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#look at me posting writing again :D
mochiwrites · 1 month
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“G!” Scar grins as he sees the other approaching his train. He jumps down the ladder, landing with wobbly feet as he makes contact with the ground. “Just the birdie I was looking for!”
Grian lifts a brow, “Oh? What a coincidence. I was looking for you as well.” His wings flutter and twitch in response, folding neatly against his back. “Got any diamonds to spare?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve run out of diamonds again,” Scar tuts as he shakes his head in disapproval. Grian grimaces in answer, earning a disappointed sigh from the zoo keeper. “For shame, sir!”
“Just be happy I’m not skimming from the top of Ore Mountain again.” Grian squints at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Can I borrow a few or what?”
Scar makes a show of thinking about it, dramatizing his hum and tapping his chin. “You happen to have amayzin’ timing, considering I had something to give you.”
“Oh?” Grian tilts his head, looking at the other with curiosity. “Do I get the diamonds too?”
“Oh yes, of course, of course!” Scar joyfully nods, his warm smile not doing a single thing to cover up his salesman voice (as Grian has so lovingly dubbed it). “This would be an exchange of goods, after all! It’s only fair you’re compensated for your time!”
Grian stares at him for a second, eyes just shy of a squint. He doesn’t think there’s really an exchange going on, considering he’s not giving Scar anything in return; besides his presence, that is. He could point out to Scar that this isn’t an equal trade (barely a trade at all, really), but where would the fun in that be? He kind of wants to see where Scar is going with this.
Plus if he really feels bad about whatever this is, Grian can always find some way to repay Scar later.
Wings fluttering against his back, he shrugs. “Okay.”
“Great!” Scar beams at him, clapping his hands together. “Alright, I need you to stay perfectly still, no twitching a single feather, mister! Oh, and close your eyes too!” he directs the avian, earning an odd look from Grian.
“O…kay..?” Doing as told, Grian closes his eyes, curious. It’s definitely some surprise Scar has for him. But what is it? And why? He hasn’t missed any birthdays or anniversaries, has he? Maybe he can take a little peek… Scar never said anything about keeping his Watcher Eyes closed.
As if reading his thoughts, he hears Scar exclaim, “Yes that includes your funky magic eyeballs too, you pesky bird!”
Drat.
Grian sighs, resolving himself to the agony of waiting patiently. How horrible. Scar should feel terrible for making him wait like this. The build up is killing him! He’s eager with anticipation!
His breath stills as he feels Scar’s presence get closer to him. Grian can feel the warmth of his exhales as he releases them, all gentle and soft. Scar makes a few concentrated noises, and Grian can imagine the way his tongue pokes out from his mouth just slightly. He waits before feeling something being carefully set on his head, gentle palms combing through his hair. The feeling is followed by soft lips against his nose, as well as a little laugh as he scrunches his face.
“Okay, now open your eyes!”
Grian squints against the sunlight as his eyes open again, having to blink a few times before he looks at Scar in front of him. It takes him a second to notice anything different, setting a hand on top of his hair as he looks at the zoo keeper. He feels soft petals under his fingers, and finds that Scar has a crown made of sunflowers nestled in his hair. “Flower crowns?” he asks, confused.
“I made us matching ones!” Scar exclaims, his smile growing impossibly larger. “See I got the idea from Pearl after talking with her about doing a gift shop for the zoo—because you can’t have a zoo and no gift shop, that’s criminal!— and then bayum, it hit me! I’ll sell flower crowns as one of the items since I’ve got sniffers!” He gestures with his hands as he speaks, and Grian is captured by every word from the brilliant man. “I don’t even have a single enclosure of the zoo done yet but oh Grian I got so inspired, I had to do something with the idea!”
Grian can’t help his fond look as he sets a hand on his hip. “So you made some flower crowns?”
Scar eagerly nods, “Yup! I made them with you in mind so… who better to share the first try with than my pretty bird?”
The feathers on Grian’s wings fluff up at that. “You’ve got to be the biggest sap I know,” he sighs, although he finds the gesture incredibly sweet. “Though I have to ask, how is this an exchange? I’m not giving you anything.”
“Sure you are,” Scar argues, turning to set down his ender chest. “I get customer feedback and a free excuse to see you smile!” He looks at Grian, pleased, before ducking down to dig into his ender chest.
Grian decides right then and there that he’s going to kiss this man silly. Then he’s going to properly repay him.
(And if Grian leaves him a small arrangement of flowers on top of the shulker box of sniffer eggs? Well. Scar knows exactly who they’re from.)
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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cerise-on-top · 9 months
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HELOOOOOOO IM BACKKK
can we get some Valeria Garza headcanons? :p
LOVE UR WORK AS ALWAYS DRINK WATER BYEBYEEE
-☁️
Hello! Welcome back :> I wasn't sure if you wanted general HCs or romantic ones, so I did both! I hope they're enjoyable! In regards to these HCs, there's one mention of drugs, but the HCs are about Valeria, so that's to be expected!
