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#man makes me feel so many emotions at the same time
ybklix · 3 days
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homewrecker!
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part one / PART TWO ★ pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader x lee minho
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✦summary: The game was fun, the secretive game of an affair with an older man using you as their toy in the hot and bright summer, so everything was perfect until someone decided to lose, involving feelings.
♡ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, bit angst, dilf hyunjin & minho, softdom!hyunjin, dom!minho, cheating, age gap, handjob, oral sex, rope play, daddy kink, pet names, unprotected sex, creampies, deepthroat, protected piv, fingering, sex toys, gaslighting ?
₊ ⊹ word count: 16.6k
masterlist - taglist ⭑.ᐟ
playlist: sad girl by lana del rey ♡ is there someone else? by the weekend ♡ criminal by fiona apple ♡ the other woman by lana del rey ♡ cry baby by the neighbourhood ♡ illicit affairs by taylor swift ♡ say my name/cry me a river by the neighbourhood
divider by roseraris
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It started as something simple at first, the idea of having you went to Hyunjin’s head and suddenly he couldn’t stop, his big problem was that he fell in love too fast. All his life the only woman he treated especially was his wife, after her no one caught his attention beyond just knowing their names and being merely kind and humanitarian until you came along. Suddenly his whole perfectly ordered life changed completely. You recognized that Hyunjin had a beautiful heart, leaving aside the fact that he cheated on his wife and it was absolutely an unforgivable act among many other misfortunes, but he was cute, kind, cared about you, showered you with expensive things, was quite the gentleman, after all he was older than you, had more experience, delighted you with so many pleasurable emotions, long panting nights and the most divine sex you could ever have, yet he was on the same level with Minho, as you could not choose with whom you liked to do it more.
You really believed that your situation with Hyunjin would be a one-time thing, something so exclusive and unique, an unforgettable experience, which it was, sex with him was like you had never experienced before, your first time was so desperate but sweet, as if both of your bodies were eager to meet, to collapse and have each other. When you ended it, you even got sad, not because of guilt, but because of the fact that maybe that could be the first and last time you would have Hyunjin, yet he took care to make it more than clear to you that he didn’t want it to be a one-time thing, subtly letting you know it between shy flirtations every time you had alone time at your sister’s house.
You never thought that, what you assumed to be a quiet summer at your sister’s husband’s house with her little stepson, would be for you a series of hot, fortuitous and indecent encounters with two married men. You were so amazed, you felt on fire every time you dressed up to see yourself with one of them, so secretly and vulgarly. And all thanks to the incredible rush of desire that filled your body, making you give oral sex to someone you should have never even seen in the first place. And you had to admit that at first you found it very hard not to fall in love with a man like Hyunjin, he had it all and was absolutely someone worth your time to meet, he was so soft spoken, his conversations were interesting, he had such a shy, tender and naive personality but something about him exuded so much confidence, it drove you crazy, he knew what he was capable of, he knew he was still young, just a little older than you, and he was in all his abilities to make you feel so good.
And after countless nights of incredible sex, little by little you sensed a feeling that you were forced to put aside, you were getting attached to Hyunjin and he was getting attached to you. It was impossible not to. You still remembered your first meeting, in that luxurious room, making you feel like a first class prostitute in a way since there was no one to fool, more than the rest of the world, you were about to have sex with Hwang Hyunjin, a married man you just met but you couldn’t avoid the immense sensations that suddenly tormented your body.
Hyunjin was out of his mind every time he was with you, as if he was a new person, he knew how incredibly wrong he was, but he wanted to have you and taste you entirely, he wanted to satisfy himself as much as he had never felt before.
You saw his adorable smile, a whole series of problems were triggered from there, he said, “I rented this room to be more comfortable, I hope you don’t mind.”
It was a freaking penthouse. You toured the place with your eyes, breathless. Of course you were fine, you were about to fuck in a king size bed with an attractive, interesting man and not in a small college dorm room with a guy your age who was almost behind in all his classes.
You were slightly nervous and smiled back at him, moving closer to him and hugging his abdomen. Hyunjin became a little nervous at your touch and you found his reaction so cute. You raised your eyes to look at him.
“That’s very nice, thank you.”
You thought the room would be a one night thing, just like that first time, but later you realized that he had rented it for a while just for your encounters, leaving you speechless.
“I want to do all the right things for you” he confessed, so sincere, caressing your face between his big hand.
The irony in doing the supposedly right thing with you by doing everything wrong. Whenever Hyunjin was with you there was no one else, he let you practice with him absolutely everything, as he knew he would take great pleasure anyway.
“I can’t wait to see it... all the good things” you replied, your cheeks growing warmer and warmer, “I think you still owe me something.”
“Ahh, yes” he replied, settling his body more comfortably between your arms and sticking closer to you, now holding your face with two of his hands, “About that…”
His hands were so warm, and the rings decorating his fingers were still the same temperature, both of you were already warm despite the cold atmosphere of the apartment and you saw his appetizing lips and handsome face move closer to you, trapping you in a kiss, the sensation descending from your mouth to your stomach, causing a tingle you had not felt in years. It felt so good. You closed your eyes, enjoying every soft rose of his plumpy lips colliding with yours, you were entering that zone so hastily, heating up your body more and wanting to get naked instantly.
Everything was sweet and tender until he gradually toned up, playing with you and introducing more of his tongue, doing it with a passion like you had never been kissed before. You were getting restless, Hyunjin knew so well what he was doing that you even felt like a first-timer at kissing, something as banal as kissing suddenly became the best sensation. You had never been touched like that, you were getting more and more excited; his soft nose caressing your face, the edges of his glasses touching your face and the play of breaths between hot and wet kisses, neither of you wanted to separate from the other, each kiss was better than the previous one, his lip control and strong jaw sent shocks and pleasurable pangs in every part of your body. You were so lost in him.
Separating slightly only for lack of air, you noticed an excited Hyunjin, leaving for a second his sweet and tender look that he always brought behind his glasses, appearing a darker and of desire under his straight and thick eyebrows, you wanted to fall before him, you were so surrendered that you couldn’t stand it anymore, you watched his chest rise and fall with intensity and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something so he did:
“Are you going to let me reward you tonight? You were really great that time, baby.”
His voice and warm breath heated every part of you, the way he moved his full lips as he spoke… you really were jealous that he wasn’t yours, wanting to show the world that he was the one man who made you so happy… and you hadn’t even fucked him, yet at that moment.
You nodded at his question, with a mischievous smile and looking him straight in the eyes and with your pupils dilated as if you were at the peak of some drug that was driving you to the clouds.
Hyunjin moved his hands down from your face to your ass, massaging and squeezing it, lifting your tight skirt up your body, finding his hand with your skin and the fabric of your panties since you weren’t wearing anything underneath but your underwear; he licked his lips, drawing you more and more into his body and you quickly got the idea to keep pleasuring him just like the first and last time you had him, at that time.
Your restless and slightly trembling hands reached for his belt, he noticed your intentions quickly and looked at you expectantly doing so raising his thick eyebrow slightly. You lowered your gaze to his already noticeable erection which surprised you every time, for your second time with him, you were still not used to the speed at which a handsome man like him reacts to you so quickly, getting aroused immediately, it seemed like a dream, one in which only you and he existed. Your pussy and heart were pounding, you wanted to have him already, just for you, moaning pleasurably in his manly voice about how much he was enjoying being with you in something so forbidden and improper. Seeing him finally, you were also unaccustomed to the large, protruding bulge, again projecting in your mind the image of his well-endowed penis and remembering the feel of his stiff, delicious cock in your mouth entwined on your tongue, your mouth salivated and every part of you reacted anxiously again mind. Hyunjin wouldn’t let that smug smile off his face, he was so engrossed in your face and your hands struggling with removing his belt, once you succeeded, you stroked his erection between his pants, rubbing your palm hard on it, to which Hyunjin reacted by closing his eyes in pleasure and biting his lip trying to hide the desperate desire he had to use his cock and stimulate it all over you, but he resisted, letting himself go and running his tongue around his cavity, mischievously once you unbuttoned the button of his pants and tentatively slipped your hand inside it to caress his member further.
“You want to taste me again, don’t you, my pretty little doll?”
You looked into his eyes again, the sweet tone in which he spoke had awakened in you even more desire. You lowered your gaze again, his huge bulge bulging in his open zipper, tight against the soft black fabric of his underwear, you thought of nothing else but the incredibly sweet and handsome Hwang Hyunjin, so willing to you with his super big boy-making machine, the thought of his cum in you drove you crazy and turned you on even more. You nodded once more at his response, impatient to do so and unable to speak, you didn’t know what to say, you wanted no other sound in the room but his own manly sounds of pleasure and heavy breaths.
“Did you really like it last time?” he said again, still in a smug tone and taking your chin gently to look into your eyes.
His gaze was darker than the last time you saw them until just seconds ago, his sweet countenance was slowly fading, watching you with pure desire; Hyunjin couldn’t remember the last time he felt absolutely absorbed by sex, with his heart outside his chest, all of him so tense, so rigid and able to fuck for hours, it was as if all his discharge was about to be released, all the unsatisfied nights about to be fulfilled in such a dirty fantasy and taking it out on you.
“Y-yes” you replied, almost breathless and slightly embarrassed that it came out that way.
Hyunjin didn’t resist, finding your response so adorable, your big eyes begging for sex and every detail of you unhinged him in seconds, moving closer to you and kissing you again, slowly catching your lips, gently, softly, still holding your face as his tongue slid nimbly into you, so artfully caressing his tongue with yours, never leaving the feel of his fleshy lips on yours, he kissed so well, you had never paid attention to the details of a good kiss until being touched by him, it was as if you had only kissed out of commitment, because it's like an automatic thing where things worked but you had never stopped to think about how much you enjoyed it, when it was being well executed, each shy but bold movement of his mouth was perfect.
The sound of both mouths colliding made you pleasantly restless. The seconds turned into long minutes as you were desperate to feel it. His other hand was resting comfortably on your lower back, and as he pulled away, you noticed his lips glistening at you.
“Then do exactly what you would like to do, princess.”
He was splendidly ecstatic and you were barely touching his erection on the fabric of his boxer briefs, but he was more than sure of the incredible and delicious experience that was about to take place and how he was going to feel.
You were desperate yet you shyly pulled his cock out of his underwear, stroking it and still looking into his eyes just the way he liked it, you began to stroke him thoroughly, masturbating him with both your hands on his pulsating organ full of energy and load to be discharged, ready to be used, you felt his exposed length, his uncovered skin so intimately being caressed by you, taking it from his glans, stroking it gently all the way down the rest of his cock, pulling and touching everything in its path as you witnessed the inevitable pleasure Hyunjin was receiving, making sweet moans of satisfaction.
Your pussy reacted harder, you needed him now as you had never needed someone before, the sensations were getting more and more intense, you bit your lip, imagining desirously the feeling of his cock filling every inch of you, but you wanted to suck him at the same time, you didn’t know what was happening to you, it was like you were ovulating but 10 times worse, maybe it was just the fact of having Hwang Hyunjin that made you like this. On the other hand, you could notice how he was willing to do all that for you…. he was letting himself be touched by you, he was on the verge of collapse, being so stimulated but it was a painfully pleasant delight, his mind was working on his triggered hormones that were taking care of his libido and arousal, but at the same time that smart, mature brain was thinking from time to time how bad that was, how much he had to stop just now… but he was already doing it, the infidelity and sin were already committed, he had already acted impulsively by renting a place to sin and commit atrocious acts behind everyone’s back… why would he stop right now if you were an extremely attractive young girl willing to please him and work on the pleasure of both, Hyunjin was in his never-ending internal war, that’s why the process was painful but extremely hot.
You could feel his needy expression, his tongue running over his lips, it was making you hotter the fact that you had that version of him, a poor and defenseless man in need of sex, looking for an easy way to free himself, it was very clear to you how easy and naive you were acting, besides wrong and inappropriate in every way but honestly you didn’t care, at the end of the day you would seek your pleasure and you would not finish until you were completely satisfied, it was going to be an unforgettable night for you, your hand was already on his cock, you already had the man yielded and surrendered to you with his soft expression on his face while you were already starting to get on your knees without wasting any time.
You slightly pulled down his clothes to finally see completely what you were about to entertain yourself with for a very sweet time and saw for a second his erect member move gracefully as you let go of holding it for a moment, to later hold it again and finally bring it closer to your mouth while every part of your body throbbed in excitement like you had never done before, this time it was stronger than that time at your sister’s house and less risky, because while the adrenaline and risk of being discovered that time did not compare to the comforting feeling of being absolutely alone without being interrupted and that after oral sex you could simply go on and on, or so you hoped, Hyunjin was so fucking eager and full of energy to continue as many rounds as necessary because just now there seemed to be no end to it.
You stuck out your tongue to slowly savor his length, playing with his tip, making smooth little circles on it, playing with your saliva and his precum, making him shudder and moan in between gasps, Hyunjin was in paradise right now, at least in the sinful and tentative pleasure filled paradise, the sensations filled his body, traveling from his sensitive cock being stimulated and spreading down his abdomen until they reached every corner of him, bristling every hair on his body, the idea of having another woman other than his wife filled him with such inexplicable pleasure, the idea of something forbidden filled his veins completely, it had been a long time since he had been sexually pleasured, no one had been given the task of satisfying him with such patience and tranquility as you were doing just now, taking your time licking his entire length, playing with the rest of his cock, with the feel of his skin in your hand, with your mouth taking it completely and caressing the softness of your cheeks and lips. He was crazy.
You felt that tickle in your nose as it stretched from trying to open your whole mouth so you could take his erection completely, you were already being so weak in your first seconds, tearing from your eyes, crying from your sensitive genitals desperate for action, still you found your rhythm, moving your head all over his cock in a perfect bobbing motion that made the poor needy body of that man whose mistress you turned into, slowly suffer, slowly bringing him to his orgasm. You had your fun, looking into his eyes with his manhood in your mouth filling every part of your cavity, drooling at the satisfaction of both of you and flooding the place with his gasps.
Hyunjin was a bit noisy, you thought, and you complained absolutely nothing, his moans motivated you more and more, you wanted to see him cum, you wanted to make your little mess with his cum in you, you needed it, you were so desperate to have something from him as sadly deep down you believed and recognized that it was the only thing you could get from him or someone like him, his countless sleepless nights of pleasure and eroticism.
He held your hair, gently guiding and pushing from your head as he grunted so close to his orgasm for you, he was sorry, he wanted to stop, to tell you to stop so you could let him use your pussy and start fucking you… as he feared he could never be this erect again with that same fucking Viagra quality intensity. Instead, Hyunjin started babbling, letting himself be carried away by your warm tongue and mouth taking care of something so intimate to him. Finally he threw his head back cumming in exasperation as you felt the intensity of his sex throbbing and like a good girl you waited for all his discharge on your tongue.
