#lose life no kid or adult
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A Morning pointed down towards you ;) cheerio (should be mates) Well it’s only dependent on where specifically on Earth I am pointing ! Let all inherently know I was not doing thee absolute pointing this (ya when we captured this phenomenon presented brightly right two we) All of us were just subjects, looking into (well rather forwardly and slightly up above roof and in between the trees (.that’s like ur White House picture) I, already know this Who do you think is writing (Written) on a Crittenden Lane Come across Balls kicked from dad, He saved you from me only beginning Tell me throat kick (It should not be practiced at home) It is what it was Past You don’t say!
#wordsbymm#mmybsdrow#wind#winds#artcalledoddities#artcallednonsensed#artcalled artery#let some blood flood over/under concrete#around a whole globe#people dying#let’s have some words now pouring#pouring out ultra > .#?!#now breathe#don’t unblock for sunscreen blocking#don’t let a child#drown#like hang#lasso in the truth of swirls of the waters#no American should in water#lose life no kid or adult#baby or nothing should be#left alone#in H2O#not this Summer#most sad#after primitive
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I haven’t watched it in a while but Zuko and Toph actually should’ve had the life-changing field trip because I really needed her to find out that his biggest problem is a father that demanded his children be the best benders around and kind of envy that, and then I needed him to find out that her biggest problem is parents that believed her to be helpless and wanted to love and protect her anyway and just totally flip out.
#I always felt bad for them. If I found out that my 12-year-old (blind or not) was living a dangerous double life I would also lose my mind#We didn’t really get to see them at their best#They kind of had the “okay you’re grounded FOREVER” moment that a lot of parents would have under those circumstances#and then she hit the road before the knowledge could sink in#I mean I’m sure she had reason to think that they’d still be overprotective if they knew how self-sufficient she was#but that theory was never actually tested#It doesn’t bug me the show’s about dumb kids acting like dumb kids so of course she takes it for granted they’ll never get her and runs off#with people who do#but then you have a whole adult audience watching it and acting like they’re as bad as Ozai pardon me what#Anyway. Missed opportunity! HUGE
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Been reading Law Novel 👍
(super legally and not at all from a Google Docs English fan translation 👀)
WOLF ONE PIECE I KNOW YOURE NOT CANON BUT YOU REMAIN FOREVER FAMOUS TO MEEEE!!!
(Handwriting translations under the cut)
1-
Law: Junk-ya this is Bepo. He’s a polar bear and he’s going to live with us now. Be nice
Bepo: He brought me here without explaining anything..sorry….
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I like this sad old man :)
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Wolf: I swear, I let ONE kid stay - out of pure convenience - and they just kept multiplying!
Dadan: Tell me about it…
Both of them, thinking: I LOVE MY FUCKIN KIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!!
#tho I do acknowledge that wolf’s role - at least towards Law - is not exactly parental#which is one of the reasons Law likes it so much - since he’s being taken seriously after all the Trauma™️#but regardless it’s full of love and they are ‘his kids’ - as in the kids he houses and who follow him around and feel happy living with him#they’re family. but maybe not in the father-son way like you may define his and Cora’s relationship#but the love and safety that comes from having a kind adult to look out for you and prepare you for life as you go through it#or the joy of having a young person in your house who looks up to you and brings joy/meaning to your life is all still there#it’s kinda the same for Dadan actually - though different cuz of the ages and ways that she got her kids are much different- especially Ace#plus wolf does it voluntarily lmao. not to diss Dadan ofc I love her - but it’s sweet to see how non-reluctant this guy is#Law has always been so loved - even if he kept losing the people who loved him for a while - and it makes me so emotional#anyway i love him#he’s canon in my heart stfu 😭#one piece#one piece fanart#my art#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar law#one piece law#law novel#novel law#one piece novel law#wolf one piece#genius inventor wolf#one piece wolf#one piece bepo#bepo one piece#curly dadan#one piece dadan#heart pirates#me yapping#yapping in tags
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jjk is about a lot of things but most of all with regard to Shoko Satoru and Suguru it's about how if you don't interact with people who aren't in your weird fucked up school with like 10 ppl total on a regular basis you WILL become an incredibly interesting adult in a way that makes people pity you
