#I just keep creating never stopping haha
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peapod20001 · 1 year ago
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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annaesterella · 5 months ago
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Since almost every good fan of Yan-Batfam or something like that is getting into this (and I'm a fan of that kind of thing) LET'S HAVE A NEGLECTED READER
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But I saw that a lot of people liked the other fic, seriously people, KISSES DIRECTLY FROM ANNA! SERIOUSLY, I FELT LIKE A Celebrity (<⁠(⁠ ̄⁠︶⁠ ̄⁠)⁠> ehehe) And this was the first time that a fic of mine gained so many views and I'm very excited, thank you to everyone who liked it!
F/reader (sorry guys, I don't know how to write M/reader)
I'll write a part II, bcuz is too long!
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“Don't be silly! I would never be a Wayne.”
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Well, first things first, when did it all started again? Haha not 500 time loops ago, but some years ago.. like the first child, you were from a circus, the difference is that.. well? Your parents were magicians, at least your mother... your father until you were 6 or 7 years old was just another distant memory but sweet, not yours, but your mother's... the incredible magic of the circus “Joie nocturne” a beautiful woman, yet another victim of the charms of the heartthrob, philanthropist, billionaire and owner of Wayne companies, Bruce Wayne. Of course, your mother, like almost all women, never forgot him, having him as her beautiful memory, after all, he gave her everything she needed.. you, her lil bunny! That's what she called you, before she was gone, like him, she turned into your distant but sweet memory, like a magic spell..
You felt so alone, the circus wanted to keep you, after all, you were their family too, but even so, he found out about you, and being a child, You wanted to meet your father. Still, feeling the pain of abandoning what you knew, you went. You had your 10 minutes of affection and then never saw him again. You met your two brothers, half brothers, Dick and Jason, and the buttler, Alfred, You thought your life would be like a funny family sitcom, HAHA, WHAT A JOKE. Of course, the oldest was excited to meet you, you were just like him, from a circus! The youngest was curious about the situation, yet he was kind to you and didn't mistreat you. The oldest gentleman, Even with little time, he treated you like your grandfather treated you, you then created an innocent affection for him, after all, he reminded you of your grandfather! After 1 or 2 weeks, they disappeared. Only you and "grandpa" are left.. Just like your mother, you developed an affection for magic... but just those stupid tricks left you bored... even so, it was affectionate to see Alfred pretending not to know about the tricks, just to see you smiling... soon you realized.. you weren't really a Wayne.. at most a visitor. They didn't have time for you, Alfred was still a buttler at the end of the day.
Time passed and you felt more and more alone, of course, you had Alfred, but... he didn't always have time for you. Soon more people appeared... and others disappeared... Jason was the first to go, and even with the short time, you suffered, he was kind... your brother for such a short time, you wished you had played with him more, and after that the house, which was already abandoned, became even emptier, soon another boy appeared, Tim, from a rich family.. and soon Dick went to another city.. you don't remember when, but now there was also Cassandra, Damian, Duke.. Steph.. you remember Barbara from a long time.. Even though the house was full, it was still empty... and you could only comfort yourself with the magic and the things your mother had left for you. Your little stuffed rabbit and its "magic" materials. Even though If you were his biological daughter too, Damian seemed to have more of Wayne than you,maybe because he was a vigilante, maybe because he was a boy? did not you know of course... so why bother? Soon, you stopped trying, you didn't want that anymore... crawling for affection? At your eighteen You made your choice. You wouldn't be a Wayne, you'd be a joie nocturne again. But would they let you? That night, you went to visit the circus, that was your favorite time of year... Halloween, and circus mixed together? Wonderful! So you saw that... the villainy... and for a split second, you wanted to.. do something.. Playing like a good girl, you approached the large bearded man and tugged on his sleeve, asking what that was all about. Maybe this was your chance to be something. It was funny at first, seeing their despair, your second family, trying to explain themselves, but you soon gave a smile, before stamping your foot on the floor, making a crowbar appear, helping to open it. That was the beginning of everything... you were finally someone... even if on the wrong side. Soon, the decisive moment arrived, when you returned "home", packed your bags, and like a magic spell, you disappeared, leaving only a white rabbit and everything you did in that house, in your room, every magic award, every cheap magic materials.
After a Patrol day, Dick he noticed something unusual in the mansion, perhaps because Alfred was visiting his homeland, but it couldn't be that, after all, Alfred had already done that before... Oh right! Birthday girl, his ittle bunny sister. He ran upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door, before entering and seeing only a stuffed rabbit on the bed, and the various magical things around the room, if not for the empty drawers and things, he would say you still lived there by the decoration and the fact room looks good, everything is well maintained, warm
Dick: Bunny?
He called, looking around the room, before looking around, seeing the various magic prizes, photos, top hats and magic kits. All given by Alfred or someone called "Mr. Joie nocturne" Could he be a friend of yours? What do you mean you had participated in so many contests and won? Why didn't you call? Or did you call? Where were you now? Why was everything empty? You went away. He started walking in circles, until Tim entered the room.
Tim: You will make a hole in the ground. I called you several times, why are you in this room exactly?
Dick: Y/N, she is gone.. and we didn't even notice or whatever, we didn't receive any notification, why didn't she notify us that she was moving, we... damn... we weren't going to help probably because we were on patrol, did we waver? Did she know we were on patrol? Does she know the truth?
Tim: Wait, too much to process.. what does it mean "She is gone" she left? Is that it?
Dick: Yes. Dumbass
And well, we can say after that, what happened was like "Oh shit" and then everyone was like "OH SHIT" while you were home.. happy! Getting ready for her first show, her first real show... too true. You thought as you put on your gloves and applied your lipstick. Then, with slow steps, you walked onto the stage, smiling, while waving to everyone, who murmured and whistled. So you decided to do your first trick for the night, the "bullet trick" The difference? There was no trick behind it, just you and your skills... after all, it was in your blood. Just as the bullet was about to go through your skull, you snapped your fingers, and then the bullet turned into a beautiful, bright purple butterfly, flying through the circus, soon coming back towards you and turning into your bow tie. Okay, a bit of a show on your part for the first trick, but you have to show that you have morals. Funny that meanwhile, his family was desperate, going so far as to call Alfred, who was now just as desperate. Then, the special time came, the circus then closed the lights and when it opened, all the valuable belongings, inside the boxes, Of course, you had to feign shock, some clowns trying to calm the audience, and of course, you were also feigning surprise, making your things "disappear" to join in the fun. You looked at the children, snorting slightly, as you made the toys re-appear, seeing some calm down, while the others widened their eyes in surprise. Soon, the "incredible" Bat-family appeared... seriously, for such an idiotic cause they came...? Soon you saw them walking towards you and everything fell into place.
Nightwing: — Y/N! I mean.. Young Lady.. we were notified of your disappearance, we will ask you to return home.
You frowned, as you looked at the audience. Hearing their screams increase, some of relief that the "Bat-family" was there, others of confusion at the situation.
: — I believe, I'm already eighteen, so there's nothing to worry about, Still, I'm with my family at the moment, so I don't understand why the complaint. Not to mention that we were robbed at that moment, so why specifically did they come to resolve a case like this?
You questioned calmly, while pointing at the audience, smiling, before rushing to disappear with your family, leaving the problem to the bats, after all, they were the "professionals." You could say that the shock was written on their faces.. you were so big, poorly dressed.. those presentation clothes didn't suit a little girl like you.. but still.. what you meant by "your family" Were you referring to those circus freaks? They weren't as good as they were, they were just.. ordinary people! Well.. now they had to solve the problem of theft... but that couldn't end like that, nope.
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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 2 years ago
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"Don't You Know It's Bad Luck To See Your Bride Before The Wedding?"
Warning: I write reader as female 
Masterlist
One of the most interesting things about having a girlfriend from another world is learning about the culture and traditions that her world possesses. Normally, he would consider every part of the home of the love of his life nothing less than perfect, since it managed to create such an exceptional individual - the very same individual that he can proudly call his. This was, however, before you mentioned a certain tradition/superstition that you had where the soon-to-be husband and wife spend the night before their wedding apart and forbids said betrothed couple from seeing each other until they meet at the altar.
Here’s how our dear NRC boys would react when told this news:
Is cool with it. At least on the outside. They understand that it’s a silly little tradition from your home world so they let you spend the night with Adeuce (you bet that those two are your bridesmen/men of honour and the three of you and Grim are going to have the greatest bachelorette party of your life)/Papa Crewel 
But of all traditions, why this one? He seems perfectly calm when you say goodbye - you pretend you don’t notice how he holds you much longer and tighter than he usually does when he hugs you - and your text messages to each other are as normal as they can be, but no matter how hard he tries he just can’t shake off the cold feeling of loneliness your absence brings and how his body feels empty without yours to anchor it.
Once the festivities of his bachelor party are over, it takes five minutes of him trying and failing to keep himself occupied and distracted before his desire to at least hear your voice becomes unbearable and he grabs his phone to call you. He wordlessly slips off somewhere where none of his friends would find him and he gives you a ring. The two of you speak to each other until one of you falls asleep.
He would actually go through with it in its entirely and seeing you walking down the aisle in all your glory and beauty, emerging through the door like a celestial being, after hours of not seeing you had him completely awestruck, like a dying man seeing an oasis after spending hours crawling through the desert. It nearly almost made the wait worth it. 
Just never make him go through that again. Please.
Trey, Jamil, Silver, Jack, Sebek
Instantly shoots it down. 
Listen, Y/N, he loves you so much it hurts. He’ll move mountains for you, pluck the stars and moon out of the sky for you. He’d make the sun rise from the west if that’s what you desired. If there’s an option to carve out his heart and present it to you on a silver platter he would. Every breath he takes, every time his heart beats, and every hour of every day, he’s dedicated to making you the happiest person in the world - the ring on your finger is an attest to that.
But he won’t, absolutely will not nor ever, deprive himself of a single minute of your presence. He’s trying to make up for the years he’s spent without even knowing you and now that he has you in his life, do you think he goes a day without thanking every force in the multiverse that you found him and filled his life with light and colour and laughter. Do you truly believe that he would ever even attempt to get any amount of rest when you’re not in his arms? It’s absolutely unfathomable and he will stand for it. Now come over here and spend the next hour cuddling him for speaking such nonsense.
It does not matter how long your respective bachelor and bachelorette parties last, you two are spending the night together and that’s that. Full stop.
And don’t worry about the consequences. Whatever supposed ‘bad luck’ that befalls you as a result of his actions, he’ll shoulder it all. In sickness and in health until the end of time, after all.
Riddle, Vil, Jamil, Azul, Leona, Malleus, Idia
Haha, no ♡
Leona, Lilia, Jade, Floyd
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM???? 🥺😭
Ever since you brought it up, he’s been nothing but clingy. It’s hard to tell where you start and he ends from the way he’s hugging you so close it’s like he’s trying to fuse the two of you together. 
He wants to do it for you since you’re already sacrificing so much by being away from your home but-but that means that he has to spend a whole entire night without you! Don’t you know he can’t live without your goodnight kisses? And your good morning kisses? And your breakfast kisses and lunch kisses? And you’re just going to desert him like that? Abandon him and then deprive him of hours of kisses and cuddles that legally are his right to have? Starve him of his well-deserved affection and leave him when he needs you the most? Just tell him that you hate him, it would hurt less.
This boy is going to be facetiming you throughout his entire bachelor party - the rules of your world be damned. He’s going to be marrying you in less than 24 hours and he wants to spend every second of his excitement and pure elation with you. 
These boys are also the reason as to why you have to have people stationed outside your changing room like guards to make sure that the surprise of your wedding dress isn’t ruined because ‘they just had to see you’.
Needless to say, you are going to be spending the night together
But seriously he’s tried to follow you into the bathroom. Just tell him that it’s an old custom that no one abides by anymore before he breaks the door down.
Ace, Deuce, Cater (100% snapchats/live tweets his feelings of betrayal), Ruggie, Epel, Kalim, Azul, Floyd, Rook
You used your impeccable negotiation skills (puppy eyes) to reach a compromise. You’ll spend the night in Ortho’s room and the two of you will spend the entire night before your wedding playing video games using your matching couple headphones. Ortho will run interference until you leave the next day to get ready to make sure that you don’t end up seeing each other.
Or at least that was the plan until Idia woke up in the middle of the night to find his room devoid of the only lights in his life. Without even thinking, he leaves his bedroom and goes over to where you and his brother are and he gets into bed with you and cuddles you.
Listen normie, you’ve wormed your way into his heart so take some responsibility. If your world is right, then he’ll take the L. He’s used to doom and gloom so whatever bad luck happens can’t be worse than the life he had without you and it certainly isn’t worth even an hour without you by his side.
Idia
Are you kidding him, Herbivore?
First he has to go to some stupid bachelor party that his brother, Ruggie and Jack are throwing because no one would shut up about it when he could be sleeping with you and now you’re telling him that you want him to spend the night alone when he could be sleeping with you?
No. Absolutely not.
He doesn’t care if you think it’ll bring him bad luck or whatever. He’s not spending the night without you. In fact, he’s not even going to go to that blasted party. You and him can just spend the entire time napping in bed.
What? He has to go. Fine. They get one hour. Then, you're his. And if anything tries to get in the way of yours and his happiness, he’ll turn it to ash with his very claws.
Leona
Child of Man, he does not understand. You mean to tell him that in your world, a betrothed couple must spend the eve and morning of their nuptials apart lest a curse of bad luck shall befall them? He’s never heard of such a thing. Humans have such strange customs from where you’re from. You needn’t worry, however, as the future king and powerful mage, he is more than capable of handling whatever calamity that comes your way. A measly little curse is no match for a fae such as he. Therefore, there is no reason for you to deprive him of the warmth of your body for he shall always be there to soothe your fears. He has sworn to protect you and made an oath to you that no harm shall ever befall you.
For if anyone dares to prove him otherwise, he shall deal with them. 
Personally.
Malleus (it takes him a while to realise it’s not an actual curse since your world doesn’t even have magic to begin with but he still makes you wear enchanted jewellery on your person just in case - even though every piece of jewellery he had gifted you prior to that is chock full with protection charms and that’s not even counting the heaps of blessings he gave you) (It’s like that time you told him about the curse of ‘The Scottish Play’ all over again)
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago
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Jungkook
𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙚 | 🔞 Main Work
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He's one of the best, no race too tough to handle, every track a new challenge he takes on- especially when it's you who's waiting at the finish line for him.
Tags/Warnings: Racer!Jungkook, established relationship, romance, suggestive themes, heavy flirting, adult content, mentions of online hate, only minor angst, they're a power couple, this MC is now my spirit animal, smut
Length: ~5k words
There is no taglist for this fic.
-> Masterlist
A/N: I know nothing about actual car racing. Pls don't take it too seriously, thanks haha 💗
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"But be real here-" A fellow driver asks, sitting down at the side now to pick up a water bottle. "-I always wondered, are you like, actually a couple?" He asks, taking a sip of his water, replenishing what he's sweat out during the training session with Jungkook and the other drivers.
Jungkook sighs to himself, before he gets into a sitting position, tapping the timer on his phone to a stop. He gets these questions a lot- whether or not you're in if for the right reasons, how good your pussy must be to have him put up with your annoying attitude all the time, or how someone like him isn't hooking up with models and actresses left and right. He's not sure why it's such an outrageous thing apparently to have a stable relationship, but somehow, if he just went by what magazines and online gossip-blogs report, it's apparently absolutely unthinkable to be in a normal loving relationship in his position.
But he is. And he intends to keep it that way for as long as you'll have him.
He loves you, dearly so. Your 'bad habits' and flaws are just as endearing to him as the rest of you, mainly because you were also there when he was just starting out, bank account almost always empty at every end of the month, rent barely being paid. You stayed even when he was at his lowest, you cheered him on when he won his first major race, and you consistently keep supporting him at every event you can. And to him, you're prettier than any model he could ever come across anyways.
