#maybe I need to stop trying to draw them so “accurately” because it makes my brain aware of the fact that.

[quietrobots]

how about we go lay down for a while

[orphiclovers]

Rereading early ORV and I have some THOUGHTS on Kim Dokja. In typical me fashion, they are unpopular. So if he's your absolute favourite character and seeing him be criticized will ruin your day, maybe skip this post, ok? Peace.

-

What is so novel and interesting about Kim Dokja is that he GENUINELY doesn't really have a knee jerk emotional reaction of outrage and empathy when seeing injustice happen. He sees something immoral and bad, but doesn't FEEL horrified and disgusted. Emotions don't drive him to attempt to fix the situation or save anyone.

Instead his moral compass is based on the simple logic that 'bad things happening should be prevented if there is an opportunity to prevent them.'

This philosophy is the most apparent in his actions in Chungmuro on the WHOLE, with the food and marginalized group and etc. But I will point out this moment in particular as an example of what I mean.

They see women be driven to prostitution to survive. Jung Heewon has an instinctive, human reaction of outrage and disgust, wants to rush in and save them and damn the consequences, while Kim Dokja is calm and rational, holding her back and saying those woman will starve if they try to help right now.

This lack of empathy (feeling strong emotions) is definitely due to childhood trauma stunting his emotional development but... that doesn't change the fact this is a legitimate part of his personality now.

Usually, when a character is 'cold and ruthless', it's because they are repressing their true feelings and forcing themselves to be unfeeling for some goal. Like Yoo Joonghyuk, for example.

But we are IN Kim Dokja's head and get to see the way he thinks, and being 'unfeelingly rational' IS what comes naturally to him.

Before you say anything, I know the Fourth Wall represses some of his emotions in certain situations and certainly helps him deal with pain and horror. But we are ALWAYS TOLD when it's active, and it isn't in these moments.

Blaming all of Kim Dokja's less than moral thoughts and behavior on the 4th wall even when there's no indication that it's influencing him at that particular moment, is not something I want to do as it feels like an attempt to scrub away his moral greyness. I choose to believe that his narration, in moments when he's not wrong or biased or 4th wall-ed, is a basically accurate representation of his character. I think the authors didn't make his narration totally 100% unreliable all the time, with no possible indication of where he's wrong or right. Because that would mean there is nothing a reader can latch onto and draw conclusions about KDJ from.

If they wanted to write about a faceless self insert with no concrete personality traits and flaws, a person you can headcanon to be anything, they wouldn't have written ORV.

I think it's okay to acknowledge Kim Dokja's first reaction to seeing a woman about to be raped is not 'oh my god...those bastards...! I have to stop this...!' but '...she might be dangerous or a hinderence in a future...'

We don't need to make excuses here and try to justify this. A moment later he catches himself thinking like this and 'shudders with disgust at himself.'

His first, instinctive thoughts that he can't control don't necessarily make him a bad person. What matters is his second thoughts and what he actually chooses to do, which he CAN control. I ALSO don't think he's wrong to feel disgusted at himself for having low empathy. His guilt is justified.

I genuinely like him even more for always picking the 'moral option' in every scenario now, than if he did it immediately with no hesitation. Because it makes empathy and compassion a constant choice he's making, and putting in the effort reflects well on what his values are.

Kim Dokja legitimately can't help but weigh everyone he meets on a scale of how 'useful they potenially are' first and foremost. He does this with strangers and also with all of kimcom too.

"Who should I save because they would be useful in the future? I wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk to be thinking about these things." At this point, chap 74, he thinks Yoo Joonghyuk is wrong and doesn't want to be like him at all and mostly calls him a psychopath. He thinks 'acting like him' is wrong and undesirable.

He has a mini arc about Yoo Joonghyuk later, goes from 'he's a bad person, I know it because I know everything about him' in chap 81 to 'maybe I don't know him at all' in chap 82 but this is before that.

Seeing people as tools and deciding who to save based on future knowledge is a thing BOTH of them do. Yet Kim Dokja critisizes Yoo Joonghyuk for it, it's his least favourite character trait that YJH of TWSA has.

And in typical Kim Dokja fashion, this similarity between them is exactly what he despises in Yoo Joonghyuk - but now we find out it's not because he finds it amoral ("I'm not a humanist" - he doesn't care about that part) but because he sees it as a mirror reflection of himself. He's projecting, as always!

In early ORV, he hates the part of Yoo Joonghyuk that is the most similar to himself. (even tho they're sort of the polar opposites too. Yoo Joonghyuk is a deeply emotionally driven person, he feels empathy and the desire to save everyone but chooses to repress and ignore this and act like a ruthless 'psychopath'. KDJ disagrees with this choice, as Kim Dokja IS an unfeeling psychopath (low empathy) but does his best to act like a decent person and not an edgelord.)

[luckybunny555]

⋆｡˚⋆ Little artists - Spidey Squad ⋆｡˚⋆

You had to take care of Mayday while at the Spider Society, so you decided to have an artistic play date, but you caught someone's attention

Characters: Miles 1610!, Hobie, Gwen, Pavitr. Not necessarily romantic, can be read as platonic too! GN! reader(lmk if the compliments I used aren't gender neutral, english isn't my first language!)

A/N: this is my first time writing for Miles and Pav, I have no idea how to write accurate dialogue for them(and maybe Gwen and Hobie too lol) but I tried

Peter B. had to participate in one of Miguel's meetings, and Mayday wouldn't be quiet, she's got the explorer instinct and curiosity in her

You were bored of Miguel's voice, always complaining or scolding or something, you didn't really know because you totally tuned him out a while ago

Since you got along well with kids, and you clearly weren't paying attention to the meeting, he asked you to take care of her for a little while – and how could you say no when she's almost begging you to hold her, adorably extending her arms to you?

You totally accepted

So you had an idea. You remembered you kept some colorful markers in the bottom of your bag, because who knows when you might get the urge to draw something, right?

You take your markers, but you don't know where to draw, can't find any paper

Then you had another idea

Why not leave your and Mayday's mark on the wall? A sweet, sweet gift for Miguel to find at some point

You sit down on the floor, legs crossed and Mayday on your lap, markers scattered all around you

You give her a hand when she needs it, but we've seen how agile and quick to learn she is, she'll get the hang of it in no time

You draw on the wall too. Maybe you have a petty distaste for Miguel, maybe you like to defy authority and break rules, maybe you just wanna give the place a bit of color... You have your reasons(or maybe you don't? you do you)

You make sure your drawings don't overlap with hers, giving her plenty of space to express herself and create her colorful little masterpiece

And you add your little details to your drawings, personal touches to mark it as yours

But you weren't the only person who got bored at the meeting

Miles

He was sick and tired of hearing about canon events and whatever else Miguel had to say

He was looking around, not thinking about anything, just trying to find something interesting to distract him with

Then his eyes landed on you

When he saw you and Mayday surrounded by a bunch of markers, drawing on Miguel's wall? He just had to join

Dude just walks over with that big smile of his, sits next to you and starts asking you about your "play date"

"What're you guys doing over here?"

