#massively annoyed by my boss

[moonstonediaz]

…

[risingsunresistance]

lost a follower, you will not survive the winter

[daughterofhecata]

.

[sadlazzle]

ive dedicated myself to beating malenia before i go to radagon/elden beast. maybe placidusax too but he’s getting on my nerves tbh so we’ll see how it goes

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

.

[astonmartinii]

head in the clouds | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem flight attendant!reader

there's no one more attractive than the stranger at the same gate as you at the airport and sometimes that stranger works on your best friend's private jet.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 3,105 others

yourusername: violently hungover, don't tell my boss x

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user1: i need to be her

maxverstappen1: your boss follows you on instagram genius

yourusername: oh yeah lol but i'm still alive and i was still on time

maxverstappen1: you took a nap on the flight?

yourusername: it was about ten billion hours long so spare me the lecture

maxverstappen1: you're so lucky we're friends otherwise i'd fire your ass

yourusername: you love me too much to do that maxy (and i know way too much about you) x

user2: how did you get this job?

yourusername: nepotism babes x

danielricciardo: i think you masked it pretty well for the first three hours

yourusername: THANK YOU

danielricciardo: but i did hear you throw up around hour four

yourusername: nothing like a tactical chunder on your childhood friend's private jet

landonorris: i for one couldn't tell you were hungover

yourusername: well look who's my new favourite, you should fly with max more often

danielricciardo: he's only saying that cause he has a crush, I'M STILL YOUR FAVOURITE

yourusername: whatever helps you sleep at night x

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,566 others

tagged: danielricciardo

landonorris: reunited and it feels so good 😊

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user3: always obsessed with this pairing

user4: they're cute but i know they're so annoying to fly with

danielricciardo: i knew you missed me :)

landonorris: of course i did you big sap

danielricciardo: so you didn't replace me with a younger and sexier version of me?

landonorris: not technically no

oscarpiastri: i'm just gonna take the compliment, thanks dan :)

danielricciardo: massive compliment, i'm extremely sexy

user5: thank the lord daniel is back who was going to make lando blush all the time?

danielricciardo: believe me he doesn't need me to do that when he flies on air max that's all y/n

landonorris: DANIEL?

danielricciardo: she took these photos - look at the blush. LOOK AT THE MATERIAL

yourusername: i think i'm just a better photographer than you two combined so i just capture my subjects well

danielricciardo: nope. i think lando just has a BIG FAT CRUSH

maxverstappen1: LMAO

yourusername: who wouldn't? (i'm shaking)

user6: wtf is going on here?

user7: i think we're witnessing bullying

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 892,330 others

tagged: georgerussell63, alexalbon, landonorris & yourusername

maxverstappen1: getting some padel in on the weekend off

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user9: max really puts his hyperfixations above his beef because who thought we'd see him playing with george after baku

danielricciardo: how did lando get through a whole session with y/n there he can barely get through a sentence around her

landonorris: why are you so obsessed with exposing me in public

danielricciardo: funny.

yourusername: he did very well, he took a few balls to the face but he took them like a champ.

maxverstappen1: i'm sure he'd rather be the one putting balls in your face. get it? his balls? sex?

yourusername: i got it, you're not funny pal

maxverstappen1: well i think i'm hilarious so

user10: poor lando is going through the ringer rn

yourusername: whipped all of your asses call yourself professional athletes?

alexalbon: you were freakishly good what is your trick?

yourusername: only time i'm not playing padel is when i'm asleep or on a charter with max it's the only thing i can be better than him in

landonorris: you're definitely better looking than him and like 10 million times nicer than him

yourusername: you're not too bad yourself norris, you've just bagged yourself an extra bag of peanuts next flight x

alexalbon: romance is dead

f1wagsupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,109 others

tagged: yourusername

f1wagsupdates: this is y/n y/ln potential new girlfriend of lando norris. she is a close friend of max verstappen, to the point that after she finished university and was without a job, he financed her education to be a air hostess, the job she now has on max's private jet. as far as we know she's never been in a public relationship but she also lives in monaco, is a padel enthusiast and has exchanged flirty comments with lando. also, she's a real one because she refuses to charter if jos wants to fly on air max - she slays for that one

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user13: if she's a longtime, potential childhood friend of max, the jos thing probably makes sense

user14: gosh she's so pretty

user15: giving your bestie a job and a life where you get to have her travel with you everywhere is really what nepotism should be

user16: for real where's my friend who will pay for me to learn to be a air hostess so we can hang out all the time

user17: i think her and lando would be cute

user18: and they would also make sense, they'd have a schedule that completely lines up and y/n would understand the sport and the lifestyle

user19: she also knows all of his friends already and they seem to get on with her

user20: "never been in a public relationship" she's just like us

user21: except she's gonna pull lando freaking norris and we're all still lonely

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 17,098 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: THE way to spend your saturday, perks of the job x

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user22: hey siri play that should be me by justin bieber

maxverstappen1: glad you could take a break from being a tourist to actually come watch me

yourusername: lies i'm always there you just don't know because i sit in hospitality so i can drink ;)

maxverstappen1: is that why my mum looked so happy to see me after sitting with you in hospitality?

yourusername: NO! sophie just loves me

user23: omg y/n and sophie just chill in hospitality? i love them

landonorris: i heard mclaren have great hospitality and actually has a cup of tea with your name written all over it

yourusername: hmmm we'll see if it beats the team who broke the cost cap on catering but i'm willing to take that risk

landonorris: i promise it's worth your time

danielricciardo: @maxverstappen1 look he's finally making a move 👀

maxverstappen1: ugh finally !!!

yourusername: yall mind? ACTUALLY i'm not coming back to red bull you're annoying

user24: has the bullying worked ?

mclarenf1

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 1,093,455 others

tagged: landonorris

mclarenf1: lando is back on the podium with a p2 finish with oscar just behind in p4 congrats papaya boys!!

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user25: LET'S GOOOOOO THE WIN IS COMING I CAN FEEL IT

oscarpiastri: congrats lando :)

landonorris: your podium will come oscar you're killing it right now

user26: omg faves i can't wait until the double podium

user27: y/n in the likes ..... 🤔 makes you think

yourusername: idk what you conspiracy theorists want to hear but you don't need to know everything that happens in the drivers' personal lives and i can like posts of my friends doing well

user28: so you're not together

yourusername: you people have the reading comprehension skills of a rock

maxverstappen1: congrats mate, try not to get too drunk tonight, air max is scheduled early in the morning 👍

landonorris: i'll be there no worries

danielricciardo: of course he will, his favourite will be there

landonorris: laugh all you will but i have a pack of peanuts promised to me

yourusername: i'll put salt in their drinks don't worry lando

maxverstappen1: i have done nothing wrong?

yourusername: i am in solidarity with lando

maxverstappen1: i'm ur best friend?

yourusername: he's cute :)

user29: you can't tell she doesn't like him back

danielricciardo

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,209,778 others

tagged: yourusername, landonorris

danielricciardo: podiums give you balls. balls get you girlfriends.

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user32: HOLYYYYYYYYYY SHIT

maxverstappen1: they are not awake yet lol they're going to kill you

danielricciardo: i'd like to see lando try. y/n i am afraid of though.

maxverstappen1: you should be, a girl once threw a drink over me in the club for walking into her and y/n went feral. i was afraid and impressed

yourusername: had to protect your virtue max

maxverstappen1: much appreciated, probably the only time i've been attracted to you

landonorris: AND THE LAST TIME

user33: considering their new relationship just got exposed, they're doing pretty well

yourusername: oh we're waiting until daniel is in an enclosed space where if he tries to escape we all die :)

landonorris: he's going to regret this before such a long flight, esp with a hungover y/n

danielricciardo: is it too late to say i love you guys?

yourusername: free enchante merch and i'll drop it

danielricciardo: done.

landonorris: Y/N???

yourusername: what were we really going to do? plus i've had a crush on you for so long people would definitely know by now if i wasn't dead in bed

landonorris: you had a crush? why was i the only one getting bullied?

maxverstappen1: please refer to my comment about the feral club night

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,237,903 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: on a scale of 1 - 10 how annoyed would you be if someone joined a particular club on your private jet?

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user35: THE MILE HIGHER CLUB?

maxverstappen1: you're banned from the bathroom now, get a UTI i don't care do NOT shag on my plane

landonorris: so is that a 10 definietly not?

maxverstappen1: i will make sure you will never be able to use it again if you have sex on my plane with my best friend

landonorris: understood 😅

yourusername: i don't know how you did it but you made your first post about me even less romantic than dan's and his mentioned balls TWICE

landonorris: but i love you so that's all that counts right?

yourusername: i love you too but i also clean that plane so no one will shag on it or i'll scrap them

landonorris: i get the message no mile higher 😭

yourusername: but at least you get extra peanuts and the best pillow for life

landonorris: you spoil me too much

oscarpiastri: happy for you mate, it was painful watching you mope around the garage

yourusername: awww you moped ???? that's so cute

landonorris: i moped because i really liked you and daniel made it his mission to embarrass me constantly in front of you

yourusername: babe i've cleaned dan's sick off the floor of the jet nothing he could say could make me not like you

landonorris: thank the lord cause if i didn't ask you out i think i may have combusted

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 30,987 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: the 4am call times and mad max tantrums have all been worth it to meet you <3

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user36: god i have seen what you have done for others

maxverstappen1: now you're together i can say this, 1) i love you guys and i'm glad you're happy. 2) lando saw you once at a karting competition and had a crush ever since this was not new

landonorris: THAT WAS BETWEEN ME AND YOU

maxverstappen1: and he confessed that seeing you in your uniform is what finally pushed him over the edge

landonorris: STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING

maxverstappen1: bro don't worry you guys are together, you're set for life

landonorris: thanks for having faith i guess?

maxverstappen1: BRO SHE IS SUPER DUPER IN LOVE WITH YOU

yourusername: he's not wrong

landonorris: hehehehehehehehe

oscarpiastri: he's literally sat in hospitality giggling and kicking his legs btw

landonorris: proudly so, my gf LOVES me

user37: lando got a gf before a win and i respect that

landonorris: i love you, can't wait for the rest of my life with you

yourusername: i can't wait, i'll even play golf with you x

danielricciardo: mate at least wait until the six month mark before you propose

landonorris: no promises x

note: hope you enjoyed, had this thought and i just had to do it. i'm working on requests and mamma mia p4!!

[cry4mina]

No Lights, Only Tzu

(Tzuyu x gn!reader)

Word Count: 8.8k

Summary: Staying late at the office on a Friday to finish a report your boss gave you last minute was annoying. Even worse, a massive storm is headed your way. This leads you to company you weren’t expecting and bonding you’ll never forget.

TW: Food mentions, kissing, small make out moment, cuddling and doggos.

A/N: Happy 5 Months to Cry4Mina! I can’t truly cannot believe it’s been 5 months since I started posting and it’s been insane for sure but I truly enjoy it so much and I appreciate you all taking time out of your lives to read the product of my brain rot! Lmfaooooo

Fluff is not my favorite thing to write but I did enjoy getting a little lost in this one. Per @ghostykapi saying “Gib” at the mention of wanting to write Tzuyu fluff lmaoooo

Bless and thank @raainberry and @myouicieloz for helping with names/titles/helping me not go insane while attempting the fluff 🖤

Thanks for reading!

As always, DMs and asks are always open! 🖤

The silence of the office is deafening, it’s late on a Friday night and of course you’d be stuck finishing a report that your boss had gave you at right before the day ended.

“Please, have this in my inbox by midnight, Y/n. It’s very important that we get this to the clients tonight.” mocking you boss’ voice and tone as you fill in the last two boxes with the research requested.

Glancing down at your watch, it reads 8:45pm, way too late to be in this grey washed building any day, let alone a Friday.

Phone on the desk, vibrating with weather warnings that you’ve been ignoring all day. Taking just a moment to check what all the interruptions were throughout the night.

“Thunderstorm warnings…great.” typing even faster, trying to beat the rain.

A sigh of relief leaves your lips as you finish crunching numbers and send the report off to the appropriate parties.

“Finally!” Exclaimed victoriously, arms shooting up over your head to celebrate being able to leave, happy to start your weekend but also worried about driving in the storm that was about to drench the town.

Packing up your stuff, meticulously placing everything scattered across your desk in your briefcase and grabbing your blazer, not even bothering to put it on, before basically running to the elevator and slamming the “down” button.

The doors slide open, you step over the threshold only to press “Lobby” three times rapidly not willing to wait for the elevator to register that you were in a hurry.

It’s time to get out of this building.

Tapping your foot, waiting for the doors to open again so you can make your way to your car. The ding like the start of a race, taking large hurried steps through the lobby of the building and waving to the receptionist on your way out.

Automatic doors robotically opening to reveal a stormy night sky. You can see the outline of the moon behind the threat of the downpour and the scattered patter of rain from the storm that was threatening to drench the town.

“It’s going to be a rough one! Be safe on your way home.” A small velvety voice softly rings out, stopping you from taking a step down the stoned staircase towards the parking lot.

Turning to see who it was, it was the girl from the 4th floor. Tzuyu. Leaning against the stone column and seemingly annoyed but cheery enough to greet you.

Grace displayed in every move she made as she toyed with her side bag, running her fingers through her hair nervously, her eyes scanning the almost empty parking lot and then immediately looking down at her hands still tinkering with the zipper.