Also, to anyone reading this: Merry Christmas and/or happy holidays! I'm saying this today because in my country we celebrate Christmas today and not on the 25th! I'm wishing you all a few lovely days ahead :-)
General:
Playing games of any kind with her is actually infuriating and almost unfair. You’d think games like Monopoly would be fair since it’s based on luck for the most part, but no. I can assure you Valeria could set a world record on beating someone at Monopoly. But it’s not just that game either. You wanna poker with her? Tycoon? Sixty-Six? Granted, they require some skill as well, but she uses her nogging on a daily basis, so it’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s doing. And even if you only explained the rules to her once, she’ll beat you soon enough. Might also be prone to cheating, but you’ll only ever accuse her of doing so whenever she actually wasn’t. It’s not illegal or forbidden if no one ever finds out. The stakes can be pretty high, she’s not afraid to play for money either. But I advise you to maybe play over gummy bears or lollipops or something. She won’t be happy, she will complain, but it beats losing all your money to a businesswoman of her caliber.
When she was a kid she actually didn’t mind Christmas all that much, she quite liked it. It was colorful, it was bright, it was nice. Her parents may not have been the richest people, but she usually got what she wanted for Christmas as well, so it wasn’t a particularly sad time for her back then. Even now her cartel is doing well during that time since people like to fill the gaping holes within their hearts with drugs so they won’t have to think about being alone and freezing during such a festive time. She doesn’t get jolly like she used to, she won’t even wear a Christmas hat, but she can appreciate Christmas, if just for her earning a bit more money than she normally would. You can even give her gifts during this time. Depending on who they’re from and what it is, she might just throw them away, but if it’s something nice from someone she’s close with then she might just keep it for a little while longer. Although Valeria would never admit it, she does like cookies quite a lot. She can’t bake particularly well, not that she has the time for that either, but that won’t stop her from eating a few whenever she receives some from a trustworthy source. There is an elderly lady in Las Almas who she likes to buy them from occasionally. That lady is a real sweetheart, so Valeria is sure the cookies aren’t poisoned.
No one ever gets to enjoy it anymore these days, but Valeria can cook pretty well. She learned how to very early on so she could relieve her mother a bit from her burdens, but it stuck with her. She has a real knack for how much spice you put in which dish. Yes, she’s a bit rusty since she hasn’t cooked for herself in quite a while, but if you’re her s/o and you’re sick, you might just receive some birria or carne guisada. It’ll be unlike anything you’ve ever tasted. Her food is a bit spicy, so if you’re not used to spicy food it can and will leave you teary eyed, but it’s really good. Naturally, her specialties include, for the most part, Mexican dishes only. But, in theory, you could give her any recipe and it would turn out just fine. Except for anything sweet. Sweets she cannot do at all, they’ll always turn out terrible. It used to get to her when she was young, but these days she couldn’t care less. She isn’t anyone’s housewife, so why should she care? Back in the day when she still had time for dating someone properly, a telltale sign she was mad at you would be her cooking for you, but making it unbearably spicy. Valeria could always eat it, she can eat any spicy pepper as a snack just like that and not be bothered at all.
Romantic:
It doesn’t matter who you are, Valeria will always be the dominant person among the two of you. Her personality alone won’t allow for much else, but there are also other circumstances as well. Besides, she’s been in the military and she can tell you from experience that the people there don’t think too highly of women. Ergo she wants to prove herself to be above those morons, especially Alejandro. While she might not be affectionate at all in public, it’s the small things in private that really show you who’s in control. Beckoning you closer with her finger, telling you how much of a good thing you are for her, moving you a bit so she can get to something she needs. Granted, it’s nothing big, she won’t put a collar on you, but she will do what she can to make you feel smaller than you actually are. It doesn’t matter if you’re 1,50m or 2m tall, whether you’re looking up at her or down on her, you will treat her with utmost respect. While she might seem degrading or mocking very often, she does take your feelings into account as well. If her being mean to you genuinely hurts you then she will do what she can to tone it down a bit. She won’t stop entirely, but she’ll better herself. You’re welcome to sass her back a bit, though. If it’s just some light joking around she won’t mind. Sass her back too hard and you will be put into place, though.
Going off of one of the previous points I made: Once Valeria loves you, she is completely and entirely committed to you. It doesn’t matter what you want, you’ll get it within days. You want someone’s head? Absolutely, no questions asked. Even something smaller, such as some clothing, jewelry, a video game console, a plushie. You name it, you’ll get it. You’re her everything in this rotten world, of course she’ll do what she can to keep you happy. And if one of those goons from the army ever tries to hurt you, then even the ninth layer of hell will seem like the greatest mercy the heavens and hell could muster. She’s fiercely protective over you. While she won’t kidnap you, she wants to keep you happy, after all, she will try to convince you to live with her. Somewhere in a place no one knows about, where it’s only you and her without a worry for those two pests, Alejandro and Rodolfo. If you ever were to meet those two then I can assure you, you’ll never see Valeria this angry again. She loathes those two men with her entire being. Not that she has a very high opinion of men to begin with. If one ever decides to lay his grubby, disgusting hands on you, regardless of whether it’s some guy from the streets or the president of the United States, he can say goodbye to his head.
