#local idiot is very normal

[thecouncilacesideblog]

[thecouncilacesideblog]

Can confirm

Often loafs

[jopzer]

jamie thinks he's very funny. roy does not. (alt under cut where maybe roy thinks jamie is a little funny)

[bayleavesfromthevine]

it's 4:30am and i'm over here thinking about nobamai and how mai would make nails for nobara with her technique so that a part of her could always be by nobara's side

[angeliteonfridgeduty]

what does your url mean? what was the inspiration behind it? im curious!

It's a double reference! The "angelite" bit refers to the rock. More specifically, to a fanmade SU gemtype based on said rock. say hi to angelites from the hit roblox roleplay game gem galaxies

the particular angelite morph pictured above is one i was quite ill about at the time so. yup. they're in my name now. thanks cab 17 get in my soup jar and the "fridge duty" part is from another thing entirely. So there's this one game

called control And in that game there's a quest called Fridge Duty. won't tell too much because it probably counts as a spoiler but it involves a fridge that HAS to be stared at else it will uhhh. shit will happen and people will not survive :tada: the quest and the phrase "fridge duty" really burned itself into my consciousness for no reason in specific so. that's how they got here. and assembling that, we get angelite on fridge duty! yay! yippee! i am born! no clue how i got the idea to assemble those to be honest (i forget worse than a dieci fixer sorry) but appparently yes i did It was my discord display name at first, then i put it here when i made a tumblr account. and then it stuck forever here specifically :tada: so yyyup that's where my url comes from! :3

[thecouncilacesideblog]

Depending on the situation :

@sewer-sovereign-rat is Northern Lights or Sunlight

@playfulminxie is Candle Light or Moonlight

@thecouncilsinsideblog is Lightning or Street Light

[vifilms]

firefighter!abby who comes in every sunday morning to your floral shop, tucked in a tiny corner downtown. you’re usually tucked away in the back, doing floral arrangements, calculating your inventory, organizing new shipments, or just avoiding others in general. an introverted nature is ingrained into your bones. so, dina takes over the front counter. she’s sweet, kind enough to engage in conversation. big brown eyes and welcoming smile always seeming to put the customer’s at ease, assessing their needs as they step foot in the door. 

firefighter!abby who comes in on the dot, half-past nine, right before her shift. her build, incredibly toned, clad in black cargos and her seattle fire department t-shirt tucked in. she greets dina with her blinding, pearly white smile. warming her up to the core as dina grabs the assortment that’s ordered every week. yellow roses, white lillies, and peach carnations make their way into the abby’s hands. she thanks dina, with the same somber look in her eyes before she exits with the same bouquet she always does. 

firefighter!abby who is out for the day, cup of coffee in her hand, ellie to her right telling her about the black-haired beauty she met at the local pub. swearing up and down there was a cute friend, supposedly, but it really just sounds like this is her only way in which her friend needs to enlist help from the hunky-blonde for assistance. 

“So, let me get this straight. You met this girl—” 

“Dina.” Abby pauses, blonde eyebrows quirk upwards. “Wait, does she work at a floral shop?” 

“Yes—” Ellie pauses, envy swirling in her emerald eyes immediately, “Fuck, Anderson, do not tell me you’ve fucked her!” 

Abby smirks, wanting to tease her spunky friend. “C’mon, are you fucking serious? No. Shit. Did you really fuck her?” Abby winks as she takes a sip of her black coffee, bicep flexing in the process. 

“Dude. How the hell am I supposed to compete with your greek god  fucking biceps?” Ellie lifts up the sleeve of her shirt, comparing her much smaller arms to Abby’s very toned and thick muscle. Even Abby’s veins are more prominent than hers. 

Abby giggles, “First off, you can’t but you don’t have to…this time. I just buy flowers from there and everyone kinda knows everyone. It’s Jackson.” 

“Oh, thank god. You had me worried there for a second. Jesus.” Ellie nudges her shoulder, picking at her naibeds anxiously. “So, will you come so you can meet her friend?” 

Abby thinks for a moment. How bad could it be? It’s just one night, right? 

firefighter!abby who comes to the flower shop on a saturday this time. the doorbell rings signaling her entrance, but she doesn’t find dina working the counter like she normally does. you’re someone new, someone she hasn’t seen before, someone beautiful. so much so, she feels as if her feet have been glued to the hardwood floors. dear god, she looks like a goddamn idiot. she’s thankful you’re helping someone as abby tries to break from her caulking spell. 

firefighter!abby who takes note of how attentive you are with the customers even if your body fidgets as you help them but then you smile, it makes her melt. anderson, get yourself together, you have a date tonight. it’s just one, incredibly beautiful girl. you’re fine. she’s fine. before her brain can make one more stupid thought, you’re walking up to her. 

You smell of lavender, it coats Abby’s senses as you make a beeline for her. It could be the shop or it could be you. She believes it’s you. 

“Afternoon, is there something I can help you with?” You ask, Abby reads the name tag on your chest and musters up somewhat of a coherent sentence. You start making the arrangement for her, it’s then she notices how familiar it is. 

It isn’t the flowers she typically chooses, the one she orders through the website of the shop, but the craftsmanship is identical. Down to the yellow ribbon to wrap it neatly, keeping the specially made bouquet in place. 

Abby’s blue eyes must light up with wonder because you smile, it's soft as it slips out of you, too quick for you to hide behind the wall you usually keep yourself within. 

“Um, you make all the arrangements here, right?” Anxiously, you dust your hands on the maroon apron tied around your waist. 

“Yeah, I would hope so. It’s my shop.” You’re not boastful about it, or snarky, it’s sweet. As if you’re proud and you should be. 

“Oh, sorry! I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I just, um—” Speak blondie, you’re making a fool of yourself. “ I come here every week and have just never seen you before s’all. It’s nice to match the wonderful shop to the even prettier owner.” 

Abby wonders why she doesn’t ask for your number or even try to. She’s not exactly a stranger to beautiful women. When she knows what she wants, she’s like a dog with a bone. Never has she ever halted, or had someone stop her dead in her tracks without even trying. 

In her mind, she’s finding excuses. It’s the sun’s fault for letting the light hit your eyes perfectly, saturating the color even further. Or the way she obsesses over your curves, or the joy seeming to radiate every time you smile. 

It can’t be any of those little things. 

Abby fishes for the wallet in her jacket pocket, before handing you her card, you finalize the transaction before handing the silver card back to her. Calloused fingertips press against yours, much softer than Abby’s, but it excites the two of you. 

Not that either of you spoke a word of it. 

“You’re girlfriend’s a lucky girl. It’s a thoughtful gesture—” but your eyes build a fright in them, a horror that you can’t take back. “I’m sorry! Oh my god. I didn’t mean to just, fuck, assume you had a girlfriend or that you’re into girls. Jesus, I don’t know what came over me. God.” 

Abby bites down a smirk as you anxiously beat your nail on the countertop as if you ruined the interaction. Impatiently needing this to be over. 

“S’okay, really, you didn’t assume wrong.” Mischievous pools of blue look you up and down, pointed canines kissing her pink lips as they bite at the flesh. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend. Well—” Abby leans over placing her palm against yours, her fingertips linger on your skin, setting it ablaze. Releasing your grip of the bouquet and palming the wrapped flowers in her firm grasp.