You stop to take a look at him, unaware that you had a (one man) audience, and explain your idea to entertain Mayday

"Oh, that looks cool! Can I join?" He grabs a marker and waits for your answer, you could see how excited about it he was

You playfully slap his arm and nod

When he starts, you take a few moments just to look at his process, observing the way he looks when he's all concentrated in his drawings and wondering about how it'll turn out

After a while, you continue yours, you and Miles sharing a few jokes and tips as you both laugh

Occasionally, you guys would help Mayday, and you couldn't help but smile, seeing just how great with kids Miles was

He's just so careful and friendly with her, not to mention he also has that "childlike wonder" and youthful energy that makes him connect so well with kids

When you guys are done with it, he'll take a selfie/picture of it(with you and Mayday in it), so he can take a look at it in his gallery whenever he misses you – never fails to make him smile

Hobie

He's sitting on a table, legs extended over it, not caring about the meeting since the moment Miguel opened his mouth to speak, even though he's still listening

He's an observer, so he already had his eyes taking in everything that was going on in the room, his gaze occasionally turning to your bored expression, or to Peter when he handed Mayday to you

His attention would shift from time to time, but when you sat down in front of the wall with all those markers, he was too intrigued to take his eyes off of you

A little while after you started drawing with the kid, he got up from the table and made his way to you, leaning casually against the wall, clearly observing you and Mayday

"Adding a lil' punk flair to Miguel's boring old wall?" He says with that signature smirk of his

You look up, stopping your drawing for a moment, and let out a chuckle

You hold out one of your markers, asking if he wants to join

He obviously accepted. Leaving his mark on Miguel's wall? it's a surprise if he hasn't done that already

He'll make it as vibrant and punk as possible

And he's damn good at it, like c'mon, you've seen his guitar, his jacket... the guy's an amazing artist

Every once in a while you'll stop just to admire how the drawings are turning out, or how cute and caring Hobie looks when interacting with Mayday

The three of you make a colorful mess on that wall, and when you're done, oh, does it look awesome

He'll friendly fist bump you, praising you for your artwork – and your "defiant artistic expression" idea or something like that ;)

Gwen

She was trying to pay attention to the meeting, she really was

But she couldn't help but be curious and intrigued by what you and Mayday were doing, sitting on the floor in front of a wall

So she quietly made her way towards you, careful not to draw anyone's attention and get you into trouble

She leaned against the wall, a slightly amused(admiring) grin on her face as she observed the scene

The both of you looked up at her, and she just admired how cute you two looked for a moment

She noticed how good you were with kids, and it kinda gave her butterflies, you were so adorable

You asked if she wanted to leave her mark on the wall too, but she didn't wanna get into trouble with Miguel, so she kindly refused

"I'm not much of an artist anyways"

But she did sit next to you to help Mayday with her little drawings

So the three of you just sat there for a while, Gwen lovingly admiring you while you were so focused on your artwork there, and you guys would talk about a bunch of stuff

Very supportive of Mayday's artistic expression as well, compliments even the ones with uneven, crooked lines and messy coloring

She completely forgot about the meeting btw, she'll ask someone later what it was about, but right now she just wants to talk to you and watch you do your thing

She kinda can't take her eyes off of you, you look so fascinating and beautiful when you're focused on your "creative project"

She'll totally compliment you when it's done, she genuinely adored it and she appreciates your talent, it's really impressive to her

Pavitr

My logic is that if dogs love him, kids must love him too(who wouldn't love this sunshine of a boy tbh?)

You caught his attention when he saw Mayday in your arms, how adorable she looked as you played with her

A few moments after you sat down to start drawing with her, he had to approach you out of curiosity

Mayday immediately smiles at him, doing that "hand grab" reach thing that kids do when they wanna be picked up

He just wins kids' heart so easily, ok? It's adorable, really

He'd start off just helping Mayday, but then he wouldn't resist to add his own touch to the wall, and he's so excited about it, smiling and laughing while you guys talk and draw

"Aaah this looks amazing! You're such a great artist" this boy gives the most excited compliments, he genuinely appreciates your art style

Every few moments he'll take a look at what you're doing and comment on it, so much praise and excitement from him

And he'll be Mayday's biggest cheerleader too, anything she draws he'll be like "Yeess, it looks great, little one!" and give her a high five

And his drawing looks hella cool too, I totally see him as an "arts and crafts" guy, so he totally has some experience

You'll see the pure joy and pride in his face once you guys finish your artwork, he totally loves it and he enjoyed every second of it with you and Mayday

[thegoddessweiwei]

So some news for the Beauty and the beast Radioapple story ! Dropping some design 👀👀👀 I dunno yet if I’ll make this accurate to show or in my style ! My pinup Angel series is really rough to work on but I feel like a very refined detailed rendered style would be so pretty for this comic! For now have these more show accurate little concept drawing ✍️ with some lore attached to it!

We got Lucifer as Belle ! A single Dad who love his daughter deeply, but ever since the death of his wife can’t help but stay home and make rubber ducks ! One that you can put on your shoulder like a little friend that never leave you! He just wanna see his daughter happy… he miss his wife dearly and used to go see the priest often to talk about his misery however, said priest began to imagine that Lucifer was simply smitten by his handsomeness. Now Lucifer try to avoid the man at all cost.

We got Alastor as the beast! He who was so arrogant and showed little care for others, mistreated his friend and was bitter. He was cursed by a witch (vox) who felt deeply offended after he refused the reciprocate a love confession. If he want to be free of this curse he need to find true love. Reality is vox wanted Alastor to be stuck in this monstrous form or beg for his forgiveness and accept his love because truly who would Alastor wanna date more then vox? However vox was mistaken for Alastor as no heart… or does he? Maybe for a short dead beat dad…

Adam as Gaston and lute as LeFou ! In this story Adam is the head priest of the village but being a priest never stopped him from engaging in debauchery in the confessional. However to whoever’s dare question his saintness, there will always be lute ready to defend him in the shadow… for who would dare speak about such a grand man like Adam ? Who proclaim he can make miracle like no one ever heard of. Adam however is smitten with the idea of bedding the sad Toy maker, because after all Adam is the dick master and no one can resist him! Right? Right ?

Angel Dust as Lumière! and Husk as BigBen! There where both servant whom worked at Alastor manor before his curse afflicted them all, ever since this witch vox came with his fellow sorcerer Velvette and Valentino, it never was the same. The mansion is slowly turning into a swamp and it seems their master is not inclined to find love. Angel think he just need a little push and a pretty face to smitten him! While husk always say the man can’t fall in love if he got no heart. If you need to shed light on matter of the heart Angel is always there ! And if you need someone to understand you without a word uttered then trust Husk !

[fangirltothefullest]

Thoughts on the welcome home update because YES. Spoilers below the cut.

That sleep aid pill is called remderem which is almost "remember" but the d would be backwards, and its also almost "murder me" while missing the u. Is this anything? I don't know. Im always looking for names of things in args.

We have seen through two puppets eyes. First it was Wally and his discomfort and/or dissociation, and now it's Eddie's discomfort and/or dissociation. Which is fun because we've heard that Eddie would do crafts for the show and you'd just see his hands so that was a fun touch.

First iteration of the website we had mail letters (Eddie) giving us clues. Second iteration had bugs (Frank?) and active drawings (Wally?) giving us clues. Now we have symbols giving us clues and they remind me of stickers a little bit so possibly a connection to Sally? Who else would give the tiny pictures? Questions questions.

