#made a lightbulb come out

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

feyre 'stans' (*cough* feysand stans) have such an interesting relationship with feyre - where, they can't decide whether to view feyre as a full-fledged adult or little more than a child. bc its like - if you always view feyre as a victim of her circumstances, then she's not an active, morally ambiguous character. or - they don't actually view her as an actual character, rather, an easy extension of rhys that can be projected into. im inspired by this video again, and specifically the discussions about rhysand's ability to see feyre as an equal - or even just an individual person.

like in the case of silver flames, feyre 'stans' often try to validate rhysand's actions, by affirming that he's 'just standing up for feyre..'

and you could argue that - but feyre has already established on multiple occasions that she feels uncomfortable with the way rhys decides to 'stand-up' for her in regards to her sisters. and when confronted with this - rhysand immediately assumes that feyre will (1) forgive him and (2) have sex with him. its a moment of complete insanity - where rhysand doesn't even believe that his constant lack of boundary actually entails serious consequences. thats not a man whose actually concerned abt feyre's opinions, or actually hurting feyre. he'd rather openly trigger feyre at that dinner table, then actually respect and take a step back. but to argue that rhysand's behavior is okay even when feyre doesn't believe means that you guys don't actually view her decisions to be confidently her own. bc the emphasis is always geared towards validating the actions rhysand takes, and not feyre's opinions on the matter. there's a difference between giving feyre this 'power' and giving feyre the tools and information needed to actually wield that power. there's a difference between rhys disliking nesta or elain treating them as he sees fit v. rhys disliking nesta, but giving feyre the space she needs to deal with them, and respecting the boundary she has clearly reiterated in regards to how he should treat and interact with them.

and its like these are the moments where we see parallels with what the story argues about tamlin - where his way of 'protecting' was uncomfortable towards feyre, and she establishes that she doesn't want to be protected in that way. and we get something similar in maf where feyre literally gets into an argument with rhys bc she established that his behavior with keir was unacceptable. but even when feyre stans see that - they still rush to validate rhysand's behavior. and its like we get multiple instances where rhys will often just take measures within his own hands, and the argument is never about how wrong it is that he does - but that his intentions trump feyre's opinion; specifically when rhysand goes behind feyre's back to make a diplomatic decision with keir and eris and does not tell feyre (and mor) bc he knows they will disagree. that is not the decision of a man who actually values the existence of a co-ruler. or even the decision to tell another high lord the complications of feyre's pregnancy but NOT THE WOMEN GIVING BIRTH to said child. even when faced with the absolute certainty of her death (feyre is almost guaranteed to die) he still doesn't even loop her in. and its important bc feyre is going to die. there's no argument, so the idea of 'stress' makes no sense bc she's going to die. the story is very blunt about it.

but AGAIN feyre established 'no more secrets.' she also established that she wants to always be kept in the loop (even if someone deems xyz dangerous; that was literally the entire point of feyre's mental breakdown. she didn't care that going with tamlin could cause her harm, she wants to make the decision). you see how even though tamlin believes its unsafe (and ig it is) its not his decision, and the emphasis is put on feyre's opinion and not tamlin's intentions? why aren't we keeping this same energy, like ever.

and that's the ick part - even if rhys hates nesta. even if we argue that nesta 'was abusive' - feyre has established that she (1) doesn't want rhysand to speak about them or to them disrespectfully (2) that she does not approve of his behavior. (3) that she always wants to be informed on everything. she also laments that her worst fear being deemed 'not enough' or 'not useful' which one of the leading reason she decides to go with tamlin at the end of maf - she didn't believe she was useful. that rhysand can consistently prove that he doesn't believe feyre to be unworthy of information regarding her own body, court and family should be a slap in the face to be people who claim to 'love only her.'

and yet - when confronted with rhysand's behavior (both in previous books and the last) the race is to validate his behavior and not feyre's opinions. so everytime time 'feyre stans' present an argument thats geared toward validating rhysand's actions and not the boundaries that feyre established. side eye.

either feyre is an adult, who is old enough to rule a nation, have a child, and have her own opnions. or she's little more than a child who needs certain decisions made for her bc y'all disagree with them. or she's person capable of making mistakes, having flaws, and actually making conscious (morally ambiguous) decisions that we the audience can agree or disagree with. we can't argue that she an eternal victim of every circumstance, while denying her agency in moments where she's actually the victim. or argue that she morally grey and complex and then justify the behavior and combat when people might have differing opinions. as is the point of being a morally grey character.

i think we need to do away with 'morally-grey' as a descriptor. or it needs to be expounded on in a meaningful way. being morally ambiguous means we should look closer into the actions of the character, because often how they chose to solve their problems says something about them. im just tired of 'morally-grey' used as the justification of an action, instead of a conversation starter.

[crow-with-a-pencil]

Hi @naffeclipse I'm very normal about your fic. Have some frantic midnight sketches as extra kudos along with some tag rambling :)

[c10v3r]

if you let go they might disappear !!!!

seperation anxiety lightbubl :)

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

Sometimes I think about how when I first watched Supernatural I immediately felt so deeply connected to Sam and identified with him so much, but I couldn't tell you any of the reasons why. And how being a Sam fan has helped me realise so many things about myself, but also independently realising things about myself has made me recognise them in Sam and it's like OH MY GOD THAT'S WHY?!

[ssreeder]

SREEDIE YOU UPDATED and I haven’t even read the last chapter yet…

in my defence, I have moved countries so uh… keep waiting for me, my love, I shall soon return from the war <3

YOU MOVED?!??? I demand details please. I’ll wait forever for you my reekie-leekie. <3

[aberration-abbey]

Delta lore Sornieth has radio, I think. It’s been common in the Shifting Expanse for decades, but the Lightning elite don’t like to share their technology, so it’s only in the past ten years that it’s become common elsewhere--spread to the southeastern parts of the continent by Lightning expats and rebels, and to the western flights by Arcane engineers.

Audio recording technology is fairly advanced in the Starfall Isles--Light Flight figured it out first, but the Arcanist takes a personal interest in new ways of storing data and has directed a large amount of state research funds towards that field of study. Arcane recording tech is slightly radioactive, but I...I’m sure it’s fine, right? (It encodes in spikes of magic radiation rather than magnetization).

Nobody has figured out video yet.

[lilacgaby]

‧₊˚ what are we?

...nothing. right?.₊˚⊹

convienence. a means to end. that's all this was for both of you right? when katsuki is fed up with the crazed fangirls who just won't leave him alone, he works out a deal with you. it was just coincidence he had a huge crush on you.

☆pair. 2ndyear!katsuki x reader. tags. fake dating!trope, fluff, reader is academically flopping for a bit, pet names, cursing, fighting (verbal), happy ending wc. 6k

ღnote. sorry that this took so long lol! i wrote this in chapter form if you'd like to read it here, but this one shot is the same thing.

post-war brought troubles for a lot of the students in class 1-A. especially bakugo katsuki.

he had to completely relearn how to write with his other hand, had to learn how to fight without injury to it.

and he had to learn to deal with his crazy amount of fangirls.

his fight had been broadcasted, the manner in which he pushed himself to the very brink broadcasted to the world. his victory brought spoils, though not in a way he expected.

he didn't expect to be chased down the hallways every morning, to have a line of girls wanting his autograph as he ate. he didn't expect to be gifted things, things they just assumed he liked, but couldn't be farther from the truth.

luckily, you seemed to like chocolate. he found refuge these days sitting on the roof floor of U-A next to you during lunch, passing you the chocolate gifts he'd been given.

he hated chocolate. but to be honest, he loved seeing you smile.

"thanks 'suki." you said for the nth time, picking the best chocolates out of the box and leaving the gross ones alone.

"yeah." he sighed, glancing at you occasionally as he moved to support the weight of his head with his hands. he found himself speechless around you often. words failing as he leant into the comfort of your presence.

you were about to say something, he thinks. your mouth was open though the blaring of the bell cut you off. "oh, let's go 'suki." you said, holding your hand out to him.

he took it, letting you pull him up and holding onto your hand for just a second too long. you dumped the rest of the chocolates in a trash can and made your collective way down to 1-A. you laughed at how he seemed to try and hide behind you, eyes darting around for the general course girls who seemed to have nothing better to do than follow him around.

they didn't come though. he saw a group of them but when they saw your proximity to him..

they left him alone.

a lightbulb went off in his head, he mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. as he sat in class, eyeing your seat between momo and jirou, he thought about how he'd ask you.

test papers were being passed out, graded ones. "yo man," kirishima started, looking over his paper, "what'd you get?"

katsuki scoffed. "what do you think? another 100, easy as shit."

kaminari groaned beside him, "you're cheating or something! i got an 80."

"that's high for someone like you!"

"hey!"

"aw man, i got a 70. you're so manly bakubro!"

"yeah, guess i am."

katsuki tried to resist the turning of his head, he really did. but he wanted to know what score you got, if you did well. though from the expression on your face and the way momo patted you on the back,

not to mention the red ink used all over your paper. he knew you didn't.

"man this totally sucks!" you exclaimed, your hands clutching the paper of your test. "i studied and everything, i don't even need math, im a hero for crying out loud!"

jirou's teases and momo's comforts faded into the background as he only focused on you, and the nagging feeling for him to help you.

with another ring of the bell and a sigh from mr. aizawa, katsuki left early to try and beat the crowd of girls who seemed to pounce on him.

he didn't though, he found himself at the entrance at U-A, almost to freedom when the crowd pointed at him, "that's him! i can't believe it!"

"dynamite, an autograph please?"

"hey- don't be so casual. it's lord explosion--"

"who cares? i want a photo!"

at that, they chased him. all his progress down the stairs and through the halls was gone as he was led right back down to class 1-A. he stupidly lead himself right back into a corner.

his head darted around, until he noticed a tuft of familiar hair in the classroom. you hadn't left? oh well, he needed your help and quick.

you were sobbing internally, looking over your horrific test score with a sad expression. a 70? you might as well just drop out now.

as the hours of studying you'd done for waste passed over in your mind, a noise caught you off guard.

he had burst in, making your deflated form jump off the desk. "katsuki, don't scare me like that!"

he rushed over to your side, grabbing your hand off where it was hanging limply on the desk. "be my girlfriend for a second."

the words barely even processed in your brain before you were being manhandled off the desk, your mind rushed to catch up. "wait-- wha-"

before you knew it you were led towards the door of obsessed fan girls. his hand was intertwined tightly with yours, a slight flush on his face.

"listen up." he started, making his fans shush eachother. "my girlfriend hasn't been appreciating all your bullshit. and neither have i, so for the love of god stop it already."

he pulled you alongside him, "move." a path opened for the two of you, letting you two through. he walked you to the entrance, no words spoken between the two of you until you stopped infront of the lockers where you'd keep your shoes.

"[name]-- uh." he took a breath, his heart sped up rapidly around you. it sped up at the simple tilt of your head.

"so. if you help me with this shit, i'll tutor you.

or whatever."

a hand was behind his head, his averted eyes now focusing on you as he awaited your answer with baited breath.

you had an expression of thoughtfulness on your face. your finger on your chin as you looked up to the ceiling to think.

'have everyone think youre dating a cute boy and get a tutor?'

the pinkie of your hand shot out, a closed eye smile on your face. "i'm in!"

a soft smile graced his lips, his pinkie intertwining with yours and sealing his fate in more ways than one.

because you really did have him wrapped around your finger. literally and figuratively.

"let's go to my room so we can talk over it!"

you really were going to be the death of him.

it's not like he'd never been to your room, just not in a situation like this.

not when he'd declared himself your boyfriend an hour earlier, not when his hands were sweaty with his nervousness, and not when you'd agreed so hastily to be his.

he wondered if you'd accept if anyone else asked you. if izuku or todoroki had been facing this situation instead of him.

"'suki?" you patted the side of your bed next to you, "sit with me."

he sighed, the thoughts disappearing from his mind at your words. he really was whipped for you.

"yeah, yeah. i'm goin'" he sat beside you, oddly stiffer than normal. he held his own hands as he waited for you to say something.

"okay, so, we should have like-- a plan or something right?"

"a plan? what the fuck for?"

"like so we don't get caught faking this or whatever. if they find out your fans will just come back running, no?"

he shuddered at the thought. "yeah, don't wanna deal with that shit."

"right? so the first part of our plan, is that everyone has to think we're dating. cool?"

katsuki's mind was racing. cool? more like the best thing that would happen to him. he felt as if everyone knew of his crush on you.. except for you.

being to say he was all yours and that you were all his, even if it was a lie..

"yeah, it's cool."

"great, that's really the only thing we had to establish. we hang out a lot anyways so, we'll just have to be affectionate or something to seal the deal."

his heart jumped at the idea of hugging you, wrapping an arm around you, holding hands with you in public. the ghost of a smile came over him.

"right."

