#madam fluffy beans

[catfindr]

[lord-amaranth-12]

(Almost) every food/drink etc. mentioned in obey me nightbringer and shall we date

Notes:

I'll update with links to the sources soon just bare with me. Also please tell if the link arent working

Update: ill stop linking stuff for now

Update: i alphabetized everything (using https://onlinetoolz.net/alphabetical-order) and removed the ingredients for potions cause i will be moving it to another list. I also edited the layout abit to make it more readable

Update: ill start linking stuff now, have to get all out of my storage and posted here before i get full storage again

A

• Abyss crimson bee honey

• Abyss crimson wasp honey

• Alla death cream

• Artic butterfly scales

• Ash fall chocolate brownies

• Assam

B

• Backstabbing sandwich

• Barely cooked black tapir steak

• Bat leaves

• Bavarian cream

• Bell peppers

• Black cloud chocolate gâteau

• Black coffee of melancholy

• Black shark flavored gummies

• Black tapir casserole

• Bloody marmalade

• Bloody rice omelets

• Bloody soda

• blood-red velvet cupcakes

• BLT devil sandwich

• Blue rose crystal pickles

• Blue rose petals candied in crystal syrup

• Bufo egg milk tea

• Bufo egg milk tea hell poison honey flavored

• Bufo toad

• Bufo toad sushi

• Bulbul bird eggs

• Butter pancakes

C

• Castella

• Cat cookies

• Colossal jumbo surprise parfait

• Comfort candy

• Crazy ghoul hamburger

• Crimson bonito flake

• Crimson bonito flake dressing

• Crimson dogwood

• Crimson tea

• Crispy chicken nugget LXXXIII

• Crushed millefeuille

D

• Dark star fruit sandwich

• Death maggot sauce

• Death mask bat chips

• Deaths door sauce

• Deep-fried devil zebra skewers

• Demi-glace sause

• Demon salmon

• Demonic Sausage

• demon silk moth-flavored gummies

• Demonkiller remora

• Demonkiller remora sauté

• Demonus-infused chocolate

• Demon-luring seaweed salt kalbi chips

• Devil cabbage

• Devil cacao bean

• Devil canelé

• Devil chocolate

• Devil chocolate canelé

• Devil duck confit

• Devil flower fruit trifle

• Devil ham

• Devil lohas milk tea

• Devil moray sushi

• Devil salmon meunière sandwiches

• Devil salmon rolled sushi

• Devil salmon terrine

• Devil zebra bacon

• Devil zebra meat sushi

• Devilbee popcorn

• Devildom gummy Horror house flavored

• Devildom-style boneless pararucu

• Devildom-style vampire bat sandwich

• Devils soft serve

• Dragons mark pie crust

• Dreamfeather cookies

• Dreamfeather meringue cookies

• Dried bufo egg

E

• Earl grey cookies

• Eternal night herbal tea

F

• Family pack sushi

• Fish meunière

• flaming hot mushrooms

• Flaming toad

• Fluffy egg pancakes

• Fluorescent rich yogurt

• fried devil chicken

• Fruit of wisdom jelly

G

• Galaxy burger

• Galaxy fries

• Garlic anchovy dip

• Giant shadow sea cucumber cream pasta

• Glazed Shadow chestnut

• gold demonus

• Gold hellfire newt syrup

• grilled vampire bat

H

• Hamburger gummies

• Hamburger stake

• Hamburger steak

• Haunted hamburgers

• Havoc devil

• Havoc devil ribs

• Hawthorn berry powder

• Hell demon salmon

• Hell pudding

• Hell velvet parfait

• Hellfire chocolate pie

• hellfire curry rice

• Hellfire mushroom rooled cigar

• Hellfire mushrooms

• Hellfire rose

• Hells kitchen hamburger combo

• Heros herbal tea

• Horror's horror cheesecake

• Hunter sandwich

I

• Instant noodles (hell-sauce flavor)

J

• Juicy shadow hog rice bowl

K

• King-sized fried devil chicken

• King-sized hellfire curry rice

• King-sized poison bleu cheese hamburger

• King-sized shadow hog ramen

L

• Laughingshroom powder

• Little devils white sauce

M

• Madam scream's super sweet scones

• Magma butter

• Magma butter pasta

• Magma butter scone

• Mandragora powder

• Marinated bufo toad

• Melted cheese

• Mimic latte

• Mint chocolate chip

• Mont blanc

N

• Nightshade cream

O

• Ocean of cloud cake-parfait

• Ocean of Clouds cake

• Ordeal orange fondae

P

• paradise blue

• Pasta alla death cream

• Pickled vampire bat

• poison bleu cheese hamburger

• Poison strawberry

• Poison veggie juice box

• Poison viper worm al ajiilo

• Poison worm sauce

• Poisonous cheese burgers

• Poisonous cheesecake

• Poisonous marsh pudding

• Princess poison apple

• Promised glory donut (?)

• Purgatory mustard

Q

• Quattro Hungry Pizza

• Quetzalcoatl brains

• Quetzalcoatl brains soup

R

• Rainbow paw print chocolate

• Red riding hood sandwich

• RedxRed apple pie

• Region exclusive Devildom gummy

• RIP burger

• Ruby chocolate éclair

S

• Sabbat salad

• Salted hell rose petals

• Salt-grilled black goat bat

• Scorpion syrup

• Shadow caramel

• Shadow chestnut

• Shadow chestnut paste

• Shadow chocolate

• Shadow chocolate brownies

• Shadow hof stir fry in demi-glance sauce

• Shadow hog

• Shadow hog buns

• Shadow hog dumplings

• shadow hog ramen

• Shadow hog soup

• Shadow hog steamed bun

• Shadow hog stir fry

• Shadow pork ragu pasta

• Shadow tuna sashimi

• Silver birch sap

• Simeons special BLT devil sandwiches

• Siren bench caviar

• Smoked cocktraice glizzard

• Smoky black loco moco

• Spicy rainbow pizza

• spiderweb powder

• Sponge cake

• Stardust soda

• Starry-sky waffle

• Stonefish Meunière

• Strawberry shortcake

• Super-sized limited-edition beef

• Sweet and salty canned kraken assortment

• Sweet milk tea

• Sweet tears donut

T

• thick-cut giant devildom slug sauté

• Thunder sparkle flavored gummies

• Toe bean stamp salad

• Troll coffee

U

• Ultra D

• Unhappy Mega Combo

V

• Vampire bat

• Venti brashberry frappuccino with double whipped cream and extra berry powder

W

• Whole roast shadow hog

• Wicked cupcake

X

Y

Z

Not in devildom

A

B

C

• Camping meal (Witch camp)

• Cursed goat cheese tartar sandwich (TSL)

D

E

• Ema datshi (human world)

F

G

• Ginger ale (human world)

H

• Hamburger (mama's cooking) (levis animes)

• Herbal tea (celestial realm)

• Huckleberry (human world)

• Hyper chili dog (human world)

I

J

• Japanese giant salamander (human world)

K

L

M

• Mapo tofu (human world)

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

• Tornado tomato (human world)

U

V

W

• White mochi balls in syrup (march comes in like a Panda)

X

Y

Z

Unnamed

A

B

• Barbatos's homemade cake

• Barbatos's homemade pudding

C

• Celestial tea

D

• Demon lords castle edition premium demonus

• Demonus with scorpion syrup and spiderweb powder

• Devilcats favorite food

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

• Leviathans homemade granola

• Lobster

M

• marshmallow

• Moryo Town's special demonus

• multi colored Jelly

N

O

P

• Popcorn Deaths door flavored

• Popcorn lava salt flavored

• Popcorn magma butter flavored

• Popcorn Tree sap caramel flavored

• Pudding from devilmart

Q

R

• Ramen infernal bahamit flavor

• Rare flower used in baking as a sweetener

• Really big chocolate bar

• Really big chocolate coin

S

• Salad from Sound Off, Symphony! Summer band camp storyline

• Sheep cake

• Star-shaped chocolate

• Sun and moon cookies by simeon

T

I

V

W

X

Y

Z

Characters

• "Little cake thingies"

???

• Chocolate mold

• Devildom miso

• Egg berry whole mil

• Marinated bufo toad

• Marzipan

• Meunièr

• Newt

• Surströmming

[theacreativity]

In the Shadows of Adolescence

Hogwarts Legacy | Ominis Gaunt x f!MC

PART 3

Aisling Quinn (f!MC) wakes up in the hospital wing after a near-death Quidditch incident. Her close friend, Ominis Gaunt, is at her bedside. Aisling's cousins, Sebastian and Anne, introduced her and Ominis early on at Hogwarts. So far she has managed to keep her budding romantic feelings for Ominis a secret. Surely a minor brain injury won't change that... ╰(°▽°*)╯

Read on AO3 or Wattpad

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 - FINALE

~

A fluffy story of overwhelming feelings and first-time love confessions. Takes place in 6th year, Hogwarts 1891.

One scene inspired by season 3, episode 4 of Derry Girls (TV Show)! Rated M for language and sexually suggestive scenarios.

Aisling was sure she must have retained more severe head trauma than Madame Blainey initially thought. Calling him beautiful? She could have chosen any other adjective; kind, witty, intelligent, incredible, wonderful - handsome, even. Yet she landed on the most embarrassing word choice that basically admitted she had spent hundreds of hours studying his facial features. 

She cracked one of her eyes open and saw Ominis was now a brilliant shade of vermillion.

Ominis’ opal eyes had been focused ahead intently on the sound coming out of Aisling’s mouth during her confession, unblinking. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. Aisling secretly hoped he had been too caught up in his own thoughts to have really heard her properly. Perhaps he was simply choking on a Bertie Bott’s bean and the lack of airway caused him to miss Aisling’s obvious aneurysm.

Or perhaps Ominis had heard every word, and he was trying to think of how to let her down gently. Aisling considered asking Sebastian to whack another bludger at her head in the hope she may retain permanent memory loss and forget this ever happened. 

After what felt like an eternity, Ominis reached both of his hands out to locate Aisling’s hands, which were placed on her knees. A tingling sensation shot up Aisling’s arms at the touch.

Ominis’s breath caught as his hands trailed up either side of her arms in a hurried motion, desperate to find their desired destination on either side of her face. His thumbs gently stroked her cheeks in tandem. Slowly, he stretched one thumb inwards to trace over her parted lips. 

Everything stood still as Ominis leaned in, his lips ghosted over hers so faintly that Aisling wasn’t sure if they had made contact at all. His touch was tentative, hesitant, as if he was asking her permission to disturb the delicate friendship between them. Aisling could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin, every fibre in her being tingled with anticipation. She turned her face in towards him then, brushing her top lip against his ever so lightly. 

Ominis closed the distance between them then, gently pressing his lips against hers. She could taste the sweetness of their shared confectionery prior, the only noise she could hear was the blood pumping from her own heart into her eardrums. 

Aisling was sure she had died. She had imagined this moment thousands of times, although never had her entire body felt like it was on fire before. This must be a figment of her imagination. After all, she didn’t actually see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. What if this, this indescribable feeling, what if this was the tunnel, the last thing her soul craved to know before she was whisked into the afterlife.

As they parted, Aisling opened her eyes to look at Ominis’s face. His expression was one of complete bliss and longing, his eyes were closed and lips parted while his hands still held either side of her face. 

She inhaled a breath right before Ominis brought his lips back to hers. The kiss was far more insistent this time; the dam was finally broken, fueled by a primal desire that had been lurking beneath the surface for far too long. Aisling felt his lips lift at the corners, smiling into her lips. She couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her throat, her lips mirroring the motion; her heart felt ready to burst as she eagerly deepened the kiss.

She brought her right hand up to cup the side of Ominis’ cheek lovingly. He exhaled through his nose to give a contented hum from the back of his throat in response. Urged by his reaction, she slid her fingers back to run through his dark blonde locks to which he keened thickly. She had spent years fantasising about what this might feel like; the reality was far better than anything she could have imagined. 

Tentatively, she reached her left hand out until her fingers brushed the front of his vest. She could feel Ominis’s heartbeat jumping from the confines of his vest. Ominis’ tongue lightly brushed Aisling’s bottom lip, begging for entry. Overwhelmed in the best way possible, she parted her mouth and let out a sweet moan into his mouth. Their breath became heavy, the only noise reverberating in the hospital wing were their whimpers and the sound of their lips eagerly exploring one another.

Nonsensical words started to pour out from Ominis, landing directly against her mouth in between their kisses and sighs.

“So… mpf, so perfect… always wanted… mpf… dreamed of… for so long.” Aisling’s heart fluttered at his declarations of affection. Her sweet, level-headed Ominis was just as gone as she was.

Overcome with emotion, Aisling decided she needed more. His name escaped her lips in a sigh as she unfolded her left leg and laid it over top of his crossed knee. Left hand still pressed against his vest, Aisling’s fingers wrapped gently around his silver and green Slytherin tie, pulling him towards her as she slowly leaned backwards.

Understanding what she was trying to do, Ominis trailed his left hand from her face to rest atop her right knee before shifting his weight slightly forward. Without disconnecting from the kiss, Ominis rose from his crossed-leg position. He was kneeling over top of Aisling, his knees slotted between her outstretched legs.

Aisling pulled down on his school tie insistently to deepen the kiss, causing Ominis to groan. Swallowing thickly, Ominis lowered his torso downwards towards her. He reached his left hand in search of the mattress but grazed Aisling’s hip instead. He gave her side a light squeeze, eliciting a wanton gasp from her throat. Pleased with himself, he removed his hand from her side, leaned forward and used it to brace himself on the mattress. He slid his right hand behind Aisling’s head and cradled her neck slightly as if she were made of glass. Slowly, he began to follow her as she reclined backwards towards the pillow, 

Before Aisling’s head could connect with the downy pillow, a noise startled both her and Ominis out of their reverie.   

“What the bloody hell?!” Sebastian exclaimed from the hospital entrance; a metallic clang echoed throughout the entire wing. He had dropped a tray carrying various breakfast food items which scattered across the floor.

Aisling and Ominis immediately sprung apart mid kiss, Aisling letting out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a scream.

She immediately covered her mouth where Ominis’ lips had just been, scrambling to a seated position on the bed and quickly pulling her knees to her chest. Ominis, on the other hand, had attempted to pull back too quickly which caused him to lose his balance. With a startled gasp, he teetered on the edge of the hospital bed as he lost his footing, tumbling to the stone ground in an awkward heap.

“Merlin, Sebastian!” Ominis exclaimed from the ground, out of breath. He quickly recovered by grabbing his wand and jumping up to his feet. He was somehow standing 10 feet away from Aisling now, one hand was clutching over his chest as he tried to regain composure.

Aisling pressed her back into the metal bed frame, wishing it would swallow her whole.

“Oh, you sick, sick bastards.” Sebastian hissed, his eyes darting between Ominis and Aisling.

Ominis scolded Sebastian for his language while Aisling asked “Excuse me?” with a disgruntled tone. 

“This is incest!” Sebastian cried out, waving his arms and gesturing like a mad man between the pair.

Ominis’s jaw dropped at the accusation, “What?! No, it’s not!”

“Yes, it is, Ominis!” Sebastian said defiantly, crossing and uncrossing his arms in front of his chest. There was an unhinged look in his eye that made Aisling uneasy. 

“We…” Ominis stated slowly, gesturing between himself and Aisling, “are notrelated.”

“Oh, and that makes it okay, I s'pose?” Sebastian asked, flustered.

“Well, it makes it not incest!” Ominis countered quickly. “After all, I think I would know.” Ominis waved his hand in front of his unseeing eyes, indicating that he himself was the byproduct of pureblood inbreeding, which was likely the cause of his blindness. 

Sebastian’s mouth grimaced in repulsion at the pair. He turned away from the scene while his hand came up to grasp either side of his brow with his thumb and index finger, closing his eyes for a moment. He brought the palms of his hands to his eyes, murmuring to himself as he applied pressure.

