#Of course I’m petrified of losing them like everyone else

[thedvilsinthedetails]

goodnight tumblr

Fair warning the ramble in the tags is long af

[crazyk-imagine]

Part I: When We were Young

Pairing: Sirius Black x Wife!reader

Characters: Sirius Black, Wife!reader, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew

Briefly mentioned: Sybill Tawnley, Lily Evans, Harry Potter

Warnings: Flashbacks, angst, mentions of one's trauma, flashback to when the Potters died and Sirius was taken, reader's nickname is little bird, I might have made Peter more of a little shit and traitor, this is going to gut you the more you read, Sirius protecting everyone, reader scared of being alone, Sirius and reader are a power duo, this will make you all cry, the reader having special witch abilities

Word Count: 2,357

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You close your eyes, listening to the pitter patter on the roof, reminding you when you lost... everything.

You stop forcing yourself to close off your mind and let go, allowing everything you’ve been holding in, to be free.

He stares at you with a clenched jaw.

"Don't go," you plead with him. "Please, don't leave." You clutch onto his forearm.

He stares at you with furrowed brows, upset with himself for making his little bird cry. "I have to."

“Something is going to happen- has happened. I don’t want to lose you too.”

His hand brushes across your cheeks, wiping away your tears. “You’re not going to lose me,” the corner of his lips twitch. “I’ll be back before you know it.” A lie, he knows it well enough now (James told you two the same thing yesterday).

You don’t want to force him to stay if he doesn’t want to, but you can’t let him go, not when you’ve barely had him. “… please.”

“I have to do this.” The corner of his lips tugged upwards giving you more of a small smile. He nods, as a way to reassure you, silently promising to see each other soon, partially for you but mainly for himself. He turns around, his back facing you.

“You won’t make it back to me and- and Remus. We’ll be alone. We’ll be alone if you leave.”

He pauses, his shoulders tensing at your words.

Only your friends knew of the visions, it was too dangerous for anyone to know but you could always rely on them, they just never knew the extent to what you could see.

Another reason you keep away from Sybill, not wanting to put her in danger if she knew the extent of her powers.

“Do you know what happens?” He asks, over his shoulder, letting his hair cover you from the corner of his eye.

You shake your head. “I- I only know you don’t come back. Where you go after or what happens to you isn’t clear and I’m absolutely petrified that that means you’ve died or something much worse,” your voice trails off into a whisper as you tell him your fear. “Please don’t leave me alone. We never got to tell them-”

His shoulders begin to shake.

Your brows knit together, and you think he’s crying; belly aching laughter fills the room instead of gut-wrenching sobs.

He turns around, clutching his stomach, throwing his head back as he laughs as if you’ve told him the funniest thing.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Of course, you don’t see me coming back. I’m probably going to die.” His laughter dies down a bit after actually saying it out loud.

Your face turns sour. “And you think that’s funny?!”

“A bit, yeah. Of course, I’m the one who dies. It’s only fitting after everything-” he’s cut off.

A small echo reverberates off the walls.

He places a hand on his cheek, rubbing the now sore spot. He turns to look at you.

“You think it’s funny to joke about something like this... you- you dying is funny!” You run your fingers angrily through your hair. “How- no, no-” Your hands fall past your face. Your shoulders are tense, and your fingers are spread apart in anger. You could never understand why he was acting this way. “Why would you think that?!”

“What else am I supposed to do?”

You scoff. “For one, don't joke about you dying because it absolutely terrifies me.”

“I’m sorry, little bird.”

You nod, unsure of what to say next. “We should come up with a plan, right?”

“For?”

“A way to make sure James and Lily are okay before we go in there unprepared and potentially die.”

“I’ll go check on them and make sure everything is okay while you stay here and wait for me to come back, yeah?”

You blink once, glaring at him soon after. “You must be out of your damn mind if you think I’m going to let you go there alone.”

“You're staying here where it’s safe.”

“No!” You roar.

“Just listen to me-”

“You want me to stay here while you go over there without any backup. I’m not letting you go there alone.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Like hell I can’t.”

He cups your cheeks, forcing you to look into his eyes. “You... are... staying... here. I don’t want to be distracted because I’m worried that when I turn around, you’ll be dead.”

“What about me!” You cry.

“You need to stay here.” He places his forehead on yours, enjoying the warmth and thinking of how happy you two were the day before; you close your eyes, thinking of his face when you finally agreed to go out with him and how ecstatic you both were.

You place your hands on top of his. “Please don’t go,” you plead once more.

He slowly moves towards you, hands resting on your cheeks. “I can’t wait for tomorrow and hear that my friends are dead when I knew I could have done something tonight.”

“Let me go with you. Don’t make me stay here alone,” your grip tightens, digging into his skin, clinging to him for as long as you can.

“I can do this.”

“What has James always told you?”

He understands what you’re implying. “It's best to have backup.”

“I can be your backup. We work well together. We can do this, we’re husband and wife now, we’ll look out for one another like we’ve always done.”

He shakes his head, tears pooling in his eyes, blurring his vision. “I can’t let the woman I love come with me.”

“And I can’t let the man I love go into a death trap. I can’t bear nor stand the thought of not seeing you again. Please... don’t push me away and force me into staying here. Don’t make me live here… alone, without you.”

He swipes his thumb across your cheeks.

Your vision becomes cloudy due to the tears getting trapped in your lashes as more pool in your waterline. Your heart is heavy, as if on the verge of breaking, shocking it hasn’t already broke.

“I love you, that’s why I’m doing this for us.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ll be back before you know it.” He removes his hands from your cheeks and steps away.

“Sirius, please. Don’t go. Don’t go.” You sob, reaching for him. You wipe away your tears, but it becomes a complicated task as you continue to cry, and more tears are stuck in your lashes.

“I will come back to you, little bird.”

"Sirius! Don't leave. Don’t leave me. Please, don't go!" You’re right behind him, hand reaching out for him.

He tries not to tear up but fails, watching as you chase after him, reminding him of when you were children, but it was him doing the chasing… except for when he absolutely pissed you off.

He can’t leave.

You didn't know what went through his mind that night but, he was brought back to the last time he pissed you off, just before he asked you out.

A pleasant time for him because he knew that day and, in that moment, it was time he stopped being a chicken and ask you out.

-

“So, why are we running now?” Remus asks, barely breaking a sweat as he and Sirius pass by their other two friends (and members).

The other two glance at one another, the lighter haired boy shrugging his shoulders.

“Padfoot, where are you going?” James shouts, falling behind because he’s confused and has no idea why they’re running.

The mother hen of the group grabs the remaining member of their group, pulling him along as he protests along the way.

The boy with the longest hair out of the group, looks over his shoulder and smiles, catching the sight of your body turning the corner. “We’re running.”

“From?”

“Sirius Orion Black!” You shout.

“Run, Pads Run!” James calls out to him as he pulls Peter beside him, blocking you from getting him.

In his eyes, you looked so ethereal as you try and push past his brother, even more beautiful than Aphrodite herself.

-

He stops in front of you, remembering that day fondly, cupping your cheeks once more, pulling you closer, kissing you with everything he’s got.

Sirius continues to pull you closer towards him, needing to let you know he loves you one last time because you, you are his everything and being in a world without you is not a world to live in at all and he’ll be damned if he didn’t give you a proper goodbye.

You clutch onto him; afraid this is the end of your beginning even more so as your intimate kiss is powerful enough for you to see into his mind and see all of his memories revolving around you. You two part when you need to take a breath.

He can never keep his mouth shut. “Wow.”

You tilt your head, “what?”

“I mean I- I always knew you’d be good and maybe a little part of me expected you to be this amazing, because you always are and- wow.” He stares into your eyes, shifting from one to the other feeling as if he was losing more of his breath.

You smile. “Must you always be such a charmer.” Your face falls when you realize what’s happening. “You’re still leaving,” you sniffle.

He nods, “I have to.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do.”

You ignore him. “We can- we can come up with a plan and figure out how to stop he who shall not be named and protect everyone.”

“I-” He starts off, unable to take it anymore; he can’t hear you ramble on any further. “I’m doing this for the people I care for!”

“I can’t just let you go empty handed! You and I both know it’s always best to have someone by your side.” You grab his hand, clutching it knowing this is the last chance you have to keep him here, with you. “I want to be by your side for better or for worse.”

“And I want you to come with me. Merlin knows but I can’t stay in a world where we are afraid someone is going to come after us. I want you to stay where you’ll be safe. I’ll be back before you can say I’m gone. I always come back to you.”

“Why can’t you listen? Please don’t go,” you gasp, unable to hold in your sobs.

“I have to.”

“I’m scared.”

“So am I... but as long as I know that you’ll still be here by the time I come back, I’ll be okay.” He cups your cheek, thumb brushing against your cheek. “You are my hope.”

Your bottom lip quivers. “You’re mine too-”

“Then it’s done. You’ll see me tomorrow at the latest.”

You clench your jaw, more tears pooling in your waterline. “Fine.”

He nods. “Good. I will come back to you one way or another.”

“I know... I love you,” you whisper.

A smile tugs at his lips but he resists the urge to do so. “You couldn’t admit it before until I came to your rescue back at Hogwarts and now that I might die, you admit it again. Always a stubborn one, you were,” he jokes before the humor falls from his face.

“And I love you.” He makes his way towards the fireplace in your shared apartment.

You run towards him. “You know I don’t want you to go alone or at all. But please just- just- come back to me, Sirius.”

He nods, standing in place. “I know... this is something I have to do… for us. And you know I will. I always come back to you.” He winks then he’s gone.

Your lips twitch as your vision sways; the room spinning to the side making you wonder if your body moving the same way before collapsing onto your knees.

The pain in your limbs is there but you're too heartbroken to focus on the danger that's close to you as you plead with all your might to any god, wizard; whoever might be listening.

“Come back. Please come back.” You beg, banging your fists onto the floor. Too into your head, you’re unaware of who's that’s arrived.

“Heartbreaking, truly,” said the voice.

You froze, your entire body tensing at the voice (the voice of a traitor that is).

Then came the first time you thought you weren’t going to make it through the night.

"Have I interrupted your pity party?"

Your eyes widen as he steps closer, the moonlight being the only light illuminating his figure. "Peter?" You fully turn to see your so-called friend, standing for the opposing team; how could he have fallen so far and joined the side here to ruin lives.

Peter ignores your heated and confused gaze, opting to look at the picture behind you, remembering when you all were younger. His lips twitch before curling into a smirk full of hate at the memories of the way his friends treated him. "Do you know why I'm here?"

You don't say anything, still shocked the boy you all considered a friend nay a brother, is here to kill you.

"Still speechless?" He turns, the smirk turning into something more sinister, just for you.

"Not for you." You stare at the rat.

"She speaks."

You push yourself off the ground. "You won't win."

"I think you underestimate what they have in mind... for you."

“I won’t join you,” you sneer.

“I never said anything about you joining… little bird.”

“You don’t get to call me that!”

“Why?” He feigns a hurt expression. “Is it because only your precious husband can call you that?”

You're taken back, eyes widening. “How do you-”

“It was obvious, everyone knows.” He clicks his tongue, "so much for keeping it a surprise."

-

A fit of laughter follows Sirius as he’s taken away to Azkaban to fulfill his sentence.

You groan and roll over in bed, upset with the sun for peeking through the clouds, disturbing your slumber.

-

Continue to: Part II

-

Tag list:

@twinkletwinklenotastar @kmc1989 @imthebadguyyy @abaker74

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Memories of Touch

A 2.6k-word In Stars and Time oneshot featuring everyone's favorite Fighter. (This game ground me down to dust & then rebuilt me from the ashes and now I am irrevocably Changed. If you see this, please please PLEASE go play In Stars and Time.)

It’s the night before the end of the world, and Isabeau keeps remembering things that never happened.

[ISAT spoilers thru at least act 4! But I’m not totally clear on the delineation, so it’s prob safest to steer clear till you’ve finished the game.]

Isabeau doesn’t remember falling to his knees, but he must have, because he’s already on the floor. Hunched over Sif with both palms braced against the wound. But the wound is, it’s—too big, a seam that splits Siffrin from throat to navel and there’s so much blood, there’s so so so much blood. How can a guy that small even hold so much blood?

“Sif,” he chokes out. “Wh-Why?”

They already won, is the thing. They won!! They beat the King, they saved the country, there was— There should have been nothing left to run from. They were all so crabbing happy. Sif talked to each of them in turn, smiling, laughing, totally normal. Then he stared at the Head Housemaiden in total silence for at least five minutes, long enough that Isabeau started to think about stepping in the way. And then he turned around and walked down the steps and plunged the knife into his—

Of course Isabeau knows that Sif doesn’t like to be touched, but he can’t seem to stop. They feel so soft under his hands. And so cold. There’s so much blood in their hair that it feels gummy to the touch and their cloak is drenched black, their cheeks spattered with a hundred stark new freckles. Every breath they take pumps a little more blood onto the floor, like a hydraulic press. Their face is as white as their hair.

“Please,” Isabeau gasps, “p-please please please don’t leave, Sif, I—c-can’t lose you, please.”

Siffrin barely seems to hear. They cough up another gasp of blood before reeling back against the wall. Before he can stop himself, Isabeau is already moving, sliding around behind them so their head lands on his shoulder instead of cracking against the wall.

Siffrin tilts their head back to stare up at him, milky-eyed and rapturous. “Ohh,” they whisper. “You did it. You finally—”

—and Isabeau wakes up.

###

You know deja vu? That’s a thing people know about, right? The sense that you’ve seen something before, even though you’ve never seen anything like it?

Whatever’s happening to Isabeau, it’s the exact opposite of that.

Okayyy, okay, okay. He knows it doesn’t make any sense, okay? He can make it make sense. Just let him try again.

...Okay, it’s like this: It’s the night before the end of the world, and Isabeau keeps remembering things that never happened.

It’s like a portent that never comes true. A trauma flashback without the trauma. Which means it really is like deja vu. But only because both feelings are totally unfounded in reality. Instead of feeling like he’s seen something before, it’s like he’s seeing something new entirely. Like there used to be something familiar, and now there’s something else.

Ugh, that’s not right either, is it? He’s overcomplicating things again.

The crux of the matter is this: Isabeau keeps having nightmares about his new best friend. (And sure, yes, maybe the friend in question is also the love of his crabbing life. But that’s not really important right now.)

It’s weird, though. It’s not like worrying about Sif is anything new, but it’s never felt like this.

Isabeau sees Siffrin paralyzed and petrified. He sees them crushed and slashed and skewered. Siffrin is winking and they’re laughing and they're dead and dead and dead. Their battered body is branded on the inside of Isabeau’s eyelids, a light-show that never flickers to a stop.

Every time he closes his eyes, Iseabeau watches Siffrin die.

###

When the team finally reaches the second floor, the first thing they do is get themselves stuck.

Mirabelle is still in shock. The crying hasn’t started but she’s trembling, shaking all over like one of those small dogs that’s genetically predisposed to always need a sweater. Madame Odile is—inert. Unresponsive. Probably thinking of a way to research her way through that door lock. Bonnie still doesn’t get it; hasn’t had time to wrap their mind around the fact that they’re maybe stuck here forever, and not just for right now. And Siffrin…

…Huh. Sif is acting super normal, actually. They’re just circling the fallen boulder, prodding and prying and pressing on the cracks in the stone. Still trying to find the way forward.

Odile won’t appreciate an audience right now, so Isabeau sidles up to Sif. “Any luck?”

Siffrin jumps. “Oh. Um. I’m just… looking for a way around this rock. It’s just… It would save a lot of time…”

And possibly the entire country, yeah. “Can I help? I could give you a boost!”

Sif brightens. “Thanks, Isa. You rock.”

In spite of everything, Isabeau giggles. There’s something comforting about seeing Siffrin make jokes at a time like this.

“No, seriously,” Siffrin says solemnly. “It means a lot. I won’t take it for granite.”

“Pffffh— Sif!!!!”

“Isa.”

“You’re—!!!” But unfortunately, there’s no cool way to say, the coolest person I’ve ever met and, if you weren’t here, I would be totally losing my mind. Isabeau lets out his breath. “Here, just get on my shoulders already!!”

Sif squints at the boulder, then at Isabeau. He frowns. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Aw,” Isabeau says fondly. “Sif. Sifaroonie. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are a teeny-tiny little guy. Like a little mouse in a ginormous hat.”

“I’m not that small,” Siffrin huffs.

“It’s not a bad thing!! You’re—” Oh, crab, he almost said ‘adorable.’ “—fun-sized! Like I could carry you around in my pocket! It makes you a way smaller target, in a fight! It just also means you could climb me like a tree.”

The last thing he’s expecting is to see Siffrin to flush violently. But for a half-second before they tug their hat down over their face, that’s exactly what they do. “…Well. I guess your strength is illus-tree-ous.”

“Pffff!!!”

“And you are known for your gallan-tree.”

“Siff!!!!!!!”

“So I guess we could give it a shot. It’s the tree-ast I can do.”

“Sif!!” Isabeau squawks. “That one was bad!!!!!”

“Yeah,” Sif concedes, snickering. “I’ll have something better next time.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

So that’s all well and good, until it comes time for Isabeau to actually give them a boost. At which point he remembers that Sif hates to be touched, and that there is no good way to go about this.

Isabeau takes a knee in front of the boulder and tries not to cringe when Siffrin doesn’t move. “S-Sorry, this was dumb. You don’t have to—”

“No,” Sif says softly. “Um. Let me try.”

A moment later, there’s a featherlight pressure on his shoulder. Isabeau holds his breath. Then Sif’s grip tightens around the nape of his neck and Isabeau has maybe a second to lose himself in giddy daydreams before he remembers to stop being a creep and help his best friend save the world already.

“Okay!!” he squeaks. “I’m! Um! I’m… gonna stand up now, so… be careful?”

Siffrin scoffs. “I’m always careful.”

When Sif finally hops down, he doesn’t look defeated, just resigned. “Worth a shot,” he shrugs, and plunges his arm into the nearest Tear.

Isabeau can see the time-stop creeping up Sif's arm. Their Change draining away. The light in their eyes, the spark in their smile, guttering and going dark. Their skin turns cold—

###

—Isabeau jerks awake.

