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spacerockfloater · 8 months ago

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Being a female viewer and hating Criston Cole is deranged.

I have to get this off my chest. The blind hatred that Criston is receiving from women is insane and I’m going to explain why.

For context, I am talking about Show Criston, not Book Criston. Comparing two standalone versions of a story is silly.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many women, who are the primary victims of utilitarian relationships, would ever come together and shit on Criston for enduring such a situation.

I’m sorry, but how many of you have been used by men? How many of you have been reduced to one night stands, situationships and placeholder wives? How many of you have been deemed “not good enough” to be an exclusive partner? I log into tiktok and I see NOTHING but stories of broken women who are just used for sex, money, care and whatnot by men, and then they are tossed away like worthless trash while said men continue their pursuit of the ideal woman. Being used by men just for sex and being denied the status of girlfriend, let alone wife, is probably one of the worst plagues women are experiencing in the western world because the MOMENT we were emancipated, men understood that they don’t owe us shit anymore and instead of treating us with respect, they decided to grab whatever they can and give nothing back. Do not tell me that there are women out there that are fine with this arrangement because the multiple “GWM while I tell you about the guy that was with me for 12 years and then married someone else” tell a different story, one of multiple women’s dignities being trampled by hungry men. My heart breaks for every woman (EVERY woman, cis, trans, EVERY woman) who has been called by a man she loves just for sex, for every woman whose man never wanted to be seen in public with her, for every woman who had to hear that her man is not ready for a relationship only to witness him getting engaged to another woman 2 weeks after. I hope you overcome this and become stronger and I am glad that we are finally supporting one another.

How can we then, the women who are helping other female victims rise up and speak out against this kind of abuse, push Criston down and tell him to suck it up and accept being Rhaenyra’s plaything? Have we no mercy? Are we so hungry for revenge against men that we’d want them to endure the same humiliation that we did, as if one fictional man’s suffering would bring us justice? Are we so jealous that Criston didn’t sit down and just take it like the rest of us, but instead spoke up and removed himself from that situation? Or are we so gullible that we accept what the screenwriters shove down our throats and unknowingly support the patriarchic view that if you’re being used by someone you should just accept it?

I can hear some of you arguing that “Oh, this is different because Rhaenyra is royalty!” as if being used and tossed by a powerful person somehow makes the situation any better? Would it be okay if a rich person wanted to constantly use you for sex while he keeps looking for a better woman to be by his side, just because he values his wealth and status more? Rhaenyra straight up sneered at the idea of a simple life with him. She straight up told him that HE is not worth as much as her crown. OUCH. Even though I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of being told you are not enough by your loved one, it was Rhaenyra’s right to choose what her priorities are, but WHY would he have to accept being her sidepiece? “These were different times”: does this make it any less devastating for the victim? And he was a victim because Rhaenyra still used Criston and misled him by constantly complaining about how she HATES her duties for YEARS and then luring him to break his oath. Do you think he would have still slept with her if he was aware that moments ago, Rhaenyra was begging on her knees to be fucked by Daemon and only turned to Criston because her first option was no longer available? Like, the man was contemplating having sex with her and resisted her for a good fucking while, so imagine how quickly he would have turned around and walked out that door if he had that information beforehand. You know why? Because he loved her. He loved her to the point that he broke his oath for her, the oath of a station he FOUGHT FOR IN A WAR. He shed blood and sweat and risked his life for the mere opportunity to gain that position. This was ALL he had, he came from NOTHING and he was still willing to toss it all away for Rhaenyra not once, but twice. It wasn’t just sex he wanted because we never see him have sex again after that. He became vulnerable and gave up everything that he was to be with Rhaenyra. He was willing to abandon his whole identity for her sake. Is this not what the ideal partner is? Ready to abandon everything for your shake? Everything he fought for, tooth and nail? Was he unreasonable in thinking that Rhaenyra was willing to do the same for him? Was he crazy to think that because he was ready to put everything he FOUGHT for aside for her shake, Rhaenyra would also put aside a duty she was handed and actively seem to hate for him too? Fuck no! After hearing her constant talk about how she hates her father, her duties, her refusal to wed other men, how she is trapped as a princess, how people have no idea how much it SUCKS being her, why would he not assume that she’d be willing to give it all up for him, as he’d do for her We never see Rhaenyra even TRY to be a ruler, just complain about it. Of course it would be a fucking shock to him hearing her say “Lol dude, I actually do kinda want this”.

Criston was actually the only person in the series that wanted Rhaenyra for her, not her money or crown. I’m not saying she had to follow him, it was her right to refuse him, but his willingness to lead a simple life with just her has got to mean something. And don’t give me that “he only wanted to redeem his honour by marrying her” crap, because first of all Criston nutted up and admitted everything to Alicent and was ready to face death without EVER blaming Rhaenyra for anything, and second of all, oh no, how dare a human being have ethical values and desire to live with dignity in society’s broad light rather than move in the shadows as the princess’s secret boytoy! Bad, bad Criston for feeling you have to atone for your sins. Maybe we as people have become so corrupt that we envy those who wish to walk a virtuous path in life. Or maybe y’all have become so fond of the unhinged unapologetic character trope because it feels “original” (even if it’s ridiculously overused nowadays) that you’ve actually forgotten what characters with good morals are. Like, picking your fave war criminal and rolling with them because you enjoy good drama, especially in a show that’s meant to provide entertainment, is one thing, but passionately stating that Criston had to submit to that humiliation is something else entirely.