As I said before, she’s a really good cook. In fact, she’s good at just about anything you can think of. Well, almost. Either way, she’d love it if you could cook well. In fact, having someone who’s willing to be a housespouse is a dream come true. She won’t always be able to come home to you immediately, but if she finds you having cooked her a delicious, hearty meal, she’ll be on cloud nine. But even if your food isn’t anything noteworthy she’ll still eat it because it’s from you. She may be a cruel woman at times, but Valeria does care about you and tries not to hurt your feelings too much. At best, not at all. If she comes home to your shared home being well taken care of by you, with you having cleaned all the rooms as well as all the clothes that needed washing, you’ll have earned something nice from her. If you aren’t able to do so, no worries, she can always just hire some personnel to take care of it. But if it was you, then just name what you want from her. You want some cuddles or a kiss? Naturally. Some tres leches or churros? She won’t make them herself, but you can bet she’ll get you some regardless. If she’s especially tired some sweet words might be exchanged as well, but don’t expect her to be like that every time. Sometimes she does want to be a bit sweeter than usual, tell you how grateful she is to have you, but she’s afraid you might think of her a bit less than before, even if it wouldn’t happen. So, while she may not be someone who enjoys giving words of affirmation unless she needs to, you can count on her showing you affection through gift giving and quality time.
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good-beanswrites · 9 months
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Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins Archive 🎥
This is just so I can reference au things and keep details organized lol, I'll edit this post and try to keep it updated
Original Post/fic link
Original Art (by waivyjellyfish)
Extra Thoughts
Song Ask
Song Drabble
Scripted Harm Ask 1
Scripted Harm Ask 2
Scripted Harm Ask 3
Scripted Harm Drabble
Movie Night Ask 1
Movie Night Ask 2
Cover Song Ask 1
Cover Song Ask 2
Misc Thoughts Ask
MV Es Ask
Es/Jailbreak Team Ask 1
Es/Jailbreak Team Ask 2
Kazui Makeup Ask
Kazui Makeup Drabble
Kotoko Thumbnail Drabble
Hair Growth Ask
Yuno fic "Fell and Found Out" (by amugoffandoms)
Order of Attack AU Drabble
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Read a Twitter thread a few days ago how Katsuki, Izuku and Tomura are meant to be the pillars of hope and change for hero society (by Kikibats, go check her out, the thread is her pinned tweet), and that got me thinking about Tomura's birth name, so I looked up the kanji for his name (志村 転弧, for those curious), and I wanted to share.
(someone probably already did make this connection and worded it better but screw it we bail let's go-)
Kikibats' thread has mentioned what "Shimura" could have originally meant In-Universe, especially "Mura", so it's about a paragraph short, because I'm writing what it could mean in the story as it is (again, In-Universe):
So from the name Shimura Tenko, we have:
Shi (志):
"Determination, ambition, intent", which Tenko does have, arguably even more than Izuku has (I mean, running around barely sleeping while facing Gigantomachia for three months? spending four months in a tube and resurrecting by sheer anger?), but ambitious is after realizing his convictions and intends to carry on the League's. It can also refer to “will” as in willpower, the one trait AFO doesn't have, and the reason he was selected as his vessel.
Mura (村):
Mentioned in her thread, but "Village", could be an ironic spin on “it takes a village to raise a child”, since after his family's death no one was willing to take him in, and the one who did only did so to groom him into a monster. It could also refer to a heroic trait he has (yes, even as he was annoyed at Toya and Himiko when he first met them): taking people in when he thinks they're lonely, have been rejected, wronged by society and wanting to carry on their convictions, which leads to:
Ten (転):
a verb; "to shift", and sure enough, he's the one who created the Vanguard Action Squad with the purpose of kidnapping Katsuki, setting off the Kamino Incident and shifting the status quo of society. You could argue he has been since the USJ but no one really feared him until Stain came along. Tomura is also one of the characters whose goals and motivations develop the most through the story.
It can also mean "to turn", from changed from the sweet kid who wanted to play heroes with his friends, to a symbol of fear. And physically, he's the willing participant in Dr. Garaki's body experimentation and his body is constantly shapeshifted depending on his (and AFO's) mental state.
Finally, “Ko” (弧):
The kanji for “arc”, which is admittedly very vague and it could mean nothing, but.
It could refer to the arc he goes through.
From a kid playing with those others ignored who wanted to be a hero, to being groomed into the Symbol of Evil('s puppet), which eventually unravels once he becomes powerful enough to fight Izuku, resulting in the reveal that in spite of all what he’s been through, he’s still that kid willing to extend his hand (well, in a metaphorical way) for those who want/need someone to rely on. Someone who wants to be the LoV's hero.