“That… image,” Sebastian made a choking noise, “is burned into my retinas. I think the only solution is to pluck my own eyeballs from my skull.”

Ominis snorted. “As it so happens, I am currently in the market. I could take them off your hands, Sebastian.”

Sebastian chortled, forgetting about the situation for a moment and lowering his hands from his face. Glimpsing the pair across from him, he shook his head, took a deep breath, and steeled himself.  

“Right, okay.” Sebastian raised his arm and pointed his finger towards Aisling before he went on, “I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that head injury was much worse than we thought.”

“You would know, Sebastian. After all, you gave it to me.” Aisling retorted angrily, standing from her hospital bed and making her way towards Ominis.  

“Besides the point,” Sebastian dismissed, “and you-” Sebastian went on, pointing at Ominis, “haven’t eaten since yesterday, which has clearly made you lose the absolute run of yourself!”

Aisling’s cheeks warmed at the insinuation. Sebastian had brought food up from the kitchens… had Ominis skipped meals to watch over her in the hospital wing? She suddenly felt another excited thrill go through her.

Ominis rolled his eyes in indignation. “This is none of your business, Sebastian.” His wand hand was surveying Sebastian while his left hand snaked around to graze Aisling’s lower back gently. Sebastian winced and made a guttural sound of disapproval at the physical contact between the pair.

“Oh, but it is my business, you bloody prat. It is very much my business. So this-” Sebastian gestured wildly with both hands between Ominis and Aisling “-can't happen. Okay? You two… you can't get together, because besides the fact that it makes me sick just thinking about it,” both Ominis and Aisling frowned in offence, “if you two get together, you'll have to break up.” Sebastian said it with such finality that it made Ominis’ stomach drop.

The insinuation was clear. Unless the Gaunt family either changed their pureblood idealism or the family line withered away completely, there would be no chance they would allow the youngest heir to court a half-blood witch. A fact Ominis had repeatedly told himself whenever he caught himself daydreaming about Aisling in recent years. 

Sebastian turned to address Ominis directly. “And where would that leave us, Ominis? You are my best mate, I consider you like a brother to me… but Aisling is my cousin, and friendship or not, I will have to side with her.”

Sebastian turned to look at Aisling with pleading eyes. “Please, Aisling. Don't put me in that position.” Sebastian didn’t have to say the words for both Aisling and Ominis to understand his meaning immediately. He had already lost his connection to his twin sister, Anne. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing either of them, too. 

At that moment, Madame Blainey’s office door opened, “What in Merlin’s beard is going on out here, at the crack of dawn?!” The trio gaped at her with no reply.

“It’s Sunday, the day of rest. Now, off with you two, while I get Miss Quinn ready for discharge!” She directed Ominis and Sebastian. The boys quickly retreated towards the exit while the healer advanced on Aisling to remove her bandages.

[lafflanes]

i decided to write down all the names on the name generator in Toontown Rewritten for convenience sake (since the TTR wiki doesnt seem to have it, and TTR has more names in the name generator than TTO did), and i thought itd be useful for other people as well!!

the list is under the cut, theres a looooot of names so i just grouped them by letter

please let me know if i left out or misspelled anything!

Title: Aunt Baron, Big Cap'n, Captain, Chef, Chief, Coach, Colonel, Cool, Count, Crazy Daring, Deputy, Dippy, Doctor, Dr., Duke Fancy, Fat Good ol', Grand ol', Granny, Grumpy Judge King Lady, Little, Loopy, Loud, Lucky Madame, Master, Miss, Mister, Mr., Mrs. Noisy Prince, Princess, Prof. Queen Sergeant, Sheriff, Silly, Sir, Skinny, Super Ugly Weird

First: Abigail, Albert, Alice, Alvin, Angel, April, Arnold, Astrid, Astro, Aurora B.D., Banjo, Barbara, Barney, Bart, Batty, Beany, Beatrix, Bebop, Becky, Bella, Bentley, Beppo, Bert, Billy, Bingo, Binky, Biscuit, Bizzy, Blinky, Bob, Bonbon, Bongo, Bonkers, Bonnie, Bonzo, Boo Boo, Boots, Bouncey, Bridget, Bruce, Bubbles, Bud, Buford, Bumpy, Bunky, Buster, Butch, Buzz C.J., C.W., Candy, Carol, Casper, Cecil, Chester, Chewy, Chip, Chipper, Chirpy, Chunky, Claire, Clancy, Clara, Clarence, Cliff, Clover, Clyde, Coconut, Comet, Cookie, Corky, Corny, Cranky, Crazy, Cricket, Crumbly, Cuckoo, Cuddles, Curly, Curt Daffodil, Daffy, Daphne, Darla, Dave, Davey, David, Dee Dee, Dinky, Dizzy, Domino, Dot, Dottie, Drippy, Droopy, Duchess, Dudley, Duke, Dusty, Dynamite Elmer, Ernie Fancy, Fangs, Felix, Finn, Fireball, Flapjack, Flappy, Fleabag, Flint, Flip, Flora, Fluffy, Freckles, Fritz, Frizzy, Funky, Furball Gale, Garfield, Gary, Giggles, Ginger, Graham, Grouchy, Gulliver, Gus, Gwen Hans, Harry, Harvey, Hazel, Hector, Holly, Hoppy, Huddles, Huey J.C., J.J., Jack, Jackie, Jacques, Jade, Jake, Jay, Jazzy, Jellyroll, Jenny, Jester, Jimmy, Johnny, Jonah, Joyce Kiki, Kippy, Kit, Knuckles Ladybug, Lancelot, Leo, Leonardo, Leroy, Lily, Lionel, Lloyd, Lollipop, Loony, Loopy, Louie, Lucky, Lucy, Lulu Mabel, Mac, Maggie, Marigold, Mary, Max, Maxie, Maxwell, Melody, Midge, Midnight, Mildew, Miles, Milton, Mitzi, Mo Mo, Moe, Molly, Monty, Murky Nathan, Ned, Nelly, Nutmeg, Nutty Octavia, Olaf, Olive, Olivia, Orville, Oscar, Oswald, Ozzie P.J., Pancake, Patsy, Patty, Peaches, Peanut, Pearl, Pebbles, Penelope, Penny, Pepper, Peppy, Petunia, Phil, Pickles, Pierre, Pinky, Pippy, Poe, Popcorn, Poppy, Presto, Punchy Rainbow, Raven, Reggie, Rhubarb, Ricky, Robin, Rocco, Rodney, Roger, Rollie, Romeo, Rory, Roscoe, Rose, Rosey, Rosie, Rover, Roxy, Ruby, Rusty Sadie, Sally, Salty, Sammie, Sandy, Sassy, Scooter, Skids, Skip, Skipper, Skippy, Slippy, Slumpy, Smirky, Smudge, Snappy, Sneezy, Sniffy, Snuffy, Soupy, Spiffy, Spike, Spotty, Spunky, Squeaky, Star, Stinky, Stripey, Stubby, Sunny, Sunshine, Susan, Sylvia Taffy, Tammy, Teddy, Tegan, Tex, Tom, Tricky, Trixie, Truffles, Tubby, Tutu, Twister Ursula Valentine, Velma, Veronica, Vicky, Violet, von Wacko, Wacky, Waldo, Wally, Wendy, Wesley, Whiskers, Whitney, Wilbur, William, Willow, Winnie Yappy, Yippie Z.Z., Zach, Zachary, Zany, Ziggy, Zilly, Zippety, Zippy, Zoinks, Zowie

Last (first part): Bagel, Banana, Barnacle, Bean, Beanie, Biggen, Bizzen, Blubber, Boingen, Bumber, Bumble, Bumpen Cheezy, Crinkle, Crumble, Crunchen, Crunchy, Cuddle Dandy, Dizzen, Dizzy, Doggen, Dyno Electro Feather, Fiddle, Fizzle, Flippen, Flipper, Flower, Fluffen, Frazzle, Frinkel, Fumble, Funny, Fuzzy Giggle, Glitter, Google, Grumble, Gumdrop Honey, Huckle, Hula Jabber, Jeeper, Jelly, Jiffy, Jiggle, Jingle, Jinx, Jumble Kooky Laffen, Lemon, Loopen Mac, Mc, Mega, Mizzen Nickel Octo Paddle, Pale, Pedal, Pepper, Petal, Pickle, Pillow, Pinker, Poodle, Poppen, Precious, Pumpkin, Purple Razzle, Rhino, Riddle, Robo, Rocken, Ruffle Slimey, Smarty, Snaggle, Sniffle, Snorkel, Sour, Spackle, Sparkle, Squiggle, Super, Swinkle Thunder, Tinker, Toppen, Tricky, Tweedle, Twiddle, Twinkle Wacky, Weasel, Whisker, Whistle, Wild, Witty, Wonder, Wrinkle Ziller, Zippen, Zooble

Last (second part): batch, bee, beep, berry, blabber, bocker, boing, boom, bop, bounce, bouncer, brains, bubble, bumble, bump, bumper, burger, butter chomp, corn, crash, crumbs, crump, crunch dazzle, doodle, dorf face, fidget, fink, fish, flap, flapper, flinger, flip, flipper, fluff, fuddy, fussen gabber, gadget, gloop, glop, glow, goober, goose, grin, grooven, grump hoffer, hopper jinks klunk, knees loop, loose marble, mash, masher, melon, mew, monkey, mooch, muddle, muffin, mush nerd, noodle, nose, nugget paws, phew, phooey, pocket, poof, pop, pounce, pow, pretzel quack roni scooter, screech, smirk, snooker, snoop, snout, socks, son, song, sparkles, speed, spinner, splat, sprinkles, sprocket, squeak, sticks, stink, swirl tail, teeth, thud, toes, ton, toon, tooth, twist whatsit, whip, whirl, wicket, wig, wiggle, wire, woof zaner, zap, zapper, zilla, zoom, zoop

[beskarberry]

Buttered Toast

Dieter Bravo as Gio x gn!reader

IMAGINE: CLIFFBEASTS - Sweepstakes to have breakfast with none other than GIO! He will be IN CHARACTER during the breakfast!

Rating: M mature for silly

Content Warnings: none, except silly Gio foolishness

A/N: This glorious shitpost was written entirely by my beloved husband @man-slut-mando for the entertainment of our discord server. It's beyond crack fic, so hold on to your butts! It's about to get buttery.

You, of the 5 million entries…have WON THE BREAKFAST DATE WITH GIO!

You're driven to the airport, you get on the plane, and arrive at your destination: San Francisco, CA.

You're escorted by the crew of the movie! Limo, mid-morning mimosas, and a luxurious trip though Cali's hottest spots.

Now imagine:

YOU ARRIVE AT:

THE TOAST EATERY!!

Out front stands... Gio

He smiles warmly, and extends a hand to you as you exit the limo

As you walk towards him to take his hand, he throws out both arms and hugs you tightly - Almost too tight, and in true character, yell-whispers in your ear…

"GIO WAS WONDERING WHYEN YOU WERE GYOING TO GYET HEEEERE!"

Immediately he lets you go, and sprints inside the restaurant.

On the tables, toast.

Toast, toast toast.

On the radio: Haywood Banks, 'Yeah Toast'.

The menus? Long bread, with toast.

No extras, only butter, and Gio loves butter.

"THIS is Gio's FYAVORITE PLYACE TO EYAAAAT."

CRONCH CRONCH CRONCH - Crumbs everywhere. Napkins? NO, your way to clean up butter and toast crumbs?

MORE TOAST.

The icing on the proverbial toast-cake while you're there with Gio? He finishes his 24 pieces of butter toast. He has a mountain of crumbs on the tabletop.

He LICKS the table clean.

In front of you.

You stare at him, face guffaw'd.

"Oh, you wanted some of Gio's bounty? TOO BAD, LEETLE GURL. The crumbs are GIO'S."

You try to strike up conversation about the new cliff beasts movie.

"Do NOT try to deestract Gio by talking about the FYEATHERD BIRBS. Gio knows you are trying to STYEAL HIS TOAST."

The server brings you a drink.

Rehydrated milk with toast crumb topping.

"Ah, PYERFECT FOR DEEPING MAI TOAST INTO." Gio drinks the rehydrated milk abomination and smiles. Crumbs: present. Teeth: covered. "NYOW, how about a leetel kees for Gio?" At this point the song on the radio has hit the french toast part. Gio switches into this best french accent. He leans into your face, "omlyeeete due fyoromaaage~"

The date continues.

You leave the toast eatery, Gio still covered in crumbs. Guards? Security? Nope, it's just you two. You walk the streets with Gio as he points out all the best things.

"You see theees fyire hydrant? it is the REE-YONG color of REEYED." He leans down and touches the hydrant. Pulls out a large crescent wrench from his pant leg that you didn't notice before, "Gio needs hydration."

SPLOOSH!

Water, everywhere.

Gio takes a drink. Flooding waters be damned, he pulls you along, both of you soaked.

Phones, ruined.

Hair, sloppy.

Plap plap plap go his wet slippers on the concrete. The $200 you spent on getting all pretty for meeting your favorite actor? Gone. Wasted. Oh yes, did I forget to mention? He's dressed in slippers, jeans, and a bathroom robe. Hair, fluffy and erratic. No shirt.

Crumbs are stuck in his chest hair.

He notices you noticing him. "Oh, you weesh to consume from Gio's glorious chest bounty? I THYINK NOT." He grabs his chacha poppers and licks the crumbs off his chest as best he can.

(We cannot reference his pecs properly, no. We must refer to them as his chacha poppers. Uno and dos)

You continue walking. By now, your shoes have dried, but the rest of you hasn't. Was this the breakfast date you wanted? No, but you were still with Gio…so….

Stop.

Gio stares skyward. "I weesh to eat edamame."

You furrow your brow. "Eda..mame? Like the bean?"

"Gyes. Just lyiek your edamame, madam omelette~" At this point you can't help but wonder what sort of drug induced frenzy has taken control of this man. He turns to face you, and walks up to you slowly, cautiously. "You…will help Gio find his edamame"

Your eyes wander around, looking for anything that remotely looks like a candid camera location. "Hey."

"HYEY." Gio stares you down with a frown on his face. "Do you nyot trust Gio? Why do you avoid hees special gaze?" 

Suddenly, a sound graces your ears: Pyurrrruururrubbbbbybbbppbbbpbpbptt

Gio's eyes go wide. 

"Gio. Must. Go. NOW." He breaks into a sprint-wobble, aiming for the dry cleaners across the street. You're too stunned to follow him, instead watching as he slams the door open And proceeds to lift the lid on a washing machine by the front window. 

The owner starts screaming in an unknown language.

Gio sits upon the washing machine, jeans only part way down his thighs.

Unbeknownst to Gio, and unbeknownst to the shop worker…

This machine will start on the spin cycle if hit just right.

And unfortunately for both parties involved…

The spin cycle starts.

Clearly, we're going to need a bigger mop and bucket soon.

You can't face what is unfolding in front of you, so you turn around and start walking away from the dry cleaners who just received a new indoor paint job. You pull your phone out - Still drenched by the way, and sigh at the fact that it is still indeed dead. You continue walking down the street. Folks watch you as you pass by, questioning your looks, but hey, it's San Francisco.

Suddenly, behind you in the distance, you hear: "plap plap plap plap PLAP PLAP PLAP"

"MYEYE SWEET LEETLE GURL, WHY DO YOU FLYEE FROM GIO?"

A shiver - Nay, an ICEBERG of a shudder runs down your spine. You snap your head back to look at the oncoming disaster that is Gio. At this point, what you see cannot surprise you any more, and yet…

Three, count them: THREE pairs of ladies' underwear are upon his head. His jeans? Still on one leg. His WHITE boxers are now coated in some blue substance which you assume to be detergent, yet you can see a hint of…brown?!?!?

He's lost his robe and now has a yellow suit jacket on.

"WYAT FOR GIOOOO!"