Hyunjin saw in a blur, he was in heaven but it still didn’t compare to the image he would have of you on your knees, surrendered to him, so he went back to his position to watch the scene of his cock collapsing and spilling all of him on your restless tongue, reaching his orgasm.
When he finished and you swallowed it all quietly, you stood up again and stared at him. You were so excited and desperate that if he touched you suddenly you could fall into a thousand pieces. You were a little bomb about to explode. Hyunjin caressed your cheek as he saw your piercing dark gaze, he couldn’t resist any longer and it was as if his fear had never happened, he became erect and hard again at his unstoppable imagination and desire to have you.
He took it upon himself to delicately clean around your mouth stained in his white semen and the small mess combined with your saliva, running his thumb over your skin to then move closer and kiss you, tasting himself, witnessing what he was capable of on that very night.
His kisses trailed down as he gently held you by your neck, you were being seduced by his gentle movements until he slowly made you get undressed, lifting your blouse and removing your bra; you had absolutely no problem with him seeing you naked, you wanted to be so vulnerable for him if only for one night. Hyunjin played with your breasts for a while, he licked and sucked your nipples until he left them sensitive while you tried not to moan so loudly, once he left your sensitive skin slightly red as a sign of being well stimulated, he smiled arrogantly, and kept lowering his mouth and warm breath that before you knew it, he was already squatting, doing exactly the same process you did with him, pulling down your skirt and panties, taking with his fleshy lips all over your pussy, kissing your mons pubis and focusing on your clit, sucking on it. You lowered your gaze, trembling and moaning to find the sweet scene of his nose colliding with the skin of your pubis, his soft black hair and his mouth trying more and more to take you completely.
Hyunjin smiled at the feel of your throbbing sex on his tongue and wanted to eat you whole, but once again he was so desperate that he wanted only to make sure how very wet and ready you were to finally get his cock ready for you. But you held on to him, getting weaker and weaker and moaning louder and louder as his tongue skillfully traced strokes through your slick, stretching more of his muscle to encompass more of you, you felt the vibration of his insides as he was savoring and tasting you completely, his whole body filled with pleasure as he tasted again the very sweet and young womanhood, to which in the process of his complete relishing, he hummed in pleasure.
Suddenly you felt the softness of his fingertips playing with your entrance, by then you knew exactly what was waiting for you, so you closed your eyes and bit your lip letting yourself go, letting that married man insert two of his fingers into you at your tight entrance because of your standing position, a gasp escaping from your lips, feeling the tension in your body grow but at the same time feeling a relief, as it was exactly what you wanted from the beginning, his long fingers sliding into you, knowing how to please you.
“Hy-yunjin” you moaned his name as you felt the tingling inside you deepening.
His fingers were long and of perfect girth, they went into you perfectly, suddenly you were full, with his mouth on your pussy and his fingers fucking you. He would part your folds with his free hand and every now and then he would stroke his sensitive cock as eating you stimulated him too much and feeling his fingers wrapped around you made him crazy, you didn’t think you could hold out that long, his tongue moved slow but his fingers were so fast and skillful they made your walls vibrate, it was a different rhythm but perfect, you were feeling so good, your nipples were getting hard and the knot in your stomach started to appear and when you were lubricating yourself more and more, moaning louder and louder, feeling orgasm near, Hyunjin withdrew his fingers from you leaving you feeling a huge emptiness for long and whining seconds, he also pulled his mouth away and laughed softly but in a teasing tone.
That was the first time he was 'spontaneous’ like that and the first time in all your encounters where he provoked you so much to the point of denying you an orgasm or stopping you from having one.
“Pretty doll, I think you’re ready to take me now, aren’t you, my good girl?” he said, still with his smile lifting his gaze and gently stroking your folds making you sigh.
You almost trembled at the sound of it. He was about to do it and it turned you on again. You nodded softly, lost in the desire in his dark brown eyes, your breath already heaving.
Hyunjin stood up again, staring at you as if to seize you, and kissed you passionately again, this time in a more desperate act and pushing your body gently until he guided you into the bedroom. Your eyes were closed, letting yourself be carried away by everything he was doing to you, but you felt him pull away from you and your legs bumped against the edge of the bed and as you fully opened your eyes you saw a restless Hyunjin gesturing for you to lie down on it.
You were impatient too, your whole vibrant body was, so agitated to finally commit the even greater sin. To top it off with the best.
He was so hot despite the pleasant temperature of the place that he was even slightly starting to sweat, so almost in a quick and reflex movement, you watched Hyunjin take off his buttoned shirt desperately, but doing it so nimbly with his long fingers and finally, you observed his lean and subtly worked body, his smooth shoulders and smooth muscular arms accompanied by noticeable veins. You slowly lay back on the bed, shyly spreading your legs as you watched his intimidating naked figure in front of you. His notorious, pink, long, and veiny cock, his smooth abs, you were at such an aroused point that every part of you was throbbing hard and you began to watch almost in slow motion Hyunjin’s steps to go to the nightstand, caress his well-foreplayed cock and put on a condom so latex-thin still letting you appreciate the details of rigid masculinity.
He was already more than ready because he knew that night you were going to be his only and when he finally approached you, the fear and excitement grew, you hadn’t thought it, but Hyunjin was huge. Every inch of his pumping sex lined up at your entrance, whose glistening, swollen pussy Hyunjin appreciated, running his fingers one last time in it to then take his cock.
His body moved closer to yours, your eyes couldn’t miss his long length but as you felt his warm, heaving breaths close, you sought to see his face.
“I’m gonna fuck your pretty pussy, fuck baby, is that alright?” he whispered licking his lips so lasciviously without even waiting for an answer as his tip was sliding into you.
His slim build over yours aroused you, his voice, his dirty little comment and the fact that he was already inserting himself inside altered every function of your brain. You nodded in desperation.
“Yes, Hyunjin, yes, please” you gasped as you squealed as his cock stretched your entrance.
You squealed as you felt your walls making room for his swollen cock and arched your back in desperation as you felt him deep inside you, letting out a choked moan. Fucking your pussy was a nice way of putting it, Hyunjin was slowly tearing you apart.
Hyunjin saw your naked body in a submissive position ready to receive his cock. He luridly watched his glans entering you, your little pussy stretching as more and more went in. He groaned too at the fluffy, soft feel of your insides, still struggling to adjust to his size. Somehow he was so fucking ecstatic and proud, to see you almost sobbing and the way your face reflected surprise, pain and pleasure was almost to him artistic. Wasn’t his cock all you’d been acting a little loopy about anyway? Now you had to take it so well. So he thought.
“I'm going to move, gorgeous, okay?”
Once again you nodded and Hyunjin took pity on you, leaving his beastly carnal desires behind and that night he almost made love to you. His thrusts were slow and deep, his whole body enjoyed being in sync and closeness with you. He breathed in your scent as he pounded your pussy and rejoiced in the sound of your skins colliding and your soft moans. You didn’t expect him to do it this way, but it felt so good, it tickled deep inside you and slid deliciously into your walls, Hyunjin had incredible control in his hips as you clung to his back and smelled the sweet scent of his long dark hair.
As you joined faces, you reflexively took off his glasses, appreciating his handsome masculine face, so defined, his slanted eyes, his plump pink lips… all while he kept on ramming you, you kissed him, you couldn’t help it, it was a dream, a man really fucking you for real, not doing it desperately in senseless and frantic movements. You really didn’t expect it, you thought he would take all his frustration out on you and use you like a rag doll but no, Hyunjin wasn’t like that, even with his mistress, and another woman, he was a real gentleman, looking out for your pleasure as well.
That night you saw stars like you had never seen before, you swooned under his body, you climaxed at such a high point. You wanted to do it every day, you wanted to kiss him and see his face when you woke up and when you slept, you were so crazy that you even suddenly wanted a life together with Hyunjin. But too bad for you.
Hyunjin cum in the condom still in you after rhythmic thrusts, rubbing his naked abdomen against yours. In a delicious grunt you were never going to forget.
But that was only the encounter of many and after that, Hyunjin would take you out on dates so as not to look so desperate or so bad that only the two of you would hang out at the hotel waiting for sex, for he was still a gentleman, an unfaithful one but one who knew how to treat a woman well.
     ⊹  ︶︶  ୨୧  ︶︶  ⊹ 
However, not everything was as sweet as Hyunjin’s artwork. You began to suspect the sweet feelings Hyunjin had for you after Minho started to suspect you had someone else, someone else to have fun having sex with and filling you to the fullest, which burned with jealousy in him, as he believed you were just his, his beautiful little toy that he took away from society 3 times a week and fucked her dumb. A possession and prize for him after pretending to be a perfect husband to someone whom he believed she was gradually ceasing to love.
In Minho’s own words, grabbing you roughly by the face with his hand to make you look him in the eyes, while he was teasing you with his hard cock between your folds about to enter you, “Why would I fuck you sweetly? If I wanted to do it that way then I fuck my wife. Look at you, you’re such a little slut, fucking a married man for pleasure, following him into the fucking woods, bad little girls like you deserve a lesson.”
Every cutting, insulting word from him shouldn’t have turned you on, but it did. Maybe you liked to suffer a little and perfectly balance Hyunjin’s sweet sex, with Minho’s rough treatment.
With Minho it was different, he went straight to you after the first time you fucked, asking you if you wanted to continue doing it with him to which you shyly answered yes, with a smug smile he took you to your sister’s house after leaving you completely fucked and shaken, still on cloud nine.
And the agreement was simple, 7 days a week and being married men with families, being absent every day in their homes would look too bad, so, life gave you one more chance to take advantage of such a risky situation. Both men could not see you on what they called a family Sunday, more so for Hyunjin who used to attend church, but for Minho it was a day when he, previously, used to have fun activities with his family, taking his wife and children to small trips, encouraging happy recollections and memories to his little son, besides that it used to be a day when his wife did not work, but everything had changed, even before fucking with you and being unfaithful, Suji was not available or enthusiastic to do those little activities, yet Minho took care of both of them children and took them to fun activities in the city or out of town on his own.
So, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday were days dedicated to Hyunjin, and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday were for Minho. You felt so bad, but so good, when you completed your first week of madness, getting pleasure from both sides every day, you were shocked at how fast your body was recovering and you were getting more and more ready and thirsty for more and more. You had a slight fear of ending up addicted to sex, but you couldn’t help it, you were so young and capable that you could just do it all the time, at least with them.
You didn’t know much about Minho, nor do you now. You didn’t know what his real intentions were beyond just sex but you were already riding in his car about to pull away from society at his cabin. He was so reserved and spoke very little, it was hard for him to get into trust with people but in your extra time, in the sweet time you treasure as your sweetest prized possession, are the memories of the little moments you spend with him after sex, where sometimes he turns tender, apologizes to you softly for being rough while whispering, among one of his things “Daddy is here to make you feel good”. The memories where he would invite you into his kitchen to join him and watch him cook as he slowly reveals details of his life.
Minho’s simplicity drove you crazy. His serious and mysterious countenance, but the fact that he is a simple man full of sexual appetite, willing to risk his life to spend a few hours with you… thrilled your naive and young heart.
The idea to go to the cabin was clearly his. At first, you found it strange but exciting. Minho had bought it to treasure it as something familiar, like a beach house, but this was more him, the Lee’s cabin. Minho bought it as a wedding gift in his third year with Suji, but she hated it slightly, claiming it was more a place for him than for her, as she was well settled and adapted to the city, the darkness of the forest at night terrified her and because of her busy job she couldn’t get out of the city that much. Minho expressed his dissatisfaction with his wife’s glamour and how it became exaggerated. Still, Suji spent some time with him there, then showed herself completely uninterested in accompanying him to what he only used to take his son to, walking him, taking him fishing, or camping.
You had so many questions, but you were saving every one of them. You didn’t want to say something that he would take it the wrong way and suddenly stop talking to you completely. One of the questions that was on your mind was… if Suji and he seemed so different, how could they even get married? Their goals seemed to be so different and every time Minho said something about her it seemed as if she hated him, but he ended up saying that’s just the way they were. The complications of marriage were so much for you, who had never fallen so hard for someone to fantasize about spending the rest of your life together with that person.
But sometimes… just sometimes, you tried to put yourself in their wives’ shoes. And you had to admit that you were a soulless fucking son of a bitch. You suffered nothing. You didn’t bear the pain or responsibility of carrying their children. You were just being “rewarded”, god knows - even if you weren’t the most religious - how much you might have to pay later for the consequences of your actions.
There was a big discrepancy between Minho and Hyunjin, but you couldn’t deny that Hyunjin let you learn so much from him, as he was always the first, and he was the first in everything, or at least in your hot and fierce encounters as you used to start your week with a full dose of him. He would let you explore his body and yours, he would let you know how exactly he liked things and where exactly he felt the most excitement; he was so sweet and it was all about effective communication to result in the most delicious pleasure for both of you.
Hyunjin would show you how to move, whispering softly and encouraging you, which made you so horny and flushed in the face from how much you were enjoying it. He would guide your hands and body where to touch, your mouth what to taste, suck, lick, and nibble subtly; skills you would later put into practice with Minho and exasperated amidst the delight of sexual activity he would babble to you, “Fuck, kitten, where did you learn that from? You do it so well.” You were more than happy to be Hyunjin’s star student.
Minho, despite being cold and distant, his intentions with you did not go beyond those attitudes, he was with you for his continuous battle of hormones and thoughts, to release in you all his pent-up frustration, but he was careful with what he did since unlike Hyunjin, Minho didn’t dare to take you out in the daylight in the city, so better both of you would step aside to enjoy your moment alone, he would take you to the small town near his home in the woods where people rarely knew him and give you the most pleasurably steamy sex.
It wasn’t something he always did in every one of your encounters but Minho liked to tie your hands, to restrict your movement as he watched your fucked face crying for more and more. So it was something he did, sometimes he dressed you in nice lingerie so he could cum on the thin pieces of cloth that minimally covered your body, or sometimes he left you absolutely naked, ordering you to stand still without moving and putting your hands back while he tightly bound your wrists in a skill he had with knots.
You moaned at the sensation of the rope squeezing and rubbing your skin as you were uncontrollably aroused. You couldn’t help it, you were slightly familiar with rope play, when certain toys were used for sex, domination, fetishes to call it a certain way, among other things, but you had never experienced it, no one had ever been so creative and open with you sexually. Until you met Minho, a very peculiar man who hid all his desires under an attractive and demure image of a simple family man. He came up to you and kissed you passionately, you enjoyed every second of it as he rarely kissed you and you felt that he had to be the one to come up and do it. You were even left wanting to feel more of his lips, innocently seeking his touch as you reached out a little for your neck once he was slowly pulling away from you, making him smile at your act.
Minho made you call him daddy when you were having sex, to obey him and now he was tying your wrists together as he put his warm hand on your shoulder gently pushing you onto the bed once he finished tying you up, making you face down.