"cool. so nothing else matter--"

"we're starting your studying shit tomorrow. the next test is next week, so we don't have time to play around [name]."

"ughh. i wish you forgot about that." your head fell into your hands. "i hate math, what do i even need it for?"

"advanced math, nothing really. but estimates are important in hero work. estimating time, the abilities of your body, the amount of civilians, all that stuff."

"you're such a nerd."

"hah?"

he continued explaining the importance of math to you despite your grievances. his finger was pointed in the air, you swore you could see the need emoji popping over his face.

your eyes closed, the weight of the day, your grade, and the thought of studying alongside a nerd like katsuki tiring you to no avail. you yawned, laying your head on his shoulder.

you could hear the thumping of his heart, the racing of his blood in his veins. it rocked you to sleep, "wake me up later, m' a take a nap." you mumbled against his shoulder, before falling asleep.

his mouth shut, eyes peeled on your body that now clung to his side. his face grew hot, when did it get so hot in your damn room?

he tried his best to stay awake, to let you nap and wake you up in the morning. but as the clock hit eight o clock, the time he was supposed to head back to his dorm.. he found himself stuck in place.

not by an invisible force, not by some obligation. it was only the thought of wanting to be with you, next to you. wanting to let the comfort of your weight next to him drive himself to sleep.

so he did. he fell asleep, letting his head lay on top of yours, holding your body closer to his. shutting his eyes.

the light of the sun woke him up first, you didn't close your blinds yesterday, and the sun shined brightly,

directly into his face. he groaned, his voice deep from sleep as he peeled himself off of you. he was confused from fatigue, wondering why he was still in your room.

he felt an arm around his waist, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes to see it was you who was holding him close. he thinks you were using him in place of your huge teddy bear, the one laid neatly in the corner of your bed.

his heart rate quickened once again, wanting to go back to his room, but fighting the urge to stay looking at you.

an absentminded hand moved a couple strands of your hair out your face, pinching your cheek when he got bold.

you don't wake up, he sighed a breath of relief. 'til he felt your body start to stir, you pushed your head more into his chest, your eyes finally starting to open slightly.

"oh? g'morning kat'." you were sleepy, your words slightly slurred and muffled from how you were pressed against him.

"you slept here?" you asked, pulling away from him as you moved to stretch your upper body.

"uh-- yeah." he was once again lost for words at the sight of you, your shirt slightly pulled up from how you'd slept, your hair messy from the lack of a protective style before sleep.

"sorry for waking you up then, 'suki."

"no, i was already up. i just didn't wanna wake you."

"well, you failed." you joked. "anyways, you should get out of here soon, if iida sees you he'll probably flip out and tell mr. aizawa."

"right."

"let's walk to class together!" you clasped his hands in yours. "okay?"

you were going to be the death of him once again. "okay."

you let go and he got up, ruffling his hair slightly and looking back at you who sent him a small smirk and wave. before slowly walking out your door. he did his best to keep his movements quiet and minimal.

he was at the elevator, before uraraka walked out. shit. "bakugo? what are you doing here?"

"uh.. got lost."

her face scrunched in confusion, a knowing smile on her face after a second. "right.. tell [name] good morning for me."

".. tell her yourself." he got into the elevator, already seeing the grin in uraraka's face as he went up a floor to his room.

the same grin everyone greeted him with as he went to sit next to you in the common room, having made you some breakfast. he and you were all ready, you had refreshed your hair from when he was playing with it, simple makeup and your uniform ironed. he admired you while he ate his meal.

"ah, thanks 'suki."

"mhm."

you moved to whisper in his ear, "why's everyone looking at us?"

"fuck if i know."

"so you two lovebirds aren't gonna say anything?" denki said, putting his hands on his hips as he looked you two over.

"'bout what?"

"that you two are totally dating!" mina exclaimed, pointing at you. "and you didn't say anything? wow [name], i thought.. we were closer than that." she mock fully cried.

katsuki was about to say something, you cut him off though. "i thought everyone knew?" with a tilt of your head, a question mark almost visible from the blank expression you wore.

the class only sighed, kirishima shrugged his shoulders. "yeah, we should've guessed. i mean bakugo had a obvious crush on you for the longest."

"yeah, good looks man." sero gave him a thumbs up.

"tch. let's go [name]." he sat up, placing his and your finished dishes in the sink before you followed behind him.

"right! bye guys!"

you grabbed his hand as you walked out the door. nobody was around, there was no need to keep up appearances now.

but that didn't stop him from holding your hand tighter.

and that didn't stop you from clinging even more to his side.

it seemed you two were now together all the time. a clingy couple is what you seemed like to your friends, and more importantly his fans.

at lunch he could now be in the cafeteria again, you were stuck his side as you ate, an arm around you as you shared his food, insisting his cooking was better than the U-A food.

you were caged in by his body, you really did just look like a sappy couple to everyone.

during class, he was caught glancing at you. a lot. he'd roll his eyes and pretend nothing even happened, but everyone knew he was far gone.

during training, as you sparred you noticed he was going harder on you than before. some would think that because you were his crush he wouldn't get so aggressive,

too bad katsuki only wanted to push you harder, get you to show the strength he saw you unleash on those villains in the war. he wanted you to be stronger beside him, if he was number one, he'd want you to be ranked closely to him, because he knew you were strong enough.

that didn't mean it wasn't any more hard to fight him, the man was a maniac.

"you can chill out you know!"

"what? can't take it?!"

"no, slow your fucking roll!" you barely dodged his other attack, just barely moving out the way as he threw an explosion in your direction.

you now had met the conditions to use your quirk, comeback. by generating a max of 8 orbs, they'd absorb energy that you could use back for your offense. the only downside?

melee attacks couldn't be absorbed at all.

a kick to your legs sent you to the ground, you dispersed one of your orbs with the explosion stored inside of it.

"be nice and let me win!!"

"no."

he dodged your attack and pinned you to the ground. he won.

"you're so mean 'suki." you shoved him off you, making him grunt. "a good boyfriend would've let me win!"

a nagging voice in the back of his head was telling him he wasn't yours, you weren't his, and that he was only doing this for his convinience.

"well, i guess i'll be a better one next time."

even that voice couldn't deny that the way he cared for you wasn't anything less than real. that even if this relationship was fake, that he was undoubtedly yours. that the way he held his hand out to you, lifting you as gently as he could fathom.

"wanna go again?" he asked, a boyish smirk on his face.

"you know it!"

your plan of tiring katsuki out with exercise didn't work, so you found yourself in his room at his desk. showered and wiping the dew off your neck with a towel, you sat in front of him with a book splayed open.

he was hammering topic after topic into you.. statistics or something? you weren't really paying attention, you were more interested in the bulge of his muscles out of his tank top.

his words were a blur when you suddenly found yourself reaching a hand out to feel his muscle,

your hand squeezing it.

'firm. hm.' you thought, until he pulled you away, an incredulous look on his face. "this is why your class ranking keeps falling [name]. focus!"

"how can i focus with you in front of me? it's like dancing a donut in front of a cop!" you whined, face planted onto his desk.

"you're.. insane."

"you love me though, don't you?" the words slipped out of your lips without a second thought, your face flushing slightly. "oops, sorry! almost forgot you arent my like-- real boyfriend!"

he swore he heard a bit of disappointment in your voice, felt a bit of reluctance in your movements as you pulled away at him, saw a bit of longing in your eyes.

"uh.. yeah. 's fine. let's just.. take a break." he said, motioning over to lay on his bed and do nothing for a little while.

if you would've told him a couple months ago that he'd be sat, face to face, body next to body, hands awkwardly close to each other as you remained in silence. you'd had a movie on in the background, something stupid he thought. not like he payed attention to it at all.

it was comfortable, being around you. he'd be a liar if he said that he didn't like the fact that everyone now thought you were his and vice versa. not just his fans, not just yours, but your mutual friends. family.

"do you wanna try again?" he asked after a while, voice soft and his hand moving to rub his eyes. it was his bedtime, eight o clock sharp, but he'd break it for you.

"hm? to be honest no." you moved to face him. "you look tired anyways 'suki, you should sleep."

he grumbled, his eyes closing slightly as he slowly swatted your hand away from his face, his grip lingering on your wrist.

"right." he yawned. he didn't know if it was the sleep or impulse, maybe a mixture of both. but he pulled you closer to him. making you crash against his chest with his head in the nook of your neck.

"stay." he uttered, his breath flush against your neck making the hairs stand up.

"katsuki?" you thought you were dreaming. you'd move to pinch yourself if you weren't being pinned down by him.

"please?"

"..okay." your words barely matched your actions. you cuddled more into him, pulling him impossibly closer as you melted into eachother.

a blanket was thrown over the two of you. you fell asleep in his arms, the beating of his heart matching yours as you breathed a sigh of realization.

you were horribly in love with katsuki bakugo. and he was with you.

your 'fake' activities as a couple were coming along a little bit too easily to the two of you.

feeding him a snack in his room as a joke, him finding out he kind of liked being babied, him blackmailing you so you shut up.

all couple things. normal couple activity.

you didn't even have to continue those things behind closed doors, but it just came so naturally. it seemed wrong not to do it.

it seemed wrong for him not to sling a hand over you, not to hold your hand when it was so close to him, not to move the stray strands of hair and tuck it behind your ear.

it seemed wrong for him not to save a spot for you at lunch, not to wake up a bit earlier and slip out of your sleepy grasp to prepare you a meal alongside his.

not to make some breakfast for you, light or heavy, depending on what he'd learned you preferred.

not to walk with you to class, even walking with you to go see your general studies friend in the morning, leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face as he watched you rave on about a show you'd watched recently.

why wouldn't he do it if he could? why shouldn't he watch your favorite shows just to have things to talk to you about?

he found himself fighting to stay focused during your study sessions now too. he found himself noticing things about you, the smaller things.

how you'd flip your hello kitty pencil around while you were speaking. how you'd bite your lips in concentration, your expressions of disbelief when you actually started getting things correct.

he'd have to cover his hand with his face. you were just too cute.

sometimes he'd even get distracted mid sentence. he was explaining simple things over again, just to make sure you knew what it meant.

but it was hard even keeping eye contact with you.

"so, in this problem x would be.. uh.." he went silent, his mouth open but no words escaping.

"x would be what? 7?" you showed your page of work to him, with a nervous smile. "if it's not right tell me already! i know im kinda dumb, it won't hurt my feelings too bad i swear!"

he looked down back at his page. mentally slamming his head onto the table, before recovering. "yeah, no you're right. you got it."

you slammed the work onto his desk, "finally! then we can break now right?"

"yeah, 'guess so."

"let's do something fun. take a walk, my legs hurt from sitting." you pulled him up by his hand, dragging him to his door. "hurry up!"

he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him, you really reminded him of just how young you two were. how he was just a high schooler with a huge crush, how--

"why are you looking at me like that? are you sick?" you placed a hand on his forehead, making him promptly rip it off. a scowl quickly replaced the smile that been on his face moments prior. "no i'm not. let's go."

you walked hand in hand, the sunset the background for your 'date'.

the last few days, he'd been nervous to bring up what was happening between you. he was nervous to ruin the odd relationship you two had, he didn't want to lose you. he thought the things you two had been doing crossed the line between friendship and lovers.

you didn't have to do any of this. though he was sure you knew that already.

"math exam's tomorrow."

"don't remind me! you totally ruined the moment you know."

"you'll pass. i mean, i was your tutor after all. if you fail with me as a teacher? you are a lost cause."

"that's not nice to say." you ripped his hand away from yours, crossing your arms on your chest. "thats really messed up 'suki."

he leant down to face you, the sun goldening you two in its wake as he grew a cocky smirk on his lips. "oh really?"

"yes really."

"n' what're you gonna do about it?" his face was barely an inch away from yours. with a glance to his lips, he moved closer.

he barely pecked you, before he heard a loud, obnoxious idiot speak from behind him.

"[name] and bakugo are totally making out over here!"

denki and kirishima were looking at the two of you, a glare crossed over katsuki's face as he basically dragged you with him back into his dorm. he was about to leave you at your dorm, the hallway empty since curfew was around the corner.

he held your hands in his, running his thumb over the knuckle of yours. he intertwined your fingers, only letting go after a while.

he tilted your head upwards with his two fingers, wordlessly asking for permission. moonlight now struck you two as he moved in.

uninterruptedly, he kissed you. deepening it with a pull of the hand, holding you against him.

he let go after a while, his internal clock signaling it was almost time for curfew.

before he left, he whispered to you. "i don't.. really care what we're labeled. and if this shit is real or not.

i just want to be close to you."

he turned, walking to the elevator. leaving your breathless, with your heart in your throat.

no more words were spoken between you two, not as you screamed into your pillow, and not as he stared up into the ceiling of his room.

you passed that math test. and each assignment that went with it.

the end of the year was now coming quickly, of the school year that is. you and katsuki still kept up your 'act', the activities now stretching to dates after school mixed in with your study sessions.

one's that'd leave the touch of katsuki on you more than the touch of knowledge. but it was working nonetheless.

it was all good between you two, an eternal honeymoon it seemed. after all, by now it had been at least seven months since this began. your class ranking was higher, he no longer had to worry about strolling through the halls, it seemed nothing could get in your way.

well, besides two things.

one: the fact that you two were scared to label in between yourselves yet, too bashful to call him your boyfriend and you his girlfriend in private, yet proud fully admitting it to others.

two, the girl currently straddling him with no regard to you whatsoever. your entire cafeteria table was staring at her, looking at what katsuki would do to move her off.

but when he didn't immediately, didn't immediately curse the girl out and push her off him? you did the job for him.

you yanked the girl by her hair, sending her to the floor with a tray of food falling onto her body. all attention was on you as you stared at katsuki, your mouth agape in anger.

