#lostsometime

[critter-genfic-events]

This week, we have eleven fics that feature everyone’s favorite leetol blue tiefling, Jester Lavorre!  Check them out beneath the cut, and as always, comment or kudos if you like them!

they said i could let this bridge wash out by lostsometime (1503,General) Warnings: Mentions of canon slave trade Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, One-Sided Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & The Traveler, The Gentleman | Babenon Dosal & Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss

Beau checks in on Jester. Jester explains why she acts like she does.

Reccer says: This fic phrases the parts of Jester I adore the most: her flavors of compassion, stubbornness, and wisdom. She's not as naive as first impressions might indicate. She is a well of complexity. This fic demonstrates these aspects of her concisely and straightforwardly through Beau's POV.

pickup service available by renquise (2062,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss

Artagan picks up Essek for Jester

Reccer says: Hilarious, and Artagan and Essek interacting is just chef's kiss

where kindness shines by dawl_and_dapple (2703,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss

Jester and Essek have a conversation about jewellery in the frozen North.

Reccer says: pitch perfect Jester and Essek friendship talks

God is a Weasel (Or, How an Archfey Made a Friend) by bluehat (2881,General) Warnings: Pairings: Artagan & Jester Lavorre

Artagan's POV of why he became Jester's weasel

Reccer says: I liked it

midnight-dark, nightsky-blue by vietbluecoeur (vietbluefic) (4562,Teen) Warnings: Major Character Death, Attempted Murder, death in childbirth Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss

A Snow White retelling of Kryn princess Jester and her begrudging friend the Shadowhand

Reccer says: This! Fic! Is! Gorgeous! Jester is adorable and witty and Essek is as sharp as ever.

may your princes understand you (may your wolves get out alive) by grayintogreen (6427,Teen) Warnings: mild dubcon Pairings: Artagan & Jester Lavorre

Jester's first trip to the Feywild does not go as planned.

Reccer says: Great fey trickery and friendship between Artagan and Jester

The Purest Priorities by wtgw (4133,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Artagan & Jester Lavorre

Lord Artagan of the Morncrown meets a delightful little creature and feels himself start to become something different.

Reccer says: Great Artagan voice and dealing with how Jester changes him

From the Mixed-Up Files of The J. Lavorre Catalogue Raisonné by renquise (2328,General) Warnings: None Pairings:

jester's art and life from the perspective of scholars, particularly art scholars, long after she lived!

Reccer says: this fic uses format in such a clever and playful way, and the feeling of knowing the context behind all the painting and art details that the scholars in the fic don't have makes you feel like you're in on something. the author pulls out really fun details that tell a story in their own right. i constantly come back to this!

Strange Happenings in the Waters of Bisaft by HurtComfortInSpace (2125,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Jester Lavorre & The Mighty Nein

This story immediately follows the end of episode 45: The Stowaway. Jester can't sleep after her narrow escape from the blue dragon and finds herself on deck. But even out of the Happy Fun Ball, it's far from safe to be alone.

Reccer says: A very interesting look into what Jester's headspace might have been like after episode 45, everything from worry to loneliness to panic. Plus, there's a mermaid for mermay! What could be better than that? :)

how many miles to babylon? by grayintogreen (5260,General) Warnings: AU - Canon Divergence Pairings: Jester & Artagan

Jester must complete the Moonweaver’s challenge before her candle burns out to save Artagan.

Reccer says: Fey shenanigans are always fun.

A Wisdom Without Face or Name by violettressed (17280,Teen) Warnings: Lifespan angst, major character death Pairings: Jester/Fjord, Jester & Essek, Jester & Caduceus, Jester & Artagan

Jester Lavorre spends a lifetime learning how to let go.

Reccer says: Beautiful and bittersweet

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics with Jester Lavorre!

Then, it'll be Cooking, Time/Dimension Travel, and then Storytelling!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

Oh! Also! Critter Gen Week is happening! Prompts will be announced soon, and you might see some familiar themes ;)

And hey, if you're looking for some more good gen content, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[untamedmetablogiguess]

I recorded a podfic of this story by @dangerouscommiesubversive, if anyone's interested. It's a wonderful story, I very much recommend it! If podfics aren't your thing, you can read it here.

[idk-my-aesthetic]

@lostsometime 65 is the aprox age humans go through menopause so I assume it has something to do with that? Then again that’s just a guess I might be completely wrong

Attn: People With Cervixes!

When was your last Pap smear?

Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven't seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I'm making my own.

1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD

Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early--like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.

2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?

Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it's basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears--developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.

3. HOW DO PAP SMEARS SAVE YOUR LIFE?

A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!

4. WHAT ABOUT THAT VACCINE?

The thing my dad said I shouldn't get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It's recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it's now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.

5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN

Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!

6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?

Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you're 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).

7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE

Nice! You still need Pap smears.

8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I'M SCARED OF THE EXAM

Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.

9. BUT I DON'T HAVE/CAN'T SEE A GYN

Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!

10. BUT I'M A LESBIAN

HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.

11. BUT I'M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL

You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.

12. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER MAN

If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.

13. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN

Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.

14. BUT I'M A CIS-GENDERED MAN

Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.

In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.

DON'T FEAR THE SMEAR

[hellowhyareyouhere]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: One Piece (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Coby & Monkey D. Luffy, Coby/Helmeppo (One Piece), Coby & Helmeppo & Monkey D. Garp Characters: Coby (One Piece), Helmeppo (One Piece), Monkey D. Garp, Monkey D. Luffy, Portgas D. Ace Additional Tags: Portgas D. Ace Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Marineford Events, POV Coby (One Piece), POV Monkey D. Garp, Marines (One Piece) - Freeform, Internal Conflict, (a little), Moral Dilemmas, Shirohige Kaizoku-dan | Whitebeard Pirates, koby/helmeppo isn't the main point you can read them as platonic besties, this is primarily an ace lives fic even if there's remarkably little ace, Fix-It, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Fic by Cherry_Sundae on AO3, @thousand-sunnies on tumblr, fun fact: the original story is almost exactly ten thousand words, and my reading of it is almost exactly one hour long, so i now know exactly how many words per minute i can read! Series: Part 1 of Lostsometime's Podfics Summary:

A podfic of the story "A Lesson in Changing the World," by Cherry_Sundae. Original summary reads:

“The execution isn’t about Whitebeard,” Koby blurts out before he can talk himself out of it.

He resists the urge to squeeze his eyes shut, but all he gets for his efforts is a neatly raised eyebrow. Not that the skepticism in Helmeppo’s expression is entirely unwarranted – all anyone around them has talked about in the past week has been A War With Whitebeard – but it still makes him squirm. It’s still technically a secret, and he still hasn’t technically told, so he can bite his tongue now and try to fall asleep. But they’re going to fight a war in the morning, and no matter how it ends, Koby doubts that by the time the dust settles this will still matter.

Koby wants it to matter.

“Portgas D. Ace,” Koby forces himself to say, his heart in his throat and someone else’s secret bitter on his tongue, “is Gold Roger’s son.”

[scitechpoetry]

Cooking

A flight you may charterLiving like a king and causing great banterThere is more joy to be foundCooking from a well stocked larder The rich aroma of spices finely groundDifferent utensils purpose built for varietyWhat’s cooking?, you sayA delicacy in every way, I say Sometimes the only memory of cultures lostSometimes the only skill passed on to the next generationSometimes a great way to spend…

[asofteradventurezone]

Is that what you’re wearing? 

[brazilspill]

Me, a Latina:

@cordeliaflyte, @lostsometime, & @tolkien-feels I'm about to blow your minds. You ready for this?

...You could just, like, use the Latino naming system?

Just, like, give 'em one surname from each parent.

No, not hyphenated. I'm not sure why y'all are so insistent on having only one surname.

Two surnames is so much better! It honours both parents, makes it easier to follow family lineages, and allows the person to choose what name combination they prefer.

How it works:

1. Name your baby 1-2 names (e.g. My name is simply Alice, but my dad is Mário Lúcio; you can also hyphenate two names into one, such as Marie-Hélène)

2. Pick one of your surnames to pass on to the baby & your partner does the same with theirs*.

For example:

Your surnames are Lewis and Jones and your partner's are Lee and Smith.

Let's say you name your kid Sophia.

You then mix and match the names and decide on Sophia Jones Lee.

=-=-=

Some countries order the surnames with the mom's coming first and then the dad's and in other countries it's the opposite, but which comes first is ultimately irrelevant because the person can pick and choose which name to go with (e.g. Your hypothetical daughter could sign her name as Sophia Jones, Sophia Lee, or Sophia Jones Lee and they're all legally her name).

=-=-=

*Things people commonly consider when deciding which name to pass on include

which parent you're closest to (in cases where you really don't have a good relationship with one of them)

which surname sounds better with your partner's surname choice

if one of the surnames is commonly misspelled and would make your baby's life difficult down the line

which surname you think is prettiest or coolest

how common your surnames are

=-=-=

P.S. @tolkien-feels, I hate to break it to you, but that naming system wasn't invented by Tolkien. It's just the Norse system.

