#mari x jackie

[cannibalmeowmeow]

jackie and mari finding a secluded spot to watch the sunset and talk shit about everyone

[bumblesimagines]

Doomcoming

Request: Yes or No

Summary: After Flight 2525 crashes in the Canadian wilderness, (Y/N) Palmer is forced to acquaint himself with his sister's surviving teammates. He unexpectedly finds himself growing closer to their former team captain.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

CW/TW: Typical Yellowjackets warnings, sexual content, mentions of the roofied stew, mentions of attempted murder, the whole doomcoming episode essentially, mentions of cheating and teen pregnancy (Shauna)

divider by saradika-graphics!

~~~

There was something daunting about the wilderness around them, something that made his stomach turn with unease, and had anxiety clutching his heart so tight he feared it'd burst in his chest.

He once thought he liked the woods, thought he enjoyed the beauty of something real and raw and untouched by the hands of mankind who so often sought to destroy what they couldn't control. He thought he saw beauty in the towering trees and the natural cycle binding the forest together.

It was hard to appreciate a cage once you were locked inside it.

Even as the girls giggled and bustled around with sticks and dying leaves to decorate the clearing for their own version of homecoming, he couldn't help but fidget with the sticks and moss he'd been given to convert into whatever he liked. His lips remained twisted downward into a hard frown and his facial muscles were beginning to hurt from how long he'd kept his brows furrowed. He couldn't help it. His concentrated face had never been pretty. His mother used to say it reminded her of his grandfather, a man worn down by grief and time unable to escape his past as a soldier. She never said it kindly.

"Fuck," He hissed quietly in frustration when another twig broke between his fingers, and in one quick swoop, he shoved the pile off his lap and let them clatter onto the forest floor to be forgotten as he stood and listened to them crackle and snap underneath his dirtied sneaker. The hot flash of emotion evaporated as quickly as it'd reared its head, and his shoulders sagged with the exhaustion that followed. 

(Y/N) had never been the type to fall so easily into the jaws of anger, that was a quality he attributed to Travis or Natalie, sometimes even Taissa when things didn't go her way.

Not him, though.

He'd always been the quiet one who preferred solitary over company, the guy with few friends who spent his time listening to music on his walkman with a book in hand and a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips before and after school, the guy forced to accompany his little sister even though she was only a year younger than him and perfectly capable of standing up for herself. 

God, how he wanted a cigarette. It was a nasty habit, one he tried to quit for the sake of Van, but it was familiar and kept him busy whenever his mind wanted to run in everlasting circles.

His last pack, one he'd shoved into his bag at the very last minute before they had to leave to catch the godforsaken plane, had gone up in flames alongside his beloved walkman, a few books, and the unlucky few who hadn't escaped the ruins of the plane.

He managed to catch himself in time before he barreled into one of the girls, spitting out an apology and stepping aside to go around them before a hand firmly grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and held it in a tight fist. Almost instinctively, he jerked his arm away and frowned, the frown only deepening at the sight of Taissa staring at him with a grimace. "What?"

Her brows twitched. "Excuse me? What's with the atti-"

"I don't want to hear it, Taissa." (Y/N) gave a heavy sigh. "What do you want?"

"I.." Taissa trailed off and her typically composed mask crumbled before his very eyes.

Her cracked lips pressed into a tight, thin, almost nervous line and she tucked in her chin to look down at the objects she cradled in her free hand as if they were precious china dolls she couldn't risk damaging. His eyes dropped down to them and his brows lowered at the sight of the handmade masks from cloth and leather stitched together. 

"I know Van doesn't want to join us because she's self-conscious so I.. I made us masks to wear. Do- Do you think she'll like them?"

The tension circulating in his weary body dulled for a moment as he stared down at the masks, lovingly crafted just for his sister's sake and happiness. He and Taissa had never seen eye-to-eye, no matter how hard Van tried through various means; attending parties together, catching lunch at the local diner, dragging him to the after-parties of their games. They begrudgingly co-existed for the most part, forced to be amicable so the girl they both cared for could be content.

Taissa was too headstrong, too stubborn, and too often refused to admit her wrongdoings for his liking.. but his sister loved her and embraced all the flaws he found too irritating to deal with. She took a girl most people walked on eggshells around and loved her as if she were a rose and not a thorn.

He ran a delicate finger over the soft fabric of one of the masks and felt himself soften up at the sweetness of it all, the thought that went into it. His mouth tugged into a strained smile. He wondered if their mother hoped her little girl was being taken care of, or if she even knew what day it was without them watching over her. "Yeah, she'll love 'em." 

"Good." Taissa let out a shaky breath of relief and nodded, offering him back one of those genuine smiles she reserved for those she cared about. "I'll see you at the party?"

His smile dropped. "I guess."

If it hadn't been for his Van's insistence that he pack some nicer clothes (he barely had any, to begin with) for the awards dinner they'd never get to attend, he would've had to suffice with one of his nicer-looking flannels or jumpers; instead, he slipped on the only polo shirt he packed, some jeans, and the cleanest pair of sneakers he could find even though he knew they would be caked in dirt by the end of the evening.

His hands remained shoved in his pockets as he strolled into the clearing and took in what they'd transformed it into. It could never compare to the clean, chilly, and neatly decorated gym where all the formal school events were held, but it radiated with the love and care poured into it. It almost felt.. homey. Comfortable.

In the middle of the clearing was a small campfire surrounded by fallen logs covered in moss that acted as their tables and seating. They'd used sturdy branches embedded in the ground and covered in cloth as torches, the crackling of the flames adding to the serene atmosphere. The jugs of juice Mari had accidentally fragmented over time sat surrounded by cups and the large pot of stew waiting to be eaten.

Most, if not all of the girls wore the dresses they'd packed for the awards dinner, makeup they managed to find or salvage decorating their usually bare faces. Even Misty, who he'd only ever seen wearing mascara, had her cheeks powered pink and eyelids colored purple. They'd styled their hair with crowns made of sticks, autumn leaves, and dying flowers.

With the songs of birds and insects serving as their music, everyone began to settle down around the clearing, cradling wooden bowls of the stew or drinking every last drop of the juice poured into their cups in hopes of getting even the slightest bit drunk.

(Y/N) curled his fingers around his plastic cup and swirled the dark purple juice remaining in it, a bittersweet tart flavor dancing on his tongue but not quite filling him with the typical warmth alcohol did. He stared down at the liquid, practically willing it to become wine so he could forget about everything for just a night.

The death of Laura Lee still hung over them like a thick blanket, but in the short time he'd been around the optimistic blonde, he knew she would've preferred a celebration of life over the somberness of grief that clung heavily to those who knew her best.

His gaze raised to search for Lottie in particular and he found the raven-haired girl sitting in front of the bonfire with a blank stare that only tugged on his heartstrings, even as she offered small smiles to her friends and teammates. Nobody had been able to pull her away from the lake after the explosion for hours, and her quiet sniffling often kept him up throughout the following nights.

"Hey," A voice cooed from behind as slender fingers pressed into his lower back, nails dragging along the fabric of his forest green shirt in a teasing manner. Jackie batted her mascara-coated lashes at him and offered a coy smile when her fingers danced their way to his forearm where she casually looped her arm around his. "Havin' fun?" She asked with a slight tilt of her head, big hazel eyes peering at him with focused attention he wasn't used to getting from the friendly striker. 

