#mace is too old for this shit

[purplezombietumbler]

~Things Little Anakin Had Said/ Done That Make Obi-wan Question If There Really Is A God Prt. 2~

Mace Windu: *Peacefully reading a book in his quarters for fun*

Anakin: Master Windu-

Mace: *jumps* AJE5BXLFQ4YNV! I need to put a bell on you one of these days. What would you like Padawan Skywalker?

Anakin: Can I participate in a podrace?

Mace: Did you ask your Master first?

Anakin: *Remembering the rule that he can't lie to a member of the council* I...

Anakin: *Deciding to feign ignorance instead* ...Forget too.

Mace: *Has known Anakin for so long he doesn't need the Force to tell when Anakin's up to trouble* How unfortunate. You should've ask Knight Obi-Wan first before coming to me.

Anakin: Good... *Knows he’s been caught, but at least he’s alive to fight another day* ...Idea. Thank you Master Windu. *Bows before he leaves*

Depa: Are you going to tell Knight Obi-Wan?

Mace: Nah.

Depa: Why not?

Mace: Not my circus not my monkey.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 61

part 1 | part 60 | ao3

cw: mentions of canonical minor character death

Chapter 14

It's twilight by the time they make their way to Rick's place — gnat clouds swarming, sun dipped low, Lover's Lake an inky smudge beyond the blur of passing pines. Steve’s not totally sure how they got here, this dusty service road that's more pothole than pavement; one minute he's bitching about doomed love and double VHS, the next he’s taking the scenic route to a drug den.

There were some important moments in between, he’s pretty sure.

He’s also pretty sure he blacked out somewhere around the moment the morning news reported that an-unidentified-Hawkins-student-who-very-well-could-be-Eddie-Munson was found dead in his fucking trailer.

Kinda difficult to resurface from that one.

Feels like his soul’s got swimmer’s ear.

Even hours later — after Dustin and Max burst into Family Video talking a mile a minute about how Eddie was alive and they needed to use the phones; after Ernie stupidly gave a reporter Steve’s name, swearing up and down on the TV that his neighbor Steve Harrington was an upstanding young man who would never do something like this; after they spent an agonizingly long afternoon lying low and taking backroads to avoid the cops because the cops probably suspect Steve of murder now, oh god—

“It’s this next right up ahead,” Max says from the back seat. There's a map spread over the bench between her and Dustin, and Steve blinks himself awake; gives her a nod in the rearview.

Beside her, Dustin’s munching on Twizzlers he stole from the store — window down, easy slouch, just way too chipper for the situation at hand. "So Steve," he says conversationally, "now that you're a fugitive, does that mean—?"

Steve cuts Robin a pleading look.

Robin reaches back and smacks the little twerp upside the head.

"Ow!" Dustin whines.

"Shut up, please," Robin smiles.

Max makes a sound like she's trying not to laugh and checks the map again. "Right here," she says, pointing. "After that weird tree stump."

They turn onto another road that could be generously described as paved, once, several decades ago, and eventually, the winding path lets out onto a slightly nicer street. Aging but cared for, Holland Road is a crowded row of little lake houses, trailers and shacks with manicured shrubs and chipped fence paint, weeds growing through the sidewalks beneath pristine American flags. Steve pulls into the driveway of #2121.

It looks abandoned. Dark inside and out, a truck parked on the curb that's likely been there for a while, its tires sagging in a mulch of old wet leaves. There’s an autumn wreath on the front door.

“You sure this is the place?” he asks as they climb out of the car.

Max sasses him for questioning her navigation skills, Dustin unsuccessfully tries to land a revenge slap on Robin — a move that earns him a retaliation wedgie and a wrestling match he was never gonna win — and Steve pops the trunk and feels a hundred years old. Feels every bit the exhausted dad trying to keep the family road trip together as he grabs his nail bat and slings his duffel over his shoulder.

"You planning to spend the night?" Dustin teases from Robin's armpit, still bent double where she's got him in a headlock.

"No, just-" he drops the bag at their feet with a grunt, “doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Dustin’s eyes bug out. “Is that a can of goddamn bear mace?”

“Keep your voice down!” Steve hisses.

“You keep your voice down!”

"Should I just go ahead and choke him out?" Robin offers.

Steve considers it for a second: knock 'em all out, stuff 'em back inside the car. Go do this shit quietly by himself.

He rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips.

"You're no fun," she pouts, but she lets Dustin go.

Dustin grabs flashlights and walkies out of the bag, passes them around the circle. They take a moment to steel themselves — huddled together in the dark, shoulders tense, the creepy house looming ahead. Sharp shadows stretch toward them. Croaking sounds creeping from the edges of the lake.

Robin puts her flashlight under her chin like she's about to tell a scary story. "Alright, kiddos," she says in a deep, ominous voice. "Let's go rescue Steve's ex."

Stunned silence in the sudden vacuum her words create. Steve lets out a tired sigh. Dustin’s jaw is on the curb.

“His WHAT?” Dustin shouts.

Oh, my god. “He’s not my ex."

Robin rolls her eyes and says ‘sure’ under her breath, and Max turns to Dustin, laughing. “You didn’t know they were a thing?”

“We’re not—” Steve tries again.

“What were you trying to get them back together for then?”

She seems genuinely curious. Dustin seems three seconds from spontaneous combustion. “What was I WHAT?!” he yelps, limbs everywhere. Reminds Steve of Eddie so bad it hurts.

“Okay,” Steve interrupts, clapping them both on the shoulder; drops his voice to a harsh whisper. “In case you two forgot, we’re here to rescue Eddie.”

“Who you’re dating.”

Dustin’s voice is small, disconnected, his gaze far away. Like he’s shellshocked.

“Jesus Christ.” Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “I— Yes. No. It’s complicated.”

Max snorts at his answer, Dustin makes a series of faces like he's gonna need seven years to process, and Robin interrupts his crisis by waving her flashlight like a traffic guard, walking backward up the hill as she directs them toward the house.

“Why don’t we just go find him first?” she suggests, making a rainbow with her hands, flinging light through the grimy windows. “And then Stevie here can answer alllll your big gay questions.”

Steve glares at Robin. Dustin glares at him, narrowed eyes for a full ten seconds like 'yeah, you fucking better,' and then he takes off up the driveway hollering Eddie's name.

—

part 62

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[ronearoundblindly]

Forgive me if I sent this ask before... I don't remember if I did 😅 but if not just know that I thought about sending it in since you started this series 🙈

For who would:

If you just hand them your baby niece or nephew or a baby you're watching for a friend (just any baby lol) who would hand it right back to you, silently hold it with a sheer look of panic till you come back and take it or be a natural and not give it back to you at all?

I love this bit of fluff and silliness for a Sunday; excellent question!

James Mace

He asks a lot of questions about what needs done or should be done. Is it changing time? How much head support should he provide? Is this a DND (do not disturb, D&D is for his own kiddos) baby ready for a nap? Is this play time? Should he be engaging the baby or keeping up conversation with the group?

Now, as to whether or not having the baby in his arms gives him any ideas: not any more than he's already had. You two have plans, you've talked about this and are on the same page, so his interactions right then have to do with that baby at that moment. He doesn't necessarily have stronger feelings when handling other people's children.

Curtis Everett

Curtis does not trust himself around babies especially. He goes extremely stiff and extremely quiet. He stares intensely. He will not do anything unless you tell him to do something with the baby. Even then he is not truly comfortable.

Babies bring up a lot of memories and emotions for him, and theoretically he knows he isn't in the same place/headspace as when he was younger, he knows babies aren't in as much danger as the old days, but he still gets so overwhelmed by it.

Yes, Curtis is even like this with his own children. He counts the days until his child is old enough to not be considered a 'baby' anymore. In fact, Curtis enjoys the memory of their infancy, pictures and videos, etc, more than he can enjoy being with them as infants.

Jimmy Dobyne

Honestly, a total natural. Small towns and rural areas mean closer-knit families, neighbors, and friends. They all help each other out. A bunch of kids shuffle around to spend afternoons here or Saturdays there. Babies get passed around to let parents get errands done or go on dates. It's not a big deal; it's just a way of life.

At this point, Jimmy has cleaned up after and fed a dozen different species of 'babies.' He's fine with it. He doesn't play much though, not with babies. Jimmy prefers when they're old enough to run around for catch or sports, etc. That's more his wheelhouse.

Johnny Storm

Fucking terrified to handle babies but LOVES entertaining them. Will do absolutely anything to make that baby laugh. To a fault sometimes because Johnny will get so animated he knocks shit over in the house or wherever you two are.

You give him credit for trying though.

Jake Jensen

Sits that baby up on his lap and continues to watch whatever screen he's focused on.

Jake isn't necessarily bad with babies, but he prefers to continue to enjoy the more adult entertainment/interactions around him. Like Jimmy, he will be more than hands-on excited once that baby can be active with their own interests (sports or otherwise) because he will participate and support 100%. Babies are just a bit too floppy and unreadable for him.

Lloyd Hansen

Thrilled to let those tiny baby fingers try to hold the grip of his switchblade. Adores how fucking angry the parents (or you) get when he plays with knives around them or has them play with the knives. Lloyd secretly finds baby facial reactions to be the funniest things on the planet--but, no, he doesn't actually like babies.

Ari Levinson

Ari is a playful papa through and through. Has more than once strapped that carrier to his chest and wondered around with someone's kiddo for whole parties. Endlessly entertained and entertaining when it comes to babies.

However, Ari really, really doesn't like when babies get grabby and pull at his hair. That shit hurts, and he hates it. Also he's oddly squeamish about spit-up and/or vomit. Technically, he is not a fan of diaper duty, like very, very, very not a fan.

Ransom Drysdale

The absolute fuck are you handing him a baby for??? Bitch, are you insane?! Be real. Seriously. Just don't.

There isn't even much improvement in this behavior when it's Ran's own child. Not a fan of the 'baby' stage, this one.

Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Lumping these two together because they do exactly the same things. Steve and Bucky physically treat female and male babies differently; they are sweet and cooing with girls, and then they talk about or mimic sports things with boys. They don't mean to be presumptive in this behavior, just do it be default.

Neither is afraid to roll their sleeves up and help with feeding or changing. They'll give equal attention to the baby and the group around you. They will both happily sit/stand/walk around with a napping baby in their arms--although they aren't thrilled to be unable to help with other stuff while they have no available hands.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...? Asks List; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81

@bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries 

@rogersbarber @blogbog710

[nrc-asteryn-crew]

Mace grinned enthusiastically, trying to distract himself from the pure joy that threatened to spill out of his very being. Something about the way Casimir continued to refer to him as 'my friend' made his heart feel warm. Warmer than he remembers it was able to be. It was... nice. This was nice. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to let himself truly enjoy this. But he didn't deserve that. He was too late for trivial things like this. And yet, he still sought them out...

"Aah? Ooh, that seems intriguin'! I kinda like it!"

He commented, nodding.

"Wait- isn't this similar to that one with the dumb rabbit and fox Yuuto makes references to sometimes..? I swear..."

"Ahem. Uh- Yeah, if ya good with this one, I'm down!"

- Mace (🔌)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway on a sort of but also kind of not really unrelated note ......

i was curious about how long we'd been going at this for and --

THE 21ST WAS THE 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY SINCE THE VERY FIRST MACE & CASIMIR INTERACTION (aka the first time i snuck in2 ur ask box in response to the miku post). WOWZERS.

the 24th was their first irl interaction , and the 29th is the first time i actually replied using this account -- !!

idk i just find that very interesting and cool :3

idk i wldve said this in tags but i didnt feel like it so here it is ;p

- Aue

For the second afternoon in a row that week, Mace found himself walking down the same corridor of the Diasomnia dorms. He would have come by sooner, having finished downloading all of the stuff onto the drive way earlier, but he got a bit distracted doing... a few different things. He hoped Casimir didn't mind the wait too much. It would be a shame if he did.

Approaching Casimir's door, he knocked the same way he did last time, before stepping back.

"Yello~! Guess who it is~!"

He called out, combing his fingers through his hair to neaten it up a bit while he waited for the door to open. Not that he was trying to make it look extra neat. But more... trying to make it seem like he didn't just crawl out of bed a few hours ago, just to only make it in time to attend the last class of the day. Because he definitely didn't. Definitely.

- Mace (🔌) [ @nrc-asteryn-crew ]

( ooc// i cannot the way he starts monologuing in his thoughts then gets more sentimental STOPP I CANT DO THIS I LOVE HIM SM ACTUALLY if he was in game i WOULD whale /pos silly guy if anything ur inability to control ur UM is just making mace more interested in you (i actually love that it does that tho its so silly) anyway I FINALLY MADE THE GOSH DARN BLOG . well sorta i more so just had to revamp the pinned post that was already there but YEA!!! :D )

*the knocking on the door startled Casimir from his thoughts that, today, mainly consisted of some nonsense on a homework page. He relaxed though, at the recognition of the knocking pattern and voice and stood up*

*He took a deep breath to compose himself and adopt his typical, grandiose persona before opening the door*

Greetings to you, Vassal Mace! It is a pleasure to see that you have decided to return to my lair on this day.

I assume that your being here means you have successfully completed your quest?

*Casimir did his best to contain his excitement, tapping his fingers together in what, to most appearances, could be read as excitement or a gesture of evil plotting - the perfect gesture for one of his status, now that he thought about it.*

(✨HELL YEAH! banger that u have a blog now! I think I'm already following ur acct from my main but yaur!!! Also thank u SM that means. A lot actually bc I'm just here like "yeah this silly guy who exists in my brain is gonna get thrown from a window" and I really appreciate when other ppl like my silly guys dhhdsjdj. I'm so excited to be able to learn more Abt ur guys now tho too whehehehe >:3¢. Probably should've done this from the tags. Anyways.)

[seat-safety-switch]

I'm in the marketplace of ideas, and some of these thoughts are coming from the bargain basement. We've all got terrible concepts rattling around in our heads, but in times long past, there were limited opportunities to disclose them. Maybe to your suffering spouse, sometimes to a beloved family dog, perhaps to your kids if you hadn't sent them out to labour in the fields yet. Once that audience was spent, it was better just to keep your mouth shut.

Now, with the internet, anyone can descend into an international network of other dingbats. No matter your dumb-assed belief, there are statistically several million people with the exact same one. This experience will reinforce your worst behaviours, and soon you'll be kidnapping a state senator to get him to stop making the government owls spy on you at night. Not the private industry owls, those are fine and are only interested in collecting pseudo-anonymized shopping data for marketing purposes. Just the government ones.

Paradoxically, all these free-minded folks are really getting into the swing of old-fashioned, no-thinky-so-much totalitarianism. It has never been a better time to be a charismatic, personable cult leader. A few catchphrases, a hand gesture or two, and an unwavering drumbeat of confidence that the people responsible for the current state of affairs will be punished. Unfortunately for me, "charisma" is not exactly compatible with cornering people in the hallway and one-on-one asking them about their gear ratio setup. Most folks just hiss and try to crawl away, or fumble for mace. What wannabe dictators need, though, is a large luxury vehicle.

Almost universally throughout history, a true leader has needed an enormous luxury sedan, often with little flags on the front fenders. It's how we know someone is important. Sure, the Dutch show up in a squadron of bicycles, and the Japanese Emperor travels in a train that converts itself into an enormous war robot at a moment's notice, but to get that real autocratic vibe, you want an impractically massive car. And that's just what I've been selling out of my yard.

Sure, I don't like selling my New Yorkers and Mark Vs, but I don't really drive them all that often. You have to pay too much attention to where you're pointing the car in today's crowded city streets. They don't even fit in the Tim Hortons drive-thru anymore. Every tinpot internet fascist has a thick stack of banknotes to place in my lap in exchange for some rusty shit they can trick their followers into restoring. And, most importantly, those suddenly-desirable cars are taking up room in my backyard that I could use to store more shitty old cars.

So if you're planning to get into an internet cult this weekend, tell whoever's in charge to come on down to my place, once they've reached a critical mass of acolytes. Only my shitboxes can provide the curb appeal required to add true legitimacy to your insane conspiracy theories.

[phoenixyfriend]

Do you want another Jangosoka concept?

Concept is that Boba finds a… something on Tatooine that looks like Weird Force Shit. He does not know any Jedi or Sith, personally, but he knows three people who do have connections to Jedi:

Han Solo, whom he has on speed dial despite hating each other, and losing most of his contacts with his comm when the Sarlacc ate him

Din Djarin, whose kid goes to school Somewhere With Jedi? Maybe? he's not entirely clear on how much contact Djarin has with Skywalker these days

Bo-Katan Kryze, who has Ahsoka Tano on speed dial

Obviously, he goes through Bo-Katan first, because Ahsoka Tano knows more about general Force things than the latest Skywalker, and has less of a Direct Grudge against Boba himself.

So he makes a call and tries to ignore the Weird Force Thing that he just poked. He waits a few days.

Ahsoka shows up. She holds the thing. It is confusing.

They have a stupid argument built on Uncomfortable History at some point, and Boba being a grump, and he snatches it from her, managing to slice his finger on one of the edges.

A few drops of blood get on the weird force thing, and there is a flash of light, and suddenly there's a half-dead Jango Fett in the room.

Like "He has visible burns on his neck from Mace's lightsaber, but still has his head, as if he was pulled through time from the very moment before of his death."

Which Big Oops

Boba is panicking. Ahsoka is trying not to admit she's freaked out. Jango is. clawing as his throat dude stop that.

Ahsoka's the one that had enough brains to call for a medic and keeps sitting at his side to keep a Very Judgemental Eye on him, but she's. You know. Jedi. So Jango is constantly suspicious of her.

(He thinks Boba is a faulty fast-aging clone, like 99, because that's the only thing that makes sense.) (Also he doesn't acknowledge Ahsoka's "I'm not a Jedi" thing.)

Ahsoka's had thirty years to come to terms with the death of her people but she's also, for obvious reasons, still judgmental as fuck and has a lot of questions.

But also this was necromancy, which is Sith Or Nightsister Bullshit, and she needs to make sure he's not about to get possessed and go hunting for Force Sensitive babies or something insane like that.

(The reason the object drew Jango is because of the totally coincidental identical DNA. Turns out the object is intended to bring back the dead using a body sample of the corpse, but identical blood will do if there's a dead person with the same.)

IDK where exactly it goes from here but it's 44yo Jango, 45yo Boba, and 49 Ahsoka Plus Fennec, who's just hanging around

They need to bring around someone Jango actually knows and will trust, because obviously Boba is a fake and Ahsoka's a liar and this is all some weird Jedi trick.

Options are Maz Kanata (who's definitely old enough to remember him), or Bo-Katan herself, except they try Bo since she's closer and it turns out she was still a toddler when Jango went missing so that's not going to help at all.

Mij or one of the other Cuy'val Dar could theoretically still be alive, and Sabine has parents that might have known him before they joined up with Pre.

Fennec knowing him would be a BIT too easy.

I'm imagining that the call goes as Boba explaining that, well, there's this one guy that he knows, that his dad was close with, but the Sarlacc kind of ate his comm unit and he hasn't had the time or resources to hunt down all his contact numbers and whatnot yet, so he's not sure how to go about actually calling the guy, and so they have to politely ask Bo-Katan if she, as Mand'alor, can find the contact information for one Mij Gilamar. Boba's pretty sure he's still running a clinic on Insert Planet Here, so it shouldn't be too hard to get, it's just kind of impossible from Tatooine.

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 protector: chapter twenty-one

synopsis: " you were supposed to stay a crewate, just another back to watch, " he tightened his hold, " i didn't even notice the change until i woke up one day and realized i'd take a bullet for you "

cw: violence, gore, fighting, mature themes, profanity, MAJOR/MINOR ANIME SPOILERS, follows the plot of the anime, slowww burn.

a/n: reposting from another account

After traveling through the desert again, crossing the river, and meeting up with Karoo, the crew finally made it to Alubarna where it was time to take your stand.

