako fan and instead had Cares About Less Popular Characters disease but i did feel for taako enjoyers for this. i didnt really read polygon rpf so i can't speak to that side of things.

poetry and short stories: i don't think there are rly characters Everyone In The Fandom gets wrong for this tbh. like thats just not rly a coherent thing

the untamed/mdzs: SONG LAN...... i am not even a big song lan fan im a xuexiao stan first and foremost. but good lord. man has like 2 character traits and the ppl writing fic for him cant even remember those! also lwj but with the disclaimer that i have a very specific read of novel!lwj that just doesnt rly apply to untamed!lwj. which most people are writing for. i guess this is also true of song lan but i have more of a sense of "if you care a lot about song lan you should do your due diligence in hunting for scraps of characterization" whereas caring about untamed!lwj and not reading the book is like. yeah okay fair enough. to me.

tgcf: ooooh. hard one. my immediate instinct is mu qing bc i follow the tag and have to read way too much mu qing slander but i have in fact read good mu qing fic.... might stand by that anyway tho. the tgcf tag is like 50% mu qing slander by volume and it makes me sad. mu qing get behind me bby i'll protect u ;-;

dream SMP: hahaha. ha. what character DOESN'T dsmp fandom get wrong. it gets tommy wrong it gets techno wrong it gets phil wrong it gets puffy and niki and hannah wrong it gets dream wrong it gets purpled wrong it gets quackity wrong it gets sam wrong it gets schlatt wrong it gets karl wrong it gets george wrong it gets wilbur wrong it gets LITERALLY EVERYONE wrong. constantly. the only times it doesn't get someone wrong is when it's forgotten that they exist at all (this is about the eggpire but it's also about eryn and fundy and jack manifold and i'm sure many many others i'm not currently remembering). im giving the prize for Getting It Wrong to phil, though. i don't even LIKE phil. but everyone who writes him gets him wrong. they are just writing Generic Bad Dad or Generic Good Dad. he's got traits! i promise!

ok actually since this one's my current special interest i'll go a bit more in depth. tommy's rude & annoying & a fighter, he very very rarely has the sort of fawn response ppl write. techno is funny but he's got emotions and he is usually acting based on those emotions; if you're writing him in s1 he's less based than you think and if you're writing him in s3 he's more based than you think. phil has traits other than being a dad and also if you can't accurately identify which characters he is and is not a dad to then you don't get to write him. puffy, niki, and hannah all have traits other than being women; no, "therapist", "girlboss", and "mom friend" don't count. purpled is not particularly a Manipulated Minor TM, he's an amoral mercenary, he's kinda fucked up by isolation but he's more like punz than he is like tommy or tubbo. none of quackity, sam, and dream are one-dimensional characters whose only trait is Sadistic Abuser but also if you write them without acknowledging that they're sadistic abusers (with the exception of writing about early dsmp/before The Horrors) then you're doing it wrong. same goes for schlatt but with the addition of "he should not under literally any circumstances talk like he's got a tumblr". karl's more of a bitch than that. so's george. wilbur is more of an asshole and less of a creep than that. i could go on literally forever the dsmp fandom gets every single character wrong & it is my burden to be right about all of them u_u

(choose violence ask game)

[i-ideate]

raaaaaaah in the heights appreciation yap because i said so as a latina who grew up in America I actually relate to the themes of identity that are mainly present in Ninas character. I cried listening to Carnaval del Barrio. It is by no means a sad song, but hearing the bit where they are all raising their flags and feeling the pride of being latin immigrants felt so...real. I sob every time I listen to the finale because yes! I too have searched for my home!! And then I found out it was where I was standing!!!

But I think the bit that absolutely shattered me was Nina's verse in 'When You're Home'. That feeling of learning spanish just to feel like you belong? Yeah. That's me. I took spanish GCSE because I want to prove to myself that I AM LATINA. Growing up in so many english environments I am MORTIFIED at the idea of losing my identity. When my parents call me 'gringa' for using spanglish or an accent slipping through (maybe because I'm like their translator and have to switch between english and spanish rapid fire sometimes???) its light-hearted until it's late at night and I think of my future. Will I lose my Venezuelan accent and dialect? Will I forget my culture? Will I forget where I started? I wonder all the time if I were to meet a me from another universe where I stayed in Venezuela, how different would we be? Would I like musicals? Would I like history and politics? Would I worry about losing my identity? Would we fight? And that relates to Ninas bit about wondering who she would've been if she had never left Puerto Rico and stayed with 'her people' (which btw saying 'my people' is the part that makes me cry when I belt it. Cos like...who are 'my people'? I live in the middle east be so fr there is like no latin community here.)

