#almost every language has this formality lol

[la-pheacienne]

I wish there was a way to actually convey in english the transition between the plural and the singular verbs used by Javert depending on who he's speaking to. In french (and in my own native language, greek) we have this thing where, if we are addressing someone important, or even someone we respect, we have to address them as if they're mutliple people? Idk how to explain this in english. In english we just have "you", but in french we have two words for "you": "vous" (plural of "you") et "tu" (singular of "you"). But in greek culture we don't care about this that much and it is very common to talk to the waiter for example or to a stranger who is your age, in a normal way, not addressing them as if they're multiple people. And this doesn't necessarily mean you disrespect them or that you consider them inferior to you, it's just a sign of friendliness and familiarity.

But in France oh boy this is such a no no. If you address a stranger without respecting this formality it is so so deeply impolite. It's the equivalent of calling your Professor "bro". You just don't do it. However, if a state officer does it it's not just impolite, it's extremely offensive, it's perceived as an actual attack, which it is. It's saying "you are inferior, a second class citizen, and I will treat you as such and the state will treat you as such". And guess what, it still happens, but it happens almost exclusively to homeless people, immigrants or just non white people, mainly arabs and black people. These groups of people are often being addressed by the police for example as "one person" (singular of you) and not in plural, and it may sound ridiculous a to someone who is not familiar with that formality but here, it is an insidious but very real way of asserting authority over marginalized citizens while stripping them of their value and humanity.

And yeah Javert of course is extreeeemely polite to Valjean when he thinks he's Madeleine, because he's the Mayor, so he's a superior, so he addresses him using the plural form and of course he uses the singular form when talking to Fantine and of course he switches to singular form when he talks to Valjean later, once he discovers his real identity. This small detail really conveys how Javert treats Fantine and Valjean like actual flies that he can just squash with his boot. Also it should be noted that while Javert has started addressing Valjean in singular form, Valjean still continues to respect the formality, addressing him in plural. Perfect depiction of class hierarchy.

[onepieceisreeeeaaalll]

HOW THEY EAT

Hey! I wanted to add another piece of kinktober content even if I’m not doing the daily challenge. I’ve recently had more free time so I’ve been writing again. I plan on putting up more SFW content and drabbles soon, but I’m admittedly having way too much fun writing smut lol.

CHARACTERS: Law, Zoro, and Sanji

CW: NSFW!! Afab reader x Character; manhandling with Zoro; mention of overstimulation; (sort of) dom Law and dom Zoro

Only did a little bit of proof-reading so I might edit as I go. Enjoy!

Edited for redundancies.

———————————————

LAW - Deliberate

Law is a man who takes his time. His whole life has been so fast-paced, urgent and exhausting in its own right. So, when it comes to pleasuring his woman, Law is insistent in the fact that he wants to take his time. After all, the best things in life are savored, right?

Mussed black hair is all you can see just barely peeking over your breasts, his head snug between your legs. His lips trail and nip over your inner thighs, sucking and leaving small red and purple marks in their wake. With every small, wanton sigh and gasp that leaves you, Law knows he’s doing a good job. Praise is his love language, after all, though he'd never admit that.

His breath ghosts delicately over the lips of your pussy, puffs of air that come between kitten licks against your skin. He savors the descent, relishing in every little noise and twitch of your body. It’s not until you’re practically whining for more contact that he finally kisses at your needy, aching clit. The movement is testing, always careful to see just how much you want him. If he decides you don’t want him enough, he’ll return his attention back to your thighs. Those occasions when you aren’t ready, he’ll bite at your stomach and thighs until you’re a panting, tortured mess. The majority of the time, though, he’s fairly practiced at getting you there with ease. So, after kissing at your clit, he’ll lick a delicate strip along your slit with the tip of his tongue.

It’s when he hears you breathe a curse under your breath, or moan his name softly, that he’ll formally dig into the bountiful feast before him. Strong hands hold your thighs apart with a firm, needy grip.

One thing about Law is that he really knows how to use his tongue. Sharp, cutting remarks somehow translate to the way it curls and laps over you in the bedroom. He is incredibly skilled and always intentional with it. With a flat tongue, he’ll begin where he thinks best to get you aroused, that beautiful bundle of nerves that sits atop your anatomy. He loves this point of contact, using his tongue to slowly circle your clit with the tip of his tongue before flattening it to stimulate it up and down, side to side. It’s slow, deliberate, and meant to very carefully curate specific responses from you. Eventually, if you’re twitching and begging for more, he’ll keep licking and sucking at his own pace to try and draw as much pleasure from you as possible.

If this wasn’t enough, when he’s trying to build you up, he’ll use that tongue of his to speak the filthiest, most possessive things possible against your flesh.

”Mmm…fuck, (y/n). Tastes so good for me…all mine.” He’ll mumble after retracting his tongue, the breath over your cunt driving you crazy.

If you whine or complain about the break in contact, he’ll just smirk, his eyes tearing away from his meal to look up at you. Law's eyes are always dark with pupils blown out from lust. The look alone is enough to send a shiver down your spine.

”Look at you, so impatient. So goddamn needy.” Law smirks, “And so loud. What did I say about keeping quiet? You’re gonna have to try harder than that. Or should I just stop, since you can’t follow a simple rule?”

When you shake your head quickly in response, trying to prove that you’ll be good - you’ll be patient, quiet. He lets out a small hum against your cunt. He’ll click his tongue almost teasingly, as if trying to use the sound alone to drive you crazy. He loves when you become a desperate, pleading mess. There’s nothing more beautiful to him.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d like that.” He'll pause, moving his tongue to trace slowly back and forth over your clitoris. “Be a good girl and keep that mouth shut.”

It’s when his tongue moves lower, lapping to tease at your entrance before sliding tantalizingly slow up to your clit that he really has his fun. Once again, Law takes his time between these two locations - it’s about the journey, not the destination. Not that you agree, of course, but he wants to show you how much better things are his way.

He'll continue like this, moving back and forth between teasing your entrance and your clit. It's almost like a game to him to see how slow he can go before you're absolutely a keening, sweaty, panting mess. Law will chuckle to himself, sending vibrations through your flesh. Once again, this is intentional, just as everything is. This man knows what he's doing and he lives for the thrill of seeing what he’s done to you. It’s his own way of marking you - reminding you that no one else has this power over you. Just Law.

When he's finally had his fun, that's when he'll finally satiate both of your growing need to see you orgasm. Using his tongue, he'll quicken the pace of his movements, entering your aching pussy and rubbing his nose into your clit. He eats with a new sense of determination with the sole intention of getting you off. If he decides you're being too loud, he won't bother to vocally reprimand you again, instead opting to reach up and shove his fingers into your mouth. If you suck on them, he'll reward you with a groan and a strip of his tongue to your clit.

Law won’t stop until he's pulled at least two orgasms from you. It's only when his dick is throbbing painfully against his pants that he'll finally relent, kissing up your body and positioning himself to fuck you stupid.

———————————————

ZORO - Hungry

Zoro is the kind of man who eats his meal like he's been starving for weeks. It doesn't matter how long it's been since he's last eaten you out. To him, it's seemingly never enough. The swordsman is insatiable and you damn well know that when he wants something, he gets it. If you don’t give it to him, he’ll take it. Not that you’re complaining.

“Get on the bed. Now.”

It's not a request. It's a demand.

If he's had a hard day, he's been known to launch you onto the bed himself with a searing, rough kiss. Nothing about this man is gentle, not even the way he is with you. Zoro likes to manhandle, though he’ll always be careful enough to not hurt you. He just has a lot of pent up energy and is more than willing to show you just how much he wants you, pushing beyond his stoicism to make his desires known. He’ll never use words to tell you that he likes to eat you out, but he doesn’t have to. Zoro is a man of action and it shows.

Sometimes he won't even wait until you're fully undressed. Zoro will drag you to the edge of the bed and hook his strong arms under your thighs to pull you close. He'll begin licking you over your panties with a flat tongue, the smell of your arousal elicits grunts and groans from him. When the fabric is so wet from the combination of your slick and his saliva, he'll finally pull them aside or rip them off to remove any barriers. If there are a few words that can best describe Zoro when it comes to oral, it's impatient, greedy, and voracious.

His tongue immediately delves into your folds and licks at your entrance. He'll move his tongue up to your clit in aggressive, hungry laps before sucking on your labia. No flesh goes untouched by him. Zoro isn't one to half-ass anything he really cares about and your pleasure is no exception. When he begins to eat you, he'll go full-throttle. He's a disciplined man - he has to be in order to meet his goal of becoming the world’s greatest swordsman. When it comes to you, though, there's no sign of restraint. Zoro doesn't just eat, he consumes.

Zoro is messy. Saliva will mix with your juices on his cheeks, his nose, and drip down his chin. He doesn't care about staying clean, he can deal with it later. For now, all he can focus on is the ambrosial sight before him and the pretty sounds coming from your lips. God, he loves the way you sound. The noises alone are enough to make him double his efforts as a reward for how good you’re reacting to him. In fact, if he doesn't think you're being loud enough, he might reach a hand up to slide over your stomach to your chest, fondling a breast and pulling at your nipple. He's also been known to pull you further off the bed, using his strength to hold you up just so he can have access to slap your ass. Every yelp or whine from you results in a groan from him that vibrates over your folds.

He will return every noise you make ten-fold. He’s typically pretty quiet outside of the bedroom, but when it comes to sex, he doesn’t hold back. He wants everyone to hear how good he’s making you feel and how good you’re making him feel. It’s his way of showing off, the possessive and gloating mean-streak showing. Zoro will groan loudly against you, grunting and slurping in order to make sure you know just how much he’s loving every second of eating you out.

Zoro loves to tongue-fuck you more than anything. He’s gotten into the habit of bringing a thumb around to focus on your clitoris while he reaches as deep as he can. To him, it’s one of the most arousing, sensual things he’s ever experienced. Feeling your soft, velvet walls constricting against the muscle of his tongue is downright erotic to him in every sense of the word. Sometimes, he'll pull out just to dirty talk to you, though most of the time, he's too focused on the task at hand. The times he talks dirty, though, his voice is gruff and low. He gets drunk on pussy the same way he does saké.

“So tight for me already. Guess I'm not fucking you enough.” He'll mumble, placing kisses against you before diving right back in. He doesn't even care if you respond, all he wants is to continue his meal.

All the while, his calloused thumb is working over your clit with a renewed sense of urgency. He's not gentle, but he’s careful enough to make sure the feeling isn’t too overwhelming or painful. His digit will move back and forth, sometimes up and down depending on his mood, pressing at a moderately fast rate. When he feels like you aren't reacting the way he wants, he'll press against the delicate bundle slightly harder but at a slower, agonizing pace. He's also a fan of tracing his tongue back up to make sure it's wet enough for his thumb to glide over you with ease.

He won't even bother counting the orgasms he pulls from you - he'll eat until he's full. When he's finally satisfied, when you're an absolute babbling wreck above him, he'll finally pull away to take his cock out in preparation for a very, very long night. Zoro always leaves a clean plate.

———————————————

SANJI - Dedicated

The curly-browed cook has always appreciated a good culinary experience. When it comes to your pussy, though, it's almost ritualistic the way he consumes. Like any good cook, he doesn't just eat, he tastes. There's a sort of reverence that comes from Sanji's handling of you, as if he's a lowly servant worshipping some kind of ancient goddess. If you asked him about it, he'd tell you exactly that - he's appreciating the body of someone who he doesn't deserve. If you tell him that he does deserve you, he won't have it. To him, you're so beautiful and above him that its not even quantifiable.

Sanji wants you to be comfortable, laid out on the bed and already undressed. He'll start at your ankles, slowly kissing up your legs to appreciate every inch of your lower body. He'll take his time, whispering compliments against your skin as he runs his hands along your calves and thighs. Sometimes he'll take the time to massage you, but this depends on how patient he is. After a particularly long day, he'll settle for cutting to the usual routine, though he'll never skip the legs. Sanji is a legs man, through and through.

“Mon coeur, so perfect…you're so soft.” He'll murmur, his lips ghosting soft trails over your knee. “I can't wait to make you come, angel.”

Sanji will fluctuate between using his tongue and his lips on his slow ascension towards your pussy. He can already feel you shaking for him, and if you complain, he'll laugh softly against your skin and apologize. After all, he's not cruel. He knows exactly what you're wanting and he's not one to let his woman suffer and beg.

He'll gently run his hands over your thighs before kissing over the lips of your cunt. Sanji treats your pussy lips the same way he treats the lips of your face - the kisses are gentle, heated, and intense. His gaze will never leave yours. He wants to look at you while he goes down on you if for nothing more than to see those beautiful eyes looking down at him.

When he finishes his gentle ministrations, he'll take his time licking long strips over your slit with a flat tongue, lingering on your clit where he'll dig in side to side with the tip of his tongue. He loves the way you moan, the soft sighs that leave you, and he'll smile easily against your flesh.

Sanji likes to taste every part of you he can. He'll lick and gently suck at your clit, your labia, and of course your entrance. He'll circle around the entrance, bringing his tongue back up gently to your clit. He likes to taste everywhere he can, to savor the rich aroma that comes from your pussy. He'll fluctuate between licking and kissing at you, continuing to whisper praises.

“You're so amazing, so gorgeous…so delicious.” He'll say before diving his tongue into your entrance, moaning into your skin. His hands will run up and down your thighs, holding them apart gently so that they don't close over his head. He's a fan of your thighs closing around his head, but he likes to wait until he's made you orgasm before he lets it happen. It's like a reward for his efforts.

One of his favorite ways to drag an orgasm out of you is to pull his tongue from your entrance, licking and sucking at your clit gently while fingering you. Sanji is very good with his hands. He’s a chef, after all. He’ll ease one finger into you at a time, focusing on the way you tighten around them. When he feels you pulse or flutter in that very specific way that tells him you’re close, he’ll curl his fingers and tease at your g-spot. When you do come, he’ll bring his tongue back down to your entrance and pull his fingers out, lapping at the pooling liquid. Sanji swears nothing tastes better than your pussy when you come.

Sanji doesn't eat with the intention of getting his own pleasure afterwards, though he'll palm himself as he works to ease the tension in his pants. He especially likes it if he can feel your leg or foot brush against his erection. He swears that he can come just from the sight and feeling of you finishing on his tongue. It's an addiction that he's developed, and he's not sure if he can ever fuck you properly without eating you out first. Your pleasure matters to him and it's shown in the way he effortlessly moves his tongue across your folds.

Sanji will bring you to orgasm as long as you'll let him. He doesn't want to hurt or overstimulate you, but he'll go seemingly for hours if you'll let him. When you've finally had enough, tugging on his hair as your signal, he'll kiss up your thighs and stomach until he reaches up to your face. He'll let you suck your juices from his tongue and lips, a small smile lighting up his face.

“What do you think, beautiful? Tastes good, right?”

Sanji always cares about your opinion of his work, whether it be cooking or the way he pleasures you.

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #4 | Fight with Homophobes

Honestly, I wanted to dissect these scenes right away but then we got the rest of the show uploaded and the emotions overshadowed me. But now we're diving into informal Korean speech, swearing and slurs! It's going to be a fun post, let's go :D

Disclaimer: I'll be writing down both English and Korean slurs strictly in educational manner, obviously.

"Fuck. You two are always so fucking close together. (to Myungha) Are you also a faggot (homosekki)? Wow, Kyunghyun's skills are so good." "Why are you so vulgar? What's wrong with being homo?" "You're really crazy. Are you criticizing me?" ... (Myungha kisses Tak Junho) " Ah fu— You damn faggot!" "We both kissed. I'm not the only one who's homo. You're homo too~" "You did it yourself, you faggot!" "Ah, our Junho keeps saying 'homo'. Tss, slurs are forbidden." "Shut up, you faggot." "If you call me homo one more time, I can steal your lips for real. (Junho is silent) Ha, afraid you'll be robbed?"

Honestly, I like the translation in subs this time, I just wanted to give you a more technical version (and to show you the difference, because in Gaga subs the f slur is also used by Myungha but it's not exactly that)

So, as far as I noticed, the slur in Korean is a derivative from the term "homosexual" - thanks to the similar sounding, it became "homosekki" (from sekki - asshole, bastard, bitch etc). This is the word Junho keeps using in almost every sentence. And the socially accepted common term is now "gay" (at least, the cast and couple from Korean reality dating show "His Man 2" refers to themselves as 'gay' and not 'homo').

Myungha uses the original term, just "homo", which also gained a negative connotation but doesn't include a 'sekki' swearword. So he keeps saying "homo" to talk back in the language Junho used, only less derogatory. We'll see later but it's amazing, because both Myungha and Sangwon confidently used this word about themselves (Sangwon even went further and proudly reclaimed the slur itself).

Still, Myungha did threaten gangster Junho not to even call him "homo" or any similar terms. And here's the moment which made me laugh: in the next scene with Sangwon, Junho was angry ranting about Myungha, but he caught himself using the slur "homosekki" and quickly changed to the modern and neutral term "gay". LOL

Which is what Gaga subs failed to show it to us. Again, let's see more technical translation:

"I'll go after Tae Myungha and Ahn Kyunghoon soon, just so you know. Those fa– Those gay bastards must die. That fucker Tae Myungha kissed me in the lips, shit. Isn't it fucked up? It was disgusting." (Sangwon, pouting) "Wow, really? It must've been nice." "Jeez, you asshole. You're not a victim so you dare talking shit." "I'm being serious, though?" (Junho, appalled) "What the hell are you talking about? You're not a faggot." "I am a faggot, though?"

One, why is it so funny that the first reaction Sangwon had, hearing about Myungha kissing someone in a fight, was: awww :( i wish it was me :((( you so lucky :((

Second, it's hilarious how the gangster ends up the ONLY person who ever uses nice and modern term "gay" once in this show because our protagonists both hit him back with the derogatory terms (Sangwon even attached the slur to himself, when he only liked girls before falling in love with Myungha at first sight, what a legend).

Let's wrap it up with slurs and check out another small detail: informal speech in Korean.

(Sangwon to Myungha)"Why would we fight here?" (Yeowoon to Sangwon)"Hey, watch your tone (don't use informal speech)" "Was I talking like that with you?" "Talk curt (informally) only with me." "I'm already being curt (talking informally) with you."

This one is definitely a cultural thing that always gets lost in translation (but "being curt" is a nice way of putting it). There are two general styles of speech in Korean: Formal (존댓말, jondemal) and Informal (반말, banmal). Of course, it's a lot more complicated in the language, but I'll paint briefly the differences that are pointed out in the scene.

I talked in previous posts about properly addressing your senior in korean (usually by title/position). To convey respect to your senior, you also use 요 (yo) at the end of the sentences – and both Sangwon and Yeowoon talk politely to Myungha. UNTIL Sangwon uses the rude version of a question, without polite ending ("Why would we fight here?"), to which Yeowoon protests and tells Sangwon that it's banmal, informal speech, and he should only use it with him.

Because with your friends, same age people (Yeowoon and Sangwon in this case) or people younger than you, it's normal to use their names with different intonations (Think Myungha's "Yeowoon-ah, Yeowoon-ie") and talk informally.

(Yeowoon to Myungha) "I asked who it was." "You're being curt (that's an informal speech)".

