#look at me posting writing again :D
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“G!” Scar grins as he sees the other approaching his train. He jumps down the ladder, landing with wobbly feet as he makes contact with the ground. “Just the birdie I was looking for!”
Grian lifts a brow, “Oh? What a coincidence. I was looking for you as well.” His wings flutter and twitch in response, folding neatly against his back. “Got any diamonds to spare?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve run out of diamonds again,” Scar tuts as he shakes his head in disapproval. Grian grimaces in answer, earning a disappointed sigh from the zoo keeper. “For shame, sir!”
“Just be happy I’m not skimming from the top of Ore Mountain again.” Grian squints at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Can I borrow a few or what?”
Scar makes a show of thinking about it, dramatizing his hum and tapping his chin. “You happen to have amayzin’ timing, considering I had something to give you.”
“Oh?” Grian tilts his head, looking at the other with curiosity. “Do I get the diamonds too?”
“Oh yes, of course, of course!” Scar joyfully nods, his warm smile not doing a single thing to cover up his salesman voice (as Grian has so lovingly dubbed it). “This would be an exchange of goods, after all! It’s only fair you’re compensated for your time!”
Grian stares at him for a second, eyes just shy of a squint. He doesn’t think there’s really an exchange going on, considering he’s not giving Scar anything in return; besides his presence, that is. He could point out to Scar that this isn’t an equal trade (barely a trade at all, really), but where would the fun in that be? He kind of wants to see where Scar is going with this.
Plus if he really feels bad about whatever this is, Grian can always find some way to repay Scar later.
Wings fluttering against his back, he shrugs. “Okay.”
“Great!” Scar beams at him, clapping his hands together. “Alright, I need you to stay perfectly still, no twitching a single feather, mister! Oh, and close your eyes too!” he directs the avian, earning an odd look from Grian.
“O…kay..?” Doing as told, Grian closes his eyes, curious. It’s definitely some surprise Scar has for him. But what is it? And why? He hasn’t missed any birthdays or anniversaries, has he? Maybe he can take a little peek… Scar never said anything about keeping his Watcher Eyes closed.
As if reading his thoughts, he hears Scar exclaim, “Yes that includes your funky magic eyeballs too, you pesky bird!”
Drat.
Grian sighs, resolving himself to the agony of waiting patiently. How horrible. Scar should feel terrible for making him wait like this. The build up is killing him! He’s eager with anticipation!
His breath stills as he feels Scar’s presence get closer to him. Grian can feel the warmth of his exhales as he releases them, all gentle and soft. Scar makes a few concentrated noises, and Grian can imagine the way his tongue pokes out from his mouth just slightly. He waits before feeling something being carefully set on his head, gentle palms combing through his hair. The feeling is followed by soft lips against his nose, as well as a little laugh as he scrunches his face.
“Okay, now open your eyes!”
Grian squints against the sunlight as his eyes open again, having to blink a few times before he looks at Scar in front of him. It takes him a second to notice anything different, setting a hand on top of his hair as he looks at the zoo keeper. He feels soft petals under his fingers, and finds that Scar has a crown made of sunflowers nestled in his hair. “Flower crowns?” he asks, confused.
“I made us matching ones!” Scar exclaims, his smile growing impossibly larger. “See I got the idea from Pearl after talking with her about doing a gift shop for the zoo—because you can’t have a zoo and no gift shop, that’s criminal!— and then bayum, it hit me! I’ll sell flower crowns as one of the items since I’ve got sniffers!” He gestures with his hands as he speaks, and Grian is captured by every word from the brilliant man. “I don’t even have a single enclosure of the zoo done yet but oh Grian I got so inspired, I had to do something with the idea!”
Grian can’t help his fond look as he sets a hand on his hip. “So you made some flower crowns?”
Scar eagerly nods, “Yup! I made them with you in mind so… who better to share the first try with than my pretty bird?”
The feathers on Grian’s wings fluff up at that. “You’ve got to be the biggest sap I know,” he sighs, although he finds the gesture incredibly sweet. “Though I have to ask, how is this an exchange? I’m not giving you anything.”
“Sure you are,” Scar argues, turning to set down his ender chest. “I get customer feedback and a free excuse to see you smile!” He looks at Grian, pleased, before ducking down to dig into his ender chest.
Grian decides right then and there that he’s going to kiss this man silly. Then he’s going to properly repay him.