“Not yet.” 

lmk what you think! hope you enjoyed it! ♡

[itneverendshere]

Hii i love the bitchy!pogue!reader series and i would love to know how they first hooked up again, like what led them to keep going after their first night together. That's all, thx in a advance if you do it, i love your writing

the way i ran to write this lmao, thank you for the request ❤️ let's just say it wasn't planned at alll....it was fate👀

in spite of myself - drabble

pairing: bitchy!pogue!reader x rafe

you swore the first time was the last.

you were simply… curious. you wanted to figure out just how far you could push his buttons without him taking it out on you.

you got your answer. you went to that party with the sole intent of pissing him off, but you hadn’t planned on ending up in his bed—not that you’d ever complain. but that was it.

you’d gotten your taste, of course you weren't expecting to run into him so...soon.

you’d learned to play along for these little trips into kookland. your cheap dress, bought solely to get you through the gates, hugged you a little too close—but that was the point, wasn’t it? you made a show of adjusting the neckline, scanning the room with that perfected boredom.

the moment you spotted him across the room, you nearly snorted, because of course he was here.

rafe, in all his buttoned-up glory. hair slicked back like he’d asked his barber for the "douchebag deluxe," wearing a shirt that probably cost as much as your entire car. he looked so at ease among his kind, you wanted to pat him on the head and give him a treat.

bingo.

he was pretending not to see you, standing there with some stuffy old kook in khakis so aggressively white they probably had a staff meeting dedicated to their upkeep.

but you could spot it: the clench in his jaw, his fingers twitching around his glass.

honestly, it was too easy. you’d barely taken a few steps in his direction, and his grip tightened like he was trying not to crush the glass just at the sight of you.

aww. you hadn’t come here for him, but the opportunity was irresistible, how could you say no to that face?

you took your time, internally giddy at how his stiff he looked the closer you got. you let out a soft, exaggerated sigh as you finally slid up next to him at the bar, taking your time, letting your eyes glide over his shoulders and back down to those broad, broad arms.

god, look at those arms, you thought.

this idiot must curl yachts for fun. absolutely absurd.

his gaze snapped to you, “what the hell are you doing here?” he gritted out, sending a delightful shiver down your spine.

poor thing, always so snappy.

you brought a hand to your chest, going for maximum innocence.

“who, me?” you blinked, leaning in with a soft, honey-dripping sigh. “just networking with the local elite. isn’t that what i’m supposed to do if i want to ‘rise above my station’?” you savored the horror flashing across his face.

rafe looked personally offended, like you’d just announced you were taking up golf, while you let your eyes drop to the line of his shoulders, lingering just a little too long on his chest before dropping.

slowly, slowly.

his face twisted like he was in pain, and he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, protecting himself from the way you were very clearly undressing him with your eyes.

“cut that shit out,” he ground out, “i know what you’re doing.”

you raised an eyebrow, “doing what?” you shot him a wide-eyed, who, me? look, letting your gaze dip again. “i’m not doing anything.”

his face flushed as he hissed, “you’re doing it right now! act normal for once.”

he pulled away from you as if your pogue germs might rub off on him, but you’d seen that look on his face before.

“honestly, if you didn’t want attention cameron, maybe don’t wear that. kind of a slutty choice, don’t you think?”

his neck flushed deep red as he scowled. “excuse me?”

you shrugged, “just saying. last time, you had a lot to say about my outfit, didn’t you?”

“you’re fucking insane. leave me alone.”

you smirked, leaning closer, “oh, baby, i’ve already got what i wanted from you,” you purred. “unless, of course, you’re offering again?”

his jaw tensed, and he looked away as if even looking at you would ruin his day. but he was still here, wasn’t he?

“don’t flatter yourself. i’m done with you,” he muttered.

you shot him a wicked grin, “flatter myself?” you let out an exaggerated laugh, turning heads nearby. “i’m here on a date.”

rafe’s smirk dropped, and he cast a quick, possessive look around the room before moving his attention back to you.

“a date?” he repeated as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth.

you nodded as you pointed toward the back, where your “date”—some poor kook with a summer tan and daddy’s credit card—stood waiting near the hors d’oeuvres table, oblivious.

“did you think i came here just for you?” you tilted your head, letting the words sting. “i don’t do repeats, country club. got what i wanted, remember?”

he looked like he was about to set the place on fire, blue eyes narrowing as he glared at your so-called date. you could sense the gears turning in his head. god, this was just too easy.

“maybe you should run along, hmm?” you said, your voice light and mocking. “can’t imagine what your country club buddies would think, seeing you all worked up over a pogue.” you flashed him a dazzling smile before tossing a wink, then spun on your heel, leaving him there seething.

you could feel his stare burning into your back as you sashayed over to your “date.” this was way too fun.

lunch was mind-numbing, but free, so you were perfectly okay tolerating the “date”—or, as you preferred to call it, the idiot with a wallet—while he droned on about his family’s fleet of yachts or some bullshit about generational wealth. you nodded along, not listening as he bragged. as if you even gave a fuck.

when he finally paused to shove more overpriced pasta into his mouth, you decided you needed a break from the snooze-fest.

“excuse me, i’ll just pop to the ladies’ room,” you murmured, batting your lashes like the good, sweet little pogue he thought he’d bagged for the afternoon. as soon as you were clear of him, you rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t get stuck.

the second you got into the quiet of the bathroom, you let out a dramatic sigh of relief, shaking your head.

what a fucking bore.

you’d honestly rather be anywhere else—well, except maybe with rafe, since he’d probably drag you back to the ninth circle of pogue-hating hell.

as you were checking your lipstick in the mirror, the door swung open, and you didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

“um, excuse you?” you snapped, eyebrows shooting up. “i know you have a thing for following me around, but the ladies’ room? have you lost your fuckin’ mind?”

rafe didn’t answer.

he stalked forward, looking pissed as he backed you up against the sink, boxing you in without so much as a second thought. there was something about the way his forearms flexed when he did that.

ridiculous, he most likely got pumped up just pouring a glass of water.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing here?” he growled, his voice dripping with disdain.

a laugh bubbled up before you could stop it. oh my god.

you clamped a hand over your mouth, but the sound came anyway, echoing off the fancy-ass tiles. “oh my god, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

he leaned in even closer. “you think this is funny?”

“funny?” you snorted, crossing your arms. “it’s hilarious. i’m here for lunch. you know, food? the stuff people eat? he offered, and i like free shit. it’s that simple.”

“you’re doing this just to piss me off,” he accused.

“oh, get over yourself,” you scoffed. “you think i’m obsessed with you or something? i wasn’t even thinking about you until you came barging in here like a lunatic.” you leaned back, giving him a brazen, challenging look. “can you move, by the way? i was enjoying the break.”

his nostrils flared, but you didn’t even care. if he wanted to lose his shit, fine—he was the one who walked in here. you stared him down, totally unfazed, holding his gaze until he broke it.