Tall but delicate, her long dark pin straight hair framing her face perfectly before landing elegantly on her shoulders. The black trench coat she wore was left open, allowing her business professional outfit of a pastel pink silk blouse tucked into a pencil skirt to peak through.

A polite smile that dawned on her face when she realized you weren’t going to just walk past her and wave, causing a flutter in your stomach, which would have stopped you had you not already frozen in place by her siren voice.

No wonder everyone had an innocent work place crush on her.

But why was she waiting out front?

“Thank you…Tzuyu, right?….are you okay out here? It’s late…shouldn’t you be at home too?” looking back at the sky and gesturing out, referencing the storm about to unleash its wrath on the city.

“Well, I’ve been waiting for an Uber but they keep cancelling because of the…” mimicking your gesture in a dramatic fashion, “so I’m stuck here until someone accepts the ride.” Sighing in frustration.

“How long have you been out here?” Concern riddled in your voice.

“Three hours.”

“Three hours?!” shock apparent in your tone and the facial expression you displayed, eyes wide, mouth open and brows furrowed.

Thinking about how she was usually very quiet around the office, she never really said much to anyone but when she did, it was always sweet, kind, or witty.

“Do you…want a ride?” The offer sounds shaky but still meant whole heartedly, the glimmer in her eye tells you that she knows you mean it.

“Truthfully, I was going to just walk but I won’t say no if you’re offering.” Smiling back at you, the gratefulness present in her grin.

“Well it’s about to down pour, I can’t let you walk home like this. It’s also pretty late…so it’s not entirely safe for you to do that. Come on, let’s go.” Waving her over to you so you can make way to your car and opening your passenger door for her.

“Thank you…” softly spoken to you as you got into the other side and started the car.

—

As you follow your GPS to Tzuyu’s apartment, the sky opens up. The once withheld clouds releasing their tears, engulfing everything and much like eyes full of emotion, it makes it hard to see the road in front of you.

Thankfully, most cars were off the road, the highway barren in nature, only reflecting the rain splatter and the hazy lines that were supposed to divide the lanes.

White knuckling the steering wheel and leaning forward, you squint. The blur of the road is impossible to read and it’s starting to feel unsafe. Especially with a passenger present.

“Hey, Tzuyu. I’m going to pull over, I can’t see anything and it would be a little too reckless for me to keep driving in these conditions” Pressing the brakes slowly to ensure not to hydroplane, turning the blinker on and pulling off to the side of the highway.

Pressing the button for your hazard lights, you look over at her to see her fidgeting with her fingers again. She seems nervous in her mannerisms, though still very elegant in the way she manuvers- a loud crack of thunder startles the both of you.

Both wide-eyed, you can’t help but giggle at what’s just happened. She joins you in that and before you know it, you’re both cackling at each other’s reactions to the clap of thunder.

“So, Tzuyu.” looking over at her again.

“What are you up to this weekend?” Trying to make conversation with this pretty human you hardly knew in your passenger seat.

“Well, my parents were supposed to come into town this weekend but because of the storm, they’re staying home. So my plans are kind of ruined actually. It hasn’t been the best week for me.” There’s a hint of sadness being shielded in this response, you can see it in her eyes and hear it in the infliction of her words.

“I’m really sorry to hear that.” Not really knowing what to say next to help her feel better.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I just don’t really get to see them often so I was really excited…” a beat of silence follows, she takes a deep breath and goes on.

“They’ll come another weekend, we just have to find one without a huge storm.” Chuckling at what she’s said and covering her mouth trying to mask the disappointment.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be soon too! I’m sure they’re just as excited to see you.” smiling at her in an attempt to offer warmth to this borderline stranger.

“Thank you, Y/n. It’s really kind of you to say that.”

This is the first time you’ve really had a chance to see her, to really see her. Her doe eyes, shy smile, witty sense of humor that poked through momentarily before getting in the car, and the vulnerability she displayed…left you a little curious about who she is, what her personality would convey to you in this impromptu adventure you found yourself on.

“What about you?” Tzuyu’s calm voice snapped you out of the curious trance you were in.

“Oh! Uhm…well I was supposed to volunteer at the local animal shelter but given this storm going through Sunday evening, I don’t think I’ll be able to now.” a small sigh leaves your chest, you always did love volunteering and playing with the dogs, as you didn’t have one of your own.

“You volunteer too? Which one?!” the excitement that spreads across her face catches you off guard, sparking that thrill in your stomach again.

“The one off this exit, actually!” pointing to the sign a couple yards in front of you.

“That’s the one I volunteer at!” Tzuyu now beaming at you with admiration.

Blinking a few times, your stomach trembles in a way that was unfamiliar, at least in reaction to her. Sure, you thought she was beautiful, but you hadn’t really had any time to get to know each other aside from small greetings here and there. This was the first time you really had a chance to speak with her.

Heart beating a little faster as you watch her remove her jacket, revealing toned arms, and place it over her lap so she can rotate in the passenger seat to face you. Leaning back against the door and getting comfortable, she catches you looking at her.

The blush that washed over her cheeks flustered you, a warm boil in your stomach overturning all other emotions, a glimmering shimmer ascended from your bones that soaked into your muscles, causing them to tense and contract under the curiosity you had for the beautiful woman sitting in front of you.

Tzuyu giggled at your react, seeing your face turn red and you look down to avoid her eye contact.

A small rumble interrupted the attempted transformation into awkward silence. Grabbing your stomach realizing you hadn’t eaten since before you clocked in, at 8am. Looking down to view your hand shielding your torso, your eyes raise to Tzuyu, who was smiling back at you with her hand covering her mouth, covering the expression that was still being screamed through the her eyes.

“I’m hungry myself. There is a 24 hour diner around the corner from the shelter. Do you want to try to make it there? I bet they’re open.” repressing a giggle before looking down to try and keep her composure.

“We might be able to make it there.” clicking the hazard buttons off and carefully pulling onto the highway again, making sure to carefully steer and keep a moderate speed that wouldn’t be too dangerous.

—

The bell on the door jingles abruptly, startling the hostess who fell asleep at the podium, unwilling to blame her for the snooze. Rain always makes you tired and it’s not like the place is lively. Empty seats fill the room, so does the horrid song from the early 2000’s playing in the background.

Dripping wet from running from the car, you look to your right and see Tzuyu standing there, completely soaked. Curling up into her self to try and preserve some body heat, it would seem.

“Table for two, please” the hostess looks at you, then Tzuyu, then back at you and just nods her head, grabbing two menus and setting off to the first table next to her. She placed them at the table before silently walking back to the podium and sitting down again.

You pull the chair out for Tzuyu, this catches her by surprise and she thanks you graciously. Heart soaring as you find your seat across from her. She looks down at the menu, blinks a few times, and then scoots it off to the side.

“I know what I’m going to get, what about you?” curiosity or inquiring on whether or not you were ready to order? Are you overthinking this? *Yes.*

“Hmmmm…well I always order the same thing, so I think I’ll switch it up a bit.” pensively staring at the menu and giving the idea you’re going over it with a fine toothed comb.

“What do you normally get?” There is the curiosity you were just questioning.

“Waffles with strawberries.” placing the menu down on top of Tzuyu’s discarded one on the other side of the table.

“Oh wow, okay…are we the same person? Or is this just a very weird coincidence that we volunteer at the same place and have the same order at the diner that we both go to frequently…?” completely in shock about the other details that have surfaced, realizing that you might have more in common that you have previously expected, even if it’s a small thing.

It’s something to hold onto.

A waitress walks up and stands next to the table, this one you were unfamiliar with. She’s not the one here on the days you stop by while on this side of town for volunteering. Looking up and offering her a smile, she doesn’t acknowledge it and just simply pulls her pen out from behind her ear, licks the ballpoint, and stares at you as if waiting for something.

“Oh, uhm….okay, Two orders of waffles, One with strawberries and one with blue berries and 2 cups of hot coffee, please!” The waitress nods at you, writing down some shortened version of what was said, before snatching the menu’s off the table and prancing into the kitchen.

Twiddling your thumbs while taking in the atmosphere of the place you usually frequent during the day, the warm lighting was pleasant even in the wake of the storm clashing down outside. Yellowed walls from the years of the building being open covered in themed art based off of “Route 66.”

Street signs, a wagon wheel, maps of the desert, pictures of vintage cars, you name it - haphazardly sprawled on the walls in a nonsensical manner. It always was something that made you giggle as there was hardly any sense to the interior design of this place, but you enjoyed the food either way.

Eyes shifting back to Tzuyu, who was now shivering in her seat, smiled up at you through chattering teeth. Watching her as she rubbed her arms for warmth, her hair still dripping from the mere seconds of rain you experienced (an ode to how hellish it was).

You stood up, hastily.

Her eyes followed you, watching as you took your blazer off to reveal a perfectly dry black button down. She gazed up at you, watching as you undid your cufflinks and started unbuttoning your shirt.

“Take your jacket off.” stated as you reveal the undershirt you were wearing under your work shirt, untucking it as you pulled it off.

“Excuse me?” Tzuyu, confused and wondering if she should be upset, halfway glares at you for the statement.

“Oh! Gosh, no. Uhm, I’m trying to help you be more comfortable and your jacket is soaking wet. Let me hang it on the back of the chair for you and you can wear this instead.” handing her the shirt that was thick and dry.

“Oh…” She stands, removing her jacket in what appeared to you to be slow motion. Excitement returns, finding its place in your stomach as you help her out of her jacket and into your shirt. Nervousness taking over your limbs as you shake, hiding it from her.

She doesn’t need to know that you’re feeling this way…that you’re attracted to her.

Sitting down again, Tzuyu has already stopped shivering and can’t seem to hold eye contact with you. A little unnerved, you try to make small talk to quiet the new sensations you were experiencing.

“So, ho-”

“Thank you.” interrupted by the stunning girl sitting in front of you, you can’t even mad at the sudden disruption of the question you were about to ask her.

“What?”

“Well, today has been kind of not by best day at all. I got stuck at the office, the storm outside, the lack of a ride home, my parents not coming to visit, and the you show up and fix almost every single one of those problems…I mean, you even gave me your shirt because I was cold…” her cheeks flush a lovely rose color.

“It’s really no trouble at all.” quietly from your side of the table, what was she implying here?

“This is really making my day, so thank you…seriously.”

“I’m glad that I can contribute to you having a good day, Tzu.” Sides of your mouth pulling up to offer a small smile, now feeling like you’re on the spot - you don’t really know what to do with yourself.

“Here you are, blueberry for you” a plate heavily placed down on the table and slid against the glassed wood that was heavily tarnished from years of the same movement.

“And strawberry for you.” the waitress repeats the movement and slides the fruit drenched waffles in front of Tzuyu before turning around and jogging to get the coffee she freshly made for the two of you.

“Do y’all need any cream? Sugar?” shouted back to the table from behind the “bar.”

“Yes, please!” Tzuyu now cutting her waffles before melting a slab of butter on them and then drenching them in syrup.

The waitress brings the packed of sugar and cream over with the two mugs and the pot of coffee, setting the entire tray down before stepping away and leaving the both of you to your breakfast.

Glancing down at the two mugs, you reach over and grab one.

“How do you take your coffee?” looking up at Tzuyu to see her plopping a syrup coated strawberry in her mouth and trying to chew it quickly so she can answer your question.

“Two sugars and a dash of cream, usually.” reaching out to take the mug from you, you swiftly move it just out of reach from her.

Setting it down just out of reach, she stops what she’s doing and watches you take the sugar packets and shake them so all of it piles up at the bottom of the thin paper before you rip them open.

“You better keep eating” scolding her playfully without looking up. A soft shy giggle is heard through the spoon mixing the sugar around, waiting for it to dissolve in the heat of the liquid before introducing the cool cream to the mixture.

Lifting the mug off the table, you hand it to Tzuyu, hands brushing as you pass the mug. The softness of her hands relaxes you, contemplating what it would be like to hold them.

Snapping out of that thought, you proceed to make your own coffee. She takes a sip of hers and nods her head at the warmth and flavor. She watches you tentatively, noticing the two packets of sugar, noticing the same amount of cream…

“Another thing in common?” taking another bite of the waffles, as you dressed yours the way you enjoyed.

“I actually prefer iced coffee but I wanted to know what your order tasted like.” sipping from the mug and making a face at the flavor.

Tzuyu reaches out and smacks your arm jovially, giggling at the playfulness you possessed when interacting with her.

“It’s just okay. It’s not sweet enough.” poking fun at her now before taking a massive bite of the blueberry waffles.

“Hey!” reaching over to push you lightly.

She hasn’t stopped smiling since the two of you sat down, not that it was an issue…her smile lit up the room, able to lift anyone’s mood, and add a warmth to the dreary night.

Gathering a helping of the blueberries on your plate, along with piece of the doughy fluff on your plate, you take your first bite.

“Oh, you HAVE to try the blueberries!” speaking with your mouthful in excitement of how delicious and sweet they were.

Scooping a few up on your fork with the waffle and the syrup, you lift it up to her mouth and she instinctually takes the bite with no hesitation.

A small amount of syrup dribbled down her chin. You reach for a napkin and lick the corner of it, placing your free hand on the side of her cheek, you carefully wipe the droplet from her chin before turning your attention back to your food.

She’s a few chews deep when both of you realize the intimate moment you have just had with each other.

A flash of heat radiates from you internally, embarrassed at the romantic nature of the action, you look down at your lap - fearful of what the response would be.

