#lowkey hyperventilating rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lullaebies · 1 year ago

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Helaegon prompt. Aegon tries to comfort Helaena post B&C.

Oh anon, you just gave me way too much freedom with angst and pain. Thank you - and also, ahead of time, I'm sorry. 😂 [half way through writing rn: I am REALLY REALLY sorry] TW's: mentioned body gore, child's death, lowkey mental breakdown

Aegon steps into room, his dread woven into his heavy stomps. The sounds of whimpers and sobs are heard all throughout the Keep, already a resounding dirge for what he knows expects him within. He doesn't want to believe it. He can't believe it, not unless he sees. It was our time. All was going well; all was finally changing.

Why? Why their son?

The room is so dark. The curtains were drawn, and only the last ember of their fireplace remained alight. His servants told him; Helaena is nearby catatonic, and refuses to let go of the body, nor let anyone beside it. But when he sees her, she's so still. The blood stains the floor beside her, flowing on the carpet and at the hem of her dress. She's weeping bitterly, he hears. She is holding him, Aegon realizes, as he sees little feet laying limp against her arm. "Helaena," his voice trembles. His fear is so loud, and her weeps grow quiet as she hears him. He swallows it down, but tears still pool in his eyes as he approaches. It's just half a turn on his heel, when he sees the cut-off of a neck. As if a headsman himself has come to execute his boy, for a horrible crime.

He was just my son; that was his crime. Aegon's knees grow weak, and he falls to them as it all crashes on him. He can't breathe, but he must. He reaches for the boy's lifeless hand. Helaena clutches the body closer, hyperventilating. "No." His tears cascade almost freely. Guilt ran down his being; Jaehaerys died for his crown. He wasn't even here to see, but his entire being is on fire; and Helaena, who has been ice, seems to be melting into their boy, like a mother hen trying to revive a broken egg. "We need to take him to Silent Sisters," Aegon says, ashamed, afraid, in pain. Need to send him away; even though he says as much, he doesn't want to, either. He just got him back. I just got him at all. "No," Helaena says again, as he touches the side of him. "Helaena, please!" "No!" She screams at him. "They already took his head! They took him away from me," she weeps. "No more. Please, no more.." she cries bitterly and folds over their son. Aegon has been so afraid to face her, for so many years. So scared of hurt of resentment, of hurt of rejection from the children. What wouldn't he do, to turn the wheel back, to face them in any way, but this. "No more," he says, trying to reach for her. "There'll be no more," as he affirms she cries louder, and tries to push him away, but he catches her by the shoulders. "They forced me to pick," she says. "I didn't want them dead. They forced me to pick," she trembles as she recounts. "Or they'll rape Jaehaera, or they'll-" she nearly collapses. "It didn't even matter." He brings his hands around her. "It was my fault, I couldn't protect them," Helaena finally says, and Aegon is enraged.

"No," he says, and brings his forehead against hers. It was my fault, he thinks, as their tears mesh on their cheeks. "Not you," he tells her again. "Never you." She sobs loudly when the tears fall bitterly on their son's body. "Those responsible will pay their debts," he says in his wroth. They'll die; his sister, his uncle, and their brood. He too, if need be. He too, if this be his karma. "But those will never be you." Helaena's head drops onto his shoulder, her body wracked with sobs. Holding her tight, the embers of the fire die out; and all is dead. In the realm of the Stranger, all that is known is pain and grief. And if that is the realm that is left to him, he'll take his reaper's scythe and reap what has been sowed.

#i cried writing this oop #im SO SORRY ANON #helaegon #aegon ii x helaena #helaena x aegon ii #helaena targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #hotd #my fics #my drabbles #answered #gosh im in immense pain #requests

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you-will-return · 2 years ago

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y'all.... Y'ALL!!!!!

I'm sitting in the train rn so I have some time to write this:

So I arrived at the I Prevail/ BC show super early today (~14:45) but I thought to myself, hey I should go shopping beforehand, bc I didn't know how hungry I'd be in 4 hours

So I go to the Lidl nearby and get my Studentenfutter. There's a line at the cash register and the guy in front of me kinda looks me up and down as I approach but I'm like fuck this no human interaction for me today.

