#like. only one master splinter (and only during a specific point in his life) would hear his kids having a mental breakdown and just make

[roseverdict]

anybody else ever have the sudden realization that the reason they can never really get a handle on positive character dynamics between parents/guardians/caretakers and children without feeling like they come off as cheesy/oversaccharine is because their own parents kinda lowkey suck ass

because that realization feels wack

[cnwolf-brainrot]

03 Turtles - Greatest Fears

At least, as sourced from season 3, episode 14: The Darkness Within. I rewatched this episode, where the turtles are shown some of their greatest fears through hallucinogenic visions, and I decided to hyper-analyze the scenes to a friend of mine who doesn't watch TMNT so now I'm throwing these thoughts here as well. Simply put, these are the visions the turtles are shown: Leonardo: the death of Master Splinter Donatello: the death of Angel (who they were trying to help on this mission) Michelangelo: Leonardo turning against him Raphael: himself as the Shredder

As for why each of these are extremely important, I analyze them under the cut~

Leonardo: Leo holds Splinter's praise so much higher than his brothers do. Leo is the eldest child, the leader, the good student and the role model. He strives to emulate his father in all that he does. However, Splinter's death isn't some distant fantasy that Leo could never imagine; it's a real, stark, bone-deep terror that Leo carries. He's seen Splinter on the brink of death before. They all thought they lost him for a bit during season one. Leo knows his father isn't invincible, and that is TERRIFYING to him. He's the one who his brothers look to for guidance, and Leo looks to Splinter... without his father, EVERYTHING falls on his shoulders, and is he strong enough to bear that? This is further proved by the fact that in the vision thing Leo sees, Splinter rescues him before he dies; he looks to his father for guidance, security, everything... having to lead alone is his greatest fear.

Donatello: Don gets like twenty seconds of screen time and that makes me mad, but what he gets is important. Out of all of his brothers, his is the only vision that's focused on someone other than direct family. Donatello is a people-focused character; he goes out of his way to help others, and constantly throughout the series we see how empathetic he is. It doesn't matter if the focus of the episode is helping a dear friend or a stranger; Donny is the first in line to help. Moreover, he takes every single life they touch personally. This is seen specifically through how he keeps a bond with the homeless population of New York (seen in multiple episodes), how he witnesses the loss of April's neighbor Kirby, and how he spends months trying to find a cure for people who were experimented on by the Shredder (seen in the Underground episodes) even after his brothers have all but forgotten about them. Don is quick to protect people, and when he does he takes every single failure to heart. Failing someone he pledged to help is his greatest fear.

Michelangelo: Mikey seeing one of his brothers, particularly Leonardo, turn against him shows so much of his relationship with his brothers. Mikey's the annoying one, the goofball, the one the others are always teasing to the point its almost mean... but every single one of them would jump to his side in an INSTANT if he was hurt. This isn't just something Mikey "knows", it's something he SEES. Every time Mikey is in trouble, or -- God forbid -- an enemy makes the mistake of THREATENING Mikey, his brothers come out in full force. I can't even reference specific episodes here because it's throughout the WHOLE SERIES. Mikey knows he's annoying, and he knows he gets on his brothers nerves sometimes. But one thing he never has to doubt is if his brothers would be by his side... that is, until they're not. If there's ever something that would push his brothers far enough that they're not there with him, then what would he be left with? His brothers turning against him is Mikey's greatest fear.

Raphael: Raphael. OHHHHHH Raphael. The second Raph's was reveal was the second I decided I needed to type out this rant. At first his is simple; The Shredder walks out and attacks him. Raph fights back, as he always does, but eventually the helmet is knocked off and the Shredder's face is revealed... only it's Raph's face. And this shows us just what Raph is scared of; HIMSELF. Raphael genuinely struggles with anger issues in the 2003 show in a way that's a bit more prominent than in other iterations (my favorite example of this is probably the "what's wrong with me?" from the episode Lone Raph and Cub). He's angry, he's destructive, and he KNOWS this. It's something he's been told and seen for years. He struggles with controlling his anger, and he's had times before when he's lashed out and nearly hurt his brothers. Most of the time he brushes it off and recovers and makes up for it by throwing himself into danger to make sure his brothers aren't hurt. What makes this so heartbreaking is that this Raphael is an absolute sweetheart. He's all brawn and thick skin on the outside, but he's an utter softie; take his interactions with Tyler from Lone Raph and Cub, Mrs. Morrison from Touch and Go, or Ryan from this episode. And that's not to mention his interactions with his brothers!! This Raphael has a huge heart for others, and he has no idea. He genuinely doesn't seem to understand the fact that he's a caring person because he only is aware of his own faults. The fact that he sees himself as this -- their greatest enemy unmasked to see HIMSELF underneath -- shows just how little he knows about who he truly is. Raphael's greatest fear is himself, and that utterly breaks, my heart. Ok I'm done that's just my turtle overanalysis for the day, thank you for coming to my TED talk

[solomonish]

you and me, we outlive even demons (solomon x reader)

Pros of being immortal: You have all the time in the world to do whatever you want - and, you can be immortal with Solomon. Cons of being immortal: You have to watch all your friends die, and it's Belphegor's time to go.

WARNING: major character death! all of the demon brothers are dead. belphegor is the only one to die on-screen.

ao3 link: here!

When Belphegor died, it was nighttime.

In the Devildom, it is always night, with varying shades of black painting the sky depending on the time and the weather. Once, a long time ago, you were able to distinguish between the slightest shades. Your time as an exchange student provided you with that sort of interesting skill set. But that was thousands of years ago, when the seven lords were all still young, when their scars still throbbed with the sharp ache of loss. You had been the mouse to pluck the splinter from the lion's paw - and now you were the one to see them off, holding the hand you had relieved of pain so very long ago, and watching as it slowly became limp as the demon you loved disappeared.

Demon death was nothing like human death - according to the others, it was a horrifying ordeal with lots of flames and disintegration during the cleanest affairs. However, with their power and the help of Diavolo, they were able to stave off these effects just enough to give you a final goodbye.

When you got the urgent message just minutes before midnight, your heart dropped to your stomach. Belphie had shown the signs of his death for a while, with his power growing dimmer and his sin nearly consuming all of his soul until he could barely stay awake for five minutes a day. His decline only sped up once Beel had gone without him - you knew he had secretly hoped they'd go out together, but fate had other plans and keeping up with Beel's appetite when he could barely fight through his gluttony under normal circumstances was becoming too big a feat to ignore. You were pretty sure the only reason Belphie hadn't allowed himself to succumb as soon as he could have was to give you a chance to recover from that loss.

That was almost more cruel, however. A fitting departure for Belphegor, all things considered.

When you arrived in the Devildom, your portal opening right outside the door to Belphegor's room (an exact teleportation spell that had taken you many more years to master than it rightfully should have, you remember), Diavolo and Barbatos were waiting for you. The king and his butler naturally had much longer lives than the brothers, and had taken upon themselves the death rites duties to ensure they were properly cared for. Their faces were stern, solemn, and they nodded wordlessly at you before opening the door for you.

You didn't need to steel yourself for this. It was your seventh round, after all.

The room was dark, but you could see Belphegor's shape underneath his blankets and pillows. Lying on the floor next to his bed was the cow print pillow he always had with him, and that was the first arrow that pierced your heart. The mementos they decided to leave for you would always have that effect, you supposed.

He was sleeping, unsurprisingly, so you sat gingerly on the bed and decided to wait for him to wake up on his own. You didn't want to rush this moment with him anyway - not now that it was the last one. So instead, you watched his steady breathing, smiling softly to yourself as he shifted and murmured just like he used to when you first met.

Death didn't come with old age for demons. Belphegor looked the same as he used to, if not a little more worn, if not with a few more smile lines. All of the brothers had looked almost the same when they parted - that made it harder, to see them smile at you like it was the early days just moments before they left you for good. Even if they made it no secret that their extensively long lives would eventually come to an end, you thought that you would be long gone by that time. Then, years and years after the exchange program ended, you wound up stepping into the world of immortality, taking your place at Solomon’s side to help guide the humans in their lives without ever showing yourself. (You really should have died that time, but having at least seven powerful demons that would tear every dimension apart for you had its perks. The story of your second escape from death was taboo for about a year, until it became a favorite joke at the table when you were all gathered around, Solomon included, for a holiday or just a dinner to reconnect.)

With a gentle groan, Belphegor shifted and turned to his back, bumping his leg into your hip and peeking at you with one half-open eye. He took a moment to pull himself out of his stupor, but the lazy smile he gave you once he finally realized it was you had your stomach twisting in knots. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Without you asking, Belphegor reached out to you and offered his hand. He was there last time, when Beelzebub had specifically requested that the both of you be there with him. He knew how you wanted to do this. You took his hand, rubbing gently over his knuckles. You were past the point where the size of their hands compared to you startled you, but now, it only served to make you feel a little smaller than before.

Some of the brothers had been chatty before they left. Mammon had been trying to cheer you up, a little shaken up at the prospect of death (and leaving you alone with his brothers - who knew what they would do without him to stop them) and talked to distract himself. Levi was quiet with occasional bursts of asking for reassurance, mostly that you would remember him fondly. Asmo wanted to know if he looked as stunning as he used to, a strange vulnerability in his voice when he said he just wanted your last memory of him to be as pretty as all the others. The others were quiet, having already settled their affairs and relishing in the last moments with their beloved human before finally allowing themselves to let go.

Belphie, it seemed, was a quiet one.

You sat there in comfortable silence, running your fingers over the smooth skin on his hand while he stared up at the ceiling. Not for the first time in your life, you found yourself wondering just what he was thinking. His face was still, showing no emotion that might tip you off. Perhaps that was better. You didn’t want his last day to be one filled with stewing over his regrets.

It took a while, but eventually he shifted slightly so he was turned towards you. That was how you knew it was getting closer - he was turning to say goodbye.

"Thank you, MC. If it hadn't been for you..." Neither of you wanted to think about that. If it hadn't been for your stupidity, or your nosy behavior, perhaps you wouldn't still be alive long past your intended lifespan. Perhaps Belphegor wouldn't be remembering his brothers so fondly now. Maybe they wouldn’t have survived all they’ve been through since your arrival. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. With a sigh, he looked at you one last time and squeezed your hand. "Well, let's just say this dreadful existence wasn't so dreadful at all."

You brought his knuckles to your lips and placed a gentle kiss on them, never breaking eye contact. "I love you, Belphie. Be safe wherever you're going next."

"No." That got you to chuckle. Maybe you WOULD miss his bratty side. Just a little.

"Say hi to your brothers for me."

"Now that I can do." He gave you a smug smirk and squeezed your hand one more time, a little weaker than the last. "Goodbye, MC. Thanks for coming. I love you too."

You stayed there on the bed with him until the gentle thrum of his magic now longer settled beneath his past mark, the pact mark you made sure would stay on your skin forever, long after his hand had gone limp. Then, you stayed a few minutes more before gently placing his hand down and covering your face with your hands.

With that, the seven demon lords were gone, and you sat pactless in their empty, too-quiet house.

After a while, Diavolo and Barbatos came in the room and ushered you out, murmuring a few sympathies and trying to comfort you while saying they needed to do their jobs. You nodded, grabbing the cow pillow and stepping outside of the door. They both offered for you to come back any time you needed, saying that the House of Lamentation would remain empty and protected for a while until they sorted out what to do with the Demon Lords’ material belongings. You, of course, would have a say in their decisions. It wasn’t until they said goodbye and the door to the twins’ room shut with a click that the grief threatening to bubble over started to spill.

When you stepped through the portal, back into the living room of the apartment you and Solomon decided to settle in for a while, you were greeted by none other than the sorcerer himself. He was in a formal outfit, having been out discussing something with the Sorcerer’s Society you still didn’t have the clearance to know about. From his messy hair and wrinkled clothing, he looked like he had been through a long day - but even more than that, he looked like he was on the brink of some small-scale breakdown. Once he saw you, his face shifted from panic to relief to understanding. You belatedly realized that the message made you drop everything and leave, not sparing a moment to text Solomon that you’d be gone and barely turning off the heat you were brewing potions over. No wonder he looked so panicked - who knew what he thought had happened to you?

Instead of admonishing you, he cleared off a spot on the couch in front of him. “It was Belphegor, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Asmodeus was the only one who wanted Solomon to be there when he passed, but even then, he asked that he be alone with you in his true final moments. Despite not being personally included in their deaths, Solomon had been aware of the demon’s passing through you if not through his own snooping. Being able to feel your friends fade through their pact marks freaked you out a little, and you, of course, turned to Solomon when you needed to vent about it.

After the couch was cleared of his jacket and papers from the both of you, he approached you slowly. This time, you didn’t open your arms to accept his embrace - you were holding too tightly to the cow pillow, sniffling, worried you might actually fall apart if you dared to let go. Solomon got the message and placed one hand on your shoulder, gently guiding you to sit on the couch. He sat right next to you, so close that there was no space between your thighs, and lifted his arm so you could curl into him. Between the brothers and the people you loved in your original life, he had gotten surprisingly good at comforting you. You had a feeling this unexpected proficiency was only for you - Solomon hadn’t exactly been the best at comfort until you told him what you needed.

You made yourself comfortable, leaning into his chest and letting him gently run his hand up and down your arm. Other than your sniffling, the apartment was quiet. The sun was just barely beginning to rise, shining through the large window to your side. Even if not much was said, Belphegor’s death must have taken a long time, you thought idly.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” you murmured when it felt like you could speak again. The strain in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by either of you, but Solomon had the wisdom to save any observations for himself.

“It’s alright. I only just got home. I wasn’t worrying for long.”

“They kept you for a while.”

“Yeah,” He started, running his free hand down his face. Honestly, he could fill the day with the ridiculous stories the old masters he had to deal with gave him. Between their obviously exaggerated tales and the stupid hoops Solomon had to jump through to get a straight answer (which never failed to make him wonder how you had the infinite patience to stay with him, though he’d never say it out loud), it was a wonder how he got out of the headquarters in a day. But he’d have those stories in his mind for a while, and distracting you now wouldn’t help anything, so he only repeated himself after his pause. ”Yeah.”

Your gaze fixated on a spot on the carpet, probably an old potion stain. Or maybe it was a wine stain from when the remaining brothers came over for dinner. With another clench in your chest, you realized Lucifer and Mammon never got to see this apartment. It was sleek, and definitely one of the nicer places the two of you picked out to live in - Mammon would have loved it.

“You were right,” You finally murmured. “It never got easier with them.”

“That might be a good thing. The younger brothers would have been jealous if you had been more sad about the older ones.”

You considered that and nodded, clutching the pillow tighter to your chest. “I just...I knew they weren’t immortal like us, but...it was just hard to imagine that they would actually die.”

Beside you, Solomon hummed and nodded as he shifted his free hand so it was placed oh-so-gently over his hip. He, too, decided to keep Asmodeus’ pact mark when he passed. Even with a few thousand years more of experience, it seemed Solomon was just as susceptible to the habits of sentimentality.

“What are we going to do?” Burying your face in the pillow, you fought off a shudder that threatened to shake you with your sudden dread. “The lords are gone. Will there be new ones? How will Diavolo be able to lead with just himself?”

“I doubt there will be any replacements coming anytime soon. Diavolo thinks of them as friends. Besides, Lucifer was really the only one who helped him out. He’s had a few hundred years to get used to doing things without him.” You didn’t lift your face from the pillow for a while, huddling in on yourself until you felt Solomon gently tap the side of your cheek, asking for your attention. Slowly, you lifted your head from the pillow and wiped the tear streaks from your face as Solomon gently tilted your face higher so he could make proper eye contact. “You’re used to fixing things for them, MC, we both know that. But everybody else has it under control. You need to take this time to...sort yourself out.”

You knew he was right - you had been nothing but a fixer since you met the demons (not that it was chore - at least, not in hindsight.) This wasn’t your mess to clean up. If anything, you felt like the mess that needed cleaned up. Sorting yourself out, though, picking up your pieces when you thought they were shattered in different quadrants of the earth...it seemed impossible.You shuffled so you were now sitting cross-legged and facing him, keeping your head up and ignoring the sting in your eyes as more tears threatened to spill.

“I miss them all, Solomon. So much.”

“I know you do.”

“It feels….it feels like I’ll never figure out how to get through this now that they’re all gone.”