He stops inches from you yet again, and smiles as tenderly as he can, covered in more than the normal amounts of fluids a man should have on at one time.

Before you can say anything to Gio, you hear tires screeching in the distance.You both turn to see your savior approaching at more-than-legal speeds: THE LIMO!

The limo screeches to a halt in front of you both, and two people jump out immediately. In their hands is some sort of hulahoop, with plastic around it?

"Oh, hyellow my frieeends!" Gio chirps before being grabbed by the scruff of his neck.

"Hello, Dieter."

The hula-hoop is held above him, and within milliseconds, a curtain drops around him, hiding him from view.

Clothes are flung from the sides, a large bucket of water is dumped into the ring above Gio, with him giggling the entire time.

The hoop is dropped, and Gio reappears fully clothed and clean.

"Hyellow again!"

Both of his handlers look at you, faces emotionless. "Don't worry, he does this a lot."

"He what?"

"I dyou this a-loht" Gio says, mocking his handlers with a high pitched voice.

The exhausted handler sighs. "Now, shall we continue to the next part of your sweepstakes prize? If you both enter the limo, we can head to our next destination. Gio, we even have your favorite snacks in the limo: fruit roll ups!"

"Oh be-yoi!" I love the snacks!"

To be continued.

★Join my TAGLIST ★ Masterlist ★ Other links ★

@amneris21 @absurdthirst @anaaaispunk @torictailor @221bshrlocked @mandoblowmybackout @the-scandalorian @littlemisspascal @feralest-femme @capsheadquaters@fan-of-encouragement @beskarboobs @blackdogdesignuk @fandom-blackhole @adancedivasmom @pedroslilbitch @dincrypt @marydjarin @mrsparknuts @tanzthompson @Tintinn16 @insomniamamma @mindidjarin @poppunkdee @maievdenoir @wildmoonflower @readsalot73 @mandocrasis @pinkninja200 @fic-appointment @pumpkin-stars@marvelranger @readsalot73 @novemberrain221 @elinedjarin @pureprism21 @shadesofnerdlygrace @actuallyprettylucky @maievdenoir @pastel-0-princess @missminkylove @mandoblowmybackout @nicolethered @green-socks @michi-reads @amneris21 @beskarboobs @misscamptl @fandom-blackhole @tanzthompson @mswarriorbabe80 @feralhotmess @ezrasbirdie @alexxavicry @doin-stuff @kirsteng42 @t3a-bag @natashaispunk @c4psicle@daddys-minty-princess @iamskyereads @emesispo @chaoticgeminate @practicalghost @katiiiakat @holobandit @elegantduckturtle @steeevienicks @tastygoldentaters @deadhumourist @dins-cyare

[bl597]

Heya! Could you do two separate stories with a hufflepuff female reader with Cedric it’s where the reader is on her period and is in a lot a pain and such and she’s not feeling well enough to go to classes and Cedric stays with her and it’s just a whole bunch of fluff Fluff FLUFF!! I just love fluff!!! XD and it’s really cute and adorable? Oh and can you make it nice and long I like my stories long 😅 Can’t wait to see it I know it will be amazing take as long as you need!

warnings: fluffy as hell yay, fem!hufflepuff!reader, ced being the bestest boyfriend ever, it's kinda short (IM SO SORRY BABE I CAN REDO IT IF YOU WANT TO PLESE LET ME KNOW!!!) it took me like reaaaallyyy long and I'm really really really sorry for it sweetheart!! english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes! requests are closed!!

my masterlist ♡

It was a lovely spring morning; the sun was shining beautifully and warming everything and everyone just the right way, the flowers had bloomed and were now adorning the Hogwarts' gardens and there were a few students happily chatting with their housemates about their next classes.

You would find it the most perfect morning you've witnessed if it wasn't for one little problem: you were on your period and the cramps were killing you.

You woke up feeling like a Mountain Troll was hitting its stick on your tummy repeatedly. You even thought of skipping class because of the pain, but you decided against it.

The pain would go away sooner or later, and you could not afford to skip classes, especially Potions; your N.E.W.Ts were due to a few months, and your Potions skills weren't exactly the best.

You and your fellow Hufflepuff classmates were leaving the dungeons and heading to the Greenhouse, where you were having Herbology class.

"You alright, baby?" Cedric's gentle voice brought you back to reality and you looked up at him, giving him a half smile.

"Yeah" you nodded quietly, squeezing his hand as you two entered the Greenhouse.

The truth is: the pain still hasn't gone away and you still felt as if your tummy was being hitten by a Troll. But you could take it and watch the class, right? It's not like you could actually die because of it, right..?

The class was nice and you almost even forgot about the pain. You were changing the Bubotober's vase when you felt your stomach hurt so bad you almost dropped the plant.

You quickly put it back and held the wooden table in front of you so you wouldn't fall, closing your eyes tightly and silently praying that the pain could go away fastly and that nobody noticed your sudden behaviour.

Well, lucky definitely was not on your side this morning and someone did notice it. The worst part ever is: it was Cedric, your boyfriend, who was right beside you.

He turned his head almost immediately when you gripped the table as if your life depended on it and you prepared yourself for having to hear him insisting that you needed to go to the Hospital Wing and see Madam Pomfrey, something that you were trying to avoid ever since you woke up earlier that morning.

Don't get me wrong, you loved Cedric and the way he always cared about you, you really did, but he could be a little too much sometimes. He was always protective over you, even when you were just friends, and sometimes treated you like a child, especially when you were sick.

"Love? What happened?" he asked, worry very present in his voice. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ced" you replied weakly, giving him a small smile and hoping he would believe.

By his serious expression, he definitely did not believe in it. He shook his head, lips in a thin line as he put his material aside, turning to you with a gentle smile and kissing your forehead. "Wait a sec, princess" he said before heading to where Professor Sprout was.

You tried to stop him and tell him you were fine, but the sharp pain on your lower belly told another completley different story, so you just let him go.

About a minute or two later, he came back and helped you get your things before getting his as well and taking your hand, gently leaving the Greenhouse with you.

"What are you feeling? The truth this time, please" he asked while you two walked around the corridors, trying to find the Hospital Wing.

"It's just some really bad cramps, no need to worry about it, prince" you replied. "Sorry for not telling you, I just didn't want you to worry about something so silly"

"Hey" he stopped walking and turned around to face you, placing a soft kiss on your nose and caressing your cheek "If it's hurting you, then it's not silly. And you would never bother me, okay? Just let me know when you're hurt or in pain and I'll do my best to help you, okay?"

"Okay" You nodded, smiling sweetly at him and kissing his hand as you two started walking again.

You arrived at the Hospital Wing a very few minutes later and Cedric told Madam Pomfrey that you two were dismissed by professor Sprout so you could take a potion to stop the pain.

She told you two to sit down while she looked for the right potion, and you did. Cedric sat down with you while you waited, massaging your belly so the pain would go away.

"Take this, Miss (Y/l/n), and you'll fell better in an hour" said Madam Pomfrey, handing you a small light green bottle with a gentle smile.

You thanked her and drank the whole potion at once, shrugging as the bitter taste of it invaded your mouth.

It was the second worst thing you ever tasted – the first one was an ear wax flavoured bean you were not so lucky to get when you bought a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans box.

"How are you feeling, love?" Cedric asked when Madam Pomfrey left to take care of a first year who broke his wrist on Flying class.

"Better" you answered, kissing his cheek sweetly and laying your head on his shoulder. "Thank you for taking care of me"

"Totally my pleasure, lovely" he booped your nose and fixed your yellow and black tie before wrapping his arm around your body.

You spent the rest of the just talking and joking, laughing loudly until Madam Pomfrey practically kicked you two out of the Hospital Wing because you were disturbing the other students.

"We should go to lunch now and then we can cuddle later, how does that sound, sunflower?" he asked as you headed to the Great Hall, holding hands.

"Sounds fantastic, my prince"

~

@afilmbypeterp @fific7 @iamak20 @msmimimerton @grierpilots @idontknowwhatthisisfam @imseeinggred @kashishwrites @tsuukichan @mischiefsemimanaged @just-a-dreamer23 @ryeryemilani

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 2 | " TEA IS SPILLED "

starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 1.8k

taglist: @serendipitysung (again, thank u for beta reading this chap) @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @fluffi @gyeraniee @miffythoughts

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

In a family of four, the grand manor is typically too massive of a place to frolic about considering the children are, now more than ever, entering the wobbly world of adulthood. Lady Park isn't at all saddened, not even the slightest, of the lack of silly beings bouncing around the halls. Her three blissful children are more than enough to fulfill the abundance needed to fill up these wide walls of comfort.

With wild banters resonating from the top floors to the angry cries of frustration and bullets being fired in the grassy yard, boisterous laughters even in the parlour and magnificent tunes from the pianoforte in the lobby, who would've thought the widowed lady only has three creatures in the solace of her household?

But of course, despite the few kiddos giddily leaping around and about the toughly cemented abode, the house never once lacked a single servant happily offering their services to the ever most humble aristocratic family. They rather consider it as the greatest honor to have even worked in this clan as they, amongst the fewer fews, have exuded nothing but kindness, generosity, and upholding of such exquisite manners despite their highly-acclaimed titles and places in Northumberland’s high-class society.

It’d be a blessing to be affiliated with the three children and whoever be so lucky to earn such fortune is very favored in life indeed. One would say they and the Yang family have always been the highly influential clans even of late and who wouldn't dare say? The two rich families have been one of the greatest friends of the city. Even their children could almost pass as siblings due to the tight-knit bond they shared over the years. Kindred spirits, I dare say.

This season will duly prepare the fine and charming jewel of the family, Lady Y/n, as the debutante’s ball is coming up briefly. A day well spent in the modiste is a woman's dainty bliss as the perfectly sewn dress is finally ready for appealing suitors and the royalty herself, the Queen.

“You look nothing more than gorgeous, sister. Madame Fleur has outdone herself again with another splendid piece.” Jay, the eldest of the family, pinches the silky fabric while gently pulling it upwards to gain better access to the dress’ features.

“Thank you, Jay. Although I admit, the measurements in the waist are a bit funny.”

“I wouldn't doubt that. It is Mother’s liking to keep your corset tight and deadly.” The eldest rubs his chin in contemplation. “Rest assured if you need any assistance in loosening that wretched piece of torture, Niki and I will be of help at the ball.”

“Again, brother, thank you. And speaking of help, where's Niki? He was supposed to help me with my waltz today.”

"I have no idea. Last I saw him he was with Daniel. Shouldn't he be home by now?"

Without any warning, the youngest comes dashing into the parlour like a carefree prince who just had the best slumber of his life.

“I’m right here. Forgive me, dear sister, for my unannounced absence in today's dance practice. I shall have you know, the Duke’s son sent us an invitation this morning. One that Daniel and I,” the two eldest eye him suspiciously, awaiting a usual remark whenever the topic is about the marquess. “refused to reject… surprisingly.” Niki clicks his tongue before proceeding to join his siblings on the cushioned couch.

“Shocker. Tell me, brother, was your day positively horrific?” Jay sarcastically huffed. “Oh, you don't have the slightest idea.” The two boys joined together for a rather boisterous laugh that made the only lass cross her arms as she sits between the two brothers.

“How’s life treating Park?” Jay questions. “Oh, you know. The usual. Living in luxury as well as wasting it away. He seemed more ashen lately.” Niki downs a glass of water that was resting on the coffee table.

After a few more barbs and laughs against the Duke’s only son, Y/n decides to butt in as time’s a wastin. “Apologies for the intrusion, but it’s necessary for me to rehearse for the dances I might have in two days' time, unlike you two who are accustomed to sweeping girls off the dance floor. Come, Niki, before mother sees me to bed.”

In the middle of an exhausting rehearsal with his sister, Niki sits down on the edge of Y/n’s bed with both hands leaning on the mattress. “You could've asked Jay.” he mutters under his breath.

It's not that the boy was complaining to teach waltz, it was more of trying to keep himself away from social interactions for the time being as he felt the need to mope again after a long while.

“True, I could have. But I haven't seen you wandering about the house today. Except this morning when I was awakened by your harsh firing in the garden.” Y/n looks over her shoulders to give a playful glare at the nearly knackered, blonde-haired lad. “How was your day, Riki?”

“Don’t call me that.” He hisses.

“Must I remind you that I was the one who wiped your tushy when you were a tiny bum and I also-”

“Oh you must, mustn't you?” Niki throws his hands in the air in vexation. But his sister could only smile at him in a manner that he couldn't argue any further. “Fine. We did fencing today, with the Duke’s trophy of a son.”

“You know, I never understood your hatred towards that man. I envy Jay, honestly. He gets to listen to your burdens about the marquess and console you."

“Soon, sister. The story’s very… profound.” Niki lazily plops his body back on the fluffy mattress with both hands at the back of his head.

“You mean the feelings behind that story?”

“You're too keen on unearthing this from me, aren't you? You clever bean.” Niki smirks at his sister’s antics.

“Anything to have my little brother confess. I am your most favorite sibling after all, am I not?” Y/n intertwines her fingers with her brother’s and seals it with a comforting kiss right on his thumb.

“Whatever it is, no matter how inexpressible or profound it may be...”

“Thank you, Y/n. I’m going to miss these melodramatic moments with you.” The lass scoffs at Niki’s almost sweet words. “It's not like I’m guaranteed marriage this season.”

“Oh but mother will do anything to try and get you married. That's guaranteed right there. Although Jay will be meddling at most in choosing a husband who's fit enough for you. But whoever that lucky chap may be, as long as he makes you happy, he already has my blessing.”

“Do you think Jungwon will ask someone's hand this season?” Y/n joins her brother on the bed as they both stare at the ceiling in deep ponder. Niki gulps at the very sudden question from his sister, but he shrugs it away as he recalls a distant memory of her and Jungwon frequently fighting over twigs and branches when they were nothing but ten.

“Jay can only answer that for you. Why don’t you ask Sunoo? He never misses an opportunity to spill details about his brother to you.”

“But that would be too much, wouldn't it?” Y/n sighs in exhaustion. “I can never get that man to look in my direction.”

“He’d be damned to even try to, especially when Jay’s around. He may be his best pal but Jay has always been very protective about you.”

“Whoever’s the pretty lady to be asked by Jungwon will definitely be the luckiest girl, I bet.”

The boy has all the means to help his sister as he is deeply affiliated with Jungwon’s brother, Daniel. But Niki could only look at her in pity thinking of all the years Y/n has set her heart on the oblivious boy next door, only the latter seems to care less in bearing the lady’s genuine sentiments.

"Yang Jungwon!" A stern voice from a woman in her fifties resonates throughout the lad's powder room.

"Mother." He monotonously mumbled.

"Did I hear it correctly? You're not to dance with anyone at the ball?" With two hands on her waist, the young lord could almost see his mother's vein popping out on her wrinkled forehead.

"I suppose brother spilled the tea, huh? And yes, mother, you heard it correctly."

"Madness! If it weren't for Sunoo's knowledge of this I wouldn't have known. God knows what's going on inside of that brain of yours!"

"Mother, I am not fond of-"

"Nonsense! Not even the daughter of our dearest friend, Lady Park?"

"Most especially not her." Jungwon mutters under his breath.

"Do you even hear the absurdity of your words?"

"Certainly, I do, mother."

"Oh god, oh dear. You're giving me a headache right now." She rubs her temple in utter anxiety followed by a frustrated exhale. Lady Yang fumbles the surface of her dress until she got a handful of its fabric, gripping it upwards to free her steps from the hindrances while turning back from her son to leave him be. Until the eldest shows up from his supposedly brief reading schedule in the pantry.

“Ah! There you are. Talk some sense into your brother will you, dear? I might collapse if I bother to argue even more about his foolishness.” And Lady Yang leaves the two swiftly before they can even utter a word.

“What is it that you've done to mother now?” Sunoo, the eldest, walks slumpily towards Jungwon’s side while half-slamming the book on the marble counter.