"We're an actual couple indeed." Jungkook affirms, locking his phone before he screws open a plastic bottle of water himself.
"But like, isn't it a bit disappointing sometimes?" Jake asks him. "Like, I heard you never go to afterparties, and if you do it's always with her. You could have anyone, man." He laughs.
"You'll get there too, maybe." Jungkook chuckles simply, when the door opens, and familiar jingles of jewelry make him smile to turn around- and there you are, meeting his eyes with a smile, as he instantly moves to stand up.
"I bought you all your favorite snacks, and there's like, one of those electrolyte drinks there too." You say after pecking his lips with your strawberry flavored lipbalm, putting the white plastic bag into his hands. "You're not overdoing it, right?" You ask, and he grins, shaking his head.
"I'm almost finished anyways. You wanna wait up here? We can go back to the hotel together then." He asks you, gently pulling your hair out of your long earrings where some of it had gotten tangled. You let him, and wait for him to lean back as a sign that he's finished, before you answer.
"If it's not too much of a bother? There's already a bunch of paparazzi outside, I think someone might've leaked your location online.." You tell him, and he grows serious at that.
"Then you'll wait. I don't want you going back to the hotel alone if they're outside." He tells you now, not giving you another option. He remembers the last time you almost got mobbed at the airport, simply because you flew out the country a day after he did- and of course it created rumors and the wildest theories as to why that might've been the case. It's what happens to him constantly due to his status as the 'hottest race driver of his generation'.
One magazine reported that you apparently have been spotted fighting by someone at a restaurant, and that that could explain why you had sunglasses on during the airport walk- because you two probably broke up, and your eyes must've been swollen from crying. In reality, you always wore shades or shielded your eyes, because you're sensitive to the camera lights and the masses of people make you anxious, so you always try and blur them out somewhat.
Another online forum speculated that you two definitely broke up, and that it was long coming, because the hate must've gotten to you finally. That there's just no way you both could've ever worked out, and that it was just pushed by your parents so you'd have the most comfortable life imaginable. Your father allegedly introduced you to Jungkook at a press conference, which made Jungkook laugh.
True, your parents know each other- but only because you're a couple, and obviously became closer over the years of dating. It didn't make sense that you both just became a couple so you'd have it easy, when he's mentioned multiple times that you both have been dating for way longer than the span of his career.
And then, that one gossip site that pushed the narrative that he cheated on you at the last afterparty. That there's images from the event where he can be seen with a woman with long dark hair that's definitely not you, and that you most likely found out and kicked him out- and just flew out to start a new life in a different country.
That one made him angry.
The woman he'd been seen with was Mingyu's mother- his best friend whom he'd helped out the burning wreck of his car after he'd crashed into the side barriers. She'd simply been there to thank him, and he'd hugged her just as a way of reassuring her that he'd always be there for any of his teammates, no matter what. And that specific website constantly stirred up cheating allegations- either at him, or you, it didn't matter. Clearly edited photos, alleged video evidence that didn't even show you both at all, it was stupid, really.
He's lucky that you don't instantly believe anything you see. Up until now, you always confronted him first if there was anything you were concerned about. And you trusted him, just as much as he trusted you.
Finishing up his workout, he takes the towel you offer with a thanks, deciding to ignore Jake's stares at your tits for now, since it doesn't appear to bother you at all. And honestly, he can understand. They do look great.
And they feel even better- but that's only for him to know.
The moment you both exit the gym they're all there- and he instantly moves you slightly behind him to properly shield you from anyone trying to reach out to you, which has happened often enough before to make him now hyperaware of it. But you somehow make it into the car waiting to take him back to the hotel without anything happening- though the questions hurled at you both from every side do annoy him to high heavens.
Jungkook are you still together?
Jungkook did you both talk things out?
Jungkook did you really cheat on her?
Jungkook-
"Jungkook." You ask him, and he moves his head to you now. "I asked you if we wanted to take a bath at the hotel? The tub is huge!" You beam at him, and at the sight of you all genuinely happy and carefree, he smiles, nodding, before he takes your hand to hold.
As long as you're still there, everything's fine.
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"Oh god-" You breath out, hand in his hair while he's gripping your thighs over his shoulders to keep them open.
Your panties are still hanging from one of your ankles, toes curled as he licks and swallows over your core, orgasm rapidly approaching you as he places a teasing kiss to your sensitive pearl. He moves around with ease, slips out of his pants rather quickly before he pushes your legs towards you once more, aligning himself with your entrance after lubing himself up shamelessly with your arousal he's gathered with his hand.
He doesn't need to rid you of any clothes- he's done that already.
You always joke that the secret to your happy relationship is back-breaking sex and good cooking- but sometimes, you actually believe it.
It's his main way of relieving stress- he's told you as much before. And he also enjoys the more romantic and sensual aspects of it, the closeness to you, and the knowledge that it's something special just between the two of you. It's always a little playful, unserious, light and relaxing, especially afterwards- the shared afterglow you both experience always something special where you both reconnect and bond once more. It's like you grow closer every time you're together like this.
Even though, according to him, that's impossible.
"Gonna.. wanna take you to the movies..!" He grits out, leaning back while while he holds your legs by the backs of your knees, thrusting his hips steadily into you. "Ah, fuck.."
"Can I- can I choose?" you giggle in pleasure, hands over your head grabbing the pillows while he watches your chest swing in the rhythm of his pace.
"Hm, I don't know.." He mumbles, leaning over you now after letting go of your legs to peck your cheek. "What do you wanna watch?" He wonders, before mouthing at your neck.
"Right now?" You hum dreamily, closing your eyes at the sensations of it all. "Wanna watch you." You say, and he chuckles against your skin, hands next to your head steadying him as he slows down a bit to a more sensual rhythm, though he presses himself deeper at the same time, making you arch your back as your legs hook together over his back.
"You're so cute." He teases, one of his hands moving to run over your chest, playfully smacking one of them once to earn a squeak from you- and laughter from him.
"Kook-!" You whine, and he mimics your tone a little, before his hand moves over your body between your legs where you're currently connected, fingers toying around with you. "Yes-!" You beg, thighs pressing together against his body, before you reach your high, muscles twitching from the feeling, while he becomes a bit more erratic now with your core clenching around his length.
He cums a little afterwards, pulling out before he spills his seed over your lower abdomen, the sight always doing something to him.
"You know, I really wanna go to that premiere that I was invited to with you." He says after taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair, getting up after leaning over you to peck your lips twice- because once is never really enough for him.
"Heh, you know I'll always be at your side if you want me there." You sing-song, stretching your limbs while he turns on the water in the bathtub, door open to be able to hear you. "So, if you wanna take me, of course I'll be your arm-candy!" You chirp, and he smiles as he returns with some babywipes in his hands to wipe down your skin.
"I always want you at my side." He tells you gently, careful with the rather cold wipes on your skin. "And I'm glad you're still willing to put up with me and this whole thing." He shrugs, throwing the tissues away in the trashcan.
"Why wouldn't I?" You wonder up at him as he hooks his hands underneath your back and legs to carry you into the bathroom of the hotel room you're staying at, to help you into the tub.
"Why would you?" He sighs, getting into the tub as well, unscrewing the small bottle of soap offered by the hotel to pour it into the water. "I sometimes really wonder how.. strong you must be to just constantly put up with all the things said about you and me." He says, pulling you closer to him as the bubbles form with the water pouring in. "…I was really scared, you know." He mumbles onto your skin before he kisses your shoulder.
"Of what?" You ask, unsure.
"When the rumor spread of me cheating. I always.. get worried you might become doubtful of me when things like these are said." He admits to you, before you turn around in his arms, his hands immediately on your hips.
"I'm not worried though." You simply tell him, running your hands through his hair before they settle around his neck. "I trust you." You shrug, and he moves his hands up to hold your cheeks, pulling you closer to kiss you until you giggle, pushing against his pecks to get him away. "Kook no-" You laugh, but he whines.
"But I want to love my girlfriend!" He complains.
"You just did!" You argue back, and he plays with his lip rings for a second.
"But you deserve more." He purrs, trying a little more.
"And my pussy needs a break!" You respond back, making him laugh. This is why he loves you so much- why he loves your relationship so much. Living with you is easy, it's relaxing, it's light and it takes his mind off of all the worries he has.
Because when he's with you, it's like none of it matters. He can just fall into your arms and trust you to catch him every single time.
And you do. Just like right now, as you kiss him until the water cools down, and the bubbles are all gone.
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Something he's never really told you is the amount of people trying to get to you- through him of all people.
Mainly because everyone still somewhat believes the most common rumor that you're just a sugar baby kind of situation- that you're up for anyone, as long as the numbers fit your standards. It's infuriating really, makes his blood boil because what else does he have to do to make people take you both seriously? It's not even just the fact that they apparently don't take him seriously as your partner- but that they really think you'd be someone to use others for money, just because you're not the quiet sweet person in the background who they can bully around.
But he has a plan. Foolproof, really, and he's wanted to do that this year anyways.
"I need my good-luck-kiss.." He teases, keeping you close to him.
"Well if we had enough time I'd give you the whole good-luck-menu, but you gotta go get ready now." You giggle while he bites at your neck.
"Not yet.." He complains, already in his overalls, helmet on the bench close by. You're hiding behind a corner like schoolkids attempting not to get caught skipping class, and he admits that you both do this a lot. He just can't get enough, and today especially, he just wants to make sure the cameras can see his marks on you, and know that they're his. "Will you watch the race?" He asks, and you giggle.
"Of course. I always do." You promise, and he grins, before he pecks your lips one last time, finally getting ready.
You're standing in the VIP spots, watching closely how he starts the race, seemingly a bit behind. But he's pushy, he always is, competitiveness not letting him lose without a fight. And fighting he does, quickly catching up as he squeezes past several other competitors, making your pulse rise quite a bit. Truth be told, you always worry- especially after his friend's last accident that you witnessed that day. The race had been interrupted because of it, and had been decided to be re-started at a later date once Mingyu had fully recovered.
He only sustained minor injuries, cracked a rib and a minor concussion, but nothing else. But the sight of the car will stay in your head for quite a while.
You have nightmares, sometimes. Of Jungkook being in a wreck like that, flames swallowing his broken body whole, and you can't do anything to save him. That's most likely the biggest reason you're always a little on edge whenever he drives. You know he's a good driver, of course he is- but still. You can't help but worry.
Not that you'll ever tell him. He doesn't need about something stupid like that.
It's not even half an hour in, and a black flag is waved at a blue car lagging behind. There's smoke coming from the back wheels- so he's asked to leave the tracks and drive into his pit box, which he promptly does to get his vehicle inspected. It seems to be a more serious issue however- because the announcer suddenly explains that the racer named Jake Pitcher won't return to the tracks.
Time passes by, and the race goes on without much interruption. Everyone follows the rules, flags are waved left and right to navigate things happening, and your eyes occasionally lose sight of the mainly red and black hyundai Jungkook is driving, though you always find him again at the very top, leading the race. It's after the second pit stop that a driver in a sky-blue Toyota is becoming visibly more aggressive, especially towards Jungkook.
It's alright to be a bit pushy, you've learned that that's the norm- but this guy is putting other drivers in danger with just how close he's pressing himself against Jungkook's back and another's side.
But this is the sport. It's an aggressive one, and the rules about how to race are pretty grey.
Someone crashes, a yellow and green racecar you've seen earlier. The vehicle spins on the ground in donuts a few times before it comes to a stop on the grass, and the team is visibly running around to sort things out. It's announced that the driver is awake and alert, and doesn't seem injured- and the car is towed safely away, one lane closed until everything is cleared once more, caution in place for now causing everyone to slow down a little until the track is cleared again.
Jungkook had crashed before. Multiple times, even. He's cracked ribs, bruised his body, broken bones. Never anything too serious- but enough to remind you every time how dangerous his career is. You hate that side of it, and sometimes you really wish he would just call it quits- but you also understand that he's passionate about this, that this is his dream.
You'll always remember his worst crash- the way his car had flown through the air rolling around like it was nothing but a toy, front wheels almost pulled off entirely- and your fear inside your bones as it took him ages it felt like to climb out of the wreck, surprisingly unscathed, only bruised badly in some spots.
He was on a stretcher that day, a safety precaution even though he turned out mostly fine. You remember not even having the energy to scold him in hospital, crying at his side for hours it felt like until he'd managed to calm you down enough, his laugh teasing as he'd helped you wipe off your ruined makeup before going back to the hotel later to sleep- your body even clingier than ever before.
It's his fourth pit stop. Things are looking good- this time the car seems to be holding up a lot better than last time when he only made the third place, and the commenters seem to recognize that too. Jungkook is the only one bringing a car of his type on the track after all- it's basically the talk of town every time he participates. He went from being a joke to a true competitor nowadays- finally being taken seriously on the tracks, and you know Jungkook relishes in the feeling of it.
He loves to win, after all. Even if it's just the respect of others.
Suddenly, something happens in the front. The toyota pushes too hard, too far to the side, and it breaks the current leader completely into the barriers as the car loses control, dragging several cars with him- And as your eyes search for the familiar red and black car with white font written all over it, you find it.
There's a lot of smoke, several cars unable to continue, a driver exits his own on the grassy spot in the middle, throwing his helmet in frustration. Jungkook's car is scratched, badly, a slight crack in front, but he's still driving- seemingly having escaped with nothing but some minor damage. He's slowed down just like everyone else now, entire track under major caution as the damage to a lot of other car's is being inspected, several people now left out with their cars damaged too hard to compete any longer.
Jungkook seems just a bit out of breath from the shock from what you can see on the screens, now in the pit box where tape is placed over a break in the front over the scratches, car being refueled and inspected just to make sure. He gives a thumbs up when asked if he's alright- a nod given to other questions. According to a commenter, he's asking for any serious injuries in other drivers- but there are none, so he's reassured that everyone's alright and up walking around.
Caution is lifted, green flag waved. The fight is back on, speed increasing as they once more go back full force, pushing and mixing up the order in which they're making their way towards the finish line.
It's the last stretch now, and things are getting clearly heated on the tracks. From clear pushing to forceful passing, scratches and bumps can probably be found on every car after this race is done. There's a fight happening now, and Jungkook is not backing down from anyone- now doubling down, and pressing himself towards the front. He's not as impolite as some other drivers further back, but he still bites, clearly so- currently passing another car, the white flag waved as he presses himself against his competitor.
One round left.
You can practically feel the tension now, pulse racing just as quickly as his car drives as he pushes himself further and further up front. He's in second place. That's most likely the spot he'll make.
Or?
It's almost in the last second it seems like when he manages to outrun the Chevrolet he's been pushing against next to- the black and white checkered flag waved, Jungkook's name being called as everyone cheers.
He made it. His team cheers- but you're frozen in time.
Because this is also a win for you, every singe time. Your prize is the fact that he's unscathed, that he's okay, that nothing happened. Fireworks light up the sky, when suddenly, he turns the car, covers the track in white smoke from his wheels, a full on spin one of his by now signature winning gestures.
His team runs towards him, pulls down the window gate to congratulate him as he climbs out, pulling his gloves off before he takes off his helmet and climbs on the roof of his car, clearly excited over the win. The interview is easy, as he answers questions thanks his team, before he becomes nervous, visibly, shaking his hands a little. "You still seem rather emotional from the race!" The interviewer jokes, and Jungkook nods, before he runs a hand over his face, bracing himself it seems like.
"Yeah that too, but uh- I made myself a little challenge too, you know?" He laughs. "I promised myself if I won this race, I'd.. do something I've been chickening out of for quite a while now." He explains, and you become a bit nervous now, unsure what he's trying to say. You're making your way down now to where his team is too, now closer and in sight as Jungkook grins to himself.. almost shy?