“careful,” you added, your voice mocking and low. “if i didn’t know better, i’d say you were jealous. because, i gotta be honest, you look like you’re about two seconds away from—”

“shut up,” he growled, his face inches from yours, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke. “you show up here, flaunting yourself like you don’t remember exactly how last week ended, like you weren’t begging me to—”

“oh please,” you interrupted, ignoring the pleasure that traveled up your spine. “let’s not rewrite history.”

his hand gripped your cheeks, blunt nails pressing in from either side as he pulled you close, capturing your jaw to hold you still. the pressure of the squeeze pulled your pouty lips together, forcing you to look up with wide eyes.

“stop talking."

you tried to smirk around his grip, feeling the bite of his fingers, but your words came out muffled.

“what’s wrong, country club? can’t handle a little conversation?”

“just can’t help yourself, can you?”

you could hardly nod, your eyes gleaming with defiance as you let out a small, mocking hum of agreement.

his hands slid down from your cheeks to cradle your jaw, fingers firm as his mouth pushed against yours. you giggled into the kiss, entirely too pleased with yourself as you tangled your fingers into his hair, pulling until he groaned.

“this is the last time,” his voice was ragged against your lips, but the words sounded half-hearted, he was trying to convince himself.

you smirked, pulling back just enough to catch your breath, tilting your head to test him, see if he’d let you go. instead, his hand was already sliding up your neck, his thumb tracing the line of your lips, holding you right there.

“you think you’re so clever, don’t you?” he whispered, breathless. “think you can just look at me like that, say whatever you want…”

“who says i can’t?” you purred, lips brushing against his as you taunted, “if you don't want this, maybe you should go.”

his grip tightened, a curse slipping past his pretty lips, streaked with the deep red of your lipstick, glossy with both your spit.

and fuck, did he look good like that—disheveled, unguarded, his face painted with your lipstick like a silent confession of just how far he’d let himself go with you despite his fucked morals.

rafe let out a shaky breath, his forehead resting against yours as he muttered, “last time, swear to god.”

[thecouncilacesideblog]

A flying fox lmao (<- is a fox therian)

found a quiz!!

[thecouncilacesideblog]

Plureon art dump

[yuurei20]

Twisted Wonderland Curse Word Compilation: Main Story

⚠️Language Warning!⚠️

Note: these localizations are not literal translations (“くそ” does not literally mean “to damn something,” for example), and are more so examples of what the characters might be saying if they were speaking American English ^^

This post was made in collaboration with the wonderful @irafuwas to whom I am most grateful for the wonderful explanations ♡

#1: くそ (kuso)

An interjection used to express feelings like anger, frustration, disappointment.

Meaning: Dammit/damn it, damn, god damn it, shit, bloody hell, fucking hell, fuck

Ace is the #1 user of this word in the main story, repeating it at least 5 times from the prologue to Book 6.

Jamil repeats it at least four times from Books 4 to 6, Grim at least three times and Deuce at least twice.

Cater,  Epel, Idia, Kalim and General Lilia all use it at least once.

(Note: there seems to be a rumor that Epel uses very dirty language that is being hidden by his dialect, but I did not find this to be the case ^^ I collected all examples of Epel slipping into his natural dialect in the main story and it is mostly just normal words in an accent. He will use casual verb forms with his senpai, which is impolite in a similar way, but he is not using literal curse words.)

#2 ち (tch)

Not so much a word as it is an onomatopoeia, “tch” is still very impolite and is used to express frustration or disdain. It can be considered equivalent to clicking one’s tongue, tsking, or tutting.

Leona is the #1 user of this sound, repeating it at least 30 times from the prologue to Book 7.

General Lilia repeats it at least six times (as of Book 7-4), Jack repeats it at least six times, three times for Floyd, three times for Ace and at least two times each for Azul, Idia and Jamil. It is also used at least one by Cater, Baur, Sebek and an unnamed person in Book 5.

#3 馬鹿 / バカ (baka)

Meaning: Idiot, moron, fool, dumb ass, dummy, stupid

Leona is the #1 user of this word in the main story, repeating it at least 8 times (at least five of which were in a kind of cute way, possibly to make it sound less harsh as it is when he is speaking to Ruggie).

Ace uses this word at least five times (three times to insult Deuce specifically).

Azul uses this word twice, as does Deuce, although one time is just him agreeing with Ace and insulting himself.

Jamil also uses the word twice, as does Lilia (one normal-Lilia, one General-Lilia).

Jack, Jade, Floyd, Epel, Vil, Idia and Sebek also use it at least once each.

#4 野郎 (yarou)

“Yarou” has a literal meaning of “guy” or “dude”, but can be used in a derogatory manner with a meaning of “asshole” or “jackass”.

It can be attached to an otherwise neutral noun to turn it into an insult, which Leona has a penchant for doing, depending on who he is talking about (e.g., snake-yarou for Jamil, octopus-yarou for Azul, etc.).

Leona uses this word a lot, repeating it at least 11 times in the main story.

Unnamed students, Azul, Deuce and soldiers in Book 7 also use it, while General Lilia will sometimes use it to refer to his own men.

#5 ちくしょう (chikushou)

An interjection used to express feelings like anger, frustration, disappointment 

Meaning: Dammit/damn it, damn, god damn it, shit, bloody hell, fucking hell, fuck

Another word used similarly to how “dammit” is used in American English (it is a little harsher than kuso, maybe), Epel uses it at least three times in the main story.

Deuce uses it twice, as do unnamed students at the school, Ace once and General Lilia once (as of 7-4).

#6 間抜け (manuke)

Meaning: fool, moron, blockhead, half-wit, idiot.

This word is used to insult someone for lacking awareness or being absent-minded.

Leona uses it at least twice in the main story, and it is also a part of the string of insults that Jamil delivers to Kalim in Book 4.

#7 アホ (aho)

This is a common insult similar to “idiot” or “stupid,” used at least once by Ace and once by Deuce (in a more slang way) in the main story.

[starcurtain]

Hear me out. I know it's unlikely that Ratio would ever have been foolish enough to directly get taken in by a scam, but considering that we know:

One of the groups specifically tricked by Kakavasha before he joined the IPC was the Intelligentsia Guild

What he tricked them about was Tayzzyronth's Swarm remnants, the exact same thing we see Ratio investigating in his very first appearance in the game, and

The researchers were described as "extremely cautious"

I am surprised that "Ratio was at least somehow connected to the Intelligentsia Guild team fooled by Kakavasha before he was ever even a Stoneheart" isn't more popular with the Ratio and Aventurine fandom.

Like imagine being Dr. Ratio. You tell your colleagues, "This seems like a scam. Are you sure you should trust this 'local guide' you've made contact with? Tell me about him. A picture? Does this even look like an Egyhazan native to you? I won't save you fools from making idiotic decisions." (You end up having to clean up the aftermath of their idiotic decisions anyway. There is sand in places on your body you didn't even know existed before this. How mortifying for the Guild. For you, by association.)

Then, next thing you know, you get a mission briefing slid across your desk from your IPC connections. They want you to work with their new Stoneheart. You open the packet to see... that little bastard with the enthralling eyes who had your moronic colleagues scrambling in the dirt on a backwater planet for months. Apparently he's made a career out of fooling you your supposedly competent guildmates.