Not quite a full circle, but still not too far off from his beginning.
A bonus point, since we (readers and watchers who like to read the raws/watch subbed anime) use "Ko" we usually think of "子" as in komodo, the kanji for "kid", this one abandoned by a complacent village. And remember since Izuku wants to offer him a hand, a crying lonely child in need of a hero. With AFO taking control of him, while Izuku (and most of Class 1-A) trying to save him, wouldn't it be neat to see Tomura choosing to take Izuku's hand, especially someone whose identity was forcefully defined by a touch of death?
Not quite the same innocent kid, but still the kid who wanted to be a hero for those left behind.
Would be fitting for this arc to come full circle, wouldn't it?
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gothsuguru · 4 months
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rouge-fauna · 4 days
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I'm a c!Tommy fan and didn't mind your aspd c!Tommy post. I don't think it was ableist. I don't exactly agree with it either though but you have a right to say it and not get talked about behind your back. I'm sorry that happened. I would probably send an ask about my interpretation in the distant future once all this has calmed down and the abundance of c!Tommy asks have stopped 😅 ❤️
I really appreciate you saying that. :) I’m glad I haven’t pissed everyone off lol, whether you agree or don’t, or like c!Tommy or don't. I mean I personally don't think it's really right to talk badly about people behind their back anyways, but it certainly does feel a little unreasonable to call me dumb, crazy and delusional without even trying to have a conversation with me. What's sad is that there are points to be made and would have been interesting to discuss like an alternative diagnosis or looking more at the diagnosing criteria. Like this is not a hill I would die on, it's not my favorite analysis or take, it's just an opinion and viewpoint I shared with reasons why, the context of which was actually countering the argument of people calling c!Dream a psychopath.
And while I'm at it, I would like to note a few things. In the essay I didn't even call c!Tommy evil or ASPD evil, and I have tried to be very clear that by no means do I believe c!Tommy deserved to be abused in Exile or any other time. And in regards to the alignment chart, I really disliked that analysis anyways. It just doesn't really work. It's a simplified tool for dnd to help people stay to character, but how do you decide what is good, lawful, and evil in a story where, as I have talked about so many times, there is no true system of laws or government, and no widely accepted bounds of morality... So just to be clear, I will reiterate - no one deserves abuse, I do not think c!Tommy is "evil" or the "Bad guy" and I do not think there is a dsmp character who is. And while it may seem like I have a vendetta or am targeting c!Tommy specifically, that's just where discussion has lead recently, mostly because of the finale, anons, and also because of noticing how often c!Tommy calls c!Dream a psychopath I thought it was interesting to look at how it might be the other way around...
Also... I guess... I don't know, aren't y'all bored of having the same old discussions and takes on c!Dream, c!Tommy, c!Wilbur, c!Punz, c!Tubbo... etc over and over? Is it not fun to look at things in a different way and say - what if this is true or - that is true and how does that change things? Is it not interesting to take the same story and lore and see if it can be seen still canonically in a different way? I mean, applying diagnosis is never going to fit perfectly, not just because I'm a 23 year old autistic engineer not a psychologist of any kind, but also mostly because we only have a set chaotic few years of them to look at with no past to base on. But beyond that, isn't it fun and interesting to see if it fits, if it provides an explanation for behavior we didn't have before? Is it so wrong of me to try and see if there are fun new ways of looking at lore instead of having detailed ships and aus?...
Anyways sorry, I may have gotten carried away there, it has been a long Monday. Regardless, it is a shame that it ruined the chance for actual exciting productive conversation and discussion to happen, because I can't say I am not curious on your interpretation. Guess we will just circle back around to it (it seems to be inevitable at his point lol) <3 <3 <3
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despairforme · 1 month
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Miss you! Works kicking my ass but you're loved and missed. Well maybe not the elf but I still 🤣🤣
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[ ** hugs you ** ;O;// <5 I miss you too! Cue the battle music as we ride to face work. Hope you get some time to chill out soon. Sending you love and strength!! Also we are noting you said "maybe" so we will take that as Nnoitra growing on him u v u // . ]
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sysig · 1 year
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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea
Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts
OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)
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^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol
One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D
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It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha
And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!