I think in the end, however, what makes In The Height so good is that these aren't plot points presented front and center. The story continues as a little story of this guy, Usnavi, and the stuff that hapens to him. The struggles of being latino just happen because thats his life!!!! It isn't too shoved in your face, but it's prominent enough that its realistic!! Every character experiences their identity differently in this musical, and thats what I love about it. Theres a character for everyone, and to an extent you don't really need to be a Latino-immigrant to understand the core of the story and its themes about identity and community and hardship.

idk i just feel like it's an absolutely stunning musical and I would actually like cry so hard i'd vomit if I ever see it live on B-way!

if you were to ask me about In the Heights..

i'd tell you its a great musical with a cute storyline

but if you asked me on a deeper level..

i'd tell you that its one of the most beautiful musicals ive watched. it makes me feel so warm inside and theres never a week that i dont listen to the soundtrack. no i wasnt able to see the og but seeing clips is just fine. it never fails to make me cry by the end and its just such a good movie bro 😭😭🤍. (og soundtrack is better fight me)

"i found my island, i been on it this whole time, im home!"

(also sunrise is underrated)

[3416]

Ugh I’m re watching season 2 episode 12 atm and I forgot how painful it was seeing TK relieved and happy to see Carlos because he was so worried about his dad but instead Carlos walks in with this sterile and stressed expression and asks to talk to TK alone and then Carlos has this worried but police-like expression when telling him Owen has been arrested in a very monotone but gentle way and still tries to be calm but honest when TK is getting more and more wound up which must’ve been so hard for Carlos and then it all goes to shit when TK gets angry and aggressive :/ I’m still annoyed they didn’t properly address TK pushing Carlos like that, like I get TK’s default setting when he’s feeling extremely emotional, stressed, angry, numb etc is to lash out because of his own issues and trauma but I feel like it was brushed off because Carlos is a guy/male. And I know a lot of fans at the time were concerned, worried and frustrated about it too. I hope it’s not something we see again from TK towards Carlos and just generally aswell (of course episode 8 might have other ideas with the flashbacks though :/).

i get that a lot of people had visceral reactions to that scene and i understand why, and people can and should let themselves feel how they feel about it. i personally don't see as big of an issue with it as i know a lot of people did, and that's not because i think it was perfectly fine for tk to shove at him but. when you can understand the motivations and you know that it's not causing real physical harm, i think it's easier to move on from? i've read some really great explorations on the fan side of things that satisfied me in a way i knew not to expect from canon so. it is just a tv show to me at the end of the day, as much as i love their relationship.

we never did get to see them actually talk about it, but my main reasoning for not hanging onto this is that a) there was clearly some conversation off screen we didn't see bc tk tried to apologize again in the kitchen and carlos said "we agreed" (and you kinda just have to take that as the viewer lol... like you can hold a grudge against them for not showing it but it's not what i'm personally here to do or bothered by) and b) it's not been a repeated thing for them before that or since. we're not that far into 3, so that could change (i doubt it will ever get physical with them again on screen in that way) but since it's not shown to be a pattern with their relationship... i have a hard time categorizing that as any kind of abuse or anything extreme. that might be an unpopular opinion, but it... really has not bothered me as much as others and i'm glad i wasn't around when that episode aired live, lol.

[chisatowo]

Working on developing au Aris more finally and I might need to give her a new name because oopsie doopsie it's only like a tiny bit Aris dhsbdujeh

