#i feel like im at school again but in a good way this is so fun like i remember why I used to enjoy learning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chrliekclly · 9 months ago

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charden is v important to me bcuz they recognize their traumas n each othr...

#charden #chardennis #charlie kelly #dennis reynolds #iasip #always sunny #fanart #mine #my backstory for this is its around uncle jacks bday nd bonnie is once again letting him stay w them to celebrate (:\)#so charlie comes to school lookin rough probs stayd up all night nd huffd glue jst coping nd den Knows tht type of rough #nd kinda wordlessly comforts him in a free moment....#im such a ffag #n e way this is how im imagining them as hs seniors #T kickin in fr charles....im fully nto th tboy (/nb) charlie headcanon by now #im forcing myslf to dra bettr cuz i like charden sooooooo much #nd want to b able to draw em a bit oldr than i draw mac nd charlie...nd my stupid cutesy artsyle isnt good @ that #but now den looks TOO old i feel like lmfgkjhng i struggle #ANYWAYS hi im posting another draft i had 👀#still hoping to color my comic soon. last day of the job today! my body is destroyed from it :')

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puppyeared · 5 months ago

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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what #allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of #the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than #to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do #im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt #take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was #mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their #mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that #explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain #direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in #arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to #engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out #theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive #a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked #picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing #sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example #for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war #is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old #wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for #steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with #especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can #look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never #treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time #but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made #feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them #accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me #yapping #diary

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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago

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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh #they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice #ive never seen him with barbara #he had no team #in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again #and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown #in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together #and the other is from a short story and never brought up again #alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay #all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin #is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog #jason todd #i feel so bad for him all the time for forever #ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era #and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened #which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all #doylist vs watsonian moment as they say #dc comics #batman comics #and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder #and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room #he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice #i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough #they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them #wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf #of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little #obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when #there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had #anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after

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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago

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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍

thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace

#not art #everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here #the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him #In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same #but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace #the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao #honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth #esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing #ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome #like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be #or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service #this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me #anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it #anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz #u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)

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puhpandas · 2 months ago

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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn

#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking #this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again #plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story #and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around #i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented #as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around #that would suck majorly #a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book #like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past #plus everything the tapes said he did #it could be so good #i really want to just see like. any progression of the story #outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones #theres not much you can think about #insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing #nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag #i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient #but man #i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented #everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm #when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just #fans on twitter diehard or casual #that hated how hw2s story was handled #people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore #thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited #i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that #a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days #before it even #of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days #i just miss my guys :(

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orcelito · 1 month ago

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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.

I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...

I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.

#speculation nation #i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money #more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school #a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it #given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt #while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.

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thedvilsinthedetails · 7 months ago

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goodnight tumblr

Fair warning the ramble in the tags is long af

#Quick thought before I drop dead from tiredness #I love my friends #and I kind of #I really love my life right now #Which is weird bc it’s actually really stressful time and I’m not really doing well but #I have friends #Good friends #and my blog #and I feel like a person again #I feel like I’m finally getting back to ‘me’ if I hadn’t been ‘best friends’ with a toxic bitch #She basically shredded my self esteem #Two years of that shit messed me up man #Not to mention my mother #But I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m able to separate that shit from who I actually AM yk #And man I fucking love my friends #Both on and offline #But irl/in school friendships were something I was struggling with #And #yk it was fucking worth the wait #I love them so much #im so #fucking fucking glad I know them #Yeah #Of course I’m petrified of losing them like everyone else #But for once I don’t THINK I will #I’m not going into this with some morbid sense of doom #My ‘six month expiry’ date is not gonna expire bc im manifesting my way thru this shit #Anyway goodnight sorry for the ramble

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hella1975 · 1 year ago

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‘oh you have a new interest? thank god you’re being normal about it and not spending all your money-’ SHUT UP. CLASSICS SECTION IN THE CHARITY SHOP DOWN THE ROAD

#okay oresteia was £8 online and i regret nothing #but the fact i was like yesss oresteia let’s go!!! and then blacked out in the classics section and somehow managed to bag the other two #and now i have antigone oedipus electra and the satyr plays…. girl…#£2 EACH FOR THOSE TWO BOOKS BTW!!! and the guy working the bookshop was rlly knowledgeable about it #he was like ‘are you studying or just interested’ that is a VERY SORE SUBJECT BEST FRIEND #but he was so sweet I was like nah im an econ student he was like ‘you will have such broad knowledge now with both!’#like yea okay 😭 and then he kinda started mansplaining about astronomy of all things for a bit #and another man joined in and I was like i truly cannot tell if youse are talking to me like this bc im young or bc im a girl #but for the sake of a nice interaction im willfully ignoring the second option in favour of the first #<3333 #OH and the copy of the satyr plays is kinda worn which is my fave thing about 2nd hand books like I LOVE when u can tell they’ve been read #and I bought sticky notes bc im planning to fully sit and annotate these as if i actually am studying them #i feel like im at school again but in a good way this is so fun like i remember why I used to enjoy learning #and didn’t feel thick as shit all the time and drained of all joy. lol. lmao even #hella goes to uni