At the end of that commercial before his existential crisis, they say Eddie has been invited and they did his job for him so he could rest. Eddie does not seem happy about them doing his job for him instead of letting him do it himself. I am reminded of how clumsy with the mail he seems to be sometimes and how much work they make him do in the other audio clips. I wonder if he is feeling extremely overwhelmed but also unappreciated and that they can do all this work to help and choose not to most days? Sally insists it was easy to do and Eddie does not sound pleased.

One thing i can't stop thinking about and i have to go back and really re-watch the commercials closely, is Poppy. When they invite Eddie to the party they say everyone is there but there's no Poppy in the picture? And earlier they poured gravy on an ornament that, to me, looked very oddly shaped and almost like meat, and we hear Poppy, but we don't see her. So... a pea on a plate..... "P" on a plate? My brain could be misconstruing but did they eat Poppy and is that what he's actually seeing and is that why it's all red? I'd he seeing the reality beyond the mask? Is it more than a pea?

Eddie says "where?" In his crisis as a response to Frank calling his name. People are talking about this as if he doesn't know where he is. I agree this is a likely idea but what if he's asking where Poppy is? Do we ever actually see her in any of the videos or do we just hear her?

Wally has feelings a lot which is good to confirm he has feelings! Eddie also said he would be happy with an apple every single day and my he is an innocentbautism creature wally agenda is flourishing.

The amount if commercials has me fascinated because people used to do that for TV shows (still do but those earlier type ones welcome home is referencing is spot on) commercials for basically everything is accurate and what is funny is the accuracy of what each person is selling. Howdy with the cigarette commercial- he takes every opportunity to sell you something no matter what even if it's not good for you. Sleepy looking Wally selling you sleeping pills happy with the thought of the dream.

Wally being nervous about getting the holiday correct. Is it because he's never done it or ia Home going to hurt him?

Did home hurt Eddie because he was upset during the party? It sure fucking looks like it with home watching him so intensely. Does the chair have something to do with it?

Eddie's scribbled writing reminds me of the people trying to decipher the code on the safe.

On the secret pages it's signed "-W." But it talks as if it's a human person who watched the show and is working either the WHRP team. It also talks too grown up to be wally. Who is this?? Is it the same person from the terrified scribbles of the hidden page previously? It seems maybe so because of referencing needing the cleanup.

[choshasan]

it pisses me off..

I love him, I consider him my husband, he's my muse.

I draw him all the time, I have hundreds of drawings if not thousands of him decorating my room, I have a shrine of him, I have so much merch of him and it's still never enough.

And I wish I could show the world how much I love him, and I can't. Because I'm a jealous fuck who can't deal with the fact other people may like him and I can't convey to them that they don't and can't love him the way **I do** which I know is stupid because being on the other side I'd think the same of the person saying that,

But my feelings run deep and I can't do anything about it, so I love him, quietly, and info dump about him to my friends and hope I don't annoy them.

I can't even describe how deep my feelings run for him.

I bawl my eyes out because he's not real,

I cry over how beautiful and pretty he is,

I can't go a day without thinking about him,

I make artworks of him, obsessively,

I've lost real life friendships over him,

I've blocked hundreds of people over him,

I **need** him everyone around me,

I dream of him,

He's the first thing I think of in the morning,

The last thing I think about at night is him,

Finding another person attractive feels like I'm chesting on him,

I can't "finish" if I'm not thinking about him,

I can't do anything without him,

Fuck.

Without him I don't even have a will to live.

I'm desperate for him,

I make playlists of songs I want to sign to him,

I use A.I. chatbots despite being against A.I., to "chat with him" and I always end up pissed because none of them are actually accurate to his true personality.

I get pissed when I see people simping for him after he started getting popular,

Because for me it was love at first sight.

The first time I layed eyes on him, I fell in love.

He kept me alive through getting bullied, losing all my friends, getting physically and verbally harrassed, getting S.A.ed, getting dumped from past relationships I'd use to convince myself someone was capable of loving me, through discovering I'm not some fucked up psycho and I'm not fucking stupid I'm just AuDHD, through realising the man I thought I could trust, I spent so much calling dad, was nothing more than an abusive piece of shit who manipulated me and hurt me, through having to watch that same man get remaried and abandon me, just to divorce her a year later, through massive burnout, through having to cope with severe childhood trauma, CPTSD, depression, through trying to cope with the fact I started having suicidal ideas when I was 4 years old and they've only gottrn worse since, through doubt, sorrow, anger, joy, thriugh everything. Everything that has happened in my life since I was nearly 12 he's been there for me through it.

He's genuinly my lifeline. The only thing keeping me alive everyday, stopping me from slitting my wrists for good with that fucking box cutter I wanna grab so fucking often,

And when the manga he's from was announced to enter it's last arc, I was fucking devastated. I bawled my eyes ouy, I didn't eat or drink or get out of bed for three days and the only thing that got me out of it was that I had to pacl my things and get back to my mother's for the week,

and when it did end?

I wanted to fucking kill myself. Knowing I'll never see more of him, there'll never be a new chapter again for me to look forward to, hoping maybe my darling would be there.

I've drowmed THOUSANDS of dollars into him, not a birthday or christmas has passed since I turned 12 without recieving at least one gift with him on it.

Fuck, my friends even all know all they have to do to calm me down when I'm having a mental breakdown is to send me pics of him or tell me to think about him.

My first tattoo was of him, and I have so many more planned.

I plan on having his name in Kanji tattooed on my fucking throat, as a permanemt mark that I belong to *him* and him only forever.

He's the only character I've cosplayed more than once.

He's the only character that can make me happy stim to the extent he does.

He's the only thing that can get such strong emotions out of me.

He's the only thing that matters in my life.

And that barely beggins to scrape the surface of how deep my feelings for him are.

I love him more than anything in the world, I want to talk about him 24/7 and I fucking can't.

I love this man. More than I can ever express.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[marie-swriting]

More Time With You - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

Summary : You meet Robin at a party.

Warnings : party, fluff, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.3K

French version

Song inspiration : Enchanted (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

A knot in her stomach, Robin enters Steve’s house where the music is already in full swing. She passes by a few teenagers, including some couples who are kissing - or eating each other’s face would be more accurate. Robin tries not to pay attention to it and looks for her friend. When she finds him, she calls his name. Steve turns around and gives her a smile.

“You came ! You’ll see, you’re going to have fun.”

“I’m not so sure about it. I don’t know a lot of people here.” she contradicts nervously.

“That’s exactly why you need to meet them ! You’re staying here the night and I'll bring you home tomorrow ?”

“No, my dad comes to pick me up at midnight.”

“Seriously ?” Steve asks, rolling his eyes.

“Look, it was the condition for me to come to your party ! Be happy I’m here, I could have not insisted when they told me ‘no’ the first time.”

“Try to enjoy as much of it, then.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know.”

“It’ll be alright, Robs.” he reassures her, putting a hand on his shoulder. “And if it becomes too much, you can always come find me or go in my bedroom.”

“And find a couple almost naked, if not worse ? Hell no !” Robin exclaims, shaking her head.

“I closed my room and my parent’s. The key is in the drawer of the table in the corridor.” Steve whispers in Robin’s ear.

