#make me heard
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inhaling so heavily so so heavily,, hey guys its me im back. ninjago. This is just a huge rant about me HATING how trauma is handled in this show. ignore this if you do not want to see my HORRORS.
WHY. IS TRAUMA NOT A FUCKING THING IN THIS STUPID ASS SHOW. Im on another rewatch because im FUCKING INSANE but it drives me actually mad that there are so many downright horrific things that happen to these characters that are just NEVER addressed. lets talkabout the fucking first one that caught my eye when I was first watching the show!!! Im basically going from least infuriating to most infuriating, im trying to cut this show some slack but dear god. !!WHY IS COLE OKAY MAN. HE LITERALLY DIEEED. HE TURNED INTO A GHOST. listen Iknow ninjago death means nothing, and im going to talk about that too but he literally could have ceased to exist if he so much as touched water. after he got his body back, why was this never FUCKING mentioned. I think. if I was in a perpetual state of being horrified my existence would amount to nothing and id just stop BEING when I touched some clear shit coming out of my sink id be pretty scarred for life. I loved possession man, but this happened to TWO CHARACTERS. TWOOO. AND THE OTHER CHARACTER IS LLOYD. lets not even MENTION that hes been exploited the moment everyone found out he was a green ninja, and before that a bunch of grown ass people were bullying a CHILD WHO IS ACTUALLY HOMELESS, lets talk about how his fucking body was taken over by Morro while he ALSO worries about his DAD BEING STUCK IN THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD. IM LOSING IT. IM LOSSINGG ITT. On a smaller note, MISAKO ABANDONED LLOYD. KILL HER. I am the hashtag misako hater garmadon deserves better. The show made no attempt for them to bond or try to make amends for what happened when Lloyd was a kid, she barely appears at all really and it just makes me fucking despise her. ALSO MORRO. this kid. reminding you, CHILD, fucking died in a cave. the cave we SAW in the pilot, if i remember right which is FUCKING INSANE>,,?? we SEE HIS SKELETON. THAT IS A CHILDS SKELETON. never mentioned again after episode 8 I don't think. now the MEAT. THE MEATT. whatever the FUCK went on with garmadon after he got resurrected. They actually did cover this a bit with how Lloyd acted around garmadon, but crystalized also sucked ass and really gave us nothing on how Garmadon felt about this. on god im so sick that hes so normal shaped in crystalized too, He was literally growling with every breath in sons of garmadon why is he normal now. Its been years, i get it. also the Garmadon comic. but he SHOULDNT be a normal person whos just an asshole, I want him to be feral okay?? ok??? I am playfully gesturing to Devils Horns by TeuthidaRegina (did i spell that right. idk man. Its a super fucking good fanfic.)
ALSO Vinnys apartment is very inaccurate there should be scratch marks on the walls and then they should kiss. ANYWAYS Besides this, Lloyd being mad at Garmadon was really all we got for how *he* was effected by his once loving father now randomly coming back with his ribs exposed and only being able to say like. 3 words. and also him immediately trying to kill Lloyd. I feel like we should have gotten a LOT more man. Now this isn't really a problem with the show (Its a huge problem in crystalized but that's a given) but more a problem with the fandom, so that's why I'm putting it at the end. this does not hold relevancy over garmadon becoming a BEAST. (also garmadon becoming a beast is the best thing that ever happened in this show btw. you all are wrong and he should have been animalistic from the beginning. still nice. but he should have also growled. all the time.) My issue is with how people portray harumi. I already had my Harumi spout in a post I made earlier, but I only mentioned the toxicity of the ship with her and Lloyd a little bit. Let us THINK BACK on how she literally feels nothing for Lloyd at all. He was a stepping stone in getting Garmadon back, and she probably straight up hates him. She pretends to like him to manipulate him into helping her resurrect garmadon ok?? do we understand?? Ive seen actual tags on AO3 that say "no harumi hate here" and I am so done. all the harumi hate. dont FUCKING talk to me if you want to justify the downright horrendous things shes done. That ship is toxic as hell and Lloyd is downright being abused AGAIN for like the FIVE BILLIONTH TIME IN HIS LIFE. I dont care man. shes an