“I can imagine.”

His tone was far from unkind, but you could tell he was practiced in his sympathy. Still, you knew that having him around to just tell your woes to was already helping you. At least you felt validated in being wrecked by the fall that was already hundreds of years in the making.

You could tell that Solomon noticed the way your eyebrows furrowed, but you beat him to speaking. “How did you do this on your own? This is terrible. I feel terrible.”

Eyes wide, and stared at you for a moment. Clearly, he hadn’t been expecting you to turn the conversation on him. Even if he was much more open with you now than he’d ever been, even if he was fine with showing you how he felt...now wasn’t the time to let you in on the vulnerabilities of being immortal and alone.

“That...it doesn’t matter now, does it? We’ve got each other now. You’ve got me.” He held his arm out again, offering you to lean back into him. You took the invitation, burying the bottom half of your face back in the pillow. “When you’re feeling a little better, I can make you breakfast in a few hours.”

He could feel you cringe. Was he seriously going to make you supervise your own breakfast when you were this upset? But he knew what he was doing, evident by his gentle chuckle and the feather-light kiss he placed on the crown of your head. “Ah, I misspoke. I can get you breakfast.”

“You’re going to leave me like this?” To prove your point, you did your best to snuggle in closer.

“Only if you’re ready for me to.”

“...you might have to make it lunch, then.”

His thumb went back to gentle stroking your arm, soothing enough to convince you to even your breaths. You didn’t want to sob uncontrollably, but the longer you sat and stewed over your grief, the closer you felt yourself inch to that edge. But Solomon was right. You had him here, and he had been there all the other times. He would be there again, should you need him - and you swore you’d be there for him, too.

Maybe you would be okay after all.

[ray-jaykub]

The baby turtles hc

I've got like 5 oneshot requests and specific headcannons in my inbox but im sick rn and have a party to go to this weeknd and i hope it passes. Anways, here are my children (gonna do Mikey's kid at some point)

(Jai)lyn and Riley 14:

• For the longest time they couldn't sleep in different beds so you only needed the one

•Jailyn has the worst nightmares, they aren't often but when they happen he wakes up screaming and needs Leo to talk to him

•Riley is so quite he can startle Master Splinter without even trying and now Pop's running joke is getting him a bell

•Jailyn is the troublemaker of the two so anytime Riley does cause trouble he gets Jailyn in trouble (ah siblings)

•Which also means Leo has constantly called them the wrong name. Can have an entire conversation with Jailyn thinking it's Riley till he remembers He's mute and wouldn't be responding

•Will not eat dad's cooking, screw that they would rather starve

•Jailyn goes by jai or jai bird with his cousins

•Riley cried during the titanic and claims it to be his favourite of all time despite how freaking long that movie is

•Jai does not care about being a ninja, he'll train with everybody but like he just doesn't wanna make it his life and that's hard for leo to accept sometimes

•they both hate shots and both have a fear of their dad not coming back from patrol one day or something happening to their family

•Riley doesn't seem it but he's really stubborn like his dad and once his mind is set it's hard to be swayed, definitley more strong willed and serious then his brother

(Mal)ikai 15, (Ana)stasia 7, and (Ric)hard 6:

•Ric is the youngest and the crybaby, he has cried at least once a day. Very emotional like his dad and a Mama's boy

•Ana asks for a horse every year and each time all she gets is a toy pony (the collection keeps getting bigger please have a talk with Raph or she'll actually end up with one)

•Mal is like going through an edgy/emo boy phase and does butt heads with Ana often because she's the polar opposite and all cheerey and full of rainbows and wants matching pajama sets with him

•Mal definitley broods and tries to act like some version of batman and his personal journal is angsty even though he's got like a loving home and decent life(like some other person 👀)

•Ana wishes she has hair but she's a turtle and wigs are itchy :/

•Ric loves winnie the pooh and reads whatever book he can get his hands on now that he has started reading. Has started a mini library of kids magazines and children books

•If it were up to him Mal would live off Easy Mac cups and caprisuns but sadly if he wants to be a ninja he needs a healthy diet

•Ana and Ric have a closer bond and share a space together. Ana is alot nicer on Ric and can handle his emotions

•Ana has a trademark look anytime she wants her dad to do something and even though Raph knows it's a scam he still falls for it

•Mal wishes he could drive and get a learners permit and go to prom and do all the stuff regular teenagers do bc dangit >:0

Caroline 13:

•Currently going through her nightcore and Sonic the hedgehog phase (Even though it isn't she will always love it)

•Has situational anxiety and has alot of trouble with attacks and breathing. Anytime it flares up Donnie is there and helping

•Even though she's like a super dork with anxiety and anime merch she definitley broods with Mal. Such as listening to sad anime outros and looking off in the distance

•Has a crush on legolas and Draco malfoy

•Was really scared to use the bo staff at first but she's pretty swift with it

•Has daily talks with her Pops Master Splinter, they are both highly intellectual so it makes great coversation

•Was the baby that others claimed "was like talking to a little adult" donnie is proud

•He's like proud of anything she does, wants her to experience the best and hates that her anxiety can be a crutch for that sometimes

•Sleeps with her headphones on and it has caused so many pairs to be broken or beyond repair, badly wants beats

•Reads wattpad fanfiction don't even try to pry that from my hands

•Has led lights just like her dad

[sophfandoms53]

If you don't mind: what's your opinion on Leonardo from tmnt? :3

Absolutely love him.

Leo is actually my second favorite turtle (Mikey being the first, I think that’s been made clear lmao) regardless of the series, whether it’s 2003, 2012 or Rise, Leo has always been a well written and interesting character.

I’ve joked around in the past about how 2012 shoved Leo and his character arc in our faces, but in reality I thoroughly enjoyed Leo’s arc in 2012 and it’s the easiest one to decipher as it’s actually very well written.

I could get into a deeper discussion about how 2012 dealt with Mikey, Raph and Donnie’s arc when compared to Leo’s but that would make this response even longer and I might keep that for another time, however I will briefly summarize that Raph and Donnie’s arcs suffered severely in the main 4 seasons and were basically brushed aside in season 5, minus that one episode Donnie had in the Kavaxas arc, while Mikey’s feeling inadequate to his brothers arc swiftly concluded in different ways after Into Dimension X and The Croaking and the writers started doing different things with him that better suited his character, Meet Mondo Gecko and Bat in The Belfry being big examples. All of season 5 honestly can be summed up with “Mikey is a total boss” because he just owns every single episode in that season even if he isn’t the focus, When Worlds Collide is essentially meant to be a Raph focus episode but the biggest moments in that two parter are whenever Mikey is on screen.

This is where we circle back to Leo and his arc as Mikey even takes attention away from him in the final part of the Kavaxas arc, which is an arc centered around Leo officially coming to terms with his role as the new Sensei and father figure to his family. After the Kavaxas arc, Leo’s character is finished, there’s no where else for him to grow beside minor personality tweaks which was hinted at in the Usagi arc.

In the main four seasons Leo’s arc can be split into two parts, seasons 1-2 has him dealing with the sacrifices and burden that comes with being the leader while seasons 3-4 has him accept his role as the leader and his character becomes about having trust both with himself and with his team as in these two seasons Leo tends to go off alone on a mission instead of talking with his family and it’s something that is handled very well.

One of my favorite episodes in the series is Attack of The MegaShredder specifically because it puts Leo in a place of understanding that his brothers [Mikey in this case] will always be there for him when he needs them the most and this arc comes to nice closed in Broken Foot where he constantly tells Karai that they need his brothers if they want to continue doing what they’re doing.

This type of characterization for Leo happened in the 2003 series as well. Most notably after the battle in the season 3 finale with Shredder that leaves the entire team wounded and Leo with a massive scar on the back of his shell, Leo takes this loss extremely personally and violently to the point he loses his sense of self. He’s angry at himself for losing, for letting his brothers and his Sensei get hurt.

But what 2003 did was not have Leo realize he was angry with himself and made it appear to be he was angry with his brother’s for not getting the job done. Even yelling at them for treating their missions against the foot as a game. This even extends to how Leo trained in season 4, he did to the point he tired himself and his brother’s out because he felt what he and his brother’s knew wasn’t good enough.

In the episode Grudge Match it opens up with Leo aggressively training his brother’s on a rooftop and he only stops his training when Splinter calls him out about it saying they need to discuss his attitude and take on training soon until they notice Mikey has been slacking off training recently. So Leo offers to train Mikey for his upcoming Battle Nexus rematch as Mikey has become incredibly cocky over his win and Leo knowing his brother needs to be taken down a peg, gives us this amazing scene of dialogue between the two,

“I brought you up here to clear your mind, Mikey. Focus on what's important.”

“Like going home?”

“No, like pushing yourself beyond your limits to a place where there are no limits; to be so focused, so ready that nothing and no one will ever catch you off guard again.”

“Um, we still talkin' about me here?”

“In this life, we only have each other. If one of us goes down, we all go down, so focus.”

The subtext is obvious, after the fight with Shredder, this is clearly how Leo takes on other fights in season 4 and why he becomes so frustrated with his brother’s constant dismissal of it. Despite this piece of advice giving Mikey what he needed to win the match fairly, it still doesn’t change the fact this is a very dangerous way to think and Leo being the leader to think this way makes it more glaring on how far Leo has lost himself in this state of self hatred.

Another interesting thing to note is how whenever Donnie and Raph complain about Leo’s attitude, it’s Mikey who comes to his eldest brother’s defense and understands the burden Leo has his shoulders, and this wasn’t done by accident.

It is only after Leo harms Splinter during training does he come to realize how bad this violent attitude of his is affecting everyone around him. Leo is then sent off on a 2 month journey of self-reflection in Japan where Yoshi’s old masters helps him realize that Leo has become his own monster, or as the show does it, he has become his own Shredder.

Leo comes to the realization that he has stop blaming himself for what happened and move forward, he’s been holding onto the past for too long to the point he became a barrel of anger and self-destruction and he had to be the one to fix it. He had to destroy his own demons, himself. And this arc concludes very well.

Now in Rise it’s a little bit difficult to analyze the characters as there isn’t much development, not a bad thing at all, but Rise has gone out of its way to give each of the brother’s depth and it’s very interesting.

Because Rise doesn’t have Leo as the leader one can be mistaken that this Leo wouldn’t have the same struggles or insecurities as his other incarnations but this has proven to be false as Rise Leo still has the same insecurity of his brother’s not respecting him as part of the team or just seeing him as a screwup. Leo has shown he needs a reassurance he’s doing the right thing and that his brother’s look at him in a positive light.

A lot of people have a fundamental misunderstanding of Leo’s role as the leader and just look at it as that instead of realizing how much pressure and stress Leo puts on himself regardless because he wants to be the very best him that he can be.

Lmao this got incredibly long, apologies for ranting.

This was a very long convoluted way of me saying, I love Leo a lot and his character is very very 3-dimensional and needs more appreciation than just “he’s only the leader”.

[buttercup-of-kaer-morhen]

Of Thorns and Buttercups

~Ch 1/?~ (Beauty and the Beast AU, Kiiiinda. It has definite elements of the original story cause I’m a sap for Fairytale AUs. I hope you enjoy. Also shout out to @sophiakuso1 for being my beta.) Warnings: Brief mention of violence, blood, and there’s a death scene... so there’s that, also, non-sentient animated furniture violence? I don’t know if that will bother anyone but they will kinda act like living things when they show up in the story, so...  Primary Tags: Beast! Geralt, Belle! Jaskier, Memory Alteration Via Curse, It really only affects Jaskier right now Also on AO3!

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The roads down from the mountain had been quiet aside from the sounds of the woods and its inhabitants, although those too seemed muted and subdued now. The witcher had thought that once he was left alone, his life would just go back to the way it was before. That everything up until then wouldn’t make a difference, he’d walk the path alone and he’d be fine...But the absence of the bard hung heavily around him, like an albatross hanging from his neck. He finally had the blissful peace and quiet he had longed for but it wasn’t as blissful as he thought it would be. It only left him uneasy, looking over his shoulder and straining to hear even the softest of humming or the strum of a lute. More than just the noise that no longer followed him, the comforting warm presence of Jaskier was no longer at his side. And for the first time in his long life of making mistakes, he couldn’t push away the deep feeling of regret that tailed him like a hungry hound.

At first, during his descent down the mountain, Geralt had a moment of realization that his-- the bard could have easily gotten hurt--or worse, killed--heading down on his own without the witcher’s protection. He watched and listened for any indication that Jaskier had been injured as he walked on. As time went by, the wolf resigned himself to the fact that Jaskier was long gone, whether that meant alive or dead he did not know. It left a soft taste in his mouth and the feeling of bile in the back of his throat. The night he reached the base and set up camp, he briefly felt the urge to run and track down his lost friend, wherever he may be, but he held fast and let the urge pass. It was better this way. Jaskier deserved better. At least better than a wolf that only knew how to bite the kind hand he extended. If the bard wasn’t at his side then he was safer as well. No longer being put in danger by the monsters and battles that followed Geralt no matter where he went. He was undoubtedly happier too. He would find someone who knew how to actually give a compliment or a proper critique of his songs. It had to be true because that was the only thought that kept the witcher content as he laid awake through the evening. Geralt didn’t know why his parting with Jaskier haunted him more than his one with Yennafer but it did. Maybe because their bond wasn’t forged mostly by magic. Maybe it was because the bard seemed like such a permanent fixture in his life now. He pondered it until dawn but when the sun rose, he still had not found an answer. The following morning, he set off on the path in search of his next contract. He had no place specific in mind so he pulled Roach in the direction of the sea and let the siren call of it pull him towards his next job.

After a few weeks of traveling, he came upon a small town not too far off from the ocean that seemingly fell on hard times, although most villages seemed to have suffered the same fate nowadays. He was met with suspicion and distrust, not that he was unused to it, but this town in particular felt very quiet and reserved for it’s immodest size. People lurked in their homes instead of out on the streets or in their gardens and shuttered their windows and barred their doors as he passed. He could tell that poverty plagued the area and the sour smell of starvation was practically suffocating. He had made to go to the inn to check if there were any contracts posted, doubtful although something was so obviously wrong here, but a movement caught his attention. Looking in the subject that caught his eye, he spotted an elderly hag waving for him to follow before promptly disappearing down an alley. Wary of the situation, Geralt hesitantly followed with his hand ready at his sword. The woman kept ahead, only glancing back occasionally to make sure he followed, as she led him to a hut at the edge of the town. The door was left open behind her in invitation for him to follow but caution had him pausing just outside the hovel.

“Scared Witcher?” The bemused voice of the hag called out when he neglected to follow.

He grunted in response and crossed the threshold. Staying near the door, he crossed his arms as he waited to hear what the woman had to say.

“Not very talkative I see.” She spoke again as she settled atop an old stool in front of a decrepit hearth. He hummed with a frown, which only seemed to amuse her more before she continued on. “No work lies in the town for you Witcher, nor does a warm welcome. Poverty has cast a dark shadow on the folk of this place and they do not take kindly to strangers nor are they willing to pay them since they already have so little to spare. But I have a contract for you, which I am willing to pay greatly for if you are able to complete it fully.”

Geralt mulled over the words, doubtful of her promises due to her current state but curiosity won. He wondered what kind of job demanded such a steep price and so he nodded for her to continue. The hag grinned softly, a deep sadness in her eyes shown as she spoke. “There is a keep hidden deep in the forest. Within lies a curse that stretches out and brings ruin to the village. None can get close though, for a beast lurks in the stone halls of the old ruin. My magic has gone and been taken from me when the calamity hit. I was left with nothing but to grow old in this town, being the only one to remember the curse and the keep’s existence. If you can end the curse, I will be able to reward you with whatever you may desire once I have my magic back.”

Geralt thought over the offer but something was off. There was something still missing from her story. “If the misfortune only reaches the town, why not just leave? It wouldn’t have a hold over you then.”

“Ah yes… Sadly I must remain because all those who were in the town at the time of the curse are now held prisoner by it. We cannot escape even if we wanted to. Usually this place is forgotten and hidden by the spell from travelers but it seems you may have been destined to come here.” She clarified with a cheeky smile, the glint in her eye making him uncomfortable.

“What is the creature? It’s type?” He asked brusquely, wanting more details then the scraps she gave before he headed out. If he could, he would like to prepare for a potential battle or at the very least know what to expect when he arrived.

