#make my torture worth it
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Hello, Tumblr, and I hope you had a merry holiday (or simply enjoyed the weekend off)! I am so excited to finally share some absolutely amazing news: There's an audio book of His Secret Illuminations, and it is available for purchase now!!!
[intense, relieved, distant screaming]
I am so pumped about this you wouldn't even believe it. I started trying to produce this audio book in June of this year. June. You might note that it is now December. This is a project six months in the making. I went through multiple rounds of auditions and thought I'd found a narrator twice and both times they had to back out of recording. I exhausted everyone who sounded right at one service and went to fellow self-published fantasy author Virginia McClain for advice, and she pointed me to Antoine Bandele of AB Book Services and his roster of narrators, where I found Martin Martinez. Martin auditioned for me with a perfectly sweet Lucían and a wonderfully strong Glory. His reading was deft and playful and exactly what I'd been hoping for, and the sex scenes? Well, to quote the illustrious burlesque icon Miss Kitty Baby: "There won't be a dry seat in the house."
Please give it a listen if you're an audio book person, or tell your friends to give it a listen if you aren't. Martin really gave a beautiful performance, and I think everyone should hear the heart and soul he gave these characters.
(People other than me definitely need to hear it. I have listened to the entire thing three times as I reviewed it, which is too many times for an author to have to be presented with their writing from three years ago in a medium where they cannot elide certain word choices they would not have made now. It's a great audio book! It really is! I never want to listen to it again!)
Ahem.
Where can I buy it?
On several platforms that audio books are sold, with more coming soon! Here are some specific places:
https://scarlettgaleauthor.com/shop/audio-books https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/his-secret-illuminations-scarlett-gale/1142856730 https://bingebooks.com/book/his-secret-illuminations https://www.scribd.com/audiobook/614996148/His-Secret-Illuminations-Their-adventure-will-test-his-skill-and-his-self-control https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9781669668374 https://www.storytel.com/se/sv/books/3683133 https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/his-secret-illuminations-2 https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details/Scarlett_Gale_His_Secret_Illuminations?id=AQAAAEDCkgXS1M https://www.chirpbooks.com/audiobooks/his-secret-illuminations-by-scarlett-gale https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/his-secret-illuminations-their-adventure-will-test-his-skill-and-his-self-control/653033
Not at Amazon/Audible?
Not yet, anyway! It's been submitted to them for review and is still pending. The audio book will be available on Amazon... eventually.
Where should I buy it?
Wherever is easiest for you! That said, if your goal is to support me as directly as possible, please consider buying it from my website.
It's a little more troublesome (I had to break it into five parts in order to get around the file size limit) but everything I sell on my website is DRM-free and I get the entire $24.99 cover price (minus credit card fees). Purchasing it through another platform means I only get the royalties, which end up between 20% and 50% of the cover price.
When will His Sacred Incantations be available as an audio book?
The unfortunately mercenary answer here is "As soon as I can afford to produce it." As a self-published author I am on the financial hook for anything and everything I want to do with my books. Part of the reason it took this long to get the first book produced was because I needed to save up enough to pay for the production of it. His Secret Illuminations cost about $3600, which I paid out of pocket. I expect that His Sacred Incantations will cost about the same. I hope to be able to produce it in 2023--the better my sales are, the sooner I can get started!
P.S. If I manage to sell 144 copies of this audio book through my website, that will cover almost the entire cost of producing the second book.
How can I help out?
Spread the word about the audio book! As Patrons you get the news first, but I'll be sharing this on social media in the next couple of days. Like, retweet, reblog, reshare, leave good reviews of the audio book where appropriate--all of that is a huge help to me, someone who is her own marketing department.
Thank you so much for your support! May your holidays be happy, and your winter nights warm.
#news!#his secret illuminations#audio book#writing#seriously it's so good#please listen to it#make my torture worth it
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My Ex-Morning (Trailer)
#my ex-morning#my ex morning#gmmtv#gmmtv 2024#gmmtv 2024 part 2#kristsingto#singtokrist#krist perawat#singto prachaya#gmmtv series#thai series#bl series#bl shows#bl drama#asian lgbtq dramas#thai bl#thai drama#this blue grey filter a la pit babe is fr hell to color fr#why are all companies suddenly using it. please stop. why you enjoy torturing us T^T#these 2 cutiessss makes it worth it#but idk if i'll make gifs from the actual show unless the get rid of this tho#also the tension in this ✨✨✨
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Tamsand timeline as told in ACOLAR.