"Uh-"

Her smile widened when some of the girls began to sing (or rather scream) the lyrics to Kiss from a Rose at the top of their lungs, their gleeful cackles and snickers cutting through the lyrics. They swayed and spun, twirling their dresses and somehow avoiding spilling their drinks despite the occasional stumble here and there. "We should dance." 

Before he could say anything against it, because the only woman he'd ever danced with had been his grandmother when he was seven, Jackie scooped his cup out of his hand and set it blindly aside before tugging him toward the others. Her arms circled his shoulders and she drew him close, the act foreign to him yet welcoming.

He spent his whole life fussing over Van and ensuring their mother didn't drink herself to death, taking Van to and from soccer parties or parties or secret dates, pleading with Mr. Clark to let his mother keep her job at the diner 'cause his job at the old rundown theatre wouldn't be enough for the bills; he never had enough time for the girls who showed interest, let alone entertained the idea of involving himself with someone like Jacqueline Taylor whose childhood home was practically a mansion in his eyes.

Tentatively, he placed his hands over her hips, and Jackie responded with a soft giggle, her eyes sparkling with the sunlight peeking through the trees. She looked nice, nicer than she had in the past couple of weeks, maybe the last month.

He stopped keeping track of the time that passed a while back when he found it too depressing and consuming. The leaves changing from shades of green to varying shades of orange and red, combined with the temperatures subtly dropping, told him more than enough. The world was still spinning, they were still stranded, and they were probably going to die before winter finished settling in.

"You look handsome," Jackie said softly, her hands carefully adjusting the back of his collar before she tilted her head, brows quirking with expectation he wasn't surprised to see.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gave an amused huff. "You look pretty."

Her eyes crinkled with delight, not even pretending to act bashful, and her hands moved down, first pressing over his shoulders and then dragging over his arms until they curled around his wrists. Her teeth caught her bottom lip and she batted her lashes at him again, the tips of her ears turning a soft pink.

"You want to, uh.. go for a walk?"

Ever since Lottie discovered the old, cobweb-covered bones in the attic, (Y/N) ensured to make it a point he was never going up there, especially after the girls decided to 'communicate' with the 'spirit' and the night ended with Lottie splitting her forehead open on the window after a so-called possession. He didn't believe in that sort of crap, but he wasn't about to go messing with it either.

Taissa and Shauna had taken advantage of everyone's hesitance and taken residence in the attic, leaving them with more than enough space and only the hissing wind to disturb them throughout the night. He almost envied them, but he would rather fall asleep listening to Coach Ben's snores than risk confirming that ghosts were real and haunting the only place offering them shelter.

"This place is..." (Y/N) trailed off with a sharp inhale, goosebumps rising along his arms as he soaked in the eery and desolate attic. 

It was dark, the only light pouring in coming from the two windows on either end that were far too dirty to look through, and every inch of it was covered in dust collected from however long it'd remained abandoned before they stumbled upon the cabin.

Taissa and Shauna's belongings, their luggage and blankets, were messily scattered around, the only thing that provided him with a hint of normalcy. But it was quickly chased away with unease as his eyes fell onto the symbol carved into the wooden floorboard, the same one he sometimes saw carved into the trees around the cabin. The weight of anxiety settled on his chest, threatening to cave it in. 

He wished Laure Lee had brought some sage with her.

"Romantic?" Jackie finished for him with a tilt of her head, her tone mixed with hopefulness and amusement. She clasped her hands together in front of her and let out a shallow breath, the ends of her mint dress brushing over the laces of her sneakers with each nervous sway from her hips. 

Lifting his head to look at her, he arched a brow. "Yeah, 'cause nothing screams romantic like a dusty old attic someone died in, Jackie." 

Her shoulders shook with agreeable laughter and she reached up to carefully pull the crown from her head, gently tugging and smoothing back the brown strands that'd grown tangled in the sticks.

Everything about her felt... off, as if she was a husk of the optimistic and enthusiastic girl everyone back home followed like ducklings. She looked distant, her body in the attic but her mind far away, likely back home in her old bedroom thinking about everything she could've been doing instead of starving.

"What's wrong?"

It felt dumb to ask a question like that when everything was wrong. They were stranded in the middle of the wilderness with food they had to forage or hunt for, water they had to boil, clothes they had to share and wash in lake water, and the ghosts of dead classmates haunting the edges of their minds. Laure Lee, the most faithful of them all, had died, leaving a gaping space no one could fill because no one else could replace the kind-hearted, sweet, pious girl who poured her heart into praying for them all. Her god hadn't even granted her the mercy of a peaceful death.

Jackie's jaw shifted with her teeth grinding together, jaw clenching and unclenching. "Shauna was fucking Jeff." She revealed with a bitter, shaky chuckle, her chest stuttering with a deep inhale before she spun around to face away from him. (Y/N) hoped his sharp inhale hadn't been noticeable. "My best friend was having sex with my boyfriend behind my back. My best friend is pregnant with my boyfriend's baby and- and she hasn't had the balls to tell me. All this- this fucking time I've been waiting for her to say something, anything."

The crown slipped from her fingers and her hands raised to bury her face in them, body trembling with muffled sniffles and whimpers. He winced and walked toward her, hesitating for a brief second before he placed his hands over her arms. "Hey," He murmured, gently nudging her toward the pile of blankets on the floor. "C'mon, sit down."

He'd done this dance plenty of times before that it became second nature. He always found himself cradling his sister in his arms, his chin resting on the top of her head and eyes gazing into the distance as she sobbed for this or that reason, or letting his mother bury her face in his chest when the alcohol heightened her emotions instead of dulling them. He was familiar with the dance, so much so it was instinctive for him to comfort.

His arm slid around her shoulder and she crumbled into his side, her whimpers turning into hiccupped cries as she released everything she held in her chest. He dragged his thumb and forth over her arm comfortingly and pressed his cheek against the top of her head, her frizzy hair tickling his skin and smelling subtly of the flowers she'd used for her crown. 

"God, this is so- ugh." She raised her head and wiped at her tear-stained cheeks in frustration, rubbing away the blush and slightly smearing her mascara when she swiped her fingers over her eyes. Her ears turned pink, a color that crept down her cheeks and neck. "This is so embarrassing. I-I didn't bring you up here to- to cry in your arms like a baby. I-" She shook her head.

"You needed a good cry, Jackie. It's normal." (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders and squeezed her arm reassuringly, drawing her teary-eyed gaze toward him. Her features softened and she pressed her lips together until they ceased quivering with emotion. "Honestly, I'd be worried if you weren't upset." He breathily chuckled, leaning back into the blankets and staring up at the cobwebs clinging to the slanted ceiling. 

Jackie reached behind her to tug her hair free from the hairstyle she'd pulled it back into before mimicking his actions, her hair sprawling out around her in a short halo. "I.. I know it looks like I'm only interested in you because my only choices are you and Travis but I always thought you were cool."

"Cool?" He echoed with a snort and lolled his head to look at her. "Poor guys who drive beaten-up cars and always smell like popcorn are ​​​​​​your definition of cool?"

"Oh, shut up. At least it's better than dumb football players who cheat on you with your best friends." Jackie laughed and threw a gentle punch at his arm, her voice hoarse from the crying but slowly clearing up. She gave a wistful sigh and rubbed her fingertip over the smeared mascara, her eyes tracing the lines in the ceiling. The corners of her brows dipped, forming creases in her skin.

