#dude tumblrs tagging system has been so fucked lately
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SREEDIE YOU UPDATED and I haven’t even read the last chapter yet…
in my defence, I have moved countries so uh… keep waiting for me, my love, I shall soon return from the war <3
YOU MOVED?!??? I demand details please. I’ll wait forever for you my reekie-leekie. <3
#I’m like 90% sure you lives down under before#OMG WHERE ARE YOU NOW???#I love getting your life updates haha#you slide into my DMs like ‘yo I made this bomb ass dessert want a play by play?’#& I’m like duh bitch why are you even asking that??#anyway I miss you of course because if I’m not feuding with my divorced wife then what’s the point of getting out of bed in the morning#*slams open cabinet of perfectly in tact lightbulbs*#& I HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF LIGHTBULBS BECAUSE YOU HAVENT COME UH SMASHING BABE#ok anyway that’s it I love ya I miss ya and I hope you’re super excited about your move!#wohoooo!!!#leekie tag#leeeeeeekiiiieeee#dude tumblrs tagging system has been so fucked lately#they get rid of tumblr live and somehow manage to fuck up the tags#idk maybe because I’m on mobile but I can’t see any of my last tags#and someone like me who rambles in the tags needs to keep an eye on what they’ve said and sometimes I forget what I’m even talking about#I swear I’m the most distracting human even to myself fuckkkk#leekie I miss you#fucking come back to me
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I Got Really Into Anti/Proship Discourse And Read +30 Academic Studies - My Findings
(It’s a Yapfest but the whole post is a very long essay and study on morality and fiction and children’s safety and rape culture with a fuckton of freely accessible academic articles and resources on the subject, and I want to talk to other people about it. For a shorter abstract with all the articles and more easily ignored yapping, see my shiny new Carrd:)
It’s been a little shocking lately to have certain discussions with some parts of fandom. I spoke about shipping/harassment and how that contributes to the death of fandom on TikTok assuming that younger folks are just really, really intense about preventing sexual violence, but the more I saw the words “morally wrong” and “disgusting” and “addiction,” the more I thought about this guy-
That’s Jerry Falwell, and I fucking hate this dead guy. You see, Jerry Falwell was a preacher who hated porn, feminism, and homosexuality. And I'm seeing his rhetoric and reworked quotes a lot.
Jerry would say stuff like:
“Pornography hurts anyone who reads it - garbage in, garbage out.”
“Someone must not be afraid to say ‘moral perversion is wrong.’ If we do not act now, homosexuals will ‘own’ America!”
Jerry wanted people to believe that it’s possible to see so much sexual content that it warps your sexuality, because he was gay and wanted to think that was due to thinking about gay sex too much. Jerry did not have a lot of evidence to prove that homosexuality was harmful, so he relied heavily on how “morally distasteful” it seemed to be to suburban Americans.
I spent the majority of my teen years arguing against Jerry’s rhetoric for the right to live as a lesbian online, and I never thought I’d see morality rhetoric in people I’m otherwise very politically aligned with. And I definitely never thought fandom of all things, in all its beautiful subversive glory, would seriously start advocating for censorship, anti-porn, and to consume fanwork with moral purity.
So, I’d like to have a deeper discussion on it, both here on Tumblr and on TikTok, but that does mean checking a few things at the door:
Personal feelings decide your personal life. What you feel is valid for you, not anyone else.
In general, things that do not cause direct and undeniable harm should not be broadly prohibited just because they’re weird or distasteful to the majority of folks. Ex. Loitering does not cause harm and is a tool of systemic oppression.
The discussion of “fictional CSEM” is the most inflammatory fork of this and it is often used to derail these kinds of conversations. This is all I will say on it - the legal status of explicit visual depictions of minors is muddy. In the US, there is just one dude in Utah who pled guilty for possessing explicit lolicon he bought by mail order without also possessing CSEM with real children, and explicit writing about fictional minors has been settled as protected free speech. Dedicated organizations from the NCMEC to Chris Hansen have asked that fictional content is not reported as CSAM as it is not actionable and clogs up finite resources. 90% of NCMEC reports were not actionable last year. There are studies suggesting that virtual CSEM or other non-victim alternatives could reduce actual child harm, but there is need for further research.
We’re all in agreement that untagged NSFW is not cool, and kids deserve kid-only sections of the internet. People who are triggered by or dislike problematic content deserve to be able to not see it. 👍
(I’ve seen the argument that blocking tags/people should not be required - sorry, PTSD still requires that you manage your triggers, up to and including swearing off platforms just as I have sworn off bars/soap brands/etc to avoid my triggers.)
I have found a lot of accessible and free articles and studies that I will link throughout so that we can discuss the fact-based reasoning, in an effort to have a civil conversation.
(Also because we are not flat earthers, we are Fandom, and if we’re going to be annoying little shitheels in an “Um Actually” contest, we’re going to have the sources to back it up.)
Minors and Explicit Material
I’m not supporting minors engaging with explicit material. I have such little interest in the subject that I’m not even going to bring in articles, but you can feel free to. I personally engaged with explicit material as a preteen of my own free will and did not find it to be harmful, and the majority of people throughout human history have been exposed to explicit material at an early age with varying degrees of harm. There are undeniable legal and harm-driven differences between a 12 year old girl looking at Hustler on her own, a 14 year old boy being sent nudes from a grown woman, and a 6 year old viewing PornHub. (And I think the guardians of that 6 year old should be charged with grooming just like the woman, tbh.)
Personal Disclaimer
I’m an adult survivor of CSA and incest. I’m a happily married adult. I don’t personally like lolicon/shotacon/kodocon. I don’t like kids. I don’t like teens. I’m personally not attracted to underage fictional characters. I have family, the idea of fucking any of them makes me want to throw up and die, so I don’t write or read RPF of my family.
I am really, really fucking intense about preventing sexual violence, supporting survivors, and fandom, which is where this all comes from.
I read and love problematic fiction - my favorites are ASOIAF, Lolita, and VC Andrews. The most “problematic” thing I’ve personally written are Lucifer/Michael fics from Supernatural back in 2012. They are “brothers” in CW Christ, not blood. They do not have any blood.
Gen Z and Online Grooming
In 2002, a survey of 1500 minors from 10-17 found that 4% had been solicited for sexual purposes by an adult online.
In 2023, that number increased to 20%.
While the linked 2023 Thorn report suggests that the vast majority of these inappropriate interactions happened on platforms that allow for interpersonal communication, which by and large minors were greatly discouraged from and had less access to in the early 2000’s, a trauma-informed approach does not allow for blame to fall on the children. The guardians of those children have monumentally failed to restrict and educate before giving children the means to access those platforms.
It is my uncited but personal opinion that the increased rate of grooming, as well as an increased interest in combating rape culture, has led to well-intentioned individuals to become digital vigilantes attacking those who they hold responsible for their traumatic experiences in a search for catharsis and justice denied for themselves as well as a desire to make the internet safer for other children, whom they are increasingly aware are entering online spaces unsupervised at distressingly young ages.
Is harassment and bullying bad for perpetrators of it?
Before we get into how ship-related hate campaigns do not affect predation or combat rape culture, we should acknowledge that it’s actually pretty harmful for the people who cyberbully. Not just in the legal/social consequences, but people who participate in cyberbullying and cyberhate campaigns have higher rates of depression, estrangement from their parents, self-effacing habits, social anxiety, lower empathy, and so forth.
One study suggests that the treatment and prohibitive for cyberbullying, which contributes to a culture of cyberhate and a lower likelihood to report or confront other incidents of harassment or toxicity online, can be combatted with media competency to increase empathy along with other important life skills.