Using the free day of @officialrhysandweek to gush about my favourite piece of ACOTAR fan content out there.
@ashintheairlikesnow can you tell I really liked your fic? I REALLY liked your fic.
#acotar#acotar fanart#my art#acolar#rhysandweek2023#rhysand#tamlin#tamsand#amarantha#lucien vanserra#tw: rape#tw: torture#tw: blood#DO YOU LIKE THE COLOR OF THE TAMSAND#this took me two weeks to make it was painful#but well worth it#i was so reluctant to cut tamlin's hair at first#but he actually looks super cute like this#should have never doubted my queen for she has excellent taste
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So guess who finally watched JJK
#I went from watching Dungeon Meshi earlier this month to watching JJK and I haven’t watched a shounen in literal years so#I can found dead in a ditch after being beaten bloody and raw holy shit#I like knew it would but dark but like Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker I was not expecting that#I still need to read the manga but like damn I need a moment after that#so far I can say JJK is in fact worth the hype and has consumed my soul#Yuuji Itadori my absolute beloved I love you so much I would die for you with zero hesitation#he’s my favorite character and I only want good things for him so so badly and I also want to torture him#I have a deep love hate relationship with Sukuna that kinda haunts me#Megumi is so funky I like him a lot#an absolute madman pretending to be the straight man in bits and no I will not be taking criticism on this opinion#kugisaki my girl you deserve more screen time please let her shine#nanamin you will also haunt me#I didn’t want to like Gojo I was like I am above simping for him and then I’m putting on the clown make up and THEN#They put him in a box just as I went goddamn it I am down bad for Gojo Satoru like COME ON#Anyway Suguru and his eye bags and depression and deeply rooted issues compelled me#Satosugu brain rot is in fact and real and can hurt me#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#shibuya arc#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento#satosugu#ryomen sukuna
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i cannot believe that since i posted the last chapter of my zhongli multichap (in july 2022) right
ive gotten engaged
ive gotten married
AND
ive gotten pregnant 🧍🏼♀️
specifically pregnant with identical twins 🧍🏼♀️🧍🏼♀️
#c shut up#i had a much sappier announcement planned but this is funnier#anyways this doesnt rly explain why ive been so MIA but im using it as an excuse#but truly ive just been in limbo when it comes to#hyperfixations and i have no writing motivation#and im not on my PC as much as i used to which is how i mostly enjoy going on tumblr#all to say is i do miss being on here as much but im doing ok!!#im just navigating a new part of my life being married in our house and now this so#its an adjustment period for me still#also i was going to wait another week or so to actually share this but i jusr ive been holding it in for 7 weeks actually and its been#torture LOLL#i have no plans on sharing publicly irl on like my irl socials but#i wanna share here <3#anyways new tags from me days later i was going to hesitate posting this again but today was a stinky day#and i want to share some happy news to cheer me up perhaps#idk if that makes sense i might also delete this post#eventually#but idk i just wanna share :(#no matter what happens this is going on right now and its worth celebrating!!#c’s baby tag
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How draw like you T^T
Do you have any advice for learning to draw better? Like, resources or practices or anything?
Time. and referencing. No way around it but to put in the hours.
#ask#some variation of this question has been asked and answered millions of times#I’ve asked it myself to artists I like#but honestly you just gotta put in the hours#it sucks because I hate patience and practice LOL I wanna be good instantly#tho I will say#unless you’re trying to be come a career artist dont push yourself to draw anything u don’t want to#for years I just drew cute girls and gay people and then eventually I had to learn bgs in order to make my cute girls and gay ppl more cool#and same w props etc etc etc#I tried to learn rendering for a while but is just not fun to me#and then I was like wait why am I pushing myself to unfun art? I don’t need to be career skilled#it’s just a hobby#so yeah like there is ofc worth in studies and pushing urself a bit#but for my fellow hobbyists: it’ll come naturally eventually as u want to make ur pieces shine. dont torture urself#and for u anon. just put in the years#some stuff like iterative drawing and again references can speed it up a bit#draw daily if u want to shorten the years to improve#but overall the hours to learn will be mostly the same.#I myself have many years to go still and many hours before I’m at where I want to be haha
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When that sky rains fire on you, and you’re persona non grata I’ll tell you how I’ve been there too and that none of it matters.