"I used to pretend I didn't know if I loved Jeff, when the truth is, I didn't even like him that much. I used to think losing your virginity was supposed to be special, and then Shauna went and lost hers to my boyfriend. It- It doesn't matter, anymore. It's all.. bullshit. Love is bullshit."

"I thought love was bullshit too once." (Y/N) told her quietly, eyes flickering past her to gaze at Taissa's things. "My dad left us when we were young. He... up and left one day and never looked back, never bothered calling or sending a letter. He just walked out and disappeared as if we didn't matter, as if my mom hadn't bent over backward trying to be a good wife. I thought that.. if it was that easy to leave your own family behind like they're nothing, then love wasn't real.. that it didn't matter."

"What changed?"

The ghost of a smile passed over his face. "I watched Van fall in love. I listened to her talk about Taissa like she- she hung the fucking stars in the sky and I watched her face light up like a kid on Christmas whenever Taissa came around. I watched them mold themselves to fit each other because they care so much that they don't want to risk doing something wrong. If Van can find that much love in Tai, I think you've got a chance, too. You matter to a lot of people, Jackie. There's still a chance we get rescued.. there's still a chance you get your happily ever after."

After a beat of silence, Jackie moved, propping herself up on one elbow and peering down at him with an unreadable look. She reached out toward him, her fingers barely grazing over his neck before she pressed her palm against his skin and leaned down to give him a close-lipped kiss, and then another.

"Maybe you can be my happily ever after." She spoke quietly, voice barely about a whisper, and kissed him again, this time an open-mouth one that smeared her bubblegum pink lipstick over his lips.

(Y/N) always considered himself too busy for girlfriends. He'd tried once in freshman year but he never managed to keep up with the dates and hanging out in between work, school, homework, and taking care of his family.

The relationship only lasted a month but he'd been able to check out the 'important' firsts everyone else fussed over during high school just to avoid the teasing from the other boys. But, be it from the time since or the chaotic situation they found themselves in, kissing Jackie felt different. 

It was a surge of emotions muddling together yet immediately overridden by an overwhelming desire to be touched, to simply be in someone's embrace and escape the harsh reality they'd been forced into. It was easy to get lost in surviving and forget about the joys of living.

He kissed her back and her body relaxed, tension he hadn't noticed fading from her muscles. Her fingers dug into his neck and pulled as she tilted herself backward to resume laying on her back, her other hand crinkling her dress with tugs until it slipped down her thighs and freed her legs. He moved over her and settled between her parted legs, feeling her hand move from his neck to clutch his arm, half her fingers pressing into the sleeve and the other half pressing into his skin. 

Almost instinctively, his hips rolled and grinded against her, pulling a shaky gasp from Jackie. She tilted her head back, her grip tightening with each grind against her most sensitive area, and her chest beginning to heave with heavy inhales of air as her legs fell further apart.

He pressed kisses to her jawline and down to her throat, the cool chain of her gold necklace pressing into his lips and leaving small imprints behind. She pushed her upper half into him when he pressed his lips against the center of her chest just above the heart charm and momentarily released him to unclasp her bra peeking out from underneath the dress. 

She tossed it aside as if she hardly cared to find it again, and perhaps she'd leave it just to irk Shauna when it'd be undoubtedly found. She pulled on the straps of her dress and then tugged firmly at it to reveal her breasts, hazel eyes darting up to study his features, hoping to find some sort of reaction that'd boost her ego, only for her eyes to flutter shut when he palmed at her. She had fading tan lines he traced with his mouth, the skin typically unexposed to the sun a paler color. 

"I-" Jackie cut herself off with a breathy sigh, back arching and naturally pushing her newly exposed chest into his face when his thumb flickered over a hardened nub. "I-I want to." She exhaled, back dropping back onto the blanket beneath them and eyelids parting again, half-lidded as if she were dazed. 

"We don't have to." He murmured, face burying into her neck briefly, seeking out warmth from another. He missed being held. 

"I want to." She repeated with a self-assured nod, the light of the setting sun peeking through the trees and pouring in through the window, lighting up the attic in a gentler light. It seemed less hostile than before. "I really do."

Nodding, he leaned back onto his knees and pulled the polo shirt off by its collar as Jackie fumbled with the button of his jeans. When his hands were free, she dropped hers and lifted her hips, tugging off her underwear and dropping it aside. He pushed his pants and underwear down enough to expose himself, a curse leaving his lips when she wrapped her fingers around him and gave a few experimental pumps. 

"Jax," He exhaled. "What if-"

"I don't care." Jackie cupped the back of his neck and pulled him downward to kiss him again, hot and needy and more teeth than tongue. "I just want you."

(Y/N) complied, teeth grazing her bottom lip as he braced himself on one arm and reached down, hearing her soft gasp as he dragged the tip along her slick folds. She swallowed thickly and placed her hands over his shoulders, her knees knocking gently against his hips. When he kissed the side of her neck, he could feel the rapid pulse of her heartbeat. 

Jackie gasped loudly when he pushed inside and then winced, her nails digging into his shoulder blades hard enough to leave imprints and features scrunching up. He gave her a moment to breathe, to adjust to the new feeling, waiting until her nails relented to push further. Soft murmurs of comfort flowed into her ear, his free hand moving up to rest over her hip and squeeze comfortingly. He knew it hurt for some during their first time, sometimes it hurt always for others. 

He took his time, pushing and waiting for her to grow used to it, swallowing groans and whimpers when she unknowingly clenched around him from the sensations. He gave one last nudge to reach the base and she pulled him into another kiss, heavily panting against his mouth and apologetically rubbing her fingertips over the countless half-moon marks she left on his skin. 

"Okay," She swallowed, blinking away the glistening in her eyes and offering a giddy smile. "I'm okay."

Slowly, he moved, trying to focus on her features as they morphed from furrowed brows trying to grow used to the feeling to ones raised with pleasure. (Y/N) shifted his weight onto his knees and propped himself slightly on them, the hand on her hip growing firm to stabilize her before he began moving quicker. The sound of skin slapping on skin mixed with the grunts and heaves and moans that slowly grew in noise and the soft squelch from where their bodies were connected. 

Jackie pulled him as close as humanely possible, her palms dragging over his back, tracing the muscles and healed scar he'd obtained during the crash. One of her hands moved downward, passing over his hip and grasping the back of his thigh, almost willing him to go deeper, to somehow melt into each other and become one. Her lips remained parted, babbled words ranging from pleas to curses interrupting the choked breaths and whiny moans. 

The heel of her sneaker dragged along his clothed calf and he breathed comforting words into her flushed cheeks, each praise drawing a whimper from the back of her throat. He kissed away the tears of pleasure that dripped from the corner of her eyes, occasionally pressing into her temple when his mind escaped him, growing foggy and needy until he forced himself to focus again. Taking someone's virginity was as big as losing it, at least in his opinion. They were having enough bad experiences as is.

"Shit!" Jackie practically squealed in his ear, her back arching off the blankets again and head tilting back. "(Y/N)-"

(Y/N) moved fully back onto his knees and grasped Jackie's hips with both hands, listening to the thud of her sneakers planting themselves on the floorboards to hold up her weight as her hands flew down to hold onto his wrists. The new position seemed to hit exactly the right spot because a few seconds later, Jackie tensed up and then cried out, her body convulsing and feet stomping onto the floor wildly. He chased after his own high, the slowly formed knot in his gut threatening to burst at any moment. 

Jackie fumbled, quivering thighs struggling to maintain her weight until he had half a mind to slip one hand under her lower back and help her up. She flung her arms around his shoulder and he moved his hold onto her thighs, helping her clumsily bounce until he suddenly released, toppling them both over onto the blankets where they went limp in a tangled mess of limbs. 