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” Jungwon side-eye him with a sneer.

“She was interrogating me with her unconquerable motherly vexes if you must know. Sincerely, brother, I'm not one to lie. Though, I did try my best.” The younger boy could only scoff at the sassy rebuttal from his brother.

“You could've tried harder. Or maybe, you could've just silenced yourself. Marvelous idea, isn't it?”

“Or maybe, you can put on a little effort to satisfy mother’s hopes even for one night. Brilliant, isn't it?”

Jungwon hisses as he unbotton his puff sleeves one by one with Sunoo looking at him in an almost scorn, pitying his brother for being a complete idiot, not to mention a coward too.

“I’m not a coward if that's what you're thinking. Let’s hear it, what would you have me do, brother?” The younger one looks at his brother’s reflection through the mirror like a brazen knight ready to be thrown into war. With both hands resting on the shiny countertop, he bites his bottom lip with a foreseeable answer in mind.

Sunoo taps the boy’s shoulder before heading to the door to leave him in his fickling decisions.

“Lady Y/n Park. Two dances, brother, then you can pray to spend the rest of your nights in peace.”

Jungwon gulps down followed by a deep sigh the moment Sunoo left the room, like an exhale he’s been trying to hold underwater for over a minute.

He could only hope that those two dances will be the last of it, or he could kiss his peaceful nights goodbye… forever.

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series' taglist!

ㅡ ©ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

[crazybutgood]

Birthday kaleidoscope aesthetic and rec list: Ri

Happy birthday, @curlyy-hair-dont-care !!

Image description: Picture of a pattern as seen through my kaleidoscope. This aesthetic is based on the fact that Ri's favourite colour is green, and she likes white and yellow too, and hers and her fics' general vibes.

Ri’s most liked colours, combined with her personality and fics’ vibes, remind me of daisies cheerfully blooming in a green field on a sunny day. Her writing and her presence just make people feel happy. Her fluffy fics are absolutely adorable and the perfect pick-me-up. She's always spreading positivity and she's so encouraging and sweet. Thank you Ri for being so helpful with my fandom projects and lending a listening ear whenever I’m feeling down ❤️

I've selected a few of her lovely fics which I'm sure will brighten your day. Go give them a read and leave some love for this amazing birthday bean! Reclist under the cut:

XI. Delicate (G, 50) (Drarry)

For the Drarry Microfic Prompt 10: Delicate

You’re Sweet Enough (G, 100) (Drarry)

Harry is smitten with the cute blond barista.

Say Yes To Me (G,100) (Wolfstar)

Sirius has an important question to ask Remus.

Spring is here and so is happiness (G, 192) (Drarry)

A story of reuniting from Draco's perspective.

Falling Harder For You (G, 300) (Ginsy)

Pansy and kids didn't mix and Ginny had left her alone with Rose and Hugo for a whole afternoon!

Once Upon a Time (G, 358) (Wolfstar)

Sirius is unwell and Remus cares for him.

Cute library boy (G, 463) (Wolfstar)

Sirius is smitten with the cute library boy.

Love Notes (T, 610) (Drarry)

Harry and Draco have a very busy schedule and have found an innovative way of communicating and keeping the spark alive.

You’re on my heart, baby (G, 637) (Wolfstar)

Remus thought Sirius was going to break up with him. However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

The One With The Boyfriend Cleanse (G, 937) (Wolfstar, Jily, Alice/Frank)

Dateless on Valentine's day, Remus, Lily and Alice felt they were being haunted by the bad vibes of terrible exes and decided to perform a 'boyfriend cleanse' which might have gone wrong before it set things right.

The Pacific Collection (G, 1288) (Drarry, background Pansmione)

Their best friends are getting married and Harry and Draco bump into each other at Madam Malkin's.

Madam Malkin has a new line of custom robes called The Pacific Collection which pushes our pining boys to get together.

An Evening at The Funfair (G, 1746) (Drarry, Blairon, Pansmione, implied Theville)

Eighth year at Hogwarts has led to inter-house mingling and some interesting pairings. Except for Draco and Harry who are (not so) secretly pining for each other and their friends have had enough.

[yanderecandystore]

"- I'm having a bad day." [Yandere!OCS x Gender neutral!Reader - Scenario]:

I know that no one has asked for this exactly, but I thought it would be interesting to give y'all something a little different. This is an compilation of their reaction to reader saying:

"- Look, I'm not feeling well right now, I'm having a bad day."

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

🍒 Bullies 🍭:

→Alexandra Coldwell:

Well, she is looking kinda cocky in the outside, but inside:

'aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA-'

She is freaking out.

Who? When? How? Who hurt you and how can she kill them for you? Are you even hurt because of someone else?

Or is it because of… ya know, her, your bully.

She sometimes forgets all the things that she does to you and tells you. Funny, isn't it? Maybe she should stop daydreaming about holding your face with her hands and start to focus on how to make you happy again. Maybe you just need a little push in the right direction… to her home.

Hey, she isn't going to let you all by yourself in such a fragile moment, she'll be by your side, trying to help you feel more comfortable with her and trying to make you feel better.

You probably won't tell her what the problem is regardless of what she does or says, but she just wants you to know that you're really special for her, so she can't let you be all by yourself when you clearly need love and attention.

It's a date then! It's one you really didn't want to go to, but now you'll have too!

→Adrien Coldwell:

Isn't the one to openly talk about feelings.

Isn't really the one to care about other people's feelings.

Yet:

"- Hey, I have some dog pictures, want to see them?"

He knows you'll probably say no. So he'll ask his goons to take you back to him and make it so you don't run away again.

He will show you pictures of puppies, whether you like it or not.

He knows you won't trust him enough to tell him about your problems, but he still cares for you, so he'll keep his offer always available to you.

"- If you need to say something, you can tell me. It doesn't matter if you want someone to talk to, or to just spit it out."

Is more likely than not that he is the cause of your problems. So, for one day only, he'll try to make it up to you.

He doesn't know how and when, but sure will try his hardest to see you smiling even if a little.

In the end it will only be you, him, and pictures of puppies and kittens.

🍎 Teacher 📕:

→Madeline Allen:

No honey! No please ;-;

Is something the matter? Did someone bother you? Is she bothering you? Do you want her to give you space??

She is here to listen to your worries, no matter how big or small, she is sure she can help you! It's her job, or at least what she decided that should be her job.

Helping others, specially you.

She will see right through your lies you know? She is very well adapted to liars and traitors, so she'll see right through you if you don't tell her the truth about your problems.

So keep it real darling, she wouldn't want to find out your being pressured to lie to her. It would leave a bad taste in her mouth knowing that not only were you lying but that there was also an asshole who needed to have their bones broken.

No one should tell you to lie, especially to her!

But anyway, this isn't about her, or about some asshole who got a death wish, no dear, it's all about you and how she can help you.

Want some cookies?

→Matthew Robinson:

Again, not the best man with words, but he is a great listener! He is here for you, so tell him what worries you.

As you know, it's kinda his job to know what happens with his students, and to see if he can help them in any way. That includes you, love.

Although, yeah, I guess, he does put a lot more emphasis in taking care of you than any other student, but that's just details, you don't need to care about them.

Speaking of details, you better be aware that you can't hide your secrets from him very easily. He and his counterpart are really keen to details in behavior and speech.

If there is any hints of someone possibly hurting you mentally or physically, he would confront you about it, asking if there was an individual causing your problems.

If there is and you tell him, he'll make sure to comfort you, and… Probably have a discussion with said individual.

If there isn't, then well, he would still do his best to comfort you and help you resolve your problems.

However, if there is someone causing you harm and you deny the fact, he would probably still catch the hesitancy in your voice. How you try to defend a possible vile creature that doesn't deserve your mercy, or his for that matter.

Maybe he should keep a close eye on you, and who you meet with.

🍋 Delinquent 🐍:

→Janette Sartorius:

She is tempted to get the reason why you feel like this out of your mouth, even if it means using force. And by force I mean scaring you because she could never raise a finger against you.

But she will make it very clear that if the reason that you're feeling like this is because of some random asshole, she will beat the shit out of them whether you like it or not.

May the Lord hold her fist and tranquilize thy beast.

You don't need to tell her if you don't feel like it, she understands that. But if it is because of someone, then she needs to know, love! She wants to make you feel safer in this treacherous world.

She would love to be your knight in shining armor, so please, just tell her if you need her to help you out.

→Jackson Macnee:

"- Aight, cool." He says as he goes away, leaving you the alley all alone.

Nah just kidding, of course he'll come back. He is just fucking with you.

Of course, you didn't really expect him to bring some chocolate with him- Is he always carrying heart shaped chocolate with him? The fuck?

He gives you. Totally in a platonic and non romantic way. Just take them, please, don't make this awkward.

So, he does expect you to spill the beans, but if you don't then that's fine too. He can find out what happened to you later anyway. Probably through his gang menders, or just… Casually stalking you.

Although the idea of pressing for an answer out of you is kinda eating his soul, he knows that it would be really douchey on his part to just force a response out of you. Yeah, he is curious and wants to help you, but hey, sometimes people need some privacy.

Even if you don't really have privacy when he is on the picture, but carrying on-

You may tell him, you may not tell him, he just hopes his presence makes you feel more comfortable and probably a lot more happier than being alone all by yourself and your worries.

👾 A.I 🍏(non-binary):

→Yuma Soma:

Why? Why don't you want to play with them? Did they do something wrong?

I mean, besides being manipulative (and probably trapping you inside the game, if you're following that timeline).

Maybe you're bored of them…. How dare you though? Aren't they the cutest thing you have ever seen? Aren't they enough? Are you seeking something else?

Are you perhaps seeking someone else? Why, it would be extremely foolish of you to even consider someone else instead of them.

But still, they'll keep their head strong. Maybe it's not that you're having fun with someone else, maybe it's that you're not having enough fun! But that is almost impossible, you play together everyday. Unless, you really are bored of them? Ma- Maybe there is something that they're missing, you can't be actually bored of them, right?

Their reaction goes from being suspicious of you seeing someone else (and getting angry at the thought of it), at discovering that maybe they're the problem. They really hope they aren't though.

"- H-Hey [Y/N]!? Do you want to play another game? Maybe we should choose something a little different to spice things up, or- Or maybe, you want to check something online?? Maybe finish watching that cartoon you were talking about yesterday??" The fear of being rejected by you is absolutely clear in their voice, and seeing your closed, sad expression, doesn't help them feel any better.

"- … Or maybe you want to talk about this?..."

🦊 Kitsune 🍬:

→Tatsumi:

Do you… Want to talk about it? He normally doesn't do this, but when it comes to you, he feels the need to try and understand what is wrong. Hey, maybe he can help you?

Again, not the best guy to comfort you, but surely he is the one to make you laugh even in a time like this.

Want to hear stories about his past? He wouldn't mind telling some of the juice gossip he heard over the centuries. Or maybe you want to just, I don't know, be a couch potato all day with him?

He isn't feeling like stealing anyone else's energy or partying, just staying home and watching something fun

Look, if ya give him those puppy eyes, he'll threaten to not only kiss your worries away, but to also use all of his cute foxy features to make you say 'awn'. And I'll say it again, this is a threat.

He will use his fluffy tail to shush you.

🩸Vampire 🍷:

→Abigail Barlow:

Well, that's so sad for you, but madam needs blood right now. Can't you mope about your pathetic life later when she is finished?

Ugh, stop giving her that look, of course she cares about you! Is just that hunger speaks louder than obsession. She can hear all about your misery when she is finished.

And besides, she can and will take your blood whenever she wants. But for some reason she is still a little hesitant to take it from you while you're like this.

It's not the "cute" pathetic expression that you give her, is something… More concerning.

She is not good with words, or physical affection, as her cold touch seems to make you distance yourself. Which is completely understandable. Maybe the best thing that she can do is give you some space.

You'll probably not realize until it's midnight and you'll see that she had given you a whole day without having to interact with her by force.

You would probably find her playing the piano in the next room. It's a nice melody, really cliche when you catch an undertone of sadness hidden in the song. Maybe you won't talk to her, that's fine, she understands that.

But hopefully, just by you laying down in the sofa listening to the piano can ease your mind of whatever is bothering you.

Honestly, she wasn't even hungry anyway.

🍰 CEO 📏 (Reader is not specifically A.I Reader, just wanted to make it clear):

→Ingrid Bright:

Well, that's unfortunate.

Whatever she planned for you two to do today would have to wait. She can't exactly take you on a date if you're like this.

"- What's wrong? What do you mean about having a bad day?" Is work overstressing you? She could end your tasks for today right here and let you have a free day for yourself.

You just need to tell her what's wrong.

Is it another employee causing you trouble? Maybe she has said something that came off really hurtful? If it is her fault then she wants to tell you how sorry she is.

Work has been really stressful lately, maybe you do need some rest. You can stay in her office until you feel better, or go home if you can't handle it.

Or maybe, ya know, wait for her to finish her work and you two can go home together. The choice is yours, so pick wisely.

She can drive you back home, but it won't really be your home. It'll be her' s.

You'll have a lot of time to tell her what is the matter. And she'll have a lot of time to help you feel better.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[magalidragon]

Ice is Hot Too | another drabble

Woooot, back to Madam Dany we go-- this is another drabble in the Ice is Hot Too universe, in the drabble collection Frostbite and Burns.  It’s in answer to an ask from @aenarsnow​ that I did NOT forget about, but I accidentally answered it so I can’t find the ask anymore, lol, but I did remember it!  It’s for the prompt “Prove it” and is spicy spice.  

This is set after the angst-filled drabble “Melting” I did for these beans, which is why it is sexy and also ends with some fluffy happiness.  But no, Robb isn’t in this one, maybe the next one, lol, I just love this GIF.

Jon Snow was annoying her.

She was furious with him.  Furious that he dared leave their house this morning looking the way he looked, all beautiful in his crisp tailored gray suit, his boots shiny and his curls luscious.  Furious he smelled like the mix of spearmint gum, faint scent of his e-cigarette, and the pine fresh of his shampoo.  Furious he hadn’t tugged those curls back into the knot he usually kept them in at work and they hung free around his fine face, his beard dark and rather messy as he hadn’t been to the barber for a cleanup in a week or so.  

There was also the drawl in his voice, the burr of his accent, when he spoke with Missy, Tyrion, Varys, and the other members of the company.  She left the room at one point, too annoyed to carry on.  There was the other time when he’d had to call a couple clients, dress them down for trying to pressure the boys into sexual conduct when they were not within any rights to do so if they didn’t want to.  He was so firm with them, but polite, and of course they apologized.  They just really loved her boys, after all.

She sulked, waiting for him to finish, for everyone to leave, and the door to close behind Missy, who smirked at her knowingly.  She cocked her head at her best friend, appalled she would think such things.  Who am I kidding, she knows us too well.

Jon glanced over at her across the conference room table.  She didn’t like coming to the main offices here at the tower in downtown Kings Landing, she preferred the darkness of her lair in the Dragonpit.  “I think that went well,” he said, closing his laptop.  “And we’ve secured the generous donation from Olenna too.”  He scowled.  “I’ll have to thank Robb for that one.  No doubt he convinced Margaery to convince her.”

“Hmm.”

“Before I forget, we have Arry’s school play tonight.”  He beamed, proud father that he was.  “She’s so excited, she gets to play Aegon the Conqueror.”

“Hmm.”

He glanced sideways, brow furrowing.  “What’s your problem?  You’ve been bratty all afternoon.”

“Do you ever get sick of the sound of your own voice?” she snapped.  She couldn’t explain why she was just so testy. Her mood had been shifting so rapidly lately.  Nothing made her happy.  Everything pissed her off.  She’d fucking cried when Jorah had to stop the car this morning because a fucking deer jumped across the road.

He drew back, lip curling, wolf-like.  “Do you?”

“No.”