[cheswirls]

no more tags but everythings under a cut bc i do not wish to be acknowledged

another cool idea was the spe au where gold and silver swap lives. no notes nancy means i have no idea where tf i was going w it but i remember being super into it at the time!! gold being a runaway rocket prince (i think????? or a runaway masked child) and silver living in a house full of pkmn with a doting mother. same teams different circumstances. a spe!gsc arc rewrite god i wish i had more to go off of

i have all of those pmshi oneshots from the fk verse compiled in a single doc which makes me remember i was supposed to do a 10-20yr follow-up coinciding w the giratina event. where i think red tells silver giovanni is outta jail on immunity or some bs and tells him without saying it flat that silver's gotta be the one to take care of him. as in. put him in the dirt. so thats what he and gold go to do while their small children are stuck in the distortion world trying to appease giratina. would still love to give that a shot someday. i remember doing most of those ficlets for writing warmups in english class. in. i was 16. maybe i did some for a creative writing elective too bc i remember doing fk stuff for that that never saw the light of day (in the classroom among my peers i mean)

the amnesia au is STILL a draft somewhere among my 106 drafts on here. i started that shit my second semester of uni and vividly remember spending most of the night dming someone on here abt details bc they asked and i couldnt stop myself even tho i was pulling an all-nighter to complete an art project due that next morning. ye so def when i didnt have my priorities straight goooooood thats so painful to think abt

the pmshi soulmate au was around that time too. admittedly i should've let it set more before posting to ao3 (one of the first things on my ao3 asaaaaaaaaaa kill me) but even tho my interest was killed for that i still would like to go back to it someday. when i am out of uni nd school in general and it becomes comfortable to write using my own experiences to some extent. truly that is the reason i ever stopped - school started to suck and i didn't wanna think abt it when writing smth and i still feel the same way now. maybe will revive it after graduation (and grad school prolly) since its still interesting but i am def rewriting that shit lmao

wygtm (sumo rewrite) i am still planning to come back to. still love it. still love the post-game epilogue i drafted while in a summer course in 2019. still love the sequel idea that incorporates usum elements while also being set in the future (so mizuki+lillie are adults and have established jobs in alola and some of the brunt of the usum plot is shoved onto an unsuspecting kid to mirror how those 2 handled sumo events (ailey i think????? was the name of usum!mizuki in the demo, so i ran with it. they were 2 separate ppl) buuuuuuut ik a holdup w that will be that ill have to rewrite everything and actually decide on a personality for mizuki and also. idk i still like the name faaora i think it was french polynesian??? or smth for "hero" which was fitting. this was before the selene/elio name reveal and before i liked moon. if i redid this now i'd jus call her mizuki and have her nn be moon like i did in komadori

oh i JUST checked n the perfectworld fic was last modified (digitally) august 2019. that literally could've been accidentally pressing a key and deleting it tho im not sure. i think my first rewrite was in a notebook so maybe this is the most current version n its digital. i opened it in 2022 which im almost positive was when i did those sketches for korrina and gurkinn's granddaughters from johto. dont you just love when you make ocs for a fic in your teens and still love them years down the line.

i think the last one of note is the ranger au set in sinnoh that p much is abandoned at this point bc i've admitted to hell n back that i didnt write plot details down anywhere n its been so long ive forgotten everything. the only thing i can repurpose is all the background info i had for the sinnoh quintet and how each of them has a difficult relationship with their family and why they're out as "wandering" trainers. i've thought abt this so much bc i still love the designs i gave those 5 and all the lore i established. was gonna do a riley/roark fic last summer using my tron notes for him so maybe this summer i will. doing smth for each of them in detail would be fun since i love them sooooooo. (also i can absolutely still stuff marley/candice into her fic and actually write polartwilight for the first time ever bc i looove them)

looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.

and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.

funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.

esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider

[ruthlesscalculuss]

THIS IS A LITTLE RANT ABOUT JC’S TRAUMA, not a discussion post. So…Jiang Cheng. He’s a complicated character with a complicated history. Being neglected by his father and being humiliated by his mother, never truly being good enough for the people he craved respect from the most. Always being second best to wwx.

Then of course we have his trauma, the murder of his family, friends and the citizens of lotus pier. We see him sacrifice himself for wwx, his hopes and his dream of rebuilding the Jiang sect being extinguished at the torture by hands of Wen Chao, his core being forcibly destroyed. We see him struggle and then we see him slowly, but surely lose his best friend/brother because of diverging moral views and a lack of power on both sides to get through it together.