He clutches at his chest. Gasps for breath. Almost reaches out before he remembers himself. But it was just a stupid dream. In the real world, Siffrin is alive. Moving. Not frozen in time. Snoring gently just a few inches in front of him, peaceful and utterly restful. Breathing. Alive.

It takes hours before Isabeau can fall back asleep. The whole time, the back of his neck still tingles.

###

Siffrin finishes his malanga fritters. He checks in with the rest of their family, letting Bonnie pat his hands and sitting perfectly still, eyes creased with contentment, while Mirabelle brushes his hair. Then he wanders back toward Isabeau.

Isabeau smiles at them. Siffrin smiles back.

Isa waits for them to walk away, but Sif just keeps standing there, expectant. Poor guy. He must be really hungry.

Isabeau shoots them a rueful smile. “Aw, sorry, Sif! I’m all outta madeleines.”

“Oh. That’s okay. I don't want a madeleine.”

Isabeau looks dubious.

“I want a madeleine,” Sif concedes. “But it’s okay. I know you don’t have any. No, it's just—um.” He hesitates for a moment, shifting his weight. Then, with his gaze still fixed on the floor: “Everyone else touched me.”

Isabeau chokes.

“Mira brushed me,” Sif explains, like Isabeau wasn’t watching the whole time and burning with envy. “And Bonnie petted me. Even Odile messed up my hair. So I thought maybe you might do something new—I mean. Too. I thought you might do something, too.”

“Um,” Isabeau whispers. In the corner of his eye, he can see Odile watching him with all-too-visible amusement. He takes a moment to send thanks to the Change God for making Sif too dense to notice. “I—um. Haha, I… How do you—or, I mean— Wh-Where do you want me to…” He can’t even say it out loud. Crab, he is such a loser. “…Um. Y-You know. Touch?”

Siffrin’s head tilts. “Where do you want to touch?”

Oh, crab. Oh, crab, how is he supposed to answer that??? Ideally in a way that doesn’t reveal that he’s already spent weeks of his life daydreaming about all the ways he might touch Siffrin, if they’d let him. If it wouldn’t make them flinch away. “U-Um!! I—”

“Oh,” Sif mumbles, tugging their hat over their face. Then they look up through their lashes, smiling. “Haha, sorry, that was weird. It’s okay. You don’t have to—“

“No!!” Isabeau blurts out. “Please! Don’t just—I’m just!! Just give me a second to…”

“It’s fine, haha! Really! There’s nothing to explain. I was just, um, joking.”

Isabeau’s face falls. “You were… joking?”

“...Yeah,” Sif says quietly. “Sorry. I guess it wasn’t a very good joke.”

###

“Hey, Isa?”

Isabeau jolts awake. Was he sleeping standing up? How the heck was he sleeping standing up? He thought that only happened in stories. But he's standing near the Favor Tree and Sif is looking up at him, even though he doesn't remember them walking up, so he must have been asleep. “Oh!! Sif!! Hi, Sif!!”

“Hey, Isa.”

“What’s up, buddy!”

“I was just wondering.” Siffrin chews their lip. “Um. Why won’t you touch me?”

The sun stops rising. The world stops Changing. All reality hangs in the balance. “Huh????”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer,” Sif says softly. “I know it doesn’t matter. I was just curious.”

“N-No! I just! I…” Isabeau hesitates. “You… don’t like it, right?”

It’s not like he hasn’t tried. He’s tried to touch Sif a million times. Not in a weird way!!!! Just in a very normal, adult, companionable sort of way. The same way he’d fling an arm around Mira’s shoulders, or tousle Bonnie’s hair.

But when you try it on Siffrin, they always, always flinch. They jump. Their eye goes huge and round. Like a trapped animal. Too scared to fight, but with nowhere left to run.

“No,” Sif mumbles. Which is reassuring, until they add, “I don’t not like it.”

“Y. You don’t.”

Siffrin shakes their head.

But then why do they always jump? “But—“

“I’m not used to it,” Siffrin says quietly. “I don’t—um. People… mostly don’t touch me.”

“B-But you want them to.”

Siffrin shrugs.

“You want… me to?”

Siffrin tugs the brim of their hat over their face. “Never mind. Sorry. I was just—

“No!!!” Isabeau gasps. “I—just— Will you just!! Give me a second!!!”

Siffrin’s eyebrows twitch. “Sure.”

Isabeau covers his face with both hands. Oh, crab, why is this happening now? They’ve been on the road for weeks! Siffrin has been unbearably, irrevocably, lethally cute for weeks! Isabeau wanted to touch him a million years ago! But now it’s been so long that he’s— He can’t even remember how people touch each other!!

“Um. U-Um! I! Um… Wh-What do you want me to…”

“…touch?” Sif asks patiently.

Isabeau chokes back a sob.

“Well,” Sif says softly. “What do you want to touch?”

But, h-haha!! That’s— It’s an impossible question!! There’s no right answer!! Or… maybe there’s every right answer? Because Isabeau wants to touch everything. Everywhere. Every inch of them. The nape of their neck, the tips of their fingers… Isabeau just, he just— He just wants. “Um—!!!”

Sif is already shaking their head. “Sorry. Never mind. I won’t try it again.”

###

Isabeau doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have, because he’s already dreaming.

It’s one of those weird dreams: the ones that blur the line between waking and dreaming, like the dream aggregated around his actual physical reality. He’s in bed in the Clocktower—which is, as far as he knows, where he's actually sleeping. But he knows it’s a dream because, in real life, Siffrin would never shake him awake by the scruff of his shirt.

“Sif, what…”

“Isa,” Siffrin whispers, “Isa, please, I have to know if this is real, I have to know if I’m—here, if anything is here, if I can feel anything. I can’t keep going like this, I can feel myself fading, or—splintering, I—”

“S-Sif!!!” Crab, he wants to touch them so bad. Isabeau is a hugger. It’s the surest way he knows how to care about someone. But Sif hates being touched, so none of the usual rules apply. “Sif, hey. Hey, hey, breathe. Can you breathe with me? Can you take a deep breath?”

“It’s not enough.” For a second, Siffrin’s eyes look frighteningly dark. “I just—I need to know if any of this, if any of me is real. I need you to make me feel real.”

“Anything,” Isabeau says, helpless. “Just tell me what you need.”

“You have to touch me,” Siffrin whispers. They might as well have drawn their blade and stabbed him. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I know it’s awful but I’m—I think I can keep going if you just touch me, Isa, please. Please, I’m—I’ve been losing my mind, I—”

“Sif,” Isabeau breathes. “What—or, I mean— How do you—”

“Anywhere. Everywhere. Just hold me, Isa, please.“

Isabeau knows it isn’t real, but that doesn’t mean he’s strong enough to look away. He lunges forward, wraps both arms and legs around them and dies a little when he feels Sif burrow into his chest, like they’re trying to press even closer. He can feel them shuddering in his arms, shaking like a leaf in high winds, but when he buries one hand in their hair and crushes them against his chest he can feel the spasms subside a little. He can feel them settling, stilling as they relax against him. Oh, crab. It feels like his heart is going to burst.

“S-Sif—“

“Please,” Sif whispers. “I know. I know, I know, I'm sorry. But just… just a little longer.”

###

“Isa,” Siffrin says.

Isabeau jerks awake. He was… Was he daydreaming? What was he daydreaming about? He shakes himself off. “Sif! Aw, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? I get it.”

“I have to do the tree thing.”

“Oh. I mean—sure, yeah! I’ll just, uh, give you some space!”

“Right,” Sif says quietly. “Space.”

Even after he turns to walk away, Isabeau can still feel them watching. A sort of tingle on the back of his neck. Like deja vu, only in reverse. Fingerprints that Siffrin never left, from contact that never happened. The memory of their touch.

I'm chewing on the idea of writing a lil postgame epilogue as part 2 of this story, so.... if you wanna find out if (/when???) I update, feel free to swing by ao3 & subscribe to the series!

[claire-starsword]

Max’s diary - Chapter 2

(5) Month of the Green Swallow, Day 15

We've only just got to Rindo, but we're setting off to Manarina immediately. But ahead of us were a bunch of monsters protecting the city and a vast desert. In terms of distance, it's around the same as going from Guardiana to Alterone. But, our movement is definitely worse in the desert. We kept whining about it as we walked, and if the Dark Mages hit us with Blaze, it'd just get even hotter. They also won't advance on their own. I keep trying to come up with a brilliant idea, like breaking through them without taking damage, but it seems impossible. My plans need to make sure they don't wipe several people at once... Being a leader is tough. If only Nova had come along. By the way, I don't think Zombies fit this kind of dry desert? What do you think?

___

(6) Month of the Green Swallow, Day 26

The greatest authority in Manarina, Otrant, said we should challenge the Cavern of Darkness. We don't know what to expect in this journey, so getting to understand our destiny here would be great... Also the princess of Guardiana, Anri, will be fighting with us from here on. She doesn't know much about me, so I gotta do my best to show her what kind of person I am.

Inside the cavern is very damp. That kind of place is of course crawling with Zombies. Well, I'll leave them to Tao who looks eager to Blaze stuff. The problem is the Skeleton guarding the treasure chest with (I think) the Orb of Light. Those bones look tough. So I guess I'll send Gort. I'll let everyone else handle it.

___

(7) Month of the Blue Deer, Day 2

We sneaked into the circus tent looking for the mayor's grandchild, and that fortune-telling lady I saw in Alterone was there. Turns out she's from Runefaust. She said a bunch of harsh things at me and left. What stayed behind were her clone, the Mishaela Doll, and circus monsters. Well okay then. Let's fight them. But, Mishaela Doll's Freeze level 3 is way too cold. Once she uttered the spell, the pillars supporting the circus tent froze. I'm afraid the ceiling will collapse because of that. I'll start by asking Tao and Anri to cast Blaze and make a bonfire. We gotta keep warm or we'll lose any will to fight. Gong's barely wearing anything.

___

(8) Month of the Blue Deer, Day 10

I met Darksol for the first time. He said a bunch of things I didn't understand much and left. When I realized, I was surrounded by Zombies. I guess that was trap that the petrified Balbaroy warned about. I could retreat with Egress for now but, I'll do it if we get close to losing.

I mean, as long as I don't get defeated it's fine. I'll do my best along everyone that believes in me.

There's a lot of Zombies, so I need Tao and Anri to be working to the max. The warriors will fight the Skeletons. Mae and Ken will be giving support. Huh? Arthur, what are you doing? Hey, hey. You don't work with the laundry anymore, stop doing the laundry. If you want to help then fight. Please. I'm begging you...

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?�� He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

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[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Nyx

Nyx is a primordial goddess and the Greek personification of Night - the mother of Hypnos, Thanatos, Nemesis, and many more. She's a mysterious figure in their mythos as there's little surviving info about her cult. What is known, however, is that she was portrayed as beautiful, powerful, and feared by Zeus himself.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx

Lucifer 

What happens when you take a being born from the darkness and place them in a realm of eternal night…?

The answer came when the MC first stepped out of the portal. Everyone in the room was wholly expecting a normal-looking, confused human they could get up to speed, however…

The MC's skin suddenly darkened until it was as black as a shadow, their clothes levitated around them as if they were defying gravity, and glimmering speckles dotted their skin like twinkling stars.

Even their eyes turned a pure, glowing white without irises or pupils… Like two crowning stars locked into a body made from the shimmering night sky...

They weren't human. At the time, Lucifer wasn't even sure he could say what they were... Breathtaking, certainly, but there was something else about them that he couldn't place… something… foreboding...

Diavolo must have had the same unease because Barbatos was put in charge of monitoring them. The butler would send reports to them both and the results would range from benign to nerve-racking...

They kept their distance from his brothers and most people, but their power seemed immense... Barbs would report seeing them making small items float or summoning a meteor shower from their fingertips!

Lucifer ended up actually tasting their powers only once. When they stepped in to protect Beel and Luke and he went to attack them…

The whole House began to shake and the candles of the tomb started going out one by one as the air grew intolerably heavy... He could have sworn he saw a vortex of… something... swirling at their feet...

He backed off immediately and Beel and Luke got off with a warning, mostly because he was trying not to look utterly petrified...

He's never met a more beautiful and dangerous creature in his life… Pact mark or no, this is probably the only person the firstborn will admit he never wants to have to fight because he'd lose, big time.

Mammon

He was expecting to find a human when he walked into the Student Council room, not an alien!!

Mammon was seriously scared of the MC when they first met because he legitimately believed they were an extraterrestrial sent to probe him!!... Or whatever else those scary movies say aliens do, lay eggs in his stomach?

He straight up avoided them like the plague until the Goldie incident more or less bound them together. But even then there was a distance between them he just couldn't place…

Naturally, it bothers a demon a bit if their master doesn't seem to like them, so he eventually cornered them one day to force them to tell him why they'd been running off!

As it turned out, the MC actually knew as little about their new form everybody else! They had been perfectly normal in the human world, but for some reason the Devildom supercharged them! They could tell that they were powerful, but had no idea how to control themselves yet and it scared them...

So Mammon became their first unofficial "coach." Not that he knew how to train them or anything, but he was the first person supportive enough to even try to help them learn their new powers.

It led to some… interesting misadventures. Like when the MC unexpectedly burst every water pipe in the House or when they got a little too frustrated and ripped the kitchen apart with an accidental twister, but hey, Mammon was always there for them at least.

Of course, because he's who he is, he's not above asking the MC to help him with his schemes for "training purposes…" Infiltration is more fun if you're weightless, after all!

Speaking of weightless… His favorite way to float is when the MC gets excited and hugs him. They can't help but levitate them both off the ground when they're that happy and it makes the whole hug that much sweeter.

Leviathan 

It's… it's like he's in his very own Magical Girl anime!!! Uh, "I'm a Demon and this is My New Life with a Magic Starchild!!"-or something like that. 🤷‍♀️

He didn't even think their transformation was real when he first saw it! He really thought it was an elaborate body art cosplay but then their "freckles" rearranged themselves when he frightened them, so it had to be real!!

He'll declare that they're probably (literally) the coolest thing on the planet. They have the looks of an epic fantasy character plus insane powers to boot! 

…though uh… they may need a training arc or two to learn how to control them… 😅

Since their powers are apparently tied to their emotions, Levi's seen them do a whole bunch of stuff that's not entirely on purpose... Like, they can make things float when they're happy and push everything down when they're sad. 

So once he showed them one of those "tragic ending" animes for fun, but they cried so hard that they increased gravity and accidentally sent his bathtub crashing into the basement…

The worst of it is when they're mad, though. He made the mistake of making them play a rage game once and they ended up shattering all the glass in his room! His aquarium wall and Henry's fishtank included!!

They were able to make a zero G sphere of water in order to save Henry's life, but the cleanup was brutal… They were super sorry, but Levi took most of the blame himself anyway.

Honestly, he'd have been more mad but their body is clearly not something they can control just yet. Plus, it's so cool that he can put up with a little destruction anyway, you know?

Satan

Well, isn't that an interesting phenomenon?

Meeting a demigod is exciting enough, but one who reacted to the Devildom like that? It was pretty much unheard of!

Though he'd hate to admit it, Satan stalked the MC just as closely as Barbatos for a little while... But only because he was a little unsure of how to approach them…

They kept to themselves and their powers seemed "a little" unpredictable (see Levi's orphaned bathtub). Thankfully, Mammon ended up recommending the MC to him since Satan's one of the smartest guys around.

Satan made a better coach than Mammon, anyway. He was far more knowledgeable and actually able to hypothesize the strength their powers, which came in handy because uh… well…

Look. The whole realm 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' over their appearance but they're all fools - no morons - for not noticing what potential the MC actually has. Satan was positive that the MC is the most powerful being in the Devildom, without question.

They had a complete control over gravity, atmospheric pressure, and even astronomical bodies… If they wanted to, they could literally pluck a planet out of orbit and send it careening into who knows what!

Want more terrifying? They could create near-matterless vacuums at the palms of their hands with the potential to suffocate, crush, or rip apart basically anything they wanted with implosive force….

Does he even need to spell out why that's utterly horrifying??

At least the MC seemed to be a genuinely nice person who wanted to control their powers better… Their emotions often got in the way but they tried their best.

He likes the MC a lot, but he'd be lying if he said that they didn’t also terrify him… They may have been pretty normal in the human world, but give them endless night and they may as well be a god...

Asmodeus 

Oh… My… Father!!! They're GORGEOUS!!!!

From the moment their transformation completed, Asmo had never seen anything like them! He said that they were like a living droplet of the night sky!

They were magnificent!! They were radiant!!! He was posting pictures of them before they had even said their first sentence!!

So Asmo was pretty much patient zero for any and all rumors and hype about the MC after that... Apparently someone like them only visits the Devildom every one, maybe two, centuries so everybody was bound to get talking.

Thankfully, the MC's habit of ducking out of the House kept them from becoming a full on sideshow. Unfortunately, however, Asmodeus was relentless!

He'd beg them to try modeling or make videos with him because of their unique look! He'd lay on the praises, but it was a little... much. It wasn't until Mammon finally stepped that he backed off a bit.

Asmo sometimes forgets that not everyone puts as much emphasis on looks as he does... Though he meant well, he hadn't realized that the MC maybe wouldn't appreciate him making such a big deal out of their appearance change. Pretty as it was, it was still involuntary to them...

Of course, after they told him this he cooled off and stopped putting them out there so publicly but even still he could hardly keep his eyes off of them... unless he was looking in a mirror, of course. 😘

A fun fact about the MC: when they blush, their skin makes a pink nebula. And thanks to his antics, Asmo has seen their lively pink cheeks many, many times… 🤭

Beelzebub 

Belphie would like them, wouldn't he...?

Beel's first reaction upon seeing the MC was genuine sadness, as seeing the stars with his twin brother still gone often brought him… 

The sadness didn't last too long at least because Beel tried his best to see the MC more like a person than a work of art or an oddity. Sure, they looked different - like really different - but they still laughed, cried, and ate like everybody else so they couldn't be that different.