Minho prepared the sex toy he was going to use on you, filling you with lust using your young body for his experimentation and pleasure. You watched him take a vibrator in his hand and position himself on his knees on the bed beside your naked, tied up body.
You were so fucking aroused, your pussy slick, and your heavy breathing pressing against your chest against the bed.
“Did you buy it for me, daddy?”
Talking to him like that turned him on so badly, and it seemed so dirty to you that you liked to play along.
“Of course I did, little girl. You know how much I love to play with my pretty doll.”
Minho smiled, mischievously. You observed his complexion and the large erection trapped in his pants. You bit your lip. You were beginning to lose your sanity and he still hadn‘t touched you. Until he did, pulling your legs apart and starting to run his fingers through your slick, reaching down to your sensitive spot and making you weak from his lightest touch.
“Oh, kitten, why are you so wet already? If daddy just started touching you… Tell me what you were thinking, pretty girl” Minho whispered the last sentence, pushing the loose hair away from your face so you could get a better look.
The strokes of his fingers on you became more consistent, making you moan audibly.
“About… you, daddy.”
“About me how?” he blinked with sudden fake innocence as he suddenly pinched your clit, causing you to flex your legs in response.
You looked straight into his big brown eyes, you didn’t understand how such a sweet look was wanting to torture you a little.
“About how you touch me…”
“Ahh, I see” he spoke, almost downplaying your comment, “You like it when I make you feel good?”
Minho rubbed his fingers all over your labia spreading your slick fluids one last time and massaged your ass before taking the bright pink toy.
“Come here, turn around, kitten” he ordered you softly.
Minho took you tightly by the shoulders without hurting you and with a little help from you, you turned your body, leaving your hands slightly uncomfortable behind on your lower back, with your body on top of your arms. You watched him take the vibrator and turn it on.
“Open you legs, sweetie.”
You swallowed nervously and obeyed him, giving him the full view of your exposed vulva. Minho smiled mischievously again at the sight of your exposed, glistening genitals.
“You’re so pretty, my doll” he commented in a raspy voice.
You bit your lip as you watched Minho hold the device and bring it closer to your entrance, he licked his lips as he gently inserted it, watching the chunky but small object slide easily inside you, as you instantly felt every stimulation on your walls and he settled the rest of the toy between your folds to leave another part of the device on your clit. You gasped loudly, the vibrations were so intense encompassing every part of you.
“Did I put it in you right, honey?” he asked softly to which you awed at his concern.
You nodded, trying not to squeal in excitement, but it was in vain, your walls and clit were vibrating non-stop, you were building your arousal slowly, tensing every part of your body, from your still arms under your body to your restless legs twitching at the pleasure.
Every muscle in you suddenly felt so stiff and the intimidating image of Minho were not helping you at all, you were being so ridiculously stimulated that you thought you would collapse at any moment, you were dripping in fluids, you felt them sliding into your labia majora, making a little mess on Minho’s sheet. You whimpered, building your orgasm closer and closer.
“Are you enjoying it, honey?” Minho brought his face close to yours, brushing the tip of his sharp nose with yours, “You have to tell me when you’re about to cum, okay?”
His eyes grew wide, watching you warningly and intimidating you.
“Yes, daddy” you whimpered.
You whined for yourself, the vibrator was filling your pussy and stimulating your clit and every inch of your vulva successfully, you raised your pelvis in desperation, the ties suddenly felt so infuriating. But Minho silenced your stifled moans in a savage kiss, playing with your hard nipples and squeezing your breasts. And moments later, you felt it, your fluids leaking out of you, your body getting more restless and feeling the tension in your muscles more intense, you were about to cum.
Minho felt the force of your collapsing body and pelvis twitching almost looking for a way out of the constant stimulation your body was under, so he pulled his lips away from yours and immediately when he did you whimpered:
“Daaddy, I’m abo-ut t…. please.”
You couldn’t even speak. You wanted release in your orgasm and from the bonds in your arms.
“Good girl. I think you’ve had enough for now.”
Minho pulled away from you and deftly removed the toy from inside you. Leaving you with every hair standing on end near your orgasm and an empty sensation, but still spasming from the vibrations. You moaned softly as the device slipped completely out of you and Minho tossed it already turned off to the side of the bed.
“Okay, up up up, kitten” Minho bit his inner lip, helping to support your body so you could sit up.
Once again, you let him help you, you were agitated and confused, about to cum with intensity that you weren’t thinking clearly what was next or what his next move might be, Minho tenderly caressed your face as you looked slightly tired and you knew immediately as soon as you saw his hands on the button of his jeans.
You came back to your senses as you saw Minho’s well erect and rigid cock pointed directly at your face.
He grabbed it almost from its base, to direct his glans to your face and spread his glistening precum on your lips.
“Come on, little girl, get daddy’s cock ready with your pretty little mouth before you take it. Open wide.”
You tasted his cock and Minho almost pushed it all in one gentle thrust leaving you breathless. You looked into his eyes, in a pleading way. Everything inside you burned with lust, every time you were with Minho you couldn’t help but feel like a little toy for the purpose of his own pleasure, it was almost as if you ceased to be human and desire consumed you completely.
Your eyes began to water, you were losing your breath, your stability and your mouth was dripping as the inside of your cheeks and palate remembered every vein of his thick cock gently entering your throat. Minho watched you expectantly, holding your jaw and the back of your head. He moaned at the sensation of your cavity surrounding his cock, the softness of your palate and the graze of your teeth as his length gradually filled your throat. The veins in his neck became present, he was truly enjoying it and when he felt he had touched a sweet spot in you, he began to move fucking your tight mouth and throat.
You cried out in desperation and moved your agitated torso, unable to hold onto his thighs because of your tied hands, he was in complete control of you. You felt your heart pounding intensely, shortening your breath.
Minho wiped away your tears, ramming you thirteen more times until he left your organ aching and pulled out of you, with a cocky grin. You breathed again.
“Lick it, kitten.”
He asked you, your jaw and throat were sore, but you did your best to run your tongue along his pumping length.
“You’re behaving so well, now face down again, pretty baby, get your little pussy ready for daddy.”
You were slightly exhausted but with every muscle in your pussy throbbing, you were so eager for an orgasm.
“Arch your back and lift your ass, good kitty.”
You did exactly his every command, with all your muscles tense, you couldn’t see anything, your cheek was glued to the bed but you perfectly felt his thick cock stretch your entrance as he sought to penetrate you.
You whimpered again, Minho exasperated relieved to have his hard cock between your walls, deep inside you, it was like his reward after a long day. He thought how good you felt and that all the sizzling foreplay was something he couldn’t do with his wife, but that’s what you were there for. To enjoy some very long lasting sex full of provocation.
Minho started ramming you deep and bestially, babbling almost furiously how much he was enjoying it, holding onto your hips, moving every inch of your insides in a wild pounding and bumping of skin on skin. You were so weak, if you could barely support yourself on your knees and arch your back properly.
“Don’t you love when daddy fucks you hard like a fucking slut, huh? Oh fuckkk, I’m gonna cum inside your pussy, baby.”
You moaned louder as you felt his deep thrusts and his warm cum spurt out of him inside you followed by his deep gasps and heavy breathing and unexpectedly, your walls squeezed his limb, finally releasing you in your long awaited orgasm. You were breathless. Full of…
“Full of daddy’s cum, my kitty” spoke Minho proudly, sliding his length from you.
You were tired, that you wanted to relax your back, but Minho’s hands kept holding your hips, to see the spectacle of your used and quivering orifice covered in his white cum. When he had filled with his dirty show and mark on you, he let your body fade away and untied your hands.
“Aren’t you perfect? You’re so young and sweet, you never seem to get filled.”
You felt the release and circulation of your upper limbs again. You smiled happily. You had enjoyed it too much.
Minho carried you lightly, turning your body again. You watched him lewdly again, you felt less submissive once you could use your hands and noticed how well erect his penis was again, he undressed his body quickly, bringing his strong frame close to yours.
You loved the difference between the two men, Hyunjin was leaner, but Minho had smooth and noticeable pecs and stronger arms. You were aroused again.
“Fuck, baby girl, I need you again” he moaned, stroking his cock and bringing his face close to yours.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking his straight dark hair. You looked up at him, more boldly with a cocky grin.
“I need you too again, daddy. I want you to cum all over me.”
Sex with Minho was so dirty, rough, irresponsible and unapologetically.
But Minho’s perspectives and intentions changed completely once he began to suspect that you were hiding something, he felt it initially but tried not to take it importance, he knew there was a little secret in you of which he wasn’t entirely sure what it could be about, but he found out one Wednesday afternoon when he was so particularly needy and needed to take it out on someone of which that person was you. All that Wednesday he kept thinking about you, it had been a long and heavy day that, although he didn’t like to confess it that way, he urgently needed to be in your arms, he fantasized hard about what kind of activity and process he could control and subdue you, testing your pleasure and a little of your young body’s stamina, just as he loved it.
It was one evening, about to get dark while you were frantically making out with Hyunjin in his car facing some random alley, on your way when Hyunjin came to pick you up at one of your secret spots, a random library where you lied to your sister that you had to go for certain college supplies. You both couldn’t resist and he stopped the car to start kissing and touching you, almost to the point of starting to have sex there, you were enjoying it, the feeling of his desperate lips against yours and his restless hand seeking to stimulate your clit under your skirt, of which you had decided to play a little dirty today, not wearing underwear for your lover.
“Mmm, baby, please don't do this me… you're not wearing panties? Why…?” whispered Hyunjin drunk in your kisses, still with his eyes closed and near your lips, surprised not to feel any fabric covering your pussy, other than the soft skin of your public mound.
You smiled guiltily and felt his finger caress your clit. Hyunjin’s erection throbbed in the firm denim of his jeans. You couldn’t help it, you loved how incredibly big Hyunjin looked, without needing to be hard, so you stroked his bulge.
“You were all the time waiting for me with nothing under your skirt? You’re a very very bad girl…” he whispered again, catching your lips and grabbing your neck, nothing short of taking you and fucking you in his car.
The tension was growing more and more, his tongue was getting more and more naughty in your cavity… but to your bad luck, you forgot to silence your phone, so the thunderous sound of a message notification slowly drove you away.
First it was a message. You didn’t care but the sound became insistent. Hyunjin moved away from you slowly, returning to his place as a driver and moving his hand away under your skirt. You pouted.
Hyunjin closed his eyes deeply and shook his head, returning to his sanity of not being able to fuck you in broad daylight in an alley that was public road.
“You must answer, it seems to be important.”
“It’s nothing, I just forgot to put it on silent, Hyunjin, plea-” you leaned in again to kiss him, not taking your hand off his erection, but another notification sound interrupted you.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I can’t fuck you here anyway… Let me buy you some dinner first, okay?” he told you sweetly, taking the wheel and pulling your hand away from his cock and leaning over to give you a soft, tender kiss on the cheek.
You nodded resignedly, watching him sweetly and Hyunjin started the car. You took out your phone without a problem, but you almost turned pale when you read what it was about. 10 messages from Lee Minho. You looked at Hyunjin in fright, but he didn’t seem to notice your nervous expression as he kept driving so attractively and calmly.
You opened the chat with curiosity, that Minho was not usually so insistent.
Where are you? I want to see you Now Are you at chan’s house? I’ll pick you up Wear something nice😉 It’s gonna be a long night Why don’t you answer? I want to see you Can you today?
That day you answered him that you couldn’t. Minho called you instantly, but you ignored each of his calls, the next day was so bad for you, he wanted to know what you were doing, asking you like a normal person, but you lied slightly nervous that you had some night courses at the university and you couldn’t see him. But Minho still suspected something and that made him uneasy. He took the moment to spank you and remind you how available you must be whenever daddy needed you, but even with the hardest smack you couldn’t tell him you were with Hyunjin.
That Wednesday was also not particularly sweet for Hyunjin once he arrived home as nervousness and guilt consumed him like never before. Hyunjin was comfortably buttoning his loose silk pajamas, sitting on the edge of the bed ready to sleep, he had taken a long shower even though he had already done it at your apartment, but if he didn’t it would be suspicious since he was supposed to have come in extremely tired from overtime at his job where he had accepted a program where he educated newbies and stayed extra hours to plan the activities they could do… a lot of bullshit, he had the time of his life eating you whole and tasting every part of you. So in that intimate moment for him with the water pouring over his body, where he thought about you all the time even as he closed his eyes, all he saw was you, he was a mess because of you, you made him smile like a fool without realizing, that if he barely remembered he was about to sleep in the same bed with his wife.
But his smile was gently wiped off his face when he felt his wife hug him from behind, surprising him. Yeji felt the softness of Hyunjin’s pajamas and settled her face on his shoulder.
“You must be so tired… you work so hard, how many weeks has it been already since you’ve been staying late?” she spoke softly kissing his neck.
Instead of thinking about how many days he had been lying to her and dating you, he thought about when was the last time Yeji had come close to touching him, in a more daring way. Hyunjin knew her too well, knew the intentions of her hands caressing his chest and the tone in which she spoke.
He remained unresponsive to her. Still with so many thoughts suddenly, he had the slight feeling that even being his wife, her touching him felt so wrong.
“I have to tell you something I found out,” she said again.
Hyunjin’s body tensed as he recognized the seriousness in her tone and he turned his body to look at her, but he couldn’t meet her eyes.
Yeji had had such a peculiar afternoon and she had to tell her husband. Hyunjin saw her, her serious countenance suddenly formed a smile, confusing him.
“I didn’t want to tell you but… I went shopping today and the employees kept telling me if I wanted another pair… that you had already been there, shopping.”
Hyunjin’s heart stopped for a second. He was thankful that everything he gave you was a surprise gift and that he never took you to the stores, his guilty mind put together in seconds the scenario of his wife going shopping and the gossiping employees telling her that he usually takes another woman. Hyunjin got scared and reflected it softly on his face to which Yeji noticed it, so she ran her hand along his arm, innocently thinking that he got nervous after discovering a surprise for her.
“It’s okay, I’m very grateful, honey… but had second thoughts. You work too hard and we can save the money, I think the kids will need it more than I need another pair of fancy shoes.”
Hyunjin sketched a smile, his heart racing and feeling like the worst man in the world, like a criminal on trial pressed for his crimes. He watched his wife’s sweet smile.
“Ah, I see, so… do I return everything?” he replied nervously.
“I don’t want you to feel bad, honey, but it was seriously a lot of expensive stuff, I was impressed.”
And none of it was for her. Yeji approached him still with a smile. It seemed strange at first… but her brain connected the dots that her husband was so busy that he even stopped giving her his little details like the weekly bouquet of flowers he used to give her, so he wanted to reward her in an ostentatious way.
“It’s okay, darling I understand” Hyunjin answered her still agitated but relieved, trying to ignore her dangerous and seductive closeness.
“Although… the limited edition Versace bag? Really, baby? For me? There was only one in the country. Mmm, maybe I can keep just that one. Thanks.”