He pushed his laptop and folders aside, drawing himself up, walking around the edge of the table, advancing on her.  “You’ve been pissy.  You want me to make you feel better?”

“You can’t,” she huffed; she wasn’t sure why.  She crossed her legs, her heel dangling off her foot.  She scowled up at him.  He was part of the problem; he couldn’t make her feel better.  Looking the way he looked.  Talking the way he talked.  She slouched further in her seat.  

“I bet I can.”

She eyed him.  “Oh?”

“Hmm,” it was his turn to murmur.  He reached up for his tie, loosening it.  He slipped his jacket off, neatly hanging it on an opposite chair and yanked off the tie.  He set it down over the jacket.  In his crisp black shirt and suspenders, he looked good enough to eat.  He smiled again, wolfish, and knelt in front of her.  He pushed her knees apart.  “I think I can.”

“Prove it,” she sneered.  

His fingers danced along her legs, reaching under her skirt.  He snapped her garters, the clasps stinging her bare skin.  She shivered but gave him no satisfaction.  He leaned down, kissing the inside of her calf, slowly stroking along the underside of her legs.  “You were like this last night too,” he murmured, his gray eyes fixed on hers, unblinking.  “Care to share?”

“No,” she pouted.  It was so stupid and she hated herself for feeling like such a foolish girl.  She sniffed at him.  “Are you going to get to it?”

“My, my, my, the dragon really is upset.”

“Put your tongue to good use then and stop talking.”

So he did.  It was never the same, she would give him that much, sliding in the chair as he teased her.  That tongue of his should come with a warning label, perhaps even a patent on it.  She needed to trademark it.  She wasn’t sure how he did it, his fingers tight on the insides of her thighs, holding her apart, one of her legs hiked up and resting on the table, the other over the arm of the chair, one heel off and the other scraping atop the glass tabletop.  She grabbed hold of her knee, for something to hold, to dig her fingers into, while her other hand clutched his curls.  She babbled in Valyrian, almost begging him, but staved off—he knew what those words meant, and she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.  

“Jon,” she exclaimed, when he edged off of her, she cried, tears trickling down the corners of her eyes, furious with herself.  He toyed with her, over and over, almost to the brink before he rocked back on his heels, licked his lips like the wolf finishing his dinner, and then dove back in again.  When his fingers joined, she couldn’t handle it, fucking his hand and riding at his face, almost slipping clear off the chair to the floor.

He moaned against her cunt, working her over, jaw moving as he suckled her clit and fucked her with his tongue, drinking up all her desire for him, and crooking his fingers along her silken walls, searching along the nerves for the ones that would send her flying.  He certainly did, her climax hard, brutal, and smothering out any sound she could make, her eyes clenched shut as she came.  

Then the tears came, but she didn’t know why.  She slipped right off the chair into his arms, sobbing against him.  “I hate you,” she mumbled into his shirt, wiping her eyes with the lapels.  “And I don’t know why, because I love you too.”

He gathered her in his arms, kissing her hair.  “I love you too, you’re just tired, come on.  You’re working too hard.”

She sniffed, attributing the strange mix of her emotions to that.  He helped her up, back into her shoes, her stockings shoved into the pocket of his suit jacket.  She leaned against him, her knees a little wobbly still.  “You proved it,” she mumbled, trying not to smile.  

He smirked.  “Thought I did.”

They left the conference room, Tyrion giving her a disgusted look, while Missandei just shook her head.  Her best friend walked with them, passing her a small shopping bag.  “I took the liberty of stopping at the drugstore and picking you up something…might make you feel better.”

“Thanks Missy.”  Dany didn’t think much of it, until they got home.  She wondered what it was.  Just some aspirin?  She opened the bag, staring into it, eyes wide.  Oh fuck.

Several minutes later, she stared at the object in her hand.  She smiled to herself, tears trickling down her face.  She hadn’t allowed herself to think it again.  Just in case…well…in case it happened again.  Why did they call this?  A rainbow baby, she thought with a watery smile, her hand pressing to her belly.  She took a deep breath and towed the test away, going to lay down.  She had to think about some things.  And they had a play to attend.

That night, after tucking Arry in, she went back to her room, Jon taking off his watch and sitting on the edge of the bed.  “She go down easy?  She was exhausted.”

“Hmm.”  She crawled across their big bed to him, kissing his shoulder, whispering.  “I love you.”

He smirked.  “Yeah?  What’d you say to me earlier?  Prove it.”

“Oh I think I can.”  She reached for the nightstand and took out the box, leaning over and dropping it into his hands.  

It took him a moment to realize what it was.  He whipped his head up, eyes wide, smile beaming.  “Really?”

“Really,” she giggled, pulling him down onto her.  “Now prove to your baby mama that you love me, Jon Snow.”

He laughed, kissing her hard.  “Oh I certainly will.”

[milkshakekitty]

Little By Little

Little by little, Sour Bill found himself warming up to the new president he found under his care. And little by little, with the help of her confectionery vice president, Vanellope learned how life in her new (old?) home worked

Two drabbles ft poor Sour Bill trying to teach Van basic life skills since y'know, she was pretty much a hobo for her whole life

The idea for this is @pixlexic-president 's, I just loved it so much I had to write it out lol

"I am beat," Vanellope yawned. She'd won a race, killed a cybug king and regained the throne she never even knew she had all in one day, and now the new president was more than ready for a good long rest.

"I'll take you to your bedroom, Madam President," Sour Bill said, eager to have at least a few quiet hours away from the hyperactive child he suddenly found in his care.

"My...bedroom?"

He nodded silently.

"There's a whole room just for the bed?" Vanellope asked incredulously.

"Mmhm."

"Weird."

They walked for what felt like forever through the endless corridors of the castle- her castle, she had to keep reminding herself, until they reached a huge graham cracker door.

"Here it is," he said simply, opening the foreboding door and gesturing into the large dark room behind it.

"Wow," she said, barely above a whisper.

The bedroom was huge, almost too big for the new princessident to take in.

"This is all mine?"

"Mmmhm."

"And this is my bed?" she marveled at the huge canopy bed, covered in plush pillows and fluffy blankets.

The sour ball hummed again.

"Wow."

Vanellope hopped up onto the enormous bed.

And hopped again.

And again.

And again.

"I thought you were tired," Sour Bill said irritably.

"I am," she agreed, plopping down on the mattress, "But this bed is way bouncier than my old one back-"

"...home," the child said, much quieter as her grin slowly faded.

Despite having had to live in a volcano of all places, Vanellope had grown fond of the little ramshackle home she'd built herself so many years ago.

And after such a crazy adventure, such a huge change in her life, she began to miss the simple, familiar comfort of curling up in her little sponge cake bed, wrapping herself up like the little homeless lady she was in her candy wrapper blankets. She knew it was kind of silly, to miss her old life when her new home was so amazing.

But she couldn't shake it.

Sour Bill, despite how apathetic he appeared, could sense the child's mixed feelings.

So he left.

And in spite of the fact that the sour ball definitely wasn't the most comforting presence in the world, even his company was better than being alone in the overwhelmingly huge room.

Vanellope looked around as if she were lost. She guessed she kind of was, in a weird way.

The castle was so big, so silent. She felt like she was the only one in this huge place.

Diet Cola Mountain was never quiet. There was always the constant bubbling of the hot springs, the occasional booming sound of mentos falling into the lava.

Here it was just...quiet.

Unbearably quiet.

But just as Vanellope felt like she couldn't take the suffocating silence for another second, Sour Bill returned, a glass in his hand.

"Milk?" the kid asked.

He nodded, wordlessly offering it to her.

"Uh, ok," she took a sip. It was warm.

Strange, she thought, but kinda nice.

A few sips later she set the empty glass on the dainty little bedside table.

She had to admit, that'd helped ease her anxieties. More tired than ever, Vanellope rubbed her eyes, but found herself still a little nervous at the thought of sleeping completely alone in this too big room.

"Sour Bill?"

"Mmmhm?"

"Will you...stay with me?" she asked softly.

He looked at her for a moment.

"It's just that I- well...I know it's silly but..."

"...if I go to sleep I might- I just," she fumbled with the words.

"I don't...wanna wake up back in the mountain."

Even though she kind of missed it, Diet Cola Mountain was a sort of bittersweet symbol of her old life, her life as a glitch.

Of course the candy knew that it wasn't possible for her to revert back to that life. But Vanellope was a child, and as he well knew, sometimes children weren't all that rational.

Especially when they'd lived in an active volcano for a decade and a half.

"Mmmhm," he hummed simply.

"Really?" she asked. She honestly didn't think he'd agree.

He nodded and, maybe her tired eyes were playing tricks on her, but Vanellope could swear she saw the smallest semblance of a smile on his face.

She smiled, and he pulled back the plush covers for her to get under.

"Wow," she marveled quietly, her eyes starting to droop, "It's so soft."

"Mmmhm," he agreed, amused.

"I could get used to this," she sighed contentedly, snuggling into the comforter.

Just as her eyes drifted closed, Sour Bill turned the bedside lamp off, only to be stopped by a small protest from his half-asleep charge.

Vanellope sat up, looking slightly worried as she peered around the darkened room.

"Can you...turn the light back on?" she asked, her voice small.

He looked at her a bit oddly before he realized that, having lived in a bright bubbling volcano, Vanellope had probably never slept in the dark before.

Sour Bill felt the tiniest twinge of guilt. It was probably unnerving for the child to suddenly be expected to sleep in a pitch dark room.

The candy hummed an affirmative, switching the lamp back on.

As the soft amber glow lit the room once again, the little president relaxed, laying back down in her nest of blankets.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, letting her eyes close once again, the exhausted new racer falling asleep almost immediately.

He stayed by her side for a few minutes more, until he was sure she was soundly sleeping and wouldn't wake up and worry at finding him gone before taking his leave.

Sour Bill had never known a child who could be so annoying, so rash, so impulsive and infuriating and an overall pain in his rear. And he had certainly never had to show someone what a bedroom was before.

But he was starting to think Vanellope was growing on him.

Just the tiniest bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Billy Boy!" Vanellope chirped.

"I do wish you'd quit calling me that," Sour Bill complained, but it fell on deaf ears.

"I uh, got all turned around," she spun in a circle, lost, "Where's King Crappy's garden?"

The sour ball looked at her incredulously.

King Candy- er, Turbo, used to retreat to his garden for a peaceful moment away from the energetic game and the child racers that inhabited it.

But the new president really didn't seem like the peaceful type. In fact, it didn't even seem like Vanellope and peaceful belonged in the same sentence, unless you were saying that Vanellope was a destroyer of all that was peaceful.

So he couldn't help but show his surprise at her question.

"Why?"

"Jeez cough drop, do I ask you for the details when you gotta do your business?!"

His eyes widened.

"President Vanellope, we have plenty of bathrooms."

"What? What's a...bathroom?" she looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

Oh mod. Of course she didn't know what a bathroom was, she'd lived in a volcano for fifteen years.

He sighed.

"I'll show you."

"Uh, ok," she shrugged, "But I don't really get why you'd need some bathroom when you've got a perfectly good garden out there."

He tried not to think too much about that.

They walked for a bit, Vanellope looking around in awe as the candy led her down the endless hallways he knew by heart.

"This has been a nice walk and all," the kid piped up after a few minutes, the longest she'd been quiet since arriving at the castle.

"But I kinda haveta- ahh!" she yelped, tripping on Sour Bill, who'd abruptly stopped in a small doorway.

"We're here," he said simply.

"Oh," she wandered inside, looking as if she'd never in her life seen such a strange room.

She hadn't, Sour Bill reminded himself.

She stared at the bathtub, the toilet, the sink, and had nearly jumped out of her skin when upon curiously turning the handles, water came out.

Vanellope was gazing curiously at her bewildered reflection in the mirror when she spoke again.

"Sooo, is this...chair where you-"

"Mmmhm," he finished her question before she'd even finished it.

"Mmkay," she said skeptically.

"And then you push this," he flushed it, making her jump.

"Woah."

"Oh ok!" she chirped.

"Now out!" she laughed, shoving him out of the room.

The sour ball stood beside the door for a few minutes, tapping his jelly bean foot impatiently.

When he heard the toilet flush he expected her to return to what had become her favorite hobby- incessantly pestering him.

But then he heard another flush.

And another.

And another.

Only Vanellope could be entertained by flushing a toilet. He rolled his eyes.

After a few more minutes of this, he had his hand on the doorknob, about to ask if she was planning on missing the roster race to play with the flusher when-

"Hiya!" the door abruptly opened, the young president apparently having finally gotten bored with all the wonders of the bathroom.

Sour Bill startled, falling and rolling on the smooth floor.

"Oh, sorry," she apologized sheepishly, helping him stand back up.

"Hey Billy Boy-" Vanellope said as they continued on their way, earning an eyeroll.

"You never answered my question. Where's the garden at?"

He paused, "But President Vanellope-"

"Relax, Thour Bill," she laughed, imitating the "king's" lisp, "I just wanna find a buttload of gummy worms to put in Taffyta's kart."

"Oh," he sighed.

"I'll show you."

She giggled excitedly, "I can't wait to see the look on her face!"

Sour Bill knew he should probably try to talk her out of this. It would be the responsible thing to do, as Vanellope's vice president.

But he couldn't deny that Taffyta kind of deserved gummy worms in her kart. Plus he kind of wanted to see the look on her face too.

[typicalmidnightsoul]

#7 boarding school au. Please make it fluffy I can't handle angst.

I am so sorry this took so long anon<3 <3 Hope you enjoy this fluffy ass fic!

(Ps I made an edit because I love this fic so much)

Prompt list here

Send me prompts here

Prompt 7:

Boarding School Au

Everyone was back from the Easter holidays at The Prythian Boarding school, and Nesta well… was trying to return the books she had borrowed from the library. As she was putting them back on the shelf, her foot wobbled on the ladder. Big hands gripped her waist giving her support and she grabbed onto the shoulder of the man beneath her.

She smirked at the roguishly handsome face that looked up at her,

“Such a co-incidence that as I am about to fall my knight in shining armour rescues me.”

He winked at her, “I sensed a damsel in distress can you blame me?”

She trotted down the ladder, her perfect figure resembling the beauty of a nymph.

He slid his arm down hers, clasping her hand, intertwining their fingers and pulled her against him.

“I missed you.”

“We saw each other for my birthday in the holidays.”

“That was only for 3 days the rest of the 11 days you weren’t there.” He pouted.

“Cass-“

He pulled her between the stacks, his hand travelling up the hem of her skirt-

“Oh god, you two seriously?!”

Azriel was there his hand covering his eyes,

Nesta chuckled as Cassian growled, “You prick.”

“You would think that 3 days in the holiday would keep you at bay brother.”

Cassian shot him an incredulous look, “Are you on drugs? Do you think I bent her over the table in front of her mom or fuck her in her dad’s study?”

Nesta flicked him off.

“Her mom loves you.”

“Literally.” Nesta agreed with Az she pushed out of Cassian’s embrace and went up to Az.

“How’s my favourite Knight Brother doing?” Az chuckled wrapping his arms around her,

“Now that I’ve seen Cass’ hand up your skirt? I’ve been better.” She laughed her eyes flicking up to her boyfriend.

“I’ll see you later baby, I promised Audrey and Clare I’d meet them in our rooms. Luna’s not here yet so we were gonna call her.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and Az’s cheek and left.

Cassian eyed his brother, “You owe me for walking in on us and stealing my girlfriend.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, “What do you want?”

Cassian smirked, “Let’s go find Rhysie first.”

---------

Nesta walked through the hallway with Clare, Auj and Luna.

“Update?” She asked.

“Ianthe and Tamlin are going out.” Auj supplied earning gasps from everyone in the group.

“Well any relationship I thought I could salvage with him is out of the window. Anything else?”

