#made me absolutely lose it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zishuge · 1 year ago

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I'm supposed to be working but instead I'm thinking about Li Lianhua growing vegetables and how, once upon a time, he was so happy that he almost cried when he finally managed to grow some turnips.

Thinking about how he must've been at rock bottom then - sick, injured, heartbroken, having just lost in one fell swoop everyone and everything he's ever cared about. His shixiong, dead. He believes it's his fault. His shifu, dead. He believes it's his fault. His sect, in ruins. He believes it's his fault. His people no longer believe in him. A-Mian doesn't love him anymore. It's all his fault, it's all his fault.

He doesn't have Hulijing yet. He's alone. He's heartsick. He'll be dead in ten years, or much sooner than that if he can't find some food and shelter. His Sigu Sect leader token is only worth 50 taels of silver. It turns out everything he has built his life around is worth only 50 taels of silver. I can hear his self-deprecating laugh. How foolish he must've felt, having his life's ambition put so violently and abruptly into perspective.

Have you ever been so despondent that you cling desperately to just one thing, anything, that you can focus on in order to not think about everything else? So: turnips.

Tending, weeding, watering, counting, day by day by slowly passing day. The vegetables grow and he survives. And finally, one day, he discovers that against all odds, he has turnips. These hands which he believes have caused the destruction of all that he once held dear, somehow managed to nurture creation and support life. Everything and everyone is gone, but here in his hands is this one small glimmer of hope that perhaps he is not only capable of ruin. How happy he must've been. Was it the first time he felt joy since before the East Sea battle? How he must've wanted to tell someone, but there was no one there.

You know who he must've most wanted to tell? His shifu. His shifu, who once told him that he didn't care about Xiangyi becoming any great martial artist. Just eat well, drink well, and live well. Maybe kneeling there in the dirt, gently cradling his small misshapen turnips in his hands — maybe that's when Li Lianhua finally understands what Shifu meant.

#and so he promised himself he would do nothing but try to live by shifu's words for the rest of his life #of course that is until fang duobing crashed into it #mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #word vomit #it's li lianhua feels hours #when i tell you that that one scene of him tending to his turnips #made me absolutely lose it #i had to pause because i was sobbing so hard i couldn't see the screen #i can't have been the only one #just imagining what he must've felt then #every time i think about it my heart aches #i'm sorry this is so long i just can't stop thinking about it and need to get it down #i have to go cuddle my dog now #my ramblings #text

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hinamie · 4 months ago

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alongside someone like you

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #itafushi #fushiita #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk 266 #jjk leaks #i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED #collapses dead #cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning #2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed #rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing #n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it #clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings #1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what #but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal #third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog #oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute #also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless #cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u #ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile

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whatudottu · 3 months ago

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Me and the homies I dragged into playing ISAT with me (voice over style) and thus thoroughly infecting them with the ISAT hyperfixation gathered to play poker and so- drew us VAs as the cast give or take some liberties :P

#mirabelle #mirabelle isat #mirabelle chevalier #isabeau #isabeau isat #siffrin #siffrin isat #bonnie #bonnie isat #odile #odile isat #in stars and time #isat #who let a child gamble (these 4 adults)#no money was involved just some very weighty very pretty actual poker chips so that was cool #by 'creative liberties' i mean that me and my friend (we voiced bonnie and odile) were the first ones out (aka why odile is losing)#and i used the time being 'broke' to draw and was deciding between bonnie drawing at the table and odile dealer #or just go with a more in character interpretation of how the two would play poker #you can't see her expression but odile is annoyed she's the first to lose #or on the verge of it #my friend who played isabeau absolutely creamed us and the friend who played siffrin made a chip pyramid #mirabelle is checking because the player for her also played morgan from of the devil so we learnt that check sign :P #also i wanted to draw a serious mirabelle #honestly lowkey (highkey actually) my most favourite part of this is how i drew bonnie's hands #like they're balled fists but also that's just literally a thumb and you'd think it wouldn't work but it DOES and i LOVE IT #kinda like how the actual portraits of bonnie have balled fists but defined fingers regardless but in an original pose :P

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lotus-pear · 17 days ago

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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second #genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent #she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice #in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid #how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka #selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again #her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey #she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process #becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain #finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making #last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died #sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me #genuinely just like. sick and twisted #very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl #harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become #actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break #refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them #last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring #being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn #also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make #i have a type i fear #HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series #meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice #i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀

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becca-e-barnes · 2 years ago

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I’m literally drooling over the thought of sensitive Bucky whimpering and whining while fucking your tits and thighs he’s so pathetic and needy all he wants is to make you feel good and to fill you with his cum even if it overstimulates him

Okay, tit fucking is great and all but thigh fucking is SO underrated in my humble opinion. Could just be the fact I've got a small chest though lmao

It's so fun when you're already really into it and the insides of your thighs are all slick. I feel like Bucky would lose it, getting to see your face and look in your eyes and enjoy your body.

It's a nice one to do while laid on your side, facing each other. Although the angle isn't quite right for him to slip inside you, it's fun to explore the other ways your bodies can steal pleasure from one another.

"This isn't going to work, sweetheart." You can't help but laugh, having already tried everything you can think of to make the height difference work. There's no way to keep this romantic and intimate in that position because there's just no chance of aligning your bodies properly to allow him to press inside you.

"Maybe not. But it feels nice anyway." His eyes flutter shut, gliding his dick over the smooth, soft, warm insides of your thighs, encouraged by how slick and easy your arousal makes the movement.