Hyunjin almost trembled, yes he had acquired it, but for you. He was about to give it to you for your date on Friday, but at least he would have a chance to give it to his wife and not look entirely like a villain. He let out a nervous smile, he had already imagined the sparkle in your eyes when you opened the gift, which now could no longer belong to you.
She moved closer to him, pressing a kiss to his unmoving lips as he didn’t reciprocate her first move.
“But… I haven’t seen any of those things here, where do you have them, huh, Hwang Hyunjin? Since when did you get so good at hiding things?”
The irony of her sentence made him flinch, he was so surprised and scared that he couldn’t react to the fact that his wife was doing her best to touch and provoke him.
“When was the last time you fucked me? I need you, Hyunjin” she whispered seductively in his ear, her arms around his shoulders.
“Yoojin is sleeping” he replied quickly like a robot, almost automatically, motionless, surprised and without even the slightest reaction to his wife’s soft kisses on his neck.
Hyunjin stared at his son’s crib unfazed by Yeji’s attempt at sex.
“Then we’ll be very quiet…” she whispered, panting and excited.
He let himself be carried away, feeling absolutely nothing and thinking about you, thinking about how he had to be more careful… or whether stopping seeing you would be the best option, he thought about the love he had for Yeji, about every single detail that kept him in love for more than 10 years… but why suddenly he couldn’t get you out of his head. Hyunjin knew it, he was falling in love with the wrong person.
Hyunjin dropped his body on the bed, his head on the pillows as Yeji settled on his cock and moving on it. But Hyunjin was so lost, his mind was gone and for some reason he couldn’t get hard.
“I love how big you are” moaned his wife as she felt his soft cock rubbing against her pussy.
Hyunjin thought with a smile at how often you used to tell him that too and how it boosted his ego. He continued to kiss her, following everything almost on automatic without the slightest feeling and after a while of constant motions, a frustrated and aroused Yeji moaned:
“Mmm…. Hyunjin, baby… why aren’t you getting hard? Don’t you want to… do it?”
Her sentence made him see her eyes for the first time, she sounded so disappointed and her small face reflected concern.
“You must be tired, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you…” she said again, stopping moving.
She was about to take herself off, but Hyunjin quickly grabbed her hips.
“Yes, I must be tired, but let’s try, honey. I need you.”
He lied, nothing about her was getting him aroused. So he psyched himself up, thinking of everything in order to get hard and the image of your young body couldn’t miss in his mind. It worked like magic, he was so erect all of a sudden that his wife smiled in satisfaction. She acted fast, pulling down the soft fabric of his pajamas and pushed aside the thin fabric of her panties, lifting up her silk nightgown and letting herself fall on her husband’s cock. Hyunjin let out a stifled moan as he suddenly felt her insides around his hard cock. And with all the pain in the world, he took his wife’s body, enjoying her movements on him, but fantasizing that it was about you. That it was you, being able to fuck him at any time without restraint.
Hyunjin cum in her after Yeji rode him just the way he liked it, in the most perfect way since she knew so well how to take his cock, Hyunjin had missed that so much… but sadly he was already consumed by something else that he almost came to gaspingly babbling your name.
She smiled, happy, still with his limb in her and gently collapsed her body on Hyunjin’s chest, feeling his heaving chest. Hyunjin began to stroke her hair, thinking and thinking about how much he shouldn’t have to think about you, why you couldn’t leave his mind for even a second. He was being consumed, this time he couldn’t even feel guilty, he was ceasing to be human, he thought.
“I didn’t know whether to tell you since he’s your friend, but…” Yeji started to speak softly, catching Hyunjin’s attention who had his forearm behind his head to rest on it and was looking up at the ceiling, gone, sex with her had been so different from how he remembered it, “Have you talked to Kim Seungmin lately?”
“Seungmin? No. What’s wrong?”
“Well, I have, I had because I decided to switch classes, a 23 year old yoga instructor, she started at 22 and was reserved and quiet, she was a nice girl but, apparently Seungmin and her are now in a relationship, which is fucked up because his wife was in that class and he used to drive her and pick her up. The girls and I assumed that they must have known each other there”
Hyunjin opened his eyes in fright and could only say “Ah…”
Yeji felt her husband’s chest vibrate as he spoke and instead of controlling his heartbeat, it seemed to speed up.
“Isn’t it fucked up? That little bitch, homewrecker. Anyways, Hayoon is heartbroken… I can’t even imagine, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“About…?” questioned Hyunjin, almost breaking out in a cold sweat.
“Infidelities. It’s just that they looked so happy, we went to their wedding, remember? How come they decide to leave everything for someone younger? At least they didn’t have kids. Like Chan and Sana and that girl…”
“Chan was divorced when he met Missy” Hyunjin quickly replied, almost defending him.
Yeji looked up, settling her head to look directly at Hyunjin.
“Yeah but, she never wanted a divorce in the first place, who assures you that he didn’t meet her while he was married… that makes me so uneasy.”
Hyunjin looked into her eyes again. He knew exactly that it affected her and had to distract her to make her divert her thoughts and not have even the slightest suspicion that he was unfaithful because he was very clear that he wasn’t going to let you go.
⊹  ︶︶  ୨୧  ︶︶  ⊹
Minho’s problem was that he was too curious and in his craziest thoughts came the idea that filled him with rage, that you had someone else, that cheating and lying was something so natural for you because of the circumstances in which he knew you; so Minho had two options for you, you saw a guy your age, or you saw Chan. Crazy, but his brain worked fast at the idea that Chan was an older, attractive man just as he was, plus you were often involved with him…. Minho could not believe the cynicism in your body if the theory that you were sleeping with Chan was true because, if Minho’s wife was a complete stranger to you… but Chan, Minho was not mentally ready to face the truth if the truth was that you did not feel even the slightest regret for cheating on your own sister. You would lose the respect he had for you if he ever confirmed it.
Minho acted fast that Friday, two days after slightly suspecting it, as he overthought in his house with his foot twitching nervously.
“Suho, don’t you want to visit Chase?” suddenly blurted Minho to his son, who tenderly colored something.
His big brown eyes lit up at the sound of his little friend’s name.
“Really daddy? Yes!”
And in quick strides, carrying Suho in his arms, Minho was already with a racing heart ringing his friend’s doorbell. He put Suho down and waited for an answer.
If you weren’t lying, you would be at the house, since you had awkwardly told him the day before that you wouldn’t be doing anything and that you wanted to spend time with Missy. Besides it was 6pm and it was very common for Chan to already be at home at that time… although he didn’t see his car anywhere.
Minho was… extremely alert to every detail. With his eyes wide open so as not to miss anything. He was acting impulsively but something in his gut told him something was up.
Missy attended, giving him a warm smile at the sight of her husband’s friend and his young son.
“Oh, Minho, Suho, hi.”
“Hey, Missy. Suho wanted to see Chase and… I have to go out for a moment, do you mind if…”
“Daddy but you told me if I could…” spoke Suho innocently about to reveal his father.
“Is Chase here?” interrupted Minho suddenly, gently holding his son’s small shoulders.
Missy looked at them strangely, but smiled.
“Sure, he can stay. Suho come on in, Chase and I were just watching a movie.”
“Okay! Bye daddy!” exclaimed the happy little guy, giving a little bow before almost running inside to find his friend.
Missy sketched a smile at Minho once they were alone face to face, she reacted quickly and felt she was being rude so she was going to invite him in but Minho, with his big eyes full of feigned innocence stepped forward.
“Seriously I hope it’s no bother, I have to go out for a while and Suho couldn’t accompany me. Suji went to her mother’s house with Minji.”
“Oh no, not at all. They are very well behaved kids” she smiled.
Minho returned her an automatic smile, raising his high cheekbones, noticeable for miles that it was fake. To which Missy noticed how strange his behavior was, but Chan used to tell her that’s how Minho used to be.
“But it shouldn’t be tiresome, your sister is here, right?”
Minho asked carefully, ready to hear an answer.
“Y/n? Oh no, lately she’s going to college for some summer courses she took at the last minute.”
Minho’s blood almost rushed out of his body. The lie. It was the lie. The excuse you used to say when you were seeing him… why would you use it another day? What were you hiding? Minho clenched his fist, it was starting to bother him that you were acting behind his back and more so if it was about what he already suspected.
“Oh really…?” he tried to hide his anger, “And Chan is here?”
“No” she made pursed her lips, ”He’ll be late because he has something from work.”
Minho gave a half smile, raising his eyebrows, incredulous at how crazy it sounded, neither of them were home, god that could only mean one thing to him and suddenly his body burned with fury.
“Ahm, are you sure I can leave the boys here with you?”
She smiled softly, “Of course, Mr….. L… Minho. They’re good kids, Chan will be here in a few hours.”
“And Y/n?” blurted out Minho suddenly to which Missy raised an eyebrow.
“She’s sleeping over at the college dorm.”
Minho nodded, desperate to act, “Okay, thanks, I’ll be back in a few hours for Suho.”
And just as she closed the door on him and he walked out of the Bahng’s property to go to his own and quickly grab his car, in an impulsive act he dialed Chan.
Every second of waiting was torture for him, until he picked up.
“Hey, mat-”
“Where are you now?” interrupted Minho.
It took for Chan two seconds to process his friend’s tone.
“Almost across town, working on a case. Do you want to meet us…?”
“Where exactly?” he interrupted again.
Minho licked his lips impatiently, his brow furrowed and his breathing warm and heavy.
Chan gave him the address somewhat quizzically, “Why? Is something wrong?”
Minho ignored him and thought about how long he could make it from his house to where Chan was.
“I’ll go over there.”
And Minho hung up, starting the car furiously with his hands clenching the steering wheel. He wanted to confront his friend first if it was true, he knew him, he would know when he was lying.
And on the way, he called you. Who you were getting ready for your date with Hyunjin at his apartment. You were comfortably putting on your makeup when you read the name of the contact and your breath shortened. You decided to answer out of curiosity, since Minho wasn’t calling you regularly, plus Hyunjin was taking a shower to get ready as well.
“Yes?” you answered nervously and hesitantly.
“Where are you now?”
You noticed the beaten and annoyed tone in his voice, giving you chills.
“I’m with some friends” you lied naturally.
Minho let out an airy chuckle in disbelief and scoffing.
“When are you done being with them? Or where are you, I want to see you.”
His words were so cutting somehow.
“I can’t today… I’ll sleep over with them…”
“Then you prefer your cute sleepover? Let’s see each other or I’ll end this, I want you now. Not tomorrow. Now.”
You blinked in confusion, trying to process his insistence, you were about to respond, you really couldn’t. Hyunjin had been planning this outing with you for a while now and you didn’t want to disappoint him or lie to him too much. And suddenly you saw him enter the room with a towel around his waist and his hair slightly wet.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
And you hung up, ignoring him and smiling at Hyunjin. He looked so good, looking for his clothes half-naked with a white towel covering his penis, which part of his body was marked on the fabric. You could take him there right now, but you didn’t want to ruin your makeup and time was running out for both of you.
Yeji forgot everything as soon as he gave her the bag she wanted. That Friday Hyunjin had an art exhibition of some acquaintances, but at the same time it was his wife’s grandmother’s birthday, so like the tender woman she was, she told him he could attend the gallery and she would visit her family with the kids on the weekend. Hyunjin took the opportunity, inviting you, going incognito and under the facade of being a student working in his company that at the same time you were also persuading a position in art. So everything would be so secret, you couldn’t hold hands or kiss in public but one of the things that turned you on so much was doing it hidden from everyone.
Minho on the other hand cursed, feeling useless not being able to do anything more to see you. He kept calling you, but you kept ignoring him again, he wanted to teach you a very good lesson but in the meantime, he arrived at the place where Chan was. And there was no trace of you. Minho questioned him, gently implying that you were a very attractive young woman, but Chan was modest and respectful about it. Minho inspected every part of the place, without giving Chan a single explanation, and as the necessary time passed, he immediately left looking for you in the hotels near the area. But nothing. His frustration grew… he thought for a second that maybe you were telling the truth… but it was hard to believe and even more so with the concept he had of you. Minho knew something was going on. If not Chan, then who? He was going crazy, about to cry with frustration and hatred, he had never felt like this in his life, he felt pathetic, looking for you everywhere, asking for a young, pretty girl with your characteristics, like a complete desperate madman.
And in the torment of his thoughts, Minho stopped his car and pulled over. He had nowhere to go. He didn’t have the slightest idea where you could be and you kept ignoring him. He was so upset and frustrated that, he did what he never thought he would do, tears began to fall from his face as the broad raindrops hit his car hard. Minho sobbed, despising every inch of himself, guilty. Thinking of Suji’s bright smile and the life he had built with her. Of all the times he would get jealous when she had to act in a romantic role and she would in the most genuine, sweetest way tell him it was just work and he was the true love of her life. Why would he do that to her? Just for a little sex? He didn’t hate you this time. He released his frustration by crying, his sobs getting lost in the sound of the falling rain.
He felt stranded. Wondering what the fuck was he doing? What would having you lead him to? That this was all his fault, that you were a promiscuous young woman in search of pleasure, that soon you would get bored of him and leave him, making him cry more, because, deep down he didn’t want that to happen. He loved Suji with all his being… but the feeling was now strange and foggy and no matter how much he thought about it… he wasn’t willing to leave you. He loved you too. He felt cheated and betrayed, it was driving him mad that there could be someone else in your life, making him feel like a damn narcissist and sociopath. Him being able to live the double life, but not letting you do it.
And he cried again, tears wetting his manly face as the rain left certain revelations in its wake… like the fact that he always cared about you but repressed absolutely everything, played hard to stop facing reality and not feel like an animal, a real discord, but he liked you, loved you, your presence was so sweet and innocent, like fresh air after an exhausting day living the adult life. He knew that his heinous acts had no excuse and no forgiveness… but then… what was there supposed to be? He didn’t want to lose you. He didn’t want you to have someone else. He just wanted to know the truth.
You on the other hand had a nice night, by Hyunjin’s side, but distant. There were times when you were happy… and times when you felt like the other woman, like when they happily asked about his wife and kids and you were… literally nobody to them.
On the road you were somewhat pensive, fantasizing the perfect life next to Hyunjin, but it made you extremely sad that his life was already made. He had already built it, a house, his children, a steady job and you… you were nothing to him but a toy which he liked to show off discreetly since… you were nothing to him in the public eye, a toy which he used for his pleasure. That hurt you quite a bit coming from Hyunjin, because there was something about him so sweet that you loved, but you thought that after all… he wasn’t as sweet as you thought and you were just being brainwashed.
In your madness… you asked him about his children, if they were cute and sociable kids… Making Hyunjin’s heart almost burst out of his chest, implying that you were willing to know more about his life. Hyunjin unlike Minho, he considered himself absolutely lost in you and admitted it. He liked you so purely, he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted the perfect life with you.