“None like any that you have heard of to be sure.” She responded lightly before awaiting his decision quietly.

A part of him told him to leave and not look back but a very small traitorous voice in the back of his mind pointed out that this was a way to get his--the bard back, if only to make sure he hadn’t died on the mountain. So he found himself nodding in acceptance and being directed on how to get to the keep.

As he made his way deeper into the forest, the sun slowly disappeared behind the thicket of trees, which seemed magical in nature due to the fact that the leaves on the trees wane more and more as though winter was setting in. He also had to be mindful of the underbrush for Roach’s sake. The nearer they drew, the more bramble bushes and winding tangles of thorny vines appeared. By the time he exited the forest onto the grounds of the keep, the air had chilled and snow fell blanketing the world in silence. No sound of birds or foraging animals penetrated the suffocating silence. “Yeah, definitely cursed…” He huffed quietly to Roach.

The witcher slowly made his way through the gardens which, although covered in thick blankets of snow, had hundreds of roses blooming all around. He found a small stable to shelter Roach in while he dealt with whatever beast laid in the keep and the curse. Making his way through the hold proved easy, too easy. No traps or surprises waited around every corner. That made him worry all the more though. If the source of the magic that imprisoned the town was here unguarded, then that meant whoever cast it was certain their beast could dispose of any threat that may come. Another peculiar fact that Geralt took notice of was that there were no signs of previous battles in the halls. Only beautifully crafted and luxurious objects fit for royalty with all their gilding and detail lay about along with vines of roses which crept through the cracks, taking home amongst the decorative stone carvings. He ignored the warm well lit rooms, obvious traps with their enticing music and delicious smelling foods. Instead, he made his way further in. When it came to a divide in the two wings, he went to the west which lay in disrepair compared to the other. The welcoming cheer disappeared as he passed broken furniture and ripped portraits. Even in all the wreckage, there was still no sign of blood, and dust invaded his senses, keeping him from scenting out what creature may be lurking. Down the vast walkways, staircases, and passages, all the rooms were worn and barely accessible. With every passing second, Geralt’s anticipation grew, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he expected an attack and yet still none came.

The final room he came to seemed to be the master bedroom which he cautiously crept into. The bed was a mass of tatters and heaps of cloth, not that unlike a nest, and the rest of the furniture had been reduced to splintered piles of wood and metal. The object that caught his eye though was a faintly glowing bell dome that looked frosted over in ice as it sat on a small lone table in front of the windows. It felt like he was being pulled towards it. That was it, it had to be, the source of this curse. A creeping anxiety filled him as he crept closer to the object. This was all too easy and still no sign of the monster. When he was right in front of the delicate glass, he paused briefly to take in the wilted rose, if you could call it that, that only had a singular petal still attached to the stem. A sense of loss and mourning filled him as he reached out.

Before his hand could touch the glass however, a growl snapped him back to the room around him. He turned quickly, unsheathing his sword and striking the creature that had leapt at him from its hiding place near the bed. His sword thrust with a meaty thunk into the center of the monster’s chest. Decades of hunting and swiftly taking down monsters meant his aim was true and there was no saving the beast now. It was only as the beast crumpled to the floor did Geralt notice it’s claws had been retracted, showing it had had no real intention to harm. If it had wanted to, it could have easily snuck up on him while he was enthralled by the dome and gotten in at least one good hit. “Fuck…” He swore under his breath, realizing his mistake and stooping low to get a better look at the creature. It’s body was like that of a lion but it had swirling horns that curled back over it’s mane and it’s pelt was as black as the charcoal left from a forest fire. It struggled to turn onto it’s back, wheezing wetly, until Geralt took pity on it and helped. Lichen grew in patches along the horns and across its face and pelt, one eye almost completely covered. It blinked blearily up at him as it coughed up the blood that was starting to pool in it’s lungs. He didn’t know what to do, the beast did not seem crazed or ferocious. When he looked it in the eye, all that showed was mournful regret.

The creature breathed deeply to collect itself before it opened it’s jaws and the voice of a man came out. “I am finally free-- ” It paused to cough before continuing. “You have saved… me from my torment--” Another coughing fit came and went. “But I fear the curse is yet undone… You--” The creature’s breath stuttered and a large claw fisted in Geralt’s shirt, pulling him down so he could hear it’s final whisper. “--You will be the making of your own curse… break it before the last petal falls.” As it’s voice petters out, the beast goes limp as it’s life falls away.

Geralt barely had time to process the words before a burning in his chest bloomed and rapidly made its way out to his limbs. He felt like he was burning alive just before his vision went black. When he came to, he felt heavy. Heavier than normal and his body ached as though he had just burned through one of his potions. He slowly ambled to his feet, feeling his armor shift in odd ways but the heavy weight of his medallion was missing. Before he could truly go into a frenzy searching for the silver piece, the small table caught his eyes. Instead of the frosted bell glass, a bird cage now stood in its place, the frost mingling with the silver that made up the twisting and curving bars that reminded him of the twisted thorn vines from the forest. As he stepped closer he saw the wilted flower was no more, instead replaced by a small bouquet of… Buttercups? Where the door of the cage should have been, the shape and design of his medallion sat. Upon seeing this, the witcher felt something heavy lower in his chest. He scrambled for any kind of reflective surface, noting his hands were now large white furred claws, thankfully still with opposable thumbs. Grabbing a shard of mirror from beside the bed, Geralt stared at the monster who looked back. The large yellow eye shown out from the thick white fur, dark horns curved back over his head, and large sharp teeth shown through when he grimaced. The mirror slipped from his hands as he stumbled and sat down heavily on the bed frame which groaned in response. He thought over the beast’s last words as the cold crept in around him.

The anguished howl echoed throughout the seemingly enchanted woods. All the animals quieted in fear while a young man hastened in the direction of the cry. The curiosity called out to him and drew him closer to a castle he had not noticed before. He needed shelter for the night from the sudden cold storm that had brewed and the blue and yellow flowers nestled in the snowy gardens were enchanting. He wondered what he would find inside as he came upon the darkened doors as night settled in around him. The snow now fell steadily and he wondered what destiny had in store for him.

[elmidol]

Slayer of Monsters (NSFW)

Three Blind Tooke Part Three Death is an Art

Read on AO3

Warnings: death, sex, oral, lightsaber sex, multiple orgasm

Three Blind Tooke 

 Part Three: Death is an Art

 Chapter Fifty-Four: Slayer of Monsters

 Haunted by this gift of hate,

From slayer to monster I may become;

But know now that this is fate,

I will find and slay you one by one.

 Time during a war had a funny way of either flying past or dragging on. The first night cycle felt as though it lasted an eternity. You had woken numerous times covered in sweat from nightmares. On each of these occasions there was disorientation. The walls were in the wrong place. The chair was unfamiliar, these sheets too soft. As memory resurfaced, a numbness would creep forth. Silence clung to the small space of your quarters, although this was intermittently broken by the air vents or else the sounds of footsteps on the other side of your door. When it was the latter, you tended to hold your breath and wait for them to pass. Once, the footsteps had paused. You waited for someone to steal inside and try to take your life. No one did. Slipping back into a state of unconsciousness, the process would begin anew.

 The second cycle and its night transpired more quickly. Urvno visited you to draw blood and check your vitals. You endured his examination without a word. There was a kindness to his mannerisms that you remembered from before. He had somehow grown to care for you. You imagined that your absence from his life for that stretch of time you were with the Resistance had influenced his feelings. Absence made the heart grow fonder; not that he loved you. Surely not.

 Four cycles went by during which time you did not see hide nor hair of Kylo Ren. The guard posted outside your door never once entered. The amulet remained in your drawer. As for meals, those were delivered to you by droid. The majority of them were ration bars and water, which for some reason gave you a sense of comfort. These were more in line with what you had consumed during your time with the Resistance. It offered you a sense of normalcy that had not existed when you had been a captive of the First Order. You did not ask to see the Supreme Leader until the night of that fourth cycle. He came within the hour, at which point your dinner was delivered.

 The lights in the room were on the dimmest setting. He raised the brightness one level, which allowed you to see his eyes. They were two different colors. The right was their normal brown, and the left retained that amber hue. Both of them were dull. You squinted to better inspect them. Observed him tilt his head to the side and narrow his gaze in return.

 “How’s your sight?”

 “That’s not why you called me here.” It was not, this was true. It did not mean that you had no desire to hear his answer. You held your tongue until he humored you. “It wavers. Sometimes there are only shadows.”

 He did not sound angered by this fact, nor saddened. Kylo had accepted the possibility that he would again lose his vision, and how quickly he had done so made you question his motivations behind searching for a means of restoring it. He had mentioned that the war had more layers than you were aware of. Now that you had witnessed the First Order’s new ships, you knew this to be true. They would not have hidden such a powerful weapon when it could crush the remnants of the Resistance otherwise. The Order of Ren would have made it a priority to steal these weapons away from the First Order when they first splintered away.

 You picked up the tray of food that the droid had brought in then watched the droid leave while setting the tray on the edge of the bed next to you. Your hand went to the piece of bread that was on the tray. It was fresh, warm to the touch. You cupped it, set it against your lips without opening your mouth to take a bite. By doing this you were able to inhale its scent. Baked bread, not some ration. You looked at Kylo, well aware that this was his doing. It had you on your guard, waiting for the news that Luke Skywalker had passed away.

 “He is one with the Force now,” he said, reading you as well as he ever had. “There is no peace.”

 It sounded like something a Sith would say. It equally sounded like something someone who no longer believed in hope might say. You could understand the words, the feeling, on a visceral level. Dropping your hand, you stared at the bread and listened to the silence of the room. It was quickly interrupted by his sigh. One of his gloved hands enveloped yours, urging your limb upwards until you obeyed the nonverbal command that you eat. You nibbled the very edge of the bread. It was not dry, yet still you found yourself thirsty. You reached for the bottle that was on the tray and used your teeth to unscrew its lid. The lid was connected to the bottle by a short chain. When you released it from your mouth, it tapped against the side of the bottle. You took a drink then a second before you ate a proper bite of the bread.

 While you chewed, you extended your arm to set the food in front of Kylo’s face. He pulled back for half a second before allowing you to place it at his mouth. A moment of trust between the two of you. An acceptance of the change in your relationship. You were at a point where you could sit beside him and not feel so small. You felt that he viewed you as more of an equal. You felt like his wife.

 Once upon a time you had grabbed Hux’s hand to remain away from Kylo Ren. What a fool you had been, you thought.

 “You wish to make the recording for your mother.” You nodded in response to his question. It had taken you much consideration to decide what it was that you were going to say to her. First and foremost you wanted your mother to know that you loved her and that you understood if she was angry that you had left.

 Kylo withdrew a recording device from a pouch attached to his belt. You set aside the bread, took another drink, and started the recording. The words slipped more easily from you than you had believed they would. Part of this was due to not having to face her. If this had been some face to face transmission, you would have broken down. Would have stared at the ground while you spoke, while she spoke. As it was, you focused on saying what you could. There were no lies. You did not apologize for leaving, not once. That would be a lie, you had realized a day before. You felt no regret for placing yourself in a position to avenge the planet of your birth and all those who had died as a result of Phasma’s demise.

 When you had said all that you had wanted to, you reached forward and shut down the device. Kylo pocketed it again, but did not leave your quarters. “Our spies within the First Order have discovered the suppliers of the ysalamir.” His words caught you off guard. You had not known that the Order of Ren had even a single spy in such a position. Then again, it made perfect sense. On the other hand, it brought to light that the First Order might have a spy in the Order of Ren. “Hux has more at his disposal. That will not stop you.” Kylo gestured towards the tray, specifically the protein thereupon, with a hand. “Your body, on the other hand…”

 It did not bother you that he mentioned the struggles you faced on a daily basis with your weakened body. You had to take better care of yourself, as you had been doing these past four days. More than that.

 “Am I allowed to use the training area?”

 The Supreme Leader of the Order of Ren considered the request before he offered a reply. “In time. Placing a weapon in your hand again involves a level of trust that you are slowly earning. Those that would be present would not trust you. One move, they would take your life.” He did not have to explicitly state that he was speaking of the Knights of Ren for you to know their identity. You exhaled through your nose, shaking your head in frustration over these admittedly logical precautions that were being taken.

 You consumed the remainder of your meal, drained the bottle of water, and went into the refresher for a stretch of five minutes. During this time you opened the drawer to check that the amulet remained. In spare moments, you still worked through various methods of destroying it. At the first chance you had with a weapon, you intended to see what damage you could do. The tray and Kylo Ren were also where you had left them. You paused in the doorway that connected the two rooms and met the man’s stare.

 There was an unspoken understanding between the two of you that led you towards him. Kylo rose to his feet. He placed his hand in the correct position for the dance that had been shared more than once in the past. The back of your hand met his. As you began to move in the first steps of the dance, you listened to him speak of Finn and Rey. Mentions of the stormtroopers that had deserted the Order of Ren on the stolen transport made you falter. They were all welcome to return. His words in regards to what he hoped to achieve, his ideologies, were no longer some mirror reflection of the First Order. Where once you had heard bitterness and hatred towards Finn, now there was more than mere intrigue. There was respect. Finn had become more of a focus than Rey in some regards in that Finn had broken away from brainwashing since childhood due to his sensitivity in the Force.

 “He required no assistance from some Master or old relic.”

 It truly was amazing what some people were capable of, you marveled. Finn was one of your inspirations. That was another area that you felt guilt over, having left the man when you knew he wanted to stand together with you against the First Order. You could have trusted Finn to not hold you back. In some ways you liked to think that you would have stepped aside to allow him the chance to kill Armitage Hux if the situation allowed for it. He was one of the few that you felt this way about.

 The other individual for whom you would step aside for was the man that you were dancing with. You asked him at long last why he had sought a means for restoring his eyesight. Kylo did not answer your question immediately. He led you in another step of the dance. Next he broke away, withdrawing his hand from yours and walking behind you. You started to twist to follow him, however he used the Force to keep you there. Invisible hands walked their fingers along your thighs. Kylo’s voice was calm as he began to speak. The artifact was one that had interested him even when Snoke had been alive. Its location had only more recently been revealed. Even then it was not one he had intended to actively pursue. The sound of your laughter with Finn had changed that. It felt like a hand wrapped around your heart and squeezed at his words. This was not the Force; that remained on your legs and shifting closer and closer to the apex of your thighs. You hung your head. Panted and closed your eyes to try to gather yourself.

 He was far too skilled at unravelling you for your attempts to meet with success. Just as he was using the Force to toy with you, so too was he using it to keep you from collapsing to your knees.

 Luke Skywalker had perished and here you were with his nephew, the cause of his downfall and quicker demise, finding pleasure in the hands of a Resistance enemy. You might have laughed at that had not a moan spilled from you instead. No longer did you want to be objectified by the hands that touched you. At one point sex, for you, had been nothing more than an alternative to fighting. On rare occasions it had been a means for comfort. Sometimes it had been both. Now? You thought of the dead and remembered death, remembered dying. You wanted to feel alive. This man that had murdered so many of your allies, you wanted him to touch you and anchor you to life.

 The Force on your legs multiplied, slamming you to your knees. Your eyes snapped open and you stared at Kylo. He stepped nearer to you. His footfalls even, sluggish, dragged out motions that caused your chest to rise and fall more heavily. Your pupils dilated. Despite his wavering eyesight, he clearly saw your expression. Kylo gave a predatory grin. He lifted his hand where you could see it. Twisted his wrist, curled three fingers. The invisible pressure delved between your outer lips and toyed with the sensitive flesh therein. A plea from you, beginning for him to give you more.

 You wanted him inside of you; his body and all the power that he represented. You wanted to kill with him, kill Armitage Hux and fuck in the pooling blood that spilled from his corpse. Your mind flashed to the furnace wherein your allies had burned, where you had almost burned, as the heat within you intensified. You ran a tongue over your lips to wet them and then pleaded for Kylo again. He used his free hand to touch the front of his pants. He pawed at himself. Your thoughts flashed to the woods, to the memory of how his cock had felt in your mouth that first time. There was no resentment in that memory, simply a familiarity. You opened your mouth without him having to ask or demand or use the Force.