A member of his crew gives him something, and you become suspicious when he walks towards you now, because that stupid grin he has on his face just spells trouble in bold capital letters.
"You put up with so much shit, you know?" Jungkook tells you over the sound of people cheering and the commentator telling the crowd what's happening- everyone now curious. "You really do- and I don't think there's anyone out here in this world that can really love me like you do." He offers, and you laugh to yourself. "Don't laugh! I'm serious!" He complains, making some crewmembers laugh. "Either way, I might've won the race, but do you know what prize I'd really like instead?" He wonders, before he moves to drop to one knee.
"You, as my wife." He tells you, slightly dirty black box containing a ring.
And suddenly, the world seems to quiet down entirely as you nod, watching in fascination as he puts the ring on your finger in front of thousands.
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"Jungkook you're speeding!" You whine as he laughs in the driver's seat, sunglasses shielding his eyes from the weather.
"Babe I'm actually way below the limit, what're you talking about?" He chuckles, always a little amused by the irony of your fear of him driving- him, a professional racecar driver. "It's an RV, not a racecar. Relax a bit." He says, taking your hand to kiss the back of it before he continues to hold it.
He's taking some time off- spending a vacation in europe with you, having rented an RV for some quality camping that he's always wanted to do with you. Now that his relationship status had been officially upgraded so to speak, rumors have died down- the thrill seemingly left now that he's made it more than clear that he's taking it seriously with you, even though he always has.
"Still, can't you drive a bit slower?" You worry, and he shakes his head.
"No can do darling. But we only have half an hour to go anyways, so we're almost there." He tells you.
"Half an hour can feel like a lifetime though.." You pout quietly, and at that, he runs his thumb over the back of your hand.
"Were you scared when they all crashed?" He asks, and you nod.
"I searched for your car right away. You can't believe how I felt when I saw you come through that cloud of smoke and car-parts almost unharmed." You whine. "I hate that I'm always so scared. I don't want you to feel bad when you drive-" You worry, and he laughs.
"You're not making me feel bad, don't worry." He shakes his head. "I can understand how hard that must be to watch though. Just like I said, I'll never understand how you put up with me and my shit." He offers, and you shrug.
"I don't know either." You huff. "You constantly bully me." You complain.
"I don't bully you!" Jungkook argues scandalized.
"You constantly make fun of my height, and you laugh when I'm scared, and you slap my ass in front of everyone no matter who!" You say, and he shrugs.
"It's a nice ass, what can I say?" He defends himself, making you glare at him. "Hey come on, you can't possibly blame me, you slap my ass too!" He argues back to you.
"That's cause you deserve it!" You respond.
"And you don't?" He wonders.
"Absolutely not. I'm an angel!" You state, and he laughs theatrically.
"You might get down on your knees regularly but you're not a saint-" He jokes, making you roll your eyes. "-see? And a brat too.!" He teases.
"Yeah well if you're not nice to me I won't suck your dick for the entire trip." You threaten. "Not even once." You state, making him pout playfully.
"Not even the tip?"
"Won't even touch your balls." You respond, and he whines.
"Oh no! Anything but that!" He complains, finally driving towards the entrance of the camping spot. "What do I have to do to gain back the sacred touch of my soon-to-be-wife?" He asks, having parked the RV now, and taken off his glasses.
"..you can start by giving her a nice kiss." You tell him. "But a good one. With feelings and all- the whole menu." You demand, and at that he leans over the middle, careful not to touch anything and cause an accident, pulling you closer by your neck.
"Well-" He smiles warmly at you. "-that's easy."
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"So how have you always dealt with all the hate and rumors about you both? That must've been pressuring!" A paparazzi asks you as you stand right next to your by now husband, who's just made the second place in his latest race.
"Oh, I just look at him naked to remind myself why it's all worth it in the end!" You beam happily at them, Jungkook laughing loudly next to him.
Yeah- you're really one of a kind.
And he doesn't mind spending the rest of his life with you.
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akutasoda · 2 months ago
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"i found my heart, i found your heart, and it's still beating"
--you two were denser than rocks, is what dan feng thought. and now looking back on all those years you realise just what could've been, but it's too late now...
--warnings - gn!longlife species reader, fluff, pining, angst no comfort, mention of death??, two people that can't see the signs, maybe ooc, wc - 2.4k
--a/n: wowee yingixing fic! tbh i spent alot of time on r/blacksmiths when writing HAHA shouts to @milksnake-tea for the idea behind this which then inspired the whole thing... and here you go pookies @lowkeyren + @https-sourlimes i hope i did the wife proud!!
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the natural heat of the day was nearly unbearable.
nearly as it paled in comparison to the blazing warmth that crept out the furnace and filled the air of the small workshop - although by now the lone figure was well used to the conditions forced upon him when forging.
he had a quota to reach. many weapons began their life being forged within these walls by his hands and died upon battlefields. most of his creations never lasted, all the time and toil spent making them just for them to be destroyed in the hands of those either lucky enough to make it back, or unlucky enough to not.
but a quota was a quota - more casualties would only be caused if he failed. a sigh escaped him as he picked up the last sword before moving towards the stifling heat of the forge and holding the sword in, patiently waiting for it to turn a glowing yellow and then removing it.
sitting down and setting down the stock flat on the anvil, he began carefully shaping the top of the soon to be sword. he stopped for a moment, the sound of approaching footsteps caught his attention and a part of him could guess just who was visiting him now.
wiping away the sweat from his forehead with the back of his leather gloves, he watched as you walked through the open door - it was never closed when the forge was going, the room would've turned itself into the forge otherwise. and with that he knew his time was up.
“done with the weapons yet?” your voice called out but he simply turned to flatten the blade, a smirk made it's way across your face “the marshall needs them by the deadline set you know?”
yingxing grumbled “as usual” speaking up to add “if they want them done quicker perhaps they could forge them themselves then?”
he stood up and held the sword into the forge again, holding it for less time than previously. clearly he wasn't in a rush so you prompted “how long then?”
“depends, if the marshall wants a decent weapon i still need to sand, sharpen, reheat and create the hilt” pausing before pulling the sword away from the forge and pointing it at you “or you could take it now”
his arrogance would be the death of you, but for now a smile graced your face before urging him to continue on - the marshall could wait a while longer.
unlike yingxing, you weren't accustomed to the conditions of the forgery and so the suffocating environment forced you to find respite outside until he was finished. if anything this was a usual routine between the two of you nowadays, the marshall would send you to collect weapons from yingxing but everytime he wouldn't be completely finished and so you'd wait outside.
occasionally you sat with him but the sweltering heat made it feel like the whole room would suffocate you and he often preferred to work in silence. he never took that long anyway, or if he did it was purposeful and you both knew so - at least the scenery was nice.
“it’s finished now, don't keep the marshall waiting longer or else we’ll both hear about it” his voice snapped you out of a daze, you turned to watch him sit beside you “fresh air feels nice”
“it's your choice to hold yourself up in that forgery for hours” pausing, you looked at him before turning back and scrunching your nose “least you could do is leave that smell in there”
he held back a small laugh “not my problem, now are you going to deliver the weapons or not, i've done my part”
sighing, you stood up and yingxing followed suit before leading you back into the forgery and handing over the weapons.
---✩
“your late”
yingxing fought the urge to roll his eyes “it's nice to see you too dan feng”
the high elder shot him a glance that landed somewhere between annoyed and somewhat relieved.
despite being the only short life species among the high cloud quintet, the furnace master was just as a part of the group as the rest - if anything, one of the most important as he was responsible for hand crafting each and every one of their weapons.
“im earlier than the rest, your too punctual for your own good” he sighed
dan feng scoffed “it’s more likely that the rest of you aren't”
yingxing wanted to comment on how it wasn't an important meetup, if anything it was a friendly hangout but unfortunately arguing with dan feng was a futile task that only got more depressing for him as he went on.
fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how he looked at it, they were still a group yingxing held dear. some of his closest companions to which he even looked up to. so even now, the silence was comfortable. the high elder was a comforting presence as despite his initial arrogance, he carried a deep seated care reserved to those he deemed important.
yingxing caught the way dan feng looked over to him occasionally, like he had something to say. eventually the silence was broken by the furnace master asking what was on dan fengs mind.
“have they realised yet?” was his response, it sounded rather uncharacteristic for the high elder.
but yingxing knew he was referring to you. ages ago he had consulted baiheng about the warm fuzzy feelings he felt around you and the foxian was practically beaming as she told him that he had a crush. although she didn't exactly know how to keep a secret and very quickly the entire quintet knew of his apparent “crush”.
baiheng was normally the one to bring it up so he never really expected dan feng to - the foxian was always very eager to be updated on the situation between the two of you. although a very prominent issue soon became apparent. you were quite dense toward the furnace master's advances.
“same as last time i'm afraid” he sighed, every single one of his advances had gone straight over your head. and every single time he reported back to baiheng who became even more puzzled about how to help him finally get round to you.
the high elder hummed “try being more direct then” out of all people, yingxing never expected to get relationship advice from dan feng. it was practically shocking. be more direct. was it really that simple?
---✩
unfortunately, being direct was more of an issue than either of them thought.
no matter how much yingxing tried to subtly hint to you, it always became lost in translation. even his more direct approaches were interpreted as friendly gestures or simple acts of kindness - he couldn't even get frustrated because a part of him thought it was cute.
every day baiheng would find yingxing sitting defeated in the forgery, his head in his hands as he tried to decipher exactly what he could've done better to finally get through to you. she'd always have to console him and convince the deflated furnace master that he could always try again.
no amount of gifts, kind words or actions that couldn't be mistaken as simple friendly gestures, could convince you. every time you found some way to see it as friendly and not a romantic advance on yingxing's part. not even the handmade trinket he made you that suspiciously matched his hairpin could convince you.
baiheng, and occasionally dan heng or jing yuan, would always tell him that he still had time - jingliu never really liked to get involved. they'd always tell him that there would be some way to get you to acknowledge his feelings. he believed them.
one day, perhaps he could build up the confidence to confess directly. to stop beating around the subject and come clean. clearly subtle advances weren't going to do the trick, but yingxing had the time to build up that confidence.
---✩
but yingxing had less time than he thought.
it was jing yuan that broke the news to you.
the grief was almost instant. a deep rooted part of yourself was convinced it was some cruel joke, an insensitive prank that he was put up to - but you knew better. the realistic, logical part of yourself was well aware of the truth but it was suppressed by the emotional side. the part of yourself that wanted to scream and curse the aeons, the arbiter, yourself, anyone that could've prevented it.
jing yuan hated to be the one to tell you. but no-one else would. he was hurting as well, having watched all his friends fall into despair, ruin and death. admittedly, he probably wasn't supposed to tell you but since he knew how close you and yingxing were, he reckoned you could be an exception.
it hurt jing yuan even more to leave you almost immediately after breaking the news to you. he could see how distraught you were but he was in no position to offer you comfort. although honestly, you preferred to be left alone.
you needed to process the passing of yingxing. well he wasn't dead, but jing yuan had told you how he was banished from the luofu - he was a short life species unlike yourself so you had to come to terms with the fact that you probably were never seeing him again. yingxing would die and you wouldn't ever see him again.
it hurt. it was as if the aeons themselves had plucked your heart from your chest and pierced it in front of you. that night, you cried. harder than you ever had in your life, clutching the handmade trinket that he made you.
---✩
it was hard to miss the news, the previous high elder returning to the luofu, stellaron hunters aboard - one or the other would lead to both being mentioned anyway. a scoff was all that left your mouth when you first heard, the previous high elder was dead. forced to reincarnate, the chances of his reincarnation willingly coming back was low.
the stellaron hunters didn't alarm you either, sure they were wanted criminals but confidence could be placed in the cloud knights and even the general himself. although it became apparent that it was the stellaron hunter you had to worry about.
yet again, it was jing yuan that told you. he was hesitant for many reasons. one reason was the fact that even though you both resided on the luofu, you barely spoke with him ever since the incident - he didn't exactly hope that your first time talking with him in ages was to tell you that yingxing’s new self was aboard the luofu, and a wanted criminal at that - and admittedly he hadn't told you the whole truth all those years ago.
another reason was that he wanted to protect you. jing yuan knew you would've heard about imbibitor lunaes return and the steallron hunters but he didn't trust blade.
he wasn't yingxing. the yingxing that constantly tried to hit on your dense self, that gifted you handmade trinkets often, that made you laugh. no. it was a stellaron hunter known as blade occupying yingxing's mara stricken body.
but you deserved to know. to at least be aware of the situation and so, begrudgingly, jing yuan informed you. what he hadn't anticipated was for you to immediately rush off in search of your supposed yingxing.
it didn't surprise you to find "him".
that wasn't yingxing, the “furnace master” that made you laugh, made you feel warm and safe. no, this was an abomination. someone who had taken the man known as yingxing and ruined him, taken him to the brink of death over and over just to come back with more scars that never healed, piling on again and again until he wasn't the same.
all that was left was bitter malice seeping into the parts that slowly ebbed away, slowly removing any semblance that could link “blade” to yingxing. would it be fair to even call him a human?
the only thing that could even link that monster to your friend was his attire. it was tattered and worn, nothing like how yingixing would've worn it - although rather admittedly his outfit was never “clean”, constantly dirtied by the consequences of forging weapons but he tried his best.
he finally noticed you, and as you locked eyes, it felt like staring into the eyes of a stranger. it was as if the mara had risen from the hands of abundance itself and ate away at the one memory left alive until nothing could be linked back. it forced it's way into his brain, stripping him of what little semblance of sanity remained upon seeing you.
the mara forced his hand, the one he desperately tried to hold back but it was as if his body was no longer his. you weren't from his memories but some part of him could recognise you.
blade knew you weren't his, you weren't even yingixing's but he longed to hold you in his arms. to be selfish and have what his previous identity couldn't.
it was a futile effort. his mara forced him to attack, in his eyes you were no longer an innocent bystander - you were a threat. to anyone else, they would say that blade held nothing but hatred behind his gaze. pure rage and despise. but to you, you could pick up on relief.
some deep rooted part of yingxing that hadn't been lost to the mara that encompassed blade recognised you. affection and longing could be found in his gaze, fighting to break through to the last conscious part of blade's brain. it was an impossible chance. so instead he hurts.
damaging the parts of you that a previous identity would've died to caress and kiss. no longer could you sit and wonder about what could've been. yingxing was gone. this man was simply a monster accumulated from the parts of him.
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rest of the "series"
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn
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maxwellatoms · 5 months ago
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I bought a Gartenmeister Fuchsia plant for my birthday back in January. It was a centerpiece all winter long, but recently it started looking a bit sickly. I'm not a "green" gerdener anymore (haha), but I am also by no means a master. I think it was infected with powdery mildew, but I also convinced myself it was spider mites. I try to keep things all -natural out there, so I dried it out and sprayed it with some neem oil after pruning it back a bit. I really should've pruned off all of the infected bits, but I didn't want to lose the flowers.
I did that a few more times, unable to commit to a hard prune because I kept telling myself "I don't know what I'm doing, so maybe it's not sick. Maybe it'll fix itself. Sure would be nice to have those flowers back." I finally gave up and cut it to the bone yesterday, but yesterday was too late. I had to remove every single leaf because I dithered for too long. It's probably not going to make it.
I feel the same way about our culture. US culture. Western culture (though its really a global problem). The Entertainment Industry. The Media. It's sick. We probably need some rather serious surgery to fix the problem, but we just will not see a doctor. To see a doctor would be to admit there's a problem, and for some that is the greatest sin of the 21st Century. Maybe some of us are just hoping the system will recover on its own so we can have our pretty flowers back.