And he convinced himself in his sick brain that… it was just the hard time when you met, but you were destined. You instantly retracted, thinking that you must also think it was just for pleasure.
But you couldn’t help but not get attached to the men who had you often and pretended to love you and take care of your body.
⊹ ︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶ ⊹
The next day, it was Minho himself who cancelled you seeing each other; upsetting you a bit because you remembered a little about his annoying comment in that it would be the last time you would see each other.
Minho didn’t accept his feelings. And he felt completely pathetic for crying, especially crying for you, so he decided to… walk away.
So, he wanted to relax a bit, asking to see his friends, which he did. Having a few cold beers while they talked, but as much as he wanted to hide it, the great feeling of anguish in him had a name and it was yours. He just couldn’t get the fact that you had someone out of his head and already drunk, he started saying nonsensical things.
“Hey, Chan, are you sure Y/n doesn’t have a boyfriend? That girl…”
“What about Y/n?” blurted out Hyunjin, earning the stares of the other men and Minho looking at him with narrowed eyes, “She’s a nice girl” excused Hyunjin as he felt everyone’s stares.
“Well, you never know man, she’s a young woman” Chan replied interrupting, “Why the curiosity?”
Minho didn’t react and didn’t know what to say. But Hyunjin interjected them.
“Guys, I really have to go. It’s Saturday, I should be with Yeji.”
His friends thought him cute for his comment since Hyunjin had confessed to have some issues with his wife and his friends encouraged him to fight for his marriage, them not knowing that the background of the comment was so she wouldn’t suspect that he had another woman, so he spent the days he didn’t see you with her.
“Can you drive?” asked Chan worriedly.
“Yes, I’m fine” he replied more relaxed.
The party was over once Hyunjin left. He returned home, still slightly dizzy but once he took a cold shower, the drunkenness left his adult body and he couldn’t help but think of the most delicious shower sex he could have ever had, which he had with you yesterday. He needed you. Now. And not just sexually, he wanted to hold you until you fell asleep on his chest like he loved, he wanted to see you when you woke up, when you slept, he wanted to support you in everything, to be with you while you did something from college, to learn to cook together… why couldn’t he have that life with you.
Hyunjin walked with slow steps out of the bathroom, already wearing his pajamas and saw Yeji’s silhouette on the bed. He couldn’t keep doing that to her. He was already in love with someone else and he couldn’t pretend anymore, he sighed, nervously, thinking that if she was asleep… he would tell her tomorrow, but to his surprise, she was awake.
Yeji leaned back against the backrest and gave him a smile.
“Mmm, you’re a little early this time, it’s barely midnight. Come to bed.”
She had barely arrived from her grandmother’s house in the afternoon and barely saw her husband, so she wanted to be in his arms. But Hyunjin didn’t want that anymore.
Hyunjin approached the bed, with no expression on his face, almost confusing Yeji.
He sat on the edge of the bed, looking into her eyes.
“Hyun…”
“Yeji. We should get a divorce.”
Hyunjin plucked up the courage to tell her, he couldn’t stand the fact that you felt sad that you had to hide from everyone and just be a mistress.
She looked at him gently confused and then terrified, her world suddenly came crashing down.
Hyunjin was ready to share his life with you because being with him implied so many things, he was ready to tell you that he loves you.
⊹ ︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶ ⊹
For Minho, the sedative effect of the alcohol didn’t last long either, he was anxious again, insecurities and urges attacked him again. At least he wanted to know the truth. He wanted to know who was occupying a place in your heart or in your body, he needed it to know, he was desperate.
So, he didn’t enter his home, he stayed in front of Chan’s house, not caring that he also just arrived. Minho called you.
You were enjoying your Saturday, with the bedroom curtain open and watching movies on your laptop that you had forgotten it was getting late. It was already Sunday.
You were ready for bed, you had made yourself comfortable and decided to relax a bit, because if you didn’t stay distracted your mind was bouncing like a ping pong head from one man to another… and almost as if you manifested it, Lee Minho appeared as a call on your phone.
You blinked in confusion, as he sounded serious about telling you that he didn’t want to see you the last time he called you….
“Hello…?” you replied.
“Come out, now. I’m outside your house. I need to see you.”
Your skin bristled, he sounded so serious, sad and genuine. He had never used the word need. You looked towards the window, it was starting to rain heavily. Minho’s patience ran out.
“Get out. Now.”
“But it’s raining…”
“So? You won’t walk far, I’m waiting for you in my car.”
“It’s late…”
“Why do you keep bringing up excuses not to see me?” he blurted out annoyed, then sighed, as he noticed how insistent he was being, “Just come out, I need to see you. Missy will understand you ran away to see some douchebag your age, you’re young, for god’s sake. I’ll wait for you.”
Minho hung up, leaving you confused. You bit your lip nervously and grabbed the first oversized hoodie you could find, the umbrellas were at the entrance and you would exit out the back. So you slipped on some sneakers and covered yourself with the hoodie from the rain, sneaking out and creeping out the back, until you rounded the house and almost running in the dark, you spotted through the rain Minho’s truck, climbing in quickly, soaking wet.
Minho almost smiled at the sight of you… but remembered, he was there to confront you. And he wouldn’t be gentle with you about it, he never was.
“Sorry, I’m wet” you said, taking off your hood and looking at him.
Minho looked handsome as always, but he looked like he had been out somewhere, dressing up and smelling nicely. And there you were, almost at 1 a.m. riding in Minho’s car, without even thinking about it, because you recognized that…. Minho could do a lot of things against you. Because you liked him too much, maybe a little more than Hyunjin, because there was something about him that attracted you to him fatally. But he didn’t seem to care about you at all, hurting deep inside you. Oh, but you had no idea how unhinged Lee Minho was becoming.
Minho had his hands on the steering wheel, looked straight ahead and then slowly looked at you, at first all normal except for his discomfort… but something about the hoodie you were wearing seemed so familiar. His mind instantly visualized Hyunjin seeing that black hoodie; Minho frowned, finding it ridiculous that it looked exactly like a hoodie his friend had that he remembered perfectly because he had borrowed it from him once a few months ago, but Minho had washed it and returned it to him, only Hyunjin’s had his initials embroidered on the left sleeve, H. H. in white because Hyunjin explained to him that Yeji had some of her children’s clothes embroidered and the hoodie got lost there, so she asked them to put H.H. on it as a cute little joke.
Minho examined you incredulously, his heart beginning to race… wondering if by any chance… Hyunjin and you…
He couldn’t believe it, he almost laughed at the insanity of his thought, that it was a stupid black hoodie, still, almost panicking, he looked down just to check and there was the answer to all his questions, the two damn letters of his best friend embroidered on the left sleeve.
Minho raised his gaze quickly, catching your eyes, his big eyes almost trembling in stress and suddenly became bright, almost on the verge of tears. Minho averted his gaze quickly, so obvious that something suddenly happened, worrying you and leaving you confused.
He felt so betrayed, it was his karma; his breathing shortened and his sight didn’t linger on anything specific as he was busy connecting the confusing dots that could indicate that all this time you were Hyunjin’s lover too. Minho thought, destroyed, about Hyunjin confessing to be having problems with Yeji, you wearing his hoodie, Hyunjin being unavailable on certain days…. Minho could hardly believe it. You were the little home wrecker who interfered between Hyunjin and Yeji. He never saw it coming from Hyunjin.
“Is something wrong…?” you whispered softly since you noticed Minho completely gone.
He softly denied, “No” he stammered.
His mind kept thinking that it was one of his best friends who tested you every day so well, that you played so well with him as much as you liked to play with him. You couldn’t find the right words to say as it was quite obvious that it looked as if something was going on and you started to be concerned.
“Minho…”
Minho ignored you completely and started the car, not knowing exactly what he was doing.
“You had something to tell me…? Are we going somewhere?”
He ignored you again and drove on in the heavy rain, you were starting to get a little upset.
Minho didn’t know what to do or why he was even driving… what was he supposed to tell you now that he could face you and knew the whole truth.
“I think it’s raining a lot, we can stay here for a while…”
Minho stopped short, startling you and causing your body to go forward from the sudden movement. He turned to look at you and a wave of sadness and anger washed over him.
“Hyunjin? Really?” he mumbled in annoyance, piercing you with his gaze.
You almost sighed in astonishment, wondering if you had heard correctly.
“It wasn’t enough for you to fuck up my life now you went and fucked up Hyunjin’s too!” he shouted, his voice rising higher and higher, “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Hyunjin knows that you fuck me too? You thought you could live in your fantasy by fucking two men, what were you thinking, stupid kid?!”
Minho yelled at you, annoyed, claiming thing after thing you were trying to process. Your heart pounded and you felt so intimidated by his eyes getting bigger and the vein in his neck standing out as he yelled at you.
So he knew… how? you thought. Your breath hitched and you felt the sudden pallor of your body. Your voice cracked instantly, if you spoke you were going to stutter, you were a mess all of a sudden, thinking why was it making him so angry anyway?
“You’re not going to say anything?!” he shouted again, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, “How can you look me in the eyes after what you’ve done? Or do you even feel anything at all?”
It was funny… that the coldest person would suddenly talk about emotions.
“Minho…” you tried to say, you were scared but a part of you felt like you didn’t owe him any explanation.
He sighed, frustrated running his hand over his face.
“You really were a fucking whore, shit, all this time I was telling you as a joke, but… two men at once?” he laughed mockingly, “You didn’t answer my question. Hyunjin knows you’re fucking me too?”
He railed with hatred his every word and turned to look at you in a way he had never done before, you felt judged and dirty, that your eyes were starting to water.
“No…” you replied with your voice breaking on the verge of tears.
Why it was so difficult for you. As much as you denied it and lived in your illusion trying to convince yourself that you only used them for sex, you were a naive young girl, that with time and the fact of seeing them often, sharing small moments together, you came to involve feelings, you came to love them passionately, you got to arrive at your sister’s house with a knot in your throat every time one of them left you blocks behind the house so they wouldn’t see them, you got to feel pathetic while crying because of the confusion and addiction of wanting to keep seeing them, even when the only way to do it was to get sexually involved with you, because you wanted the warmth of their bodies close to you. But none of them were yours.
Minho watched as you began to cry and something bigger to him came over him, it was anger, sadness and pity, you had him all messed up.
“Don’t cry” he said coldly.
His cold tone detonated your crying more. You had it all with Hyunjin, you didn’t understand why you punished yourself so much by loving Minho and his cold personality… but you felt so stupid to think you had it all, you had nothing, they were men with their lives made, you were nothing but a brat attending college, you had nothing but hours of them where they used you for sex, you had nothing but a passionate fake love because you weren’t sure what or how they were feeling. And that was exactly what you didn’t want to involve, feelings, you didn’t want to think about them, you didn’t want them inside you, you wanted a good time with them. Sometimes you wished you were a machine with no feelings, that it was exactly what you thought you were for them, but every time you felt like that was what you were for them, your world became miserable. You didn’t know what to think of all the sweet moments and details of Hyunjin and your unexpected closeness and trust with Minho that was just now breaking down.
The cruel reality of many things you were avoiding was hitting you hard just now.
“Fuck, don’t cry, don’t play the victim… everyone here is guilty” Minho mumbled again as you stopped seeing him clearly because tears were filling your eyes, “I guess you’re happy with whatever you wanted to achieve, you know Hyunjin is getting divorced? That’s what you wanted? You fucking homewrecker!”
“What?” you sobbed in confusion, the ending echoed in every part of you and you were shocked at his comment as you wiped your tears in vain because they wouldn’t stop coming out.
You were shocked wondering if Hyunjin was about to give up everything to be with you and the thought terrified you. Missy would hate you, Chan would hate you, Minho would hate you, you would have no one but Hyunjin, you loved him, but you hadn’t wanted to face that reality. You thought about him and if the sudden news that you were also sleeping with Minho would affect him just as intensely, and and the top of all, you felt so lonely and cold, crying in front of the man you loved without him having even the slightest reaction to you… you understood it all, Minho never really cared about you, you thought; so why was he complaining about you… had it hurt his ego?
Minho lied, exaggerating his comment just to make you feel worse because he was still a bit bitter, he didn’t have the slightest idea if Hyunjin was getting divorced… and if he was about to do it in order to be with you it was a trigger to cut friendship, he would never forgive either of you if you ended up together. The advantage was… Hyunjin didn’t know that you were with Minho, or at least Minho thought so as an advantage, but Minho’s big problem was that he loved you, but he wasn’t willing to leave Suji or his life with his children for you… he still didn’t assimilate that truth. He didn’t want his children to be separated from their mother -or father, as he was the one guilty-, he didn’t want to create a drama among all his circle of acquaintances… but… if you confessed to him right there and then, that he was the one you chose, you would touch his deepest point and he would leave everything just to be with you, Minho knew he would do it no matter how tough a man he acted.
You didn’t want to hurt anyone and you were slowly destroying everything in your path.
Minho was still upset and as much as it hurt him to see you cry, he wanted to release all his anger.
“Ah, Y/N, what were you thinking, huh? How did you think this was all going to end? Did you think we were going to be happy and have a fucking threesome? Get out of your fucking bubble, say something, now. You’re nothing but a mistake I wish I’d never made. The worst part is, I was stupid enough to think you cared” he blurted out, not measuring how very hurtful it might have sounded to you.
“I have nothing to apologize for all… this… this… wasn’t just my fault.”
“No shit. It was ours for falling for someone like you.”
This time you looked away from Minho, unable to believe that you still loved him and all you wanted was a hug from him, or how you held on to the hoodie, feeling Hyunjin’s scent and missing him like never before because you knew he would say the sweetest things.
“Besides I don’t understand why you’re so upset? If it was always just about the sex, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t react happily to the possibility of more sex and a fucking threesome, isn’t that all I’m here for?” you defended yourself, with your voice shaking.
The tension was felt in Minho’s rain-confined car. He was so upset… but not upset enough to ask you to leave and not to see you, he still wanted to see your eyes glistening with tears and your fragile body sobbing and begging to be touched, purely… but something in him stopped him, he couldn’t admit, how much he loved you and that he just wanted you to stay away from Hyunjin, or any other man.
“It’s not just sex…” he whispered, drawing the attention of your sobbing body, “At least not for me and I don’t think so of Hyunjin either… if he ever finds out, you’re going to break his heart.”
You wiped away your tears which were slowly ceasing and looked at him in confusion because he suddenly looked relaxed and his gaze softened on you. You understood Minho less and less.
“Just… you have to leave Hyunjin” he said more seriously.
You nodded, not because you listened to him, but because leaving them both would be the best option. You had no future with either of them no matter how much you loved them, they would all end up hating you. Tomorrow you would find a way to look for Hyunjin, to end your little game that was going to extremes.
“And I have to leave you too” you whispered.
