#love you bud!!
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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mhmm, a real danger to society.
(≖_≖ ) if dangerous, why so soft?
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#dangerous syndicate leader my ass#look at that face#just makes you want to#kiss him all over#eeeeeeeeeeek#look at this man#oi oi oi#I see that look#can’t fool me bud#god ily mr vampire#purrr
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I don't have time to draw anything new for Reigen's birthday, so here's an olderish serirei that I never posted instead
#happy birthday bud you get uhhhh happiness and love#serirei#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#mp100#mob psycho 100#my stuff
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when u love being called 'love'
#twst#twisted wonderland#best endearment name ever me think#there's always a little flower bud pop up in my stomach when i'm being called love#(just by random old people in the street but that's also a thing)#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#newly wed and in love#i once think of how he would text in a so romantic way calling u love and all#but then when he meets u in real time he always reverts back to calling you you or human bcs he is just so embarrassed#now he actually calls her love she is happy#teenage sebek would be proud or will he
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Woke up this morning thinking about Lestat’s fledgling (Felix according to IMDb) being all “that’s Louis?!” when Louis first came in and said hello. And, like… how annoying do you think Lestat was mentioning Louis every single night of that poor baby vamp’s life? How many times an hour was the name Louis uttered in that cottage? Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis. Something something the name said over and over until it was pounding in my head like a hammer…
How many fledglings do you think Lestat drove away simply because he would not shut up about Louis Louis Louis…
#Felix I’m sorry bud you were only made to catch rats and listen to ten hours of Louis stories per business night#interview with the vampire#loustat#otp: all my love belongs to you
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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valentines day nonsense
#aglaya has a 500kg grip strength daniil bud you need to RUN you are in the death zone#artemy is like an honorary saint of love... to me#pathologic#мор утопия#artemy burakh#aglaya lilich#daniil dankovsky#i mean... they are there but its not rlly about them lol#shriikadraws#suggestive#i GUESS????#cw blood#tw blood#just in case#this is so self indulgent but we ball
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"I'd love to sign an 8 year deal right now, don't get me wrong. But with my age and, you know, not knowing how long I'm gonna play for...yeah we'll see what that term is but it wouldn't be something on the longer end, I don't think."
#im!! emotional#we would love to see 8 more years of you bud but you gotta do whats right for you#sidney crosby#pittsburgh penguins#just a kid
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I always think it's funny when I see one of those posts from someone going I can't BELIEVE people talk about Ghibli films as aesthetic comfort sweet soft movies, these movies are about DARK FUCKED UP subject matter and heavy topics like DEATH and WAR and then you can scroll a little further and you can see reblogged clips from Ghibli movies of slow pans across sprawling meadows and beautifully rendered alien fauna or cozy villages with the most beautiful piano score played over it, sandwiched between moments of genuine human compassion and connection, quiet sequences of people performing mundane tasks, and I'm like yeah man that's crazy, definitely people are crazy if they associate these things w their corresponding movies. personally, I sit down to watch Kiki's Delivery Service stone-faced as I meditate on the Loss Of Innocence and I don't experience any other parts of the movie. only the serious bits. I don't reblog a single aesthetic gifset from the movie because then that means I would be Missing The Point
#be so for real you guys. movies can be multiple things#the serious subject matter and the darker parts of ghibli movies are not like. the only thing.#it's actually really funny to summarize them that way#there's so many Ghibli movies also and they are not interchangeable so when i read these posts#i love imagining frustratedly reciting it to someone who was just watching whisper of the heart#which is about a lot of things. and also very much IS a soft and relaxing sweet movie#“but you don't get the POINT of the movie is serious/dark” no i super do. i also see it as a whole.#sergle.txt#even the really fucked up ones are still beautiful damn! the wind rises? fuck#nausicaa is one of my favorites and it is in fact. still aesthetic as hell. and soft. despite it all.#ofc i love mononoke. i also like the art in it. keep up bud
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riki when he saw a child engene in the crowd ⭐
#enhypen#enhypenet#*jelly's#nishimura riki#riki#his giggles when he saw the kid with his picket#the way he looked around coz he knew he was not allowed to jump off#but did it anyway#oh im so .... i love him so much oh my god#like i wonder if he sees himself in the eyes of every child in the crowd#if he’s reminded of the times he was looking at the stage; seeds of a bright dream budding & growing#i wonder if he looks at them & sees himself—both the past & the present—all at once#he's always so gentle towards child fans like#always looks at them with tenderness and loving eyes... he has so much love to give#oh riki you will always be loved by me
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Love Languages
Summary: Love is a weird soup. Word count: 851 Warnings: None. It's fluff. :) *This also has absolutely nothing to do with the 'Lauren' arch. thanks to @mrs-prentiss for sending the gif that inspired this :)
You love spoiling your girlfriend.
At work, she’s a total badass, analyzing psychopaths, chasing killers, and putting the bad guys behind bars. You’ve been in the office at Quantico and Emily is a completely different person there. She’s still funny, cracking a light joke here and there, bonding with her team, but there is an air of seriousness that clouds the demeanor you see at home.
At home, Emily is soft. She wears comfortable fabrics that hang almost loosely off of her, her face is usually free of makeup, and the stoic lines on her face ease. She is more carefree, laughing at her own jokes as well as yours.
She is also more touchy. Her hands find your body any chance they get. A hand at the small of your back when you’re both in the kitchen cooking dinner and she needs a way around you, a hand rubbing your foot as you both lay on the couch watching tv, playing with your hair any time you cuddle.
Emily loves you fearlessly, endlessly, but quietly.