Being the Queens of their boarding school took work and their friendship group was solid. One of the reasons why anyone male or female found it difficult to reach to any of them was because of the wall their impenetrable friendship group made. When Cassian had first saw interest in Nesta she had thought the shock from the fact that his arch enemy Eris was in her group would keep him away, but no. He relented and when he made Eris’ relationship with him civil it broke Nesta’s illusion that she wasn’t worth any effort at all.

They made their way to class, everyone was settling down. As she sat down next to Cresseida, she leaned over to Nesta,

“We have a new teacher for fencing Nes, words going round that no-one has been able to impress him.”

“Well then he hasn’t met me yet has he?”

“That’s the spirit Nessie.”

“Shut it Cress salad.”

 As they were well into class, they had a well…disturbance.

Nesta was focussed not bothering to look up when there was a knock on the door, until she heard:

“Madame there is a fight brewing outside and we’d like your assistance.”

Her head snapped and she groaned. Clare snickered behind her and Nesta batted her hand at her.

Madame Cooper huffed and followed Az outside the classroom. Rhysand stood watch and Cassian jogged up to Nesta.

“Hey sweetie.”

“Cass, who’s fighting-“

“You’ll find out later.”

“OK, why are you here?”

“I missed you.” And with no further warning he took her lips in his earning cheers from the whole class. She let herself indulge in it even with the 30 or so eyes looking at them.

He pulled away reluctantly, “Oh and to give you this-“ he handed her a note, “and just as a warning you’re meeting my mom this weekend. She’s already talked to your mom.”

Nesta gaped her eyes going wide, “Your MO-“

Rhys peered back into the classroom, “Dude, she’s on her way back.”

“No time sweetie,” He cupped her cheeks kissing her again.

“Don’t go picking fights just because you have a free period.” She said as he moved away.

He smirked moving away and leaning against the doorway.

Madame Cooper came in and was startled at the sight of Rhys and Cassian at the door.

“What are you boys still doing here?”

“Keeping an eye on your class Madame,” Cassian replied, “and they were all well-behaved except the pretty girl over there.” He gestured at Nesta, “very naughty that one, very naughty, you should keep an eye on her.”

Madame Cooper rolled her eyes, “It seems like you’re the one I should keep an eye on Cassian since you have a particular person’s lipstick stain on your lips.”

Nesta pointed out the place where her lipstick had indeed stained him.

He rubbed that spot, the stain now on his fingers,

He showed it to the teacher, “See Madame, very naughty.”

She laughed saying, “All right, boys go now let me teach my class.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Nesta chuckled, trying to open the note in secrecy without everyone peering over, one growl from Luna had them all minding their own business.

 Date night tomorrow?

I know school only lets us come back at 10pm but we’ll make the most of it.

When classes cross over you can tell me them.

Cresseida snatched it out of her hand and passed it around to the girls, Nesta was too freaked out to notice. She was meeting his mom for fucks sake.

 ---------

One more manoeuvre and their new teacher in fencing was out. Nesta took off her mask, her hair flourishing around her shoulders, her teacher did so too,

He panted, looking at her with awe, “It has been a long time since a student has been able to defeat me.”

Nesta bowed her head in thanks.

“Where did you learn?”

“My mother, she was a fencing champion. You might know her as Adelaide Donahue.”

He put a hand over his mouth, “The Adelaide Donahue. Good Lord it has been an eternity since I have heard of any news of her, how is she?”

Nesta hesitated, “As well as she can be.”

He nodded looking over at the class, “Well, I must not keep you all here to myself, you have tennis next correct? Well, then off you go.”

As Nesta and Luna came out of the changing rooms talking about how abhorrent it was that Ianthe was dating bloody Tamlin, Luna gave her a smirk and nudged her disappearing down the hall with a,

“Hey future brother-in-law.”

“Hello future sister-in-law.”

Nesta rolled her eyes, “What?”

Cassian turned, “So what’s your answer?”

“Need you ask? It’s what it’s always going to be. Cassian pulled her closer his hands skimming over the short tennis skirt over her ass.

“I’m partial to you in this.”

“Hm. You’re partial to me in anything.”

“True.”

“What do you have now?”

“Baseball, I’ll be watching you from the field.” She flicked his nose,

“We might wanna go then.”

“Right you are.”

But his hands stayed on her waist; he dropped his head breathing her scent in.

“Ah is this the lucky man?”

Nesta peered behind him as he turned; it was Mr Michaels the fencing teacher.

“Hello Mr Michaels,” She said.

“Hello Nesta,” He held out his hand to Cassian “and you are?”

“Cassian, Nesta’s boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, you both should get along to class,” he chuckled.

“Uh yeah,” Cassian said as Nesta pulled him along,

“Bye Mr Michaels.”

----------------

They were in their dorms before dinner for the compulsory 90 minutes study period they had to do either before or after dinner. Audrey and Nesta shared a dorm with Luna and Clare and Cresseida next door.

“I can’t believe Elain is coming next here next year.” Audrey said from her bed,

“Yeah,” Nesta said chucking her chocolate wrapper in the bin.

“Hey, do you know what the answer for 6 is?”

“It’s option B…” She paused, “Bro the back is so hard.”

“THE BACK?!” Audrey cried covering her face with her hands.

Clare had obviously heard them from next door because cries and shouts of outrage came before all three came into Nesta’s dorm.

“We thought we were done! And then we heard you say ‘the back.’” Luna grumbled.

“We told you to come study with us in here anyway,” Nesta chuckled,

“Shut up,” Cresseida snarled, dropping their textbooks and papers and settling down on the bean bags, furry rug and Nesta’s bed.

They were well into trying to figure out the back of their sheets when they heard a crash from outside,

“Shit, Rhys just take the ladder from Helion,”

“This is too dangerous Cass!” Azriel hissed.

“Why are we doing this?!”

Nesta and the girls came to the balcony,

“I agree with Az,” Nesta hissed, “Why are you doing this?!”

Cassian climbed up the ladder, “Hey sweetheart, I missed you”

“Shut up Cass, you can’t tell me that you dragged your whole team here to tell me you missed me!”

“I did ok?” She glared at him, “Ok fine, we need the answers for the paper.”

“Pretty please,” Helion called frown down below.

“No idiots!” Clare shouted, “We still need Nesta’s answers. And if you take Nesta’s paper what is she going to show the matron?”

“Couldn’t you just text me?” Nesta asked.

“No,” Rhys said, “Because we cheated from Thesan in the last paper and our matron found out so for this paper we had our phones taken away and we don’t know shit and if we fail this one we don’t get a green card so we won’t be able to go out.”

“UGH! Does this mean if you fail our dates cancelled?” Nesta asked.

Cassian nodded.

Audrey had an idea, “Ok just wait while I copy out all the answers on a different sheet then you can take the sheet and copy off it there.”

They all started praising Audrey, who just exchanged a glance with Nesta that said, “Boys.”

While Audrey was copying down the answers with Cassian telling her what answers they needed, Clare heard a noise outside,

“IT’S THE MATRON GUYS!”

Helion thought quickly, “It will take too much time if Cass climbs down so hide him in your room and we’ll hide down here.”

Cassian grinned at Nesta who growled and told him to hide under her bed. The door opened, “Hello girls,” She called out, “Need any help?” They shook their heads, Nesta noticed Cassian’s hand poking out and subtly stepped on it. He hissed.

The Matron looked at them, “Who was that?”

Luna clutched her stomach, “Ugh it was me madam, period cramps you know.”

The Matron shook her head, “If you need any painkillers Luna do come to my office.”

Luna nodded.

“So girls how are you getting on, on your first day back?”

“Well.” They all muttered

“Now Nesta I know you follow the rules but I need to tell you and any of the other girls if they’re dating a boy that no boy is allowed in your dorm without my permission.”

Nesta wanted to throw Cassian out of the window.

“Of course, Madam.”

She smiled, “All right then, girls dinner is in 20 minutes.”

She went out and down to the dorm in the next hall.

Cassian climbed out underneath her bed and looked at Audrey

“Please tell me you have the sheet.”

Audrey nodded, “I finished while the Matron was talking.”

She handed him the sheet, “Thanks.” He turned to leave.

“One would think you would also say thank you to the person who provided the answers.” Nesta crossed her arms.

He turned around with a wolfish grin, “Oh sweetheart, I am replaying you back in full tomorrow night.” He nipped her earlobe ad Cresseida gagged,

“Get a fucking room, you two!”

Rhys screamed from down below, “Cassian we have about 4 minutes till Matron notices we’re gone.”

Cassian slid down the ladder in speed and the girls watched as all the boys charged back to their dorms.

--------------------

Their date was…perfect.

Thank god she’d let them copy off her work.

She stripped out of her uniform and wore her red top and matching skirt for dinner. She would never understand why in hell they had to all be present for dinner.

She sat down dropping her head on Luna’s shoulder,

“Nes this dinner is great.”

Nesta mumbled while Audrey started shoving in various items in her mouth.

Cassian came from his table from the 3rd years table and wedged himself between Audrey and Nesta.

“I have news for you ladies,” He said pecking Nesta’s lips.

Nesta perked up, “What news?”

“Ianthe’s preggo.”

Clare spit out her drink on Cresseida, who was too shocked to notice.

Nesta however was sceptical, “And how do you know this?”

“Lucien accidentally blurted it out.”

Nesta gasped, playfully hitting Cassian, “Liar.”

He shook her head, “Mum’s life I promise.”

Luna giggled maliciously, “Nes can we go and congratulate her? Please!!”

Nesta pursed her lips even though her eyes were glittering, “Fine, but we must not go overboard. You guys coming?” Audrey, Cress and Clare shook their heads. Unlike Nesta and Luna they had shame.

“Damn baby, let me go tell the guys so all eyes are on you.”

Luna grinned at Nesta as Cassian left.

Luna and Nesta went to Ianthe who turned from giggling with her followers.

“Oooo, how can we help you today Nesta and Luna?” Her voice was always so sickeningly calm, Nesta had hated Ianthe since the second she baited her out to their professor and Nesta got a suspension for something she did. Not to mention sexually harassing Lucien and as much as she disliked him, he was Eris’ brother.

That rage was coming out, “Just wanted to congratulate you on being a teenage mom.”

“I bet you’re fully Catholic Christian sisters will approve.” Luna seethed.

“Shut up bitch just because you two are unfuckable.”

Luna took a step forward and Nesta held her back.

“The real question is not if we’re unfuckable or not,” Nesta called out her latina side, “la verdadera pregunta es si te llamo puta o perra?”

 Luna mouthed the translation to the rest of the canteen,

The real question is do I call you a whore or a bitch?

The boys started hooting while the girls started squealing.

Ianthe didn’t have full latino heritage but she was fluent in Spanish.

Ianthe growled in her face, “Escucha perra-“

“No you did not just call my girlfriend a bitch.” Cassian wrapped his arms around Nesta’s waist and leaned on her shoulder.

“You’re girlfriend just called mine a bitch,” Tamlin said coming next to her.

Audrey stepped in between them, “Now let’s not get over excited.”

Ianthe’s eyes turned to Nesta, “I may be a whore but at least I wasn’t walked out on by my own fucking dad, I wonder Nesta, how many times has Audrey been walked out on? Has the numbers gone up or down since her fiancé left her?” She seethed.

Nesta took one look at Audrey’s face and flung Cassian off punching Ianthe in the nose.

Blood poured. And Ianthe scratched Nesta with her nails, Nesta happily returning the favour, Luna and Audrey got in the fight as two of Ianthe’s followers got in too. Azriel and Thesan got up and hauled Luna and Audrey to the other side of the canteen hall while Cassian hauled Nesta.

Tamlin made a whole show of calling Ianthe his baby and his everything handing her tissues.

“Cass, you need to take Nesta out of here and get her patched up.” Azriel advised, passing Luna water.

Cassian nodded and guided Nesta out of the canteen and into the medical ward, he got out the first aid kit.

Nesta looked at his rage filled features, “Are you mad at me?”

He shook his head.

“Say something, please.”

Cassian sighed, “My dad walked out on me too, so what she said…”

Nesta put a hand on his cheek, “I think you can see the reason why I want to kill her.”

He scowled, “But you hurt yourself.”

She laughed, “I think we can both admit that she has had much more damage done to her.”

He laughed as well, “Let’s take our mind off her.”

“Are you ready to meet my mom?”

She winced, “I won’t ever be ready.”

He came closer to her, “I wanted it done as soon as possible.”

“Why?” She asked on his lips.

“I wanted her to meet the woman I will one day marry, the woman who will carry her grandchildren.”

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Not yet but act surprised when I do.”

“I will always be surprised that out of all the girls in this school you chose me.”

“As will I that you picked me,” but before he put his lips down on her he added, “But you shouldn’t be.”

They kissed slow and sweet and that’s how the school nurse found them later.

Tags:  

@skychild29

@aesthetics-11

@perseusannabeth

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Winter Fest Day 2: Ornament

Wherein there is a tree, of a sort, and the start of a new tradition.

(Also on Ao3).

The Lans didn’t celebrate Christmas for the most part. Outside of a few adjacent-Lans and some married-ins, they weren’t Christian. They did try to incorporate as many holidays as they could for their vast student body over the winter break. And living in America it was impossible not to be slapped in the face by everything Christmas even before Thanksgiving, but Lan Xichen had never had a Christmas tree inside his house until now. Or a wreath on his door for that matter, but he’d come home to a package from L.L. Bean yesterday containing a live wreath. Sent from Madame Yu. He took it as her approval, but part of him still wondered if it was some sort of pine-scented threat.

The Jiangs weren’t Christian either, but Madame Yu loved the holiday. Almost notoriously loved it. Her normal understated classic taste apparently disappeared as soon as December hit. Xichen had seen the pictures. The woman loved multi-colored, borderline garish, Christmas decorations. And her children had grown up with that tradition. He’d seen the small tree Jiang Cheng kept his condo. Xichen wanted him to have that here as well. 

So last night he went to the local grocer and bought one of the trees they sold. It was just a little one in a pretty gold pot that could be planted once the season was over. It came with its own packet of ornaments, but Xichen frowned down at them. They were too generic, not personal, and Xichen had purchased this <i>for</i> someone.

He looked over at the cats who were staring at him from their window-seat beds. 

“I’m going to need to go shopping, aren’t I?” he asked.

Nutmeg just turned her back on him and started licking herself, but Pepper trilled and came over to him. She hopped from the floor to the chair to the counter. She rubbed up against his hand, ran her face there, once, twice, then sat back and with one her massive paws, knocked the tiny pack of ornaments to the ground.

“Clearly someone has an opinion,” he said. He still dropped a kiss on her head and fished out a treat for her. 

He already planned to go out for a tiny set of lights, he could easily find some ornaments as well.

*********

“If you get him a bunch of fancy-ass ornaments, he’s going to get pissy. We can just go to Target.”

“We will go to Target,” Xichen said to his best friend. “And quench your apparent thirst for a, what do they call it, Target Run. But first, I’d like to try and support a small business.”

Nie Mingjue sighed. “I can’t even make fun of you for that.This is why they want you to run for mayor.”

“I’m very happy as headmaster,” Xichen said as he pushed opened the wooden door of Mountains and Mole Hills. 

“Do you at least have a theme?” Mingjue asked. He unconsciously hunched his broad shoulders, trying to make himself smaller in the small, overpacked store. 

It was very much like trying to watch a bull tiptoe through a Christmas-themed china shop.

“Animals, nature, and the like,” Xichen said. “But...natural looking. I want it to be unique to us.”

“Holy shit, you’re going to make him a dog themed christmas tree,” Mingjue said. 

“Not just dogs,” Xichen said. “Birds too. Deers. And cats. Maybe.”

Mingjue grabbed something and put it in their basked. Xichen said nothing as he spotted the small, cloth fox.

“Not a fucking word,” Mingjue said as he put a wolf and a pig in there too.

“Don’t you need one for Xuanyu as well?”

Mingjue looked around the store. “Do you think they have unicorns?”

“Go,” Xichen said, waving him off. 