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#Long post#There have been others of course - things like BunBonBop and TMatM and quite a handful of original species lol#I was also involved in an IZRP that got very in depth which is where Bar comes from actually!#As well as my brief stint into being a TGWDLM askblog lol soz to everyone over there ouq#And little stories like Karera no Kotogara and Yanderapy but those mostly set in cartoon-reality y'know?#No magic or sci fi there haha#Man looking back through the OSG stuff kinda makes me wanna unstore Ch. 0 - I've grown a lot since then!#To the point where it almost doesn't feel ''mine'' anymore haha - it has been almost ten years! Maybe to celebrate its anniversary :)#Also yeah if you look hard enough I've been in love with and inspired by Vargas for as long as I've known about it haha#AGE was so much fun <3 I would like to get back to it someday but picking back up after so long is hard!#I still hold all of them fondly of course ♥ Mar especially since they were the tipping point for me loving spiders :D#It's hard to believe Just Desserts is already four years deep! It still feels so new to me haha#I know I big up Charm and her design a lot lol but for me it really is exactly what I want <3 It's my perfect :)#I still really want to get into 3D modeling to make her as I originally envisioned her!#If I had the funds I'd absolutely commission someone but tbh I don't know many names on that side of art haha#I've also heard about people who give advice/brainstorming sessions for magic systems and I've been intrigued ever since :0#I'd love to sit down with someone and hash out Exactly how their magic works! It feels like it just needs a few more pushes!#Then again that's what I said about the TVAU outfits too haha ♪ Maybe it would all fall into place!#To the base question tho: I never know how to qualify ''implemented'' - does just putting it out there as a concept count?#Writing a story? Making a comic? A series? Polished? Completed?? Where's the line haha#I'm always so full of ideas but focusing on anything long enough to make it ''pretty'' is so hard for me still#I just keep creating never stopping haha
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braskide · 9 months
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i had some thoughts about this kinda idea before but it came to me again last night — i often think about how hard life gets for yuna after she becomes high summoner. living in spira as a popular religious figure just intensifies the process of trying to live your days with trauma you cannot ever fully process + forming bonds that are meaningful / do not feel false because even in x-2 new yevon ( or the youth league ) tried to take advantage of that, for example ( seeking her as approval to gain spira's general appreciation, trying an arranged marriage between the high summoner + the praetor and whatnot ). everyone would want the approval of the high summoner, and thus it becomes basically impossible for yuna to do things that go under the radar. i think people in spira need a long time to learn what it is like to live life without sin, and so falling into the old habits is very effective, especially when they've been perpetuated for decades. i have this idea that they would easily try to see meaning behind anything yuna were to do, because of her influential status as a) braska's daughter, b) a high summoner, c) the only living high summoner, and the list could go on with other features such as two times saviour, seymour's widow possibly having some influence on it as well for the most old yevonites / guados? all of that has meaning in front of the eyes of the believers — i mean, all of spira, really.
my thought is that yuna is not naive the way she was, and now knows the way of her world, and especially knows that everyone is selfish in their own pursuits to some degree. so i've mentioned before how over time she tends to close in itself and as a result not speak much anymore / freely as she once did, part of the reason i would say is because she knows she needs to weight her words now; she would freely express herself in her entirety before, when she knew her life had a deadline and that her words would be used perhaps to do good once she was gone, but now that she's the first of a long series of sacrificial high summoners she does not know who to look back to for an example to follow, and she is setting in stone the end of all summoners who were seen as so high, and she the highest of them all.
i think another expression of that is also her inability to form meaningful new bonds. she's hyper aware of her surroundings and she does not trust anything she's being told / people she meets anymore. she's very attached to the past, but that too brings about too much unresolved trauma that ends up making her more stoic as time passes. she decides to take after her father and what people told her he was like — ultimately, at heart she will always be the same yuna, but time has consumed all her energy, and distanced herself from the one that would blindly see the good in the world. there is evil in the shadows and she knows she must put an end to all of it, which is also the reason why her body and mind seem to give in as years go by: her biggest fault is taking everything as her own responsibility. high summoners were always seen as saviors, as problem solvers, the shields of spira even literally, and now her internalized issue is that she thinks everything that may cause distress is hers to fix and solve. it's the main streamlined idea as to why i think she suffers the farpane's instability, even though realistically she cannot do anything about it. she knows that only the guado have the tools to maintain it, and yet she feels this need to take it upon herself to "fix" it.
she has shown savior complex a lot of times before, even in canon ( i think x-2 is the prime example. it's presented as a plotline with yuna being "selfish" and trying to live her life in spite of her past, but if you have played through it you know that in the end it's just her going place to place to fix things, taking things upon herself she does not need to — i mean, vegnagun itself was not something that she should have tasked herself with, even knowing that the crimson squad / new yevon / the youth league was on it way before her she still pursues it, and many more examples in the entirety of the plot honestly ) and i have reason to believe it is so internalized that it seems almost impossible to put a bandaid to it, which is why she takes onto the life long task of studying all of via infinito ( + all the hidden things beneath bevelle and possibly beneath zanarkand ruins tbh, there's no way the same isn't there ) when, truly, her role as spira's savior should have ended long ago.
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Dang.
Resurrection day and cc!Tommy’s birthday and a good writing day and getting to spend time with baby cousins?? All on the same day???