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For me, it was around 2010 or so when I first started to smell something "off". The symptoms had certainly been around a while. This was just when I noticed. This was when I got my first, "Hey, let's not make fun of corporations" note. It's when The History Channel stopped airing stuff about history in favor of aliens because that's where the money was. And rather than rebranding, they just left it as "History", encouraging future generations to believe whatever they felt like. This was also about when traditional news outlets started skewing to clickbait in order to compete with sites that were clearly 100% not legitimate news sites. Again, as long as the money is right it's "just entertainment" and you' can're welcome to believe it if it means you'll watch more.
I'm all-in on Dead Internet Theory now. The disparity between what major news media outlets will report and what you see from actual people on Tumblr or Threads or Reddit is pretty shocking. And those sites are already compromised by bots and bad actors. The tools exist now to actively bamboozle millions of people, and I have no doubt we're already seeing some of this now. In six months or a year you'll find out it (whatever it was) never happened or was generated by an LLM. The time to stop listening to anyone online was a year ago.
Trust no one.
Not even me!
It's cultural rot. It's spreading faster and faster, and I'm not sure what happens when we get to the end of this ride. Actually, I AM sure what happens. If we don't prune back hard now, then the rot takes over. Best-case, you clip the infected branches off too late and it takes years to recover. Worst case? Nature soldiers on but the plant succumbs to infection and dies completely, replaced (eventually) by something that can actually hack it in that spot.
When humans produce art and information, and then comment on that art and information by producing more art and information, we call it "culture". We're moving toward a time when the vast majority of art and ideas we get out eyes on won't be created by humans. Or at the very least won't be created with the purpose of commenting on or enriching the organic human experience. When that happens, what will we call it? What will remain of our culture?
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artsycloudysleepy · 5 months ago
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aaaaaa tysm!!!! this helps so much, you have no idea! have a great rest of your day and thanks again :D
(warning that the tags are long and lengthy!)
hiya nye!! hope you're doing good :3
looking for some OC advice if that's okay: i have an OC who has MDD, but afaik i don't have it myself and i really want to avoid harmful stereotyping or unrealistic portrayals!
was wondering if you have any tips on writing it, if there's anything specific i should know (if there's treatment, side-effects, etc.) or just anything to avoid in terms of stereotypes?
obviously don't answer this if you don't want to, it's probably very personal, and take your time if you do! i want to avoid screwing up, and while i am also going to check out articles and do my research, i also want to make sure i'm not accidentally being a prick or looking at misinformation and ask you if you have any advice :)
thank you so much! have a nice day nye, stay hydrated :D
Heeyyyy Artsy :3
I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can, but heads up I'm not professionally diagnosed or anything and am definitely not an expert on the topic, so this will just be from my personal experience
So of course maladaptive daydreaming is different for everyone, I think the most common interpretation of it is someone who might use their persona to self insert themselves into media they might like, or a personally written story. Sometimes they might be pre-written and played out (I personally believe this is what "shifters" do). A second common one might be writing a story by thinking about it as a show, where you yourself may not be involved. Many people wrote brilliant stories using this method.
My personal experience is that I can count multiple times where my maladaptive daydreaming was more prominent throughout my life, but I can't really pick it out if childhood experiences as it was kind of like the hit thing to be good at imagining when you were 5.
My standout experience with MDD is ongoing. It started five years ago and it involves myself and other people consistently. There is no change in plot or reboots, I consider these people consistent as any other person I might know. Plainly, I consider the maladaptive daydreaming characters that I have created (ocs) AND have not created to exist as people in some way, so I treat them as such.
Part of my MDD is that these people I know through my head interact with people from the real world, having casual conversations and such.
My level of focus on my MDD varies on my mental health and environment, it usually ranges from maybe 1 interaction a day to things I have planned for the day being cancelled because I'm busy daydreaming. My daydreaming friends will often grow distressed if I don't speak to them for long periods of time. Some of them (my ocs) fear that they'd cease to exist, while others may fear their friends could disappear, including me.
Something well known for MDD is repetitive motions, personally I find my stims outside of MDD are larger and more noticable, while I'm daydreaming sometimes my repetitive motions will be spinning a pen or something as miniscule as timed blinking or eye movement. It's like keeping pace to me, like they tell you to associate a smell with sleeping if you have a hard time sleeping. The motions help keep me focused on my daydreams.
I don't like closing my eyes when I daydream, but I do like dark rooms. I also prefer background noise. It's also well known people like to listen to music while they daydream, and I do, but the noise doesn't have to be music. It just has to be constant and have some kind of pattern that I can tune out to. The noise helps distract me from what I see visually!
I haven't researched treatment because recently I've been quite good at regulating my daydreams, and in the past it's been a fear of mine. I think the only treatment there would be for MDD is finding other coping mechanisms.
As for side effects, I'm not sure what would qualify. I can get angry at daydreams the same way I would anything else, same goes for every emotion. Sometimes it just makes my mood seem out of place, I think. I also think it's obvious when I'm daydreaming, because people usually poke me or wave a hand in front of my face (THIS IS SO ANNOYING DON'T DO THIS I'M DAYDREAMING FOR A REASON). MDD sometimes restricts my real life experiences, socializing, sometimes makes me forget meals, it also makes my memory of everything worse, instead replaced by memories of daydreams. MDD is something that I deal with, while I know it's a negative thing it's something that I don't have any desire to detach myself from. That's a scary idea to me, so I suppose that's a side effect in itself.
As far as writing a character with MDD goes, you'd have to know what they were daydreaming about first. A lot of the rest of the traits, such as what noise or actions they use, would be down to their other characteristics. If I was going to avoid something, it would be to not make everything they daydream about separate to reality. Almost everyone I've known with MDD has integrated their realities in some way, whether it be having their persona personality shine through, their daydreams interact with people around them, writing about it, drawing or infodumping. Of course this might not be everyone, but I think it also depends how private of a person they are. People who have MDD tend to know they're creating something complex.
Thanks for asking me Artsy, again, this is just from personal experiences. Hope this helped! :3
#artsy's moot sillies#gonna copy + paste this into a document and highlight stuff for future use tysm!!#um some personal stuff in the tags here bc this made me think about me and uh.............. i may now have an explanation for stuff?#tldr for tags: i have a LOT of self-reflection and OC work to do haha. thank you again for helping; it means more than i can say :3#(personal tag start: if i'm being completely honest i tick. a lot of these boxes? as in. A LOT)#(i'm not saying i have MDD bc i haven't researched fully yet but it's kind of like. woah. this is.......... really close to my stuff?)#(like maybe it's not MDD i'm relating to this a bit too much????)#(i'll be doing research anyway so i guess if i relate to too much i might have an answer for the past 6-ish years of constant daydreaming)#(without getting into too much personal stuff i created my OCs as a response to some trauma and i constantly daydream about them)#(i self insert myself into the story (persona-ish); have them reference my life; talk about real people; like imaginary friends)#(i don't have them interact with real people that often but they mention them quite a bit)#(my ocs are also very specific and don't change much if at all. if anything i make workarounds for plotholes)#(and i have times where i've daydreamed for hours without stopping; fully acting out the scenes and feeling the emotions)#(like if i'm angry in the daydream i'm just as angry/close to a meltdown in real life)#(it's become so much of a coping mechanism that i can't stop and i don't want to. even though i know i need to ground myself and figure irl#stuff out properly. so i'm trying to turn it into a therapy-ish thing to help me and also let me keep daydreaming?)#(and i hate being interrupted. tend to just lock myself in my room and i get really frustrated if people interrupt me)#(i also rock a *lot* when i'm daydreaming - broke my last bed and now the floorboards creak when i rock on them instead lol)#(i also listen to music or ambient noise when daydreaming and tend to match the rhythm in some way with stims)#(the rhythm/melody also affect what i daydream about; whether it's action or fluff or angst or what)#(and also sometimes talking from movies or shows helps me daydream#where my ocs and me say the same things as them like we're being voiced over. and i can involuntarily have to daydream when something in a#show gets my attention like that. i can't put the idea down and have to act it out and daydream)#(it makes attention span a nightmare for things that are too long)#(when daydreaming i like natural light or dim light (scared of the dark so *that's* fun /s) and either close my eyes or keep them open)#(and i feel *awful* if i haven't spoken to my ocs for a long time and have the fear that they'll be forgotten without me)#(so basically the exact opposite than yours lol)#(it feels like i'm constantly daydreaming. i'm never *not* if that makes sense)#(sometimes it scares me that none of it is real. or i treat it as if it IS real and that can be a whole 'nother problem)#(and sometimes it's like a show i'm not personally involved in (not my oc stuff; it's always a fandom of mine). sometimes have a persona.)
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ldysmfrst · 6 months ago
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American Mate (7) - Is This a Joke
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 7 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 7391
Work count for Story: 31,321
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I started a Patreon if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.
Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does have Anxiety, arguments, comfort, Alpha Space, close proximity, and scenting.
BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit
AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST
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Silence. 
Total silence.
No one was breathing. Hell, your heart even stopped. Did he seriously just tell you to become a playmate? How can he think that is even a possibility? It is not like one can just become a playmate.
Unknown to you, the pack's eyes shoot to Namjoon, just as shocked as you because he never shared this proposition with them before making it. That is not an option that they thought of.  The scents in the room turned this way and that with confusion, shock, and concern.
Why would he suggest that they limit their actions to only what a playmate can do? You are their mate. You are not a toy to play with. How does this promise anything besides you having to stay near them and service them as a companion?  
The whole idea of a playmate was to take care of them, be their friend, help them relieve stress, or become a rut fuck buddy. Playmates were never meant to be a long-term commitment. While they wouldn't mind you doing any of that as their mate, the title of Playmate would make you think of everyone as only a job, right?
Giggling rings in the room, and the sound causes everyone to snap their eyes at you as their thoughts come to a halt. Under normal circumstances, such an angelic sound would have them cooing. This time, it has their ears standing straight, their hackles raised, and their Alphas pacing in their minds. 
Your giggling bubbled to outright laughter as you looked at Namjoon with a slightly crazed look on your face causing his smile to change into confusion as his confidence in his choice melted away. 
"You're joking, right? Hahahaha. Pft... haha… playmate… me!" You looked around the room to see you were the only one laughing, which only caused you to laugh even more. Your scent was spiking in so many ways that the boys were getting dizzy from it.
"You have GOT to be kidding me. This is … am I a joke to you?" You stand abruptly and stomp closer to Namjoon and Seokjin, making the boys startle with your movement
“Do I look like a Playmate?” you ask while gesturing to your whole body and spinning around to accentuate your point.
"I have been doing nothing but abiding by Yoongi’s and the pack’s wishes since I got hurt,” with a deep breath, you close your eyes and stand as tall as your scent shuts off like it was never there to begin with.
“And now you are toying with me." Shaking your head, you mumble, “Just like everyone else.”
"Miss Y/n," Namjoon starts trying to explain himself, but all you can think of is excuses and lies which you have heard before that he might come up with if you let him keep going. 
"No," snapping your eyes open and pinning them on the Prime Alpha. 
"No excuses,” you step back.
“No lies,” another step.
“No more playing fun and games.” You turn to Jungkook with wide, panicked eyes, and you demand, “I need the address of this Airbnb so that I can call Derek or Evie to come and get me.”
“I want nothing to do with this sick joke,” voice cracking at your declaration. You must get out of here before you start crying, which is your next step. 
You really want to cry out of frustration because you thought they would be different. You may not consider yourself Army, but Lily was, and with how highly he talked about the kindness of BTS, you thought they would be different. 
Then again, it's you, the plus-sized four-eyed nobody. Why would the hottest band in the world treat you as anything other than entertainment to just pass the time.
You see Jungkook, one of two who actually helped you calm down before, ignoring you and nervously picking at the rip in his jeans. Then you finally notice that everyone is actively avoiding looking at you and realize that no one is coming to your aid. You stand tall and steel yourself to find someone who will, like their manager.
“I am going home.” Heading towards the hall, you are stopped by your black tail leash and a hand on your good wrist.  Taking a forceful breath, "Mr. Min."
You turn to face him, only to be met with powerful golden-yellow eyes that stop you in your tracks. You have seen them before, but they have never been this close. The molten gold bleeding into a darker brass surrounding the oblong jet-black pupil.
He steps forward to where you stand, making you practically nose-to-nose with the Alpha jaguar. His eyes searching yours. 
His scent crashes over the room like a storming ocean wave. Yoongi may not be the Prime Alpha, but he is strong enough to be one if he wants to be. It is this strength and dominance that cause the members of the pack to hold on to each other, waiting for his next move.
He slowly reaches up and wipes away a tear you didn’t notice was falling. Bringing the tear to his lips, his tongue darts to taste it, and his face scrunches with deep concern.
"Y/n scent gone. Tastes hurt. Pain," he says as his hand returns to your face, cupping your cheek. The warmth only makes it that much harder for you to keep your tears at bay. 
Yoongi moves to leave the living room with you in tow. He takes hold of your good hand and says, "Come. Keep Safe. Promise. "
You don’t answer, glancing down at the hybrids within your view. After a few more seconds, he looks past you with narrowed eyes at his Prime Alpha. 
“Leave alone." Making the decision for you, Yoongi, gently but without room for struggle, walks you out of the living room. 
Stopping in the hall, he looks at the door in front of him and then at the staircase down the hall. He turns to you. "Room?" He points to the closed door and then to the stairs. "Den?"
"Umm.." you look at the door, the stairs, and then back at the entryway to the living room. Looking at Yoongi, all you can think of is to get away from them all so you know your answer. "Den."
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One moment is desperation. Next is shock, betrayal, anger, hurt, and now you shut your scent off. So many emotions in so little time, ending with you being pulled away by the protective jaguar from his packmates. 
The next thing Namjoon knows, a pillow hits the side of his head from an unknown packmate. Turning to look for who it was, he gets hit by another. This one, however, ends up landing on Seokjin as well, causing the shock that had settled over the room to break.
"What the hell was that?!?!" Seokjin demands after hearing you go upstairs with Yoongi. Standing up, he walks over to the other side of the room. 
"Prime Alpha, with all due respect… have you lost your mind?" questions Taehyung, leaning back on the couch with arms crossed as he does his best to hold his Alpha back from taking over and storming up the stairs after you.
"Guys, think about it! She can pay for her flat and keep her independence. Come on… just think, it would require her not to leave our side for the length of the contract," Namjoon defends himself.
"Yeah, the contract! That is all she will think it is—a contract. A job. We will only be a source of income for her, Hyung," Jungkook complains, his legs jumping with nerves. Throwing the pillows did his anger no good.
"Namjoon, you know the rules and regulations that fall on Playmates. You know that she won't qualify, and I am not just talking about the ridiculous physical standards that they have in place. She is supposed to take care of us and be there for us. There is cooking, cleaning, and stuff. How can she do that with a broken wrist, huh?" Hoseok chimes in. “How can you ask that of her?”
Standing from the chair, Namjoon circles around it. Gathering his thoughts, he rests his hands on the back of it, almost like it's a wall between him and his mates. "She will be able to care for us. Listen. Rules of a Playmate are pretty much what you said, Hobah.”
“Don’t you Hobah me right now, Namjoon! You are on thin ice. If you cost us our mate, you will not find yourself having a good time—at least not from me any time soon.”
“Sorry, Hoseok-hyung,” Namjoon says, his scent filling with a slight smokiness as he starts to understand just how much he may have messed up. 
“But really, think about it. The contract requires her to be with us at the packhouse or when we go somewhere, correct?"
Seeing his packmates nod, he continues, "This, technically, does not mean she has to do anything other than physically be there. No typing, cleaning, cooking, or labor of any kind. She isn’t required to do it unless we ask for it."