Finally, let’s ditch the Criston being a misogynist bullshit because he had NO issue obeying Rhaenyra before their affair or Alicent. And he is ALWAYS true to himself and his values, because even after everything he endured, he did not use Alicent’s anger as an excuse to take revenge on Rhaenyra and harm her children. Criston never betrayed her, Rhaenyra used him and he walked away and he went towards the only person who seemed to spare him some sympathy and understand him and not condemn him for his crimes even if he hated himself, which is typical victim mentality. And don’t get me started on the Joffrey incident because y’all tore Cole to SHREDS for it. Joffrey had it fucking coming. You don’t go up to people’s faces, especially ones you don’t know, threaten them by telling them you know their secret, a secret that SHAMES them and burdens them to the point they’re ready to commit suicide, and all but directly call them a whore. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? They’d shake hands? Piss off. Let this be a lesson to anyone that doesn’t know how to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other people’s business. Also, mocking his suicide attempt makes my stomach turn. Just take a moment to consider all the young women who just like him, reluctantly surrendered their virginities to men only to find out they were nothing but sex dolls in their eyes, all these girls whose trust led to their secret being spread and them getting ridiculed and slut shamed for it: how many girls have taken their own lives because they found living with such a burden unbearable?

For the love of everything you hold sacred, please wake up. The narrative that you can be used by someone powerful and you have to accept it because that’s the way things are is a man’s construct. Do not let them fool you.

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hauntingofhouses · 11 months ago

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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.

So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.

DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.

Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.

But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."

In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.

When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.

So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.

Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.

And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."

But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.

He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.

*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.

Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.

Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.

Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."

This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.

Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:

"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."

(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)

Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.

Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.

But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.

Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:

"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."

At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")

The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.

That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.

By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.

Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.

But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.

"I want to be great."

This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.

NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.

First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:

Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;

Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.

These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:

Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.

Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.

Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.

Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.

Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.

In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.

Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.

(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)

And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.

Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.

As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.

Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.

With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.

Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!

Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.

Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.

Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.

And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.

Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.

Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.

While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.

Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.

Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.

By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.

It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.

Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.

The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.

Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.

But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.

Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.

(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)

Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.

In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.

Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.

And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.

This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!

AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)

Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #mizu x akemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi x taigen #blue eye samurai meta #also if you ask me PERSONALLY. based on my own analysis which you can read above. personally i'm placing my bets on option b (mizutaigen)#and this is simply bcs i think mizu deserves nice things and that includes getting dicked down and pampered and worshipped #whoops who said that #also mizu deserves to live a life where she can hand taigen's ass to him on a daily basis. ykwim.#BUT i am def open to a change of opinion regarding the mizuakemi rship as the story progresses #i just dont want the writers to reduce akemi into nothing but a love interest for mizu #the only way i can see a happy mizuakemi endgame scenario is if blue eye samurai becomes purely an angsty romance story #in which case then yes i fully endorse the akemi ending <3 #but that would probs require a whole genre overhaul? bcs currently the show is firstly an action-epic where the romance is just a subplot #but even tho i dont reeeeally want a mizuakemi endgame i still DEF want mizu & akemi to be romantically and/or sexually involved plsss <3 #like they cant have that slow-mo shot between the two of them as their first encounter and NOT DO ANYTHING W IT!!!#also i want mizu to be at LEAST a little sapphic plsplspls #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf #haydar's fandom posts #i wrote this whole thing while delirious and covid positive

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channieskies · 1 year ago

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EAT [LEE KNOW]

Pairing: Chef|Lee Know + AFAB|Reader

Genre: Smut, Drabble

Synopsis: After a successful cooking class, you book another night with the brilliant and handsome man that taught the class. Only to find out you booked the wrong Chef Lee.

A.N: Please reblog or leave a like or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. This was barely proofread, please disregard the mistakes.

Word Count: 3,000 + [~13 minute reading time]

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites. NSFW warnings are under the cut.

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings⚠️: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites. Unprotected sex [please wrap it before you tap it. This is fiction, and I control the narrative. Real life is scary, so please be safe], creampie, oral (male and female receiving), anal play, food play (please let me know if I missed any)

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Being single sucked. Especially when it comes to eating meals. That being said, single and lazy just didn't mix well. You dreaded making meals for yourself, but your pockets told you needed to. So when your friend invited you to a cooking class with the world-renowned chef Lee, you were ecstatic. The class lasted about three hours from start to finish. There was wine and food, and chef Felix was one of the most beautiful men you'd ever laid eyes on. Well, at least in your opinion, he was. Your Saturday night was almost complete. Almost. Being single really, really sucked.

By the time you left, you were tipsy, full of good food, and a little wet from your interactions with the sexy deep voiced chef. He had such a pretty smile and beautiful freckles littering his face like stars. You were completely taken by him. The rest of your weekend seemed to fly by without a hitch. So, by Monday morning, you were ready to sign up for a private lesson with the chef. Your friend told you the company she went through for the lessons and the rest was history.

The next week seemed to creep by. It usually does when you are excited for something. By the time Friday came along, you couldn't wait to get out of work and get home, practically speeding on your way there. You got ready for your lesson, took a shower, and put on a date night outfit that you had stored away since you learned long ago that the dating pool was trash. You waited patiently for eight to roll around so you could see chef Felix again.

