#loving the fact these two interact now
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Staring at the new laes episode nodding
Man i love lunar interact with his bros
#tye eclipse paet gjfosba wasnt expecting but man was being cryptic. i wasnt paying wnough attention#but like lunar i got none of that other than eclipe is straight up having a bad time#bros wheezing and falling over#lunar legit like '...you good man??' 'YEP IM FINE' in not a fine tone#loving the fact these two interact now#but fkgusha lunar waking up to eclipse just ??????#hilarious i love it#sun and moon show spoilers#ALSO SUN AND LUNARS INTERACTIONS <3333 sun walking in the daycare and the slow stare at lunar#and lunars like I CAN EXPLAIN#explains nothing about eclips
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reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books
just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
#snap chats#the key to reading comic books isnt to read them in order or even all of them just the ones you like#until eventually someone tells you some wack as hell fact about an issue and then you go read that one#many such cases why do you think i picked up onslaught revelation. cause that fucker is back#why do you think i picked up wolverine number 3 because my beautiful wife is hammered for two pages in it#brother was just talkin to me casually bout onslaught one day and i was like NO FUCKIN WAY thats how you do it !!!!!!!!#like the first krakoa story i read technically was resurrection of magneto followed by the trial of magneto#clearly we see i had an agenda vjALKJKLAJ BUT STILL#it was STILL a really good run ... i could piece together enough of the background before then and really enjoyed it on its own#with that said tho it was very cool/funny to see crumbs Of trial of magneto in way of x#BUT NOW I HAVE LEGION OF X HAHAAAA i cant wait to properly sit and read it ..... after i get through my New Mutants issues ....#i got those a while ago but i kept putting off reading them ... oops ..... i read the first one at least#i was gonna say something but i forgot. oh no i didnt i remember thats what i love about comic books#because theres So Many and so many timelines and stories it invites a lot of community interaction#just to be like 'oh hey did you know This happened in This issue you should check it out'. thats beautiful#even if. its to talk about utter dog shit like she lies with angels BUT STILL ITS COMMUNITY !!!!! we can be lovers AND haters together <3#its why i love getting physical comics too. i mean i dont have friends or people who visit me LOL#but i like the idea of bringing up what i have and letting people borrow it. community ......
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do you agree that a convert to reform judaism is just a goy appropriating jewish culture? or do you think reform conversions are just as valid as any other?
"Do you agree" feels like you're already presupposing what my position ought to be - if so, what's the point in asking beyond validation? Perhaps it's a misreading of your tone, anon, and if so, I apologize. I can become quite on edge because I have seen a lot of disappointing "discourse" about this topic.
If you've put the work into being a jew, you're a jew. The second you leave the mikveh - the second you become a jew - there is nothing for you to appropriate. Most jews in my country (U.S.) are reform, in fact.
A jew is a jew, and I hold love, admiration, and appreciation for all jews. In fact, it's written about extensively in my bio (not my pinned post) because I want this to be welcoming for everyone, not just people like myself. This is something I will not negotiate about. I am not interested in negotiating this because it only, ultimately, divides and hurts us all. Reform isn't for me personally in the stage of life I am in and what I want my judaism to look like. If ever there was a time that this changes when I am jewish, I will plan accordingly in any direction. I don't want my conversion to be validated simply due to potential distaste one might have for the reform movement - I and my community have been putting all this work in for my jewish life.
Reform judaism is so much more nuanced and complex than I think many people are willing to give it credit for. To me, it is all judaism. And I hope with my extensive blogging on this account that you know how I feel about judaism as a whole.