abusive bitch. i HATE HER. Crystalized made the worst fucking decision trying to justify her and I genuinely hate whoever thought that was a good and right decision to make. If she comes back in dragons rising i hope she dies AGAIN, but Im honestly rooting for them to ignore crystalized's existence. Now finally, this is the absolute peak of how Ninjago shittily handles trauma. the ICE EMPEROR. Zane was stuck in a fucking hellscape of a realm for like. what was it. EIGHTY YEARS??? he went fucking mad man, he turned into a bloodthirsty tyrant during that time. and when this seasons conflict was fixed with the "power of friendship" the show literally mentions that the ice emperor is STILL INSIDE ZANES NOGGIN. AND WHAT DOTHEY DOO?? THEY MAKE IT INTO A FUCKING JOKE. its honestly almost disgusting to me how they handled it, Zane has DIED BEFORE. that's bad. he should have trauma. BUT Zane LITERALLY HAS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT. ACTUALLY. HE SHOULD HAVE SOME RELUCTANCE TO USING HIS POWERS OR SOMETHING, ANYTHING MAN. HE KILLLED AN ENTIRE RACEE. Genuinely this is one of my favorite shows, and I love adding onto the shaky ass plot and making it better, but I cannot DEAL with this. Im going to throw in the shit that happened in the spinjitzu brothers book, because oh my god Wu and Garmadon should be fucked up with all the stuff they have had to deal with for like. 5 thousand years. but its fine. its okay. its the book series. I wont mention it. (that book series is so good please release the final book please) ((I LOVE wu and garmadon they are some of my favorite characters in the ENTIRE series im blinking my eyes at you. please go indepth on those two. also give Wu a dragon form, or an Oni form, or literally anything he IS NOT HUMAN.) Also if anyone tells me im ignoring skybound its because I do not need to say anything about skybound. we all know what happened. we ALLL know what the fuck they did to Nya. and fucking. mister possibly a pedo creep man who does not care about consent. I dont even remember his name thats how bad I hate him .
#Im so done#im also scared#my RANTS#LISTEN TO ME RANT#I am unwell#and not okay#please#ninjago#lego ninjago#Im kind of afraid to tag this but I need people to engage with me pretty please#make me heard#FUCK IT. IM COMMITING GUYS#lord garmadon#ninjago misako#lloyd garmadon#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago harumi#Im not doing the tags with their last names. too many of them.#vinny isnt mentioned enough for me to tag him. sorry bbg.
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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#funny talking tag#My favorite thing to do is HC characters as trans but also that they've never heard that term before and act accordingly.#My other favorite thing to do is make characters repressed.#My other other favorite thing to do is make a character go ''I feel like a(n) object/animal/thing pretending to be a man/woman''#''but I don't really care about that right now I have a job''#Anyway while this post can be about whichever characters you feel fit I made this with a certain character in mind.#(Dimentio of SPM fame) (He has something really specific going on that makes me cackle) (You can ask me about it)#(Also Morceau Oleander is a trans woman to me because she would be happier)#(and she deserves to live a life not defined by other's expectations of her)#Someone put a forbidden and ancient curse on this post so no more.
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Guys ive been reading peak
#dandadan#momo ayase#ayase momo#okarun#seiko ayase#ayase seiko#cant believe the actual plot of this show is “this guy's genitals were stolen and we have to get them back” 💀#theyre so funny i love these guys#its like if mob psycho and csm had a foolish baby#the stupids ever#dont get scared by that one scene in that first episode thats the worst it ever gets i heard the creator was forced to put it in or no manga#just like olan and that piss fight scene in final space sighhhhhhhh evil people in charge..............#okarun and ayase are so silly i love them sm they make me go YYYAAAAYYYYYY ^_^^^^^^^^^^#ignore the bad sizing for the letters my handwrutung is naturally horrible plus i was hella zoomed in shhhhhhhhhhh you see nothing........#LIVE LAUGH LOVE !!!!!!!! YAYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!
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every image of a tawny frogmouth is perfection. i've never seen a single picture of a tawny that dissapoints.