Jiang Cheng cannot loose Lotus Pier again at the hands of the Jin’s and wwx knows this, thats the one thing he cannot sacrifice. That’s why they have a staged fight, to publicly announce wwx’s defection. This way the Jiang Sect won’t be harmed by wwx’s actions. Here it breaks jc’s heart, the only one he wanted by his side was wwx and he can’t understand why he would leave the jiangs to protect the wens, all he sees is his brothers arrogance and his betrayal. He does not know the full extent of the wens help, he does not know wwx is without a core.

Jc is a broken man, he has given his best efforts to not be jealous of wwx, to not let it show just how deep his low self esteem runs. He cannot let himself be weak like his mother said he was, like his father thought he was. I think many people, specifically jc antis, ignore this. He is a HUMAN. He is not a character that can be shoved into black and white, either or. We can be like him, he is the example of the scarring, a physical reminder of unhealthy coping mechanisms with trauma. Wwx of course shows his coping methods as well.

Him trying to make light of most things, his lack of cares for rules because “why does it matter if I follow them, I’ll get punished anyway”, we see this even more so after he’s thrown into the mass grave. After Jin Zixuan dies and Yanli dies, Jc is overcome with anger and grief. He blames wwx, “didn’t you say you could control it?!” and to a degree it is part of his fault. Although I don’t think he had a choice-

they needed to win a war with that demonic energy, nobody can deny that. Jc doesn’t know the sinister plans that are making wwx turn into a target for the world. Imagine it was you, could you say you would still be as kind, as forgiving? Sometimes the world can make you or break you, and I believe jc was the latter. He agrees to participate in the siege, he was one of the most important gears in the siege.

Why. Did he hate wwx? Did he want to appease the sect leaders to save the Jiang Clan? Did he feel like he should end his brother on his own terms? I’m honestly not sure. There’s much speculation, It’s my own personal beliefs it’s a combination of politics due to the jins and also an anger that’s been building in jc for a VERY long time. I know in CQL he does force him to let go of lwj, but in the book…I’m curious.

What if Jiang Cheng got to Wei Wuxian first before anyone else. What would he say, what could he say? What would wwx say to him? Sometimes I think it would end as jc stabbing wwx and truly killing him. Sometimes, I wishfully think he couldn’t do it. But that’s very much up to everyone’s interpretation of Jc. At the end of this, I think of jc going back home after the siege carrying chenqing with him until he could finally rest.

I think he would just stare at it, too tired too numb to really do anything else. I think he’d get passed out drunk trying to maybe somehow sleep, and I think he’d have nightmares. God, I don’t write but I’d write a fic for this. Anyways ya sorry guys just some thoughts

[eastsidelovers]

future past:

because its everything, no, everything was never the deal. shut the door on terrible times. my shoes are an altar: remembrance: the things i love. can i trust you? would you lie to me? i wish i could disappear into the ground. be wiped from everyone's memory. i was never here, i never existed. maybe i'll wake up. i don't remember my first out of body experience. i don't remember my last. its amazing, the things you miss when you aren't paying. paying attention. i'm not ready for the questions. the stares. the comments. i've faced enough alienation in my life, and i don't need more. i don't enjoy it. but i worship it: alienation. he gave me words, no, he took me by the neck, threw me against a wall, and shoved it down my throat. and i will worship it. do i tell her? should i wait until i'm older? would you lie to me? i run in these circles. its your choice: my diary is an open book and you can decide if you want to know everything about me. its a tv series, you can't miss an episode unless you want to be lost. i'm the only fan of this one, i may be the only one that fully understands my story. my references. i may be the only one to ever read my writing in its entirety. someday i want to help the kids. not because i am good at comforting, but because i can show them there is hope for the future. i want to be what i've never had. growing up is terrifying, and all i see are unhappy adults. not just you, mom. its everyone. everyone's miserable. i can't spend the rest of my life wandering dead mall halls, sunny "self care days" drag on for years, and before you know it, i've wasted my life on never growing up. they tell me to be a kid now. i'm already feeling the stress of someone far older than me. and all i can do about it is lay idle in bed. she says i'm depressed. its not something i'm new to, but its something i'm beginning to fully realize the extent of its ass kicking abilities. showering isn't a chore for everyone. getting out of bed isn't dreadful for everyone. friends aren't terrible. i miss that glorious time when i loved my friends. now it feels like haven't been loved in years: i don't know what it is with you and the joy you suck out of my life all while making me think you're the best thing thats ever happened to me. don't feel sorry for me, i've never been better. i feel exhausted just getting out of bed and crossing my bedroom. i don't know how i'm still functional. i'm barely keeping it together. but maybe someday i'll be something. maybe i'll look back on this and think: realize: i'm delusional. the most beautiful thing ever is how these words withstand the years of seasons changing, wind battering the shit out of me, golden, heat, sub-zero. these are just glimpses of feelings turned thoughts turned words. maybe this is who i really am. thirty years from now i'll be on the same hamster wheel in my head, running in these same circles. peace: is a boat on the atlantic ocean. 50°f. overcast day. me and kafka ride up the shore, canadian water. back home theres vinyls. stonewall. silence. but for now i'm a---

