#man I laughed so much writing this

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Driving Lesson

Just a quick something I had in mind about Donnie teaching one of his brothers how to drive. Have some Leo and Donnie bonding moment, GO 👏

(and yes it's gonna be the van from the 2014 movie, not the garbage truck. BABY STEPS!)

In the dead of the night, under a bridge, a lone van was stopped. Its glasses were tinted, yet the faint glow of green fairy lights inside was giving out the shape of two souls sitting inside the vehicle.

Leo was trying to make himself comfortable in the driver's seat, frowning as his hold fiddled lightly against the steering wheel. He looked at the rear view mirror, adjusting it slightly. Damn, why did he feel so cramped in here?

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" he voiced out, looking over to the passenger seat - where Donnie was now sitting.

"What? Teaching you how to drive? Of course it is," answered the bespectacled terrapin with a quick shrug. "If there's a time during a mission that renders me unable to drive, I need you guys to know how to do so. It's only logical."

"I dunno, man," muttered Leo, looking back at the meters and levers and whatsnot. "Looks like a bunch of nonsense right now."

Donnie smirked.

"Raph's doing it pretty well."

Leonardo paused, his lips forming a thin line.

"bitch," he mumbled under his breath, then shifting the van's stick into its driving position.

There's no way Raph was going to beat him at this. He wouldn't want to hear that damn brute boast for any reason... The leader's first instinct was to push hard onto the right pedal, the vehicle roaring into life and accelerating to an alarming pace. Both terrapins yelped as the van was moving fast between the underbridge's columns, soon heading towards one. Donnie was able to overcome his initial fear to shout: "HIT THE BRAKES!"

"HUH?!"

"THE LEFT PEDAL, IDIOT!!!"

Leo's foot finally moved to the next pedal, slamming it just in time before hitting the concrete column in his path. The sudden stop brought the two turtles to hit the van's dashboard, Donnie lowkey scared it would bring the airbags out - yet relieved when they did not. A second passed as they took their bearing, the purple banded mutant then glaring at the driver:

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Trying to drive!" answred Leo, similarly annoyed.

"We're not racing, don't speed up like that!"

The leader glared at his brother.

"How should I know, I've never driven something before!"

"For fuck's sake, and you thought that was the best idea at first?!"

Both sulked for a short moment, Donnie leaning into his seat as he pinched his nose bridge under his glasses, Leo lightly drumming his thumbs against the wheel, thinking.

The younger brother sighed, his free hand vaguely gesturing in the air as he said: "What, is it because I mentionned Raph and how he's already good at this?"

He slightly opened an eye, looking at Leo who was trying not to show he was somehow defeated.

"...No."

"Uh-huh," noticed Donnie, unconvinced.

"Whatever," dismissed Leo. "I'm sorry. ... I- I was just eager to start."

"Uhhhh-huh," reiterated the other.

Donnie moved, then shifting the stick into its reverse position.

"It's okay...," he started, trying to sound comforting. "Mistakes happen, .... although we don't want them to happen too often when it comes to driving."

Leo half-smiled at that.

"Let's start by backing up, then we'll start from the top. Alright? Nobody's perfect on the first try." added the purple one.

The leader nodded, readjusting his seated position again, now slightly more confident. He paused. Looked back at Donnie.

"... How do I back up?"

Oh it was going to be a long night...

[bulbabutt]

Raphaella Meets His Match

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

raph 🤝 mona getting in way over their heads

[necrotic-nephilim]

I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.

batman (1940) #618

And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.

batman (1940) #650

It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?

When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.

[infernothechaosgod]

I love you "four eared trouble" oswald

Hell yeah a ghost brother trying to help you break into a ritch guy's house because he fucking stole your "kinda magic mirror" my beloved

also

I love how the jokes with oswald being an older character arent just him using 1920's slang and that being his entire personality but him being unaware of so many things We found out during the decades Like yeah uhhhh i dont know i dont think you can land on the sun oswald

[remyfire]

This man will find any excuse to stand dick-to-ass with somebody he cares for and I greatly appreciate that unique love language.

[sesamestreep]

“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???

And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??

[bayetea]

I don't like the judo flip in moa as much as the next guy but in my eyes it's largely the result of rick not taking female violence half as seriously as male violence (a result of viewing women as weaker and inferior to men such that their acts of violence don't need to be taken as seriously) and not so much anything about annabeth herself. like I do genuinely feel that annabeth is a complex heroine and definitely one of the better ones in the realm of ya action-adventure fiction produced in the past 25 years but she is still a girl being written by a man and all I'm saying is that her writing clearly reflects that sometimes (more in tags)

[moresrush]

By the gods, you are terrified of loving a man who tries to help everyone he meets --- but you chide him for his selflessness and you remind him, again and again, that you intend to keep him WHOLE as you travel together on land and sea. He, in turn, reminds you that he is no pushover, that it is the two of you against the world --- and someone should start warning people. He's going to make big changes, and you fear the ones he will instill in you the most.