"She will take care of us by letting us care for her. All of our Alphas will be happy to do so while she is healing. We all know that Yoongi-hyung will not be able to perform or do anything well if he is concerned that Y/n is not healing well.”
“She already is instinctually being a mate, by allowing our Alphas to act on their instincts. Having her as a playmate will also be the best way for her to care for herself without financial stress. She is independent, and this way, she can keep that while learning to depend on us as mates."
"During that time, we will care for her and follow our instincts. We must show how well we can provide for her by tending to her needs, protecting her, and loving her as only her mates can."
"You want us to court her while she is our Playmate?" Jimin asks, watching the Prime Alpha nod. He looks around at the others, who now have contemplating looks on their faces. “I don’t get how this will work.”
"Namjoon, I can see what you mean and this may work, but what if she doesn't let us?” Hoseok questions.
“I want to cuddle with her, feed her, and feel her, but she wouldn't even take a bottle of water. She tried to run to a solo seat in the van to keep her distance from us. What makes you think that she would feel comfortable accepting our courting gestures?" Hoseok continues challenging the Prime Alpha. "What happens when we interact with each other? How will she be comfortable joining in or being around that?"
"Do what you did with me," Jungkook says shyly. "Show her that we are in it for more than just her being our playmate. That the companionship declared by the contract is required is not what we are wanting because we are wanting something so much deeper and stronger.”
Looking around the room with his big doe eyes, he continues, “She doesn't seem to mind cuddling with me. Next time we cuddle, maybe someone else can join. Or Anyone can try to just cuddle with her, and then if we are cuddling with each other, we can invite her to join in."
"Jungkook is right. Baby steps are our best bet," Namjoon smiles knowing he has the youngest on his side now. “She may not even know what hybrid courting looks like.”
“Y/n has seen plenty of playmate and client interactions. Two of our mates already connect with her on an instinctual level. Since none of us use playmates for our ruts, that won’t be required for her as our playmate.”
“She doesn’t know that though, Hyung,” Jimin whines, “How do we let her know that part but also that she isn’t going to be a regular playmate for us, like the one who left us?”
Silence fills the room as everyone is deep in thought. 
Hoseok jumps up, “What if we showed her the other contracts we had had? Show her that we are exclusive to packmates for our ruts. This way, she doesn’t think we just want her for sex but for friendship to start with?”
Smiling at his words, Namjoon adds, “Good. Now, we just need the rest of us to follow Yoongi-hyung and Jungkook.  We need to find ways to deepen our connection with her. Show her how we interact as mates, then our desire for her and what we are meant to be for her.”
"Wh… What happens when the contract ends?" Taehyung worries. 
After a beat of silence, Soekjin speaks up while looking down the hall, "When the contract ends, we hope she understands that she is our mate and we did our job to prove we are the mates she deserves."
“But first, we need her to understand that she is worthy of being a mate, to begin with,” Hoseok adds.
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‘Become our playmate... become our playmate… Our Playmate.’ The words are replaying in your mind. His look of confidence is seared into your brain. Pressing your palms to your eyes as hard as possible, you try to think of what is going on in his head to propose that idea. 
The door opens, and you drop your hands to see Yoongi standing a little to the side. “Den not…um… no time but ready,” he says, looking around the room and then back at you.
“I understand you haven't settled in yet. Alpha, may I come in?”
At his nod, you went into the room. It looks similar to the guest room, but it is a bit larger. There is a bed on each side of the room, with a lovely natural wood shelving unit splitting the room in half. There are plenty of windows to brighten the space on both sides.
On one side, luggage lies unopened on the bed. On the other side, luggage is opened on the ground, and some clothes are tossed around. Looking over your shoulder at the Alpha, you hug yourself and wait for him to tell you where to go. 
Yoongi notices your hesitance and starts gently pushing at your upper back. He then guides you past the bed to the attached bathroom you didn’t notice.
Inside, the marble on the counters and walls is beautiful black, white, and gold. There is a double sink, a shower that looks like it has enough shower heads for an entire house and a large jacuzzi tub. 
You get lost in wonder at the richness of the bathroom alone, and it also allows Yoongi to hug you from behind, catching you off guard. 
“Y/n, sorry. Pack, sorry,” he says softly as he rests his head on your shoulder. “Take bath. Relax. Then talk. Towel and clothes on toilet. Outside. I will guard.” 
With that, he leaves and shuts the bathroom door. 
Well, that apparently was not a suggestion, but a bath does sound nice, and it would be the easiest way of keeping your brace dry. Moving to the tub, you turn on the faucet and take notice of the different bath salts, scrubs, and bombs.  
After picking a violet and vanilla bath bomb, you slowly undress. Yeah, buttons are not your friend anymore. Slipping into the bath, you think about your day. So much has happened in the last 24 or so hours.
1 - BTS shows up two weeks early when the big shots are still gone. 
2 - They hate all the playmates we offered for whatever reason.
3 - You (and they) sent mixed signals from the moment of arrival.
4 - Yoongi and you got into an accident.
5 - You broke your wrist, which will take forever to heal.
6 - They want you to be a playmate.
Now, you are kicking yourself for not attending some of the seminars on the second gender of hybrids. You essentially learned what you do because you grew up with Evie and her pack.
Your mom had moved you and your brother to California when you were still in elementary. Your brother, however, was in high school already and had a tendency to travel whenever he could. You might as well have been an only child. 
When you were unloading (getting in the way of) the moving truck, the neighbors noticed your attempts to help and decided to have you come over to their house. Once the beta Tabby hybrid noticed you ‘helping,’ he introduced you to Evie, and that was it. The two of you were hardly ever separated to the point Evie’s family included you in some of their pack trips. 
The only thing was that Evie’s pack didn’t have an Alpha, so you never got a chance to learn anything about them. With how strong Evie’s dad, Earl, was, the pack never sought out an Alpha. You didn’t have much exposure in Colorado, and as far as you knew, Alphas were not very common to run into. Plus, you were human, so why would it be something to worry about to begin with?
Well, apparently, you should have learned something when you took the job at PMS because now you were surrounded by Alphas with little… actually, let’s be honest, no knowledge aside from what you have learned since they walked through the office doors.
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“Manager-nim, we need your help. Miss Y/n’s wrist is broken, and she cannot use it for upwards of eight weeks.”
Taking a sharp breath, Manager Sejin starts formulating options: “How did she take it?”
“Well, she took that rather well. She is rightfully concerned about how to function in her day-to-day life without her dominant hand. Also concerned with her… umm… her employment,” Namjoon beats around the bush, not wanting to get yelled at by his manager for his proposal like he was from his pack.
Silence is what comes from the other side of the call. “Manager-nim?”
Placing the container, he is holding down and braces himself against the counter. Manager Sejin has been with the pack since the beginning, and he knows when Namjoon isn’t saying what really needs to be said. “What did you do, now?” 
“I offered her to stay at the packhouse as I should, being the Prime Alpha. Told her we would care for her til she healed and that she would not have to worry about paying for anything while she was here. She did bring up concerns about her flat and other bills,” he paused, taking a breath, “ so … itoldhertobecomeourplaymate.”
The next thing Namjoon hears is animalistic chattering intermixed with very human cursing. Yeah, that’s not a good sign. The manager is skilled at keeping his hybrid hamster behaviors at bay unless there are very strong emotions involved.
“Manager-nim, you see, it would keep her with us so that we can fulfill our responsibilities as Alphas. It would allow for her to still work, keep her flat, and not compromise her finances. Plus it will allow her to get to know us while convincing her that she is our mate.”
A deep sigh is heard, “And how did she take that?”
“Umm.. not well, actually,”
“I can tell I am going to get a migraine from this,” Manager Sejin rubs his temple. "Continue.”
“She laughed, but not in a ‘that is funny’ kind of way but more of a ‘that’s crazy’ kind of way. She flat-out refused and wouldn’t let me explain before she basically said we were playing a mean joke on her.”
“Let me guess– none of the pack tried to help convince her of this GRREEAAT option of yours?”
“They didn’t know. Actually, I just kind of blurted it out,” Namjoon sighed. “I was panicking.”
“It serves you right to have her refuse you. Hell, I would have, too, if I were her. Namjoon-ssi, you should know better! For someone so intelligent, sometimes you are…” sigh. “Never mind. Where is she now? Do I need to get a van ready? Do I need to get the lawyers ready?”
“No, no van or lawyers. Well, she did threaten to call her friends, but that was before she left with Yoongi-hyung.”
“SHE LEFT WITH YOONGI!!” Sejin jumps up from leaning on the counter and dashes towards the front door.
“NO! No, no, no… he went back into Alpha Space. He told me to leave her alone and took her up to his den.” After a brief pause, he said, “It sounds like she is taking a bath. Hopefully, she is calming down. Jin-hyung is going to go and talk with them.”
Putting his keys back down, Sejin sighs in relief. “If anyone can get you out of this mess, it’s going to be him. Namjoon-ssi, I think you are an amazing Prime Alpha, but you always get weird when you get a new mate. I thought by now you would be better at it.”
“Namjoon-ssi, I am going to look into how to modify their contract with our lawyers. IF, and this is a big if, she agrees, then you may have something. Is that okay?”
“Please, Manager-nim. Maybe if she sees what we mean written down, it will help as well. Oh, and the pack wants her to see our previous agreements with other playmates.” 
Namjoon takes a deep breath as he ends the call. He nods to his mates to confirm that their manager is working to help make this happen, allowing the pack to relax. 
The turning on of a shower indicates that you are most likely just rinsing off from your bath and should be out soon. The pack turns to Seokjin as he narrows his eyes at Namjoon.
“You need to find a way to apologize. You need to apologize to all of your mates for springing this on us and be ready to work your ass off trying to prove yourself to her as a mate.” Standing up, Seokjin takes one last look at the hopeful faces of his loved ones, “Let me try and fix this.”
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Looking at the clothes that were left for you to change into, you debate on even trying. You are not sure if they would fit but you remember seeing the random lives Lily has shown you and note that Yoongi tends to wear baggy clothes. 
You also know that whenever you are around Derek, and he is in one of his moods, he always feels better when you and Evie wear clothes he keeps in his apartment for the two of you that he has scented or has worn himself.
The struggle to put on your undergarments with damp skin ends in frustration. You give up, and they join the bundle of your clothes on the floor next to the sink. So, you go ahead and wear the provided sweatpants and hoodie, which luckily fit sans underwear. 
The smell of petrichor surrounds you, making you smile. Your family and friends always thought you were strange for loving the smell of fresh rain and wet earth. 
Looking at yourself in the mirror, you are happy at how soft and comfy the clothes are. The pants were tight on you but not comfortably, and the hoodie was long enough to cover your backside, so no one would be able to tell you weren’t wearing anything under them.
Wait… what does the big V stand for on the hoodie? You were curious enough to look at the tag, which proudly states that you are now wearing a Valentino Hoodie, of all things. 
Fuck! Why can’t he have a normal person’s hoodie for you to wear?
This is totally not like the Walmart sweater you lounge in at home. You don’t even want to try to figure out where the pants are from. For all you knew, you could pay rent with the money you were wearing.
Walking out of the bathroom, you have tried to twist a towel around your long hair and toss it on top of your head to reveal that Yoongi is no longer alone in the den.
“Welcome to our den, Y/n. Sorry, it was not ready for guests, but well, you know. We all got here at the same time,” Seokjin says with a shy smile while Yoongi’s eyes roam your form covered in his clothes.
“Oh, I understand, Mr. Kim. I am sorry for coming into your den without your permission. I didn’t realize it was a shared den until after I was inside,” you bow slightly in apology, sending your hair towel spiraling to the floor. 
Grabbing the towel and standing up, you look around, not sure what you should do since Yoongi and Seokjin have taken the bed, and there is no other seating on this side of the room. Looking back at the two Alphas, you smile shyly. 
“Come here, dear. Let Yoongi-ah dry your hair while we talk.” Seokjin pats the bed between the two of them, and Yoongi holds up a hair brush.
“Yes, we do need to talk,” taking a deep, calming breath of petrichor, you move to sit cross-legged on the bed with your back to Yoongi. His hands go to your waist to help you scoot into the right spot.
“Comfy?”
“Yes, Alpha. Thank you for your help, and don’t worry about brushing too hard. I am used to having a multitude of knots that won’t come out.”
You don’t get to see Yoongi's look of confusion, but you do see Seokjin’s concern. “My hair likes to curl when wet, and so it knots up really fast. I washed my hair this morning, so it's just wet from lying in the bath. There are no products in it.”
Seokjin chuckles, “Y/n, you are more than welcome to use anything we have while you are here. Yoon offered you a bath, which means you can use anything he has to offer.”
“I used the violet and vanilla bath bomb. Yoongi said to relax, and the smell of vanilla always helps me do that.”
A bright smile graces both of the Alpha’s faces at your confession. The mate scent is a comfort for you and that makes them feel more at ease.
“Dry and brush now. Relax more. Time to talk,” Yoongi says as he starts to gently dry your locks with the towel you brought out with you. 
“Are you okay if we talk, Y/n? I know today has been a lot for you. I will respect your request to leave you alone if you really want,” Seokjin calmly states, but the pained worry in his expression has you nodding your head for him to continue. 
“I will not excuse what Namjoon did. He didn’t talk with the rest of us before he proposed what he did, so we were shocked, as you were.”
“He didn’t? Is that why Yoongi said the pack was sorry?”
“I am sure Yoongi heard us confront Namjoon once we knew you were upstairs. So yes, the pack is sorry that the idea of you becoming our playmate came out so… abruptly.”
Narrowing your eyes at his choice of words, you state, “But you are not sorry that he went for that option in the first place.”
Taking your good hand, Seokjin pushes out his cherry scent along with the vanilla to help keep you calm as he continues to try to salvage the offer.
“Y/n, I am going to be straight with you. Our Prime Alpha will have a lot of begging to do to be back in the good graces of the rest of the pack for how he handled this, but what he offers… makes sense.”
When you hear this, a scowl grows on your face, but as the scent of cherries, rain, and vanilla fills your lungs, you pause. “How? Why? I mean, like… really, how?”
Pulling your hand closer, Seokjin focuses on rubbing his thumb on your forearm, his wrist brushing on yours. His eyes focused on the movement while trying to think of the best way to explain the situation. 
Yoongi takes this moment to rest one leg on each side of yours and scoots closer, “I brush your hair.”
“What do you know of the Playmate contracts?” inquiries Seokjin.
“Oh. Ah… Well, I know there are two kinds: Companion or a friend contract and Partner or rut and heat-based sex contract. Both can be done individually, as a group or as a sub-group. Doctors, lawyers, and managers are also involved. Honestly, that is all Derek’s department. I just schedule meetings and set up health screenings, and such. From my experiences, most of the American Hybrid Idols only take partner contracts.” 
“You are not wrong about the types, but it seems you don’t understand their limits or allowances. Also, what one idol does will not imply what others will do.”
“I get that, but Derek said that due to hybrid health, most, if not all, companion contracts will have to include some form of partner option for heats and ruts.”
A soft huff is heard from behind you. You start to turn to look at Yoongi, only to have one of his hands slide around your shoulder and up your neck to your jaw. Your breath hitches at the movement, and you will yourself not to melt into a puddle. 
“Keep looking at Jin-hyung, Y/n. Your hair is almost done.” Yoongi orders before moving his hand away and goes back to brushing the last bit of your hair. 
Blinking your eyes open you see a smirk on Seokjin’s face as his white little fluffy ears twitch around in amusement. “Sorry, Alpha.”
Looking past you, Seokjin says, “Welcome back, Yoongi-ah. Is your Alpha settled now?”
“Yes, Hyung. She smells like me, and that calmed him down quickly, though her own sweet pea scent has not come out yet.”