"what the fuck bakugo?" you ignored her, even stepping on her leg slightly as your hands were agitated, your whole body was. you didn't even know why you were jealous. this wasn't real, it never was, he was just playing his role too well.

you should've known katsuki would go too far. he always did.

"babe-- it's not what you think-"

"then what was i looking at? and don't call me that. don't- don't fucking call me anything. we're over."

you knew to him that probably meant something different. you acclaimed the despair in his eyes to the loss of protection, to the loss of ease as he walked in the halls and the lack of paparazzi that'd ask him questions on his love life.

but to him it was so much more.

it was those things, yes. but it was more so the thought of losing you. the thought of the affection over the months being nothing but a memory and not his future. the thought of not having you close to him.

the thoughts of becoming nothing to you, less than a friend.

he didn't know why he didn't move, it was like he physically couldn't. the look in the girl's eyes, the grip she had on him, the weird smile. he recognized her as one of the girls who usually would be in the crowd following him around.

"you don't mean that." his voice sounded more desperate than it had in the whole time he'd met you, more longing slipping through than he intentioned.

but the sun's casting light had moved away from you, casting you in a shadow. "i do mean it. fuck you."

he was going to run after you, to chase you as you slammed your lunch tray into the trash. heading up to the rooftop to he alone.

but a hand, mina's, pulled him back. "i think.. you did enough bakugo."

she went after you instead, promising to bakugo she'd check on you.

fangirls were one thing? but a messy public breakup where you were never really something in the first place? surprisingly worse.

he'd been more snappy lately, his aura making the girls around him keep their distance.

he'd become quieter, closed off. you didn't come to eat lunch with him anymore, obviously. and he didn't go up to the rooftop to join you.

he didn't know how to speak to you, how to explain what happened, how to say that he was sorry.

he ran the scenario in his head a million times, thinking over the girl's quirk that had forced him into place. but it sounded so convenient, like he was lying.

but since your entire relationship was based off of one, he didn't know how to approach the topic in the first place.

a week. a week passed before he could muster up the words to speak to you.

a week of being ignored in the hallways, side glances and being walked off on. a week of not having you by his side, not having you to talk to, to study with,

to kiss.

you were alone on the rooftop, eating silently as you felt a presence behind you. you saw his hair in the shadow and sighed, placing your plate onto the floor next to you. "what?"

"let me talk."

"...fine."

he breathed a sigh, hands balling as he forced the words out. "i know what you saw. and i know it was bad, but listen. that.. girl. she had some quirk on me or something."

he paused, seeing as your movement shifted. he took the fact that you didn't leave as a sign to continue.

"i couldn't move, i would've. you know that. but, it was right for you to be fucking pissed. i'd be too.

and i know, this is my fault in a way. i've been.. a fuckin' loser about this." his hand went up to support his head, his eyes averting from where he felt yours eyeing him.

"i needed to ask you out, officially i mean, a long time ago. it was wrong of me to use you-"

"it wasn't like that and you know it." you moved now to face him, you taking his hands in yours once more.

"what are we? to you i mean."

"right now..

we're nothing, right?"

your eyes widened, his eyes came back to look at yours.

"what?"

the words settled between you, it sent a cold shiver down your spine at the implication.

"wait-- fuck i'm messing this shit up. i mean, we're, not anything right now. we weren't anything."

your heart sank, eyes falling to the floor though your hand still held by him. your bleeding heart was in his grasp too, it was apparent.

"but,

i'd like to be? if you'd have me."

he squeezed your hand tightly. "i, i think i did this all out of order. but, would you go out with me?"

you let out an anxious laugh mixed with emotion. relief? despair? you honestly didn't know. tears burned the corners of your eyes.

"you're-- you're real weird, you know that?"

"is that a no."

"no, it's a yes. i think."

"ya think?"

"you don't get to question me!"

"yeah, whatever." you shared a laugh of relief together. he held you, moving away to bring something out of his pocket.

a small bento box for you.

you gasped at the sight of it, it was so cute. "thank god! i hate this school shit." you sat down, patting the side beside you, prompting him to sit down.

"wow, a heart? don't tell me you like me or something katsuki."

instead of deflecting, of telling you to buzz off, of shoving you lightly, a small smile came over his lips once again. after a beat, he laughed boyishly.

"you caught me."

...

he patted your back as you choked on the heart shaped seaweed.

your first date was cute, a small picnic with the country of musatafu as your backdrop. it was weird, this scene had played out between you two various times. in his room, in public, in private, to everyone else you two had just recovered from a messy breakup. and yet,

your stomachs were filled with butterflies at the affection between you two.

your rank was high, the dates were endless between the two of you now. study dates, just going to cafes, mundane things became more when you were by each others side.

years passed, and your poor dorm was going mostly unused. you'd sleep in his bed most of the time, actually- you'd spent most of your time in his room. he even cleared out a section for you in his closet despite the fact that yours was perfectly fine.

graduation came along, your careers came rushing at the two of you.

you were the top rated woman hero, and he was number one. just like he dreamt, just like he imagined the future would be for the two of you all those years ago.

you were picking out some drinks from the vending machine, a pocky hanging out your mouth as you decided between two flavors.

you finally chose, having two drinks in your hand for you and katsuki when he suddenly dragged you into an alleyway, grunting when he pushed you against the wall.

deja vu? maybe, you felt like you lived through this before, the same mindless stampede of girls rushing past.

"i told you to clip down your hair."

"shut up. don't they even care that we're married now? why do they fucking bother?." he sighed, annoyed as he lightly grabbed the can out your hand, his frustration not matching his actions.

"well, maybe we need something that'd make it even more official." a lightbulb went over the both of your heads. you faced each other, a streetlight letting you see the slight pink tint of his cheeks.

"a ca-"

"a baby."

you laughed, keeling over at the sight of his face that grew impossibly red.

you went home, hand in hand, the photos of the two of you together making rounds in the media again.

but as you laid with his head laid on your lap, your head rested comfortably against the furniture you'd chosen for your home?

you couldn't help but feel like everything worked out perfectly.

and with the new addition of your family laid sleeping on top of katsuki's chest.

tags (can't tag orange :c): @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @amayaaaxx @i-the-fluffo @irenne-stans @hisonlyobsession @dead-fish-soup @pretty-sparkle-bomb @matchat3a @yura-4life @djlance-rock @zuzukusna @hiimsaraandyou @uy242c

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[elexaria]

dating simon riley wasn’t always easy. “i’m a bloody nutcase, eh?” he’d joke when he’d wake up in a cold sweat, taking deep breaths as his calloused thumb rasps against the soft cotton bedsheets, grounding him back to reality. “puts all my efforts to shame when i wake up like this. fuck’s sake.”

therapy is mandatory, especially given his role as lieutenant. the traumas of childhood, the torture. he thinks he’s good at dealing with his problems, thinks therapy is a waste of time. “what, it’s just a bloke sat there starin’ at me? hell, get me a piece of paper with some made up degree on it and even i could be a therapist.” he grumbles after you point out that, in fact, he’s not as good as coping with his trauma as he thinks he is.

“you need to actually give this a go, si. it’s..” you pause, biting the inside of your lip as you make breakfast. his hair is disheveled, wry strands of grey sticking up against the grain. his dark circles only exemplify just how tired he is, especially when he has his night terrors. you shake your head, sighing as you crack another egg into the frying pan. “how can i expect you to stay safe out there when you’re barely able to look after yourself when you’re home?” you sigh out as he grunts, taking a seat at the small dining table, his eyes skimming through the morning paper.

god, he’s such a stubborn bastard. it takes months to get him to at least consider finding a new therapist, to get him to actually care about his mental health. christ, if he can’t do it for himself, can’t he at least try for your sake?

and then, it’s like he has a lightbulb moment. you come home after a long day at work, only to find him sat at the dining table, writing scruffy notes in a ring bound notebook. “mission notes?” you ask curiously, keeping your eye on him as you make yourself a cup of tea. he grunts, shaking his head as he continues to write.

“it’s a diary. supposed to help with your mental health or summet.” he replies, settling his pen down to meet your gaze. you must have had a look of confusion on your face, and it makes the corners of his lips twitch up into a half-smile. “yeah, i know. a bloke like me with a diary, like i’m a bloody teenage girl.” he quips, now grinning as his fingers toy with the corners of the notebook. “writin’ about all the boys i fancy on the field.” he shoots a wink, before continuing to write some more in his notebook.

it’s actually surprising, a smile on your lips as you watch him in his own little world, actually making an effort in his mental health recovery. you come over, settling a warm cup of tea by him before pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of his head, still smiling as you make your way upstairs to give him some privacy. he comes upstairs after half an hour, chucking the diary into his bedside table drawer before sprawling out onto the bed obnoxiously with a deafening groan. you whine and complain when he purposely stretches on you, gently crushing you with his bolder-esque shoulders with a massive grin on his face.

there were still bad days, though. days where he’d hide himself in the garage to work on some of his projects. but you’re both trying, he feels his heart break when you gently knock on the door, holding a plate of snacks and a cup of tea for him, and fuck, it makes his bad day slightly better.

that evening, he curls up besides you silently on the couch, his journal and pen in hand as he clears his throat. you curiously peer down as he begins to flick through the pages of chicken scratch, gently tapping the page as he looks up at you. he clears his throat, and begins to read out the sweetest paragraph, one that makes your eyes well up with tears.

“no idea where i would be without you, love. you make the darkest days of my life brighter than ever. you make life worth it.” he ends his speech , the timbre of his voice cracking with emotion as he looks at you. and right there, you know that through all the trials and tribulations you two will go through, you’re the love of simon riley’s life and he would never let you forget that.

[songmingisthighs]

Baby Baby

group : ateez

pairing : alpha!san × human mate!reader

genre : smut

wc : 3.4 k

warning : mature, mdni, explicit smut; restraints, cumming untouched, rut, breeding kink (breeding need more like), lactation kink, slight cum play and cum eating, both san and mc are being degenerate pain slut mayhaps ?, unprotected sex, alpha sex, rut sex, knotting, degradation ??, don't read if you don't like or can't stand this genre

a/n : this fic is brought to you by @kitten4sannie GOADING me. I wholeheartedly blame you alyssa. whatever happens after this, blame alyssa

buy me coffee ?

You came rushing to the pack house with your baby tucked in her little blanket, sleeping so soundly like an angel which was an utter contrast to the situation that you were facing. You had been rushing so much that you changed into a flimsy shirt and a long boho-esque skirt. You were barely at the front door and yet you could hear the sound of your husband's screams, filling the silence in the air, and making the whole area seem haunted.

Upon entry, you were greeted by Seonghwa who immediately took your little princess in his arms and Yeosang who welcomed you. "How bad is it?" you asked, taking your coat before handing it over along with your bag to Yeosang. Hongjoong came rounding from the kitchen upon hearing you and from the look on his face, you knew this was a bad one. "(y/n), are you sure you want to handle him?" Hongjoong asked, worriedly looking between you and your sleeping daughter, whose fluffy wolf ears twitched at the sound of the commotion but remained in her slumber. You simply shrugged, "He's my husband, this is nothing I haven't experienced before," you said as you tried to push past Hongjoong to go to the basement. Before you could go past him, he held you back and made you look at him, "This is unlike his previous ruts, (y/n). He's... He's going over the rails and it's triggered by you giving birth," he explained. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "But I gave birth like a long time ago. For fuck's sake, we're close to Hyemi's first birthday." With arms raised, Hongjoong could only shrug, "All I know is that the doctor told us that this is like an anti-postpartum depression. He's more aggressive, more needy, and frankly his sexual stamina is beyond anything I've ever seen and he was already a nutjob in that department."

Hearing Hongjoong's explanation made your heartbeat increase both from worry but also from... excitement? You knew what San is capable of and you knew the others knew as well. So for Hongjoong to be so concerned, you could only imagine what the extent of San's state is like.

After kissing your daughter on the forehead and allowing Seonghwa to take her over to the hunting cabin so she would be away from all the noise, you marched down to the basement only to see a sight that made you gasp.