"Jesus," Jackie laughed, brushing away the strands sticking to the sweat along her hairline and giving a soft whine when he dragged himself out of her and rolled over. She reached downward to cup herself, sweaty thighs pressing together, and he turned his head away from the sight as he spurted the last of his release on his lower abdomen. "You don't think one of the girls has plan b, right?"

"If you'd said something beforehand I could've swiped one of Travis's condoms. I don't think he's even using them with Natalie." 

Jackie's head whirled around to look at him, squinting through the growing darkness in disbelief. "Travis packed condoms?"

"I guess."

(Y/N) huffed out a laugh, and then couldn't stop himself from laughing some more when Jackie began giggling at the absurdity of Travis Martinez, who hardly ever even spoke to girls at school because he was always too busy sulking, packing condoms for a trip to Seattle with his father and little brother.

Their laughter died down into coughs and snickers, slowly ceasing when they gazed at each other. Jackie stared at him with crinkled eyes and slipped her hand out from between her thighs, rubbing the mixture of fluids on her dress. 

"We should do this more often." She said, but all (Y/N) could focus on was the distant sound of guttural screaming and... howling? 

He moved immediately, nerves lighting ablaze out of fear and panic for his sister, and got dressed again, almost stumbling over his legs as he struggled with the zipper. Jackie blinked at him, hurt flashing over her face before she flinched at a closer scream and scrambled to pull her dress straps over her shoulders. 

"What the fuck is that?" 

They hurried down the ladder and into the old pantry, the light from the lit fireplace shining over the group of girls in the living room attempting to corner a frantic, wide-eyed shirtless Travis. 

"What the hell are you doing?" (Y/N) hissed, bewildered at the sight of their ragged breathing and dirtied dresses.

The girls turned their heads to look at him, their eyes wide and wild, mouths twisted up into grins or snarls. Some of them swayed as if intoxicated, and even Travis looked out of his mind as he stared at empty air and muttered quietly to himself. He stared questionably at Van but she simply turned on her heel and left with Taissa.

Lottie walked toward them, her hand flying out to grab the skirt of Jackie's dress and turning it around to peer at the patch of blood staining it. She huffed out a mocking laugh and Jackie's cheeks flared red. "Stay out of it." She sneered and shoved the brunette back, her body colliding with (Y/N)'s and forcing them back into the pantry. 

"Lottie-" 

The door rattled shut with a slam, and the lock clicking followed after. There was manic giggling and the thumping of heavy footsteps he assumed belonged to Travis, and then the shrill shrieks and shouts about 'the stag' getting away before a chorus of footsteps seemingly followed after the boy. (Y/N) could only stare at the door in disbelief.

"The hell was that?"

Jackie slammed her palms into the door, pounding against it and shouting for help until her voice grew scratchy. Her body was still struggling to retain its energy and she stepped back, panicked bursts of breaths escaping her.

Getting the wild, frantic, borderline hungry look in their eyes out of his head was hard. They flashed in his mind each time he blinked, his throat seizing with confusion and worry for Van and Travis, for the girls who looked out of their minds. For Coach Ben who was easy prey with only one working leg.

"Move." He whispered, letting Jackie step aside before he rammed his shoulder into the door repeatedly, each hit making his arm sore until it began to ache.

The door groaned and creaked with each hit, rattling violently and beginning to splinter from the force until it was forced open, its rotting age betraying it. They stumbled out of the room and (Y/N) immediately took note of the missing knife, the one used for carving meat whenever Natalie and Travis managed to hunt something good enough to eat. 

As if on cue, Natalie appeared in the doorway, her eyes wide and glistening with tears. Her outfit was disheveled and dirty, and he could only begin to imagine what she'd been doing between the time they left and then. Natalie swallowed and blinked hard, looking as if she were trying to focus her vision but something was stopping her.

"Misty-" She staggered and braced herself on the door frame. "Misty put shrooms in the stew."

Jackie groaned. "Oh, my god. Of course, she did."

"Where's Travis?" Natalie's head spun as she searched the cabin. "I-I need to talk to Travis. Where's Travis?"

(Y/N) stared at the crackling fire, watched the flames lick up the stone walls and embers disappear into the chimney to be blown up into the wind with the smoke.

Maybe it would've been better if they'd all gone up in flames, he thought. It would've been better than dealing with a bunch of idiots who were too prideful to admit any wrongdoing, even if it meant ignoring the fact they would've cut Travis's throat open if Natalie hadn't intervened in time. And now they were nowhere to be found. They were probably better of that way.

Part of him wanted to shove Misty into the fireplace so she'd stop staring at him with an accusatory glint for not saying thanks to a dead bear, to Lottie for taking the creature out of its obvious misery, to 'ancient gods' and the damn dirt. It was laughable, and yet his sister encouraged it.

Misty drugged everyone who ate the damn stew, to begin with. They should've all been blaming her and her stupid crush on a man half her age who only looked at her with discomfort and pity.

Instead, half the girls chose to gang up on Jackie after Misty loudly pointed out that neither of them had said thanks. He'd mostly tuned out the argument between Jackie and Shauna as they sneered and took jabs at each other, heated revelations and insults spewing out of their mouths in hopes of twisting the knife and plunging it deeper into each other until Jackie pointed at the door. 

"Get out." She spat, intending to sound authoritative but her voice trembled with emotion, with hurt and betrayal. Shauna remained still, her chest rising and falling in deep breaths and nostrils flaring. Jackie shoved her shoulder. "Go on, get out!" 

"No."

"I can't be around you, I-I can't even fucking look at you right now."

Shauna swallowed. "Well, that sounds like your problem. So maybe you should leave."

Jackie scoffed and turned her head to look at the others, searching their faces until her head tilted toward him. She looked at him pleadingly, her hazel hues glittering with unshed tears, from the argument or lack of support, he couldn't be sure anymore, but he heaved a sigh and stood up nonetheless. 

"Nobody's going anywhere." 

"What, are you her little attack do-"

"Shut the fuck up, Mari." His head snapped toward the long-haired girl and she flinched, once smug eyes widening. His jaw ticked. "It's no fucking wonder Danny dumped you for his cousin, you don't know when to keep your mouth shut."

Predictably, she flushed a bright red and ducked her head, strands of her dark hair falling over her face to hide the shame and humiliation that sparked across her face. Only Akilah reached out to place a comforting hand over her shoulder, but even she remained quiet. It was no secret, hell, most of the girls had laughed about it at some point. They'd be hypocrites to stand up for her, and they knew it.

"Nobody's going anywhere." He repeated, enunciating each word slowly and clearly, and locked eyes with each of them to get his point across.

Lottie looked the most relaxed, her face serene and blank, like that of a mother waiting for her children to finish a pointless argument. It was unnerving, as if a switch had flickered inside her and changed her into something completely different from the quiet girl she was once.

"Winter's almost here, if not already, and the days are getting colder. We don't know how to treat hypothermia or frostbite or anything like that, so nobody is going to risk it. I don't care if you want to dance around fire and thank the trees for your food. But we're not kids anymore, not here at least. So stop bitchin' like we're in the hallways at school and start acting like you give a shit about surviving for a little longer." 