Looking at your injured wrist, it dawns on you that you must have turned off your scent again. “Sorry– again. I seem to do that without knowing sometimes, but it will come back eventually.”
“No worries, dear. Anyways, back to the contacts. Our Prime Alpha is having our previous playmate contracts brought over for you to review.”
This comment has your eyes snapping to Seokjin quickly, as those are normally kept quiet, “We want you to see that we have never taken a playmate for more than a companion. All ruts are handled within the packmates because we are a mate-bonded pack.”
“Oh, so when he suggested I be your playmate, it wasn’t a sex-driven thing…” you nod in contemplation, “but that still doesn’t explain why. I mean, it explains that you aren’t taking advantage of me, but still…”
Pulling you against his chest, Yoongi hugs you close. Leaning to where you can see his face, he smiles, “We would never take advantage of you and do not think that because our past playmates were not a sex-driven thing we do not find you appealing.”
You blush at the implications of his words. Unable to hold his gaze, you try to clear your head and look to the older Alpha, “How can I be your playmate?”
“Simple. Care for us.”
“Like it is that simple. I have a broken wrist.”
“Caring for us, for a pack of Alphas, is different from how you have to care for your family pack.” Seokjin explains, “You were injured in an accident involving this pack. We all know that you are going to need assistance not only in caring for yourself but also for your things.”
“As a respectful and responsible pack of Alpha’s, we are following our instinct and culture, to provide for you during this time. As Prime Alpha said, while you are with us, you will pay for nothing. If you are contracted as a playmate during that time, it will also allow you to pay for your personal debts.”
“Y/n,” Yoongi calls for your attention as he hooks your legs over his and turns you to see him better. “We… actually no. I will speak for myself. I will not be able to function well knowing that you are on your own trying to make things work.”
With his eyes flashing to his Alpha briefly, “My Alpha and I are not going to be able to go about our schedule without worrying about you all the time. At this point, I would prefer you to stay as close as you can to me or a packmate. I can understand that it can be a bit much.”
“Having you by our side,“ Seokjin chimes in, “granting our Alphas to express the instinct to care for you will be your way of fulfilling the contract.”
Looking between them both, your head swims, “What about the domestic stuff? I hear about playmates talking about laundry, making sure their idols eat, and stuff like that.”
A clearing of someone’s throat quickly draws your attention to the den door. A few other packmates are shyly standing just outside the threshold. 
One of them, Jungkook, says, “You won’t have to do any of that. Y/N, we just really want to take care of you. We want to treat you right. We want to support you.”
“Come in, my loves,” Seokjin calls. At his permission, Jungkook bounds forward and kneels on the floor at your feet, resting his head on your knees again. Taehyung joins him on the floor and leans against Seokjin. Hoseok and Jimin also sit on the floor. 
Looking toward the door, you wait for the Prime Alpha to come in, too, but no one else does. Confusion and almost a hurt look come to your face for a moment before you look at the boys present. 
The next to speak up is Hoseok, “Namjoon is waiting for Manager Sejin downstairs. He didn’t think you would want to see him right now. He knows he went about this the wrong way, but let him come to you, and don’t go easy on him. His Primeness can be on his knees and grovel a little, it won’t hurt him.”
This causes you to blush and giggle, causing the whole room to smile. The scents of cherries, rain, snickerdoodles, ebony, oranges, and lilac fill the room like potpourri with a warm vanilla underneath. Slowly, you start to relax a little more as the scent of your (unknown to you) mates rolls over you.
You lean into Yoongi, “Thank you all for coming up here. Seokjin explained to me what Prime Alpha did was a surprise for all of us,” you look around at the boys on the floor as they nod.
“It is just so much right now for me. I am overwhelmed. I know now that it wasn’t meant as some big joke, and you are trying to follow instincts—instincts that I don’t know anything about. So, if you would explain to me what you each would be expecting, I think that would help.”
With a soft bump of his nose on your cheek, you look at Yoongi, “You already know where I stand. My Alpha made that clear outside on the deck before this whole mess.”
“I want to make sure that you are eating well so that you can be healthy and happy,” Seokjin claims.
“For me,” Hoseok says, “I want to help keep you laughing during the hard times.”
“A friend. I know you have your family pack, but I hope to be your friend while you are with this pack. Be someone you can go to,” Jimin shyly says while looking around at his mates and then you.
“Expression: I hope to help you find a way to express yourself with confidence around me and others,” Taehyung adds.
“Cuddles, pets, scratches, umm... More cuddles. Just think of me as your personal stress ball or life-sized stuffed bunny,” Jungkook purrs as you run your fingers through his hair.
“I will be whatever you need me to be,” Namjoon says from the hall just out of the doorway. "And I will do what needs to be done to earn your forgiveness and your trust as Prime Alpha, even if I have to borrow some knee pads.”
Namjoon looks around the room with a hesitant smile and settles his gaze back on you. “Miss Y/L/N and mates, please join me and Manager Sejin downstairs. We have some things to discuss.”
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“He wasn’t lying.”
“Who?” Manager Sejin asks.
“Seokjin. I mean, Mr. Kim… he said that they never took a playmate for more than being a companion. None of these have the rut clause, and to top it off, most have a clause to ensure that the playmate understands it is not even on the table for discussion.”
“That is correct, Bangtan only satisfies their ruts within their mate-bonded pack. They ask for playmates to have someone other than their mates to find friendship with and hang out around. It can be a bit much, even with them being mated, to always have a bunch of men around.”
“Friendship, I can do that, but I cannot do all the other services listed in these contracts. Manager Sejin, how will this even get approved by PMS? I don’t qualify to be a playmate.” 
“Miss Y/n, sit down and let us go over the contract that Namjoon-ssi and I had drafted for you. Maybe that will help if you see the modifications which have already been approved by your employer.”
Taking a seat, the two of you go over the contract clause by clause. It broke down to basically say,
1—You wouldn’t be expected to do any housework, cooking, lifting, working out, driving, or video gaming (Manager Sejin said it needed to be in there because of the maknae line) until medically cleared.
2—The Prime Alpha himself would pay for all of your personal expenses while you were staying at the pack house during the contract period.
3—BigHit would grant a salary that was more than enough to pay for your flat, utilities, and other regular bills. To be honest, it was enough to pay off your useless student loan, too.
4—The contract lasted for 8 weeks and can be extended or modified at your request and the Bangtan Pack's agreement.
But what caught your attention the most was they had left out the clause regarding ruts. 
“Manager Sejin, What about the rut clause?”
“Ah yes, let me get Namjoon-ssi for that one,” he says while getting up and retrieving the Prime Alpha from the living where they were all waiting.
“Hello, Miss Y/L/N, Manager Sejin said you had a question about the contract for me?” Namjoon questions as he takes a seat on the other side of the table next to said manager.
“Yes,” you sit up, trying to maintain professionalism. “I have gone over the contact, and while your manager has done well explaining it, I have one that, apparently, you must answer.”
Looking him dead in the eye, which causes the Prime Alpha to shift in his seat, you ask, “Why is there no rut clause in the proposed contract? I thought you said that was in it?”
It was cute how red his face became when you asked, “Umm… well... There are a couple of reasons.” Licking his lips, Namjoon glanced at Manager Sejin, who only looked amused and couldn’t wait to hear what he would come up with.
“Firstly, right now, none of the pack are set to have a rut within the time that Dr. Blackwell said you would need to heal. However, and I guess this is more of the real reason why some of the mates have expressed a concern… well, the pack is not…”
“Prime Alpha, I get it. The elder Mr. Kim and Yoongi expressed that I may be appealing,” you smile only to cover the small pang of hurt as you say, “but that doesn’t mean any of you would want me that way.”
Manager Sejin shakes his head as confusion fills Namjoon's face, ”No, no… God, why am I so bad at this?” Namjoon says, running his hands over his face.
“You are appealing, very much so, and the rut clause is not in the contract because the pack doesn’t want you to think that skinship is off the table,” Jungkook startles the three of you from the hall.
“I'm Sorry, Joonie-hyung. We could all hear you floundering, and I couldn’t take it anymore,” he says, walking in and sitting next to you.
“Thank you, Kookie. You all know that I can get lost for the right words sometimes.”
“Mr. Jeon, why would not having the rut clause in the contract make you think that?” you ask, turning to give him your full attention.
“Skinship consists of many things: hugs, holding hands, sniff kisses, pecks on the head or cheeks, massaging, cuddling, and scenting, to name a few. At this point, you and I have done a few of these. You also have done some with Yoongi and…”
Jungkook takes hold of your good hand and brings your wrist to his nose. Sniffing, a smile beams on his face, and his leg starts to bounce, “Yep, and you were also scented by Jinnie-hyung.”
“Miss Y/L/N, many playmates take these actions as openings or requests to have intercourse with us. That is not what we have wanted from any of them. Therefore, it is why that rut clause is always added to their contracts,” Namjoon adds. 
“Oh. I am not used to skinship outside of my family pack,” glancing at Namjoon and then at Jungkook. “But… It did feel comforting with Yoongi’s hugs, your cuddles, and the elder Mr. Kim’s scenting. While I am not used to it, it does feel nice.”
A slight blush heats your face and neck. Thinking back to the comfort of Yoongi holding you, the calmness Jungkook and Seokjin brought you, and the warmth you felt in Hoseok's arms. All the men in the room smile at your confession.
“Good, I would have been very sad if I had to stop cuddling with you, Y/n,” Jungkook says while playing with your fingers. 
“Miss Y/n,” Manager Sejin calls your attention, “Does that mean you will sign the contract?”
Your eyes drop to the paper in front of you, the empty line above the word ‘playmate’ waiting for your signature. Taking a deep breath, you smell the vanilla again, this time mixed with a leather-like smell and cookies.
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“What happened?” asked Taehyung.
“Did she agree?” inquired Jimin.
“Don’t tell me – we lost her already,” demands Seokjin.
Yoongi stands from his seat and makes toward the dining room to try one more time to talk you into staying. However, he stops when you enter the room, holding a packet of papers.
“Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jimin,” you call their names as your eyes look over the room and come to an end on the last one, “Seokjin.”
The boys and their Alphas shudder at having you say their actual names. Each step forward, like you are taking a roll call as they wait for some indication as to what is going on.
With a deep and respectful 90-degree bow, you say in Korean, “My name is Y/L/N, Y/N. I put myself in your hands as your new playmate.”
Previous / Next
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Taglist - CLOSED
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ozzgin · 1 year ago
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HIIII I was wondering if I could request an Inuyasha x Reader lime of the reader trying to explain to him that in the modern era people have sex for *fun* not just to have kids?? I think it’d be really silly lol!! If not that’s ok :3 take your time and take care of urself <333
—⛓️ (chain user anon)
It’s something I have considered given the amount of kids that popped up in the sequel, haha. I shall do my best, I’ve never written limes before so I’m curious to see if I can actually expand on more provocative topics. Thank you for the suggestion!
Inuyasha x Reader Headcanons
Featuring Inuyasha and a reader showing him the ways of casual intercourse. This is a lime so expect vaguely NSFW content.
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You’ve been dating for months now and yet Inuyasha has barely touched you, save for the occasional kiss. Which you partly understand, you wouldn’t expect him to aggressively start groping you in front of the others, but even when you’re alone he keeps a certain distance and it confuses you greatly.
It doesn’t help that he’s a massive tsundere and getting him to talk about his feelings is a Herculean task. He’ll blush, avoid eye contact and just bark short, vague responses in hopes that you’ll stop pestering him.
You reach the point of exasperation when you ask him point blank if he’s just not attracted to you, in which case why even bother dating? His eyes widen in shock, completely taken aback by your statement. Was that what you’ve been thinking? He vehemently denies it but you don’t back down without an explanation. Finally he mumbles a barely audible reasoning. “I just don’t want any kids right now.” Now it’s your turn to stare. “Wha- How is that related to anything?”
It dawns on you that Inuyasha associates sex solely with reproduction. It’s not like he’s had any context to be provided a different view. You hold back the snicker that was about to escape your lips, as you don’t want to embarrass him any further. You find his archaic beliefs cute. Thankfully you’ve been prepared for quite some time now, so you quickly reassure him that it is, in fact, entirely possible to avoid offspring while still having fun. As you expand on your explanation you pull out the small box of condoms that you’ve been keeping in your backpack.
He doesn’t really understand the object you’re showing him so you decide that a concrete demonstration will clear up any confusion. Although you have to wrestle him onto the ground to convince him to take his clothes off. There are five stages of grief and you wonder if there’s a similar concept regarding someone too embarrassed to have sex. Refusal to undress, anger at being seen naked, bargaining to leave it for another time - and this is where it takes the turn - curiosity about giving it a try and finally, acceptance.
You don’t have to struggle too much, truth be told. Your body is the final argument and he can’t say no to the sight. Within moments he’s biting your collarbone and panting for more.
Once he gets over the initial shyness he’s almost like a dog in heat. He’ll constantly find excuses to temporarily separate from the group and have his alone time with you. He’ll insist on following you trough the well and to the store so he can proudly stand next to you when you restock on condoms. “You bet I’m the one hitting that” he thinks with a smug expression. Dear Lord, you’ve created a monster.
Though sometimes after your special time together, as you rest your head on his chest, he will lazily daydream about leaving the safety aside and actually starting a family with you. His ears twitch excitedly at the thought. And then a new idea strays away from it: can he still do it with you if you’re pregnant?
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k4shixe · 1 month ago
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Out in the Night.
Staring; Shota Aizawa x gn!student
Summary; Due to the lack of rest you get because of your mother and her boyfriends, you missed your stop and are all by yourself at a random location when someone stops by to help.
Warnings; mentions of abuse, horrible mother that mistreats reader, boyfriends of mother that mistreats reader, police, bruises, trauma(?)
Word count; 2k+
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You jumped out of bed when you realised you slept in, your mum shouting at you for creating all that noise. You knew that witch was the one to change your alarm but you couldn’t do anything. Shes your only family and she gets paid to look after you but that doesn't satisfy her greed enough and now shes forcing you to become a hero. You cant lie that you obviously wanted to be one, but it isn’t you true passion, but anything to keep you mother quiet was enough to keep you motivated. You joined UA after the hardest training you had ever done, the mean comments from your mother and one of her new boyfriends that came on a regular did tire you more then expected. Nevertheless, joning UA was meant to be that big achievement you could have, a new life, new friends and certainly more time to be away from your mother. But you never could understand why noone talked to you. Was it how you looked? You did have dark eye bags and lots of bruises and marks all over your body because of your dear old mother and all of her boyfriends from over the years. No matter how hard you tried covering them up, but no matter what you did you always somehow missed a spot. When someone did ask about it, after hesitating and staring you for a while, you told them sheepishly that it was from training. Big Mistake. No one wanted to hang out with the psycotic kid with marks all over them. You made peace with that after the first few weeks trying to make friends and now just do everything yourself.
“Y/n. No sleeping in class. Detention” Mr Aizawa glares at you as you rubbed your eyes trying to get the sleep out. This was the 3rd time today and even though you swear you had a good sleep (1 hour nap), you kept on drifting off. You looked up at Aizawa, who walked back to the front of the class and continued copying down the notes on the board.
When hearing the lunch bell ring, you instinctively got up as you were always the first one out but a hand was placed on the stack of books you were just about to carry to your locker.
“Hmm? I thought I said detention”
You looked up and made eye contact with Aizawa who was giving you a stern look as he quirked a brow.
“Oh yeah, haha I forgot…” you said quietly before sitting back down. A few of your classmates gave you a pitied look, a few waved to you saying that “they would wait for you” and “save you a spot”. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. What liers they were. No one ever saved you anything.
Looking back at the man infront of you who was now checking your workbook for completion.