The crew split up into groups of two in order to face off with the officer agents, and you, of course, were paired with the directionally-challenged swordsman.

"It's a straight path! How are you still wandering off?! This is the third time I've had to chase you down, you idiot!" you scolded the man, smacking him upside the head.

"Gah! Woman, will you quit it with the hitting?! I said I was sorry!" Zoro exclaimed, clutching his head painfully.

"Sorries start to lose their weigh the tenth time you say 'em," you scoffed.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, "Where the hell are these officer guys, anyway?"

"Pfft. Up your butt and around the corner," you muttered under your breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" 

"Aw, you two fight like an old married couple," an unfamiliar feminine voice smirked. 

Suddenly, a large, black man came out of nowhere, practically flying past you and aggressively clashing swords with Zoro, though his arms were the blades.

Their slashes reverberated, slicing through the stone column behind you.

"Holy shit," you marveled, wide eyed.

"Miss Double Finger..." the black man growled, side eyeing the blue haired woman before you as he continued to cross swords with Zoro.

"I know, I know, you want to eliminate him, don't you? You do as you please. I'll take care of the girl," she smirked.

"Don't be so sur—" Just as you held up your mace for an attack, she sent a spike from her finger right through it, creating a gigantic hole.

This woman created a gigantic hole in your mace.

"Too bad," she taunted with a smile, "Guess the run down thing's had some wear and tear throughout the years."

You went wide eyed as you looked at the gaping hole within your weapon, dropping to your knees with tearful eyes.

"(y/n)! (y/n)! I know I'm a little late for your birthday present, but I think this'll make up for it," Corazon smiled, walking up to you with a big smile as he hid something behind his back.

You cocked a brow, crossing your arms at the man, "Coraaaaa, it's sixteen days late."

"I thought you couldn't count."

"I'M SIX NOT STUPID!"

"Ya look pretty stupid," Law teased from his spot next to the fire, smirking.

"Shaddup!" you huffed.

"Well, late or not I think you'll really like this. Ya ready?" Corazon smiled.

You grinned, "Ready!"

He pulled a mace out from behind his back and plopped into your tiny little hands, it making a loud clank as you dropped it from the overwhelming weight.

"A weapon?" you asked, confused.

"Not just any weapon, the last known weapon from Taiyo. I know you hate not having something to remember your village by, so I wanted to get you something that you can always have with you," he cheesed.

Your eyes glossed over, and you looked down at the weapon, lip quivering.

"Is this why you were gone for so long?"

"Yeah. The guy selling it lives pretty far away. But look! It's in great condition, right? You just gotta be careful with the—" Before he could even finish you were already on him, tackling the poor man in a bear hug.

"What's wrong?! Ya don't like it?!"

"I can't believe... you did this for me, Cora. No one's ever done something so nice for me," you sobbed into his shirt, tightly clutching onto the strings of his hat.

His face of concern soon turned to one of relief.

"Of course I did, kiddo," he smiled, stroking your hair, "I care about you. I care about the both of you brats. Giving you a little something for your birthday's the least I could do. You just gotta promise me you'll take good care of it, alright? That thing's one of a kind."

You beamed from ear to ear, "I promise!"

'Cora... I... I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I didn't see her... I wasn't paying attention.'

"YOU BITCH!" you shouted, making everyone, even Zoro, go wide eyed.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IMPORTANT THIS MACE IS TO ME! AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO PUNCH A HOLE IN IT?!"

You voice was full of pain and hurt, and your breathing was heavy, almost panting.

"(y/n)..." Zoro muttered, utterly shocked.

He had never seen you explode in such a way.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" 

You quickly shot yourself at the woman winding up your fist for one monster punch, but the second it landed, you nearly bit your tongue off trying to muffle the scream that you wanted to let out.

She turned her face into spikes before you could truly land the punch. 

"(Y/N)!" Zoro shouted, eyes wide as you pulled your impaled hand off her face.

"Focus," the man, who you believed to be Mr. 1, tutted, pushing Zoro into another column

"Did I strike a nerve?" Double Finger smirked, taking a hit from her pipe.

"I'm gonna strike oil with your head," you spat, your glare and tone practically glacial.

You quickly sent an axe kick straight to her head, impaling your foot but also sending her smashing into the ground face first.

A brilliant white light appeared on your hand and foot, your injuries magically gone by the time the light dimmed to nothing.

"Wha—? But how?! What devil fruit do you have?!" She asked, lifting her head slowly.

"Angel-Angel fruit," you smirked down at her, "Remember it, bitch."

You broke off two large, sword-like feathers from your wings, holding them in a swordsman's stance.

"I suggest you start running," you warned, with a smile.

The woman quickly scrambled to her feet and turned herself into a spike ball, hedgehog-ing away as fast as she possibly could.

Calmly, you formed the feather sword into a spear, slowly taking your aim, before releasing it at near lightning speed, impaling her right through her side.

She let out a blood curdling scream, coming out of her spiky form but still making a run for it.

You narrowed your eyes, holding your arms as if you held a bow and arrow, until one constructed of solid, golden light appeared in your grasp with three arrows drawn.

"Let's try... spine, shoulder blade, and ribcage," you stated, closing one eye to make sure you lined it up just right

And sure enough, your arrows bulls-eyed each one.

Double Finger dropped to the floor in pain, writhing in agony as you took your time slowly flying your way over there.

Once you made it, you paused and watched her plead and beg for her life, rushed apologies and promises flowing out her mouth like water.

You scoffed.

"You chose your fate the moment you hurt my mace," you looked down at her, your eyes not showing a single shred of remorse for what was about to come.

You made a gigantic mace out of light and wound it up, bringing it down on top of her.

She shouted in pain, the sound no doubt echoing throughout the entire country.

When the mace dissipated, she was nothing but a bloody and bruised mess, most definitely down for the count

"Bitch," you spat, turning around and walking back over to where you left your real mace.

Picking it up, you placed your hands on the damaged area, running your fingers over it.

'I'll never forgive her.'

That's when you remembered.

"Zoro!"

Quickly, you zipped over to where you saw his fight move. And there you saw his opponent face down in the dirt... but Zoro face down in the dirt as well.

"Zoro!" you exclaimed, flying over and landing on your knees next to him, placing his head in your lap.

He was soaked in blood from head to toe, and was completely still, making your eyes go wide with worry.

'Shit!'

That is, until he let out an annoyed groan.

"That guy... was... a pain in the ass," he panted, opening his eyes to look up at the sky.

"IDIOT! YOU SCARED ME!" you shouted, half angry and half relieved.

"You okay?" he asked, weakly turning to you, his eyes giving you a quick once over to double-check.

"I heard a bunch of screaming earlier but I didn't have the strength to move."

"It was the woman I was fighting, actually," you smiled, wiping some blood about to dribble into his eye.

"But we gotta get you to Chopper, ASAP."

"There's no time," he waved off, trying to sit up, "We gotta get to the town square and help."

"Just let me heal you, then," you sighed, getting ready to press your hand on his chest.

Until he grabbed your wrist.

"But your promise? You told me that you promised someone you'd never use you power for someone else's gain," he strained, the last bit of his strength clearly used to stop you.

You smiled, your heart fluttering in your chest at the fact that he remembered something from so long ago.

"Of course I gain from healing you, Zoro. I care about you and I don't want to see you in pain," you assured, resting your hand on his cheek.

"So please, let me heal you."

The faintest dusting of pink rested on his cheeks, but luckily all his blood was covering it.

He nodded, turning away so you could do your work.

Smiling, you pressed your hand flat on his chest, allowing your brilliant white light to envelope him and all of his injuries.

And when your light dimmed, he was as good as new.

"I haven't done that... in fourteen years," you sighed, flopping down into his arms.

"(y/n)?" He asked, slightly concerned.

"I need... a minute. Think you can... carry me for a bit?" you panted, allowing yourself to already start drifting asleep.

Zoro cracked a smile, hoisting you up on his back, "Yeah. Get some rest. I'll—"

He was interrupted by the sound of your loud snoring, and he let out a quiet chuckle.

"Get some rest. I'll keep you safe."

"TEN!"

"Mhmm," you groaned, nuzzling into Zoro's back

"NINE!"

"Hey, (y/n)," Zoro called, shrugging his shoulders to shake you awake.

"EIGHT!"

"What?" you groaned, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, realizing that there was a whole lot of commotion going on around you.

"SEVEN!"

"Sorry to interrupt your nap but could you throw that bomb away from the city. It's in the clock," he asked, pointing up to this clock tower where these two weirdly dressed people were shouting numbers.

"SIX!"

"Fine," you sighed, hopping off his back.

"FIVE!"

"Wait..."

"FOUR!"

"Woman, we don't have a lot of time! What is it?!"

"THREE!"

"You gonna get me a big bottle of sake for this?"

"TWO!"

"YES! YES! JUST GO DO IT, PLEASE! BEFORE WE ALL DIE!"

"ONE!"

"Done."

 You zipped up there in a blink, grabbing the bomb and flying straight up into the sky, letting it go off with a deafening BOOM!

All eyes went wide, including the ones of your crew.

"(Y/N)!!" everyone screamed.

"I TOLD HER TO HURRY UP!" Zoro exclaimed, tightly gripping his hair as he watched the ashy remains of the bomb fall from the sky.

His heart was in his throat.

This had to be a nightmare.

There's no way you were dead right now because of some damn sake.

Just then he heard a small sound. It was faint, but very distinct.

Like the sound of someone's laughter.

And as he looked closer at the falling debris, he saw something you-shaped falling fast.

And headed straight towards him.

He tried to run, but it was too late. 

You had already landed on the poor man's back, laughing your ass off.

"Thanks for the cushion, Zoro," you smiled.