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srldesigns6277 · 7 months ago

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#personal #sometimes i wish i knew what it was like to be someone people want to talk to #or at least had students who could listen to what i say for just five minutes #god i hate yelling then they say thats all i do when if i talked normally no one fucking listens #then i take it way too hard when they say they dont like me when at least i stepped up to take their class #a class that had already ran off one teacher #but no im too useless because i actually make them do work and tried to have rules #last year was hard but at least i felt fulfilled by the end of the year with all my classes #i have never craved the end of the year so much or as much as i have this year #its not even both classes either its just this one that makes me dread working with them as much as they apparently hate me #sadly i can understand why their teacher left #and i know im not the best replacement since im learning how to teach them as they learn from me #but im just tired #its only a month left but i am so ready to never see any of them again #but depression does as it does and makes me question if im even good enough to get another job #one actually teaching my correct subject that i love #i hope like hell that i get a job and one i really want because i dont want to have to come back to this school #*it has the most substitute jobs #i dont like being loud even if no one believes me i dont like being mean though i know when i have too i just dont feel good enough #if i was i think i would have a job by now i mean im 28 and its been 5 schools in 5 years #sorry being sad on main #if you read this #thanks

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puppyeared · 1 year ago

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save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones #is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme.........#its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid #i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over #theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later #especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure #interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries..#god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and #cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE #CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus #on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with #and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR #i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with #strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid #someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from #the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors #ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK #lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too #now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here #UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS #yapping #nostalgia

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macroglossus · 11 months ago

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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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kohakhearts · 3 months ago

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so i was thinking about shigegou again [794 dead, 93829 injured]

#taylor.txt #remember like a month ago when i said id update entanglement tomorrow #in my defence i thought the chapter was finished by i actually just never wrote the ending. and for a reason. im still stumped #anyway ive been really into gf and its been good for me to take a break from pokemon but once i get into the swing of the school year i’ll #get back to it im just you know. drowning in new job anxiety and everything #also idk if i ever mentioned my ongoing cockroach infestation but thats been a thing for most of the year and yeah #this weekend im taking myself snd my cat to a friends place so that they can treat my whole unit again #im so desensitized at this point but i think theyve been really sapping my energy just like. in general will to live and exist kinds of ways #im like the spongebob meme of the guy looking at the toilet like oh thats blank. every day. with cockroaches #this has nothing to do with shigegou but if anyone has the right to clog the tag with life musings its me i think #haha just kidding. theyre so allergic to feelings in all my fics it took them like 100k words to kiss

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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 1 month ago

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home early from school sick and im just so tired ngl </3

#camera talks #shout out to my bf who helped me i love you sm <33 #thank you for remembering that i need salt and food <3 #and also convincing me to go home when im not doing good #i appreciate you so much mwah #anyways im just resting rn. im not happy about missing school but also i feel so blah #i hope i feel better soon cuz this isnt cool :(#sighhhh #might play an easy game later (after resting again)#(also i came home way earlier i just like instantly crashed when i got here. got up for lunch earlier and im just in bed now)#okay. back to bed probablyy

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orcelito · 1 month ago

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God, this is fucking crazy

So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?

I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.

I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.

It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.

So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha

#speculation nation #im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly #i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails #at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school #then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work #simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo #(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot #which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple #but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing #so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.

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micer2012 · 1 year ago

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some photos of my room :3 the more maximalist, the more recent (if you want to know the artist for any of my things just let me know!!)

#getting personal: i just redecorated my room and couldnt figure out why it made me feel so good. before realizing OH. ITS THE MATPAT.#showing off my room my home so UNIQUELY me nobody else could ever have this combination of shit i just printed out at the school library #really helps. look at my room look at Me. (and going home for winter break soon will make me not feel like Myself too..)#in conclusion look at my room :] look at me . im so sad im about to be torn from it for a bit.. but i can look at this photo set whenever i #missing it. ill be back! ill be home. and im home Right Now #AGAIN if u want the source of any of this art let me know!! its all reblogged on my blog here i think #and obviously im not profiting off of this printed out art any way its just to make me feel happy its just to make my room more Mine #wehhh.wehehehh903I439U238 #MINE #CC

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