“Not even half the work was done. What were you doing y/n?” He asked rhetorically. Of course he knows what you were doing. Everyone does. He gave you a moment to think before continuing.
“I am expecting the completion of work and a 3 page research paper on this topic aswell to make up for it.”
You sat their silently as he slid your notebook back onto your desk before walking towards his sleeping bag.
You got up right after, packing your things and headed out for lunch, not bothering to stop by the cafeteria and going straight to the secluded spot in the garden where you sat by a tree where you'd rest at. It was your happy place. No one ever came here and there was just enough sunlight and cold breeze that made it feel heavenly. The only people that came here were people taking a short cut to their classes, but rarely anyone done that as most people found it by mistake like you. The sound of the slight wind and birds that made the tree their home comforted you to a point where you fell asleep.
You soon woke up by the sounds of your English teacher, Present Mic, shouting at some nearby student to head to class. You followed and headed to your evening classes before heading home soon after. Being exhausted by the lack of sleep, you immediately fell asleep as soon as you sat on the seat of the train.
But you were in a deep sleep state to realise the trains stopping at its stops, and you missed your one. You soon woke up by the train conductor, who lightly shook you awake. You thanked him before rushing out as it was almost midnight. You had no idea where you were, everything looking blurry and dark due to the lack of light around. You opted to sitting outside a gas station before checking you phone. No charge. Right. You didnt think charging your phone was necessary. How stupid. You sat their on the curb, as you shivered time to time from the wind and lack of clothing you were wearing which was just your school uniform. You rested your chin on your knees and zones out thinking what would happen now and how you woud get home. Atleast you mum doesn't care of realise that your home or not. Not that she ever does care. Her boyfriends and alchole always keep her occupied.
A light ‘clank’ to the street light near you and was illuminating your presence grabbed your attention. You look up, your eyes squinting from the sudden change of brightness, all you could make out was a figure with red glowing eyes and something like a scarf floating around them. You heard something like a sigh from the figure before they jumped down onto the pavement you were on. Your eyes widened as the light now illuminated the figure.
'"Well? Got anyhting to say?"
“Mr Aizawa! Oh uh, what a fancy seeing you here!” You jumped at his sudden appearance, mumbling whatever you could think of.
“Y/n, is this why your always tired?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he crossed his arms.
“partly?...” You say unsure and give a weak smile.
He glared at you before sighing.
“Go home. Its already 11:50pm.”
“Right… funny story actually… the trains kinda stopped working for the night and I also don’t know what part of Japan im in.” You sheepishly say, looking down at your feet in embarrassment.
He tilted his head slightly to the side, observing your every move like you were someone to look out for. Heck, maybe you were. He saw you still had your school uniform on,your bag and the way you were shaking slightly due to the freezing cold temperatures of the night. He sighed and gestured for you to stand before taking out his cell phone and sending a quick text. You really didn't want to test your luck, but your curiousity had the better of you and you asked;
“Uhh… who’s that to?” You ask hesitatingly.
“The police.”
“WAIT WHAT! WHY!”
“their going to take you home. Did you think I was going to do that?” He said making direct eye contact with you.
“Well… no… but I thought I’d just stay here for a little while longer…”
You spoke starring at your feet. Even though it sounded weird, This was the most you felt free in a long time. Your mum wasn't here to shout at you and tell you how worthless you were (you already knew you were) while she threw something or hit you. Her boyfriends never stood up for you either, always joining in on the 'fun' as they called it. You really didn't want this to end.
Aizawa sighs, noticing your shy demeanour and walk towards you. You shut your eyes thinking he was going to shout at you but opened them up in surprise at the comforting hand placed on your shoulder.
“Y/n, I’m not sure whats going on with you but it isn't good. Being alone at this time of night especially at your age and with the amount of sleep you have is dangerous. So let me ask you one time and one time only. Whats going on?”
You stare up at him in utter disbelief. He cares about you? The Mr Aizawa, the same man who gave you detention and extra work the very same day, was now asking if your alright? The shock must've showed on your face because Aizawa sqwised your shoulder lightly to get your attention back.
"Huh? Oh, nothing is going on! I'm perfectly fine! I just fell asleep on the train and missed my stop is all."
Aizawa made a questioning face, wether to believe you or not but then nodded and stood back up.
"I can't leave you all alone here. The police will be a while too since we're quiet far away from a station. You can either tell me what happened, in detail" he emphisaied "Or, I'll find out myself."
Find out himself? You won't, no you can't let him do that. You look up to him, look for any sign of a bluff. You make direct eye contact with him and he looks dead serious.
"So?"
Í'll- I'll tell you" you sigh in defeat.
After a while of stuttering, and long intense stares from Aizawa. You managed to say a (extremely) summaries version of your life at home. How you got the bruises, why your always so tierd, missing a some (very) important details because after everythig your mum put you through. She was still your mum and you didn't want ruin her life just yet. Aizawa must've gotten that from how many times you stopped yourself and thought over if it was good to say. He look at you, you looked like a kid trying to justify stealing a candy bar from a store. It was wrong, yet you still tried making it sound like it was normal to do, just staring at your feet as you played nevously with your hands. He sighed and took a few steps towards you, and ruffled your hair.
"It's alright Y/n, your not in any trouble. I just wanted to know because I was concerned."
You stood their for a second, processing what was happening, and before could stop yourself, a tear ran down your cheek and a few more followed after that. Aizawa watched as you quickly tried to wipe them away, why did you think crying was bad? He never understood that, even when getting hit by Bakugo's explosions or a boulder Midoriya accidently broke off while training, most people would cry or atleast complain about the pain. But you never once did, just shaking it off, even when it looked broken, you just asked to go to the nurse and would come back the next lesson acting like nothing ever happened and instead apologised for being in the way.
Aizawa could hear you sniffle and before you could say something, he gently put a hand to the back of your head and pulled you closer so that your head was resting on him. You tensed up for a moment, as you didn’t expect the sudden show of affection but you kept quiet as your tears kept falling. After a few minutes of silence, and when you no longer sniffled, you slowly raised your head, you noticed how your tears stained his hero costume and felt embarrassed. But when you looked up you saw Aizawa looking at you with concern.
“Do you feel better?” He asked not worrying about his costume.
“Yeah. Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Just as he finished his sentence, the first few police cars showed up and before you knew it, you said bye to Aizawa (who was rethinking to even let you go home) and left.
You got home and unfortunately, the police had to notify your mother that you were missing in the first place but now you were back. She acted caring but once the police left, you got the punishment of your life. Your mother shouted and beat you until her new boyfriend had to stop her because even he notice it was getting a bit too much. You didnt go to school the next day because of how many new bruises you had gained, thinking no one would notice. The day after when you did go to school, Aizawa pulled you out just before class ended and all the students were packing up and immediately asking about your absence.
“Its nothing. I just wanted to catch up on sleep” it was a bad lie, but what else could you say?
Aizawa noticed the bruise on your head earlier which your ‘covered’ with your hair and realised from your conversation something must if happened with your mum.
“Fine. You dont have to tell me but, take this and give me a call if you ever feel like your in danger”
He handed you a folded piece of paper with his personal number on it. You thanked him and stuffed it in your pocket before leaving for the day. On the way back home in the train, as you stares out the window, you smiled to yourself thinking that its nice to have someone care about you.
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A/n; Hi Guys! This is my first post in months! Omg its been so long. I realised I never written anything for Aizawa even though I have so many drafts for him (he’s my fav too) so this one is for him. I apologies in advance as this could’ve been better but here it is. Enjoy! :)
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theemporium · 2 years ago
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ooh remus x bestfriend!reader, obvi they're in love but remus goes on a date with someone else and shit's just angsty. i love angst haha. but a happy ending would be nice
thank you for requesting!🖤
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Remus Lupin knew he fucked up.
There were so many signs that should have pointed out that very fact to him earlier but he had failed to let them really sink in, and now he was sitting across from a girl he really didn’t care about with an immense amount of guilt and buzzed energy as his brain and body and soul screamed at him for being so fucking stupid. 
He didn’t know why he did it. Maybe because a part of him wanted to go out with the witch who had been ogling him across the library, maybe because Sirius kept teasing him that he was in love with you and he wanted to prove his friend wrong. Whatever reason it was, it hadn’t stopped him from walking over, flashing the witch a smile and chatting away to her until a date had been set. 
The first bell that should have rang in his head that this was all wrong was when he told you he had a date on Saturday and the way your face fell for a split second was enough to make his stomach twist in discomfort. That gut-punching feeling that didn’t disappear when you quickly smiled at him and told him that you couldn’t wait to hear about his date. 
The next bell should have rang when he watched the witch approach him in the courtyard where they agreed to meet before their walk to Hogsmeade, and his first thought was that you would have never done your hair in the frevolent manner she had done so. But still, Remus kept pushing his feelings away and continued on with the date.
Now he was sitting beside her in a cramped booth in The Three Broomsticks, his thigh pressed against her thigh and his shoulder pressed against her shoulder and it was wrong. It was so very wrong and he couldn’t brush away the feeling no matter how hard he tried. He kept trying to tell himself that he was being dramatic, that Sirius had just gotten in his head and now he was overthinking everything. 
But then she tried to kiss him and her lips had barely brushed his before Remus was scrambling away from the booth, spluttering out some half-assed apology mixed with an excuse before he bolted out of the establishment before he could even really feel guilty for the scene he created and the embarrassment he may have let the witch feel. 
He couldn’t let himself feel anything except the unexplainable feeling to be far away from everyone else but you. 
It had been a blur of emotions and twisted thoughts as he made his way back to Hogwarts, the chill biting into his cheeks and the tip of his nose but he didn’t care. He practically ran through the corridors to Gryffindor Tower, bursting through the painting after he rambled out the password and fell short when he found himself face to face with a displeased looking Lily Evans. 
He tried to step around her but she quickly stepped in his way. He tried again but Lily put herself in his path once again.
“Lily, whatever this is—”
“She cares about you, Remus,” Lily stated simply. 
Remus fell short. “What?”
“She’s your best friend and she cares about you and your happiness,” Lily continued. “And it’s that same reason that she will keep her mouth shut because she cares about you being happy more than anything else, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her.”
His face fell a little when he realised what she was talking about. “Lily, I–”
“Don’t make it worse for her,” she said in a softer voice, the affection the redhead had grown for you over the years really shining through her words. You had become the sister she lost.
“I want to make it right,” Remus said in a serious voice.
Her brows furrowed. “What are—”
“I can’t do this right now,” he muttered before moving past the redhead with an apology, his long legs making it easy to take the steps up to the girls’ dormitories three steps at a time before he found himself standing outside your room. His fist thumped against the door as he impatiently waited for you to open.
No response.
He knocked again.
No response.
He knocked for a third time and he picked up the sound of shuffling from the other side of the door before he heard footsteps. And then the door swung open. 
“Lily, I already said—” you paused, sniffling a little. “Remus?”
“Oh love,” his whispered response was the only thing that was able to leave his lips when he noticed your red rimmed eyes. You had been crying. You had been crying because of him. Because he was stupid and didn’t realise what was right in front of him this whole time.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, a frown forming on your lips. “Shouldn’t you be on your date?”
“I left,” he said simply.
Your frown deepened. “You left?”
“Yes.”
“Why? You seemed excited,” you said, clearing your throat a little.
“Because I realised something,” Remus told you.
“What?”
“That I was on a date with the wrong girl,” he said as he took a step towards you, his large hands cupping your face. “That I was an idiot for not realising that what I really wanted was right in front of me. That the girl I wanted was my best friend.”
Your eyes widened. “Remus—”
“You’re the one I want, baby,” he whispered, his thumbs swiping your cheeks. “Just you, nobody else.”
Your hands fisted the material of his knitted sweater as you pulled him down, your lips meeting in a messy but passionate kiss. His hands squished your cheeks before they dropped to cup your neck, keeping you in place as he slowly began to guide you back into your room.
“Let me make it up to you for being an idiot?” he murmured against your lips.
He delighted in the way your smile felt against his. 
“Give it your best shot, Lupin.”
.
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sickwhispers · 29 days ago
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glisten x reader but reader is a menace towards society plslslsl I BEG (also love ur fanfics!! i love ur writing)
TYSM I LOVE YOU
FOR THE BIT
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Pairing: Glisten x (Chaotic) reader
Relationship: romantic
Warning:
Type: headcanons + drabble
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The first introduction you two had with each other was a ball being thrown in his face after you accidentally missed your shot
What were you trying to hit?
An array of cans you had stolen from one of the shelves in the kitchen
You wanted to practice aiming and glisten just so happen to walk through the living room at the wrong time
Luckily, though, you were horrible at throwing and the impact was weak
Even after you both started dating, not once has he ever let that singular memory between the two of you fade
Especially during arguments
Although, by now he's gotten used to the chaos you brought
Part of him likes to think it adds extra spice to your lives
The other part wishes you'd stop tackling him in a hug everytime you saw him
Or, at least, that's what he wants to think
It's always nice having your attention, even when you can be a bit... dangerous with it
No matter how hard he tried, the second your arms are wrapped around him in a hug, your body weighing him down on the floor and he struggled to process just how fast you had jumped onto him, he could never hold back a smile
He's seen the destruction you've caused for the other toons
Hell, you should be lucky he loves you so much
He's lied for you
To keep you out of trouble, of course
One prank gone too far and he's found himself trying to distract the poor victim with positive outlooks and please don't go interrogating y/n they didn't do it don't go talk to them they're innocent and-
Safe to say he isn't the best liar when he gets nervous
It's also hard to convince others you're not the culprit when it's well known just how much trouble you cause
"Glisten."
"Hm? Yes? What do you want?"
"Where are they."
Glisten's eyes trail down to the case folder held loosely in Rodgers hand, ichor dripping down from the bottom edge and creating a black puddle beneath it. Rodger really wasn't in the mood to guess, and his first instict was to ask the person who hung around you the most.
"Uhm-" immediately, glistens flashed over to the couch on the other side of the living room. "Ah... haha... well, that's not so important, is it? I'm sure this is all a huge misunderstanding. Y/n wouldn't do such a thing."
"I didn't say y/n's name, did i?" If glisten wasn't as perfect as he was, he would've caused a distraction and ran away. But, his top priority was making sure you didn't get your free roam privileges taken away again as punishment. How would you visit him if you were too busy locked away in your room?
You had a nasty habit of causing trouble, fleeing the scene, and hiding
Which, often times, left glisten alone to defend your honor
He knew known of your actions were malicious
That was obvious from the look of guilt that spread across your face the second you realized you mightve taken a joke too far
But most of the time, no one was safe from your acts of chaos
Glisten only hopes you'll be extra forgiving when it comes to him
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insolentgod · 1 year ago
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⚠️Attention:⚠️ very long post. It talks a little about: state of lack, take your desire off the pedestal, time it takes for a manifestation, get distracted about your manifestation , self-concept, and Cassies
one more night high and having crazy epiphanies about manifestations. and another day using a translator to translate my text to post here, because I haven't claimed to be fluent in English yet 😛 So, as I always warn, if there are possible grammatical errors, it's for this reason.