E.g.  Allfather, Bórsson, One-Eye, Eaglehead, Baldrsfather, Shiftyeyed, Spearshaker, Blind, Chieftan, Wiseone, Concealer, Spearman are all surnames-that-aren't-surnames for Odin (the term for that kijnd of name is "kenning")

if we want to stop the patriarchal concept of surnames being passed down the male line, we have a few options options that i’d be 100% fine with:

children get whichever surname is cooler, to eliminate uncool surnames over the generations

children get whichever surname is rarer, to achieve a utopian future in a few centuries where all surnames are more or less equally common

children’s surnames are randomly generated: say, heads for parent #1’s surname, tails for parent #2’s surname

parents pick the first names first, and then a court decides which surname fits it better. so if a couple named mr. madison and mr. liu want to name their daughter alison, she’ll get the surname liu, because alison madison sounds ridiculous

everyone stops having children right now

[essektheylyss]

the way caleb uses people's names (or doesn't) in canon is one of the things i love most abt him as a character! his very careful, deliberate use of essek's name after the big reveal frankly does more than a hundred forehead kisses would to really show how he's feeling towards essek.

THIS ALWAYS GETS ME like he’s very specific about it and I love it so much, it’s this opening of “I don’t necessarily trust you but I do not reject you” (and the first time he does address Essek by his first name after that reveal is immediately after “That doesn’t mean we don’t hope for you” and....... fuck it’s really SOFT

honestly “Essek and I get along fairly well” also kills me every time because it’s just. was there a reason to point that out, Caleb? 

and he doesn’t even address Essek by his first name until episode 77 when Beau and Essek are going back and forth about “dunamagic” and it’s just so... casual, it’s so friendly and soft and the fact that he is very deliberate about names makes it very fun

[shittyavatarideas]

avatar of the web that's just Spiders Georg

statistical anomalies are absolutely web 

[your-turn-to-role]

i just want you to know that your tag 'you gotta let people at least try to be better' is literally a line in a half-written fic i have about jester explaining why she's still angling for a relationship with her dad.

great minds!

and yeah, i think the m9 could stand to adopt that attitude with a lot of people jester loves

[luckthebard]

i'm rewatching early zadash episodes and i have another thought for the Great Shadowhand Mystery -- if a Shadowhand is like a spymaster, i can't imagine the spies in zadash would have come so close to succeeding at getting the beacon. right? i mean, if they were under essek's control, surely he'd have warned his assembly contacts they were coming so they could move the thing, right???

That’s a good point! I mean, unless Essek was pulling a double-cross because he wasn’t getting what he wanted out of the arrangement, and so wanted to take one back as a warning to the Assembly not to cross him?

But also that also seems super risky, so in some ways it does make more sense that the Beacon retrieval was something he wasn’t privy to, or at the very least wasn’t in charge of. 

So...at what point in the quarantine do we start desperately tweeting Matt to explain what Essek’s job is, haha?

[blujayonthewing]

lostsometime

  thinking about the time our cleric outright stole...

how… do you dm… if you don’t like conflict?? like, even fake pretendy conflict? that is… the game?

GOOD QUESTION, YEAH. one time we were doing a side quest with this crystal golem who was like ‘I have guarded this cave since the dawn of time to prevent the evil spirits trapped in these crystals from escaping’ and then at the end our bard was like ‘hey I’m gonna break one of these crystals, I think I see a gem underneath one’ and while we were arguing about it this crystal golem was just like ‘idk do what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’ and then evil spirits did, in fact, escape and she still didn’t do anything gkjfhkjgdgf

all the npcs are like this all the time

[sparxwrites]

answering your challenge, is your favorite line: "When it is done, his back has skin on it again." with the awful implication being that previously, it did not.

not quite!! though that one is also Very good and delightful because yes, essek’s back previously had pretty much no skin left on it whatsoever after the flogging :3c

[lilnasxvevo]

@lostsometime I didn’t respond to this at the time obviously but someone just liked this post and so I revisited it and now your comment OOH the wheels they are a-turnin’

Here’s how I think it ends:

-It’s down to Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and Wei Ying. The arena is experiencing a fierce man-made blizzard. The shelter they grabbed is not good enough to wait out a storm this terrible (it’s like a very shallow cave or something) and they would never be able to keep their bearings long enough to find a new shelter if they left. Wei Ying gets up and starts trying to leave the cave, and the Wens pull him back. Wei Ying calmly explains to them that he’s sacrificing himself because one of the Wens should win. They disagree, they immobilize him either chemically or physically, they go out and nobly freeze to death themselves.