[queerly-autistic]

One of my favourite things about S2 was that we got to see so much in terms of Ed's relationships with women, and it just made me love him even more (if that's humanly possible). We didn't see him interact with many women at all in S1 (I think it was only the posh ladies at the fancy party which was...yeah, not a good experience), so S2 actually giving us a glimpse into his friendships with all these (very different) kickass women was so, so special.

I love that, as messy and fucked up as they all are, and even with the 'well we're pirates, we're not normal and we will fuck with each other' threat that hangs over everything, Ed's relationship with Mary and Anne is still so affectionate, and they both thrown their arms around him the moment they see him. Even though Ed is incredibly tactile, I don't think we've actually ever seen him be hugged like this, and it's just so lovely to watch him be embraced and clearly feel very safe being embraced by these women (and I can't with the way he clings to them, as well). I also love that this is a wlw/mlm friendship; yeah it falls apart later and turns into delicious gay-on-gay violence (and I wouldn't alter a note of it), but I love seeing this sort of affection between queer women and queer men, there's not nearly enough of it.

Don't even get me started on the BFF handshake he has with Anne - I want all the history there, give me six spin-off films about their adventures please.

And then we finally get a glimpse of his relationship with Jackie, which is similarly just lovely, but in a different way? You get the sense that they could sit there for hours, talking shit about the world, all whilst casually ripping the shit out of each other (but affectionately). You also know full well these two have talked extensively about men and know pretty much everything about each other's sex lives - we didn't see it, but I'm absolutely certain that Ed went into full gushing details about sleeping with Stede, just like Jackie did when she talked about The Swede fucking like a jackhammer (historical accuracy ftw).

And, again, whilst they're still pirates, and it's messy, the entire thing feels incredibly...safe, particularly from Ed's perspective? He feels more comfortable around Jackie than he is around most other characters (apart from Stede), just like he was with Anne and Mary.

And then, just to hammer the point home even further that Ed has, generally, fantastic relationships with women, and connects with them, and feels relaxed and safe with them, you have Ed and Zheng becoming instant BFFs literally minutes after meeting each other. Ed goes 'ooh, very cool woman kicking ass and killing people, she shall be my best friend, immediately', and Zheng is automatically incredibly relaxed and open with him, too (suggesting she feels as safe and comfortable with him as he does with her).

All I want in life is to see Ed and Zheng get silly-drunk with each other (and this is why we urgently need a S3).

And none of Ed's relationships with these women are a fetishistic 'I love women because they're fabulous' thing, or an overly patronising paternalistic 'I love the women and I must protect them' thing - all the relationships he has with women are very equal, very comfortable, fully believable, just fantastic friendships to watch play out. I feel like, given everything we see on screen, Ed generally feels a lot more comfortable and safe and open with the women he knows than the men he knows (Stede is the only other person he is this physically affectionate and comfortable with). Which is probably very understandable? Yes, the women he's friends with are all violent pirates too (that's part of the joy of it - none of them are lovely demure morally pure women, they're all violent pirates), but Ed has a lot of experience with specifically overtly abusive men - right back to watching his dad abuse his mum. And that's a distinction that matters: the show treats the violence of normal piracy and the violence of abuse very, very differently. Ed is not used to being treated softly or affectionately by men, as we saw in his shocked reaction to Stede holding his hand. I don't think it's any wonder that he gravitates more towards friendships with women (or that the men he feels the most open and safe with, such as Stede, Fang, even Frenchie, are very pointedly the opposite of the abusive men he has experience with). I just love love love that being friends with women is such a core part of Ed's character, and that we got to see all of these fantastic relationships in the show.

[ivebeendressingforrevenge]

[i-just-drink-coffee]

The Yellowjackets as glee plotlines with no explanation

Shauna: Sebastian blinding Blaine by throwing rock salt at him, then subsequently arguing with Santana by singing “smooth criminal”

Jackie: Making two student have sex so that they could be better at a high school level play

Nat: Terry Schuster getting the kids high in school

Lottie: Finn thinking there was Jesus in his grilled cheese sandwich

Taissa: Blaine wanting to propose to Kurt when they weren’t even together (he also cheated on Kurt and dated his high school bully)

Van: Brittany agreeing to be shot out of a canon so the cheerios could win a high school level cheerleading contest

Mari: Terri Schuester faking a pregnancy, then trying to get Quinn to give her kid to her/ kitty giving Marley an eating disorder

Misty: Mercedes throwing a brick to destroy Kurt’s car after he didn’t reciprocate her crush (he’s gay)

Laura Lee: There was a gas leak and Blaine imagined all of his friends to be muppets and they sang “what does the fox say”

Coach Ben: Mr. Schue fighting to allow the kids to twerk in school

Travis: Brittany becoming a math genius the year after she had a 0.0 GPA

[jollyreginaldrancher]

More realistic Yellowjackets hcs

•Van is squeamish af. She nearly threw up when just talking about Allie's leg in the pilot, and she almost throws up everytime you finally get to pick a movie and you go for a horror thing.

• Shauna would be one of those girls that could never pick what to eat. She would drag you to hell and back before she'd finally just go with one of the same three restaurants she always chooses. Even though she always picks the same she still wants you to suggest every place in town before she reaches a conclusion.

• Nat and Van overshare with each other. If you're with either one of them you will get smug looks from the other.

• Nat and Van also share their porn stash. Van has the decency to hide it but Nat just leaves her magazines on her night stand. You only ever knew she shared them with Van because you saw one of their trades. Nat tucked a folded up mag into the back of her pants. Van hid hers in the bottom of her schoolbag. You cringed so hard when you realised that's what they were doing. Nat stole them during a house party and Van let curiosity get the better of her and long story short they'd been trading them all year until you found out and used the rolled up magazine to beat Natalie over the head with.

• Van absolutely tries to build a house out of breadsticks every time you take her out to a restaurant for dinner.

• She tries to make an igloo out of waffles.

• You're on the team, on Away games and you share a room with Nat. She climbs on the bed and rocks it back and forth making it squeak and makes moaning sounds when you're on the phone with your mom. If Van is there she will join in but she will be blushing the whole time.

• Trying to get closer to Taissa involves being forced to take part in her morning constitutionals. Only her morning constitutionals involve 45 minute morning runs. And her legs are so long you are constantly trailing behind, and with her, everything is a competition so she straight up leaves you in the dust. You've gotten lost in her neighbourhood multiple times when she's left you behind to run ahead.

• Jackie's inviting you to weeknight dinners with her parents and expecting you to sit idly by while they passive aggressively destroy your confidence. She gives you yours back though after dinner when she lets you top her on her frilly bedsheets.

• Jackie makes you leave her house after dinner, get in your car, drive to the house next door, out of sight, then sneak back and climb up to her window to hit it.

• Sitting in a pew in the back of Laura Lee's church, your hand resting on the stretch of wood between you. You scratch your chin and return it absentmindedly only to find her hand is also resting between you...her pinkie is close enough to touch. You breathe heavily as you ghost your finger against it only for her to react by parting her fingers. Not a lot, but just enough to interlink your pinkies. Your heart is thumping so loud you swear the whole congregation is aware of it. You stare forward, your eyes glazed over as the priest chants Κύριε Ελέησον.

• After church one day, you hang back with Laura Lee as your parents all mingle with other members of the church. The two of you climb to the second floor, way in the back, and lie down on one of the pews, head to head. You look up at her, and she looks up at you and smiles. It's the same pious smile she always gives you but this time you swear her gaze fixes on your lips a moment.

Her parents call her over to go home and she sits up abruptly and waves at you as she bounces nervously away.