#this was a very fun day :D#THE KING IS RISEN!!!!!!! YES!!!!!#listened to Christ And Christ Crucified earlier today—absolutely amazing song fantastic just wonderful just incredible one of my favorites#I actually heard it for the first time a year ago exactly! it was during the Easter service my church does :)#but yes amazing song amazing DAY Jesus is ALIVE!!!!#I actually didn’t realize it was Tommy’s birthday until today XD#can’t believe he’s 19 now oh my gosh :0#hope he had a good day :)#and writing okayokay; this past week has been pretty busy for me so I didn’t have as much time to write as I usually do#which has been a little frustrating#but I ended up writing over 1K words in about an hour (which was surprising sjsvsjdbwksvsi) and it felt… really really good#especially because I worked on two stories that I’ve been stuck with for a while. it was soooo nice to have inspiration for those again#me and a ton of family members all met up today to celebrate easter/hang out#MY BABY COUSINS I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM 😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#the youngest wanted me to read him a book (twice!!) and held onto my finger as he looked for plastic eggs outside and he just apsgsiagsskshw#and the oldest wanted me to play with her and she gave me a flower and said it was a BFF flower 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#my heart exploded#I love my baby cousins SO DARN MUCH#but anyway allll this to say: today has been good. really fun and kinda busy but really really good#my post#rambling in tags#I AM FILLED WITH SO MUCH HAPPINESS AND LOVE AND JOY
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good morning!
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halorocks1214 · 2 years
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me deleting the tumblr bookmark on my computer and the app on my homescreen the night before bcuz i wanted to force myself into a break since i wasn’t feel great about Other Things getting back online One Time to check my notifs before i go to bed
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#so. ive been pretty detatched from m/c/y/t as a whole recently. not to the point that ill abandon fics#but enough that i only engage with content directly on my dash (no going into the tags is what im saying)#for now im just gonna chill. maybe write those other fandom fics i mentioned on my writing blog since the hobbies taking up most of my time#have been wrung a little dry lol#mostly im just gonna wait and see how this plays out. i plan to start writing for m/c/y/t again eventually of course#as for d/s/m/p related stuff that could be Officially Done Finally.#any completed fic will stay up. the WIPS will at the very least be orphaned (if not outright deleted)#this is worse case scenario Everything Plays Out Badly tho (i guess if you can say it hasnt already)#i think im gonna fully uninstall/logout. i didnt want to logout bcuz resigning in is annoying but that looks like what its gonna take F#mutuals feel free to ask for my discord over a tumblr ask in case any of yall wanna talk while im Offline and Touching Grass For Once#regardless of mutual status if you wanna send in an ask i might pop in to answer it and then pop back out#mainly because i rarely get asks anyway LMAO i highly doubt ill get any now#i say use an ask bcuz i get emails for those. comments and/or dms dont reach me outside of tumblr#i think what will bring me back the soonest is if i actually sit down and watch cour 2 of season two for t/&/b YES I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET#cringefail moment i know#otherwise thats basically where ive been. i have a bunch of funny videos saved in my likes that ill queue for yall#as well as some fandom posts in my drafts ill sprinkle in there#drink water stay safe etc etc#i will see yall on the flipside <3#oh also b4 i forget VOTE SNIFFER
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pixiel · 1 year
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Old Tumblr Dashboard (Userstyle)!!
I created a Userstyle for the Chrome/Firefox Stylus Extension that reverts the new dashboard to the old format. This took a lot of tweaking and it's not perfect at all, but if anyone wants it I'll be uploading it soonish now!
You need to have Stylus installed. So if you don't have it:
Install the Stylus Firefox Addon or the Chrome Extension (You can install Chrome Extensions on Edge as well)
Once it's installed into Firefox/Chrome/Edge you can proceed with adding this style or any other.
To add the style, follow the instructions:
Go to this link: https://userstyles.world/style/11286/old-tumblr-dashboard-july-2023
Click on "install".
Style will open a tag with it and in the left side you'll have a button that says "install style", click there. (Step-by-step copied from the lovely dorothyoz39 who wrote this in a reply!) If you don't want the sticky header you can remove the labelled script at the top of the css below /* Sticky Header*/
Be sure to check for updates regularly and if you'd like, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi https://ko-fi.com/pixiel !
..::::HOW TO UPDATE::::..
click the Manage button on Stylus and click the check for update button next to the userstyle, then click again to install!
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Make sure to check the Userstyle and see if the version number matches the one below if you don't see any changes!
NEW UPDATE: 12/09/24 (D/M/Y), )1:34PM BST v14.9
v13.4: Added a way to fix the communities icon position if you don't have the New Xkit button or have hidden any of the icons. Just remove the highlighted /* */ pair in the code for what you need.
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V13.5 & v13.7: Nuked the Go Premium button - Re-positioned the search bar on search pages v13.10: Changed a lot of the new look for replies - it's not perfect yet mind. Small bug with the "..." menu moving to the left with shorter replies. Looks a lot more like the old replies section though! Made it possible to remove the reply to reply button just search for "NEW Replies UI" in the userstyle and remove the /* */ around "display: none" OR use Ublock to block the element! v14.1: Reverted the "Original Poster" border + text to look like old version. Edit: Whoops, fixed an issue with showing the timestamps v14.4: Chat fix v14.7: Fixed the icons in the header and removed the text again!