“I’m sorry, I know you could’ve done that yo-”

“Don’t worry about it…I took it from you, didn’t I? I leaned into it…didn’t I?” batting her dreamy eyes at you, if you weren’t already sitting down - you would’ve needed to.

Suddenly very aware of everything touching your skin, the air in your lungs, and the sweet flavor of the berries that resonated on your tongue. It’s hard to ignore the signs that you were developing a crush on her, and very afraid of overstepping and scaring her off.

Stop.

Freeze this moment, hold onto the memory and remember it fondly later. The smile, to sweet words, the comfortability. It was unlike anything you’ve ever felt. No need to fear, this is happening naturally.

A film in development, a polaroid in waiting - comparable to what was happening right before both of your eyes.

“So why were you at the office so late today?” sipping the coffee you made for her, humming into the warmth of it, and grabbing her fork to sneak another blueberry or two from your plate.

Tzuyu is leaning in closer to you, elbows on the table and one hand other her chin, the other toying with the fruit on your plate. Sneaking a strawberry from hers, you continue on:

“Well…” letting out a sigh that rang true to how annoyed you were at the day you had.

“My boss sent me a report that needed to be finished by midnight tonight to be sent over to the shareholders overseas…at 4:30pm…when I normally clock out around 5-5:30pm.” rolling your eyes at the though, before glancing down at your watch to see it was 10:18pm already.

“Jeez, that was very inconsiderate of her…especially on a Friday when there’s a huge storm brewing outside.” another sip of her coffee, another blueberry stolen, another shy look through her long eyelashes, another moment to secretly swoon over her.

The comfort that you feel in her presence is…different.

Different in a good way, you were still nervous but not to the same degree. There was a safety here, you knew she wasn’t going to judge you and the anxious was more of an excitement than a fight or flight moment.

Taking the last bite of your waffle, you let a few more of the blueberries fall off onto the plate and watched her as she snagged her fork again, sneaking two and leaving the last two for you. Smiling at the gesture, you pop them into your mouth and enjoy the sweetness from both sides.

“It doesn’t look like the rain has stopped much.” glancing out the window and seeing the waterfall of rainwater cascading off the roof and into the parking lot.

“At least we are full now. I’m going to run to the bathroom and then I’ll be good to brace the storm again.” Tzuyu stands as she speaks, wrapping herself tightly in the button down to keep herself from shivering as she walks to the back of the diner.

Peacefully watching the rainfall down, sipping the warm coffee and waiting for her return, you gloss over everything that’s happened this evening.

Being trapped with a pretty woman in your car, not being able to see while driving, getting to this diner and finding out that she was actually really sweet and that you had a lot in common, the flutter returns once more. Tickling your already full stomach with even more comfort and calmness than you could express. A shit day turned into a lovely evening with someone very unexpected.

Flagging down the waitress to get the bill, she waves your hand down.

“Your friend already took care of it! Have a lovely night!”

Confused, you look up and see Tzuyu coming back from the bathroom with a big smile painted across her face.

“Why did you do that? I was goin-”

“You saved my day and you’re giving me a ride home, the least I could do was pay for dinner or…breakfast?” giggling as she continued to the table to grab the rest of her things.

“Besides, I ate your blueberries.” winking at you before grabbing her jacket and putting it on again. It was semi-dry now, but still damp enough to give her a small shiver.

“Fine, but next time, let me take care of it.” lightheartedly frowning at her.

“Stay here, I’m going to pull the car around so it’s not as wet for you this time around.” You stepped towards the door, buttoning your blazer up and trying to shield yourself from the rain you were about to encounter again.

Bolting out the door before Tzuyu could protest, you hop in the car and turn it on. Flipping your hair over your shoulder to get it out of your face, you pull out of the parking spot and pull up to the door as close as possible to insure maximum dryness in the human you were about to drive home.

She runs from the front doors to the passenger side of your car and hops in, much drier than before. Taking a second to wipe the excess water from her face, she looks over at you and scrunches her nose and furrows her brows.

“Next time?”

“What?”

“You said next time…so next time you’re buying?” so soft it could’ve just been a breath, you can see her hands shaking as she utters the words, she’s nervous again.

“Yes, next time…unless you’d prefer we didn’t do this again?” pursing your lips and checking in to see if that was something she was interested in.

“Well, I think I’d enjoy it more if it wasn’t…you know…violently storming.” gesturing towards the windshield at the obvious damper on your….hang out?

“I think we can make that happen.”

—

Light conversation fills the slow moving car as you make your way to Tzuyu’s apartment. Talks of what you guys would do the next time you hung out and if you should start volunteering at the animal shelter at the same time got you excited about what was sparking between the two of you.

You can’t help but wonder if she’s just as excited as you are.

Pulling off the highway again, you notice it’s unusually dark. The street lights are dim, the traffic lights are flashing and the buildings don’t have any life in them at all. Pitch darkness covers the once bustling area with lifelessness and dew drops.

“Is it always this dark over here?” concern is very present, as you never know what’s lurking in the dark.

“No…I think the power is out…it’s always well lit. I wonder how long it’s been out for…my dogs are probably so anxious and it’s so hot too. I hope they’re alright without the A/C.” Tzuyu starts picking at her fingers, noticeably anxious at the thoughts she was having.

Before your brain could even understand the thoughts you were having, you blurted out:

“Why don’t you pack a bag and come stay with me for the night? You can bring the pups too, of course.” eyed widening when you hear what you just said, you look over at her and see that she has a reaction that is…good?

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I’ve got air conditioning and I’d love to have some puppy’s around since we won’t be able to volunteer this weekend…I mean, if you want to…if you’re comforta-“

“I’d love to.” softly spoken with a very small, very gentle smile across her face.

Pulling up to the building she pointed out as her apartment complex, you offer to come up and help her gather things she might need for the night. Dog food, their leashes, and a bag of her necessities but she politely declines.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quick!” as she hops out of the passenger seat and runs inside, meanwhile you’re just enjoying the view.

—

It wasn’t long before she returned with bag in hand and two cute dogs following her. Luckily, there was a break in the rain so the dogs had time to use the bathroom before hoping into the car.

Tzuyu wiped their feet off with a hand towel she had ready before unleashing them into the back seat.

Shy at first, the dogs are seemingly a little timid in their approach to you. Not really knowing how to interact since this is the first meeting.

Rotating in your seat to face them, you stick your hand out very slowly, palm up so they can sniff and decide on their own if they want to be touched or not.

“Helloooo puppies! It’s nice to meet yo-…wait, what are their names?” looking over at Tzuyu for the answer.

“This one is Kaya and this one is Butter.” pointing them out one at a time and giving the closest one to her a little head pat.

“Hi hi hi!” showing excitement in your most bestest baby voice to get them to see you were excited to meet them, they were very quick to return the excitement.

Butter jumped over the center console and ended up on your lap, Kaya finding her way to Tzuyu’s before standing on her back legs to look out the window. Continuing to talk to Butter in a baby voice, you give pats and scritches, toying with her big ears and giving her every ounce of attention you could before she curled up and got comfortable on your lap.

Eyes on you as you softly coo and pet the tired dog’s head gently, the feeling of being watched overshadowed by the care and attentiveness you were giving to the usually anxious dog in front of you.

“I’ve never seen her calm down so quickly…even for me…wow” petting Kaya as the dog scans out the window - seemingly on guard.

“Really?”

Tzuyu just nods her head at you, looking into your eyes, you see a glint of something…feeling your heart strings play a song you’ve never heard, you watch as the corners of her mouth lift in a very miniscule way. It would’ve gone unnoticed had you not been sneakily trying to take in every detail of her tonight.

Feeling your body start to lean towards her, Tzuyu seems to have the same idea- leaning into you slight before both of you catch yourselves. Straightening up a little and trying to brush it off as nothing, you turning your head back to the road and grip the steering wheel.

“Uhm…you ready?” the sweat on your palms would be visible, if you were willing to let go long enough to look.

“Yes, I’ve got everything me and the girls will need for the night.” there’s a drop in her pitch, a snag in her tone…did she want you to make a move?

Putting the car into drive and heading to the highway again, you make your way to your apartment. The rain gradually picking back up as you pull into your parking garage and whip into your assigned spot.

—

Helping Tzuyu, you grabbed her bag for the night and her purse, letting her carry your two new furry friends as they were obviously more comfortable with their owner than they would be with you.

Hands full, you fumble for your keys. Nervous was an accurate description of what you were feeling, not really expecting to have guests but happy that she agreed to come. You were enjoying the time you were spending with her and weren’t really ready for it to be over.

“After you.” gesturing her and the pups into your apartment with a smile before you stepped in, closing the door behind you.

Kicking off your shoes and walking over to the couch, you toss the bags on the cushion and remove your blazer, hanging it up in the closet next to the door. Tzuyu still has your button down on, holding the dogs and looking like she isn’t really sure what to do as she scans the living room, taking in the pictures on the wall and the setup of the furniture as she places the dogs down on.

“Please, make yourself at home! I’m going to change into something more comfortable. There is a half bathroom to your right, if you’d like to do the same…I’ll be right back.” the clattering of dog nails on your hardwood floors makes you smile, bringing a warmth to your house that you hadn’t felt before.

The tapping gets closer, looking down to see who it was…Butter seems to be following you.

“Alright, girl come on. You can come with me!” leaning down to scratch her head before you and your four-legged shadow go to your bedroom.

Leaving the door ajar, just incase Butter decides she wants to leave, you slip out of your work clothes and toss them in the laundry hamper before snagging your favorite pair of sweatpants and a cropped tank top - just trying to be as comfortable as possible after being drenched by the downpour that was now re-opening up outside.

Butter just sits and watches, waiting for you. Unable to help yourself, you coo and talk to her in the “puppy voice.” She wags her tail back at you and barks a few times, playfully. She suddenly zooms, pushing the door open with her snout and barreling into the living room.

Taking the small moment of alone time to brush your hair out, untangling it and throwing it into a messy bun. A deep breath fills your lungs as you prepare to step out into the living room again. Grabbing a massive fleece king sized blanket out of the closet and a few pillows, you step back into the living room - completely blocked by fabric and fluff.

The dogs start barking at you, cautioning the mass of blanket walking towards them - Tzuyu is laughing at them for causing such a scene when they were just fawning over you.

“I know it’s late already, but we both had coffee so I was wondering if maybe you’d want to watch a movie or something. I know it’s going to take the dogs a minute to get settled…and I did so happen to get a bottle of wine the other day if you wanted to have a glass or two with me while we watched something…if you want…that is…” plopping the blankets down on the recliner that was next to the couch that Tzuyu already was seated on.

She did take the opportunity to change into something more casual and comfortable. A black cropped hoodie and some light gray sweatpants. Seems like she had a similar idea to you. Even with her sitting down, you could see the outline of her abs.

Swallowing heavily, you avert your eyes, trying not to stare…she was just so pretty and so easy to be around…great conversations and the way that she was just so graceful…*Wait wait wait*, don’t get ahead of yourself. You don’t even know if she is feeling the same way.

“Yes, that sounds great! What kind of movies do you like?” She shouts while watching you walk to the kitchen to get a few wine glasses, a cork screw, and the bottle you previously mentioned.

“It’s your pick! Whatever you want!” sliding back into the living room on the hardwood, socks allowing the slip of the wood to coast you to your destination with ease.

“Don’t do that with so much in your hands!” Tzuyu’s arms raise, ready to catch you if you fall.

“You’ve got glass and a sharp corkscrew! What if you fell?” She stands, taking the glasses and corkscrew from you and placing them on the coffee table before putting her hands on her hips and cocking her eyebrow.

“Awh, come on, I was just having fun!” poking at her for being such a stick in the mud.

Tzuyu sighs, shaking her head slightly before taking her seat on the couch, picking up the corkscrew again, sneaking the bottle from your hands and opening it herself.

“Tzuyu, I promise I won’t do it again.” Halfway whined from you as you plop next to her.

“Good.” Handing you the glass of wine she just poured, smiling about getting her way before pouring herself a glass and recorking the bottle.

The thunder claps outside, scaring both of you and the dogs. Barking at the loud sound, they run and jump up on the couch, cowering behind the two of you.

“Awh, babies! Don’t you worry, your Mom and I will keep you safe, okay? Okay.” scratching behind Butter’s ear, Kaya picking Tzuyu to hide behind.

A glimpse, that’s all it was, from the corner of your eye - Tzuyu was staring at you…hands on her chin, small smile on her lips…and that glimmer in her eyes.

Turning your head to face her, she quickly snapped out of it. Unwilling to show you what you’ve already seen, unable to be so forward with what her body language was already telling you.

“So what movie do you want to watch?” another crack of thunder and the brightest bolt of lightening you ever seen, followed by a very loud pop, the power surges and flickers out completely.

You sit in shock…the whole point of her and the dogs being here was to get out of the powerlessness of her own apartment, but now she was in yours…with her dogs…and no power.

“Did you hear that? The pop?” Tzuyu shakes her head yes in response to your question.

“That was the transformer…so…they’ll have to replace it before we get power back on…” the annoyance woven in the words as you spoke them.

She erupts in a fit of laughter, unable to contain it. Her giggle lights a fire in you, boiling your stomach and melting you from the inside you.

The way she covers her mouth when she laughs, the way she’s leaning back and smacking her knees…the infectious sounds pull the giggling right out of you, unable to stop yourself from joining her.