I'm here to bring you an analogy I created while discussing with a friend haha. (Yes, this time there's nothing about lana del rey!)
you know those people who humiliate themselves for others? Who do everything for someone specific to love them, try to talk to them even if it's unhealthy, or beg them to stay in their lives. (yes, it's quite depressing and sad)
i haven't been like that much in life, usually when someone didn't care about me, i cared even less about them. but I won't lie, there have been situations where I may have humiliated myself a little, but it's human.
anyway, going straight to my analogy, let's imagine that you struggling to manifest something is a friend "Cassie," and the manifestation will be her ex-boyfriend, okay? (i swear it will make sense in the end)
what I write outside the parentheses is Cassie's situation, and what's inside the parentheses is possibly the situation you're going through on your manifestation journey.
okay, you have this friend Cassie who keeps saying that her ex-boyfriend doesn't care about her, doesn't respond to messages, and shows no signs, and she's going crazy and desperate about it (just like you when you see no progress in your manifestation). so she does EVERYTHING to get him back (just like you when you try multiple methods non-stop and feel needy). and as Cassie's friend, you think, "poor cassie, she doesn't deserve to suffer like this" (and she really doesn't deserve it, just as you don't deserve to suffer for your manifestations). there are also moments when she sends a message for you saying, "I'll forget him this time, I promise." but after two days, she's there messaging him again (just like you affirm on the first day all motivated and trying to convince yourself that this time your manifestation will come true, but after a few days, you see no progress and start panicking), and then she gets very sad because she thinks they will never get back together and she will never be happy with him again (just like you think you can't manifest anything, that the universe hates you, that you will never get what you want, that the loa doesn't work). But meanwhile, there are other people out there getting back with their exes and you admire them, wondering what it would be like if it were you... (just like when you look at other people's success stories and think "why can't I do it?") spoiler: You can do it too, honey. If everyone else can do it, so can you. Wake up.
If I were Cassie's friend, I would tell her to STOP acting like that and start valuing herself and just distract herself. because let's be honest, men ALWAYS come back, right? 🤣 and many people may disagree with me on this and think that if she doesn't chase after the guy, he won't come either. but that's how it works for me, even before I started using the law. every time I started valuing myself and stopped begging for others' love, the person came to me. so let's agree with my thinking on this, okay?
and one more point that I think is worth mentioning is that if Cassie really doesn't want to do this alone, maybe a manifestation coach would be a good idea (if it were a real situation, I would suggest her to seek a therapist). There are nuances about "manifestation coaches," I honestly don't use them and I recommend working on your self-concept. but it's an option if you want, but please do thorough research and find a trustworthy one.
returning, what can you do to not be another Cassie? I'm telling you to stop doing whatever you're doing to try to achieve your desire? no. just get out of the state of neediness and desperation, like a Cassie. you don't need that, my love. you don't need to worry, "Is my manifestation coming?" You don't need to use a thousand methods because you don't think it's enough. whatever you believe will bring your desires, will indeed bring your desire. If you believe that jumping three times, building a castle, and kicking an elderly person will give you what you want, guess what? If you do all that, then you will get what you desire. and if you believe that affirming once in your life will get you a beachfront mansion, guess what? you will achieve that.
so, to not be a Cassie:
1 - trust what you're saying, please trust yourself. nnow that ONLY WHAT YOU THINK is the truth, and it will be. (my last long post talks about this exactly, I highly recommend it, okay).
2 - take your desire off the pedestal. your desire may be your biggest dream in life, I don't care. take it off the pedestal. the powerful person who can have anything they want is YOU, not your desire. tou are a thousand times greater than your desire. you don't chase after your desire, your desire chases after you. you know when manifestation coaches tell you to start manifesting just a blue butterfly or a candy? well, it's because for you, that's not difficult. It's something you find easy to manifest and know it's totally possible to have. but you can literally manifest a Porsche at the same speed as manifesting an ice cream, okay? take your desire off the pedestal; you are fully capable of having it.
3 - get out of the state of lack. In the law of assumption, some people talk a lot about states and some manifest just by being in the state of the wish fulfilled and ready, they succeed. but the state of lack is literally when you feel the lack, the absence of your desire. you don't feel like you have it or you don't feel worthy of it, so you probably fall into a spiral of despair with millions of thoughts like "what will I do if I don't achieve it?" "I don't see any progress" "time is passing and I don't have my results". Anyway,
- But what do I do to heal my state of lack?
just don't be in it 💐💐💐 yes, it's easy, okay. please believe that it's easy and it will be. I know it's very easy to affirm when you're motivated, especially after reading a success story. but motivation doesn't last forever and I don't think it's healthy for you to keep restoring your motivation by reading success stories all the time. there's nothing wrong with it, but you don't need success stories to heal. every time you feel like you're entering the state of lack, start trusting yourself. when it happens to me, I start affirming "none of this, I have my desires" "I don't care about what my 3D shows me" "I have what I want", I also imagine myself with my desire as if I really have it now. I'll admit, there are times when I start affirming this to avoid entering the state of lack and at first it feels like I'm feeling wrong, the feeling of hopelessness even. but regardless of how I feel, I keep visualizing and eventually start feeling strong and motivated again. in those moments, you have to be strong and disciplined with yourself, okay? you can do it.
4 - try not to care about time or the 3D reality. i know it's difficult, but please live in your imagination and believe that if you have it in your imagination, you have it now. about time, it depends, okay? Some people manifest in seconds because they believe they can, while others manifest in weeks because they think it takes weeks. if you're the second type of person, you can definitely manifest in seconds if you allow yourself to do so. self-concept affirmations help a lot in this aspect. Just don't worry about time in the 3D reality. If you know that in your mind you have your desire NOW, then you have it now. once you're fully living in your imagination, it will come in the 3D reality. I know it's difficult, but just trust yourself and your mind. I promise that if you live 100% in your mind, your desire can come very quickly.
5 - distract yourself! don't spend the whole day thinking about your desire. usually, the desire comes when you accept that you have it and continue living your life. I know it's complicated, especially when it's something you want, but distract yourself to avoid excessive and negative thoughts about your manifestations. and please get off tumblr for a while
6 - improve your self-concept, please. Just do that, and your manifestation journey will be much easier.
I think that's it for today. I talked a lot as always 😛😛
I usually don't respond to people asking for help here on my blog (mainly because I don't receive any requests) but if you're having problems, you can send me a message, and I'll respond ❤‍🩹 I just want to help someone like loa bloggers helped me when I needed it. good night everyone, and stay hydrated.
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babyaiker · 5 months ago
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Mr pookiebooks can you pls draw low honor Kieran 😈 maybe in Colm’s big fluffy coat tysm tysm your artwork makes me squeal and giggle and spasm with delight
Wassup Duckie I got u pookie >:3
I’ll do ya one better, here’s my spin on a lil “what if Kieran was leader of the O’driscolls AU” too cuz I got way too outta hand with the coat
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- I don’t imagine in canon Kieran EVER got along with Colm. Never liked his ideals, his methods, his vibe, a true “ride with em’ or die” entrapment situation. Awful
- It’s the same for this AU, but in order to save his own ass he becomes the biggest kiss-ass to ever kiss-ass. He just does whatever he’s told because he knows he can do it, and it keeps him safe.
- Bro sycophants so hard he ends up becoming one of Colm’s right-hand men. And despite really not wanting to, Colm gets arrested and writes to have Kieran be next in command. 
- The gang doesn’t actually fall apart immediately, but it starts changing how it goes about things.
- Rather than robbing, the O’driscoll boys begin taking up bounties, putting criminals away better than the sheriffs ever did due to their power in numbers. This practically forces the law within the small towns they occupy to tolerate them, as without them, crime would go back to it’s uncontrollable state.
- Through offering protection from other gangs, the boys are able to make good money extorting entire towns throughout New Hanover. Of course the money’s still dirty though, as the O’driscolls aren’t afraid to create some new problems if the towns stop paying. 
- Kieran essentially introduces a more “mutually beneficial” money-maker into the gang.
- He may be low honor but I still see him as the awkward gentle soul he is in canon, and would prefer to rest easy knowing he’s committing the least amount of murders required.
- Kieran becomes known as this lanky stoic guy who never talks, who ripped the coat off of Colm’s dead body, and uses Colm’s men like guard dogs.
- While he’s definitely gained a fair bit of confidence as leader, he chooses to never speak directly to those he’s dealing with, instead whispering to his men to speak for him. It’s great for his scary gang-leader image, but in actuality it’s cuz he doesn’t wanna stutter or say something weird in front of the ops. 
(Shout out to the LISA: The Painful fans in the crowd, I stole that idea from the game) (fun fact the reason the image is cut off is cuz I drew him too tall haHA)
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yakichoufd · 5 months ago
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Saw the answer about struggling with your art and I just wanted to say that I'm trying to learn how to draw and your art is inspiration for me , I want to be able to draw like you someday I really love your style and I think you're really funny.
Everyone goes to times they struggle with their creations but I just wanted you to know that I look at your stuff and it's a goal for.me to get this good.
I'm trying to pick it up in my late 20s so I struggle a lot with lack of progress but looking at art like yours makes me think "I wanna do stuff like that someday" so it's a huge motivation an a big part of the reason o haven't quit yet.
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Thank you so much for your message, dear Anon! I started drawing again in my late 20s too (now I'm 33 and I picked up drawing again around 27. I used to draw in college but once I started working, I thought I shouldn't draw fanarts anymore (I only draw fanarts. I am not interested by original creation)...I used to work for TV animation and I thought my coworkers would get mad to know I make shipping fanarts LMAO (just so you know, people who works in animation love making fanarts!!! I blocked myself for a stupid assumption. And people don't give a damn if you draw shipping fanarts. Most of the time people who works in animation are super chill and open minded!)) Drawing after a very long break is really hard and to be honnest, I never see my improvement until I look at my old art. I try to remind myself I didn't know how to draw multiple characters in a same scene 4 years ago. I didn't understand composition either. I thought I would never be a smut fanartist cause my anatomy was wonky and now that's how I make a living. Last year I thought I would never be able to draw comics and here I am haha! Maybe I'm feeling down about my art because I am scared of disappointing people? Having an audience is so awesome but a little bit intimidating too! I also think my expectations are too high for my current level, but that's also how we keep pushing ourselves to get better! If you don't notice your mistakes then you never improve, right? Making art is an endless journey of frustration hahaha! Few things that helped me greatly lately is to study from pictures and also to stop trying to make everything "perfect". Maybe it could help you as well! Good luck with your art journey. It is hard and painful but it is always very rewarding to know you created something <3
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dark-frosted-heart · 3 months ago
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Roger Barel Main Route - Blind Love Chapter 25 His POV
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As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there
As if time had stopped, the conservatory remained quiet and peaceful.
Moonlight filtered through the soot-stained holes of the ceiling, creating a soft halo around Kate’s hair.
I had brought Kate to the place where I hung out with Alec to show her a “certain something”.
Roger: Wait. I’m positive I left it around here somewhere…
I pulled out several folded sheets of paper from an envelope that was hidden under a flower pot.
Kate: …A letter.
Roger: Like I said, Alec left me a letter before he died. I really wanted to keep it close to me, but… I didn’t want to get stuck in memories.
I didn’t need that childish desire to get lost in memories when I had to deal with fighting against despair every day.
Kate: …You’ve already read it so many times that you don’t need it with you.
Roger: Huh?
(...How did you know?)
Kate: The letter. It’s wrinkled and worn.
I handed Kate, who had always been kind and showed concern for others since we met, the letter.
Roger: Hm
Kate: …Can I read it?
Roger: Since it’s you, I want you to read it.
I wanted Kate to know the secret I’ve been keeping to myself.
Kate: Thank you…
“To my little friend, Roger”—that’s how the letter started.
It then went on about how if anything happened to Alec, he wanted me to forget about him and the research on the Cursed he had done here. And—
“Hey, Roger. The world we live in is very cruel, isn’t it.
It’s full of things beyond our control and our hearts bleed out just by being alive.
But I also think the world we live in is beautiful.
The sky’s blue when you look up, the birds sing, and sometimes someone will find hope that’s like a miracle.
The world is cruel, yet endlessly beautiful.
That’s why the world is worth living in and fighting against despair for.
My dear little friend, you will no doubt encounter despair in the future. However, don’t let yourself be defeated.
Your life will always be beautiful.”
Kate looked up at me from the letter, her gaze sweet and gentle.
Roger: Those words saved me, and I’ve been living by them my whole life. With those words, I’ll be fine. I can fight against despair even when I’m by myself. I’m strong, I won’t be defeated, I won’t be lonely, I won’t let my soul rot, and I’ll fulfill my ambition. That’s been my mantra until I met you.
Kate: …Huh?
The way Kate blinked in confusion was so adorable that I found myself smiling.
I didn’t want to succumb to my curse, so I always repeated to myself “I won’t be a traitor” as if to fight against my “betrayal” curse.
However.
Roger: I’ve always claimed that I’d never betray anyone, but maybe I’ve…been betraying my own heart.
(Stubbornly saying “I won’t be a traitor” may have been a way for me to ignore my true feelings)
(I’m almost sure)
Roger: Deep down in my heart, I’ve been searching. For someone I could laugh with by my side.
(Kate became my dog, assistant, partner, and then lover)
Roger: Someone to chase after my ambitions with.
(Kate is with me now)
Roger: Someone to snap me out of it when I’m falling into despair.
(Like the time she yelled at me in jail, I think…No, I don’t think I’ll ever forget about it)
Roger: Someone to teach me that, even if love’s pointless, it’s the best.
(This unidentifiable feeling called love definitely exists between us)
Roger: That “someone”—there’s no one else but you, Kate.
(Kate, I don’t want anyone else but you)
Kate: …
Roger: …I won’t find anyone else in the world.
I loved how Kate looked when she tried to hold back her tears.
Roger: Pfft…haha. What’s with that cute face?
Kate: As you can see, I’m trying to hold back my tears!
Roger: A~ah, I can’t take you seriously when you’re barking like that.
Roger: Pfft…Alright, alright. Hang in there.
Kate: Please stop talking already…
Kate looked up, trying to stop the tears from pooling at the corner of her eyes. But—
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Roger: Not gonna. I still got something to say to you. ‘Til now, I’ve been saying some pretty words with love, but… My main reason is that “I” enjoy being with you.
Kate: …
(“I” only wanna be with you. Until the day I stop breathing)
When Kate blinked in surprise, the tears she tried to hold back spilled out.
Kate: If you say something like that, then…waaahh~~
Any place where Kate cried cutely like this felt like the kindest, most peaceful place in the world.
Roger: With you, the world isn’t such a shitty place.
(Kate, I can’t abandon this shitty, yet beautiful world I live in when you’re in it)
(Even when against despair…I think that’s what makes this worth fighting for)
Kate: Roger…
Roger: Hm, what?
Kate:  Roger, Roger, Roger!
Roger: What?
With her face still wet with tears, Kate jumped into my arms with everything she had—
Kate: Roger, I love you!
(...Yeah, I know)
(I love you too. I know because you taught me what love is)
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Roger: A~ah, your face’s all wet. You really are so cute!
While holding Kate tight, I teased and spoiled her.
(A~ah, damn. I don’t think I’ll be content with life without her.
(Despair will always come after us because life isn’t kind)
(Because hope isn’t easy to come by)
(But still…)
Kate: Roger, you can keep teasing me all you want. You can bully me. You can do whatever. But promise me. That we’ll keep living together until the very end.
Roger: ……Yeah.
(Let’s give despair the finger and live together for as long as life lets us)
As if making a vow for the future, I stole a kiss from Kate and looked into her eyes.
Roger: I’m gonna push you around so much you’re gonna hate it. And that’s for life.
Kate: *sniffle*…Crying made me hungry…
(That wasn’t sexy at all. But maybe I’m crazy ‘cause I found it cute)
I couldn’t help but laugh when I felt this unscientific, but lovely feeling rise up in my heart.
Roger: Yeah, me too. Having you in my arms’ tired me out. So…
Kate and Roger: Let’s go eat.
—The conservatory was empty, except for the sound of laughter left behind.
Destiny, unrealizable dreams, incurable disease, war, poverty…
It just goes on.
This world’s a bargain sale of despair.
And it’s called “despair” because you can’t do anything about it.
However, that’s not something I’ll allow.
If you can’t overcome despair— then what’s the point of me, of us humans, being born?
That’s why…these days, we live our lives giving it the finger.
With the one we love.
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