When the buzzer rang to let you know someone wanted to come up, you quickly rushed over and rang them up. You rubbed your nervous hands on your skirt as you waited for your bell to ring. When it finally did, you inhaled a quick breath before opening the door. With a wide smile on your face, you spoke, “Hi I'm Y/n-- wait- you aren't Felix.” The smile quickly slid off your face as you examined the young man in front of you.

He had soft brown hair, downturned pouty lips that resmbled a cat, and very hard to miss bunny teeth that you noticed as he smiled. He was taller than you , though you wouldn't say he was a giant, nowhere near it, really. He had on a gray sweater with cute little geometric patterns all over it and dark denim jeans. He had a large canvas bag full of groceries in one hand while the other gripped what seemed like an apron.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” He flashed you a mischievous smirk. You could tell something more was behind it. “I’m the head chef, Minho. Chef Lee Minho. Felix is my sous chef. He took over classes while I was away in France on business. I can't promise to offer the same experience since we are two totally different chefs, with different styles. But I promise to make it worth your while.” How could you say no to that? His dazzling smile was very convincing, and it's a part of the reason you let him in. you stepped back and widened the door a little more for him to come in.

“You have a beautiful home.” Minho complimented as he took a look around your downtown apartment. It had a rustic and industrial charm to it with its exposed brick and high ceilings. It was a nice apartment, especially considering you had gotten it for dirt cheap.

“Uh.. thanks.” You clapped your hands to draw his attention away from your bare walls - your apartment desperately needed decor. But you didn't have the time to do all of that. “Shall we get to cooking?” you asked and pointed to your nearly spotless kitchen. He followed you to it and put down his bag. You both washed your hands first, and he helped you with an apron that came free of charge when you purchased a class. Once you were prepped and ready, you got started.

It started off slow. He explained the menu and told you a little about his background. He was from Korea but studied in Japan before traveling to different Asian countries to learn different cuisines. He moved back to Korea and started training under Chef Baek Jong-won, one of the most renowned chefs in Korea. Then he became head chef at one of the oldest restaurants in Seoul before opening his own restaurant that now sits at one Michelin star. “So how about we start with green curry, then stir fried glass noodles with vegetables for an entree, and coconut custard filled donuts with a frosted pineapple drizzle for dessert?”

You honestly thought all that sounded a little complicated for someone who admitted to being lazy when it came to cooking, but it also all sounded incredibly delicious. “Sounds delicious.”

He was surprisingly easy to work with. He explained why he did the things he did and helped to customize them for everyday life. He stood to the side of you, his body touching your side ever so lightly as he guided your hand. You could feel his breath on your as he concentrated on the task at hand. You tried to swallow the thoughts that plagued your mind, like how good he smelled or how nice his hand felt on top of yours. your mind even dove as deep as your imagining his pretty face between your legs.

You let out a shaky moan as your mind slowly delved deeper into the abyss. “Are you okay?” He pulled away slightly to look over your face from the side.

“Y-yeah, it just smells so good.” He smiled and let out a sigh of relief, thinking that maybe he had made you uncomfortable by being too close. To make the atmosphere a little lighter, he asked if he could play a little music in the background. You agreed, hoping the music would help you take your mind off things. He synced his phone with your Bluetooth speakers, and Club boynnd's “naturally” softly started to flow from them.

He moved back to your side and reached for the spoon, his hand landing on top of yours once again. “Want to taste?” His voice sounded so smooth as he asked. Of course, you nodded, absentmindedly pressing your thighs together. He let you taste the chocolate you'd melted. He smeared the warm chocolate across your bottom lip, and your tongue almost instantly darted out to taste it. Your eyes met as you took your bottom lip into your mouth. You tasted the slightly sweet yet bitterly sticky substance on your tongue.

“It's delicious, chef.” It was like your eyes were locked in a battle, waiting to see who would cave for the other, first.

“May I taste it too?” You nodded, unsure of what move he was going to make. With the same spoon, he dipped it back into the chocolate, smearing it on your lips once again. He searched your eyes for affirmation, and you nodded.

It was like a switch went off. The next thing you knew, you were sitting on the counter, trapped between his strong veiny arms. His lips were on your, savoring the remnants of chocolate that resided on your lips. Your arms rested on his shoulders as your fingers found refuge in his soft hair.

Your tasks had soon been forgotten about as you passionately made out in your kitchen. The song switched to Kelela’s “Blue Light”, but neither of you could hear a thing at the moment. He pulled back and took your hand in his. He isolated your index finger, making it stand alone. He dipped that finger into the chocolate and put it into his mouth. He took it on, sucking every last bit off your finger. “Delicious.”

The way he looked at you as he said it made your womanhood ache with need. He pulled you down off the counter, turning you around, fingers moving up your back, signaling for you to bend over. He moved back briefly to turn off the burners on the stove. The last thing he wanted to do was burn down your kitchen. He was back behind you in no time, his pelvis pressing against your ass as he leaned forward. “I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy eating just as much as I enjoy cooking.” He let out a short, humorous, puff of air.

With that said, he pressed his lips to your slightly exposed neck, nipping that skin and leaving tiny marks. First, it was the apron, the strings untied, the fabric falling right to the floor. His fingers trailed under your shirt, pushing the fabric up. He wanted it off, and you took the hint, pulling the clothing up and off, tossing it on the floor. He trailed kisses down your back, letting his agile fingers work on removing your bra. The straps fell, but with your arms on the counter, the bra partially stayed in place. Next was your skirt, which he didn't bother unzipping.