• Akilah spends most of her free time with family. Her older sister and her husband both work, so she and her mom get saddled with babysitting her nephew a lot. She sits around the house watching tv and doing homework with a baby on her lap most days. She's supposed to put him down but he's sooooo cute she just can't bring herself to.

When he's a little older, you two sneak him his first bit of chocolate. Well, less sneak, more he reaches over and shoves your entire ice cream down his throat at six months. He doesn't get to the cone before Akilah pulls him away but half your scoop is gone with him. Akilah apologises profusely but you just laugh. She offers to buy you another ice cream and you suggest a rain check. Your first date is an ice cream date when she's no longer grounded for letting him have ice cream at six months. He was fine though.

• Mari doesn't have nieces or nephews yet but she has so many cousins and they all get together and play soccer at family get-togethers. She is not the only one in that family who's on a soccer team but she's the only one who's going to nationals so the competition is stiff with all her cousins competing against her to prove they're all just as good. You may not be the best but she starts dragging you to all of these get togethers so the two of you can ratio her entire family together.

She normally wears jumpers and ties her hair up and stuff but her family notices that she dresses in way more form-fitting clothes and lets her hair down when you start coming to these things and ALL make fun of her for it. I'm talking little baby cousins who look up at her and make kissy faces behind your back and you feel a breeze when you turn your head, and hear the thud of a couch cushion hitting a seven year old at full force.

Oh no, her cousin spilled some juice on you now. Guess she has to bring you to her room, alone, and give you something to change into. You hear another Thwack behind your back as she ushers you down this hallway to the back.

A few cousins grin at you both through the window so she rushes to shut the blinds... She's red as fuck at this point. You're in her room and it's the designated coat room so she pushes a big pile of coats off to the side so you can sit down. She rummages through her closet and finds something that's lowkey a little revealing but she realises her whole family will see you in this so she reaches for a turtleneck instead. It's way too hot though so she just grabs a yellowjackets tee and hands you that and pretends to look around her own room while you change.

• She sniffs it when she gets it back.

• Melissa wears her hat backwards so she can be more easily identifiable as a skater. She's the only girl skater in the school but she doesn't get that much shit for it because she's also a jock on the soccer team that's going to nationals.

• She absolutely tries to rizz you up while skating around you.

• She absolutely loses her focus and eats shit while trying to hit on you.

• You give her your number out of pity.

• She writes your number down on her arm and then uses that part of her arm to wipe the sweat off her brow.

• You realise she's not playing dumb for the bit but you give her a shot anyway. You spend a disproportionate amount of time applying bandages on her and talking her off dumb stunts.

• Had there been any flat surfaces in the wilderness she could have used to skate on, she would have been the first to die.

• Gen...fuck it I don't know shit about Gen. Maybe she's a ninja. Yeah.

• latchkey kid with one of those dogs that's small enough to fit in a bag. It's fluffy and smol. She brings it on dates and feeds it breadsticks when her date isn't looking.

• Gen likes to dress that dog up in funky little outfits. Sometimes she matches it. Has a box full of pictures of her dressing her dog up.

• Misty can and will drag you into the equipment room for some alone time at school.

• Still plays doctor. Doesn't realise that the objective is not to heal the patient but to get close to the patient and feel them up. On the upside she has a full nurse costume. Not a sexy nurse costume, an accurate replica of a nurse costume. So accurate she's banned from wearing it at the local free clinic. Because 12 year old Misty tried to wear it to the clinic the way kids wear princess costumes to Disneyland.

• Van and Natalie subscribe to the sniff test. These jeans Nat's wearing were at the bottom of her used clothes pile but it doesn't matter because they passed the sniff test. Can Van pull off wearing that hoodie for a third day in a row? Yes, because it passed the sniff test. Sniff test.

• Van and Nat have burping contests outside Denny's at 3 am.

• Misty goes to sleep at 8pm every night. Even Laura Lee thinks that's way too early and she has a strict self-imposed bedtime at 10:30.

• Jackie's skincare routine takes the better part of the night.

• Shauna makes you sleep on the floor because she kicks in her sleep and it's her bed so...

• Lottie can come up with an excuse for shit at the drop of a hat. Usually it's excuses for why you shouldn't leave her house and why you should stay over. Lately she's been using excuses to get away from you though and it's worrying you. Nevermind she just wanted space to throw you a surprise party. Wholesome ass.

[noooooooop-e]

first ever edit, please be nice🫶🫶 I ship so many characters, but these two have my heart 🤍they also break my heart 😔

[lacyscabinet]

[shaunaswhore]

MASTERLIST

BUZZ... BUZZ... BUZZ... Welcome to my Yellowjackets Masterlist. Here, you can see which characters I write for, as well as, stories I've already written. One thing before you request though! I just ask that you check out my rule post. Thank you, all my gorgeous, gorgeous bumble bees. Feel free to follow this link to request!

Shauna Shipman

Picture You (series): Part I. Part II.

Lottie Matthews

Lottie's Pet

Natalia Scatorccio

Casual

Jackie Taylor

nothing yet

Taissa Turner

nothing yet

Van Palmer

nothing yet

Mari

nothing yet

[mint-chocolate-flakes]

Testing out new brushes

[axinite25]

so uhhh I've been writing a yellowjackets x scream au

[danisbrainrot]

jackie taylor x reader

how have I not written about her yet??? anyways, doing the lord's work (aka what shauna should have done).

everyone stood in shock, watching as jackie stormed out of the room after her explosive argument with shauna. you glanced at the door and back at shauna, unsure whether or not to chase after her or stay and comfort your friend.

tai was by shauna's side immediately, comforting her as the girl sobbed into her chest. still, none of the girls made a move to follow jackie outside.

you weren't stupid. it was hard not to notice how it was getting colder recently, or how all the animals were stocking up and going into hibernation. you knew winter was just around the corner, and feared that jackie could fall prey to it.

you didn't want to be that girl who followed after her, since shauna was a good friend to you and you didn't want to show her you were picking sides. however, you knew that if you didn't do something, no one else would; jackie was one of the most stubborn people you'd ever met, she wasn't going to come inside on her own volition. no, she'd have to be convinced.

at first, you found yourself standing above coach ben, who was still shocked from watching the argument unfold. "coach, you need to do something about that. jackie can't sleep outside," you whisper, glancing back to see if anyone was watching you.

he shook his head, "sorry, but I don't want to get involved in you girls' arguments," he replies, groaning softly as he moves to readjust himself into a better position.

"you're an adult. jackie will listen to you," you beg, but to no avail. ben shakes his head and refuses again, forcing you to look elsewhere. your eyes land on nat, who—granted held a bit of disdain for your captain—would surely see the consequences of leaving jackie outside to freeze.

however, you were no longer sure when travis pulls her in and whispers something in her ear; they both glance towards the door and you knew they'd be no help.

you stared out the window, watching jackie's pathetic attempt at starting a fire with pity. she really wasn't made for the wilderness, that was obvious. it was clear from day one she wouldn't contribute much, since all she'd done was complain, whinge and refuse to help with the chores. but you still remember the sweet and inspiring team captain on your soccer team; you can't help wonder what went wrong.

finally having enough, you quickly slipped outside, going unnoticed by no one. you'd take the dirty glares and rude comments if it meant coercing jackie back inside. you always listened to your gut rather than what people had to say, and right now, your gut was yelling at you to go talk to her.