(And if Grian leaves him a small arrangement of flowers on top of the shulker box of sniffer eggs? Well. Scar knows exactly who they’re from.)
#mochi writes#scarian#hermitshipping#found this sitting in my drafts and just HAD to finish it#look at me posting writing again :D#soft scarian for the soul <3#they’re in love your honor
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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this was some hajime hinata bullshit but it was fun to play
#I hate to say it because i still have a grudge against danganronpa for reasons #I did the crime of comparing them again but it was only one other time#because a character looked like one from the first danganronpa game okay#please don't fight me over this because it was just what I thought immediately okayy#ace attorney#dual destines#ace attorney dual destines#apollo justice trilogy#aa5#pwdd#ajt#aa5-2#the monstrous turnabout#apollo justice#dual destines spoliers#apollo justice trilogy spoilers#ace attorney dual destinies spoilers#aa5 spoilers#pwdd spoilers#ajt spoilers#aa5-2 spoilers#I don't put a liveblogging tag cuz I always post screenshots with the notes I write while playing after I finished all of the case :D
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Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins Archive 🎥
This is just so I can reference au things and keep details organized lol, I'll edit this post and try to keep it updated
Original Post/fic link
Original Art (by waivyjellyfish)
Extra Thoughts
Song Ask
Song Drabble
Scripted Harm Ask 1
Scripted Harm Ask 2
Scripted Harm Ask 3
Scripted Harm Drabble
Movie Night Ask 1
Movie Night Ask 2
Cover Song Ask 1
Cover Song Ask 2
Misc Thoughts Ask
MV Es Ask
Es/Jailbreak Team Ask 1
Es/Jailbreak Team Ask 2
Kazui Makeup Ask
Kazui Makeup Drabble
Kotoko Thumbnail Drabble
Hair Growth Ask
Yuno fic "Fell and Found Out" (by amugoffandoms)
Order of Attack AU Drabble
#thank you everyone for such incredible ideas#i never get this deep into aus so its been a ton of to collaborate on so many ideas and details :D#but i also realized the posts were getting spread out and i wanted a quick way to find things given my challenged memory 😅#there were a few other posts just having fun chatting :) i didnt forget about them -- i was just collecting info-related ones#i almost dont feel as bad for not writing more fic looking at all the extra stuff i have here lol#and once again if you make au content you are morally obligated to tell me so I can SEE >:3#lights camera sing your sins#milgram
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Read a Twitter thread a few days ago how Katsuki, Izuku and Tomura are meant to be the pillars of hope and change for hero society (by Kikibats, go check her out, the thread is her pinned tweet), and that got me thinking about Tomura's birth name, so I looked up the kanji for his name (志村 転弧, for those curious), and I wanted to share.
(someone probably already did make this connection and worded it better but screw it we bail let's go-)
Kikibats' thread has mentioned what "Shimura" could have originally meant In-Universe, especially "Mura", so it's about a paragraph short, because I'm writing what it could mean in the story as it is (again, In-Universe):
So from the name Shimura Tenko, we have:
Shi (志):
"Determination, ambition, intent", which Tenko does have, arguably even more than Izuku has (I mean, running around barely sleeping while facing Gigantomachia for three months? spending four months in a tube and resurrecting by sheer anger?), but ambitious is after realizing his convictions and intends to carry on the League's. It can also refer to “will” as in willpower, the one trait AFO doesn't have, and the reason he was selected as his vessel.
Mura (村):
Mentioned in her thread, but "Village", could be an ironic spin on “it takes a village to raise a child”, since after his family's death no one was willing to take him in, and the one who did only did so to groom him into a monster. It could also refer to a heroic trait he has (yes, even as he was annoyed at Toya and Himiko when he first met them): taking people in when he thinks they're lonely, have been rejected, wronged by society and wanting to carry on their convictions, which leads to:
Ten (転):
a verb; "to shift", and sure enough, he's the one who created the Vanguard Action Squad with the purpose of kidnapping Katsuki, setting off the Kamino Incident and shifting the status quo of society. You could argue he has been since the USJ but no one really feared him until Stain came along. Tomura is also one of the characters whose goals and motivations develop the most through the story.
It can also mean "to turn", from changed from the sweet kid who wanted to play heroes with his friends, to a symbol of fear. And physically, he's the willing participant in Dr. Garaki's body experimentation and his body is constantly shapeshifted depending on his (and AFO's) mental state.