Then I see his BC crew jacket and I'm like, huh WEIRD and take a closer look at his profile while he's checking out the magazines next to us. TURNS OUT IT WAS FUCKING ALEKSI. GUYS WHAT THE FUCK.

So I'm standing there just... hyperventilating I GUESS. Thinking: you can't talk to him, he's buying waffles and cereal bars, you can't talk to him.... HOLY FUCK IT'S ALEKSI.

(Btw this man does not put the grocery separators on the checkout counter belt thingy... I was judging him so hard ngl)

So he pays before me and I pay for my stuff in a rush and I have like half of a plan at that point and so I dash after him (gracefully and non-stalkerly). And as I'm walking behind him (he walks incredibly slowly btw), I kind of approach him and, well here's what I still remember:

Me: Scuse me?

Aleksi, turns around: Hm?

Me: Aleksi, right?

Him, smiling confusedly: Yeah.

Me: Holy fuck. Um... (brain might have stopped working at this point) Could you tell me where the venue is? (Genuinely it was my first time there and Leipzig is confusing T.T)

Aleksi: Yeah sure. It's down the street and then it's that building over there.

Me, only having half-listened: Oh okay. Thank you.

Aleski: No problem.

Ngl his description wasn't that great and I still had to lowkey check every few minutes to see if he was still behind me but jfc I talked to Aleksi and didn't die on the spot!!!!

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killherkillherkillher · 2 years ago

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tw sh mention

im supposed to be in class but im in the bathrooms instead cause i had a panic attack not long ago, in the stall next to me there's two girls talking about triggering stuff but its lowkey so comforting. theyre gossiping abt stuff but also talking about their insecurities and also one of them had an ed. its triggering hearing someone talk so mindlessly about it and it feels bad but also its like extremely comforting?? its like total opposite feelings at the same time. idk but this made feel ok. it made me stop sh-ing and hyperventilating and it all went away. im just listening to them like if they were my friends. they have no idea of how much they are helping me rn they prob dont even know im still here. and i like it that way. but i wish i could thank them

#🦴mine #ana rant #ed rant #ed but not sheeran #ed vent #tw ana vent

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toffoliravioli · 2 years ago

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i can’t even watch it because i’m at work and i’m literally stressing rn 😭

Im forcing myself to watch it even tho I’m lowkey hyperventilating

#devs lb #devils lb

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knittinglizards · 2 months ago

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definitely pulled something in my back this week :/ lowkey if i take any breath deeper than hyperventilating rn i have to actively restrain a pained grunt

#p #i don't want to go to the doctor.....!!!

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dangerkittenclaws · 1 month ago

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i need to eat but i god forsaken dont know what to eat and i dont know if my stomach can literally do anything snd im lowkey a lil tipsy rn and the amount of oxygen in my brain is very little :/ (or too much) ? Whatever one is hyperventilating yk

#dangerkittenthoughts

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terriblygrimm · 3 years ago

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I’M SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#lowkey hyperventilating rn #a complex litigation case we’ve had for three years might be settling………#me @ me: dont get excited bitch dont get carried away #also me: MiGJHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!€#*frothing at the mouth scrwaming crying throwing up*#this case has been tbebane of my fucking existence every god damn day for 3 years #i literally cant wven fathom settling #it seekms too good to be true #PLS MAY THE FORCE BE WITH ME ON THIS DAT

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binch-i-might-be · 2 years ago

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my body feels bad in. most ways. I think

#now it's burning because i scratched so much but it's also still itching and my stomach feels weird from hyperventilating #and i'm lowkey cold but im that way where you know you shouldn't be cold because it's warm #making dinner rn. food shall help #rayrambles

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corrieguards · 2 years ago

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Not to be dramatic, but I am lowkey hyperventilating rn.