jackie's gaze lingers on you as you sit beside her. after a beat of silence, she crosses her arms over her and chest and says, "if shauna sent you out here—"

"no one sent me out here," you reply, watching the flickering flames about to go out. it's silent again as you work up the nerve to beg her to come inside and she tried to work out why you were talking to her.

jackie sniffles, trying to hide the fact she'd been crying; it doesn't matter, since you can tell from her red eyes. "she's my best friend and she hates me," jackie mumbles, resting her arms against her legs and her chin on her lap. you're silent, happy to listen to jackie vent—it was for the best, because you weren't going to pretend to know anything about her relationship with shauna. "and you know what's the stupidest part? I don't even love jeff. . . I don't know if I even like him. she broke my heart and I don't know why."

"talk to her about it—and I mean talk, not argue," you reply earnestly, not sure how else someone was supposed to react to this situation. "you feel betrayed, and she feels overshadowed. you still have time to sort this out. fuck! we're in the woods and no one's coming to find us. you have plenty of time to tell her how you feel," jackie looks up at you with tears in her eyes. she's lost for words, and you smile at her gently, assuring yourself that she'd listen.

she shakes her head and sits up, however, making your smile fade. "no, she doesn't want to talk to me right now," jackie mumbles, kicking at one of the stones and accidentally sending it flying into the fire. "and I don't want to talk to her," she adds hastily, making you raise your eyebrow questioningly, "she's in the wrong, I shouldn't have to apologise to her," you roll you eyes at her stubbornness.

"fine, but I'm not leaving until you're inside with me," you snap. you watch her rub her arms up and down, and notice how chill the weather had gotten. was it always like this at night? how did jackie expect to survive through the night. "come on, jackie. I don't want to wake up in the morning to you looking like a smurf."

jackie burst into laughter, making you join too. "god, I'll be fine. don't worry. no frosty the snowman here," she promises. but you're no stranger to the cold. to snow. "I'll be alright, I just can't stand to look at her right now."

it falls quiet again, as you both mull over what she said. you can't help yourself, fearing the worst, you blurt out, "dying isn't worth it, y'know," she raises her eyebrows, "jackie taylor, you're the pettiest person I know. . . but to freeze out here because you're mad at shauna? that's a lot, even for you," you softly explain.

jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes before shivering again, "oh my god, I'm not going to die out here. I have a blanket, I'm wearing a jacket and a roaring. . . well, not roaring, but I have a fire," she points out. "it's not just gonna randomly snow in the middle of the night," you sigh, realising that she was convinced. there was no bringing her inside—and it was getting cold, even for you.

you bite your bottom lip, getting up to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you, okay? I don't want anything bad to happen to you," she looks up at you in shock, "come inside when you're ready, but please, don't stay out here all night. if not because of the weather, then because the wolves that attacked van are close by," she nods, and turns to face the weak fire again as you walk off.

"wait!" she calls out, standing up and chasing after you. your body fills with warmth as you silently rejoice at convincing her to come inside. "what do you mean you love me?"

you froze in your spot, feeling your heart race and your cheeks fill with heat. "I think you know," you reply, hoping that if she didn't feel the same way, she'd assume you were talking platonically.

jackie stares at you, breathing heavily, before she pulls you into a hug. "thank you, for caring enough to come out here," she whispers. you smile softly in return; she leans into you, kissing you gently on the lips. you were in shock for a moment, in complete disbelief that jackie liked you that way—that she liked girls that way. soon, you realised that the kiss was real, and that she wanted you; savouring the sweet moment, you mourned the loss of her lips on your own. "wow, your lips are so warm," you laugh at her, glancing back at the cabin ready to grab her hand when she flinched out of your grasp. "I'm not ready yet. . . stay out here with me?"

you nod, joining her to sit on the log again. you added some kindling to the fire as she snuggled up close to you. it was nice to feel her this close, and know she liked you back—even if it seemed like it was because she was lonely. it didn't matter to you, however, as you focused instead on the way she relied on you for warmth, and the way the flames danced.

after what felt like half an hour (but was closer to two hours) you notice the lights turning off, "it's cold, I'm going back inside," you announce.

jackie nods, "okay. I'll just be a little longer," she replies, shooting you a reassuring smile. you kiss her forehead again, and take sullen steps towards the cabin.

you glance at her once again, tempted to drag her inside, kicking and screaming, but you decide to leave her be. you receive dirty glares when you come back inside. you feel even smaller knowing you'd failed to bring her back in, so it was for nothing.

you accidentally lock eyes with mari, before glancing back at the ground. once you reached the fireplace to warm up, that's when the comments began. "of course you'd chase after jackie," mari snipes, shaking her head.

"it's so cold outside! I was worried she'd actually sleep out there and freeze," you reply, defending yourself.

you heard tai scoff, and looked for shauna, only to find her missing. "she chose to go outside," van mumbles, staring at the floor to avoid your gaze. you stare at her in disbelief.

you glance around the room, seeing no one agree with you—not even misty. nat and travis stared at the ground, also avoiding your eyes. "guys, now is not the time to be petty, she could've been in serious danger," you cry. no one responds, and you can't help but groan and roll your eyes.

"we saw you kiss her," misty announces. you look taken aback, but don't say anything. "three times," she adds, and you bite back the retort you were ready to sling at her.

instead you walk towards your bed, slipping under the sheets and pretending like you didn't notice everyone's gaze on you. eventually, tai heads upstairs and you hear everyone shuffle into their beds—but still no jackie.

your eyelids grow heavy, and as they do, you could swear you hear a door creak open. you smile in your dreamy state, knowing that jackie had finally come back inside. . .

"no, no, no, no, no!" shauna screams, jumping over you and racing outside. you jolt awake, your heart racing as you look around at all the confused faces of the girls. suddenly, it occurs to you, jackie's not one of them.

scrambling to your feet, you and tai are the first ones out the door after shauna. you have no idea why she's carrying on when you finally realise the ground had changed from green to white overnight. shauna was hunched over something in the snow, which at first glance, looked like a log.

it takes you a minute to process the scene in front of you; when it does, it feels like you've been hit by a train. your stomach drops and you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces.

shauna was on her hands and knees, screaming and crying while shaking her best friend. "jackie, wake up!" she wails. tai is by her side immediately, holding onto her and trying to comfort her.

your hand flies to your mouth as you begin to sob as well. no, no! this isn't right! jackie came inside last night! I heard her! you can't help but think. you could've sworn the door was opened. . . but here jackie was, covered in a blanket of snow, as you fell to your knees and mourned the girl you'd had a crush on since middle school.

you feel a pair of arms on your shoulders, as you lean into them for comfort, letting your tears run freely. you couldn't stand to look at the sight anymore without feeling guilty. you'd done everything you could, but was that truly enough? you should've done more! you should've dragged her inside! slapped some sense into shauna or the coach! you should have stayed by her side! tried harder to convince her! or at least kept her warm all night!

but you didn't, and you knew that would haunt you til your dying breath.

[valemrsn]

thank god shauna shipman is still alive cause ik she’d love perverts by ethel cain

[i-just-drink-coffee]

Travis: Stop messaging my girlfriend bruh

Lottie: *smiling* OUR girlfriend 🤗

[pepemyfantasy]

Lottie: Truth or dare?

Jackie: Truth!

Lottie: Do you-

Shauna: I dare you to kiss me.

Jackie: *kisses Shauna*

Lottie, to Mari: They said “truth”, right?