Finally, “Ko” (弧):
The kanji for “arc”, which is admittedly very vague and it could mean nothing, but.
It could refer to the arc he goes through.
From a kid playing with those others ignored who wanted to be a hero, to being groomed into the Symbol of Evil('s puppet), which eventually unravels once he becomes powerful enough to fight Izuku, resulting in the reveal that in spite of all what he’s been through, he’s still that kid willing to extend his hand (well, in a metaphorical way) for those who want/need someone to rely on. Someone who wants to be the LoV's hero.
Not quite a full circle, but still not too far off from his beginning.
A bonus point, since we (readers and watchers who like to read the raws/watch subbed anime) use "Ko" we usually think of "子" as in komodo, the kanji for "kid", this one abandoned by a complacent village. And remember since Izuku wants to offer him a hand, a crying lonely child in need of a hero. With AFO taking control of him, while Izuku (and most of Class 1-A) trying to save him, wouldn't it be neat to see Tomura choosing to take Izuku's hand, especially someone whose identity was forcefully defined by a touch of death?
Not quite the same innocent kid, but still the kid who wanted to be a hero for those left behind.
Would be fitting for this arc to come full circle, wouldn't it?
#Boku No Hero Academia#BNHA Spoilers#MHA Spoilers#Shigaraki Tomura#Shimura Tenko#spider.posts#Again check out Kikibats' thread on TWT it's a very fun read#idk what compelled me to see Tenko's kanji today but ykw I don't regret it. I might see what are the other character's later#also I looked up on the wiki to see if I got the correct kanji. fun fact: ''Shigaraki'' is literally death grip's tree funeral#''ki'' is tree and the kanji is in Yagi Toshinori's name just his is read as ''gi''. now I wanna write parallels and foils they share#makes me wonder even more why don't we see more sweet and angsty fics with Toshinori and Tomura are right there#screw DFO I wanna see the other side that is Toshinori adopting the hell out of Tomura more than ever-#i'm going off topic so Imma wrap up the tags#thank you for reading this post. have a nice one! :D
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#applying to jobs that are way out of my league/paygrade/level but idgaf i need MONEY i wanna attain it#hopefully i can start doing that next week/mid next week#need to update my resume & apply 😭#i’m also genuinely. so drained from these past few weeks i don’t even have the energy to write posts/read simple stories or read fics 😪#hopefully EVENTUALLY i can do that#i don’t like being in this Slump it makes me MAD#grrrrrrr snarl hiss bark#so i fear i may not be on here as much until the Drainingness goes away </3#BUT ALSO#tbh. may have to sign back into my armytwt acct again i haven’t been on since summer of 23#but jin is coming back soon so :3#AHHHHHHHH i hope things look up! i hope i get whatever i apply for and be blessed w lots of money & opportunities#we shall seeeeeeeee :3 hope everything is going amazingly for everyone! i hope everything works out in your favor @ anyone who sees this!#MWAH! :D#another also. enjoy the taechwita gif it’s one of my FAVS.#personal
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I'm a c!Tommy fan and didn't mind your aspd c!Tommy post. I don't think it was ableist. I don't exactly agree with it either though but you have a right to say it and not get talked about behind your back. I'm sorry that happened. I would probably send an ask about my interpretation in the distant future once all this has calmed down and the abundance of c!Tommy asks have stopped 😅 ❤️
I really appreciate you saying that. :) I’m glad I haven’t pissed everyone off lol, whether you agree or don’t, or like c!Tommy or don't. I mean I personally don't think it's really right to talk badly about people behind their back anyways, but it certainly does feel a little unreasonable to call me dumb, crazy and delusional without even trying to have a conversation with me. What's sad is that there are points to be made and would have been interesting to discuss like an alternative diagnosis or looking more at the diagnosing criteria. Like this is not a hill I would die on, it's not my favorite analysis or take, it's just an opinion and viewpoint I shared with reasons why, the context of which was actually countering the argument of people calling c!Dream a psychopath.