#ask#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#this blog is coming on two years old now and i feel i have done nothing BUT show my love for this life and this people#if there is only one thing i can be certain about it is that fact#also i apologize if this tone was overly harsh - i have had no sleep in almost a day#and i'm stressed about tisha b'av and school so i'm afraid it could seep into other aspects of my life and interactions with others#i'm trying to mitigate that but i'm only human after all i'm only human after all don't put the blame on me (reference)
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Walkshipping board for that one anon from forever ago who asked about my ships
X-X X-X X-X
#i call i walkshipping because i'm pretty sure their only interaction together was walking bakura home#the dynamic to me is unrequited crush -> friends -> fake dating -> possible qpr -> crush x2 combo -> awkward maybe-kinda-unofficial-polycul#i think since mihos crush on bakura was solely aesthetic‚ it'd start to fade once she started actually viewing him as a friend#and i think once that happened and bakura got more comfortable they would end up hanging out a lot#i think miho would love tabletop games (you cant convince me her enjoyment of capsulemon didn't just come from rping with the pieces)#and her immunity to traditionally scary things means bakura could get her into a lot of his other interests as well#anyway i like the idea that eventually they decide to fake date each other purely to get the girls to leave bakura's demi ass alone#which in turns leads to honda third wheeling them a lot bc 'ur just fake dating right ur not gonna catch actual feelings right'#the idea of this going anywhere romantic hinges on my belief that finding out abt mihos weird strange interests makes him even more into he#and that realizing how many traits she shares with bakura is‚ unfortunately for him‚ how he finds out he might in fact be bi#so now he's still desperately trying to romance miho AND coming to terms with the idea that his jealousy of bakura might have deeper origin#meanwhile the two are like 'hey honda likes us isnt that cute. wanna see how many trinkets we can get him to buy us'#<- (i warned you. i warned you about the extreme yapping that came with this)#moodboard#yugioh#yugioh s0#miho nosaka#honda hiroto#ryo bakura#ryou bakura#tristan taylor#walkshipping#hands#dice#flowers#planchette#ouija board#jewelry#puzzle
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I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.
(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)
#eyeshield 21#seijuro shin#sena kobayakawa#haruto sakuraba#ichiro takami#you might look at this and go Salmon please explain why you're drawing fanart for a football anime#and i cannot actually explain#not pictured is my undying love and adoration for the Ha-Ha brothers because they're great#im only on ep28 but please i care for them so much#me watching one say that a girl is his type: OH NICE I LOVE THIS I WILL SUPPORT YOU#me watching one suffer a fear of airplanes while on an airplane: SON YOU ARE DYING PLEASE NO KEEP LIVING#i have typed so many essays on discord to two people about the emotions this anime has given me#and its such a silly anime with funky moves with funny animations for the moves#but i actually really like it ??? like yes its about hs people playing football#but the fact the main character is an underdog#joining a team of two people thus making the entire team of now three an underdog#who then continue to grow with MORE underdogs being recruited#its actually very impressive to watch the characters grow alongside sena#like they do actively show the kids interacting in various ways and its a delight#the anime is just a bunch of good boys playing a game and having a good time bettering themselves#and i say this like im an expert when im still just ep28
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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i absolutely love how offended Ethan gets when Rory says he isn't into Veronica
#that poor guy just wanted Rory to be into him#i love how literally every ship between the main five has like canon interactions that solidify it#like ethan and rory in die pod and three cheers for evil#die pod is my favourite episode for two reasons#bc its a rory episode and bc it's very ethory coded#rory was my favourite character growing up#the three cheers for evil episode so is good in so many ways#like the fact that benny enjoys being Betty#and the whole rory and benny plotline#the whole jealousy thing with ethan and rory#also as always serica kills in this episode#i decided to watch mbav while i studied but now im just making random hcs and stuff instead of studying
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+ Good morning, Heaven's Fury!!
+ Pardon the brief radio silence, I was bogged down trying to pack, prepare, and decipher the tedious legal jargon around my 'transfer'; That, and I was not prepared for my Milkrun. Not sure what I was expecting, but I haven't been this tired in years. + Fantastic news, however! As of tonight, I am shipping out to join MSMC's 148th detachment, "Aftermarket Brokers"; I saddled up with a more R&D-centric detachment in an effort to make the most of my specializations. It should be a nice balance of ground deployment, prototype development, and study. Of course, there's still the brief training window before I can actually meet, let alone deploy with, my squadron- but my application was picked up by 148th almost immediately.