Though then again, most people don't end up floating in midair when they laugh… Eh, oh well. It's not like those little details bother him. 🤷‍♀️

He always remained certain that Belphie would like the MC so he told them a lot about him. Since his twin loved stargazing, it'd only be natural that he'd like someone who looked like the stars, right?

Aside from the occasional tangent about his brother, Beel would also help the MC with their training by letting them help him with his training!

Controlling gravity can be pretty nifty for strength/resistance exercises, so there would be days where Beel would just pull a Dragon Ball and walk around at 1.5 or 2 times Earth's gravity thanks to having the MC on his back!

Sure, lifting a glass of milk becane so difficult that he literally broke a sweat from trying, but he felt like he can juggle motorcycles afterwards so who's complaining? Not him!

Belphegor 

……

………….

Was it some kind of joke?

The MC was not human. There was no way in heaven or hell that whatever he lured to the attic was supposed to be a human!!

Really, everything about the MC and their situation seemed directly designed to throw a monkey wrench into his plans...

One: They weren't human so how was he supposed to ruin Diavolo's dream? Two: They were clearly some kind of magical being so they could likely defend themselves…

But third ans most embarrassing of all... he honestly, genuinely, has never seen a more amazing person in his life. Blame it on his soft spot for the stars, but the moment the MC step up to his prison bars, he was smitten...

And. He. HATED IT!

Look, as much as he loved the night sky, he wasn't about to let some random non-human derail his anger! He was stronger than that!

He managed to hold onto his bitterness just long enough to make a halfhearted attempt on their life after they got the door open, but uh…

His brothers found Belphie when he fell through a newly-made hole in the ceiling... Said hole was made when his body slammed to the ground hard enough to crash through the attic floor... 😣

If the damage they caused wasn't enough to change his mind (which it was), then their distress when they thought they might have hurt him certainly did. Even their tears looked like stardust...

After far too long, Belphie got over his denial and began to properly love MC. If he liked stargazing before, he adored it now because he never even has to get out of bed! He can just roll over and follow the "stars" on the MC's body!

Unfortunately, that same love means it also takes a lot to ditch him if they get sick of being his personal night's sky… The brothers have found him floated up and sleeping on the ceiling on numerous occasions so the mortal can get some fresh air (clever MC)...

[dreamkidddream]

I’m the Doll!MC Anon and I just wanna say I’m so glad that you enjoy a soft/delicate!MC and I really didn’t expect it to get so much love!

Since I kinda want to be evil and see the boys be overprotective, can I request hc’s of them seeing Doll!MC getting hurt by some lesser demon that bumps her into the ground and she gets a bruise? 🌚

Omg Doll Anon I wasn’t expecting it to get so much love either (here’s the original Doll!MC HCs if anyone wants to read)!! So I actually had your request saved for when I was done with the prompt special bc it’s so good, so I decided to combine them and I have definitely been waiting to write this 😈😈 Reader is gender neutral!

CW: mention of blood (nothing graphic) and spoilers for Lesson 16 (Lucifer, Mammon, Beel, and Belphie’s part)

The Brothers and Diavolo with Doll!MC who Gets Hurt

Lucifer

Okay whoever is dumb enough to hurt you in front of him deserves this 100%

The air around this man is already more than intimidating, so whoever tries this is a poor, stupid soul

When he saw you fall down the stairs, he felt his stomach turn. He already caught you before you could injure yourself further, but after seeing the blood coming down your face, the damage was already done

Now, Lucifer is the brother who always has control over himself and what he does. But, we also know that how his temper can get, especially when it comes to his family

This demon is dumb enough to push you but not dumb enough to crack a smile in front of him, especially with how tense Lucifer is getting right now

He sat you up and tried to remember some first aid techniques to stop the bleeding. You’re on the verge of losing consciousness, but you’re okay right now. He’ll take you home, but first-

His glare is making the demon freeze in place right now, and the anger radiating off of him is petrifying

How dare- how dare this fool harm you, in front of him no less?! Did they think that he wouldn’t do anything? That Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride, one of the strongest demons to ever grace the Devildom, would just idly stand by and let this happen?

He’s stalking towards them, and he can feel his fangs showing and his diamond appearing on his forehead, growling out how they will pay for this-

But he’s stopped by Lord Diavolo, who was shocked by the scene. You’re unconscious, and Lucifer has this poor student hanging in the air by their uniform, claws ready to slice through them. Needless to say, he understands why his close friend is upset, but for everyone’s safety he should just take you home like planned

You thought Lucifer was a helicopter parent before? You haven’t seen NOTHING yet

He would start inviting you more to his room to sleep in his bed while he works away, and it started happening so much that he didn’t even ask anymore and started expecting you to always be in there

So instead of him being glued by your side, you’re glued to his. It’s obvious that he can’t let you out of his sight without something happening (again), so hope you’re ready to see experience Lucifer’s daily routine from sunrise to sunset and a whole new set of rules. Basically playing follow the leader, but with a lot more handholding and kisses

You had to practically beg to be back into the kitchen, and he only relented when he could be the one to supervise you, and even then he still didn’t want to hold anything sharp or be near anything that could injure you (which is pretty much everything)

The main one to put a stop to his brothers’ schemes, handing out harsher punishments than before each time they try to involve you. This man is not playing any games with anyone

You know he means well, he was already overprotective from the start, and this is just his way of showing that he cares about you. You can tell every time he gives you that soft look in his eyes, and the regret that he shows every time he catches sight of your bruise. He may not like to be vulnerable, but he couldn’t hide his emotions from you too long. You’re like a weakness to him, one that he isn’t against indulging in

And he hasn’t forgotten about that student, oh no. He made sure to have a nice lengthy chat with them when you both returned to RAD. You didn’t question it when he informed you that the student had been rightfully punished and no longer an issue, and you tried to ignore the red dots splattered on his shoes, or that sadistic gleam in his eyes...

Mammon

This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening-

The blood is pouring from your head, and your eyes are closing too fast for him, and his heart stops

You look lifeless, like when Belphie killed you, when he was too late to save you-

He’ll never forget that image, it’s drilled deep into his mind, forever a reminder of his failure to protect you. And now he failed again-

This demon is gloating about this, and that’s when he snaps

He was already in his demon form and beating the life out of them when he was restrained. Many people were shocked that he was capable of this, that Mammon the scumbag, Mammon the dummy, Mammon the punching bag was capable enough to be this dangerous, this deadly. He’s the second born after all, and he’s the strongest right under Lucifer himself, and he holds a lot in

He could- he would do a lot more because they deserve it, but just seeing you so still, it snaps him out of it. You’re more important to him than getting his anger out, and you’re the one he needs to be focusing on right now. But rest asssured, this isn’t over

You thought he was attached to you before? He is glued to your side 24/7 and will not be leaving anytime soon. Ever since you woke up he never let go of you, calling you “his human” and just hugging you tight

Also if you have to go down the stairs you guys are FLYING no exceptions! The stairs are the devil in his eyes (how ironic) and he will not be risking anything with you

If you guys aren’t out and about under his careful and watchful eye (and I mean very careful, he’s like your very own bodyguard but with a lot more growling and snapping on strangers than usual), then you’re in his room doing whatever. Watching movies, playing cards and somehow beating him every time (he swears that he isn’t letting you win! Lies), whatever you wanna do. As long as you’re with him, giggling and safe, he’s happy and stress free

You mean so much to Mammon MC, he can’t even tell you if he tries. Under his tsundere traits, he really loves you, like really loves you! He’s just so scared of being rejected and losing you a second time. But now that he knows you’ll always be there for him, he’s going to do the same for you (but he already was even if you didn’t like him) He hates looking at that bruise right now, but it’s set as a reminder to not let something happen to you again

Also, another thing that people forget about Mammon is that he can talk to crows. So it wasn’t much to have them track down the person who caused you pain, and it didn’t take long for him to find them either. He thinks that the aftermath will set a good lesson for everyone else who continues to underestimate him when it comes to you: don’t

Leviathan

See, this is why he never leaves his safe haven AKA his room!

After he saw your head hit the ground hard, he was freaking out. He doesn’t know what to do, he wasn’t prepared for this! He tried shaking you to keep you awake, but your eyes were steady closing

Everything is happening in slow motion. You’re slumped over on the ground while the person who did it is laughing at him

If anything, the person who did it should be the one on the ground, not you, not his Henry. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!

The demon stopped laughing when their windpipe was getting crushed by the second. They couldn’t even try to loosen the grip, Levi’s tail is rather strong, and so is he. He is the third strongest out of his family and the Grand Admiral of the Navy, yet people tend to forget that

Everyone knows how bad Levi’s tantrums can be, but this isn’t just a tantrum, it’s much worse. Had the brothers not intervene, he would have done much worse than summoning Lotan (which he was on the brink of doing anyway)

When you did wake up, he was so upset. Of course he let this happen, he’s just a worthless otaku who couldn’t even keep his crush safe-

OMG why are you hugging him and patting his head?! Quit it- well wait, this does feel kinda nice...Ugh you’re such a normie! Getting hurt so easily and still trying to put a smile on his face. But it does make him feel better

He rarely left his room before, and you guys are definitely not leaving it now. It’s like having a sleepover, but it never ends. That sounds great, right MC? Endless marathons of TSL and other anime, co-op video games, trying on his cosplay outfits that he made (some even made just for you and he needs to cover that bruise somehow), it’s going to be so fun and you’ll be safe with him! Who wouldn’t want that??

We all know that Levi is very self conscious. He knows that he isn’t confident like Lucifer and Mammon, or attractive like Asmo, or smart like Satan or Belphie, or physically fit like Beel, he knows. But every time you listen to him ramble on about this new anime show that he wants you guys to binge, or when he rants about a stupid move his teammate did in an online match, he feels valued. He feels loved. And while it’s hard for him to express his feelings, it’s no doubt in his mind that you’re important to him, and that he’s beyond happy that someone like you is his best friend

One day he’ll get the courage to say those three words, but he hopes that you already know with everything that he does for you

For example, Levi is an aquatic demon, and he has the ability to communicate with all types of sea creatures. Granted, he knows right from wrong, but in his eyes he’s taking care of the problem. So it wouldn’t be a huge issue if he used them to clean up the remaining mess of said problem, right? I mean, his venom can only do so much, and he doesn’t need anyone questioning him, and Lotan does get hungry...

Satan

He could only see red. Both from his anger surfacing and from the fact that you’re bleeding

He had his claws wrapped around the neck of the one responsible before they could even think about running. This- this filth dared tried to escape after he hurt you? And they thought that Satan would just let them get away with it?

They must forget that he’s the Avatar of Wrath, the one who doesn’t show mercy

He just kept pounding the demon into the ground, over and over and over and over. He didn’t even care about the blood splatter it was leaving on the lockers or on him

He was this close to finishing them off when he heard you call out for him, and it took everything in him to drop them. He squeezed their neck a final time, not even close to being satisfied with the whimper he heard, and growled out a promise of that he will find them and will make sure that they suffer before he threw them down. They better count themselves lucky that they get to crawl away in one piece (for now), because had you not been there-

Oh, he is seething the more he thinks about it

But you bleeding is a distraction from it, even if it is making his stomach turn, it’s helping him know that he needs to help you now

He didn’t have to let his brothers know as they came to see what the commotion was, and Lucifer (even if he didn’t want to believe it himself) was anxious that he was the cause of it. But after he saw the hold he had on you and another demon barely clinging onto life, he knew otherwise

It was decided that you two going home would be the best course of action (which it didn’t matter to Satan, you both weren’t going to stay here whether it was demanded or not), and he calmed down enough to properly treat you

You didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day, and he even gave up his bed for you to lie in so that he can do some research. The human body is a complicated thing, but Satan can learn it like the back of his hand just for you. So just go ahead and rest for now MC- or maybe not, you might have a concussion according to this book and if you do he needs to monitor your condition!

Even after you were healed, he didn’t let you out of his sight and daily checkups were a must. Dr. Satan is in the building!

You eventually moved back into your room (you would have stayed longer but he’s a little nervous with his towering stacks of books and doesn’t want anymore accidents), but he practically moved in with you with how much he comes over, either falling asleep at your desk reading a book or falling asleep in your chair right next to your bed

Very reluctant to have you around stairs, it makes the hairs on his neck stand up. He’ll let you go down the stairs ONLY if you’re holding his hand. If you’re upset with those conditions (spoiler alert you’re not), then you better be ready to learn some teleportation spells (but even then he’s still not leaving your side)

He doesn’t hold his temper back with the others when it comes to you for the time being. If he even senses that Mammon, Asmo, or Levi is coming to you with something that can cause trouble, he’s growling at them to leave you alone, horns slowly coming out and tail whipping furiously

However, he tries not to lash out in front of you. He realizes that he lost control with that demon, and how it could have terrified you had you been fully conscious, but he doesn’t want you to think that he’s just a monster. He wants you to continue to treat him like you do now, and not have the image of bashing someone’s bloody body on the floor repeatedly

Speaking of bashing someone, Satan made well on his promise of coming back. The demon thought that avoiding coming back to school would save them, but Satan is a genius, and has many associates that he can sweet talk to get what he wants. It didn’t take much to figure out where they went, and he made sure to get out all of his pent-up frustrations from that fateful day. He felt better when he came home, but he needed to take a shower before he went to see you...

Besides from that, he does appreciate the peace that you do bring him. You just have this aura around you that’s so calming to him, and he needs to steal you away more he realizes

Also you make better cat-themed desserts than the cafe and he can’t risk Beel eating them all again

Asmodeus

He’s shook, and not in the good way

He just had your hand in his, complaining about how you cuticles look so good and his is lacking and how guys have to go to the nail salon after class, and then your hand is jerked from his, your form at the bottom of the stairs

The blood staining your uniform is alarming, but he can’t worry about that now. He’s trying to keep you talking, but you’re already on the verge of passing out

“MC, you can’t sleep yet! We have plans to go to the nail salon remember? And I need you awake so we can talk about what matching color we’re getting! So what color should we get now, MC? MC? MC!”

He’s trying to keep himself from panicking, but he can’t help it! You’re suppose to be smiling and laughing with you, loving him, but you’re unconscious on the ground, and he’s scared

Quickly dials Lucifer and tells him the whole situation, and he’s surprised to find himself blinking back tears

The demon who did this is long gone by the time Lucifer and Diavolo come, but he remembers the face, and he has something exciting planned when he comes face to face with them

Obviously you have to go home, but Asmo is so distraught that he has to go home with you. But when you wake up, prepare to be tackled to the bed with him crying his eyes out. All you can do is try to comfort him and tell him that okay, giving him little kisses on his cheek

But now that the sadness is out of the way (all this crying and worrying is causing him stress wrinkles), it’s time for a makeover/stress relief!

Fashion shows, makeovers, painting nails, face masks, the whole nine yards. All in the comfort of his dazzling room!

It’ll make you both feel and look better, and honestly you two need that right now. It also gives him the opportunity to cover that unappealing bruise. Your beauty outshines it but it’ll be best to cover it up for your and his sake (mainly his)

Every time Asmo sees your bruise, he gets upset and he’s tired of being reminded of what happened. He knows that he’s only loved for his looks, his vanity, but you see more in him than that

You’re...you’re the first person that loves him for him entirely, not because of his features. And when he tells you that he loves you, he honestly means it. He would have never thought he would fall so deep for someone, let alone a human, but...he’s glad that it’s you. He’s happy that it’s you

Which is why he wants to keep you safe and injury-free. Plus, your skin is too pretty and doll-like to be roughed up!

You guys still go out of course, he just has a better eye on you now. This one incident isn’t going to hold him back for picking out new cute outfits for you!

And don’t think he forgot about that demon who caused all of this in the first place. He actually waited by their locker, and convinced them to come with him. But what should Asmo do with them? He could always have them steal Beel’s food, annoy Lucifer, say something horrible about Ruri-Chan, the possibilities are endless! As long as they don’t cause him to get dirty, of course

Or maybe they should do something so severe that they have no reason than to leave RAD forever, or even leave the Devildom forever, depending on how far he’s willing to take it. He’ll do anything if it means you’re safe and he gets to keep you all to himself

Beelzebub

He thought it was an accident at first, you get so excited about things that you stumble over your own feet sometimes, but he’s always there to catch you or pick you up

You keep saying that you’re okay as he’s holding onto you, and after he sits you up he’s confused because he smells blood. His heart is beating a little quicker, and you’re not talking anymore, and your head is drooping, and that’s when he sees the blood running down the side of your face

He’s starting to panic, and he’s so scared that if he tightens his hold against you he’ll just make things worse, that he’ll just hurt you more. But he needs to go find Lucifer, he needs to get you help, you’re feeling so light in his arms and it reminds him of the Celestial War when he witnessed his sister dying-

He hears someone snickering behind him, and that’s when he loses his temper

You’re a part of his family now, someone that he loves and cares for more than he can describe, and they did this to you? Someone who wouldn’t even squish a bug, someone who made him late night snacks without even asking, always there to give him hugs after his games no matter how sweaty, someone that put his family back together and they did this to you?

Lucifer and Mammon struggled to hold him back after they found the demon flung through the wall, laying under the rubble. Beel just kept growling, fangs bared and wings buzzing. He won’t stop trying to get out of their hold, and he keeps inching closer and closer to the demon, and it’s only a matter of time before he finishes what he started

You were already in the infirmary getting treated, and Beel isn’t calming down anytime soon so you were both escorted home

You woke up to Beel upset and pouting. He’s so worried about you that he couldn’t even eat. Beelzebub could not eat, that’s how you knew this was a something serious

Poor Beel was so terrified of hurting you himself that he failed to protect you from the people that do want to hurt you, or worse

But this won’t happen again, he swears, both to you and himself. Move over Mammon, Beel is officially your new bodyguard!