You run off to confront him. You never met him personally back then, but you deserve compensation for the idiocy you were subjected to nonetheless. He deserves to know how much of a pain in the ass he's been in your life already without ever having met your eyes--

He proceeds to shove a gun into your hands and tries to make you an accomplice to a suicide. Apparently, this is normal behavior for the man now called Aventurine. Somehow, it's supposed to prove to you that he is a sane and reliable individual.

Absolutely nothing in your life has been normal since Egyhazo.

You would like to have mundane problems, sometimes.

How do you keep ending up in this beautiful manic clever conman's orbit, and why, like binary stars, can you not escape the gravitational pull?

[choas232]

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Part two of Chatty g/n! reader x Steb

Summary:

You’re in love with Steb. Big deal. Your plan? Repression. In which Steb tries to be as obvious as possible and you try to be as oblivious as possible.

No use of Y/N, neutral terms and they/them is used to refer the reader. Set after Jinx’s colour explosion thing (which my friends lovingly refer to as Piltover’s first pride parade.)

CWs: Profanity.

Word count: 3.1k

Part One: G/N Chatty reader x Steb

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

You’re in love with Steb. Big deal. Your plan? Repression.

Denial has aided you in all that it can. For small moments, you allow yourself to believe that you were wrong. There is no admiration to be found, there is no affection, and there is certainly no love. Until he opens a door for you, places a hand over your chair, brushing your shoulder, to peer at your work, offers to grab you a coffee when he sees your eyebags, likely not knowing he is the cause.

You have done everything you can. ‘Feeling your feelings’ and ‘Changing your mindset’ like the self-help book you borrowed from your local library haven’t helped you, to your avail, leading you to the third and final option; running from your problems and ignoring him.

It’s easy enough.

When you first became an Enforcer, you certainly did not know how much paperwork the work included. Propaganda posters scarcely talk of office hours, and healthcare benefits, you find. Now, you thank whatever cruel gods for the blindness of your youth, holing yourself in your office, hunching over sheet after sheet and ignoring the aching of your heart.

You’re such an idiot.

It’s only on day three of this monotonous cycle, hiding from him, working, working, working, that something snaps you out of your routine.

Flowers.

You emerge from your office, stumbling to the coffee machine, when a cleared throat startles you out of your daze.

In his angular, nice— fuck, normal looking hands, a bouquet. Of wildflowers, you think. Colourful and bright, the kind that grow just outside of Piltover. Daisy-like white flowers, long slender stems with bulbous pink shapes hanging from them, dangling purple bells, and neat blue flowers with heart shaped petals.

“Oh. Hey.” You greet, before somewhere in the haze of your mind— something falls. Flowers. Why does he have flowers? Are they a gift? Who for? You open your mouth to voice this— but no. You must not. Avoidance.

But the flowers.

Okay. Casual time. “Those are pretty. Where’d you get them from?” He blinks, clearly unexpected by this train of conversation, maybe by how casual and suave you’re being right now.

You move past him— turning your back on his big, wide surprised eyes, his rolled up sleeves, his angular, large hands wrapped around the brown paper holding the bouquet—okay,that’s enough of that train of thought— and get to work on precuring some wonderful caffeine. Caffeine to help the fog of your treacherous thoughts, leading you down paths you very much do not want to go down.

“You know, there’s a place near my house, in walking distance, that I go past when I go the shops to pick up groceries. Always smells really good. Maybe I should pick some up for my house?” You turn to gauge his non-verbal reaction, but for whatever reason, he looks mightily distressed.

“What’re they for, anyways?” What. Not, who. ‘Who’ implies you were thinking about him giving them to people, and flowers are typically a sign of romance, and that you care who he gives flowers, and that is not on your brain right now. Definitely not.

His expression moves at a pace you can’t match, going from confused, to disappointed, to pained, his gills fluttering, the monochromatic yellowing light of the office lights hitting them, the glint drawing your betraying eyes.

Almost uncertainly, he points to— what for a second— looks like you.

“The office space? It is getting slightly grim in here.” You, too loudly, laugh, semi-startled from the jolt of your heart. God. Imagine that. You. Him giving you flowers. You try not to.

He, very slowly, nods.

“Great. Well than. I’ll. Uhm. Try to leave you to it?” After a too long pause where he simply unreadably stares at you, you turn on your heels and make a break for your office space.

You, like a fool, assume the last of the issue. A vase appears in the communal office-space, filled with flowers.

The next day however, he invites you to lunch.

It’s late afternoon, and you’re in the midst of packing up your office’s clutter when he raps against the door with his knuckles. Through the blinds you purposely have kept closed, you make out his tall, wiry frame, one hand fixing his, of course, already perfect hair. You quickly try to fix your own appearance, hoping a dull dragging of your fingers through your hair will perhaps make you not look like you’ve been hit by a semi-truck.

“Come in!” You call out, trying not to let him hear the betraying shudder of your vocal cords, dull from misuse. You need to call a friend or something. Talk about anything at all, at least for a couple hours. You feel like you’re going crazy.

He gently pushes the door open, surveying your small, cluttered room. His nose disapprovingly wrinkles at the mess, but he says, or implies, nothing. A small kindness. What are you to say? Sorry boss, I’ve been stuck up on getting over the massive, fat crush I have on you, and your hands, and how gently you cradled my head in the pipe in the ground, and how your finger brushed my lip and how I felt something crawl out of where I had shoved it down.

God, this love is eating you from the inside.

He looks better than usual, a fact you scold yourself from noticing. His shirt is neatly ironed, the sleeves rolled up as if to taunt you. The tightness of his office clothes compared to the bulky, bullet proof frame of his enforcer uniform makes you, for a brief, blinding moment, miss it deeply. Though, you doubt it would make much of a difference. You’re too down bad, a phrase you now understand.

His black tie is perfectly straightened, though he moves to straighten it again as he braces for whatever he is to say, and with surprise, you note the bobbing of his throat as he moves to verbally speak. “Would you like a break from your work? Perhaps get something to eat?” There’s a forced casualness to his tone, adding a clunky layer of misshapenness to his tenor; you have only ever heard him speak in sparse, important moments, yet he tries to be relaxed now.

“…Sure.” Him speaking has thrown you off. Not only is his voice remarkably attractive, it also signifies something you feel you’re missing. You can’t just ask him why he’s speaking though. That would be rude. (You did threaten to eat him last week, in your stint in the underground after you ran out of food, and than thought nothing of it. Your brain is outstandingly good at finding the worst moments to cram you full of social anxiety.)

You can’t deny this offer. You skipped lunch, for starters, or at least, that’s the excuse you tell yourself, when in reality, your heart, from deep within it’s place in your chest, reaches up to puppet the strings of your vocal cords. “Uhm, there’s this really good place close-ish to here? A noodle bar. It’s cheap, relatively good for you, I think, but you know how it is. You never know. I went there last week with Miranda, and they had this really good item on the menu… she ordered it and I ended up probably eating more than her… haha.” You make the noise nervously, more of a phonetic mimicry than a laugh.

He nods, politely.

“Is anyone else going?”

Slowly, he shakes his head, waiting as if to gauge your reaction.