+ No more putting it off, I guess. Now's the time for that last, big step; Moving in. + Thank you all for your inspiration, and for the motivation to make this jump- I hope to make you proud.
+ (PS; I have a bottle of Kahlua to send to Slipshod, I think I owe them one, don't ask. Had to try and guess what they might like; I'll send that over once I'm settled.)
+ Thank you, again, -- "GRAY"
// Congratulations, Gray! The 148th are a very talented squadron when it comes to engineering, they're very lucky to have snagged you so quickly. I'll have your welcome gifts sent over to their hangar, so you can access them right away after you get moved in.
+ aw shit, you got me kahlua? man, I haven't had that since HORUS - I'll look forward to drinking that. (one of my old hacker buddies liked white russians a whole lot; we used to experiment with my vodka collection and see what we could come up with that didn't taste entirely awful.) oh, and you're very welcome for the help ;)
> Congratulations on joining MSMC officially, Gray. While I myself have not personally interacted with the members of MSMC-148, I have it on good authority that they're a very well put together team. I think you'll be a good fit with them - they wouldn't have picked up your application so quickly if they didn't think so, too.
+ yeah, congrats on getting in with the R&D squad - they're good pals of mine. rumor has it some of their older members were privy to our side of the zheng license back in the day - might wanna ask around and see if they still have any of the original blueprints. also, if you see him around, tell Tinkerbell (his actual callsign is Tinker, but I'm not gonna let him off that easy for beating me at poker) that it's his turn to host game night; drinks are on me since I lost last week
// You've really come into your own since we first met you, Gray; it's an honor to get to welcome both you and GRAE to the team. We're all incredibly proud of you, and look forward to piloting alongside you someday very soon. And hey, if you ever need guidance on where to go next, or just want to chat - our hangar doors (and our inbox) are always open. You know where to find us.
+ ditto that. you did good, kid - welcome aboard!
> Congratulations again, Gray. From all of us.
Yours among the stars, forever and always!
-- Angel, Slipshod, & Lockbreaker
#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#lancerrpg#// two new MSMC members within a week - Recruitment's gotta be over the moon with my PR success record thus far#// er- not that I'm getting any promotions for doing my job well; I do this because I genuinely love interacting with all of you out there#// the fact that I get paid to do this is secondary to the satisfaction I get from talking to y'all (plus it doesn't pay that well anyways)#+ I should get you an invite to games night - there is usually alcohol involved but for you I think we can tone it down a bit#+ can't be setting too bad of an example for our newest cadet now can we? ;)#> I'm incredibly proud of the pilot you've shaped up to be Gray - you join MSMC not just with my blessing; but that of our entire squadron#correspondences with: MSMC Gray
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random tokrev rant ahead !!
when i first started this blog it was going to be for random shitposts, groupchats once in a while, and mostly tokrev analysis but i was so scared of discourse that i just chose to do the funnier stuff 😭. when tokrev was at it's peak i'd be reading 20k+ words of analysis and it was so fun!! but i felt like i couldn't word what i wanted to say properly so that discouraged me but i wish i'd ignored that because there would have been at least one person who understood what i was saying yk?