"WOMAN, GET THE HELL OFF ME!" he shouted, kicking his legs.

"HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU NOT DEAD?!" Nami, Usopp, and Vivi exclaimed in unison, shocked.

"Huh," you wondered, placing a finger on your chin, "Not too sure."

"(y/n)!" Chopper sobbed, jumping into your lap and crying into your shirt, "I thought you died!"

"It's alright, Chopper. I'm here now, see?" you pinched his cheek.

He sniffled, "I'm still gonna give you a check-up, just to be sure."

You cheesed, "Of course, doctor."

"That's my beautiful, kind, and strong (y/n)! Did you miss me, my loveeeee?" Sanji cooed, his arms doing the noodle thing they do.

"I STILL NEED YOU TWO TO GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

[kurtmustdie]

the candy i will give you depending on your favorite character/look gerard way played

Party Poison:

Absolutely based and ily, have something sour i know its your thing

Death:

you are an absolute bitch and i hope you trip in your heels, have some laced chocolate (i love them too this is 100% a self own)

Revenge:

You probably just want something really sweet and probably blood red because you want to lie in bed crying eating candy, have a bunch of jolly ranchers theyre all cherry you can get through this i love you

Hesitant Alien:

you are my favorite. have fun dip. i know your kind very well dont fucking snort it.

Current G:

youre either old or lactose intolerant either way have some caramel you deserve it for being based as fuck

Whatever the hell this was:

he looks like a supervillain that could kill me with a sneeze, um. thats probably your thing. in that case im giving you anti-horny repellent (its shark mace)

Teal roots:

Im giving you water you dehydrated fuck

Red Roots:

i fucking hate hot tamales but i love red roots gerard so im basically shooting myself in the foot here

Hot English teacher era:

i cant even combat your horniness with shark repellent just have some reeses and leave me alone

Bullets era:

you get the better peanut candy (if you have a peanut allergy im sorry)

yellow:

just know that my mother had to travel far and wide to find these at a random japanese hobby shop so youre getting the good shit right here. youre party poison likers love for sour food on steroids i fear you.

The one i forgot about (priest gerard):

fruity fish for a fruity bitch

[ravenwriter16]

Greetings lords, ladies, non-binary nobles and all you other very lovely nobles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, I shall be conducting an interview with a highly requested individual. It took some persuasion--,

Ivan: You kidnapped me--,

But he's here now! So no need to know who kidnapped who--,

Ivan: You did--,

Let's start this interview off with some introductions! Come on Ivan! Tell our lovely viewers your name.

Ivan: You are SO lucky I'm chained up right now...

If you do this for me, I'll pay you a hundred gold pieces--.

Ivan: My name is Ivan Eli Harknoght.

...Really? That's all it took? Gold?

Ivan: Do you know how expensive it is for good farm equipment? Meat? Utility Runes? Clothing? Imported Books--,

Okay! Okay, geez you made your point...

Ivan: What's the next damn question? I though you had a list?

I do! Just hold on...Alrighty. What are you?

Ivan: I'm an ogre. A pixie ogre to be exact--,

Pff! 'Pixie'? But you're so tall and HUGE! And you don't have...pfft, the glittering wings~.

Ivan: *Glares* My Ma was a pixie, my Pa was an ogre. Ogres are more dominate in the shuffling of traits.

So what pixie traits did you get from your mother?

Ivan: My eyes. Normally an ogre's eyes are purely black. My Ma gave them color instead. I'm also small than an average ogre my age.

And...how old are you?

Ivan: 94, why?

*Chokes on spit* Wow...uhm no reason! N-next question! Do you have any mana?

Ivan: Yeah. A bit of nature weaving. Another upside of being half pixie.

I also hear that you are a legendary weaponsmith. Is that true?

Ivan: *Shrugs* I make swords...and maces, hammers, throwing stars, lances--,

You don't have to list off everything you know--,

Ivan: You told me to answer your questions, I'm answering the fucking questions.

Heh, Ivan, you run a shop in the village called...well 'Shop'. What do you sell?

Ivan: Food. Books. And all kinds of shit.

Could you please not curse--,

Ivan: *Deadpans* You need to get your ears checked lass because I've been swearin' since the beginning of this fucking thing.

...Nevermind then...grumpy old man...

Ivan: *Brow twitches* What'd you say?

Nothing! Nothing! Next question! Did you have any past jobs?

Ivan: ...pass.

WHAT?! You can't pass!

Ivan: Why not?

Be...because people want to know!

Ivan: ...100 more gold pieces then I'll think about it.

50 more gold pieces and I don't keep you chained up in here for the next two weeks.

Ivan: ...

Well~?

Ivan: A knight...I was a Royal Knight for the old King. I got out before the Celestial Rising.

What made you leave?

Ivan: If you were there and saw the things I saw, you would've left too.

Hmm. Do you have any partners? Romantic ones I mean.

Ivan: *Scrunches up his nose* No.

Heh, okay! Last Question!

Ivan: About fucking--,

Watch it.

Ivan: *Rolls eyes*

So! Last question is a simple one. What are your feelings regarding a certain Exiled/Runaway Princess?

Ivan: Chipmunk? Why would people want to know about that?

Uhm, curiosity?

Ivan: *Grumbles* Well there's nothing I feel towards her! She's a lousy rentee, annoying beyond all get out, constantly nags me about MY affairs. I hate the way she messes with my garden by planting all those blasted vegetables and strawberry bushes. Then she has the nerve to work late and keep me up. Only coming back inside at midnight and walking around like a brain-dead dwarf! I always have to carry her back to her room!

That sounds--,

Ivan: On top of all of that! I have to tend to all her cuts and scrapes. I can never understand why she won't just give it a rest and take care of herself! She may be an adult, but she's still acts like such a brat!

Ivan? You--,

Ivan: I may not be human with a fucking pitiful lifespan but that doesn't mean I'll be around forever!

Ivan...

Ivan: She's gotta learn self-preservation! Otherwise she won't last a day. I already taught her some survival skills but--,

IVAN!

Ivan: What?!

Do you care for her?

Ivan: *looks away and huffs, a light green dusting his cheeks* Oh please! She's nothing more than a punk!

Then...why do you call her Chipmunk? Kind of sounds like an affectionate nickname to me~.

Ivan: That's ridiculous! I call her that because she's a rodent! Yes! A damn rodent who is fucking eating me out of house and home! And her cheeks puff out all cute like when she stuffs her fucking face like an animal!

I don't know Ivan. It sounds like you care about her.

Ivan: HA!

You do realize that people call you 'Uncle' Ivan? Including your little 'Chipmunk'?

Ivan: *Blinks* W...What are you going on about?

Her Highness thinks of you as her uncle.

Ivan: ...

...uhm.

Ivan: ...

Ivan? You good there?

*Ivan exp. has stopped working*

Ooooookay...Guess that's it for today.

Thank you everybody for tunning in! This was all made possible by your votes! If you want me to talk to another character, please feel free to let me know!

And! Thank you Ivan for joining us today!

*Reloading Ivan exp: 10% completed*

Eeeehhhh, I'm sure he'll be FINE! I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of your timezone!

Signing off for now!

[ceilingfan5]

make it count

"problem" for @taznovembercelebration

Kravitz thought he was already having a weird night, but the guy tumbling out of his closet was, honestly, a real surprise. 

“AUGH, FUCK,” Kravitz says, flawlessy parried by closet guy’s “FUCK, AUGH.”

Kravitz steps back. Too far. The bed catches his ass, which hopefully looks like he sat down intentionally and didn’t reverse kneecap himself. Closet guy straightens up, long, gorgeous hair all over the place, and he spits hair out of his mouth and eyes Kravitz, steely, but also nervous, like Kravitz might be angling to kick his ass. 

Kravitz might. He hasn’t decided yet. He’s a little panicked, and he doesn’t like, WANT to call the cops, obviously, but there’s a fuckin’ dude in his closet and he’s been home for like three hours now. He’s played dad rock as high as his phone could go and danced in his boxers, and showered, and changed into pajamas, and eaten popcorn like both a horse and the tender but misunderstood delinquent girl feeding that horse and maybe that’s not necessarily something he wanted some kind of malignant fucknugget to witness.

“Who the fuck are you and how did you get in my apartment??” he demands, grabbing the nearest heavy object and brandishing his shitty lamp that makes an annoying noise when it’s on like it’s some kind of newfangled glaive-mace. 

“Who the fuck are you and where am I?” closet guy retorts aggressively, in a funny accent Kravitz can’t really place. Maybe it’s fake. Is this guy fucking with him? He’s too tired to be fucked with. He won’t allow it. 

“My apartment, asshole, keep up!” 

“Answer the first question!”

“You first!” Kravitz juts with the lamp, which is unfortunately a little flaccid, what with its flexible spine and all. He should have grabbed a shoe and just chucked it. 

“I don’t remember what you said!” the guy admits, which, okay, Kravitz kind of gets it, and it’s sort of hard to stay serious, even with his hackles up as they are. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“I’m in my pajamas!” Kravitz says, defensive. He knows the old, old Death Note t-shirt and Jack Skellington pants, which he got from the defunct K-mart mumble years ago, are not like. Flattering. BUT!! Listen. His vintage monogrammed pjs are in the dirty pile. And the dirty pile has gotten a little big, cause things have been nuts at work, and he’s worn out and exhausted and other words for fuckin’ wiped. What is it people say now. Eepy? Baby you’d best believe he’s eepy to the core like some kind of fucking blood disease. 

Man. Maybe he should get his vitamins checked. 

But also fuck you, closet guy, he’s in his own home, and no one was supposed to witness him tonight. He’s done being seen and perceived. You hear him? Done!

“Is that…so.” The guy squints at him. Kravitz would be assuming what the fuck he’s judging Kravitz on, but he kind of got lost in the attractive freckles and his long elegant fingers, and the gap in his teeth. And the hair, despite the fact that it is still all over the place, isn’t a minus. “I am Taako, prince of the elves.” 