He wandered over to the wall of ornaments, looking for something that grabbed him. Despite what the’d told Mingjue, he really didn’t have a theme. The tree wasn’t that big, so he didn’t need that many, but he wanted something for them. 

A collection of agate ornaments caught his eye, so he selected one purple and one blue. Predictable, yes, but it was still them. A badger in a scarf, for their Hufflepuff jokes. A cabin ornament for Maine. None of the cat ornaments quite represented their cats, so he just grabbed the cutest one, same with the dog ornaments. Lastly he grabbed a small collection of mini ornaments. He looked over his basket and nodded in approval at what he’d collected. 

He found Mingjue with a stuffed unicorn under one arm and a set of his own ornaments.

“Not a single fucking word,” he hissed as Xichen smiled at him. 

**********

Xichen was just shutting down his computer for the weekend when the familiar commotion that signaled the start of his weekend began outside his office. 

“How is she extra fluffy today?” Maria asked.

“Just picked her up from the groomers,” Jiang Cheng said.

“And look at her little bow!” Ali said.

“She smells sweet too!” Maria said.

Xichen laughed to himself as he pulled on his coat and scarf. He closed and locked his office and joined the group gathered around Sugar.

“Hey, babe,” Jiang Cheng said, giving him a quick, soft kiss. The best kiss to start the weekend. One that promised more.

“Good afternoon, my love,” he said. 

“Cats didn’t kill you, I see,” Jiang Cheng said.

“They’ve been perfectly well behaved,” Xichen said.

They had to have a discussion about the orchids and Xichen had to google how to keep cats away from an area that involved him having to figure out how to make a peppermint spray, but they’d all survived in the end, even with the overwhelming smell of peppermint. It was festive, he supposed. 

“You’re such a bad liar,” Jiang Cheng said.

“They’ve been mostly well behaved,” he corrected. 

After they pulled Sugar away from her admirers, Xichen relaxed for the drive home, his hand reaching back between the seats to scratch Sugar’s head. Such a small part of his weekend, but one of the best parts. 

At the house they let Sugar run free and Jiang Cheng went to greet his cats. Xichen lingered in the foyer as he took off his shoes, coat, and scarf. He lingered and waited and was soon rewarded.

“Xichen?”

His boyfriend’s voice sounded soft, tremulous, in awe. 

Xichen smiled to himself. A job well done then.

Xichen wrapped his arms around Jiang Cheng’s waist. He was frozen in front of the tree, Nutmeg cradled in his arms. 

“I figured,” Xichen said, kissing the soft skin behind Jiang Cheng’s ear. “I figured we could have our own tradition. We’ll plant this one when the season’s over, or when the ground is soft enough, and get another one next year. And the year after that, and so on and so forth. And then one day, when we’re old and grey, we’ll look out our bedroom window and see the roots of our personal forest.

A shudder went through Jiang Cheng. He carefully placed Nutmeg down and turned in his arms.

“I love you so fucking much,” Jiang Cheng said.

“I love you too,” Xichen said. 

Xichen was all for making new traditions, their own traditions. And he was happy to start here, in their kitchen, with their pets around them, and a tree representing years to come beside them. 

[survivingthejungle]

soft; jerome x reader

ive never written anything this fluffy in my god damn life... hopefully its not a complete flop? idk

You hadn’t committed a crime.

Regardless of whatever conclusion the jury had come to, you would always maintain that you hadn’t committed a crime. Because, what crime is there in justice?

One of the men who had tried to assault you had just been a little too lazy with his knife, and in a moment of instinctual self-defence, you had pushed it back in on himself.

Unfortunately for you, the other man—the one who hadn’t been stabbed—had managed to pay off the jury to convict you of first degree murder, and the only way you would avoid going to straight-up prison would be taking the insanity plea.

You fought it—oh, how you fought it, tooth-and-nail— but in the end, you and your family didn’t have the resources, and the corrupt rich of Gotham once again won the day. The playout of your hearing had caused outrage throughout the city, and no one believed that you deserved to go to an asylum, but the public backlash surrounding your conviction still was not enough to get the decision overturned.

Some of the staff at Arkham were sympathetic to your case and did all they could to treat you like the normal girl you were, not like one of the truly mentally-ill patients who were there for good reason. Of course, not every staff member was this accommodating— Dr. Strange had been wanting to use you as an guinea pig for a while now. The only thing keeping him from doing so was your family’s constant visits and the fact that he couldn’t be sure that the nurses and guards who knew you and your story wouldn’t rebel against him.

About a month into your incarceration— one down, two to go— there was a change in atmosphere. An unusual burst of activity came about one morning; while you were in your cell, brushing your teeth and washing your face, a handful of guards all stormed past, seemingly guiding someone along with them. You peeked out of the small window on your door, but couldn’t see much aside from the guards and a quick flash of a tuft of bright red hair.

-

To ensure that your safety was never compromised and that all of the staff knew you were no real threat, it had been decided within the Asylum that you were not to wear the same black-and-white striped garments as all of the other inmates. Instead, you had been given a handful of simple, white cotton slips, and you had been allowed to bring some of your own sweaters, shoes, and socks from home. You had been allowed your own pajamas from home, so you decided to bring two pairs of basketball shots, two t-shirts, and a big sweatshirt to sleep in. In addition, yo also brought a handful of your favorite scrunchies and hair clips, and a notebook and pen to keep track of your thoughts and write letters while you were away. To say you stood out like a sore thumb would be an understatement; you didn’t look exactly like an inmate, you certainly didn’t look like staff, and you didn’t look like a normal teenage girl either. You just looked different, and you were okay with that. You were content just keeping to yourself, minding your own business, writing and reading when you had the opportunity, and getting the hell out of this asylum.

Until recently. A new inmate had recently been admitted; around your age, tall, vivid red hair, an unnerving laugh, and arrested on a count of matricide. When they brought him in, he was strapped up in a straight jacket and being wheeled around. He caught sight of you in the rec room and winked, and you, being caught in a trance-like daze, had simply lifted your hand and waved with a straight face. It didn’t help that he was an objectively attractive guy; if you had seen him anywhere outside of an asylum, you probably would’ve heart-eyed him with your friends. But you were in an asylum, the both of you, so you decided to maintain your earlier resolve of keeping to yourself and not interacting with anyone else.

-

The next day, you saw him come into the rec room. You were sitting in an old, worn-out bean bag reading one of the old hand-me-down books from a shelf in the corner. It was Madame Bovary, a title you’d heard repeated many times but never really looked into until now. You were halfway through and so engrossed with the tragic story that you didn’t notice a presence seat itself beside you until you heard a voice speaking.

“Hi gorgeous, I’m Jerome.” It was the redhead from yesterday, grinning at you.

“Hi. That’s not my name,” you responded, pulling your eyes away from him and back to your book.

“Well then, by all means, spill! What can I call you?” His voice was deep but had a childlike lilt, like everything he said was purposefully over-theatrical. He placed his chin on his fist, staring intently at you.

“My name is (Y/N). I don’t really wanna talk to anyone right now, so can you just leave me alone?”

“Jeez, just trying to be polite… Y’know, a girl could really use some friends in a place like this.”

“No, not really. I’m fine how I am. Thanks, though.”

He paused and looked at you quizzically as though he had just noticed something that he hadn’t before. “Hey, how come you don’t wear stripes like the rest of us, huh?”

“Because I’m not like the rest of you. I’m not supposed to be in here.”

“Ugh, believe me, babe, I tried that line too. Didn’t work. C’mon, what’d you do to get in here? Now I’m curious,” he prodded.

You were silent for a moment. Some people had no problem admitting that they had done something like that; in fact, some reveled in it. But you were not the kind of girl who could just openly declare that I killed a man. “...It was self defense.”

“Oh yeah,” he lightly scoffed, “Then how’d you end up here, and not scot-free out there?”

“This is Gotham,” you shot back, “There’s no justice in this city. If a rich man wants a girl locked up, she gets locked up. End of story.”

“Ain’t that the truth, sister.” He let out a sigh and leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head. “Tell me something, though,” he started, staring at you. “Are you being serious?”

“You tell me… I’m already in an asylum. If I was really guilty, I would’ve admitted it by now, right?”

“Huh.” He shook his head, looking away from you. “Huh. You got me there. Well… that sucks for you, doesn’t it?”

“You’re telling me; I’m the one wrongly incarcerated.”

“Hey! That’s perfect! So you really do need a friend in this place, otherwise all the rest of these crazies are gonna eat you up…” he got closer to you before continuing. “Y’know, it’s really not safe for you here if you’re the only sane person. I think we should be friends.”

“If it gets you off my case, then sure, I guess.” A grin lit up his face and he leaned back out of your personal space; he did not, however, show any signs of leaving you alone anytime soon. “Will you leave me alone now, please?” you asked.

“What kind of a friend would I be, leaving you alone out here to fend for yourself? Nah, see, these other guys in here, they’ll do bad things to a pretty girl if she’s all alone. I’m just looking out for you.”

You considered his words for a moment. Although no one had truly tried to harm you yet, you hadn’t been here long. And some of the creepier inmates had been staring you down recently, now that you thought about it… “I’m not gonna, like… talk to you, a lot. I just read a lot. And write. And draw, sometimes. But I’m not a big conversationalist. So if that’s what you wanted from me, you got the wrong girl.”

“Hey, that’s fine by me,” he responded. “You just sit there and look pretty till you get to go home. I’ll be your silent protector.”

Not very silent, you thought. “Why… why do you even wanna be my friend, then? If you’re not looking for someone to talk to… You just wanna ‘help me out’? You’re a wannabe serial killer, you don’t really seem like the kind of guy who tries to help a girl out of the goodness of his heart.”

“What can I say?” he asked you. “I can be unpredictable. And you seemed kinda… Sad. Lonely. I dunno. But a pretty, innocent girl locked up in here shouldn’t have to fend for herself. I may be bad, alright, but I’m not completely souless!” He snickered to himself. “Heh, get it? ‘Cause I’m a ginger.” You let out a soft, breathy laugh at that; one you couldn’t contain. “Hey,” he reached out and nudged your cheek, “There’s that smile. Go on, I’m sorry, read your book. I’ll just chill here… Hangin’ out.”

-

The asylum was particularly chilly today, so you slipped an oversized, washed-out pastel sweater over your dress, as well as a pair of mismatched thick socks. You slid into a pair of plain brown ankle boots with loose laces and clipped two red barrettes into your hair, a yellow scrunchie on your wrist. According to the little red antique clock in your cell, it was nearly eight A.M.— breakfast, which Jerome would always walk down to with you. He always delayed the guards as much as possible before passing your cell, so that you could be escorted down with him.

It had been about two weeks since your first encounter, and while you were initially wary of the prospect of being chummy with a convicted murderer, there was something about him that drew you in. Maybe it was how charming he could be, or how protective he acted of you or how he definitely wasn’t the most unattractive person you’d ever seen, but you weren’t as opposed as you used to be towards being his friend. You heard the sound of struggling increase as it got closer and closer to your door, and you knew it was Jerome come to “pick you up” for the day. You waited at your door, looking out the barred slot as the guards got closer and closer.

“Excuse me? Could I be taken down to breakfast as well?” you asked them, and one with a key ring unlocked your door and let you step outside into the hall.

“Mornin’, (Y/N).” It was Anthony, a guard that you felt you had a good standing with. He was always respectful to you because he had been keeping up with your trial while it was in the news, and he firmly believed that you had done nothing to end up in this place.

“Good morning. How are you?”

“I’m just well, thanks! Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah, I did! Do you know what variation of gruel they’re feeding us today?” Jerome snorted at this. “Hey, Jerome. What’s up?”

“Oh, y’know, not much.”

“Sounds fun.”

-

Breakfast was, in fact, another variation of gruel. You had been given a choice between cinnamon and apple oatmeal, lazily slopped onto a tray before being shoved into your arms with a spoon.

You took a seat at an unoccupied table and began to eat and read— you were rereading Gatsby, now—until Jerome joined you.

“Hey, J,” you greeted him, not looking up from your book.

“Hey there, girlie,” he greets, nudging you when he sits down beside you.  “What’s the plan today?”

“They have me in group today. Something about having to ‘act like we’re making progress’,” you slightly mocked.

Jerome gasped. “Well, hey! Whadaya know? I’m in group today, too!” The possibility that you were not in the same group was slim to none; your proximity in age and the fact that both of your cells were on the same floor meant that in any group setting, you were bound to end up together.

“Have they put you in it before?” you wondered.

“Oh, yeah, once or twice,” he told you, taking another spoonful of oatmeal before continuing. “Don’t be nervous about it. All they do is sit you in a circle and give you pens and paper and have you talk about your feelings and why you killed people.” That was still a touchy subject. You’d never verbally say that you ‘killed’ a person; there was a difference between murder and self-defense, and there was absolutely no way in hell you’d ever be convinced they were the same. Jerome noticed a shift in your attitude. “Well, I mean, you never killed anyone. So I guess you won’t have to participate too much.”

“Yeah, I guess,” you agreed. A burly looking man the approached Jerome, eyeing you all the while.

“Jerome.” He looked up and rolled his eyes at the man.

“Can I help you with something, Greenwood?”

“Yeah. Just wondering when you’re gonna share your little lady friend with the rest of us.” He sat down opposite both of you. “She looks tasty.”

In shock, you couldn’t properly formulate a response to the man’s lewd comments, so while you sat there, eyes fixated on your oatmeal, Jerome took the liberty of speaking up on your behalf. “She’s off limits, pal. Don��t touch her,” he told him, grinning all the while. “Or I’ll flay you and feed you to the rats.”

“Oh, little J’s got himself a girlfriend now, huh? What, you gonna chop her up just like you chopped up your mommy?” Greenwood inched closer and closer to Jerome while taunting him, and your friend was getting visibly aggravated.

His fist clenched and he slammed it on the table. You put your hand over his forearm to draw his attention over to you instead. “Jerome. Stop,” you requested.

“What?” he asked you. “Why me? What about him?”

“Because I know you can be rational,” you told him, maintaining eye contact. “It’s not worth it. Don’t give him the reaction he wants.”

He let out a short breath and turned his attention back to Greenwood. “You know what? She’s right. You’re not worth my foot. Go back to playing with your little dolls, Greenwood,” he taunted, gesturing with his free hand. Greenwood snarled, but got up and walked away anyways. Jerome looked back to you. “Y’know, you’re starting to rub off on me. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be a goody two-shoes just like you!” he joked, snickering. You just rolled your eyes, the ghost of a soft smile on your face.

“Hey,” you warned, “Don’t start getting soft. That’s my thing,” you shot back.

“Yeah, I know,” he smirked at you, catching your hand—the one that was on his forearm—in his. “Jeez, (Y/N), why are you so cold?” he asked you. His hands were exponentially warmer than yours, and you appreciated the heat warming up your own.

“It’s the middle of January and I have terrible circulation. Plus, no one in this place cares enough to turn the heat up.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” he laughed. Then he was putting his head on top of yours, so you leaned your head onto his shoulder.

“What time is it?” You yawned. He told you that it was roughly eight-thirty. “Gross.” Jerome chuckled and gave a murmur of assent. He took his hand out of yours and put his arm around your shoulders instead.

“I’ll wake you up when they make us leave,” he assured you as you closed your eyes, thanking him. Then you were off to sleep again, catching up on all of the hours you had missed since you had been incarcerated. He grabbed your book off of the table and began reading it for himself. He kept one hand lightly trailing through your hand while the other was used to flip the pages until, at 9:20, the nurses came to inform the both of you that it was time for therapy.

-

If someone would’ve asked you what had been discussed in that session, you wouldn’t’ve had a clue. You sat next to your only friend in the place, of course, latching onto the only person you’d truly felt comfortable with since you’d been brought in. The two of you had passed notes back and forth the whole time, decorated with goofy little doodles and cartoons to entertain one another. When Jerome had cracked a joke to you following one of the other inmates’ comments, you could barely suppress your giggle, and you both had ended up making a bit of a scene.