Some Common Pro-Censorship Myths
“Pornography is Addictive/Consumption of Pornography Leads to Increasingly Hardcore Imagery And Ultimately Real-World Violence” - The American Psychological Association does not recognize Porn Addiction as real and the DSM-5 does not classify it as an addiction. Additionally, many methods used in articles claiming that porn is addictive or causes users to seek out more hardcore material were flawed or biased. There is actually some evidence that compulsive porn use, the closest you can get to a porn addiction diagnosis, is associated with shame and the user’s belief that pornography is morally wrong, which sex-negative attitudes encourage.
“Jaws caused shark culling” - That's unfortunately a simplification that ignores a LOT of surrounding context. WW2’s modern naval battles with an increase of ship sinkings and thus contact with sharks prompted the invention and use of shark repellant by aviators and sailors in the 1940’s. The most deadly and famous shark attack of all time was the USS Indianapolis sinking in 1945, which led to 12-150 deaths. The 1974 book Jaws by Peter Benchley, which was the entire basis of the movie, was inspired by One Fucking Dude who started shark hunting tours and overall seemed to have a really immaculate vibe. The interstate highways that finished in the 1950’s increased beach tourism in the 60’s and onwards, inspiring the American surf culture, further increasing the cultural desire to purge sharks for the new swath of beachgoers and their fondness for using surfboards which make them look like seals to sharks. Additionally, 1975’s Jaws inspired a huge desire for education about sharks, and the relationship between problematic media and education will be the core of this yapperoni pizza.
“The Slendermen Killings/Other Fiction Inspired Crimes” - The ACLU states that “There is no evidence that fiction has ever driven a sane person to violence.” Inspired crimes are indeed no less tragic, and thankfully rare, but people who suffer from inability to discern reality and fiction do not necessarily need fiction to commit violence. The “Son of Sam” murder spree was not inspired by a book or movie, but instead Berkowitz’ auditory hallucinations.
“Violent videogames DO cause violence” - After a great deal of funding and study, the American Psychological Association has concluded that teens and younger may have increased feelings of aggression and not necessarily physically violent outbursts as a direct effect, but older teens and young adults do not encounter statistically meaningful rates of aggression.
“Your brain can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality” - Factually incorrect. Children as young as 5 years old can tell the difference, and they can even be more suspicious about “facts” that come from sources they know also host fiction, such as TV shows.
“This stuff shouldn’t be online because it can be used to groom a child” - While I could not find specific statistics on how often pornography is used to desensitize child victims, nor how often that is specifically used in online grooming, and especially not how much of that pornography is made from fictional characters - out of a mixed group of convicted offenders with adult and child victims, 55% of offenders used pornography to manipulate their victim. I would never refute that explicit fanart or fanfic could be used to desensitize a child, but that is by far not the only tool (asking about sexual experiences/identity, making jokes, etc is extremely common grooming behavior), and there is no evidence to suggest that it is used to a statistically significant degree. In my own anecdotal experience, normal vanilla legal pornography is used with far greater prevalence, and there isn’t a similar movement to shame its production for that possibility. Nor should the creators of any material, pornographic or otherwise, share blame in the actions of a predator.
The Fiction Affects Reality Carrd
(No hate to the person who made it, in fact I give props to them for trying to find unbiased sources, I just want to point out that their interpretations of their articles are kinda flawed and one of their studies is a kind of a perfect example on small and culturally biased samples.)
Reading Fiction Impacts Aggressive Behavior - (I cannot access the full study but this article is the primary source used in the Carrd and it goes into detail) - A study showed that 67 university students were more annoyed with a loud buzzer after reading a short story about a physical fight between roommates compared to a story with nonviolent revenge. However, this study was conducted at Brigham Young University, the same campus where we got a whole video series of hot ethical takes like “I’d rather shoot a kitten than drink coffee,” so uh. Yeah. Kind of a prime example on why it’s important to have large and culturally varied sampling. (Another BYU study with 137 BYU students being odd about moral ambiguity in fiction, just because I’m starting to add Dr. Sarah M. Coyne to my list of “Sarah’s That I Dislike.”)
Your Brain on Fiction - a NYT article that describes Theory of the Mind and how fMRIs captured how readers’ minds would light up centers of muscle control when reading sentences like “Peter kicked.” The quote “The brain, it seems, does not make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life; in each case, the same neurological regions are stimulated” is speaking of motor functions. Emotional centers of the brain were not included in the study.
How Fiction Changes Your World - a Boston Globe article that actually describes how people who read more fiction are more empathetic and tend to believe in a just world. It does not state that the empathy a reader feels for fictional characters extends to corrupting their moral compass. In fact, there’s such a thing as a “fictive license” to explore taboo themes more thoroughly because it is not real - 123 participants were interviewed after watching two actors play the part of detective and murderer being interviewed, and participants who were told it was fake had more varied and inquisitive responses.
The Social Impact of Books - Actually reuses the previous study about the just world, so point remains. Empathy is understanding, not mirroring.
Is Problematic Fiction Good for Survivors of Trauma?
It absolutely depends on the individual.
Writing expressively about traumatic experiences has been shown to be effective to reduce depression, or more effective in reducing dysphoria and anxiety than talking to fellow survivors, and Written Exposure Therapy is broadly prescribed to survivors of trauma, with one study centering on car crash survivors finding that WET resolved their PTSD symptoms and continued to be effective after a year.
In this study, which sadly is not available online but it is too important to leave out completely, survivors of CSA were given fictional novels about CSA and in closely reading and analyzing those stories, were able to understand their own experiences and were indeed drawn to write about their own experiences as well.
Engaging in problematic fiction, like all fiction, allows for consent as well as control. If at any point a survivor does not feel in control or wishes to stop, they can at that instant. They can even rewrite their narratives and take control of their story in fictionalizing and changing the account. They can even try to understand what their abuser felt through fiction, which is helpful considering that the vast majority of survivors had a relationship that had been positive and even loving with their abusers at times.
Is Problematic Fiction Good for Everyone Else?
It again depends on the individual.
Antis might be a little right that most people don't want to read problematic stories. In a study exploring whether fiction can corrode morals, 83% of study participants stated that they would prefer not to read a short story justifying baby murder if they had the choice, even if that exploration isn’t inherently harmful.
This very small sample study of 13 participants discussed how young women interpreted sexual themes in writing, including explicit fanfiction, and how that was beneficial and informative to explore sexual desire and examine healthy and unhealthy relationships in a safe and controlled environment.
This meta-analysis further discusses how problematic and sexual themes in YA literature are useful to illustrate what sexual violence looks like, and begin educational conversations through those depictions to break down harmful myths such as “if she didn’t scream, she wanted it.”
Empowered by the “Fictive License” previously cited, problematic fiction can be beneficial for anyone who desires and is capable of consuming and analyzing it.
This study analyzing abusive aspects of three films - Beauty and the Beast, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Gray - concluded that these abusive themes should be discussed to increase recognition and awareness, not censored based on those problematic themes.
This study of 53 women were asked to read different versions of fictional intimate partner violence flags, or “toxic behavior” like surveillance, control, etc. In every version of the story, whether the female or male had those behaviors either courting or committed, the women recognized the behavior as wrong.
Another study that reading allows for the moral laboratory to explore morality in fiction without decisive impact to corroding moral permissibility.
Is There Ever Any Point Where Fictional Interests Definitively Speak On Someone’s Morality?