Tumblr Post Width & More (OTD+ Userstyle) Is now available!!
OTD+ is an add on for Old Tumblr dashboard that you can use to edit the Post Width, Content Positioning & More - It must be used with Old Tumblr Dashboard installed as well on the latest update!
THE CREATOR OF THIS USERSTYLE SUPPORTS THEIR TRANS SISTERS. WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!
Check the readmore for the changelog, custom code & known issues!
----- Known issues:
Only two columns in Masonry view. Unfixable, Tumblr creates columns based on monitor size, if I try adding another column (because it doesn't exist) it just perpetually loads on screen. Tempfix: Zoom out in chrome/firefox and it adds more columns
Search bar doesn't appear on some pages (like viewing a post), this is because Tumblr removed the search bar on those pages completely. Unfixable!
Tumblr has ONCE AGAIN CHANGED THE ACCOUNTS MENU. The menus are now shorter and have less information on them. This is unfortunately permanent. I do not see any way to fix this. Unfixable.
If you want people's icons to stay fixed in place, instead of scrolling with the dashboard add;
.FtjPK .AD_w7 .JZ10N, .RYkKH > .nZ9l5 { top: 0px !important; position: relative !important; }
to the top of the code! You can also create a second userstyle by clicking the 'tumblr.com' part of the link in 'Write new Style' and adding the code in there! That way you don't have to worry about re-adding it when you update.
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Solved issues: (Update)
Menus need to be manually closed SOLVED! in V.4 and updated in V.5! The menu & icon WILL scroll with you if you have removed the sticky header CSS, however, clicking anywhere on screen will make the Menu disappear still.
Masonry view in searches is now fixed!
Resized Messenger Chat Box!
NEW UPDATE 16/08/23, 23:55 BST v6.5: Figured out how to reorganise the icons in the header. Let me know if you have any problems with it and make sure to update your Userstyle! Some icons are hidden with Display: Block; you can hide more icons with this method!
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Solved issues p2
Brought back SOME of the icons for Tumblrs latest update - Unfortunately, this does not bring back user icons for Reblogged posts! Make sure to yell at Tumblr for removing the icons as well as the horrible dashboard update here! v7.5 Fixed icons for all posts and put them back where they came from!
v6.9.6.9 (I promise this is the last funny number): Fuck Off Buggy The Clown Update + All languages support for the old header design!
v7.0: Fixed the search bar for tumblrs new collections feature, so it looks like the original search bar!
v8.0: Fixed masonry view icons, hidden the reblog icon on dashboard icons, fixed icons in blog viewport
V8.1: Fixed issue with icons not working on soft-refresh & with endless scrolling disabled - be sure to complain to staff!
v9.3: Changed a few things with the search feature, I also made the posts less round.
UPDATE2 11/04/2024: SO We mighhtttt have overrun their servers. 😅 I'm getting a 500 Internal Server Error every time I try to fix it or upload it as a new style - the massive influx of people downloading the userstyle was probably too much. The Tampermonkey backup on Greasyfork works just fine though! Probably easier for a lot of people migrating anyway! UPDATE 11/04/2024:: My code has broken on Userstyles.world, (it is now fixed as of 12/04/24) until this is fixed I have created a Tampermonkey Backup Version of the Userstyle so feel free to use this version if you've broken yours!
https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/492279-old-tumblr-dasboard-backup
v9.6: Moved the Following | For you | Your Tags to below the create a post panel. Fixed the Accounts Menu! + Bugfixes V10.3: Patio compatibility. Added a way to hide the Patio button & "patio feedback?" button, just search for patio in the code and follow the instructions! v11.0: Temporary Chat feature fix after Tumblr broke it, fixed some positioning issues and j/k scrolling!
v12.3: Fixed a text issue (my bad!), I undid the changes to the replies function and added a way to fix icons order for when you get the communities update!
v12.5: Update to make compatible with the Content Positioning using Tumblr Post Width & More (OTD+ Userstyle) v12.6: Post buttons fixed, icons unable to be fixed yet as I haven't got the tumblr changes just yet - but I will fix them asap!
v11.7: Communities Update, changed the new search bar on communities page to resemble the old one. The search bar still doesn't work on these pages yet for some reason. Blog view icons fixed. v13.0: The icons change should now have a working patchfix! BIG THANK YOU to arcadian-asgardian for sending me the screenshots I needed and testing if it worked. + Minor tweak, communities button resized to fit the rest of the icons better v13.2: Mini fixes now that I have better access to the new changes! Communities icon re-centered, usernames nudged back into place.