Fast forward – Yeowoon loses patience and demands Myungha "I asked who it was", question without polite ending as well. To which Myungha cheekily says "that was an informal speech", reminding Yeowoon of his own remark to Sangwon.

Fast forward again – and now I have to take back my previous statement from another post that Yeowoon never called Myungha by his name because I found the rare case of him doing it xD

"Tae Myungha is so frustrating." "You're speaking informally more often these days."

Again, a youngster! calling his senior! by his own name! Not using the polite ending! The horrors of informal speech. He's not being too rude but he's sulking therefore he's rebelling. Though I can swear, again, Yeowoon hears Myungha's scolding and resorts back to speaking politely, and from now on, he'll keep using 'senior'.

If you survived until the end of this post, congratulations! The second half probably wasn't needed but in case you're learning Korean or you want to know why these seemingly normal phrases are being considered "curt" out of nowhere, I hope you understand it now a little bit better :)

// Previous messages translation + other language moments here //

[vintagemulti]

a psa for those writing for johnny “soap” mctavish

as much as a love the works you’re all writing, a lot of people really don’t know how to write a scottish character (and that’s ok !!!! we get like no rep so) so as a scottish writer, i figured i should help you guys out a little bit.

dialogue

johnny has a VERYYY strong accent as i’m sure anyone can work out

however this doesn’t mean he’s suddenly speaking a different language

yes, a lot of slang is used and for a basic definition of scottish slang and how they should be used; use this ! if you have no idea of slang i’d recommend reading through every word

although we like to use slang, i can promise you that if we’re with someone that wouldn’t understand a word of it / someone who’s first language isn’t english, we wouldn’t speak fully scot (for example if johnny was speaking to alejandro or rudy)

there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he can speak gaelic. yeah i know this is an obvious one but i have seen a few people slip gaelic into his dialogue and that’s super duper inaccurate

barely anyone in scotland speaks gaelic (unless you’re up very high north or maybe in the isles). it’s actually almost an extinct language because the english pretty much wiped it out when we got colonised.

something i love to see is when he mumbles little scottish things under his breath. accurate af.

we say shite more than shit. and never ever will a scottish person say ass. it’s arse all the way.

we don’t call people (especially if you’re sleeping with someone !!!!) lass. or lassie. we call kids that.

pet names are normally along the lines of love, hen (my personal fave), sweetheart, little lady, bonnie (sometimes)

also, shagging is sex. shag, shagged, shagger. yeah.

mum not mom. maw, more commonly.

all that being said he does use a loottttt of slang so honestly go ham i love seeing scots language get used because it’s not been used in fanfic like ever before

culture

seen a few people write soap going mad for st andrews day

yeah no we don’t to that lol i barely every remember that it’s actually st andrews day

also, we aren’t all completely versed on celtic mythology. i could barely tell you the first thing about it.

in scotland we’re all kind of touchy, like we’ll greet people with a hug and stand weirdly close to each other so if that’s something you’re writing about it’s important to note that our personal space is really small

not sure where people get this idea from but scotland isn’t all sheep and highlands and fairies and like little huts

yes we have that but we’re a really modern nation and wayyy to many people have a weird perception of scotland

my man is literally from like glasgow (his accent sounds glasgow but don’t quote me on that) he’s not a farmer or anything

we swear. a lot.

KILTS. not skirts, very common to wear in scotland to events like weddings, christenings, anything formal really.

cunt isn’t a horrible word i literally everyone a cunt, sometimes it’s used affectionately

misc.

if you’re gonna write about scottish politics i beg you research it. johnnys probably pro independence and an SNP voter. google it for context

we’re really loud. and we talk really fast. yes, other characters are gonna be confused af

irn bru !!!!!!!!! it’s a scottish drink and ive seen one person mention it and i just about cried i loved it

in scotland you can vote at 16 and join the army at 16 if that’s relevant to you

if you’re going to write about something you don’t know anything about, either do research or ask someone scottish (im more than happy to help!!)

please don’t take these as complaints or anything !! it’s just very very off putting to see people make massive misconceptions and conclusions about scotland! i love that we’re finally getting some hype. anyways ask about anything!! <3

[starstruckmoony]

style.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x fem!reader

summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing, just to watch everyone lose their shit online.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 1k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 804,337 others

yourusername mirror's dirty but i felt pretty

7,164 comments

starmanblack damn smash

yourusername thirsty mf

starmanblack you're not wrong

cissy_blck i promise i'm cooler than your boyfriend

luciusssy i love you too bae

cissy_blck 🥰

bartyyy can you sign my house?

yourusername i'll see what i can do

lily_evans UMMMMMM MOTHER?

mmmckinnon mommy.

prongsyboy mama?

starmanblack PRONGS

user128836 i don't know the colour of anything

user702655 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND????

user358991 sirius said smash and i agree

user073823 the only man we trust

user662627 i'm gonna clown so hard but why did half of sirius family like this post?

user491175 i almost sent a thirst tweet

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 799,853 others

starmanblack boyfriend vibes 😩

6,897 comments

yourusername very real

starmanblack i'm flattered

yourusername you better be

yourusername you still smell like horse tho

starmanblack go away

prongsyboy did you tell him i said hi?

starmanblack i got you his autograph

mmmckinnon you didn't even tag the photographer smh

starmanblack why are you offended in the name of the photographer?

mmmckinnon i'm just defending my wifey

casmeadowes i wasn't there???

user075764 DATE ME

user246766 you single?

user113388 he's dating y/n l/n

user300722 i volunteer to take your bf photos ���

user943534 CONFIRM THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING

user855465 y/n has a boyfriend and you just put boyfriend in the caption so i'll live in delusion from now on

user464646 i wanna be a horse

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, pandorasbox, rjlupin and 844,008 others

yourusername london, i'm speechless. i had the most amazing time with all of you last night and i can't wait to perform for you again 💞 hearing you guys sing your hearts out with me was truly magical, thank you sooo much and i love love love every single one of you 💕 also! a special thanks that friend group from the first row who gave me a bunch of plushies, my heart is extra happy 😚

tagged ev.rosier

8,677 comments

starmanblack i was there, i can confirm

yourusername I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE CROWD AT FIRST AND I GOT SO SAD

starmanblack lol i love you sm

starmanblack my guitar fits your aesthetic nicely

yourusername i know right?!? me and her were meant to be

marymacdonald when i say best concert of my life i mean it

yourusername i don't deserve you

bartyyy first row seats hmghnhm 😩

yourusername perks of dating the photographer

ev.rosier you're welcome bartemius

user201010 i cried ugly tears

user927161 i formally apologise to the people who were near me 💀

user472738 ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS??? THEY'RE DEFO DATING

user928312 YOU PLAYED MY FAVOURITE SONG AND I WASN'T THERE 😭😭😭

user446286 one of those plushies was from meeeee

user018381 lost my voice but it feels so right

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, marymacdonald, lily_evans and 810,777 others

starmanblack ok.

7,995 comments

yourusername he loves you

starmanblack he bit my converse

yourusername it was an act of love

starmanblack AND HE STOLE ONE OF MY DOCS

yourusername IT. WAS. AN. ACT. OF. LOVE.

yourusername bet you deserved that

starmanblack you were just saying he loves me?

yourusername was i though?

vance_emm what in the gaslighting hell is going on above me?

r.a.black wdym? i'm loving it

user242539 i've yet to see a normal picture of this little guy

user301453 THE BICKERING LMAOOO

user463646 HELP HE'S VIOLATING YOU

user857433 he's in his reputation era

user302770 THIS DOG PLS

yourusername added to their story

celeb_gossip

♡ 37,022 likes

celeb_gossip a scandal is on its way! 👀 there's been word on the street that sirius black and y/n l/n have had a little something going on since the beginning of the year, and we are almost certain that this isn't just another case of senseless rumours. 🙈 other than constantly interacting with one another on social media, the two have been pictured entering l/n's apartment after what seemed like a romantic night out. 😌 several sources can prove that the couple has been caught in ways that scream everything BUT platonic, and we deem them quite credible. 😉 but in the light of all of this, the two singers haven't said anything. what do you think? 🤔 are they secretly together? 🤭 or are they secretly laughing at all of us? 😶 leave your opinion in the comments! 😘

12,558 comments

user438185 oH

user019570 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user837999 i hope they sue you lol

user262626 they're defo laughing at us

user823715 THE POWER THESE TWO WOULD HOLD AS A COUPLE

user192072 LMAO THEY'D BREAK THE INTERNET IF THEY CONFIRMED IT

user137753 get a life wtf

user020191 pretty sure they're together

user647275 this is out of line

user244411 nah cause paps should be illegal

user302906 I NEED THEM TO SAY SOMETHING I'M LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

user522727 dunno but i want whatever they have going on

yourusername

❤ liked by bellatrixieb, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 855,006 others

yourusername tea pages are saying that i'm dating this weirdo 🤪

tagged starmanblack

10,675 comments

starmanblack people just love being funny

yourusername making me shed tears

starmanblack you could have found a better picture at least 🙄

yourusername fym? this is top tier stuff

starmanblack you're not getting your shades back

yourusername funny 🤣 i'll steal them back today 😐

vance_emm yeah and i'm a hamster

marymacdonald you kind of look like one though 🥺

mmmckinnon LMAOOOOO

starmanblack not you talking

mmmckinnon lmaoing ≠ talking

user283800 guess this confirms it ☹

user916373 WHY DO REG AND SIRIUS' COUSINS KEEP LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS THIS MAKES ME CONFUSEDDDD

user758234 does this mean you're free to date me?

user424116 YOU'RE TROLLING US

user021725 double meaning? (pls say sike i'm desperate)

user024477 calling sirius up rn

user555641 GUYS THERE'S STILL HOPE MAYBE THEY'RE JOKING AROUND

user828295 okay but does it actually matter 💀

starmanblack

❤ liked by lily_evans, pandorasbox, casmeadowes and 873,253 others

starmanblack feeding the paps

11,994 comments

yourusername bet they're still starving

starmanblack we should make out and post it

yourusername twitter will go CRAZYYY

yourusername we look dead tho

starmanblack i reckon it's the cheap wine

yourusername you calling me poor?

starmanblack 😇

prongsyboy i still don't get how or why you had my glasses

starmanblack aesthetic purposes

xeno_lovegood that's cute 🤩

starmanblack facts ong fr fr

cissy_blck reggie's sil

bellatrixieb i'm so jealous

user472721 I WANT

user882923 I CAN'T DECIDE WHO THE LUCKY ONE IS

user382541 NAUR STOP MESSING WITH US

user773724 WHATTGEDHQUXJQDJJQSJJW

user482972 OH MY GOD?????????

user362613 narcissa's comments making me all hopeful

user924474 I'M SO STRESSED

starmanblack added to their story

[dwarf-hat-enjoyer]

🌼Favorite Flowers🌼 (Bachelors' V.)

synopsis: Favorite flowers of all six Stardew bachelors! No farmer mentioned, headcanons. SFW.

w.c.: 1.2k words!

content warnings: None!

A.N.: shoutout to @jellyaris for inspo on the Shane section! Hope everyone enjoys these little snippety snippets...Suuure, some of these headcanons kind of diverge from canon (yeah, yeah. Alex is neutral to dandelions ingame. Sue me, LOL.) But who cares, it's Tumblr! Might make a bachelorettes' version too.

Alex

He's a simple man with simple tastes. DANDELIONS suit him well! He has fond memories of picking dandelions with his mother and blowing the seeds away, and even vaguely remembers how to make flower chains out of them. Of course, he could never get them as neat as hers, but Granny Evelyn still asks for his help when making crowns for the Flower Dance. Apart of him wonders why they have to use nicer-looking flowers for the formal crowns when dandelions work just fine. They're sturdy yet flexible- not nearly as fragile as the more 'beautiful' flowers, and as an athlete, he can admire that about them.

On a deeper level, there are many similarities to be found between Alex and his favorite flower. First impressions can be deceiving- just like most people think of dandelions as pests, Alex can come on a bit strong and even arrogant. But looking beneath the surface, they both share the same physical and mental will to push forward and survive in even the most difficult circumstances. They both go through drastic changes as well. Just as the bright and spiky bloom of a dandelion becomes softer and more delicate, Alex's spirit softens too. His own changes, though, won't float away on the wind anytime soon :P

Elliott

As obvious as it would be to say red roses, SNAPDRAGONS would be his favorites instead! As much as he is a romantic, he's just as much a daydreamer, and snapdragons would provide his imagination with ample opportunity to run wild, both with their fantastical name and lush, delicate appearance. They remind him of adventures in far-off lands, harkening reveries of ancient castles filled with wondrous secrets and the brave heroes set out to uncover them. He's a homebody at heart, but nothing is stopping him from holing up in his cabin and writing about any of it! (Or, well, fantasizing about writing about it, in most cases. <3)

But just as established, he's a romantic. Elliott is definitely well-versed in the language of flowers, and the meaning behind snapdragons in particular hardly eludes him. They symbolize grace, earnestness and strength under pressure, but are also known to represent something less than well-intentioned. Emulating the former qualities is something Elliott has done effortlessly, but in a way, the last one entices him the most. To create something beautiful, strong and mysterious; something that draws one in and sparks love and fear and longing for an endless more- isn't that what every writer wants? What every writer dreams of?

Harvey

A little like Elliott in this regard, Harvey is the sentimental type. FORGET-ME-NOTS hold a special place in his heart. It's a simple flower in appearance with an almost childlike name, but he likes them just the same. Maybe it's because of those traits that he does- they remind him of the carefree days he's missed out on, since moving to the valley. On top of his doctoral duties, he's a very lonely person overall. Forget-Me-Nots, with their hopeful pale blue, almost cheer him up to see on days where he feels less like a member of the community and more like a robot with a stethoscope and scrubs.

It's also their name that connects with him in a way...Forget-Me-Not. On top of the way they look, they cheer him up with that name. On the rare instance that the flower comes up in conversation, he jokes that the person who named it must've had terrible memory, as cheesy as it sounds. But all jokes aside, it's comforting to him that a flower otherwise unremarkable would have a name that insists to the listening ear that it shouldn't be forgotten. Almost inspiring, even. It makes him feel as if one day, he won't be another face-in-the-crowd. Somebody important, though to whom in particular...? Well, time will tell!

Sam

For Sam, it's DAISIES all the way! He constantly flip-flops between spring and summer as his favorite seasons, but daisies give him the best of both worlds. Seeing them dotting the fields in the warmer months always brings a smile to his face. Whether or not he's close with him, Sam definitely got Alex to teach him how to make flower chains one late spring...Of course, Alex may or may not have been mildly jealous of how easily Sam picked up on the skill, but when spending time together outside, Sam's restless hands sometimes find themselves picking daisies from the grass while Abigail and Sebastian chat and bicker and making the both of them bracelets!

When he still lived in the city with his mother, father and a much younger Vincent, he'd sometimes see them poking out of cracks in the sidewalk. While they weren't as common as dandelions, they still always caught his attention. While Jodi chatted aimlessly with her fellow PTA moms outside one of the countless Zuzu City JojaMarts, he'd busy himself, plucking daisies and dandelions from whatever nooks and crannies he could find and playing with them however he wanted. Back then, he didn't think much of it, but he looks at those times with almost a fond nostalgia. Things changed, but that doesn't mean it all has to be sad, right?

Sebastian

He doesn't think about this sort of thing very often, being the lovable terminally-online dork that he is. But if you ask, Sebastian's favorite flower would have to be BLACK TULIPS. It's not a very deep answer, really. Sure, tulips are more of a spring flower, but he finds the pitch purple color to be one of the more interesting colors that plants can have. They stick out among the cheerier colors that most other breeds of tulips display- the goths of their genus, if you will, and that's small part of why he likes them!

He entertained the idea of gardening, at one point, even prior to the farmer's arrival. Though he plans to move out eventually, he thought it would be a good way to get outside and get some exercise, though it wasn't ever really anything he thought to commit to. Though, he does chat with Evelyn on occasion- their shared affinity for tulips and his occasional fantasy of maintaining a small garden has ended up providing a lot more conversation than he's used to, or even expected! Even if most people see him as an asocial shut-in, it's comforting for him to recognize his softer side.

Shane

Look at him. All gruff and mean. His favorite flower is probably a thistle of some sort, or something poisonous. All things considered, his favorite flowers are FAIRY ROSES. Don't give him that look- it's just because Jas likes them so much! Seeing the way she lights up when she sees them is contagious for this gold-hearted curmudgeon. She'd spent two entire weeks planning out a one-woman recital for him and Marnie once, and when he handed her a little JojaMart bouquet of them afterwards...Well, the look on her face made the price tag worth it. Although, her excited squeal did leave his ears ringing for the rest of the evening.

The flowers are native to the valley, too...Sometimes, he feels as if he doesn't belong. Why would he? It's not as if he was born there or has any particularly close friends. If Pelican Town was a garden, he'd just be a weed. But Jas seems to have taken like a duck to water, although she's still shy as ever. Shane can be self-defeating and pessimistic at times, but he's not made of stone. He's grateful that she's in a place where she can flourish, just like the fairy roses she adores so much.

~FIN~

[mingiswow]

Shackled Freedom | Choi San

Pairing: San x afab!reader

Words: 4,3k

Genre: dystopian, smut, angst if you squint

Content Warning: dystopian world, reader is sold by their family, childhood best friend San, mentions of murder and death, mentions of disassociation and dealing with trauma, mentions of weapons and combat, mentions of prostitution, reader has a vagina, not proofread

Smut warning: oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, piv, cumshot, I was pretty tamed in this one for some reason lol

⚠ If you’re under the age of 18 and/or don’t feel comfortable reading that type of content, I have a lot of other content here.

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there are any mistakes. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

Everyone expected you two to get married. San and yn, the perfect duo. You two grew up together, coming from the same poor survival village, living just a few houses from each other and being one of the few kids that still had dreams of a better future. The freaks, how your neighbors and other kids would call. But you didn’t care, San was your safe place and you were his.

You grew up sneaking from your parents and climbing trees, hunting small animals together, learning how to plant and harvest from old books that survived the virus decades ago. Your families did not stand each other but did not interfere in your friendship, life as an apocalyptic baby was already shitty enough.

But you saw your world turn upside down when the peacekeepers from the president came after you and other kids from your village. Your parents, just like theirs, sold you to the government in exchange for food and a bit of money. Since you were the youngest, and therefore, the only “changeable”, they sold you so they could survive. You did not blame your family for it, not when you saw your older sister die of the virus and the others being forced to work more to bring food and money to your household while all you did was play all day with San.

San. The boy you kept in your mind every single day for the rest of your life. Every night you’d lay in your comfortable bed and wish he was there to tell his stupid stories like he did when you were kids. You never heard of him again after you entered the gates of the main city. You and the other kids coming from all over the country being locked up inside those giant concrete walls.

You went through all the types of tests and training for later being sorted into your positions. You almost ended up as one of the pleasure maids for the president if wasn’t for your misbehavior at one of the practice formals. You were very explosive, usually acting with emotion which to them was seen as a virtue, so you ended up as one of the peacemakers. And soon enough, after a few years and a lot of work, you were nominated as the head of the peacemakers in the 5th area as they called it.