I remember reading you Jesse fic 'Friends don't kiss like that' and thinking about it for weeks after because it was so so good. You are so talented babe, you have no idea what this means to me🥹💙💙

Confessions

Captain Rex x f!reader Summary: Fives not so accidentally lets the cat out the bag that the captain has a crush on you. Not quite knowing how to deal with this new information, you start avoiding Rex like the plague. He notices and decides to confront you about it. Word count: 2,6k T/W: none A/N: I am, and always will be, a sucker for soft!Rex so I hope you like this self-indulgent fic as much as I liked writing it <3. Also please enjoy the awkward Rex gif. He is too cute and needs to be shared as much as possible. my masterlist

Being assistant medic to the 501st meant you had a lot of dirt on a lot of troopers. The things these men were capable of coming out with when they were under even the lightest of meds never ceased to amaze you. It was like they lost their filter (not that the had much of one to begin with) and would just blurt out whatever came to their mind without a second thought.

You still remember when Tup had come to after being unconscious and admitted in a fit of giggles that you were “The prettiest girl he’d ever met”

Or that one time you’d had to stay overnight with Hardcase in the med bay after giving him some pretty strong pain meds. You’d spent your whole shift listening to him babble on about some girl who was apparently the love of his life and the one thing he couldn't live without. Later on when you were relaying the story to Kix you found out that he wasn’t talking about a girl at all, rather about his favourite DC-17 blaster that he insisted on carrying with him everywhere.

Anyway, the point was that you were used to having all these weird and random things thrown at you by the clones, so much so that you actually found yourself looking forward to hear what they were going to come out with this time. You were prepared for anything these men would throw at you. Or so you thought.

—

You were currently caring for Fives. He’d got knocked out by a detonator during the last mission, so as soon as you saw him start to open his eyes you rushed over to his side.

“Hey there trooper, how’re you feeling?”

He frowned up at you confused “Am I dead? Is this heaven?”

“Nope sorry Fives. You’re still very much alive” You chuckled “Just got a bit knocked up is all, but I’ll have you right in no time”

He groaned as he started to sit up “Are you sure? Could’ve sworn I was dead. You look like an angel right now”

Gently pressing on his shoulder you tried to get him to lay back down. He huffed but complied, letting you push him back and watching as you dipped a cloth in cold water, gently dabbing it on the gash that went from his temple to his jaw.

You talked to him as you worked, a gentle smile on your face “Trust you to almost die and then the first thing you do when you wake up is flirt with your medic. ”

“Oh no no. I wouldn’t dare flirt with the Captains' favorite medic”

He hissed when you pressed a little too hard on his wound. “Ow, what the hell-?

“What did you just say?”

He scowled up at you “I said ow-”

You shook your head at him “No no, before that. What did you say about Rex?”

“About you being his favourite medic?” he said frowning at you confused when you nodded in response

“Yeah, that”

“I thought it was obvious”

Now it was your turn to frown at him “What’s obvious?”

He lets out an incredulous laugh at your obliviousness, only making you more impatient “Fives, you better tell me what the hell you're talking about?”

“Oh come on, everybody knows the captains got a thing for the pretty little medic”

You freeze, eyes quickly dropping back to the cloth in your hand. “Don’t be ridiculous Fives” you mutter, pointedly going back to cleaning his wound.

He grabs your wrist to stop you, a disbelieving look on his face “Wait- Do you really not know?”

“Don’t mess with me, Fives.” you shake you hand free from his grasp “It’s not funny”

He looks taken aback by the coldness in your voice before a look of realisation crosses over his face. “You like him…” he whispers as if it’s the biggest secret in the galaxy

You blush slightly “No I don’t, I just- well I just-” you clear your throat, avoiding his eyes “I just respect him that's all.”

Fives lets out a chuckle “Bullshit. You like him!"

Shushing him quickly, you glance around at the other troopers in the med bay “Not so loud for kriff sake” you whisper at him harshly. This only makes him smile wider, pointing at your face and exclaiming loudly

“You do! You like Rex!”

You grab his finger angrily, shoving it back down “Ok fine I do. Now can you please shut up before the whole GAR finds out"

He smirks but settles down anyway "I knew it"

You scoffed, picking the cloth back up and wetting it again "Sure you did Fives"

"Did too" he replies smugly. You smile, shaking your head and getting back to work cleaning up his cut. After a few moments silence he breaks it again

"He likes you back y'know"

"Mhm I'm sure he does"

He sits up indignantly "It's true!"

"Fives…" you warn quietly

"I'm serious. He talks about you all the time when he's drunk. And he stares at you so often that it's actually kinda embarrassing"

You pulled back, staring into his eyes and searching for any hint that he's messing with you but were surprised to see him completely serious. A very rare sight for Fives.

