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ionomycin · 16 hours ago

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my favorite pieces from 2024

#artists on tumblr #thank you so much for all the support this year #it's been a rough one for so many i know #the fact that people still have the energy to care about my art #and support independent creators #makes me so happy #wishing the very best for all of you #if it's been a difficult year know you're not alone in that #hopefully next year will be kinder #spend time with your loved ones and cherish them #take time for the things you enjoy #if you're able to

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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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stil-lindigo · 1 year ago

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warmth.

a comic about not being alone.

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

#to all the trans men and women and anyone who feels like they have to stifle themselves for their own safety #may you never feel like youre alone in this #this comic is one of my more grounded ones #it just felt right to not try to decorate this one in a lot of symbolic fanfare #sometimes i have to go above and beyond to fit the vision. this felt right being pretty understated.#i really did my best with this one and i hope it shows #you all deserve so much joy and so much love from your partners in life #and i hope you like this and if you dont thats okay too #thats all #thank you for your support #and as always #thank you for reading #comic art #lgbtqia+#queer comics #hearteaters #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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hansoeii · 3 months ago

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It's the end of an era!! I've upgraded my icon!! I understand if we all need a second to grieve...

#So much has happened in just 2 years it's insane #just want to thank you all for your amazing support #i love you all so muchhhhh #also my icon is not me btw #but my oc sanja #i in fact have dark brown hair and I'm pale as a ghost #art #my art

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solhunder-old · 2 months ago

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Inktober Day 31: "Landmark"

This was by far the biggest tree his little eyes had ever seen! They couldn't touch it - Sam said it was because it didn't like being touched. That's okay, not everyone likes hugs. Sam said that they should take a "family photo," and...oh. Family? Were they a family? He supposed they were. How lucky could he be, to have gone on such a grand adventure with his family? To have his two bestest friends by his side, always and forever?

Maybe the tree didn't like hugs, but Danny sure did. And how lucky was he, to have a family that liked hugs, too.

#and I would like to hug each and every one of you who supported his little adventure this month!#i love you all!#yes even you reading this!#may you be blessed with your favorite treat and a nice soft blanket #danny phantom #dp #phandom #little baby man #lbm #sam manson #tucker foley #inktober 2024 #solhunder art #inktober

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knifearo · 8 months ago

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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

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teaboot · 1 month ago

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tranny freak :)

#Negativity #Transphobia #I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here #I am genuinely so much happier like this #Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever #All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive #I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool #And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades #What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy #What are you going through #Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely #Why are you so afraid of genuine connection #Why are you scared of people #Are you happy with your life right now #Do you like yourself #How much time do you spend doing this #Do you think the negativity might be getting to you #How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it #I'm really sorry #I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything #Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday #There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions #Kinda sad that you're missing out

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rjshope · 3 months ago

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breathtaking jimin for @jkvjimin✨

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rainingcatsandjune · 5 months ago

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haha heyy its been a while 😭😭 sorry for the lack of activity here,,, school has been kicking my butt + i've gotten SUPER hyperfixated on disco elysium,,,, BUT THE MOMENT I SAW THE ORIGINAL I KNEW I HAD TO DRAW SAM AS THIS RAHSBBFBDN i seriously need to catch up on the recent audios 😭😭😭 ANYWAY enjoy :)

vvvvv ORIGINAL BELOW vvvvv

shhhhghhshhshhsh youre telling me this ISNT sam??? like????

#redactedverse #redacted sam #redacted audio #sam collins #redacted asmr #my art #god seriously my disco elysium hyperfixation has gotten so bad #its a seriously good game you guys #i love harry and kim and jean and judit and RAHDHHDBF #i was hesitant on posting more stuff on here cuz ive gotten traction for my redacted stuff so #i feel like if i post more art people would expect more redacted stuff from me which im not as hyperfixated on anymore 😭#but then i realised i shouldnt think that way #THIS IS MY BLOG #YOU CANNOT COME INTO MY HOME AND ASK ME TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF MY CARPETS #so ALL IN ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!!#I HOPE YOU DONT MIND IF I START POSTING FANART OF OTHER FANDOMS!!!#anyway SAM COLLINS THE MAN THAT YOU AREE AHDNDNGNNDF #im still not over you.

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paperglader · 5 months ago

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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

#I am only a girl living in a society #I make connections #she looks so pretty in blue though I want more #also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something #rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up #Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron #and rhaenyra is like I KNOW #like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years #and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife #and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year #whilst also having her own mental breakdown #because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel #or jace for that matter #that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir #but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce #but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently #but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea #and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy #hotd leaks #house of the dragon leaks #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #rhaenicent #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #bridgerton