Minho closed his eyes deeply and pressed his lips together, as it was something he didn’t want to hear. He sighed, looking out towards the rain falling on his window. He muttered, almost to himself
“I trusted you. Hell, I loved you. But all along, you were sleeping with my best friend. I didn’t lose you-I lost everything.”
Your eyes traveled quickly all over his silhouette, on his perfect sculpted profile, his long eyelashes and jet-black hair slightly illuminated by a single lamppost from outside. Your heart pounded again, not sure if you heard right… but there was no sound, other than of the drops hitting his car.
“What…?” you whispered, feeling your world spinning, you didn’t want him to say it, you’d hate him if he did… that after all he did.
“I love you. What are we going to do?”
Minho turned to look at you, again his piercing gaze searching your eyes, but something about him looked so soft. You hated him. You thought he was manipulating you, that he didn’t know what he was saying… that you loved him too.
But the softness of Hyunjin’s hoodie reached your bristling skin. You froze and decided not to give him satidifaction for the first time since you met him, you wouldn’t let him know that you loved him too, because you loved Hyunjin too, and you couldn’t keep either of them.
You recognized that the great damage was already done and all thanks to you and for being, as he had said before, a homewrecker.
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urdreamydoodles · 2 days
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Hello!!! I just found your page and yes I already I love your work!!
If it’s no trouble, may I ask for X-men characters with a Pregnant s/o headcanons? Like how they would be when you tell them you’re pregnant, how they are when you’re pregnant, and how they’d be during labor! 😵‍💫😵‍💫
Could I also ask it be with: Logan, Scott, Gambit, Ororo, Colossus, and Kurt??
If not it’s totally okay! Have a great rest of your day 💖💖
X-Men x Pregnant!Reader
How they handle your pregnancy
Each X-Man reacts differently to your pregnancy, from initial surprise and joy to unwavering support during labor, reflecting their unique personalities and love for you.
Characters: Logan Howlett, Remy LeBeau, Scott Summers, Ororo Munroe, Kurt Wagner, Colossus (+ my personal addition : Erik Lehnsherr, Wade Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Pietro Maximoff)
Thank you for saying that, hearing that my work is liked makes me really happy, thank you ♡ And it's not a trouble at all — love the prompt! — Love, Marie, your friendly marvel fangirl
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Logan Howlett (Wolverine)
When you tell Logan you’re pregnant, his initial reaction is a mix of shock and silence. For a moment, he’s frozen in place, his gruff exterior cracking just enough to reveal how truly taken aback he is by the news. He’s been through so much, lost so many people, and had so many regrets in his life that the thought of bringing a child into this world overwhelms him. But after a long, quiet moment, his eyes soften, and he gently places a hand on your stomach, the roughness of his calloused palm contrasting with the tenderness in his gesture. His voice, usually gruff and low, is quiet when he says, "I’ll protect both of ya… no matter what."
During your pregnancy, Logan becomes fiercely protective. He’s always been the protective type, but now it’s ramped up to an entirely different level. He doesn’t let you do anything that might risk your health or the baby’s, even if it’s something small like lifting a grocery bag. He makes sure you’re comfortable, constantly checking in with you—though he tries to act like he’s not worried. You often catch him watching you, eyes filled with a mix of awe and uncertainty. He tries not to hover, but you can see how much he cares. The moment you’re uncomfortable, he’s there, ready to do anything to help. His biggest fear, though he never outright says it, is that something will happen to you or the baby, so he keeps an almost obsessive eye on both of your well-being.
When labor begins, Logan is a mess of emotions. He’s usually the calm in any storm, but seeing you in pain makes him feel helpless in a way he’s not used to. He holds your hand, trying to keep you calm, though his own heart races. "I’m here, darlin’. You’re strong. You got this," he murmurs, pressing kisses to your forehead, staying close, trying to mask his own panic. When the baby finally comes, and he hears that first cry, tears fill his eyes. He never thought he could experience something so beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Logan would quietly hold the baby, marveling at the tiny life you both created, knowing he’s going to protect this child with everything he has.
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Remy LeBeau (Gambit)
Telling Remy you’re pregnant is like lighting a firework. He’s always been a charmer, quick with a grin and a flirtatious quip, but when the news sinks in, his eyes light up with uncontainable excitement. "Mon dieu… I gon’ be a papa?" he says in disbelief, his signature grin widening as he pulls you into his arms. His hands immediately find your stomach, even if there’s no sign of the baby yet, and he plants a loving kiss on your lips. Remy is the kind of man who loves with his whole heart, and now, the idea of a family with you makes him feel like the luckiest man alive.
Throughout the pregnancy, Remy is absolutely doting. He spoils you beyond belief, making sure you have everything you need. He constantly brings you little gifts—flowers, chocolates, or even things for the baby—and he can’t help but talk to your belly every chance he gets, whispering sweet nothings in French. "Cher bébé, you gon’ have de best life wit’ us," he coos. He’s also incredibly playful, making jokes to keep your spirits high during the more uncomfortable parts of the pregnancy. If you’re feeling tired or sick, he’s quick to comfort you, but he does it with his usual playful charm. "You look beautiful, ma chérie, even wit’ a lil’ bump," he teases, kissing your cheek. Remy’s energy makes the whole experience feel lighter, more fun, and less daunting.
During labor, Remy’s usual calm and collected demeanor falters. He’s still his charming self, but there’s a frantic edge to his words as he holds your hand. "You okay, chérie? I’m right here wit’ you," he reassures, though you can see the worry in his eyes. He’s not used to seeing you in pain, and it shakes him more than he thought it would. As the labor progresses, he stays by your side, whispering sweet encouragements in French and English, never letting go of your hand. When the baby finally arrives, he’s completely overwhelmed, tears of joy running down his face as he holds your child for the first time. "Our lil’ miracle," he says softly, his heart full to bursting with love for both you and the baby.
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Scott Summers (Cyclops)
When you tell Scott you’re pregnant, he’s stunned, standing still for a long moment as he processes the news. Scott, being the logical and responsible leader he is, has always thought about the future and the possibility of a family, but hearing it from you makes it real in a way that both excites and terrifies him. "We’re… we’re going to be parents?" he asks, his voice soft with disbelief before his arms wrap around you tightly. You can see the joy in his face, mixed with the weight of responsibility that’s already setting in. He’s already planning everything in his mind—how he’ll protect you, the future he’ll build for the three of you, ensuring that you and the baby are always safe.
Throughout your pregnancy, Scott is incredibly attentive and thoughtful. He’s the type to read all the parenting books, meticulously prepare for every scenario, and ensure that you’re comfortable and healthy at all times. He schedules every doctor’s appointment, makes sure you’re eating well, and insists that you take things easy. He’s also incredibly emotional during this time, though he tries to hide it. You often catch him looking at you with a softness in his eyes, one hand resting protectively on your stomach. "I love you so much," he says out of the blue one night, his voice filled with quiet awe. Scott takes everything seriously, and your pregnancy is no exception—he’s already planning how to be the best father he can be.
When the day of labor arrives, Scott is calm and composed, but you can feel the tension rolling off him in waves. He’s a natural leader, but this is out of his control, and it scares him more than he’ll admit. He holds your hand the entire time, murmuring words of encouragement, but there’s a tightness in his voice that betrays his worry. "You’re doing great, we’re almost there," he says, though you can tell he’s just as nervous as you are. When the baby is born, Scott is overcome with emotion. He’s usually so controlled, but in this moment, tears stream down his face as he holds your newborn in his arms. "We did it," he whispers, looking between you and the baby with a sense of awe and love so profound it leaves him speechless.
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Ororo Munroe (Storm)
When you tell Ororo you’re pregnant, her reaction is calm yet filled with quiet joy. She has always been a steady presence, and that doesn’t change even in a moment as life-altering as this. You watch as her eyes widen slightly, and she takes a deep breath, letting it out with a smile that’s filled with nothing but love. "A child," she says softly, as if testing the words out on her lips before she steps closer, pulling you into a tender embrace. She kisses your forehead, her fingers gently brushing your stomach. "We will raise them together with the strength of the earth, the wind, and the skies," she whispers, her voice filled with a quiet reverence for this new journey you’re about to embark on together.
During the pregnancy, Ororo is a pillar of strength and grace. She watches over you with care, making sure you feel supported and at peace throughout. Her connection to nature allows her to sense even the smallest changes in your well-being, and she’s quick to help ease any discomfort you feel. She spends hours talking to your growing belly, whispering stories of the world, of the sky, and the beauty of the elements. Her presence is soothing, and she brings you peace in moments where the discomforts of pregnancy are hardest to bear. At night, she holds you close, her hands resting protectively on your stomach, often saying a quiet prayer to the earth for your safety. "You and our child are my heart," she says softly one evening as you drift off to sleep, her love for you as powerful as the storms she commands.
When the time comes for labor, Ororo is a calming force by your side. Even as the pain begins, she stays with you, her hand in yours, reminding you to breathe, to focus on the world around you. "Feel the wind, my love, let it guide you," she murmurs, her voice steady as she helps you through each contraction. You find yourself drawing strength from her presence, her deep connection to the elements grounding you. When the baby finally arrives, she cradles the tiny life in her arms with such tenderness that it brings tears to your eyes. "Welcome to the world, little one," she whispers, her eyes filled with awe and love. Ororo knows this is a moment of great power, not just in the birth of your child, but in the creation of a family bound by love and strength.
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Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)
When you tell Kurt you’re pregnant, his first reaction is pure, unfiltered joy. His golden eyes light up, and in an instant, he’s pulling you into a tight embrace, his tail curling around you protectively. "Mein Gott! You are serious, ja?" he asks, his excitement palpable. When you nod, he lets out a delighted laugh, teleporting you both into the air for a brief moment in his excitement before bringing you back down gently. He cups your face in his hands, pressing kisses all over your cheeks and lips, his happiness absolutely infectious. "I am going to be a papa?!" he repeats, as if he can’t quite believe it, but the pure joy on his face shows that he couldn’t be happier. He immediately begins to talk about your future together, about how he’ll be the best father, about how lucky the child will be to have you as their mother.
Throughout your pregnancy, Kurt is an absolute ball of energy and love. He’s always fussing over you, making sure you’re comfortable, making sure you’re happy, and doing everything he can to make you smile. He talks to your belly constantly, telling your baby stories of his own childhood, sharing his love for adventure and his deep faith. "You will be loved, little one. So very loved," he whispers often, his tail lightly wrapping around you as he presses his head to your stomach. Despite his own rough upbringing, Kurt is determined to make sure your child is raised with nothing but love and joy. He’s so excited for every little milestone, constantly asking how you’re feeling, and making sure that you never feel alone or overwhelmed. He even starts knitting baby clothes in his spare time, determined to create something personal for your child.
When labor begins, Kurt is nervous but tries his best to stay calm for your sake. He teleports in and out of the room, fetching things, bringing you water, doing anything he can to help. "You are so strong, meine liebe, you’ve got this," he says, though you can see the nervous energy in him as he paces slightly. When things get intense, he stays by your side, holding your hand tightly, his usual calm demeanor replaced with pure awe at what’s happening. The moment the baby is born, Kurt is overwhelmed with emotion. Tears fill his golden eyes as he looks at the tiny life you’ve created together. "Our little miracle," he whispers in awe, his tail brushing gently against the baby’s tiny hand as he cradles them carefully. His heart is full, knowing that this is the start of a new, beautiful chapter for your family.
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Piotr Rasputin (Colossus)
When you tell Piotr you’re pregnant, his first reaction is one of quiet shock. His gentle nature has always been a core part of who he is, but the idea of becoming a father leaves him momentarily speechless. He stares at you for a moment, as if processing the magnitude of what you just said. Then, slowly, a smile breaks across his face, and his massive arms gently pull you into a warm, protective embrace. "We are going to have a child?" he asks, his voice soft and filled with wonder. His metal form, cold to the touch, somehow feels comforting as he holds you close, his hands resting gently on your stomach. "I… I will do everything to protect you and our child," he promises, his deep voice filled with determination and love.
Throughout your pregnancy, Piotr becomes an even more protective and attentive partner. He’s already used to being careful with his strength around you, but now he’s even more cautious, always making sure you’re comfortable and safe. He spends hours drawing and painting, creating art that reflects the love and joy he feels for you and the baby. His gentle nature shines through as he constantly checks in with you, making sure you’re well-rested, eating enough, and not doing anything that could put strain on you or the baby. "You should rest, moya lyubov’," he says softly, offering you a cup of tea or a warm blanket whenever you look the least bit uncomfortable. He talks about the future often, about how he wants to raise the child with the same love and care his family gave him, how he wants to teach them to be strong but gentle, like him.
When labor begins, Piotr is a bundle of nerves beneath his calm exterior. His metal form shifts, and you can see the tension in his usually composed demeanor. He stays by your side, holding your hand gently, though you can tell he’s trying not to show just how worried he is. "I am here, love, you are so strong," he says softly, his voice a low rumble as he reassures you throughout the process. As the labor progresses, he’s there every step of the way, doing whatever he can to help. When the baby is finally born, Piotr is overwhelmed with emotion. He carefully cradles the tiny life in his large, metal arms, his eyes shining with tears as he looks at you with pure love. "Our family," he whispers, his deep voice filled with awe and devotion. "You have given me everything."
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Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto)
When you tell Erik you’re pregnant, his initial reaction is one of deep, contemplative silence. You watch as the weight of the news settles over him like a heavy cloak, and for a brief moment, there’s an unreadable look in his sharp eyes. He’s always been a man burdened by the past, his life filled with loss and pain. But then, his expression softens, and he reaches out to touch your face, his fingers trembling ever so slightly. "A child," he murmurs, almost as if he’s afraid to believe it. Slowly, a smile tugs at the corners of his lips, and he pulls you into a tight embrace, burying his face in your hair. "We will give them the world," he promises, his voice low and filled with the intensity that only Erik can bring. Though you can tell the news has stirred up memories of his past, the joy he feels for this future with you is undeniable.
During the pregnancy, Erik becomes fiercely protective, bordering on overbearing at times. He’s always been a man who values control, and now that you’re carrying his child, that instinct is heightened tenfold. He monitors everything, making sure you’re safe, making sure you’re comfortable, and making sure nothing threatens you or the baby. His magnetic abilities become almost a subconscious part of how he protects you, moving objects out of your way before you even realize they’re there, adjusting the temperature of the room without a second thought. Despite his intensity, there’s a tenderness in the way he speaks to your belly, as though he’s already trying to form a connection with your unborn child. "You will be strong," he says one evening, his hand resting on your stomach. "I will make sure of it."
When labor begins, Erik is calm but incredibly focused. He’s been through many battles in his life, but this is something different—a battle of a more personal kind. He stays by your side, his hand gripping yours tightly, though you can see the tension in his jaw as he tries to remain composed. "You can do this, my love," he says, his voice steady despite the worry in his eyes. As the contractions grow stronger, he channels his abilities to make the environment as soothing as possible, dimming the lights, adjusting the metal fixtures in the room to make everything feel more comfortable for you. When the baby is finally born, Erik is silent for a long moment, staring at the tiny life you’ve both created. Then, without a word, he takes the child in his arms, his eyes filled with a rare vulnerability as he gazes down at them. "I never thought I would have this again," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "Thank you."