Swallowing nervously you take in a shaky breath "Does he really like me?"

"Mhm he sure does. Tries to pretend he doesn't but we all know Rex can't keep a secret to save his life"

That gets a laugh out of you because it's so true. It's actually one of the things you love about Rex. The way he stutters and blushes anytime he tries to tell even the smallest of lies is something you find insanely cute and endearing.

You’d liked him for a long time, and who could blame you? This was Rex we were talking about. Handsome blond Captain Rex.

There was no chance of anything happening between you two. You’d accepted that and were content on just admiring him from a distance, occasionally sharing a few conversations, a couple glances from across the room. Never anything more.

But what Fives had just said lit a small flicker of hope in you. Hope was bad, very bad. Hope meant that you couldn't keep ignoring your little crush and pretending it didn't exist.

Hope meant you actually stood a chance.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts before you could get too carried away in your fantasy.

"It doesn't really matter, it's not like anything could happen between us anyway"

Fives gaze snapped to you "What are you talking about? You two would be so good together"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." you rolled your eyes at him

"Then what are you talking about?"

" I'm talking about what would happen if someone found out. Rex would be court-martialed Fives, you know what that means right?"

Fives open his mouth to answer you but you cut him off before he had a chance "This is his whole life Fives, I can't expect him to risk everything for me like that."

There was a moment's silence before Fives softly replied "Maybe he'd think you're worth the risk"

—

It had been a couple rotations since your interaction with Fives, and you had been trying desperately to avoid both him and the Captain, so far succeeding in both.

But as if he insisted on not leaving you alone, Fives voice kept echoing in your head. Repeating the same sentences over and over. Even though you tried to ignore it, it kept coming back and haunting you.

"Everybody knows the captains got a thing for the pretty little medic"

As if your thoughts had summoned him, the very same handsome captain you'd just been thinking about strolled through the mess hall door. His eyes doing a quick sweep of the room, giving you a double take upon seeing you and decidedly walking over to your table.

You quickly ducked your head down, panic beginning to rise in your chest. What if Fives had spoken to him? What if he'd told him about you silly little crush? What if-

Rex's shadow looming over you made you look up, eyes instantly locking with his and taking your breath away. Stars, those eyes.

"He stares at you so often that it's actually kinda embarrassing”

"Hey" his voice shook you from your thoughts "Haven't seen you around much lately"

"Yeah…" you chuckled nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear " Um Kix has been keeping me pretty busy the last couple days"

"Oh." He slipped into the seat across from you "Well if he's working you extra y'know I can always stop by and have a chat with him."

"No no" you shake your head quickly "It's fine. Hard work’s what I sign up for after all"

Rex looks at you doubtfully, taking in your tired eyes and dark circles "Are you sure? You look pretty tired"

"I'm fine Rex." You smiled reassuringly "Promise"

"Okay, if you say so… Y'know I'm actually kinda relieved. Thought you'd been avoiding me or something" he chuckled, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

You stiffened and quickly looked back down at the table. His smile flattered. "But you haven't… right?"

Getting ready to answer you took in a shaky breath " Um…" You stalled trying desperately to come up with some excuse but his worried gaze was making it hard to think of anything

Suddenly you're comm chimed, breaking the tension and making you both jump. You stood up quickly "Sorry Rex, I've gotta go. Duty calls"

He looked taken aback as you hurried towards the door.

"We'll catch up some other time" you said over your shoulder. You heard his voice calling your name, only prompting you to walk faster.

Making it out into the corridor you heard your name again, this time louder. The med bay was just around the corner, if you could just make it there before he caught you, you would be fine

Breaking into a soft jog, you panicked when you heard his own heavy footsteps matching your pace. They were much too close for your liking.

The door to the med bay was just a handful of strides away now. You could see it.. C'mon almost there, almost there…

You almost screamed when you felt a hand grab you wrist, halting you and pulling you around to face him.

“He talks about you all the time when he's drunk”

Rex must've seen the panicked look on your face because he quickly released your wrist and took a step back.