In short - not really. Loving Jason Vorhees does not put you at risk of murdering campers as long as you know he’s not real. Writing Wincest does not mean you look forward to family reunions, as long as you know incest isn’t okay in the real world. The real world, where real people are harmed, is where you find the measure of someone’s character.
This Psychology Today article is the best source I could find for quotes from a fantastic book ‘Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies’ by Brett Kahr regarding taboo sexual fantasies and how they are not only common, but not inherently harmful.
There are people who enjoy problematic media in an entirely nonsexual sense, of course. I myself don’t get off on problematic media - I think it’s just interesting to explore different experiences, and I think that can be revolutionary.
Additionally, fantasies in general have almost always been in the vein of “things you don’t want to really happen in reality.” In a study of 351 asexuals, more than half reported that they fantasize about having sex, but that doesn’t mean that they actually want to. You can fantasize about dating Billie Eilish - it doesn’t mean that you’d be happy dealing with celebrity culture.
(I personally fantasize about the internet being just for adults, but in practice I think that would be incredibly harmful and isolating for at-risk youth and LGBTQ teens) Fantasies always pluck out only the bits of reality that you want to engage with.
If You Get Off On Fictional Kids, You’re Attracted to Something About Them Being Kids
Not inherently, surprisingly. Wearing a schoolgirl uniform is a pretty common roleplay, and it’s not meant to “fool” the participants into thinking they’re indulging in pedophilia. There’s a wealth of emotional and sexual nuance in that specific kink - innocence and virginity play, tilted power dynamics in ‘scolding’ the uniform wearer for dress code violations, even the concept of a sexually provocative “teenager” can be played with without shame, because the world of fetish and fantasy is separated from condonable actions for the vast, vast majority of adults. (The only study I could find on this is this small study of 100 white guys found on Facebook, which itself states it is not definitive, found that while there might be correlation between attraction to children and interest in schoolgirl uniforms, there is no proof of causation. AKA, the rectangular pedophile might indeed like square schoolgirl uniforms, but not everyone - in fact, the majority at nearly 60% in this very survey - that likes square schoolgirl uniforms is a rectangular pedophile.)
Even sexual age play between adults is not indicative of pedophilia because it exists in a setting between two adults who fully understand that the mechanics are completely fake, allowing the power dynamics that would be abusive between an adult and child to be ethically explored.
I don’t have an official-looking study to cite, but I have asked people who like content about underage fictional characters why they do so. Overwhelmingly, a lot of the ones who like underage age gaps like the fantasy of an older and more experienced character taking a younger one under their wing, to have the opportunity to commit violent and blatantly objectifying harm and yet try to create what inevitably does not truly pass as consent, but seems near enough to the characters. Some think that the characters themselves have an interesting chemistry. Some read underage fic and still imagine the characters as adults. Some like to explore the feelings of shame that the older character must feel and how they mentally compartmentalize to go forward with the relationship, and how the younger character found themself in that vulnerable position - which is exploring a harmful situation through fiction to understand how it could play out in real life.
People who like fictional incest like exploring the shameful components of that taboo relationship - and I have seen a lot of works that compare how bad incest could be to other harms, like the Gravecest route in a game with parental cannibalism. And then there are folks who like analyzing the codependency of having one person fulfill every social need - family, friend, lover, AKA Wincest.
What makes a predator if it’s not just sexual attraction?
90% of CSA survivors know their abuser, discrediting the still-entirely-too-popular Stranger Danger myth. And shockingly, only 50% of abusers are pedophiles.
That means 50% of child molesters do not have sexual interest in children because they are children, but they victimized children because they are more accessible in lieu of adult partners, with increased rates of incest.
While I could not find a specific study on the relation between dehumanization/objectification of child victims and child molesters (and if you find one, please send it to me!), this study speaks on dehumanization as a precursor to adult sexual violence.
This study, conducted on convicted child molesters in prison, showed that child molesters tend to fantasize about children while in a negative mood, further contributing to the theory that child victims are dehumanized prior to abuse.
This very small sample study found that in a mixed sample of internet only/contact crime/mixed offenders, offenders who had contact with children had lower rates of fantasizing about children.
In short, half the time a child predator is someone who wants to offend against a child regardless of attraction to the fact they are a child.
Resources To Recognize Grooming/Abuse Victims/Predators
I would absolutely be remiss to not share my collection of resources to help detect signs of abuse/grooming as well as warning signs of a predator who may be targeting elders/women/teens/children:
Darkness 2 Light is a fantastic resource overall, this page details stages and signs of grooming.
RAINN personally helped me through my PTSD journey, and this article detailing the signs of sexual trauma in teenagers is thorough and non-judgemental
Signs of abuse as well as warning signs of predation that does not use gendered language nor play into the Stranger Danger myth.
Education, not Censorship
I think a lot of the energy against taboo content among young people still has a lot to do with the desire to end rape culture. The tools that we Millennial Tumblrinas gave you Gen Z kids were snatches of leftist theory, deplatforming, and voting with your dollar, so it’s reasonable to think that removing taboo content like pedophilia, incest, rape fights rape culture.
It doesn’t.
Rape culture is fought by education. Comprehensive sex education, education about consent. Talking about what consent looks like, what sex can look like, what rape can look like.
There should be more taboo content to talk about these things, to show all the shades it can look like. From a violent noncon to fics that aren’t even tagged as dubcon yet still are in shades that are hard to suss out, we should talk about it.
A Non-Empirical Example Of Good Media Analysis and Education to Combat Rape Culture
Let’s use the example of Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen’s relationship in House of the Dragon. Canonically, in both the book and the show, they have a romantic relationship that appears for the most part to be positive (the show being more contentious but I dedicated an aside to Sarah Hess and our beef at the bottom of my Carrd, but feel free to ask how I feel about writing producers with any variation of the name ‘Sarah’) despite an age gap, a sexual relationship that began while Rhaenyra was a minor, and incest - the problematic hat trick if you will.
I have seen anti-Daemyra shippers condemn Daemyra shippers for “Condoning grooming, age gaps, pedophilia, and incest.” Which is not just a broad, inaccurate, and harmful statement, it’s not at all constructive or educational analysis.
It would actually be beneficial to say “Daemon is grooming Rhaenyra as a teenager with gifts, devoted attention that takes advantage of her isolation and vulnerability, frequent nonsexual touches, the extreme desensitization to sexuality in the brothel visit,” etc etc. And even so, it is not useful to say that people cannot still ship the relationship and acknowledge those aspects. They might want to further explore the issues of consent in their dynamic in fiction, they may want to strip away some of them with narrative reimagining. Some might want to ignore the taboos completely and indulge in the fantasy entirely, and some might find the actors hot as hell - AKA, anyone who watches the show.
It’s honestly a little similar to me in how Jerry Falwell would tell his followers not to watch or read or take in any media that dealt with homosexuality unless it was condemning it - even Will & Grace was on Jerry’s shitlist. And so, Jerry’s followers missed out on a lot of media that could have educated them about queerness, could have humanized queer people for them - and that did not make queers go away. Just like ignoring or shutting out media about incest, rape, and other forms of sexual violence doesn’t make those things go away - it just tends to make you less informed, and little less capable of empathy towards people affected by those subjects.
So let’s stop shaming those that ship a complicated dynamic - you get less fanworks exploring those taboos, and less of a discussion overall. You shut down the morality lab of fiction, and to be honest, it’s wet sock behavior.
Some FanFiction Specific Studies
How dubcon fanfiction can flesh out the intricacies and messiness of realistic consent
A review of darkfic written about Harry Potter in 2005 (which, I will personally attest has never been outdone in how profoundly taboo those works were)
Interviews with 11 Self Insert writers who wrote on themes of rape, abuse, control, yandere, etc, and how that was beneficial to some who had experienced sexual violence themselves
Conclusion:
H…holy shit, you actually read all of that?? Congrats dude! That is a lot of time and brain power to dedicate to any one thing!