“Oh, that’s too funny! I was wondering when that would happen. “ wiping the tears out from under her eyes.

“What do you mean?” confused at the statement.

“Well…look at how stormy it is outside. It was likely the power was going to go out. Don’t you think?” Tzuyu gestures at the window, the pitch dark lit up by random flashes of lightening and the rumbling of the winds clashing together.

“Wait…so you knew my power was going to go out here too and you still came?” even more confused.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I? It was a sweet offer and I’m having fun with you…how does “Spirited Away” sound?” using her phone as a flash light and going over to her bag to pull out an iPad.

Tzuyu flips open the case of her tablet and sets it up on the coffee table, taking a swig of the wine and getting the movie pulled up as she sits next to you. You’re a little awe struck, unable to understand what was happening in front of you.

“Everything okay?” leaning back and putting her arm on the back of the couch so it was almost around you, you’re facing her with one leg folded in front of you.

Sipping your wine, you set the glass down on the table and return to your previous position but this time, you rest your head on your hand. Soaking her in as she does the same to you, grinning at you a she takes a sip of her own wine.

Very unprepared for what happens next, Tzuyu reaches over and places her hand on your arm. Shockwaves blast through your nervous system, causing your body to clench and release under her touch.

The place where her hand sits on you burns in the best way, an ache that makes you want to curl up with her in the middle of this storm and just enjoy this time together.

“Why don’t you go and grab some candles and that blanket and come sit closer?” Her tone is…attractive.

Tzuyu sets her glass down on the table placed next to the couch, licking her lips to get the wine flavor off them and scooting into the corner, leaving space between the two of you.

Your insides are absolutely screaming, candles? Movie? Wine? Intentionally coming over even though she knew the power was going to go out? Was this…a date? Was she…flirting?

Quickly doing as you’re asked, grabbing the massive blanket and throwing it over top of her lap and going into the kitchen to grab a few candles.

You place them on the coffee table and light them with your emergency matches before sitting next to her on the couch.

Butter and Kaya jump up and find there spots in you and Tzuyu’s lap, she hits play and the movie starts. Her arm present on the back of the couch, you’re tempted to scoot all the way into her…temptation wasn’t enough to get you to do so.

There wasn’t enough proof it was what she wanted and you were way too nervous to act on the impulse of cuddling Tzuyu.

Fighting the urge to hold her hand, kiss her, innocently touch her arm all night, you can’t just…do it, what if she isn’t into it? The comfort of her presence was going to have to be enough for now.

The thought are interrupted by a soft hand on your shoulder, pulling you in closer to Tzuyu until your body’s were anchored together. You interweave your fingers together shyly, being so soft and slow with the movements as if you were sneaking affection.

Face turning towards her to seek permission, after the hands are already entwined, you are met with her face - mere centimeters from yours.

Time stops.

Her nose grazes against yours.

Nothing else matters.

“Is this okay?” whispered to you while her eyes flicker between your lips and your lashes, searching for signs in your body language.

Nodding your head so softly, had she not been that close to you, she might not have noticed.

Your eyes dance with hers, the tango of anticipation for what was coming.

Suddenly, Tzuyu leans in and connects your mouths together in the softest, sweetest, and gentle kiss.

Fireworks.

Heart beat booming to the sparks of what was being created, the foundation of something more being built right before your very eyes.

Parting briefly for a moment, she looks at you and takes in your features, she lets you watch her do it this time.

She strokes your cheek with the backside of her pointer finger, tracing the lines of your cheekbones and moving her eyes back to your lips.

“Was that still oka-” before she can even finish the sentence, your lips are together again. Initiating something a little more passionate, bringing your hands up to cup her face and leaning further into her.

Her hands find their place on your forearms, holding them delicately while allowing you to take the lead. Fingers wandering back to entangle in her hair, you graze your tongue over her bottom lip, asking permission to take it one step farther.

Her next movement showed she consented, bringing her hands to the back of your next and allowing your tongues to meet. Innocently exploring each other, the movements gain speed as you feel like you’re ascending into heaven.

The satisfying ache of your bones drenched in honey, a thickness that could only be described as a sugary, sappy substance flooded your veins and made you instantly addicted to her.

A grandiose crescendo in the movie brings you both back down to the couch, snapping you back to the present, reminding you that this was just the first time you hung out…it was not the time to push it further than it needed to go. Pecking her lips a few times before resting your head on her shoulder, innocently.

Her heart beat is loud enough to be heard, you grab her arm and pull it around you, stretching out across the couch so you both can lay down together.

Her dogs on your laps, you in her arms, her favorite movie playing and the storm outside. All too comfortable and relaxing for the two of you.

You fight your eyes for a while, trying to combat the sleep as it fought for your attention and ultimately lose the battle.

—

The slow build of rain peacefully wakes you, drifting you out of the dreamless sleep, you let out a groan and stretch for a moment, rolling over on the couch and curling up in the blanket that was noticeably missing someone.

The tapping of claws on the floor and panting first thing in the early hours of the day were lovely, even half asleep.

The dogs are jumping on you, licking your fresh morning face and trying to get some love and affection.

“Hi hi hi!” in your groggy sleeping voice.

“Where is your mother? Where did she go?” puppy voice returning while you stand up and survey the room, noticing that the oven clock was blinking so the power was back on, and Tzuyu was nowhere in sight.

Well she had to be coming back, right? I mean the dogs are here, she wouldn’t just leave the-

The door cracks open very softly. A hooded figure steps in with a take out bag in hand, rain drops coating the water resistant jacket that was a little too familiar, and closes the door gently behind them. Taking their shoes off softly, before pulling the hood off…Tzuyu.

“Good Morning, I went out to the diner down the street to get us some breakfast! I thought it might be a nice way to celebrate the power coming back on and our first…uhm…well..” hesitating to say what you both knew it was.

“…Date?” finishing her sentence, smiling at her as you made your way up to her, wrapping your arms around her neck.

Tzuyu places her hands on your hips, slowly inching them around your waist so she can fully press her body on yours, lays a soft peck on your cheek.

Releasing you, on a mission to find your coffee stash and get a pot started for the two of you.

“What did you get for breakfast?” sitting down on the stool in front of the counter, rubbing your eyes to try and remove the sleep from them.

“Waffles. One order of blueberry, one order of strawberry. I figure we could go halfs-ies on them.” pursing her lips, folding her arms across her chest and tapping her cheek with her pointer finger.

“…and miss you trying to sneak blueberries off my plate? Not a chance.” smirking at her, knowing this wouldn’t be the last moment you brought up her blueberry thievery.

Tzuyu winks at you, before going back into her deep thought.

Unconsciously admiring her pensive face, you let her ponder for a moment. Taking in the way she shifts her weight from one leg to another, the way she hums while she thinks as if she’s talking to herself, and how she seemingly doesn’t want to ask for help locating whatever she’s looking for.

Gosh, she’s so cute.

“Whatcha looking for?” coming up behind her, sliding your hand over the small of her back. You feel her shiver under your touch before she leans into it.

“Plates.”

“Are you trying to guess what cabinet they are in?” teasing her before lightheartedly turning her face towards yours, kissing her and whispering, “Top left, over the sink.” With another swift peck on her lips and you’re off to the other side of the kitchen to get 2 cups of coffee for the both of you.

Bringing both mugs back, placing one in front of her on your way to your own seat, she’s already got the plates divided up and is waiting for you to sit and get comfortable before she starts to eat.

Breakfast together was fun, asking about favorites - movies, music, colors, animals, hobbies and just learning different things about each other, with the occasional blueberry stolen from your plate. You made sure to share, with the dogs too.

Plain blueberries, of course.

Sitting there for a good few hours before feeding the dogs their actual food and moving back to the couch, you spend the majority of the day wrapped up in each other, the blanket just adding to the coziness of your newly found crush.

“Well, it’s getting late…” Tzuyu says when the clock hits 8pm.

She stands up, the storm still ever present outside. Getting a ride in this would be impossible.

“I should probably go.”

“You know you don’t have to! It’s still storming really badly out there…and I am very much enjoying your company.” looking up at her from the comfort of your couch.

Reaching out to grab her hand, you hold her by a few of her fingers and look up at her to find eyes of someone who most definitely did not want to leave.

“I don’t want to intrude…” Tzuyu looks at the floor, waiting for you to combat her sentence, knowing you would.

You stand up, her vision following you as tou step in front of her.

You look her in the eyes, bringing your hands up to tug on hem of her cropped shirt innocently, brushing her stomach with the back of your hand while you toy with the cloth.

“You’re not. I want you to stay.” toying with the strings of her hoodie while you shyly tell her to stay with you another night.

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to impose…you’ve already put me up for a night.” giggling at her own comment, before she meets your completely serious face.

“ I want you to stay. If you don’t want to stay, then you don’t have to. I want you to be comfortable. I’m okay with whatever you decide…it is storming pretty heavily outside though and I want you to be safe.”

Tzuyu beams at you, taking her seat on the couch again and ushering you over to her. You oblige, finding your new favorite spot. In her arms.

“Hey, I was thinking…” she starts to ask.

“Would you want to go to dinner with me next weekend? Maybe we could go to the shelter together and then go get dinner afterwards?” her voice shakes, nervousness looks really cute on her.

“I’ll have to check my schedule…” poking fun at her, smirking while you did it.

“I’d love if you could pencil me in.” snapping back at you with the same amount of playfulness.

“I’d love to.” snuggling into her, flipping the TV on while the storm raged outside.

You hand Tzuyu the remote, letting her pick what you watch. She chooses some documentary about animals for background noise, both of you are too busy wrapped in each other and watching the storm to care about what’s on the tv.

It was easy to drift off into a mid-afternoon nap in the comfort of her, feeling so safe and cared for while she runs her fingers through your hair…you’ll have to remember to thank your boss the following Monday for that stupid report.

Maybe even say thank you to the sky for the rain.

[sirfrogsworth]

Hard & Soft: An Explanation of Light

I was watching a video from one of my favorite tech YouTubers, Mr. Whose the Boss. He was showing off some of his favorite tech and pulled out this tiny LED light.

And then he placed a diffuser on the front and said this...

"You can equip a softbox on the front which *massively* softens the light on your face."

Sorry, Arun.

No it doesn't.

I sometimes wish I could get a job as a YouTube lighting advisor. So many creators have to set up and use professional lighting but very few actually have an understanding of how their lighting works. And with just a little knowledge they could up their lighting game big time.

If nothing else, I could stop the plague of ring lights.

Ring lights are my nemesis.

*shakes fist at ring lights*

Arun repeated a classic myth. Diffusing a light does *not* make it softer. And despite the name, a softbox is fully capable of producing hard light. Especially if it is only the size of your granddad's wallet.

I'm afraid softboxes are a bit misnamed—much like how the tremolo system on a guitar is technically a vibrato mechanism. Tremolo is a fluctuation of volume, not pitch. Personally, I just stick to calling it a whammy bar because that is more fun anyway. And, like, what does "whammy" even mean in the context of a guitar? I'd rather call something by a nonsensical name than an inaccurate one, ya know?

What the hell was I saying?

SOFTBOXES!

They should probably be called "light homogenizers." Which is a mouthful, but more accurate.

Or, hear me out... WHAMMY BOXES.

Froggie Note: I am trying a color coding technique to help make the most important information stand out. Red means PAY ATTENTION and blue means "do your best to remember this." Let me know if this is helpful or annoying or if a different color combo is preferred.

Hard Light vs. Soft Light

Hard light is a less flattering light source that creates high contrast, sharp shadows, and accentuates texture.

Soft light is a more flattering light source that creates soft shadows and reduces texture like pores, blemishes, and wrinkles.

You can *only* get hard or soft light by changing the apparent size of a light source from the subject's point of view.

If you remember only three things about light, they should be...

Bright light = sharp photos, less noise Hard light = small light source Soft light = large light source

Now, it's important to remember that hard light is not *bad* and soft light is not *good*. In photography, the oft-used parlance "flattering" just refers to the rendering of facial features and blemishes. So you might use a more flattering lens to make sure faces do not distort or a more flattering light modifier to reduce wrinkles.

But there are situations where soft light can be very boring and hard light can be much more dynamic and interesting. But if you have someone who is insecure about their skin or has a lot of blemishes, you can mitigate that by making the light softer. But if you have someone with great skin and a lot of angular facial features, you might use a hard light to show that off.

Which of these do you prefer?

The one on the left was taken with a 7 foot diameter light source and is *very* soft. But the other had a 1 foot diameter and I think it is more dynamic and interesting.

You can also mix hard and soft light. And with something like a parabolic reflector or a beauty dish, you can even modify a light source to be hard and soft at the same time.

This technological terror of a light modifier is sort of like having 24 individual small lights around the edges but the entire surface of the reflector also acts as a single large light source.

And when it isn't atomizing Alderaan, it is taking photos like this...

This creates a falloff of light around the edges of her face, nose, and arms while also reducing the intensity of the shadows. Lenses with longer focal lengths prevent distortion of facial features but also flatten our faces. So a modifier like this can bring back dimensionality.

Neat!

Now I just need $8,000 to buy the Death Star light.

There are a ton of possibilities when it comes to modifying light sources, but most people typically want the main light on the subject to be in the realm of soft and use hard light sources as edge lights.

Also, everything is a spectrum and light is no different. There is a giant space in between hard and soft to play with. In fact, the hardest light possible would be cast on a subject floating in space.

