#lms if you read

[strebcr]

Anyways I updated my rules! Please give them a read and like this post 👍

[strebcrarchivess]

Due to the situation I updated my rules

[diamondnokouzai]

mental health blogging under the cut (but im not like, suicidal or anything, just pondering)

ive been feeling more and more dissociated (<- how the fuck you spell that) lately in like, the split personality sense. and ive kind of identified a few specific 'aspects' of myself that are like, very separated in my head, but im not sure if thats because im psychotic or not. idk if psychosis & did can even overlap (or if i even HAVE any sort of DID related mental health issue) but its kind of upsetting when i cant understand why my thought patterns & behaviors are so different somtimes

[marzipaint]

an enjolras because i miss him

[realbeefman]

the fact that like minds chooses to linger on fred and rosemary west when giving examples of psychopaths caught up in gestalt relationships is the absolute craziest way to foreshadow nigel and alex's whole. waves my limp wrist in their general direction. literally comparing them to a married couple. okay

[iilmunchkiin]

Just saw an absolutely amazing post that convinced me that Ceroba would be the one who confesses first.

(op turned turned off reblogs unfortunately so I'm making this post (┬┬﹏┬┬)) ("Just put the link to the post here-" No, you absolute buffoon, they turned it off for a reason and I'm going to respect that) (also potential rambling?? again??) (future LM here, yep there is alot of rambling. this was supposed to be a character analysis but I accidentally made a fic halfway LMAOAOAOAOAOA )

god I'm a sucker for slow burn and angst (duh, you all know that) I used to think that Starlo wouldn't be able to take it anymore and finally get the balls to confess to her, he goes up to her and it'll be the usual cheesy but wholesome moment with him nervously laughing, Ceroba getting surprised so she turns away while brushing off some hair that got on her face, Starlo sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and stuttering to get the words out. It'll all be planned of course he's a gentleman, he's just so stupidly nice and understanding that if Ceroba just flat out tells him "I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" I just know he's going to smile and tell her it's okay and he'd still be there for her and it won't affect their friendship at all and he's going to stay by her side de jashdkahsd sorry the brainworms are doing the thing again.

Of course the idea of Ceroba confessing first also came into my mind, her realizing she's in love with Starlo but now has to fight the guilt thinking that she's "betraying/cheating on Chujin" made the little angsty gremlin in me giggle but I just preferred it would be Starlo who breaks the ice just for shittles and giggles (I like seeing him get all blushy and shy HIHIHIHIH). Also adding the fact that Ceroba DID consider getting together with him but she brushes it off cuz she thinks he's still too immature. (Yes I am aware Ceroba acknowledges Starlo growing up in True Pacifist but I didn't give it that much thought I was in delulu land)

But then I saw the post and ho h my god oh my goddddddd.....

I was a fool

Starlo is aware of what Ceroba has gone through and as her childhood best friend he would respect her and not risk overwhelming her with a confession cuz OF COURSE HE WOULDNT, and if he DID consider confessing it would be YEARS after the whole "Clover-sacrificing-themselves-for-the-futue-of-monsterkind" ordeal but he would have probably fallen out of love at this point and it would go

⭐: "OH YEAH btw I had a crush on you when we were kids" 🦊: "HUH"

(not dismissing the chance he could still be in love with her despite that I mean he's dedicated and loyal and so damn devoted to her it makes sense, it was just had a funny thought giggles)

But then after reading the post, it reopened the idea of Ceroba confessing first and... oh my god it was glorious. It would start small, thinking he looked nice one day, subconsciously gazing at him and adoring him at the distance as he talks his usual nonsense at the saloon with the feisty 5, wanting to hang out with him a little more than usual, until it slowly builds up over time. She starts noticing the little things about him, his wide smile, the sound of his voice and the laughter he makes when he does his usual shenanigans with her in post-pacifist where things are starting to get brighter as they heal together, she would call him an idiot but god he would just smile at her again and the little dimples on the sides of his face would make her melt without knowing and she swears she felt her face get warm but brushes it off, thinking it's nothing. But that's where the snowball keeps getting bigger, she would see him talking to the folk again at the saloon and wish it was her he was laughing with, she'll quickly snap out of it, shake her head a little and think about how weird it was for her to have thought about that. She'd find herself beaming when he calls her name and feel so stupid for doing so, "Why am I so happy all of a sudden? He says my name all the time..."