[tabithatwo]

hi hello thinking about how neither lottie or taissa is advocating for their sight or championing themselves.

lottie quietly doing the best she can to lean into what she hopes is real to give the others protection and faith, yes! but it isn’t I CAN LEAD YOU (especially this season) it’s I can quietly do the things that can’t hurt, in case they help. it can’t hurt to prick my finger and they’ve come back safe so far and I’m aware of my mental health I’m OH so aware and I know the dangers of delusions being proven correct by happenstance by setting up an infallible cause and effect by building my own reality BUT but. it’s just a prick and it’s just a sip and if I don’t do it now and they don’t come back safe then I AM the reason. it can’t hurt IT CAN’T HURT.

but see, now she’s stuck. she’s wedged into this place of having followers and she can’t tell them how she feels, partly because she isn’t even sure how she feels to begin with because nothing is real and everything is far too real!! (because BECAUSE lottielee jackieshauna parallels and so much post laura lee was not in our view, we didn’t fall as deep deep deep into the rabbit hole with lottie as we did with shauna, but this season has confirmed it for us. lottie and shauna both lost reality when they lost Them and they were both already girls with a loose grip of reality to begin with) so it’s That, but it’s also because she isn’t Lottie The Girl From New Jersey Who Shoplifts, she’s not herself, she’s what they make of her. she’s Lottie The Reason We Will Survive This.

she was on the other side of this dynamic, she felt that anger at jackie, she felt that sense of betrayal, she felt that letdown, that rebellion in her heart. because jackie wasn’t serving them the way they wanted needed craved being served. jackie couldn’t be that person. jackie who had been divisive in her leadership before they even crashed, because what is leadership if not a spotlight that people can adjust to make you glow like something ethereal or to point out all your flaws with great illumination? jackie had larger than life expectations put on her (and they were warm and sunny and positive some of the time yes, but that all curdles when it’s left in the spotlight too long.)

so suddenly lottie is divisive. there are teams around her and against her and myth built up, but the myth isn’t that she’s the bratty unhelping girl who gets whatever she wants like it became for jackie, the myth is she is our only hope. she is our savior and salvation and seer. and she doesn’t need to even say anything to make that so. jackie didn’t need to say anything to make them color her selfish (other, but bad). lottie doesn’t need to say anything to make them color her anointed (other, but good). she is girl vessel, girl hopes, girl dreams, a witch hunt where she Better Be A Witch.

doomcoming lottie snapped. she was On drugs and she was Off drugs and she was tired and she gave them something to cling to that they could shape into more with the seeds of the past (bear and blood and you get the picture) that they’d already been trying to plant in her image. (jackie did the same that night. she snapped, she yelled, she gave them something to cling to that they could shape into more with the seeds of the past that they’d already been trying to plant in her image, do you SEE??)

and of COURSE natalie understands both lottie and jackie. of course she knows what it’s like to be doing nothing but your best, to not want the responsibility, to be seen more as liability than asset, even though the only reason you can fail so hard is because you provide so much. before the crash and after, because girl carrying the weight of family secrets and girl who bears their insecurities and girl who SEES that they are insecure so she cannot even bring herself to be ANGRY with them and girl who hunts. girl who hunts and feeds, but now who hikes and disappoints, because there is no game to bring home, but that can only be Her Failure because it is Her Contribution, do you hear me are you with me??

so natalie walks for miles and she eulogizes jackie and she steps out of her reward her one small comfort and she makes sure that lottie sinks into the hot water and she apologizes, she apologizes, she apologizes. because maybe she’s mad, maybe she says it isn’t fair in the heat of the moment, but at the end of the day she knows who she is and what she is and all that they’ve made her and she carries that responsibility. (like jackie the girl she wasn’t home to save and lottie the girl she doesn’t know how to reach. it’s too late for them, there are no words to undo it. jackie was sealed when she made captain and natalie was sealed when she pulled the trigger and lottie was sealed when she warned van.)

and taissa finally TAISSA. she has hidden her secret. little girl looking in the mirror and seeing something that shouldn’t be there and older girl who is hearing things that she shouldn’t hear and leading people places she shouldn’t be able to lead them to. she doesn’t want it and she’s made it the Most Known of them all. don’t tell lottie, don’t tell the others, don’t bring it up. and van who champions her so naturally, so routinely, so lovingly for all the normal things. van who believes in the supernatural. van who has simply refused to die. van can’t hold it in anymore, because taissa’s sight Brought Back Javi. but tai doesn’t want her to mention it to the others. tai is perceptive and tai understands power struggles and she’s tired and hates this part of herself and she’s scared and she’s logical and she doesn’t want to Be Lottie (not lottie the girl from New Jersey who shoplifts, but lottie who better be a witch).

so maybe I’m seeing things myself, maybe I’m reading too deep, but here’s what I saw in old wounds.

lottie, who sits quietly while the others discuss her prophecy. lottie, who seems to have developed an openness to a different view of jackie in her death, because she was girl there and now she’s girl gone and she served them again in death and maybe lottie didn’t quite have the right idea of her and maybe lottie is in her seat now, in a way. lottie, who wanders into the snow without ever really agreeing because it was never really a choice, and cuts her hand because it can’t hurt IT CANT HURT.

natalie, who signed up to hunt when it was spring and warm and possible, who knows that it will be hers always and forever now. natalie, who will always be the reason they are starving, more than the reason they are fed. natalie, who is jealous of the girl who is bone, because she was allowed death. natalie, who has sympathy for all of them and knows that lottie has been made her rival through the mechanisms of group projection than her own volition. so she bathes her and tends to her and apologizes to her.

taissa, who has always been a leader and always been under scrutiny but did so in a way She Could Control. taissa, whose deepest secrets are being unfolded before her eyes because she can’t stop herself from divulging them when she is unconscious. taissa, who might start to think that maybe lottie didn’t ask for this.

so jackie is bone, and natalie is hunter, and lottie is seer, and taissa might be even more so. natalie alone in the realm of the mundane (for this), but aware of them all, so I’ll set her aside for a moment.

jackie accidentally opened the door to this spiritualism. she was the seance and doomcoming (and the first communion), but she didn’t mean for it to be that. she meant to cheer them up.

lottie thought that jackie had it wrong, thought that she didn’t use her position to protect the girls, because she refused to work with the woods and lottie tries to save them and protect them and negotiate with the wilderness for them.

taissa thinks that lottie has it wrong, because she feeds into their delusions and her power is a runaway train in this setting and taissa wants to keep them alive in the best way. the practical way. except that logical leadership never led to anything out here and her other self, her spiritual self, found javi after months.

pedestals and wrecking balls and clearer views once you’re hoisted up with the girls on them. girls who are not Them but who are What Others Say. shauna dictating jackie and mari dictating lottie and van dictating taissa and everyone dictating natalie. everyone meaning the best and riding the high of delivering it, until it’s cut out from beneath them. you don’t go from great to fine. the mighty don’t fall to land on a straw bed with the rest of them, thanks for trying and welcome back. they are Icarus and their love for the others is flight and their belief that They Can Do It Better is the sun and the sun burns. in death or in life or in dreams.

and maybe in old wounds lottie understood jackie a little more and taissa understood lottie a little more and nat, who has always been able to understand them all, can watch and wait and hope that it changes things. but it won’t. because they aren’t driving their own stories anymore.

so they’ll hunt and they’ll bleed and they’ll walk in their sleep and, no matter what they say or don’t say, the others will fill in the gaps.