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quietwingsinthesky · 10 days

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sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.

which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.

and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.

and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3

in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.

it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.

#spn oc #don’t mind this i’m rambling about nothing i felt nostalgic about her (<- my oc)#there was also an explanation in the mix for why amara was called amara in this au too despite. you know. not being a baby.#and it was like. a vessel’s desperate attempt to separate itself from the thing inside it by naming it something other than itself.#like a last moment of self-preservation. the opposite of lucifer using nick’s face and us all agreeing to think of it as his. you know?#and amara means beauty.#it’s a very human need. to name things. and the thing is that humanity itself is antithetical to what amara is. in this au.#not because of any inherent quality of it. but because it was not made with her in mind.#i keep bringing up lucifer but he’s such a good comparison case of what thirteen year old me was trying to construct here #and what i can better explain now that im. not thirteen. but its that. lucifer has beef with humans because they have common ground.#the only reason he can hate them is because they’re recognizable to him. terrible little cockroaches. but something he understands.#amara as i conceived of her could not hate or love or understand humanity. or the world. or anything as we know it. because it was not made #to be seen by her. it was made with the express purpose of her never encountering it.#when i was thirteen i wanted her to be so much more alien than she was. unfortunately this is supernatural and supernatural deals in #Just Some Guy forever and ever <3 #but it was my story so i made her fucked up and weird and beyond comprehension.#except. of course. when forced to bend into a shape that makes her Not her.#i don’t think proper envesseling would have been a process either her or the oc survived. not because they’d die but because they’d get.#stuck? i think? that was what the intent was. that they’d get melted together like plastic toys.#chuck had a nice smooth envesseling in this au because these toys are made for him.#and angels need consent and angels get bleedover from their vessels because the toys are shared with them but they’re closer to being toys #themselves too.#i’ve rambled enough honestly no one cares about this but me aksjfkjfks #what was i talking about. right! the naming!#the naming of amara is a nail in her coffin because she is named and it is so human to be named and to be perceived and to be shaped by that #perception. even without malicious intent. even to be looked at as destruction itself and be named beauty.#in the same way you kill what something could be by learning what it is. the way a unicorn dies when you discover how rhinos were drawn.#does that make sense? that’s what kills her. bit by bit.

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softquietsteadylove · 2 years

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I really love every AU you have written so far! And I have to thank you for keeping every one of them somehow alive because reading every new prompt is just saving the day!!❤️❤️

May I ask for a Pokémon AU prompt? Thenas Pokémon are telling Gil that he should have a nice dinner date with Thena so they are helping him, asking her for a date.

Just them and their Soft, funny and beautiful moment. (You decide if there will be a kiss^^)

"Gallade."

Gil nearly spit out his bite of food, instead aspirating and choking on it. He thumped his fist on his chest a few times before he finally managed to swallow it properly. He stared at the pokemon leaning against the kitchen counter, just...looking at him. "Excuse me?"

"Gal," the psychic/fighting type shrugged. Gil had heard him just fine, there was no mistake. It had said what it said. "Gallade."

"Uh," Gil stuttered, his face flushing at the deadpan request - really it sounded more like an order - to ask a certain Ace Trainer out on a date. "What...brought this on?"

But Gallade still didn't rise to Gil's flustered reaction. It did lean off the edge of the counter, looking over to the sliding side door, where Thena was mixing Dragonite a bowl of special, personalised pokechow. Teddiursa was watching her do it, in a phase of being fascinated with every process he witnessed. "Lade."

Gil blinked at the very simple statement of Thena's happiness. He supposed he could see what her pokemon meant. She wasn't always the most expressive person in the region, but certainly Gil could always tell what she was thinking or feeling. And yeah, maybe recently it had been easier to read a clear lightness and happiness off of her. And yeah, maybe she seemed to be in a pretty good mood, even after long days in Victory Road or when he got in late and literally woke her up from waiting for him. And yeah, maybe it was really cute, and made him really happy to see her so happy.

"Gal-Gallade."

Gil just wasn't sure if it could really be said that he was the reason for that happiness. Was he happy that Thena was happy?--of course! But to say that he was the reason for it. Gil nodded his head at the low patio on the side of the house, where Teddiursa was watching over Thena's shoulder as she pointed out the elements of Dragonite's specially tailored and nutritious meal. "You don't think that has something to do with it?"

Gallade smiled, its fondness for its new teammate and little brother showing through. It might have accepted Teddiursa as a mere presence at first, but even he had to admit that the little cub fit right into their family.