And the softest light possible would be on a planet that has 100% cloud coverage that still allows sunlight to scatter through.

So, I have determined the surface of Venus to be the most flattering light in the universe.

Look at how dark and sharp that astronaut shadow is! And I'm sure Venusian photography would be quite popular if you wouldn't burst into flames.

On planet Earth, noon on a clear day would be the hardest light and a very overcast day would be the softest light.

How can the sun be both hard and soft light?

Well, the sun is quite large, but it is very small in the sky and very far away. It is the only thing humans can observe that is close to a "point" light source—the smallest light source possible that shines light equally in all directions.

But on an overcast day, sunlight scatters through all of the clouds and becomes a HUGE homogenous light source. The clouds become a singular giant light above us. And as you can see, the light is so soft the woman does not have a hint of shadow on her face. And shadows can draw attention to pores, wrinkles, blemishes, and other textures.

But wouldn't the smallest light source be a laser or something?

When photographers refer to a small light source we mean from the perspective of the subject being lit. This is referred to as apparent or angular size.

But you also have to account for the size of the area the light source can illuminate.

This is the area a laser can light up.

And this is the area the sun is able to cats cast light upon.

It doesn't matter if a laser is close or far away, it focuses light onto a very small area. But the sun lights up half the planet. So look at imagine the apparent size of the sun in the sky and compare its size to half of the Earth. In that relative circumstance, the sun is a super tiny light source.

And the sun becomes an even tinier light source on the moon because there is no atmosphere or clouds to scatter and enlarge it.

You can change the apparent size of a light source in two ways...

The physical dimensions of the light and the distance from the subject.

A light with small dimensions can be a large light source if it is close enough and if the subject is small enough. So a flashlight could be a large light source for an ant if that flashlight is directly next to said ant. But a flashlight could never be a large light source to a human.

However, we can enlarge small light sources with modifiers.

A modifier can be a softbox. It can be a piece of paper. A large poster board. A wall or a ceiling. Anything that changes the nature of a light source can be a modifier. But not all modifiers increase the size of a light source.

So, you can take that flashlight, shine it on a wall, and reflect the light to make a giant light source capable of producing softer light.

But what you cannot do is put diffusion material directly in front of a flashlight and make the light it produces softer.

When Arun put that diffuser on the front of that tiny light, he was not making the light any bigger. He was only making the light more diffused.

What does diffusion *actually* do?

Diffusion scatters light. It makes light bounce in all directions and keeps it from being focused. And while this is an important aspect to making a light source larger, it does not change the apparent size of a light source on its own.

Diffused light is homogenous.

A homogenous light source has the same intensity across its entire surface area. And that homogenization is the key to creating a better soft light source. It can *assist* in making a light source larger, but only if you know how to wield that diffusion properly.

When you shine a flashlight toward a wall, you increase the apparent size of the light source.

Fantastic! You now have a softer light. Mission accomplished.

But if you do not diffuse it, you will create a hotspot.

That bright hotspot will reflect more light than all of the other light reflecting off the wall. That reflected light has different intensities across its surface area and you end up creating TWO distinct light sources—one hard and one soft.

This can sometimes be desired if you want to create graduated light that falls off like I showed earlier. But if it is not controlled well with a specialized modifier a hotspot can cause more problems than benefits.

This can reveal unwanted texture, double shadows, cause harsh glare, and it may not achieve the desired amount of soft, flattering light you were hoping for.

However, if you diffuse the light from the flashlight before it hits the wall, the light will scatter and reflect off the wall more evenly. You will create a more *homogenous* light source that acts as a single entity of light.

Diffusion does reduce the overall intensity of the light, but that is usually a worthy trade off for the increased homogeny.

These pesky hotspots are actually a big problem with those cheap softboxes you can buy off Amazon.

Many of them do not have enough diffusion to create a single homogenous light source. So they end up with a hotspot that gives you that double light source effect.

I was able to fix this with my friend Katrina's softbox by adding a layer of tracing paper in front.

You can see the chip clip holding the tracing paper in place on the right side.

Photography is just problem solving all the way down.

A higher quality softbox will have a second layer of diffusion already built in to prevent this, so make sure the softbox has this feature before buying.

Or invest in a roll of tracing paper and some chip clips.

Softboxes are an ingenious light modifier when built properly. They take a small light, diffuse it, enlarge it, and then focus it toward your subject. It's essentially a paradox of scattered & focused light. And since all of the scattering only happens *inside* the softbox, it gives you great control over how that light hits your subject. And you can focus it even more by putting a grid on the front.

This keeps light from "spilling" off to the sides though it can reduce intensity a bit and create unusual looking catchlights in the eyes.

Whereas a cheap shoot-through umbrella kinda "shoots" scattered light all over the place and causes a ton of extra reflections off the walls and ceilings. That may end up giving you unwanted second, third, and fourth light sources contributing to your exposure.

You can see light hitting the left and right walls and the ceiling—those pesky photons are going everywhere! And while it is giving a soft, flattering result due to that umbrella being so freaking big, you have almost no control over the light and how it affects your background.

So, yes, a softbox can make a small light source bigger, but that doesn't always mean you will get "soft" light.

This softbox takes a 10 inch LED panel and creates a 12 inch light source. This is mostly a scam product.

The marketing says it makes the light softer.

And while that is *technically* true, I'm afraid people are going to be disappointed if they think this thing is going to dramatically soften their light. A small increase in surface area like that would only be dramatically different if you were lighting a little toy car or the hypothetical ant friend I mentioned earlier. Something the size of a person is not going to see a difference in softness. Not to mention you are going to decrease the power of your light by adding diffusion and have no softening benefits.

Photography gear companies love taking advantage of new photographers because the desire to buy more gear to improve the quality of photos is quite strong. This is jokingly referred to as G.A.S. or "Gear Acquisition Syndrome." And while there is absolutely gear you can buy to improve your photos (lights, lenses, tripods), knowledge trumps any piece of gear at any time.

So, no, this scam softbox will not make the light appreciably softer. The only way to make this light softer is to find a softbox that enlarges it more than 2 friggin' inches, bounce it off something larger, or bring it closer to the subject. Move your light as close as possible and you will enlarge its apparent size.

Or, conversely, you can move your light farther away to make it hard.

Meaning you can technically make a softbox a hardbox.

Seriously, can we just do the whammy box thing?

So, what have we learned?

Soft light is more flattering to skin and reduces texture and harsh shadows.

Hard light increases contrast, sharpens shadows, and highlights texture.

Neither is good or bad. Soft light can be boring. Hard light can be interesting. A mixture of the two often produces the best result.

The only way to make light softer is to enlarge the light source.

You can enlarge a light source by...

Increasing the physical dimensions with a modifier.

Moving the light closer.

Reflecting the light off a larger surface.

Diffusion alone does not make a light softer.

Diffusion makes a light source more homogenous by mitigating hotspots.

Softboxes create homogenous light that you can direct and focus.

A softbox can still produce hard light if it is really small or really far away.

We should call it a whammy box.

How can you use this knowledge?

Well, the first thing you can do is...

DON'T BUY A RING LIGHT.

YES, I AM RANTING ABOUT RING LIGHTS AGAIN!

That giant hole in the middle of your light is a great spot for extra light.

And as we just learned, a larger light source is softer. So unless you specifically need a ring light and know how to use it (facial close-ups, camera goes in the hole), you are better off getting the biggest light you can fit in your space.

Look at how much bigger this light is than if it were a ring light.

It's like all of these influencers are throwing perfectly good light into the garbage.

Sorry, let's try this again.

Once you avoid ring lights, how can you use this knowledge?

I know a lot of you reading this are not influencers or YouTubers or photographers. And you may be thinking all of this knowledge I just shoved in your dome is useless.

But here's the thing...

We all take photos.

And I think we all want our photos to look their best.

If you start thinking more about light when you take photos, I promise you will be able to improve their quality.

If you are taking a selfie, think about where you can go that has a larger light source. Perhaps you have a large window. Or you have a big overhead light or floor lamp that shines up into the ceiling.

I actually had this idea to create a mega light that could blend in with a house's decor, but secretly be a photography light for taking pictures of people and pets indoors at night.

Secret Photography Light Ingredients Cheap Floorlamp Dual Light Socket Adapter 9000 Lumen LED Bulbs

(Seriously, if you put that together, stick it in a corner, and turn it on when your kids or pets are playing, you will never have another blurry photo from inside your house unless they are going full zoomies.)

If you are outside on a sunny day, don't stand in direct sunlight.

Remember, THE SUN IS ACTUALLY SMALL, angularly speaking. Find a shady spot under a tree. Or put the sun behind you and face a big white wall so the reflected light smacks you in the face.

Walls are light sources!

The ground is a light source!

Remember that moon photo?

You were looking at the sharp shadow earlier because I drew your attention to the sun being a small light source.

But the surface of the moon... HUGE LIGHT SOURCE.

How do you think the front of that space suit is lit when the sun is behind him? Either Stanley Kubrick has a big reflector offscreen or the ground is a soft second light source.

If you can't make it to the moon, just wait to take that selfie on a cloudy day. I think overcast light is a little boring, but your skin will look buttery smooth without using those stupid Facetune apps.

You can also wait for good light. Sometimes sunset has some nice, soft directional light because it has more atmosphere to scatter, diffuse, and enlarge it.

If you are indoors, don't use direct flash on your phone. Never ever use direct flash if you can avoid it. But perhaps you are with friends and they all have phones too. Use one or more phones to bounce the flashlight off a nearby wall. Or open up a paper napkin and hold it just out of frame and shine light through it and diffuse it.

A piece of paper can even work!

Flashlight 3 feet away shining directly onto my face...

Flashlight shining through a piece of paper a few inches in front of it...

Flashlight shining through a piece of paper 2 feet away that is just out of frame...

I started with a small light source.

I then made the light source a little bigger with the paper, but the diffusion was too close and it created the dreaded hotspot of doom.

And then I made the light source as big as I could by moving the paper as close to my face as possible without being in the shot. This also gave the light more room to scatter and diffuse making it homogenous.

Froggie Tip: I was using a pretty powerful flashlight, so with a phone you might get better results *bouncing* the light off the paper rather than shining the light through the paper.

So, before you take a photo, just think about how you can make your light source bigger, brighter, and more homogenous and you might be surprised how much better you look.

ANYONE CAN DO THIS!

[just-a-fluffy-knight]

Wolverine Tickle-Cannons!

My Deadpool headcannons can be found >>here!!<<

A/N: yeah uhhhhhh no one look at these /j 😭😭 I am aware that I have requests to get to but I do not have enough motivation to complete a fic rn and Deadpool and Wolverine is all I can think about right now sooooo here’s a lil bit of food for y’all 🤲🏻

Another thing: These headcannons are for Deadpool 3 Wolverine only, as I haven’t seen any other movies with him in 😞 so these may not even be accurate and incredibly ooc butttttt oh well :3

⚠️ Another thing!! These do contain minor spoilers soooo feel free to come back to this later 👋🏻 Hope y’all like these!! :]] ⚠️

@neppy-34 I apologise I stole some of your ideas we shared feel free to sue me 😞🙏🏻 /lh

Lee:

Yk what??? Fuck you /pos *slams down a bunch of possibly ooc headcannons*

HES TOO GRUMPY I NEED HIM TO SMILEEEEE

Definitely deadpans you like in the gif above if you ask him the dreaded “are you twordish?” question

But he is :]

Like we’ve all seen that X-Men scene that reveals his stomach is ticklish right??

ALSO. HIS FUCKIN LAUGH HERE (scene from the movie used)

THE WHEEZE AND THE SNORT JUST AUGH (imma get him)

His weak spots are definitely his belly and ribs but I feel like Wade would also scratch behind his ears or under his chin to be an asshole

“Whosh a snorty wittle honey badger, huuuuh? You are! Yes, you are-!”

“SHUT THE FUHUCK UP!”

To add onto this he also cusses like a sailor when getting wrecked

Acts incredibly pissy before, during and after getting wrecked, but lets out these like…. content little growls JSJSGAHSHD IDEK ANYMORE DUDE

Will definitely need to restrain him if you don’t wanna accidentally get sliced by his claws or kicked across the room

Like he definitely cut Wade’s hands off once and he was like

“…Bud I kinda need those to do this-“

“Why the hell do you think I just did that?”

ALSO ALSO the scene in the bar where he was drunk?? Bro literally giggled omg

So he’s definitely an easier target if he’s drunk like his claws barely come out and he smiles so much more 😭❤️

But once he sobers up he acts way more grumpy than he usually does, claiming he doesn’t remember any of that shit even though he does VIVIDLY-

Okay one final thing Wade definitely carries him like a bride to milk the joke that he’s short asf in the comics

Ler:

Y’KNOW WHAT?? FUCK YOU AGAIN /pos (slams down even MORE possibly ooc headcannons)

Okay lemme just start with the gif above??

Like that’s literally him if you’re being annoying and he’s trying so hard to just deal with it but then you drop one joke that really riles him up

“…Okay, that’s it, you little shit-“

Okay I feel like this is something that you’d really have to get his playful side out for him to do, but the scene where he dashes towards Wade on all fours??