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 months
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kiss it better
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in which spencer notices your bruised knees and tries to make it up to you
18+ (fluff, allusions to past intimacy) warnings/tags: gn!reader i believe, reader has bruised knees lol, guess why, implied intimacy, hurt/comfort, sorta implied d/s dynamics maybe?? spencer is so smart and not very smart, but forever my no. 1 cutie pie a/n: why do i love writing about smut like before and after smut way more than i actually like writing smut LOL anyways here is this cause i haven't been posting very much!!! (also ik I said I don't like babe as a pet name but shhh) and GIF :D
“Hey,” you grunt as you flop on the bed in your pajamas, rumpling the neat covers. “Pay attention to me.”
Spencer holds his Sudoku off to the side and watches, eyebrows raised, as you scoot closer, tossing your leg over him. Soon he’s abandoning the book and pen on the bedside table in favor of hooking his fingers under your knee and stroking your leg, much to your delight. 
“Okay. What kind of attention would you like?”
You allow him to put his other arm around you and settle your cheek on his shoulder. 
“This is pretty good.”
“Oh, good,” he says with only a hint of teasing, leaning down slightly to kiss your lips and then the tip of your nose. 
When he pulls away you can’t help smiling up at him like a lovestruck idiot. Obviously he’s perfect all the time, but in his glasses, with his hair messy, wearing a navy crewneck instead of a button up and tie… he’s just… he’s just so…
He’s just so alarmed?
“Honey, your knee.”
“My knee?” Your own brows furrow and you track his eye line, craning your neck to look down to the blotchy sprawl of purple and red marring your skin. “Oh.”
The pillow is soft under your head where it falls, unconcerned even as Spencer gawps at you, baffled by your nonchalance. 
“What did you do?”
You snort. 
“What did you do, Spencer?”
It’s cute, the way his lips move as he silently repeats the sentence, trying to discern the meaning of your words. 
“What do you mean? I did something?”
“Babe.”
The knot between his brows has not loosened any—in fact you’re worried he’s going to give himself a headache. Or at least make himself dizzy, with the way his eyes cycle between your own. You try again, covering his anxious hand on the bend of your leg with your own. 
“When we got back from Penelope’s thing, the other night?”
Slowly the understanding seeps into his expression—soft guilt in his eyes, and a deep red stain in his cheeks. At least his face relaxes. 
“Oh.”
God, he’s so cute. He can’t hold eye contact, looking down once the shock of embarrassment has faded and swallowing, a little frown twisting his features once more. You reach up, brushing his cheek with a thumb and adjusting his glasses. 
“What’s wrong?”
The question comes out too smiley, but you can’t help it. 
“I hurt you,” he says, quietly, utterly ashamed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“I kinda think you did,” you tease, and Spencer says your name with a serious edge. You try to quit grinning so much. “Baby, it’s fine. You didn’t hurt me. Don’t you ever get mysterious bruises?”
His eyes are wide and honest on yours when he meets them again. 
“No. My iron levels are optimal.”
Naturally. 
“Okay, well, lots of people do. Sometimes I get a bruise and I have no idea what it’s from because it never hurt. These,” you look down, gesturing to your knee, “never hurt. It’s just what happens when your knees hit the floor.”
“Well you shouldn’t have been on the floor,” he scolds, countering with a sweet touch on your cheek. “I’m never letting you touch the floor ever again.”
Your shit-eating grin is back and better than ever. “Oh, so you’re going to carry me everywhere we go?”
“If that’s what it takes. I don’t like seeing you bruised up.”
“It’s okay. I bruised myself doing something I love.”
At this Spencer rolls his eyes and kisses you once more before gently pushing your leg away and getting out of bed. 
“Where are you going?” You ask, all smugness gone and more concerned than you ought to be as he flicks the bathroom light on. For a moment you receive no answer, but then he reappears bearing a white tube. 
“Give me your legs,” he says, sitting next to you on the bed. You swing your legs over his lap and watch on in mild interest as he dispenses lotion from the bottle and tosses it aside, carefully rubbing it into the bruised skin. Every few seconds he glances up to gauge your reaction, and though it’s definitely tender, you avoid wincing. “You don’t have to do that. I can tell it hurts.”
You laugh. 
“Yeah, well, it didn’t until you started trying to fix it.” The ointment is pungent and you make a face. “What are you rubbing all over me?”
“This is vitamin K and Arnica. It will make the bruises go away faster.”
“Aw. You don’t think they’re pretty on me?”
He sets the bottle on the nightstand and retrieves the pen he’d been doing Sudoku with earlier, uncapping it. Your heart swells as he draws tiny sad faces by the bruises on your knees, glasses slipping down his nose as he focuses intently. 
“I always think you’re pretty. I just never want you to be hurt, ever.”
“Are you done taking care of me now?” You ask, reaching out for him. The pen joins the bottle and suddenly he has no concern for your bodily health, practically crushing you with a hug. When he speaks it’s muffled by your shoulder. 
“Never.”
You hum, nose tickled in his hair and forming a dastardly plan. 
“You could kiss them better.”
Spencer laughs and presses his lips briefly to your neck. 
“I might just do that.”
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*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?
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