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lemongogo · 1 year ago

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thank you, meryl

#trigun #trigun maximum #vash #meryl #my art #btwn this quote and the one where she says you dont have to carry everything on your own #CANT CHOOSEEE GRRRGRAAAA #they mean so much 2 each other man . MAAANBB!!!!! j love the scenes they share #in that little pocket post legato pre knives #and w all the feathers falling arnd them T_T vash knowing all that can be done is done #AND MERYL OVERCOMING HER FEARSSS .. TO CONNECT W VASH .. SUPPORT HIM ..#AND HE NOT ONLY SEES IT BUT FEEEELSS ITT . SHUTRTTTT UPPPPP #MYY GOD OHH MY GOD (weepign)#trigun spoilers

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cowboythewizard726 · 9 months ago

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beautiful orc girl leed helllOOOOO beautiful leed alert oh my GOD she's so cool WOOAHHHH beautiful siilly girl she was really pretty and awesome and so kind i think shes wonderful and there should be a statue made just for her thats really big and in the center of everything and she should get anything she wants ever smile face

#LEED LEED LEED!!!!#thank u for being s pussy chilchuck mouse man so she could yell at you #okay u wermnt being a pussy you just watn your friends to be okay i get it #i think its funny to call you a pussy #and mosue man #im sorry your're divorced i get it #this istn about YOU this is about LEED #LEED ORC LEADER #LEEEDDDD #GOD SHES SO COOL #AND AWESOME AND GREAT #yesterday i played dnd for the first time #and i got bonked in the head with a stone club #and now id like to imagine that was her she did that #wow #shes so cool #and shes really cute too awww awww #wonderful girl everyonme should love her #gonna be honest i wish she had eaten all of them #i support and encourage and endorse and urge women to eat people #leed dungeon meshi #leed delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers

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rendevok · 1 year ago

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“Take my hand” pages 12-15

1 - 2 - day 3 - 💙free day❤️ - 4

#nmweek23 #narumitsu #wrightworth #they’re so in love in this it makes my stomach turn because OOHHHHH MY GOODDDDDDDDD #I WANT. WHAT THEY HAVE! WHEN WILL IT BE ME #SMOOCHES #YALL SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS COMIN FROM ME #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #aa #fan art #fan comic #past me wrote this comic like YEAH IM GONNA PUT IN ALL THESE THINGS I LIKE #and now im like [sets myself on fire] [sets myself on fire] [sets myself on fi #I’M SO EMBARRASSSSEEEDDDDDDDDD how the hell do any of you share your work i literally feel like im cutting out my heart for you #my two favorite panels are the 4th one on page 12 and the 3rd one on page 15…. framing them #i hope i was able to make it worth the wait! everyone’s support has meant so much to me as i worked :’^)#rendevok #please imagine them making out from now until the time it takes me to share the next part bc that is what they will be doing in my head

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thelonelywhale · 7 months ago

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No you don't understand how important it is to me that Caleb and Essek have this soft, deep, profound love for each other. These two people who were so broken and saw themselves as so damaged and irredeemable and utterly damned, having the chance to heal together and cultivate this sweet, gentle relationship with each other. The fact that they can now carve out moments of joy together, that they proved you can change and better yourself, with time and effort and love.

Matt taking the time to show that even in just a few little ways, to let Essek express his love so casually and with so much reverence and care is just AUGH. That's how you do redemption arcs. He understood the assignment. That's not only respecting the players for the time they put in to creating these characters and their pathways for growth, but also saying to your players (and viewers), "it's possible. Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness."

They redeemed themselves, together.

#I can't stop thinking about it #I'm also thinking about all the gentle moments Essek had with BH too #him taking on this guiding mentorship role and seeing them for what they are and choosing to trust them and support them #THAT'S also a huge reward to your players too #that's saying “look at this character you cared so much for! look at how far they've come now! this was because of you all!”#I love love love that about ttrpgs/actual plays #critical role spoilers #critical role #cr2 #cr3 #shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #dnd #(my quarterly shipping on main is a bit early sorry)#(monthly shipping on main?)

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cozylittleartblog · 10 months ago

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also in the face of people deleting their blogs, that's another reason why you guys are supposed to reblog stuff. if somebody deletes a post, your liked version will disappear, but the reblogs remain. i'm insane about preservation and archival, every single piece of art i have ever enjoyed is reblogged on my 450k+ posts main account so if the artists leave I still have their work. i even tag things (though just with the main fandom tag) so I have years and years worth of fanworks saved that the terrible general site search will never show you.

please reblog art. not just to support the artists who make it and share their efforts, but also so you have your own copy of their works saved for yourself, and the future users of this site.

#reblog art #artist support #so basically if you dont reblog art i do not want to hear you complaining about your fav artists deleting and leaving lol #if you used this site like you were supposed to it would be at least Slightly less of an issue because you'd still have it all #save the shit you like!!! i never delete my art personally but i Want my art to be out there. just in case something happens to my blog #save my art. save everything. just dont upload it to entirely different websites like instagram cuz that makes u a prick #if your favorite artist deletes tomorrow. what evidence do you have that they were here at all?#reblog. for the love of god reblog #i lost so much great art from deviantart thanks to eclipse and the Al bullshit that i didn't save. but on tumblr i dont have to worry abt i

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cordiallyfuturedwight · 7 months ago

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