By the way, I am not really gifted at writing articles or any of that junk, and I tried to make my hyperlexic ass a little more accessible instead of bringing out all the $5 words. I am literally just an autistic who took a couple technical writing classes over a decade ago and really wanted to sort out my thoughts and try to have a platform for discussion. Also, I am really fucking bad at math. I failed two different college level statistics classes twice each. Gun to my head, I could not tell you what a standard deviation is, which is why I worked entirely with the percentages.
And I do want to have a discussion! I would in fact like to not report anyone for sending me gore or death threats or any of that stuff! I don’t think everyone will agree with me, in fact I’m certain that you could find studies that contradict some of mine, and I’d love to discuss them!
I’m sure it will still be tempting to throw around accusations of pedophilia because sometimes, confronting your previously held beliefs is incredibly uncomfortable. If you could not do that, that would be great? I don’t like being compared to someone who profoundly abused me just because I have a different opinion on how to combat rape culture and empower survivors. If you can do that, I’ll do my absolute best to be cheerful and welcoming and respectful as well. 😁
PS - I’m also not really going to be phased if you call me weird or cringe - I am. Always have been. Cringe, weirdness, and autism have made me do and capable of doing some fantastically neat and impressive stuff. But if you try to say something like “proshippers are too yucky and weird to be in fandom” - I’m going to have to refer you to your similarity to Kate Sanders of Lizzy McGuire fame, you “prEpz >:(“ - [My Immortal, legendary author unknown]
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what's this? treepy has dusted off her tumblr to post about her fic? indeed, because jargyle is suffering some serious bruce banner effect and i suspect the tumblr tag system might be more effective at circumventing that than the ao3 one. i know i’m struggling to find jargyle-centric stuff, so i figure other people might be as well.
anyway.
i've got a little jargyle series going on here. so far it's two fics (see below) and i’m definitely planning on at least two more, possibly more!
fic the first:
I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You
complete, 17k, rated t, no archive warnings
summary: So it turned out that Argyle owned land.
“How did I not know about this?” Jonathan sputtered, looking at the slightly tattered deed Argyle had dug out from the depths of his room. “This is like two hundred acres.”
“Two hundred and fourteen, my good dude.” Argyle was sitting upside down on the couch, feet dangling over the back, shoulder blades on the seat. His hair was draped over the carpet. “My abuelito would not appreciate the rounding down of his beloved property, may he rest in peace.”
The story of how Jonathan found a friend, a home, some peace, and love.
-
fic the second:
Find My Soul As I Go Home
complete, 17k, rated e, no archive warnings
summary: They were both sitting on their heels on Argyle’s bed (which had functionally become their bed of late), facing each other and wearing nothing but their boxers, and Jonathan wasn’t sure when he had last been so tense but it probably had had something to do with the Upside Down, which was a fucking kick in the pants if there ever was one.
OR
Five months of learning how to let go.
:)
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MULLET MULLET MULLET YES
philza being 100000 years old is something I can get behind tbh. my least favourite age hc, which I think I actually hate with a burning passion, is the tommy and tubbo were 9 during the first l’manberg wartime actually ignites a visceral rage in me
yeah!! I managed to make it to pink’s bedwars stream the other day and it was great. yeah lol I was lowkey upset too when foolish was added cause I had no idea who he was but he’s super fun so that’s cool! I like high energy stream more too cause I zone out super easily. unless it’s dream, he can stream anything and I’ll try my hardest to pay attention the whole time
ooooh vet that’s cool. oh my god c!dream going into the dentist after months in prison😭😭😭 I’m imagining c!techno as a beefy pig sitting in the kind of small couch/seats we have in the waiting room. Tommy would 100% bite and then get really mad about getting a toy that we give to little kids after their treatment lol
omg the pet wars 😔😔😔 so sad. everyone in the dsmp is emotionally attached to their animals than anything else and what can I say, I’m the same
oh yeah I also tend to take c!dream criticism to heart more idk why. I’m definitely way more defensive of c!dream apologists than any other they get so much unnecessary shit. though from your other anons it looks like c!sam apologists are getting more shit too which sucks but solidarity ig. oh man I get you I have to tell myself to like take a step back and not take everything so personally. another thing on twitter is that people who vehemently hate c!dream will sometimes just refuse to use /dsmp /roleplay tags like it’s not that hard, tweets without that have already been misinterpreted to hate on cc!dream which just pisses me off like you can have your shit opinion just tag it properly. and like when people tell them to include it they’ll be like “ohh the dream apologists harassed me.” and yeah people genuinely go around calling c!dream apologists abuse apologists and it’s terrible. like I don’t care if you have your bad takes and aren’t willing to discuss them, just tag it properly and don’t shit on c!dream apologists it’s not that hard. though it’s funny the other day, the first time I replied to some shut take on twitter, in a lighthearted manner too, I got instantly blocked and there’s this on person on twt, they’re also on tumblr, that blocks anyone that even slightly disagrees with them. oh well ig
also did you see about that lore that foolish did? it was certainly something
sorry for the late and shorter reply I got halfway through writing this then went to do something then just fell asleep and I just got a notification that ponk is live! and I’m awake so Imma go watch them
Jack Mulletfold I’m on my jack manifold mullet truther arc
The 9 year old thing was bad and I also hated the c!dream was 13 during the l’manburg war thing too like no this is all so much funnier if they are the ages that they are now. And like father like son fundy tried to set a timeline up too (his it’s been a year comment) like no dude stop time doesn’t exist unless it’s real world
With watching streams I’m the exact same way but I usually tune into quackity and tommy’s chill streams as well. I think it’s because I know them enough to care about what they’re saying so the lack of mental stimulation is made up for by my want to care
Wait fuck with the dentist thing would c!techno actually have to go to a vet instead because of anatomy stuff or-
C!Dream is probably missing a few teeth and after not brushing so long ugh
I would joke that c!sapnap’s done nothing wrong but I haven’t forgiven him for henry
I simply don’t user twitter I tried to post a shit post but I don’t understand the tagging system so it flopped. Stopped using it there and then. say what you want about me but you guys gotta know that I’m a petty bitch first and foremost. With the “harassment” stuff I’ve had my fair share of sending anons asking people to tag stuff right and half the time they just say why and then don’t do it. You wanna know why? Please thats why. I have a real issue with the abuse apologist stuff because like bro that’s a serious accusation and it’s overall just seems super inappropriate. It usually doesn’t get to me but if I’m in the wrong mood it can really fuck me up. When cc!wilbur said that every character was morally gray and that c!dream apologists were right & wrong about somethings I was kinda like “oh thank god a streamer I like doesn’t hate me for liking c!dream” and was hella embarrassed that I even let it get me that far skdhfk. Oh yeah about people blocking you there are so many people who have me blocked on here and while I totally encourage using your block button liberally and often I still notice and its like aw man… creeper…… so we back in the mines…….
You’re gonna have to be a little more specific I feel lije foolish has done a lot of lore, though I think I’ve missed most of it. Are you talking about truing to break into the prison? Hilarious that every character despite their opinion on c!dream has at one point attempted to break into the prison. If only c!dream knew that the only common enemy the server needed was a building they were supposed to stay out of
dont say sorry that’s illegal (/j) also the thing I like about anon is that you can come back and respond when ever is best for you? Makes me feel like an old western bar tender who is just vibing. That’s the dream social interaction tbh
#anon#ask#long post#ponk tired from the first vaccine#phizer buddies though#also how they promounced ohio is a+ I think we should all pronounce it that way from now on
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@brownskinsugarplum76 you didn’t skip a beat with this one ma’am!