And even after all these years, after many missions, you were still scared and guilty that those people were being executed for crimes that were not even real crimes sometimes, they were just trying to survive. With the passing of the years, the president became less and less tolerable, just deciding to execute people just because he could, because he had the power. You were not like that, never been, but you needed to survive as well, your family, which you discovered received every year a small amount of money from your sale, needed to survive, so you disassociated every time you needed to work. yn as a peacemaker wasn’t the same yn you were as you took your uniform out. Also, you couldn’t complain about the life you took in the main city, you had a comfortable life, a comfortable home, clothes to wear and enough food for you to eat and be strong to deal with the rascals.

There was a new talk in town, a group of young people terrorizing near the main city, graffitiing the walls with their rebellious words, throwing bombs, and recruiting people for their group. Some of the citizens complained that they were disturbing the peace, but most importantly, they were getting adepts even inside the walls, people who were allowed to live there, people who had nothing - apparently - to complain about. So of course the president wouldn’t be quiet and happy about it, sending you and many more of his best peacemakers to hunt them down.

You were currently in one of the many trucks looking for them, your suit protected with bulletproof padding and your face protected with an anti-gas mask, but your mind seemed a little uneasy. Your heart seemed a little uneasy. Something inside of you not allowing you to fully disconnect, fully disassociate and do your work. Nico, your partner, and boyfriend, noticed and held your bouncy leg, squeezing it and giving you a reassuring look from inside his mask.

Nico wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t good either. He was in this grey area between doing what he does for his job and doing it because he enjoys it. But on those nights that you were feeling lonely, he was the best you could get. He pleasured you, sure. But it was not like it was the best. Many of those nights you imagined how would San look as an adult, if he still was that skinny kid you left behind, or if he grew to be a strong man. Or if he married and became just like the other men in the village. Many times you got yourself creating a hypothetical San in your head and imagining how he would be in bed, how would he pleasure you if it was him instead of Nico. Those were the nights you came harder. You felt guilty about not actually loving Nico, but again, you weren’t sure he loved you either or he was with you for the convenience as well.

The truck came to a halt, taking you out of your daydreams, and you heard screams outside the vehicle. You and the others went out and found a few people all dressed in black, their clothes looking like they were a bunch of pieces of old clothes that were sawn together, they wore gas masks too, but you couldn’t see their faces underneath, a black balaclava hiding their identity. You were so out of your usual mindset that when they started to attack each other you were caught by surprise, instantly starting to attack them as well.

They were outnumbered but they still had some tricks under their sleeves, managing to get a lot of your men down, but soon reinforcement arrived and they just couldn’t win. Some of them managed to escape, others were killed, and others were captured to take them to the prison and wait for their execution.

Just when you were leaving you noticed that it wasn’t Nico sitting next to you.

“Where’s Nico?” one of your teammates put his hand on your shoulder and denied with his head and he didn’t have to say anything else, you knew Nico was dead.

For some reason you were envious of him, being dead, free from that duty. You didn’t know if it was for the fact that the guilt from killing innocent people was stronger than ever, if it was from you being tired of doing things you didn’t want to or from this gut feeling that something wasn’t right. All you knew was that you wanted to escape, to live a different life, to go back in time and run away when you discovered what your family did.

When you entered the gates, all the cars went straight to the jail, taking all the criminals to be arrested. Some of your men took them as you excused yourself for not feeling well after the death of your boyfriend. But truth was that all you needed was to be alone in the darkness of your room and try to forget the afternoon events. The intentional cold water falling down your back and making all your pores bristle and your tears get lost as they fell into your feet.

You were almost asleep after crying your eyes out of distress and sadness when the doorbell from your apartment rang. You put on your robe and went to pick up the door, knowing it was probably someone to talk about Nico’s death.

“Captain yln” it was one of your subordinates. You nodded for him to keep talking. “One of the prisoners from today is wishing to speak to you, he says he’s the head of rebels”

“Did he say what he wanted to talk about? Or identified himself further?” He denied.

“He just said he has a message to you and that he wishes to speak to you before dying” you sighed and decided that maybe this was going to get you out of your thoughts.

You didn’t think much, just grabbed your holster, not caring to put it on and followed the man. As soon as you entered the prison chills ran down your spine, the loud chanting of the prisoners felt too familiar even though you never heard it. The screams made your head hurt.

You entered one of the interrogation rooms and sat at the usual chair, waiting while they brought in the inmate.

A tall and honestly very handsome man sat in the chair in front of you, a smirk sat on his lips as he looked at you from top to bottom. You analyzed the man, he looked so familiar. His cat-like eyes, his tan skin, his expressions. It looked almost like…

“Long time no see, munchkin” his voice was velvety, sensual, it ran chills down your spine.

“San?” He chuckled and nodded. “Oh my god, San. I can’t believe it is really you!” You left your chair and moved in front of him, pulling him on his feet and into a hug. He immediately returned it

“Hey… hey… I’m here” he said as you nuzzled into his chest and neck, smelling his musky scent, that even with all the dirt from the combat and years without seeing him, still smelled like you could remember. Tears falling freely from your tired eye.

“That’s exactly why!”

For many many years you imagined San, how he’d look, how he’d talk, how he was, what had he done with his future. And then, with him in front of you, standing tall and beautiful, very real, not a result of your imagination, had you dizzy. Not in a million years you’d imagine that he’d grow to be not only a rebel but fucking hot one. All of the nights you imagined him, none of them prepared you for how he looked in real life.

And the realization hit you. He was going to die. He was going to be executed. There’s no way the mayor would leave him alive. That was the first time you were seeing your friend in years. And it was going to be the last.

“I know what you’re thinking in that head of yours, yn” you were cut from your daydreaming, and tilted your head to look at him. “You’re thinking about the execution” you lowered your head, looking at your feet, how he still knew you so well after so long? He grabbed your hands and squeezed them for you to look at him again. “That’s exactly why I asked you to come here”

“I won’t let you die, Sannie. Not now that you are back into my life” his eyes and his smile felt so soft upon you, his right hand caressed your cheek and his callouses scraped your skin gently. “I won’t”

“I know you won’t, baby. Because you will help us escape and will escape with us” his sentence caught you off guard. “We have a plan but we need your help”

“But it won’t be dangerous having me with you? I mean, I know too much, I’ve been working with them for years. God! I’m the head of one of their security troop”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ve been hiding for long enough to know how to hide you too” you nodded and looked around, trying to see if there was a sign of anyone around that could listen to you. You knew the cameras didn’t work for years now, it was just to pretend to the inmates. “Will you help us?”

“Yes, of course. I… I hate this place and I hate what I do” you stopped, head dropping again. “But my family… they need me… they…” he lifted your chin to look at him, which you gladly did so.

“Your family is long gone, yn. Your parents died many years ago in one of the mayor’s interventions, your older sisters married and left the village, Jongho joined us and Dongho left the village a few months after you left. No one gets money from you being here” your mouth was agape, you should’ve known it was all lies to keep you obedient. But even then you fell for them. For the love of your family.

“What’s the plan?” He smiled at you and nodded. You were about to escape that hell hole with the one true love of your life.

When the clock hit midnight the next day, you were already prepared, all the things you needed packed and safely hidden near the south exit of the town. You headed to the prison, uniform from head to toe, and demanded to talk to the chief of the rebels. A man, not much taller than you, met you at the same room you met San previously and you handed him what was planned, helping him hide the controller on his clothes.

You two staged a fight and demanded him to be taken to the south prison, to divide him from his companions. The officer did as you said, leaving you alone in the place since he trusted you. You took the opportunity and released all the other men locked, including San.

Since the prison was far from the actual city, there were a lot of alternative routes they could take to arrive at the southern gates without being seen and separating themselves not to be caught in a bundle.

You, San and other two rebels took one of the riskier routes but if anything happened and you were caught, you could lie about transferring the inmates to the south.

A few minutes later you arrived at the designated gate, a few more of the rebels already there, only two and the chief missing. When the other two arrived, you proceed to go to beat the southern prison to attack when the officer and the chief arrive.

It didn’t take much longer for the two men to appear and the rebels attacked, killing the officer quickly, mercilessly, no sound spilled. You decided to forget what you saw, since you did much worse to some of them when you were dissociated.

“Everyone’s here?” Hongjoong, which you learned was the name of the chief, said counting all of the rebels. “Good. Everyone’s here and alive, time to leave this shit hole” you all nodded as he used the controller you gave him earlier to open the gate since he was the only one who knew how to use that.

Somehow there was already a big black truck waiting for them outside the gates, how they communicated to the others you have no idea, but you were so glad they did because as soon as you all hopped into the vehicle, some of the mayor’s troops came after you. San and the others started to counterattack, throwing homemade bombs into the cars and destroying them, sometimes even more than one in one go.

You sat quietly praying to watch ever god decided to hear you that you left all well and alive, that you could leave all of this behind and start a new life with San.

It wasn’t long until everything went silent and San returned back to your side, hugging you and kissing the top of your head.

“We are free now. You are free” he said, his voice happy, smile on his lips as if he waited to say those words to you forever. And he did.

You finally smiled and threw yourself on him, not giving a fuck there were more people in the truck, and kissed him. It was just a long peck but it was long awaited for the both of you. Everyone around you cheered, happy for you and for the plan that worked.

The entire trip to their headquarters you and San talked about your life after you left, sometimes engaging in conversation with the others as well, but there was a growing tension between you two. So thick you were sure the others could feel and see it too. San’s hands were gently and almost secretly all over your body. He was wrapping them around your waist, then holding your own, then caressing gently your tight by his side. It was when he put them there and gave squeezes that you felt your breath hitch and your stomach curl.

It was evident that you’ve been so frustrated with your absence from each other’s lives, from what you could have been. You were dying for each other, you could feel that in the kiss. And you knew that when you start you won’t stop.

“We’re here, we’re home” the driver announced as he stopped under a big abandoned building and everyone hopped off.

San held your hand and pulled you with him to the third floor, entering one of the rooms.

“They’re gonna fuck, right?” One of the rebels asked, seeing San pull you away so fast and so eagerly.

And he was more than right. San pulled you into that room and closed and locked the door before pushing you against it and kissing you ferociously. His tongue invading your mouth and intoxicating you with his taste. Hands all over your body, squeezing, feeling, touching, as yours were entangled in his soft hair, pulling the strands as you kept devouring each other.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that” he dropped his mouth to your neck, kissing and biting the spot. “How many nights I’ve dreamed of having you to myself” another harsh suck on the skin that made you whine. “How many nights I’ve touched myself thinking about having you even thought I knew you were with that creep”

“Wait” you managed to breathe the word as he kept attacking the sweet spot behind your ear. “Did you know who I was? And who Nico was?”

“I’ve been watching you for so long, yn. We have eyes and ears in those gates, don’t forget that”

“If was anyone else saying this I was going to call them creep but since it’s you I don’t give a single fuck” he kissed you again, smiling between the kiss and biting your lip.

“Good because I am about to give you more than a single fuck” you laughed at him, he hadn’t changed at all.

He finally moved you two to the bed, managing to make you fully naked on the way. You felt your body heating from the way he drank your form, biting his lip and looking like he was about to eat the most delicious meal of his life. You.

He gently laid you on your back and spread your legs open. He started kissing his way to your core, leaving the same love bites on your thighs that he left on your neck. You just threw your head back and enjoyed your touches. Ever so teasing, never really touching the center of your legs.

“Sannie~” you whined, desperate for some contact, some release.

“You want me to eat you out, munchkin?” You nodded eagerly, hand going to his head and trying to guide him but he held himself in place. “Use your words, let me hear you beg for me, let me hear you say the words I’ve dreamed of you saying to me” you writhed in frustration and shyness but you were so needy for him that you just had to say it.

“Please, Sannie. Please. Touch me. Use me. Eat me. Do whatever you want please, I need you”

“God, you’re way hotter than I thought” he gently slapped your clothed core, earning a surprised scream from you. “I’ll give you what you want, baby. Everything you wish” you nodded and he didn’t waste time before diving into your still clothed pussy.

He licked and rubbed on top of the material, the roughness of it deliciously helping with the friction you needed. You moaned without a care in the world. Your mind was full of San and only San. He pulled the underwear out of you, ripping the material, too bothered and eager to take it out of you. To say you weren’t turned on even more by the action was a lie. The way his muscles tensed and the veins popped when he pulled the fabric apart made you weak on the knees, imagining what he could do to you.

San went back to his position, hoisting your legs on his shoulders and finally touching his mouth straight on your slit. Your moan and his satisfied groan synced, your legs tried to close around his head but he held them open as he kept slurping at your wet vulva.

His mouth was definitely skilled, he knew just the right amount of pressure to put, where to tease. You were seeing stars with the way his mouth was devouring you. His tongue moved up and down from your clit to your hole, sucking and licking the engorged nub and prodding your entrance with his tip.

You were a moaning and writhing mess under him, hands not knowing where to go, if they pulled the sheets or his hair, if they intertwined your fingers with his or held your boobs. All you knew was that you never felt anything like that before. It was like San was a conductor and you were his sheet music. He knew all your notes.

But it wasn’t enough, not for him or for you, so he added his fingers to the game, wetting them on his lips and then your juices before slowly entering them inside you. Your walls hugged his big digits tight, and San felt his dick twitching imagining how it would feel around him.

“S-Sannie…” his name, mixed with your moans, was almost a mantra. Leaving your lips without even noticing.

“What is it, baby? Hm? Tell me. I can’t read your mind” he mocked and gave your clit a tiny gentle bite that almost made you cum, hips going up against his face. “Even tho’ I have a little idea of what there is inside of there”

“P-please… just… fuck! I need you, Sannie” he left his spot and hovered over you, face to face with you.

He kissed you and you could taste yourself on his lips, the bittersweetness of it was invading your senses alongside the musky scent of his sweat. If someone asked you what sex smelled like you’d say it was this.

“I really wanted to tease you right now but I am as needy as you so I’ll leave that for another time” he said while he left his spot on top of you to take his clothes off and just then you realized he was still fully clothed. “My dick will burst at any minute if I keep waiting”

“Then shut up just fuck me” you said before you could think properly, earning a chuckle from the man.

He positioned himself on top of you again, grabbed his cock and rubbed along your vulva, collecting as much of your wetness to help him in. He positioned the head on your hole and slowly pushed in, entering you.

You closed your eyes and opened your mouth, no sound leaving. You’ve dreamed and imagined of this moment your entire life. And now it was happening. You had San back into your life. He was real and alive and right there on top of you, taking his time not to hurt you.

San was not only taking his time not to hurt but not to cum right then and there. He also had dreamed for so long of fucking you that your warm walls hugging and welcoming him just like he was meant to be there were like a gunshot. Quick and sharp.

His hips were starting to go erratic within a short time. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer and he wanted to make sure you were going to cum as well, so he snaked his hand between your bodies and started to draw circle eights with the tip of his fingers on your clit, finding the bundle of nerves quite easily.

“Sannie…” you moaned his name, voice coming out way higher than usual, whining.

“Com’on baby, cum for me” San whispered on top of you, his own pleasure getting the best of him. “Fuck, yn! You’re so tight. I’m close too” he increased his speed, hips pistoning in an erratic manner, pleasure taking the best of you both.

“‘M coming” you managed to say before cumming around his cock. Squelching lewd noises of your juices wetting you even more filling up the room as he kept his movements.

It didn’t take much longer for him to cum too, pulling his dick from you and milking all over your belly, some of the gooey liquid falling on your chest.

San took some time to regain his breathing and cleaned you the best he could with some clean cloth he found in the bathroom of the room. He helped you to put back your underwear and put on his shirt, and laid with you on the bed. Your head resting on top of his chest and fingertips playing with his own.

“ I can’t believe this is all real” you broke the silence, taking a deep breath in and taking in his sweaty musky scent.

“Me neither” he confessed, eyes focused on the ceiling, thinking about so many things but at the same time only about you. “I don’t want to risk losing you. I can’t lose you”.

You turned your face to look at him, pulling his head down to focus on you. His eyes glassy, watery. He was allowing himself to be vulnerable in so many years.

“You won’t lose me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere” you caressed his face and he closed his eyes to enjoy the touch. “I’m all yours now. Forever”

“Forever” he kissed you one last time before falling asleep with you in his arms for the first day for the rest of your lives.

Masterlist | Requests and feedback

[haee-elia]

1x01 - extreme aggressor

pairing: dr. spencer reid x fem!reader (mentions of sister, no name listed)

summary: takes place in season 1 episode 1; extreme aggressor, reader is main victim’s older sister, mostly if not all 2nd POV (part two here)

warnings: mentions of kidnapping, potential harm, grief, sorrow, death, and murder. no mentions of gore, explicit language or depictions. ONLY VERY LIGHT FLUFF 

word count: +1400

a/n: this is the first one shot; one episode where i write a one shot for every episode of criminal minds, be sure to check out the premise here. anyway, this is very very light fluff with just some light crushing (if you squint) on either side and i may do a potential part two with some flirting but this (having your sister kidnapped) did not seem like the setting to do so? lol

You walked into your sister’s, Heather, apartment, quickly putting the key in your hand away once you realize the door isn’t locked. Shoving the key back down into your satchel bag at your hip whilst shoving the door open, you quickly spot your older brother, David.

“Oh my god, David,” You sigh in relief, seeing your older brother. The tension built up from the past few days melting away once you see him. You close the distance between the two of you and wrap your arms around him for comfort, of him and you. You also feel Heather’s golden retriever, Sandy, nose at your leg, whining for some attention.

He pets your head, lovingly, “It’s okay, it’s gonna all be okay.” He says.

Then there’s a clearing of a throat and you realize that there’s two other people in the room with you. Both standing in the middle-ish of Heather’s living room, out of place. You pet at Sandy’s head and ears, soothingly while inspecting the two men that you don’t recognize. Both have dark hair, but the two men are dressed very differently.

The younger of the two is standing akwardingly, obviously from the moment you and your brother are taking together. His hair is short enough not to touch his shoulders, but long enough to be pushed back behind his ears. He’s a lanky man and his clothes almost seem to drown his figure.

The older man has a more serious demeanor and he’s wearing a suit and a gray trench coat over it. Something you would assume to be worn in a more professional setting. Before you can question much about the two men, your brother pulls you back to reality.

“This is my younger sister,” He introduces, then turns to you, “This is Special Agents, uh, Hotchner and, uh, Reid.”

The two men nod at you in acknowledgement and take out their wallet-sized badges from their pockets.

“Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. This is my colleague, SSA Dr. Reid,” The suit-wearing man, Agent Hotchner, formally introduces.

“You must be Heather’s sister,” He deduces.

You nod your head, trying not to get teary eyed with the mention of your slightly younger sister, “Yeah, um, Heather’s less than a year younger than me. We’ve always been really close.” You reminisce.

“Do you mind answering a few questions with your brother, here, while we look around a little bit. To learn more about Heather.” He explains.

You look to David and both of you share a look, you nod and the two men rifle through some papers laid, strewn around the multiple surfaces. You can tell Sandy doesn’t like the two agents going through the house and looking at different papers, but David holds onto her collar to make her stay put.

“When was the last time you both talked to Heather?” Dr. Reid asks.

David goes first, “It had been a few days, I live out of town and work a busy job. We call when we catch each other. I’m off at night, but Heather usually goes out with friends after work.”