Taylor Swift — The Albatross Good Omens (S1E1, S2E6)
#this song made me think of them today#the immediate good omens brain that activated with religious imagery is insane#“only liquor anoints you” are you KIDDING ME.#cross your thoughtless heart is so crowley#good omens#go#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#ineffable divorce#crowley#aj crowley#anthony j crowley#aziraphale#taylor swift#my gifs#fizz originals#did i learn to make gifs only for this???? yeah#was it worth it?? yeah#old video editing experience did come in clutch#they are far from perfect but they are not Mega Ugly so#the tortured poets department#ttpd
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do you have any good references for kiss scenes 🥲
of course!! let me know if you want/need more :D
fics for reference: good kiss scenes
the art of missing the ground - not too exaggerated of a kiss, feels very natural, sweet
paths are made by walking - a bit spicier ig?? i dunno these are more lighthearted
where you go, i will follow - kiss has meaning!!! kiss as a plot device!! good example of more 'negative' reasons ig (still soft tho)
but you saw enough - more climactic? also kinda spicier soooo...? (help me)
pick me up and dust me off - literally so soft you will get cavities. top tier fic. natural kiss too, not too exaggerated
shrapnel - good example, shows that not every relationship has to begin with or star a kiss
(ain't nothin' like) the real thing - definitely spicier. nice example of buildup and that good ol climactic approach where you're literally just screaming 'oh my god kiss already'
listen (he's already told you five times) - another good example of when kissing is not the only form of love!
i counted days, i counted miles - excellent buildup, the kiss has... meaning? it isn't just a kiss yknow it has emotional depth
but we can try - also has meaning. i'm not a huge fan of the trope where like 'oh they aren't in love/dating until they kiss' but this fic actually writes it really well!
#first off#you're all welcome#because this was torturous#jk jk love u all#list#references#writing references#fic recs#fic rec#sobbing#never make me do this again#my aspec heart is dying#jk jk#hashtag worth it#are 90% of these marvel?#yes#do i regret it?#no#NEVER#also#in case you were wondering#i used the word kiss eleven times in this post#eLEVEN TIMES#11#whole#times#i am unwell /lh
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trying to reheat leftovers is like creating a bomb. you gotta be very percise, down to the millisecond, or it's not gonna be right.
#i just want to eat my goddamn see-ew noodles but I SWEAR the microwave has a personal vendetta against them#also worth noting i don't have experience with making bombs#please don't report me#i swear the closest thing to illegal i've done is testing out chinese water torture on my friend but we were both twelve and in my defense#he agreed to it
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#hyperspecific poll#really stretching my 'don't post anything that would make people who know me in real life realize this is me' rule#but this looked so fun and I have so many silly things#fuck that orthodontist though#the whole way through he was doing these incredibly painful things and being like 'i think this has an about 10% chance of working'#and then when it did actually work he treated it like a success story#when for me it was just meaningless torture#that I guess means more than just my back teeth can touch now...#not worth it at all
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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after all the times Rhaenyra lied through teeth, she never got any better at it.
#props to#emma d'arcy#cause her acting is phenomenal when it comes to making Rhaenyra flounder whenever she lies#lukewarm feelings on Rhaenyra Targaryen#anti rhaenyra targaryen#(putting this here for my own safety and well being)#its just so frustrating to see her do literally anything to cover her lies#from murder. maiming. faking ones death. seeking to torture her own little brother. etc. etc.#yet she can't lie to anyone worth a damn#not once has anyone not seen past her lies#like girly... if you and your children's lives depend on you keeping your card house of lies standing#get better at lying#hotd#house of the dragon#rewatching hotd is hell cause every time I do so I notice more and more bones to pick#like the first time theres just so much to absorb you miss a lot of it#but the more you watch it#the more you notice#the more you want to rip your hair out
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Perhaps i should be writing down these conversations in my head that i’m crafting until they are spotlessly clever, because at the end of the day, i can write dialogue much better than i can “shoot my shot,” which consists at looking at you longingly & fumbling conversations in bars and elevators. and at this point i have enough pre-practiced dialogue content prepared for a small, yet rambling novel. but, then again, you’ve complimented my writing voice several times, so maybe there’s merit in making that voice vocal.