Yeah he’d do that in a chase

Like specifically to scare Wade

“Oh, we’re gonna do this? Fine, let’s fuckin go.” *gets down and SCARPERS*

“*SCREAM-!* HOLY SHIHIT SPIDER SOCIETY COME GEHET YOUR FUCKING BOSS-“

(yes I did drop a Miguel Ohara reference because that was the first thing I thought of watching that scene for the first time 😭)

Oh and he’ll definitely wreck Wade to tears if he’s being too irritating

Like?? There’s a way to shut him up that doesn’t involve him uselessly stabbing him because he’ll only regenerate anyway?? Fuck yeah‼️

I doubt he’d be one to tease per se, but he’s definitely a massive asshole about wrecking you

“Jesus Christ, you’re loud. You mind? I’m trynna focus here.”

“This isn’t fair? Life ain’t fair. You’re the one who decided to mouth me off, so who’s really at fault here?”

HED ALSO DO THIS THING WHERE while he’s wrecking you he’ll suddenly stop and be like

“So? You ready to stop being a jackass?”

But you’re still too giggly and busy trying to get your breath back to respond so he’ll go

“No? Alright, suit yourself.”

Buuuuuut sometimes you may catch him smirking or chuckling at how much you’re laughing your ass off :]

Raspberries and tickle bites?

………………….yes

Like bro look at those fuckin MUTTONCHOPS

They would tickle so bad omfg

Like imagine him growling into your neck or belly or AUGHSHSHAHA

okay I’m done

And as a lil bonus here’s some more silly ideas involving ‘The Greatest Showman’ references because we both thought that shit was hilarious 😭😭

AAAAAA hope you guys liked these I am very insane about Deadpool and Wolverine if you couldn’t tell :33

[serenefreakgeekao3]

Can we get a Jim Halpert x short!gn!reader who is just enamored with how much Taller Jim is than them. Like sometimes when they’re trying to reach up for something he suddenly just lefts them up so they can grab it, or if someone is bothering them he uses his hight to be intimating, and they just swoon. <3

Summary: Being the shortest person at Dunder Mifflin comes with a lot of problems- one namely being your boss, Michael Scott, who thinks he must be the newest and brightest comedian of their century. Spoiler alert: He’s really not. Warnings: short jokes (beware),  A/N: So i’ve been called short maybe once or twice, but to be completely honest I’m literally at the ‘average’ mark on the scale so i’m just here, existing in neither shortness nor tallness. However, i’ve always heard the ‘short jokes’ are unending so I figured I’d base it on that? Sorry i know they’re annoying, but hopefully Jim’s sweetness makes up for it

“Aha! There they are!” Michael calls out just as you enter, and you feel a deep sense of regret begin billowing into your stomach. “Winner of the shortest person award!” Michael’s laughter was boisterous, making you want to cringe away from him and just make it to your desk. Just make it there, at the very least. You did literally just walk into work, you haven’t even set your briefcase down yet. Michael thankfully jumps away from you, approaching accounting. “I’m surprised you’re not starting a real cat fight Angela, with how Y/N over there stole your special office title!”

“My official title is ‘Accountant,’ Michael,” Angela reminds him in a wary voice, huffing her displeasure at being spoken to. Michael just laughs and begins shrugging his shoulder against Angela’s own as if they shared a common joke. Angela just looks on in disgust as Michael continues on.

“Catfight, get it? ‘Cause you’re the cat lady!” Angela only scoffs and Michael continues his boisterous laugh, turning and making his way back to his office.

“Michael, don’t forget,” Pam calls out behind you as you place your bag onto your desk, the solo desk in the Quality Assurance position at Dunder Mifflin. You turn to watch this interaction, Pam looking frustrated as she shakes a wad of papers at the man. “You have that appointment with corporate in-”

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t have Pam, god!” Michael pushes the wad of papers away and storms into his office, and you still can’t for the life of you figure out how Michael can switch between emotions so quickly. Your eyes scan the room- mostly the sales department- and wonder about where half of the team had wandered off to. Stanley remained sitting at his desk, but it seemed as if the rest of them had disappeared. You hear a quick ‘Psst!’ and turn to lock eyes with Pam, making your way over at a wave from her.

“Michael came out here before you got here, said something about a massive sale that he needed all of his sales associates to go on.” Pam stage-whispered over to you, and you nod along slowly.

“Ah, that makes sense-”

“So, yeah, that’s where Jim is.”

“Pam-” You start, looking around nervously before skirting around her desk to see her more eye-to-eye without having to stand on your toes. “Shush up! I told you that in confidence!” You watch Pam giggle, placing a hand to her mouth as she does.

“Oh I know,” Pam nods with wide eyes, leaning against her desk faux-casually as she watches you. “Just like Jim told me in confidence that-”

“What’s a couple of short stacks doing back behind this huge desk?” Jim’s voice emanates suddenly from behind you and you jump, turning with wide eyes toward him. He seems to be locking eyes with Pam, who giggles once more with her hand covering her mouth. You couldn’t quite translate Jim’s look to her, but it held some sort of meaning you were sure.

“Oh! Hey Jim! I thought you had that sales thing?” Jim raises an eyebrow toward you, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“I did but then I coughed at Dwight and got out of it. Figured they had enough people as is- but the real question here is: How did you know about the sales call? You weren’t in here when Michael announced it.”

“Watching for me, Jim?” You tease, circling the desk and making your way back to your own. Jim quickly skirted around the desk, following behind you.

“Well, yeah, obviously. You’re so tiny I have to know where you are so I don’t trip over you.” You groan at yet another short joke, rolling your eyes and turning to look at him with an unimpressed look. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“Pam told me where you- where all the sales associates went.”

“Asking after me, Y/L/N?” You scoff loudly, turning to lean yourself against your desk, crossing your arms up at Jim.

“Pam volunteered the information, thank you very much.” You look up into Jim’s eyes and can’t help but feel shrouded by his form. He takes another step closer, pushing you over slightly to lean against your desk himself, and hunching toward you whether he realized it or not. He acted as a sort of shield from the rest of the office, which some days you definitely felt like you needed.

“And why would Pam do something like that?” Jim’s voice was quieter like he was accounting for the new distance- or lack thereof. You stare into his hazel eyes, swallowing roughly. You couldn’t help but feel safe in the shield of comfort that he provided.

“Perhaps because half of the room’s occupants were not seated at their usual desks, which is a rather odd occurrence for a day at work.” You turn, grabbing a random handful of papers and tapping them on your desk. “Speaking of, isn’t that something you should be doing?” Jim laughs, pushing himself to stand from your desk before turning and saluting at you, walking backwards back to his own desk.

“Touche, Y/N!”

“Watch where you’re going!” You didn’t mean to sound too worried as you called it out, but Jim just chuckled, shrugging toward you.

“Why? I’m already keeping my eye on one safety hazard.”

“Yes, because I’m so short, ha ha.”

Coffee.

That’s what you needed today was coffee. Perhaps multiple cups to get through this shitshow of a day. After Michael’s brilliant start to the day with the short jokes, it seemed he had retired to his room solely to come up with more jokes to torture you with. You weren’t sure why it was your turn to take all of Michael’s attention, but you were ready to throw in the towel and leave early for the day already. You could just start over tomorrow morning, no harm no foul! Except then Michael would cry because he didn’t think you liked his jokes- which you don’t- and then you’d have to deal with consoling him for a solid hour before he eventually yelled that he didn’t need pity, and you would respond that it’s not pity- which it was- and spend another hour consoling him of that as well. You would know- it’s happened before.

And now you didn’t even have Jim around to curb the jokes or turn them into something that was actually funny. After your play-fight with Jim, he was then swiped away by Stanley- who apparently was the last one of the sales associates left only because he had his own sales call to go on. He had begged Jim to tag along, and of course the man agreed considering how nice he is. What wasn’t nice was leaving you alone with Michael when- well, just ever really. So if you look at it that way, it really all was Jim’s fault. Stupid Jim.

You shook your head, waking yourself from your daydream as you stared at the coffee pot, urging it to brew faster. It was already filled with half a pot, and you knew technically you should wait for the full pot to brew before pouring any but you really needed caffeine in your life immediately. You wandered over to the drainer by the sink to grab a cup, then hesitated as you realized there were no cups laying there. There were no dishes at all, actually, indicating someone actually came in here and took the time to put the dishes away. That’d normally be a good and nice thing, aside from the fact that you were too short to reach the cabinets above the counter where the mugs were all stored. Sighing, you turn to look for the step stool you usually keep around. (Technically it was the office’s step stool, but you were the only one that ever had to use it.)

It wasn’t where you left it, over to the side of the counter and next to the table. Looking around the room, you couldn’t spot it still. You checked the bathroom, thinking maybe it was in there- there had been a time or two it was moved in there either for use or for storage- but you couldn’t find it there either. You didn’t bother to check the other bathroom, just huffing to yourself and placing your hands on your hips. Glaring upward at the cabinets above the sink, you will the doors to open and a cup to float down by itself. Then when that didn’t work, you got to work trying to stand on your toes and reach up. The handle to the door was just out of your reach, but you should be able to swipe it open, maybe-

You startled at a large hand intercepting your own, swiping you out of the way and opening the door. You set yourself off of your tip-toes, flat-footed now only to turn and notice Jim pressing you in close to the kitchen counter as he reaches above you. He pulls down a mug- your favourite mug, no less- and places it on the counter beside you. You were able to turn around in place, but Jim only places his hands on the counter to either side of you, blocking you in.

“You should ask for help next time,” Jim whispers down to you, and looking up into his hazel eyes has your heart doing funny things. Maybe it’s the crush you have, maybe you’ve just developed some sort of heart-stuttering problem that you’d need to get checked out, but with Jim’s proximity, you couldn’t really think straight to debate either at the moment. You bit your lip, glancing at your cup and back up to him before finally finding your voice.

“I had that perfectly fine-”

“You couldn’t even reach the door, Y/L/N.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I was trying to get two cups, so,” You were just about to turn when Jim lifted his gaze finally. You felt like you could finally breathe- for the one whole second it took for Jim to lean forward into your space to reach above your head. He pulled down another mug to set on the counter, and you pull in a deep breath full of his scent that only serves to make you dizzier. You lift your gaze to him again, shaking your head. “No, I just meant-”

“What, three cups?”

“Maybe,” You mumble out, turning to face the kitchen counter again. You reach up to try your own hand- you would not be two-upped by him- and it’s an even worse predicament than before. At least with the door handle you had even a chance, and right now you couldn’t even reach to touch the bottom of the cupboard. Attempting to stretch yourself further, already on your tip-toes, you were just about to give up when you felt two large hands grab right under your armpits. They heave you up, and suddenly you’re at a height that you’d never really seen this room at before. Quickly reaching forward, you take two more mugs into your hands before the hands slowly set you back down on your feet.

‘Holy hells, how strong is he?’ You think to yourself, turning to lift your gaze back up to Jim. He was smiling, likely on the verge of laughter, though he had yet to. You could feel your face heating up and knew that blush was lighting up your face. What were you supposed to do now? Jim just picked you up, how do you move on from that?

“Four cups?” Jim questions you as he reaches forward to one of the new ones you had grabbed, taking it from your hand to turn it over in his own. He probably chose to grab that one as it was the one you had seen him use the most often, you figured it might be his favourite. You hoped so at least, considering he was able to grab your favourite after just one try.

“Three,” You admit quietly, turning to watch the last of the coffee brew into the pot, “I grabbed an extra in case you wanted some.” Jim’s head shot up to look at you, and you tilted your head in confusion at the reaction. His eyes were wide, and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve said a slight blush was lighting up his own cheeks now. But why would offering him a cup of coffee make him embarrassed? “That’s only if you want some, of course.”

“I do!” He insisted, placing the cup down and spinning it slowly with one hand, staring at you the entire time. You got a little squirmy, reaching out to heft the large coffee pot and begin pouring it into your three cups. “Did you-” You glance briefly up at Jim- who was biting his lip by the gods is he trying to kill you?- before looking quickly back at your task so as to not spill any coffee. “Did you know this was my favourite cup?”

“Yeah,” You replied easily, watching his fingers stop spinning the cup right as you answer. “That’s why I grabbed that one.” You motion the pot over to his cup, watching him jump slightly before sliding his cup over toward you. You pour the coffee before replacing the pot back where it goes. You begin the process of adding sugar and creamer to the cups, sighing softly.

“So, why three cups? You being generous to someone else out there?”

“Nope,” You pop your mouth on the word, smirking up toward Jim before resuming your objective. “I just figured that the minimum amount of coffee I need to complete this day would be three cups, so I’m planning accordingly.” You hear Jim chuckle, smiling softly to yourself and beginning to add the sugar and creamer to Jim’s own- less than you like in yours, but that’s how he normally took it.

“Is that right? Did something happen that’s exhausting you today?”

“Just Michael and his dumb short jokes.”

“Ah,” Jim breathes out, leaning his hip against the counter and looking over his shoulder toward Michael’s office. “Did he do the old ‘appreciate the little things’ one?”

“Followed by a big hug, yep,” You sigh, taking one of the cups and scalding your mouth to take a drink of it. “Had to practically push him off of me.”

“And the miniature golf one?”

“‘Do you just call it regular golf?’” You repeat Michael’s joke from earlier, deepening your voice to mock him. Sighing, you take another large gulp and wince at the temperature. Jim reaches forward, seemingly unconsciously, and slowly lowers your cup to the counter, pushing it away from you. You wonder if he realized you were burning your tongue on it.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Sounds like a rough day if he’s going all out.”