#JJK#Jujutsu Kaisen#Like obv the post is jokey but genuinely I feel like ppl don't talk about the intense isolation that goes on#Shoko Nanami Suguru and Satoru like regularly interact w 4 ppl (the others + Haibara) and like... Man. When you lose 25% of your social lif#And you can barely. Talk to the other 75% because they're equally but differently affected. Shits going to do some Interesting Things to u#Also it might be part of ''op grew up with very little social interaction not for any one specific reason but in general#Doesn't naturally form friendships/bonds even when surrounded by ppl'' but only having like 1 or two close friends#(and like. Satoru calls Suguru his only friend. He definitely likes Shoko and Nanami but obviously there's a distance there)#Will do some Very Interesting Things To You. Anyway Satoru and Suguru were both pretty heavily implied to be very socially isolated#As children (bc of being ''the strongest''/able to see curses but also autism. They're autistic) and then ended up having a wildly#Codependent relationship that ended up ruining them both bc they didn't know how to start fixing things#Because they were the only ppl they really knew so. I'm going to be honest I think at some points they straight up loathed each other#Suguru bc Satoru ''left him behind'' Satoru bc Suguru ''didnt catch up'' and like. They had fucking no one to talk to#like 1. Shoko and Nanami are Also Kids and Know Both Of Them Well so trying to go to them would be. Wild#2. The adults in their life... There's only so much Yaga can do as one man. And I also think he's Struggling#3. They straight up don't know how to talk to people. They just don't.#Anyways they hated each other because they loved each other and I'm not saying talking to other ppl would've fixed this but#I think it could've changed A Lot y'know. Eh maybe my point would be stronger if Yuuji Megumi n Nobara#Like. Had better fleshed out social lives (showing why they're less fucking. Deranged) bc there's clearly Elements but not really much#Concrete stuff to point to. Yuuji kinda just forgets his old classmates. Sad! Megumi had His Sister and that was........ And Nobara didn't#Get her shit resolved. So. Yaaaay
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Thinking about ScarVi's overarching theme being The Truth Shall Set You Free. I am so normal about this
#spoilers in tags#pokémon#pokemon sv#Arven initially being closed off and not trusting you because he was neglected by his parent and learned to only rely on himself#realizing very early on that being honest is the best chance he has at healing his Mabostiff#but still not opening up about his bigger issues until it was absolutely necessary which pushes the story forward into endgame#Penny hiding herself behind Cassiopeia to protect herself from bullying#getting an entire group of outcast kids into a team to scare their bullies off#only for the plan to backfire splendously when they're mistaken for the bullies#and Clavell in a rare display of clarity ffrom an adult in a position of authority#rather than simply punishing them for it opted to team up with us to understand what was really going on#and that made him much more lenient in punishing them (because they did still cause trouble!)#the truth of Turo/Sada spiraling into their work and refusing to see the damage it was doing to EVERYTHING including themselves#to the point that they DIED#and the AI they built explicitly for the purpose of continuing their work ran the calculations and realized said work was Bad#and that truth made it go against its own programming which is what kickstarts the main story to begin with#and may I contrast all that with NEMONA whose sheer energy and eagerness is 1000% GENUINE#I've seen so many people say they thought she was going to eventually be angry for losing to us all the time#but the whole point of her character is that she's free to do whatever the fuck she wants and she's pretty happy with her life#she has no reason to fake happiness. she's just like that. she is free from the beginning and she's always be free and that's the point#in a story where no one else is!!! everyone else is bound by some complication or another that holds them back from being honest#i changed my mind i'm insane about this. no longer normal#pokemon sv spoilers#babbles
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I think parents should have less control over their children and children should have strongly protected rights to keep whatever the fuck they want from them and I'm not kidding
#I would've turned out so much less fucked up if I could've talked to anyone about anything as a kid without fearing that my whole life will#go to shit#If you're being abused as a child literally the only options you have are lose everything forever or suck it up until you're 18#There is no reason the average child is safer with their parents than any other adult#the odds of a random adult being a bad person are no higher than to the odds of their parents being bad people#hell there's good arguments to the opposite
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#I am struggling so hard to pinpoint where the lines are in discussions of situations like the franke and hildebrandt behaviors#because like ok#people keep being so outraged and angry and baffled that they viewed the kids as#deliberately willful and disobedient#and then transitioned into believing them to be infected with evil and or influenced or possessed by demons or under satanic influence#and that’s where everyone is like HOW COULD THEY THINK THIS HOW COULD THEY TELL THEM THAT HOW COULD THEY ETC ETC#and that’s where everyone loses me#like yeah. of course it’s wrong. of course it’s damaging and shitty. but like. what in the world is everyone so shocked and upset by#about that concept (not the physical abuse it caused obviously)#how are you shocked. how are you shocked? it’s just the logical conclusion of believing children have disobedient evil wills#like if you assume evil you’re only going to escalate from there. OBVIOUSLY#I don’t understand how it’s different#where do things cross these lines? no one explains that to me#normal life as usual while tons of kids including me spend years or decades believing we’re evil and under stubborn satanic influence#but in one of the rare situations where it rises to public awareness suddenly everyone is shitting bricks over it#I want those kids drowned in love forever and I wish it never happened to them and their situation#was definitely so so so extreme and severe and I am so glad R was so brave and desperate and got them out#but like. how is everyone so shocked#this is standard. this is common. there’s a huge subculture of people doing and believing this shit#like why is it different just because this case is so visible#so like how is it so hard for people to grasp that this is a widespread issue#I don’t understand#of COURSE it’s wrong to do to someone but like#so many parents and adults do so many of the things these two did just less#fewer hours. less intensely. not in a desert. not with handcuffs and shit. etc.#where’s the line legally? where’s the line culturally?#like how am I supposed to grasp that it’s not a problem until it’s at some level that#I know it’s all Bad but I mean in terms of when the populace starts to mass-care