Gil looked at Gallade again as it basically argued that Teddiursa was far from the only reason for his trainer's recent spike in happiness. "Noticed what?"

"Gallade, Gal-Gallade," he continued, moving his hand(?) in a very human way as he chatted with Gil. They had known each other for a long time, after all--before Gallade was even a Gallade at all. It had known Gil all this time, and been able to notice that he and Thena clearly were bonded. But it was more recently that the bond seemed to 'change' as the pokemon phrased it.

"Change how?" Gil frowned, although Gallade was quick to assuage his worries. Gil hadn't really thought about their relationship being all that different--certainly he hadn't noticed any big, dramatic shifts between them.

There were some...significant events, sure. But maybe the repercussions from them had set in more slowly than he had really realised. From Teddiursa's arrival, to them becoming 'Mama' and 'Papa' to the little cub, to the Beware incident and beyond. And of course there was that one time...

"Gallade," it said more firmly, pulling Gil out of his thoughts. This wasn't about him thinking about things too hard. This was about him and Thena finally acting on feelings everyone could clearly see they had.

Gil scoffed, "we do not."

"Ninetales."

"Not you too," Gil sighed as the fire/psychic type walked over to them. Her tails swished as she settled in the kitchen to be part of the discussion that was making Gil feel more and more ganged up on. "I don't-"

"Nine."

Gil blushed. Well, sure, maybe he did have some feelings for Thena that were not...entirely friendship based. But surely that just came with the territory of someone's best friend being perfect in every way. Friends could be friends and also be smart, and beautiful, and talented, and a great trainer, and sweet, and caring, and humble, and devoted, and mindful of the environment, and a good mother, and-

"Gallade!"

"Look," Gil held up a hand to both the stubborn pokemon staring him down. "Even if I did have feelings for Thena--which I'm not saying I do!"

Gallade actually rolled its eyes at him (the nerve).

"That doesn't mean she has those feelings for me."

"Nine?" the fox pokemon looked up at Gil, utter disbelief - and maybe some amusement - on her muzzle. Her tails swished on the kitchen floor letting him know how unconvinced she was. "Ninetales."

It was hard to argue with a part psychic type that could read the occasional mind. Not that Thena's mind needed reading, as far as Ninetales was concerned, her trainer's adoration of Gil being so obvious (apparently).

"Ninetales-Nine," the pokemon continued, utterly remorseless about telling Gil all about Thena's increased thoughts of him, her eagerness to see him at every possible opportunity, even her new habit of sighing every few minutes. And that was nothing to say of her increased heart rate whenever he was around.

"Gallade," it interjected, trying to argue a more action based approach. No matter the evidence presented, it didn't matter unless one of them actually did something about it. And Gallade was through with leaving it up to his trainer to make the first move for herself. "Lade."

She still hadn't entirely forgiven him for the stunt he pulled that one time.

Gil blushed again, looking out at Thena, chatting with Dragonite so he wouldn't have to eat outside alone, or cram himself into her modest little kitchen. Teddiursa was sitting in her lap, happy just to be in his Mama's presence.

Gallade poked Gil in the cheek, just to make sure the ranger was aware that he was, in fact, smiling like a fool.

"Ugh," Gil swatted the hand(?) away, "yes, thank you, I get it."

"Gallade."

"I don't know," Gil sighed at the persistence of their conversation. He looked over, now finding that even Froslass had joined them. For all he knew, the ghost had been there the whole time, invisible to his human eye. "What if...what if it doesn't work? What if that's not how we're meant to be and I...ruin it?"

"Froslass?" the sensitive ice/ghost type frowned, tilting her head at him.

"What if," Gil paused, leaning on the counter and dropping his head, "what if I ruin the best thing in my life?"

"Gallade?"

"Of course she is!" Gil barked in response, raising his head but still stuck looking at Thena outside, bathed in midday sun with the mountain wind tossing her hair around. "How could she not be?! She is the best part of every single day I have! Days I don't see Thena are--are awful! They're the worst--they don't even count as days! They just one long, miserable stretch of time!"

The three pokemon let him go on.

Gil let out a laugh, unable to stop now that the ball was rolling. "You think I can have a good day without that?!"

He held out his hand, pointed in the direction of Thena, her head tossed back in laughter.

"Impossible! I'd rather be on Garbador duty for a month! I could have the worst shift of my Arceus forsaken life!--and if I get to see Thena smile, then everything's fine! I know my job isn't easy. I love it, and I'm happy to do it, but it's not like I can be happy every single second I'm at work."