Under the moonlight and a single lightbulb near the door, San, your dear husband, was shirtless and his limbs were restrained by metal chains that ran from the corners of one side of the wall. You wanted to ask why he was put in such a state but when you closed the door, you had seen how the small window that allows people to peek in was shattered on the ground and the handle on the door was bent, flattened even. You couldn't explain why that made you wet and you felt like you couldn't fixate on that considering the situation. But the sight of the shambled surrounding was not as surprising as seeing San staring, or glaring, at you, straining against the chains so hard that his veins were popping.

"Honey, I knew that was you. I could smell you from the moment you stepped out of the car," San shuddered, eyes glazing and his fists clenching, "Have you come for me, pretty? You came for your alpha didn't you?" he chuckled darkly. You swallowed nervously but San knew that you were aroused seeing him with his shirtless, glistening chest and very very tight jeans, especially with a VERY distracting protrusion in the dark patch in his crotch. No matter how much you had been with San, the sight of him half naked and so animalistic always made you blush. "Honey, I'm so thirsty," San whimpered and as if it was an automatic trigger, you abandoned your position and rushed to San, cupping his face gently only to gasp at how feverish he felt, "Oh sweetie, you're burning up! I'll go get you some water." You were about to detach away from him but he growled and dropped his head on your shoulder, making you stand still in your spot. "I am thirsty but not for that, my love. I'm thirsty for you."

Slowly, you felt San's head turn and he let out a shaky exhale that made tingles ran down your spine. Your eyes fluttered close when San's tongue joined in to lick your skin around your neck almost strategically pressing into your weak points which made your knees buckled and since San didn't have his freedom, you had to cling onto his body. The proximity made San smirk against your skin because now he was able to grind into your core, allowing you to feel how wet and hard he had become. "F-fuck, Sannie-" "Can you feel that? Can you feel how hard I am? I've been waiting for you mama and I can't take it anymore. Do you know how many times I've cum in my pants? Do you know how many times my cum has been wasted? I could've been breeding you over and over, make you a mommy again because fuck, we did such a great job with the first one," San panted heavily into your ear as he winced from pain and need, "Love, I need to put another baby in you, I want to put a baby in you."

Your mind was in such a hazy state because his body's warmth was luring you in like a faux safety net but the way he was humping your leg with his cock that seemed to be engorged due to both arousal and his heat. "Sannie, baby, y-your cock-" "It's asking for you, mama. It wants you. Please, please, please, let it bury itself inside your sweet sweet cunt and breed it with another pup. It's been so long and it hurts, it hurts so good," His words were like melted butter in your ears, absolutely making you weak and you were sure that your panties were effectively ruined with your slick but also from the way San was rubbing his jeans-clad crotch onto you. You couldn't deny the increasing need- no, want for him. It HAD been some time since you got intimate all thanks to your baby girl. You and he had been so focused on taking care of her and letting your body heal that the most you two have done was letting San suck on your tits while dry-humping you. So you two were stuck in a hard situation. Literally.

In your state of utter oblivion, you somehow managed to refocus yourself enough to look at the way San was straining. He had been whispering pleas and sweet nothings, buttering you up to let him relieve his rut on you, you missed the way he was straining so hard that you swore he was so close to breaking the restraints like they were made of popsicle sticks.

"Poor baby," San's mouth stopped its work on your skin the moment you replied coherently, "You've been waiting for me for so long, haven't you? Settling for minuscule action while I got better, you took such good care of me... Alpha." You had to suppress a moan when you felt San's cock twitch as his hip ground harder into your crotch, accidentally stimulating your clit against the barrier. "Yes, yes, yes, baby, I will take such good care of you. You saw how much of a great husband I could be with our first, imagine me with our second. So please, please let me out of this misery and let me fuck another baby into you."

Cursing, you pushed away from San slightly and took off your shirt before dropping down to kneel in front of his crotch. San watched you with keen eyes as your hands deftly moved to release him from his confines. The moment his cock was freed, you saw it bob before it stood straight up, slapping him right on his stomach, his residual cum smearing and splattering from the impact, some even landed on your cheek but you couldn't care. How could you care when your husband's cock was staring at you almost tauntingly? You swore his cock was larger than you remembered. The tip, a shade of angry red, and his balls seemed full of cum.

"Fuck, alpha, you're going to break me," you breathed.

Though unintentional, your breath hit his stiff cock and before you could react, San came untouched. Spurts of his cum hit you on your face making you gasp in surprise. "Fuck!" San grunted as he rode off his high, allowing his balls to empty out yet again. The amount of cum that San let out was astonishing as it seem almost endless. It made you imagine San shooting that much cum when he finished inside you. Just from the looks of it, you knew that that climax you and San will soon share would be sloppy and messy and you can't wait. Your cunt clenching with anticipation.

"Fuck, baby, why did you have to tease me like that, you slut? You just had to goad your alpha knowing that he's in restraints, huh? You really think you could take advantage of the situation I'm in huh?" San growled, snapping his hips forward so that his cock slapped you in the mouth, smearing his fresh cum around as if to mark and humiliate you. "Sorry alpha, I didn't mean to. I was just so... Amazed with your cock, I just wanna..." You trailed off as your lips slowly enveloped the hard appendage. The moment your wam mouth made contact with San's cock, he immediately almost lost control. Your tongue was caressing his cock all around so good that his hips started moving, grounding itself against your mouth as if it was addicted to you just as much as you were addicted to tasting San again. It was hard, and it wasn't just the stiffness of the cock, but his engorged size trying to stuff itself inside your mouth was almost too much. Your jaw was hurting but the pain was too delicious, you were struggling but you wanted more of it, you wanted it wholly and you wanted it so bad. San's hips made it hard for you to lick the cum clean from his dick but you made do with what you can. "Look at my mate. My pretty, pretty mate, so fucking beautiful and so fucking needy for her alpha," San's tongue darted out to lick his chapped bottom lip and as he did, he could almost taste you in the air, "And look at you being so needy," he chuckled darkly, seeing the way your hips sway back and forth and then around as if to look for friction for your very empty cunt. "Can't wait to fill you up, baby. Can't wait to pound that sweet pussy once again," he moaned.

Hearing him so needy for you, you couldn't help but let out a whimper and immediately scrambled up. "You want to fill me up, alpha? I'll give you what you want," you grabbed the edges of your skirt and hiked it up so you could easily took your panties off and fling it across the room. With his senses heightened, the smell of your free cunt made San's eyes roll to the back of his head and his hips gyrate in your direction. "Come on, come on, come on mama, stop torturing me and let me fuck you so good and so deep, your tummy would bulge out. I'm gonna make sure you'll get good and pregnant"

You couldn't even get properly and wholly naked as you were just that desperate and needy for San. So with one edge of your skirt still hiked, you hooked your left leg around his strong right thigh and your right hand reached under to slip his tip right at your entrance. "I'm ready alpha, I'm ready for you to take me and fill me up," you panted, pressing your forehead against his while you prepared yourself mentally to take his cock inside you. San rolled his hip once and his bulbous tip slipped inside you so easily thanks to your arousal, his residual cum, and your spit, mixing together creating the perfect lubricant. "Oh fuck," you whimpered, your arms circling around San's neck so tightly, catching him in a vice grip, "You're s-so big, t-too big!" you gasped the more it slipped inside you.

San was faring no better. Having gone through the first night of his rut by himself and flooding his mind with the thought and memories of your cunt, he was going through 10 emotions all at once because he finally got to feel the real deal. Being chest-to-chest with San allowed you to feel his heart beating so hard and quick you were afraid that it would break out of his ribcage. However, your worry about him breaking something was misplaced because while you were trying to slowly get yourself ready to take him whole inch by inch, San's patience snapped. His wolf was crying out to breed you and he deemed that he needed more and he needed it right then and there.

"San! Oh my- Fuck!!" You screeched when San bottomed out inside you with one smooth move. Your arms held onto him tighter while his thighs trembled, the pleasure was overwhelming him, almost sending his head to an empty state. "Baby, my love, my mate, thank you for giving your body to me."

You weren't even accustomed to him just yet but he had started fucking you with such fervor that it took everything in you to keep your mental faculties intact and held onto him for dear life. For the life of you, you couldn't even begin to think about how San managed to fuck you even with his limbs restrained but even such thought easily slipped from your mind as all other coherent mental processes were getting fucked out of you. "A-alpha please!" you weren't sure what you were pleading for because while it hurt, the pain was too pleasurable and you truly believed that you would have gone insane had he pulled back. Not that you think he could. When you pulled away slightly, you saw the way San was staring at you with dilated pupils, his eyes even seemingly turned into a shade of gold though you were not so sure due to the dimness of the room and your body being shaken up and down like a shaker. You could feel it, you could feel his cock deep inside you. The movement allowed him to go deeper and deeper, and you were sure that his tip was coaxing your cervix to open ever so slowly as evidenced by the dull probing feeling in your lower belly area. Even the thought of his cock prying you open to accommodate his agenda made your head feel like it was swimming.

Pleasure coursed through your body almost to the maximum extent within minutes but you held on, you wanted to hold on for your husband. "Fuck, I miss this," San growled, chuckling darkly, "How did I manage to not fuck you every night? It was wrong of me to let you experience even one day without being my little cumdump, my fleshlight, my most precious little doll toy." The way he reduced you to nothing but a plaything made your cunt clench, causing San's movement to halt and his breath hitch. "Honey, don't do that, I might cum too soon," he said through gritted teeth. You moaned and dropped your head back, exposing your neck to your husband, "And is that such a bad thing, love? Come on, cum in me, you promised to fill me up so full, right?"

The encouragement effectively pushed San's inner wolf to completely take over because the next thing you know, San ripped the right cup of your bra off, exposing your breast and your perked nipple before latching his mouth on it and he resumed his fucking. Not many words were exchanged between the two of you, all sorts of communication was in the form of moans, groans, and grunts. Especially you, who was up on cloud 9 from both penetrating and sucking stimulation. San was fucking you stupid while his mouth was feasting on your breastmilk. You took a peek down to see white dribbling down San's chin a bit too calmly while his hips never stopped their work on your cunt. The intensity of the pleasure sent you reeling and you could feel you were teetering on the edge of a climax. Your limbs contorted around San even tighter so much so that you were practically floating, two bodies being supported by one and at this moment you were very much glad that San's animalistic side had taken over perhaps completely.

"F-fuck, San! Sannie! Alpha! I-I-" You wanted to tell him that you were cumming but the words were stuck in your throat. San, too preoccupied with the taste of you on his tongue, didn't bother answering but he simply bit down on your breast. The sharp pain caused you to let your control slip and then and there you came undone. Your body shook as you climaxed, your jaw unhinged and you let out a loud cry while your cunt unknowingly let out spurts of clear liquid.

San always loved it when you climaxed because your scent became more powerful and your body writhed about that sent his animalistic side into a frenzy as it paralleled his high when he caught a prey; so pliant, so submissive, so... helpless. Your orgasm served to only goad San even more as he never stopped his movement, never even faltering for a single beat. "Yes, we're so close, baby, so close," San smirked after gulping down your milk. His sharp canine dragged on your sternum in a menacing way that made it even hotter for some reason. You were already so spent and to be frank, the constant friction was becoming almost too much. Your legs were starting to cramp and your arms were slowly going numb. As glad as you were for cumming, knew you couldn't handle another one so soon, especially when you felt his knot forming.

"Alpha, alpha! Cum in me p-please! I- I can't take it anymore!" you whined, gripping him so hard that his back bore the red streaks of your nails that dug into his skin. "Yes, mama, yes. I'll cum in you, I'm cumming in you, fuck! I'm gonna get you nice and pregnant!" San announced loudly before his hips stuttered once more and his mouth latched back onto your breast. Along with his teeth digging into your soft flesh, you felt warm liquid being spurted out directly into your womb, filling you rather quickly and your mind floated back to the amount of cum San had let out not even too long ago. San's cum and knot were filling you up so stupidly good that you didn't even have any more energy to scream so you simply dropped your head onto his shoulder. Your senses were filled with San experiencing his true release after holding back for so long.

San happily sucked more of your milk, ensuring that your breast would be drained and very darkly marked, while he happily let his knot rest inside you.

Although you were still being stimulated, your body was slowly calming down and it was then did your muscles felt the after effect. Soreness started to settle in your joints and parts of your limbs but your husband's warmth was making things up for you, like a very large heating pad.

"Alpha, I'm so full," you croaked, closing your eyes when you felt San also calming down even if it was temporary. "You were so good, my mate. I'm so proud of my little mama being able to take all of that," he praised, letting his lips trail kisses from your chest, up your neck, to your cheeks, and settle to nibble on your earlobe. "But you know that this night had just begun."

Your eyes snapped open when you heard loud clanking sounds and you immediately took notice of the way the chains that were holding San's limbs were so easily broken and in a flash, you were put on the floor with San hovering over you.