Well. That’s off. Usually Maddie would tag along, or another coworker. One to one… perhaps she’s just occupied? Ever since your stint in the underground ended in disaster, captain Kiramman has been seeing her fairly frequently, or she’s been caught up in other business. (Fuck. You miss the underground. You’d never thought you say it, but you miss Vi, and her terrible Zaunite food, and you miss Loris’s calm, and you miss Maddie and you miss Kiramman, even when she had a stick up her arse about finding the blue-haired Zaunite girl. You haven’t seen Loris since then, and Lord knows where Vi is.)

“Cool. Well. Off we hop, then? Let me just clean this up…” You move to clean, turning so he doesn’t see your flushed cheeks. Cool? Off we hop? OFF WE HOP? Genuinely, what is wrong with you?

He doesn’t care about your verbal failure, nodding again, his hands instinctively resting clasped behind him, shoulders straight.

Picture perfect even as you fall apart.

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

You’ve missed your chats, as it turns out. Well. Is it really chats if only one of you is doing the talking? You think so, because the kind of awareness, care in his eyes, the way he almost hangs off every word, has you stumbling over your tall tales and stories.

The look in his eyes, half-lidded, is worse, devastating to your poor heart. Very rarely do people listen to you, you think, even when you were a sullen, quiet child. That’s fine. They catch every second word, the gist of it, and if you speak thrice as much, they’ll get thrice as much of the little they catch, right?

But he listens, to all of it, for better or for worse.

For worse, you think. Your heart is beating out of your chest. It’s hot in the outside area you’ve chosen to sit at, an ornate bench half cooled by shade on a narrow porch area, decorated with sweet-smelling flowers. The heat is insufferable, in Piltover. The high houses trap it, and it is suffocating, or maybe it just feels that way because every so often he moves to keep his sleeves rolled up, brush strands of hair falling back into his face.

He’s slightly hunched over, across from you, so much so you’re almost eye-level. It’s a very calculated move, from his usual perfect posture. He doesn’t fidget. Just listens. When it comes to ordering, he points to the dish that he wants— inwardly, you wonder about the schematics of him, almost mermaid eating a fish— and order for the both of you, including some water.

“It was nice of you to buy flowers for the office. Everybody’s been on edge recently, with Kiramman’s new job, and the attack, and all that trouble down in the undercity.” You tell him, when it becomes apparent there’s only so much of dodging the topic you can do.

He hums. You swear his eyebrows furrow, just for a second, as he looks away.

“Ah. Sorry to bring it up. Politics and all that can wait, huh?” You heard he was injured at the attack, and misinterpreting his source of discomfort, you change the topic, but in the dizzy mix, stumble into perhaps the worst topic your brain can hurriedly think off. “Soooo…. Our time in the underground, huh?”

He blinks, looking up, and than nods.

“How was it? For you?”

Tugging a notepad out of his pocket, this calms you, the normalcy of it, he writes, quickly, in messily stencilled letters. You threatened to eat me.

“Ah.” Dammit. “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t remember that.” You awkwardly push out, but he’s writing more.

You almost got yourself killed, than us killed, and lost our supplies.

“Ah. Sorry?” Double dammit. Guilt begins to prickle low in your gut. You did do that.

You also saved us.

He smiles. It’s terrible, the smile, one like you’re in on something together. You do not understand it. He smiles, and it is terrible. He smiles, and you are suddenly co-conspirators, privy to something you are blind to.

Your food comes, and you eat silently, trying not to think about the smile.

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

There’s only so much silence you can pry out of shoving noodles in your mouth before your patience snaps.

The food is delicious, creamy, brothy, the herbs tangy and fragrant, but even that doesn’t stop how suddenly hyperaware you are of how small this table is, how mindful he has to be not to knock his long legs against yours.

Just as you think you’re finally free from it, the suffocating stillness, The waitstaff moves to clean your bowls up. You smile and thank them. They smile at you too, a knowing smile, a smile like they’re in on it. “Enjoy your date.” They say to you both. Steb nods to them as they move back indoors, balancing the bowls in their arms.

Date. Wait.

You feel as if you may be missing something.

Steb doesn’t say anything, which seems like a no-brainer, except now he’s watching you, eyebrows slightly furrowed, pouty lips pressed against one another. Waiting. Waiting for what? You to make a joke, haha, we’re not on a date. How silly, right? You tosay nothing, move on?You to ask about it? Are we on a date? Surely not?

Your options are dwindling as each second ticks by, slowly your gaping mouth and shocked look slowly becoming less and less socially acceptable.

Quick. Think fast.

“So, uhm, how was the food?”

You get the feeling you shouldn’t have said that.

He nods his head non-committedly, reaching up to rest his chin in the palm on his hand. You’re not really sure what to make of the action, except now you can see his forearms, and it’s making you feel a little crazy. “Mine was uhm… good.” You stutter. He nods, something warring in his mind, before he reaches to pick up the neat little notebook, hastily scribbling something down.

You clutch the little scrap of paper he rips out to hand to you. You have a collection of them, in the drawer of your office, reminders and praises and greetings, mundane and simple yet delightful for you. You think you would die if he ever found out, and even though your mission of repression is a strong one, you don’t have the heart to throw them out. (It’s not lovey-dovey. It’s just practical. What if he says something important and you miss it?)

The message, this time, isn’t delightful.

I’m sorry if I am making you feel uncomfortable.

“No? What do you mean?”

I didn’t know whether you understood the flowers were for you or you were implying you were uncomfortable with receiving them. If so, I’m sorry I pressured you to come out with me.

“Sorry? What?” He gives you a moment to rub your brain cells together, rereading the note, looking up at him, and than looking back down.

“The flowers were for me?”

He nods.

Calm down. Flowers don’t need to be romantic. He probably just noticed you were acting stressed and got them to calm you down! This isn’t special! “Uhm. Thank you. Sorry for… you know.”

He blinks, once. He blinks again. He ears jerk, up, than down, his lips falling open to reveal a narrow slit of flesh, his front teeth. It’s not quite a pained grimace, he’s far too reserved in his actions for that, but you think it’s the closest you’ll get.

He moves forward suddenly, grappling for the notepad, and you flinch at the sudden movement.

This is what I mean. I can never tell what you’re thinking. Just say the words, and I’ll cool any and all advances on you at once. He has underlined at once, several times.

He must think of you illiterate with the amount of time you spend rereading the words. Advances is a word that implies… but surely not? Maybe he’s worried about being pushy. But you like it when he’s pushy, berating you for your recklessness, your injuries, his careful orders when you find yourself stationed under him, how much he cares. That sounded a little too down-bad, but you like it when people are clear with you! Yeah. Why are you thinking about that, right now? You should stop. You should reply.

This conversation would probably be easier if you weren’t constantly at war with yourself.

“Oh. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, ahaha…”

He looks vaguely annoyed, now for a brief flash, his ears sliding down, before he quickly pushes the expression down. His ears do not follow.

I am trying to court you. He writes, a hand stressedly messing through his neatly slicked back hair.

Words escape you.

“What?” You say, dumbly.