#they're stunning. theyre dignified. theyre old and scruffly. they're invisble. theyre adorable. theyre sillygoofy.#theyre adorably grouchy. theyre full of love. theyre ugly as hell. theyre gorgeous. theyre scared little animals. theyre wise storytellers.#and i genuinely am not saying this to be XD quirkyty or anything but. podargus strigoides is the cutest latin name i've EVER heard.#theyre perfect. everything to me. make me smile in the darkest of times#tawnies
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surrounding myself with a bubble of diversity and self love and body positivity online and then being exposed to normies who actually care about conventional beauty standards feels so fucking bizarre. like you people just live like this??? are you not tired???
#eliot posts#had to spend the week around my sister#and heard her talking about how much she wished she could remove/change certain aspects of her face#aspects which i also have#and generally like about myself and consider to be part of my charm#like girl what the fuck is a buccal fat#yinz are just making shit up to fuck with me i swear
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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the PJO fandom working their butts off to find two italian babies in the background only to realize the Easter egg is Nico calling for Bianca around the 12:3 mark.
#literally just checked it out#heard Nico calling Bianca twice he sounds so small and it makes me wanna tear up#veggie tells#pjo#pjo series#pjo fandom#pjo spoilers#pjo tv show#percy jackson series#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#nico di angelo#besure to listen CLOSELY i had to play it mutiple times until his voice broke through the crowd jumble
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Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#tape girl#glitchtrap#fnaf help wanted#fnaf fanart#TAPE GIRL MENTIONED 🔥🔥#THIS IS AN UNSERIOUS COMIC BTW..#just a lil gaff a goof even#people always ask why Vanessa kept playing the vr game and putting the tapes together#easy answer… she just liked tape girls voice#checkmate theorists/j#NAH fr I actually like that Vanessa’s curiosity truly outweighed fear of any kind#makes sense being a beta tester she of course want to investigate#this comic was kinda an excuse to draw tape girl out#I haven’t seen a ton of fanart of her like ever#so think the girl deserves some love 🩵#she’s similar to phone guy/dude so she deserves more hype me thinks#the fact there’s no can’t of her with a tape recorder as her heard is criminal#she deserved it maybe I’ll do it myself as a bit we’ll see#I love Vanessa being a failgirl 🧡🤍🩷
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dinner (?) plans
#i heard this audio and it wouldnt leave my fucking mind#was GOING to make it try to communicate a fight instead of 'dinner' but i think it works out just as well#gabriel#v1#gabv1el#their dynamic. somewhat. to me#ultrakill#gen art#animations
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reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.
#not that anyone but me probably needs to hear this but…#it’s OKAY to have Big Feelings about popular things#they’re popular for a reason - it makes sense to have a big reaction#but yeah - i should really know by now but i’m STILL floored every time i read or watch a classic and it Gets Me#like. this story has been Getting people for decades or centuries or MILLENNIA and yet STILL i’m surprised#‘i didn’t think the story would Get me’ says man about story that’s Gotten everyone who’s ever heard it
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is”#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it”#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
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(draconifies your zelink) oh whoops lol
+ an extra pic of em hanging out together :]
btw, you can find these guys on inprnt! both as a pair, or apart :] You Choose.
#(the weakest pitiful coughs youve ever heard) yay#modelled off those ancient scythian deer tattoos..... i like how theyre posed and thought itd be fun. also feat slight ld redesign#makes em look like how they'd might appear on a mural together. ish. LOL i get too impatient to try stylising that much#light dragon#loz#totk#dragon link#totk spoilers#link#zelda#princess zelda#totk au#loz au#tloz#artists on tumblr#sighs. is this enough tags. i hope so#this is very much for Me though bcus i have too many thoughts abt botw/totk dragons. its silly#i was glad to draw my boy again though. i have more ideas for him that ill get around to in like. uhhh. Who Knows.#my art#zelink#you know what. ill add it here too in like the loosest most tragic sense possible#what if we were trapped in mindless eternity forever....... together <3#dragon link au
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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I had a vision
Also bonus:
#i can't believe I made this entire post because I saw Charles throw a molotov at a demon and all i heard was 'BORTLES'#thats literally the only reason I made it and then it escalated#shows about the afterlife my beloved#making this made me realise who the night nurse reminded me of#and it was s2 michael muttering *people = good* over and over again#the good place#tgp#dead boy detectives#dbda
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