Nicknames: Lay-Lay / Lay (can replace y with an i for both)
Name: Hallai (pronounced “Ha-lay-ya”)
Zodiac: Libra (ion remember all that extra moon solar system hi-low stuff)
Favorite Artist(s): [Rock/Oldie Goldies related since this blog is mainly for that] Led Zeppelin (obviously), The Police, Rush, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Beatles, Talking Heads, The B-52′s & R.E.M (ATHENS GANG GANG!!!), The Clash, Joni Mitchell, Jethro Tull, Steely Dan, Yes, The Who, Kajagoogoo, Prince, Gorillaz, Culture Club, Billie Holiday, Hall & Oates, Fleetwood Mac, James Brown, Os Mutantes, Spirit, Funkadelic, Chicago, Queen, The Rolling Stones, The Mamas & The Papas, Strawberry Alarm Clock, The Association, The Band, Ohio Players, Gary Puckett & The Union Gap, Love, CAN, Jim Croce, The Yardbirds, The Specials, Electric Light Orchestra, Janis Joplin, The Amazing Blondel, Frank Zappa, Sam Cooke, Living Colour, System of a Down, Duran Duran, Oingo Boingo, The Mills Brothers, Dionne Warwick, New York Dolls (I would put more but this is way more than there should be lmao)
Favorite Sports Team: Bold of you to assume I watch SpOrTs ....I meaannn besides UFC & Figure skating ion really be in the cut like that my dudes, and like Plum I suppose I rep the Georgia Bulldogs....to an extent....only because I’m not too far from UGA
Other Blogs:
@pinktiger501 (My VERRRYYY first blog that I opened when I was 14...you can literally see my gradual phases of fandoms I’ve been in change by the year)
@aceblankthoughts (I think I made this sideblog when I was 16? It was supposed to be an aesthetic/minimalist blog but I failed and it turned out just as chaotic as my first one)
@melanated-writersblock (I made this just last year! May second favorite blog I’ve made after this one. My Korean music sideblog where I ALSO write fics for artists as well)
Do I get Asks?: Surprisingly yes! It makes my heart happy
Blogs I follow: In total I follow 1,309 folks on here
Tumblr Crushes: I have none
Lucky Number: 1,999
Wearing: (Right Now) my blue MTV shirt and black shorts, (In the next hour) my dark plaid trousers with my black Led Zeppelin tee over a white turtleneck and my platform black velvet doc martens (today is my first day back at uni for the Spring semester so I gotta make a good impression)
Dream Vacation: Staying at a nice house in Italy with a decent amount of land and probably a vineyard for a summer. Or a trip to Seoul with a few of my homegirls (we’ve been talking about this since my sophomore year of highschool, it’s gonna fucking happen before I turn 30). Springtime in France, I wake up and walk to the balcony of a cozy penthouse studio apartment with a vintage feel while listening to a Billie Holiday record while I read a nice book and eat my morning breakfast after a night of getting my back blown out by Timothee Chalamet.................................yeah probably too specific-
Dream: To be a world renowned film and tv show producer/actress/director/writer/singer/etc. and whenever I’m not working on big film or tv projects I’d like to be a film professor at a big university or at least do guess speaker lectures about film and tv at ivy league universities on my down time. (whew! the ambition.....THE FLAVOR!!!)
Dream Car: A 1974 Cadillac Eldorado, Toyota Sequoia (I have a 2003 model but a newer version would slap), and a Murcielago Lamborghini
Favorite Food: Cuban food & Bahamian food. Period.
Drink of choice: Cuba Libre, Sangria, Sky Juice, Goombay Smash & garapiña
Instruments: My voice is my number one instrument I basically hopped out the womb singing. I played trumpet...middle school through highschool...7 years of my life wasted on an instrument that I felt no connection with (and I STILL can’t fucking read notes!!!). Love the piano but can’t play for shit. And I wanna play the guitar so bad but I haven’t started yet and I’m already 20 and I feel like it’s too late but oh well I’m still gonna try.
Languages: Spanish (thanks to my Cuban dad...my phrasing and accent is impeccable but I’m not fluent and I’m fucking failing my ancestors), I use a lot of Bahamian slang because of my mom and I sometimes confuse my friends (it’s not my fault they don’t know wtf a boongie is), and Korean (started teaching myself when I was 15, I can read and spell out hangul but I haven’t practiced in a while...if I keep it up for a year or so I could be fluent....which is a shame.....I should’ve been fluent in Spanish instead........)
Celebrity Crushes: (Sheeesh...we’d be here all day) okay so......Sting, Robert Plant, Roger Daltrey, Anthony Kiedis, Duff McKagan, Eddie Vedder, Josh Kiszka, John Boyega, Trevante Rhodes, Timothee Chalamet, Dacre Montgomery, Florian Munteanu, Seulgi, Jeongyeon, SZA, Indya Moore (aaaand we’ll call it a day for now)
Random Fact: I marathoned both Magic Mike movies the day I turned 18, and I used to scam men on BBW dating sites and made $379 by the end of it.
Tagging: Umm......lemme tag @fan-with-issues @duffshairdye @slashscowboyboots @hallyudoinchica @rogers-wateringcan @ilovetomkeiferslips @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx and anyone else that would like to do it!
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i had a moment today where i realized that i’ve essentially failed as a moderator for the hub blog i run for the roanoke society.
it wasn’t like... anything like an anxiety attack (although those have been pretty bad lately; this came to me during a relatively peaceful period when my feelings weren’t super erratic). it was just sort of an “oh. i see. well then.”
the canon has rather outstripped me. our cast list is massive. there are worlds within worlds within worlds and... just one me.
just one me, who is very particular about the tagging system and therefore will probably not bring on another moderator.
just one me, who doesn’t really participate a lot in the rp aspect of the community because i just do not have time--but then, every once in a while, it feels like i’m watching the world move on without me, as if through a glass pane. there’s jealousy there, sometimes. it’s not very becoming. i know.
just one me who wants to finish her projects (like homecoming which is now several months past when i thought it would be finished), has ideas for more, has asks to answer, and furthermore is working on her own independent novel outside of all of this--but just fucking doesn’t? for some reason?? is it laziness? is it some kind of executive dysfunction? we just don’t fucking know my dudes!
now, i’m not leaving. i’m not abandoning anything, i’m not bouncing. i just--needed to get this out. and the fact that this is under a cut and just tagged ‘personal,’ idk who all is going to be reading this. but i want it on record that i recognized this. i owned up to it.
and yeah, it’s just the internet, it’s all fiction, none of it’s real, none of it matters, there’s a tooooon of arguments you can make.
but i’ve never been a part of something like this before.
the house we’ve built is unique. it’s a bit of a different animal than some of the other lovely rp communities on tumblr.
and i was--am--proud of it. it’s something in my life that i actively give a shit about because i’m proud of it.
so.
this is where we are now.
... okay. i feel a bit better.
look all i’m saying is if a ship has a large enough crew do they even still need the captain
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Title: shimmer in your shine - Chapter 13: “a little bit closer”
Progress: 13/? Pairing: Leopika, Killugon Rating: Teen (subject to change) Warnings: veiled discussions of abusive households and the traumatic deaths of families, all canon-typical.