"How about we try for twins this time?"

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[cherrygirlfriend]

hidden away

pairing: brother's bsf! rafe cameron x reader

genre: smutsmutsmut, minors DNI!!! / oral (m receiving)

synopsis: your brother's best friend convinces you to give him head in a closet

word count: 1.9k

a/n: part three of brother’s best friend but can be read as a standalone!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩

Music blared in your headphones as you closed the front door behind you, a heart-shaped lollipop between your lips, still on a high from spending time with your friends, moving your body along to the music that came from your headphones, one of your favorite songs playing as you kicked your shoes off of your feet and made your way to the kitchen.

However, when you arrived at the kitchen doorway, you almost let out a loud yelp, startled by a blonde guy you had never met before standing at the fridge. As he turned to face you, you removed your headphones and put them down on the counter, now hearing faint music coming from the living room. "Who are you?" you asked him, your brows furrowed, and you could basically see the lightbulb above his head light up in realization. "Oh, I'm Topper, one of Scott's friends." The stranger said with a smile. "You're his sister, right? We're hanging out in the living room."

You scoffed, storming off to the living room, hell-bent on giving your older brother a piece of his mind about how even if your parents were away, it didn't mean that he had free range to have his friends over at whatever time he'd please, and if he didn't get his friends out of the house, you'd-

Your train of thought was cut off when you felt yourself bumping into someone's broad chest, a pair of piercing blue eyes looking down at you accompanied by that same grin you could make out from a mile away, causing the annoyance in your chest to die down as you cleared your throat, stepping away from him.

"Rafe." You said his name softly, the self-satisfied grin on his face only widening further as he placed his hands on your waist to help keep you steady, causing you to furrow your brows and look up at him like he was insane. "What on Earth are you doing?"

"What's wrong?" He arched his brow suggestively, his hands slowly moving to your hips as his tongue flicked out of the mouth you had gotten to know quite well as of late. The tall blonde brought his lips close to your ear, causing shivers to run down your spine as he whispered into your ear, "From what I remember, you were asking for much more the last time I saw you."

You were suddenly attacked by memories of his head between your legs, of him pressing kisses down your neck as he fucked into you, making you tremble and-

Forcing yourself to stop thinking about what had happened, you tugged him by his hand to the closest door, forcefully pulling him inside and closing the door before realizing you had just trapped yourself into a small broom closet, Rafe's semi-hard cock now pressing into your abdomen as the blonde sported a shit-eating grin on his face, leaning down slightly to bring his lips closer to yours.

You put your hands on his chin, keeping his lips away from yours as you looked into his eyes sternly, "Rafe, you can't just... put your hands on me when anyone could see us, especially my brother. He'd kill you if he found out what we've been doing behind his back."

"I could easily take him. It's not my fault you look so fuckin' tempting... You wear those shorts just for me, or what?" The boy grinned, bringing his hands down to cup your ass, pulling you closer to his body. "Rafe," you looked up at him, noticing that his pupils were dilated and his eyes slightly pink, "are you high right now?"

"Just a tiny bit." Rafe grinned, taking your chin between his index finger and thumb, "But that doesn't change how much I wanna fuck you right now..." He sighed, one of his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt, the feeling of his cool hands against the bare skin of your back, your breath catching in your throat as your back automatically arched into his touch.

"Rafe..." You sighed, his lips finding their way onto your neck, latching onto the skin as you wrapped your arms around him, wanting nothing more than to give into him, to give in to the arousal you could feel stirring inside of you. "Rafe, we can't..."

"Come on, you know you want to..." He whispered, sucking on your neck slightly, the suddenness and intensity of it causing you to let out a small whimper, "I heard that cute little noise... You clearly want it..."

"It's not about that." You said, forcefully pulling him away from your neck, Rafe grinning at the red mark he had left on the skin on your neck before his gaze finally roved over to your eyes, the blonde cocking his head to the side expectantly, silently implying you to give him the reason to your refusal. You sighed, knowing just how insistent he could be, so muttered your reasoning quietly, causing Rafe to furrow his brows.

"Princess, you know I can't hear you."

You rolled your eyes, looking at him with an irritated expression, "I'm on my period, Rafe."

"So?" Rafe shrugged, making you widen your eyes, "You know, I hear that orgasms help with cramps." He grinned, and you softly smacked his forearm, the blonde feigning offense with a small laugh, "I'm just trying to be of assistance!"

"Well, unfortunately, I'm not really into period sex. Even the idea of that mess..." You shiver dramatically, causing him to chuckle as Rafe rests his head against the wall of the broom closet, looking at you pleadingly. "What?"

"Well, could you at least... suck me off or something?" Rafe asks, pouting at you pleadingly, the fakeness of the gesture causing you to roll your eyes in exasperation. "Princess, it's been two weeks since I last saw you, I need something... I'll make it up to you, I promise..."

"How?"

"By returning the favor to you when you're no longer on your period..." He said in a gruff voice, biting down on his lower lip as he sized you up, clearly enjoying the sight of you in nothing but your frayed denim shorts and tank top, "Until you've come on my tongue so many times that you can't even remember your own name."

When the words left his lips, you could feel your breath hitch in your throat, the memory of his mouth sucking greedily on your clit still vivid in your mind as you stepped closer to him, pressing your chest against his, looking up at him through your lashes. "Promise?"

He placed his hand on your jaw before bringing his lips down to yours, kissing you intensely, his hand going to your hair, running his fingers through it softly before pulling away, his kiss still leaving you just as dizzy as it had the first time he had kissed you. "Promise." He said huskily, bringing your hand to the front of his pants, the blonde letting out a hiss as you palmed his erection through them.

Within seconds, you were on the floor of the broom closet, on your knees in front of Rafe as he looked down at you, his pants at his ankles, the blonde quietly groaning as you palmed him through his boxers. He held onto one of the shelves as he threw his head back, more than eager for you to finally stop teasing him. "Come on..." Rafe breathed out, making you chuckle softly before finally giving in, pulling down his boxers to let his hardened cock spring free.

You spit onto your hand, wrapping it around the base of his long cock and giving him a few strokes, the boy letting out ragged breaths as he opened his eyes to look down at you, mouth open as you were preparing to take him into your mouth, his hands running through your hair as before gathering it all into a makeshift ponytail.

When you licked a stripe up the vein running across the underside of his cock, he couldn't help but shiver and slightly tug on your hair as your lips wrapped around the sensitive head of his cock, your tongue darting to get the drop of precum that had leaked onto his tip into your mouth.

With your cheeks hollowed out, you looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, a wave of arousal washing over you as you took half of him into your mouth, bobbing your head at a slow pace as your hand was at the base of his cock, stroking the part of his cock that you hadn't yet managed to get into your mouth.

The fact that you hadn't been able to take all of him into his mouth didn't seem to bother Rafe, though, the blonde's head thrown back in pleasure as you picked up your pace, and when he tugged your hair, you couldn't help the small moan you let out around his cock, causing vibrations to go through all throughout his body, his cock twitching in your mouth as he groaned your name, "Fuck, you're so good..."

When you finally dared to take even more of him into your mouth, his grip on your hair tightened once again and a small whine left his lips, the sound going straight to your core, the sight of the pleasure you were giving him turning you on.

Once you had all of him in your mouth, you gagged around him when the swollen head of his cock hit the back of your throat, causing tears to well up in your eyes. You picked up your pace, Rafe biting down on his lower lip to stop himself from letting out the loud, needy groans that were just begging to get past his lips.

When he let out a shaky breath and tightened the grip he had on your hair, you knew that he was getting close, his already unsteady breaths turning into pants as he opened his eyes, looking down at you with glassy, blue eyes. "Gonna cum in your mouth... Want you to take it all, baby, take all my cum into your pretty mouth..."

You moaned around his cock, causing another wave of vibrations to hit him as he closed his eyes and thrust himself deeper into your mouth, now guiding your head by your hair, the head of his cock now hitting the back of your throat repeatedly until you finally started feeling hot, salty ropes of cum coating your tongue while you helped him ride out his orgasm.

Rafe's eyes fluttered open, looking down at you with a grin as you pulled your lips away from his cock, his grip on your hair loosening as he ran his hand through your hair gently before his index finger and thumb went to your chin, making you look up at him. "Open your mouth."

You felt shivers run down your spine from the commanding tone of his voice, and you did as he told you to, showing him that his release was coating your tongue, the blonde boy letting out a low groan. "Swallow." He said hoarsely, and you closed your mouth, swallowing his cum.

He helped you to your feet, looking down at you with a small grin as he shook his head, pulling his boxers and pants back on. "Do you know how adorable you look when you do what I tell you to?"

Rafe's hand is on your cheek, and you lean into his touch as he brings his lips closer to yours, but just as your lips are about to connect with his, you hear a familiar voice outside of the closet.

"Rafe?" Your brother called out, causing all of the color to drain from your cheeks as you looked up at Rafe with wide eyes.

[medusaesque]

Kim Kitsuragi and the pale-

Kim has a unique relationship to the pale, I tried dissecting it and making sense of it. Reposting with more thoughts after some good conversations with @binomech.

Warning- it's insanely long.

1. After life, death

One of the first thing you can learn about Kim is that he would hurl himself in death's way to save you. From the very first moment, Kim is related to sacrifice and death, it follows him wherever he goes-

The slaughterhouse.

He lost his parents at two years old. He worked a year in Processing (here's good post about that by @renmorris and @spilledkaleidoscope). He lost his partner, Eyes. People have taken a bullet that was meant for his more than once. His survivor's guilt is insane. He's killed six people. He's afraid of killing recklessly, and has a deeply unhealthy relationship with his gun (made another embarrassingly long post about that).

Kim also hears pale 'ghosts' on the police radio all the time, talks about it like it's normal, and says he doesn't believe in ghosts.

If harry is with Noid during the Moralist dream quest (more on it later), Harry can even wonder if Kim himself is a ghost, prompting this beautiful exchange-

And he's not entirely wrong. When Harry gets shot, after Kim fulfills Espirit's promise and stands in death's way for him, you can ask as you fall into darkness what will happen to you-

It's the living who are ghosts. You can leave them behind and rest. Go into the wild pale yonder, along with everyone else Kim has ever cared about. Or at least you can try to.

When death is at the door, you have two options-

2. After death, life again

Kim might associate himself with death, but Harry associates him with life again and again- Death is darkness, Kim has a light bulb halo. Death is a sunset, Kim is a sunrise. Death is where you are when the game start, it's ready to take you, and then- a clarion call, the sound of a motor carriage, a detective arriving on the scene, and you open your eyes.

Of course Kim is no actual saint, no guardian angel, but it's really telling that even in harry's deification the symbols of Kim's holiness are worldly, almost mundane, the matters of every day life- a celling's fan lightbulb, the engine of a car..

Or the way @binomech said it when discussing Kim's portrait: this is the only thing keeping you from the full brunt of the world in your mind #but truly you are already in the world #and he is just a man #and that's just a car and that's just a ceiling fan

The game is very clear about Harry being a ceaseless agent of the world, but he's not the only one. Harry stands at death's door twice, and Kim is his way back to the world both times.

3. After the world, the pale

So what is Kim's relationship with the pale?

As casual as he might try to appear, Kim is clearly uncomfortable with the pale, afraid of it even. When Harry brings up the pale, he intervenes, genuinely worried for the fragile stability of his mind, trying to protect him-

It's no more terrifying than water or death or that we're stuck behind our eyes for all eternity?? Sounds pretty terrifying Kim...

I think the key is in the moralist vision quest, When Harry attempts to reach the Committee of Responsibility, and he hears the pale crosstalk coming through the radio, when suddenly-

"Pale is a shroud of memories and it doesn't really distinguish to whom those memories belong to. You could hear anything." You could hear anything, but you hear Kim. Soona even says that the odds of us hearing him, out of all the voices in the pale, are astronomically low.

We know the past has not been harmless to Kim, we know it's full of ghosts and cold winters, but that's not the thing that's eating at him-

Kim is afraid of forgetting. He's constantly writing, he thinks through his notebook, always recording, so he wouldn't lose anything. That's why the pale is so terrifying to him.

4. After the pale. the world again

The world is what it is. God is in his heaven. Everything is normal on Earth.

That leads me to the expeditions through the pale-

Volta do Mar is a skill unique to Kim, according to the stats of this pilot jackets, and it's a Physique skill.

It's driving me crazy to think how Kim wanted to be revolutionary pilot as a kid, and is walking around dressed like a pilot as an adult, to give himself the ability to navigate the pale. To return from the sea-

DISTANT ENEMY OF HIMSELF?? kim....

Seeing how Volta do Mar is strengthened by his jackets, and the items' descriptions point out that most of the people who used to wear this jacket are long gone (alongside what they represented) and considering that the only real advance in pale transit is the speed with which an aerostatic craft can pierce it, is seems fitting that returning from the 'sea' requires the kind of armor that ghosts wear- the ghost of who you wanted to be but never could, of a home that was never yours. Glory to them.