“We were gonna meet for lunch the day she disappeared. I had called her that morning to make sure we were both on to meet, but then before lunchtime, she emailed me that she had to cancel.” You answer.

Agent Hotchner turned around from inspecting Heather’s bookshelf and looked at you, “Do you know why she canceled?”

You shook your head, “No idea, the message just said that something had come up and that she might have something to show me.”

“Something to show you?”

You shrug, “I don’t know what she meant. I’ve been racking my brain for the past few days wondering what she meant but I can’t think of anything.”

“Does your sister own a car?” You whip your head over your shoulder and look at Agent Reid. He’s pulled back some of your sister’s mail, staring at something.

You furrow your eyebrows and start to make your way over to him, to see what he’s looking at, “No, she doesn’t. I try to give her a ride, but other times she takes the bus or rides with a co-worker.”

You see what he’s looking at, a magazine displaying Datsun Z’s. You point at it, “But she was in the market for one of these. I remember telling her that the color was weird, but she was sure she wanted a orange Datsun Z.”

Sandy rips out of David’s hand and starts whipping around. David mumbles a sorry and tells you that he’s gonna get her outside and try to calm her down.

The two agents now have their backs turned to face you and appear to be discussing something. Something not for your ears.

“Is this gonna help you find her?” You ask, crossing your arms over across your body, “Do you just suddenly know who took her?”

The older agent opens his mouth to answer you, but his cellphone rings and he excuses himself, nodding to Agent Reid to talk to you.

“While we still don’t know who took her, this will certainly helps us narrow down the pool,” He starts talking, gesturing with his hands along with it, “We know how the unsub, the person who took your sister, lured your sister into a false sense of security and probably how he lured all his other victims.”

You give him a small grin, “I, uh, couldn’t watch the news.” Given his puzzled look, you explain further, “The news, the radio. I can’t listen to what he’s done to the other women he’s taken. ‘Cause I know he’s probably doing those things to my sister. She’s alive, right?” You ask him.

Before he answers, you scoff, “God, I don’t know why I asked that,” You chuckle lightly, “I know you can’t really answer that right? You can’t assure me that she’s alive or dead or anything.” You bring up your arm and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. Not wanting to cry in front of the special agent.

He looks at you sympathetically, “You’re right. I can’t promise you that she’s alive.” He reaches across to the coffee table and grabs you a tissue from the box, handing it to you, “But I can tell you that the man who took your sister hasn’t strayed from his usual schedule. He doesn’t know that we are onto him and that bodes well for your sister. She’s likely alive, wherever he has kept all the other victims, and when we hopefully do find her, she’ll want you and your brother’s comfort.”

You gratefully take the tissue and dab at the corners of your eyes, “Thanks,” You reply, “It’s been a really emotional few days as you could expect. You’re words mean a lot, but I’m sure you talk to a lot of sad people in your line of work.”

Dr. Reid cracks a small grin and almost seems to chuckle when you respond, “I’m, uh, not usually good at comforting other people. Or talking to others, for that matter.”

You return the smile, “Well,” You start, “You seem great at it to me.”

Before he can respond, the other agent, Agent Hotchner, sticks his head into the apartment and motions to the tall, lanky man who you were conversing with, “Reid, we’ve got a lead to follow. We’re gonna meet up with the rest of the team.”

Dr. Reid nods and Agent Hotchner leaves once again, leaving the both of you standing alone. He glances back at you while collecting his personal belongings, “We’ll, uh, be in touch. Be sure to check in with a member of my team or anyone at the Seattle office.”

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a small card, a business card, “This is my card with contact information and, uh, let me know if you need anything. Really, anything.” He smiles down at you and moves to leave.

You give a small wave as you see him to the door and watch him stumble towards the large FBI SUV that you assume they arrived in. You watch the car move out of the parking lot and realize your brother has returned from outside with Sandy.

“Was that the FBI leaving?” Your brother asks.

You nod, knowing he can see you, “Yeah, it was,” You say staring down at the small card in your hands, noting the name of the man who gently comforted you.

Dr. Spencer Reid.

You fondly smile as you think that Spencer quite suits him well.

part two here

[storybycorey]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

Thank you I was tagged by @frogsmulder, Thank youuuu! 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82 holy cow!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

258,068

3. What fandoms do you write for?

XFiles, then I also wrote one for The Fall

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Stay

Beyond the Strokes of a Typewriter

The Fox Mulder Phonetic Alphabet

The Today Series

Inevitable Things

5. Do you respond to comments?

Gosh I used to respond to every one, but it just got to be too difficult, and I got out of the habit. I still feel guilty about it. Now, if I get a really nice one on AO3, I'll respond though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think the last fic I wrote (Birthday Party) was probably the angstiest, both in ending and throughout, but I could be forgetting some along the way!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh geez, most of them have happy endings, as a great majority of what I write is smut! Maybe It's a Brand New Day, since the timeline on that is current (baby #2), and it paints a positive picture of their future going forward.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't remember that I ever have, so I count myself lucky!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Does Mulder like sunflower seeds? Does Scully have Daddy issues? YES, I definitely write smut, almost exclusively. But it comes in all forms- sometimes dirty, sometimes angsty, sometimes fluffy, sometimes humorous, etc. etc. I write it in all forms.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, and I honestly don't really enjoy reading them either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, knock on wood.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I do seem to remember someone asking permission to translate a couple fics of mine a long time ago.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Meg (@msrafterdark) and I started with the thought of cowriting a fic about different points of the relationship where Mulder has spanked Scully, but we never really got it off the ground lol. Though I did release a portion that I wrote here.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh, I started a fic many months ago about the two of them trapped in a closet together, but my interest in it has kind of fizzled out. So I don't know if I will finish it or not. Sigh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write poetically and do beautiful things with words, and that makes me happy!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a sloooowwwww writer. Which means I don't do well with involved plots, etc, because then I'd never finish anything!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never done it and don't expect I will in the future.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Formally, the XFiles, although I wrote out little scenarios for Scarecrow & Mrs. King, Moonlighting, and I think Cheers when I was a teenager.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I never have a great answer for this, because they're all my babies!

I love my When the Lights Are Off series, love Once Upon a Time in a Basement, Inevitable Things, Stay... I don't know, I can't decide!

[cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut]

Getting to know each other!

Thanks to @carlos-in-glasses for the tag! This looks like fun!

APPEARANCE: i’m under 5’5” (5'3" in fact. Smol boy) // i wear glasses/contacts// i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing// i have one or more piercings (right ear pierced. Fun fact I once supported a young man to a swimming pool without taking my earring out, and as we climbed the stairs to one of the slides he looked at me in complete and sudden horror and said "Oh my god your other earring must have fallen out in the water!" I had seen this man almost every day for multiple years and this is how he learned I only have the one piercing) // i have at least one tattoo (five!)// i have blue eyes// i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look (it wavers but I work actively on this tbh)// i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards (oh how i WISH I had the face shape for baseball hats)

HOBBIES AND TALENTS: i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition (won a short story contest once!)// i can cook or bake without a recipe (yeah but the dishes I make don't technically exist/have formal names so idk, it's all about luck)// i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows// i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing (I will not sing in front of people but privately I love it. My dad once overheard me singing at 14 and told me I was good but I simply remain scarred by the memory of being overheard fifteen years ago...) // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP: i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friends i have known for ten years (twenty years this year!) // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child (I mean I'm technically not but that's a story only few will be told) // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online (love you guys, Paris forever lol)

AESTHETICS: i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside (I haven't done this for a while but I used to do it all the time, maybe I should do it again) // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season 🍂

MISCELLANEOUS: i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend// i live by a certain quote (it changes, but I like to have one on the go) // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities //i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift (failed four driving tests in a manual lol) // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

This was fun! Tagging @lemonlyman-dotcom, @dreamingofmickeywaffles @velvet-ink and @reasonandfaithinharmony if you haven't played and would like to.

[xbuster]

These are the most correct people on that post. Like with almost every culture ever, the average Japanese citizen loves it when foreigners show even the slightest interest in their culture or language.

I went to Japan when I was like... 13 years old? I knew very little of the language, just the basic stuff. I had a really good meal at a small okonomiyaki shop and I wanted to show my appreciation, but didn’t know what to say. I looked up how to thank the chef for the meal and gave a really awkward “Thank you for the delicious food” and he loved it. You wouldn’t think foreigners coming to your country are cringey for trying to appreciate and learn about your culture and trying to communicate with you in an awkward version of your native tongue. At least you shouldn’t. That would be very shitty of you.

Besides, I’m formally learning Japanese right now and my Japanese instructors always ask at some point if I like anime and ask me about it when I tell them “Yes.” They don’t look down on me for it lol. I have a t-shirt of the Great Wave off Kanagawa in the shape of Godzilla and I recently noticed a sushi restaurant in my town that’s run by a Japanese family has a scroll in the building with the same print. Japanese people also find shit like this cool (because they’re also human beings... obviously), so wear your sick anime shirts in Japan. You might even get a compliment.

[dreamstormdragon]

Mila OVERHAUL

So, as I started writing the story for Mila, her... original model/design just didn’t suit her anymore. As her character developed and changed, so did how I felt like she could be presented. 

So, a compilation of her looks above, from her work duds, to her date outfit, to her “Queen of the Dark Ages” attire to her casuals.

Mila was originally going to be a lot more “chill” honestly. She was supposed to be the cool voice of reason, a pseudo therapist of sorts...

And then I realized, as me and Aileen rewatched the series, that was gonna go out the window FAST. Then it was she’s not involved in TOO many of the shenanigans...

Then I started writing the story and she basically grabbed the steering wheel and rammed it into the foot of the robot, because she was driving now and there was no going back. 

Mila at the start of her story, makes it VERY CLEAR, where her line is...

“You can train him... BUT YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME TOO!” As she gives NO F’s, absolutely none. She will respect the Hyper Force but she is also there to make sure no one forgets Chiro is still thirteen years old.

She’s a fiery young woman, with a passion for plants, flower language and wanting to do her best... but she’s also oh so stressed out, all the time. Her brother is everything to her and she tends to prioritize his happiness over her own, every single time. Even if it’s to her detriment.

As I’m finishing the first arc of the story, I’m excited to tell, I began to think...

“She needs a revamp.”

So...

It was time for a massive overhaul. 

Behold the redone Mila Hanamura!!!

Mila grew up a goth teen and she never quite lost her passion for the look, she just dresses a little more casual. “Casual Goth” as she calls it. She has multiple piercings in her left ear, she loves her, her fishnet gloves and combat boots. Though, if you ask her, she’s calmer than she was as a teenager.

Her revised work attire.

Not much has really changed, in terms of the outfit, except adding her piercings and her green nails of course. This is generally what she’s wearing when she’s working at her store, Hanamura’s Botanicals, a store that specializes in plants exclusively from Earth, cultivated using techniques her parents developed.

And then you have the side, no one really expected out of her and honestly, I was happy I got to keep this as part her characterization.

Mila originally had a band in her late teens and early 20′s, called Cosmic Void, they were a symphonic metal cover band, for the most part, as Mila grew up on Earth a huuuge fan of many artists and pop culture from there. When the family migrated to Shuggazoom, she kept her love of metal through and through and started her own band. However, eventually these dreams were pushed aside for something, she felt was far more important.

She had a love and a talent for it she nurtured but now she only sings for herself in private, or to her brother. She doesn’t play in a band anymore, so these clothes are brought out now as formal wear, as outside of yukata, it’s the only nice outfit she owns.

It also brings back a lot of nice memories for her.

And of course, what’s Mila Hanamura, without her Queen of the Dark Ages attire? This, will not change, no matter what. It’s just gotten worse. During Evil Ages, she’s whisked away to a world of knights and magic, almost as if it’s some kind of otome game...

But as a former teen nerd, she’s very good at playing her part well.

“Ara, ara... It’s almost like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I also redid her expressions, to be far more expressive than they were before. My favorite are “Angry” and “Surprised” as these tend to be her two moods, the fastest in story lol.

Namely because “Angry” is almost always followed by:

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! ARE YOU CRAZY!?”

Or...

“CHIRO!!!!!”

She swore, she used to be a lot calmer, before the whole “Waking up the ancient robotic monkeys from their slumber” incident. Her stress levels have not been kind to this girl.

“Chiro, you are so lucky, you are such a good kid. Does the team KNOW how lucky they have it?”

“Sis, did you look at the old pictures of your goth days again? Like the extreme goth?”

“I just remembered the time, I skipped town to go to a concert and made our parents worry. Oh I was TROUBLE.”

“So I’m told!”

And all together, to show how many sides this girl has to her.

Goodness, gracious it’s been wonderful to be back writing for SRMTHFG again, I’ve missed it a lot. It’s been so much fun developing this story and reimagining a story, that’s near and dear to my heart, to also include some new stories within it. I’m excited to share more of Mila and her bond with her brother and the other members of the team in due time.

[yo9urt]

more japanese pmd talk! FYI from now on i will be tagging these as #pokemon fushigi no diary

EXTREMELY LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

played through chapters 2 & 3 today (AKA i finished the drowzee stuff and then stopped), which means i got to meet a TON of new characters and read into their speaking styles as i hoped i would!

observations:

CHATOT uses わたし for himself and おまえ for the apprentices. i'll probably puzzle over this for a while longer but my intuition says it makes sense - he can use おまえ since he's super high in the chain of command, and he WOULD use it because he's a guy, but he would also self-refer as わたし because it's a bit more formal and coming from him it almost sounds kind of puffed up to me? not sure though. he also ends a lot of sentences/utterances with さ(あ) and the occasional ぞ; in general his speech feels very rhythmic, not just because he literally has music notes in his text boxes and his head is a music note but i think maybe he has a lot of long vowels too? i also noticed he was pretty informal with the apprentices BUT pretty much every time i looked up something he said to wigglytuff, it was labeled as polite language, which also makes sense

WIGGLYTUFF, interestingly, used きみたち for the main characters (i'm highlighting all the uses of きみ that i find bc i think this pronoun is very underexplained but i hear it a LOOOOOOT especially in music so i'm really curious about it). and ぼく for self (makes sense)

(speaking of きみ, MC calls azurill きみ in his mind - informal male language?)

LOUDRED talks how you expect him to, but even louder than his english counterpart. uses おれ, uses -ら for plurals instead of たち (one of very few characters to do so so far), and most notably (to me), uses the ろ imperative form of commands instead of doing the て-form!

BIDOOF was the star of the show. he ALSO called the MCs きみたち, as well as こうはい/called himself a せんぱい (very cute - i remember in the english version he goes "i was the last to join before you guys...i've never had anyone junior to me before...oh, my!!" and now i see where that was really coming from/what it really meant lol). in the english version i remember they also gave him almost a bit of a country accent - whatever accent he has must be the equivalent of the FASCINATING language he was using. he called himself あっし, a pronoun i've never heard before and that jisho says is "mainly used by working men," and ended almost every sentence with �� ゲス, which jisho says is an archaic and very polite "to be." i would guess that あっし is referencing 1. his lower status in the guild and how hard he works as an apprentice & 2. his country boy background (as we see in the special episode). the で ゲス, though, i have no idea - maybe that's also considered a country thing? maybe he's just being really polite so people will respect him more as he works his way up?

CORPHISH was fun too, for the few sentences i heard from him; he masculinely ends his sentences with ぜ and uses another pronoun i didn't know about: おいら!

SUNFLORA, unlike everyone else on the planet, does not call the MCs きみたち nor おまえたち (i'm noticing a continuing lack of あなた usage); she calls them "name-さん" and also uses です instead of...the various words the other characters use. i guess this makes sense, i remember hearing that women are expected to be a little politer than men in japanese & i've noticed that "informal language" and "masculine language" often go hand in hand in dictionaries

CROAGUNK uses ANOTHER new pronoun: わし, which is apparently used by old men (him being old was completely new to me, i don't know if that was ever expressed in english). i also noticed he said "わしのな" for "my name" rather than using "なまえ" like everyone else was

MURKROW (town npc) ended all her sentences with ザマス which is another archaic "to be" (i imagine a native speaker can hear all of these in accents and understand what they mean in ways i can't)

THE KECLEONS used a boatload of shop language and polite words, as well as singsongy lengthened vowels, and they even used the に that means "and" which i just recently learned about so i was pleasantly surprised to run into it so soon!

KANGASKHAN, most cutely, referred to herself as おばちゃん and had a very obachan speaking style in general, from what i could tell. this is one thing that i think definitely came through in english, i've been playing this game since i was like 6 and for all 16 years i've had a little bit of that comfortable auntie association with her, just from how she talks and how sweet she is to the MCs (i always think of when you come back from the expedition and she says "oh, my dears! you have a new lean, mean look about you!" ahh she's so endearing)

MAGNEZONE spoke entirely in katakana which was a wonderful and sensible artistic touch, albeit much slower to read

i got to do a little bit of artistry myself: i had to pick the team's name! as previously mentioned, i customized the game to be myself as clefairy(/clefable) and my partner as gastly(/gengar) because they just kind of go together, and that was the right decision because i got to come up with thematically appropriate names! i was deliberating over things they have in common (mountains, moon, night, hiding, being kind of weird but also cute, etc.) and in the end it came down to:

月夜 (つきよ） (moonlit night)

夜山 (よるやま） (not a real word, just "night mountain")

しんと笑 (しんとわら） / shintokara (しんとから） (しんと = onomato for '(dead) silent', わら from '笑う' which means 'to laugh' and から from 'カラカラ' which is onomato for 'laugh loudly'); these 2 were because i really love the onomato system in japanese and its undoubtedly immense creative potential and i really wanted to play with it a bit myself! it was very close but in the end i went with シントワラ, "silent laugh(ter)" - 'silent' referring to how clefable has very sensitive hearing and prefers quiet spaces, and 'laugh' referring to gengar's evil laugh/big evil smile and general goofiness. i think it's a really good name for the team :) i also chose to put it in katakana (even though i like hiragana better in general) because i think it fits with MC being from another world + partner being a little bit of an outcast early in the story + it looks really good with how シント kind of slopes down and ワラ are like the big and small versions of each other, almost.

(speaking of other worlds, clefairy is a strangely perfect MC: quiet so won't talk, literally from space like the MC is from human world, has a bizarre unexplained power, etc. also its sprite and portraits are so cute it's almost nauseating. in a good way)

one other thing: in a previous post i mentioned that i'd noticed no one was suffixing anyone's name and i was curious about that. well, sunflora DOES use さん for the MCs, chimecho (also a girl, which i think plays a role) was either using さん or さま to talk to the guild as a group, and everyone calls wigglytuff おやかたさま (makes sense). other than that it's actually a fair mix of pronouns and names so far. i'll be chewing on this for a while too, i'm sure :)

SENTENCES I WAS PROUD OF TODAY (BUNCHES THIS TIME!! i even forgot to screenshot a couple!):

まあ この なかから よわそうなヤツ を えらんで こらしめてくれ = "alright, i'll pick some weak-looking fellow for you to punish from this board" (lit. "(maa), this center* from weak-seems-guy OBJ choose-CONN punish-CONN-give.down")

*i can't think of what else なか could be here but chatot was using it to refer to the outlaw job board - unusual use, or am i just underexposed/misunderstanding?