And while I'm at it, I would like to note a few things. In the essay I didn't even call c!Tommy evil or ASPD evil, and I have tried to be very clear that by no means do I believe c!Tommy deserved to be abused in Exile or any other time. And in regards to the alignment chart, I really disliked that analysis anyways. It just doesn't really work. It's a simplified tool for dnd to help people stay to character, but how do you decide what is good, lawful, and evil in a story where, as I have talked about so many times, there is no true system of laws or government, and no widely accepted bounds of morality... So just to be clear, I will reiterate - no one deserves abuse, I do not think c!Tommy is "evil" or the "Bad guy" and I do not think there is a dsmp character who is. And while it may seem like I have a vendetta or am targeting c!Tommy specifically, that's just where discussion has lead recently, mostly because of the finale, anons, and also because of noticing how often c!Tommy calls c!Dream a psychopath I thought it was interesting to look at how it might be the other way around...
Also... I guess... I don't know, aren't y'all bored of having the same old discussions and takes on c!Dream, c!Tommy, c!Wilbur, c!Punz, c!Tubbo... etc over and over? Is it not fun to look at things in a different way and say - what if this is true or - that is true and how does that change things? Is it not interesting to take the same story and lore and see if it can be seen still canonically in a different way? I mean, applying diagnosis is never going to fit perfectly, not just because I'm a 23 year old autistic engineer not a psychologist of any kind, but also mostly because we only have a set chaotic few years of them to look at with no past to base on. But beyond that, isn't it fun and interesting to see if it fits, if it provides an explanation for behavior we didn't have before? Is it so wrong of me to try and see if there are fun new ways of looking at lore instead of having detailed ships and aus?...
Anyways sorry, I may have gotten carried away there, it has been a long Monday. Regardless, it is a shame that it ruined the chance for actual exciting productive conversation and discussion to happen, because I can't say I am not curious on your interpretation. Guess we will just circle back around to it (it seems to be inevitable at his point lol) <3 <3 <3
#I look forward to reading what you have cooked up when I can stand to talk about tommy again <3#hello there#(yea I may have made the mistake in reading what they said and now broke my vary own rule oops... in fairness I'm defending my honor not#writing an essay so it's different...... sorry)#crumbs#technically just to be clearly legally ASPD is not considered a disability so I’m pretty sure I can’t be ableist about it regardless….#like come on are we really to the point of calling people with actual multiple disabilities ableist because I showed how a character meets#the criteria of sociopathy?…#I feel like thats a bit far. Though I am genuinely sorry to have made anyone feel discriminated#against or hurt by what I said… your feelings are valid even if the accusation is unfitting <3 <3#clarifications#oh I'm a she and her btw. Not a guy#just to be clear so the least you can do while shiting on me behind my back would be to use the proper#pronouns I have listed right at the top ;) thanks......#(and yea I wondered if those other posts might be about me ... but I wrongly assumed you'd come talk to me like a person...#ha guess I am not always right after all ;D...)#you know what's the oddest thing of all here is how c!tommy is just a character while I am a living breathing person behind a keyboard#who does feel things and can get hurt when people bad mouth me behind my back...
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Miss you! Works kicking my ass but you're loved and missed. Well maybe not the elf but I still 🤣🤣
[ ** hugs you ** ;O;// <5 I miss you too! Cue the battle music as we ride to face work. Hope you get some time to chill out soon. Sending you love and strength!! Also we are noting you said "maybe" so we will take that as Nnoitra growing on him u v u // . ]
#gildinbainas#[ aaa this was super sweet thank you t-t <5 ]#[ really made me smile a lot! ]#[ looking forward to when we can write together again :D <5 ]#[ in the meantime take care of yourself!! ]#toby post. ╱ out of character.#saved.
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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea
Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts
OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)
^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol
One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D
It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha
And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!