“I am trying to… romance you.” He says, out loud, and now he well and truly must think you can’t read. You hate to make him think of you deaf too, because the pained look he expresses as he hastily scribbles down, Please don’t make me repeat that, is perhaps the only think keeping you from short circuiting.

“Oh.” You say, instead. “Uhm… thank you.”

Fuck. “I mean. Not thank you. Yay?” You hope, very deeply, the waitstaff comes back and smashes your head in with the noodle bowls.

His expression is less agonized, but only just. Yay? He writes. Is that good?

“Yeah.” Oh God. Why can’t you speak? Why can’t you think of something to say? Aren’t love confessions supposed to be easy, ish, once you’ve gotten past the confession bit? Isn’t this the part where you start making out or something? That was a terrible train of thought to go down, because now you’re thinking about making out with Steb, and it’s just—

“I uhm. Like you too. Were the flowers, like, to… confess to me?” Why would you say that? That was not suave. Thatwas not cool. You probably shouldn’t have said anything.

Yes. Steb writes.

“Woah.” He relaxes, maybe only because you’re so hard to take seriously it’s hard not to. His hair is still slightly messed up from how he had been gripping it, a fact you would have probably taken pride in, any other trouble-making day, but not this one. “I— sorry. I’m processing this information. Very slowly.”

He hums. Take your time. You get the feeling he is teasing you, and you get the feeling you might be smiling, a fact which is mortifying, and means you probably are smiling, giddily, like a fool. You’re smiling, and you’re not saying anything. You’re smiling, and you’re silent. In comparison, he’s been more talkative in the last three days than he is in perhaps a month.

You soak it in.

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Notes:

Maybe it really is Piltover’s first pride parade…

People who asked to be tagged in part two (tell me if you’re uncomfortable with this and I will apologise profusely and remove you) ; @nixxie15 @flooftoof @mintballoons thank you for the kind comments!!

[angel-of-the-moons]

A Benevolent Hand

Khonshu x Fem!Moon Knight!Reader

TW/CW: NSFW, Smut, masturbation (Fem), fingering, dirty talking, degradation(?), Khonshu wants to actually fuck you but won't admit it because he's a prideful shithead

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: did I stay up until ten last 4am to spit this shit out? Enjoy whatever horny poetry my sleep deprived brain supplies you. Be free, my horny little doves *yeets y'all into a field*

Also idk why but this gif does things to me

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

It was a dull, dead night. There were no evildoers to stop, no killers to send to the sands of the Duat.

Even Badr told you to go home and rest, you deserved it after your diligent work and devotion to your god.

But, of course... "settling in" for the night wasn't something you know how to do anymore.

You've been Moon Knight for so long you weren't even sure what normal people did during quiet nights at home, anymore.

You ate, showered, exercised in the cramped space of your seedy apartment, before sitting on the couch to idly flip through channels, clicking your tongue and reminding yourself to sign up for some streaming services or pirate some stuff at the local library.

You were so bored you settled on an old corny horror film from the 80s, R-Rated and strangely enough, uncensored. But then again, adult channels were still a thing apparently, so you settled in for some cheap blood and guts, stupid busty camp counselors and a masked killer.

But of course, the sex scenes were there, as well. It didn't show anything like porn would, but the actors did a good job of "having" sex beneath the covers, their bodies flushed and sweaty as they went at it like rabbits, panting and saying things to each other in shared breaths.

They were gonna die, that's how these things went. You have sex in a horror movie, you die. The psychos from Scream got that part right about the ole cliché.

But... The way they acted with each other, playing out the part of a couple very much in love and very horny had you... bothered.

You craved that kind of intimacy. Sure, you can go out and find someone to hook up with, have a forgettable one night stand with some idiot at a bar... but it didn't have the physical closeness that was acted out on the cheap flat screen in front of you.

Being a Fist of Khonshu was often lonely life. You couldn't engage in the seeming frivolity of a relationship that was seen every day you walked down the street. No bed warmed by another body, no good morning kisses, no... love?

You shoved those melancholy feelings aside for now, deciding to focus on the throbbing heat blossoming between your legs.

You bit your lip and slid your hand down your front, slipping it beneath the waistband of your pajamas and beneath your underwear, touching the slick wetness that began to coat and soak through the fabric covering you as the movie droned on.

Your fingers slowly started circling your clit as you breathed out a hot puff of air, eyes closing momentarily as you imagined it.

You, with a man who was head over heels with you, tangled up in the sheets.

Sweaty, groping hands pawing at slick skin, tongues dancing as you kissed like you were all the two of you needed to breathe--

Your fingers began to increase their movements, gathering your sweet juices on your fingers to lubricate your clit as you circled with more need.

You dropped your head onto the back of your couch with a pathetic groan, eyes closing as you let the mental image take a better shape, using the sounds from the TV to help mold the scene for you and your faceless, imaginary lover.

You grunted and kicked off your bottoms and underwear, discarding them on the floor as you spread your legs, one foot resting on the cushion to allow better access as your other hand groped at your breast over the fabric of your threadbare tank top.

"Fuck." You cursed aloud to yourself, falling back into your fantasy as your fingers played with your wet, puffed folds.

Your lover would slowly slink down your body, his lips and tongue pressing on your skin until his mouth reached your hip bones.

He would kiss your clit before licking up your slit, his tongue teasing your entrance, tracing it before he wrapped his lips around the bundle of nerves at the top.

You let out a heady moan, your toes curling as you held back the urge to plunge your fingers inside of you; for now settling on focusing your attention on your twitching clit.

You roll your hips in time with your hand, sliding your hand beneath your top to squeeze your breasts and roll your nipple between your fingertips.

Your lover would lick, kiss, nip, and tease you. He would rut his nose against your clit as his tongue--

Your mental fantasy bubble popped when you felt a very large, very warm, and very real hand slide down your torso, leaving a blazing trail beneath your skin in its wake.

"I sometimes forget how often mortals have these urges." The deep, raspy voice that the hand belonged to sighed out, his tone dripping with... disappointment? Boredom?

You snatch your hand away from your core and instinctively try to close your legs, to conceal your shame as the ancient being crowded around you, the dry smell of sand and spices assaulting your nose as his heat threatened to overwhelm you as he leaned over the back of the couch.

"K-Khonshu--!" You sputter, almost gawking as his bare hand slides to replace yours, his large, thick fingers spreading your lips and gathering your wetness on his digits.

"A rather needy thing, aren't you?" His voice murmured, almost a humored huff coming from him as his thumb circled your clit, sending bolts of pleasure jolt up your spine.

You bite your lip to stifle the whimper that wanted to come out; shame blending in an intoxicating cocktail as your very ethereal and otherworldly benefactor began to pick up where you left off.

"You were being so loud a moment ago." He chastised, his fingers moving very quickly over your clit, his mind focused on how the little nub was swollen and twitched beneath his grasp.

"Don't bother concealing it from me, now, you needy little thing. You're like a cat in heat, right now." You could feel his voice rumble through your, your bones trembling and the deep baritone vibrating your clit as your hand gripped weakly at his forearm.

Your stubborn pride told you not to, not to give in, that this was probably one of the most shameful things a god could catch their follower doing, but...

Most gods wouldn't participate, now would they? Surely, they would chastise you, or walk away and leave you alone to tend to yourself.