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#look obviously this is not my fucking moment hence why this is an in the tags post#but. man.#'my heart hurts' is a phrase that was thrown around a lot by the adults in my life when I was growing up#& a lot of the time it was in reference to some real bullshit so I never really thought about it except to roll my eyes#but god my heart hurts#it makes me feel like a little kid wondering why it has to be so hard to help people#to know the names and faces and stories of so many people suffering & to be able to do so little to help#one person mentioned their grandfather was martyred & it hit me like a brick#my grandfather is so important to me & I know he'll die one day & probably relatively soon#but to imagine losing him to violence??? to hate????? it makes me fucking sick#I just can't understand it I can't make sense of it#feels like watching an older kid kill a baby bird for no reason except on a scale of tens of thousands#they're just people. just human fucking beings. familes & friends & communities & there is no fucking difference between us & them#like I know it sounds all john lennon or whatever but genuinely there is no meaningful difference between me & a 25y/o palestinian woman#I could know her. I could love her. people do know & love her.#the people of gaza don't deserve this. they didn't do anything to deserve this. no one *could* deserve this.#I’m so filled with grief and rage and I couldn't be further removed from the actual horror of it all#again. this is not my moment & I know that. but it hurts so badly I just needed to get it out.#please help if you can. donate to fundraisers if you can. promote them if you can't. stand up for palestine irl.
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🖤👻🏰🩹
#sooooo i really can't stand living like this any longer. i'm going more and more insane each day and im losing hope and the will to live#i hate every single aspect of my life. and that's not just bc im negative or whatever. it's bc i have mental + physical health issues#i have chronic pain. i constantly keep having new health issues. headaches. muscle tensions. racing heart. heavy body and constantly tired#i dont sleep. i sleep 2 hours then wake up. sleep 2 more. repeat. my sisters havent talked to me this entire year. i have no friends#im poor and one by one all my things stops working and i cant afford to get new ones. i cant afford dental care. i have AWFUL posture#spend my whole life in my bed and my soul dies and rots day by day#ok i went on an unintended tangent. point is i have nothing in my life that works or is good. maybe a couple of things but thats not enough#i hate myself sm for being pathetic useless worthless stupid incapabable incompetent lazy avoidant#i cant keep going like this!!! i cant stand it + my mom is talking abt moving (w one of my sisters) so i literally cant keep being like this#my mom's tired of me and tells me to become independent. i hate myself for being 24 and still being a fkn child. but it scares me bc idk#how to be an adult???? i love my mom but she never really taught me how. and i had to be old when i was a kid so now im just stuck#this got too long guess i just needed to vent abt this >.<
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I have an insatiable desire to beat up Jamil’s parents again
#Jamil's backstory always gets me heated over how genuinely messed up every adult in Jamil's life is#ESPECIALLY his parents#Literally made their child incapable of speaking his mind#gave him NO SUPPORT#because they chose the asims over their kids#I don't doubt their fear of punishment and losing their jobs is real#they probably experienced terrible stuff in their past#but holy fuck instructing their son to self-sabotage and hitting him for even speaking his mind#Listen man I know I wrote the parents with more depth that they deserve in my fic but as of their less developed game selves?#im going right for the jugular#Jamil and Najma deserve better#(tho thankfully it seems Najma has more freedom to do more and Jamil is just stuck)
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it's kinda weird that when you look at health recommendations for various medical conditions associated with fatness it's always 'just lose 10% of your body weight to see a risk reduction' (so like 20-30 pounds for the average overweight or obese person according to the bmi) but then in day to day medicine there's not really a way of like, removing obesity as a diagnosis on your insurance paperwork for example, even if by a certain standard you've lost enough weight to reduce the risk of health conditions that insurance would be concerned about. if you're an average height weighing 300 pounds and lose 30 pounds, which seems to be the amount that's considered reasonable to lose and maintain if you want to like, reduce your cholesterol, you've gone from morbidly obese to morbidly obese.