#Long post#There have been others of course - things like BunBonBop and TMatM and quite a handful of original species lol#I was also involved in an IZRP that got very in depth which is where Bar comes from actually!#As well as my brief stint into being a TGWDLM askblog lol soz to everyone over there ouq#And little stories like Karera no Kotogara and Yanderapy but those mostly set in cartoon-reality y'know?#No magic or sci fi there haha#Man looking back through the OSG stuff kinda makes me wanna unstore Ch. 0 - I've grown a lot since then!#To the point where it almost doesn't feel ''mine'' anymore haha - it has been almost ten years! Maybe to celebrate its anniversary :)#Also yeah if you look hard enough I've been in love with and inspired by Vargas for as long as I've known about it haha#AGE was so much fun <3 I would like to get back to it someday but picking back up after so long is hard!#I still hold all of them fondly of course ♥ Mar especially since they were the tipping point for me loving spiders :D#It's hard to believe Just Desserts is already four years deep! It still feels so new to me haha#I know I big up Charm and her design a lot lol but for me it really is exactly what I want <3 It's my perfect :)#I still really want to get into 3D modeling to make her as I originally envisioned her!#If I had the funds I'd absolutely commission someone but tbh I don't know many names on that side of art haha#I've also heard about people who give advice/brainstorming sessions for magic systems and I've been intrigued ever since :0#I'd love to sit down with someone and hash out Exactly how their magic works! It feels like it just needs a few more pushes!#Then again that's what I said about the TVAU outfits too haha ♪ Maybe it would all fall into place!#To the base question tho: I never know how to qualify ''implemented'' - does just putting it out there as a concept count?#Writing a story? Making a comic? A series? Polished? Completed?? Where's the line haha#I'm always so full of ideas but focusing on anything long enough to make it ''pretty'' is so hard for me still#I just keep creating never stopping haha
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i had some thoughts about this kinda idea before but it came to me again last night — i often think about how hard life gets for yuna after she becomes high summoner. living in spira as a popular religious figure just intensifies the process of trying to live your days with trauma you cannot ever fully process + forming bonds that are meaningful / do not feel false because even in x-2 new yevon ( or the youth league ) tried to take advantage of that, for example ( seeking her as approval to gain spira's general appreciation, trying an arranged marriage between the high summoner + the praetor and whatnot ). everyone would want the approval of the high summoner, and thus it becomes basically impossible for yuna to do things that go under the radar. i think people in spira need a long time to learn what it is like to live life without sin, and so falling into the old habits is very effective, especially when they've been perpetuated for decades. i have this idea that they would easily try to see meaning behind anything yuna were to do, because of her influential status as a) braska's daughter, b) a high summoner, c) the only living high summoner, and the list could go on with other features such as two times saviour, seymour's widow possibly having some influence on it as well for the most old yevonites / guados? all of that has meaning in front of the eyes of the believers — i mean, all of spira, really.
my thought is that yuna is not naive the way she was, and now knows the way of her world, and especially knows that everyone is selfish in their own pursuits to some degree. so i've mentioned before how over time she tends to close in itself and as a result not speak much anymore / freely as she once did, part of the reason i would say is because she knows she needs to weight her words now; she would freely express herself in her entirety before, when she knew her life had a deadline and that her words would be used perhaps to do good once she was gone, but now that she's the first of a long series of sacrificial high summoners she does not know who to look back to for an example to follow, and she is setting in stone the end of all summoners who were seen as so high, and she the highest of them all.
i think another expression of that is also her inability to form meaningful new bonds. she's hyper aware of her surroundings and she does not trust anything she's being told / people she meets anymore. she's very attached to the past, but that too brings about too much unresolved trauma that ends up making her more stoic as time passes. she decides to take after her father and what people told her he was like — ultimately, at heart she will always be the same yuna, but time has consumed all her energy, and distanced herself from the one that would blindly see the good in the world. there is evil in the shadows and she knows she must put an end to all of it, which is also the reason why her body and mind seem to give in as years go by: her biggest fault is taking everything as her own responsibility. high summoners were always seen as saviors, as problem solvers, the shields of spira even literally, and now her internalized issue is that she thinks everything that may cause distress is hers to fix and solve. it's the main streamlined idea as to why i think she suffers the farpane's instability, even though realistically she cannot do anything about it. she knows that only the guado have the tools to maintain it, and yet she feels this need to take it upon herself to "fix" it.
she has shown savior complex a lot of times before, even in canon ( i think x-2 is the prime example. it's presented as a plotline with yuna being "selfish" and trying to live her life in spite of her past, but if you have played through it you know that in the end it's just her going place to place to fix things, taking things upon herself she does not need to — i mean, vegnagun itself was not something that she should have tasked herself with, even knowing that the crimson squad / new yevon / the youth league was on it way before her she still pursues it, and many more examples in the entirety of the plot honestly ) and i have reason to believe it is so internalized that it seems almost impossible to put a bandaid to it, which is why she takes onto the life long task of studying all of via infinito ( + all the hidden things beneath bevelle and possibly beneath zanarkand ruins tbh, there's no way the same isn't there ) when, truly, her role as spira's savior should have ended long ago.