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Wade Wilson (Deadpool)
When you tell Wade you’re pregnant, his reaction is, unsurprisingly, over the top. He stares at you with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open comically for a moment before he suddenly breaks into a huge grin. "Are you serious?!" he shouts, throwing his arms in the air and spinning around in excitement. He grabs you and starts bouncing you up and down, all the while chattering on about how you’re going to have the coolest kid in the world. "Oh man, this is going to be awesome! Our little baby Wadelette, or Wadelino!" His excitement is infectious, and though his humor never stops, you can tell there’s genuine love and excitement behind his wild antics. He talks about everything from baby names to what kind of mini-costume the kid will wear, all while being completely and utterly himself.
During the pregnancy, Wade is a chaotic but devoted partner. He’s constantly hovering, making ridiculous jokes to keep your spirits up, and finding the weirdest ways to pamper you. "You’re eating for two now! Gotta keep that belly happy!" he’d say, handing you a tray of the strangest food combinations you’ve ever seen. Wade has a way of making even the most uncomfortable moments of pregnancy into something funny, but when the serious moments hit, he’s surprisingly thoughtful. He talks to your belly in exaggerated voices, telling the baby stories of his adventures and promising to be the best (and weirdest) dad ever. Though he can’t quite stop being himself, you know that beneath all the humor, Wade is completely committed to you and the baby.
When labor hits, Wade is... well, Wade. He’s running around like a madman, alternately panicking and cracking jokes to try and keep things light. "Okay, okay, I’ve got this! I’ve fought ninjas, I’ve blown up buildings, how hard can this be?!" he says, though the genuine concern in his eyes gives him away. As things progress, he becomes a little more serious, holding your hand and whispering words of encouragement between his nervous ramblings. When the baby is finally born, Wade is struck speechless for once in his life. He stares down at the tiny bundle in awe, his usual mask of humor slipping as he gently takes the baby in his arms. "Holy crap," he whispers, his voice barely above a breath. "We made a tiny person." He looks at you with wide eyes, his usual bravado replaced with pure, unfiltered love.
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Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch)
When you tell Wanda you’re pregnant, her initial reaction is one of quiet, overwhelmed emotion. You watch as her eyes fill with tears, her hands trembling as she reaches out to touch your face. "A baby?" she whispers, her voice filled with disbelief. For Wanda, this news is a dream she never thought possible, a hope she had long since buried beneath the weight of her complicated life. She pulls you into a gentle embrace, holding you close as she tries to process the enormity of what this means for the both of you. Her powers flicker around her, responding to her heightened emotions, but she calms herself quickly, pressing her forehead to yours. "I never thought I would have this chance," she says softly. "But now… now we can have a family."
Throughout the pregnancy, Wanda is a bundle of emotions—both excitement and worry. She’s incredibly protective, her powers always at the ready to keep you and the baby safe, but there’s an underlying fear that something could go wrong. Despite her concerns, she embraces the experience fully, surrounding you with warmth and love. She spends hours researching everything about pregnancy, reading books, and using her magic to ensure you and the baby are healthy. She talks to your belly every night, using her magic to create little illusions of what she imagines your child might look like. "You will be so loved," she whispers to your stomach, her hands gently resting over the growing life inside you. Despite the fears that linger in the back of her mind, Wanda finds joy in the journey, grateful for the chance to experience this with you.
When labor begins, Wanda is nervous but focused. She holds your hand, her magic swirling around the room in gentle pulses, trying to ease your pain and keep you calm. "You’re so strong," she says, her voice soft but full of conviction. "I’m here with you." As the contractions intensify, Wanda uses her powers to help as much as she can without interfering too much, guiding you through the pain with a steady hand and reassuring words. When the baby is finally born, Wanda is overwhelmed with emotion. She cradles the newborn in her arms, tears streaming down her face as she gazes at the life you’ve created together. "Our child," she whispers, her voice filled with awe. "I can’t believe it… they’re perfect."
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Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver)
When you tell Pietro you’re pregnant, his reaction is fast—literally. He zooms around the room at breakneck speed, his excitement palpable as he tries to process the news. "Wait, wait, wait—seriously? I’m going to be a dad?!" he exclaims, coming to a sudden stop in front of you with wide eyes and a grin that stretches from ear to ear. He’s so thrilled that he can barely stand still, constantly moving from one side of the room to the other, muttering excitedly to himself about baby names, future races, and all the things he’ll teach your child. "They’re gonna be fast, I just know it!" he says, already imagining a little speedster following in his footsteps. His excitement is contagious, and though he can be overwhelming at times, you know that Pietro’s joy is genuine and heartfelt.
During the pregnancy, Pietro is both attentive and hilariously impatient. He’s constantly zipping around, checking on you, fetching things, and making sure you’re comfortable. "You need anything? Water? Snacks? Foot rub?" he asks at lightning speed, already halfway out the door before you can answer. His energy is boundless, and though it can be a bit much at times, you appreciate how much he cares. Pietro is always talking to your belly, encouraging the baby to hurry up and grow faster. "Come on, little one, we’re all waiting for you!" he says with a grin, pressing a kiss to your stomach. Despite his impatience, Pietro is incredibly sweet, and he does everything he can to make sure you feel loved and supported throughout the entire process.
When labor begins, Pietro is a whirlwind of nervous energy. He’s constantly pacing, moving from one side of the room to the other, his speed betraying his anxiety. "You’re doing great, babe, really great!" he says, though his voice is tinged with nervousness. He tries to stay calm for your sake, but you can tell he’s on edge, desperate for everything to go smoothly. When the baby is finally born, Pietro’s world comes to a complete standstill for the first time in his life. The moment they place the baby in his arms, everything around him slows, and for once, he’s not in a rush to go anywhere. He stares down at your newborn child, his usual cocky smirk replaced with a look of pure awe and disbelief. "Wow," he whispers, his voice soft and reverent. "I… we made this." His hands, usually moving a mile a minute, are gentle as he cradles the baby close, eyes wide with wonder as he examines every little detail of their face.
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winchesterwild78 · 23 hours
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A Twist of Fate
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Characters: Dean x Reader, Billy x Reader
Warnings: Nothing too extreme, just some angst, language, and fluff
A/N: Got this idea from a picture I was tagged in by @jackles010378. Sorry it took me so long to write this. Dean and the reader were dating and broke up. Dean sees the reader with her new boyfriend and things unravel. 
This is a work of fiction, all work is my own, do not take it or copy it. 
Minors DNI 18+
The crisp autumn air nipped at my nose as Billy and I strolled down Main Street. The leaves were a kaleidoscope of reds, oranges, and yellows, a beautiful contrast to the gray sky. I couldn't help but think about how much my life had changed since I'd last seen Dean.
Three years. That's how long we'd been together. Three years of laughter, love, and a shared passion for the supernatural. And then, just like that, he was gone. A letter, a simple explanation that he couldn't be with me anymore. The pain had been unbearable, a wound that had slowly healed, leaving a scar that I would always carry.
That morning I woke up and found the letter on his pillow. It was the day my world broke. Tears fell on the letter as I read his simple words. 
Dear Y/N,
These past three years have been great. We’ve shared so much and done even more together. I know you love me. You’ve said it so many times, and showed me every day. I just can’t lie to you anymore. I don’t feel the same. That’s not fair to you, to make you think we have a future together. One where we get married and have kids. I can’t do the apple pie life. I’m sorry, Y/N. I do hope you find the love you deserve.
Goodbye,
D
It didn’t make sense to me. We had just shared a night of love and passion, tangled in each other’s embrace. Whispering words of love and affection. We talked of the future and he said he’d love to be a dad one day. He was the love of my life, then he was gone. 
Now, here I was, two years later with Billy. He was kind, considerate, and everything a good man should be. But a part of me couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.
We met through a mutual friend and had an instant connection. I wouldn’t call it love, but I was grateful for the companionship. I hadn’t even spoken the words to him. Billy was quick to say “I love you”, but I couldn’t say it because I didn’t mean it, nor did I feel it. 
Billy spent all of his free time with me. At times it felt suffocating. Dean and I spent a lot of time together too, but we also had our time apart. I’d bake and he’d work in the garage, it was a perfect balance.
Walking hand in hand through Main Street my mind kept comparing him to Dean. When Dean and I would walk, his arm was around me in a protective way. Billy just held my hand. Dean would lace his fingers in mine, Billy just cupped my hand. 
When Billy kissed me, it was hard and fast. When Dean kissed me it was soft and full of passion. Every step I took my mind kept comparing Billy to Dean. I couldn’t figure out why Dean was in the forefront of my thoughts.
And then I saw him. Leaning against the Impala, looking as effortlessly cool as ever. Dean. My heart pounded in my chest as our eyes met. A flash of something crossed his face - regret? Jealousy? I couldn't be sure.
As we continued walking, I glanced back. He was still watching, his gaze fixed on me. A wave of emotions washed over me. I stumbled as I looked back. I saw him gasp and jump off the car. Billy grabbed my arm trying to steady me. “You okay?” I nodded. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from Dean. Billy followed my gaze. Clearing his throat I turned and met his eyes. “Who’s that?” He asked, his voice laced with hurt and something else, anger maybe. I looked at Dean then back at Billy, “he’s my ex.” 
Billy wasn’t happy. I could feel the tension between us. As we walked into the quiet cafe he shot me a look that sent a chill through me. The cashier offered a soft smile. “How can I help you two today?” She said with a sweet voice. Billy looked at her and said “We will both have a coffee with 2 creams and 1 sugar.” She nodded as she started to put in the order. I spoke up, “Um, excuse me. I’ll have a vanilla latte please.” Billy shot me a look and grabbed my hand, “No, you’ll have what I ordered you. You’re my girlfriend and you’ll have what I order.” 
The cashier stood shocked. My mouth was on the floor. He’d never acted like this before. I touched his bicep softly, “Billy, I am your girlfriend, but I can order what I want.” Billy huffed and mumbled something. The cashier told Billy the total and she went about making the order. 
When we had our order Billy directed me to a booth at the back of the restaurant. I sat across from him and looked at him, shocked by his behavior. “You want to tell me what the hell that was about, Billy? Since when do you order for me and grab me?” Billy just stared at me, anger flashing in his eyes. It honestly scared me. 
“I didn’t like how you kept staring at pretty boy out there. It’s like you’re in love with him or something.” I bit my lip, not knowing what to say to him. I was in love with him. I never stopped loving him, but how could I tell him that? 
I swallowed hard. Touching Billy’s hand I started to speak, “Billy, I was in love with him when I was with him. He broke my heart and I’m with you now. That’s all that matters.” 
Billy pulled his hand away from me. “So you can love him but not me? You know what, screw this. Why don’t you go back to him and be his little whore again.” I gasped, “Billy! What the hell. Please calm down. I don’t want to be with him, I’m with you.”
Before I could say anything else, Billy stood up and told me to have a nice life and left. I sat at the table in shock. What the hell just happened? How did one little thing set him off like that? 
I sat at the table thinking about the past few years, how my love for Dean slipped away, and how Billy reacted to me seeing Dean. I was lost in thought and didn’t hear the bell above the door. 
The sound of a deep husky voice pulled me from my thoughts, “Hello, sweetheart.” My eyes flicked up and they met the piercing green eyes of my favorite hunter. My breath caught in my throat, “D…Dean, what are you doing here?” “Sammy and I were in town on a hunt, I heard you moved here. I’m so glad I ran into you. Can I sit?” 
“Sure.” I said without hesitation. Dean sat across from me. His hands instinctively grabbed mine. My head is screaming at me to pull away, but the rest of my body is holding on for dear life. 
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I was foolish and a complete jackass for leaving and for leaving you the way I did. I was scared. I had finally found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, have children with, and I got scared. Scared you would be taken away from me. Scared because I don’t deserve the love you had for me. I’ve never deserved love or to be loved. I’m broken, Y/N. 
As I sat across from him, hearing him say how he didn’t deserve love my heart broke for him. “Dean, you deserve so much.You, Dean Winchester, deserve all the love in the world. You were four years old when you saved your brother from the fire, you raised him. Dean, you had to be mom and dad to Sam. Dean Winchester, the man who willingly went to hell to save his baby brother, the man who was willing to die for so many people. Dean Winchester, the man who took on the Mark of Cain to help save the world. You deserve all the love this world has to offer. You deserve so much more than I can give you. I NEVER stopped loving you, Dean, and I know I never will.”
Dean stood and walked over to me. He reached out his hand and took my hand in his, pulling me up and flush to his body. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and his hand cupped my face, “You are even more beautiful now than you were two years ago. I was a fool to let you go, and I intend to spend the rest of my life making that up to you. That is if you’ll have me again.” 
I leaned into his hand that cupped my face. My heart hammered in my chest. His touch ignited that fire, that love I had buried deep inside me. Without another word I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was soft and Dean hesitated for a moment. Then something changed. His hands went into my hair and pulled me in. The kiss became more passionate and full of need. 
The hurt from the past two years was fading with each kiss. When we finally parted, I looked at Dean and smiled. His eyes are full of love and desire. “Dean, take me home.” I said as I leaned into his embrace.
Dean took my hand and led me out of the coffee shop and to the Impala. He opened the car door and I climbed in. When he got in the driver’s seat, he looked over, smiled and took my hand. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.” He stepped on the gas and we headed back home. Home, where we both belonged, together and in each other’s arms. 
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pineapplehazard · 2 days
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Just finished s7!!! Right on time✨
Now did I cry when Eddie said goodbye to Chris? Yes, yes I did.
But here's my thoughts about the last two episodes:
- Eddie Diaz : the whole thing with Kim was actually crazy of him, but her playing Shannon?? That man has a reason to act like a mad man but girl what are YOU doing?? That was a quick expedition out for Marisol too, Buck and him see to have a way to make girlfriends disappear this season.
- Chris Diaz : valid. I get why he thinks it's better for him to be away from his father for some time, it's probably a good thing actually for them to have space to breath and accept what happened. But the Diaz parents?? Ramon shit talking about Shannon every chances he's giving (he literally did it at her funeral that man has no shame), and Helena acting like she just won lottery, please at least ACT like you're not happy to take Chris from you son. Honestly if my own mom wasn't sitting right next to me I would have been insulting both of them so MUCH.
- Hen Wilson : I'm mad that they were all going to be happy and then that woman whose son hasn't been mentioned since like ep2? comes to take her revenge out of nowhere. When I saw Mara all closed on herself and quiet when Hen visited her that broke my heart😭 then at the end the emotional whiplash of Chris leaving, instantly followed by the Wilsons getting reunited with Mara, ouch (is it like 'a soul for a soul' but with family, like they CANNOT be happy at the same time??), also I know the plot was for Gerrard to come back, but I love Captain Wilson, and I wanted her to take after Bobby
- Chimney and Maddie: they're relatively absent from the final 2 eps so I don't have much to say, I loved Chimney calling Gerrard trash to his face, and I loved Maddie. I just love Maddie.