#beyond like the more pervasive stigma that i think has been around for a lot of history around fatness#i think the biggest reason behind the current concern over obesity in the US especially is uh. capitalism#there's always this addition about look at how much money these people cost us!! and its like who's us. insurance companies?#idk one one hand it's nice to see that medical science is maybe being kinder now than when i was an overweight 11 year old lmao#like when i was a kid it was hey this index that is not accurate for your age and sex says you need to lose 15 pounds#and then constant badgering about it until i got sick dropped 5 pounds and fit the graph better or whatever#and then i continued to gain weight for the next 7 years until i treated my insulin resistance#but i genuinely got worse and stricter treatment as overweight than morbidly obese because i think now that I'm 250 and an adult#they're like yeah you're just fat we're not going to bother beyond the legally required warnings#also when i was 11 it was uhhhh 2016 so middle of the obama admin when fat kids were the topic du jour#but the way they talked about it was like if I didn't stay under 130 pounds for the rest of my life i might as well drop dead#so seeing hey if you lose like 25 pounds you're good and you don't need to drop over 100 is. Comparatively better#still shitty advice for insulin resistant people IMO but whatever
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had a funny moment the other day where my wife said "we should maybe buy some powdered milk?" (because it's useful for baking and cooking and when you run out of real milk)
and i said "eughhh, i know it's fine but it reminds me of being very little and very poor," (which is true, i drank it a lot as a kid, takes me directly back to stale-fresh-constant cigarette smoke of my grandparents' house - they're both dead now, crazy - isn't it funny how there's always cigarette money but never milk money?)
and she said "babe, we ARE poor." (and my wife isn't wrong but i don't think it's the same kind. we don't walk to the dollar general for all the groceries we buy. or rely on our twenty-two year old daughter with three jobs to bring us the rest. and she only does that to make sure we feed her toddler that we're watching, because we're the closest thing to free childcare she has access to, even though she wishes her baby wasn't in that smoky smoky falling-down house. but she's poor, because we birthed her poor and raised her poor and gave her nothing but all kinds of hunger. so she'll take what's free and hope we don't leave the baby hungry too. and it's not free cuz the groceries add up. and she'll keep bringing groceries, even after the baby's in school and she's got just the one better job. and daycare those five years might've been cheaper, all told. isn't it funny how there's always so much for an eldest daughter to give you? even when she's a mother too?)
anyways. i know powdered milk is a baking staple and i don't mind it mixed into things but i will never have a glass of powdered milk again. it tastes like marlboro ashes.