“Oh, absolutely. He also tried out a new one! ‘Sometimes when I look at short people, I wonder if they’re able to reach their goals!’” You turn at this, huffing out an aggravated breath. You had meant to tell this one as a joke, but just as it had hit you off guard before, it was hitting you again. You tried to keep from tearing up, but really- who wanted to work as Quality Assurance for a paper company? Obviously, you haven’t been able to reach your goals and Michael just unwittingly mocked you for that.

“Hey, hey,” Jim began, reaching an arm out to place against your upper arm, noticing how fragile you suddenly became. “That was uncalled for,” Jim agreed, stepping closer to you to tower over you once more, “I’m sure Michael didn’t mean for it to be that bad, he’s just trying to think up different short puns.” He patted your arm, squeezing it once before continuing, “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had to go to his office to look them up. I bet he didn’t even come up with it on his own.”

You laugh blearily, raising a hand to wipe away a tear that had yet to fall, but almost did. Jim began rubbing your arm up and down, and you lifted your coffee cup once more to take a big gulp. You hear the door to the room open, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“Oh, there you are!” You hold back a groan at the sound of Michael’s voice, closing your eyes to try and rein in your feelings. “Hey, I have a good one! What do you call it when a short person says goodbye?” You can hear Michael’s excitement behind you, and while normally you’d feel bad for ruining that sort of happiness, you just really weren’t in the mood for it right now. “Y/N, hey! What do you call it when you say goodbye!” He taps on your shoulder, and you finally turn to look at him with your eyebrows raised.

“Michael,” Jim tries to inject, raising a hand between the two of you. Michael, too excited to stop, jumps up and down before he finally bursts out laughing, his words jumbled and almost unrecognizable.

“A microwave! Get it! Micro!” He laughs again, and you try to find any semblance of care to keep this job, anything to get you to smile at Michael and move on like you usually do. That’s when Jim steps in front of you, moving closer to Michael. You gulp, his whole body blocking your boss from you, and you slowly realize that Jim was backing Michael up to the wall, towering over him very specifically.

“What about me, Michael?” Jim takes another step forward, Michael stumbling on a backwards step. “Have any tall jokes for me?”

“But, tall jokes-”

“Michael,” Jim’s voice lowered, and while you couldn’t see his face you could almost hear how serious it must’ve looked. Michael scurries out from next to Jim, hurrying over to the door. He clears his throat, throwing an undisguised fearful look toward Jim before straightening his suit coat and turning to leave the room.

There was something about that- maybe Jim using his height for you or even defending you from someone you were obviously having problems with- that made you suck in a breath. You knew you were blushing before, but your face felt like an inferno now. As Jim turns to look at you with an apprehensive look, you didn’t know what your own face was projecting at this point. All you kept thinking was that scene, Jim towering over Michael and chasing him away. Jim and his big body and big hands and-

A hand was being waved in your face and you jumped, widening your eyes further and drawing your gaze upward to meet with Jim. He was smiling, laughing it seemed, and finally crossed his arms. “I seemed to lose you there for a second, you alright?”

“Yeah- yes, I’m fine.” You could hear the breathless tone to your voice and cursed inwardly, turning to quickly grab your cup of coffee and drain the rest of what was in the cup. Jim raised his eyebrows at this, laughing again as you place your mug into the sink and grab the second one.

“No, but really, are you okay? Michael has some pretty shitty timing.” Timing, right. You were talking to him about something. What were you talking about? You met Jim’s gaze again and took another drink, hoping to buy time. He only laughs, reaching for his own cup and mirroring you, taking his own sip. His eyes dart briefly down to his cup before raising back to you, something in him softening at the taste.

“I’m fine. Really. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“Of course,” Jim answers right away, smiling and holding his mug close to his chest. “If only I had been here the rest of the day, I would’ve been able to help out before it got too bad.”

“You know,” You were surprised you finally were able to find your voice, taking another drink from your coffee just to keep him in suspense. “I’m now wondering if he ran to his office to start looking up tall jokes now.” Jim groaned playfully, rolling his eyes and leaning a hip against the counter. “‘How’s the weather up there?’ And whatnot, you know?”

“Oh, I know, “ Jim insists, causing you to bubble up with laughter once more. “I think his most recent one was, ‘What’s the difference between a clown and a tall person?’” You raise your eyebrows, taking a drink from your coffee. He smirks, continuing on, “Their shoe store.” You huff a smile laugh, shaking your head.

“That’s horrible.”

“I didn’t mind it that much,” Jim replies with a shrug, watching your face. You wonder why you’re being scrutinized so closely, until he finishes his sentence, “I mean, you know what they say about big feet.” You choke on your coffee, turning and coughing away from Jim. Your eyes were wide, running that sentence through your head. You could swear that you’ve never blushed this often in your entire life, and yet your face heats up once more to its familiar warmth and you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to do with your hands. Placing your now empty second mug into the sink, you take hold of your last one and fake salute toward Jim.

“Alright! And with that, I am off!” You hear Jim laughing loudly behind you, shaking your head and pressing the back of your hand to your cheek. You turn and call back into the room, “To do work! Like we’re supposed to be doing!” The door closes on Jim’s laughter, and you hurry to make it back to your desk. No one seems bothered by your commotion aside from Pam, who just looks at you with a smile and a head tilt. You just shake your head in response, finding refuge at your desk.

“So, drinks tonight?”

“Yeah, drinks sound great!”

“Are we going to-”

“Of course!”

“Hey, Y/N!” You turn your head at your name, eyeing the group of coworkers congregating at the glass doors as they all take turns putting on their jackets. It was Phyllis who called your name, and you tried to turn your brain back on enough to pay attention. After all, work is over now, you shouldn’t need to use your brain anymore. That just sounded exhausting.

“Yeah?”

“Are you coming?” At that you tilt your head, and Phyllis smiles at you kindly, “Everyone is going out for drinks.”

“Oh,” You consider it, looking at the group of them before nodding, your smile growing. “Sure! That sounds fun!”

“Nope!” You jump at the loud sound of Michael’s voice, turning to look at him with wide eyes. He approaches you and hunches down to look you in the eye- completely unnecessarily. “You can’t come!” He stands again, holding a hand above your head, “You must be this tall to ride this ride! Sorry, gotta be this tall to have a drink with the lads!” He laughs loudly, turning to usher everyone out of the building. You stand there gaping, then turn to look at Phyllis, who in turn looked horrified.

“Oh, Y/N, that was-” She huffs, “You’re still allowed to come you know.”

“No, that’s okay Phyllis,” You began, sighing and glaring at the back of Michael’s head. “I don’t think I’d have much fun with him around anyway.”

“Well, since you’re free,” You startle again, huffing when you turn around and come face-to-face with Jim. Well, face-to-chest, but you’re not here to make fun of your own height.

“Jim! You scared me.” You playfully glare at him, finishing up packing up your desk. Phyllis, unnoticed, smiled at the two of you before leaving.

“As I was saying,” Jim continues, circling around to stand right next to you. You raise your eyes to him once more, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. When he takes your hand, your eyebrow immediately falls, and you drop your gaze to look at the sight of his fingers mixing with yours. “Since you’re free tonight, maybe we could go get a drink ourselves?” You raise your surprised gaze to Jim, unsure what to say as he finally continues in a lowered and deeper voice, “Just us?”

“Jim,” You begin, his name more of an exhale than really spoken, “What are you- like a date?”

“I know our size difference is so vast,” Jim playfully insists, pulling your hand twice with his own before tangling your fingers together, “But somehow I think we can push past it.”

“So, a-”

“Yes, a date,” Jim clears up with a laugh, reaching his other hand to place against your cheek. “I promise I won’t take you to a giant’s bar.” You laugh, shaking your head.

“I better be able to fit on the stools.” His smile widens, using your hands to pull you in closer.

“Is that a-”

“That’s a yes, yeah,” You agreed easily, attempting to stand on your toes to reach up toward him. Luckily, at the same moment, Jim leaned down and your lips finally met. Jim’s hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you in closer and you couldn’t help but melt against him. When your kiss finally breaks and he straightens back up, you pout up at him. He chuckles, shaking his head with a soft look.

“A kiss like that and all I get is a pout? I must be off my game.” You laugh, playfully hitting his chest before huffing.

“Not that, the kiss was amazing. It’s just,” You playfully glare up at him, taking hold of his tie, “You’re too tall. I can’t just surprise you with a kiss, you have to lean all the way down here just for it to happen!” Jim laughs, sliding his head from the back of your head down to your back while you spoke and pulling you in closer.

“Well, that just sounds like quitters talk.”

“You’re on then, Halpert.” So, maybe today wasn’t the worst day.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was in a video game, or a video game-like world, and I was aware of it. After failing to defeat a boss at the top of a massive statue, I finally got pissed off and ended up killing my guide with my bare hands because he was annoying me.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Hey babe! Now that I can jump into people's bodies, Im looking for someone you can play around with tn💙 How do u feel about this handsome guy? I found him at the mall

I feel so strong and dominant walking around in this cop! 👮 if you want I can drive his patrol car to your office and give you a police escort home? Or I could just wait 🙄 Id love using this officer's body to scare some sense into those annoying neighbors of ours...

Wow, babe!

You sure know how to turn my day around! My jerk-of-a-boss is making me stay late again! I'd love to rip the uniform off that cop as soon as I get home, but I might be here awhile.

Hmm...

Maybe this lil army boy will change your mind! I pulled him over while wearing that cop, and I literally drooled when I saw him 😜🫡 I ordered him to step out of the vehicle so I could pat him down, and he had to do it! Anyways, I left the cop somewhere on the highway. What do ya think of this new body? I definitely like wearing him...

Wow, babe, just wow! That is one stud of a soldier. I'd love to thank him for his service, but that doesn't change the fact that I've got to finish these files by Monday. Sorry.

Youre gonna work yourself to death babe! But fine 😭 I'll just have to entertain myself tonight. Wonder what that annoying neighbor of ours is up to...

Omg, babe! I just jumped into our neighbor, and he's at work🤯👷

Check out the massive gut on this man! He's such a pig! That wife of his must be a great cook when shes not nagging us about HOA violations! Should I call her as her hubbie and start some drama lol...

Definitely, do not do that!

He may be annoying, but you don't need to end his marriage, babe.

Fine, but can I at least embarrass him in front of his coworkers? This guy could use a real humility check

Do whatever you want with him, babe. I think he could be brought down a peg. Take your time, too! I've got a few more hours left at the office unfortunately.

Ugh! Lemme see if I can change that...

There 😤

I just found that boss of yours and jumped in his body! Now I order you to come up to his office and air all your frustrations with me...

Woah! I'm running!

While I'm up there we're filing some paperwork to give me a raise and more vacation days!

Oh he'll give you everything you want with a sweet little BJ to show his appreciation 🤑👅 just hurry. Your boss is on his knees waiting...

[luffington]

hello author!! your doflamingo smut is how i found you. its very well written!!

could i request a smut with either crocodile or kami enel? my two favorites 💞

i dont have much to request on plot (go crazy!!), but could the reader be transmale and have a personality similar to the one in the doffy smut?

thank you~!

➤ pairing: sir crocodile x afab!reader

➤ word count: 1.7k

➤ warnings: PWP, light bondage, oral (m receiving), degradation, mild pain kink, overstimulation

aww i'm so glad you like my work!! i hope this lives up to your expectations <3 the reader isn't explicitly transmasc but they're only briefly mentioned to be afab!

and i love enel too!! he's more laidback than doffy and croc so i feel like he'd be a little more normal about dealing with a confident partner? or maybe i just wanna bully croc idk

NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu

“You’re getting on my fucking nerves.” Crocodile growled, glaring down at your naked body sprawled out on his obscenely large and luxurious bed.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” With a sly grin, you added, “Maybe a second pair of handcuffs would get the message across.” You rattled the Sea Prism Stone cuffs digging into your wrists. 

He had carefully slipped them on using the tip of his hook, temporarily sacrificing his own strength to immobilize you and drain your powers. As expected, he didn’t ask for your consent, but you never protested. You felt honored to have pissed him off that much, and equally amused by the fact that even his cold, fleshless hook was affected by Sea Prism Stone – something you could tease him about later.

“A tempting suggestion, darling, but I need your ankles as far apart as possible,” he replied smoothly, taking a puff of his cigar and leaning down to blow the pungent smoke in your face. You tried your best not to cough but your lungs gave in and he chuckled in satisfaction. You could verbally provoke him all you wanted, but your body’s natural reactions were out of your control. 

The two of you had an… interesting relationship. You were a high-ranking Baroque Works agent who got a little too curious and dug deep enough into the organization to discover Mr. 0’s true identity. When you marched into Rain Dinners several months ago and demanded to see your boss in person, he almost shoved you into a Bananawani’s jaws.

But you were undeniably good at your job, and you tracked down his identity out of purely selfish interest. You had no desire to reveal his identity to the public or other agents and no ulterior motive. So now you spent half of your time carrying out his orders swiftly and cleanly, and the other half lounging in his lavish Rainbase mansion. Your punishment for your insolence was to become his ‘stress relief toy’. Ironic, considering he never seemed stressed, just mildly annoyed at best. You actually enjoyed your current situation – he was an incredible fuck, rough and unrelenting just the way you liked it. And with all of his luxuries at your disposal, you were certain you made at least double Mr. 1’s salary.