You love her loudly. Constant gestures, words of affirmation, quality time. You are the embodiment of every love language, a way to combat the neglect and angst of Emily’s previous relationships, both platonically and romantically.
You know a little of her past, her sharing bits and pieces as your relationship has progressed. You understand that those relationships, along with her job, have cracked and damaged parts of Emily that she shields from most of the world. So, you do everything you can to show her how much you love her.
Thankful for the ‘sharing location’ feature on your phones, you can watch her as she approaches your house, giving you ample time to get things together. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen her, a case dragging her to the other side of the country. She gets home late into the evening, exhaustion rolling off of her.
You meet her at the door, kissing her gently, before shooing her upstairs to shower the case off of her.
Sometime later, she comes down in a cream colored sweater, her hair a little wavy. Emily can immediately tell you went to some lengths to make things relaxing for her. There’s a smell of some sort of red sauce pasta cooking, candles lit in the dining room.
She comes over to you, wrapping her arms loosely around you as you stir the pasta on the stove. You feel her inhale deeply against your neck, breathing in not only the scent of your perfume, but also the smell of the food cooking before you. She pulls away, moving to grab glasses for wine, choosing a red she knows will go well with your pasta.
She moves over to the table, settling in the seat and watching you. You move with ease, a comfortability that she’s never had in the kitchen. With her chin in her hand resting on the table, her mind wanders to all of the ways that you love her. Sometimes it overwhelms her, makes her feel as if she’s not enough, because she knows that she doesn’t express love in the same way, her past experiences making her more timid with her affection.
You remind her constantly that love can be shown in so many different ways; you don’t require grand gestures or expensive gifts or countless exclamations of love. You appreciate the quiet, subtle expressions of devotion: a good morning text, when she brings a little treat from the gas station on her way home, when she makes time to leave work on time to spend more time with you.
Knowing her is loving her.
Emily snaps back to reality as plates are put on the table, you smiling gently at her as you settle into the seat beside her. You rub her knee a few times before picking up your cutlery and digging into the meal.
There are no words shared between you, a serene silence filling the space, each lost in your own thoughts.
As the meal is finished, you clear the dishes away, shuffling back and forth to the kitchen.
Tenderly, you walk over and grab her hand, dragging her up, making your way towards the living room with the intention of going upstairs to get some sleep…or do something else, awaiting to see what vibe meets you upstairs.
Emily draws up short, her hand falling from yours. She waits until you turn around, confused.
“I love you.”
She’s said the words to you many times, but each feels like the first. You feel yourself blush, warming at the affection and attention her eyes are trying to portray.
“I love you, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss.” You reach your hand back out. “Now come to bed with me,” you say, a devious look in your eyes, hinting at what more you expect to occur once you make your way upstairs.
Emily’s face heats, her smile extending wide before she pulls her lip between her teeth. She looks back up at you, sheepish and coy, her hands on her hips.
“I’d follow you anywhere.”
#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss fanfic#virescent v fanfic#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss x you#love is a weird soup!!!!!#meaning its a culmination of *so* many ingredients#and its different for everyone#(we all have different taste buds)#(and we all have different experiences)#(both shaping how differently we experience the soup itself#anyways this was written at 0434 and thats why love is soup#it makes sense in my head yall just roll with it
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How McDavid and Draisaitl Possess Different Leadership Styles
#hockey#nhl#edmonton oilers#connor mcdavid#leon draisaitl#need this for the archives#interesting to see how far they've come and how much they've learned#they love and trust and believe in their team and their passion to win and that's not news to anyone who's actually been paying attention#but it's still always so heartwarming to hear them talk about#leon 'it's probably the german in me' yeah bud we know and we love you
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allow space
so important to allow neurodivergent creators space to exist and express. it is LIFE CHANGING for some i had chronic pain for years, chuck thought my life would just be painkillers forever but you allowed me place to express myself and pain dissolved. CREATE and let others create
when i started my trot the amount of questioning of my autism and saying he is wearing mask this cant be real was so overwhelming and i am so glad i did not listen to those telling me my way of expression is 'wrong' or 'fake'. this has saved my life in literal way so THANK YOU
thank you to my buckaroos for joining me on this journey it means the world to me. it is OUR journey now. cant wait to see what happens with camp damascus and all the other futures we will create, cant wait to see what kind of adventures we get into. LOVE IS REAL
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machine rider varl ♡
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#varl#charger#using the free cam in cutscenes to get a closeup of varl arriving at barren light :D#i love you bud#hfw varl#hfw npcs#hfw pc
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The fact that Wild ran to Time of all people to have his opinion validated is hilarious to me. My man that dude has seen horrors and oddities you wouldn’t believe
#time was honestly the WORST person to go to#although I find it adorable that Wild ran over to him like that#(I love their dynamic so every panel with them bonding is precious to me)#that was not a good decision#you won’t find sympathy there wild sorry bud#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu update spoilers#trin rambles#lu time#lu wild
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i can teach you how to be just like me
just listen carefully
#tw eyestrain#tw bright colors#listened to jazmin bean's hello kitty one time and then i blacked out and this happened#i actually fucking love mahito so much he makes me so damn crazy definitely one of my fave curses he's SOOO GOOD#i also love junpei he's my little pookie poo sorry this is the first time i've drawn you i love you little guy#same with nanami this is the first time ive drawn him LOL sorry bud#this is one of the most stylish pieces ive ever drawn and i think its cuz i just let myself go wild on it#also i LOOOVE the way nobara turned out and mahito's expression..... he is so lalala#mahito#nobara kugisaki#junpei yoshino#nanami kento#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk art#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#doodooart
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