And the snowball finally crashes when they have one of those talks, y'know the ones where you usually have at 3 am with your friends? Just talking about life in general, talking about the future, what are each of them scared of, what they feel and what they think about things, just being so vulnerable and open with each other. They've had their fair share of these talks but today was different. He looked absolutely stunning, despite being mentally exhausted he still looked divine, the way his eyes droop when his expression softens, the slow rise and fall of his chest when he sighs, his wide glistening smile turning into a small and soft curl on his lips. She can't help herself but make subtle touches and discreetly brush her shoulder against his as they lean towards the railings of the balcony, fighting the urge to just reach out and figure out small ways to make contact with him. She gazes at him the entire time, analyzing him, noticing all the little changes he makes, why can't she look away? She can't, she tried, so many times but it still ends up with her looking at him again trying to burn the image of him in her mind, wanting to leave it there forever. When the talk comes to a close, he turns to her and offers a hug, she accepts it and the moment he melts into her arms, she feels a sudden warmth on her chest and it instantly scatters around her entire body, enveloping her. They share each other's warmth, she slowly buries her face onto his shoulder, cherishing this small moment with him as they hold each other tight in each other's embrace. She's closing her eyes, inhaling his scent, it feels like she's in a dream, she doesn't want this moment to end, she doesn't wanna wake up just yet but.... They break a part, he gives her his goodbyes. As she goes home she lays in bed, face up, staring at the ceiling as she recalls everything that happened to her, putting pieces of the puzzle together as she finally comes to terms with herself and gets hit with the realization. It all comes crashing down to her, her eyes widen and she lets out an audible groan. She lays in silence for a moment, feeling absolute agony for being so stupid, she peaks through her fingers and looks back up the ceiling again, "Fuck..."

I haven't even dabbled with what goes on in her head after she accepts this fact, the sudden guilt consuming her, feeling like she betrayed Chujin, the person she loved with her entire soul only to fall for another. She hates it. And if she confesses she's going to be a wreck and Starlo just instantly goes to comfort her, telling her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to confess to h- No. She wants this, she's absolutely in love, he may have fallen first but she fell even harder, but with so much conflict in her mind, wanting to hold his hand without the weight on her shoulders pulling her back. The entire time they're together, Starlo finds the time to console her, comfort her, feeling horrible for making him stay up late just for her but he says he doesn't mind and he himself wants this, feeling absolutely honored to have her in her arms and that she trusts him so much that she's just so open and vulnerable and he's being so kind and patient to her I hate them I HATE THEM I FFUCKING HATE THUEJN R F FUCK FUCKF FFIFUUCJCC N I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thE SLOW BURN IS SO SLOW BUT KEEP UP AND SET THE KITCHEN IN FLAMES PLEASE RAUGHHH

SAVE ME STAROBA W AS SAV VE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

TL;DR: uhhhh read a post and it convinced me that Ceroba slowly falls in love with Starlo over time without realizing it and when she finally does she feels really guilty cuz it feels like she's betraying Chujin, the slow burning is burning and the angst is scrumptious. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. /j

[la-pheacienne]

I wish there was a way to actually convey in english the transition between the plural and the singular verbs used by Javert depending on who he's speaking to. In french (and in my own native language, greek) we have this thing where, if we are addressing someone important, or even someone we respect, we have to address them as if they're mutliple people? Idk how to explain this in english. In english we just have "you", but in french we have two words for "you": "vous" (plural of "you") et "tu" (singular of "you"). But in greek culture we don't care about this that much and it is very common to talk to the waiter for example or to a stranger who is your age, in a normal way, not addressing them as if they're multiple people. And this doesn't necessarily mean you disrespect them or that you consider them inferior to you, it's just a sign of friendliness and familiarity.

But in France oh boy this is such a no no. If you address a stranger without respecting this formality it is so so deeply impolite. It's the equivalent of calling your Professor "bro". You just don't do it. However, if a state officer does it it's not just impolite, it's extremely offensive, it's perceived as an actual attack, which it is. It's saying "you are inferior, a second class citizen, and I will treat you as such and the state will treat you as such". And guess what, it still happens, but it happens almost exclusively to homeless people, immigrants or just non white people, mainly arabs and black people. These groups of people are often being addressed by the police for example as "one person" (singular of you) and not in plural, and it may sound ridiculous a to someone who is not familiar with that formality but here, it is an insidious but very real way of asserting authority over marginalized citizens while stripping them of their value and humanity.

And yeah Javert of course is extreeeemely polite to Valjean when he thinks he's Madeleine, because he's the Mayor, so he's a superior, so he addresses him using the plural form and of course he uses the singular form when talking to Fantine and of course he switches to singular form when he talks to Valjean later, once he discovers his real identity. This small detail really conveys how Javert treats Fantine and Valjean like actual flies that he can just squash with his boot. Also it should be noted that while Javert has started addressing Valjean in singular form, Valjean still continues to respect the formality, addressing him in plural. Perfect depiction of class hierarchy.

[tennessoui]

it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏

[pilferingapples]

OK there's definitely other things to discuss in this chapter but I gotta highlight this bit:

Courfeyrac said to Bahorel:— “Would you believe it? Marius comes home nowadays at one o’clock in the morning.” Bahorel replied:— “What do you expect? There’s always a petard in a seminary fellow.”

especially because it's a bit where some translations I otherwise love and cherish Fail Me Utterly

Because yes on the one level it's a pretty standard "it's always the quiet ones" kind of comment

but also: Bahorel is straight up saying Marius is an explosive/carrying an explosive

you know. Like a powder keg, say

this is how Marius is going to show up at the barricade

Bahorel Knows The Future

(also I very much love that everyone really DOES sit around gossiping about Marius' love life, if only because Courfeyrac won't shut up about it XD)

[chai-en-kaadhale]

you read old classics because youre actually smart. i read old classics because i like making fun of people from the 1800s. we are not the same.