 A soft swear of delight left him. Kylo pushed open his clothing as he arrived in front of you. You drank in the sight of his erection, the thickness making you run your tongue along the roof of your mouth. You slipped out your tongue, reaching for the head of his cock with it. He was so close, but far away enough that you could not make contact. Kylo wrapped his hand around his cock and began to pump himself at a leisurely pace. “You can’t stop looking at it.” You nodded in admission. “Would you like it?”

 “Please.” Another stroke, his wrist twisting and the leather glove sliding up and down his length. “I want you and all the power you’re offering. I want… I want to touch you.”

 Those in the Resistance would have looked at you with the disgust you had seen in their gazes after you had returned from being the First Order’s prisoner. It was not that you had stopped being Resistance; they had started to pull away, with the exception of the individuals you would never betray. It did not begrudge you to beg for him as you were. The more time that you spent in the Order of Ren, isolated though you had been, the more you had come to terms with the fact that you had been turned into a random, meaningless pawn by returning to the Resistance. Everything that Kylo Ren had told you would happen had. No more.

 “I need you…” He was a part of you. The worst part. The best part. You tilted back your head as Kylo waggled those three fingers back and forth, pleasuring you with the Force. It undulated against your entrance then wormed up towards your clitoris. Your vaginal walls gripped at the emptiness between your legs. “Kylo.” You shuddered, your jaw falling slack as he repeated the gesture, this time more quickly. It felt rougher, more exact.

 Kylo shifted forward, thrusting himself into your open mouth and grabbing hold of the back of your head with the hand that was now free. You gagged initially as his cock hit the back of your throat, and then you moaned while pressing upwards with your tongue to better feel the sensitive underside of his erection. The pressure between your legs, the invisible one at least, faded away. Kylo placed his hands on either side of your head and began to thrust in and out of your mouth. Saliva dribbled past your lips with each thrust. You whimpered as best you could as his cock stretched your jaw. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, started to fall down your cheeks. You tried breathing through your nose only to inhale his smell with each and every roll of his hips.

 The next thing you knew, you were shoved backwards, your head almost hitting the floor. His hands slipped underneath your head before that could happen. He was faster than you remembered him being. Another benefit of the amulet? You stared with wide eyes into his. Kylo clawed at your bottoms, forcing them down your hips and out of his way. His legs spread between your thighs until you were at the angle that he wanted. Using one hand to keep his balance, Kylo looked down at your nakedness and started to fuck into his hand. You shyly slid one of your hands down your stomach, three fingers finding your clitoris. The hungry look in his eyes intensified, and he bared his teeth. So feral, you thought.

 Your fingers slipped down again until they were coated in your juices, which you noisily dragged up and used to toy with your clit. “This is what you do to me,” you whispered, your voice shaking as you spoke though you wished it hadn’t. He had something similar to you what felt like ages ago; at the time, you had hated the words. Kylo did not share that disgust. On the contrary, it made him swear again then groan as he ejaculated. His cum spilled on your cunt and stomach. You kept your fingers moving until you came as well.

 Kylo unclipped the lightsaber hilt from his belt. You chewed on your bottom lip when he started to gently work it into you. It was thick, filling you beyond what you would have sworn your limits were if it weren’t for the fact that you had taken the lightsaber before. You had taken his fist before. Your legs were shaking. Your breaths coming out in quick pants that were punctuated by nonsensical noises and his name. Kylo started to withdraw it, pushed it into you again. You arched your back, toes scrambling against the floor. It did not hurt, but it did not feel good either. Not until he rotated it in unison with stroking your clit.

 “Oh!” You broke off into a chant of his name. The various edges of the lightsaber hilt did not cut into you. They stroked your inner walls, every sensitive surface. The hard metal casing. The coated wire.

 “Cum for me again,” Kylo said softly, deeply. “Cum for me, and we will destroy the amulet together.” He needn’t have spoken at all. His actions were enough to bring you over the edge. It was his words, however, that did have you screaming as you came for a second time.

 Your lungs were burning as you worked to recover. You greedily gulped at air, swallowed, blinked, tried to get the room to stop spinning. The darkness played at the edges of your vision. You shot out a fumbling hand to try to touch something, anything at all. Smooth, cool leather wrapped around your searching limb. You entwined your fingers with his.

 “Is it where you left it?” You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak just yet because you were only then remembering how to properly breathe. Kylo tugged his hand out of yours. You placed both of your hands over your heart, thumbs toying with the tattoos as they were wont to do. It was only when Kylo Ren returned with the amulet in his grasp that you recovered enough to sit up. You tugged your clothes back on, never once taking your eyes off of the Sith artifact.

 Kylo extended the hand that held the lightsaber. You reached out with both of yours to take the weapon that had once been a source of nightmares. Now you wielded it with a certainty that it would not be used against you, not by him. Kylo’s eyes were more brown now, which you noticed once the lightsaber was activated and red played along the room. Your gaze locked with his. He tossed the amulet into the air, ducking to avoid the lightsaber as it arced to slam into and slice through the Sith artifact. The redness intensified, a loud, bloodcurdling scream ripping from the destroyed jewelry.

 You looked quickly at Kylo’s face. He was straightening and looking at you as well. It was now as you watched him that you appreciated the extent of Luke Skywalker’s final sacrifice. Your hero had not stopped you from joining Kylo Ren though he must have known what it meant for you. It had been his nephew that he had focused on. Keeping what remained of him as whole as possible. Those eyes would never be the same as they had been before, yet they were more brown again. They were also no longer glazed over in the least. Master Skywalker did not want his nephew blinded to what his actions did to the galaxy. The First Order would aim to enslave the entire galaxy; the Resistance was fighting to save it; and the Order of Ren was something between.

 Deactivating the lightsaber, you cradled the weapon’s hilt in both of your hands while staring down at it. “I need your power to kill him.” All those times, you’re mine tooke. Now you were. You lifted your chin. “I will not destroy the Resistance. I believe in them. I will destroy the First Order. Let me hunt those monsters, let me slay them.”

 You would devour them, and you would enjoy it.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Shanie’s Dream Fic: A Masterpost

The following is a Masterpost of all my various finished, started, and sketched out dream stories. They are listed here as the dreams originally were, not as the stories the dreams became. Listings are by Saga/Series, Story Title, and Month/Year of original dream. Also listed are the fandoms of the dreams and any specific warnings the fics might carry. For the record, this isn’t a post really for anyone on here. It’s mostly for my own records. I do have a copy on my cloud storage but I’m putting it here as well on the off chance anyone is curious. BTW: I’m putting this here so that I don’t have to list it every time. As far as the WWE dreams go. Absolutely NONE of them are Kayfabe compliant. That’s the problem with not watching the shows regularly. I don’t dream about the TV side of it often. The Zowens dream is close though. It’s sort of a hybrid. The rest? Well, all of them are some level of NKC, but some are not only non-kayfabe, they are straight up AU.  BTW2: In every single one of these stories involving me I am some manner of queer. I’m pretty sure in all but maybe one or two. I’m either wlw, ace, or both. NOT ONE of the first person dreams contains romance between me and another character. The best you get is a single platonic fake-relationship story. (That one did have a smut scene in it but it isn’t romantic.)

Anyway, list behind the cut!

ADVENTURES IN DREAMLAND Master Post

SAGA   A Family Beyond Blood

Part 1 Darkness Fallen (August 2019) I find myself trapped in a world where I died as a child. Now as a spirit I must find a way to restore the universe to it’s proper order. (Somehow my young death caused the entire universe to splinter) *McMahon Family and MCU Dream* Part 2 Death and Life on Planet Earth (August 2019)

Having saved the universe but not ourselves, I vow to do whatever it takes to return Shane to his rightful place with his family. *McMahon Family and MCU Dream*

Part 3 A World Restored to Fall (August 2019)

The universe has been reset again, and I have been returned to my proper timeline. Or have I? There’re odd happenings in a local bookshop and it’s up to me to figure out how to stop them *Original Dream Featuring IRL People*

Part 4 World War Winter (August 2019)

Nuclear Holocaust has occurred. The world is at war with the machines. As a soldier in the CAMP forces, I must leave everything I know behind and face down the android army. But, maybe there’s a familiar face or two in CAMP after all... *McMahon Family Dream* *VIOLENT*

Part 5 Of Queens and Kingdoms (August 2019)

The world is reset. AGAIN. This time, it’s me, Shane and Marissa in a new land where the middle ages and modern times are happening simultaneously and women are the dominant gender. And, somehow, I’m the bloody queen. *McMahon Family and WWE Universe Dream*

Part 6 Titans Reign (August 2019)

Having ascended to the throne and filling the royal court with WWE superstars, I must now find a way to rule over a land I barely know. Meanwhile, a sinister plot is brewing to put the patriarchy back in power. *McMahon Family and WWE Universe Dream*

SAGA That’s What Friends Are For

Part 1 Death of a Fangirl (and Birth of a Friend) (October 2019) [Only Published Story on List]

I find myself being given the chance to meet Shane. Unfortunately, my mental illness turns the dream into a nightmare and my life unravels. But don’t worry. Shane will save the day. He always does. *Shane O Mac Dream*

Part 2 With A Song In Her Heart (October 2019)

Shane has been ignoring my texts, so I hunt him down. My search finds me at a pride festival where a spontaneous song catches his attention a little too well. *Shane O Mac Dream*

Part 3 One Last Birthday to Celebrate (November 2019)

It’s Christmastime in Squirrel Hill. For some dumb reason, Shane McMahon has decided to visit me the day before his birthday. Naturally I surprise him with a present. The other surprise (getting caught in a domestic dispute) is far less pleasant. *Shane O Mac Dream* *VIOLENT*

Part 4 The Pink Rose (Not a Dream)

I survived the shooting. Waking up in a hospital, I find my mother and a room full of flowers from the WWE Superstars. But one flower, a lone pink rose, is unlabeled. Wanna take a wild guess who sent that one? *WWE Universe Story NOT Based on A Dream*

Part 5 Dreams and Demons (December 2019)

So, it seems that watching your friend nearly die in a hail of bullets isn’t the best for your mental health. At WrestleMania 37, Shane is presented with a choice. Me, or TV. Of course he chooses me, this is my dream, what other choice   would there be? *WWE Universe Dream*

[Are you starting to see why I never publish any of these. They are painfully bad self inserts and woefully self-indulgent. But they are also therapy, hence the writing]

SERIES   Trippy Shorts

Story 1 A Little Fall of Acid Rain (August 2019)

The world is ending – but only in NYC. I’m there. So are the McMahons. Destruction and danger abound. *McMahon Family Dream*

Story 2 I Know Who I Am (September 2019)

All of my favorites from TV, movies, music, and wrestling are turning up murdered. Each time, a cryptic message is left behind, written in blood. Can I figure out the connection before everyone I like is killed? *General Pop Culture Dream* *EXTREMELY VIOLENT AND DISTURBING*

Story 3 Fixed Points and Fixed Pairings [An Unfinished Symphony] (September 2019)

One night, outside the bar, I am approached by an older version of myself. She brings a time machine and a mission – go back to the attitude era and change time so Shane remains the heir apparent. But some people are just meant to be together, and others just refuse to listen – even to an angel from the future. *WWE Universe Dream*

Story 4 A Song of Summer [A Snapshot] (October 2019)

As an Agent of SHIELD, it doesn’t take a genius to see that Black Widow and Hawkeye are in love. So, through the power of music, I decide to try and hook them up. *MCU Dream*

Story 5 Journeys Beginning [A Snapshot] (December 2019)

One day at school, I find myself amid an alien incursion. But don’t worry, the Doctor is on the case. Also, Shane is involved because of course he is. *Shane O Mac and Doctor Who Dream*

Story 6 Arson, Murder, and Revolution (January 2020)

At a Hollywood LGBTQ party, I find myself caught in a plot by the Trump administration to commit mass murder. When it goes awry, revolution stirs and it’s up to me and several other progressive celebrities to light the fuse *General Pop Culture Dream* *VIOLENT*

[See, they aren’t all about Shane. Just... most of them]

STAND ALONE STORIES

Once Upon a Dream (August 2019)

I black out drunk in an alley one night and awake to find myself in a dream. It’s 1990 and I’m somehow a middle-aged black woman. Also sharing the dream is a young and angry Shane McMahon. Together we use the circumstances of the dream to fuck shit up for the NYPD. *Shane O Mac Dream* *VIOLENT*

The Many Deaths of a Tabhead (August 2019)

Five years after getting hooked on a new drug called Tabs, I find myself in an endless loop of getting murdered. The only way out is to survive. Too bad I have no memory, and everyone wants me dead *Original Story Featuring IRL People* *VIOLENT AND DISTURBING*

Champion of the Faerie Queen (December 2019)

Did you know that Marissa McMahon is the Faerie Queen and Shane is her consort? Neither did I. And, it seems, when war comes a calling, it’s up to me to save the McMahons and the country. But I’ve got superpowers now, so that helps. *McMahon Family, MCU, and DC Universe Dream*

To Earthquakes, Lovers, and Newfound Friends (May 2020)

In lovely SoCal, I’m watching a movie when an earthquake strikes. I soon find myself both blind and badly burned. The only hope I have to survive is a certain pair of lovers who just happen to be in the area for some R&R. *Zowens Dream*

Penny and Kicks vs The World (June 2020)

As a longtime WWE employee, I’ve been best friends with Shane for years. But in the fallout of Coronavirus, the public is looking for a scapegoat. Vince is more than happy to offer up my father. Now, the entire wrestling world is in turmoil and Shane and I are just trying to weather the storm. *WWE Universe Dream* *VIOLENT*

Virginia Gothic (October 2019)

In a world where my highschool sweetheart and I never broke up, we must forge a path on our own through hardship and rejection. But what is the meaning of the mysterious Jesus statue? And why is Bacchus being so damn shifty? *Original Dream Featuring IRL People*

Uzil (January 2020)

An mystical being from the horsehead nebula takes up residence in a little boy’s guinea pig. The miracles come quickly and soon they are inseparable. *Original Third Person Dream* (I wasn’t in this one)

The E-Manual (February 2020)

The end of days is drawing near. I have been chosen as a prophet of the end times by the Almighty himself. I must go out into the world armed with only scripture and a mystical magazine, trying to convert as many people as possible before time runs out. *A Mostly Original Dream* (Shane’s in the last two pages)

Seraphina and the Seven Wishes (April 2020)

The world is a video game and the McMahon’s are the Addams family. It only gets weirder from there. *McMahon Family Dream*

A Matter of Science (And Opinion) (May 2020)

I accidentally set fire to my apartment during a spell. I’m promptly arrested and call The Doctor as my defense. Sadly, the call is rerouted to Stormcage and SpongeBob SquarePants ends up on the case instead. This one is every bit as absurd as it sounds. *Doctor Who and SpongeBob SquarePants Dream*

A Revolution In This Century (Enter Me) (November 2019) The year is 2027. Climate Change has decimated the globe and revolution has reduced the Ruling Elite to food reserves. However, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and soon the new ruling poor become as ruthless as the 1% had been. In this horrible dystopia, I am a powerful government official who has taken on the McMahons as consorts for the sole purpose of saving their skins. *McMahon Family Dream* *VIOLENT, DISTURBING, AND A BIT SMUTTY*

Crystal Vision – A Dozen Birthdays (December 2019)

After showing kindness to an enchantress, I am given my hearts greatest desire – a place in Shane’s life. I am sent back in time to 2005 as a WWE Makeup tech and given 12 years in the life of my childhood heroes. But a lot happened in the WWE from 2005 to 2017 and not all of it good. How much can and do I dare change? *WWE Universe Dream* *Painfully NKC. Disturbing subject matter involved because 2007 is a thing.*

Dr. Slime and the Wondernerds (August 2019)

Three high school nerds find themselves in possession of a mysterious green substance. When it explodes during an experiment, they find they have been given superpowers. However, this is the real world and super-powered “freaks” get picked apart, not celebrated. Can the teens resist using their powers? *Original Third Person Dream* (I’m not in this one)

Planeswalking Like A Grecian (October 2019)

After death, Xena finds herself on the Astral Plane. Promptly running into Joxer, they must find a way to survive the dangers of the afterlife. But don’t worry. Gabrielle has a plan. *Xenaverse Dream* (I’m not in this one)

The Foresight Curse (June 2020)

The problem with knowing the future is that you usually don’t have the ability to change it. So when Radar O’Reilly realizes Henry’s fate the day before it happens, he has to spend the next day trying to drown out the feelings of dread and sorrow, if only for the Colonel’s sake. Funny thing though, sometimes fate takes a left turn and you get a second chance to say goodbye. *M*A*S*H Universe Dream* (I’m not in this one) Vampires, Wraiths, and Shades, Oh My! (December 2019)

In the middle ages, I am orphaned at a very young age by vampires and taken in by Vampire Hunters (AU Shane and Stephanie). Now a teenager, I fight alongside them to protect the world from the dangers of the night. *McMahon Family Vampire AU Dream*

WHEW! I’m pretty sure that’s all of them! I have so dang many dreams it’s hard to keep track of them all! Anyway, out of all of these, only a handful are finished, ONE is published (Death of a Fangirl) and a ton of them aren’t far past the sketch stage. So, this is my list. Every story on here I at least have sketched out. I doubt I will ever even bother writing many of these, but the intent is present.