He rolled your tight skirt down under your ass, relishing in the sight and his recent accomplishment. He licked his lips, his hands rolling over your skin. He tugged your panties and your skirt all the way down and crouched down behind your. “Wow..” You looked back to see what he was doing, only to feel his warm hand spreading your cheeks. “Fuck… I can't wait to taste you.” And that he did. He leaned in and bit your ass softly, not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough to mark your gasp at his actions. His tongue traced the indents his teeth left before you pressed a chaste kiss to it. His breath was hot on your entrance as he moved his attention to your waiting pussy. “I guess someone is a little turned on.”

You chuckled lightly at his accusation. “Says the one who was all in my personal bubble. It's hard not to feel something when a man as sexy as yourself is that close.” You admitted not knowing what had come over your. Nothing was said on his end as he dug into his meal. He dipped his tongue into your entrance just to pull it back, a trail of your wetness following the pink muscle. He wanted to just taste your first. His tongue slipped back in his mouth, and he grunted.

“You taste amazing.” He went back for a second helping trailing his tongue from your clit all the way to your asshole and back again. you lived alone, there was no need for you to conceal the way he was making you feel. Your voice bounced off the open walls of your kitchen and living area, mingling with the music. He pulled away just before you came, much to your disappointment.

“Maybe I should make things a little sweeter. Turn around for me.” You almost questioned what he meant by that only to remember this was a kitchen, and he was a chef. This was his playground. He stood to his feet and grabbed the spoon for the chocolate, raking a hefty amount into it and smearing it over your breast and down your stomach.

Next came the cinnamon sugar that he carefully sprinkled over it. He stood back, admiring his work before nodding at the final project. “Now all that's left to do is eat.” He smirked as he moved closer, his body trapping you against the counter again. He left kisses from your mouth to your chest, where he started to lick the chocolate, cinnamon-sugar from your skin. He sucked on your nipples making sure not a bit of the sugary concoction was left.

He nibbled and licked his way down your stomach until he was face to face with your womanhood. He lifted your leg and put it over his shoulder before his face was back between your legs, helping you to reach the orgasm you missed out on before. Your fingers were tangled in his brown hair, tugging on the tresses hard as you came. Your legs shook and almost gave out, but thanks to his grip on your thigh and the counter, you stayed in place. “I could eat out every day with you.” He said as he pulled away, his mouth a glistening mess from his meal. He put your leg down and guided you down to the floor where he was.

He moved in for a sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself on his lips. He pulled away to discard his apron and his almost suffocatingly hot sweater. You were presently surprised by how well built he was. With his apparent affinity for sweets and the handsome yet cat-like face he sported, you didn't expect him to look like that at all under all that clothing. Even the scar on his stomach was something to be admired. He noticed you staring, so he lifted your chin with his index finger. “Enjoying the view?” You bit down on your bottom lip and nodded. you were thirsty and would willingly admit it.

“Let's not stare too long, I still have things I want to do to you.” Your heart was racing from his words. “Would you like a taste before I start the next course?” He tilted his head down and looked at you through his damp bangs. It was hot in the kitchen even with the burners off.

You pretended to think about it, already knowing your answer. “I'd love to taste,” he grabbed the bowl from the counter while still on his knees.

“Have at it.'' You weren't a skilled chef, but you are good with your mouth. Before you even touched the chocolate, you made sure his pants and boxers were discarded.

It was your turn to be in awe once again. How were you this blessed to have a man ready to fuck you, who not only had a gifted tongue but a gorgeous cock as well? You wasted no time. The angry veins and the fact that his member was at attention for you made you even more eager to have him in your mouth. You dipped your fingers in the chocolate and painted a few stripes on the shaft of his cock before licking it off and taking him into your mouth. His hand rested on the patch of hair right above your neck as he gently guided your head up and down his length.

You were amazing. It took every bit of him not to cum in your mouth. Your hands worked on his balls for added pleasure, your tongue twisted around the tip every time you pulled back. His eyes were rolled back, it was his turn to groan along with the music. You pulled away, a hand twisting around the shaft of his member. “Cum for me.” you stuck out your tongue, rubbing the underside of his tip over your wet muscle. His eyes closed, his hand gripping the back of your head as he released into your mouth. you let the liquid dripped from your tongue and down your chin. You only managed to get a little of it down.

“Fuck..” He was spent but his stamina was no joke at all. Plus he was enjoying how sexy you looked under the overhead potlights. your skin glistened with sweat and he could smell your sex as he still had spots of your wetness on his face. “How does it taste?” Your tongue darted out to lick up the mess on your chin and he used his thumb to rake up what was left. You sucked on his thumb, letting it go with a pop.

“I need to be inside you now. Like, right now.” He stood and helped you up. He bent you over the counter once more. To him, you were so fucking sexy it wasn't hard for him to get hard again, seeing that he was already semi-erect. He fluffed himself, his eyes transfixed on the view of your ass and glistening pussy on display. You were bent over just waiting for him to completely devour you.

That alone was enough to get himself hard again. Lifting one leg and letting it rest on the surface. He slid in your wet entrance, your walls wrapping around his member, squeezing it. He gripped your ass cheeks as he slowly started to pound into you, not even concerned if you adjusted to him or not. His member slid in and out of your creamy wetness as you screamed his name over and over. You loved how he filled you up. You couldn't get enough of how good he felt.