[dumbassalex]

In middle of Batman & the Mad Monk after reading Batman & The Monster Men....justice for Julia Madison, you could've been a great character, instead you're anoying and stuck between being horny but angry about Bruce or worried about your father. Neither deserving the patience you have with them.

[toomanywordsnllines]

Soap being giggly when he's happy is a hc very, oh so dear to me.

But he also seems to be the type to giggle when he's about to cry/nervous.

I don't know the image of him talking to Ghost after maybe a more dangerous mission, starting to giggle because Ghost probably said something funny and then him just suddenly dissolving into tears while giggling. Little laughs that turn into a sob. Because he just got hit by the grief of what they do for a leaving and maybe he could've lost Ghost. Simon being hit hard with whiplash by Soap's reaction and feeling very very worried and heartbroken.

[fountainpenguin]

Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:

Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them

Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later

Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night

Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things

Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol

Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner

Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway

Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong

Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"

Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them

Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing

Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him

Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)

Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her

Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back

Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out

Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance

Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat

Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)

Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe

Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword

Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn

Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear

Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her

Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1

Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj

Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1

Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack

Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that

Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box

Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base

Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead

Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)

Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)

Things that did not happen:

Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner

Martyn and Cleo hating each other

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[laniidae-passerine]

catch me laughing in the club awkwardly because this season has a 19 year old blonde female companion from London, a space travelling left of law brunette queer boy who flirts heavily with the doctor, absolutely zero writers of colour and no mention of sensitivity readers…….and next season the new companion is a woman of colour. uh oh!

[noxiousgrace]

Cale henituse taking an edible and forgetting he no longer lives in the 21st century

In the year of our lord 783 of the felix calendar (wait is felix the jesus of the raon kingdom??? Why'd the year count start w that guy)

This is krs!cale by the way

-------

Cale, lowkey woozy: bro...

Ron: yes, young master-nim?

Cale: did you put weed in my brownies?

Ron: no? Why would i put invasive plants in your snacks? *Confused benign chuckle*

Cale: why.. *smacks lips* why is the world so topsy turny ron? Hm?

Ron: ah, it must be the sleeping herbs.

Cale: no, you just gave me an edible.

Ron: ...is it not supposed to be edible?

Cale: *snort* that's something a boomer would say

Ron: a what?

Cale: *waves hand* whatever, you wouldn't understand internet culture anyway.

Ron: *is honestly just confused*

Cale: *already forgot about the subject at hand* i remember this one time i was in highschool *snort*

Ron:....?

Cale: i was with a bunch of kids, theatre kids, and we all did *snort* edibles and thought it would be fun to play truth or dare

Ron: young mas-

Cale: *talking over him* and well, I didn't think it was a good idea cuz we were probably gonna do something stupid and like *wheeze* we made this one guy dress up as eric cartman *absolutely losing it, smacking his knee and laughing*

Ron: *honestly thinks cale is hallucinating at this point and is debating on calling a priest*

Cale: and we fuckin made him sing an entire lady gaga album, can you immaaagiineeee?? *Wheeeeze*

Cale: and oml what he did after was insane! So we didn't get off very well so he thought it would be sooo funny to like... *He looked up at the ceiling, completely losing the plot again* hehsh did i ever tell you this ceiling lowkey looks European

Cale: *starts mumble singing* gay or europeeaann,, it's hard to guaranteeee,,, is he gay or europeeeann???

Ron: *has already left the room in order to get someone to help cale*

---

*cale has migrated into the library*

Priest: young master-nim pleas-

Cale: whyyyy did you get an entire squad of exorcists in here ron????

Ron: young master, you're not yourself *he actually looks concerned*

Cale: *wheeze* what are you? Y/n???? My coworker wasn't crazy after all,,,

Ron: ...??

Cale: No because drinking games are crazy

Cale: anyway i miss mmorpgs man *sigh* i miss my wife tails

Ron: wife???

Cale: *ignoring him* pink fluffy uniiicorns dancing on rainbooows *knows this song from the one time he had to babysit the neighbors kid*

---

The day after

-

Ron: young master-nim

Cale: *jumps out of his skin because of rons sudden appearance* what????

Ron: what is a boomer? You were saying a lot of funny things yesterday.

Cale: *sweating bullets* I've been having weird dreams lately???

Ron: uhuh *it's obvious he doesn't believe cale but just leaves it alone for now*

[savage-rhi]

Fuschia/Magenta?

[skoulsons]

How come every other relationship in media that has had one person write a note to another because of separation, anticipating their death, different life choices, or some other gut wrenching reason has gotten a voiceover by the character(s) except daisy and coulson. DID THEY NOT GET THE MEMO

[witheredgardenparty]

Every now and then I see the discourse circulate on this hellsite, and I wonder if people know that the term 'yandere' used to have an extremely specific definition that no longer holds up to how people use it today