#meta tag.#honestly i was just thinking that she has a lot of similiarities with ka.tniss ... .#because of the way they view their lives — u know how kat had to “fake” her life for the capitol;#i always think the same of yuna. she had to fake or act out some things for sure;#for the sake of spira / of bevelle most probably;#they truly all look up to her in a way that makes it so unhealthy.#it's like spira does not have any guidance anymore and she's the last standing hero —#spira has this habit of always having to look to someone to know what to do and think esp. yevonites;#sooo oooo yeah i . don't ask me anything about the political and social settings of spira post x i will COMBUST !#me writing long ass meta posts for no reason instead of studying? more likely than u think !#btw trema i hope u d*e ( AGAIN ) !
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Dang.
Resurrection day and cc!Tommy’s birthday and a good writing day and getting to spend time with baby cousins?? All on the same day???
#this was a very fun day :D#THE KING IS RISEN!!!!!!! YES!!!!!#listened to Christ And Christ Crucified earlier today—absolutely amazing song fantastic just wonderful just incredible one of my favorites#I actually heard it for the first time a year ago exactly! it was during the Easter service my church does :)#but yes amazing song amazing DAY Jesus is ALIVE!!!!#I actually didn’t realize it was Tommy’s birthday until today XD#can’t believe he’s 19 now oh my gosh :0#hope he had a good day :)#and writing okayokay; this past week has been pretty busy for me so I didn’t have as much time to write as I usually do#which has been a little frustrating#but I ended up writing over 1K words in about an hour (which was surprising sjsvsjdbwksvsi) and it felt… really really good#especially because I worked on two stories that I’ve been stuck with for a while. it was soooo nice to have inspiration for those again#me and a ton of family members all met up today to celebrate easter/hang out#MY BABY COUSINS I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM 😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#the youngest wanted me to read him a book (twice!!) and held onto my finger as he looked for plastic eggs outside and he just apsgsiagsskshw#and the oldest wanted me to play with her and she gave me a flower and said it was a BFF flower 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#my heart exploded#I love my baby cousins SO DARN MUCH#but anyway allll this to say: today has been good. really fun and kinda busy but really really good#my post#rambling in tags#I AM FILLED WITH SO MUCH HAPPINESS AND LOVE AND JOY
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good morning!
#honestly it feels nice having venti on my romantic list again#i'll try to post about him a couple times today to officially welcome him back <3#but other than that -- today should be a chill day bc sunday#i've been making progress on exploring the new desert area again (64% total :D)#maybe i'll make more progress today? or at least write another fic?#i really should make a tag for these morning posts#so they're all in one place for me to look back on later ^-^#morning rambles
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kiss it better
in which spencer notices your bruised knees and tries to make it up to you
18+ (fluff, allusions to past intimacy) warnings/tags: gn!reader i believe, reader has bruised knees lol, guess why, implied intimacy, hurt/comfort, sorta implied d/s dynamics maybe?? spencer is so smart and not very smart, but forever my no. 1 cutie pie a/n: why do i love writing about smut like before and after smut way more than i actually like writing smut LOL anyways here is this cause i haven't been posting very much!!! (also ik I said I don't like babe as a pet name but shhh) and GIF :D
“Hey,” you grunt as you flop on the bed in your pajamas, rumpling the neat covers. “Pay attention to me.”
Spencer holds his Sudoku off to the side and watches, eyebrows raised, as you scoot closer, tossing your leg over him. Soon he’s abandoning the book and pen on the bedside table in favor of hooking his fingers under your knee and stroking your leg, much to your delight.
“Okay. What kind of attention would you like?”
You allow him to put his other arm around you and settle your cheek on his shoulder.
“This is pretty good.”
“Oh, good,” he says with only a hint of teasing, leaning down slightly to kiss your lips and then the tip of your nose.
When he pulls away you can’t help smiling up at him like a lovestruck idiot. Obviously he’s perfect all the time, but in his glasses, with his hair messy, wearing a navy crewneck instead of a button up and tie… he’s just… he’s just so…
He’s just so alarmed?
“Honey, your knee.”
“My knee?” Your own brows furrow and you track his eye line, craning your neck to look down to the blotchy sprawl of purple and red marring your skin. “Oh.”
The pillow is soft under your head where it falls, unconcerned even as Spencer gawps at you, baffled by your nonchalance.
“What did you do?”
You snort.
“What did you do, Spencer?”