Wherever you go, Beel is right behind you, literally. He’s like your shadow, just bigger and a lot more...menacing. Also isn’t taking any chances with Mammon’s schemes, just carrying you away before he can even open his mouth about another get rich quick plan

Speaking of carrying, you are not allowed to walk down the stairs anymore. As soon as you step near some you find yourself in his arms like it’s nothing. Both at home and at school, it doesn’t matter to him

Also he’s very cautious to have you around people besides his brothers, and the exchange students (but he’s still hesitant about Solomon, anyone who can cook food like him is automatically getting the side eye)

Also you practically moved in with the twins, and it’s nothing compared to the sleepovers before. Belphie sleeps easier, Beel’s stomach is satisfied (eating your homemade sweets with you is better than everything combined at Hell’s Kitchen, and trust me he knows) he feels all warm inside, and you’re protected. Everyone’s happy!

Beel is a sweet guy, just don’t come in between his family or his food. After that whole incident with the demon, everyone has come to understand that, especially after seeing just how much damage he caused both to the demon and the school in so little time...

Belphegor

If he was sleepy before, he’s completely awake now

You’re holding the side of your head, and he can see the blood seeping through your fingers, groaning in pain. You keep trying to say that you’re okay, but your words are starting to slur and he’s getting nervous, he’s getting scared

It’s reminding him too much of his worst mistake, of what he did to you, when he murdered-

No. He doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now, especially when the person who did this is bragging about it while your body is slumped over. Right there, he knows what exactly needs to be done

Belphie was already in front of them before they even registered it, and didn’t give him any time to form an excuse. His claws were already at their throat, inching deeper and deeper the more they swallowed

“I should just slit your throat now, it’ll be easy and not a lot of work. But you deserve much worse than that. You’ll wish I did by the end of this.”

After a tap to the demon’s forehead, they just collapsed before him, unmoving. He didn’t even look down when he stepped over them (or rather stepped on them) to get to you. You’re passed out, but still breathing. You can’t stay here like this, and he refuses to tell Diavolo or Lucifer. He’ll figure something out, maybe Satan has some books in his room on what to do...

When you woke up, you found yourself wrapped in blankets and Belphie sleeping beside you, arms wrapped tight. You were confused, when did you get home? You remember walking with him down the stairs, but everything was blurry after that. What happen-

“You’re always thinking so hard MC, you’ll never be able to get good rest if you keep that up. But Satan did say to check on you every couple of hours, so I guess it’s fine. And quit touching your head!”

“Oh, sorry Belphie, I didn’t mean to-”

“Tch, how annoying...”

But he’s lying. Even as he’s carefully re-wrapping the bandages, he’s relieved that you’re awake, that your eyes are still full of life, not like the dullness that he saw that fateful night

When Lucifer finds you he is not happy with Belphie, but he doesn’t care and tells him that everything is already under control and that he isn’t needed. Belphie didn’t miss the scowl that he sent his way, but he just smirked in response. You didn’t need Lucifer as Belphie is already taking care of you, as it should be

You know how he always carries around his favorite pillow? Yeah he’s doing that with you basically, minus the carrying. You’re practically attached to his side, wherever he goes you’re either right there with him or in his room, which is mainly just you two lazing around or sleeping (as usual)

Honestly, the only demons who he’s okay with disturbing you two is Beel and maybe Satan. Beel because that’s his twin and it’s his room too, and Satan only if he’s checking on you medically or if he has some new ideas to mess with Lucifer. Everyone else is just trying to bother you and be annoying, and you don’t need that

Of course he blames himself for this! How is he suppose to keep you safe, to make up for his mistake? But then it clicks

It’s not the fact that he’s weak, people think that he’s weak. But he realizes that this is fine, he’ll use that to his advantage.

Diavolo is upset and Lucifer is running out of excuses for him, but Belphie just plays stupid and says he can’t remember how to remove it (even though he does). Let the demon lose some more sleep until they learn their lesson, whether it’s from the constant nightmares or from sleep deprivation trying to stay awake to avoid said nightmares. He’ll remove it when he feels like it, and he doesn’t see that happening anytime soon

Let people think the Avatar of Sloth is weak, that he’s not a threat, and he can show them exactly how wrong they are. Better yet, this demon can be the perfect example, and many more if they become a bother to you (and him)

You’re too nice MC, too delicate. You treat him so good, like he’s not a demon, like he’s not the monster who took your life, and he has to thank you for that somehow. He feels like whatever he does won’t be enough for the kindness you give him, but protecting you from others who used to be like him could be a good start

Also now he can hog all of your head pats and cuddles for himself, and he doesn’t feel bad at all. Everyone else had their time with you when he was locked up, so he’s finally got the opportunity to be selfish

Diavolo

First of all...this demon is dumb enough to harm you in front of him??? The Demon LORD???? The FUTURE KING OF HELL??!

They have more than just a death wish

It all happened so quick, he just crossed paths with you in the hallways and started to ask about your day (and maybe invite you for a small tea date after school) but he didn’t even get the chance to open his mouth

One second he saw your eyes light up and hand extended to excitedly wave, then he saw your fragile form tumbling down the stairs

Barbatos was soon called to his side as Diavolo saw the red coating his palms and you barely staying conscious, trying to say that you’re okay and not to worry

See...he feared that this would be a problem. While Diavolo is a very kind and understanding ruler, there are still some demons out there who think he’s too lenient, too soft. But that’s where people are mistaken. Diavolo is kind, but do not mistake his kindness for weakness

He felt his anger rising, his demeanor starting to crack, but he set aside his emotions. You’re his first priority, and he needs to make sure that you’re okay! He’s still a ruler, and you’re his responsibility (and first love)

However, he made sure that Barbatos took the demon who did this and kept them in the dungeon until he was done treating you. He won’t let this go unpunished, he can’t and he won’t

You’re an important part of the exchange program, and you’re most important to him, and he’s upset with himself that you got hurt. You’re so delicate, and you don’t deserve any of this happening to you, but what can he do? While he trusts the brothers to keep you safe, he wants to keep an eye on you personally, but how?

Then it struck him

You liked to stay in the castle, always smiling and having fun whenever you spent time with him there, so why not relocate you there?? It’ll be like an extended sleepover/retreat with just you two!! You guys can do all of your favorite activities and won’t have to worry about going home because you won’t have to leave!! Why didn’t he think of this sooner?!

The brothers are very upset with this incident, and even more so when he announced this. Diavolo decided that your condition needed to be monitored closely, and since he’s the person directly in charge of the exchange program AND the ruler over the Devildom, there was no room to argue. You weren’t going to stay in the castle forever, just until he deemed it right to return to the HoL

Which would be...some time soon, maybe. He’s not really worried about that now, his number 1 concern is you after all!

You’re getting the royal treatment, literally. This is the chance that he gets to pamper you without interruptions and he is not wasting it!

You kept trying to convince him that you’re fine, but he wasn’t hearing any of it, especially after he sees the nasty bruise that was left. “MC, please! You still need to rest. How about I have Barbatos bring us some tea to help, and we can even have the royal staff bring us some outfits of your choosing if you like? Oo, we can even have our portrait painted!”

“Dia, I promise that I’m fine, you have more things to worry about than me-”

“Nonsense, MC. You’re what’s important to me, now and always. Don’t ever forget that.”

Even finished it with a hand kiss, UGH he really is a Prince Charming

Once you did return to RAD bruise free, Diavolo, being the gentleman that he is, walked with you everywhere in the beginning. Coming into the building, walking to class, lunch, even to the student council meeting, he was by your side. But he couldn’t avoid his duties forever (unfortunately), but he always made up for lost time afterwards

You never realized that when he wasn’t with you, someone else always was. Whether it be Lucifer who miraculously had spare time, or Barbatos who decided to escort you back to the castle to try a new recipe for his Lord, it was always one of them that stayed with you

Also, it never dawned on you why people were starting to be so nice to you. You thought it was because of what happened, not paying attention to how tense they would get, the fear in their eyes. You did notice that the demon who caused your fall never came back to class, and their desk is starting to collect dust...

When you did ask Diavolo about it, he just pat your head and said that what happened was unacceptable and that the demon has been dealt with accordingly.

You don’t need to hear about what really happened to them, he doesn’t want to scare you or taint your innocence! But he doesn’t mind if anyone else hears it, he’ll be more than happy to explain in full detail what happened and what will happen to demons that even think about attempting to harm you or think that he’s “too soft”. They won’t think he’s a soft ruler after that

Diavolo is a very sweet man, one that treats you as if you’re ruling by his side as his partner and one that you never have to be scared of, but even you didn’t miss the deadly glint in his eyes whenever he spoke about that demon...

But enough about that, he wants to try that new recipe that you made just for him!

He enjoys the time that he gets to spend with you, and after this, you’ll be in his company a lot more. He can’t risk having this happen again to his love- I MEAN favorite exchange student right?

[dokifluffs]

Overfeeding and Aftercare | Tendo, Himekawa, Miya Twins

Pairings: Tendo X Reader (gender neutral), Himekawa X Reader (gender neutral), Osamu X Reader X Atsumu (not romantically though) ((gender neutral)) 

Genre: v a m p i r e, fluffffff, fantasyyyy

Author’s Note: asdkakahd fantasyyyyy i love fantasy so much so i hope yiu all enjoy!! Happy reading!! 

Warnings: blood, passing out from loss of blood

Overfeeding and Aftercare | Kenma, Bokuto, Kuroo 

Tendo: 

The night sky was clear with not even a cloud floating in the sky, the crisp air flowing through your slightly open window, keeping your room cool throughout the night

You could hear the outside world so clearly- the crickets in the grass, the owls hooting in their trees, occasional sounds from other students’ in their own dorms

Testing season had fallen over university and it was time for everyone to spend this next month studying their eyes out, including you

You had been stuck in your room all day, leaving your seat at your desk as sparingly as possible to use the bathroom and to eat

Your stomach grumbled for the nth time tonight just thinking about dinner with your friends that you had to miss, instead stuck with a few granola bars you had left instead

There was absolutely no time to waste and you were on a clear schedule you made for yourself to get the most out of studying yet it meant sleeping and even eating less

Your single dorm was empty, simple and plain to your liking though you wished there were more pops of color to make it actually feel more enjoyable as you stayed in here

A small pile of clothes was formed in the corner of the room right outside your closet doors, your bed unmade from this morning when you woke

Your lamp light flickered from the old bulb that was near the end of its usable life

“No, no, no, not now,” your voice frantic, eyes heavy and body begging for sleep and sustenance as the light finally went out, a large gust of wind blowing through your window, making the pages of your notebook and textbooks flip

The pale moonlight shined in onto your desk as it peeked from beyond the tall oak tree that sat right outside your window

You groaned, your voice bouncing off the painted over concrete blocks of your dorm walls that matched everyone else’s as you leaned back in your chair

It was a weird feeling- your head spinning slowly, the burning sensation in your eyes as they watered when you finally shut them, pressing the palm of your hand over your eyes and forehead to relieve all the pressures you had pent up

“You’re up quite late…” You jumped in your seat, heart skipping a beat at the sudden silky voice of Tendo in your ears

His crimson eyes glowed in the dark, his two red orbs looking directly into your tired ones as you sat up in your seat, spinning to face him

He wore an oversized uni shirt that flowed with the breeze in the room, his hair down and the ends of his red locks obscuring his vision ever so slightly

“Don’t tell me you want to become nocturnal, now~” he teased playfully as he reached down, his icy hands taking yours in his, amused hearing the way you swallowed when he touched you

He tilted his head into your hand, his skin pleasantly cold against your worn, hot one from all the writing you did to review your notes and course

“I’m just studying, Satori. Are you hungry, again?” You asked, rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone

“Always,” he mumbled into your skin as he narrowed looking down to you, bending himself down ever so slightly as your arm was stretched upward in his grasp

He lowered his head, never breaking his gaze with you as he brought his lips across your flawless skin, his mouth already salivating at the faint feeling and sound of your blood pumping through your ulnar artery in your wrist

He closed his eyes as he closed his lips around your wrist, his teeth sinking in, humming in delight at the sensation of your blood over his tongue

You let out a wince at the pinching feeling

He removed himself from your wrist, the dark liquid slowly dripping from his teeth marks as he licked his lips

“You haven’t been eating properly, Y/N,” his voice dropped as your name rolled off his tongue. “You taste different,” he said almost disappointedly yet sounded completely different

You couldn’t tell if it was the darkness in the room with the moon shining behind the leaves and branches of the tree but it seemed his eyes were glowing even brighter

“I need to make sure you take care of yourself or else my meals won’t be as enjoyable anymore~” he cooed as he licked up the blood gliding down your arm, the corners of his lips curling in enjoyment when he felt your arm tense up as his tongue dragged up your arm

You bit your lip feeling his teeth sink back into the bite he made, taking in your blood to fill his hunger

The pads of his fingers holding your hand squeezed as he held your hand, stretching it

Your breaths grew longer and deeper, your vision clouding as your eyelids grew heavier and heavier

You let out a big yawn, your body letting go

Tendo caught you in his arms as you almost collapsed to the ground from your seat, never letting your body even touch the cold tiled floor

He lapped his tongue over his bite before he let go of your wrist once again, bringing you to your bed before laying you down, joining beside you

He licked your wrist until it stopped bleeding as you caught up on some much needed rest

“You should’ve taken care of yourself more,” he playfully poked your forehead, brushing your hair with his fingers, your body naturally curling and moving impossibly closer to his to reach the cool feel of his body in your sleep

Your nose was filled with the scent of tendo, his hand holding yours as you peeked open your tired eyes, tilting your head up on your pillow to meet his red eyes

“Good morning~” he chimed happily after being awake all night since he never needed sleep ever since he became immortal. “You really needed that,” he brushed his index finger down the bridge of your nose, smiling at the way your cheek was squished into your pillow

“Today, you’re taking a break and I’m going to make sure you eat and stay hydrated properly,” he leaned forward and kissed your forehead before you let out a small “mm” before closing your eyes again, bringing your forehead to his chest, his hand resting on your back draped over your side, legs intertwined on your bed

He hummed content holding you close, imprinting the feel and shape of your body close with his, relishing in your warmth, one he hadn’t felt in a while

It was a feeling he was determined to get used to for the rest of his immortal life

Himekawa: 

“Aoi, I’m here,” you shed off your raincoat and slipped out of your partially rained on shoes, calling into the darkened house, the curtains closed tightly to not let a single ounce of light in from anywhere. “Aoi?” You called into what seemed like an empty house

No movement or signs of anything or anyone

You walked carefully through the eerily dark house as rain showered over the house and entire neighborhood

“Aoi?” You knocked in his bedroom door standing ajar, creaking open with a haunting whine that made goosebumps rise over your arms

You shuffled in seeing the dark lump of his covers bundled up shift at the sound of your voice

“What’re you doing in there?” You peeked through a small opening that showed his face buried in the plush covers. “It’s time to feed, Aoi, it’s been too long.”

You tried to remove the blanket from him but was unable to budge

Ever since he changed, feeding became the thing he absolutely hated the most yet it was the one thing he needed to do

His eyes glowed bright red in the dark, no light natural or artificial could hold a candle to his eyes when they shined

He shook his head, one of the things he always did before he had to give in to feeding

He spent weeks after weeks, starving himself if it meant he didn’t have to feed on anyone or anything, most importantly, you but this also meant him gradually losing his strength

There were too many times in his early years where the hunger took over his humanity although no longer being one but what little he had left, even if he had to act like it, he wanted to keep it

This was a life he never asked for but he didn’t want a wooden stake through his heart or for his body to petrify- he didn’t want the bloodlust to consume him from the inside out again

“I know you don’t like this but you’re starving,” your voice was the calm in his storm that never went away as you brushed your fingers through his soft locks as they slid in between. “Please? I promise you won’t hurt me, you know I won’t let you.”