“What a hiding spot !” she laughs.

“You can criticise all you want but people are too drunk to think about it. I need to check if there are still enough drinks, go on the dancefloor, have fun !”

‘Have fun’.

Robin keeps saying these words in her head as she gazes at the teenagers from the corner of the room. Despite the lively music, she doesn’t dare to set a foot on the improvised dance floor in Steve’s living room. She doesn’t want to appear like the girl who doesn’t have any friends by dancing alone. She’s already feeling too out of place. It’s better for her to be forgotten by the others than drawing attention to herself.

Robin tries to search for Steve and she finds him close to a girl from school, so she prefers to leave him alone. Not wanting to stay static, Robin goes to pour herself a drink and snacks a bit. When there are more people joining her to fill themselves up, Robin decides to leave, her drink still in hand. This time, she doesn’t stop in the living room and goes outside. She was hoping for some calm, though the people jumping in the pool make her realise she needs to go somewhere else. Robin sighs and ends up going to Steve’s room after retrieving the key.

Robin takes a look at his friend’s room, discovering some posters and school stuff on his desk. Music muffled by the closed door, Robin lays on the bed and enjoys the calm.

Robin stays on the bed, drinking her glass slowly until she hears somebody knocking on the door. She doesn’t have the time to respond as the person partially opens the door and brings their head near the crack without looking inside.

“Please, tell me you’re not naked.” you say with your eyes closed.

“Huh, I’m dressed.” Robin informs as she sits back, confused.

“And the other person ?”

“There’s only me.”

“Really ?” you exclaim before entering the room. “Oh, thank God ! I was afraid a couple found Steve’s infallible hiding spot or that he told someone else where the key was.”

At first, Robin stays quiet when she sees you. She doesn’t consider herself dramatic when she thinks you are the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. Quickly, Robin puts her hair right back - she has messy hair because of the pillow.

“Sorry, I didn’t know someone else wanted to come here.” she apologises, talking fast. “Steve told me I could come here if I needed to. I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey, it’s okay.” you cut her with a smile. “If Steve told you you could come it means he trusts you. Do you mind me joining you ? I’d like to have some time away from the others for a bit.” you explain, scratching your neck.

“Yes, sure, you can stay. I’m not gonna forbid you to stay here.”

You close the door behind you and sit next to Robin. You stare at her quickly, trying to determine if you know her. Robin is uncomfortable, feeling like she’s under a microscope. A million scenarios are going through her head where she thinks that despite your nice appearance, you’re about to throw her out of the room. As soon as you finish analysing her, you smile at her.

“I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“I’m Robin.”

“Robin Buckley ? You’re the one who is working with Steve at Ahoy Scoops ? I mean, was working with.” you ask her, enthusiastic.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m still working with him by the way. We’re going to start a new job at Family Video in two days.” she informs you with red cheeks.

“That’s what he told me. I’m glad to finally meet you. Steve didn’t stop talking about you. You gave him some humbling lessons, he needed it.” you laugh before holding your hand to her. “I’m Y/N.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you at school before and I feel like you’ve known Steve for a long time so it’s weird. You must be part of the popular.”

“Far from it.” you exclaim with wide open eyes. “I’m not from here, actually. Long story short, my grandma is his neighbour and I come visit her for a month during summer. Steve has been my best friend since we were kids. It’s also the reason why I’m always hiding here during his parties, I don’t know anyone.”

“Me neither.”

“You’re in the school marching band, right ?” you question, interested.

“Yes, I play the trumpet. It’s not exactly popular but I like it.”

“It’s so cool ! Could you play me something one day ?”

“If you want to. Do you have a song in mind ?”

“Your favourite.”

Robin doesn’t really know if your request is serious or if you just want to be polite yet she’s already figuring out which music she could play for you. She hopes she’ll be able to do it in a few days, wanting to impress you.

“What about you ? If you’re not popular then, what do you do ?”

“Theater. Like you, I like it even if it’s overlooked.”

“I’d love to see you act one day.” Robin admits, avoiding your gaze.

“Well, we’ll have to plan this.” you say, putting your hand on hers.

You’re looking into each other’s eyes for a few seconds. Robin is about to talk when the first notes of Whitney Houston’s Saving All My Love For You start. You speak before she can utter a single word.

“Oh ! This is my favourite song ! Would you like to dance with me ?” you ask her after standing up, your hand still in hers.

“I don’t really know how to dance.” Robin refuses, wincing.

“I’ll show you, it’s easy !”

You give Robin your other hand. With a smile on her face, she takes it and stands up. You bring her closer to you and put her hands on her shoulders. You put hers on your waist. You smile at her, hoping to calm her nerves. You show her the first steps, then you dance softly.

Robin steps on your toes several times though you reassure her, saying she’s doing well for a first time. 

While the song keeps going, you admire her features, her blues eyes, her freckles and finally, her beautiful lightly curled hair. Robin tries to do the same but your eyes on her are making her more stressed so she stares away. At one point, you spin her around. Surprised, Robin is about to fall when you hold her back just in time. You laugh before slow dancing again, your faces only a few inches apart.

When the song is over, you stay for a second in each other’s arms before breaking the embrace.

“You’re a good dance partner.” you state, putting a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I think your feet might disagree with you.” Robin laughs.

“Maybe, but it’s a good thing. We have to keep dancing until they change their minds.”

You take a step back from Robin and go open the window, letting the fresh air of the night in. Robin comes next to you, leaning against the window sill. Below, you can see some of Steve’s drunk friends laughing, dancing or swimming in the pool.

Under the starry sky, you enjoy each other’s presence and get to know each other a bit better. The conversations flow naturally without an awkward silence. You feel like you’ve known one another your whole life. It’s officially the first Steve’s party you’re going to where you’re having that much fun and all of this thanks to Robin.

After spending quite some time talking, you need to use the bathroom so you excuse yourself before leaving the room. Robin feels her smile growing bigger whilst she realises this night is going better than she could have ever imagined. Sure, she hasn’t socialised with the people from her school, she’s isolated herself but she met you and she instantly liked your character. She only wishes for one thing : to keep talking to you. She thinks about other questions she could ask you when Steve appears.

“Hey, Robin ! Your dad is here.”

“Oh, can you tell him I’ll be there in five minutes ?” Robin asks, hoping to see you one last time before leaving.

“He seems a bit in a rush. And it took me at least ten minutes to find you so you should hurry.”

Robin weighs the pro and con for a few seconds before accepting, knowing her father can be impatient.

“Alright, fine. I’m going. See you Steve.”

As she leaves the room, Robin hopes she’ll find you on her way out yet, when she walks out of the house door, she has to accept the fact she has to leave without saying goodbye. Robin promises herself to talk to you again to, at least, apologise to you for leaving so soon. She doesn’t want you to think this night didn’t mean anything for her.

In her father’s car, Robin stares through the window at the landscape whilst she thinks back about the night. In spite of herself, she blushes as your slow dance plays in her mind. She loved your proximity, even if anxiety was eating her alive. On the way home, she only has you in her mind, wondering if you felt the same thing she did. She wonders if you know how glad she was to meet you. She can’t help but let her imagination wander and hope she has more time with you. After all, she has to show you her musical talent and you, your acting skills.