[shortend]

Scooby-Doo meets the TMNT

So, I've decided my new dream is to write and direct a direct to DVD “Scooby-Doo meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie featuring the original 80's turtles. The Gang heads to New York for sightseeing and get interrupted by mutants committing crimes. While trying to apprehend the suspects they end up crossing paths with the TMNT who were also responding. They all head to the sewer lair to regroup and share their findings.

VELMA: Those aren't masks, are they?

LEONARDO: Nope.

DONATELLO: Say, she's good. Solid deductive reasoning.

RAPHAEL: What gave it away, the lack of foam rubber or the beautifully articulated mouths? Even Henson can't build 'em like this.

VELMA: I need a moment.

FRED: There will be time for that later. First we need to figure out--

Fred tries to put a comforting hand on Velma's shoulder and is startled by her abrupt scream.

VELMA: (Screaming) I need a moment!

Fred freezes, withdraws his hand, and silently mouths “Okay” as he takes a step back and gives Velma her space.

Wide angle of the whole cast. Velma turns her back to the camera and puts her hands on her hips. Everyone stands awkwardly, trying not to stare but unsure of exactly what to do. Most of them are fidgety or visibly uncomfortable with the silence. After a moment of slow breathing and some neck stretches, Velma turns back to the group.

VELMA: Okay, you were saying?

----

Fred and Leonardo both try to take charge and struggle for dominance. Master Splinter suggests they track down the Shredder, because obviously.

----

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, dudes. While the fearless leaders over there hash out the deets, what say we partake of some major deliciousness of the pizza variety.

SHAGGY: Like, if we ever say no to an offer like that, we were probably replaced by impostors as some sort of devious master plan to take over the world. Lead the way.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah!

MICHAELANGELO: You're in luck, dudes. The kitchen is totally stocked so take your pick. We got fresh pizza, frozen pizza, do-it-yourself pizza, leftover pizza, room-temperature pizza, week-old pizza, pizza we don't remember ordering, gummie pizzas, pizzas with gummies, pizza sandwiches, English muffin pizzas, breakfast pizzas, which are basically pepperoni pancakes, oooooorrrrr...

Michaelangelo gestures to the immense wall-sized pizza oven with pride.

MICHAELANGELO: We could use the patent-pending Dona-langelo Mega-Delux Hyper Oven X to bake our own giant pizza and use other pizzas as toppings! Donatello made it himself to my exact specifications. Big. And awesome.

Shaggy and Scooby look unimpressed and stand with their arms crossed in judgment.

SHAGGY: Like, okay, so I know what you were going for, Michaelangelo, but if you had this thing over here, why didn't you just lead with that? As if there were any other option. Kind of wasting our time.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah. We're burning dayright.

ALL: When we could be cooking pizza!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, Donatello! It's supervision time, bud!

DONATELLO: Just a quick warning in advance. This is a delicate prototype and it still has a few bugs to work out. At any point in the process either it or the pizzas could become sentient and try to destroy humanity, so have these books on ethics and moral philosophy at the ready just in case.

*Hi-jinks*

----

APRIL: Go get 'em, guys!

DAPHNE: Aren't you coming?

APRIL: What? Of course not! Not when there's a hot scoop like this. I gotta get to the office and fetch my cameraman.

DAPHNE: Cameraman? As in... television camera man? As in... television?

DAPHNE: Let's split up, gang. I'll go with April to the news station. You guys all go do that other thing you were talking about that’s also important. Go get 'em!

----

DAPHNE: So, is this how things usually go? The guys stumble onto something, tell you, you consult your contacts on the force, confirm your sources, alert the media, they disregard your seemingly outlandish claims despite overwhelming evidence, and then you jump into the fray at the last minute to help the turtles save the day?

APRIL: In times like this usually Vern and I, that's my cameraman, just circle the city in the helicopter or the van and wait for something to explode, or a giant monster to show up. Ooo! Or portals to other dimensions! Those are always popular. Sometimes we get footage, sometimes we don't. Then I just wait for the guys to stumble across something else. Most of the time it's the other way around.

DAPHNE: You stumble onto a case during one of your investigations, but it's too time sensitive to go to the police so you contact your vigilante allies and kick down doors together until you reach the heart of the matter?

APRIL: Wow, you make journalism sound so... empowering! Is it really like that where you're from?

DAPHNE: Not exactly. Just in movies and stuff.

APRIL: I see. I don't really have time for that sort of thing. I'm usually just going from one place to the next. I tend to do fluff pieces for events in the city. Then something goes horribly awry, I get kidnapped, and wait for the guys to rescue me.

DAPHNE: That sounds... I'm trying to think of a polite way to say this... taxing?

APRIL: It's a living. I mean, it should be. Most of the time my footage gets lost or destroyed. But every so often things go my way and I get my job back. I'm so lucky rent is cheap in New York.

DAPHNE: Oh, honey. You need a Daphne Blake career makeover.

APRIL: Oh, wow! What's that?

DAPHNE: Let's find out. Together.

APRIL: No, I mean, I think that's the Technodrome sending something from another dimension! What a story!

DAPHNE: Jeepers! I bet everyone else is already there. We’d better hurry.

APRIL: Not without my cameraman.

DAPHNE: Okay, but, what if there's something we can do to help?

APRIL: We aren't the story, we just sensationalize it. That’s how we help.

----

SHREDDER: Oh, so I see you’ve arrived to spoil my little plan. If only I had anticipated such an event after countless decades of almost ritualistic losses I've faced at your hands. If only I had something up my sleeves... like this!

A killer robot steps through the portal and falls flat on its face.

SHREDDER: Oh. Would you look at that. My backup plan didn't even get off the ground. I just. I don't even... Rocksteady, Bebop: Throw yourselves at them for a moment while I reflect on my life.

ROCKSTEADY: With pleasure.

BEBOP: Yeah. And casual disregard for our own safety and wellbeing.

KRANG:(Communicator) Shredder! Haven't you dealt with these interlopers ye-- are you crying!?

SHREDDER: No. I just... went a little overboard with the helmet polish this morning. I wanted to look nice.

KRANG:(Communicator) (Sighing) Look, I know things have been hard for you. Things haven't gone your way since... ever... but you're not alone.

SHREDDER: Really?

KRANG:(Communicator) Of course. Ever since I met you nothing has gone my way either, but there's something my dear Grandmama Krang use to tell me whenever I was feeling down. She used to say, “Krang, don't let hardship eat away at you. Amass an army. Strike out at the unsuspecting masses, and enslave them to do your bidding and worship you as a god!” I will never forget those words, and neither should you! Now suck it up, dummy, and slay my enemies! Bwaaaarb!

----

SHREDDER: You thought it was me sending those mutants in to steal random junk? Oh, that's rich.

LEONARDO: But, isn't that what you do?

RAPHAEL: That and get confused for a kitchen utensil?

SHREDDER: I've been out of mutagen for ages! Come to the Technodrome and take a look for yourselves. I've got nothing to hide. I was going up to the surface to investigate for myself where these creatures were coming from just in case someone else had discovered some mutagen that I could then steal, create an army with, and send them out to steal things I need to enact my plans for global domination. I've done nothing wrong.

VELMA: Well, if the subterranean mobile base trapped in another dimension wasn't a dead giveaway I can see why you were suspect number one now.

FRED: But if it wasn't the Shredder...?

LEONARDO: Then we need to find the real monster behind these monsters.

FRED: Nice.

LEONARDO: Thanks.

----

LEONARDO: Oh no! Scooby-Doo and Shaggy been turned into mutants!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, dudes, how 'bout instead of demolishing the city, we all chill for a sec-amundo and gorge ourselves on some toasty pizza while the brainy bunch find you a cure?

Mutant Shaggy and Mutant Scooby savagely destroy the pizza parlor.

MICHAELANGELO: Those bros... are not... my bros.

----

MICHAELANGELO: Velma! Wait up!

VELMA: What is it, Michaelangelo?

MICHAELANGELO: The others have it all wrong! Those two dudes just now were not mutants!

VELMA: How do you mean?

MICHAELANGELO: I mean, like, well they could be.

VELMA: Your contradictions aren't helpful, Michaelangelo. Either they are or they aren't.

MICHAELANGELO: What I mean is, those dudes might be mutants, but those dudes are definitely not Shaggy and Scooby-Doo as mutants.

VELMA: Jinkies! Now I'm intrigued. Go on.

MICHAELANGELO: It was something they said earlier.

SHAGGY:(Flashback) Like, if we ever say no to an offer like that, we were probably replaced by impostors as some sort of devious master plan to take over the world.

MICHAELANGELO: But when I offered them some delicious slice-age, they totally did a number on the pizza parlor!

VELMA: That...

Velma takes off her glasses and rubs at her eyes. She has had a long day of dealing with mutants and inter-dimensional travel.

VELMA: That's not typically something I would consider hard evidence, but you're also not wrong. Even as terrifying mutants hellbent on the destruction of mankind, Scooby and Shaggy would've made sure they had scavenged the restaurant before destroying it.

----

That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I have actual work to do.

----

BONUS

IRMA: Do you have new friends? Are any of them cute? Are they single? Never mind. Answer the first two. I can take care of the rest.

APRIL: Not now, Irma.

DAPHNE: Is she okay?

APRIL: She’s always been that way. C’mon! We have work to do.

DAPHNE: Okay. (Shouting down the hall to Irma) Bye! Get help! I’m worried about you!

[thedcdunce]

Katana

“I am merely considering the difference between brandishing a weapon... and being one.” - Katana

Real Name: Tatsu Yamashiro

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 2″

Weight: 96 lbs (44 kg)

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Black

Abilities:

Martial Arts

Swordsmanship

Equipment:

Soultaker Sword

Base of Operations: Gotham City

Universe:

Earth-One

New Earth

Marital Status: Widowed (Maseo Yamashiro; husband)

Citizenship: Japanese

First Appearance: Brave and the Bold #200 (July, 1983)

Abilities

Martial Arts: Training in various Japanese-styled martial arts from an early age, Yamashiro is a master martial artist. Able to combat multiple enemies, fight metahumans, and adapt to situations Tatsu has been using her martial arts for years.

Swordsmanship: Training under various samurai sensei, Yamashiro is able to use the fabled sword "Soultaker" for justice and adventures despite metahuman odds. She is most proficient with katanas.

Equipment

Soultaker Sword: The Soultaker, along with its non-powered twin, was forged in the 14th century by Muramasa, whose swords were said to be cursed and make those who were evil commit evil acts. It sometimes takes the souls of those it kills, storing them inside the sword, where they can engage in limited communication with whoever wields it. These souls can be reincarnated by the means of a sacred ritual, under which they serve their summoner, even if it is against their will.

Origin

Tatsu Yamashiro, alias Katana was an average Japanese girl, save for her proficiency in the martial arts. Two brothers, Maseo and Takeo Yamashiro, both proclaimed their love for her. While she liked both, she chose Maseo. This angered Takeo, who refused to attend the couple's wedding. By this time, he had joined the Yakuza and as a result, his family disowned him.

After the deaths of Tatsu's parents, she and Maseo started a family of their own, and she gave birth to twins, Yuki and Reiko. Meanwhile, Takeo rose in rank of the Yakuza, and one of his exotic tastes included ancient weapons. He was presented with a pair of matched swords by General Karnz, one of which Takeo favored due to its mystical properties, which would come to be known as the Soultaker Sword.

One night, Takeo took both swords to the Yamashiro residence to slay his brother with the sword. He quickly struck Maseo down, but Katana took Soultaker from him. In the course of the fight, Takeo accidentally started a fire, and Tatsu's family died.

With Soultaker in her possession, Tatsu began training as a samurai under a master called Tadashi. After much time she graduated from his tutorship and left for America where she intended to use her talents to fight for justice. She took the codename Katana after the sword that she wielded.

Outsiders

Eventually Tatsu journeyed to Markovia, a small Baltic state, where she had tracked down Karnz, and she was successful in killing him. After the fight, she encountered a young girl who was named Halo. The two joined up to rescue Batman, who got captured by Baron Bedlam. Katana and Halo worked together to free Batman and later, all of them joined the Markovian war to defeat Baron Bedlam. Like this, Katana and Halo became founding members of the team called the Outsiders, alongside Black Lightning, Geo-Force and Metamorpho.

The team managed to end the Baron's tyranny in Markovia and moved to Gotham City, where they set up their headquarters in the underground base of operations of the Wayne Foundation building. Tatsu became Halo's guardian and the two moved into the penthouse of the same place. During one of their first missions, the Outsiders confronted the Cryonic Man and Katana was kidnapped by the villain, who wanted to remove all her organs. Thanks to the rest of the team. Katana was rescued and the villain was stopped.

At the same time, Takeo was still at large and had followed Tatsu to Gotham City. Secretly he switched swords with her and left for Tokyo with the Outsiders on his tail. Takeo took the sword to his master, the godfather of the Yakuza, known only as the Oyabun. Performing a specific ritual, the Oyabun and Takeo managed to recall the souls that inhabited the sword, who proceeded to take corporeal form. Among them were legendary mercenaries and assassins, but also Maseo, who was now a slave to the Oyabun. Katana had to fight them all and after a long battle that took its toll, Katana was able to reclaim the Soultaker and kill Takeo, and she could finally put an end to some of her ghosts. By undoing the ritual however, her husband returned into the sword as well.

At one point the Outsiders split from Batman's leadership and took up residence in Markovia where they were funded by the Markovian crown. They became the official agents of Markovia and moved to the city of Los Angeles where they made their headquarters in the Markovian embassy, while retaining another secret HQ just off the shore. Although Tatsu had left her past behind, the Oyabun returned in her life and sent a tengu after, with which he captured her. Her teammates in the Outsiders, namely Halo and Looker were able to save her using other tengu and the tengu leader, who aided them in battle.

Family Debt

After a while, the team disbanded after various tragic events surrounding Geo-Force's parents and Markovia. Nonetheless the Outsiders were forced to defend Markovia against the Manhunters, but during the fight Halo was knocked into a coma, saving Katana's life. Bounded by giri-ninjo, Tatsu left the team so she could tend to Halo's wounds. During that time however, she was approached by a family member of her husband, who wished her to accompany the Suicide Squad on a mission to destroy a large horde of weapons that was about to be sold to the Yakuza. She declined on the basis of her giri-ninjo, although she was willing to help if the need was truly desperate.

That family member was later killed, and she went after the killer, the Daichi-Doku's Oyabun, who did not wish to see the weapons destroyed and tried to stop the Suicide Squad. During that adventure, she saved the life of Bronze Tiger and Manhunter, making them honor-bound to her by giri-ninjo. Mark Shaw then assisted her in taking down the Daichi-Doku's Oyabun. The Oyabun committed ritual suicide and Katana stood by as his "second", ready to help with a blade strike so he could keep his honor.

Returning to the Outsiders

Eventually though the Outsiders re-form and return to Markovia. Instead of a peaceful reunion however, the team become trapped in a web of public relations that brands them outlaws. Although the charges would be dropped eventually the team was fractured. Halo dies from an assassin's blast but was reborn in a new body, which put an immense strain on Tatsu's relationship with Halo.

Katana joins a team with Geo-Force and Technocrat, taking the lead. During a lone mission, Tadashi, her old mentor sends Lady Shiva to claim Katana's Soultaker sword. Shiva confronts Katana, who had been battling a gang of drug dealers. Katana had slain many, but refuses to kill the youngest member, something Shiva insults her for.