You could hear his quivering voice when he told you about his nightmares, seeing them so vividly at night, he could taste all the blood of those he had unintentionally drained, the horrors of what he was capable of, what he did to so many innocent people and the ones he loved most in the world

All he had left was you and he never wanted to lose you

He hesitantly sat up, the blankets falling off os his back and pooling all around his body, his fists clenched over his thighs, gaze avoiding yours

You pricked your index finger with a safety pin, bringing it to his lips

He gently took your hand in his, barely holding yours, his skin icy to the touch, it felt like as if he was standing outside during winter with nothing to keep him warm

He could feel his fangs protruding when his tongue made contact with the bead of your blood that formed on your fingertip and sucked

It was like an instant feeling when one drank water after being dehydrated for a day, however, in this case, it was hunger and thirst combined for weeks for Himekawa

Nothing had ever tasted so good in his lifetime

A shiver ran down your spine feeling his sharp teeth graze down the side of your finger, his lips ghosting over your palm before they found the soft spot in your palm, his teeth biting in and sinking into what felt like your radial artery

You winced at the pain but clamped your mouth shut, not wanting Aoi to stop because he surely would

It took a lot to get him to feed and almost nothing to get him to stop

He let the taste overcome him, all the fears he had was slowly dissipating as the black hole of hunger was taking over his mind

You blinked away, taking deep breaths as you kept yourself sitting upright, ignoring the sudden feeling of your body temperature dropping, the sudden rapid beating of your heart in your chest

You could feel your head drooping, swaying side to side as your vision blurred, the room beginning to spinning all around you

You bit into your knuckle, squeezing your eyes shut as you struggled to keep yourself conscious

He could feel all the energy and his strength returning with every ounce he consumed but fear pierced through his chest sharper than any stake when your body collapsed to the ground

His body froze seeing your unconscious body on the ground

You could hear soft whimpers in your ear, slowly becoming clearer and clearer as you slowly regained consciousness

“Y/N,” Aoi choked on his breaths with his eyes swelled and red from all the tears he cried and continued to drip off his chin. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, apologizing profusely as you woke, his hand automatically reaching for yours but instantly pulling back feeling the bandage he wrapped your hand in

He felt so heart broken, he wanted to disappear from existence the moment he realized you collapsed

It made him sick to his stomach despite ever being unable to feel sick

“I’m a monster,” he sunk back on his knees

“No, no, Aoi, you’re not,” you sat up, the damp towel he laid on your head falling onto his bed you laid on. “You are no monster to anyone,” you cupped his face, playfully squishing his wet cheeks, using your sleeves to wipe him dry

“You’ve been alive for centuries and who you are now is not the same person as centuries ago.” You pulled him close, peppering kisses to his forehead

“But I almost killed you.” He wanted to so badly to rip himself out of your hold so you wouldn’t have to touch him, touch someone who was supposed to love you yet almost ended your life

“But you didn’t and I’m still here and I will be til the end,” you reassured and hugged him close, pulling him to stand and making room beside you in his bed, your turn to dissipate his fears while more content that he actually fed compared to the past times

The Twins: 

Ravens cawed at you, perched on the branches of the oak trees in front of the house of your best friends, Osamu and Atsumu

As soon as you knocked on their front door, it felt as if life had fast forwarded itself now that you were suddenly upstairs

This always happened whenever you came over- it was feeding time

Your eyes were always squeezed shut and it felt like the breath was taken out of your lungs whenever either of them brought you inside to wherever they planned to feed on you

“You can open your eyes,” Osamu’s voice calm and light in your ear as your feet made contact with the plush rug over the cold wooden floors

He took your hand in his, his touch icy to your warm, living skin, as he led you toward one of the lounging chairs by the fireplace as the wooden logs crackled in the flame

“About time, I’m starvin’” Atsumu pushes himself off the couch and snatching your grasp out of Osamu’s, bringing you to the couch

But Osamu didn’t let go. He was much more gentle with you than Atsumu, the more hangry of them two

Your back was pressed into Osamu’s chest with your legs stretched out, Atsumu already advancing between your legs, preferring to feed from your thighs and Osamu your neck

You had been their feeder for what felt like sll your life at this point, but it always made you squeamish

“Stop squirmin’,” Atsumu grumbled hungrily as he firmly held down your legs as he spread them, his breath tickling you before he found his spot and sunk his teeth in

You let out a small yelp, adjusting to the feeling

Osamu’s body was cool to the feel even through yours and his clothes

Unlike his brother, he was a lot gentler with you

Looping his arm from behind around your head, he gently tilted it to the side with the guidance of his fingers loosely holding your jaw

“I won’t make it hurt as bad,” he whispered into your ear, making your heart race, you wondered if he could feel or even hear it

He ghosted his lips along your shoulder and neck until he found his spot, slowly bringing his teeth to your skin and pierced through your skin like needles

Atsumu repositioned his fangs, holding your leg up, digging his fingers into your thighs that would be sure to leave bruises, biting deeper into your flesh to taste as much as he could

Osamu held one of your hands from behind, the other moving from your jaw to your eyes, tilting your head back

It felt as if Osamu’s grasp on your hand was tightening as a wave of fatigue washed through your body

The crackling sound of the fire began to echo and drift around your darkened vision from Osamu’s hand covering your eyes, your heart beat gradually slowing down until your consciousness slipped away

Osamu’s eyes opened as he removed himself from your neck, his hunger satiated, his bite clean and pressed a gauze from his pocket to your neck when he felt your body go limp in his hold

“Atsumu, stop.” He kicked his brother off of your thigh, only for the blonde one to latch back on, biting into your other thigh with ease

“I said. Stop.” Osamu pulled you closer as your crimson liquid came out of Atsumu’s messy, numerous bites

Atsumu’s hunger was insatiable after having to wait a week every single time you fed them and this time, he was worse than the last

He glared at his brother, eyes glowing bright red even with the fireplace illuminating the entire room as Osamu held you close, your body curled up in his lap as his own eyes glowing at his twin

Your mind slowly began to wake as your eyes fluttered open

You could hear your heart beating slowly in your ears as if you were asleep- yet you were awake

Your hands felt about as you laid still in a dim bedroom with the curtains closed and a small lamp on a desk in the corner of the room

“Finally awake,” Atsumu huffed

Sitting up, your arms trembled weakly holding your body up

You didn’t even notice the twin until he moved in his seat beside the bed, your nose filling with the scent of Osamu but also the scent of Atsumu

“You’ve been out for the last three hours,” he sounded almost annoyed as you leaned back and rested into the pillows, half your face pressed into the bed you assumed was Osamu’s based on the smell

“Take it easy,” he pulled the blanket a bit higher over your body with a sigh

You were dressed in a big, dark red long sleeve you assumed was Atsumu’s

“Out.” You could hear Osamu’s voice as the door opened with a thud as it hit the wall. Atsumu grumbled beneath his breath as he got up from his seat, closing the door firmly behind him

Osamu came into vision as he brought the tray with something hot sitting upon it, steam rising from it but whatever it was, it smelled delicious

He peeked his head to you as he sat in the seat Atsumu sat in moments ago, pulling the seat closer

“I’m sorry for my brother... you know how ‘tsumtsum gets when he’s hungry,” he sighed. “How do you feel?” He asked, moving the blanket down from your face ever so slightly to see more of you

“Tired like I could sleep... forever,” you yawned, the tear rolling from your eye, over the bridge of your nose to the pillows

“You need to eat, I made some soup.” Osamu helped sit you up, careful with his strength before he poured you a bowl of soup, insisting on spoor feeding you when he felt how weak you really were

The hot liquid went down your throat, the savory taste lingering on your tastebuds and fed a hunger in your stomach you weren’t even aware of until now

For the rest of the night, Osamu and Atsumu took turns looking over you, mostly Osamu, though so he could change your gauzes, making sure their bites weren’t causing injections

Though it never really seemed like it, Atsumu was grateful having you in his and his brother’s life, feeding them, continuing to come back even after all the times he over fed from you

He peeked beneath the gauze to make sure he didn’t actually hurt you as you slept, bidding the two of them farewell till next week

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​ @tsumtsumsemi​ @osamuonigiri @1-800-wholesome @yamagucci​ @realityisoftendisapointing@plantisnotplant @k-eijiakaashi​ @pink-panda-pancakes​ @differentballooncollection​ @osamusamusamu@therainroguefanfiction​ @euphorihan@turquoiselace​ @macaronnv  @oxmaddy​​ @mrkoala4prsdnt​​ @curiouslilbeast​ @plantisnotplant@therestless101​ @abcdaichi​ @oyasenpai​ @kaaidalupita​ @lovinnoya​

[chroma-ki]

What Happens When Society Fails Those Who Could Succeed - A Bakugo Katsuki Analysis

I started this a while ago, but I’ve seen others delve into this topic and I wanted to share as well. This delves into to hero society’s affects on Bakugo Katsuki’s upbringing, his worldview, his self-view, and Izuku’s involvement in breaking down the ideas society has drilled into his head. 

A lot of people like to ignore the fact that Katsuki is a 14-year-old kid at the start of the series and that much of his life, attitude and disposition of the world have been completely shaped by the adults and society around him. 

What do you expect a kid with potential to turn into when they are warped in such a way by a society that dictates that they need to be strong, or nothing at all? What about when your only value is based around a sliding scale of strength and weakness? What happens when that kid’s only source of help comes in the form of a reckless, selfless child who defies all sense of logic and reason (Izuku)?

Growing up, Bakugo was constantly praised for being strong, having a powerful quirk and being generally the smartest person in the room at any given time. He could arguably be considered a prodigy, and much of what he sees and learns feels beneath him -- because it's already on his mind. He is a kid with natural god-given talent that everyone around him immediately recognizes as above average. 

Even as a toddler, he was constantly a step ahead of everyone else. Due to this, people developed a lot of high expectations for him at a young age -- and it doesn't help that he has a naturally competitive streak that makes him constantly want to prove himself and live up to these expectations; even surpass them.

Always being at the top of his class and being ahead of the curve mentally fuel the idea in Katsuki's mind that, in the game of life, he is 'winning'. Yet, at the same time, none of it is ever enough. Other's high expectations of him cause him to build extremely high expectations of himself; expectations that border on unrealistic. They also inflate his ego exponentially when this praise gets reaffirmed time and time again.

Certainly, in a situation where you're raised on other people's praise and validation, it is completely understandable that you would put a lot of emotional emphasis on other people's opinions of you. On top of that, he gives off such a natural and convincing air of confidence that people can't help but feel that he is reliable, despite his attitude. People are awed by him, and all of it feeds into the mental image he has constructed of himself, and the world as a whole. It's the whole reason for a lot of how he acts. He builds an image of himself based on the praise of those around him -- and even Izuku also feeds into this mentality by worshipping the literal ground Katsuki walks on as a kid.

This mentality seems to be working fine for him until Izuku's very presence starts to throw a wrench into everything Katsuki has been raised to believe. 

Izuku completely defies logic to Katsuki. Izuku does not fit the societal norm and, beyond what others have taught him, Izuku is Katsuki’s only real hint that the world might not be quite what he thinks it is, and that his idea of what it means to be strong may not be a ‘one-size fits all’ defenition.

Izuku is a quirkless kid; weak and generally mild-mannered. He doesn't have any self-confidence and is a big crybaby. Yet, Izuku still believes that he can be strong and become a hero -- when Katsuki has always been told the opposite. Katsuki recognizes that this may be some version of strength he is unaware of, and it raises BIG RED FLAGS in his mind.

Where many of Katsuki's other childhood friends were barely more than acquaintances who he forgot over time, Izuku immediately caught Katsuki's interest and spiked his curiosity. Like everyone else in his life, Izuku praised Katsuki and told him all the things he wanted to hear -- but Izuku was also unique and intelligent. Izuku was the first person who actually seemed like they could stand near Katsuki's level; like they might be actual competition. 

Then, Bakugo got his quirk and Izuku is diagnosed as quirkless. The reactions of everyone around him to this news, including Izuku’s own reaction, only go back to telling him what society has told him all along. Strength is everything, and quirks are a part of that desired strength. This is another moment that reaffirms Katsuki's world view. "I won, you lose. I really am the best."

Though Bakugo is super aggressive on the outside, he is a very self-critical character and often means the opposite of whatever he is saying. Especially when it comes to his self-confidence and bravado. 

People often complain when watching the series about him telling people to 'die' and "got to hell", or calling other people "extras", and I don't think enough people understand -- that is just how he speaks. Those are things he says out of reflexive anger. None of those words ever have any real meaning. 

It's more important to pay more attention to the moments in which he is more reserved/quiet. He suffers from both a superiority complex and inferiority complex, as well as paranoia (much of which revolves around his warped idea of how Deku, and other people he values, perceive him). Much of what he says is just empty words or him trying to project an image of self-confidence.

He wears his pride like a suit of armor to hide all the things he doesn't want to admit about himself. He attempts to make up for his own insecurities by getting angry. And he learned this at home from his mother, who is much the same as him.

From the little that we have seen of his parents throughout the series so far, his parents love him and provide him with everything he could possibly need -- but his mother often insults him and throws harsh truths in his face to counteract his cocky nature. One of the most notable instances of this is when All Might and Aizawa are talking to his parents about moving the kids to the dorms and his mom says "If you hadn't have gotten yourself caught by the villains in the first place, none of this would have happened".

That comment feeds directly into his mental breakdown in front of Izuku where he blames himself for All Might's downfall, flat out saying that "If I hadn't been kidnapped by villains, then it never would have happened".

It gets me every time if you go back to the 8th episode of the series, near the VERY BEGINNING -- right after he's defeated by Deku for the first time in combat training -- and the episode literally starts with him having a full on panic attack. 

He's trembling, hands shaking, hyperventilating, the whole deal. And that particular incident was triggered not only by Deku defeating him and standing up to him (which completely contradicts the Izuku that Bakugo has grown up with all his life and feeds into Bakugo's own fear that he is weak), but is also brought on by the fact that he notices how severely Deku allowed himself to be injured JUST TO WIN THE EXCERSIZE. Again, this idea that even the weak can be strong. It also doesn’t help that he cares about Izuku and doesn’t want to see him get hurt.

And I'm sorry -- but below does not look like the face of someone who's pissed off to me. He looks PETRIFIED.

Izuku doesn't just piss Bakugo off -- Izuku TERRIFIES him.

There are actually multiple instances of him reacting like this to Izuku injuring himself throughout the series: sludge villain, sports festival fight against Todoroki and the training camp where Bakugo was kidnapped being the major ones I can think of beyond current managa events. Bakugo may claim to ‘hate’ Deku, but he DOES NOT like to see Deku hurt himself to win, or to save. 

Bakugo saw this 'self-sacrificing' trait in Izuku even as a young kid, and it freaked him out. It made him feel weak. It made him question himself and the world around him.

This fear starts with the incident where Bakugo fell off the log as a kid. 

It wasn't a life threatening situation, but it was the first situation where Izuku rushed to Bakugo's aid with complete disregard to himself AND when everyone else refused to help. 

Bakugo's friends, teachers and parents all held him to such high expectations of intelligence, power and strength -- so of course those would be the values that he grows up idolizing. No one ever really offered him help, because they assumed he didn't need it -- and then Izuku comes rushing in offering it to him, risking his life to do so, and Katsuki's only thought is "Why?! Why do you feel like you have to save me when you can't even protect yourself? Needing to be saved means that I'm weak! Do you think that I'm weak?" I have recently watched another show that had a similar scenario and that character explained what I believe Katsuki felt in this situation BEAUTIFULLY.  ------ “It felt like [he] was trying to say I was weak or something. [He] was intruding on feelings [he] didn’t have any right to – and I hated it. Then that got me thinking about everyone else in my life. They never treated me like I was a weakling; someone who needed his hand held. They had faith that I would continue to grow and they let me do it; helping me without ever making me feel weak.” 

Izuku continues to do this again and again throughout the series when it comes to Bakugo: the slime villain incident, the training camp, etc -- all without fully comprehending how his actions affect Bakugo. Each time this happens, Bakugo feels weak and utterly helpless to save himself OR to stop Izuku. It's all his worst fears realized.

It's like living his worst nightmare over and over without end in sight.

Going back to the concept of him being offered 'help', very few people have offered him this throughout his life -- and they all saw it as something he never really needed. It's like Katsuki's personality and mental state is a huge sign screaming 'I DON'T UNDERSTAND! NOTHING MAKES SENSE! IT MAKES ME MAD AND UPSET! SOMEONE, HELP ME.' and everyone just ignores it.

--- During the log incident - all his friends say 'Oh well, he's fine. He'll pick himself back up.' and Izuku is the only one who offers to help. 

--- The sludge villain incident - all the pro heroes say "We can't help right now! You'll just have to hold on, kid!" and again Izuku is the only one who offers help.

--- After his and Deku’s first fight at Ground Beta, which utterly breaks him, all the other students just let him leave alone and only Izuku rushes to help. All Might sees him upset and crying after this and says, “Oh, I guess he’s already over it” -- when that obviously wasn’t the case. 

--- And then -- to top it all off -- after he was kidnapped by the LOV and held captive for 3 days without help he wasn't even given time to process! He was taken away by police, ridiculed by his mother, forced to go back to school where his teachers acted like nothing happened, jumped into the provisional hero licensing exam with all those helpless feelings rolling around inside of him and on top of it found out that Izuku received All Might's power -- a power that he had spent his whole life putting on a pedestal. And he goes to Izuku for help.

The fact that everyone just brushed him off like he was someone who didn't need help is just disgusting. The only instance where an adult in his life acknowledged that he needed it was AFTER he already had a full on mental breakdown in front of Izuku, blaming himself for everything that had gone wrong and thinking that he had somehow been living his life wrong all this time. Only then did All Might and Aizawa think, ‘Yeah, maybe we failed this kid.’ 

Keep in mind during all of this that he is 15-16-years-old! He's trying to figure out how to deal with this shit all on his own, with the only person he feels comfortable opening up to being Izuku - someone who he has so much trouble understanding.

At the heart of Katsuki is a place of fear. Fear of being weak, fear of being helpless, fear of failure, fear of losing his friends, fear of himself, most certainly fear of Izuku -- and fear FOR IZUKU. He is a boy who lives in a constant state of panic, worry and paranoia. He is lonely and beats down on himself a lot.

The series deals a lot with how hero society has completely failed it's future generations, but Katsuki is a case where they should have succeeded -- yet ultimately they failed him too. He has all the makings of what could be one of the greatest heroes of all time, yet those around him only focused on the parts of him that could make him great and chose to ignore all the parts that would ruin him from the inside out. 

They put him high up on a pedestal only to knock him down and refuse to help him back up. They made him feel like even asking for help was something that made him 'lesser', and it caused him to see other people that way too.

Izuku is the heart of Katsuki's growth, because in every way that Izuku succeeds, Katsuki fails. 

I would actually argue that out of anyone in the series since coming to UA, Katsuki has experienced the highest amount of personal failure. He has been knocked down time and time again but ultimately wants to pick himself back up to prove that he deserves to be there. He fights for his friends and tries his best at everything he does. He doesn't always get it right, and he says things that might offend others, but other than Izuku, he's the most driven person there and would utterly destroy himself to reach his goals.

[shofics]

So tumblr ate the ask (thanks! I hate it!) but @knifemartin sent the prompt 13. pirate au but make it... sky pirates with Earhart, Zolf, Sasha, and Wilde! This got frighteningly long so I had to put it under a cut, I hope you enjoy my ramblings. <3 They’re going to kill a dragon!!

I think I genuinely might clean this up and make it into a proper fic. Watch this space. 

Zolf Smith is a miner. Zolf Smith dreams of the sky. Zolf Smith kills his brother. Zolf Smith takes flight.  

The Meritocracy doesn't have air forces- don’t really need ‘em when you’re a huge fuck-off dragon who can fly- but they’re worried about the increased presence the separatists are having in the skies above their lands, so they’re building one. Zolf leaps upon it like a life raft.

When the ship goes down, there are two reasons he doesn’t die; his past, and his god.

The Reliant answers the emergency call, and that surprises Zolf- a known separatist vessel, making an attempt to save the crew of a ship in the Meritocratic Air Force- but a lot of things surprise him about Captain Earhart. It’s not the Reliant’s fault that he is the only survivor. It is due to the Reliant that there is an only survivor at all.

His family were Harlequins. Captain Earhart recognises him, visits him in the sick bay as her medics do their best to save his legs, asks after his father, asks after his brother. Gives an understanding nod when he refuses to speak about them. Offers him a job, because he desperately needs one.

It’s a lot all at once, and they can’t save his legs, but he finds he doesn’t need them. Dwarves don’t have the build that most of the Hermes lot have, but he’s never let not fitting in stop him. The feeling of the wind in the rigging is like wings on ankles he doesn’t have anymore. He’s freer than he’s been his entire life.