That night, it took some time for Robin to fall asleep, because of the way you overtook her thoughts. She even started to search for a song to play for you. She doesn’t know how long you’re staying at Hawkins but she hopes she has a few days left. She needs to see you again, no matter when. Maybe she has too much hope for you. She wishes for this night to be the beginning of something, not something that already has an end. Although, who can assure her you felt the same way she did ? Maybe you’re already in love with someone else ? She wishes with all of her heart you don’t have somebody waiting on you. Her hopes might be vain but she can’t help it ; this night was unique. It means something for Robin so it could mean something for you, too.

When Robin meets Steve again two days later at Family Video, she knows she has to ask him about you. You haven’t left her thoughts and only Steve can give her all the information she needs. Though, she doesn't want to let her friend know you’ve caught her eyes so she has to be discreet about it. That’s why she waits for Steve to give her the perfect opportunity which he does a few hours later : 

“So, did you enjoy my party ?”

“Surprisingly, yes ! I spent the night with your friend Y/N. She’s nice.” Robin affirms, trying to hide her idiotic smile.

“Yeah, she’s amazing.”

“Is she still here ? She wanted us to do some stuff, I don’t know if she told you.” she states casually.

“She left today actually.”

“Oh, I was hoping I’d see her again.” she mutters, hiding her disappointment.

“Don’t worry, she comes back here often to see her grandma.” Steve reassures her before putting his hand in his jean’s pocket. “By the way, while I’m thinking about it, she asked me to give you that.” he informs, showing her a piece of paper folded in two with her name on it.

With eagerness, Robin takes it from Steve’s hand and puts it in her pocket. She takes a box full of VHS next to her and tells Steve she’s going to put them back on the shelves.

The second Robin is hidden in the horror section, she puts the box down and opens the notes you wrote where she finds your address and your phone number. Her smiles goes from ear to ear when she sees the words you added at the end : 

“I hope you didn't forget you owe me a song and me a play so let’s keep in touch.

This night was flawless, I was enchanted to meet you.

Y/N.”

Stranger Things Masterlist

Speak Now TV Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[intergalactic-garbage]

prev post got 2 whole notes so im doing it (thank u @odysseus-crewmate-number38. kissing u on the mouth) i tried to make them all as biblically accurate as possible, while also taking into account how i simply understand them all better than rick (imjokingimjokingimjoking). picrew is all the one belonging to @potato-lord-but-not, i love you, am begging you to make a fat option so i can make frank zhang and have a complete set <3 mwah

i'm pretty sure that upon unpacking how much of him is Being a Good Soldier, jason would find that being a man is part of that. i don't really see xem using they/them for some reason, but i do think xe would look it all up really well and find neos and think they're neat. also xe wears headphones bc xe would not be able to get shit done without them. xe, as well as leo, does have overgrown hair in this, because nobody has time to cut it on the argo ii. (xe learnt the finger heart from kids at chb and won't stop doing it)

leo has his signature hoodie in which noone ever draws him ever, and he's obviously aroace, because i know the truth. he never dated calypso, and instead accepted his aroaceness <3 (has his little elf ears.) the scarf is really just practical. also his hair is big and voluminous, i saw it myself. richard doesn't get it

reyna is. in her braid, with a cool little imperial gold piercing, and done with everyone's bullshit. give her a break. also i think she's canonically those two flags? iirc. the eyes in the background i thought looked cool, and also she would definitely be on everyone's radar all the time as praetor. she would canonically use the celestial bronze gun ithink

piper also unpacked all of her trauma, and realized that maybe the reason she didn't like feeling "like other girls" is because, she is, not, in fact, a girl. uses she/they, still uses the sapphic label, because that's what they're most comfortable with. has their little flannel shirt, and a cap, because damn, hoo is during the summer, they'd all need a cap/hat to not die of the heat

hazel would, i think, genuinely believe that she's homophobic, and be really sad about that, until she'd realize that she really would quite like to kiss piper, and that the only reason she thought she hated gay people was because the only overtly gay person she'd seen up until then was octavian. (she would like to use the old pride flag ithink) anyway she's doing the t-rex hand thing because as we all know, she is autistic and loves horses. hence the hat. also i think she would wear glasses, i mean, she doesn't need brilliant eyesight underground, and who would've thought to test her in her first life

hazel is canonically the one to curse the most out of the 7, and she's just over all really expressive! don't make her the cute one! or well, do, but don't erase that she would also yell at someone if they were being a prick.

will is so talkative and oversharing and im sad that rick didn't realize that. he's a certified yapper. his mouth is open bc he's talking right now. unfortunately, potatolord doesn't have the option to give your characters baby fat, so these two do look a bit aged up from their 14? (they are so young)

hello pjo characters who got erased from hoo <3

rachel has behind her the bigender and the aspec flag. i really think she would like microlabels, and would definitely love to try out crazy neos and stuff. her art friends make that basically commonplace for her. he does have will wood t-shirt bc of course. and the necklaces with the eyes. haha oracle joke .also they do have gapped teeth thank u for askng

i wanted to give grover crutches, but i think ambulatory wheelchair user!grover is very good as well. picrew didn't have rasta cap option, sorry my mans. he has anxiety and constantly looks ill. i thought it would be funny if he was pansexual. haha. get it. and also the gnc flag over there, bc i use genderqueer in the classic way, "person who expresses their gender in any way, that wouldn't be considered within the 'norm'", which i think grover fits, and also it's like a cultural thing for satyrs

hi this one is pretty far away from canon but bear with me. i do realistically think, that thalia would've picked up smoking from beryl, just from a young age. i just find it likely. no she doesn't have a leather jacket, that's on me. i gave her as much of alt jewelry as i could. still not enough piercings though. and yeah no she hasn't got the blue hair streak, sorry. idek if that's canon. i wanted to give her more scars (picrew ran out, sorry), so she gets the eye one, and then also an eyepatch, because that's what being a hunter of artemis does to a girl. yes i think she would be gnc (pretty much can't be alt without that), AND aroace.

drew, they did you so dirty im so sorry baby. . . .. she is a lesbian. also had no idea how to deal with the pressure of leading a cabin after learning her adored sister was a traitor and then died. she eventually unpacked it slowly, and became better. she does still bitch though <3

hello my favourite character from chb who got nerfed after the last olympian and never brought back

clarisse is a lesbian, of course she is. and she was in love with silena, yeah. she is definitely thinner than she should be (that girl is ripped), and doesn't have nearly as many scars as she should. also she is, at all times, covered in blood, at least a bit. her own or someone else's depends. also she's from arizona? probably carries a gun, not even a celestial bronze one.

nico is as pale as death, has the stereotypical early naughties long emo fringe, box dyed black. yes he has the genderqueer flag, because that's the gender expression of alt people. queer. out of the norm. and an mcr t-shirt bc of course he would are you kidding me. also braces bc he is! young

thank u for coming to my rrtalk

[dylanndr]

It Happened to Me: Crushing While Aro/Ace

TL;DR: You don't stop being aro/ace even when you're having feelings that look, on the surface, strikingly similar to what allo people typically feel. Insert the usual caveat that this is about my own personal experience, other folks will have different takes on this topic.

So yeah, I came down with a crush recently, and decided to draw this little diary comic about it.