#anyway#i used to have a tagging system but i forgot so that's my bad#and the thing about discourse is that you could give a person all the canonical facts of the story and they'll still find a way to pretend#that they're right and i personally cannot handle that#i take things very seriously and someone thinking they won a argument when they didn't would make me rip my hair out#so maybe my blog not going into that direction was good for my metal health#i feel like fandom interactions always end up as fights for some reason#why can't two opinions co-exist#let's discuss and have fun why we gotta tell each other to kill ourselves😭#like i saw a very well thought out and written theory about sanzu having autism or something along those lines#and a comment was like “stop trying to give him excuses he's a terrible villain and he's just crazy blah blah blah”#whole time this person's an izana apologist#like😐#i love both these characters but a lot of characters in tokrev are more complicated than just a “crazy villain”#and it seems like they understand that about izana so????#ok i'm done now i hope you guys get what i mean#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers manga#tokrev
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‘oh you have a new interest? thank god you’re being normal about it and not spending all your money-’ SHUT UP. CLASSICS SECTION IN THE CHARITY SHOP DOWN THE ROAD
#okay oresteia was £8 online and i regret nothing#but the fact i was like yesss oresteia let’s go!!! and then blacked out in the classics section and somehow managed to bag the other two#and now i have antigone oedipus electra and the satyr plays…. girl…#£2 EACH FOR THOSE TWO BOOKS BTW!!! and the guy working the bookshop was rlly knowledgeable about it#he was like ‘are you studying or just interested’ that is a VERY SORE SUBJECT BEST FRIEND#but he was so sweet I was like nah im an econ student he was like ‘you will have such broad knowledge now with both!’#like yea okay 😭 and then he kinda started mansplaining about astronomy of all things for a bit#and another man joined in and I was like i truly cannot tell if youse are talking to me like this bc im young or bc im a girl#but for the sake of a nice interaction im willfully ignoring the second option in favour of the first#<3333#OH and the copy of the satyr plays is kinda worn which is my fave thing about 2nd hand books like I LOVE when u can tell they’ve been read#and I bought sticky notes bc im planning to fully sit and annotate these as if i actually am studying them#i feel like im at school again but in a good way this is so fun like i remember why I used to enjoy learning#and didn’t feel thick as shit all the time and drained of all joy. lol. lmao even#hella goes to uni
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does anyone else have moments where you look at someone in ur notifs and you’re like, not sure if someone that follows you was like, a mutual that you never talked to that you maybe accidentally unfollowed, or if they weren’t ever a mutual but you just got so used to seeing them in ur notifs / you have a lot of overlap in the tags you post in lol
I can think of like 5+ people where I start to go like 🤨… WERE we mutuals…???
Especially during the April fools booping like that button was so close to the follow/unfollow like what if I unfollowed a mutual and didn’t notice !!! Or gained a mutual accidentally LOL
#Don’t even get me started on side blog confusion lol#Or like. Opposite of that where I thought I was maybe mutuals with someone#But then I see he following thing#But we barely interacted before so I was like#Maybe I just imagined the fact that we were ever mutuals???#Which is possible. P sure I’ve been in both sides of that one lol#Anyway NOT THAT IT MATTERS!!!!!!#Mutuals r lovely but so r the people we just pass by via posts in the tags#Or like the mutual in laws Lolol#Omg but there are a few people. Like two or three ???#That def do NOT follow me and I follow them#And they randomly show up in my notifs#Like not even a post I made. Just randomly reblog and like a post or two that I just standardly reblogged#It doesn’t bother me but ever y time I’m like HUH WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE#It’s pretty funny#And they COME BACK every so often!!!#How do u keep getting in here….#Anyway. It’s just funny things 2 me#I had a lil caffeine bc I was falling asleep earlier and now I’m thinking about Everything
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trying to connect the watcher bullshit with the way media companies on YouTube have regularly failed. Can’t figure out how to be coherent yet but ohhhh boy when I do.
#I just find it really interesting to see parallels like#mainly got a triangle of like#bdg with polygon#Shane and Ryan at buzzfeed#and the after hours crew at cracked (+maybe cody Johnston)#just people who attracted a lot of audience to a channel that probably had too much staff and was transitioning from like#pop culture and comedy websites to YouTube style content#plus college humor too but they diversified enough that dropout is now stable and successful#but I feel like soooo many of these companies just put so much stake in the fact that they have popular people#and then either behind the scenes stuff makes them make terrible decisions or lay people off or whatever#and then it fails#figured buzzfeed wouldn’t last after Ryan and Shane left because of what happened with cracked#again that was more a lay offs thing then people going independent but still#idk it’s just something I’ve thought about since like. middle school because of how long stuff like this has been happening#someone can probably articulate it better but#I’d love to learn more about how business decisions interact with YouTube when you have like A Crew instead of one or two people#behind a channel
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I'm not sure how weird of a question it would be to ask, or if it's one i should ask, but if you could choose to hallucinate one of them again without any kind of drawbacks just to talk with them, would you? And who would you talk to?