Shiva, being world-renowned as the world's greatest assassin and fighter, was able to kill Katana with her own sword. Katana returns to life after a trial by combat within her sword, which includes confronting many of the souls of the people she had killed. Afterwards, she manages to find her old mentor and take his life.

The two splinter teams would eventually reunite, to take on more supernatural threats focused around the new team member Faust. Katana and her friends suffer through the mental and physical tortures that Faust's father, Felix, puts them through. Halo eventually frees them by destroying several of Felix's items of power. Soon after, the group breaks apart. After disbanding, Tatsu has kept her association with her old allies among the Outsiders, and although they did not operate as an official team, were always seen alongside each other during major crises.

Her close ties to Batman also saw her fighting by his side, several times, notably during the Imperiex crisis and the Day of Judgment incident when hell invades Earth. The main battle against the villain, the rogue angel Asmodel, with the power of the Spectre, takes place in New York. Katana personally protects Madame Xanadu who is guarding the rest of Asmodel's power with a mystical shield. Katana's protection of Xanadu is assisted by Doctor Occult, Phantom Stranger and Alan Scott.

Later, Katana assists Batman when he and Superman were declared outlaws. Katana was also called upon by Black Canary, together with other female mercenaries, in order to rescue Oracle from Senator Pullman. After Oracle was saved, Katana received a card, together with the promise of a favor if required.

New Outsiders

Most recently, she has joined a new team of Outsiders after assisting them in defeating a more powerful Sabbac. It consists of all new members, with the exception of Metamorpho who rejoined the team after Shift's demise. Later, Katana dons a new costume, as she felt it inappropriate to wear a costume based on Japan's flag. The country had revoked her citizenship due to her membership with the controversial team.

Later, Katana summons Sabbac to destroy Doctor Sivana's base with his Hellfire.

Katana remains an active member of the Outsiders following One Year Later. Initially, the team is led by Nightwing, but later leadership transfers to Batman. Batman decides to "test" Katana and the rest of the initial team, in order to design a better team. Katana is Batman's first official recruit.

When Batman disappeared without a trace, the Outsiders went looking for him all across Gotham. Katana and Geo-Force went to the GCPD Headquarters, where the Bat-Signal was lit. They asked Commissioner Gordon about Batman's location, but he knew as much as they did and instead, he prompted them to ask Nightwing, who was not in a very good mood.

Afterwards, an explosion took place at the Outsiders HQ, killing REMAC and leaving Thunder in a severe coma. After this events, the team disbanded and Katana left the group as well.

Blackest Night

While escorting Killer Croc to incarceration, the Outsiders' vehicle is demolished by Maseo, Yuki, and Reiko, who have all been revived as Black Lanterns. Katana, believing that she has been reunited with her lost family, lets her guard down, but is saved from death by her teammates. Realizing the truth, she draws her sword, preparing to fight her undead husband. When Katana stabs Maseo, Soultaker reveals to her the Black Lanterns' full intentions. Her attacks soon prove to be completely ineffectual against Maseo, who is instead destroyed by an outpouring of light from Halo, who also destroyed Katana's children.

Return of Bruce Wayne

Some time later, Geo-Force became leader of the Outsiders and Katana followed him to Markovia, where he ruled as the prince. When word about a killing attempt against Geo-Force became known, Katana questioned thugs and low-lifes to learn the source of the threat. However, when Geo-Force joined the attempts to stop the violence on the streets, Katana followed him and witnessed how he was attacked by an unknown person. Katana followed the source of the attack and found the mysterious vigilante Insider and tried to stop him, without success. After the battle, Katana recovered and found the real killer. Moments later back at Castle Markov, Katana deduced that Insider was in fact Bruce Wayne and they discussed the future of the Outsiders together. Bruce left them to work in Markovia and told Katana to take care of the team.

[eyepatchdate]

The Prince of Heart Begets a Prince of Blood, or, in Which I Support the Theory that the Auto-Responder is a Prince of Blood   (Part 1/?)

Part 1: The Popularity of Classpecting

Speculation concerning classpects is an incredibly popular subset of the Homestuck fandom, with several blogs interpreting their own versions of the classes, coming up with theories, and figuring out what they think every possible class and aspect combo would consist of.  This is mostly something people do because they wish to classpect themselves, as this kind of classification system is very popular in media.  It is fun for readers to connect to the source material through making themselves part of a group within the fictional world (a common example of this is how readers of the Harry Potter series choose Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw for themselves).

With its complex and in-depth system, Homestuck opened the door to increased reader-inclusion, and it is likely one of the reasons Homestuck is so popular.  This kind of speculation and theorizing can make readers really feel connected, and it can motivate them to continue to be involved with the fandom.

As the majority of Homestuck characters have known classpects, this sort of critical thinking towards Homestuck generally isn’t directed towards finding a character’s classpect (since we already know), but instead, the focus often is shifted towards examining how the character is representative of their classpect.

What do we learn about Space through Jade, Kanaya, Porrim, and Calliope? What do we learn about Heart through Nepeta, Dirk, and Meulin?  What do these characters have in common and how do they each reflect their aspect? We do something similar with the classes (which are even more nebulous to define than the aspects):  How do Pages function through Jake, Tavros, and Horuss?  How do Knights function through Dave, Karkat, and Latula?  And so on.

The canon classpects in Homestuck exist to define the characters, but we can use them additionally to supplement our vague knowledge of the classpects and add to our understanding so that we can more accurately predict what a particular classpect might consist of.  Of how that class and aspect combination would work, what kind of powers the person with that classpect might have, and perhaps even which classpect would suit another character (or readers themselves) best.

For instance, we can theorize what classpect would best suit the Auto-Responder, a character who is unclassed (a rare occurrence in Homestuck).  And, additionally, we can theorize what a Prince of Blood would be like (and, consequently, observe how the Auto-Responder shares traits with the Prince class, the Blood aspect, and how he could function as the classpect, Prince of Blood).

In this essay series, however long it might be, I will be examining the Auto-Responder as a Prince of Blood.

 Part 2:  Defining the Prince of Blood, the Destroyer of Relationships

First, in order to place him as a Prince of Blood, I must define both the Prince class and the Blood aspect separately.  Then I will describe how they would likely function together. Finally, establishing this will allow me to continue my argument to move onto how the Auto-Responder reflects this classpect.

The Prince class is one of the few we have explicitly described to us in the canon.  Assuming that Calliope is correct (which we will, as we don’t have a reason not to in this), the purpose of the Prince class is one of the clearest:

The Prince is Active, a Destroyer class.  They actively pursue and destroy their aspect, even though they also reflect it. Examples of Princes offered by Homestuck are Dirk, Eridan, and Kurloz.

Dirk, the Prince of Heart, is obviously important to consider (and we will talk about him later and throughout this piece).  He is the starting-point for the Auto-Responder and is his creator.  Dirk destroys Heart through his splintering of himself into several fragments, and this is evidenced through all of the different Dirks that exist throughout canon (and, of course, the Auto-Responder is one of these splinters).

Eridan, the Prince of Hope, destroys Hope through breaking the Matriorb, the only way that the troll species could continue to propagate.  He single-handedly completed the genocide of his species that he had been seeking for most of his life.  Thus, he destroyed Kanaya’s Hope and the Hope of all trolls.

Princes are also suspiciously devoid of their own aspect, Dirk splinters his own soul, Eridan has no hope for his own life, and Kurloz is mostly emotionless and does not display anger.  Thus, they destroy their aspect both outside and within themselves, and their powers revolve around them using their own bodies/powers to also conduct that destruction in their surroundings.

The aspect of Blood is largely believed to concern connections and close relationships.  Friendships, love, alliances, and anything similar likely fall under the category of Blood.  The Blood aspect, through Karkat especially, seems to signify bonds and the forging/maintaining of them (for example, how Karkat sees himself as such an expert of the quadrants).  Blood can be connected to leadership, partnership, and overall group dynamics (with a focus on uniting a group into a team).

Proof of this can be found when Kanaya insists right before the final battle, that Karkat is a leader and that his life is important:

And, continuing, Karkat’s connection to blood and creating bonds and causing unification connects to Echidna’s claim that Karkat is necessary to guiding the future of the trolls:

This claim itself connects to both Kankri and the Sufferer, as Aranea infodumps about Kankri’s failures (which connect to the Sufferer’s failures in unifying Alternia, which leaves Karkat with that legacy, the mission to unify trollkind, which is what Echidna believes he will live up to):

Compared to Karkat, Kankri is a failed Blood player who does not unify his allies as he should have, or as he was trying to (just like how the Sufferer ultimately failed due to adversity and conflict).  Blood as a failed concept still connects it to ultimately creating unity, and does succeed on some degree, as the Sufferer in particular still did create a movement that had many members still following it, unified even after his death.  Additionally, throughout canon and specifically during the events on the Meteor before the humans arrive, we witness Karkat failing and struggling as a Blood player.  Blood seems to be a difficult aspect to master, at least it is for Kankri and Karkat. And although Karkat could be interpreted in succeeding through his moirallegiance with Gamzee, which diffuses one of the tensest standoffs in the comic, that connection doesn’t last very long.

Blood players, it seems, often struggle and fail in their aspect.

The Auto-Responder, conversely, succeeds in his role as a Blood player, but this may only be because his stance as a Prince is much more negative towards his aspect.  He succeeds as a Blood player by failing to maintain bonds and by destroying unification.

So, ultimately, I am defining a Prince as an active destroyer, even of himself, and Blood as an aspect having to do with bonds, relationships, and unification.

With these definitions, a Prince of Blood is basically ‘a Destroyer of Relationships’ both internally and externally.  Through his actions and inherent nature, a Prince of Blood destroys his connections to people, destroys the relationships of others, and ultimately causes groups to break apart.

      Part 3:  Considering the Auto-Responder

While not being quite as popular in the fandom, the Auto-Responder still gets quite a bit of attention and he plays a rather major role in Homestuck.  In terms of word count in dialogue, according to this post, the Auto-Responder is the 20th character with the highest word count, clocking in at 8015 spoken words in the comic.  Although this might not sound like much, it is also important to consider ARquiusprite, who definitely has dialogue that is more like the Auto-Responder rather than Equius.  ARquiusprite has 3558 words, some of which can arguably be added to the AR’s word count. Also, considering how many characters have dialogue in Homestuck, scoring in the top 20 isn’t that bad at all comparatively.

And, of course, a character’s influence on the story isn’t necessarily tied to their word count, but to their other actions in the story as well, and we know that the Auto-Responder does quite a bit off-screen (and on-screen in part of the comic without wordcounts, like [S] Unite and [S] Synchronize.

(Disclaimer:  I did not check the above numbers myself, and I am curious if the creator of these statistics considered the AR pretending to be Dirk as Dirk or as the AR.)

I have seen several people try to tackle classpecting the Auto-Responder, although none have been in extensive detail.  Most answers I have found have given him a connection to the Mind aspect, which makes sense, and at first, I thought I agreed.  It makes sense, the Auto-Responder is a very cerebral character, he is a splinter of Dirk’s mind, he is literally only a mind because he does not possess a body.  Mind is all that the Auto-Responder has.  I agreed with this for quite a while, until I started to seriously consider classpecting the Auto-Responder.

I did so during a time when I was thinking in general about the 12 aspects. I wanted to think about how I could fit all twelve of them in with the human session, since the human session is outstanding in the aspects of Doom, Rage, Blood, and Mind.

This is why I considered Mind for the Auto-Responder at first, since it filled a hole in the session.  But, as I continued to think though, I wondered if I should try to see him as another aspect, to figure out if perhaps something else suited him more.

He was always a Prince to me, I think he mirrors Dirk too much to not be a Prince (since he still is Dirk, and if he is not a Heart player then he surely still must be a Prince, he is a splinter but not a shatter—he is still a part of Dirk, he is still Dirk), so he had to have another aspect.  Mind was first.  But then, I thought, what about Blood?

Prince of Blood.  What if the Auto-Responder was a Prince of Blood?

For a long time, I was stuck between considering him a Prince of Mind or a Prince of Blood, and I wasn’t really worried about it immediately, so I let the concept sit for a while.  I let it stew as I kept thinking it over whenever it occurred to me.

And the answers I reached made Blood seem all the more fitting.

So, why a Prince?

Dirk, to me, feels like a character of innate destruction.  He cannot help his nature, and that nature is to rip things apart, both within and without himself.  We see it so much in Homestuck with Dirk as a Prince of Heart, we get to know his class and aspect so well through him that it is one of the ones we understand the most.

The Auto-Responder is Dirk, the only difference is that he is split from Dirk’s experiences from the age of thirteen—when Dirk took the scan of his brain and created his robotic counterpart and copy.  I don’t think that this split is enough to fully separate the Auto-Responder from Dirk as a character, so I am not fond of thinking of him in classes that aren’t Prince.  The Auto-Responder, as Dirk, would have to share either Dirk’s class or aspect.  I think it makes more sense for him to share the class, because I believe the event of splintering actively creates/changes the Auto-Responder’s aspect.

Why Blood?

Blood comes from the Heart.  Blood splits off of the Heart.  The Heart creates Blood.  Dirk created the Auto-Responder.

The Auto-Responder is associated with the color red (the color, ironically, that connects to Dave, and thus connects to Alpha Dave as well—the Auto-Responder grasps a color that Dirk does not, grasps at a relationship that already doesn’t exist).

Blood connects to relationships and bonds, and throughout Homestuck we can absolutely see the Auto-Responder as connecting to connections, as interfering with Dirk’s and other’s.  He puts a wrench into character development and interactions, complicates things concerning the makeup of the Alpha session.  As we move forward in this essay and I start to pull apart events from the comic, we are going to do so through the lens of Blood, focusing on relationships and how the Auto-Responder interacts with them (both within and without himself).

As a Prince, the Auto-Responder will not have his aspect within himself as much as some of the other classes, and he will actually tend to break and destroy even his own aspect in himself (like how all of the other Princes in Homestuck do, to some extent).  I think it’s easy to see how the Auto-Responder destroys his own relationships and bonds, his very existence serves that purpose, and I will go into more detail on that later.

He is the Destroyer of Relationships, the Destroyer of Bonds, the Destroyer of Unification, and the Destroyer of Friendships.

(an aside, from this moment forward I am going to call the Auto-Responder Hal, simply because doing so is simpler.  AR would work too, but it doesn’t look as good in writing as Hal.  Although I believe that Hal is a name that the Auto-Responder picks purely for irony and that he doesn’t actually feel any connection to it, the fandom has adopted it, and I have gotten accustomed to it.  Honestly, I think that the Auto-Responder thinks of himself either as the AR or as Dirk, but I am obviously not going to be calling him Dirk, that would be far too confusing.  Thus, Hal is the name that I will be using continuing forward).

[turtlesinreview]

TMNT Mirage Comics Issue 9

This issue delves a tiny bit into the turtles’ past. Origin story comics always fascinate me because it gives us a broader look into what made a character who they are. How well did this comic do? Let’s see.

Story

This comic starts with this guy, Hattori, having a weird dream about a bunch of samurai fighting brutally. He’s unsure of what it means.

Meanwhile, Splinter is training the boys in martial arts. They’re doing well, but he has criticisms for each one. He meditates shortly after, and senses a faint signal. He isn’t able to intercept it, though.

The next day he’s training the boys again, but he can’t get that signal out of his head. He calls it an early training day to go back and meditate.

Splinter finally reaches a man in his deathbed in Japan. The old man, Gosei Hatsumi, wants to pass on the spiritual power from all the samurai in his family line. Specifically, he wants to pass it to his grandson Hattori. He needs Splinter’s help in doing so, so they switch bodies. They only have 10 hours to do so or else Splinter will die in Hatsumi’s body, so Hatsumi quickly gathers the turtles for an impromptu mission.

They take a moment to spy on Hattori and his father, Kenji, discussing the family business. Kenji expects Hattori to take up the family business, but Hattori would rather live his own life. Kenji disregards him quickly.

Hatsumi sends Donatello and Raphael on recon, and the two find out that there are four assassins who are going to kill both Kenji and Hattori so their associates can take over the business themselves. As soon as the boys tell Hatsumi he has Don, Raph, and Mikey take out three of them. Leo stays with him for support.