“Oh, okay, and we’re back to zero,” Kravitz says, cheerfully realizing he’s going to have to fucking call 911 because he truly cannot figure out what the better option is. Except. He’s going to get strangled in his fucking Death Note t-shirt from 2013 because his goddamn Jack Skellington pants don’t have pockets and his phone is in the kitchen, actually, and they may not put that in his eulogy but everyone is going to know anyway, because of cringe osmosis. 

He doesn’t usually believe in cringe. Funny what imminent death does to your philosophy. 

“Why is that?” Taako squints at him, tucking hair behind his ears. And, shit, maybe he’s done costume work for whatever the fuck this is, maybe he’s had some insane plastic surgery, but his ears truly are crazy pointy. Not even elf in a movie pointy, like ten, twelve inches long, and they flick when Taako touches them. Kravitz reorients some facts, none of which add up, and he struggles.

“I’m Kravitz,” he says, against both his good judgement and his judgement he uses when his good judgement is dirty. 

Taako squints at him harder. Kravitz wonders if he should put the lamp down, especially considering it knocked over his wifi router which is blinking frantically like some kind of crying electric beast, but honestly whatever at this point. Like, is he going to die? Shit, then at least he doesn’t have to work tomorrow, you know? Sorry mama, he promises he cares, mostly. 

“Assistant head of sales,” he adds. Taako considers this at length. 

“I think I took the wrong portal,” he decides. He turns back to the closet, which reveals that he has a tail, actually, for real, as far as Kravitz can gather, and puts his hands on his enticing hips in frustration when he finds Kravitz’s bullshit mess of Work clothes, Dress Up clothes, Play clothes, and Nobody Can See Me Fuck Off clothes. And also four wigs, his heated blanket, the printer he’s mad at, an embarrassing amount of hangers,  and two paper boxes full of dumb garbage he can’t let go of from two moves ago. And some glitter. Shut up is why. 

"What the fuck is going on?" Kravitz demands. 

"Well," Taako says, with deep conviction, and doesn't finish. He turns back to face Kravitz. That tail flicks dismissively, still somehow incredibly appearing to be legitimate. Kravitz eyes him over, takes in his elaborate and scrumbled suit-gown of purple and gold gossamer and his thighs high boots and his golden eye makeup and also the way he keeps glancing at Kravitz's pajama pants. 

"Well?" Kravitz prompts. "You realize you're in Austin, Texas?" 

"Nah, uh," Taako looks a little pale now. "Chaboi was in Phandolin, in uh, Faerun, the fuck is a Texas?" 

So true. 

"Don't you dare tell me you hopped through a portal in my closet like reverse Narnia." 

"Narnia?" 

Man. Maybe Kravitz will hit him with the lamp. Shame he's so pretty. 

"I don't have time for this," he mutters. "You always watch those fantasy movies and they just handle it, but I don't have- what am I supposed to do, call in an elf prince personal day? If I'm going to take an elf prince personal day you can bet- sorry, I…" Kravitz winces. Just because he wants this to be fake doesn't mean there isn't a situation at hand. 

"I mean, Taako is all for an elf prince personal day if it means what I think it means." Taako grins, showing surprisingly sharp teeth, which Kravitz feels totally regular about, no details thanks. "I was running from some assholes who wanted to murder me. I mean, I don't necessarily think monarchy is the way of the future either, but you don't see me assassing about it." 

"Well, no monarchy here." Kravitz can't help but be glib. He finally puts the stupid lamp down. Just on the bed. No way he's sleeping anytime soon. This makes the cord pull taut. His sad router just slumps onto the floor. Taako jumps and inspects its flashing lights, alarmed but also kind of fascinated. 

"No?" He glances at Kravitz, and back at the lights. "Sick. That sounds easier."

"Well, it's not like there's no- we don't have to do politics. Hey, Taako, if I take this as nonfiction, which I am not committed to, and do not faint, which I am also not committed to, what the fuck am I meant to do next?"

"I mean either we take that elf prince personal day, really make it count, or uh, you magic me back home, mister?" 

"Magic isn't real!" Kravitz runs his hands down his face, excruciatingly aware of the comedy of the situation. 

"Ah," Taako says, really tasting the gravity here. "Guess there's no option but to fuck me." 

"Now hang on," Kravitz says, struggling not to laugh. 

"No, I'm right, probably." 

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 2)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Under Age Drinking, Violence and being alone with a dangerous man. If I missed one just tell me.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.6K

Summary: Y/N isn’t much of a partier, but the promise of books gets her out of her room. What happens when a dangerous guest feels to make his presence known?

Masterlist

Parties are not Y/N’s definition of fun. They are noisy, crowded, sweaty, smelly and if her brother is the host for the evening, then she always manages to get roped into helping with the disastrous clean the next morning. The only time you could only ever find her at a party is if Lacey and Mason have bribed her with the offer of a free book.  

This is one of the times where the promise of a book spree has led Y/N to be in the car waiting for her brother at the liquor store on the Cut that doesn’t card people. She honestly isn’t even sure the store has a license. Marvin and Cassie Y/L/N are away for their yearly couples getaway that they have been going on since the twins were old enough to stay home alone. This year they are in Bali. Marvin is a corporate lawyer and Cassie is a successful author, so it is nice to get some time together, away from all responsibilities. Y/N doesn’t mind being on the Cut side of the island. She is not one to particularly care about the Pogues vs Kooks war. 

Mason makes his way back towards the car carrying multiple different bags. He puts them in the trunk and hops back into the driver’s seat. “Did you at least get me some hard kombucha or some sort of seltzer?” Y/N questions. The car starts moving and Mason glances towards his sister, “Of course, dude. I know you. Plus, I feel better knowing that your drinks are in a can. Less chances of someone tampering with it.” “You know, Mace, you are kinda sweet when you are all big brothery,” Y/N teases as she gives her brother a light punch to the arm. Mason smiles at his sister and the car falls quiet for a few minutes with the only sound coming from the radio. 

“You know Rafe really is trying to be more friendly to you,” Mason begins to break the silence but regrets it as soon as he sees the disapproving look on Y/N’s face, “Okay well he is kinda trying.” Y/N pauses the conversation to think about how she is going to answer. “Well, he’s doing a horrible job at it. It’s not that I despise him. I just hate the whiplash he gives me with the two personalities he has when he is around me,” she explains. Mason's face turns to confusion, “What do you mean?” “I mean that one minute he is annoying the shit out of me and then the next he does something nice for me. Like the other day with my phone or when we met or when he stole my cookie. For as long as I’ve known him, he has either been caring or a nuisance. Never just simply one or the other. Plus, I don’t love how he treats the pogues,” Y/N complains. “Right,” Mason agrees dully. All he wants is for his best friend and sister to get along. 

“It’s also his constant flirting with any female that so much as looks in his direction. Like I get that he’s hot but he doesn’t need to act like he is god’s gift to humankind,” Y/N continues. Mason completely understands what his sister means by that because Rafe is the stereotypical playboy, “Yeah, I get that. Dude, it’s not like I’m asking you to marry him. I don’t even want you guys to be in a romantic relationship, anyways. It would just be nice to not have to play advocate for you guys.”

——

Y/N is getting ready in her room while the boys get the alcohol prepared in the kitchen. “So your sister is coming tonight too, right?” Rafe asks Mason. Although he loves to tease Y/N, Rafe had an ‘only I can mess with her’ type of view. Also, Mason and Rafe had an unspoken agreement that Rafe would always keep an eye on Y/N whenever Mason couldn’t. It is important to both boys that she is safe and Rafe would rather cut off his left leg than let anything happen to his unconscious love. “Yeah. I’m going to be out, like, $200 because of the book spree I promised her but she agreed. “Okay, cool,” Rafe says and even though he tries to sound nonchalant about it, Mason could see the flash of excitement that went through Rafe’s eyes. 

He may not like to admit it, but Mason knows Rafe has an interest in his twin sister. However, he wasn’t sure if it was just lust or something deeper and more romantic than that. Either way, Mason is not going to risk his sister’s heart just in case it is the former. With what he saw from his best friend’s dating history, Rafe could never be the right person for Y/N because he has never taken any of his relationships past the friends-with-benefits/hook-up stage. 

Yet, Mason couldn’t possibly know what is passing through Rafe’s mind at that exact moment. What is the best way to keep an eye on Y/N without making her feel uncomfortable? How could he make sure that no boys make unwanted advanced toward her? Is there anything he could do to make her safer? Would she wear the carpenter pants that she loves because of all the pockets it has? Or would she wear the new dress she got last week that she was so excited about showing Mason when she got back home? How many different places could he hide her book if she brought one down with her? Could he trick her into drinking beer, which he knows she doesn’t like the bitter taste of? Rafe shakes his head as he tries to get himself out of the rabbit hole he’s gotten himself into. 

——

The Y/L/N residence is filled to the brim with Kooks and Tourons lucky enough to be invited by an island native. Music pounds into Y/N's head as she hands out drinks to anyone that asks. She finds it easier to stay in the kitchen and play host than actually try to engage in meaningless conversations. 

Her train of thought is interrupted by someone making their presence known to her from behind, “So, Y/L/N, is this your playlist that’s playing because I swear every song just sounds the same and is about breakups.” Y/N ignores the statement made by the taller boy and continues to hand the beer over to the person in front of her. She must be a Touron because Y/N has never seen her before. Y/N feels Rafe approach her as she hands the next boy in line a beer as well. 

Before the boy can grab the drink, Rafe reaches over her shoulder and grabs the can out of her hand. “Seriously, Rafe. What are you, four?” Y/N criticizes as she reaches for the drink, “You really aren’t very original you know.” Rafe could’ve sworn he saw, just for a millisecond, a playful look in Y/N’s eyes before it is replaced again with a serious and unamused look. After a few seconds of no luck, Y/N just reaches down for another can of beer and hands it to the intended recipient. 