i find its a lot easier to understand my window of tolerance nowadays than i ever have before. i think its funny: i can look back and see when i was thinking rationally rather than when i wasn't. and its all thanks to different circumstances. being overwhelmed isn't an excuse to be an asshole, however, being overwhelmed is an excuse to be an asshole. honestly, i'm transcribing every word in my head as it comes. and you eat this shit right up. god, am i a disillusioned rockstar already? god, i'm so tired. god, are you real? rocks and stars, hell, the rockstars say you aren't. someone outta put a bullet in his head. for now i'm twenty two twenty twenty two twenty twenty two twenty twenty two twenty and its only a matter of time before you're crossing country borders to run from what you're doing. soon everyone will know. you go against all the ethos, pathos, and logos, or maybe just ethics. its. a grey conversation.

[always-anxious-skychild]

okay okay I can't stop thinking about what vault skids are like now and you're like the only person I know who knows what I'm talking about and you've seemed interested thus far so I shall be Shoving this into your inbox there is no escape (unless you ask me to stop in which case I will stop)

so like: skids born in vault. the ideas I've come up with so far are all based off the idea that they take after the vault's night-sky-starry aesthetic and are a lot like the stars we see in them. So like. appearance wise they're not that much different, but their light is pale silvery-white like the stars and constellations we see rather than warm yellows and oranges like sunlight and fire. I think it'd be so cool and aesthetic if they got to have what basically amounts to glowy freckles that look like stars with a few connected constellations, and when you're looking at them in a bright lighting you can only barely see them but when there's little light they show up. And maybe, keeping with the kinda magical mystique of vault, maybe they can manipulate light to make illusions to some extent. Idk that may be cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And like, maybe due to the fact that they're like distant stars rather than the sun, and the fact that we cant see the stars in daytime because the sunlight overwhelms them, maybe they're a bit sensitive to heavy light. Not as sensitive as a wasteland or Eden skid, but maybe they're more crepuscular. Thriving and active in low light, like dusk and dawn and the brightness of the night sky when it's clear and the moon and stars are especially bright. thats not to say they can't thrive in places like prairie or valley—it's just to say that they thrive more in places where their own light isn't as drowned out, so a vault born skid might enjoy forest or (you'll never believe this) vault.

I'm sorry for the thought-spill but IDEAS

No.

Don't ever stop.

I'll hunt you down if you /lh

(Though I do suggest you break your paragraphs a little more because one long wall of text kinda overwelms me and harder to read hehehe.)

Anon, you're a fucking gift, a genius. Different born Sky kids having different fire colors in tie to having different beginning winged lights. Like... omg, I have to list it down.

Number and colors of light:

Isle - 1 / Orange

Prairie - 4 / Yellow Orange

Forest - 2 / Bluish White

Valley - 5 / Red

Wasteland - 0.5 / Very light yellow

Vault - 2 / White

Eden - 0 / Dark gray

And vault kids only thriving under low light like how the stars can only shine when it's dark? Like... so good. So good idea. Maybe they're nocturnal, prefering to candle and quest run when the sun is disappearing, alongside Forest kids who prefer the cool winds of the night and Wasteland kids whose eyes have adjusted well in the dark.

Them having freckles that only appear at the dark? It's like a secret thing... kinda like the vault that holds secrets of the past.

I love this so much. Thank you for the food. Maybe I'll create my own Vault OC so I can think some worldbuilding headcanons as well. (But I'm too attached to Horizon so maybe not soon hahahaha)

[aro-laurance-zvahl]

Yknow I wanted to know what he actually could be so I started writing down each side and their list of traits, what they do, and what makes them thrive but that made it all too broad and all encompassing and then I came up with this

Thomas is walking down the sidewalk, it’s dark and late and suddenly he sees a small bit of movement across the street.