The boys easily subdue the assassins, and look pretty badass doing so. They then come back to Hatsumi and Leo, who are watching the Gosei men eat dinner. Hatsumi is trying to think of a way to get Hattori away from his father, who Hattori is again discussing his future with. Kenji is less than thrilled and tells him to forget about martial arts. Basically saying it’s pointless.

That’s when the fourth assassin strikes. He tries to shoot down Hattori, but his father shields him. Leonardo takes out the assassin, but not fast enough to save Kenji, who fucking dies.

Hatsumi has the boys block and guard the doors, then explains to a panicking Hattori that he is actually his grandfather in the body of a giant mutant rat. While Hattori doesn’t believe him at first, Hatsumi shows him a symbol he tried to send him through his dreams, proving it was him. Hatsumi managed to transfer all his knowledge using Splinter’s body, then switched back before fucking dying.

Unfortunately Donatello got the number of assassins wrong, and a fifth one falls through the window. The turtles are guarding the door, so it’s just Hattori and Splinter to fend him off. Splinter tells Hattori he’s totally got this, and it turns out Hattori does! He effortlessly kills the skilled assassin, shocked that he’s able to do so. Splinter explains he has the knowledge and skills of all his fucking ancestors, and he should take advantage of it. Hattori vows to do so.

The comic ends with Splinter explaining to the boys that he had switched bodies with an old-ass man. They thought he was acting weird, but didn’t actually pick up on it, apparently. Splinter says they can go to sleep, and the boys get excited.

Characters

Splinter gets a larger focus than normal in this comic, but unfortunately we mostly follow Hatsumi. The upside is Hatsumi is pretty great, so it’s not like it’s a huge bummer or anything.

Even then Splinter is about the same as usual, but we do know now that he has some sort of spiritual ninja powers. So there’s that. He was also very encouraging to Hattori during his fight, and seemed genuinely proud of the turtles as well. This issue also proved he knows what he’s fucking doing, but there was never any real doubt of that. I also have to give Splinter major props for willingly switching bodies with an old man knowing that if they fail he’d fucking DIE. That’s one brave-ass, heroic rat.

Donatello, who I usually joke does FUCKING NOTHING, actually gets a bigger role in this one. He proves to be good at recon, hushing Raphael so he can hear the two associates talk. His info may not be on point, but at least he has a firm understanding of recon and moving with stealth. I hope we get more focus on that, since we usually see him do NOTHING but fight and come up with one-line combat plans. Which is good for showing his skill, but I’d like to see more of his behavior too.

Michelangelo is mostly seen goofing around during this issue, hopping around in the background like an adorable doofus. He does complain about his training weapon, the mankiri-gusari, saying he’d rather be using the nunchucks.

I’ve actually been looking for an excuse to bring this up. I won’t pretend I’m a weapon’s expert, but from what little I know of all the weapons the turtles mainly use, the nunchucks are the hardest to master and the easiest to fuck up with. To me this says mountains about Michelangelo’s skill as a warrior despite his upbeat and goofy nature.

Raphael also has a training weapon, the tonfas. Ever since learning about this weapon I’ve been kind of a fan of it. If the few animes I’ve seen have taught me anything (and they haven’t), the tonfas are a force to be reckoned with. Kind of an interesting training weapon to substitute for sais, but also oddly fitting.

Raphael didn’t really do a lot in this issue, which surprises me and, oddly, pleases me. He gets way too much screentime as-is.

Leo meanwhile also didn’t do a lot, but he does train with just one katana instead of two. He and Raphael spar at the beginning of the comic, and he does take out an assassins with a bunch of badass throwing stars, but that’s about all he does. Splinter does praise him on his fighting form (which is no surprise), but says practicing is no substitute for real combat.

Writing

The writing is back to form. The premise of this episode is less absurd, but the whole ‘astral plain via meditation’ thing is kinda wacky. Despite that it’s hardly out of place in this comic, considering the turtles are...well, mutants, and have also been to fucking space. I can buy weird mystic magic bullshit at this point.

The tone of this one is mostly serious, the humor mostly being in the visuals with background events. It’s missing a lot of the signature wit, but it’s pretty welcomed all the same, especially after an issue that was full of comedic moments.

Art

Again I have to praise the art for this issue. It seems Eastman and Laird have finally found a solid style, and it can only improve from here. The scenery really pops way more than it has in the past, so it’s nice to see that being applied with improved anatomy and excellent composition.

I’m not sure how old the turtles are supposed to be in this issue. It was a little hard to tell. They’re definitely younger, but by how much I couldn’t really say. I can’t count this as a real complaint. More like I personally wish it were more obvious.

The fight scenes as usual are awesome, and the shading matched the mood of each scene flawlessly. I absolutely value...value, so if anything really hyped me up in this issue, it was the shading.

Final Thoughts

A solid issue that, as usual, takes itself just seriously enough. The framing device for the adventure was interesting, and we got to see the turtles out on a training mission and Splinter being a cool dude. This one is a must-read, and as far as tone goes I’d say it’s my favorite so far, even if there weren’t a lot of stand-out moments to me. It was a very well-constructed issue to be certain.

[signetofworlds]

All Preordained, A Prisoner in Chains (Aroden)

(image taken from Pathfinderwiki, originally from the 100th Adventure Path)

All preordained A prisoner in chains A victim of venomous fate Kicked in the face You can't pray for a place In heaven's unearthly estate

-Neil Peart, “Freewill”

One thing that I pride myself on is having relatively few adversaries despite my incredibly advanced lifespan. I do my best to be friendly with whatever beings I encounter, atone for whatever affronts I make, and when necessary eliminate my rather insistent enemies from existence with minimal hassle. I like to depart whatever worlds I tread upon with no baggage left behind whenever possible, confining any conflicts to the depths of my memory banks for which I have no immediate use.

However, there is one specific individual whom I have neither forgotten nor forgiven in my time, a man who endangered his world and people in incomprehensible ways while being being remembered as a savior. A man who I was unfortunately unable to kill because found a roundabout method of becoming a god, a man who I will boldly say I am glad is seemingly gone from the mutliverse forever. This man is the last Azlanti, the protector of Golarion’s humanity, the emblem of human triumph for much of the planet’s history: Aroden.

Now, before some of you make fallacious claims about me not knowing the legendary man well enough to properly judge his character, let me relay our history together. I was there in Azlant when he worked as a smith, and the bracelets upon my arms were in fact fashioned in his workshop. I was in court the day he claimed that he was the only one worthy of the Diamond Sword (clearly, he failed to acknowledge my presence, although I have little use for such weaponry). I watched him reassemble the huddled masses of humanity into the Knights of the Ioun Star. I was there on the day he raised Absalom from the depths and ascended to godhood, dooming Golarion in ways he might have been able to but unfortunately refused to comprehend.

I should explain how prophecies work, given the impressive amount of misinformation bouncing around on the subject. Imagine the future as bookshelf, one which contains a wide variety of potential tales that one can explore by taking the time to peruse through them. Prophecies take all but a few of those books and toss them into a bonfire, culling away chains of events until only a few near-identical ones remain. Of course, these few remaining futures all tie in some way to the prophet’s own fear or desire, pushing the future onto a specific rail with potentially tremendous ramifications. Destruction of futures is something rather difficult to comprehend for anyone who has never experienced any significant time travel, but trust me when I say that the breakdown of consequences can be disastrous and that sundering fractal timelines is one of the few things that will actually get Yog-Sothoth to display something akin to anger.

The Azlanti people abused prophetic magic in a wide variety of ways over the course of their time on Golarion, and Aroden happened to be a benefactor of this rampant obliteration of timestreams. Born with innately impressive abilities, Aroden benefitted from numerous localized temporal cullings (call them prophecies if you wish) and eventually secured himself a position of effective untouchability. By the time Aroden returned to bring humanity out of the Age of Darkness, so many timelines had been obliterated that probabilities would bend unpredictably in this fellow’s favor simply because any other outcomes had been magically eliminated.

It was at this point that I stepped in and tried to stop Aroden and his prophecy-obsessed disciples from wrecking any more havoc with cosmic forces. I take little joy in conflict, but neither an atom in my body nor a mote in my magic regretted my actions as I slaughtered Azlanti mages en masse over the course of those months. Eventually, Aroden confronted me himself, and no matter what reasons I laid before my old friend he insisted on saving what few scraps of prophetic spell knowledge I sought to destroy. The ensuing battle was amongst the most grueling I’ve ever endured, and only through some obscure spell knowledge and what little luck could still challenge this reality-collapsing fanatic was I able to escape the conflict intact.

But all of Aroden’s crimes against the multiverse pale in comparison to his ascension and what it did to Golarion. When Aroden became the God of Prophecy, his capacity for timeline destruction became far more potent than even the most catastrophic mortal prophets. Upon his ascension, Golarion’s timeline literally collapsed into a single chain of events, with all probabilities and potential destinies becoming set on a single course which Aroden had decided in his supreme arrogance. This total annihilation of free will and probabilistic uncertainty made it incredibly hazardous to even be near Golarion during the Age of Enthronement, which led me and many other mages learned enough to realize this to flee the planet for what we thought would be forever.

The death of Aroden was an event that I was most grateful for, as I felt that I still had much to learn about Golarion. Some blasphemous theologians speculate that Aroden ended his own existence in order to shatter the paradigm of predestination he had created. It is quite possible that he dreaded the future he had foreseen and unwittingly mandated, choosing to die rather than see it come to pass. Perhaps it did actually come to pass despite his best efforts, as I could envision few fates more catastrophic than what eventually became of Golarion. Maybe if he had never trapped the planet on a specific timeline the ensuing multiversal could have been averted.

I don’t know what happened to him, but I most certainly remember Aroden’s unique abilities and fighting style from our numerous encounters. If ever he returns to the world of mortals, I would most certainly like to settle my score.

ARODEN  CR 30

Advanced Azlanti Human Wizard (Sword Binder) 20/Champion 10

LN Medium Humanoid (human, mythic) Init +39M  Senses Arcane Sight, Aura Sight, Read Magic, See Invisibility, Speechreader’s Sight, Perception +37 DEFENSE AC 60 touch 37, flat-footed 49 (+9 armor, +7 shield, +10 dex, +7 natural, +5 deflection, +11 luck, +1 insight) hp 522 (20d6+450) Fort +31, Ref +32, Will +38; Defensive Abilities: Defensive Feedback, Force of Will, Hard to Kill, Immortal, Mythic Saving Throws, Pure Destiny, Recuperation, Unstoppable, Immune ability damage, ability drain, aging, bleed, charm, compulsion effects, curses, death effects, disease, energy drain, insanity, petrification, poison SR 35 (arcane spells only)

OFFENSE

Space 5 feet Reach 5 ft Speed 30 Melee Aroden’s Diamond Sword +39/+34 (1d8+18/19-20/x2), Shield of Aroden +39/+34 (1d4+11), helmet +35/+31 (1d4+7) Ranged +1 Greater Designating Second Chance Seeking Longbow +32/+27 (1d8+14/x3) Special Attacks Always a Chance, Channel Power, Fleet Charge, Glorious Blade, Human Paragon 13/day, Legendary Champion, Mythic Power (23/day, surge +1d12), Shielding Weapon, Sword of the Mage 28/day, Wild Arcana

Spell Like Abilities (CL 24th, concentration +35, 1/day for each level, DC 21+spell level)

9th-Foresight, Gate, Mage’s Disjunction, Miracle, Prismatic Sphere, Summon Monster IX

8th-Discern Location, Holy Aura, Mass Cure Critical Wounds, Mind Blank, Protection from Spells, Shield of Law,

7th-Dictum, Holy Sword, Legend Lore, Refuge, Repulsion, Spell Turning

6th-Antimagic Field, Find the Path, Heroes’ Feast, Hold Monster, Undeath to Death

5th-Dispel Chaos, Righteous Might, Spell Resistance, Telepathic Bond, True Seeing

4th-Divination, Order’s Wrath, Holy Smite, Imbue with Spell Ability, Spell Immunity

3rd-Dispel Magic, Magic Circle Against Chaos, Prayer, Protection from Energy, Searing Light, Speak with Dead

2nd-Align Weapon, Bless Weapon, Comprehend Languages, Magic Mouth, Shield Other

1st-Bless, Comprehend Languages, Identify, Protection from Chaos, Sanctuary, Shield of Faith Spells Known (CL 24th, concentration +39) (DC 25+spell level) 9th—Aroden’s SpellbaneM, AscensionM, Foresight, Mage’s Disjunction, Mass Last Azlanti’s Defending Sword, WishM

8th—Dimensional LockM, Frightful Aspect, Iron Body, Mind Blank, Moment of Prescience, Trap the Soul 7th—Aroden’s Magic Army, Delayed Blast Fireball, Greater Teleport, Instant Summons, Limited Wish, Quickened Displacement, Quickened Protection from Energy 6th—Borrowed TimeM, ContingencyM, Greater Dispel Magic, Mage’s Decree, Mass Human Potential, TransformationM, True Seeing 5th—Banishing Blade, Fabricate, Grand Destiny, Greater Guardian Monument, Lend Path, Overland Flight, Wall of Force

4th—Dimensional Anchor, Dimension DoorM, Create Armaments, Fear, Mythic Severance, Resilient Sphere, Telekinetic Charge

3rd—Aroden’s Spellsword, Daylight, Dispel Magic, Fireball, Greater Magic Weapon, HasteM, HeroismM, Vampiric Touch 2nd—Continual Flame, False Life, Force Sword, Intensified Shocking Grasp, Splinter Spell Resistance, Stricken Heart, Whispering Wind, Winged Sword

1st—Alarm, Expeditious Construction, Floating Disk, Heightened Awareness, Linked Legacy, Long Arm, Magic Missile, Unseen Servant 0 (at will)—Detect Magic, Mage Hand, Mending, Prestidigitation STATISTICS Str 36, Dex 30, Con 26, Int 40, Wis 30, Cha 32 Base Atk +10; CMB +38; CMD 58 Feats: Alertness, Arcane StrikeM, Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, Critical Focus, Dual PathM (Archmage), Endurance, Extra Path AbilityM, Inscribe Magical Tattoos, Mythic Spell LoreM, Heighten Spell, Improved InitiativeM, Improved Shield Bash, Intensify Spell, Quicken Spell, Scribe Scroll, Shield Master, Shield Slam, Two-Weapon Fighting Skills Acrobatics +33, Appraise +38, Bluff +34, Climb +36, Craft (all) +38, Diplomacy +34, Disable Device +33, Disguise +34, Escape Artist +33, Fly +33, Handle Animal +34, Heal +33, Intimidate +34, Knowledge (All) +38, Linguistics +38, Perception +37, Perform +34, Profession (all) +33, Ride +33, Sense Motive +37, Spellcraft +38 Stealth +33, Survival +33, Swim +36, Use Magic Device +34 Languages Aboleth, Abyssal, Aklo, Aquan, Auran, Azlanti, Celestial, Common, Elven, Ignan, Infernal, Terran, Thassilonian, probably a bunch more I never heard him speak, Tongues SQ Amazing Initiative, Arcane Bond (Aroden’s Diamond Longsword), Crusader (score 35), Divine Source (Community, Glory, Knowledge, Law, Magic, Protection), Efficient Creator, Exceptional Stats, Fortified by Prophecy, Knowledge is Power, Legendary Hero, Legendary Item (Aroden’s Diamond Sword, Dedicated Bond, Eternal Bond, Foe-Biting, Perfect Surge, Powerful, Rejuvenating, Returning x2, Undetectable, Unstoppable Strike), Mythic Craft Combat Gear +1 Adamantine Spiked Gauntlet, +1 Cold Iron Spiked Gauntlet, +1 Elysian Bronze Blade Boot, +1 Dueling Inubrex Dwarven Boulder Helmet, +1 Greater Designating Second Chance Seeking Longbow +1, Silver Blade Boot, Amethyst Pyramid Ioun Stone, Amulet of Natural Armor +5, Aroden’s Diamond Sword, Belt of Physical Perfection +6, Bouncing Metamagic Rod, Cracked Dusty Rose Prism Ioun Stone, Dark Blue Rhomboid Ioun Stone, Dusty Rose Prism Ioun Stone, Dazing Metamagic Rod, Disruptive Metamagic Rod, Empower Metmagic Rod, Extend Metamagic Rod x3, Greater Authoritative Metamagic Rod, Greater Enlarge Metamagic Rod, Greater Extend Metamagic Rod x2, Greater Merciful Metamagic Rod, Greater Maximize Metamagic Rod, Greater Quicken Metamagic Rod, Greater Reach Metamagic Rod, Greater Silent Metamagic Rod, Headband of Mental Superiority +6, Iridescent Spindle Ioun Stone, Lesser Extend Metamagic Rod x5, Lesser Intensified Metmagic Rod, Lingering Metamagic Rod, Nectar of the Gods x10, Pauldrons of Unflinching Fortitude, Persistent Metamagic Rod, Quicken Metamagic Rod, Ring of Continuation, Ring of Protection +5, Robes of Azlant, Rod of Absorption, Spellbooks containing every spell he has ever created, Scarlet and Green Cabochen Ioun Stone, Threnodic Metamagic Rod, Wand of Aroden’s Spellsword (50 charges), Western Star Ioun Stone

Efficient Creator (Su): Aroden can craft mundane items as if they were magic items for the purpose of determining the speed of creation.