When you didn't comply, he grunted and pulled his hand away, your dripping cunt lamenting the loss of his warm touch; hips chasing him for more.

The characters in the movie long moved past the intense love-making between the protagonists. One of them screamed as they found the dead body of one of their friends.

"Disobedient little runt. I will not give you what you want so easily, especially not if you defy me."

The threat was cold, and... oh, fuck it.

"I--I'm sorry." You whimpered, your head dropping back once more, this time hitting the stiff bicep of his other arm he used to brace himself on the couch.

"Good girl." He purred, his hand once more resuming his cruel, blissful torture.

You hiccuped and moaned, rolling your hips once more, this time into the touch of another as heat bloomed low in your belly; molten lava creeping through your veins like thick molasses.

Your chest heaved as his other arm curled around you, his hand taking the soft weight of your breast into his palm, kneading the mound of flesh and pulling your nipple in perfect synchronicity with his other.

"Oh, ffuuuh--" You panted, your body caged from behind as the ancient deity whose age was beyond counting helped you rub one out on your dingey, shitty couch in the dead of night.

You felt your womb throb, wanting desperately to have something inside--

"Poor thing." Khonshu tsk'd. "Could you not find someone--something--to satisfy you? Here you are, rutting against my hand like it is all you know how to do. Pathetic."

You moaned louder this time, arching your back at the words he spat at you. You weren't one for this kind of dirty talk... but having it come from him had your head spinning like you had just gotten off of the tilt-a-whirl on Coney Island--but in a sinfully delicious way.

"Perhaps I should have left you alone. You seemed quite consumed by your little fantasy." He mused, his thumb pressing so hard against your clit that it had you seeing stars behind your eyelids.

"What were you imagining, little dove?" He rasped lowly, the dry, smooth side of his beak sweeping against you, feeling almost cool to your blazing cheek as you leaned into it.

"A nobody? Playing house with you? Laying you down in bed and devouring you like a banquet, perhaps?"

Oh, little did he know how close to the truth he actually was.

Or maybe he did know, and was using it to merely drive you over that mind-numbing precipice you wanted so desperately to fling yourself off of?

You could never tell with him, not when he was playing his mind games.

"I... Uh--ah--" You whine.

Khonshu's fingers pull up enough to slap your clit, the sudden feeling making your body jerk against him as the sound of your went cunt was heard even over the volume of your forgotten movie.

"I am reciting rhetoric. I will talk, and you will listen." He growls, his hand sliding down, his palm grinding against your clit as his fingers toy with your fluttering entrance.

Oh, you were so close, so fucking close. If he would just--

"I don't understand how mortals can function when urges like these are so strong." He sighed boredly, as if he wasn't currently fucking you with his hand, teasing your needy hole but not giving what you were truly craving...

"You are destined for more than a pathetic little house with a yard and a garden. You were meant to carry out my will."

That irked you, deep down. Yes, you knew attaining that very thing was highly unlikely for you, but he didn't have to insult you for fantasizing about being normal.

"F-fuck you." You managed to spit out, eyes crossing as they rolled back into your skull, your voice lacking the conviction and venom you wanted it to.

"You seem to be doing just that, my dear." He tipped his head to the side in a jerking motion.

He gave you not a moment to ponder his words as he hooked a thick finger inside of you, curving upwards and pressing hard against that textured spot inside your spongy walls, making you cry out and lift your hips off of the couch

"...In a manner of speaking." He sighed, pumping his finger in and out, paying extra attention to that oh so delicious spot within you, mapping out your very insides with methodical precision, quickly finding the method to get the best reactions out of you as your walls clenched down around him.

"Look at you, so desperate that you are letting me do this to you." Khonshu mocked softly, a chuckle coming from him as his fingers plucked your nipple and his palm ground hard onto your clit.

"Do you like this? Your god giving you such special attention?"

You keened, panting hard as your orgasm began to swell, each pulsing wave battering down the shores of pride and resolve you had struggled to build over the years of serving out the will of this... god.

"Ah... You are close, are you not?" He teased you, "Let's see..."

He managed to slip another finger inside of you, a groan actually rumbling out of him. You never thought you'd heard a sound like that from him.

But then again, you never expected him to finger-fuck you in your own couch before, either.

"You're tight, little bird." He growled, his voice strained as he scissored his fingers in and out of you, shoving you forcefully to the edge of the shores of your oblivion.

"When was the last time you bedded anyone other than your own hand? Months? Years?" He huffed, pumping them in and out of you rapidly, now.

You were so close you could feel the waters of sybaritism that you could taste the very petals of a lotus on the tip of your tongue.

"No wonder you have been so testy as of late."

Almost.

So close.

Just a bit more!

He leaned over, holding you to him almost like a child clutching a beloved toy; only it was far from something so innocent as you ride his hand like your life depended on it.

Your mouth open, your tongue just barely peaking over your bottom lip as you finally dove into the warm waters, silently waiting for the petals of a lotus to fall onto the wet, writhing muscle; drowning in each drop as your orgasm dragged you out to tide, drowning you as your god dabbled with your most intimate parts in such hedonistic fashion.

You were so lost in your post-coital haze that you didn't even register his hand leaving you until his body retracted; leaving you bereft of his warmth.

You turned your head in time, your eyes bleary, blood-shot and faraway as you watched him turn, toying with the sticky wetness coating his skin.

"Don't fall into this trap again, little dove." The god of the moon tells you over his shoulder, before disappearing in a cloud of mist.

But most certainly not before you had taken notice of the prominent bulge beneath his bandages and robes...

[shugarbunni]

kitty!reader x professor!james pt.2 ...enjoy :p

"hang on hang on- you've been sleeping with potter? as in the professor ive been rightfully pining over? you bitch!" barty squawks, hands flailing around as you all take your seats at a booth in a dark corner of the pub.

no one wanted to get sloshed tonight, so you all decided on getting..relatively pissed at the local pub. ('all' referring to the best group of people anyone will ever meet. you, of course, barty, evan, regulus, dorcas, marlene and the ever lovely pandora!)

"you have a boyfriend, barty." Marlene snorts, smirking at the eye roll Evan gives.

"shurrup, im allowed to have crushes-" barty starts, only to be cut off by you.

"that isn't the point!" you huff, plucking reggie's cigarette from his lips and taking a drag, leaning against him "point is i do not want to end things with him, not anytime soon." you trail off, before lifting your gaze to barty "and he's more than good sex, you bellend." you scoff, pointing at him "hes like, really sweet. and funny. if you overlook the fact that he's...painfully millennial, sometimes."

"what did you two even talk about?" pandora asks, trying her very best to hide her judgement with the situation, bless her heart.

"y'know..normal shit! couple shit!" you struggle, taking an anxious puff of smoke.

"couple shit?" regulus parrots flatly, a questioning quirk to his brow.

"yes, regulus, couple shit. y'know..getting to know each other." you sigh, sinking into the booth.

"okay, so like what? give us an example, kitty cat" evan chuckles, wrapping his arm around barty

"ooo, do y'know his favourite colour?" dorcas giggles, cheek resting on marlenes shoulder.