Author’s Note: skids in half a month late, sup dudes. ♥ So I love you all, and thanks to you, we’ve gotten to 500 kudos on this fic!! I am beyond honored, and I thank you all so much. Look for the next chapter towards the end of November <3
Also, please, save a life, reblog a fic. Tumblr’s tagging system is still shit, so if you like the fic, consider reblogging it to show it to your friends and followers too.
Summary: A roadtrip at the end of his senior year of college might have been kind of a last minute decision, but Leorio isn’t about to let himself, or any of the others regret it. Assuming, anyway, that they don’t kill each other in the first couple of days, that is.
Part Summary: The Denny’s is quiet and low-lighted only in comparison to how bright it is outside. Immediately inside, Gon casts about, physically craning from side to side, his eyes darting here and there as he searches for Killua’s familiar cloud of white hair. Leorio scuttles fully in to pull him back, because the hapless server who has no idea what she’s getting into is just side-eyeing the fuck out of them.
Way to make a first impression, honestly.
Also also! If you liked this, please consider donating to my ko-fi! I appreciate the support more than I can say <3 <3
#leopika#killugon#hxh#hxh fanfiction#a wild zene uses write#siys#siysfic#i still love everyone in this bar#we made it kids#to 500 anyway don't get too excited#also#i'm sorry#not really but#the sentiment is there somewhere behind the evil cackling
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Things I Have Been Reading- July
Hello my lovely tumblr people, how has your day been? I hope it’s been good. Right, now, this months list isn’t as long as usual as I’ve been very busy and hardly read anything BUT I am hoping to make up for that next month so please send me any fics you think I might like.
For more fic recs feel free to follow my @girl-next-door-recommends which is a blog I set up fairly recently to keep track of all the great stuff I have been reading. I also have a tagging system to make it easy to find your fandom amongst the many or you can search for a certain character if that is your thing.
So, here is some things I have been reading that I thought you might like too.
Supernatural:
Magic Dean - @kittenofdoomage has blessed us, truly blessed us, with this amazing incredibly smutty piece of Dean fucking Winchester. Definitely one for the 18+ and DAMN don’t read it in public because you will need to go lay down for a bit or do the ice bucket challenge or something. *furiously fans face*
Ready Steady - @dont-hate-relate-pls So as some of you may know I’ve been in a bit of a ROB crisis of late (it will help with a certain piece I’m working on but that’s beside the point) so ANYWAY, I came across this Chuck fic and instantly fell in love with it. It broke my heart but in a really good way and I love the song it’s based on so go read the awesome fic!
Here again - @sdavid09 You know my list wouldn’t be complete without my favourite angel making an appearance and this is one I read a while back and recently rediscovered and I swear it ripped my heart out all over again. So many Gabe feels right here so you have been warned!
Marvel:
Can’t Stop This Feeling - @t-adash-i Peter Maximoff is actually super cute and sweet. I think this awesome little fic might just have opened another trash can for me to fall into.
Married with Benefits - @bovaria A story where you are fake married to Steve you say? Don’t mind if I do. One of my favourite writers writing one of my favourite characters in one of my favourite AU’s. GO. Read ALL the parts now!!
Assistant to the Captain - @marvelouswritings YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! And with this series and it’s incredibly slow burn you are forgiven for the angry pile of angst I am after reading Table for Three.
Control - @theheadcanonsawakens I do like a bit of Pietro and wiping the cock smug smirk off his face so this fic is right up my street. Cute and funny, just a brilliant story you should go check out.
The One With The STD - @redlipstickandplaid Dude. Seriously dude! Fuck Bucky and Fuck Nat! Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh. This is so fabulously written that I am really really fucking angry at fictional characters right now so well done.
Table for Three - @marvelouswritings What was that? Oh, never mind that was just the sound of my heart breaking into a billion pieces. I swear to god I have never hated Bucky more than I do reading this series. Right now I am soooooo Team Sam or even Team Steve.
Love Me Honestly - @brighterlights The sequel to one of my all time favourite series and it does not disappoint! The adventures of reader and Bucky continue and it is super sweet and cute and lovely.
Liar - @iwillbeinmynest There are times when I just want to wrap Tony Stark up in a fluffy blanket and cuddle him like a human burrito until everything is better and this fic plays to that side of me perfectly. Sleep deprived, working himself too hard to save everyone Tony is a weakness of mine and this fic hit me right where I knew it would and now I want to go write more Tony myself.
Star Trek:
Darlin’ - @musingsongbird McCoy is one sexy bastard and I TOTALLY get this kink. Beautifully crafted smut here for over 18′s enjoyment. Definitely a fun one to wake up to.
Frustrated - @kaitymccoy123 Scotty SMUT!!! (please consider that a warning, no under 18′s please) This is the writers first time writing smut and it is far better than I can ever write! This piece is worth the cold shower.
What I Never Knew I Always Wanted - @pinkamour1588 I love Scotty and I love fluff so imagine how amazingly ecstatic I was to stumble across this beautifully written little piece! This wonderful writer deserves a follow so go read this and then lurk in her blog just like I am doing wahahaha.
Other Fandoms and Fics:
Like A Wildflower - @team-durin Oh please please feel free to tag me in any and all fics about my favourite dwarf! A little Fili is always appreciated and jealous Fili is even more super yummy plus you get Kili being an adorable shit too! Fantastic.
Home Before Midnight - @another-tmnt-writer So this is possibly one of the cutest things I have ever read! Donatello as Cinderella is just...*sigh*. I wish I had some requests for this amazing writer but until I do I will just scroll through a wonderful blog with fabulous writing.
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( ✖, ✉, ☢, ☀ o: )
Quin’s a Salty Mun || @blastedroads || 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰
✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?
// its change a LOT since I started way back when. I think I picked up my first muse early May 2013. Container themes weren’t a thing. In fact custom themes were pretty basic. You had a fuck ton of links on blogs and tagging systems really didn’t exist maybe basic ones line your partner’s name, thread title, maybe headcanons or things we really liked and wanted to save, and then just like random convos in tags. We didn’t have fancy font types or icons\gifs to use during replies. When asks first became rebloggable we did reblog them to continue rps.
I know people say that RPers were less drama filled but I think the opposite is true. Granted the fandom I started in was super drama-filled. I think people are more chill now mostly and more accepting? But that could just be that I don’t have time for the bullshit and honestly don’t care? idk.
Things have changed yeah, some for the better some for the worst but that’s just life and what happens!
✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?
// Honestly I think the most open and accepting fandom I’ve ever been a part of was the Miraculous Ladybug fandom. Like no one cared that there were 300 Marinettes or 350 Chat Noirs (obviously an exaggeration) we always welcomed more. And it was great? And even with all those folks there was like minimal drama? And I do miss all my friends over there. I know with the long-ass hiatus between one and two a lot of us lost our muses. Maybe with season 2 coming this fall that’ll change because honestly I met a lot of really good people over there, and a good group of them i still follow over here. and i will always
☢ What fads/trends are you so over?
// Answered. There’s not too many trends that bother me other than the two that I’ve really already mentioned.
☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?
// oh goodie more! lmao. let’s see another pet peeve of mine?
people who are pushy for replies. and i don’t mean the occasional ‘hey did you see this’ or ‘did you get this ask’? because dude i get it. tumblr fucks up a lot. but i know i have very limited free time, usually only having some time late at night or on the weekends. replies from me can take a while. sometimes not if Tamora and I are really feeling a thread but usually. yeah.
i cannot stand when people get pushy and that quickly leads to dropping any and all threads with said person
#blastedroads#// munday#✬;;qᵘⁱⁿ ˢᵖᵉᵃᵏˢ ( ooc )#// phew that was a lot of salt!#✬;;ᔆᵗᵃᵗᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴮᵘˢⁱⁿᵉˢˢ ( ask )
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Star Wars, the trilogy of ur choice for the ask meme!