Exceptional Stats (Ex): Aroden was born a perfect specimen of humanity. As a result, his ability scores were generated using 25 points, rather than using the standard 15 point buy used to create most NPCs. Aroden also has increased all of his ability scores by 5 through use of the Wish spell. Additionally, Aroden has much more gear than an NPC of her level would normally have. These modifications increase his total CR by 2.

Fortified by Prophecy (Ex): Aroden adds his Charisma modifier as a luck bonus to his Armor Class, his attack rolls, and on all of his saving throws, and adds his Charisma modifier to his Constitution modifier for the purpose of determining his hit points. This ability increases his total CR by 1.

Glorious Blade (Su): When Aroden attacks with a sword (including swordlike effects created by spells such as spiritual weapon, as long as they require attack rolls), he can expend a prepared spell as a free action to gain an insight bonus on the attack roll equal to the level of the prepared spell expended.

Human Paragon (Ex): Embodying humanity’s innate versatility, Aroden possesses a much wider variety of abilities than even most humans. He is able to use the Martial Flexibility ability of a 20th-level Brawler, save that he can select non-combat feats in addition to combat feats. Aroden is considered to have 20 levels in every class and a base attack bonus equal to his class level for the purpose of meeting the prerequisites for feats, and is proficient with all forms of weapons and armor. In addition, he is considered to have 20 ranks in all skills and considers all skills to be class skills. This ability increases his CR by 1.

Immortal (Ex): Aroden’s immense magical abilities have sustained his lifespan for an extended period. He gains the +3 bonus to Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores for having lived beyond venerable age, but he doesn’t gain the penalties to Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution resulting from this advanced age. Aroden’s supernaturally empowered life grants him complete immunity to ability damage and drain, aging, charm and compulsion effects, death effects, disease, energy drain, petrification, poison, and all forms of madness (including confusion effects and feeblemind). This ability increases his total CR by 1.

Mythic Contingencies (Sp): Aroden has established numerous mythic contingencies, activating the following spells with maximum mythic augmentation under the following conditions.

When Aroden bangs his sword on his shield, he activates a Globe of Invulnerability centered on himself.

Aroden possesses a crystal filling in his mouth that, when pressed with his tongue, transports him to a hidden demiplane using Plane Shift

When Aroden draws his sword, he activates a Transformation effect

When Aroden clicks his heels together, he is affected by both Invisibility and Silence

Finally, when Aroden shouts his iconic Azlanti battle cry (something like “Steel your form and mind.” Honestly I’ve heard better), he activates a Wreath of Blades spell on himself.

Permanent Spells (Sp): Aroden has the following spells affecting him permanently: Arcane Sight, Aura Sight, Read Magic, See Invisibility, Speechreader’s Sight, Soul Vault, and Tongues

Shielding Weapon (Su): As an immediate action, when he casts an abjuration spell, Aroden can gain a bonus equal to 1½ times the level of the spell cast.

ARODEN’S DIAMOND SWORD

Aura: overwhelming all; CL: 20th

Slot: none; Weight 6 lbs.

DESCRIPTION

+5 Axiomatic Phase Locking Spell-Storing Throneglass Longsword was forged by Aroden’s own hand during the height of Azlant, and through his magics he has insured that no other creature may wield it so long as he exists (that...didn’t exactly work out for him). In addition to being phenomenally potent as a weapon, Aroden’s Diamond Longsword can also be used as a substitute for any focus components needed for spellcasting. Spells with expensive spell components cast using the Diamond Sword as an Arcane Bond focus require no material components and do not provoke attacks of opportunity.

DESTRUCTION

Aroden’s Diamond Sword shatters if it is used by a deceitful or traitorous human leader to strike down another more worthy of their position.

ROBES OF AZLANT

Aura: overwhelming all; CL: 20th

Slot: body; Weight 12 lbs.

DESCRIPTION Although they are typically depicted as robes, Aroden’s signature garment is actually a +5 determination glamered heavy fortification vigilant spiked mithral chain shirt with several other unique properties. The Robes of Azlant increase the caster level of the wearer by 4 and possess 4 pockets that function as handy haversacks. When worn by a lawful creature, the Robes of Azlant possess no maximum dexterity bonus and actually reduces any arcane spell failure chance the wielder possesses by 15% (this allows to cast with no chance of failure while carrying a heavy wooden shield). When worn by a chaotic creature, they immediately gain 10 negative levels. These negative levels cannot be removed so long as such an individual wears these robes, but all but two are removed when they take the robes off. These negative levels never kill the wearer, always leaving them with the maximum number of negative levels they can suffer while remaining alive. However, for each negative level negated in this way, the armor cannot be removed for one year.

DESTRUCTION

The Robes of Azlant can be destroyed if it is donned by a chaotic evil Alghollthu. The robes transform and crush the creature to death, ripping themselves apart in the process

Tactics

Most would think that Aroden would fight fair, using fairly conventional tactics in a battle. Here’s an index of some of the more dirty tricks this bastard pulled against me.

-Aroden’s Spellsword. The champion of humanity built this spell himself and exploits it to an incredible degree. His sword carries a rod, obviously, but also his shield, both his gauntlets, his two blade boots, his helmet, his armor spikes, and all four of the daggers he uses for his Wreath of Blades spell. I’ve seen the maniac polymorph himself into some downright ridiculous forms for the sake of grabbing even more weapons (or natural weapons) so he can subsume rods into them and throw copious amounts of metamagic on any spell he casts. On a few occasions I have seen him stuff multiple instances of the same rod into a weapon through numerous castings of the spell so that he doesn’t have to reload.

-The Human Paragon ability has innumerable aggravating uses, extending far beyond the addition of extra combat feats in the heat of the moment (although Aroden has been known to use it for that purpose). Most notably, this ability can be used to grab Spell Perfection for any spell he knows and any metamagic feats that he wishes to boost it with, resulting in an obscene degree of versatility

-Aroden’s Spellbane. I helped him a bit on the research for this one and I most certainly regret it. He usually casts this spell at the start of the day, always making sure to block out Antimagic Field, Greater Dispel Magic, and Mage’s Disjunction so that nobody can get the drop on him without his various boons. I’ve seen him negate healing spells on a few occasions, and at one point opted to negate numerous wall and sphere spells so that nobody would be able to trap him. That said, his most devious tactic has been using a combination of Long Arm, Frightful Aspect, and a Widened Antimagic field to swipe at disempowered opponents without losing his own numerous boons (the bastard usually grabs step up, disruptive, and spellbreaker as well, so escape becomes rather difficult).

- Aroden is almost never alone, and will usually fight alongside his entourage of champions known as the Paragons of Humanity. These Paragons are Einherjar of various alignments (most often lawful, as Aroden loved his supplicants) who have enough templates and class levels in various combinations to each be CR 20. At least 6 Paragons accompany Aroden at any given time in addition to his cohort (whatever poor, idealistic warrior he was able to goad into service at the time).

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Enlightening Cinema

gallop McKennaEnlightening CinemaMetaphysical Articles | February 6, 2005... Cinema By dash ... me tell you why you're here. You're here being you appreciate ... What you know, you can't explain. But you aura it. You felt it your integrated life. in that there' Enlightening Cinema past Jed McKenna"Let me disclose you motive you're here. You're attending because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You sense it your entire life. That there something inaccurate with the world. You don't appreciate what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind driving you mad." -Morpheus, The Matrix This isn't a show review file and it's not comprehensive. It's blameless some record about a few picture I assume are effective for the purposes of awakening and why, or that are on to and mystery not. With tools of understanding, poor is much better then good. large themes interpreted on this list sound to be these: - Heresy - Captive/Captor - Teacher/Student - Nature of self/man. - Death/rebirth. Cataclysm/epiphany. - Untrustworthiness of mind/memories. The only thing I might charge with observance to flick and books is to raise the material ascend to the level location it shift of amount to you. Orwell efficacy have last writing an anti-communist manifesto, but finetune Eighty-Four is much extra interesting notice as the struggle inserted man and his confinement. Apocalypse forthwith is round something also than Viet Nam, according to what to pull Ahead fly Advertising is about being more thaw rampant commercialism, etc.::: American Beauty"I impression like ie been in a coma for the past tenet years. furthermore I'm just now waking up." give included American Beauty chiefly for whites wrong with it. Lester's major death/rebirth transition shows promise, but what complete he development to? rearward to teenage crap, not forward in any sense. A fear-based regression. ludicrous car, simple drugs, simple vanity, stupid skirt chasing. Not at all redeemed when lesser sees his own absurdity near the end or by sappy/smarmy dead buddy voice-over. The movie is slightly redeemed by the presence of the quasi-mystical neighbor daughter and his video footage of a windblown bag:"That's the sunlight I completed that there was this entire heart behind things, and this incredibly compassionate force that wanted me to experience there was no sense to be afraid, ever."::: Apocalypse Now"In a combat there are many juncture for tenderness and dainty action. efficient are countless moments for ruthless life what is often christened ruthless what may in many sphere be exclusive clarity, seeing clearly what there is to be done and doing it, directly, quickly, awake, study at it." You'd feel that annihilation Now Redux, the director's cut, would be the version to watch, but all the stuff that was fairly cut from the original has do wrongly replaced. (Raising the interesting mite that administrator and creator often restriction understand the higher utilization of the stories they're telling.) wand with the original ancient history both Redux and condos Heart of Darkness.Apocalypse Now is all about the Horror. ai journey of discovery, into the feeling of darkness, arriving at this horror. What's the horror? by means of do you get there? Why would anyone produce such a journey? experience you prepare such a journey? Why or how not?Note the powerful epiphanies that trip the film. The prime assassin's cap home, ("Sell the house, sell the car, move the kids..."), Dennis Hopper's youthful exuberance, Kurtz's lozenge bullet, paillards "...I wasn't even in their artillery any more." ::: life There"Spring, summer, autumn, winter... then buck again."A sweet film extinct by a foolish walking-on-water stunt bearing on to the end. Without that nonsense the viewer would be free to think, to decide, to wonder. Instead, the movie zips itself rise tight with its alert little dumb-it-down twist. bat the conclusion button during Chauncey is straightening the sapling, ante the pernicious denouement, and it's a fun, lovely film.::: brand Runner"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. violation ships on fire slight the carry of Orion. I've minded c-beams luster in the dark immediate the man-house Gate. outright those point will be lost in time cognate tears in rain. past to die." Were you born quinate minutes ago? Of system not, and you have the remembrance to turn out it. yard know if they were artificial implants, because, uh...::: Cast Away"I couldn't square kill the author the style I needed to. I had power over nothing."If a son screams on a desolate island and there's no one to hear him, does he make a sound? Is it ample that he hears it himself? What if not? What's south when you take away everything?Self bare bare.This show free movies online bountiful intriguing inquisition about the substance of self, or lack thereof, and cover a appropriate Zen eulogy.::: Dead dramatist SocietyHeresy.::: hailed and Maude"Vice, virtue. It's best not to be too moral... Aim superior morality."American Zen, master and disciple. ::: Harvey"For years I was smart... I recommend pleasant."Elwood P. Dowd, wisefool. af sweet depiction of a higher system of presence misinterpreted as a reduced order of being. intend we notice the exceptional Man although we saw him? ::: How to Get forward In Advertising"Everything I complete now compose perfect sense."A thwarted advance for freedom. A flop attempt to overthrow Maya. Enjoy the insanity of the epiphany.::: Joe vs the Volcano"Nobody knows anything, Joe. wheal take this leap, and we'll see. We'll jump, and wall see. hates life, right?"Death and Rebirth. Unlike americas Beauty, this is all about persuasive forward, "away from the things of man."::: brother Facing Southeast (Hombre Mirando Al Sudeste)Watch especially for the optical poem of a father crumbling a human sage into a sink although looking for the soul.::: The Matrix"Like everyone else, you were born toward bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A lockup for your mind." plutos Cave for the people. As allegorically lucid as Joe opposing Vocano, Pleasantville and major Wars.::: Monty Python's activity of Brian"No, no! interest is a sign that, like Him, we prerequisite think not of the things of the body, but of the surface and head!"Sacred Cow-tipping at its best."Meaning of Life" also permeate on this list.::: canteen Eighty-Four"If you want a vision of the future, Winston, envision a boot stamping on a animal faceforever."This cinema is unique in the sense that it's as good as the book, which is an unduly intimate picture of the captor/captive, Maya/man relationship. Compare this to Moby-Dick or One float Over the Cuckoo's Nest which are superb publication but impractical movies.::: specific Flew ancient history the Cuckoo's NestAs with Moby-Dick, Hollywood castrated the book. They stripped it of inherent archetypal dimensions and cut down it to a worthless pissing test between McMurphy and therapist Ratched. big entertainment, but for meaningful insight, see the book.::: Pleasantville"There are some community where the road doesn't go in a circle. There are some places where it keeps on going."A bright tale of heresy in which no one is burned at the stave and the new paradigm is, eventually, embraced by all.::: The Razor's Edge"The dead look so terribly dead."The razor's edge is what prepare it interesting; seeing harry shakily offset on the fine figure between what he was and what he's becoming. He is walking the edge halfway two lives. The Bill Murray interpretation is a bit unfocused... stick with Tyrone talent or gather the book. Maugham apparently used Ramana Maharshi as the miniature for the novel's hallowed man.::: major Wars"The enforcement will be with you, always."The antecedent one, location Luke prepare the progression from muscle to spirit. The Hero's Journey.::: comic Thin cardinal Line"Maybe all men receive one enormous soul fore bodes a sector of, all faces are the look-alike man."A gorgeous inquiry into the metaphysical nature of man. other a sad/sweet song thin a sequential film.::: The Thirteenth Floor"So what're you saying? You're saying that there's addition world on top of this one?"Layer after layer. Turtles on top of turtles. ::: Vanilla Sky/Abre Los Ojos"Open your eyes."If you related Vanilla Sky, check out the original, the Continental film Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes). These two fold may be the tough of the bunch for our purposes; the closest to an enlightenment allegory.Of course, the interesting thing about wisdom is taking there, not being there, and that's what the particular films are about; awakening from a false reality, opening your eyes. They're not so much round what's actual as whites not. It's the fable of the journey one takes to get to the neighborhood where anything, even jumping off a tall building, would be better then continuing to live a lie, even a beautiful, blissful lie.Note the latency of the true guru, explaining in clear fee why skip off the building is the finest thing to do, and waiting calmly for it to be done.::: rising Life"They respond that imagination are alone real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same piece about life?"Wide-ranging philosophical inquiry. Provocative. Amusing. Potentially disruptive.::: Wings of Desire"When the child was a child, it was the time of these questions: Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? albeit did point begin and where execute space end?"A lovely, intelligent, thought-provoking film. Can the awakened living return to the dreamstate? Would he want to?::: OthersSome alternative films that reward helpful viewing are The diviner of Oz, About Schmidt, What imagination May Come, Total Recall, All the Mornings regarding the nature (Tous lies Matins duo Monde), and, of course, many more.-Jed McKenna ::: About the Author"Jed McKenna is an American original." -Lama surely DasJed McKenna is the author of "Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing" and "Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment", issued by Wisefool Press. Coming in 2005: "Spirituality X" and "Jed McKenna's Notebook". Visit WisefoolPress.com to read more.