"Hey, hey what's going on? Did I do something wrong?" He was slightly out of breath from running after you

"No no of course not" you shook your head before adding quietly "I don't think you could ever do anything wrong"

"Then why are you running away from me meshla?"

The pet name made your stomach flip, taking in a sharp breath and hesitating from a beat before replying

"It's nothing Rex, don't worry"

"Of course I'm gonna worry," he scoffed. "Something is obviously bothering you."

When you didn't reply he sighed and gently took one of your hands in his, holding it loosely

"I just wanna know what I've done so I can fix it," he whispered. Looking up and seeing the hurt in his eyes brought tears to your own.

"He likes you back y'know"

"It's just… something Fives said the other day" you said, keeping your gaze down to hide your embarrassingly watery eyes.

But he saw them anyway, jaw clenching and a hand tightening it's hold on your own "What did he say to you?" he growled protectively "Because if he said something out of line-"

"No no it wasn't anything like that" you answered quickly. A look of relief passed over his face

"Good. But it still something that obviously upset you"

You swallowed nervously before responding "It was about you actually"

Rex stiffened "Me?"

“Tries to pretend he doesn't but we all know Rex can't keep a secret to save his life"

"Yeah…"

"Well what- what about me?"

" He was suggesting that maybe- that you might-"

Rex could see you were struggling to say whatever it was you needed to say so he took a step closer, leaning in towards you "Hey it's ok, you can tell me."

"Maybe he'd think you're worth the risk"

Squeezing your eyes shut, you somehow mustered up a tiny ounce of courage, letting it all out in a rush "He said that you had a crush on me"

Keeping your eyes shut, you heard Rex's breath hitch and felt his hands tighten their hold on your own. After a few moments silence you slowly peeked your eyes open, heart beating fast as you took in the man in front of you.

He looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Well… I- I don't really know what to say…"

Nodding you tried to hide your disappointment by looking down at your feet. Of course he didn't like you, how could you ever think he did

You bit your lip as tears began brimming in your eyes How could you be so fucking stupid and start to let yourself believe that Captain Rex could possibly like you, a lowly medic.

"It's ok" you whispered, blurry eyes focusing on the ships shiny floor "Don't worry I knew Fives was just messing with me"

That really broke Rex out of his trance " What do you mean?"

"I mean of course you don't actually like me, why would you?" You replied, laughing sadly.

Rex frowned, genuinely confused "What are you talking about?"

When you didn't answer Rex called your name softly, making you look up at him, his breath hitching when he saw your teary eyes

"Oh meshla come 'ere" he pulled you into his arms, your head nuzzling into his neck and his hands finding their home around your waist.

"Listen to me carefully" he whispered into your hair "don't you ever, ever say that again."

You smiled into his neck but he wasn't finished "Of course I like you meshla, have since the moment i met you. How could I not love you when you're so fucking perfect?"

He pulled back and you immediately looked down shyly, avoiding his gaze. Calling your name, he gently lifted your chin with the crook of his finger, making you look him in the eyes

"I want to be able to call you mine"

You could feel you carefully built walls slowly falling down at his confession. Every second you spent this close to Rex another piece of them crumbling.

"But… what if someone finds out Rex. What then? How much are you willing to risk for this?"

He lent in impossibly closer, foreheads touching and lips brushing against yours as he spoke

"For you? Everything"

The last stone in your wall tumbling down, you closed the gap between you, enclosing your lips with his. He sighed into your mouth kissing you back hard, months of bottled up feelings pouring into this one single kiss.

Your hands travelled over his chest, one sneaking up behind his neck and into his short buzzed hair. He growled appreciatively, his own hands already grabbing your waist and pulling you into him, clutching onto you like a man drowning.

Breathless you both pulled back just far enough to catch your breath. He chuckled, nuzzling his nose into yours as you smiled softly.