Not a weird question at all, and it's one I've actually asked myself a lot over the years! If I were able to hallucinate one of my old Brain Roommates™️ again, but without the intense anxiety that is required for me to hallucinate in the first place or the actual damage to my brain that hallucinations do, I'd be very, very interested in it. However, my answer for who I would speak to in this hypothetical scenario has changed throughout the years.
Originally, I wanted to talk to the Black Clock. He was the most consistently distressing hallucination, and was a sort of manifestation of my intense perfectionism and high standards for myself. I wanted to ask him if I was enough. It was a question that haunted me for years, and either answer scared me. If I was enough, then that meant I wasn't living up to my potential and that I was "sinful, irredeemable filth" according to the script I told myself back then. If I wasn't enough, then I didn't deserve anything good and I was an active blight on all that I loved, somehow. Nowadays I don't have anything to say to him. I'm enough for myself and I'm enough for God. The opinion of some misfiring synapses doesn't matter.
After that, I wanted to speak to the Red Woman. She expressed remorse after I found my first set of medications that partially stopped me from hallucinating, and she apologized for what she put me through and told me goodbye. I held her the night I took those medications while she cried and said she was scared to die. I never saw or heard from her again, at least as a hallucination. I wanted to tell her I forgave her and that I hoped she was okay, wherever she was. I don't have that same anxiety over the speculative mortality of the voices in my head anymore, so I wouldn't say I would want to talk to her again. There's not much point to it in my eyes. She hurt me and said she was sorry. That's a full sentence. I don't need to open it up for anything else.
Later on, I wanted to talk to the Lime Hands because, in a very bizarre exchange, he expressed to me he was depressed and didn't want to exist. I wanted to see if he was feeling any better, as strange as it was to ask that of a hallucination. Now, though, I hate that freak and make no apologies for what the dang thing put me through, and the only way I'd want to reunite with him is in some wonderland scenario where I could tangibly interact with him. And that's only because I'm punching that sucker's teeth in and breaking his pinky fingers.
As for the present day answer: If I were to choose any of my hallucinations to speak to without consequence, I think I'd like to speak to Doc Brown, or the Marigold Girl.
Doc Brown was the most cordial of the hallucinations and actually stepped in to advocate for me on occasion when the pain was really bad. I liked him a lot. He was a friend to me when I had very few people to talk to. We joked together and he gave me advice and words of comfort during some of the worst nights of my life. I think it'd be fun, in a very surreal way, to catch up with him— ask him how he's doing, how he's been, if he and the Marigold Girl are still buddies and if the Red Woman and him ever got over the hump of their flirtatious hatred for each other and actually became an item. It'd be a nice little send off to the guy. He was one of the first hallucinations I stopped experiencing, and his disappearance was very abrupt. I'd like to be able to say goodbye properly, thank him for his help, and smile and kindly say I hope I never see him again.
(also, the guy's whole shtick was anxiety over disease / contamination and the possibility of me infecting others with whatever bug I caught at the time. I stopped hallucinating him WAY before 2020 and I think he would lose his mind if I told him about COVID-19. That was his time to shine and he missed it. Poor thing.)
The Marigold Girl was a very difficult figure for me to handle when I was hallucinating. On the one hand, she was a lovely, if somewhat unsettling, little girl. She liked it when I read books and explained the plots to her. She always wanted to be held. She was scared of the dark. She adored my stuffed animals and would whisper to them while I was trying to sleep. I enjoyed being around her for the most part, but she was a very weepy hallucination, and the Black Clock would deal out punishment without fail whenever she cried— it was always my fault somehow, and so I suffered the consequences of her being a bit of a crybaby.