I am indecisive as Hell and couldn’t pick and as such just did all three of them, ooops?
original trilogy
my all-time ultimate fave character: um. I have loved Darth Vader since I was five and decided that he was my husband now and this meant that he was going to hold my stuff while I ran the galaxy and also buy me a puppy, because my parents wouldn’t let me have one but he’s the head of an evil empire, so I assumed that he had enough credits to buy me a puppy. Anyway, my answer hasn’t changed. He’s garbage and I love him.
a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Lando is a sort of complicated answer, because it was never that I disliked him?
But when I was younger, I bought into all of the nonsense about him, “betraying” Han, Leia, and Chewie (which is ridiculous, because: 1. he was trying to save his entire city,
and 2. Vader turned the tables on Lando and sprung a bunch of shit on him that Lando cannot be held responsible for, because Vader is the one who made it an issue and it’s not like Lando didn’t read the fine print because there was no fine print for him to read)
—and yeah, basically, I never disliked him, but have come to appreciate Lando more.
a character I used to like but now don’t: …well, it isn’t that I dislike Yoda or Obi-Wan (though the latter benefits from the prequel trilogy a lot here, since Ewan McGregor kinda saved the character from the gigantic dumpster fire of GLucas’s bullshit retcons and Alec Guinness being a huge tool), but when I was a kid, I took everything they said at face-value and have since learned that both of them are totally bullshit unreliable narrators, at best.
a character I’m indifferent about: idk, the Emperor, probably. Like, my biggest feelings about him in the OT are, “Excuse me, you’re in my seat. Trophy husband, please be a hunny and murder him for me so I can get back to my ridiculous power-fantasy daydream of being an overpowered evil overlord with no chill and an OTT evil laugh like a bad girl in a late 90’s anime.”
a character who deserved better: Lando Calrissian, full stop.
a ship I’ve never been able to get into: uh. ……pass?
a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Han/Leia remains one of the only m/f ships worth caring about, for me, but ijs, Han/Luke is good, too.
a cute, low-key ship: Luke/Wedge, Luke/Lando, or Luke/Biggs.
an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: Han/Lando (it’s not unpopular in my particular corner of tumblr but for most people out there, it’s Not A Thing that they can see happening). ……but come on, they act like exes! If they aren’t secretly married (probably under questionable circumstances, for pretty ridiculous reasons) in at least two star systems, I’ll shave Jean-Ralphio’s head.
a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: —technically, my answer never did. But when ROTS came out back in 2005, there was a commemorative issue of Rolling Stone that I stole from my Dad because it had a special feature about Darth Vader, and in it, Kevin Smith proposed the idea of Vader/Leia (which he apparently kiddie LARPed with a girl he liked before they knew that Vader is her bio-father), and…… ew, Kevin Smith, what the fuck. Like, even without the parental incest factor, ewww.
my favourite storyline/moment: if it happened in Empire, I will probably never be over it because I am a human cliche and Empire is my favorite (but in my defense: it was not written by George Lucas, and that has a lot to do with why it is noticeably better-written than the other two OT movies). If I had to choose? “I love you” / “I know,” or the final confrontation between Luke and Vader.
Because I am a human cliche, that’s why. …Also, fun fact: when they originally shot the Infamous Scene, the big reveal about Luke’s parentage was kept so under-wraps that even David Prowse (the guy who physically portrayed Vader) thought that the twist was that Obi-Wan killed Anakin.
a storyline that never should have been written: Okay, it isn’t that I object to how the parentage twist meant that GLucas had baited sibling incest with Luke/Leia. What I object to is that GLucas acts like this was intentional, and wants to erase and retcon real-world history (there’s a whole book about it, documenting what actually happened and how GLucas tried to retcon reality), all to make himself look like a genius Auteur™ when, actually he is a fucking hack who stole the credit for the movies’ success from the actual creative people involved.
my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i want a lightsaber, i want to rule the galaxy, pew pew”
my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i shouldn’t be allowed to have a lightsaber at all bc i would totally mishandle it, fuck george lucas with barbed wire, pew pew”
prequel trilogy
my all-time ultimate fave character: *points above* …like, I have never had it in me to hate the prequel trilogy — the closest that I got to it was, “Okay, it’s not the OT, and it’s kind of silly, but it’s not bad” — and I could never hate it because it’s primarily about Anakin Skywalker, and that’s my trophy husband. He’s space trash and I love him.
I also never hated Hayden Christensen. Like, most of my friends in high school did, but I loved him, and I said things like, “Maybe he’s not the greatest actor but he’s not exactly working with a great script here” but that was the worst he ever got from me (and if I’d known then just how shitty a director GLucas actually is to the actors in his flicks, I would’ve been even more generous).
He was definitely one of the guys who I “had crushes” on, back when I was still trying to convince myself that I wasn’t into girls at all, and all of the lingering fondness for him was a huge part of my, “okay, but were any of my crushes on dudes legit or was there a lot of compulsory heterosexuality that I didn’t get because I was a teenager with homophobic parents who went to a high school where we couldn’t even talk about the homophobia that went on because everybody wanted to think that we didn’t have a problem with it just because nobody got, like, physically assaulted or anything that we assumed happened at other high schools in the area, regardless of how we had almost no evidence one way or the other”
……In retrospect, a lot of the, “crush” that I had on Hayden was that he was a soft-featured pretty boy who was, “like… almost pretty enough to be a girl” (—all I have to say for myself is that I was an ignorant teenager), and I found him attractive because he was: 1. soft and pretty; 2. playing my favorite space trashcan; and 3. hella famous and therefore unavailable
anyway, I love Anakin and…… well.
a character I didn’t used to like but now do: …uh. I have no idea?? The closest I get here is that I went from not caring about Palpatine in the OT to thinking he’s actually an interesting and well-done villain in the PT.
a character I used to like but now don’t: can I pass on this one, too? I don’t have a lot of characters like this in any of the Star Wars movies tbh???
a character I’m indifferent about: Count Dooku (the late Christopher Lee was always amazing but Count Dooku just… really doesn’t interest me as a character), and General Grievous.
a character who deserved better: Padmé Amidala, Mace Windu, and I want to say Anakin, but not in the same way as Mace and Pamdé (who got the shit kicked out of them unfairly and got robbed of some of the moments that they deserved).
Where Anakin deserved better is in how the narrative handled his fall and the issues of agency, responsibility, how he was manipulated and how it affected his ability to be held responsible vs. all of the ways in which he was responsible for his actions and where, how spending his formative years as a slave affected everything, the ways in which the fucking Jedi Order was also culpable for some of this and how their approach to literally everything is emotionally unhealthy, and so on.
Because GLucas handled all of those issues with the grace and tact of a drunk rhinoceros. Which I feel is an incredible insult to both alcohol and rhinoceroses.
a ship I’ve never been able to get into: any Qui-Gon ship that isn’t Mace/Qui-Gon, and I will fully admit that that is just my headcanon and my feels of, “Oooh, that could be cool.”
a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé because I am a human cliché.
a cute, low-key ship: Obi-Wan/Dexx (or however you spell the name of his smuggler friend from AOTC).
an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: well, these days, Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé are apparently on the Shipae Non Gratae list in this fandom, to the point that people who ship them will get harassed, dehumanized, bullied, and suicide-baited for shipping them, all because a small but vocal contingent of assholes don’t like them and want to enforce their own ideas about the morality or lack thereof of whatever ships they like or not on everyone — but they weren’t unpopular until very recently, so
otherwise, basically all Mace Windu ships are unpopular by default but come on, Mace/Qui-Gon and Mace/Obi-Wan would be cool
a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: uh. Padmé/death, Mace/death, and Star Wars Fandom/suicide baiting people over ships when they’re doing everything that they can reasonably be expected to do in terms of tagging responsibly and respecting their fellow fans.
my favourite storyline/moment: I’m sorry but actually not, but… I love ROTS, and I love the game of torturing myself by watching it like, “Maybe Anakin won’t make all the wrong choices this time. Maybe if I lovingly yell at him loudly enough, he won’t break my heart.”