Sweat beads rolled down his cheeks. It felt like a sauna in the kitchen, even if it was an open space. But that didn't deter him at all. He had a goal in mind. He wanted to see his cum drip from your cunt. Just the thought causes his member to twitch inside of you. One hand wrapped around your throat as the of his thumb readied to slide into your asshole. He let spit drip from his mouth and used it as a lubricant. He rubbed his thumb over the hole before sliding it in and bending it as he fucked your. You choked out a moan.

So, that was the kind of man he was? Your eyes rolled back as he pulled his thumb out to slide it right back in. You knew you wanted to fuck Chef Lee, you just weren't expecting it to be a completely different one from the other night. But you weren't complaining. The gorgeous man who was currently drilling you into oblivion was perfectly fine to you.

His fingers tapped on your throat, “Cum for me, Y/n. Cum on this dick so I can cum inside of you.” You let out a euphoric sigh, your hand gripping at his wrist. your walls convulsed, squeezing and hugging his cock as you came for him like he asked. He grunted feeling just how tight you had gotten. His thumb slipped in a little more as his pace picked up. your leg shook, his pace sending you straight towards the edge of your third orgasm.

He snapped his hips into you a few more times before his seed glazed your walls as if they were the dessert he described earlier in the evening. He pushed in before pulling back. He pulled his thumb out of your ass, watching it slowly go back to its original tight ‘o’. He spread your cheeks and looked at the white substance that peeked out of your hole. Satisfied with his work, he took a seat on the floor as you slid to your knees, still gripping the counter. His cum slid out your cunt due to the awkward position you were sitting in, which caused him to chuckle.

“Looks like we have a mess to clean up.” He said speaking of the disaster zone your kitchen had become. There was chocolate on your rugs and smeared on the cabinets and cum and spit on the floor in multiple spots from your messy blowjob and his cream pie. There was a buzzing noise as your little robot vacuum made its way into the kitchen for its scheduled cleaning. There was silence between you both as you watched it work before they burst out laughing. This was a cooking lesson neither of you would forget.

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A.N: Please leave a like or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.

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[Rewrites, Reposts, and Translations are Prohibited]

#lee know smut #lee know × reader #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you #lee know x female reader #neverendingdreams #lee minho smut #lee minho skz #lee minho x reader #kpop smut #reader insert #skz au #lee know au #skz smut #☁️ ✍️#channieskies writes #stray kids x reader

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arcadiabaytornado · 1 year ago

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To be honest with you, Rachel’s death continues to haunt me after all of these years. It may sound silly since she’s a video game character, but she was one of my favorite life is strange characters next to Max, Dana, and Kate. It could be due to the matter of her murder, as well as her being so young, and not being able to achieve her goals of leaving Arcadia Bay.

Am I crazy for feeling this way?

No, you're right, because EVERYTHING about Rachel's death is tragic.

A: She never got to escape Arcadia Bay. All she wanted was a chance to escape her small town and make it LA, but she never got there.

B: She was so ambitious. She wanted to do so much with her life and she was so confident she could do it all. The fact that she never even had a chance is devastating.

C: She was only eighteen. I'm 20 years old and I've changed so much from who I was two years ago, the person I was at eighteen doesn't exist anymore. Rachel never had this chance to look back at who she was at eighteen and only find a ghost looking back.

D: She was photographed by her teacher who groomed her, and then was murdered using drugs from a man who has been implied to be interested in her when she was fifteen and he was in his thirties. She couldn't escape being victimized by these men even in her death.

More Undercut

E: IF (and that's a big if) we believe what Mark tells Max, then Rachel was never even meant to die in the dark room. Nathan overdosed her on accident. She could have lived.

F: She never got to say goodbye to Chloe. Or Steph. Or Mikey. Or anyone who cared about her.

G: She likely didn't find peace in death, because it's implied that she comes back as a ghost deer. And while she does fade away once her body is found, she was still not at rest for six months.

H: The girl who loved the spot light was thrown away like trash and no one could find her for six months. The curtains were called and she didn't get that final bow.

So you consider all of that and her death is one of the most tragic in fiction. I don't even know how they could make Rachel's death worse because every aspect of what happened to her just seeps with tragedy.

#life is strange #lis #rachel amber #asks

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lovemyromance · 5 months ago

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ok what the hell since when did we start caring more about MEN in a book than women???

What happened to "I support women's rights AND wrongs 😤"??

I thought we all collectively wanted to see the MEN grovel??

Why tf should a woman have to grovel (ever) but now grovel for a man she doesn't even want??

Tf?

There's a different between being a normal, rational person irl vs reading a romance book written by a woman for other women. Like, ofc I treat men respectfully and I have men I care about in my life that I want the best for. For example, If someone broke my little brothers heart or something, I'd hate that person! It's on sight!

But in a romance novel?? Nah, all bets are off, I'm always siding with the women.

Idk maybe I missed the memo when we suddenly started babying fictional men and liking them more than the FMC??

Trust me babygirl, Lucien & Azriel do not need you to fight for them 🤡🤡 They're fine.

And you know what? Even if they're your absolute favorite character - that's fine! But to like them SO much that you're trashing other women?? Be so fr rn. These are fictional men. They're not gonna hear you defending them with your life 🙄 they're not gonna be like:

Lucien: thank you my love, for neglecting the will and actions and explicit words of Elain saying "she doesn't want me" and calling her stupid and boring and undeserving of me. I love you for that. Now let's fuck?