Logan assesses that it’s inconsequential, it isn’t bothering them and they aren’t bothering it and so the best thing to do is to just keep walking and get home, because it is late and they need to get to bed. Logical, to the point, and trying to get Thomas to adhere to a mundane routine that would benefit him.

Patton thinks that it must be a lost or stray cat and they must go over to pet it, take it to the vet, find it’s home and if it doesn’t have one find it one or keep it. Kindness and optimism, if a little blind to how this could end badly for Thomas.

Virgil thinks it’s a beast with rabies and it’s going to come after them and if they get bit They Will Die so walk faster Thomas, get away from it, and never go outside at night again. Thinks up the absolute worst case scenario that truly snowballs from there, however somewhere in there is a good point about how it could be a wild animal that could hurt him

Janus agrees with Virgil an extent, they don’t know what it is and even if it is a lost cat it’s so late thy would have to bring it home and then they’d have to buy it food and thats just too much for eleven PM Thomas to handle, so best to just leave it alone and go home, get some sleep, and forget this ever happened. He wants to keep Thomas safe and avoid what’s just too taxing on him, even if it could lead to the cat/someone getting hurt.

Roman however is thinking about how if it’s a raccoon or something, they could totally tame it and it would love them and it would be really cool and they’d have the best pet on the block and even it doesn’t maybe the creature will give them superpowers. A little nonsensical when it comes to the everyday, because he is Thomas’ dreams and ego so he would think that no matter, it will be the best case scenario with the little creature.

Meanwhile Remus is piggybacking off Virgil’s points, making Thomas imagine all the horrible ways a random opossum could kill them all while praying on Thomas’ ignored fear of the dark which he should probably look into. He feels more like a support player tbh, making the issues the sides failed to resolve or shoved under the rug unignorable so Thomas will have to address them.

What could the orange side do about the random movement across the street?

Orange side being religious beliefs or whatever makes no sense 2 me bcuz isnt that what patton already is.

[nikikyuuun]

hii can i rq coffee, matcha, lemon, and pomegranate tea w jun if thats not too much? tyia!!

JUN NATION RISE

❧ jun tea prompts: coffee, lemon, matcha, pomegranate

content warnings: none

coffee; do they get jealous easily? how do they show it?

jun? being jealous? perish the thought. he trusts you enough that the thought of being jealous doesn't often cross his mind—and, well, he's mature enough to know that you both have lives outside of each other. he doesn't take too kindly to strangers flirting with you and clearly making you uncomfortable, though...quite the opposite, really. he's quick to go over to your side and lead you away, but his hand remains securely wrapped around your waist long afterwards.

lemon tea; what are mornings like with them?

jun is a bit of an early riser—not to the extent of, say, ibara, but he's not particularly the type to sleep in for too long, either... but if he happened to fall asleep next to you, maybe one day deviating from routine wouldn't be so bad. there's still a pretty good chance he'll wake up before you, though, and by the time you do wake up you'll often find him watching your sleeping face and tracing circles on your arm. "mornin', babe," he'd say, his voice still the slightest bit rough from sleep. "rest well?"

matcha tea; how and when do they propose to their s/o?

he'd definitely wait until after graduation, at the very least! jun wouldn't want to rush things with you too much, so he'll definitely wait until you're both at points of your lives where marriage is, well, less of something you just dream about happening someday, and more of something you can actually do. as for the actual proposal? he'll keep it simple but memorable—the place you met, or somewhere else important to you. it's almost like clockwork after that: the getting down on one knee and the, "will you marry me?"

pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o?

honestly, it would've been while you were doing something dumb together—like staying too late at a manga cafe and having to run to the station in the rain. jun took one look out the window, shoved his phone as deep into his bag as he could and flashed you a wicked grin: "race you?" whether you win or he does, he lets out a breathless little laugh as he ruffles the water out of your hair—and then he wraps his jacket around your shoulders on the pretense of, "so you don't get sick." when he tugs it a little more neatly around your shoulders he catches glimpse of your amused little smile, and the raindrops still clinging to your eyelashes... and for a moment, jun finds himself lingering on it—at the sight of you.