Once the other boy is gone, Rafe finally sets the can down and goes in closer to her so that he is just on the edge of invading her personal space. “So, what books are you going to milk dry from your brother?” he asks as he goes to play with the bottom of her hair but thinks against it. He isn’t sure if it would make her uncomfortable. Little did Rafe know, Y/N thought of a way to get back at him for the teasing. She places her hand behind her back on the counter and grabs the beer Rafe just placed down. She quickly brings her hand back around and shakes the can, then opens it. The fizz dirties both of them, but the look of shock and slight annoyance on Rafe’s face makes it worth it. “Really, Y/L/N,” he complains as he shakes the drink off of his hands. Y/N giggles as she walks out of the kitchen to go change, “Maybe you should start keeping clothes in a drawer in Mason’s room. Like his girlfriend would do.” Before she is completely out of hearing range, Rafe shouts, “I’d much rather the drawer be in your room.” 

——

Y/N decides that she isn’t going to return to the party after she finished changing, so she makes her way to the hidden gazebo in the backyard. The music from the party is drowned out and the twinkle of the fairy lights brings her a feeling of calm. She sits in the dangling basket chair put up by her father for her to read and starts to read her book. 

She is so entranced by the book that she didn’t notice that Owen Taleman has made his way out to the gazebo as well. His golden brown hair is slicked back and his green eyes hold a dark look. It does not surprise her that he is wearing a full suit to a house party because the uptight man is rarely seen without one. While Rafe typically teases Y/N in a manner that hints at lovingness and playfulness, Owen’s teasing is laced with cruelty and mockery. No one is safe from the entitled prick; not even little children. Y/N is positive she once heard him insult a toddler’s shoes. “Of course, the little bitch reader is hiding out from the party,” Owen mocks as he struts his way toward her. 

Y/N may have been a reader and quieter than Mason, Lacey or Rafe, but she is not afraid to stand up for herself or defend herself. “At least I’m not an asshole who can't get my head out of my ass,” Y/N retorts. Owen’s face easily turns red and he gets right into Y/N’s face. The boy towers over her with a menacing look on his face. Y/N normally wouldn’t be nervous, but the fact that she is alone makes her understand the danger of the situation. 

Rafe’s eyes flicker through the crowd as he looks for Y/N. He didn’t see her leave her room and when he knocked, she didn’t answer. He begins to get worried as he has a bad feeling in his stomach. He spots Mason going up towards his room with a Touron girl. Rafe threads his way through the people quickly, “Yo, have you seen Y/N?” Even though Mason normally keeps an eye out for his sister, he made sure to give her her space. However, the look of worry on Rafe’s face instantly clues Mason in that something is wrong. Both boys abandon the unknown girl in search of Y/N. 

They searched everywhere in the house and concluded that she must have gone somewhere outside. The sight they are met with makes their blood boil. Owen’s face is close to Y/N’s and his hand is curled in a fist, ready to throw a punch. “Dude, you better back away from my sister before I make you,” Mason threatens as he advances toward the pair with Rafe going ahead of him. Owen distances himself a little from Y/N and turns towards the newcomers, “Oh look, it’s Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I’m surprised you both don’t have your tongues shoved down some whores mouth.” Owen didn’t realize that insulting her brother would anger Y/N into aggression, but he soon would. 

Upon hearing his words, Y/N taps Owen’s shoulder and punches him once he is facing her. When he comes back up, Owen’s nose is bleeding profusely and an embarrassed look is on his face. He is definitely the type of person to throw a fit about losing to a girl. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyers for this,” Owen yells as he stomps off of the Y/L/N property. “Go ahead, try! I promise mine are scarier!” Y/N retorts. 

Owen is out of sight when Y/N finally starts to process what could’ve happened if Mason and Rafe hadn’t come looking for her. Owen is a known hothead. Some could say even worse than Rafe. She goes to get comfort from the closest body to her, which happens to be Rafe. She tucks her head into his neck and wraps her arms tightly around his waist, “I think the adrenaline wore off. I was so scared when no one else was around. I didn’t know what to do.”

Rafe quickly wraps his arm around her shoulders and buries his face into her hair. The smell of her lavender shampoo hits his nose. “You’re okay. We’ve got you,” he soothes as he notices that Y/N began sniffling. He gently runs his fingers through her hair and shifts his weight from one leg to the other to rock the both of them. 

Mason is not an idiot. He may have believed his friend wasn’t capable of holding true romantic feelings for someone, but as he watches the domestic scene in front of him, there is no denying the two have some sort of chemistry. Mason could see the concern and love that are in Rafe’s eyes. Mason listens to the soft reassurances Rafe whispers in her ear and sees his sister slowly start to calm down. This is a side of Rafe that Mason has never seen before. 

Rafe’s eyes make contact with Mason’s and an unspoken conversation happens between the two. Mason goes back into the house, turns off the music and turns all the lights on, “Dudes! Party is over so get the fuck out of my house! You don’t have to go home, but you have to get out!” Disappointment can be heard throughout the crowd, but they quickly start filing out of the house because what one of the Kook princes wanted, they got. 

Y/N and Rafe watch from outside as people start to file out of the house. Most of the people are out of the house by the time Rafe leads Y/N back inside and into her room. He stands outside of her door like a bodyguard while he waits for her to change. She opens the door wearing an oversized shirt and some shorts. The shirt looks familiar and Rafe realizes that it is his Led Zeppelin shirt. She must have taken it from Mason because Rafe and Mason borrowed each others’ clothes enough times that they practically shared their closets. 

Rafe feels butterflies in his stomach as he realizes just how much he likes the idea of her wearing one of his shirts. “You know that’s my shirt right,” he smirks as he gets closer to the girl. She scrunches her nose in confusion and shakes her head, “Oh, I found it in Mason’s laundry. And it’s mine now. So you aren’t getting it back anytime soon. It’s comfy.” She wraps her hand around her waist protectively. Rafe slowly makes his way closer to Y/N as if he is approaching a fawn. He gently wraps his arms around her and smiles when she lets him. “I wasn’t asking for it back. You look good in it.” She feels a blush form on her cheeks and turns away from him. She leads him into her room and lies down on her bed. He follows her and waits for her to tell him what she wants him to do. “Can you stay until I fall asleep? I don’t feel like being alone right now,” she whispers as if she is scared of what he is going to say. 

Rafe nods his head and pulls her desk chair closer to the bed. He knows Y/N hates it when people wear outside clothes on her bed. She reaches her hand out for his and he takes it. And they just stay there looking at each other while she falls asleep. Rafe traces patterns onto her hand with his thumb. Once he sees she is asleep, he quietly gets up from the chair and goes downstairs to find Mason starting to clean up already.

Rafe starts to help with the cleanup by picking up the solo cups littering the floors. “So you do love her.” He hears from behind him. Mason stands at the doorway of the living room, leaning on the door frame. “Yeah, I do. I know it’s cheesy and unoriginal and probably wrong to say but I think I couldn’t commit to anyone else because my heart knows she’s the only one that can truly make it want to beat faster and stop at the same time. When I’m with her, time goes by so fast but I just want time to stop,” he confides to his best friend. “Right, and what is it about her that makes you like her?” Mason questions still wanting to make sure his friend’s feelings are genuine. 

The smile on Rafe’s face says it all, “I don’t think I could really pinpoint what it is. But she makes me happy and I love how she doesn’t treat me any differently because of who I am. She’s not afraid to stand up for herself and she’s the most caring and protective person I know. I mean she literally just punched Owen for me just to stand up for me and she doesn’t even like me.” Mason nods in understanding and resumes cleaning up. “Dude, I’m going to try to set you up with my sister. Now that I know how you truly feel, I trust that you will not hurt her feelings. But if she refuses to go out with you, then you have to promise to leave it at that and stop bothering her okay.” 

Rafe gives Mason an unsure look as he thinks the other boy is joking. “Are you sure? I mean I’ll totally back off if she says no once I get the courage to ask. Thank you so much,” he gives his appreciation to his friend. Rafe drops the garbage bag in his hand and runs to hug Mason. “Okay, so the first thing we can do to get you on Y/N/N's good side is finish cleaning the house before she wakes up. Cleaning messes after a party is literally one of her least favourite things when I throw a party. The boys spent a good three hours cleaning the house before they are finally ready to settle down for the night. 

——

Y/N expects the sun from the window to wake her up this morning but instead, she is woken up by the soft sound of music coming from downstairs. She quickly hops out of bed and completes her morning routine before pulling Mason’s swim team hoodie over her head. She thought she would see a complete mess as she makes her way to the source; however, she is delightfully surprised to see the house spotless. The girl finds the source of the music in the kitchen.

Rafe and Mason are in the kitchen making breakfast. “Good morning, Y/L/N. We wanted to make you your fave eggs benedict recipe of Lacey’s but we couldn’t figure out how to poach the eggs. So rather, we went with making waffles instead,” Rafe informs her then points towards Mason with a spatula, “Mason cut the strawberries. If you want bananas, then he is getting it ready right now. I also went out to get the fresh whipped cream and hot chocolate you like from that fancy grocery store.” She smiles at the boys and sits at the kitchen island, “Thank you! It smells so good and it was sweet of you to go to the store. Also, thanks for cleaning the house.” Rafe beams at the girl as he slides the cup of hot chocolate toward the girl. He knows he hasn’t done much to get on her good side yet, but he found it amazing that she is always polite, even to people she isn’t a big fan of. He takes the last waffle out of the waffle maker and sets it on her plate. He adds the fruits and whipped cream then gets cutlery for everyone. Once everything is ready for breakfast, everyone sits down and starts to eat. 