"you lot are such idiots." you grumble, taking a sip of your bloody mary "...and its red."

"im not going in a bloody nightclub, sirius" james groans as his best friend drags him along the street.

"come on, prongs!" sirius huffs, about to go on a rant about how they never have 'fun' anymore, when remus interjects.

"how about we go to the pub? act our age, for once?" he huffs, giving sirius a pointed look and pries him off of james, running a hand through his husbands salt and pepper hair.

"alright." he grumbles, rolling his eyes at lily when she laughs at his sulking.

the group strides across the street, remus' arm slung casually over sirius' shoulder. petes been quiet, checking his phone every ten minutes - no doubt texting Emma. like a bastard teenager, he is.

james stays quiet too as they all chatter, his brows creased in distracted thought whilst he follows along into the pub.

he only snaps out of his daze when sirius heckles him from the bar, "James! what ya wanting, mate?"

"just a pint, pads" he says, forcing out a smile as he slumps in the booth, followed by the others whilst sirius gets everyones drinks ordered.

"cheer up, would you?" lily sighs softly, leaning her elbows against the table "we're meant to be taking your mind off of her, James."

"i am cheered." james mutters, giving her a sarcastic smile, earning a swat on the arm.

sirius scurries back to the table, setting everyones drinks down. hes always had a strange talent for carrying a bunch of glasses at once - must've been all the dorm parties back when they were students.

"right! cheers everyone" he exclaims dramatically, getting the group to clink their beers together "heres to healthy relat-"

"right!" a barman's voice interrupts, echoing through the pub "karaoke machines on, you lot. have at it."

most of the pub-goers (absolutely mortal middle aged men) dont seem to care all that much, but two groups seem to get elated at this news.

sirius gasps, immediately up and tugging on a begrudged peters arm (they've been karaoke partners since they were 17, believe it or not) "come on, wormy! we have to do starman!"

"sirius, mate-"

its then, that come on Eileen blasts through the pubs old speakers.

sirius shuts up - for once.

and james? well, james looks like hes seen an angel, to put it lightly.

there you are, giggling through the lyrics with Barty whilst you pathetically attempt the famous living room routine.

your whole group are creased watching, evan's filming of course. the people in the club clap along, energy up.

"come on, come on!" you wave over the others, the whole group crowding over the dingy microphone as you drunkenly shout the lyrics.

its when the song ends and your group stumbles away, clinging onto each other through bouts of laughter that you spot him. well, really you spot lily first. but then the others came into view. they all look anxious, sirius trying to tug james out of his seat. he doesn't budge.

oh christ, this is gunna be a long night, isn't it?

this feels so messy but like..ive had this idea for ages and i wanna get it out there. let me know your opinions! more parts to come<3

[sgiandubh]

The trouble with Stravaigin'

This pic is currently making the rounds on Tumblr and X, and for all the good reasons (thank you @mariaae, for bringing it here):

After a rather busy week and an even busier week-end, it's certainly nice to check in for this 👆.

Funny how the dunces across the street dub this a 'wrap party combo' of sorts. Oh, come on, are you that stupid, people?

Jamie Roy's OG post is absolutely clear with this regard:

'Thank you @thevinepr for having us at @stravaigin_g12's 30th Birthday.' An event that is directly linked to this very recent Stravaigin's announcement, that has to do exclusively with S's spirits' business:

'In an announcement that will delight the legions of whisky lovers who have been demanding its addition to Stravaigin’s renowned drinks menu, The Sassenach @sassenachspirits by @samheughan is today confirmed as joining the bar’s Scotch whisky offering as a permanent fixture 🥃. (...)

Stravaigin's Olivia Wong - Scotland's Bar Manager of the Year says: “We are thrilled to welcome The Sassenach to Stravaigin. We are all big fans of Sam and his Scotch whisky here at Stravaigin and know excitement levels will be running high with our patrons, as we announce it is becoming a permanent addition to our drinks menu.'

Note to self: this is something Marple 'forgot' to post about, despite her all-consuming obsession for S. Without this information, the rest was presented as just another heavy drinking sesh. Tss, shame on you, madam! Is this where you're at? Lying to your readers, in an attempt to demonstrate: a) S is a highly-functioning alcoholic (by your reasoning, half of the UK might be, ROFLMAO) and b) Ashley Hearn is a lazy, entitled idiot, who spends her time in bars chatting and drinking with her buddies?

Lying by omission is either a mortal sin (when made with the purpose of hurting someone's reputation) or a venial one (when 'in jest', like the Screeching Banshees pretend to do). But I have no idea if that woman is a Catholic, nor do I care. Either way, it's unsavory as fuck. So long for playing it Switzerland, in here.

All of the above to emphatically (LOL for ages) say that this event has nothing to do with Outlander. This has everything to do with Sam Roland Heughan and his own, local business network. This is exactly why Jamie Roy was thanking the organizing PR firm (more on this, a bit later in this post).There were zero reasons for C to be there that night, something that has been confirmed by fans on X:

Interesting: 'took a picture with them'. In the context, people were wondering if there were pics with the Two of Them, not the rest of the cast. But hey, didn't you know? THEY CAN'T STAND EACHOTHER, NEVER COULD!

And there we go, we have the arrival video (why does it always have to be Brazilian fans directly or indirectly involved? that is a mystery on par with who killed JFK, LOL):

And here we have it, courtesy of @maripimpao, the OG X poster (https://x.com/Mari_pimpao/status/1850588095046971487?t=p3_lv013WuINhA085ayr4A&s=19).

... S arriving separately, as predictible, probably on his own (fucking Tumblr doesn't let me upload more than one video, but you'll find everything on the X page above), then C and Skeleton (God, that girl must KNOW stuff!) together - not surprised at all, either:

A normal convo ensues, C stating that she feels 'both happy and sad' because Friday was their last day ever on set. I was very surprised by her genuine warmth, to be honest, as I wasn't expecting it, but it is in line with public lore on her being spotted before by fans.

A word on The Vine PR company. This is one of the biggest PR firms in Scotland and even the UK, with a very nice portfolio of clients, partners and events they manage on the regular:

Oh...

And re-oh...

So, there should come as no surprise to find, among The Vine's clients (for whom it managed flagship events), two of LVMH's portfolio companies/brands: Moët & Chandon and Glenmorangie. I also remember being ridiculed, as writing fanfic, by both Marple and her minions. Well, eat crow now, I have been announcing it for a year, already, for both of them. Not once, but three times in a row.

One...

Two...

Third time's a charm/Jamais deux sans trois:

Business-wise, this is about the amount of time it takes to make things of this amplitude happen. Wait, I forgot that business was bound to flounder, sweet Baby Jesus on a motorbike!

On top of it all, I have some very inconvenient, yet rhetorical questions (for the people across the street, a rhetorical question is supposed to make a point, not wait for an answer):

What about McTavish's spirits business? Still in promo mode, bought medals, and all the tralala? Hmmm.

What about Tony McGill? Why isn't he seen at any event at all, in the music business or otherwise, like ever? Isn't he supposed to manage (Media Manager, my 🦶) a Scottish band? Where was he, on Friday night? How does he even do business? Hmmm.

Oh, FFS.