//

When he is thirteen years old, Brock Rackett successfully makes it out of Other London and out of the clutches of the Rackett clan by chopping off his ring finger and escaping on the first air vessel that will take him. At least, this is what Sasha believes. She’s sad he left without her, but she knows well that when an opportunity comes, you take it. She hopes he made it out safe.

Nine years later, at twenty-two, Sasha’s opportunity finally comes. She heads for the aeroport. Maybe she’ll be able to find him.

Barrett’s men are following her, she can feel them on her tail all through the crowd like a bad smell; she needs a cover, needs somewhere to hide. There’s a drunk in the corner of the bar, some once-foppish-looking dandy, and Sasha decides to make him her cover.

She slides into the seat next to him and tries to be as inconspicuous as possible, but the drunkard starts and leaps to his feet, swaying. “Keep your trousers on,” she hisses, jumping up to pull him back down in front of her- he’s tall enough, he should provide good cover.

The man staggers out of her grip and produces a dagger from nowhere. He tries to fend her off with it- poorly- and then his eyes roll up and he collapses. Sasha just barely manages to catch him before he hits the ground.

//

Wilde knows the Meritocracy is crumbling. He can feel it in the air; something big is coming, something very bad, and he really doesn’t want to be here when it finally arrives.

Though maybe the sense of impending doom he’s getting is just from lack of sleep. But he’s sure that’s fine. It’s fine. He’s fine.

So he puts his bardic talents and his espionage training to work, following the trail of the odd orders and the disappearing agents, and realises quickly that if he stays, he’ll probably end up disappearing as well- or worse, become one of the people giving the odd, conflicting orders. He doesn’t know what that’s about. He doesn’t want to find out.

Wilde fakes his own death in the hopes it will throw off the scent, and decides, like so many others seeking the separatists, to head for the Americas.

In a bar at the aeroport he is accosted by a mugger, and he knew he was being conspicuous, but with everything blurring and the ringing in his ears he’s in no shape to properly defend himself. Instead of killing him, though, the dark figure hauls him up and runs.

He’s not lucid enough to take in the scene of the room she drags him into, and so he doesn’t resist as someone snaps something cold around his wrist, and he at long last sinks into a deep and dreamless sleep.

//

Earhart knew the look of people like Zolf Smith- lost, angry, needing. She’s seen plenty of it, in her years as an airship captain, because there are only a few reasons why people set out for the skies. And so she took him on, and he proved a fantastic first mate, knew his stuff inside and out and indulged her more reckless tendencies.

Plus, he’d been fleeing the Meritocracy. That automatically put him in Earhart’s good books.

Famous (and infamous) Harlequin airship captain Amelia Earhart was, by that point, becoming famous and infamous enough to become a thorn in the Meritocrats’ sides. They decided to target her. The fact that they tried to take down the Reliant was not her fault. The fact that she turned the whole ship around to attack back, causing a wreck that killed almost all of her crew and blew the Reliant into unsalvageable bits… that was.

The only reason she hasn’t drunk herself to death by this point is her ‘fantastic’ first mate (she’s regretting that now, in an angry way), who for some unknowable reason is unwilling to let the guilt swallow her whole.

//

Zolf Smith was an airman. Zolf Smith dreams of gods and wings and roads not taken. Zolf Smith is given a choice. Zolf Smith chooses no.

Zolf Smith loses his magic.

Earhart is trying to die, and he’s doing his best without access to his healing magic, but it won’t work forever, not when she’s this determined to let herself waste into nothing. He’s not good at talking, and that’s what she really needs- someone to talk to. Someone to listen. But he’s got no legs, and he’s got no magic, and he’s got almost no hope left, and nowhere to go.

They take refuge in a seedy bar in the closest aeroport and report the crash; two survivors, him and Earhart. They’ve been there a month and a half when the door to their room bursts open and a terrified kid with dark shaggy hair and an enormous jacket practically falls through the doorway, lugging an unconscious man in a blue and green waistcoat.

For a split second they all just stare at each other- everyone except for the unconscious man, of course, being as he is unconscious (and bleeding, from the nose and from the ears, and Zolf may not have magical healing but he has medical training and he knows that’s bad)- and then the kid drops her charge like a sack of potatoes, slams the door closed, and dives under the bed.

“Are you in trouble?” is all Zolf asks, and the kid nods, petrified and utterly silent. “Fine. Stay there.”

The unconscious man begins to shake and cry out as Zolf manhandles him into his bed, as though having a nightmare. He wakes with a scream, eyes wide and terrified. Someone bangs on the door. “Do you mind?” Zolf yells. “Little busy in here!”

The door bursts open a second time- those poor hinges- and two men of the kind who aren’t holding knives until you look at them from the right angle, and then they definitely are, and they’re pointed right at you, appear in the doorway. They take in the sickroom and the man with the two prosthetic legs, look nonplussed for a second, and then one nudges the other and tells him to “get a move on, she’s in here somewhere,” and they disappear down the hall.

Zolf pulls the door shut behind them and goes back over to the man in the waistcoat. It takes a bit of figuring out, but eventually, in desperation- the man is obviously dying- Zolf fishes out the anti-magical handcuffs issued to him as soldier and medic in the Meritocratic Air Forces, and clips one around his wrist. He goes limp.

He turns around to find the dark haired kid staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. “Were they lookin’ for you?” he asks, and her eyes narrow.

“Why do you want to know?” she asks defensively- as though they could be looking for anyone else. The kid has ‘runaway’ written all over her.

“‘Cause I’m tryin’ to save your life,” Zolf snaps, and that seems to shock her, “so if you could work with me here, that’d be great, I’ve got enough on my plate tryin’ to save her life-” jerks a thumb to Earhart- “and apparently this one’s as well-” to the now asleep man taking up his bed. “Who are you? Who’s he?”

“I dunno,” says the kid, “he just kind of fell over.”

//

Sasha does not make the decision to trust him then. She doesn’t even tell him her name. She makes the decision to trust him when he tells her, a day later, as they sit against the wall and watch the man in the waistcoat mumble in his sleep, that he used to work on an airship.

“I’m Sasha,” she says. “Can I come with you?”

The white-haired dwarf named Zolf Smith- he looks too young to have white hair, but Sasha knows not to judge from appearances- grimaces. “I mean,” he says. “Dunno why you’d want to.”

“I want to see the sky,” says Sasha, who has spent her entire life underground. Zolf looks at her and seems to see something in her that pains him.

“I dunno where I’m goin’,” he warns her mournfully, looking back at Earhart, who is also sleeping. “But you can come with if you want. ‘S your choice.”

He doesn’t ask Sasha’s surname. She decides to trust him.

//

The name of the man in the bed next to her is Oscar Wilde, and Earhart starts frantically reaching for a gun, any gun, forgetting in her automatic fury that Zolf had taken them all off her weeks ago. A Meritocratic agent-

“Ex-agent,” says Wilde politely. “Please don’t shoot me, Captain, I’ve almost died once this week and I’m not really eager to repeat the experience.”

Earhart feels more lucid than she has in ages as she listens to him describe the strange series of events that brought him there, how sure he is that something is brewing within the Meritocracy’s upper ranks, the disaster that is coming. She can feel Zolf’s eyes on her as all her grief and guilt and despair and boiling anger calcify inside of her.

Wilde is like her, like Zolf, like Sasha- lost, angry, needing.

Wilde has information she can use.

“Mr. Wilde,” Earhart says, her voice hoarse with disuse but filled with more fire than she’s felt since the crash, “you are going to help me kill a dragon.”

//

She didn’t like him at first- he talked down to her, and his posh affectations grated on principle- but Sasha has to admit that Wilde is smart. She stares in disbelieving wonder as he produces a bag of holding full to the brim with more gold pieces than she’s ever seen in her life. His Meritocratic funding, he tells the spellbound group, because he can spellbind even without his magic. He liquified as many assets as he felt he could get away with before leaving.

“Pick a ship,” he says, “any ship. We can buy it. No need to steal.”

“We’ll need elementals,” Earhart says. “At least two.”

Wilde turns to Zolf. “You’re a cleric, aren’t you?” he says. “You can summon elementals.”

“Not anymore,” Zolf bites.

“Why?”

Zolf makes a face. “I don’t- when- okay.” He sighs. “Look-” and casts Spark into the fireplace. He jumps back in shock.

“I… don’t see the problem?” Wilde says after a good minute of silence, looking from the roaring flames back to Zolf. Sasha gets up and goes to dry her hair by the fire; the weather around the ports has been awful lately. Zolf stares into the flames in surprise.

//

Zolf Smith was a cleric. Zolf Smith dreams of a new ship. Zolf Smith finds a team, full of people who need healing, the kind he can now provide. Zolf Smith has hope.

[sepublic]

          Anyhow, I’d really love to see a fic where Willow and Gus properly thank Luz for getting them back into Hexside, especially Willow since Luz dealed with the parents that had ruined her life since childhood, and were about to do it a SECOND time!

          This isn’t Wing it like Witches, where Luz made a deal on Willow’s behalf, without any prepping nor consent involved whatsoever, and then forced Willow and Gus to go through with it until both were physically strained and even hurt.

          In that episode, Luz taking the onus of the responsibility comes partially from her acknowledging that she’d forced Willow into a dangerous deal, one she could easily lose and suffer the consequences of, without any input whatsoever- So naturally Luz works to absolve Willow of the consequences of something SHE never agreed to, same with Gus to a degree.

          But this is different- Luz wasn’t responsible for anything here! She was as equally targeted as Willow and Gus, and she made the decision to bear all of the physical pain, abuse, and legitimate danger to her life, to sacrifice her dignity as a glorified lab rat for Odalia and Alador, for her friends!

          Without them asking anything of her, Luz fully chooses to do this for their own behalf, and almost dies for it- Amity does end up saving her, and Willow and Gus do at least try to help, but still. Luz suffered some genuine physical harm and indignity that night for her friends, and succeeded in basically fixing their lives, whilst Willow and Gus admittedly hadn’t done anything for her, but not by lack of trying- It’s not their fault the Abominations caught them, just as it isn’t Willow or Luz or anyone’s fault for Odalia and Alador being so terrible.

          Regardless, I’d really love a fic where it sinks in to Willow and Gus that Luz WENT through that harm for them, without anyone asking, purely because she loves them unconditionally, and it paid off in the end- So I want to see them properly appreciate Luz, thank her, let Luz know that she isn’t expected to do this for them. And obviously, Luz also had her personal stake in this as well; She also wanted to go back to Hexside, so it very much is in her right to broker that for herself, and why not throw her friends in while she’s at it?

          But Luz also makes a point to say that Willow and Gus don’t deserve this dilemma, and she concerningly doesn’t bring herself up. It might just be an unstated thing for her, Eda did stress to Luz how much she’s loved and doesn’t need to feel responsible for anything… But to Luz, even if she’s not at all to be blamed for the situation, that won’t exactly fix the situation either, so she still feels obligated to do something about it because she WANTS it changed, not necessarily because she feels responsible for it.

          From the start, Luz sought to fix this parental issue on her own- She didn’t make Gus and especially not Willow bargain with Odalia and Alador. She took this into her own hands, and did it herself, because she learned last time not to involve people without their consent, and obviously Willow and Gus really didn’t want to deal with Amity’s parents whatsoever… 

          But still, Luz deserves all the love and thanks in the world for putting herself through that for them, for taking that onus when she had no obligation to- And she did it in a way that left Willow and Gus completely spared from the trouble!

          I want to see them treat Luz for an entire day, just helping her rest and recover, doing all sorts of nice acts for her- She’s the big caretaker of the group, and I think we can see how it’s exhausting for her in a lot of ways, borderline instilling a martyrdom into Luz. Obviously Willow and Gus’ general friendship proves how much they care, and they DID lead the protest that got Luz and her family pardoned by Belos, which is kind of a big deal!

          Hmm- Actually, maybe Luz remembering that played a role into why she did this all by herself… She felt the need to thank them for that, especially since Willow and Gus risked a lot when they otherwise didn’t need to, they had a lot more to lose from acting than doing nothing, against the most powerful witch in the isles who is VERY willing to murder anyone, even children, to get what he wants…

          Belos is, if the ending of Escaping Expulsion didn’t already clarify that (when it didn’t need to be), infinitely worse than the Blight Parents. And saving the lives of Eda and the rest is definitely a bigger deal than getting back into a school- I’m sure that if Willow and Gus had to choose between their parents’ lives, and getting back into Hexside, the answer wouldn’t need to be said.

          Still, Luz ended up having to initially handle Odalia and Alador, and suffer like that alone, without any help from someone else, so I want Willow and Gus to make it clear how much she means to them! She doesn’t have to pay them back, not even for that time they could’ve made themselves enemies of the state to get Luz and her entire family legally protected!

          Because Luz did legitimately hurt herself in the physical sense, she was harmed, and she didn’t have an entire crowd, many of whom were adults, to back her up- So I want her to be given that same level of support and appreciation, too! I want Willow and Gus to stress that they will and intended this for HER as well, especially since Willow and Gus only knew about Eda being petrified, and then later King and Lilith when they protested.

          They didn’t find out Luz was there and in danger until the last second, so to Luz it’d be easy to not really think of that huge gesture as being for her benefit, not that she’d ever ASK that of Willow and Gus. 

          But I want Willow and Gus to stress that if they’d risk this for Eda, of course they’d risk it for Luz, who means a lot more to them –no offense that’s just how some relationships work and Eda canonically agrees with that type of prioritization- and that in a way, they DID mean to do it for her. I want Luz to know she’s loved by everyone and not just Eda and Camila.

[sophie-writings]

Ok so I’m really scared you’ll say no, but if you want to write one, could you do (I saw a limit of 5? 👀) maybe Bakugou, Todoroki, Izuku, Tamaki and Kirishima (you don’t have to do all of them, just pick!) with a girlfriend who starts ignoring them and they get upset, but then he hears from the other girls that it’s because she doesn’t feel pretty enough or good enough for them anymore? Like I said, ignore this if you want! Love, your new butterfly anon 🦋

Thank you very much for your request butterfly anon!! 🥺 

Feel free to request any time 💖

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shoto, Midoriya Izuku, Tamaki Amajiki and Eijirou Kirishima

Type: Headcanons

Bakugou Katsuki

☁️Bakugou was pissed. 

☁️And no, it wasn't his usual kind of pissed. 

☁️The explosive boy was upset since his girlfriend has been ignoring his texts and calls since yesterday without any warning. He didn't do anything this time too, so he didn't understand why the sudden cold shoulder he was receiving. 

☁️Actually, he was getting kinda worried since you weren't like this normally, he just didn't want to admit it.

☁️Once Bakugou the in his foot inside the classroom, he was livid when he saw you smiling with the rest of the girl from class.

☁️You were ignoring his texts, making him worried, for nothing at all?

☁️"Oi, why aren't you answering my texts?"

☁️You jumped a little, surprised that he would ask about it in front of everyone else.

☁️But you didn't know how to answer that. 

☁️"I'm talking to you"

☁️Nothing 

☁️"Why are you ignoring me?!"

☁️Before he could react, you ran past him and out of the class.

☁️Everyone was pretty much shocked about the whole situation.

☁️"You're such an asshole sometimes" Kaminari said, making Bakugou snap his neck towards him.

☁️"I'm the asshole here? She's the one who's been ignoring me this whole time!"

☁️"Well, maybe she's ignoring you for a reason?" Uraraka chimed in, nervous to be going up against Bakugou again, but ready to defend her friend.

☁️"But I didn't do anyth-"

☁️"IT'S NOT THAT! Listen, Bakugou..." she sighed. "Y/n has been feeling a little insecure about your relationship, it's not that she doesn't love you, but she feels like she's not enough for you."

☁️Bakugou was taken aback by this news.

☁️He didn't know you were feeling this way.

☁️Before anyone else could say something he ran out of the classroom, after you.

☁️He found you not very far, in a hallway, without anyone around.

☁️He moved closer to you practically cornered you against the wall. 

☁️"Bakugou I-"

☁️"Shut up idiot."

☁️Bakugou pulled you into a hug, without any warning.

☁️"How could you feel like you weren't enough for me? You're my best friend, the only one I can talk about my feelings and insecurities. I choose you because you are the best, and never doubt yourself again, idiot."

☁️Your heart skipped a beat.

Todoroki Shoto

☁️Todoroki was confused.

☁️You weren't talking to him at all, and you didn't even look at him the whole day.

☁️Even when Aizawa partnered you both for a practice fight with another duo, you just did what had to do and never once looked his way

☁️It was at the end of the day. The classes were over and you two would normally walk back to the dorms together, but this time you went ahead and left him.

☁️Todoroki wasn't dumb and knew better than to jump to conclusions, so he was just going to wait until both if you were alone and have a conversation.

☁️So after arriving at the dorms, he went straight to your room, like he normally would.

☁️What he wasn't expecting was your distant reaction.

☁️"Y/n, what's going on, you acted strangely the whole say, did I do-"

☁️"You can stop Todoroki... you didn't do anything, I just... I don't think this is gonna work."

☁️"But-" 

☁️"Please, leave".

☁️He couldn't believe his eyes. His love was acting just like him when he first got into UA.

☁️But Todoroki knew you didn't feel that way.

☁️He knew that you loved him, he just didn't know why you were acting like this.

☁️Then he had an idea.

☁️Todoroki found himself inside of Momo's room.  

☁️"So you want to know why y/n's been acting so strangely?" Momo sighed and continued. "Well... she told me she's been feeling a little insecure lately. Especially after the meeting with Endeavour."

☁️Of course.

☁️"Thank you, Yaoyorozu". 

☁️He r a n, like a madman to your room now that he knew the reason why you were acting so strange, and let himself in without even knocking.

☁️"I'm sorry, I should have realized my father's words would get to you. I love you y/n, and no one's gonna change that, especially my father."

☁️You just hugged him, happy to stop this facade and ready to show how much you loved him again.

☁️"And sorry, for barging into your room like that."

☁️Ugh you loved this man.

Midoriya Izuku

☁️Midoriya was sad.