[e-louise-bates]

Anne remembered that Miss Cornelia had given her a very different impression of Leslie’s mother. But had not love the truer vision?

NO, Anne, for heaven’s sake, no. Even taking into account Miss Cornelia’s bias, there is no way Rose West comes out of this story as anything but the villain of the piece. Even in other versions of this story as told in short stories (i.e, Only a Common Fellow, Four Winds), it’s never a mother who sells her daughter into sexual slavery so she can stay in her house. There’s no way to paint that as anything less than horrific.

Still, it *was* selfish of Rose West to make her daughter marry Dick Moore.

I’m glad you can at least admit that much, Anne! I do love your desire to think the best of people (as shown even in your younger years in your attempt to defend the women who raised you prior to Green Gables as meaning to be kind), but there are limits.

It’s amazing to me how I could read Anne’s House of Dreams as a kid and recognize the inherent tragedy of Leslie’s story without in the least understanding its implications, and then read it as an adult and realize that Rose West made her daughter marry an abusive r@pist so that she wouldn’t have to get kicked out of her house—granted Leslie claims that Rose never knew how bad Dick was, it’s still appalling.

(As a kid it was the bit about Kenneth that hit me the hardest, especially Leslie having seen his face as he was killed and never being able to forget it. I wonder if naming her own son Kenneth was an attempt to replace the old horror of that with new memories?)

[incomingalbatross]

@thatscarletflycatcher @brambleberrycottage I would love to talk more about Cranford, but I've been having trouble coming up with anything more eloquent than "it's Good." Because it IS.

I'm really glad it seemed to be a hit with our book club (mainly composed of my family + one other). Multiple people mentioned specifically that for a while they felt like it wasn't going anywhere in particular (which was fine) but then it DID! I think everyone, rightfully, loved Miss Matty. There were also a lot of laughs about the funny parts of the book, especially the hosting/manners-related humor.

Personally I had a pretty good idea of the book's virtues going in (which may be why I had a hard time coming up with commentary - you guys know all this already! I heard it here first! :P). But I loved the pathos and the humor and... really, the tenderness for little, quiet lives, that can acknowledge their ridiculousness and obscurity and seeming futility but still paint them with love and dignity.

The quiet tragedies are heartbreaking - but so are the kindnesses. These ladies are all absurd sometimes - because they're human. It's just. It's very much about human dignity and goodness and the worth of every human life even at its pettiest.

[diamondnokouzai]

being transgender is crazy because youll be wondering whats a polite way to come out to your mom when youve been out of the closet for the last 10 years

the question has never been 'is my mom transphobic'. the question is 'does my mom hate ME for being transgender, or does she just hate the fact that i AM transgender'. there is no way that i can explain it to her that she will handle well because she is not interested in handling it well. she doesnt care about transgender people, which means she cant care about me no matter how bad she might want to. she woul rather have me dead and cis than alive and trans.

and how am i supposed to explain that to my dad? how am i supposed to tell him that i dont think my mom has loved me since i was 14? how am i supposed to say that without him hating me?

i wish i knew why at least. i wish she could tell me what part about me she hates so much so that i wouldnt die wondering. as if i have to.

[frnkiebby]

HIGH QUALITY PHOTOZ OF FRANK

UGH PLS

fucking love late lm frank

i love all lm frank

fuck~🎃

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

1, 4, 21, 25!

1. How many books did you read this year?

127 (according to StoryGraph), but I'm 70% through The Second Sex and will probably finish a handful more before January.

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

I really loved Seth Dickinson's Baru Cormorant trilogy and am planning on checking out his other works. I also started reading Naomi Novik and am actively resisting her Napoléonic Wars But With Dragons series (Spinning Silver, her latest release, was really tight, but Uprooted was ... less purposeful? And I don't wanna commit to a ten-book series).

Otherwise, I actually did a lot more branching out to explore authors I've already read books by to confirm if it was a fluke or if I consistently like their work — Colson Whitehead (anything that isn't autobiographical is masterfully written), Donna Tartt (this woman has a chokehold on my SOUL), R.F. Kuang (great ideas though sometimes a bit ambitious for her abilities — but she's growing more powerful). I've read stories from Nghi Vo's Singing Hills series and have enjoyed all of them, but I haven't checked out their other works, so it feels disingenuous to say I love them as an author for now, but I'm certainly open to reading their other works based on this. Oh, and I finally read my first Discworld book, so you could say it's all over for me.

21. Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

lol, not even familiar with those communities.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

My book club friends this year had soft, no-pressure goals of 100 books for the year, so I set that as a passive benchmark for myself. I guess ... reduce the number of books in my to-read pile on StoryGraph? I seem to keep adding more every time I read another book. ^^;

[realbeefman]

never not thinking about gregory j. read's "the train is an umbilical cord" ohhhh you think you're so clever. dead on the tracks metaphorically SEVERING that cord. sally swoops into that interrogation room and alex perks up with the "do you have kids?". okay.