- Buck : such a good husband for his chaotic dating-the-doppelganger-of-his-deceased-ex husband... He was just so supportive and trying to help, gosh he's just so cute. But MORE IMPORTANTLY where's my angst?? You're telling me Bobby's in a coma, and all we got from Buck (who's basically his son) is one line of dialog AFTER we know Bobby's going to be alright? Sentence immediately followed by an awkward sex joke argh!! My favorite thing about 911 is Bobby and Buck's relationship and I don't know if it's just an impression but i feel like they barely had any interaction this season, I missed them, I need more of them!! Also all things considered Buck had quite a quiet and calm season, which does feel weird and not something that will stick
- Athena : she mentioned Emmett and I was just woop crying incoming! I'm not gonna dwell on the whole cartel thing, I'm sure people already express so many opinions on this, my real question is how many times can Athena break rules before getting a problem with the hierarchy? (ik she did in s1, but since then she's been pulling some sketchy moves from time to time with no problems afterwards). Also ik the house was going to burn but I hadn't thought of the implications, that they would loose all the memories and stuff and that's so sad, I totally get her panic about wanting to get everything that's on her phone to still have SOMETHING.
-Bobby : please bobby never leave the 118, maybe they could handle it but I couldn't, so please don't leave ever.
(-Tommy : whether you ship them or not, the last scene we got of them together (dinner at Buck's) should start an alarm in your brain about their future together, specially once you consider Gerrard's come back. Tommy literally says that Gerrard's the closest things he got to a father figure when he was in the 118, and that it didn't help him be a better person. (ik he's not saying he saw Gerrard the way Buck see Bobby but he still acknowledge that he saw him as a model of some sort), that's the online line 'acknowledging' Tommy's past actions, but also showing that he followed Gerrard's lead, and we know Buck is not going to appreciate Gerrard's way of leading and this definitely could be a big cause of conflict between Buck and Tommy...)
It feels weird to finally be up to date, and to know killer bees will attack LA in two days😭
I FORGOT RAVI!!
He was there for 3seconds but still, I was so happy seeing him, and ik so far it doesn't seem he'll be back in s8 for some time, so I'm devastated
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I was curious if you had any head canons pertaining to Malik Al-Sayf and him as a person? Let's forget that he is an assassin for a second and focus on him as an individual. Like is he comfortable with the loss of his left arm or is he embarrassed by it? What sparked his interest in maps and making them? Why was he so close with Kadar his baby brother? The more humanizing elements.
INDEED, I DO HAVE HEADCANNONS ABOUT THE DAI OF JERUSALEM! Ahem... But fr tho I do have a lot of head cannons about Malik as a person.
I don't know why...but he gives major "I'm abusive and angry toward the idiot novice but I'm actually really sweet" vibes. I think he's a total sweetie bear behind constantly humbling Altair lol
I think we ALL know that Altair's redemption arc wouldn't have been the same without Malik's verbal bashings and occasional scroll throwing.
About the loss of his left arm...
He was angry at first. Very angry. He had plans of how he wanted to help the Brotherhood and further their cause he so believes in, and then suddenly it was all taken away. He was told that he could no longer be in the field lest he be unnecessarily slain and then sent to Jerusalem. (This winds up fueling his spite and he became obsessed with mastering one armed swordsmanship...to the point where he could put two armed Altair on his ass lol)
Now he did go of his own free will, but he knew they put him in charge to soothe any battered ego he had. The man felt that it was a form of pity and emotional smothering. He had felt that Al Mualim had "requested" him to depart from Masyaf as a way to keep him from killing Altair... because he wanted to. He had felt...betrayed by what he believed in after it took so much from him and then it just swept him to the side like an old sandal. But being away and trying to focus on his responsibilities helped. Being alone also gave him time to cool down from his anger and focus on mourning his baby brother which he needed a lot of time to do.
He's not necessarily embarrassed by losing his arm, but he does feel inconvenienced by it from time to time. Forgetting that he no longer has a left hand to multitask and reach for things with. He was mad when he discovered that he couldn't carry as many books as he used to be able to, but he's smart so he found ways to get by (one of them including making a certain novice carry them lest he refuse and get bonked on his hooded coconut)
Malik can handle himself and you just KNOW that he mastered his f- you glare by giving the death stare to anyone who looked for too long ahaha. He does not appreciate staring AT ALL. He has eyes to make eye contact with hello. He also gets tired of explaining his sudden missing limb and of people expressing sympathy at the beginning because it just refreshes everything - plus he's Malik Al-Sayf OKAY he doesn't need BOTH ARMS to be a BADASSARINO.
He also feels vulnerable from time to time, and he doesn't like that one bit. He already lives a high alert lifestyle so losing his arm put him on peak "don't touch me or I won't hesitate" mode. The vulnerability wore on him for a while but eventually he became confident enough in his skills to protect himself again and his love helped too.
Though in a way he does appreciate the new awareness that losing his arm has brought him. It made him more reactions quicker and he became more responsive - such as a catching a falling book in the blink of an eye or blocking the cat from bapping his quill in the inkwell and knocking it over lol. (He has a cat in there with him and you CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE)
As for his interest in maps and making them...
We know that Malik was jealous of the way that Altair from a young age was "the favorite" of Al Mualim - so we can assume that he does in fact feel jealousy and it affects him on different levels. Whether it consists of the manifestation of saltiness toward the one he's jealous of, or it results in him learning a new skill. SO -
Malik was jealous of the eagles. Yes, the bird. He was always jealous of how they could fly so high up into the sky and see everything, everywhere, far and wide from multiple angles, and it made him wonder if such a thing was possible for him. When he could, he loved climbing up to high places - not to perform the Leap of Faith - to see the view from above. He loved it. And it made him think about other ways he could see everything from different perspectives.
Then he discovered Cartography. Needless to say, he was ecstatic lol. Map making for him was the perfect way to achieve what he wanted. He could have an Eagle Eye view of a large area from multiple perspectives and see everything just like he wanted. He could even make multiple versions of it from different angles! He could make a map of Masyaf from his POV in the mountains OR from the top of the Bureau.
I also think that him being so into cartography is a bit of a traumatic response. If he has a map and he knows the place intimately or can study it to see what it holds, he feels better about sending someone there or going himself. He didn't know what the Temple of Solomon held that day...and if he had he would have made Kadar stay home.
I even have a head cannon that Malik makes multiple versions of maps not just from different perspectives and to have backup copies, but to troll people haha. You telling me that this man wouldn't make a fake as hell map to fool Templars in case they stole them? I just KNOW he gave Altair multiple maps and told him to keep the true one on his person so if the enemy was successful in snatching the maps they'd get BAMBOOZLED ACK-
Finally, you wanted to know why I think he was so close with his baby brother Kadar...
I believe that he was so close with his baby brother Kadar because he's a family man, he's loyal, and he loves hard. They didn't really have their parents growing up so more oft than not he felt alone in the world. But no matter how alone he felt Kadar was always there for him, whether it was annoying him, joking with him, or just sitting with him. He fell into the role of big brother easily and got used to being the protective provider. Without Kadar he no longer had someone to care and look out for and Malik didn't know what to do with himself besides bury himself in his work.
It felt like a knife to heart when he lost the only family he had ever truly had because he knew that the Brotherhood was merely a figment of family - not the true family that he wanted. He had always dreamed of Kadar and him having their own families and bringing them both together to be one big happy family. But when Kadar was killed the reality of that dream never coming true...hit him hard.
Malik was also incredibly angry by the slaughtering of his brother Kadar because he was so young. He had so much potential and so much life to live - and it was taken like it had never even existed. He had imagined teasing Kadar about falling in love when the time came, the pride he would feel watching his baby brother one day become a Master Assassin as he had always dreamed of, the happiness he would feel on behalf of his little brother when he became a father. He had imagined what it would've been like to grow old and have Kadar crack jokes about aching bones and greying hair. Malik had imagined watching his little brother grow up the same way parents would anticipate watching their child grow.
Now, for the rest of his life he'll be tortured by "what ifs" and possibilities that will never happen. Malik felt robbed of the one true gift he had ever received in his life - especially as most people in his position don't get what he had. Family.
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krishna-sangini · 3 months
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Okay, yesterday, I was listening to some 2010's romantic hits when I realized something...
Being an aro, I always found the lyrics of romantic songs ridiculously exaggerated. because I felt that no matter how much I loved a person, I would never be able to sing those songs for them while meaning every single word. It was just impossible.
That was until I myself felt true love, my love for our man Kanha...❤️
"मेरे दिल को तू जाँ से जुदा कर दे यूँ बस तू मुझ को फ़ना कर दे मेरा हाल तू, मेरी चाल तू, बस कर दे आशिक़ाना"
Absolutely true. Do all this to me, sakha. Anyday.
"हाथों से लकीरें यही कहती है के ज़िंदगी जो है मेरी तुझी में अब रहती है"
No cap. Absolute truth. each and every word.
"इक तुझको ही पाने की ख़ातिर सबसे जुदा मैं हो जाऊँ
कल तक मैंने जो भी ख़्वाब थे देखे तुझमें वो दिखने लगे"
Satya vachan at its peak. Periodt.
It's like, falling in love with my Keshav has helped me find a new dimension of love... That is something pure and selfless... Oh, GOD, I love you 🥹
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.
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piko-power · 1 month
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
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When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
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You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
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During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
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But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
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Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
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Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
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-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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sebnameyourcar · 1 year
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hmmm. felt a bittersweet feeling.
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tatakaeeren · 1 year
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V GOJO LOOKED SO GOSH DARN BEAUTIFUL AND I AM STILL SQUEALING LOL
YEESSSSSSS ABSOLUTELY YESSSSSS!!!! I STILL CANT STOP SCREAMING AND THINKING ABOUT HIM!!! ADHAKDHKHDAKHAK
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harrylights · 1 year
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philcoulsonismyhero · 2 years
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There's something really very entertaining to me about the fact that, whenever I think too hard about DCTV Eobard Thawne or rewatch basically any of his scenes, I start flapping one or both of my hands up and down so fast I'm almost making ominous helicopter noises of my own. Feels right, feels appropriate
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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On one hand my one sister is Big Stupid and pregnant again, which I wouldn't care as much about if this wasn't the fourth kid with the fourth shitty fucking father who will do nothing but cause even MORE pain and suffering to my sister's life, and on the other hand my other sister keeps sending me apartment ads which is very sweet because she ALSO just had a baby (in August and also her situation is stable, I'm very proud she managed to pull off what she did considering where she's come from. Her boys, especially Older Nephew were SO excited for the baby and I love listening to Older Nephew talk about his sister, it's so heartening to see him so happy and excited. Something tells me my other sisters 3 girls won't be nearly as impressed, especially not Oldest Niece and it's gotten to a point where I feel somewhat compelled to try and mentor this poor kid but I don't know SHIT about kids and don't want to let this poor kid down like everyone else has, she deserves better than that).
Granted my whole life I've preferred Apartment Sister to Making Poor Life Choices sister but also recently Making Dumb Choices has made some serious improvements to her life, very impressive ones too, so it's just disappointing to watch her backslide especially into the same bullshit she's been doing since she was 18 and is now 32. But at least I'm not the only one apartment hunting 😂😂 her efforts are super appreciated given that she just moved herself as well, plus having a fresh baby (very cute baby too). Now with any luck my OTHER sibling will get her shit together hopefully before we're on child number six with father number six with all the same fucking personality flaws and mental health problems not one of these men take even remotely seriously because that's exhausting to me let alone my damn sister.
#winters ramblings#its very sweet that my oldest sister keeps sending apartment ads sometimes im reminded that they care in strange ways#but i like to keep that in the noggin for bad mental health days so if i feel like everyone hates me i can remind myself thats not true#now if only my OTHER older sister would stop making the worlds SHITTIEST choices and grow up thatd be great#i cant imagine doing the same shit at 32 as i did at 18 and bringing a CHILD into my stuoid fantasy thats utterly detached#from ANY known reality. she wants what my oldest sister has i guarantee it but oldest sister GOT that way#because she did the WORK to get there. went to therapy figured out how to make better dating choices for her and her kids#and now shes engaged to an AMAZING dude who loves the hell out of her and her kids. my other sister isnt gunna find that#with her present situation and it pisses me the hell off that we need a FOURTH kid to suffer through her fucking bullshit#before she MIGHT learn getting pregnant with bullshit dudes kids isnt gunna turn them into prince charming#prince charming doesnt exist and CHILDREN won't make him appear either. hard work and looking for men that DONT SUCK#is the way to go. getting therapy is the way to go. or at least SOMETHING self improvement that isnt a self improvement cult#because at this point i would not out it past her to decide to improve her life but do so in the most toxic way possible because it seems#she does not have the emotional skills and tools to do better. which is EXHAUSTING to watch. i love her i do#but oh my GOD how MANY times do you have to make the SAME mistake over THIRTEEN YEARS before you learn?!?!!!?!#and to drag FOUR children into your nonsense fantasy where It Works Out This Time. it WON'T WORK OUT#this man shes back together with for four seconds is a fucking tool who cant even pay his rent and keeo the shit in the apartment#he list that MY SISTER HELPED HIM GET. this man isnt even willing to take care of HIMSELF because he 'doesnt care' W H Y have a kid#with shit like that. itll do nothing but cause that kid pain let alone the three existing kids and i don't know why i seemed to have put#more thought into hakf this shit than she has. im nit kidding when i say ive out INFINITELY more thought into getting a DOG#or another cat than she put into having ANY of her going to be four kids and im baffled that people do that#because CHILDREN arent a joke theyre WHOLE PEOPLE who deserve better than what shes going to give them#like my oldest niece got shipped to her grandparents for being too much to handke like 7 months ago and youre adding a FOURTH??#unbelievably irresponsible and also an amazing way to tell my niece shes replacable and when the going gets tough SHE gets going#no 13 year old should EVER have to deal with this shit. which is why i feel kinda compelled to step in#but i dont have OR want kids i just see this poor girl struggling and appayfeel for her more than anyone else does#like thats not 100% true i KNOW my sister loves her kids but on the flipside shes totally fine to fuck this kid up#in all KINDS of ways i know shes not intending to but fuck. YOU chose this kid how DARE you ship her out when she gets too much#AND THEN CHOOSE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE THAT WONT BE DETRIMENTAL TO LITERALLY EVERYONE
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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gor3sigil · 2 months
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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.
I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.
Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.
I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.
5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.
I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.
I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.
I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.
I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.
I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.
But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.
I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.
It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.
If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.
Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.
It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.
You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.
Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.
Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.
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