@binomech said it best in this conversation we had about Kim's skills: "your traitorous race. your traitorous job. your traitorous parents. your traitorous senses. distant enemy of yourself: seolite, communist, cripple, faggot. and you wear it as armor"

Kim is equipped for Volta do Mar, he armors himself for it every day, for the thing that makes it possible to return sane, and discover a new world-

This is one of the most touching Kim moments in the game to me- putting his hand in the rain, looking up to the sky, mouth open, welcoming the spring rain, even knowing it'll bring death and destruction with it. He is devoted to this world and the role he has to play in it, or at least the role he thinks he has to play-

But we know Kim has a bigger role to play, he's trying to do his part right there, getting Harry to stay-

His connection to Harry can keep him on this world once again- keeping the two of them together. Their real work is down here, him and Harry are Revachol's only hope. If they stick together they might be able to keep her on this earth.

UNITY AMONG THE RANKS IS PARAMOUNT.

I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT.

I LOVE YOU.

[gojoscinnamonroll]

warnings: MDNI + AGELESS BLOGS DNI, f! reader, getting it from the back, unprotected p in v, jealousy (f! reader), pet names, mentions of starting a family :,) , satoru recording you (consented) other than that, half fluff & half smut hehe

popstar bf! satoru who writes (almost every) song about you because he can't help how head over heels in love he is with beautiful you.

popstar bf! satoru who begs for you to leave wine nude colored kisses on his cheek as a final accessory before he goes out on stage before every show, "pretty pleeeeeease my pretty girl? i can't perform yet until my signature accessory is on"

popstar bf! satoru who brings you to every show and whenever you aren't able to make it, makes one of his security guards record the whole thing for you to watch later.

popstar bf! satoru who is sure to mention you in every interview and talk show he's featured in & always make sure to let the world know how much you are his biggest inspiration.

popstar bf! satoru who has always been so so so grateful that you have been by his side for his entire dream and never gave up on him at all ever since he started writing music in the classrooms of jujutsu high.

popstar bf! satoru who knows there is always a fan or groupie around somewhere, everywhere that you and him go. he never lets it bother him because you, you are the only one he has his sights on and if anything, follows you around like some cartoon character floating behind you and drooling with heart eyes as if you're the popstar.

but the only problem?

is that you can't help but shake the feeling how much it pesters you when you can't even enjoy some personal time with him without some fan always trying to flirt and get in his pants right in front of you. you've always been so elated to see him get the recognition and praise he's worked so hard for when his precious fans come up to him and ask for a picture or autograph, but girls like this? you can't help but feel like crashing out because how known does he have to make it that he's all yours?? but don't worry because

popstar bf! satoru who is always so observant of you, notices when you start letting the bothersome fangirls and groupies get to your head. "princess, please don't let them mess with that pretty head of yours or worry about what they say about us, okay? i want you to always know that none of them has anything on you. it's always going to be me and you forever , and i'll do anything i can to show the world that."

and he's true to his words because backstage in the dressing room before his next show,

popstar bf! satoru has you in the mirror looking back at him in a state of bliss as he has your hair in a soft grip and sliding his thick and veiny length in and out of your dripping cunny. "it's all yours my pretty baby, i belong to you and you only." he heavily breathed in your ear.

and that's when a lightbulb lit up over his head.

he reached over for his phone that was by your hands holding onto the dressing room table for stability and opened up the voice memo app.

popstar bf! satoru who whispered in your ear, "you sound so beautiful taking this cock baby, surprised youuu aren't the popstar singer, g'nna make this the intro or background vocals to my next song mhmm." his charming words in your ear only made you more aroused than you already were and he felt it too, the way that your walls started to cling onto him like it didn't want him to ever leave or move. "ah!- fuck! don't worry baby i'm not g- going anywhere." he groaned in ecstasy as you watched him throw his head of fluffy, snowy, white hair back in the mirror.

popstar bf! satoru who is so pussy drunk off of you that he decides now is the time he wants to start a family with you. " 'm gonna give you a baby, you just f- feel so good, one wouldn't hurt right? p- please say yes mama" he started to pant. he was coming so close.

"mmh, y- yes 'toru, give it to me, fuck! i wanna have your baby!"

popstar bf! satoru who fills you up so much with hot, white ribbons of his seed at the same time as you spasming all over his length. once the both of you come down from your high, he cleans up your leaky mess with the warm moist towels provided in the dressing room, and you help him finish getting ready for his show.

popstar bf! satoru who watches you in adoration as you style his hair sitting face him on the vanity table, "let's start thinking of ways we can announce baby gojo!! what do you say? mommy?" as he kissed you on your tummy.

reblogs & likes are very much appreciated! pls don't copy or steal my works <3

[rainydayathogwarts]

omg james trying to get remus and reader to be together and setting them up would be hilarious

Part of my potter!reader x remus secret relationship au 0.7k wc

The last thing Remus had been expecting when he was reading his book in the common room were those specific words tumbling out of James's mouth. "I think she's an absolutely lovely person." He had replied to James's inquiry, trying not to be suspicious. After what Sirius had told him about James speculating between him and James's precious sister, he had learned not to trot so close to the edge. Now, instead of sneaking off with you when everyone was free, stealing kisses from each other in a hidden corner of the library, you resorted to be more daring when James had quidditch practice, attention stowed away to his beloved sport. If anything, you and Remus did share a free period no one else had, locking yourselves in a dorm for the hour.

The only thing Sirius had forgotten to mention was that Lily had convinced James that whilst you and Remus weren't dating, it would be an amazing idea to set up his most respectful friend with his sister. So that's exactly what the teenager was up to. "Lovely enough to go on a date with?" Remus froze, feeling the energy in the room drop. Unfortunately for him, he missed the most crucial part of James's sentence: his suggestive tone. "Well, I mean, I suppose - well what do you mean by that?"

"Remus, there's no one I trust more at Hogwarts to be dating my sister. So I was wondering if you'd like to go out with her." All the blood that had drained from Remus's face moments before suddenly came rushing back, feeling his face flush too quickly for his liking. "Oh, well I suppose I would." Remus sighed at James's happy hum, turning subtly to look at Sirius, sitting on a lonely armchair, a wide grin on his face. The boy raised his eyebrows twice at Remus suggestively, who only now realised that he'd probably known about this the entire time. Remus picked his book up again, beginning to scroll through the pages to find where he'd left off, thinking he had to tell you about this conversation later.

A slump in the couch next to him had him abandoning his book once more, looking up to see you sitting next to him. "Hey y/n!" James started up again cheerfully, unusually ignoring Lily as she walked by to speak to Sirius. "By any chance are you free this Saturday?" You hummed thoughtfully, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "That depends on if anyone wants to go to Hogsmeade with me since Lily wasn't up for it." Remus almost saw the lightbulb appear above James's head, a sentence line forming in his mouth. "Oh Remus would love to come with you! Wouldn't he?"

If you were confused before, you definitely are now, turning towards your boyfriend with a "Huh?" Behind him, Sirius began giggling, poking at Lily's side to avert her attention to you. "What's this about?" You questioned, watching as a small smile made its way onto Remus's face. "I think your brother's trying to set us up." He said confidently, biting his lip to hold in his laugh. "Oh! Well, you know what, I'd love for you to come with me then." Shit. Your lack of hesitation had most definitely given you away now, you thought. The lot of you went silent, and you turned around to catch your brother's facial expression just as he said "Lily said I wasn't missing anything before but I'm not so sure about that now."

You winced at the tone, eyes on James as he stood up, sassily putting his hands on his hips. "James the truth is..." Remus started, glancing between the two Potters, "I already asked y/n out like two days ago. And she already said yes." James's eyebrows shot up in shock, a small "Oh" escaping his lips, arms falling slack on either side of his body. "Oh that's fine then." You slumped back into the couch in relief, the lie luckily escaping James's realm of realisation, one of your hands snaking between your and Remus's body to hold his hand.

"Wait you were going to tell me though right?"

[munsonsmixtapes]

Baby

Evan "Buck" Buckley x shy!probie!fem!reader

part one part two part three part four

summary: you and Buck finally decide to take your relationship to the next level after he reads an excerpt of a smutty book to you in a bookstore

word count: 5.8k

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (wrap it before you smack it) oral (f and m receiving) Buck receives a handjob

You and Buck entered the book store hand in hand. Most of the books he read were for school and when he got older, they were either help or had to do with his profession. He never really thought about doing it for fun. But seeing your collection made him want to get into the kinds of books you read. 

He wanted to know what made you gravitate towards those above all the others. What was so good about the romance, the sex on page. Especially the sex on page. He had wanted to read some of your books when he had come over, but you had always stopped him because it embarrassed you.

“So where do we start?” Buck asked, rubbing his hands together as he looked around the store, the entire place filled with shelves and shelves of books. Before he could take it all in, you grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards your favorite section, Buck following blindly since he was happy to follow you anywhere. 

“Just follow me,” you told him. 

“Happy to,” he smiled even though you couldn’t see him. You were too focused on where you were leading him to and he looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes. 

You kept hold of his hand as you stopped at the romance section, your eyes lighting up as you looked at all of your options. You knew exactly what you were there for, but were now overwhelmed by all of the new options. 

You reached for one of the books you had come there for and after only a few minutes of looking, you were now holding five books. Buck just stood there and watched you in admiration, loving that you had a hobby that you enjoyed that much. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t think there was anything he loved that much. Well, except for spending time with you. That, he had really grown fond of. 

As he stood there, watching you, a lightbulb went off. Standing next to you with his hand in yours, he was slowly starting to realize that he was falling in love with you. And hard. He decided that he didn’t want to be with anyone else. You were it for him. And thinking about spending the rest of his life with you made the tightness in his chest go away. All of the anxiety that seemed to linger completely disappeared when he was around you.

He had never felt that way about anyone before. Well, he had, but he always pushed it down, completely ignoring it. Falling in love absolutely terrified Buck. People always left him, so he tried his best to push down his feelings so he didn’t feel them. It was a kind of vulnerability that was foreign to him. But for you, though, he was ready to dive in head first. 

He could see it all, a proposal, a wedding, a cute little house with the white picket fence where your children and the dog you were going to inevitably have ran around the yard while the two of you sat on the front porch sipping from mugs filled with coffee. God, he was in deep and for once, he didn’t even care.

“Buck?” You asked, waving your hand in front of his face. He shook his head, completely zoning back into the real word. How long had he been out? His head snapped to you, your soft hand landing on his cheek. He immediately reached up and rested his hand on top of it, leaning into your touch, letting his eyes close. 

“Hm?” He asked, falling back into his dreamy state. 

“You okay?” You asked, your thumb moving back and forth across his cheek. He nodded, deciding that he was absolutely perfect, that this was exactly what he had wished for for years. Someone who cared about him in return. Because apparently that had been too much to ask until now. He gave and gave until he had nothing left and everyone always selfishly took all of his affection and ran. But you wouldn’t have. He was sure of it. 

“I’m perfect,” he replied, opening his blue eyes, staring into yours. 

“Can I take those for you?” He asked, referring to the evergrowing stack of books in your hand. You handed them off to him and he took them, holding them so gently as if he was cradling a baby in his arms. 

“You don’t have to do this, Buck. Seriously,” you told him, your voice getting softer. 

“That was the whole point of the trip, baby,” he reminded you. The whole reason why you had been there was to celebrate you being with the 118 for six months. And maybe Buck just wanted an excuse to spoil you, but he never would have told you that. 

“I just feel bad,” you looked down at the carpet you were standing on, but Buck quickly reached out and grabbed hold of your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. 

“I have to spend my money on someone, don’t I?” He asked, tilting his head in that adorable way that you had grown to love. 

“Fine,” you sighed. “But you have to get something too.”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “This is all about you. Did you still want this one?” He pointed at the one you had put back. You just nodded and Buck grabbed it and added to the stack before excusing himself to grab a basket.

You watched him make conversation with the woman behind the register that the baskets just so happened to be right by, feeling your heart swell. You loved seeing him interact with other people, the smile on his face becoming so infectious. He was just so sweet and kind that you couldn’t help but fall in love with him. You were in love with him. And the thing was, you didn’t want to stop it. 

You had the same bad luck in the romance department that Buck did. People just didn’t like how shy you were, how soft spoken. They didn’t like how you always wanted to stay in and read with a glass of wine as opposed to going out. But Buck, he embraced all of that, making you feel like you could be yourself around, something that had always scared you. He was slowly bringing you out of your shell but only on your own terms. He would never have forced you to do something that you didn’t want to, always telling you that it was okay to say no.

And when he told you that he was totally okay with taking it slow, you almost broke down in tears. None of your exes had ever been that gentle or patient with you. As soon as they found out that you weren’t going to put out, they hit the road, never wanting to speak to you again. 