"I love you Rex"

Your confession lingered in the limited air between you, his eyes flickering down to your lips before he gave them a gentle peck

"Love you more, meshla"

----

tag-list: @mirshebs-meshla

join my tag-list

#you just made my whole week #excuse me while I go die

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vanillawaiver · 3 years ago

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i hate going to the doctor send prayers

#cjrambles #i am in the room rn!!! send help!!!!#AHHH?#hopefully i don't cry this time #last time i cried #i'm lowkey hyperventilating right now ahhhhh

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crows--den · 6 years ago

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Hey 2019 can we pls be gentle holy shit

#god holy shit i feel like I'm drowning.#I get my shit together and I'm ready to apply to that job and hey jOKES ON YOU how about pet death? who doesn't just love pet death amirite #Today's his last full day and he's going to the vet tomorrow.#mom says she wants to see if they can help him but I.... am not hopeful #i have to bathe him today and it all feels very final #i am... so scared. This dog has veen with me for so long I'm gonna miss him so much #i had trouble sleepig the night before last and stayed up feeling nauseous and crying last night so #ya boi is.... not doing great. i feel like I'm dying tbh #also I'm still shaky and hyperventilating a touch so forgive any typos atm #i just need some rest and like. a hug rn. i feel like if i cry anymore I'm actually going to vomit so. I'm trying to calm down.#maybe today after my boy's bath i can get away with just... playing some zone out games and trying to suppress it for a while #when i can get through a day without vomiting and crying then maybe I'll be good to actually... get a fuckin job huh #in happy news i did plant some seeds yesterday. they're germinating in the window sill #I'm going to force 2019 to be a nurturing year if it kills me. this year will be one of growth and healing #even if i gotta be the one to make it that way.#(also lowkey doing this to have easier access to spell herbs oOPS)#i will mAGIC UP A GOOD YEAR IF I GOTTA #anyway uh #personal #i guess.

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get-shiggy-with-it · 4 years ago

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Ok, so first of all, I had to turn my laptop on for this comment so excuse the lack of emojis. I just finished Restoration and 18th Century Lit and let me just tell you: Head empty only college AU incel virgin Shigaraki. Your story was so good that I probably cannot even find the right words. So, the first two chapters already made me want to go to my university library to find me my own crusty gamer boy. I don’t know what it is, but the college AU does something for me! And never in a million years did I think I would be into incel Shigaraki, but here I am. Then chapter three…I had to brace myself before I started reading it because I knew it would be wild, and it was so hot. I was hyperventilating in my room. I was so flustered, heart racing, I almost forgot that Shigaraki and the reader should get it on because he and Dabi really captured my attention. And when you described the shower scene, I really was in my room screaming: “Not the 3-in-1 body wash!”

I really felt sadness wash over me when Tomura said that the project was done. Maybe it sounds silly, but I will miss reading the story.

And “knuckles deep in your creepy group project partner's ass while he came inside you” is my favorite line of all time now. I was at the car wash today and had to vacuum the car there. Only guys were there, and I just thought about how Shigaraki would call me a little attention-seeking whore for being in a place like this while I don’t have a clue about cars.

So, your characterization of Shigaraki really impacted my day. I really thought my taste in men was bad enough, but I see that I am thirsting for an unwashed crusty boy, and I am over here like: “Yes, I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning.”

I cannot find words to describe what I am feeling rn except for: 💖🥺✨💖🥺✨💖🥺✨💖

alsdfjljfakd I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!! It is quite easily one of my favorite things I’ve ever written and was certainly incredibly self-indulgent as I also day dream about finding my own, awful awful crusty boy to come spend all day in the library with me and also call me a nasty hoe.

Lowkey but actually very highkey, Dabi and Shiggy just have such a great dynamic to me, I have a hard time not inserting them into everything.

I am also in the process of writing a special little bonus absolute crack smut chapter for dabi, shigs and his bitch (endearing) lover. Cause they deserve it and this au won’t leave my head. Also Twice is getting his own cute partner cause he deserves that for being a bro and getting y’all the nice study rooms to fall in love in.

I have been patiently waiting for someone to notice the 3-in-1 soap. There is no way he doesn’t use that, this poor boy. As someone who also has a patently horrendous taste in men, I’m so glad I could drag you further down the depravity hole.