Azriel: thank you for calling Elain annoying and a cheating home wrecker. You are so right, I only just wanted her for sex. Now I'm gonna go fuck Gwyn, because she reminds me of you??

Like?? Idk what y'all are expecting.

#elriel #elain x azriel #antielucien #antigwynriel

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 5 months ago

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Can you do where Y/N and Johnny are in a secret relationship, but Ryan is yn's brother, and he fines about her and Johnny relationship,

And ryan is so mad at Johnny because he thinks Johnny will take advantage of you.

If you're comfortable with writing 🤗🙂

Impulse

It was all whirlwind- first that party, now Y/N ran into her brother’s hot friend, Johnny, on a daily basis. But she saw something in him, and in Ryan’s eyes that’s the worst part of it all.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

2.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, alcohol, parties, overprotectiveness, unplanned pregnancies, lying, flirting, making out, bribes

An: Thank you so much for this request! While doing research for this fic I finished reading Serious as Dog Dirt and went down an unrelated rabbit hole of transgressive fiction, so I’m sure the prose of this fic is some horrible mixture of Bam and Kerouac XD Anyways, thank you for sending in all of those requests and please keep them coming!! Fun fact, tomorrow marks my one year anniversary of writing Jackass fics! 200 followers later, I just want to thank you all for all the friends I’ve made and the love I’ve received from this community :)

This whole mess started when you ran into him at a party your brother dragged you to. “Cmon, Y/N- you never get out. It’ll be fun, I promise!” The house parties Ryan frequented weren’t really your scene, so in your mind you didn’t see the use in showing up to some release party for that skate video he made with his dipshit friends because it’s probably the same bag. But he could drive a pretty convincing bargain when he wanted to and you eventually gave in, deciding to tag along (albeit half willingly).

That’s where you were introduced to him- one of Ryan’s friends: sweet, charming, polite in a way you only see in men from the south and with this accent that seemed to slip out after a few drinks. Fuck, he even called you ma’am. Nothing like the Philly-trash assholes who only want to hump and ditch that you thought you'd be running into. For that night, it seemed your whole world revolved around this handsome stranger. but by the next morning, he was long gone, and all that was left was this longing for something you thought you would never see again.

But, as you’d come to find out, that video Ryan was in became bigger than you expected. In fact, MTV wanted him on this new show of thier’s called Jackass- mainly due to his friend, Bam, who you only really knew as the guy who came by from time to time and who seemed hellbent on fucking with you. That meant there would be filming in Westchester, and as you would come to find out, that hot stranger happened to be the leader of the merry gang of weirdos that your brother introduced you to. And to think, you were sure that by this point you would be over him…now, it seemed the bug was on you again, and that bug’s name was Johnny Knoxville.

Part of you was kind of curious when it came to how the whole tv thing would work, so you started tagging along with Ryan while they filmed under the flimsy guise of seeing how the sausage was made. Even though, at the party, he was both aware of and cool with whatever was going on between you and his buddy, Ryan was also pretty damn wasted at the time, and after a lifetime of living with him you knew he may not be as welcoming with one of his bros hitting on his sister. You had to be slick about this.

Knoxville knew this too, waiting until most of the guys were busy with the cameras and setting up whatever stunt they were working on to step off to where you were waiting on the side and start chatting you up. “Y’know, I never caught your name, ma’am.” Your heart jumped a bit, kind of shocked that he recognized or remembered you in the first place, but you played it cool. “It's Y/N. You're Johnny, right?” Of course you knew who he was, but it was the first thing that came to mind, okay? Well, that blush that was creeping onto your cheeks and the tips of your ears kinda gave it away you weren't really as nonchalant as you let on. The amused grin that crept onto his face let it slip that not only did Knoxville notice your skittishness- he liked it. He chuckled, glancing you up and down with this amused little spark in his eye, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Y’know, ever since that premier, I was kinda hoping I’d run into you again.” He glanced towards you over the tops of his sunglasses. God, those glasses- they really aided to the hot, mysterious stranger thing he had going on. “I was gettin’ pretty hot that night, and the only thing I can really recall was running into you.” In your eyes, Johnny was probably the one guy in the world that could use cliches and cheesy pick up lines like that and not sound like a total moron.

Fuck it, you thought. Fate was giving you a second chance and you were going to take it! “Maybe we could get dinner some time? Uh- together, I mean.” The auditable tension in your voice gave away how much mental psyching yourself up that simple act took, and you knew it once the words came tumbling out of your mouth. In contrast, this whole situation was getting more and more entertaining in his eyes. Johnny took this distinct pleasure in throwing you off your game, and maybe that’s what drew you towards him so much. I mean, you’d seen him on Jackass- it’s not a surprise that the guy who goes prancing through LA with a strap-on under his basketball shorts enjoys making people just a bit uncomfortable. Knowing his influence on the situation, he couldn’t help himself, “That sounds great! How does tonight sound?”

Johnny wasn’t at the bar, and that was the only thing that tipped any of the guys off to the fact something was amiss. “Seriously- he couldn’t come have drinks with us?” Ryan said what everyone else was thinking. Well, everyone except Steve, who was the one person Johnny had confided in the fact he was taking one of their friends’ sisters out to dinner, because you don’t tell just anyone that kind of thing. It's not like he was gonna go out there and rat on his best bro like that, so the only option he had was to run cover for him,“I mean- maybe he isn’t feeling good? Knoxville took some pretty hard hits today…” He was a piss poor liar, and if it wasn’t for the fact the rest of the crew was half shitfaced, they probably would’ve called bullshit. But the guys seemed satisfied with that explanation, going on discussing the stunts of the day and not noticing the sigh of relief for Steve once the conversation topic changed.