[For reference and clarity, I identify as demi/gray for both aro and ace. While I do want to be in a relationship, I don't catch feels for very many people. I do experience sexual attraction, but that's even rarer for me than romantic attraction. This particular guy referenced in my comic managed to set off both.]

On a surface level, there's nothing new or original expressed in this drawing. Pretty standard set of anxieties and behaviors when you're crushing, right?

And yet, for folks who are arospec or acespec, having what looks like a standard crush is not necessarily the same thing as allo crushing. This is not a dynamic I see talked about a whole lot, so I'mma talk about it.

By way of analogy, let's say I did a drawing of a cis man and a cis woman who are clearly a couple, and indicate that they're in a monogamous relationship. Nothing on the surface says that this is anything other than a typical heterosexual couple. Except, wait, what if both people involved are bisexual. Being in a monogamous relationship with someone of a different gender does not automatically reset either person to straight, nor can their partnership be accurately described as heterosexual. Neither person enjoys heterosexual privilege, and each person continues to experience and process attraction differently from someone who is straight.

By the same token, an aro and/or ace person experiencing romantic and/or sexual attraction does not automatically become allo. For my own part, the nature of this particular crush has caused certain allo things to make more sense to me, certain songs or movies or phrases or behaviors, but it feels very much like learning a second language: I just figured out the translation for one or two things that were utterly incomprehensible to me before ("Oh, maybe that's why allos don't seem to get bored of yet another rock song that's about sex. Fascinating.")

This crush does not at all mean that I will now be a typical alloromantic/allosexual from here on out. I still experience these feelings from a different vantage point, and bring a different set of past experiences to bear, experiences that many allo people have flat out told me make no sense to them ("What do you mean you weren't aimlessly horny all the time in high school???"). I still approach relationships in ways that seem "weird" to allos. I still won't be up to speed on attraction dynamics that are deeply intuitive to allo people, but that require translation for me to comprehend them.

And it's not like I haven't spent a lifetime trying desperately to understand all of this. I want to be in a relationship, a fact that a number of even my very close friends are shocked to learn, because I don't perform the typical social signals around that correctly, I guess. And when allo people give me dating and relationship advice from an allo perspective, it most often feels like I'm being offered an array of cow tools. What I actually need (if I may spaghettify this metaphor) is an array of bat tools. They won't necessarily look less odd, but they'll at least be the right tools for me.

[unofficialarchives]

Maybe it says a lot that I'm like hmm I need a series to make an OC that accurate represents me and my wife at this point in time, what series should I use? And then I'm like oh yeah this blog exists. I can make yet another horrors that persist TMA character and no one can stop me! But then there's like

14 fears to go through and I guess what I'm trying to say is idk which fear has the most lesbian energy. Esp trans lesbian energy. Because this trans masc butch is ready to draw babey and my hot trans wife's character needs to fit into whatever fear I traumatize them with. As for my character I genuinely don't know what to slot them in as. Can't do the lonely for obvious reasons, don't want to do desolation because no one will live up to the expectation Sam's made. The stranger scares wifey, the dark scares me, and I feel like corruption is more self love so that takes care of what.. 5 out of 14 fears?

Idk. Weigh in if you want to I guess. No Sam is not a lesbian. Sam is a chaos bi. They will forever be a chaos bi. That's part of the problem, honestly. It'd be so easy to reuse sam but it just won't work.

[brandogenius]

hihihi!!! okay so hear me out i'm a barista so i had lots of thoughts and delusions about jb and barista!reader...

when jb comes in, reader definitely says the order at the same time as jb and smiles every time they accidentally talk in sync and jb is grinning and apologizing for talking over her and lowkey panicking while reader is writing her order on the cup and some doodles

i know DAMN WELL julien is giving hella tips, at my job our cash tips are split evenly between baristas so i just have the feeling jb is counting the visible baristas and doing the math for how much of a tip exactly she needs to give all together for reader to get the tip jb wants to give her (does that make sense??) + reader is always shocked at how big of a tip julien gives

reader giving her the cute/silly steam stickers that go on the hot drink lids + julien definitely has a little collection in her car on some random paper of every single one she gets (at my job rn we have valentines stickers and they're like conversation hearts with words on them...im imagining reader trying to shoot her shot and putting a sticker on her cup that say 'kiss me' or 'ur cute' or something similar and julien is about to frame this sticker on her wall)

after a certain amount of time (assuming the shop doesn't ask for names) reader learns juliens name and when jb comes in with the boys reader greets her by name and phoebe and lucy are like :0 and juliens grinning walking up to the counter with them and she's like "hiiii 😇🥰"

when there's a rude customer and julien happens to be there she stops reader when they bring her drink be she sees how overwhelmed and frustrated they are and she apologizes for the customer being rude and says something super nice about how important customer services jobs are and how employees deserve sm more than they usually get from those jobs (like that interview she had talking about how she doesn't tell waiters when her order is wrong esp if she can see they're stressed out) and accidentally starts rambling with her big girl words and reader is barely taking in what she's saying but is also on the verge of tears at how sweet jb is

julien comes in and orders her drink but orders something to bring to lucy or someone and reader is like "oh?" and jb is so quick to reassure that it's for her FRIEND not ANYONE in particular just her BESTEST BUD

could you imagine how cute it'd be if the place had themed drinks and stuff for pride month and jb is asking reader about said pride specials and reader is so excited about it all and julien is silently taking notes making sure reader is in fact gay and not an extremely passionate ally

one of these days jb comes in and it's not busy at all so reader and julien get to chit chat about random stuff until she has to actually leave so julien orders and reader writes her number on the back of the cup and says 'text me! :D' or something cute that tells julien she wants to keep talking and julien doesn't even realize bc the writing was facing away from her and when she does notice there's more on the cup than usual she like dies on the spot

OKAY IM DONE I COULD GO ON FOR FOREVER IM SORRY FOR YAPPING SO MUCH AHHH i just LOVE this hc and i can make it sososo accurate as a barista

-🪷

LOTUS ANON!!! THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AHHH!

learning juliens name because they talk so much and reader knows her order like at the beginning it might’ve been like “hey it’s ice latte girl, how are you?” to knowing exactly what time jb comes in she doesn’t even need to wait because you have the coffee just made by the time she walks in

reader listening to her ramble about customer service and the use of big words intrigues them, reader is like… woah

reader who started to draw little hearts on juliens cup 😭 when jb orders something for lucy and reader stops her drawings like “shit shit shit” and jb catching on like NO WAIT IM SINGLE!! bit of angst to add but maybe the next few times reader doesn’t draw any doodles on jbs cup and she misses them until jb is like “you don’t doodle anymore :(“ and readers like “sorry - i didn’t know if i was coming off as weird or something”

STOPPPPP!!! brownie points if reader has a lesbian cup in the corner with their own drink and julien looks at it like 👀 👀

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TELL ME MORE IM ADDING THIS TO THE COFFEE SHOP AU!!!

[napkinmouse]

Lol

Character design is hard

Genshin recently released some creatures that look like a much better version of my fursona ideas I attempted to make in the past. It’s resurfaced a reoccurring issue I’ve struggled with since I first started drawing, as a matter of fact. Every single one of my design is practically a 1 for 1 of something else, but ✨stylized✨. They are boring, simple, plain, and definitely plagiarized to some degree. When I do try to make something unique, it comes out looking half baked at best.