And yes, Shigs would 1000000% make fun of you relentlessly for washing your car. Why the fuck else would you go to a place like that if it wasn’t to get dudes to stare at your ass?? Fucking disgusting.... 😂

Your comment has ~made my whole day~ so thank you very much for taking the time to write it 😌💖

#excuse me while I cry #also let me know if you wanna be tagged or anything if/when I post the other shit in this au 💖#fan mail 💌#lilianaswhatever #bee answers 🐝

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sixthfinger · 1 year ago

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OKAY SOME NOTES AS I WATCH

- omg so the butterfly miraculous is inherently evil??? INTERESTING. i did not know that. idk how i feel abt it

- THE ART STYLE..... tbh when i first saw clips of this i did Not like it but its growing on my

- IS THIS A MUSICAL????

- why did they have someone else dub the singing.........

- wow, the eiffel tower isnt safe here either

- okay im over the shock now. this song fuckin slaps yo

- OH CHLOE'S GOT A DIFFERENT VOICE??

- wait does she??? i cannot tell legitimately

- SHES SO REGINA GEORGE HERE LMFAO

- i love alya!!!!!

- whaow movie!marinette is ANGSTYYYY I LOVE ANGST

- chLOE??????? lmao she's xtra brutal here

- ADRIENNNNN MY BOYYYYYYYY

- HES BEAUTIFUL!???????!!!!?????

- THE BOOK W THE CAT ON IT??? the foreshadowing is INSANEEEE

- oh wtf where'd he go

- "she's so weird🤓"

- WHY IS THE AGRESTE MANSION DIRECTLY BELOW THE EIFFEL TOWER WTF LOL

- gabe's a BITCH

- WHY DOES YOUNG GABE KINDA LOOK LIKE THE ONE DUDE FROM THE X FILES....one of the gunmen. the blond one.

- okay wait at second glance: why's adrien's face shaped so weird.....

- i love this movie everything is so much more intense here

- TIKKIIIIIIIII BBYGIRLLLLLLLLLLLL

- i love tikki shes the best

- OH THERES MORE SINGING

- im into it but its a Bit of a jumpscare every time lol

- movie!tikki is lowkey cooler than show!tikki (but dont tell her i said that)

- i still wish they didnt redub the singing </3

- this simon dude is frickin hilarious i LOVE HIM

- wish he was a show regular tbh

- wowie the yoyo is sentient omg

- CHAT NOIRRRRRRRRRR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU

- his face is so much more normal in costume

- WAIT NVM WHY IS HE FUCKING EVIL

- BEHIND YOU YOU FUCKING IDIOTS OH MY GOD

- i cant wait for him to get knocked down a peg lol

- WHY IS CARELESS WHISPER PLAYING?????? IS THIS CANON??????

- okay i kinda love evil chat noir he's def growing on me

- OH GOD MORE SINGING

- MOVIE!CHAT IS KINDA INFURIATING

- WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE TALK LIKE THEYVE SMOKED TOO MUCH WEED

- adrien: she's probably been doing this forever!!! she knows her stuff!!! marinette: *hyperventilating*

- ANOTHER SONG

- okay gabe you are slayinggggg

- show!adrien is so much nicer and

- kay wait nvm post cancelled movie!adrien is alright

- pls tell me theres at least One marichat scene in this movie pls

- omg i love them sm ladynoir my bbygirls

- AWWWHEHHTJSJJJFS HE JUST WANTS TO HOLD HER HAND INLOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THIS MOVIE

- THE TENSION????? the WALL SLAM THINGIE???? WTF

- conspiracy theory: Big Movie retconned show!chloe's redemption arc to sell more Movie

- EVIL MF LMFAO

- oh hes gonna start singing isnt he

- oh nO

- oh here we go

- OH WAIT NVM THIS IS GORGEOUS?????

- would be funny if i did a song from this movie for my mip in april lmfao

- WHAOW REMIX

- i love them so much they r so dear to me

- MOVIE!LADYNOIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU

- ITS THE NICE INSTRUMENTAL TUNE OMG OMG OMG OMG ITS A DUET????? ITS THEIR DUET???? I LOVE THIS MOVIE

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- MY SHIP:(((((((((((

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- NOOOO MARINETTE BBYGIRL DONT BE SAD I LOVE YOU

- pls pls pls this is the perfect setup for The Balcony Scene pls pls pls pls pls pls

- LOL MOVIE!HAWKMOTH IS FUCKIN UGLYYYY

- man i love happy endings

- WTF IS HAPPENING RN

- WHAT

- ??????