☁️He didn't know why you were completely ignoring him today.

☁️He was feeling nervous, especially because you started to ignore him after he told you about his secret.

☁️How he was born quirkless and how All Might gave him One for All.

☁️Of course, he asked All Might if he could tell you about it.

☁️You were shocked to hear it, sure, but he didn't know you were gonna ignore him completely the next day.

☁️It was already dinner time and everyone was sitting around the table.

☁️Normally, you would sit right next to Midoriya, but today you sat next to the other girls.

☁️Even though he knew you were trying to avoid him, he still wasn't going to give up that easily.

☁️"Could you pass me the rice y/n? Please"

☁️You just picked the rice bowl and gave it to him, not even muttering a word.

☁️oUCH

☁️Okay he wasn't expecting much, but you didn't even look at him in the eye.

☁️He was visibly shocked, and everyone could notice.

☁️Especially Tsuyu, y/n's best friend, who frowned up the situation.

☁️"Hey, Midoriya, can you help me with the dishes today?" the girl asked, getting up from the table.

☁️The boy gloomily walked towards the sink, muttering to himself like he always did.

☁️He was interrupted as soon as he tried to wash his first dish though.

☁️"Midoriya, I don't know what happened between you and y/n yesterday, she didn't tell me any details, but... She told me she felt like she wasn't good enough for you anymore."

☁️Finally, everything clicked. 

☁️"Please talk to her, I hate to see you both like this."

☁️Midoriya thanked Tsuyu for her help and ran to your room.

☁️He knocked before entering but didn't even wait for your response.

☁️"Tsuyu told me everything... How could you think you aren't good enough for me? Y/n I love you... More than anything else, I don't want anyone else but you! You are strong and extremely capable... not to mention beautiful...".

☁️The boy was tearing up at this point.

☁️"I was so afraid you thought I wasn't good enough for you... Because I was born without a quirk... I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for All Might".

☁️That's when you started to tear up.

☁️You hugged him tightly and he immediately hugged him back.

☁️"I'm sorry Izuku, I should've talked to you".

☁️"It's okay... we're better now and that's what matters".

Tamaki Amajiki

☁️Tamaki was completely destroyed

☁️The day was cloudy and cold, and his sun wasn't there to help him warm-up.

☁️It's been three days ever since you started acting differently towards Tamaki.

☁️He didn't know why and at this point, he was too afraid to ask.

☁️Of course, he did try to talk to you at first, but you ignored him completely. He didn't bother you anymore after that.

☁️He missed you.

☁️God he missed you so much.

☁️Your laugh, the taste of your cherry chapstick, the scent of your vanilla perfume.  

☁️He missed it all. But he couldn't bring himself to bother you anymore.

☁️You grew tired of his gloomy self.

☁️There was no other explanation.

☁️If only he was stronger and more confident like the others, maybe you'd stay. But he wasn't.

☁️Tamaki was sitting outside. It was lunchtime, but he wanted to eat alone.

☁️But before he could take a bite of his fried chicken, he heard fast steps coming towards him.

☁️It was Nejire and Mirio.

☁️They looked... angry?

☁️"TAMAKI! How long has it been since the last time you spoke yo y/n?" Nejire asked, getting way too close to him.

☁️"About three days... why?"

☁️"AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO SEE IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG!?"

☁️Tamaki was afraid of Nejire now.

☁️"But-".

☁️"No "but's" Tamaki!" She sighed. " Look, y/n loves you. She loves you so ☁️much, she thinks you're too good for her."

☁️"What?" He couldn't even process that.

☁️"What Nejire's saying it's true, she told us today, after we asked why you two were avoiding each other!... She didn't want to hold you back".

☁️Tamaki didn't know what to do. Once again, his insecurities made him lose something he loved.

☁️"Go talk to her Tamaki! Go get your sun back!"

☁️Mirio didn't need to say it twice.

☁️When he realized, Tamaki was inside the empty classroom. And you were there too.

☁️"Tamaki... what are yo-"

☁️"I'm sorry y/n!" He said as confidently as ever while getting closer and holding your hand.

☁️"I... I thought you got tired of me and decided to distance myself from you after you started ignoring me, but Nejire and Mirio told me everything".

☁️He squeezed you hand tighter.

☁️"I just want you to know that I love you! You're strong and you always trust in me, even then I don't trust myself... You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I need- no, I want you in my life".

☁️He didn't need to tell you that twice.

Kirishima Eijirou

☁️Kirishima didn't know how to act.

☁️There he was, petrified. 

☁️He lost count after the 30th time you ignored one of his questions.

☁️You were acting strangely today, but you never gave him a reason as to why.

☁️"How do you want me to know why she's acting like that?! We grew up in the same neighborhood, that doesn't mean I'm her friend".  

☁️Even his best friend Bakugou didn't have an answer for this dilemma.

☁️"I know! Get her a gift, maybe she'll talk to you again after that!" Said Kaminari.

☁️"Are you sure?"

☁️"Bro... I'm single, I'm not sure at all."

☁️"Well, it doesn't hurt to try..."

☁️After classes were over, Kirishima went straight to a flower shop and bought you a single red rose.

☁️Simple, yet romantic.

☁️When he got to the dorms, he spotted you alone outside and saw this as the perfect opportunity to talk to you.

☁️As soon as you saw the rose on his hands, your eyes softened up.

☁️"Y/n, I'm sorry... even though I don't really know what I did wrong..."

☁️Your eyes changed again

☁️And he wasn't expecting your reaction at all.

☁️"I'm sorry Kirishima, but I can't accept this...". You whispered and ran inside.

☁️Kirishima as r e a d y to run after you, but a certain pink-haired girl grabbed his shoulder before he could.

☁️"You're really impossible Kirishima!" Said Mina.

☁️Okay, now he was confused.

☁️"You don't even know why y/n's ignoring you! How do you expect to make things write just by randomly apologizing?!"

☁️"But... Kaminari sai-".

☁️"THERE'S A REASON WHY KAMINARI IS SINGLE".

☁️He was shook.

☁️"Listen Kirishima... You still have a lot to learn about girls, but let me tell you something, y/n's insecure... She's been feeling like she isn't enough for you. You've been getting really strong and she doesn't want to slow you down with a relationship."

☁️Kirishima's mind couldn't make any sense of what Mina was saying. You, y/n? Not good enough for him?

☁️"Now that you know this, go get your girl back!"

☁️Kirishima thanked Mina profusely and ran to your room. Not even knocking on the door.

☁️You were crying.

☁️And that hurt him more than anything else.

☁️"Y/n! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not realizing how you were feeling. But you don't need to feel that way! You're the strongest girl I know, and I'm not only talking about your quirk but your spirit as well! You make me stronger just by being by your side... Please forgive me". 

☁️You sniffed your tears and nodded.

☁️He tackled you into a hug and kissed your face all over.

[hercleverboy]

kate!! 50 from general for the prompt list? so excited to read anything you come up with ☺️

amelia!!! much love to you x x

wc ↠ 1.1k

General #50 ↠ “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Spencer took a deep breath before standing up from the table, receiving an encouraging smile from his best man as he made his way to the front of the room.

The quiet chatter among the guests fell silent as everyone turned their attention to the groom, who was about to make his wedding speech. He was nervous, of course. It was wedding day, not even two hours earlier he’d married the love of his life, and now he had to make a speech in front of a room of people. God help him.

“Hi, um.” Spencer looked down at the cue cards that he held in front of him that he’d brought to prompt him with his words. Eidetic memory or not, he didn’t want the speech to sound like it was being read off paper, he didn’t want it to lack feeling and emotion. He looked up, his eyes locking on Y/N, his wife. She could see the worry in his expression, and simply gave him a smile that seemed to work wonders. He looked back down at his cards, before making the last-minute decision to tuck them away in the pocket of his suit jacket, instead deciding to speak from the heart.

He cleared his throat, and then began to recount one of the greatest stories of all time. “The first night that I told Y/N that I loved her, well— it’s a funny story, actually.”

“Morgan had all but forced me to come out to the bar with him and the team after we spent a week over in San Francisco. The case had gone surprisingly well, so I begrudgingly agreed to tag along. Really, I only agreed to go in the hopes that he would stop bothering me.” Spencer chuckled as he looked over to where Morgan sat, his best friend, his best man.

“Never, Pretty Boy. You’re stuck with me.” Morgan called out from his seat, earning a few laughs as Spencer shook his head at his friend.

“I’d been dating Y/N for only a few weeks at that point. Things were going good, but any of the team could tell you—I was absolutely petrified of messing things up. However, that night at the bar I was.. for lack of a better term, I was wasted.” The room erupted with laughter at hearing the genius say the word ‘wasted’, the team laughing the loudest as they recounted the memory. “So much so, that I actually managed to lose my house key? And my phone, uh, my phone was dead. So I had to go to Y/N’s.”

Spencer met Y/N’s eyes again, a smile creeping onto his face as he saw her own amused grin on her lips. “So I get there, and I’m knocking on the door like an idiot because I’m just so excited to see her.”

*

The door opened and Spencer let out a loud gasp at the sight of his girlfriend. “Y/N!” He stumbled forward, losing his balance, and throwing his arms around her. “Oh I missed you soooo much.”

Y/N frowned but couldn’t deny her amusement at his current state. She put her arms around him to steady him before she spoke. “Spencer, what’re you doing here?”

She used the grip she had on him to pull him inside as she closed the door behind him.

“Wellllll I managed to lose my key? So I had to ask the taxi- the taxi guy to drop me off here.” He slurred, sounding confused as he spoke.

Y/N moved him to sit on the couch before going to retrieve him a glass of water.

When she came back, he was drunkenly rambling about a mix of quantum physics and how the third Shrek film made no sense because ‘how did a donkey impregnate a dragon?’ He stopped his rambles when Y/N came back into view, his face lighting up at the sight of her.

“Y/N.” He sang, dragging out her name. “I’m sorry I came here, but I just- I didn’t know where else to go.” He shrugged, explaining it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. He took the glass of water from her, taking a few sips in an over exaggerated and child-like manner.

“It’s okay, Spence. You know you’re always welcome here.”

He grinned at her, placing down the water (nearly missing the coffee table entirely and giving Y/N a near heart attack) before he laid down on the couch, putting his head on her lap and throwing his arms around her waist.

She chuckled, her hands coming down to run through his curls. “You tired?”

He nodded against her. “Hmm. Yep yep. Sleep sounds good.” He murmured.

“You can go to sleep, love. I’ll be here to take care of you in the morning.”

He gave a small smile sleepily. “You always take care of me. Hm.” He slurred, fighting against sleep. “Don’t deserve you.”

Y/N shushed him, hoping that running her hands through his hair would lull him to sleep.

“I love you.” He whispered before he finally let sleep take him.

*

“I found out a few weeks later that she’d actually said it back. And since then, we’ve been living happily ever after.” He grinned proudly. Having a woman as wonderful as Y/N be his was something he was so incredibly proud of, and he always made sure everyone knew just how grateful for her he was. “Uh, so I’d like to propose a toast, to my beautiful bride.” He beamed over at Y/N and could see the happy tears clouding her eyes. It took almost everything in him not to get choked up himself. “You’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I love you, so much. I can’t wait to start the rest of our lives together.”

The sound of champagne flutes clinking together filled the room, followed by a short applause for the couple before the chatter resumed.

Spencer made his way back to his seat next to his bride, and she greeted him with a hug and a kiss to his cheek. “Nice speech, Mr Reid.”

“Well thank you, Mrs Reid. I do try.” He gave her a cheeky grin before leaning in to kiss her. The team, who were sat at the table with the happy couple ‘aww’d at the sight, smiles on all their faces as they witnessed the pair.

Y/N turned to Garcia, her maid of honour, and struck up conversation. Spencer looked at his wife, taking in every detail. She looked so beautiful in her stunning dress, it was a wonder that Spencer’s heart hadn’t stopped earlier when he saw her at the opposite end of the aisle. His eye caught the gleam of the new golden band that sat above her engagement ring, his heart swelling with happiness and pride at the sight. 

What a lucky man he was.

[babymetaldoll]

April’s fool (Matthew Gray Gubler/Reader)

Prompt: April’s fool joke goes horribly wrong 

Warning: Angst, Matthew Gray being a little stupid, cursing, anger, fluffy ending ‘cos... I can’t help it, I’m sorry. 

Summary: Matthew Gray has the stupidest idea to prank his girlfriend on April’s fool, and though everyone tells him not to do it, he doesn’t listen... and pays for it

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader 

Word count: 2K

Masterlist

.

Sometimes you plan something for so long, and in such detail, it’s almost destined to go wrong. Matthew Gray had arranged every minute of his April’s fool joke for his girlfriend. He had set everything, actors had been hired, friends had been warned. 

It was meant to be a disaster from day one. Even Paget and Shemar tried to stop him. But he didn’t listen. 

- “Come on! it’s a prank! (Y/N) is gonna love it!”- Matthew chuckled bounding from foot to foot like a kid, excited with the idea, as his co-stars looked at him in disbelief. 

- “I really doubt it”- Paget shook her head with a heavy sigh- “I actually think you are going to be single by the end of April 1st”

- “Yes man, she is cool and funny, but what you are planning to do is too much”

- “You don’t know her, Shemar!” 

- “I know women, Matthew”- the actor tapped on Gubler’s back a few times and sighed- “And she is going to hate you” 

- “I agree!”- Paget stood up and looked at her friend- “Just don’t come crying when it all burst on your face, ‘cos all I’m going to say is “Told you so”.”

Of course, Matthew Gray Gubler dismissed the warnings and continued with his plan. He was sure his idea was the best April 1st joke ever. 

If only he had known. 

(Y/N) was coming out of the shower, on what was going to be one of the most chaotic April 1st’s mornings in the history of humankind, when she heard the phone. She had five missing calls from an unknown number. That was odd. 

- “Hello? Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?”

- “Yes, who is this?” 

- “My name is Jen Callahan, I’m calling you ‘cos you are listed as the emergency contact of  Matthew Gray Gubler” 

Those words are enough to make anyone panic. She held the phone tight and took a deep breath, feeling everything around her spinning. 

- “What happened?” 

- “There was an accident on the set, listen, we need you to come right away, he is in surgery right now”

- “Surgery?? why??”- (Y/N) yelled in shock 

- “As far as they told me, there was an unexpected problem with one of the props and he has most of his legs and back burned, apparently, they are third-degree burns, we need you to come” 

- “I’ll be right there!”

(Y/N) got dressed as fast as possible, grabbed the car keys, and rushed out of the house. Even for Matthew, faking a serious accident just for a prank was too much. Right? Right. 

- “Did she buy it?”- Gubler stood smiling next to the nurse he had asked for help pranking his girlfriend. They were both standing at the front desk of the hospital, and the actor could hardly hide his excitement. 

- “She freaked out”

- “Thank you so much, Anna”- he nearly jumped on his spot, like the manchild he was, as the woman next to him sighed and crossed her arms on her chest  

- “Are you sure this is a good idea?” 

- “Yeah! of course! why do you ask?” 

- “‘Cos I would kill my boyfriend if he ever pranks me like this” 

- “That’s because you are not (Y/N), and he is not me, trust me, she is going to laugh for days after this joke, she’ll tell about it to everyone we meet”

Gubler was indeed very certain of his words. The woman shook her head and raised her hands. 

- “I already did my part, and if this goes wrong, I’ll have nothing to do with it.”  

And again, if only Matthew knew what he was doing. What he was getting into.

(Y/N) was driving to the hospital as fast as possible, almost missing a few red lights. She couldn’t believe what had happened, she had kissed Gubler goodbye that morning after they had breakfast, and made plans for dinner out. He had already pranked her for heaven sakes! he had given her a frozen cereal bowl, with frozen milk and spoon. He had left it overnight in the freezer and laughed on her face when she tried to eat it. And that had been it! 

How on earth did he get in a fire on the set?! how?! 

(Y/N) grabbed her cellphone while driving and dialed Paget’s number. She needed more details, she needed to know what was going on, how it had happened. 

Paget was standing next to Shemar on set when her phone rang. Matthew had given them a script in case his girlfriend tried to contact them (literally a script, including (Y/N)’s lines, ‘cos he said he knew her so well, he knew exactly what she was going to say and ask). 

Gubler had actually asked help from the hospital staff to make everything work perfectly: (Y/N) was going to arrive and a “nurse” was going to be waiting for her at the lobby, and ask her to fill a form. Then, she was going to walk her to the waiting room, where a “doctor” was going to give her all the details of the accident and the operation, and then he was going to take her to him. Matthew would be on the bed, pretending to be asleep, covered in bandages, and as soon as (Y/N) would get near, he was going to jump out of bed with a t-shirt that said “April’s fool day!” and (Y/N) was going to be so relieved he was ok, there was no way she was ever going to be mad at him. 

Right? Of course!

Or that’s what Matthew kept telling to himself.  

- “Hello? Paget?”- (Y/N) asked, barely listening on the other side of the phone. She was too worried, too nervous to really know what she was doing. 

- “(Y/N)! (Y/N)! can you hear me?”

- “What happened?! what the fuck happened to Matthew?!”- the actress didn’t really want to lie, but she had given her friend her word she was going to help him with this prank. 

- “(Y/N), listen, calm down”

- “How the fuck do you want me to calm down?! they just called to tell me my boyfriend is in surgery!! what happened?!”- (Y/N) was now shouting on the phone, terrified.  

- “I wasn’t there, I just saw when they took him out… but he is going to be ok! I promise!”- Paget felt like shit listening to how (Y/N) broke in tears. 

- “How do you know that?”- the young woman sobbed- “They told me he was severely burned, that he….”

But there was a yell at the other side of the line and a big crash. Paget stayed still, cold, holding the phone, with widened eyes. 

- “(Y/N)? hello? (Y/N)? are you there?”- but there was no one on the other side of the line. 

- “Hey, what happened?”- Shemar asked as soon as he noticed Paget’s face was white. 

- “I think (Y/N) had an accident”

- “What?” 

- “She was driving, and she was very upset and… I think she crushed the car”- neither of them moved for a second, both in shock to think that might actually happen. 