It’s cute, the way his lips move as he silently repeats the sentence, trying to discern the meaning of your words.
“What do you mean? I did something?”
“Babe.”
The knot between his brows has not loosened any—in fact you’re worried he’s going to give himself a headache. Or at least make himself dizzy, with the way his eyes cycle between your own. You try again, covering his anxious hand on the bend of your leg with your own.
“When we got back from Penelope’s thing, the other night?”
Slowly the understanding seeps into his expression—soft guilt in his eyes, and a deep red stain in his cheeks. At least his face relaxes.
“Oh.”
God, he’s so cute. He can’t hold eye contact, looking down once the shock of embarrassment has faded and swallowing, a little frown twisting his features once more. You reach up, brushing his cheek with a thumb and adjusting his glasses.
“What’s wrong?”
The question comes out too smiley, but you can’t help it.
“I hurt you,” he says, quietly, utterly ashamed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“I kinda think you did,” you tease, and Spencer says your name with a serious edge. You try to quit grinning so much. “Baby, it’s fine. You didn’t hurt me. Don’t you ever get mysterious bruises?”
His eyes are wide and honest on yours when he meets them again.
“No. My iron levels are optimal.”
Naturally.
“Okay, well, lots of people do. Sometimes I get a bruise and I have no idea what it’s from because it never hurt. These,” you look down, gesturing to your knee, “never hurt. It’s just what happens when your knees hit the floor.”
“Well you shouldn’t have been on the floor,” he scolds, countering with a sweet touch on your cheek. “I’m never letting you touch the floor ever again.”
Your shit-eating grin is back and better than ever. “Oh, so you’re going to carry me everywhere we go?”
“If that’s what it takes. I don’t like seeing you bruised up.”
“It’s okay. I bruised myself doing something I love.”
At this Spencer rolls his eyes and kisses you once more before gently pushing your leg away and getting out of bed.
“Where are you going?” You ask, all smugness gone and more concerned than you ought to be as he flicks the bathroom light on. For a moment you receive no answer, but then he reappears bearing a white tube.
“Give me your legs,” he says, sitting next to you on the bed. You swing your legs over his lap and watch on in mild interest as he dispenses lotion from the bottle and tosses it aside, carefully rubbing it into the bruised skin. Every few seconds he glances up to gauge your reaction, and though it’s definitely tender, you avoid wincing. “You don’t have to do that. I can tell it hurts.”
You laugh.
“Yeah, well, it didn’t until you started trying to fix it.” The ointment is pungent and you make a face. “What are you rubbing all over me?”
“This is vitamin K and Arnica. It will make the bruises go away faster.”
“Aw. You don’t think they’re pretty on me?”
He sets the bottle on the nightstand and retrieves the pen he’d been doing Sudoku with earlier, uncapping it. Your heart swells as he draws tiny sad faces by the bruises on your knees, glasses slipping down his nose as he focuses intently.
“I always think you’re pretty. I just never want you to be hurt, ever.”
“Are you done taking care of me now?” You ask, reaching out for him. The pen joins the bottle and suddenly he has no concern for your bodily health, practically crushing you with a hug. When he speaks it’s muffled by your shoulder.
“Never.”
You hum, nose tickled in his hair and forming a dastardly plan.
“You could kiss them better.”
Spencer laughs and presses his lips briefly to your neck.
“I might just do that.”