きみたち が ここ に くるまえ は じぶん が いちばん の しんいり だった で ゲス よ... = "before you two came here, i was the most recent apprentice..." (lit. "you-plural SBJ here TARGET come-before TOPIC self SBJ number-one CLASS apprentice copula-PST (で ゲス) NEW.INFO...")

へい! おまえたち! この あいだ ギルド に はいった しんいり じゃねえ か! = "hey! you guys! you're the new apprentices that just joined the guild, aren't you?" (lit. "hey! you-plural! this interval(of time) guild TARGET enter-PST apprentice (じゃねえ) QUESTION!")

あたらしい どうぐ が はいる の わ つぎ の ひ に なります = "new items will come in the next day" (lit. "new item SBJ enter-NPST THING TOPIC next CLASS day TARGET (なります*)")

*i'm not glossing なります because this is polite language and i CBA to figure out exactly what it's doing i just know what it means lol

**speaking of the gloss i want to clarify even though i have a linguistics degree i am NOT doing formal proper glossing this is more of a shorthand personal style which is also why i keep labeling things differently (especially の - i gloss it differently based on how i interpret its role in the given sentence, in whatever way makes the most sense to me)

おおっ! それ は それ は! ささっ ゆっくり ごらん ください~ = "ohh! yes, yes! please browse our many items at your leisure!" (lit. "ohh! that TOPIC that TOPIC! various leisurely look please!")

きみたち みたいな おさない こ が こまってる の を みたら ほっとけない です よ = "if i see little kids like you in a tough situation, i can't just do nothing!" (lit. "you-plural like-NOM? very-little/young kids SBJ troubled-state-exists NOM OBJ see-COND neglect-NEG copula.polite NEW") (fascinating use of の and な, i didn't know you could put な on the end of みたい?)

エデン は たぶん つかれてるんじゃ　ないかなあ= "eden, i wonder, maybe you aren't just tired?" (~lit. "eden TOPIC maybe/probably tired-state-exists not-question-な")

closing thoughts for the day

man i must've played for like 5 hours. maybe 4, or maybe 5. anyway, today really hammered in the value of immersion for me; in the beginning i was like "ohhh godddd more fucking words this is so haaaarrrdddd i should just muscle memory through the whole game i'm tiredddd" but after a little while i almost got into a sort of flow state where i was like "ah...i see...yes...that word...mhm..." and everything just kind of started to make sense. (towards the end i fell out of that state because i was so tired lol but it was fun while it lasted)

i did get boatloads of new vocab today but in particular i felt like my grasp of structures is becoming stronger. don't get me wrong, i am a HUGE NERD and i love learning about structure (remember, linguistics degree) and grammar and it definitely massively helps my learning, but i think it's also important to remember even for structure nerds like me that exposure is important. the more i played, the more i read, and the more i read, the more i found myself grasping sentence structures that i've had trouble with before (the こまってる の を みたら sentence above was a special moment for me because i find conditional sentences a little harder to put together so i was really happy to get it lol).

2 things in particular that i think i made a lot of progress on: こと & という / って / quotative と. i must have seen those guys a BILLION times today and with each exposure i found myself getting it more and more - i can't name an example because i didn't screenshot any of them but there were MANY times where i'd stop and stare at the text box and go "hmm...[x] という...HMMM...QUOTE...hmm...OHHHH!!!" or "X こと...the thing...the こと...of...OH!!!!!!!!!" like, omg, it's all starting to make so much more sense! anyway, today was a lot of fun, and very fulfilling :)

[flockofdoves]

do any of you have experience taking courses targeted towards heritage speakers of a language? what was it like/what was it focused on

i really want to get back into spanish and i'm debating if it would make sense at all to reach out to a professor of a spanish for heritage speakers class if i could take it.

because like. spanish is not my first language and i don't speak it fluently but when i was a child i was almost fluent because my elementary school was dual immersion spanish/english and it was the first language of a lot of my friends growing up. and now that i've had periods of my life with very little exposure to spanish its been helpful whenever i get more exposure to it again through conversation focused classes but i always feel like thats not really what i need most. my problem is that i learned it from a very young age but not quite young enough to have the grammar rules i internalized stick with me subconsciously once i wasnt regularly exposed to it anymore. so now my pronunciation and vocabulary is still rather good but my grammar has deteriorated and every advanced class i take assumes i did all the grammar first and now need to brush up on actually talking so i have no good outlets for reinternalizing the grammar with a more conscious understanding of it. and then my second problem is i talk like a 10 year old because thats when my day to day conversations using the language stopped and i dont know how to talk about like . politics or taxes lol.

but idk if a heritage class assumes you have slightly different problems than i do thatd come from having it as a first language but then not speaking it afterwards or from being totally fluent but just never having formal schooling in it and if there wouldn't be the focus on reinstilling grammar that i'm hoping for

[purplesurveys]

1734

1 - What’s your favourite type of survey to take? A survey with just a mix of random questions is always a safe choice – that's what most of them have been, anyway. Every now and then I like to enjoy categories, and to a lesser degree, themed ones.

2 - What about your least favourite? Do you ever take these anyway if you can’t find anything else? I mean, about-mes are only fun if you're new to surveys but they'll get old quickly. I don't like song shuffles either because I have a million separate playlists on Spotify, so those surveys could never capture my music taste as a whole.

3 - Do you have a favourite survey maker? How long have you been following their blog for? I have a few favorites on Bzoink but I haven't been able to catch up with any of their newer surveys because life.

4 - Do you ever get surveys from somewhere that isn’t Tumblr? What other sites do you like to use for finding surveys? I used to go on Bzoink and lift newer surveys from there over here, but 2022/2023 has kept me very busy that these days I just play catch-up with all the surveys everyone takes here. Until around 2-3 years ago I also used to go on LiveJournal but the survey tag doesn't get updated as much, so I eventually I stopped visiting.

5 - Do you like to take surveys at a particular time of day? I like taking them in the evenings before going to bed. I also reserve most of my survey-taking on weekends, but if a work day has been gross and just need an outlet to vent or whatever I will occasionally squeeze time on a weeknight.

6 - Do you have a favourite location to take surveys - eg. on your bed or in the living room? I'll take them in my room most of the time – it's quiet and peaceful here. Occasionally I'd do them on the couch in the living room or at the dining table, but it's almost always too distracting to finish one.

7 - How often would you say you took surveys? Do you go through phases of taking loads and then stopping for a while? I've been pretty consistent in the 10-11 years I've been taking surveys, tbh! I never really took a 'break' from them – they serve the same purpose as a journal, so I've never felt burned out from surveys.

The most distinct difference, if anything, about my survey-taking habits is how it surged like crazy during the pandemic. Like dude. I didn't have a job, I had just graduated, I was stuck at home – I used to do 5-6 surveys a day, EVERYDAY, for like six months.

8 - Do you like to watch TV or listen to music while you take surveys? If I have something on in the background, it has to be something I can't understand so that my brain doesn't get overstimulated lol. That said, I like having Korean-language vlogs on when taking surveys.

9 - Have you ever taken surveys with another person before? NOOOOOOOO. I prefer to keep IRLs out of my survey-taking hobby.

10 - Do people in real life know you take surveys? If not, would you be embarrassed if someone found out about your blog? Only my sister knows and that's just because I know she doesn't give a shit and I trust her to not judge me for it. I shared the blog with my now-ex at some point but that's also why I changed my user recently.

11 - Do you often have something to eat and drink next to you while you take surveys? Drink, yes. Coffee and surveys go hand-in-hand for me. Food, no. Too much of a distraction.

12 - What kind of chair or surface do you find yourself sitting on the most when you take them? The mini sofa in my room.

13 - Have you ever taken surveys at work before? I used to sneak surveys in during my internship when work would be slow; but otherwise I've never done it since getting formally employed.

14 - Do you prefer doing surveys on a laptop, a phone or another device? Laptop. Dealing with this big a body of text on a phone seems like such a headache.

15 - What kind of surveys would you like to see more of? What about less of? I mean I don't have any expectations when it comes to surveys lol. As long as I don't run out of any to take. Thank you, active survey-makers!!

16 - Have you ever discovered new bands, TV shows or anything through reading other people’s surveys? I'm sure it's happened, but I wouldn't say it's a frequent occurrence.

17 - Do you like to read other people’s answers? Are there some people whose blogs you always check? Sure, I keep up with the little circle I have on here. I'm usually too shy to comment, but I'm generally aware of the ups and downs everyone's been going through and I just kind of like...silently send my support or well wishes or condolences and whatnot.

18 - Have you ever taken a survey while drunk or high? I have taken surveys while drunk but most of the time it ends up with me being too sleepy to take the full thing and just finishing the rest the next morning.

19 - Have you ever attempted the 5,000 question survey? Did you ever finish or did you find yourself getting bored part-way through? I have actually never finished it, no. I should get my ass to take the whole thing at some point.

20 - What first got you into taking surveys? I have no clue, honestly. Maybe it's because the earliest forms of social media like Myspace and LJ would have people do the generic about-me prompts and I guess it just made me curious about more long-form surveys that could possibly exist out there. Eventually I found Bzoink and that's how this whole habit started.

21 - How old were you (roughly) when you first started taking them? I was technically 10 when I first found out about Bzoink, but didn't start keeping a blog up until I was either 13 or 14.

22 - What’s the reason behind you taking surveys? It's a journal that's able to keep a record of my life, simply put.

23 - What’s one thing that would put you off taking or finishing a survey? If the questions get too irritating, or if I'm way too stressed that not even surveys could save the day.

24 - In your opinion, what’s the ideal length for a survey? Would you not bother taking a survey if you thought it was too short or too long? Anywhere between 40 to 60 is fun enough for me, but overall it depends on my mood and how awake I feel.

25 - Do you answer questions using proper spelling and grammar? Yes.

26 - Do you prefer questions that require long answers or are you happy to take yes/no surveys? Ones that demand more substantial answers are fine but don't, like, get all philosophical or existential. That's another thing that would push me away from finishing a survey.

27 - Is there a specific style of survey that you’ve never taken before? Surveys that have you answer with a photo. I don't like those either.

28 - What kind of surveys would you like to see in the future? That could be in terms of style or category or anything, really? Again, don't really have expectations when it comes to surveys haha. I just take whatever I see that I feel are interesting enough.

29 - Have you ever shared your surveys with friends and family on social media? Nope.

30 - Do you find that time goes by quickly or slowly when you take surveys? Quickly.

[rexxdjarin]

Captain's Log: Chapter 10

Exfiltrate

Series Summary: The galaxy is in turmoil. The Republic has fallen, giving rise to the sinister reign of the totalitarian Empire, led by the insidious Emperor Palpatine. The millions of valiant clone troopers of the former Grand Army of the Republic are now blindly sworn, against their will, to protect a regime they once sought to destroy. After being saved from a terrible fate by his former-Jedi ally and close friend, Ahsoka Tano, seasoned veteran CT-7567 Clone Captain Rex remains loyal to the pillars of Democracy, freedom and truth that shaped the former Galactic Republic. We follow him now struggling to deal with the personal aftereffects of survival and finding his place in the galaxy alongside the only person he has left. You. The love of his life. [previous] [next] part of Captain's Log series post on ao3

Pairing: Captain Rex x Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns used) Word Count: 14k (I know I'm sorry lol) Series Rating: Explicit (18+ only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT) Chapter Summary: A quick in and out becomes a lot more than Rex signed up for and with a lot more drama. Surprises come at every turn and choices have to be made to ensure the survival of their crew and any of its future members. Chapter Warnings: Mature Themes, Language, Violence and Interrogation Tactics, Political References and Propaganda Mentions, References to Canon Plot, Political References, Canon Typical Violence, References to Canon Deaths

I always hated these Commander Grays.

Formal, starchy, rigid and stiff.

Nothing like the plastoid that was molded for me. That I welded, patched and rewelded probably thousands of times over the years. I could breathe, move, stretch in the old white and blue.

At least I could once.

Back when there was pride in being who I was. Back when the Republic made me feel honored to have been born as one of them. Back when being a clone was synonymous with being the Republic’s heroes.

Before the fall of everything and everyone I cared for. Everything I fought for.

Before plastoid felt like prison.

Now, the fabric felt sort of freeing in a way. I could breathe in it more than I thought I’d be able to, but I still felt the gnawing at the back of my mind that this uniform wasn't mine. I didn’t sweat in it, didn’t smell the cinders of exploding clankers between the duraweave, and didn’t see the stains from bathing it in the blood of the brothers that died in my arms.

It was a funny thing, feeling both proud of what I did in that armor, who I was in that armor and guilty to be wearing it. As if it wasn’t the uniform that marked me as just another destroyer of the life the galaxy once knew.

Gregor felt it too. Though maybe not as strongly as I did.

As far as I knew, Gregor spent very little time fighting directly beside jedi. He may have seen or met with the occasional one from time to time. But it wasn't the same.

Because my armor wasn’t just to protect me. It was to identify my allegiance to my jedi.

Blue for the General’s saber color.

And if you had the General around you almost always had General Kenobi too. I was almost as much his Captain as I was Anakin’s.

And then came Ahsoka too. My Commander, the only one I was okay with giving that title to, my, well not-really-so-little, sister.

Most clones were lucky to have even one jedi General.

I had three.

The Commander grays didn’t suit me because I wasn’t the Commander that strategized from a cruiser above the planet’s surface.

I was the Captain that dirtied, scuffed, scratched my armor fighting beside them.

None of the shinies on this ship would ever know what that was like. The privilege it was to know them all like I did.

So this piece of shit uniform rubbed and chafed uncomfortably because it was wrong. All of it.

But a disguise is a disguise. It would all be worth it if we could find Cody.

“Place feels cold. Way colder than I remember.” Gregor scoffed from ahead of me, hands behind his back to do his best Commander impression as he walked. Knowing him for even a few weeks, it didn’t suit him at all. He was unique, adaptable, thought differently…so much like Fives with every chuckle it almost hurt.

“Space is cold, Gregor. Did living in that dust bowl for that long really make you forget that?” I asked, my eyes bouncing past every blast door to see if I might recognize a brother inside.

“Nah, medics said the explosion threw my nervous system a bit out of whack. Memory loss, nervous giggle, poor circulation. I’m kind of a mess, but I lived. That’s what it’s all about, right? This whole thing you’re doing with her?” He asked, turning to me and quirking an eyebrow at me exactly how Jesse used to.

I felt a pang in my chest that I’d rather have kept shoved down as deep as I could. It was bad enough to see them whenever I looked at my own face, but even worse to see their exact personality traits present in a brother they’d never even known.

I could feel my brows furrowing as I got lost deeper in thought, Gregor shrugging apologetically in response. “Yeah… something like that.” I grumbled, looking off in the distance at an open hangar at the end of the hall. A group of brothers were amassing before a small podium. Strange. Not usually Tarkin’s style.

Gregor held out his arm, keeping us both from moving toward the men at the end of the hall “I know you see them in me, Rex. I know.”

I turned, expecting to glare at him but found myself biting down on my bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay. Now was not the time. We were pushing our luck as it is.

“I’ll tell you all about them some other time. She’ll want to be there too.” I said, so clearly seeing the fire ignite in her eyes as she passionately talked about her love for each and every one of my brothers, my family.

“Okay. And I definitely want to know what you ever did to deserve her.” Gregor giggled, motioning for us to keep walking.

The men at the end of the hallway were all wearing grays too. Whatever meeting or briefing this was required the highest of formalities. There were more than just clones in the hangar. Naval officers and higher up governors or something filled the room too. Very strange. I couldn’t remember ever having a meeting like this that wasn’t with Jedi present. I suppose maybe regional governors had taken their place. Though, we clones know they never could measure up.

“Gregor, when we get in there…look around for Cody. You remember the scar right? Only way we’ll be able to identify him now.” I whispered as we entered the old ship hangar, lining up against the wall with some other lower level, newly promoted clone commanders.

A high level governor ascended the podium, quieting the clones in the room instantly. He started explaining a training regiment that every accepted clone commander in the room was to be entered into for the next phase of indoctrination into the Empire. Something called Project War Mantle. The longer they spoke and discussed training, the more time I had to study the face of every brother in the room.

Once upon a time, the Jedi encouraged us to differentiate ourselves. To be our own version of ourselves. Being unique was important to the jedi, who valued our lives and our importance as individuals. That meant we were free to change our look however we pleased. Haircuts, tattoos, colors…in some cases unique mods or defects. Whatever we liked really.

That’s not at all what the men in the room looked like now. Everyone was uniform. Commander grays, standing shoulder to shoulder in even lines, no painted armor, and absolutely no clones with any unique markings or tattoos among us. Injuries or modifications didn’t seem to be an issue as several men had prosthetics and were still chosen to be among the elite group standing here.

But no Cody. No matter how closely I stared, none of them were Cody. I saw the faces of men I thought I recognized vaguely, scars or healed cuts in places I could remember some of my men having. I even swore I saw someone who reminded me a lot of Dogma among the crowd, but the lack of face tattoo meant it couldn’t be him. Unless they’d figured out how to wipe those off during reconditioning.

Gregor and I communicated through a series of morse code taps to our thighs. Yet neither of us signaled to the other that we’d seen Cody. The whole meeting was nefarious as hell and when it finally ended, the men broke off into organized groups toward what I assume were barracks on board. The only people left in the room were clones talking to their superior Governors and one lone brother by a separate crate on the hangar outskirts, carefully hiding one half of his face in shadow.

I motioned for Gregor to follow me in that direction but was stopped in my tracks by another sterilized version of a brother I didn’t know. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Trooper?” He asked, stepping forward. His eyes were completely glazed over and lifeless, like he had just been switched on and sent directly into duty without any thought behind him.

“Yes, Sir. Our orders are to wait for a transport here, Sir.” I stated dryly, trying my best to fit the lingo they were using. Gregor nodded and stood up straight, going along with the act.

“A transport? You two are supposed to join the others to meet CT-9904 in the training center.” The trooper said, still suspicious of us clearly not following direct orders.

The clone behind us was slowly slinking away from us down the corridor and out of our sight. Whoever it was didn’t seem to want to be found either. Great. We just became someone else's escape plan.

“We’ll head that way then. When the transport arrives, they’ll straighten this out.” Gregor intervened, removing his hat and nodding. The Trooper dismissed us with a curt nod and rolled his eyes, walking off toward the hallway we just came from.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I hissed quietly, following Gregor as we headed toward the training facility. “And why is Crosshair training clones for the Empire?”

“Crosshair?” Gregor questioned, “The last member of Clone Force 99, right?”

“Yeah.” I scowled, “I uh- don’t think he likes me very much. Punched him square in the face once.” I rolled my eyes as Gregor grimaced. We stopped at a window that overlooked the preparation room for training. All the troopers from the hangar were lined up awaiting their turn to practice their new techniques. If I squint hard enough I could just make out Crosshair from the far side of the room, overlooking recruits as they did their run-throughs. “That’s him. Over there. And since his former squad is on the run and he’s here…safe to assume he’s loyal to the Empire.”