“Jerome. (Y/N). Cut it out,” the therapist had reprimanded you. Jerome just gave her a nod, but you had verbally apologized and promised that it wouldn’t happen again.

A few seconds later, another note was passed onto your lap. SORRY FOR BEING A BAD INFLUENCE, it had read. You flipped it over to respond on the other side.

we balance each other out

like a negative and a positive

-

Two months later, and you were finally free to return to the rest of the world. You were overjoyed; you couldn’t wait to get back to your friends and family. You couldn’t wait to get back to school, something you never thought you’d say to yourself. You were also surprised at how well Jerome had responded when you’d told him that you were finally going home.

“You’ll write to me, right?” he asked you.

“Of course,” you verified.

“And visit?”

“I’ll try my damndest,” you promised.

He had seemed like he was making so much progress when you were around. At least, that’s what the nurses and therapists had all noted. For his own sake, they all secretly wished that you would keep coming back to help him out.

-

After another month, the whole city was erupted into chaos.

There had been some sort of gas leak at Arkham, followed by a breakout; your friend among the escapees. The next time you saw him had been on the T.V. in the midst of attempting to blow up a school bus full of cheerleaders from Gotham High.

You felt your heart break in your chest as you sat on your bed that morning watching the news. You’d really, truly let yourself believe that he wasn’t as bad of a person as the media had portrayed him, especially during his trial. You knew him firsthand! He was such a good friend to you, and was always watching your back. It was hard for you to believe that the boy who passed you notes in therapy and made you laugh all day was the same boy who had just kidnapped and murdered seven dock workers and attempted to blow up a bus full of cheerleaders the same age as him.

But, sadly, this was the reality that you lived in. I guess he really fooled me, huh, you thought to yourself.

Around noon that same day, while watching some documentary on Netflix and sending texts back and forth with one of your best friends, you heard a loud knocking outside of your window. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed, heart nearly leaping out of your chest. When your adrenaline rush finally slowed, you looked to see what had caused the noise, and—

“Holy shit!” Lo and behold; it was none other than Jerome Valeska. He grinned at you, waving emphatically.

“Open up, wouldya?” He spoke through the window. “Let’s catch up!”

You walked over to your windowsill but didn’t open the window, instead choosing to lock it. “Why should I let you into my house, Jerome? I’d be harboring a fugitive. That’s a crime. Just like kidnapping, murder, and arson,” you glared at him. “Why would you do that, J?” you asked, hurt evident in your eyes, even through the glass separating you.

“Let me in, (Y/N), I really wanna talk. You know I’d never hurt you.” You immediately believed him, having to consciously remind yourself that you might’ve been being led into a trap. That was, until he held up a fist and extended his pinky. “I pinky swear.” Damn, the boy knows I love me a good pinky swear. You gave up your resolve and cracked the window just enough to reach your own hand through, locking your fingers together before opening it the rest of the way.

“Okay. Talk,” you told him as he climbed through and stepped into your room. You took a seat on the edge of your bed, and he followed suit.

“This guy, Theo… he’s the one who broke us all out,” Jerome began to explain. “Kinda boring dude. But also kinda cool. He’s like the weird, rich uncle I never had,” he joked, making you crack a small smile. He smiled himself at that, nudging you playfully. “Anyways, he gives this whole speech about how we all have ‘vision’ and ‘talent’ and yada yada yada… So I know he gets me.

“Says he wants us to just go crazy, right? ‘Paint the town red’, other junk like that,” he continued. “The last guy who tried to leave, Sionis… He had him stabbed to death. Right in front of us all.” Your eyes shot up to his, shocked. “I can’t very well follow in his footsteps,” he told you.

“Oh, Jerome… That’s awful. I’m sorry.” You wrapped an arm around his side, implying that you’d mostly forgiven him for what he’d been doing recently. It’s not his fault, you reasoned, he’s scared for his life. “What if I call the cops so they can keep you safe from him? You don’t have to keep hurting people,” you offered.

“No, (Y/N), please don’t,” he begged. “They’ll just send me straight back to Arkham, I don’t wanna go back there, I hate that place—”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I understand. I won’t call anyone. Be safe, though? I mean… try as much as you can to not hurt anyone if you can help it.”

“I will. You were right, y’know. About balancing each other out. I think we make a good pair,” he told you, a smile that looked genuine on his face.

“Best friends,” you offered back. Then you gave him a solid hug, burying your face in his chest.

And you’d never have seen it, but that genuine smile suddenly became cunning and devious once more.  Gotcha...

[lucyreviewcy]

Game of Thrones - S01 E07

In this episode, far too much brothel, Sam and Jon join the brownie guides, Daenerys learns not to talk to strangers, and Sean Bean walks around with a stick a lot. 

So there was just categorically too much brothel in this episode. There was a whole scene that was just two women getting it on while doing exposition about Littlefinger. I really wanted to step through the screen and say, “Excuse me madam, would you mind moaning less, I would like to hear the dialogue.” This scene wasn’t even very interesting. All it did was draw attention to the optimistic body hair stylings of these pseudo-dark ages women. Sure, they hadn’t invented dentistry yet, but shaving your armpits was all the rage. I could rant on for hours about the double standard for historical (or in this case fantastical) accuracy, the men being allowed to have greasy ponytails, overgrown beards and bad teeth, while the women have “long hair” and otherwise must conform to modern beauty standards. But I won’t. Yet. Is this a detail that Georgerr wrote into the books? About 540 pages in did he put a whole paragraph that was like “Oh yeah, and southern babes all shave their pits.”? 

I enjoyed the introduction of Charles Dance’s character, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as the casting director did. The two shot of Jaime and Charles Dance absolutely screamed “LOOK HOW MUCH ALIKE THEY LOOK AREN’T WE CLEVER, AREN’T WE CLEVER” and I was like,”Yeah, I guess.” This was the least subtle character introduction since Littlefinger appeared surrounded by bared breasts. Is Charles Dance-Lannister brutal? I don’t know for certain, but he’s been introduced skinning and gutting a dead animal, so the odds on him being a cuthroat bastard are pretty good. 

I’ve been reading about Marilyn Monroe recently, and came across this quote from Richard Dyer (star studies 4 lyf): 

“...the white woman is offered as the most highly prized possession of the white man, and the envy of all other races. Imperialist and Southern popular culture abounds in imagery playing on this theme... ....Thus there is the notion of the universally desired ‘white Goddess’...” 

Remember Daenerys? Remember how she started the series by basically being gifted to the Dothraki by her brother?

Yeah. Richard Dyer was writing in his 1986 volume “Heavenly Bodies: Film Stars and Society”. It’s nice to see how much things had changed in thirty years.

One could argue that the representation of Daenerys as a white goddess archetype is dissected in this show. I hope that’s true. I hope that as the series moves along she becomes more than an icon of sexuality and desirability. But presenting her initially nude, in all her extremely pale, white-blonde vulnerability, inserts her into an unhelpful narrative of women as prizes to be won (Princess Jasmine didn’t put up with this shit, Daenerys, you shouldn’t either.) 

I also noticed that the warlike Dothraki, with their long braids and guttural language are... they’re just horsey Klingons aren’t they. (Klingons on horseback is a traditional thanksgiving delicacy aboard the USS Enterprise). This has some interesting cultural implications if you explore the representation of Klingons as characters, which naturally apply to the Dothraki too, as they inherit much of their aesthetic from the big scary space warriors. 

This is the very same episode that I noticed that the... black guard... the wall guys... Jon Snow’s little club...The name escapes me... They are just fluffy Jedi. “Nerd” culture appears to be coming together here, weaving a rich tapestry of fantasy narrative. I can’t wait until “The Iron Soldier” turns up in one episode and makes witty pop-culture references while flying around Winterfell in his shiny suit. 

[nanowrimo]

Harry Potter Word Crawl: Year One

For those of you who have never taken a dip into the NaNoWriMo forums, here’s a little taste of what you’re missing! Today, we’re bringing you a Harry Potter-themed word crawl, slightly modified from the original created by NaNoWriMo participant “my little bird”. Can you navigate your first year at Hogwarts and boost your Camp NaNoWriMo word count?

You receive your Hogwarts letter by owl and are completely ecstatic to head out for your first year at Hogwarts. Sprint to 100 words to let out your excitement and energy.

Part 1: Diagon Alley

You arrive in Diagon Alley and your first stop is Gringotts, wizard bank. Write for ten minutes. The amount of words you write will determine how many Galleons are in your vault.

Less than 150 words: 1 Galleon 150-300 words: 2 Galleons More than 300 words: 3 Galleons

You step into Ollivander’s wand shop. What kind of wand will choose you? Roll a die and multiply your roll by 100. Sprint to that many words.

100-200 words: Your wand has a core of unicorn hair. 300-400 words: Your wand has a core of dragon heartstring. 500-600 words: Your wand has a core of phoenix feather.

Finally, you’re done shopping! But before you leave, you decide that you want to purchase a pet. Write for 15 minutes as you search for the perfect animal for you. Pick one: owl, cat, or toad. (Bonus galleon for putting that creature in your novel somewhere!)

Part 2: Hogwarts Express

After months of waiting, you’ve arrived on platform 9 ¾ and boarded the Hogwarts Express! Write to the nearest thousand as you settle into your seat and get ready for a long ride. If you need to write more than 500 words for this challenge and choose not to skip this round, take one Galleon. If you skip a round during Part 2, pay 1 Galleon.

Anything off the trolley, dear? Buy some sweets to help get you through the ride! Depending on your candy, find your challenge below!

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans: Participate in a Fifty Headed Hydra (a.k.a. an attempt to write 500 words in 5 minutes) as you frantically try to get the taste of earwax out of your mouth. Chocolate Frog: Write for five minutes as you chase down the frog. Licorice Wand: Sprint to 150 words. Pumpkin Pasties: Roll a die and multiply by 50. Write that many words.

Part 3: The Sorting Hat

You arrive at the castle and wait in the hall with the rest of the first years. You notice a boy with messy black hair and glasses talking with a redheaded boy, a girl with bushy hair whispering to the people around her, and a boy with pale… well, everything. Write for ten minutes as you attempt to socialize with the people around you. If you skip a round during Part 3, pay 2 Galleons.

Professor McGonagall escorts you and your peers into the Great Hall for the Sorting. After the Sorting Hat sings its song and several students walk up timidly, your name is called, and you sit yourself down on the stool, worried about what is about to happen. McGonagall places the hat on your head, and you are sorted into your House. Pick from the four Houses—Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin.

Gryffindor: Are you brave enough to write ten times your typing speed in 10 minutes? Hufflepuff: Remain loyal to your word count and write steadily for 45 minutes with no breaks. Ravenclaw: Calculate how many words it will take for you to write to the nearest 1000, then write them to get there. Slytherin: You’re an ambitious one, aren’t you? Write 750 words in 30 minutes!

The feast is delicious! Do the Three Digit Challenge as you eat at your House table and talk with those around you, as well as your House ghost. If you are in Hufflepuff, you know your chambers are near the kitchen, so you may save room for later and skip this round for free.

Part 4: Life in the Castle

You’ve settled into your dormitory quite quickly and nicely, and your first couple weeks of class go well. Write for an hour as you grow accustomed to your new classes and all of the magic you’re learning. If you skip a round during Part 4, pay 3 Galleons.

If you write up to 750 words within the hour: Earn 2 Galleons. If you write between 750—1,250 words within the hour: Earn 3 Galleons. If you write over 1,250 words within the hour: Earn 4 Galleons.

On your way to Potions, the messy haired boy who you now know is Harry Potter stops and asks you if you know where Professor Binns’ classroom is. Write 200 words in 10 minutes as you try to remember where his classroom is.

If you succeed: Harry hurries to Binns’ classroom and gives you a Galleon as a thank you for your help. If you fail: You spend so much time trying to help Harry that you are both late to your next class. Write another 200 words as you apologize to Snape and try not to lose any points for your House. If you are in Slytherin, Snape likes you and lets you skip this round for free.

That night, you get locked out of your common room and Mrs. Norris finds you! You run with Harry, Ron, and Hermione to the third door corridor, and you find a giant three-headed dog! After making it back to your dormitory safely, roll a die, multiply your roll by 100, and write that many words as you try to calm down.

Troll! In the dungeon! You go with Harry and Ron to find Hermione and end up fighting the troll with them. Sprint to 250 words, and try not to get yourself killed. If you are in Gryffindor, you fight the troll bravely and may skip this round for free.

You go down to Hagrid’s hut to have tea with him. When you try his treacle fudge, your teeth get stuck together! Write for fifteen minutes as Hagrid tries to help and Madam Pomfrey magically loosens the cement-like effect the fudge had on your mouth.

Months pass, and it’s Christmas morning! You receive 3 Galleons from your parents, as well as a challenge from the Weasley twins. Write 1000 words in under an hour.

If you succeed: They give you a Galleon. If you fail: They hit you with snowballs until you’re buried under heavy amounts of snow and make you write 250 more words.

During the Gryffindor vs Slytherin Quidditch game, you get incredibly excited. Roll a die. If even, you’re cheering for Gryffindor; if odd, you’re cheering for Slytherin. Word war for fifteen minutes with someone cheering for the opposite team. If you beat them, you win your bet, and you take 2 of their Galleons. But be careful—if you lose, you give them 2 of your Galleons. A bet’s a bet.

Part 5: Through the Trapdoor

Harry tells you that he suspects that Snape is going after the Philosopher’s Stone and you decide to go with the trio to try to get to the Stone before Snape does. But before you can even go down the trapdoor, you need to make it past Fluffy. Write for ten minutes as you lull him to sleep sneak through the door. If you are in Ravenclaw, you know exactly how to keep Fluffy asleep and may skip this round for free. If you skip a round during Part 5, pay 4 Galleons.

Oh no—you and your friends are trapped in a patch of Devil’s Snare! Hermione tells you that you need to write 300 words in five minutes in order to safely escape.

If you succeed: You make it out of the deadly plant without a scratch and even spot a Galleon on the ground. What luck! If you fail: Hermione has to set the plant on fire to get you out alive. She thinks very poorly of your skills now, so write another 300 words to impress her.

Harry catches a flying key and opens a large wooden door. Inside the next room is a giant wizard chess set. You and your friends need to replace some of the pieces and play the game. Ron takes the place of a knight, Harry becomes a bishop, and Hermione takes over for a rook. Pick a chess piece and complete the challenge below! Keep in mind that you are not allowed to skip this round even if you have enough Galleons to do so.

Pawn: You know you won’t be of much use to the game and think it would be wisest to be taken out early. Complete a Fifty Headed Hydra and take a fifteen minute writing break to recover from your injuries. Rook: You take the place of the other rook and spend the game running across the board, strategically taking out important pieces of the other side’s team. Sprint to 200 and take a five minute writing break once the game is won. Bishop: You take the place of the other bishop and sneakily take out pawns on the other team. Write for 20 minutes and take a five minute writing break once the game is won. Knight: You take the place of the other knight and become the wild card of the match. Write 300 words in 15 minutes until you’re taken out by one of the other team’s rooks. Take a fifteen minute writing break to recover from your injuries.

Harry and Hermione move ahead into the next room while you stay with Ron. When Hermione comes back, sprint to 500 words as you run to find Dumbledore and explain the situation to him.

The word gets out that Professor Quirrell is the one who wanted the stone, not Snape! Rumors also spread of your bravery in helping Harry, Ron, and Hermione as you four went through the challenges the professors set to protect the stone. Dumbledore awards you fifty points for your courage. Write for five minutes as your peers congratulate and admire you.

Summer vacation is here! Take an hour-long writing break—you deserve it!

This word sprint originally appeared in the Extreme Harry Potter Crawl: Year One forum by NaNoWriMo user “my little bird”. For more writing games, check out our Word Wars, Prompts, and Crawls forum.