You had had sex. Not as much as Buck, but you had a few times. You hated it every time, though. All of your partners had been selfish, taking whatever they wanted from you, not even bothering to check in and make sure that you were enjoying yourself. So after that, you vowed that you wouldn’t do it again. You couldn’t. The thought of being intimate in that way terrified you. 

That was why you sought it out in fiction. You could get all the pleasure you needed without a partner. In the dark of the night with nothing but the words on the page and your vibrator to get you off. It was the perfect combination and you were sure to cum every time. There wasn’t anyone there to take advantage of you or critique you, telling you that you weren’t being loud enough and you certainly didn’t have to fake an orgasm.

But lately, your mind drifted to Buck, letting him be the new main character in your late night fantasies. You never would have told him, but he was the one you were seeing as the main male character in your books. You had become obsessed with the idea that you were flying through more books than you normally did, wanting to see what the fictional versions of yourselves were going to get up to. 

“Got the basket,” Buck smiled, holding up the thing that was now carrying your books. You felt your cheeks burn as if he could have known exactly what you were thinking about. It was perfectly normal to have been thinking about your boyfriend in a sexual manner, so you didn’t know why you were so embarrassed about it. 

“Where to next?” He asked and you grabbed his hand, heading to the part of the store where you knew the historical romances were. 

Once you got to the section, you scanned the shelves, unsure what you were looking for, but wanting something. Those types of books were always super smutty and that was what you were in the mood for. You needed something to feed off of with your fantasies and there was no way in hell that you were going to ask that of Buck. 

“Oh, I think my mom reads these,” he said, reaching over your shoulder to grab one that had caught his eye. It was a pirate romance, with two people embracing on the cover, a man and a woman. The woman was wearing a dress that barely covered her body and the man was dressed in a puffy pirate-like shirt that perfectly showed off his muscles. He was looking down at the woman like he wanted to devour her and Buck could tell that that was exactly what was going to happen in the book. 

He flipped through the pages and you felt yourself blush as you realized what he was looking for. He stood behind you, putting the book right in your line of sight. Your eyes skimmed over the page he had opened to and you wanted to get out of there, but he had his arms draped over your chest, pulling you to him. 

“Wesley’s hand slid into Ari’s underwear,” he whispered into your ear, his voice all dramatic as he read. “His fingers found her cunt with ease and he slid them inside her, causing her to-” You weren’t even paying attention to his words, suddenly feeling wet. You had felt that way around Buck more times than you could count, but you were able to get it under control. This time, though, it was different. You suddenly wanted him, resisting the urge to take him right there against the bookshelf. 

“God, they really don’t leave any detail out, do they?” He asked with a chuckle as he closed the book, putting it back on the shelf. Your eyes suddenly closed, imagining just what it would have felt like for him to stick his hand down your underwear and do exactly what Wesley had done to Ari. “I can see why people like it, though. It’s hot,” he shrugged and turned to you, squeezing your shoulder to get your attention. 

“You okay?” he asked and you immediately pulled yourself out of your fantasy, turning to him, seeing his blue eyes filled with concern. 

“I’m fine. I think I’m good here.”

“You only got five books.”

“How many did you want me to get, because that right there is already over a hundred dollars.”

“I told you that there was no spending limit. Didn’t you have a couple on your TBR that you wanted to get?” It made you smile that he remembered all of the terminology that you had taught him. 

“No, I think I’m good for now. I-I need you, Buck,” you said, stepping towards him and he closed the gap, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m right here, baby.” 

“No, Buck,” you grabbed onto his shirt, fisting it. “I need you.” Oh. Oh. Now he understood. 

“Are you sure we should do this here?” He whispered. “Right now?” 

“We could always go to your jeep,” your finger ran along the hem collar of his shirt and a very flirty look appeared on your face. One that he had seen many times before, but never to that degree. 

“Y-yeah,” he cleared his throat, trying to hold back a laugh. He then pressed a brief kiss to your lips and took you by the hand before leading you to the checkout counter. 

He set the basket on the counter with a big smile and wrapped an arm around you as the cashier rang up your books. Now he was getting antsy, but trying his best to hide it. He would have been happy waiting if that was what you wanted, but now that you told him that you were ready, he was more than happy to take that next step with you. 

Buck paid for the books and held the bag in one hand and your hand in the other as the two of you head to his jeep. Your heart was pounding as you realized what you were about to do, but you were also really excited, knowing that Buck was going to be nothing but a gentleman. 

He sped down the street to the apartment building where you both lived and practically dragged you to the elevator where he pressed the button for your floor since you would get to your place quicker. 

He really hoped that no one would be coming in and he pressed his lips to yours, slowly backing you up against the wall. This kiss had been more heated than your other ones. There was more passion. He licked into your mouth as your hands trailed up his shirt, pressing against his abs as you pulled his tongue into your mouth, giving it a suck. 

You could hear a whimper in the back of his throat along with the ding of the elevator, letting it know that it had stopped on your floor. You backed him out of the elevator and into the hallway, the two of you only breaking apart to unlock your door. 

As soon as you were inside, the door closed with a slam and you both kicked off your socks and shoes before he backed you up against the island, helping you up onto it as he spread your knees apart so he could fit between them. Your hands pulled on his shirt but his rested on top of yours, his blue eyes boring into yours. 

“Are you sure you want to keep going?” He asked. Buck would have never forgiven himself if he had done something you had felt comfortable with. 

“Positive. I’m giving very enthusiastic consent.” 

“But just because you give it doesn’t mean you can’t take it away. Let me know if I do something you don’t like.” 

“And the same goes for you.” 

“C’mon,” he grabbed onto your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist before lifting you up from the counter. He then connected your lips, moving them together slowly as he carried you up the stairs to his bed where he laid you down. He hovered over you, so much love filling his eyes as he looked down at you. Your lips were so pretty and kiss bitten and your eyes were glazed over with lust and Buck didn’t think you could have ever looked more beautiful. 

He grabbed a condom from his bedside table and threw it onto the bed beside you before lowering himself down onto you. He kissed you slow and deep, as if he had all the time in the world as his hands moved up your shirt, grabbing onto your bare hips, his rough fingers feeling so good on your warm skin. You suddenly wanted them everywhere. 

He slowly removed your shirt and marveled at your breasts clearly seeing your hardened nippled through your thin bra. You were absolutely magnificent. He peppered your chest with kisses as his hands slid underneath you to unclasp your bra. Once it was removed, he let it fall to the floor and looked down at your bare chest, taking it all in. 

“Fucking beautiful,” he said, pressing a kiss between your tits before moving downwards, giving your stomach some love. You laid there, pliant under his touch, the whole thing already going much better than it had with any of your previous partners. Buck was so sweet and really seemed to care about how he was making you feel. 

His hands slid into your leggings and he slowly pulled them off of you, seeing the wet patch that was on your underwear as he did so. He then hovered his hands over your panties and looked up at you, as if to ask for permission. 

You nodded and a breathy “Take them off,” fell from your lips. Buck slowly removed them and spread your legs to get a good look at what he was working with. You were absolutely soaked and he was wondering just how long you had been holding that in. 

“Can I say something really quick?” you asked and Buck’s head snapped up to yours. 

“Anything,” he nodded, closing your legs as he sensed this was not going to be dirty talk. 

“I um-” you cleared your throat. “I can’t-I haven’t been able to-orgasm. At least not with a partner. So don’t feel bad if you can’t get me there, okay?” Buck was surprised by your words. He couldn’t believe that you were blaming yourself when not being able to orgasm wasn’t your fault. That was entirely up to your partner to get you there. 

“You know that’s not your fault, right?” he asked, lowering himself onto his knees in front of you as you sat up. “That was entirely up to them to make you feel good and they couldn’t do it. Did you not enjoy it?” 

“No,” you shook your head as your cheeks burned while also feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as you finally admitted it. “But I feel like if anyone could do it, it would be you.”

“Do you want to test that theory?” He asked, his flirty tone taking over again. 

“Yes, please,” you said, lying back onto the bed. He pressed a kiss to your knee and spread your legs again. He grabbed onto your thigh and straightened out your leg before peppering it in kisses as he moved up it, wanting to warm you up before he dove in. He did the same thing with your other leg before draping both over his shoulders. 

He then slowly inched his face closer to your cunt, giving you opportunity to back out if you wanted to. He then slowly pressed his face into it. You let out a gasp when his nose brushed it and your fingers wound into his hair as he mouthed your clit, sucking on the spot and feeling his dick getting hard as a whimper fell from your lips. He licked and sucked on the spot, taking his time, fully intending to give you the best head of your life. A moan escaped from your throat and you both paused, Buck pulling away to grin at you. 

“That’s it, baby,” he urged. “Just like that. You’re doing great.” He dove back in for more, wanting to taste more of you, but to also hear more of your delectable sounds. His mouth was back on your clit in a flash, licking and sucking some more, trying to not smile to himself as you continued to moan. He had you right where he wanted you and he had barely even done anything yet. He couldn’t wait to see how you would react once he was actually inside you. 

He moved lower, tonguing your slit, licking back and forth between the seam before going in with his lips, giving it a hard suck as his hands moved up to your thighs, spreading your legs wider to have more access to you. He then lightly grazed your cunt with his teeth and his ears perked up at your loud moan as your thighs pressed against his head as your ankles locked together at the back of his neck. 

Buck continued his movements, loving how hard you were pulling onto his hair, knowing that you were enjoying it just as much as he was. You tasted so good and he loved how quickly he was able to make you come undone. He bet you looked so hot, so beautiful as the noises came from your mouth, wondering what you looked like when you orgasmed. He bet you looked so good with your mouth wide open, sweaty all over, your labored breathing. He couldn’t wait to see it. 

He shoved his tongue inside you and couldn’t help but notice how tight you were, but he wasn’t going to comment on it. He didn’t want to embarrass you and certainly didn’t feel like it mattered. He knew you hadn’t been intimate in a while and fully intended on making you feel so good, so special. 

He swirled his tongue around and was convinced that you were going to pull his hair out with how hard you were yanking it, but he hardly cared. You were reacting exactly how he wanted you to. His tongue hit just the right spot and your back arched in pleasure as a scream ripped through you. 

“Buck, oh my god,” you screamed as you reached your orgasm, stars forming in your eyes, your vision going hazy. This was exactly what you had been expecting with your other partners. It was all you wanted and apparently it had been very simple since it hadn’t taken Buck long to get you there. But that was what had separated him from your other partners. He had actually cared about what you had wanted, what had made you feel good. 

“More,” was all you were able to say in a whimper between breaths. “Please.” His tongue continued to swirl around, on the hunt for another spot and by another moan, he could tell that he had found it. He then removed his tongue from you and moved back to your slit, trying to lap up every last bit of slick that he could find. He licked and sucked, eating up every last moan you were able to give up, loving how crazy he was able to make you with just his mouth. 

Another screamed ripped through you and Buck figured it was time to call it quits, pulling his face away from you and sitting back on his knees. He looked up at you, feeling his cock getting hard as he was finally able to see just how fucked out you were. Your eyes were glazed over and your body was glistening with a light sheen of sweat. He didn’t think you could have possibly looked hotter. 

“Holy shit,” you breathed. “You can do that any time you want.” Oh, he was so going to take you up on that offer. Feeling his shirt clinging to him, he ripped it off of him and tossed it to the side before pulling off his jeans, hating the feeling of his clothing sticking to his sweat body. 

He then collapsed onto the bed next to you, feeling his cock ache from being so hard, but he felt like he needed to give you a minute to come down from your orgasm before he tried anything else. You turned to him, your eyes trailing down his body and stopping once they got to his cock that was very much tenting in his boxers. 

You wanted to see it, touch it, feel it inside you and maybe in your mouth. Definitely in your mouth. He could see you staring and you were glad he couldn’t see the drool gathering in your mouth as you thought about sucking him off. His cheeks burned and he almost wanted to cover himself up, but decided that he had nothing to be embarrassed about. You were his girlfriend and it was totally normal for him to be turned on by you. 

“I can…take care of that for you,” you told him and he nodded enthusiastically as a whimper passed his lips. He wanted you to do whatever you wanted to him. 

“God, please,” he whined and you spit into your hand and slowly stuck it down into his pants, going straight for his cock which was very hard and veiny and sticky. You pumped your hand and he let out a moan as you did so, finally able to let it free. You then helped him remove his underwear completely, his cock springing free, needing more room to work on him, everything getting crowded in his boxers. 

It was bigger than you imagined and you wondered how it was even going to fit inside you when the time came. Somehow, though, you knew he’d make it work. You watched him come undone as you continued to jack him off, your movements slow at first, but eventually, gradually getting faster as you got more confident in what you were doing. You watched his face, eating up every single movement and moan and whimper falling from his lips. His eyes were shut tight and his hands grasped at the bedding underneath him, already feeling like he was close. 