- “Matthew!”- the actress shouted suddenly- “I have to call Matthew!” 

Gubler was in the hospital room waiting for his girlfriend to appear crying. He was very anxious to see her surprised face when he jumped from the bed with a big smile and a goofy t-shirt he had hand made for the day. But (Y/N) was running late, and the actor was growing impatient.

He was about to walk outside and go see what was going on when his cellphone hummed in his pocket, and he quickly picked it up. 

- “Matthew!!”- Paget yelled as soon as she heard her friend’s voice at the other side of the line, cheerful as always- Matthew! listen to me, something happened

- “What?”  

- “(Y/N) called, and...”

- “Oh please don’t tell me you told her what was going on, ‘cos...”

- “No! Matthew, listen to me, I think something bad happened”- and Gubler’s heart dropped.

- “What do you mean bad?” 

- “She called me on her way to the hospital, and she was freaking out, I tried to calm her down a little, but it was impossible, and then”- Paget made a pause and bit her lips, trying to find the right words to say it. 

- “Then what the fuck happened?!”- Gubler shouted. 

- “Then there as a crash and the line went dead, Shemar is trying to contact her now, but neither of us has managed to do it!”

Matthew Gray’s eyes filled with tears in a second. He was petrified in fear and guilt. He never stopped to think about what was going to happen with (Y/N) from the minute she got the call to tell her he was hurt until she saw him. He knew she was going to be affected, but he didn’t feel the weight of it until that second. He knew (Y/N) loved him, of course, she was going to be nervous and anxious to get to the hospital, which meant she was prone to any accident on the road. Including a car crash. 

- “Oh no, no, no, no”- he repeated over and over again as he walked out the room and ran outside the hospital. He went past a few of the actors he had hired, the nurse he had asked for help, and some random people in the sitting area. He needed to find (Y/N), but he didn’t even know where to start looking. Just the idea of her being hurt was hurting him. Killing him. He had to find her and hold her, and make sure she was alright. 

- “Did you lose something, Gubler?”- (Y/N)’s voice made him jump as soon as he set foot outside the hospital. She was standing there, arms crossed on her chest, her face tightened, narrowing her eyes. 

- “Bunny! you are ok! oh shit! thank god you are ok!”- but Matthew looked past all those details and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her tight, and pressing her as close as his body as possible. He kissed her cheeks, shoulder, and forehead over and over again until she pushed him away and looked at him. 

- “You do realize now your April fool’s joke sucked, right?”- she was still serious, though Gubler was still trying to kiss her and hold her tight- “Thinking someone has been severely injured is not funny!”

- “I know, I’m sorry! are you ok?”- he didn’t even think about his answer, he just apologized and looked at her- “Let me see you”

- “I am fine, nothing happened to me”

- “But Paget said…” 

- “I know what she said… you should call her and tell her I’m ok, by the way”- Gubler nodded and looked at (Y/N) again. Before doing anything else he just leaned in closer to her and kissed her. 

- “I’m sorry I scared you, Bunny”- he whispered and rubbed his lips against hers. 

(Y/N) wasn’t mad, she was glad Gubler had realized he had had a shitty idea and that he had learned a lesson, There are things you don’t joke about.

- “When did you realize it was all a prank?”- he was still holding her tight as he asked. 

- “When I called your mother and she told me the whole plan, two minutes after I started driving, she said she told you it was a shitty idea”- and Gubler smiled, kissing her lips again. 

- “She did… and I didn’t listen…”

- “So I decided you needed to learn a lesson” 

- “Lesson learned, Bunny... I’m so sorry I scared you” 

- I’m sorry I scared you too… though you totally deserved it- Gubler nodded and kissed her for the hundredth time. He sighed thinking he was lucky she was ok, and he was lucky she wasn’t mad. The plan he had for their upcoming anniversary was way better than his April’s fool prank, and the ring he kept hidden in his trailer was the proof. 

- “Come on Bunny, let me buy you lunch”

- “Aren’t you supposed to go back to work?”- Gubler made a pause and sighed  

- “Shit… I’ll buy you dinner then”

- “You better!” 

[fangirlyah]

✦destruction - Draco Malfoy x Reader

summary: when chaos takes place at hogwarts, draco loses sight of y/n in the middle of the war. 

warnings: cursing, destruction, war, deaths...its angst so

word count: 1,511

destruction. 

that surrounded them. 

the place where they had grown up was destroyed and filled with ashes.

if you concentrated your ear, from the castle entrance, you could hear the heartbreaking cries coming from the great hall.

the war had come to an end, causing many losses along the way. 

most people were having a hot drink or eating a piece of bread while madam pomfrey and her helpers bandaged their wounds or used magic to close cuts. 

draco was not there with the others. a familiar scene was dismounting in the abandoned bathroom. his tears ran down his face like waterfalls and he had to start taking off his clothes because he felt he was drowning. 

when chaos had broken out and his parents had left, he stayed. he stayed in search of y/n, the love of his life who looked at him sweetly from the other side of the war. despite being hurt and tired because of his family's alliances she continued to look at him with love. 

"you stayed!” she cried out loud amidst the sounds of destruction around her when, after harry disappeared into the castle fighting the dark lord, she approached her boyfriend quickly.

"of course I did! where you go, I go!”

when some death eaters started to come against draco with the intention of killing him for his betrayal she stood in front of him. she always did, even though he was the one who looked like a tough and evil boy, he always had a deep need to have y/n to defend him; there were times when he lost all his strength, but she was always there. 

"go away, draco!” her wand protected them from the dozens of spells that were cast in their direction and when she managed to remove the wand from his attacker, it was time for draco to be safe. 

"i'm not leaving you!” his desperate gaze was quickly drawn to the scenes around him, all fighting for their lives, all risking their innocent lives. 

"draco i beg you to leave!” draco took a step backwards hesitating but when he wanted to say another word the fight between y/n and his opponent had started again "quick draco! get away!” he started running to the entry of the castle ”i love you!” 

that was the last he heard from her before he disappeared into the school. it was the first time they had ever confessed how much they loved each other and he had not said it back.

he thought, you didn't have time to say it back don't worry, but his thoughts consumed him alive. 

when he ran inside the castle he didn't know where to go; so he fought with whoever was in front of him to save his companions and get to some hiding place. the bathroom belonging to moaning myrtle was empty as usual. he thought maybe there was someone else hiding, like him, but there wasn't; everyone was fighting a battle that he didn't seem to be able to stand. that's why he hid inside a cubicle to wait. 

he could hear the terrified screams and the breaking of things from the solitude of the bathroom. his mind started to wander on what he would be doing at that moment if it were not for the stupid war. he wanted to believe that he would be on holiday as it was june. he thought that he would probably be with y/n going on some crazy adventure like swimming in the lake or having picnics in the middle of the woods surrounding malfoy manor. but it was not like that, that was not his reality, it was not even close. 

a cry was the last thing he heard before he knew it was over. he did not recognize the voice but he knew it was a cry of relief, a cry of joy. 

we won, he thought. 

his body seemed to move automatically because, when he regained consciousness, he was already rushing down the large stairs leading to the entrance hall.  

there was no more fighting or shouting; the people who were left were mostly inside the great hall. 

i can't go in there, he thought, they'll kick me out. for a moment he felt out of place, part of this destruction and chaos had been caused by him and now he was standing vulnerable in search of a y/h/c girl with bright eyes. 

his breath was heavy and his eyes expressed too much sadness. his feet were running through the corridors screaming a name that was not being answered. 

"y/n! where are you!? at that point he no longer cared about losing his reputation; he no longer cared about anything but her. people looked at him as he passed by and asked for y/n, no one seemed to have seen her. 

she was not in the corridors, nor in the courtyards; he knew that she would not be hiding in any common room or dorm, she was too faithful to her friends to hide and not fight  

as his legs moved desperately through the rubble he saw a familiar face. 

"potter! where is she?!" harry looked at him wearily as draco came quickly in his direction. the chosen one did not respond, he didn't know what to say. “speak, potter! where is she?!" his big pale hand took him by the coat he was wearing to threaten him with violence. 

"I don't know, malfoy" harry's tone was calm as if he had given up. 

"you are an idiot! tell me where she is!" his veins were marked on his neck as he screamed against the face of his childhood enemy. 

"you tell me where she is! you should have been with her, protecting her but you ran away like a coward! so if you have to insult someone it's yourself!" for the first time harry regretted having insulted malfoy; draco's eyes began to shed tears that potter preferred to ignore.

potter was right. 

his hands began to tremble and when he was about to shout something someone interrupted them. 

"shut up both of you! she's inside!" ginny shouted at the two boys fighting. 

not a second had passed that ginny had finished the sentence, that draco was running inside. he entered the great hall like a gust of wind with his eyes looking for her in the crowd; the tears that had come out in the discussion with harry were even stronger and made it difficult for him to find his lover. he did not care that people were looking at him questioningly or even with hatred. his mind and heart were longing with all their strength to find her, so he did not feel the looks on him. 

draco’s body was wandering around the room and he did not see her, causing an unbearable panic to abound when he realised that he was a few steps away from the stretchers for the dead. 

his world began to weaken when he saw the weasleys crying looking at the floor, was y/n on that stretcher?

a life without her crossed his mind, when he was petrified in his place looking at the family of redheads, and although he tried to erase it quickly he knew that at that moment it was a potion. 

“took you long enough” a tired and drowsy voice spoke to him from a stretcher on the floor. he recognized that sleeping voice, that voice that woke him up in the morning and sent him away at night. 

afraid that he was hallucinating, draco turned his face around and saw her. an image that would take time to erase from his memory. y/n was lying with two bandages on her right arm and a two centimeter cut on her forehead, close to the beginning of her hair. she was covered in dust and seemed to have woken up from a long sleep, but nevertheless y/n looked at him with the best of smiles and eyes full of love.

"y-y/n!" was all draco could say before he fell to his knees on the side of the precarious stretcher. his hands traveled to her cheeks as gently as possible as he saw her all blurred by the tears in her eyes. although he did not see her clearly he felt her tears fall into his hands. y/n heard the sobbing that escaped from draco's mouth and so she sat down slowly to wrap her arms around him. "you are here" draco whispered between quick breaths. 

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" as if she was going to break, which was likely, draco sat her on his lap with calm and love and then wrapped her in his arms as she hid her face in his neck. her soft hands ran down her boyfriend's back and hair. 

"I love you too" in the end, he made it. he managed to tell her how much he loved her. 

y/n just smiled in his neck, filling draco with an incredible amount of happiness. 

peace.

that surrounded them. 

[chuckbass-love]

Prompt: Teen Chris pregnancy scare evans fam included

Hi love, i’m sorry that you’ve waited so long for this and i also hope that it’s worth the wait...

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

A/N: This is set with Chris and Reader BOTH being 18. I also tried my hardest to make this angsty but come on, it’s Chris. No way would he be a dick about it, he’s definitely the type to reassure and make reader feel better. So it’s cute and fluffy instead. Please give feedback if you can, i’d love to hear everyones thoughts. 

Pairing: Young!Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Virginity loss, mentions of teen pregnancy and a sprinkle of fluff. No real warnings i guess.

Word Count: 1,703

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @forchrisevans go check them out❤️

Almost

When you first started dating, Chris was very much the one to initiate going steady and waiting for sex. He never wanted you to feel pressure to put out for him and since he was a virgin too, you agreed to wait together. Until you felt certain that the time was right.

And now here you are, 18 years old. Making out with your boyfriend of almost 2 years in his bedroom, door open of course. Lisa was very calm and relaxed with you being here but she wanted to be able to monitor the situation.

Without saying another word, the make out session came to an abrupt end once he’d laid you down on his bed.

“Can you just excuse me for a second?” he asks, cheeks flushed and hands shaky. You nod your head in agreement and soon enough he shoots out of the door, footsteps loud as he rushes down the stairs.

But what you don’t know is he’s actually about to ask his mom if the door can be closed, just this once.

“Why honey?” she plays dumb but secretly she knows. He’s 18, a grown up technically and it’s time. Clearly.

“Mom, me and Y/N are... you know?” he nods his head towards the stair case as he speaks, hoping she’ll catch on which of course she does.

“I see, do you have protection?” 

If his cheeks weren’t the perfect shade of pink before, they certainly are now. All thanks to mother.

“Mom” he hisses in embarrassment.

“Son, i want you to know that this is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone experiences this” 

“I have protection” his confirmation is enough for her to give him a reassuring smile and a nod before he walks away, heading back up where you are. He shuts the door behind him and you can’t help but furrow your brows.

“What are you doing?” you ask with your lips curling up into a smile but he just turns to face you, making his way to the bed and kneeling between your now open legs.

A couple of kisses are pressed to the back of your hands before he lowers his head to kiss your stomach whilst looking up at you with of pure adoration in his eyes.

And in this moment, you truly feel like the luckiest girl alive. Being loved by him is like being stuck in a constant free fall, every day is like living in heaven and every moment too (even the bad ones).

It’s strange how you’ve managed to find your soul mate at such a young age but you know that you’re glad it’s happened because being with him is what true happiness is.

Once his face is inches from yours, you pull him closer, attacking his lips with pure hunger and passion “i want you now” you whisper softly but his silence soon takes away from how you’re feeling. 

Does he not want this?

“What’s wrong?” you ask, voice laced with worry and confusion.

“Nothing, it’s just I want you too but i want you to be sure that you want this. Because you know we don’t have to do-”

“Chris, i want this. I want you” you cup his face, either side, forehead pressed to his.  

You both sit up and start to undress, your eyes meeting occasionally. The little giggle that leaves your mouth as he gets on top of you has him melting inside, you’re everything to him.

The two of you put the condom on together being as his hands are quite shaky and once it’s on, your eyes meet “you ready?” 

“I’m ready”

----------------------------------

It’s been a week since you and Chris had sex and you gotta say, you feel like it’s strengthened you as a couple. You feel different, almost as if you’re glowing and you see a change in him too. 

But the only downside to your joy, sickness. You’ve been feeling very nauseous although you keep brushing it off as you seriously doubt it’s anything serious.

----------------------------------

It’s been two weeks since you started feeling nauseous and now you’ve lost count how many times you’ve been sick, you informed Chris about it but the two of you soon put any worries to bed. You used protection and besides you’re on the pill. It’s not pregnancy, it can’t be.

That didn’t stop you getting a test though. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

As soon as you informed Chris of your purchase, he rushed over to your place instantly, saying how he refuses to let you do this alone and if you need peace of mind then who is he to stop you?

You do the test and then join him on the bed to wait for the results.

“Are you okay?” he asks, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his mouth to kiss. 

“I’m okay. Are you?” lies. All lies. You’re petrified, so much so that you can feel the tears on the edge of falling from your drowned eyes.

“Well you know, it isn’t exactly how i imagined the after math of losing my virginity to look like but i’m good. Whatever happens now, we’ll face it together” despite Chris saying all of this, he’s even beginning to feel terrified. At first he thought it was just for your peace of mine but now it’s for his too.

“Is it time yet?” you nudge him, looking towards his watch for him to check and the second he nods, you feel your stomach drop with dread and fear.

You don’t want to be a teen mom, you’re not ready for it. 

1) You’re too immature for it

2) You can’t see kids being on your agenda for at least a good 7/8 years, you have big dreams of college and then eventually a career in fashion and design. How will that happen if you have a kid?

Okay, enough panicking. Time to see the results.

You turn the stick over to see it’s negative and the deep breath you both let out, one of relief, that’s for sure.

“Oh thank god”

The way you practically jump into his arms out of pure happiness and joy for the results has him laughing way too loud, thankfully you love his loud laugh and you can’t wait for many more years to come listening to it. Many more years of sex that’s not stressful, sex where you’ll both be extra careful, every single time.

“Now what?” you look up at him as you start getting ready to go to his place for the night. Not your first time staying since Lisa adores you but for some reason you’re nervous this time around. Maybe because you just had a pregnancy scare with her son. You hope she doesn’t yell at you both.

“My place?”

“Of course”

Once you’re ready to stay the night, you head to his house, entering with a heart beat that you’re certain can be heard by everyone that comes near you.

“Ma” he yells out, shutting the door behind you and poking his head into the lounge but of course, his mom can always be found in the kitchen. She’s a dynamite cook so it makes sense.

“Kitchen” 

He takes your hand, leading the way and before you know it, you’re face to face. Lisa goes in for a hug, squeezing you tight and pretty much complimenting everything about you before reprimanding Chris for not complimenting you. See, she really does adore you.

“Ma, we have something to talk to you about” he says through gritted teeth, she’s going to kill him. Maybe she’ll kill you too, who knows at this point. It’s anybody’s guess.

“What is it son?” confusion all over her face as she takes a seat opposite you at the dining table.

“Well, as you know. Me and Y/N have recently had sex” he starts, noticing how formal he’s speaking and you can’t help but cringe at the word sex. If that doesn’t scream immature then what does? “So Y/N was feeling very nauseous recently and-” before he can even finish, Lisa stands up. 

“I swear Christopher Robert Evans if she is pregnant” she walks round to your side of the table, raising her hand to smack him on the back of his head but he soon stops it.

“Ma, relax, relax. The test was negative” he holds his hands up in surrender to avoid an ass whooping most likely.

“How careful are you both when having sex?”

Again, you cringe before clearing your throat to speak “we used a condom plus i’m on birth control” 

She sighs “make sure you’re being extra careful every time guys. I don’t want to sound like a broken record but i can’t stress enough how much responsibility being a parent involves. And to do it young, it takes a lot out of you”

She’s right, you two clearly weren’t careful enough. This is definitely a lesson learned.

“Doesn’t mean i’m gonna quit bothering you though. You need to be safe during sex”

“Okay, ma, i know”

“Clearly not or you wouldn’t have had this scare”

“I’m sure your mom is just concerned, that’s all” you assure him and he turns to you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your forehead before your cheek and then your lips.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“Now that we’ve got that lecture over with, how does, chicken and vegetables sound for dinner?”

“Sounds amazing Lisa” you give her a hug before rolling up your sleeves and helping her with the rest of the prep, all while Chris unloads your stuff into his room for tonight.

------------------------------

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