#i think a lot of other uterus-havers can relate to having weeks where you just get extremely emotional over everything

[silverselfshippingchaos]

guys look at how cute my son is 😭😭😭 I'm in such shambles over him 😭😭😭 I just wanna pat his head and tell him he's doing a good job 😭😭😭

[nevermindirah]

Sooooo since the female body doesn’t register pregnancies as a threat or causing bodily harm(in most cases) would that mean in theory Nile and the other immortal women could get pregnant? And let’s say ends up pregnant with Booker’s kid… How would he respond with that? Would they raise the child, or would Nile reach out to her family and leave the kid with them??? So many possibilities. Your thoughts.

CONTENT WARNING FOR ANON'S MESSAGE: transphobic/cissexist language

Additional content warnings for my response:

discussion of the impact of anon's transphobic language

discussion of pregnancy and childbirth

mention of abortion

mention of suicial ideation

This message stresses me the hell out for several reasons. This anon probably meant well? Maybe? I hope they meant well at least. But it's been a long week and I don't have the energy to write a kind response to this anon. So instead I'm going to address my fandom friends who might see this, and I'm gonna talk about why this message stresses me out, and then maybe I'll have the energy to engage with the potentially fun kernel of BoN ideas buried under the stressful shit.

First of all, "women" and "people who have a uterus" are overlapping but distinct groups of people, and claiming otherwise causes me personally a lot of dysphoria. Please never ever do this where I, or any other trans person, or any person who cares about trans people, can see it. If you, personally, are a woman with a uterus, you can totally talk about your identity as a woman and also your uterus and anything you might be doing with that uterus! Talk about your personal experience all you want! But having a uterus isn't what makes you a woman, and talking about uterus-havers as if we're all women when many of us like me are not or talking about women as if they're all uterus-havers when many of them are not causes a lot of people a lot of harm. Don't ever do it again.

And then there's the claim about uterus-havers' bodies not registering a pregnancy as a threat or a source of bodily harm. Pregnancy can be a life-threatening condition for the pregnant person for a variety of reasons, even before the additional series of life-threatening things that can happen during childbirth. We don't really know all that much from canon about how immortality works, but we do know plenty from real-life science about pregnancy causing bodily harm. Many people survive pregnancy and childbirth just fine, even through multiple pregnancies and births, and that's beautiful — for people who want to carry those pregnancies. Maybe I'm just sensitive from the big pile of dysphoria but this anon's language is giving me anti-abortion vibes.

I typically headcanon all these immortal characters as cis because it would be an absolute nightmare for me to have to navigate hundreds of different cultures' assumptions about my gender. To constantly have to withstand new misgendering from new people and in new languages, to constantly have to either explain myself in words other people can understand or just tolerate the dysphoria their misunderstanding causes me until I can get away from them — FUCK that sounds exhausting. We know from canon that immortality doesn't heal mental illness because Booker's right there with his severe depression and suicidal ideation, and if I with all my social dysphoria were immortal, I'd be right there with him.

But on the flip side of we don't know all that much about how immortality works, sometimes it brings me joy to think about immortality potentially being awesome about trans bodies, how immortality might heal the wound of body dysphoria by providing the magic version of transition-related medical care! Here's a post I wrote a while back about that.

Greg Rucka's said that immortals are infertile and immortals with uteruses don't menstruate. He's not the boss of us though and sometimes it's fun for fic reasons for immortals to retain their fertility!

The one last thing that stresses me the hell out about anon's message before I just focus on the fun stuff is that the very most important thing if Nile were to get pregnant with Booker's kid is how Nile would feel about it. Anon talks as if abortion isn't an option and that's fucked up. Abortion is an option! It's a great option! If you don't want to experience pregnancy, or if you need to make the parenting decision to not bring a child into the world when you're not able to care for them at that time, thank G-d abortion is here to save the day! Please block me if you disagree.

Ok I think we're finally ready for the fun part. I'm gonna rewrite anon's message to remove all the stressful shit so I can focus on the fun part.

So what if immortals who have a uterus could get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term and give birth? If Nile has a uterus and Booker has sperm, and they get bored of all that cunnilingus and pegging we know they love so much and they have PIV sex without a condom and Nile gets pregnant... How would she feel about that? Did she want kids before, and is she interested in carrying a pregnancy now? What does she think about coparenting with Booker? What does she think about bringing a baby into their very complicated lives? And how the hell might Sad Dad TM Booker feel about all this? If Nile ends up giving birth, what would that baby's life be like? Would Nile and Booker take a hiatus from missions? How might they involve the other immortals, and maybe Nile's mortal family if they're still alive in this timeline? Let's not curse Nile with eternity with an immortal infant, but what if the kid becomes immortal on like their 21st birthday? So many possibilities!

I tend to think that before she first died, Nile thought "yeah probably someday kids would be cool" but didn't have a specific plan or anything, and I think she'd have complicated feelings about immortality blowing up how she'd imagined maybe being a parent someday. If immortality means infertility, I think she'd be really upset that the option is gone, but if she did retain her fertility I think she'd have major concerns about bringing a child into her life that now revolves around violence.

I think Booker would be 80% blissed-out thrilled and 20% "oh no what if it happens again what if I fuck up again and they hate me again and they die in pain again". And I think Booker would be the BEST partner of a pregnant person. I mean, let's just extrapolate from canon. "I brought you a change of clothes" and "you're gonna be great for the team" to "I brought you a snack and a blanket and a portable fan, do you want me to rub your feet?" and "you're going to be the most wonderful mother (or parent or whatever word Nile wants to be called here)" and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

And now I'm a little bit obsessed with the idea that once the kid's old enough that Nile and Booker are willing to be away from them for more than 10 minutes, they essentially start coparenting with Nile's brother. "Ok sweetheart time to go to Uncle Indy's house while Mom and Papa go out of town for work!" On the serious end of things, so many conflicting thoughts and feelings about "we're murderers how dare we raise a child" vs "we're fighting for a more just world for our child and everyone else's children" and how their work and the social isolation and grief that comes with immortality might affect their kid. But on the fun end of things, "yay I love going to Uncle Indy's house!! I'll miss you so much but Papa can you help me pack up my crayons so I can make you both lots of pictures to show you when you come home?!"

Here's a ficlet I wrote a while back featuring Tired Parents of a Five-Year-Old BoN, and my dear galaxy-brained friend @sindirimba recently gifted us all with this take on BoN as parents!