“Something doesn’t feel right here. Come on, we should head back. See if we can find that clone who was watching us before. Maybe that was Cody. Couldn’t really get a good look at his face.” Gregor said, turning around smack into another clone. Only this one wasn’t wearing Commander gray’s, but instead the familiar armor of an ARF trooper. Red markings hastily scraped clean from the plastoid. This wasn’t just any brother. This was one of Fox’s guys, working security on the base. The absolute last person we would want to run into. I think his name was Hound once.

“And just where do you two think you’re going?” He asked, the grizzly growl deepening his tone as he backed us into the wall. “Those uniforms don’t fit either of you…show me your CT numbers now.” He lurched forward, grabbing my wrist and sliding down the fabric clearly looking for something. I ripped it away from him, two heartbeats away from hauling off and punching him with it. “No CT labels on your wrists where they should be. You two are defectors…oh you’re both in deep shit.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Gregor charged forward and took Hound down, leaving me with enough time to take off running back toward the hangar bay. Gregor was right on my heels, the sound of Hound calling for reinforcements echoing behind him. In seconds, the empty hangar was filled with brainwashed troopers, firing at the two of us like we were an army of commando droids.

“Looks like we were wrong about finding Cody.” I remarked sarcastically, drawing my blasters and turning to fire on the run. Gregor hummed his agreement and slammed a few crates down to block their path at least a little bit.

“Forget finding him. We’re probably about to join him.” He joked nervously, watching as doors opened seconds after passing by them. Security Troopers poured out of every opening and all we could do is hope we could make it back to the Intel Center and out the drainage system fast enough.

“Think we can take them? I’ve survived worse odds...”

“Was that with or without Jedi?” Gregor quipped, pointing out the obvious.

He was right. If we were going to make it out alive, we’d need a jedi or a miracle. These days, those were the same thing. Nothing, not even the Force itself, could’ve prepared me for who appeared before us behind the next blast door.

“Hey, Rex’ika. Guess I need to save your ass again, don’t I?” Wolffe grunted with an amused and almost irritated huff. As was his way. The old grump. He always found himself barging in to clean up my messes, even when I didn’t need him to or didn’t want him to see. He thought General Skywalker was a chaotic mess and rolled his eyes at the unconventional tactics he and I were always employing.

At times his criticism was welcome. He helped me grow throughout my time at our training facility on Kamino and, as I rose up through the ranks on the battlefield, ensured I’d be placed with only the best of Jedi. Wolffe thought that meant I’d be placed with Cody under General Kenobi, but instead I was placed with General Skywalker.

He didn’t realize it at the time, but it was actually the perfect match. Skywalker was a challenge and, like I always did, I adapted and I overcame. It made me a better soldier because of it. A better leader. I learned more under the General than I ever learned on Kamino and I didn’t need any of my Commander brother’s helping hands anymore. I couldn’t even recall the last time Wolffe and I had a mission together.

But I was never more grateful to see him than I was right now.

“I’m not going to say no.” I joked, dodging red blaster bolts from my former Coruscant Guard brothers as they whizzed past our heads. Wolffe looked worse for wear. More so than usual. Usually his battle hardened, rough exterior was part of his appeal. Maker- it drove every woman on Coruscant crazy enough. But he looked in rough shape, even for him.

His beloved gray armor was trashed, scraped and meticulous paint job chipped and wearing away. Very unlike my most creative and diligent, almost to the point of insanity, brother. Wounds on his face were barely tended to, if at all, and the bags under his eyes made it seem like he hadn’t slept well in months. Though it was easy to see why. None of us slept well anymore. Maybe we never had.

“Commander Wolffe, right?” Gregor asked, tossing a haphazard bucket he found and slamming it directly into the face of one of our brothers. He turned toward where Wolffe stood shoulder to shoulder with me and howled loudly before fading off into his signature laugh. “The 104th. I’ve heard all about you, we’ve never formally met. I- uh- died, technically.”

Wolffe rolled his eyes at the mock howling and sighed in annoyance. “You’re Gregor. You’re one of Cody’s. Can tell by your maneuvers.” Wolffe shot blue stun blasts at every brother in the wave of men the Imperials were sending our way. His dual blasters popped with ferocity, not even kicking back in his palms he was so quick. Wolffe was an excellent shot before he lost his eye, but even better after it. He worked twice as hard and earned twice the kills. No Commander in the GAR could match the Wolfpack’s numbers, but especially not Wolffe’s individually.

I ducked back behind the corner of hallway we were escaping down, the detention block peaking into view again. “How much time we got?” I asked, turning over my shoulder at Gregor backing in just past the blast doors.

“Minute. Maybe less. Wolffe’s got most of ‘em down.” He replied, using one hand to fire stun blasts and the other to strip off the stolen uniform he no longer needed.

“Closing blast doors behind us. That’ll buy us some time to swing by the Intelligence Center, grab her and get us all out of here.” I explained quickly, tearing the covering off the panel on the wall and hardwiring it to begin closing. Wolffe nodded, pocketing his blasters and stepping over the doors beginning to cycle shut. With all three of us inside, I shot the panel, frying it closed completely. “That’ll hold them back for a bit. Let’s go.”

“Sorry, who else do we need to grab?” Wolffe asked, as we all broke into a sprint down the hallway toward the detention block. I remained silent, hoping it would come off as being lost in thought rather than avoiding his question. Wolffe was way too smart for that. “Rex?” He pressed again.

“Uhm- I don’t think you’re going to like my answer.” I scoffed, remembering the uncomfortable little altercation she and Wolffe had the first time they met at 79s.

Wolffe smirked, staring at me suspiciously. “Do not tell me you brought a civilian into an Imperial prison compound.” He grabbed my shoulder, stopping us in our tracks. Gregor laughed out loud from ahead of us.

“She’s way too smart to be just any old civie, Wolffe.” Gregor slowed up, moving into step with us as we made our way around the corner to the Intel Center room.

Wolffe closed his eyes and huffed, “She..?” he raised a hand to his forehead and rubbed his temple slowly. “That girl you were seeing? You brought her here? What is wrong with you?” He opened his eyes, realizing she must’ve been where I ran to after the Tribunal crash. “Has working with Skywalker really made you that reckless?”

I smirked and shook my head, holding back any retort I wanted to make in her defense. “I told you you wouldn’t like my answer, vod.” I shouldered past him, standing there staring at me like I was defective. The hallway outside the door was suspiciously quiet, even the droids that were skittering in and out before weren’t making noise anymore.

“Entire Republic fell to pieces and you’re running around with your girlfriend.” Wolffe accused, hints of anger starting to brew in his tone. I only half paid attention because as I opened the door to the Intel Center, it was completely and totally empty. I closed my eyes, my mind racing trying to remember if we had decided on a meeting point for our exit plan.

“Wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her..” I shot back, walking into the room and frantically looking around for any sign that she’d hidden some place. Panic started rising in my chest the longer I looked around with no sign of her. “Gregor…did we tell her to meet us at the entry to the sewage system?”

“Uhhh I don’t think so. Why? Think she went back there?” He responded, catching my drift and slowly realizing that I was steps away from full out panicking. Gregor rested his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to soothe me, clicking on his comm link. “Hey angel, you there?”

Nothing. Nothing but static and comm silence.

Wolffe sighed, bumping past my shoulder and toward the holotable in the center of the room. “Pull up holorecordings from the last hour.” He gruffed, quickly tapping in clearance codes he had written on the inner wrist of his armor. “Even if she’s the most capable civie in the outer rim, she’s not safe here. This was risky, even for you, Rex.”

The holotable pulled up security footage from the last hour or so in the room. We rewound it back as far as we could go and the room was empty. Until five minutes in, when there she was, extracting files onto a disc and checking over her shoulder every so often.

“Who is this? What’s your position?” A Brother’s voice rang out ominously over the comm channel.

Fuck.

I felt my stomach drop as the holorecording showed none other than Fox stunning her and slinging her over his shoulder out of the room. My fists clenched angrily and I kicked the holotable with all my might. She was in trouble. Hell we all were. I drew my blasters instantly, screwing on my helmet and tearing off down the corridor toward the detention block.

Wolffe and Gregor’s voices faded as they called out after me. Didn’t matter what they were saying. I had to go get her. Maker knows what that chip had done to Fox. What it could make him do to her. I shuddered as I ran, the blood pounding in my ears and adrenaline flooding my muscles with the strength I needed to jump into action. The way I’d done thousands of times before. The way I was bred for. To fight until my last dying breath for the good of the innocent. And if she wasn’t the perfect example of innocence and pure good then I don’t know what was.

Guns ablazing, I called for her, frantically checking the prison log for a new entry. Nothing new had been logged in since yesterday and with no response coming from any of the cells down the hall, I started to feel a sickening pit in my chest like I never had before.

Fear. Real, painful, agonizing fear. Something we were bred to never feel. Never.

Suddenly, cell doors from the center of the room slid open and three troopers stepped out after it. The familiar red paint of the former Coruscant Guard covered their original phase II armor, unchanged like the rest of the men who were chasing us around this base. I stepped forward, both my blasters raised and straining to stop my wrists from shaking.

“Get him.” A deep voice commanded from inside the cell. Three of my brothers charged at me, blasters drawn and footsteps all in perfect line with each other. Just like they were trained to do with the Separatists. Treating me like I was their enemy instead of their flesh and blood, their family, their brother. The chip rendered them mindless, heartless, soulless, charging toward me like machines instead of the men I knew they were underneath it all.

I shot stun blasts at them, but each time I fired they ducked out of my way. They knew every move I’d make before I even decided to make it. We were of the same mind always, chip or not. The three brothers whose names I didn’t recognize darted toward me, knocking into me roughly and pressing me into the guards center console behind me. My blasters flew out of my hands, kicked aside by the last man to reach us. I whirled around to the one on my right and punched him hard in the stomach. Then spun around to roundhouse kick down the brother to my left.

The last brother stood directly in front of my path, blaster drawn and pointed directly at me. Point blank range. “Freeze, traitor. Or I’ll blast you.” Wolffe and Gregor peaked around the corner, waiting back to make sure they weren’t seen and could come rescue me when the time was right. I put my hands up, crossing them behind my head and scowling at him.

“So that’s the kind of fighting they teach you at the Imperial Academy? I know Cadets trained better than that.” I scoffed, waiting for him to cuff me and toss me in the now open cell down the hall.

“You’re supposed to be dead, Little Brother.” The deep voice from before called again. The man in front of me cocked his helmet to the side and kneed me in the stomach, walking around me as I doubled over and securing my wrists with binders.

Finally, the voice revealed itself.

Out of the open cell doors walked what remained of Commander Fox. The oldest brother I knew. Completely and utterly lost to the chip. Slowly, he made his way down the hall until he stood before me. He loomed over me, shaking his head and tutting softly. I scowled menacingly at the black visor in his helmet, trying desperately to look into where I knew my brother’s eyes were.

“Such a waste…you had so much potential. The best Captain in the GAR. Thought I heard you made Commander…now look how far the mighty have fallen. Faking your own death? Betraying the Empire? Abandoning your Brothers?” He shoved me backwards, sending me falling into the guards console behind me.

I growled, “I served the Republic. The Republic your Empire used our brothers, our flesh and blood, to destroy. Using chips in our heads to command that we do whatever they tell us, to kill our Generals, our friends, to slaughter innocent lifeforms. Stealing our free will and treating us like we’re expendable. I ran to save my brothers, not leave them to die as unnamed, numbered slaves. You’re being used, controlled, even now. You’re a pawn. We all were. Fives told me before the order. And he was right. Your Emperor used you to kill Fives and hide the truth, just like he used us to execute the Jedi. You need my help, Fox. This isn’t you.”

“That’s what your little cyar’ika said too. Silly me, I thought you did this out of selfishness, out of loyalty to her. No. You did this because you didn’t comply with the order. You don’t support our Empire. You’re even more of a traitor than I thought.”

“Where is she, Fox? What have you done?”

“She’s fine. Just a little sleepy. Torture does that to a person…”

I lunged at him, trying desperately to pull out of my restraints to knock him out. One of his men held me back, pressing down on my shoulder to subdue me. “Fox…I know you. She knows you. You’re her closest friend. This isn’t you. You would never do this to her unless you were being forced.”

Fox laughed cruelly, turning his back and walking toward the cell. “Get him up. Let’s show him his little sunshine.” He turned to look over his shoulder at me struggling to get away while his men lifted me to my feet, forcing me to walk forward. Fox took me by the cuffed wrists and shoved me in front of him, his blaster to my back as we walked inside the cell.

She was there.

Slumped in the corner of the cell, her eyes closed and body shivering from cold and maker knows what else. Bruises littered her neck and arms from where the Torture Droid probed her to inject the drugs needed to extract info from her. She looked so hurt and tired and anger boiled up inside me stronger than I’d ever felt it.

“She wasn’t very cooperative. Stubborn, compassionate, headstrong…she suits you.” Fox said coldly, as if it were an insult. The hissing of his helmet being removed filled the air. The filtered sound of his voice through the vocoder changed to the smooth baritone that was nearly identical to mine. “We couldn’t get her to talk, but we might be able to get you to…” He smirked, the usual light that glimmered in his eyes completely gone and replaced by hollow blackness that rivaled the lonely emptiness of the deepest parts of unknown space.

“No use, Brother. I removed my chip. You can’t order me around. And I’d rather die than tell your Master anything.” I snarled, spitting as the bitter word master fell from my lips, desperate to make sure the taste of it on my tongue didn’t linger.

Fox’s eyes narrowed, the familiar dilating pupils and facial twitches of the chip activating reminding me that this wasn’t my brother. This wasn’t coming from his heart or his mind. As much as I wanted to lash out and pummel him to a pulp for what he was saying, I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him the way I’d need to to get away. I’d killed too many of my brothers to escape already.

“It’s not you I would torture to get you to talk, vod’ika.” Fox said with a sick smile, signaling with his hand for the probe droid in the corner to fire up again. I gulped, unable to do anything but watch as it hovered the needle closer to where she laid on the platform in the corner of the cell. “The less you cooperate, the higher the dosage she’ll get.”

My fists curled up on my thighs shook as I attempted to snap my wrists free of the binders. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t do it. Everything in me, all my training, taught me not to risk thousands of lives to save one. If I gave up what I knew, what Bail was planning to do, all the info about the chip, Ahsoka’s survival, it would be a death sentence for them and every life they ever touched in order to save them from the Empire. But what good did making the morally right choices ever do for me? For my brothers? Endless sacrifice and loss, lives cut short only for it not to matter in the end anyway. Wasn’t saving the lives of those suffering right in front of you more important? What good is fighting for a cause when you have to sacrifice lives, any lives, to do it?

All I could think about is what the General would do. Anakin, sometimes against his better judgment, would rather risk his own life to save others than let any other innocent person suffer. Anakin, who would give himself up if it meant sparing the lives of everyone else around him, including us clones. Even Ahsoka, though reckless, inexperienced and antsy the entire time I’d known her, made a choice not to inflict harm on any of our men when it wasn’t their fault they were after us. I’d have to give up what I knew. To spare the love of my life any of the suffering I’d always known, even if it meant I would take her place.

“Fine. Fine. You win. I’ll…tell you what you need to know, Fox. But you have to let her go.” I sighed, looking down at my knees instead of into the chilling depths of what should be my brother's eyes. Praying on every star above that Wolffe and Gregor had a plan to get us out of this. All I had to do was come up with lies convincing enough to buy us some time.

Fox signaled the droid to hold and stepped toward me, placing the dead weight of his hands on my shoulders. “Weak. That’s why you never made Commander.” He snarled, shoving me back on my haunches. I glared at him in annoyance. As if ranks and fucking titles matter anymore.

“Are you going to ask me any questions or…”

“How’d you remove your chip?”

“Did some research on them with Kix after we lost Fives. Was an easy enough procedure for a droid to do on any ship's medbay.”

“That violates Imperial law. You’re property of the Empire and it is against the law to tamper with your biological programming.”

“My programming? Like I’m some kind of fucking machine? Fox…listen to yourself. You’re sick. You aren’t making sense.”

“Quiet, traitor. Next question. Was your Jedi executed by you or any of your men in accordance with Order 66?”

“I wasn’t with my Jedi. General Skywalker was on special assignment to rescue the Chancellor at the time I was deployed.”

“We both know that’s not the Jedi you were assigned to on Mandalore. What happened to Commander Tano?”

I gulped, knowing this was the most important lie of all. I’d let Fox torture me to death before I gave up what happened to her, what she’d done for me. I owed her that much.

“Commander Tano was killed by Maul when he escaped our custody on the Tribunal.”

“Is that so? I wasn’t aware you had captured him.”

“She did. We were en route to Coruscant for his trial when the Order activated. I watched him kill her myself. He’s the reason our ship crashed. I tried pursuing him, but flying isn’t my strong suit.”

Fox hummed, his eyes darting around my face looking for any signs of lying. He wouldn’t find it because what I said was true, from a certain point of view. He arched an eyebrow, “You were always a terrible liar, Little Brother. But I’d know if you were feeding me bad intel…you’re lucky we have been tracking Maul’s movements for several rotations. Your description matches his known movements and your updated info will be very helpful in our continued search for him.”

“Great, one group of murderers going after another. Justice has been served.” I remarked sarcastically, a grumble emanating from my chest as I deepened my scowl up at him.

Fox hummed in agreement and stepped back, assessing the intel I’d just given him on a datapad he pulled from his pack. His eyes twitched as he typed, and I watched him wince in pain, the reaction far more familiar for Fox than his behavior before. He blinked a few times, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. The chip was active, but not working perfectly. I remembered how resisting it felt for me on the cruiser and he was showing signs of trying desperately to fight it like I had.

He was so close to cracking. Something had to trigger him. Jog his memory. Break through the chips programmed order to reach the real Fox somewhere inside.

“Ori’vod…do you remember what Alpha said to you about me? When the Kaminoans were deciding what to do with your defective little blonde brother? Do you remember, Fox?” I asked slowly and quietly, in the softest whisper I could muster.

Fox dropped his datapad and stood in place, his knees shaking and his bucket practically vibrating as the memory struck him deep.

Alpha taught Fox’s Commander class personally, teaching them the Mandalorian leadership and fighting skills he learned from Prime to allow them to take charge immediately. He would remember our oldest altered brother better than almost all of us, Fox being amongst one of his personal favorites.

Fox’s hands rose to his bucket and he turned back toward me, the angry scowl he’d worn only moments ago giving way to painful, tear drenched anguish that lifted his expressive brows in surprise and finally shook him to his core enough to loosen the chips hold on him.

“Mandokarla. Th-that’s what Alpha said. When you were born…all that blonde hair..the Kaminoans thought the genetic material was weakening. That there was something wrong with you.” Fox blinked away a few more twitches, biting his lip as the pain of resistance swelled behind his forehead. The way I remembered experiencing when I gave Ahsoka the few bits of intel about Fives I could before the chip sucked me under its spell.

I nodded, quieting my breathing to disguise my heart racing faster and faster in excitement. “And…what did I do? To prove to them that I was just as strong as the rest of you?” I asked, watching as his breathing steadied.