- WHENS THE NEXT ONE COMING OUT????

okay y'all im finally watching awakening

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug movie

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hydraulic-conductivity · 4 years ago

Text

i’ve been kinda using this blog as a secondary shitposting/aesthetic blog casually. but the true reason it was created was to discuss my mental illnesses and lowkey it was a pro ana blog so i’d like to quickly check in with that since i shifted to tiktok and this is the original secondary blog i had in march 2012 when i was literally crumbling. it is august 2020.

anyways, eating disorder wise i’m pretty ok. i don’t binge eat anymore and if i do it’s not nearly as bad as it has been. i don’t starve but i definitely don’t eat every time i’m hungry immediately until my headache gets so bad i need to or i can’t sleep because i’m in pain. so maybe that’s not healthy but i don’t feel anorexic. because i do eat. but i’m finally at the point where my clothes are all big on me or finally fit and everyone in my life is noticing that i “look skinnier” and that i “lost weight” but i genuinely think i look the same. i made a tiktok of trying on the dress i wore at my ex best friends wedding and it was the only thing that really opened my eyes to how different i look. but in day to day life i do not feel or notice a change. i enjoy working out a lot more i just wish i has was a bit more...able. i have come to terms with feeling it but i do not like using the word “disabled” i suppose but something’s wrong with me for sure and because my sister is literally dying from a (genetic) disease... i’m thinking i should start focusing on treating myself well to have a healthy future because i deserve it.

so because i’ve been tryna start focusing on my health more, i’ve been cigarette and juul free(minus emergency hits here and there but no buying new pods) for a month + and that’s the longest i’ve gone without nicotine since i was 15. i’m 23. it’s a lot. i like being vegan bc morals but i cheat sometimes bc food. i have come to terms with a lot of traumas and mental illness diagnoses that were uncomfortable and that i rejected. i understand myself better. i almost have a 4.0 and i’m finally in a university which is a huge step considering i am technically only (almost) 9 months clean, hella mental illnesses and disabled. im still smoking weed obviously. medically necessary. emotionally and recreationally as well. but i even went on a tolerance break bc i had some court things to settle. jail time/probation/license suspended. misdemeanor. what a scary word. anyways that just happened and i’m a better person now because of it. i was lucky.

i’m just gonna tag everything i’ve been diagnosed w that i can recall rn (lol ptsd too but like idk :) i feel guilty claiming that one even though i think about my rapist every single day) omg fun fact he was coming into my old work before i quit my job because i was hitting emotional rock bottom coming to terms with it :)) the first time i saw him again i was hyperventilating in the bathroom and crying :)) and i watched him leave on camera :) and i was too scared to smoke a cigarette outside after 7 pm for like 2 weeks. anyways.

i’m doing some spiritual work.

also my bff and i just broke up bc of a lot of things but she found out serious stuff about my rapist that changed everything and told me very casually when it was damaging information. then she tried to act like she was assaulted even though what she did was prediscussed, consensual rapeplay. anyways i hate him and i can’t be tied up anymore and anal sex is even scarier. what a fucking piece of shit that was literally the only virginity i had left 😂😩 i listen to bloodmoney by poppy and scream at the sky and i listen to my queen taylor of course folklore rn is saving my whole life i needed it so baddddddddddd. i just try my best. i feel stuck like always but how do i move on from so much shit ?

i have started to control my skin and picking and it rly started to look beautiful but then i relapsed 😂 um also i am not pursuing any romantic relationship anymore since i became his side bitch but also he’s still my dom and it’s casual so yikes one day i’ll need more but for rn we’re doing okay. he moves away the end of this month. the last few people i dated abused me, cheated on me, or didn’t give a fuck about me so i’m lowkey not on a good path picking.

i let myself become infatuated with my ex who had a girlfriend and we talked almost 24/7 until he ghosted next because they moved back in together. it was stupid but i romanticized him s lot and i wanna blame teen love but it’s prob the bpd too. lol.

#manic ramblings at 2:36 am #m #me #personal #mental illness #bpd #bipolar #ocd #add #autism #depression #anxiety #panic disorder #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #eating disorder #body dysmorphia #witchblr

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