-The blizzard stops immediately. Wei Ying is collected. The second he’s safely out of the arena, he kills the people who came to get him and runs.

-The Capitol is in a very warm place and people don’t often freeze to death there, so they don’t know the adage that someone who freezes to death is “only dead when they’re WARM and dead”—i.e. someone who appears frozen to death might still revive once they’re…defrosted. They put Wen Ning and Wen Qing’s bodies in a morgue unattended. Wen Ning and Wen Qing get up and fuckin’ run. People killed in the arena are usually cremated and either the Capitol can easily cover up the fact that Wen Ning and Wen Qing’s bodies disappeared before that happened, or workers all assume that somebody else cremated those two when the other workers weren’t looking, or some combo of the two.

-Wei Wuxian falls off the grid almost immediately. The Capitol spread a rumor that he’s dead. The Wens aren’t so sure, but have no way to contact him.

In a real Hunger Games scenario Wei Wuxian would befriend half the contestants against their will before they even get dropped into the arena and then everyone who befriended Wei Wuxian is too scared to kill any of Wei Wuxian’s other friends because they don’t want to make him sad, and no one from the half of the contestants that Wei Wuxian didn’t manage to befriend/didn’t want to befriend wants to kill any of Wei Wuxian’s friends because then they’ll have ~10 people mad at them for making Wei Wuxian sad.

This would result in the largest alliance in Hunger Games history, which would last an insanely long time by Hunger Games standards until the people running the show realize the only way to end it is to force everyone to succumb to environmental causes of death instead of killing each other and they fuck with the settings of the arena until everyone starves to death or gets mauled by animals or dies in a blizzard or whatever.

This STILL lasts a very long time because Capitol residents keep shelling out cash to give them the things they need to survive because this is the most compelling Hunger Games in AGES and they want to see what will happen.

JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR.

[hellowhyareyouhere]

Chapters: 9/9 Fandom: One Piece (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante & Trafalgar D. Water Law Characters: Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante, Trafalgar D. Water Law, Bepo (One Piece), Penguin (One Piece), Shachi (One Piece), Sengoku The Buddha Additional Tags: Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Parent Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante, does a surgery count as hurt/comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Fluff, no beta we die like cora, except not in this au. he's okay this time i promise, maybe i should change that light angst tag. it's pretty heavy, Angst, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 3.5-4 Hours Series: Part 6 of Lostsometime's Podfics Summary:

A podfic of the story "Somewhere To Be Safe" by OswaldThatEndswald. Original summary reads:

"They're not safe. Doflamingo will be looking for Law. The marines might search the island for the Ope-Ope No Mi. Cora-san might die of blood loss. But there is nothing else Law can do, exhausted by the overuse of an ability he barely understands and still dying of fever and the Amber Lead ravaging his body.

They are as safe as Law can make them."

Rocinante survives long enough for Law to get back to him. From there, things begin to change.

[fuckyeahgabrielgoodomens]

i first interpreted "there are no backchannels" as a "wink wink" kind of thing, but now i think you're right. at the end, gabriel mentions something about getting the hellfire they're planning to use on aziraphale from a "new friend." i think michael probably set up the exchange with one of her contacts down there (as she's the one who delivers the holy water) and he just... thinks this is a new arrangement. he thinks this is the first time she's done this.

Yeah!

Especially because... I have to wonder about the photos of Aziraphale and Crowley. They weren’t just from modern times - those photos were hundreds of years old, some of them, and if Heaven wasn’t hemmed in by linear time on Earth, Aziraphale would have had a very different methodology during the apocalypse, which means either Hell or Heaven have known about Aziraphale and Crowley for centuries, possibly even since the Beginning.

But those pictures?

Sexy. High-tech. Got that heavenly blue filter on them so they don’t mismatch with the décor.

I don’t think Michael was calling Beelzebub up to say, “Hey, you got evidence that Aziraphale and Crowley are traitors?” I think she was calling them up to say, “Hey. I need leverage. Are you ready for the two of us to drop the bombshell re: Aziraphale and Crowley? I’ll scratch your back (with a rake, obviously, your back is disgusting xoxo) if you scratch mine.”

And that is an interesting concept. 

Because if Michael knew? Her being... surprisingly gentle with Aziraphale throughout all his weird conversations, nudging him back to the path of Good, is... in a whole new light.