"But being with Thena?" Gil slammed his head down on the counter, letting out a kind of muffled shriek into his hands. The pokemon startled faintly but still didn't interrupt. He raised his head, leaving his chin on his hands as he looked at her. "It's what I was meant to do."

Arceus and Celebi and all the legends in between: the ranger was done for.

Gil groaned as he felt a cold hand(???) pat him on the shoulder, "thanks, Froslass."

"Fross!"

Gil picked his head up, looking at all three pokemon trying to encourage him. "Are you sure?"

"Froslass," the ghost tapped his shoulder again and pointed outside at her trainer.

Gil wasn't sure what she was trying to convey to him--he didn't have any ghostly powers for him to know what they were saying. But he did watch as Thena talked with Dragonite, now making the large dragon type laugh and flap his wings in delight. She gestured for him to lean down, swiping some crumbs away with the scarf around his neck. He let her happily, his tail swishing around.

Just like Gil had known Gallade as a shy little Ralts, Thena had been there when Dragonite had hatched as an itty bitty Dratini. She had even held Gil as he'd cried tears of joy after hatching his first egg all on his own, outside of work.

"Fross," the ghost nudged him, telling him to keep watching.

Thena turned her attention to Teddiursa, as the little cub began its part of the conversation. Her smile was bright as it talked and gestured out parts of its story.

Gil loved that smile.

"Froslass."

"Maybe," Gil inhaled, looking at Thena and drifting out of the kitchen as he was drawn to her inexorably. "Maybe you're right."

Gallade's jaw dropped--that was it? He had been trying to convince the ranger and their trainer to act on this for months - although it felt like literal years - and that was all it had taken? The ghost that had joined their team only two months before Teddiursa was the one to convince him?!

"Ninetales," the second-longest standing team member offered in condolences. She picked herself up and wandered back to her bed by the fireplace, content that at least something was going to happen after all this.

Gil slid the patio door open and shut it behind him. "Hey."

"Hey," Thena smiled, twisting around to look at him and tucking one of her legs into the other at the knee. "Teddi was telling me about a herd of Bouffalant in the valley."

"They're migrating," Gil smiled, sitting himself down with a chuckle. For as worked up as he had let himself get mere moments ago, he felt a lot calmer now. Looking at Thena just had that effect on him, maybe. "We're spending the next few days making sure they don't invade the Tauros' space too much as they all settle for the spring."

Thena looked down at their little bear, "would you like to go see them down in the valley tomorrow?"

"Teddi!"

Gil watched the little bear bound up Thena's arm to her shoulder, nuzzling his fuzzy cheek against hers. She picked the bear up to tickle its tummy, relishing in its laughter. And when Teddi laughed, Thena laughed.

"I have the day shift."

Thena looked at Gil, at the sudden declaration and the way he'd said it. "That's good."

"And," he inhaled, trying to keep his focus while Thena looked at him, the wind at her back, the sun on her cheek, the valley slightly out of focus behind her. "Since I'm off nights this week, what about...dinner?"

Thena let out a faint laugh, trying to discern where he was going with this. "Well, you're the one always reminding me to eat it, so I'm sure we could-"

"No, I mean," Gil leaned forward, pulling her extended leg to slide her closer to him. He held her eyes, encouraged by the way her pupils grew wide and her breathing hitched. "Dinner...just you and me."

She blinked at him, her lashes fluttering, breathing quickened. A faint flush rose in her cheeks, "you and me?"

"Me and you," he smiled. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"O-Okay."

Gil wound their fingers together, pulling her closer despite Teddiursa in her lap and Dragonite sitting behind him with its jaw dropped. He let his lips move against Thena's naturally--almost too naturally for being 'just friends'. He pulled back with a grin.

"It's a date."

#Thenamesh Pokemon AU #I have said it once and I'll say it again #Gil has game #Gil can be smooth #for one person and one person only #and obviously that is the love of his life #poor Gallade #he has seen all the signs #he was THERE #for it all #and then Froslass is like bro just ask her #look at the way she smiles you know you can't resist that #and Gallade is like tHAT'S ALL IT TOOK #Ninetales here like I don't know what to tell you dude #but they're both just happy they're going to see their trainer happy #Gallade acts so put out by having to witness their affections #but he'll be waiting around for her to get home like a disgruntled father #he's standing in the kitchen with a coffee mug of water #poor mon just wants to lie on the couch and watch his shows #instead he has to witness Gil and Thena stumbling in the door making out #He shoos Gil away because it's a work night for both of them and also he doesn't wanna see that

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