#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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#ig wouldnt let me post the word whore. coward.#had to blur it.#not happy with this but. again. drew it in a single day. ya know. to see. what i can accomplish. in a day. and to. let go.#sigh.#Kyle. Age 23. Secretary. Loyal Ambassador. And Emissary to Renais. Never learned how to fuckin' write.#c-c fk#fk#WHY DO WAX SEAL STAMPS LOOK SO PH*LL*C#Spent roughly 3 whole entire hours fiddling with the color balance on this one and i still dont like it.#WHATEVER my yt thumbnail.#omg do i have a masoch*sm k*nk?#ive already come to terms with the fact that i have a sir one thanks to d*ck g*mshoe of all ppl -eye roll emoji-#not how i wanted to learn that but it is what it is.#m fk#i just think kyle acts like a fucking idiot in private probably. granted he acts that way in public too . afucking idiot i mean. but like a#different KIND of idiot.#there are multiple. in public its like. jackasss hypocrite idiot. in private its . dumbass idiot.#yes baby yes i'm romantic and jackasss. yes baby yes if u want just kick my ass.#fucking insane to em that i only draw 1 singular character over and over again but im such a bad *rtist he NEVER looks the same. i said#this b4 but like i swear i have to opposite of same face syndrome. i cant fucking draw the same face twice like ive been stuck up on this#for awhile. i abso fucking lutely do not have a consistent artstyle. its all over the goddamn place. its mine. yes. but. its hard to explai#its like. OH i drew that No one else would draw like that. but simultaneously its not consistent in the slightest. yet theres smthn about i#that makes it mine. makes no sense. its kinda wacky idk. i think its just my shapes perhaps? only defining factor. bc im a really bad artis#so i have the flattest shapes imaginable. and then i try and compensate for it by overrendering. and its like. im literally not good at#a single thing in the 'art' process. like everyone has strengths and weaknesses apparently. or so im told... yet ive always felt i neither#excelled in any category NOR was i horridly TERRIBLE at anything per se. im just. painfully average at everything. so naturally#thats how all my art ends up looking collectively. painfully average and mediocre and amateur are how my finished works are.#like its not TERRIBLE i guess. but it's DEFINITELY not GOOD either.#like a jack of all trades. except my name is not jack and im far too disabled to be in a trade. so. not like a jack of all trades at all hu#god i dont shut up do i .
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*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?
#hello :D so I've been missing since September- scheduled queue aside#Life was stressing me out and I needed to cool off to focus on wrapping up the year else I'd lose it#then Life got worse by Sep-Oct (y'know. horrible real life events + personal stuff + holy shit I need to learn how to Adult)#forgot my password for a while so I was mostly on Twitter and it was Not Fun (and it still isn't)#and I remembered it by the end of January where I was getting most of my shit together and was mostly on Discord with friends#who were the reason I wasn't completely losing it so if you're reading this. thank you and I love you very much <3#but I missed being on Tumblr and the friends/moots i made. just got nervous to come back here. idk why. brain works in weird ways.#it looks like I'm justifying why I wasn't here and on one hand. yeah it's kind of an update#but it's mostly because I don't like going out and returning like stuff wasn't happening so it's really a me thing so anxiety won't spike#idk if I'm gonna go missing like that again or not but. yeah i'm still alive#(felt good to write that last phrase so maybe *something's* going right in life)#but yeah i think i'm back (not 100% because. Life) and will do a pinned. if you read all of it thank you! :D#okay i'm gonna post this now before my brain decides it's a bad idea-
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a decade ignoring the reader?...suguru please
I KNOWWWW OMFG HE’S SO !!!!! like it’s wild bc he doesn’t wanna be around reader BECAUSE he thinks his thoughts about non-sorcerers would be as bad as they were in hs! (in this au, i think he kinda got over it overall… he knows it’s stupid to think there’d be a world w/o non-sorcerers… ESP if reader is still alive… bc reader would absolute decimate suguru & any of his plans had he gone rogue — another reason why he didn’t go through w his murderous ideals, he knows he would’ve lost.)
but over time i think he begins to live… normally? and by the time he takes up his tokyo offer, he thinks enough time has gone by now that he can finally meet reader and not lose his absolute marbles 😭 he doesn’t wanna make a fool of himself/revert back to his old ways… and i think he just has a lot of SHAME with how he… ended things w reader… i’ll get more into it in the fic but that’s the gist! a decade really was the amount of time for him to kinda get his shit together and be comfortable enough to exist again & be at a better headspace mentally/emotionally!
#asks#anon#i just hope the timeframe makes sense as i write it#it’s linear but i’m just wondering how i should go about it when it comes to suguru in kyoto & reader in tokyo#that part might be shorter but i mainly wanna focus on pre-leaving & post-coming back!#mind you that reader is unaware of a lot of the things going on too… they’re fr just killing & having a giggle w their students a majority#of the time 😭😭😭#suguru: pain agony mental illness 💔💔💔#reader: yuji look at me balancing on this sword :3#P.S. reader isn’t a teacher in this fic! they’re kinda there as a weapons/fighting handler!#they teach the kids how to fight but they aren’t. a Teacher like how satoru & suguru & utahime are#btw thank you for being interested enough to ask questions i LOVE answering questions like this so much 🥰#it helps me flesh out the ideas/characters a bit more too :D so thanks again!
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