Throughout breakfast, Y/N kept thinking that Rafe would find some way to tease her. Whether it was about the amount of whipped cream she put on her waffle or the way she let out a satisfied sigh whenever she would take a sip out of her hot chocolate, she prepared herself for the worst. She is proven wrong though. Y/N and Rafe are actually able to have a conversation without fighting. Everyone finishes their breakfast and since the boys cooked, Y/N cleans up for them. “Hey Y/L/N, Mace and I are going to head to the pool to get some training in. Do you wanna come?” Rafe asks her. He is hopeful that she will say yes, except he knows she doesn’t particularly enjoy swimming laps. She looks over her shoulder to him, “No, I’m going to go to the beach. We can meet up for lunch though if you want.” Upon hearing her offer to make plans with him later, Rafe becomes overjoyed at the fact that she wants to spend more time with him. But he doesn’t know Y/N spending time on the beach alone leads to an encounter that will rid him of his happiness and hope. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

[lieutenant-teach]

‘Master & Apprentice’ book – a Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan story, featuring Rael Averross. From the outside, it looks like a quite Jedi-positive book – it’s written from Jedi’s POV, Jedi are protagonists. But during reading it’s clear that the book is haunted by typical for many Jedi-centric fics and books false takes; more specifically in this book, they are – shitting on the Jedi Council, ‘love vs attachment’ problem, ‘it’s not how the Force works’ problem, repeated fanon interpretations, ‘child-stealing’, and more.

Now on each of the points above. Spoilers ahead.

1.The Jedi Council is depicted (as per our ol’ nice familiar pattern) as full of bureaucrats who allow all bad things in the Galaxy happen (as they probably sip wine in the Temple scrolling holo-pads with space TikTok, I guess). And, of course, Qui-Gon is the only one who remains close to the Force as a True Jedi ™ should. “Qui-Gon knew the Council to be wrong about many things. He felt they’d allowed the Jedi Order to become a sort of chancellor’s police, rather than concentrating on knowing the Force. Yes, they were wise to refuse to rule—but unwise to simply accept the status quo. Short-sighted, to lose touch with the living Force by spending so much of their time and energy on enforcing laws that could as easily be left to civilian authorities. Immoral, to refuse to act against evils such as slavery.” I would be very glad to have it attributed to ‘unreliable narrator’, but I haven’t seen it debunked in the book by Qui-Gon himself or anyone else. So I conclude it’s supposed to be ‘the objective truth’.

2. Rael Averross is a very much clear foil of Anakin (was taken too old, has problems with attachments, dangerously reckless – had to kill his Padawan because he ignored the Council protocols). He’s also depicted as ‘so different from the other Jedi because he wears casual clothes & keeps his accent’ – bullshit. Depa Billaba also appears in the book and she wears her traditional make-up! Also others from different SW media have some markings of their cultures – Shaak Ti and Ahsoka wear Togruta headdresses, Luminara and Barriss have whole Mirialan outfits and tattoos, Quinlan also has Qiffar tattoos of his clan, and these are only the most prominent examples. Same as Ayala Secura keeps her Twi’lek accent – so again, Rael isn’t so special. Even within the Council – Mace and Obi-Wan have different accents, and Yoda has a whole different speech pattern.

Of course, the question of ‘love’ is touched heavily upon. Rael claims that the Jedi shouldn’t love – but at the same time he says the Jedi love their Padawans/friends/etc. Choose the stance you stand on, author – can Jedi love or not? Especially taking in consideration that Rael’s attachment to his mistake with his Padawan blinds him to the point he’s ready to sacrifice the planet’s people in favour of ‘righting’ his own past failure attributing it to Fanry. Also, I think Rael confuses ‘love’ and ‘fucking’, claiming Jedi are not allowed to fall in love. What did Obi-Wan say in TCW? “It’s not that we’re not allowed to have these [romantic] feelings, it’s natural”. The Jedi shouldn’t allow feelings cloud their judgement, that’s it. Either the author doesn’t understand it, or Rael.

3. In this book we read the whole prophecy about the Chosen One. Aaand it tells about ‘Jedi sins’ – again this idiotic idea from Legends that Jedi were at fault of their destruction! ‘It will bring balance of light and dark’ – it’s not how the Force works! It’s not Yin/Yang!

4. Dooku didn’t leave the Order because he disagreed with the Jedi! He left because he disagreed with the Senate! Come on, it’s right in the main media! It’s so fucking infuriating when official authors blindly repeat fanon interpretations.

And then some say ‘the books are printed, therefore canonical’. No, if they claim smth that is outright different in canon – they’re ‘paid fanfiction’, nothing more.

5. A weird moment when the child stealing argument is brought up, and not only Qui-Gon doesn’t refute it, but says he didn’t have any voice in choosing the Jedi way of life, although he loves it now. And it’s portrayed as sad and melancholic. So, in my eyes, this book proves that Jedi are ‘baby-stealers who indoctrinate kids’.

6. How old is Qui-Gon? Lucas says 60 in TPM. Wookiepedia – 48 in TPM. The book claims Liam Neeson’s age during TPM – 48, and is set 8 years prior to TPM, as Obi-Wan is said to be 17, so according to the book, Qui-Gon must be 56 in TPM. Who to believe?

The only point I LOVED without any qualms – how Obi-Wan began to hate flying. Awesome story!!!

[lolotr]

fanfic author 20 questions!

I am late to the party, but i was tagged by @shadowquill17, thanks my love <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

162,166 total words! Not too shabby

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for a bunch of fandoms, but these days it's mostly Dead Boy Detectives. in theory i have other fandoms, but none that i'm so feral for at the moment

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all of them are DBD which is kind of astonishing to me, this fandom never ceases to amaze 1. after the insects have laid their claim 2. like breathing 3. terms of endearment 4. a certain step towards falling in love 5. you can throw a party full of everyone you know

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes, every single one, no matter how old the fic is! i might be a little slow or miss one every so often, but i really try hard to respond to every one i get. comments mean the absolute world to me, so i want to thank everyone who takes time out of their day to tell me they enjoyed my work <3 <3 i also LOVE when fanfic writers respond to me, so i assume other people do, too

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am an angst with a happy ending sort of bitch, but probably one of the fics i wrote during the Nothing Much To Do Radio Silence (TM) when we were all losing our minds with no updates. haven't read those in forever, so maybe Something to Do, Someone to Blame? or maybe it isn't cinema that i wrote for Nothing Like the Sun? or maybe Tropes for Keleidotrope?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gosh, so many. again, i write mostly happy ending stuff, so it's hard to pick just one. maybe my fourth favorite public building to visit, if i had to pick one that hasn't been mentioned already. though after the insects have laid their claim has a VERY happy and corny ending that i will forever be proud of haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank goodness

9. Do you write smut?

yeah! i'm new to it, but it's a lot of fun

10. Do you write crossovers?

not usually, but i'll stick characters from one universe into a similar universe because something resonates (like Heartstopper Squared or The Quest of the Maddening Mace), but i don't usually write characters meeting or anything like that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! *fingers crossed*

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but if anyone wants to do so, just make sure to tag me in it and go right ahead!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! i have stuff in progress (that we haven't worked on in a while sorry @courfaeriedust) but i've also definitely written collabs that i've published, i think?

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Charles and Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives have such a special place in my heart, and I really hope this hyperfixation doesn't go anywhere, but in terms of pure longevity? Merlin and Arthur from BBC Merlin. I've been reading that shit for a decade. Special shoutout to Alex and Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Drew and Harrison from Keleidotrope, because I'm still insane about you all too, don't worry.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

THAT IS QUITTER TALK AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. but to give a kind of cutesie answer, i'm not sure i'll ever be done with the libraryverse. there's so much story there, and i keep having ideas for it, so maybe i'll be able to keep playing in it forever. that would be kind of nice.

16. What are your writing strengths?

why are you making me say nice things about myself. why. overall, i think i'm good at dialogue. i actually wrote a whole manuscript in instant messages because i love writing dialogue so much. i'm pretty good at getting into characters' voices, whether they're my own or someone else's, and i find a lot of joy in writing everything from banter to flirting to meaningful conversations (but some of those are easier than others lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action, descriptions, things that aren't dialogue. i also tend to keep my writing kind of short, so i don't always allow for moments to breathe the way they should.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

woooooof the only other language i speak is hebrew (and not amazingly well) so probably not. if i ever got good enough at another language, maybe? but english is my first and by far my strongest language, so I don't think i'd ever be able to express myself well

19. First fandom you wrote for?

as far as i remember, Lord of the Rings. (no you will never find it.)

20. Favorite fics you’ve written?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE, THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN. how about this, you tell ME what your fave stories of mine are, because im tired of linking things. and because i thrive on praise lol

i am too lazy to tag people specifically, so anyone who writes fic is welcome to answer!

[polysucks]

I feel like I'm the only person interested in the idea of how it would have looked long term if Margaery had been able to keep playing Joffrey via his sadistic murder fetish. Like how would she have used that to control him and how would it have changed her, too? How would it have affected the way he ruled to have a supportive partner who he perceived liked (maybe even loved) him for the most twisted part of himself and helped him use that as an outlet for his sadism? Why are there no fanfics about this??? Why do I have to write one myself eventually?? I don't think I could do it justice but it's fucking fascinating and I can't stop thinking about it.

I have a few thoughts about margaery lemme get my notes and just ramble them off. My autism is really vibrating with this one.

Why is mace Tyrell so obsessed with getting marg on the throne? I mean there’s a complicated history there with mace Tyrell and Robert Baratheon. I’m also a little confused about how renly fits into this as well? The plan is giving Anastasia (1997)

Renly: *is a twink* oh no Mace how are we going to yeet my brother off the throne after he already yeeted that other guy for the throne?

Mace: man I got this hot daughter maybe we can distract Robert with my hot, hot, so fucking hot daughter and when he’s not looking we can take his chair out from under him.

Renly: *still a twink* yeah totally I mean Robert do be getting distracted by insanely hot, hot, hot women like all the time

Mace: bro tell me my incredibly sexy hot daughter looks just like ur brother’s dead gf that he has been unhealthily idolizing for the last 14 years

Renly: sure maybe idk I like cock but I’ll ask a guy who would know

Later

Renly: hey does my hot cockless (I checked) hot hot female sexy hot babe of a teenage wife look like ur dead sister or what

Ned:

Renly:

Ned: i remember when u used to wet the bed

Renly: so is that a no….?/

So like when robert dies, why does she stay saddled up to renly? Like is that the honest to god best political decision to be making? Renly is spindly and has not-zero pull in this pissing contest of a war, but not much more than that. So ?////??/? Was the plan to bide her time? And if so, why in the show was she so desperate to be the vessel for twinkboy’s heir? What was the move there? Was she proud of that one?