[hufflautia]

AA I WANNA KINDA THROW UP. i just went through all my notifications for the last few months in which i was gone and void and just gone like my dad. one thing that i realized that was kind of a shocker was that i like to abandon things before they can abandon me, or just do dumb shit and disappear before i get disappointed.

a beautiful example was when i had ordered two cute dresses and they finally came in the mail and as i was trying one on, i ddint rlly bother looking around it for a zipper besides the back of it, i rlly just shoved that shit over my legs and tried to pull it up and when that didnt work i pulled it over my head and somehow got it on and when i tried to take it off, for the life of me i couldnt and thats when i noticed a zipper in the side.

:/

i know, i have worms for brains. and after i realized, one: im dumb, but also two: theres a likelihood tht i decided not to look for the zipper bc i automatically assumed after i saw no zipper on the back that there wasnt one instead of searching for one bc if i couldnt find one, then i would get worried and disappointed. so i just went straight into it and tried to wear it without using one.

as i was looking through all the notifications, i just felt so immensely sad. maybe bcim listening to intense piano music bc the thought of going through all the notifications made me rlly anxious. bc then i would have to see all the likes and reblogs and comments and be reminded that there are actually people who care and like my work and im an old fart who disappeared for months. and i feel ultra bad bc of that ask i got of the person who was like pls i need closure areu working on the series or not : ( the email connected to this blog is one i no longer use so i didnt get the notification that i got an ask and UGH. the ask was back in december and now its jan and i feel so bad.

yall know how much i struggled with my writing and all the likes and reblog and just the lack of feedback i receive and how i was disappointed. so i think i have reached the reasoning behind my disappearance: disappear bc they disappoint you again. just like my dad when he would consistently disappoint me and i wsant in control of the situation, i could not make him come back home but im in control ofmy own actions so i leave before i can get disappointed again, try to fit on the dress without the disappointment that there was no zipper.

but as i was going through all the notifications i realzied that i am actually loved to some extent. sure, some of my fics dont do so well in my eyes, but others do. i remember feeling sad when chapter 5 part 1 didnt get much feedback but here i am, four months after it posted, and theres 102 notes and thats good enough for me.

i feel so sad, like alone here. my stupid fucking ocd forced me to go throuhg my entire feed every single day on tumblr and it was so exhausting. but i thankfully came out of that by not doing it, and it felt okay again. i was ok. but then i kinda lost touch with tumblr after? like i miss the people i used to see on my feed and i wonder where they are. i wonder where you all are. theres probably gonna be like two or three people reading this, and imt hankful. i hope ur ok.

i feel so weird on this blog. theres so much shit that happened, like with the ocd and then the stalker friend and then the whole thing with feedback. i have a very mixed feeling. sometimes i tell myself im never going back bc the validation will never be enough. but other times i want to write, not even for the feedback but because i like my writing, i like crafting it and thinking of ways to perfect it and make it nice.

i remember the days when i did incorrect quotes and i remember stopping them bc my anxiety was getting to be too much, and thats when i kinda disconnected with tumblr bc then my follower and like count slowed. i think i wanna start it again bc it was fun but its like, where are the people i used to see? people who i follow either stopped posting or idk where they are. i feel sad, like everyone is leaaving tumblr and im reminiscing on what this used to be. this used to be my whoel life and thats HELLA dramatic, no it wasnt, but i remember how excited i felt whenever i logged on tumblr, all the asks i got, etc. its sad when u lose touch with something u would've given everything for. but im not forgetting the new people who i come across, who are still here. its sad and beautiful. maybe things will get better when i post incorrect quotes again and connect with more people. bc this is connecting, in a way. like hey this post is funny. it reminds me that people are there and im not in a void.

thank u if u got this far, thank u for not leaving me in the void of loneliness. :(.

i think that before, when i was semi-notreally-active last year, i was kinda sad. like still dealing with a lot of stuff. ugh work, i remember when i had work in the summer and i was SO fucking exhausted all the time and didnt have the energy to write or just do literally anything. that shit was horrible. but now im actually happy. like im genuinely happy at college, its fun and wonderful and freeing. and im happy. i hope it makes u feel a tad bit better to know that while i was gone, i was happy.

so now idk whats next. i started planning out chapter 5 part 2 today. i hope people will be there to read it. xoxo i love you .