He smirked to himself, as if remembering an event he’d watched unfold with his own two eyes. “Me and the Commander class boys were about 4. They brought us in to teach us about the importance of conformity and following protocol. You and a few others with supposed defects were lined up and undergoing tests. Making sure you had the proper reaction to stimuli, at the right stage in development of your motor skills, all that. Well Alpha made us watch as all of you got picked up and tested. When he got to you, he grabbed you by your ankle to see if you knew what to do. How to right yourself or get out of it. Most of the others grabbed for the floor or sides of their chairs. But not you. You lifted yourself up, curled upwards and bit down on Alpha’s finger.”

My eyes went wide and I chuckled, thinking long and hard to see if I could remember this instance from my own eyes. I only ever recalled the story being told to me.

Fox laughed, his real laugh, the warm and amused chuckle of the sarcastic older brother I’d missed so much. “He dropped you and you stood up, staring at him with that determined scowl you’ve had on ever since. And he told the Kaminoans to let you train. Because you were Mandokarla. You had aggression, guts, tenacity and spirit. The right stuff. Instructed all of us in our Commander class to watch out for you after that. To pay special attention to the brother whose hair was so light because he had been touched by the stars.”

“Alpha honored me with my jaig eyes sigil himself. You remember, Fox. We’re family. Same heart, same blood. I want to help you. Saving you is what Fives died for. Please. Let us get you out of here.“ I begged, looking up at my brother fighting his toughest battle internally.

Fox sighed and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, as if he could physically stop the involuntary actions the chip was forcing to course through him. “I don’t-I don’t want to hurt you, Rex. But I-I..I can’t fight it. It hurts too much to resist.” He exhaled, bringing his hands to rest on my wrists bound in my lap.

His fingers ran over the signal and the binders released, falling onto the cell floor beneath me. My eyes shot up into his, hoping I could signal how grateful I was to him without giving any Imperials cause for alarm. “Fox, thank you. Now let me help you.” I reached forward but he swatted my hands away.

“Don’t touch me! I’ll hurt you. She- she tried that. Just go. Take her and go. She needs you.” He whimpered, falling to his knees before me and holding himself off the floor with an arm extended in front of him. “Go Rex! Get out! Hu-hurry.”

I backed away from him, his muscles seizing and grunting through pain as he struggled to hold himself back enough to let me escape. I scrambled to the back corner of the cell on my hands and knees and scooped her into my arms. She was still out cold, but the shaking slowly subsided as she absorbed my body heat. “Mesh’la? You’ve gotta wake up. We gotta go.” I whispered, kissing her forehead to feel if she was running a fever at all. She didn’t move even the slightest bit, the dosage of drugs she was given probably enough to knock her out cold for hours.

“She…won’t…won’t wake for another…hour. We didn’t have enough. We didn’t account for the…”

“Fox?” Wolffe’s voice rang out inside the cell. Both Fox and I spun around to see Wolffe and Gregor standing side by side with weapons drawn. “Fox…it’s me…it’s Wolffe.”

“St-stay back. Stay back! Wolffe, I thought you were dead…they said you were killed.” Fox stammered, the tears of resistance, lies and pain overflowing as his closest friend and brother stood before him at his most desperate hour.

“Takes a lot to fucking kill me, Fox.” Wolffe remarked, lifting his blaster to his ear and shrugging. He stepped down into the cell, Gregor guarding his back, as he reached his hand out to calm his brother. “Been looking for you a long time. Rex, Gregor and I…we want to help you get out of here.”

“No! Wolffe…you all- fuck- you don’t know what you’re all dealing with. He’ll…kill you…k-kill you all.”

“Who? Who, Fox? The Chancellor?” Wolffe asked, his desperate glance flicking between Fox begging on the ground to be left alone and me standing in the corner with my mesh’la unconscious and in desperate need of a medic.

“No! R-Rampart. T-Tarkin. They’re going to decide what to do with the rest of us…little sunshine’s got all the intel. On the holodisc. She’s just full of secrets today.” He laughed quickly, before gasping as a searing pain made him collapse on the floor.

“Fox!” Wolffe and I yelled, Wolffe jumping forward first to turn him over as he seized and writhed on the cell floor. The sound of his screams of pain made my heart hurt. At the piercing sound of Fox’s pain, she groaned softly, turning her head into my bicep and gripping at my chest for safety. I stared at her laying peacefully in my arms and wondered what Fox meant by secrets.

What did she know? What did she find out here?

I curled her into my chest and stepped closer to where Gregor stood waiting to cover me at the cell door. Wolffe knelt by our brother's side, trying his best to hold him steady as the screams subsided and his panting slowed.

“Wolffe…my brother…don’t let me hurt you. Go. Please.” Fox begged, gripping Wolffe’s shoulder and pulling him close. “Protect them.” He whispered, shaking in Wolffe’s grasp one final time before he quieted completely.

I felt tears I did not want to shed in front of Wolffe begin to pool up and I slid toward the door, just feet from Gregor. Fox laid there eerily quiet, probably fainted from the exhaustion of resisting the chip for even just a few minutes.

“Wolffe,” Gregor said matter of factly, “we need to go.”

Wolffe whipped around and scowled angrily at us. “I’m not going anywhere without him. I’ll carry him if I have to.” A brutal hardness glazed over his eyes. I knew that look. I felt that pain too. When I had to make that very same choice. Save Ahsoka and survive or stay with my brothers and die. I knew everything in Wolffe was screaming at him to stay by his closest brother no matter what was coming for him.

But that’s not what Fox wanted. That’s not what I wanted. That’s not what made sense. Not with everything on the line and with the truth so close to getting out with us.

“Wolffe, we won't make it. She has to get help and we have intel to pass along. I can’t disobey this order. I don’t want to fail the Republic twice.” I said, glancing down at her unconscious in my arms. “Please.”

Before Wolffe could answer, Fox groaned, shaking his head and blinking away the pain hazing his vision. Wolffe whirled around and reached out his hand, “C’mon, Fox. We gotta go.”

Fox drew his head back in disgust, that same foreign, sickly grin drawing a crooked line across his face.

“You’re not going anywhere. Traitors.”

He dove forward, taking out Wolffe at the ankles and punching him so hard in the face I swore Wolffe’s cybernetic eye spun around in place.

“Fox! No-” Wolffe howled, hauling off and wailing on his brother's ribs with both his fists. Fox and Wolffe were a pretty even match, but Fox’s history of mysterious injuries meant he had a slight disadvantage to the brute size of Wolffe. Only Wolffe didn’t want to hurt him. The tears streaming down his cheeks were evidence of that. “Snap. Out. Of. It. Fox.” He grunted, shoving Fox off of him and across the room.

Fox went sprawling backwards, catching himself against the cell wall and drawing his blaster. “I don’t…answer to that…anymore. I am CC-1010. Don’t resist or I’ll have to take you in.” He was sputtering, like his mouth was fighting his brain to get the words out. Wolffe backed up into where I stood holding her in my arms and braced himself for a fight.

He turned slowly, gritting his teeth and muttering, “Go. I’ll buy you time to get away. Get her out of here.”

Gregor stood back, looking at him in disbelief, his eyes nervously flicking down the hall toward where the sound of boots on metal floor grates were rushing toward us. “Wolffe, we can’t leave you.”

“I didn’t come here for you. I came here to rescue my brother.”

“You are. You can help Gregor and I. You can help her. Her intel could help save thousands of our brothers. But we can’t do that if you don’t leave with us right now.”

The haze over Fox’s mind was finally clearing and he steadied himself enough to reach for his comm and call for back up, sending our coordinates and a high alert out to the entire ship. “Intruders in the Detention Block. 3 Rogue Clones and a captured female dignitary. They’re armed and on the run. Shoot to neutralize and bring them in for questioning.”

Wolffe growled lowly in anger and leaped at his brother, moving to wrap his arms around his stomach. But this time Fox was ready. He slid out of Wolffe’s way and turned around to kick him square in the back, an ugly, piercing howl leaving Wolffe at the pain of the blow.

I whipped around to Gregor, my eyes wild and desperate. Without a word spoken, he understood. He stretched out his arms and took her from me, cradling her close and taking off running for the exit we initially planned. If I couldn’t get through to Wolffe, if we couldn’t get out, at least she’d be safe.

Fox and Wolffe exchanged severe blow after blow, both of them a mess of deep bruises and blood spatters. The sound of Fox’s reinforcements and blaster fire filled the air and I knew we were out of time. Whatever it was that was nagging on Wolffe was clouding his judgment and I couldn’t let that be his downfall.

I had to make a choice, join the fight with Wolffe to try and save Fox or drag us both out of here before Fox’s reinforcements came to kill us all. There was no scenario in which all three of us made it out of here alive. Unfortunately, Fox’s hostility toward us combined with the strength of his back up made the decision for me.

As Fox hauled back to strike another blow to Wolffe’s face, I jumped between them, taking the full hit of the blow so Wolffe didn’t have to. His eyes went wide as I huffed out all the air in my chest in response. With the wind knocked out of me, I scrambled to push Wolffe away toward the door. Wolffe took one look at Fox and I behind him and winced, the reality of the situation setting in. We had to go. He knew it now.

I dove forward, chasing after Wolffe in a flurry of limbs moving faster than they’d ever carried us as we took off in a sprint toward the exit. We didn’t look back, even though I could feel the familiar guilt weighing down inside telling me to do the opposite. 

Fox’s reinforcements turned the corner and started firing at us from way down the hall, Fox yelling out our identification numbers to notify his squad who they were tracking. We dodged the rings of blaster fire whizzing past us at every step until finally we made it to the drainage system exit point again.

Gregor had already made it down the tube, standing at the exit point with her still out cold in his arms. The rest of the run to our ship's hiding place was silent and solemn. Even though we saved one brother, it didn’t feel like we had made any difference. There was no rescue or solution that came without sacrifice. I should’ve gotten used to that by now. But when Wolffe entered our ship and locked himself in the bunk room with her, I knew there was no way we could ever shake that numbing feeling that we failed. We failed the Jedi, we failed the Republic, we failed the galaxy, we failed our brothers.

It wasn’t our fault. It was set up this way from the very start.

But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

–

The soft sound of engines whirring was the first sound I heard when I finally came to. I turned over, keeping my eyes slammed shut because I was too afraid of opening them and finding I was still being held hostage in that cell.

But I couldn’t be in the cell anymore. The boys came and found me. Or did I hallucinate that?

Under my fingers, I felt the familiar touch of our worn blankets and slowly began to inhale the stale musky scent of my boyfriend all around me. I was definitely laying in our bunk on our ship, a soft pillow under my head and a blanket tucked around me to keep me warm until I awoke. 

Slowly, I blinked my weary eyes open to the comforting darkness of our room, only the blinking lights of our ship's inner workings glowing to softly illuminate the otherwise pitch black space.

That’s when I heard it. It was very, very quiet. Nearly inaudible. But it came every few minutes or so. Accompanied by hitching breaths.

The heartbreaking sniffling sounds of someone desperately trying to keep their crying silent.

It couldn’t be Rex. He would’ve been lying next to me. And by now, I think Rex was as cried out as he could possibly be.

Gregor? What could he possibly be so upset about? I was okay. We survived.

I rubbed my eyes to try to accelerate the time it took for them to adjust in the darkness. Swinging my legs over the side of my bunk, I reached down slowly until I felt the familiar bite of cold metal under my bare toes. I steadied myself on my feet, remembering that I was walking for two now and couldn’t let the waning levels of drugs in my system make me fall.

I took a few deep breaths and blinked until I could just make out a form in the corner of the room, just steps from the blast doors. A big, big shadow sitting with his head in his hands and his knees curled up close to his chest. I stepped closer, squinting to see if I could make out any distinctive details, but it was hard in the dark.

At the sound of my single footstep, his head shot up and the unmistakable reflection of a white prosthetic eye now staring in my direction told me exactly who this was. Someone I never in a million years expected to be here and sobbing on our bunk room floor.

“Wolffe?” I whispered, a quiet and concerned waver coating the croaking sound of my voice I hadn’t used in probably hours.

He moved to wipe his face with his sleeve to prevent me from seeing his tears as I got closer. “Yeah. I doubt you’re happy to see me here.” He said, his deep, gruff voice booming through a space that had enjoyed silence for too long. He sniffled, tipping his head back to rest on the ship's hull and averting his gaze, like he thought I wouldn’t want to look at him at all, much less like this.

I sank to my knees beside his hulking frame and rested my hand gently on his bicep. “I’m just happy you’re alive.” I watched his scowl soften, both his eyes blinking away doubts at his realization that there were people out there who still cared about him.

“Thought you hated me.” He said, gruffly whispering as he looked up at the ceiling in the darkness. “You don’t still think I’m some kind of chauvinist asshole?” He blinked, both of his eyes shifted upwards as if trying to swallow down his tears as much as possible.

I sighed, because at one point, I did think that. Stupidly. Ignorantly. But until I met Rex all those years ago, I didn’t realize just how pointedly different every clone was to the average man. I wrongfully assumed that just because Wolffe slept around that he somehow didn’t value or care about the women he met. That’s how men usually are. It wasn’t until I talked to a few of the women he knew that I realized how wrong I was.

The women who knew Wolffe had nothing but the highest opinion of him. He spent time getting to know them, talking to them about their lives, watching out for them if he could. He never promised much of anything relationship wise, on account of his job and well everything that was expected of him. But he cared about them all a lot more than the average man would. And now that I knew so many clones intimately I felt so guilty for ever thinking he’d be anything less than the same kind of man Rex was.

Never one to swallow my pride or be quick to admit I was wrong, I vowed that if I ever had the time to talk to Wolffe again, really talk to him, I’d apologize. He deserved that much. Now here he was, shut away in the only bedroom on the ship and falling apart like Rex had when I’d found him after the order. I guess now was that time. He needed someone.

I scooted closer to him and smiled shyly, “I still think you’re an asshole, Wolffe. But no more of an asshole than I am for wrongfully thinking so little of you. I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. I promise.”

He turned to face me slowly, the slightest hint of a smirk growing just beneath the facial hair that he’d been letting grow around his jaw. “Thanks. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I lost another one of my brothers. Especially not Rex. Seems like he’s all I’ve got left now.” His face fell again, the pain evident in the wide eyed fear in his eyes.

“What do you mean, Wolffe? Rex and I…Gregor too…we’ve been trying to save your brothers. Whatever way we can. We want to help. You’ve got so many who need you.”

“No…I- not after what I’ve done.” He sniffled, pulling away to rest his chin on his crossed arms.

“C’mon, Wolffe, you can talk to Rex. He’s your little brother. He looks up to you.”

“He might not now.” Tears fell as he tried to stop his lip from quivering. “Don’t want them to see me like this.” His brown eye was red from crying, both his under eyes puffy from how upset he must’ve been for hours on end. Who knows how long he was in here.

I reached forward and placed my hand on his shoulder, leaning to rest my head on him. “What happened, Wolffe? You can tell me. I’m here to listen.”

His breathing calmed at my comforting hand on him, supporting him like he needed. He turned to look down at me, puzzled at kindness he’d never expected to receive from me. “Well darlin’…when the order happened, the 104th and I weren’t with General Plo. My Jedi General. Plo was like a father to me. To all of us, especially the Wolfpack. Nothing in a million lightyears could ever make me hurt him or any other Jedi. Not after all we’d gone through together.”

He closed his eyes and shuddered, swallowing down a lump in his throat and letting more chillingly silent tears fall. “But when the order happened…hell broke loose. Our cruiser was about ready for takeoff, heading back to Cato Neimoidia to meet up with Plo and the 442nd. The holo of the Emperor opened on my holocomm and on everyone else’s around me. Sinker and Boost stopped making sense, the radio silence on our comms exploding with questions about where the Jedi were, when we’d meet up with the General, plans and discussions of how we’d execute the order when we arrived. None of it made any sense to me. Because whatever it was about that order that had kicked in for everyone else just…didn’t for me. Whatever was forcing them to follow it…it wasn’t happening to me. I didn’t- didn’t understand.”

I thought long and hard, trying to calculate what it was about Wolffe that would’ve made the reaction different for him than everyone else. I sat up and moved around to kneel in front of him. He glared at me like I was nuts right as I reached for his face, his quick reflexes swatting me away.

“What the blazes are you doing…?” His temper rising faster than usual in his heightened emotional state.

“Wolffe…let me look…” I practically begged, lifting my hand to rest on his cheek and looking over the deep scar over his right eye. He relented and looked around awkwardly as I stared at where his cybernetic eye was placed. “How deep was this cut? Your eye…might’ve saved your life.”

He narrowed his gaze, pulling his face from my hand. “Deep enough. Fucking thing oughta do me some good for once. Think it’s why it didn’t work on me?” He questioned, his brows furrowing together as he ran his own fingertips along the length of the scar.

“It’s connected to your brain. It might’ve damaged your chip when it was added. That or the initial strike did.”

“Bet that would’ve pissed Ventress off.” He grumbled, sitting back and extending his legs out in front of me. “Doesn’t change much though. Because all my men were affected anyway. They rushed to our ships and deployed as soon as we arrived to Cato Neimoidia. Charged right through me. I-I couldn’t stop so many of them. So I did the only thing I could do, got in a fighter myself and raced to the surface. The fighting was over anyway. The General had already won. They were ending their attack run when…” He clutched his chest and closed his eyes, practically shaking as he recalled every detail like he’d experienced it moments ago.

“It’s ok Wolffe…take your time…” I urged, kneeling beside him and cleaning blood off his cheek with my sleeve. He opened his eyes again and stared through me, his face riddled with anguish and screwing up as he began to sob.

“Jag led the 442nd. He was Plo’s wingman on this mission. I watched as he shot his fighter. It spiraled out of control and crashed on the planet’s surface. Some part of me, some insane, stupid part of me thought he could survive. He could survive anything. He was a Jedi. I blasted my ship into overdrive, screaming to the surface while Sinker and Boost cheered over the comm channels with the rest of the 442nd. Plo’s fighter was a fireball when I landed. I jumped out of my ship and toward his, burnt the fuck out of my hand ripping apart the cockpit to pull him out.”

I grabbed his hand and slowly slid off his gloves, finding his palms had bubbled over where he gripped the transparisteel starshield. It was haphazardly patched over with bandages not nearly sufficient enough to heal the burns and I whimpered at the idea of him suffering through this for months. “You’ll have to let us fix this. We have bacta-”

“No. I want to live with it. I want it to scar. So I never forget how failing him feels.” He hissed, ripping his glove from my hand and tossing it to the back wall where he’d left his helmet too. “When I pulled him from his ship, he was still breathing. Shallow, his breathing mask cracking so I knew he didn’t have long. But I thought if I could just carry him to my ship he might live. He grabbed my wrist and he looked up at me. And he said…” Wolffe broke, silently sobbing like he had before and inhaling the same shaky shallow breaths he was describing from Plo.

“He said ‘Son. Let me go. Your life matters more than my survival.’ And I told him the same thing he told me when he saved what was left of my battalion in deep space once. ‘Not to me.’ But he grabbed my hand and motioned toward my ship. The last thing he said to me was ‘Go, my son. Run.’ and he died. I held his hand as he took his last breath in my arms and I just sat there.”

He sobbed, staring off into the dark corner where his helmet sat and focused on his breathing. I let my hands wander down his bicep and I leaned down to hug him as close as he’d let me. Resting my head on his shoulder pauldron, I muttered, “Wolffe. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t theirs either. Rex…when he came to me he struggled with this too. The guilt. It’s normal.”