Looking back, I feel bad for her. She was a good kid, or at least as good of a kid as an unhealthy cocktail of neurochemicals in a weary brain can be. She once said she didn't want to cry all the time and wished she knew how to stop because I got in trouble because of it. I think it would be nice to comfort her and tell her it wasn't her fault that I'd be hurt. She couldn't control things anymore than I could back then.
I'd really like to show her the new stuffed animals I've collected over the years and read her one of the short stories I've written. I think she'd like Winter Came and Went if she didn't have to worry about the consequences of crying during the sad parts. She'd definitely enjoy Bibbidy Bee Goes to the Library. If possible, I'd like to ask what her favorite color is. I think she'd have a lot of fun answering, and I'd like being able to get to know this part of my psyche that was scared to let herself show any sadness for fear of hurting others with it.
#this was a very lovely ask#thank you for sending it in!#i really enjoyed reading it and writing out an answer for it#it was nice to reflect on the experiences I've had#ultimately if i were to be given this opportunity i would want to use it for closure#certain hallucinations already had a sort of “concluding” interaction with me#and those endings were satisfying enough for me to feel like i don't have anything left to say to or hear from them#but with those last two hallucinations i mentioned— they were there one day#and they were gone the next.#add onto that the fact that I'd actually LIKE to hear their voices again and i think it'd be a valuable experience if it ever happened#unlike the Black Clock and Lime Hands. stay gone ya dumb jerks.#thanks again for the ask!#alright I said I was going to bed before#now I’m REALLY going to bed.#promise.#(nobody cross-examine my Pokémon Sleep data.)#schizophrenia#schizophrenic#psychosis#sofie answers asks#sofie says stuff
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my favorite thing about making self insert ocs is that 90% of the time i dont even want them to interact with canon characters. i just want them to be chillin in the world somewhere
#there IS in fact a 10% of me that goes “now kiss” or MORE likely “youre best friends now” but that is reserved for me only.#i dont know what brought this up exactly. notjing in particular#i just think i probably go about things like this differently than a lot of people and its like#yes i have a riptide oc! no i dont eant them to interact with the plot at all!#they are just sailing on a boat with their best friend and maybe the two od them are cannibals sometimes. like silly background characters.#jonesy and i once made a joke about them being the wet bandits from home alone with ollie as kevin#and i think thats the closest to interacting with canon i need . theyre just There.#idk !!! i just think self insert characters are fun and people should make them more :]#its one of my favorite ways of interacting w a piece of media i enjoy#my trigun oc is like. yeah he was raised by the eye of michael and everything but now he just fucks off in the desert#and rides big birds and does stupid shit. and i love him so much. vash the stampede who. never hesrd of him
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guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.
#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls#okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases#one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes#''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it''#so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars#and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get-#-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth#and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand)#but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude-#-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl#anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it-#-from like prayers#so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you''#so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore#but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since-#-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it#for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid-#-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo-#-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3#i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted-#-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives#like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them#or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings#or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each-#-other anyways#i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life-#-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in#i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's#-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6
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not to be unabashedly changed by a piece of media right now but when I tell you knifetrick means the world to me
#like#majority of my closest mutuals#I found myself first interacting with back in my kt Era#back when I was crying over bluebells and laughing about autism kidnapping diagnoses#solar kirby jackie meows etc etc#all of those beloved mutuals who I found through such an empactful story and characters who mean so much to me#I can't even begin to describe how happy I am to have been able to live through and experience kniretrick to its fullest#from it's first few concepts that popped up on my dash to now on the one year anniversary of the final chapter#I doubt something like this will happen for me again so I'm grateful to maxx for giving me and all of us kt fans the chance to enjoy it#it's really telling of the fact that I spent so much of my time loving it that it was in my top five tags for two years#even after it began so late in the year and ended so early in the next#it really is and was a beautiful and amazing story#knifetrick#bishop's knifetrick#bishop's knife trick#bishops knife trick#knifetrick anniversary#knifetrick one year anniversary#I'm so sappy sorry haha#malt rants#malt.txt#I know I'll be loving it for a long time
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