Also, fuck everyone, his, “I don’t like sand” thing is endearingly doofy, and I can’t flirt any better than that so it is not unrealistic (not least since he hasn’t exactly grown up or come of age in an environment that’s conducive to developing decent social skills or learning the social scripts that one uses when doing things like flirting without saying, “I don’t like sand, but you are very not like sand, and I appreciate that you are dissimilar from sand because sand sucks”)
—I mean, I’m not saying that Luke Skywalker: actual gay space autistic has a father who is also an actual space autistic? ……But, see, I’m totally saying that, and that I also believe the borderline!Anakin headcanon that I’ve seen around
a storyline that never should have been written: idk, I just want my space babies to be happy
my first thoughts on it: “…pew pew pew, i know it’s not the OT but it’s still fun can everybody like stop hating on it, wouldn’t it be more fun to LIKE things, i love star wars, pew pew”
my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, fuck everybody, the entire prequel trilogy deserves better than it got and fuck george lucas especially, but also fuck the jedi order what the fuck, that life isn’t healthy, fuck the haters i love the prequels, i love star wars, pew pew”
new trilogy, inasmuch as i can say with only one movie (since rogue one isn’t in the trilogy and i still haven’t seen it):
my all-time ultimate fave character: Finn or Poe or Rey, it depends on how I feel at any given moment
a character I didn’t used to like but now do: *shrugs*
a character I used to like but now don’t: Well, it’s not that I outright dislike KyBen, but I was so excited for him when the first trailer came out, with his lightsaber that looked so cool, and him being all, “*aggressively fanboys Darth Vader*” — and then we got the actual canon, and like? It’s impossible for me to completely hate him when he’s so fun to make fun of, and he loves his grandfather almost half as much as I do? But…… wow, have you ever met someone who is like a letdown in human form? Because I have and his name is Kylo Ren.
I will say, he is moderately less of a letdown in the novelization of the movie (though I haven’t gotten a copy of the YA novelization and there are apparently some major differences between that one and the “adult” novelization), but: 1. only moderately; and 2. he is even more over-the-top ridiculous and dramatic and kind of asinine in the book. Less of a letdown for various reasons, but still.
a character I’m indifferent about: Phasma, I guess. Like, I am certified lady villains garbage, but she doesn’t really DO anything? She has no discernible personality beyond being the token girl with KyBen and the Annoying Fascist Space Ginger, which could actually be a cool thing — I mean, Gwen Christie is a tall, white, blonde, and physically intimidating as fuck, and it would be super interesting to use Phasma as a Star Wars style reflection of the white women who get involved in the real world movements that inspired the First Order — but?? So far, all she’s done is be an abusive shit to Finn and get shoved in a trash compactor.
a character who deserved better: #Protect Finn Stormbreaker At All Costs.
a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Phasma/anybody — like, I know it’s usually misogynistic to say, “she has no personality” about a lady character…… but Phasma genuinely has no personality, so far, because she has done a grand total of bugger all in actual facts canon.
a ship I’ve never been able to get over: …I feel like it’s too early to say this because this trilogy isn’t even fully out there, yet? But solely in the sense of, “this is my favorite”… Finn/Poe/Rey, because it means that I don’t have to choose between Finn/Poe or Finn/Rey when both of them are so good.
a cute, low-key ship: I am literally only putting Rey/Rose and Rey/Jessika here because we know nothing about Rose yet, aside from how she works in maintenance with the Resistance and is adorable, and I love Rey/Jess, but it’s objective fact that Finn/Rey has more to work with, because Finn is a major character and Jess isn’t.
an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: eta: okay, I forgot to do this one, because all I could think of was, “idk I’ve read some Ky*lux fic that didn’t suck because I wanted one of my kinks satisfied and I wanted Star Wars and the only game in town was Ky*lux so I read it, and… eh, it didn’t suck?” — but Ky*lux is objectively not unpopular (it’s unwelcome among some fans and that’s their prerogative but the numbers don’t lie and they say that it’s not unpopular), so idk
Also, the nicest thing I could say is, “those fics didn’t suck” but in fairness that’s probably less a function of them being Ky*lux and more a function of how they’re for one of my kinks, and the writing that exists for said kink is largely pretty…… Not Good.
a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I’m waiting for the reveal that Rey and Kylo are cousins or something, because I’m expecting it to happen, and then a lot of the people who ship it, “because Kylo is totally better than Finn because of reasons that have nothing to do with racism because the shippers said so” will jump ship and I will go, “I told you so, did you not pay attention to Luke and Leia or what.”
Note: I am specifically only talking about that particular kind of Rey*lo shipper, because in fairness, there are plenty of people who ship it in ways where they don’t actually want Rey and Kylo to be together, and in ways where they don’t bash Finn, and yes, it’s a pretty fucked up ship, but there are people who ship it in fucked up ways and tag all their shit responsibly, and I will have nothing to, “I told you so” about at them, in the event that Rey*lo gets jossed by them being blood relatives.
my favourite storyline/moment: the one where KyBen is all, “*ACCIO GRANDPA’S LIGHTSABER*” and Finn is all, “NOT TODAY JACKASS” and then Kylo tries it again and the lightsaber is all, “NO I LIKE REY BETTER” and the theme music swells and FUCK IT YESSSSS
a storyline that never should have been written: … *shrugs*? the trilogy is still being played out, we don’t have a lot to work with here yet
my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i love the theories that kylo ren is actually jacen solo, zoom zoom fights in space and flying in space, whoosh whoosh shiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises, i love star wars, pew pew”
my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, lmao i am so glad that kylo ren is not jacen solo, jacen sweetie i am so sorry that i ever wanted that you deserve so much better, finn and rey and poe and rose and jess should all be happy and like adopt a puppy, also luke is gay now because fuck george lucas, i am so proud of my gay autistic space son and how he now wants the jedi to end because he has realized that the only way for the force to have balance is if there are NO jedi and NO sith, whoosh whoosh shhhhiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises
“like seriously how has it taken this long for this idea to make it to the main canon (since lbr most people don’t know jack about the EU or KOTOR or anything), i mean wow it is almost like the jedi and the sith are both totally fucked up beyond all hopes of salvaging either faction not least because having either faction in the first place makes humans more likely to fuck up everything with the force because people suck, WHOOSH WHOOSH SHIIIIINNNNNNNG MAKES SAID LIGHTSABER NOISES EVEN MORE LOUDLY TO PISS OFF GEORGE LUCAS AND HE CAN’T DO SHIT TO STOP ME BECAUSE HE DOESN’T OWN THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE HA HA FUCKEDDY HA HA HA, #KreiaWasRight #TotallyVindicated, i can’t believe that rey and luke are going to be queer autistic space icons together #blessed
“i love star wars, pew pew pew”
#sikenesque#memes for ts#mine: asks#ask box tag#opinions for ts#star wars#longish post//#mine: star wars
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