“Nothing about this is normal. Not mass genocide. Not this war. Not a dictator controlling us. Not being a clone. None of it. This was all wrong from the very beginning. And no one could see it. Not even the Jedi. They paid the price and my brothers made sure of it.” He whispered, drawing his knees to his chest and hugging his massive frame into a small ball for whatever kind of comfort he could give himself.

“Wolffe…you didn’t. You tried to save him. But that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted you to live, to fix things, to do what’s right in his name. You’re his son. He said it himself.” I soothed, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and massaging gently. “We all have to live with the fact that we couldn’t save everyone. But we do what we can to survive…to make their sacrifice worth something.”

He shook his head, balling his gravely burned hand into a fist and sighed hopelessly. “But that’s not all I did. I-I couldn’t help myself. After Plo died, the 442nd and the 104th rushed me. Jag and Sinker and Boost. They ran to try to congratulate me or something sick like that. I drew my blasters and I stood over Plo’s body. I couldn’t let them get any closer. Jag ordered them all to surround me, they needed his lightsaber for proof he’d been successfully executed. I grabbed it from his belt and backed away, but the fire from his ship's crash was inching closer to us. I warned him not to come closer. I warned him! But Jag jumped at me anyway. So I shot him. I shot Jag dead. My own brother. The men around us charged at me, subduing me in a second. That’s the last thing I remember before I escaped on my trip to the Citadel. Been working vigilante jobs for people on a bunch of planets while I tried to look for Fox. That’s how I ended up here.”

I felt myself curling into his bicep, hoping that even the most subtle of comforts would be meaningful to him. “You were trying to save Fox too. So was I. We were close, you know.” I whispered, shivering as I remembered the wild, unhinged look in his eyes. The way he tortured me when he found out the truth. “That wasn’t our Fox. He- he would never have done that to us.”

“I know. If I just had five more minutes…if I was just strong enough to drag him back with us. I should’ve saved him.” He muttered, my heart shattering at the admittance of failure from one of the toughest clones I’d ever met.

“There was no way to save him without losing one of us. The real Fox would never have let us take that risk.” I said, Wolffe grunting his agreement, crossing his arms and stretching his legs out on the floor again.

“Why did he torture you?” He finally asked after looking off in the distance lost in thought for a while.

“He wanted to know why I stole the holodisc. Who I was working for. I wasn’t going to tell him about Rex but…” I stopped, remembering the way my heart plummeted at the realization. I felt my own tears welling up now, internally beating myself up for ever being so reckless.

Wolffe turned toward me, curling an arm across my shoulders and pulling me into him. “Take your time. It’s alright.” He cooed softly, the gentle side of Wolffe finally showing itself to me.

“My body gave him away.” I muttered, fiddling with my own fingers as I anxiously skirted around having to reveal something this intimate with someone I admittedly didn’t know very well.

Wolffe’s eyes narrowed, looking me up and down in confusion. “What- what do you mean? I don’t…understand.”

I turned away from Wolffe’s gaze, afraid to reveal the truth to him because I knew what he’d say. He was so logical, rational and serious. He’d probably tell us both we were incredibly irresponsible and stupid for being in love like we were in the middle of the end of the fucking galaxy.

I started to cry, softly mimicking the very same sounds he’d woken me up with. Tears poured to wet my cheeks and pitiful whimpers left my lips as I tried to get the words out. Wolffe pulled his hand from my shoulder to guide me into a hug, tucking my head under his chin.

“Wolffe…I’m-” I ran my hand along my belly and bit my bottom lip to keep my composure. The gears were turning in his head and I slowly watched his eyes grow wide with realization. The shock freezing him in place beside me. “It’s his Wolffe. Fox knew it would be no one else but him. It gave him away immediately. Pretty awful way to find out, huh.”

All I could hear was the sound of his breathing, his heart thump thump thumping loudly against his broad chest. Just like Rex’s did when he was rushed with emotion. He didn’t say anything, just hugged me a bit closer and let the truth sink down in place within him.

“How far along?” He finally asked, tipping his head back to rest on the wall behind us.

I sniffled, “8 weeks.” I pulled away from Wolffe, to shrink back into myself, the sudden anxiety, fear, panic…every emotion at once crashing into me. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t the right time and I know you’ll probably think we’re so fucking stupid for letting this happen and-”

Wolffe reached his hand out toward me, bridging the gap between us without hesitation and supporting me like he knew I needed it. “Hey…c'mon darlin, don’t apologize. There’s uhm- never really a right time for anything anymore.” He laughed sarcastically, shrugging as I could feel his eyes roaming my frame which to him must look so small. “This is a good thing ya know? We clones…we weren’t supposed to have futures. Options. Choices. You’ve given Rex thousands he’d never even let himself dream of having. Trust me, I know him. We’ve never been given much but the one thing we do have is each other. Support your brothers. Same heart, same blood. We’re family. And well- you just made ours a little bigger.”

I looked up through the blurry film of my tears at the one thing I never thought I’d see on Wolffe’s face, a fucking smile. A real one. Kind, happy, almost affectionate. The side of him Rex always glowingly spoke about was now finally shining on me too. I blinked and let a few final tears slide down my cheeks, reaching out to take hold of Wolffe’s offered hand. “I’ll have him and Gregor to protect us I suppose. I hope they don’t get mad when I eat all their rations myself.” I grinned sheepishly.

Wolffe pulled off his other glove, holding it as gently as he could between massive fingers and reaching forward to wipe my cheeks clean of wet tears with the fabric. “And you’ll have me.”

I perked up, sitting up straight and whispering, “so you do want to stick around?” I teased.

“Yeah I mean- what’s another uncle?” He rolled his eyes and gestured broadly at the millions of other family they all had out there. “Besides, somebody’s gonna have to protect you three. Well…four now.”

I ran my hand along the otherwise normal plain of my belly. “It’s…almost impossible to imagine. I know I’m a bit overwhelmed and I know you think I’m too intense sometimes but I’m-” I smiled down at where I’d imagined the tiny little thing to be.

What they might look like? 

Who they might look like?

What are the odds they’d end up being a cute little blondie like their Daddy?

“I’m happy. Wolffe, I’ve never felt so happy. It’s extraordinary.”

Wolffe snorted, shaking his head and half smirking exactly like his little brother. “Of course it is. It’s Rex. Everything he does is out of the ordinary. Always has been his way. But hell I’m fucking proud he’s my little brother. Don’t you ever tell him I said that.”

I sighed, swiveling toward the blast doors and blinked as if it would somehow help clear the darkness surrounding everything in the universe right now. “I have to tell him. He’s gotta be confused after everything Fox was saying. He’s probably so worried.”

“All he was worried about was getting us to safety. I’ll go tell him you’re up and asking for him. He’ll come running. You seem to have that effect on people.”

“So you and I are a lot more alike than we realized.” I retorted. He arched an eyebrow at me and stood up slowly, reaching his hand down to pull me up after him.

“You go lay down. Someone’s gotta go bring Daddy home. Never in a billion lightyears did I think I’d be saying that about one of my brothers.” He scoffed and I giggled as I watched him stride out the blast doors.

Just as he grabbed the rung of the ladder up to the cockpit I called after him, “Hey Wolffe.” He paused, “None of this means we’re giving up on Fox. I swear to you, we’ll bring him home too. I won’t forget about him. About any of you.”

His eyes fell to the floor and he sighed, his broad shoulders sagging and reminding me just how much grief he’d been carrying alone all this time. “Thanks Darlin’. I’m glad someone won’t.”

I waited a while. Rex and one of his favorite older brothers probably took some time to catch up.  I didn’t mind because I think they all needed that time together to help heal. It’s the best they could do right now.

I laid down in our bunk, mindlessly drawing circles and patterns on my belly the way Rex always did. My mind raced, anxiously wondering what he would think, how he would feel. After everything I told him, all I’d said to try to talk him out of this on Saleucami, I hoped he still felt the same. That he would be happy this happened, even through all the risks we’d be taking. It felt like an oddly timed miracle in all this chaos.

Why us? Why now?

Nothing was solid. Nothing was safe. All we had was each other in a world filled with hostile takeovers, extinctions, war and loss.

Why?

All I could think to rationalize it was that the Force had to search for whatever good it could find out there. Foster it. Help it grow. Make it spread. Replicate it again. What Rex and I had was powerful, unbreakable, uplifting and hopeful. It was as if the Force itself had wanted to harness that pure love and use it to create more of the good the galaxy lacked.

Well it succeeded. The best news we could’ve ever gotten falling into our laps right when we had least expected it. I closed my eyes, half expecting to somehow be able to feel the lifeform growing within me, but instead heard the sound of soft footfalls tamping down the rungs of the ladder.

The blast doors slid open and a soft whisper filled the silence of the room.

“Mesh’la? You awake, pretty girl?” He called out, practically floating over the space between us and approaching our bedside.

“Mhm.” I hummed, turning over to reach for him. He leaned down and scooped me into his arms, wrapping his massive unarmored biceps around my back protectively. His face buried into my neck and he softly inhaled the scent of me for comfort.

“I thought I almost lost you too.” He muttered, his voice slightly quivering at the thought of what might’ve happened had Wolffe not found us.

“Never.” I replied, grazing my fingertips softly along the curls at the nape of his neck. “You always know your way to me, Rex.” I tightened my arms around him and held on, the safety and stability he provided soothing all my worries just like always.

“He didn’t hurt you too bad did he? Fox I mean…or whoever that was.” Rex pulled away, rubbing his palms up and down the length of my arm. His warm, affectionate gaze was filled with concern as he searched over my entire body for signs of injury.

“I’m- I’m okay, love. But there’s something I need to tell you.” I blinked up at him, the nervousness breaking up any tension formed on my face from all the events of the last day or so. We never kept secrets from each other. At this point, constantly living on the run together meant, we didn’t have many anyways.

Slowly, he sat down on the bunk beside me motioning for me to scoot over. I obliged, sliding over to let him slot into place. He propped himself up on one arm and slid my entire body into his with the other, a warm palm resting on my waist. I looked down at where he was touching me, his hands so close to where our baby grew within me and he didn’t even know yet.

I smiled at his touch, instantly soothing my worries and leaned forward to kiss his lips gently. He received it like he always did, hungry and passionate and meaningful. His lips closed around mine, breaking only for air and the softest of joyful laughs. Our noses brushed, chins tipping forward in tandem to chase after the other, fervently drinking in the presence of love blooming between us. Before, figuratively, and now literally growing because of us.

I pulled away, nibbling his bottom lip and ghosting gentle touches down his now stubbled jaw. Our foreheads pressed together and every breath we took was shared, as if we were one body taking up our own little space in the wide expanse of the galactic cosmos.

“There was something you wanted to say, Mesh’la…? You know if you want to get me into bed with you, you don’t even have to ask.” He chuckled, the pads of his thumbs grazing my cheekbone as he cupped my face in one large hand.

I gulped, feeling the anxiety flood me all over again. “Rex…when Fox was interrogating me…he knew I’d never talk. He wanted to know if you’d lived but he knew I’d never say anything to give you up. So…so he called for the Interrogation Droid. But it didn’t…didn’t go to plan.” I let out a shaky sigh, my fingers digging a tighter grip into the duraweave on his shoulders. 

Rex huffed out a short exhale, the anger rising in his chest, “Did he hurt you? Tell me the truth. It’s alright, you can tell me.” He tipped my chin up to hold my gaze, hoping that through the kindness in his eyes I’d find confidence to tell him what was nagging at me.

I shook my head, “N-no, Rex. No, he didn’t hurt me. I promise.” The rigidness in his trap muscle relaxed, finding the resolve to let the tension go at my words. He believed me. His eyes narrowed in confusion, jaw tightening as his mind raced through every conceivable thing that could be bothering me. “You know how they have to prepare enough of the sedative stims to put you under? Keep you pliant enough to confess?”

He nodded, running his fingers through the hair at my temple and resting the other hand on the small of my back for any comforting support he could offer me. “Yeah. They usually scan you to determine how much they need. Had to administer some myself when interrogating Seppie prisoners.” The apprehension between the two of us made the lines on his face deepen with the scowl he wore. “I’ve never seen you so timid before, what’s got you so nervous?”

“When…when they scanned me…they found-” I began to tremble beside him, gripping his shoulder tighter and nibbling on my bottom lip to keep the words from spilling out. Instead of words falling, tears did. Happy this time, though Rex couldn’t discern that from my behavior. “Rex…my love, you’re going to be a Daddy.”

The worry furrowing his brow broke, his entire face, his whole demeanor lighting up with elated exhilaration. His jaw dropped open in surprise and his warm golden eyes ignited with a pride I’d never seen before. “W-What?” He muttered, both his hands cupping my cheeks and steadying himself in my gaze.

I rambled, the nervousness wracking my frame as I tried to guess how he felt. I repeated, “I’m pregnant, Rex. 8 weeks. I’m so sorry we had to find out like this. I’m so sorry I gave you up. I didn’t mean to. I would’ve died before I told them you lived. I’m sorry, Rex, I’m sor-”

He cut me off with a deep kiss, his left hand cupping the back of my neck and the right holding my cheek as he excitedly crashed into me. His tongue slid past my parted lips, consuming every square inch of me to swallow the unneeded apology.

“Mesh’la…This is the happiest day of our lives. You have nothing to be sorry for. Forget everything else right now. This is about us. Just me and you. This thing we have between us…we made this. I can’t believe it.” Rex whispered softly, looking down at my still normal belly. “It was Saleucami, wasn’t it? That was about 8 weeks ago.”

“Yes, my love. Saleucami.” I sighed, nuzzling into his cheek affectionately. “You were so determined that day. Guess even the Force couldn’t stop you.” I pulled back, brushing through wisps of blonde hair just starting to curl across his forehead.

“Hey, maybe it didn’t want to.” Rex challenged, his touch gently running down the sides of my waist and tracing patterns along my skin that were far too delicate for a man who was used to wielding blasters and throwing punches. His curious gaze flicked down to where he knew our baby was slowly but surely growing strong, at a normal rate. “Can-can I?” He muttered, stroking along the curves of my side with the backs of his knuckles.

The warmest, most comforting smile beamed across my face at the sight of him so eager to care for something small the way he had always cared for me. I moved to pull up my shirt and laid flat on my back, “You can feel if you want. I-I want you to.”

He sat up, lacing his fingers with mine to hold my hand as he apprehensively stretched out the other. He started with just his fingertips, gliding them along the smooth surface he’d kissed probably a thousand times by now. I didn’t feel much of anything, but the tickling of his fingertips made me erupt in goosebumps.

His head turned back to me, a real smile curling his lips and the mist-eyed glossy film of tears reflecting in his eyes. He flattened his palm out overtop of my belly, the sheer size of it probably bigger than the baby itself was. It would be way too small at that time to be noticed, but I swear Rex’s hand met my skin and my whole body felt like what I’d imagined stardust might feel like. Tingling, bright, burst of emotions cascading from my core outwards to every last fingertip.

Rex, knowing my body as well as he knew his own, felt the change in me instantly. “Hi Ad’ika.” He whispered, tightening his grip on my hand as he spoke. “It’s your Dad. But I think you knew that already.” He chuckled softly, “Sure is nice to know I can do a lot more than just take lives. So thanking you for proving that to me once and for all, little bug.”

For Rex, to know the truth now was to fall in love twice.

Once with me, a bond of trust, devotion and enamour through the uncertainty of war, the darkness of Republic collapse.

And again with our child, growing inside me despite all that the galaxy had done to prevent a clone from knowing what the creation of new life had to offer a man who had only known war, violence and loss.

I watched the love I knew swell up all over again in the only man who ever taught me its meaning. Unconditionally and unlimitedly, through all obstacles. We’d nurtured something between us so unstoppable and so passionate that the universe knew no better reward than to let it blossom and watch it grow again in another form.

A boy. Nothing told me for certain. I could just feel it. I knew it to be true. Something, that cosmic consciousness that seemed to touch all that balanced our universe, convinced me that it was so. And that, like everything his Father ever seemed to accomplish since he was created, he was special too.

“We love you so much already. We can’t wait to see who you look like, little one.” I looked up at Rex, beaming like the stars chose him to shine brighter than the others and sighed. “And I love your Daddy so very, very much. Because he deserves it.”

“Bet it’s a little blondie.” A voice called from the blast door opening.

A gruffer, deeper voice retorted. “Doubt it. Dark hair. So they can match their handsome uncles.”

“Uncles? More like Dads.” Gregor’s familiar giggle echoing throughout the ship’s interior.

Rex groaned, “Gregor…you’re an Uncle and if you suggest anything otherwise, I’m not gonna hurt you, she will.” He slumped down in bed beside me and slid his arm under my head to cradle me close to him.

“Fine. Uncles. Now can we come in?” Gregor asked, rapping a melodic pattern on the blast door.

“They’re part of our family too, right?” I giggled, whistling confirmation that they could enter. They both strolled into the bunk room, fully preparing themselves to have to fight over who got the bunk tonight and who got the floor.

“Just settle down, brothers. After today, I think we all could use a little rest for a while. Lay low somewhere quiet until this mess blows over a bit.” Rex urged, pulling our blankets up over us both and making sure I was comfortable beside him. “Some of us are sleeping for two.”

“I hope you don’t mean yourself, Rex’ika.” Wolffe remarked sarcastically, grabbing himself and Gregor some pillows and blankets from a shelf in the bunk room.

“Hey, be grateful you don’t have to hear the two of them for a while. No one would get any sleep.” Gregor remarked.

“You won’t need sleep where I’ll send you.” Rex shot back. All three of them remarkably fell into place like the brothers they were. Little quips, digs and arguments with each other like nothing was out of the ordinary. And suddenly there was no better place to be than here. No better time to add another little member to this makeshift family we had here. No other people I’d want around me than the three of them.

“Hey guys? I uhm- Rex, remember how you used to tell me about the sleeping piles you’d have on missions?” I thought aloud, imagining how warm and safe and comforting it must be to have the people you’d live, breathe and die for surround you on all sides.

“Yeah, what about it?” He responded, humming softly as he cuddled me into him.

“I don’t want them to sleep on the floor, baby. Not after today. They can come up here with us. We’ve got room and I…I just want all of us to feel safe right now, ok?”

Wolffe and Gregor exchanged glances, waiting for the ok from Rex before jumping into the bunk beside us. Rex sighed softly, “yeah alright. But she sleeps against the wall. Wolffe and Gregor behind me.” I slid over and pulled Rex into me, curling my entire body into his and sinking into his chest as much as I could.

His brothers crawled into the bunk beside him and closed their eyes to recoup after one of the longest, most traumatic days they’d had since the order only a few months ago. It was nice to have some semblance of normalcy between each other again.

But Rex didn’t sleep a wink. Because he spent the entire night watching over us all as we slept, making sure we got our rest and recovery in, like a leader should. And despite all my restlessness, twisting and turning, his hand still never left my belly.

--

Mando'a translation note:Mandokarla = having "the right stuff", showing guts and spirit, the state of being the epitome of Mandalorian virtue

Note: HI!!! no spicy stuff this time, don't think the moment was really right for several reasons. you'll see why. thank you all for the love and support always <3 I also have a gif reference for the last bit of this chapter that reaaaaally helps you envision the s o f t.

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