Yeah so when renly dies, send Littlefinger the Jeffrey Epstein of Westeros to claim the twink’s 14 yr old bride. That sounds like a great idea. But I digress.

Who approved the decision for this 14 year old girl to marry Actual Evil Villain Joffrey? Because *not on the phone w the fbi* I just wanna talk.

But like also? Maybe she can match his freak a lil. I mean in the show I couldn’t tell if she was like. Subtly encouraging joffrey’s fuck ass weird serial killer shit or if she was actually using her wits n tits to manipulate him into not being such a loser fucking demented freak? but I mean like either way babey werk queen house burn the boots down slayyy cunty arm chair yassssss 💅 mamaaaa

WHAT IS HER GAME?

What is the end goal here? So let’s look at both sides leading up to joffrey’s death. Maybe she’s just neutral good? The Tyrells are so sweet. Generally mild mannered, and in court no one truly has much negative to say about them. Willas is a sweetie, Olenna is doted upon, Loras is a hoot n a half, marg is a super hot 14 year old, and also Mace is there. And like the vibes aren’t totally cooked in king’s landing for mace either even tho he put his entire cock inside robert’s 20 yer old bussy at the battle of ashford during the rebellion bc when robert usurped the king mace was still like “bro sure u can borrow 20$ and never pay me back it’s cool bro.”

Maybe marg is here to genuinely keep a lid on the boiling pot which is kings landing under joffrey (Cersei’s) rule. Maybe marg genuinely uses joffrey’s violence, abhorrent personality and his weak fucking will,, to be the true ruler of the realm? The woman behind the man, the hand within the puppet, if you will.

What could she accomplish with that?

She could free Sansa, assist with safe passage to the north, and save the territory of the North by giving House Stark the right to their rein. If marg plays her cards right, and if she truly wanted to go this route, she could possibly end the entirety of the war simply by appeasing Robb King in the North. But that’s so insanely unlikely Robb wouldn’t easily be persuaded by marg in any capacity, even pre-jeyne westerling, because the only thing that could possibly be wielded against Robb in an honest to god strategic move would be her sense of honor and duty—and Robb would have a legitimate leg to stand on considering what sort of honor and duty might be held at high regard for a woman so willing to look past joffrey’s affronts to mankind simply to oversee his rule.

She wouldn’t cure king’s landing of its sycophant infestation, but I would like to think she could quell the treachery for some periods of time. Like I wonder if with joffrey’s urges controlled by marg exactly how much would this fuckin reign accomplish? What could joffrey do differently, or positively for his kingdom? His wife tells him she wants to feed the orphans. He goes “yeah sure whatever” and then what happens? She feeds the orphans? Or will Cersei use her magic decent-human-detecting pussy to some insane fucking convoluted manipulation to not let marg throw apples at children w dead parents? Either way wtf this can go on for as long as any of them live. It’s a real Waterboy type dynamic and marg is Fairuza Balk.

But what if this bitch was actually Ramsay Bolton evil? (Personal fave) what if she can really match joffrey’s freak? What if she likes carving up pregnant cats, too? What if marg got that dog in her (Targaryen blood. Bc she do. She got that Hightower shit from her mom’s side) and she’s as batshit as they come? What if she likes watching joffrey brutalize baelish’s girls? 👀 (heyyyy fic writers that one’s for free. hmu, u got my number. what’s good bb)

What can she do with this?

Kill Cersei. Eat her. Ya gotta get slutty Mrs. Voorhees out of the equation.

Fmk, five kings version quick don’t think about it just say it out loud girl. just fuck n kill them all? Oh word good luck w stannis he hates pussy and he’s bald.

Have joffrey’s cat-carving children, begin the next line of targaryens bc there’s gonna be some whack dynamic where the kids’ punnet squares will be labeled “Evil,” “stupid,” “intelligent,” and “kind-hearted.” Also a lot of weird incest and sister-fucking. And twins. Twins EVERYWHERE. Imagine that fuckin bleak period of Westerosi reigning power histories. What would the Lannister version of Fire & blood read like? Fucking clown shoes is what that would look like.

Aye any of you fic writers got some political science degrees? I have some questions.

[fangirlforeversthings]

Obi wan anakin and ahsoka family soap blurb

So i just rewatched one of @zengers star wars ai videos on youtube (which i can only highly recommend they're the best) and heard obi wan calling anakin and ahsoka 'kids'. And this combined with their relationship what was always big bro little sister and their tired single dad i had an idea of soap about obi wan ahsoka and anakin and their daily life:

Anakin and ahsoka being the kids, anakin the older broher and ahsoka the younger sister and obi wan is their tired single dad raising them (also the mom role with their mom satine already passed away who had loved her beloved kids and husband uncondicionally and was so fun and warm and sweet and is missed every day so badly) and r2 d2 being their pet which dad never wanted but the kids found it lost without a home and begged him that they please could keep it an that they would ofc take care of it (obi dad has to take it on walks and feed it and we know it) but in the end he still loves it aswell. Yoda being their unhinged great grandvather already in retirement home telling dirty jokes at the dinner table on thanksgiving and qui gon being their grandfather living nearby teaching them dumb shit joining them on their stupid adventures. Mace windu being their neighbour who hates kids but especially them two who always destroy his peace and quite, windows and lawn. Yelling over the fence to kenobi to get his fucking brood in control while they always play pranks on him all the time. Padme being anakins girlfriend, rex their cousin and cody, quinlan and obi single dad besties, a bros since childhood trio.

Them (the kids and the dad bros) spreading chaos wherever they go. Kids making the dumbest decisions and going on the stupidest adventures together every day, going on their dads very last nerve and not listening to him most of the time. Them accidently almost blowing up the entire city by trying to get him the best gift for fathers day/ his birthday (they probably forgot it in the first place and gotta apologice) trying to show him how much they love and appreciate him and how sorry they are. They would do everything for him and love him uncondicionally. Obi dad sometimes even joining them on their dumb adventures or himself making the stupid decicions and them experiencing all kinds of chaotic days in normal day to day life.

Episodes where the dad bestie trio and all their kids together go on roadtrips camping and get lost and then get chased by a moose through the woods while some funny song playing the background. Or a funny day trip and then at the drive home anakin would be like "...and that was so funny you should have heard that loud splash when i threw her into the fountain, she was so mad tho. But it was so worth it cause it was sooo funny" "Well certainly not for your poor, soaking wet sister" "oh by the way while we are talking about her....where is she?" "What do you mean anakin? She's right th..." and obi dad then turning blank white in the face after looking in the backmirror while driving realising they had forgotten her in the hotel lobby (still dripping wet) and him than doing a 360. turn weels screaching and yeeting of to get her. Her pouting all the way home and obi wan apologizing the whole time "dear i'm so sorry i don't know how that could have happen your brother was going on my nerves with the pool animal and" and anakin just laughing.

Then in the end of the episodes they'd be sitting on the couch in the living room like "dad you know that we love you so much thank you for being the best of all dads" and these were the rare moments they'd be so serious and he'd be like "aw kids even tho you k*ll my very last nerve every day of course i love you guys too more than everything and i could never imagine my life without you two in it" "and r2" "yeah ofc and r2" and then after a cute warm cuddle anakin would say something like "even tho you're old as f*ck" and crack the moment with the invicible audience laughing and obi dad shaking his head sighing and laughing and then the episode ends.

Just their daily life that would be an awesome, fantastic family comedy soap.

Any show title ideas anyone?

[whitecreekvalley-if]

How would the important characters (not just the ROs, I wanna know about old man G, too!) react/behave if the MC came with a young child in tow? Not necessarily from the Ex storyline, could even just be a kid they've sorta adopted, but I'm curious.

I love it when people wanna hear about old man G <3

Charles would be the type of old man who warms up slowly, like, starts off with harrumphs when given flower crowns or asked to color something. But catch him teaching the young'un the tricks of the trade that he learned as a wee lad, and you know the grumpy old fella would protect that kid with his very life. (Might let them name a calf before the MC, even)

Mace would be over the moon because it's been a long time since he got to teach the younger generation about his way of life. You know, hard work and all that, but mostly his zest for life and love for the animals in their care, how nature works. Plus he'd have a reason to pull out ye olde trampoline. Not something a grown man can do for himself you know?

Alice doesn't exactly know how to act around kids, but she'd try her best once she and MC got closer. Might need to be smacked in the arm when she curses (imagine the "ah shit - wait no, sorry, fuck - I - argh" scenario) but she wants to be the cool kinda aunt for MCs kid. Every time she meets them, they're gonna learn something new and exciting about the town, she'll make sure of that. Might even come up with a little drink for them.

Kinda just wanna say Judge wouldn't really react, just acknowledge the child and move on, but that's no fun. His line of work doesn't really mesh well with the youngest generation, but at least he'd make sure the entire little family is safe, in his own way. Imagine the kid wanting to hear the wee woo and see the lights and him just begrudgingly obliging. That's the ultimate firm of respect lol.

Sadie would ask questions. Like does MC need help getting full custody, is the paperwork airtight, check for loopholes - she's just nice like that because she does NOT know how to deal with kids unless they're from her family tree. Unless the kid was good at debating, then she'd be there all day holding court with the little genius. She'd do her darndest to teach everything she knows too, the kid's gonna be a law whiz before 10.

BONUS!

Soledad would be the kids grandma no doubt. Watch her wobble over with her cane all the way to the ranch just to deliver a homemade nicuatole as a 'welcome to the valley' present. Will babysit in a heartbeat, and oh boy that child would learn so much from her, all from sheep shearing to cooking. I kinda wanna see it.