So, as always, the bar crawl began, and guess where the guys happened to show up next? Yep, just your luck. Sure the restaurant Johnny invited you out to had a bar, but you didn’t think people would go there for the express purpose of getting drunk. See, you thought through this, but clearly not well enough. Peering around the crowd, Bam squinted a little through drunk goggles to try and get a better look at two oddly familiar people sitting at a table. “Hey, Ry. Isn’t that Knoxville and your sister over there?” Ryan’s neck should’ve broken with how fast he turned around to where Bam was pointing who, speaking of, found this whole situation hilarious, “Dude- it is! We gotta go fuck with ‘em- c’mon.” Well, he didn’t need any more convincing- your brother was already storming over to the table, but you didn’t even notice the two were there in the first place until Ryan spoke up with forced nonchalance, “Hey, what’s goin’ on with you guys?” In contrast to your immediate panic, Johnny seemed so relaxed compared to you as you stammered out a response, “Oh! We were just, uh- I was out, and I just ran into Knoxville!”

“Since when do you go to the bar by yourself?” Finding this whole situation purely hilarious, Bam leaned to your brother with this shit eating grin, “I think they’re on a date.” Ryan scoffed disbelievingly, “No fucking way-“ The tension seemed to thicken as he turned back to you and Johnny, who was getting more and more smug about all of this, “No, no- you two are not on a date. Screw this-“ And your brother abruptly up and left with his little cronie trailing behind, snickering and leaving Steve as the child of this divorce. “Should I, uh- should I go?” While you were still trying to mentally work out what the hell just happened, Johnny turned to him, still not taking any of this seriously, “You into threesomes?” Before Steve could actually consider it, he replied for him, “Yeah, I think you should go.”

This is the kinda thing that makes a guy sick. Ryan knew he had to bring it up to you sometime, so he gave you a call the next day while he was off filming while you decided to stay home even though you had time off work because of obvious reasons. “We need to talk about Knoxville- about you and Knoxville.” Your heart stopped for a second. I mean, what you really wanted to say was that you were a grown woman who could manage your love life very well on your own, but he sounded like he was really concerned for you, so you shut up. “I know these guys better than anyone and I’m just- I’m trying to look out for you here.”

Even though this whole conversation was happening over the phone, you could practically see the mix of frustration and concern on Ryan’s face as he spoke. He didn’t want to see you get hurt. Sure, none of them were exactly known for their stable lifestyles, but Johnny sweet. He was charming and made you laugh, so maybe that was enough for you to ignore a few red flags. You wouldn’t say that to him, though. “I get it, Ry. I’ll be careful, just- let me give him a chance, okay? It’ll be fine.” There was something about the earnestness in your voice that made your brother bite back his nerves and decide that he would have to try something else. “Alright. But he even breathes wrong in your direction and I’ll kill him.”

When the guys took a break in the middle of the day while filming, Ryan got a chance to pull Johnny aside and confront him about all of this, “Hey, man- what’s goin’ on with you and Y/N?” He didn’t want to hear that you were going out because no guy wants to hear that kinda thing. Johnny took a seat in one of the lawn chairs they had set up outside as he told his side of the story, “All I did was take her out to dinner. That’s it!” That was the same explanation you gave him when he grilled you on this- it was only a dinner.

“But it’s never just dinner. C’mon-“ Ryan was never a staunch believer in whatever the ‘bro code’ was, but he knew there was something in there regarding it being frowned upon to date and or be fucking your friends’ sisters. “It's weird, and you know it!” The rest of the cast had been pretending not to be secretly listening in on all this drama since the beginning, but with the way things were heating, it was harder to do it on the sly. But neither of the men involved noticed or really gave a shit about the gawking at this point. Johnny reached into the slushy cooler and grabbed himself something to drink, “Listen, I’m not sure what you’re gettin’ so upset over- I didn’t do anything with her.” Cracking open a can, he looked up at Ryan over his sunglasses and added for the express purpose of being an ass to him, “Not yet.”

After that, you and Johnny kept seeing each other in secret. It was like you were a pair of teenagers sneaking around together- all you were missing was a pair of bleachers to make out under. You had to, given the fact he was only in town for a couple weeks. There was a thrill to it, trying to avoid the other guys by slipping behind cars while you were pretty sure nobody was watching (except that one time with Bam, that sneaky little shit- you had to pay him off to promise not to tell on you) or having quickies in bathroom stalls. I mean, you had to make the most of your time together, right?

If you didn’t think your brother would actually follow through on that death threat he made earlier when you told him you were interested in one of his friends, you certainly did now that you told him you got pregnant from one of them. “Seriously? Like, actually Y/N?” Ryan’s voice was a muddled mess of emotions after you broke the news, but he pulled himself together, “Alright…who fucking was it?” Swallowing, you got an idea on how you could make sure Johnny would be keeping his head on his shoulder after you hung up the phone. You needed to phrase this carefully. “Uh, it’s PJ’s.” PJ, PJ…holy shit that’s Knoxville. Given the fact he usually referred to him by his stage name, it took Ryan a second to connect the dots.