#This feeling will not be different until i move to another city i fear#and even then it won’t fade it’ll just be different#YO HOW DOES ANYONE DO ANYTHING ANY OF THR TIME. SORRY#everyday i make it more complicated with myself but it’s really more about my fear of embarrassment#What if i’m too earnest. and the snipers get me#Really the point is if i MANAGE to get the CHANCE to say something now#is the risk of 5 awkward months worth the reward. Maybe it is#a crush is a self-inflicted form of psychological torture. ok bye#my posts
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I have to believe that the small things I do matter even though I barely get any notice or feedback. Probably because they're so small people barely notice them. Even small things take a lot of effort from me, or seem to.
I have hope, otherwise I wouldn't do them and would give up.
I do wish I could do more than just small things. At least know i made a difference in some way. Perhaps these things are too small... well, they do matter but larger things would make more of an impact. If I could do more than just post things on social media that barely get any response. (Or have enough $ to give more than just a drop in the bucket) Or if I could help the people who really need it, be part of rescuing them. Make a difference so i actually help save someone, and so I know that I'm not just doing just the minimum, barely above nothing.
Small things matter, but larger things matter more since they actually help get things done rather than being a tiny pinpoint against the dark (so small most ppl might need a telescope)
I want to be able to help more, be someone who can do something meaningful for the things I care about. But am I even capable of more than this -- mentally or emotionally capable of doing something meaningful. Having the capacity to do something valuable that someone actually wants (research/writing that helps the ones being hurt by russia; fight Russian propaganda; raise awareness/ be an influencer-- be an expert that people listen to and respect-- "make the world a better place") - how when I'm the sort of person (could i become stronger, tougher when I'm this sensitive artist-- part of the reason I care in the 1st place...) that falls apart at small amount of pressure-- if things got so bad I was threatened with prison, bodily harm-- would i back down? Would I acquiesce bc I was too scared? Have convictions but suppress them? Or by "accepting" the awful reality, the evil overlords, would I begin to gradually accept what they do-- I would be responsible for allowing them to hurt others. But i wouldn't be able to do much against them in the 1st place. One could easily expect this cowardly position from me despite my convictions-- but would it come down to it, would i make the right choice? What would going to prison do other than hurt me- no one would notice. I would know. Someone has to stand up to it... if no one does, if they all give in, of course the darkness wins then. Few would notice if i died standing up for what's right. Being such an insignificant person, how much would it matter either way. Perhaps it would make a difference in some way... perhaps give my life meaning... or perhaps standing up for it would mean staying true to my convictions, true to myself... do i really believe it if I'm not willing to sacrifice for it. I would at least find out what i was made of, if I was capable of doing the right thing under impossible pressure (somehow not fall apart.... find the strength in the end
#why im inspired by these “sensitive#ppl who still stand up to the russian systrm#ukraine#political prisoners#me#story#in the end...#right and light and good...#exist Nd worth dying for#or being tortured for... which may be worse#i want to HAVE MY WRITING MAKE AN IMPACT#help the ones who need help most#and have an impact on the situation#at least fellow Americans#but few even know me and those that do....#dont respect me s....o..#but does it matter#gah i just wish i could KNOW what i do does something#i really have to do more#degree?#what could i do that would have maximum impact?#what im made for?#i have this in my soul for a reason.....#i see the world in this way: conflict between light and dark#maybe others dont see it like this so i cant convince them in this wsy but how when this is what convinces me#i had too much caffein and sugar this morning......
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also we love a woman who goes from shyly biting your neck and clinging to you, to biting your wrist while maintaining eye contact. we love a woman who gains her confidence over time <3
#chiyo at first: this is embarrassing and mortifying everything about it don't frikkin look at me--#chiyo a while later: i know exactly how attractive all of this makes me now and i /will/ be torturing you with it <3#ooooh my head is killing me and i gotta go to bed in a minute here but chiyo... what a woman#in general i feel like chiyo grows so bold once she's comfortable#nothing is gonna stop her from being the biggest menace to your muse once she trusts them with her heart#rip their peace but it's worth it i promise <3#get ready to ramble | ooc#edit: i just realized i didn't specify this is in her vampire verse asdfg
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ohhh sunday evening we're really.in it now.....
#just thought about some things. and now im so sad i want to throw up. well thats on me i shouldnt have thought about them#man. back to the torture labyrinth. nothing ever changes#whatever this is probably just my meds wearing off. at least [topic of rumination] isnt a reality i have to face just yet so its fine#not worth making myself mentally ill just over the thought of it ill save that for it if it actually happens 👍#.diaries#lets out a big doglike sigh. who wants to take me out back and shoot me. im kidding. maybe. im gonna go make pasta
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