To add to insult to injury, it turns out that nobody really likes my fursona designs I’ve made for them. Well… I guess that’s not entirely accurate. They only like it because I made it and it’s a “neat” design. Not because they actually relate to it in any way, which defeats the whole fucking point. Never mind that I spent months trying to figure out which type of animal would most accurately depict by using years of observing their mannerisms. Quite literally losing sleep over it thanks to it being a hyperfixation until I figured it out. Which, to be fair to them, is understandable since my designs are all shit anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ one of them is literally just a stuffed animal I saw and put it in a dress, and another is basically a recolored version of a comic I used to read, which because of the colors I chose gets mistaken for Fluttershy. Not a *single* one of my friends actually relates to them despite all the effort I put in.

Then again, I guess I did do that on purpose to a degree. I chose these creatures after careful deliberation, and not so much preference. For example: I have a friend who LOVES raccoons, but I personally think a rat suits him better. Raccoons are round, slow, gluttonous, a bit of a goblin, bot overall pretty chill. ….he, however, is none of those things. He is highly intelligent, nervous, *needs* routine, and is uncomfortable with breaking away from patterns. He needs tests and has a very reward centric personality, or at least a huge fear of failure. But, can still be soft and sweet, albeit a bit always, It reminds me of a lab rat.

I like the challenge of trying to figure something out from a psychological perspective more so than what I think is cool. I also like the idea of using something I’m not super into as a way of learning to love aspects myself. Otherwise, I would have chosen a fox. I was obsessed with them for a long time. So much so that my “fursona” as a kid was Renamon for a long time. Because I’m an unoriginal hack. However, foxes have a lot of symbolism that I don’t really have. They also don’t share visual features or personality traits with me. Except maybe the weird screaming. If I were a fox, it would no longer be “me” anymore. I would be cool, for one thing. Ha ha

All in all, I think I’m just gonna stop trying. My fursonas are shit. They always have been. Designing them is upsetting because I hate how basic all my designs are. I should just stick with people. Especially since the hard work amounts to nothing and doesn’t matter anyways, so I’m just gonna give up on this aspect and stop trying to do something that clearly isn’t working. I’ll just stick to making boring ass fanart sketches with 2/3rds profile headshot.

[agooberscanons]

Sitting at home alone, Sayori hums to herself softly as she starts cleaning up her desk. Usually used for doing work at home, today it has deserved a much needed break while the woman didn't have to go to her job today. It's Saturday, after all!

The young woman coos and sways in place as she makes the desk a little more tidy. Sayori's room is more of an organized mess, in that she knows where everything is and should or shouldn't be. She likes it that way, much to the detriment of others who come to visit.

A blank canvas, for once, as she stares at the desktop. It's good for a productive tomorrow, but it looks a little sad and lonely right now. Oh! She can do something she hasn't done in a long time: A little doodle session! It'll be a great idea! She goes to grab some thick cardstock paper and her markers, getting right to work.

Some sunshine, some cows and blue hearts all over are Sayori's telltale signs of her mood. Of course, she's so used to drawing these that her mind starts to wander. Nothing wrong with a little daydreaming, right? She closes her eyes slightly as she keeps on scribbling, clearly focused in her head and no longer on the paper.

She hears a voice. It starts soft, but it is getting louder and stronger. Is that a piano? Suddenly, Sayori is thrust into a spiral of emotions that aren't her own, but are about her. That voice. She knows that voice. It's Monika. She sounds like she's playing her heart out about.... about her.

Sayori jolts back to reality in a loud choking gasp as it seems like she had stopped doing everything while she was under. How...how long had she been sitting there like that, just staring at herself in the mirror? She shakes her head as she tries to brush off the wave of nausea while something catches her attention nearby. Her canvas.

All the hearts and cows and all are still there, but now a very detailed sketch of Monika's anguished face stares back at her. Mid-lyric even, it seems. Tears welling up in her eyes, just like Sayori's are now. She chokes out a sob as she tries to understand what the hell that just was. She knows it had to be real and happen to her because this sketch wasn't here before, but it is literally her handiwork. She knows her own style.

The young woman shakily brushes her fingers along the sketch, unsure of what to do or say. She kind of just slumps into her desk chair and holds her face in her hands, crying quietly to herself. What could she even say?

"........ I don't belong herrrrre............I don't belooooooong herrrrreee..........I don't...... belooooooong........"

She sniffles as she tries to wipe her face and nose, clearly a bit shaken by this experience. She stares at her sketch again, seeing how hurt Monika still looks even through a drawing. She needs a moment to collect herself. The young woman goes to get up and head to the kitchen. She figures that some food might help calm her down enough to figure out what happened and...and maybe call Monika about it later. It hurts a little too fresh right now to focus, otherwise.

However, another song starts pouring out of her own heart that starts to override the sad feelings from Monika's feedback. This one is a little more accurate for them both, she feels, and she'll see how Monika feels about singing it together with her later. Who knows? It helps some of her students to sing, why not her best friend and girlfriend?

"........I see the crystal raindrops fall and the beauty of it all is when the sun comes shining through....to make those rainbows in my mind, when I think of you sometime, and I wanna spend some time with you...~"

"Just the two of us...we can make it if we try! Just the two of us...just the two of us...~", hums the peachette softly while making a surprisingly normal sandwich for once. A little fictitious chicken, some fresh green romaine lettuce, a splurt of mustard and some multi grain bread.

It seems that Monika's life choices are being taken seriously by Sayori enough to at least try being better about how she eats. That means a lot for Sayori to willingly give up a lot of her favorites to try and understand someone else's point of view. She puts a few together, puts everything on else away and munches along quietly as she thinks things over still. This is going to be quite the weekend, it seems.

".......Just the two of us, building big castles in the sky....just the two of us........you and I.......~"

[aragarna]

🌿💞

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Powerful! LOL no but seriously, when I first writing fanfictions, it really felt like I discovered a magic power. The power to visit my favorite universe at will. Writing means I can stay with the characters after the cameras stopped rolling. I can stay with them a little longer. Hold their hands, a little longer. And of course, I can fix things, I can imagine the future, I can imagine all the happy reunions, the happy-ever-after, the kids growing up. The AUs, the craziest crossovers.

And writing, the act itself of thinking a sentence and typing it down, it feels like a shot of endorphine. It makes me all fuzzy inside as I'm spending time with my beloved characters, just as if I was watching the show.