You didn’t tell Johnny- you hadn’t decided what you wanted to do yet, and even though you really, really liked him, you weren’t sure how the hell he would react to finding out one of his hookups got pregnant, but you knew eventually you would have to come clean to him. Ryan wanted to ask how the hell all of this happened since Johnny left Westchester for LA months ago, but he didn’t wanna think about how that happened because he knew fully well himself and didn’t wanna have to hear it from you, much less imagine the two of you screwing. Fuck. He needed a drink…

#jackass #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #bam margera #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #angst #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader

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acethetically-bway · 1 month ago

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recently joined the lesbian fiona bandwagon and now i need to express my hcs & analysis on debbie/fiona realizing they’re lesbians:

debbie secretly prints out the lesbian masterdoc when she first starts to struggle with having/finding a bf. she skims it and brushes it off (bc comphet/repression), shoving the pages between her mattress and boxspring so no one can dig them out of the trash and interrogate her. she forgets about them for years and just continues to try to fit in with other girls and gets pregnant and has franny. and franny is her everything and she thought maybe franny could fix her and make her appreciate and love a man for giving franny to her but oh fuck there’s still something missing.

so later on when she’s older and genuinely having an identity crisis, one day she takes the sheets off her bed to wash them and she finds the old crumply lesbian masterdoc pages peeking out. she steals one of ian’s blankets from his bed (bc he’s in jail and she wishes more than anything he could talk her through all this but at the same time knows he wouldn’t ever fully understand. but at least he’s here in spirit). and she reads that shit cover to cover under her blanket with a flashlight and makes the most scribbled manic nonsensical annotations all over the pages to the point where the paper is made of more pen strokes than original text. she rereads the doc every night until she falls asleep for a week straight. she puts herself in every hypothetical situation, conjures up random male fictional characters/celebrities to deny the truth, looks over at her baby and feels the worst kind of guilt that she doesn’t know how to love the 50% of her own kid that came from a man. and then she falls in love with a girl for the first time, like REALLY in love, and all that doubt and anxiety just disappears and it’s them and franny against the world and nothing could make her happier.

okay and then fiona is a whole different ballpark. she doesn’t have the time or energy for such insane levels of self-discovery. she’s so focused on her kids that thinking about who she loves is like the furthest thing from her mind. she knows she *can* be happy with a man, she knows that she enjoys sex with men in theory, she doesn’t see any other option for herself besides what she’s been doing, going through the motions. i imagine younger/teenage fiona inherited her parents’ fucked up ideas and perceptions about sex and relationships and so the bar for her is literally on the floor. she’s perfectly fine just engaging in meaningless sex and impulsive relationships that end sooner than they begin and throwing herself and her worth away to keep the men in her life happy. these relationships come to her naturally because she’s been doing this for so long, likely since middle/high school. she doesn’t care if the guy is objectively bad for her or if she fucks him every night or if she marries him after only knowing him for a week because none of it really holds any weight to her. she dates guys who can provide for their kids because it doesn’t matter if they’re good for her as long as her kids are happy. to her, relationships with men are just standard practice. it’s not so much about genuinely being in love, it’s about the benefits and the recklessness and the constant need to throw herself into chaos lest she feel completely useless.

and then along the way she meets jasmine and angela and nessa (and probably others too). and whoa boy everything gets flipped on its fucking head. she finally starts to understand what people mean when they say their S/O or crushes give them actual butterflies in their stomachs. she gets excited imagining herself being intimate with them. it’s not some chore or some ritual/routine that just exists for the sake of feeling connected, it’s an *actual* connection. it’s confusing as fuck because it’s not like she’s actually ever been with a girl before so she doesn’t understand what about it makes her feel so giddy, but the feeling doesn’t go away. the way she interacts with these women she barely knows is SO different than the guys she dates and sleeps with and even marries because these women have such fresh perspectives and raw energy that excites her. they care about her in a genuine sort of way, they’re tender and gentle but also loud and bold and confident all at once and it’s the actual coolest thing.

her biggest struggles come with the fact that she’s realizing her sexuality relatively late in life. she feels repulsed by identifying as a lesbian because of the whole “gold star” rhetoric, and because what nearly 30-year-old dates and sleeps with and marries dozens of men since they were a teenager and then suddenly goes “mm actually i’m gay”? it’s all so pointless to her and it doesn’t compute in her brain that there’s more than one way to be a lesbian. and i think debbie coming out first would help her with this; even though she dismisses it (because deep down she’s projecting her own experiences and beliefs about sexuality onto debbie), she realizes that damn, her kid sister is way happier than she’s ever seen her with any of those other losers. so when fi leaves for florida, she figures it’s the perfect time to reinvent herself and start fresh. no strings attached, no ghosts of past relationships haunting her. she’s free to be with whoever she wants and no one has to know anything else beyond her present self. (although moving to florida as a newly discovered lesbian is definitely a choice given everything that goes on there relating to LGBTQ+ issues, but it’s something new for her at least. tbh i imagine she only stays in florida for like a year or two max, makes some money, gets a gf, and moves with her to somewhere else much more tolerant and vibrant and similar but not identical to home).

#i could honestly say sm more about this for both of them #as a lesbian who’s gone/is going through comphet idk how i didn’t make the fiona connections sooner #mourning the scrapped fiona lesbian storyline every day #shameless meta #shameless #shamelessus #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #lesbian #lesbian fiona gallagher #lesbian debbie gallagher #character analysis #headcanons

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