#marlenes dead

[levforfakes]

you mean literally just remus

[outromoony]

Me when the slow burn is slow burning

[icedcoffeebabyy]

I fear no fancast will ever match how sexy Sirius Black actually is.

[hmyrine]

gang idk how many "me and who"s i got left in me

[rhera]

PART I | PART II

Beetlejuice (1988) Dead Ringer (1963) Cinderella (2015) 101 Dalmatians (1996) Hollow Triumph (1948) Black Swan (2010) Vanity Fair (2004) Shanghai Express (1932) Dune: Part Two (2024) Opening Night (1977)

[fiasco95]

Barty, barging into the Gryffindor common room: What’s up losers!

Sirius: Wh—

Barty: I actually don’t care, don’t answer that!

Remus: That—

Barty: Anywhoo! Am just here to collect my bitches!

James: Hey—!

Barty, looking at Pandora & Dorcas: Respectfully.

Barty, turning to Regulus: Disrespectfully.

Marauders & Friends:

Barty: Alright, great talk! Let’s go bitches!

Pandora, Regulus & Dorcas kissing their respective partners and following Barty out of the common room.

Marlene: …What the fuck just happened?

Lily: No fucking clue.

[pxrty-crxsher]

*power goes out*

Evan: Fucking shit, I can’t see anything

Barty: Don’t worry. I’ve got this covered.

Barty: *stomps feet*

Barty: *sketchers light up*

Barty: You’re welcome

[doodlemcjazzhands]

Dorlene <3

[remuslupinlovebot]

marauders era p links (18+)

all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public

part 2 out now!

REGULUS BLACK

regulus fingering you in his dorm

regulus bouncing you on his cock

JAMES POTTER

riding james when he visits you for summer break

james celebrating a quidditch win

james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)

james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie

james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him

james eating his pretty girl out

SIRIUS BLACK

sirius making his girl feel good

showing sirius what a good girl you are

69’ing with sirius

sirius using his long fingers to make you cum

morning fucks with sirius

sirius fucking you at your house

REMUS LUPIN

remus fucking your face

remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon

riding professor lupin

getting extra credit with professor lupin

BARTY CROUCH JR

bouncing on bartys cock

barty fucking the LIFE out of you

MARLENE MCKINNON

marlene riding the life out of you

marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you

marlene fingering you till you’re shaking

making a sex tape with marlene

marlene eating you out

making out with marlene

LILY EVANS

fucking lily with a d!ldo

intimate but intense foreplay with lily

fucking lily in the common room

sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl

roommate lily helping you out

car sex with lily

thanking lily for date night by eating her out

lily sitting on your face <3

using mommy’s tits to cum

MARY MACDONALD

mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers

mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip

home alone with mary

fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up

making mary cum

eating mary out by the pool

DORCAS MEADOWES

eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering

(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter

giving dorcas special treatment after a night out

dorcas riding you

RANDOM

marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying

pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you

pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty

foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!

find part 2: here

[whysosiriushuh]

Sirius: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water

Lily,*slowly puts her book down *: Y-You were putting it in cold water....

Sirius: ....

Remus: Padfoot? Answer the question. Sirius!

Sirius: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Everyone: ....

Sirius: You think I have the patience to boil water?

Regulus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????

James,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!

Regulus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!

Remus: Fuck Regulus you too!!??!!

James: It takes less than a minute!

Marlene: IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????

James: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!

Remus: Like 7 minutes!

James: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.

Pandora *taking notes*: Everyone in this room is so creative :)

Dorcas*turning to Remus*: So no one in your house uses a fucking kettle!?

Remus: Its right there near the stove!!

Sirius: Wait a second... that's used to make tea??

Regulus: You told me it was there for aesthetic!!!!!!

James: So its not???

[until-the-house-shakes]

Mary showing Regulus Dance Moms and then a day later Regulus has a group meeting where he ranks everyone on a pyramid.

Regulus: before we start. Mary is exempt because she helped me come up with the ranking. So on the bottom, is Barty. You stole all my chocolate frogs and then lied about it.

Barty: but-

Regulus: silent. Next, Peter. I don’t trust you. Next. Sirius. Still haven’t forgave you for leaving me with our parents for a year.

Sirius: but I helped you get out.

Regulus: which is why you aren’t last. Finishing off the bottom row, Marlene. Nothing against you love, just don’t know you that well.

Marlene: I’ll take it.

Regulus: third row. Evan. You are a great friend, but you indulge in Barty too much.

Evan: we’re dating.

Rugulus: I know. It bumped you down a few spots. Next. James.

James: we’re dating??

Regulus: and? You made me upset yesterday… and I didn’t want to be biased. Next is Lily. We’re becoming wonderful friends and you’re dating my best friend. Hurt her and you will no longer be present on this pyramid.

Lily: ha!! Beat you James

James: this is rigged.

Regulus: second Row. Dorcas and then Dora. I couldn’t really decide who was better. You’re both my best girls so.. it’s more so tied.

Evan: barty and I are your best mates as well!!

Regulus: they never steal my food and lie to me. Finally. At the top of the pyramid. Is Remus.

Sirius: HOW???

Regulus: he is silent and lets me lay on him while we read. He also lets me rant to him about my stupid brother even though you’re dating. A bery great guy… i might steal him if you and James keep acting up.

Remus: fine by me.

Sirius: HOLD ON

James: WAIT

[outromoony]

My Spotify Wrapped

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Gryffindor quidditch practice Remus: *gazing at Sirius* Gods above he’s hot…

Regulus: *gazing at James* Isn’t he, though?

Dorcas: *overhearing them* Who’s so hot?

Remus and Regulus in unison without looking away from their crushes: Your mom.

[icedcoffeebabyy]

Judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

James: I do.

Judge: what are your relations with regulus black.

James: omg dare.

[isabel-lillah]

2:56 AM, James sneaking out of Regulus's room and Marlene sneaking out of Dorcas's room

James:

Marlene:

James: Dorcas, right?

Marlene: yeah, you?

James: Regulus

Marlene: ah

Marlene: soo wanna start a club talking about secretly dating some grumpy slytherins?

James: oooh absolutely

[charbroiledchicken]

"you used to be such a big reader. what happened?" they ask

"i...have a lot of work." i reply, frantically closing all my ao3 tabs because im not about to go and tell people my biggest kin is harry potter's father's best friend's brother and his little fruity friend group