You adjust yourself to bring your other thigh on top of his length, closing him in on both sides.

You're wet enough that friction doesn't impede his movement too much and there's something oddly romantic about it. Maybe it's his hand smoothing the back of your head or his other hand up your back, pulling your body closer to his.

It's so intimate, watching his face as he whines your name, rutting senselessly against your thighs. The little flush to his cheeks is beautiful and you can't resist kissing the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. The thick duvet on top of you both, coupled with your combined body heat means the room is far hotter than you'd planned.

You take a second to reach between your bodies, spreading your wet folds and readjusting his length, letting him drag his cock against your neglected clit with each stroke and oh, that's pretty mind-blowing.

"O-oh my God." He whines, desperately fucking himself against your wet cunt, rather than into it. It's a different kind of pleasure to being inside you and while they're not comparable sensations, it doesn't stop this from feeling fantastic.

"Fuck, that's good." You groan, rolling your hips to meet his. Your fingers dip between you once more, gathering some of your slick arousal, using it to glide your fingertips over the underside of his shaft and over his balls.

"Holy shit, that's - fuck." Bucky's hardly got a coherent thought left in his head. He's closed in on both sides by your wet, soft thighs and now your fingers are giving him a different sensation underneath while pressing him against your soaked sex.

"I know, baby. Feels good, doesn't it?" Your fingertips trail lightly back and forth over the underside of his shaft, focusing on the inch or so beneath the tip.

"I can't... I need to cum." He groans, thrusting frantically, clinging to your body to keep you close. Within a few seconds, you feel his dick pulse under your fingertips, his cum coating the inside of your thighs in hot, thick, messy spurts.

He doesn't waste a second, kissing your forehead before kissing your neck and whispering "Good girl. Now let me watch you get yourself off with my cum on your fingertips."

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #anon #needy!bucky #Bucky Barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #sub!bucky #was this one something I've been fortunate enough to try? Absolutely.#and has it bounced around in my head ever since?? yep #I've got so many 💦sports asks #and I've been really hesitant to answer them bc I have people I know irl on here now #but honestly if my interests so far haven't freaked you out #those probably won't either #I made the best overnight oats last night I've been thinking about them all day #white chocolate chunks with raspberries and peanut butter #with oat milk #and I'm using that to distract me from the fact I'm locked out of my work emails and I can't do my Sunday evening email clear up #it's freaking me out that I can't get into them #that'll mean I have so much to do tomorrow morning #I'll probably lose my hour home on the train tomorrow trying to catch up #I love my hour to work and my hour home from work on the train #that's my me time #where I read my silly little book and chill

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monstermoviedean · 3 months ago

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"but what about-" shhh. one of these two. "but the character-" no this is about the outfit/styling/hair/makeup/overall look only. if hotness is a metric that works for you, pick whichever look is hotter to you. if not, pick whichever look you like better.

(poll inspiration)

#I have had this in my drafts since the original post was made and just never posted it #i was trying to decide which one would make dean lose his mind more #but ultimately decided to broaden the audience #in other words: which one would make your sandwich fall out of your mouth more #(not making fun of you AT ALL daphne because one of these would absolutely make me lose my sandwich)#like drop it on the floor lose it

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the-final-sif · 1 year ago

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The QSMP is bad enough as it is, but it's even worse when you consider how much they're appropriating omegas' nesting instincts with all their drama over their eggs. And most of the people on the server are either alphas or betas. There is like one omega on that server. It's so fucked up. I bet half the reason that Q even made the server was because he was being omegaphobic to Dream

I'll be honest, I've got mixed feelings about the eggs. Like, I mean, let me be clear I don't think Q started his server to be omegaphobic, but I think the eggs are kinda problematic and really do border on bait. Seeing alphas and betas go over the top to pretend to be stereotypical omegas just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't really know how much of it is malice though, sometimes people just make bad choices.

#this is the only qsmp one I'll post because appropriating omegas nesting instincts made me lose my shit #qsmp #dreamwastaken #quackity #sif speaks #sif answers #anonymous #omegaverse #8/10 very funny and absolutely discourse that would exist good job anon

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dykedvonte · 1 month ago

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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

#this is my curly slander post ig #disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception #but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things #to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im #having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point #with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men #mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #shitpost #suggestive #ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig #but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its #crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see #body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments #like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save #the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to #the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself #to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya #and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing #their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of #his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve #Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain #between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over #just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up #to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise #verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct #and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to #tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho #i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would #disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone

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akkivee · 1 month ago

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in one of his radios, sasara offhandedly mentioned that whenever he’s up for a drink, without fail rei accepts his invite and it was to the point sasara wondered if rei had nothing ever going on lmao but rei trying to find happiness in a bottle is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#vee queued to fill the void #my brain is desperately trying to get me to say something absolutely batshit about ichiro sasara rei and nayuta #but the amount of connections it takes to reach the conclusion is making me feel like insane #so i’m kinda sitting here looking dead eyed like pomni while my brain is throwing pictures and screaming character points at me LOL #it’d be so lit if i could figure out how to explain rei’s couple therapy tendencies are connected to a theorised on my part 1️⃣🎋parallel lo #just typing that made me feel like i was losing the plot LOL #c: rei

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clownsuu · 2 years ago

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I wonder what Frank's reaction would be to Howdy's visiting cousin... especially since Howdy would talk about his family, but now the rest of the neighbors get to see a relative? I can only imagine the antics bwaha!

(A silly thing, for you!)