He let out a loud scream that mixed in with his heavy breathing and you continued, desperate to hear the sound again. You watched his mouth open wider, his name leaving your lips as he reached his climax, cum leaking from his cock as he did so. He was so hot and you needed to taste him immediately. 

You moved your hand from him and made eye contact with him as you licked the cum that had gotten onto it, watching his eyes widen as he realized that he had created a monster. Where had you learned to do that? Because he certainly hadn’t taught that to you. 

“Christ,” he groaned and you lowered yourself on top of him, pressing your lips to his before dipping your tongue into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to see what he tasted like. He took your tongue into his mouth and gave it a rough suck before pulling away, desperate to have you suck him off. 

You kissed your way down his chest to his stomach just like he had done, but you were slower with it, letting your tongue stroke his sweaty skin, taking your time to work him up again. You could feel him squirming underneath you, desperate for you and you just continued, wanting him to beg for it. 

“Baby, please,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down your arms and you paused, looking up at him before moving even lower, making eye contact with him before slowly taking the tip of his cock into your mouth. You slovenly swirled your tongue around the head, trying to lick up every last drop of his cum. You looked up at him, watching him lose his mind and you like being on the other side, being the one to give the pleasure. 

You then took a little more into your mouth as your hand wrapped around the base, your tongue flattening against the underside of his cock, continuing to suck on him while your tongue gently stroked him. You hadn’t even done much yet and he could already confidently say that this was the best blowjob of his life. 

“Baby, oh my god,” he moaned. “So good.” You took that as an invitation to continue, sucking a little harder this time, removing your hand to take all of him into your mouth. He gasped as he looked down and watched you, quick to wipe away the tear that had fallen from your eyes.

“I knew you could take it,” he breathed. “I like this side of you, Jesus Christ.” Your hand reached for his balls and you fiddled with them before giving them a tight squeeze, Buck’s back hitting the mattress as he was becoming overstimulated. But there was no way that he was going to ask you to stop. He was enjoying it too much, the feeling of you sucking him off, watching you work on him, getting worked up just from seeing it all play out before him.

He was close, he could feel it building inside of him. Just one more stroke of your tongue and he’d be done for, absolutely fucked out. He was definitely going to need a break, but after that, he was going to fuck you senseless for giving him the best head of his life. Well, he was going to do that anyway. 

His back arched as he screamed your name, more cum leaking out onto your tongue. You slowly removed him from your mouth and swallowed before moving to lay next to him, the both of you getting under the covers. You both laid in silence, the only thing that could be heard was your heavy breaths, the events of what had just happened replaying in your heads on a loop. 

His hand reached for yours and you let him take it, him giving yours a squeeze before bringing it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to it. You turned to him, giving him a warm smile as your free hand moved to his hair, moving the hairs that had stuck to his forehead away from it. As he looked at you, hearts practically forming in his eyes, he began to realize that this was the moment. You had been so vulnerable with him that he felt like it was only right that he was the same with you. He took a deep breath, pulling up the script in his head that he had written out, but immediately trashing it, wanting this moment to be unscripted. From the heart. 

“I love you,” he said, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He hadn’t ever said those words to anyone. At least, not in a romantic sense. But as he said it, he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders as he watched your face change, a huge smile breaking out on your face. God, you were adorable. 

He loved you. He loved you. You had hoped he felt the same, but you hadn’t been exactly sure. Despite all of his bad luck in that department, he had let his walls down and let himself fall in love with you. He was so tired of fighting it, even though he had wanted to accept it. And now he had. And he had even been the first to say it, which was a surprise, but you weren’t sure that you could have done it. The vulnerability scared you. But not anymore. He had done the scary part and now you felt like you owed him the truth in return.

“I love you too, Buck,” you replied and in response, he pulled you on top of him, intertwining his fingers with your and pressing a big sloppy kiss to your lips. He smiled against them and you couldn’t help but mimic him, your teeth clinking together as a result. You laughed into his mouth and he didn’t think he could have been happier than he was in that moment. 

He sat up and pressed his back against the headboard and you straddled his waist, your naked bodies pressing together. Your hands moved to his hair as your lips pressed to his, your kisses slow and messy as if you had all the time in the world, because you did. Your tongue swiped along the seam of his lips and he let you in with no hesitation, letting your tongue swirl around his leisurely. You then pulled away before he was ready, looking him in the eyes and he knew exactly what you wanted. 

“I want to feel you,” you told him, your hand scratching at his scalp and his partially closing his eyes at the feeling. “Is that okay? I’m-I’m on birth control and I got tested not too long ago. I’m good.”

“Me too,” he nodded. “I want to feel you too.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and helped you settle onto him, both of you moaning at the foreign feeling. You hesitantly bucked your hips against his as you both moved together, trying to get used to being connected in that way. 

His hands moved to your back, cradling you as yours moved to his shoulders, your pace picking up every so slightly. He was so gentle with you, always checking in to make sure you were comfortable, guiding you in any way he could. 

This was the most gentle sex Buck had ever had and he would have been lying if he said he didn’t like it. He liked all of the slow movements and the way you two were connected in such a loving way, holding onto each other, almost as if it was an embrace. 

You continued to ride him as your head tilted back, a delicious moan falling from your lips. All of your shyness and embarrassment had fallen away and it had seemed as though the love confession had opened up a whole new side of you. A more confident side that Buck loved to be the only one to see. That you felt comfortable enough to let all your walls down and let him see the real you.

“Look at you,” he said through breaths. “Taking me so well.” 

Your pace picked up a little more and you were close already. So close that you could see the edges of your vision starting to haze. There was no way you could have ever slept with anyone else after this. Not like you wanted to anyway. You wanted to be with Buck for the rest of your life. You were sure of it, even if you weren’t quite ready to admit that to him or yourself. 

“So pretty when you moan my name, baby. I wanna hear it again.”

Buck watched another orgasm roll through you and wasn’t sure if he’d ever stop finding you screaming his name so hot. Your back arched, causing your stomach to touch his and then you eventually melted into him, your head falling against his shoulder. His hands moved up and down your back as he let your stay there as you came down from your climax. 

Once you were good to go, he helped you off of him and you both laid on your sides, chest to chest as you held each other, whispering “I love you’s” into the dark while sharing kisses and the moments when you first fell for each other. 

As you both fell asleep that night, all you could think about was how lucky you felt to have found a man like him. Maybe things between the two of you were a bit rocky at first, but now you were completely inseparable. Tied together by your love for each other and nothing, absolutely nothing would ruin your special bond.

[princesssmars]

thinking about how vi loves to be close to you. maybe too close. slight nsfw.

one of your favorite things about your girlfriend was just how passionate she could be about whatever she was doing. if you spotted a nice looking jacket at a stall walking through the lanes, she was charming and gagging the owner until it rested over your shoulders. if you made an off handed comment about wanting to start a better workout routine, she was carefully altering your diet and taking up the spot as your fitness trainer in the living area of your shared apartment.

but you really loved how passionate she was about touching you. after getting out of prison and reuniting you could see how conflicted she was, the memories of your soft hands caressing her skin fighting against the recollections of the ‘punishments’ she would receive in stillwater. you had told her you wouldn’t push her into anything that put her into a bad head space, that you’d wait how ever long she needed before she touched someone again.

you knew she appreciated the sentiment, truly she did, but when she came to see you later that night she put away most of your shared doubts about being too aversed to touch.

even still, you tried to take care with any physical contact you initiated with her. you made sure she knew you were behind her before wrapping your arms around her waist, looking into her eyes for silent consent before pressing a barrage of kisses to her cheeks and face. it was a slow process, but it was oh so worth it when after a few weeks of careful touches she started to come out of her shell.

but gods, did you start to regret it after a while.

vi has always been a confident woman, but you never knew how confident until she revealed just how much she loves to touch you. you can still hear her cackle after she came up behind you in the kitchen and straight up picked you up off the floor, holding you for a few seconds before setting you down with a kiss to your cheek and heading back to do whatever she was doing.

and she gets acclimated to touching you often very quickly. you definitely weren’t complaining when she’d start an impromptu make out session while relaxing on the couch, or joining you in the bath to help each other ‘unwind’, or simply flipping her body into yours on the bed after shared hard days at work.

and then the pda starts.

vi had finally gotten a promotion at her security job, and youd decided to take her out to jericho's to celebrate. while a little gross you thought it was endearing how she always ate his meals like she was starving, gulping it down quicker than you could finish a quarter of your bowl. when she had turned to you with a tahnks and a smile, you gently wiped away some of the juice leftover on her chin, innocently sticking your thumb in your mouth.

she smiled and you could see a faint flush over her cheeks. and then she allegedly saw some juice dribbling down your chin and neck, and decided it only made sense to lean over and lick it of if you.

"vi! what the hell was that?"

"what? was returning the favor. plus you look so adorable right now."

and like a lightbulb appeared over her head, she then decided the best way to show her physical affection from that point onwards was upfront and in public. you couldn't walk anywhere without feeling her hands resting on a part of your body, her strong grip tugging you back to her if you strayed too far. you both knew she was riling you up but she liked to pretend she didn't know what she was doing.

well, that was until she finally showed you how possessive she could truly be. she'd shown the trait before, leaving hickeys up and down your neck and giving looks you're 90% sure could actually kill behind your back to anyone who stared at you for too long. but you were both out in the cheap markets looking for some more decorations to liven up the house, a kind old woman holding up an old keepsake from her old village to help you see as you bent over the selling counter.

apparently, some guy had been staring too hard and too intensely at your bent-over form because while you were in the middle of inquiring about the details on the ornament you felt a large familiar palm slip into the back pocket of your pants and squeeze. you really wish you could say you didn't startle the poor old woman with your yelp, but...

and while you were a little pissed about being flustered in public, you couldn't find it in you to stay mad at your beautiful girlfriend who was finally coming out of her shell. especially when she made up for it when you got home, hands and mouth all over your body as she brought you to a sweet release again and again and again <3

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Thingol, Luthien, and Dior’s claim to the silmaril bugs the living daylights outta me and I’m gonna break down why. This goes a bit beyond ownership laws.

Starting with basics. What are the silmarils? Gems created by Fëanor that hold the light of the Two Trees. Who in Beleriand saw the light of the trees and no doubt misses it like a limb? Are here in part to avenge their destruction? The Noldor.

The Sindar never went to Valinor. They might find the gems beautiful but that’s it. There’s no cultural or emotional connection to them beyond ‘pretty stone, look how awesome our princess was.’ There’s no appreciation for what they hold. No understanding that this stone is one of the *last* things that holds the ancient light of the Trees.

The Noldor meanwhile not only saw the Light, they had entire festivals surrounding it. Grew their entire culture, their lives, under and around it. Now the trees are destroyed, their king killed defending these jewels. And this last beacon of hope, a piece of the home they can never return to, a piece of light that will never come back, is being kept by people who can’t even begin to understand the significance of what they keep.

Now imagine being the sons of the one who made this jewel from a culture of people who value craft above all else.

Not only is it light, it’s the result of years of toil and experimentation of your father, the one who managed to do what no one had ever even thought of. Fëanor’s sons would have been the first to see these jewels, probably saw him make prototypes, work equations whilst they worked on their own crafts. Provided what relief they could to his ever working mind and inadvertently gave him ideas that helped solve problems he encountered along the way. Suddenly it’s not only a key part of their culture, it’s something core to their family.

Then Fëanor is killed and in many ways it’s the most important thing they have left of their father. Now it’s a source of memory too, for someone doomed to the Halls for eternity. Who they’ll likely never see again unless they’re killed.

Now from what I’ve heard, Tolkien says the Fëanorions lost their right to the Silmarils when they killed for them. Which makes no sense considering the Silmarils were *created* by Fëanor. Yes the light was created by the Valar, but what, you’re gonna say ‘I created electricity so that lightbulb you made is actually mine.’ That’s not how it works. Fëanor made the casing for the stones and figured out how to hold the light, without aid from the Valar. It doesn’t matter what actions they take, the right to the Silmarils remain theirs and theirs alone. The jewels hold no power of their own, they’re literally objects. Healing objects at most. Morals do not dictate their ownership, hallowed or not.

Tolkien going on to say the right of Doriath’s Silmaril actually goes to Beren and Luthien for taking it from Morgoth gives me frankly coloniser vibes.

‘Oh this thing I stole was originally stolen from you? Too bad. I took it so it’s mine now. Don’t care how important it is to you, your entire culture, and your people.’

Get where I’m coming from?

All in all the whole situation gives me Bad Vibes and I really don’t like the attitude the Sindar have to the Silmaril. In terms of Elwing, I can partly forgive her purely based on trauma response. Fine. Doesn’t make it right, but I understand. But that never would’ve been a problem if her father, grandmother, or great grandfather had the sense to acknowledge the silmaril was never theirs to keep. Don’t like the Fëanorions, (too bad) at least give it back to the Noldor.