For some reason, it's a bit different with art. When I'm making art/manips, of course, working on a subject or with a model that I appreciate staring at is always a bonus, but generally, making art, for me, feels more like craft, manual work. Probably because (for me, who can't actually draw) it's more about mastering Photoshop tools than anything and finding the best starting material, so it feels more technical. There's a whole process, that is actually longer than the creative part of coming up with the ideas and the design. But it is also a relaxing activity in its own right, and there's a real satisfaction in looking at the finish product on my screen.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The FEELS. Angsty or fluffy (ideally angsty then fluffy!). So I guess it's the characters, and giving them challenges to overcome. Plots (or more accurately, settings), are just a way to set that up. Even if I come up with a plot idea first - like say, what if I was writing a WC/Forever crossover - then I'd try to figure out what would make it "fun". Someone has to become immortal. There's potential for angst there. Peter's been shot, dying. Neal's desperate. Neither of them know it's gonna be fine. Oh all the usual angst. You're my best friend, take care of El, etc... And he *really dies*. But disappears. MORE ANGST and confusion and dispair! But, then, twist! Peter walks back naked and wet, embarrassed and furious. Confused and cold. Comfort, happiness, fluff, and of course, LOLz. Gotta have Diana and Jones making fun of Peter. Or, depending on my mood, I can go a more fluffy way right away. In a world where Forever and WC coexist, Mozzie and Abe *got* to know each other. They'd totally be friends. Henry would have a lot less patience for Mozzie's excentricities. BUT Mozzie would totally figure out Henry's secret. So from there I just set up a meeting. Mozzie forge fake papers, Henry would need new papers every 10 years or so.

See, it all writes itself! (it just needs a lot of rework cause I'm stuck with plot, cause clearly plots aren't my favorite parts!)

Character interactions and feelings, I think that's the main thing for me.

Though I also have to note that all those different aspects are important in the final product. I do care about grammar. I do care about finding the correct phrase, or a coherent plot/setting. And I also very very much care about keeping characters in-character.

Wow that got longer than expected! I guess those were good questions! Or maybe I'm just procrastinating LOL Thanks for the ask <3

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck Upd8 - 12/17/2023

I'm pretty sick, but not sick enough I'm not gonna read the upd8. Let's do this! Calliope! Missed my Muses. Oh! Teasing us with free Jade! Boo!

Uh . . . what's going on with this Jade . . .

What . . .

I'm not liking this . . .

Aradia? What's going on?

Okay . . . now there's two of them. I thought the whole point was that they only won that battle the one iteration. But Paradox Space is infinite and . . . you know . . . full of Paradoxes.

Hah! Love the callback to characters regarding each other. So apparently this isn't the first time this has happened. Apparently Dead Calliope has done this before. And also apparently, they always need a host body to exert the kind of control we've seen.

This is giving me some God Tier splinter vibes. The whole idea that becoming a God Tier eventually exposes you to all the version of yourself, as we've seen with consequences.

The fact that Aradia and Davebot aren't worried unfortunately doesn't fill me with comfort.

Okay! I'm loving this dynamic. Now I'm really wishing Dave had been able to try and give Aradia the business after Terezi got John killed. This is fantastic!

Whew! For a second there I though Aradia was peacing out again. But she peaced back in. Crisis averted!

We're getting into some discussions about the timeline. It's interesting because the Live Blog that inspired me, Discard and Draw, spent quite a bit of time analyzing the dead John timeline from above. The timeline Terezi created by messing with John, and more accurately by Dave turning Cal into a sprite, was doomed. That timeline wouldn't result in the Lord of Time's stable time loop, and couldn't exist. But if that timeline hadn't happened, Dave couldn't come back and stop the prototyping and John's death in the first place. The same is true for all the dead Dave's and doomed Aradia-bots. So if that's the case, what really counts as an "important" timeline.

Also, it looks like becoming a robot hasn't help Dave deal with his sexuality much. He could just be falling back on gay jokes, but I think that's something he's still dealing with in this timeline.

Hah!

And we will never know . . .

And now Calliope is once again possessing "Jade".

I'm not gonna lie. I unabashedly loved every moment of that!

So it definitely looks like we've gotten a little bit of insight into just how Calliope's powers work and a bit more introspection on Homestuck's timeline. Maybe this is a hint that the HICU is going to be looking at threads the community was interested in and potentially explore them in this new iteration. Maybe we'll see Boot's beloved Inversion Theory make a come back.

Also, a side note as an AraSol fan: I love the short little glimpse into their relationship. At least that was how I interpreted it. I'm sure other people might read a different relationship, but that feels pretty in tune with what we've seen for Sollux and Aradia, regardless of what you think the nature of that relationship is.

[unrealward]

The last few posts are, like I said, from my high school AP drawing and painting portfolio (By the way, the theme of the concentration was "Transformations of the body". Does it read?)

I have some complicated feelings about the work. Below the cut I share some musings about it.

Warning, this story is about classroom abuse.

My high school art teacher was hypercritical, controlling, and at times coercive. In other words, abusive.

Because we, her students, regularly won awards for our work, she continued mostly unchallenged by the school. She was working there for over 15 years.

I was her favorite, so I was spared the worst of it, but that isn't the kind of privilege you're happy to have. Favoritism is conditional on obedience, and in this case, achievement through technical skill.

I generally try to make the best of any situation--Call it resourcefulness, or opportunism. I tried to explore and express my ideas while still getting her approval to go forward with the pieces--At times a lengthy process. I knew to keep my most vulnerable ideas to myself. She might have vaguely known that I enjoyed manga, cartooning, and surrealism, but I kept it hidden. Everything I brought to the table was a sacrificial lamb.

It's a particular kind of violation to not just lack ownership over your own ideas, but even your physical output. For some students, she would actually paint or draw over parts of the work to "correct" them. This only happened to me once or twice, and I usually managed to paint back over her work without a fuss. But even if I only dealt with it in the ideation process, all of my work from that time inevitably still has her hands on it.

I decided pretty early on, unrelated to her class, that I was not interested in pursuing art professionally. As I approached graduation, adults in my life would constantly encourage me--"Don't let this talent go to waste! Don't stop drawing, okay?"

It was difficult to understand. Drawing is reflexive to me. I couldn't really imagine a world without it--Even a "me" without it.

And that's still true in a lot of ways. I don't think I can ever put the pencil down completely. But certainly, I've had to make time for it, and it's no longer my biggest priority. There are weeks, probably months I've spent without drawing much of anything. It's been years since my last oil painting. I miss drawing with colored pencils.

In high school, I had some hundreds of hours dedicated to nothing but making art--But only under the hawkish eye of the teacher. I could make these highly developed pieces because I simply had the time to do so. If nothing else, I enjoyed the technical process.

If I want to make work of this caliber again, I have to devote a similar amount of time--And as an adult, time is on quite the premium.

When I make art, I never think of high school. Regularly I forget it ever happened. Wisely and tragically, I knew how to compartmentalize.

In the absence of acute pain, what I carry is more insidious--That strategic disconnection, that permanently-guarded heart. The sharpening of my abilities such that I appear as a whole self when I am sharing just a sliver.

There isn't some grand moral to the story here. The abuse neither actively haunts me, nor can I say I have recovered from it. It simply happened. But I know a lot of students were turned off from art, maybe forever, because of that teacher. They carry medals that don't feel earned. They struggle to find an artistic voice amidst the din.

At times, I need to make art to understand how I feel. Other times, I need to understand how I feel to make art. I can't help but see the image of things I want to create, even if I don't know how, even if I'm not ready.

Obviously, there's life after this kind of abuse. I'm living it. More than giving me new baggage, it's more accurate to say it codified existing problems. Anyways, I'm sharing this old art because I want to claim the past as mine, even if it's painful or embarrassing.

I'm hoping to make more art soon. I am trying to unbind myself from careful strategy and intention and to create things that bubble up from my subconscious. There are ideas I have held onto for years that are just waiting for me to create them. Even if it's slow or difficult, I hope I can share them with you some day.

Thanks for reading.