Crocodile’s broad, scarred torso was on full display for you but he still looked perfectly composed, not a strand of hair out of place or a single crease in his expensive tailored pants. In contrast, you were coated in a thin layer of sweat, covered in blooming bruises and hickeys and still panting softly from your third orgasm of the night. You would think he was completely unaffected if not for the massive tent in his slacks.

You nodded your chin at his erection. “You want any help with that or do you get off on blue-balling yourself?”

“Unlike you, I actually have stamina,” he drawled, but began undoing his belt buckle with slow and calculated movements. “However, I do need a break from your annoying commentary.” 

Why the hell would you stop annoying him? He loved punishing you just as much as you loved getting under his skin. Gags always seemed to be a part of your fuck sessions, usually in the form of his scarf tied around your head or ring-adorned fingers shoved down your throat. But his cock was definitely your favorite way of being silenced. You salivated at what was to come, watching with bright eyes as he let his pants fall to the floor and his boxers followed soon after. 

“What a needy little slut.” He chuckled, knowing your dazed expression poured gasoline on his flaming ego. “You can act as confident as you like but we both know you get weak in the knees as soon as I whip my cock out.”

“Well, now you’ve ruined it.” You pouted prettily. “I was gonna be good, but now I might bite.”

“You’d get a mouthful of sand, and I would make sure you choked on it.” Certainly not a pleasant thought, so you kept quiet. He tapped your cheek firmly. “Lift your head.” 

You did as he asked and he slid a second large pillow underneath you, making your neck rest at an awkward, half-upright angle. You knew that dull ache would linger for hours, much like the upwards strain in your shoulders from your arms pulled taut. 

Crocodile climbed on the bed and straddled your torso with his muscular thighs, weight pressing down on your chest just enough to make it uncomfortable. His dick was less than an inch away from your lips. Looking as doe-eyed and innocent as possible, you stared into his cold, dark eyes as you stuck your tongue out. Tenderly licking the tip with feather-light swipes of your tongue, relishing the salty taste of his precum and how easily you coaxed out more of it.

“Very cute,” he snickered. “But you know I hate teasing.”

Pouting, you responded, “You like teasing me.”

He grabbed the base of his thick cock and slapped it against your face repeatedly, smushing your cheeks with the head and smearing a few drops of precum into your skin. “You’re still putting up this arrogant front?” He chided you with a click of his tongue. “I know those cuffs are sapping away your energy. I, however, am raring to go.”

“So stop talking and stick your dick in my mouth.”

Not wasting a moment, he swiftly smacked you with the back of his hand, his heavy jeweled rings biting into your skin. You yelped at the delicious mix of pain and pleasure. No blood was drawn, but you knew from experience that your skin was imprinted. “Masochistic whore,” he said with a delighted and depraved grin. “One more word and I’ll use my hook instead.”

He grabbed the roots of your hair and yanked at your scalp harshly, causing you to cry out in pain, and used that opportunity to finally shove his cock inside your wet cavern. It only got halfway inside before it met resistance as you choked and sputtered around the massive intrusion. Your mouth was gloriously warm and wet and always took his dick so well. The dark-haired man’s head fell back and he let out a deep, satisfied groan at the feeling of your throat constricting around him. 

Crocodile looked down at you demeaningly, grin growing when he noticed tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. As much as he would love to train your troublesome gag reflex away completely, you always looked so lovely when you struggled to swallow his whole length. “C’mon, darling, I know you can take it all.”

You took a deep breath through your nose and relaxed your throat as best as you could, letting his girthy cock penetrate your mouth even further. The dark-haired man sighed when he finally bottomed out, his heavy balls slapping against your chin. He was kind enough to let you adjust to the sensation for a minute before he pulled out halfway and roughly pushed back in, knocking the air out of your lungs. 

He braced his hook on the wall behind your head and began fucking your face in earnest. Delighting in the obscene, wet gagging sounds that tore from you. He wrapped his sturdy hand around your throat to feel the outline of his cock moving in and out. You tried your best to swirl your tongue around his length and contribute to his pleasure, but there was hardly any space unoccupied by his dick. Drool pooled in your mouth and dripped down your chin, creating the perfect little mess for him to gaze down upon. You were such a good cocksleeve for him when you put your mind to it – or rather, when you shut your mind off. 

His cigar never left his lips even as he told you how pretty you look with your cheeks bulging and your mouth stuffed full, and how much his dick missed the warmth of your holes when you were gone. You didn’t dare to read between the lines and mistakenly interpret that comment as him missing you. 

Crocodile suddenly shoved his hips forward, forcing his cock down your throat all the way to the base, your nose buried in his dark pubes. As you choked and desperately tried to inhale, head trapped between his pelvis and the stack of pillows behind you, he leaned back and ran a finger through your slit. Your body jerked at the contact with your abused pussy. He smiled, pleased at the wetness that coated his fingers and steadily dripped out of your hole. “You really love my cock, huh?” In response, you clinked your handcuffs together, trying to signal that you were feeling a little too lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that hole soon.”

He finally pulled his hips back and his saliva-coated dick popped out of your mouth. You coughed and gasped for air, letting more tears and drool drip down your face.

“Stay just like that.” Crocodile commanded and grabbed the base of his cock, using long, hard strokes to push him to the edge. Letting out unbelievably sexy groans and shaky sighs. Your eyes flitted between watching him jerk off and taking in his pleasured expression, the slight blush on his gray-toned face and sweat beading on his forehead. This was your favorite side of Crocodile – his calm exterior cracking to reveal his insatiable true nature. 

A few more strokes until he came with a depraved moan, releasing warm and thick strings of cum all over your face, coating your lips and cheeks and sticking to your eyelashes. You made eye contact with him as you stuck out your tongue and licked your lips clean of the salty substance, leaving the rest to dry into lewd white streaks. 

“This is how you should always look.” His chest still heaved from the exertion of his orgasm. “Covered in my cum, permanently marked as mine.”

“Yours?” You laughed, voice raspy from the previous assault on your throat. “I dunno, Croc, you seem a little too desperate to have me. Why else would you chain me up and pin me down like this?”

Crocodile took one more puff of his almost fully-burned out cigar and snubbed the rest out on the ashtray on his nightstand. He looked possessed by desire as a wicked smile split his scarred face. “Every snide comment you make from now on equals another orgasm tonight. You should consider your body’s limits, darling.”

You mimicked his grin. He was such a fun toy to play with.

[da-floof]

Poppy Playtime Chapter 3. (Spoilers)

Did anyone else feel that despite being given such individualised characteristics-the smiling critters were underutilised?

The fact that they only even showed up in the playhouse as small enemies aside from a VERY brief cameo from Dogday was annoying.

This leads me to MAJOR missed opportunity in the use of Dogday as an immediate opposing force to Catnap: having HIM be the one guiding us instead of this random kid named Ollie who we STILL know nothing about (Poppy apparently does but neglected to so much as give us a hint). I just feel that trying to get the lights on would have it perfectly into Dogdays element and worked against CatNaps sleep/night element. It would have at least given us more character to Dogday as a leader and how he goes about it.

Also we were NEVER even made aware there WERE bigger body versions of the other critters. They went on and ON about poor Theodore nearly dying and the protype saving him (by letting him be transferred in to a body anyway, which is the in game version of ‘my job here is done’ ‘but you didn’t do anything’) but we didn’t hear so much as a PEEP about DogDay or the other Bigger body versions of the critters he references. Massive missed chance for story and gameplay by not having them as antagonists, or even warring factions (half with catnap, half against etc) even a few notes detailing craftycorn painting with kids resulting in half a wall becoming a mural, Dogday being kind and bringing Stella coffee or being a general helper, hoppy stealing Stella’s coffee and going on a bender.

Catnap himself was pretty underutilised despite having creepy moments and the boss battle was just plain repetitive towards the end.

Hell, Miss Delight felt more like a ‘stalking in the night’ predator then Catnap.

There was a LOT more that could have been done with them, or even just Dogday.

[theemporium]

💰 with Lando or Sebastian? You can make it whatever you'd like - Seb Anon

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“Ah, darling, I was wondering when you’d call.”

Your eyes narrowed at the casualness of his words. It was like you could hear the smirk on his face, could perfectly picture the way he was leaning back in his seat, legs spread and a cockiness about him that only someone like Sebastian Vettel could pull off. 

“What are you playing at?” You asked him bluntly, huddled away in a quiet corner at work where your nosy colleagues couldn’t eavesdrop on you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, schatz.”

You bit back the witty remark and the colourful words on the tip of your tongue as you took a deep breath, your eyes falling shut as you tried to remain calm. “Sebastian.”

“Hm, say my name like that again. I like it.”

“I–” You cut yourself off.

Ironically, this had been the first time you had spoken to the German in the last week. The last time you had seen him was when he flew back from the last race, surprising you at your apartment after insisting that he needed to see you. He had made a massive song and dance about taking you out for dinner the following night, one of those fancy places with a name you couldn’t pronounce and prices that didn’t even make it on the menu.

Except, you never made it to the restaurant. 

You sat in your apartment, dolled up and ready just like Sebastian had told you to be, only for him to stand you up. You had been pissed, to put it nicely. In fact, even thinking about it again just enraged you all over again. And instead of being apologetic, he had been so nonchalant and dismissive of the whole event which only pissed you off even further.

And after a week of avoiding his calls and messages, Sebastian had enough of being ignored. But he knew you wouldn’t just call him up if he did something sweet and nice. Absolutely not.

So, Sebastian did the next best thing to catch your attention. 

Since you had stepped into the office earlier that day, it had been non-stop. An array of flowers and chocolates and wines and pastries had been delivered to your desk throughout the day. Your colleagues were getting nosy and curious. Your boss was annoyed at the constant disruption. And you were ready to strangle the German driver through the phone.

“We are fighting, Sebastian,” you deadpanned. “You can’t send me flowers when we are fighting.”

“It’s not just flowers, darling. Did you not see the necklace? I think it would look pretty with that red, lacy set you have—”

“Sebastian,” you hissed.

“Just because we are fighting doesn’t mean I have to be negligent.” There was a pause, and when his voice filled your ears again, he sounded a lot more sincere and genuine. “Baby, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have stood you up like that. But the meeting was last minute and—”

“I don’t care about the dinner,” you told him, and you could practically hear the gears turning in his head. “I care that you were so dismissive of my feelings about it afterwards.”

“Let me make it up to you, please. Don’t shut me out, baby. Let me grovel. Let me do what it takes.” 

Your lips twitched upwards. “Then call off your men, I barely have enough space to work on my desk with all the flowers.” 

“Fine. But I’m sending them to your apartment.” 

You shook your head. “But I won’t be there.”

“But I will be. I’ll be there waiting for my pretty girl with a nice homemade dinner and a strong hope that she will let me kiss her.”

“We’ll see,” you murmured, a shy smile on your face. “Just dinner?”

“No dessert before dinner, baby. I want you nice and fed before I fill you up.”

“Sebastian!”

“I’m simply being honest, darling.”

.

[deathpressmonogatari]

I had this massive rant last night but I'm just so unhappy with Shadow of The Erdtree. You can feel so much got cut or butchered for the final product and it hurts. The dlc is beautiful, the journey and locations are magical, it's such a good experience. But the story is so flat, so weak.

The lore is interesting. Everything we learn about Marika gives us so much. We know about her, why she did the things they did. Her people. Why she reacted to her omen children the way we did. We learn about the fingers and the absence of the greater will and how that has led to our twisted world, with Metyr reaching out to the nothingness. And that's where it ends.

I've been very critical of Miquella's handling in the dlc, I don't like how someone so important is relegated to like 4 voice lines and zero reason as to why we want to oppose him and join his order; like in his cut ending. He deserves way more screentime and integration into our journey.

Messmer I love, but he doesn't get to do anything? He's a boss, he's the firstborn, and he unleashed his mother's fury on the hornsent. And you kill him and that's that. How does he feel about his siblings? He interacted with Miquella, because how else does Miquella get to Enir-Ilim? He needs Messmer to give him access. Why did they cut that dialouge. I assumed Miquella told him about the shattering. How does Messmer feel about his mother's choice? Her imprisonment? How does he feel about Radahn, clearly positive since he lets all that shit happen. But Messmer deserved more and to say more words

Romina not getting any dialouge in the final cut is bad enough. But no cutscene?? She's clearly very important and she doesn't give us anything. It's so annoying, she is the boss that stands between us and the sealing tree and she's treatrd like fodder and not someone who is clearly VERY important to the story and likely Malenia.

I love St. Trina but it felt like she was forgotten, her lines were so interesting but her quest doesn't progress anything? She talks to us and gives us her view on what Miquella's doing which is great but god I think she deserved more

I've put a shit ton of time into DLCs for DS1, DS3 & BB and I will die on the hill that they were all done better than SoTE. It felt like they wanted to be vague for the sake of being vague to the point of it being less of a mystery to solve and more of a "oh, okay. Guess that's that." If this is meant to be the final content drop for ER (I hope not) then I really don't know what it was meant to achieve. I suppose it did educate us on Marika and the GW and then that's it.

I've seen a lot of takes that we should accept the story they gave us and it's entitled to want something different, but I feel if you're someone, like myself, who puts hours and hours of time into these games and you're used to really good stories and lore being told only for the next big dlc to basically fumble that for our epic Radahn moment is not great. And I am within my right to criticise that, as is anyone else. And if you're a massive fan of the story good for you, I'm not telling you you're wrong. This is MY opinion.

Also we should've had a Messmer consort ending ;)