#haha this was meant to be a quick funny post about being broke in your twenties#but it turned into reflecting on my childhood and realizing what my mother was doing at my age#and just being angry for her.#some things about my early life i remember fondly - sewing lessons! unlimited computer access from age 3 because i could read!)#i don't mind having grown up poor. i don't. but i fucking. hate being reminded of why things were that way.#cigarettes and weed over food for the kids every time every time. for my aunts and uncles and me too.#were they broke for other reasons? yes of course. of course.#and my mama was poor because she couldn't go to school and had ME. and she carried me and my deadbeat loser ass bio dad for two years#before she found my dad (the good one) and even still. we were hungry for a while.#i don't know how to process the grief of losing my grandmother and reconcile it with my adult view of how she enabled my grandfather#bc it stemmed from him and. and. and im glad he's dead. but he ruined her life.#and they both dragged my mama down and still do.#i don't know. i just don't like powdered milk.#also i don't consider us poor. maybe we are but... eh. i think it's more like broke#broke and poor is two different things
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one thing i'm going to miss about being a bookseller is helping fellow disabled kids find books that represent us
#rachel in real life#i didn't know many adults with physical disabilities growing up#so it feels like the least i can do is give kids an idea that adulthood is attainable#because so much focus is on us when we're young and then...well..you casually lose the services as you age
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teachers who take it as a personal offense when you need an extension need to quit because its not fucking about YOUUUU
ME NEEDING AN EXTENSION BECAUSE MY WORKING CAPACITIES IS NOT LINING UP WITH YOUR FUCKING CURRICULUM GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MEEE
WHY ARE YOU DENYING ME AN EXTENSION BECAUSE IT'S "NOT FAIR TO THE OTHER STUDENTS" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEANNNNN WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT
this logic is why i never asked for help in high school bc well everyone is doing it so i should be able to do it too right..? no fuck that school is not the most important thing in the world and i will not jeopardize my health to finish your stupid fucking paper and isnt it ironic reading and writing about racism colonialism and capitalism while being plagued by them and receiving no help for it? it really is just theory to you stupid academics huh? yall wanna talk about how bad racial capitalism is but when a poor brown student asks for help fuck them i guess
and back on the "not fair" IF I NEED TWO BURGERS TO FEEL FULL BUT YOU NEED THREE IM NOT GONNA TELL U TO EAT 2 BC IM EATING TWO. IF U NEED THREE BURGERS THEN EAT THREE BURGERS TF???
and dont even start with the "theres not enough to go around" there is ALWAYS and i mean ALWAYS enough scarcity is an ILLUSION and if giving me an extension means u cant finish grading then what youre assigning is not only unsustainable for me as a student but also you bc u cant keep up with your own work so consider changing how you teach bc something is clearly not working when half the class doesnt show up and those who do did none of the work.. clearly the students are not the problem YOU ARE
talking about "you need to do the readings assigned to you" no i dont NEED to do shit esp if it means losing sleep not eating enough or taking care of my basic needs go fuck yourself academia and work in general acts like me not sacrificng myself for you is the greatest personal offense and im actually completely over it. i am not overexerting myself no matter how upset you get. idc im always gonna eat and sleep enough to the best extent i can and im gonna take time to clean myself and my house and to sit with my feelings bc life is gonna keep living and im not spending all my time worrying ab ur stupid fucking paper
#🧃#my priorities are really being set SET#i am really gonna live by my principles to my best extent and even it that means losing money and making authority figures upset#bc if im a slave to money and praise from authority forever then ill always be miserable#and ik its hard to do that bc the survival instinct is ingrained so deeply and ive alwats been told to put money and success over everythin#including over my own wellbeing#but nah. fuck that. the first few semesters of college were light but now with the level 3000 classes i have to ask for help more often#otherwise ill just fail so. im learning a lot about being assertive and pushing back#i never did this in hig hschool bc it was so discouraged lmaoo#by every adult in my life essentially#its sickening#how they mold kids to become capitalism loving robots#it didnt work on me bc im too disabled to do that even though i wanted to#and now im starting to realize i never needed to do that ata ll#rewiring a lot of mindsets i had in high school thru my college experience
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I feel like I just got Mandela Effected by Digimon the Movie
#What do you MEAN Willis wasn't originally mentioned in the first 2 parts of the movie???#What do you *M E A N* the English release just cut out an entire chunk of the 3rd part that included the OG Digidestined getting kidnapped#And RESCUING THEM is the main inciting incident of the movie???#WHAT????#NEXT YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT ALL-STAR BY SMASH MOUTH WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE SOUNDTRACK??????????#I'M LOSING MY MIND#I GREW UP WITH THIS MOVIE#The re-release/re-dub that incited this for me cannot come any sooner#I should really look into unedited versions of early 2000s Japanese media I watched as a kid#They keep changing things without me realizing and I just end up thinking that's how it went for my whole adult life#At least I already knew Uranus and Neptune weren't cousins#Or I'd have been fucking GOBSMACKED when I bought the new DVDs#Digimon ranting in the tags I guess
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at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.
because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.
so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.
it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.
your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.
you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.
welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!
your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."
#spilled ink#warm up#i am OFF MY MEDS AND I FUCKING HATE IT#WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING#NOT GOOD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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