#lizard guy does not belong to me

[thwackk]

would you guys be mad if i started posting oc stuff with no context whatsoever or coherency. spiderverse oc

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[schpeenor]

I'm new to the Spinnerdabi way of life. What is your propaganda, I mean what makes this a good ship? I like it but I can't put into words why, so please give me your wisdom!

I DONT HAVE BIIIG ABSTRACT REASONS TO SHIP THEM, NONE I CAN PUT INTO WORDS BC I JUST DO SHIP EM!!! their dynamic is fun, just the sight of them in the same frame next to each other makes my brain buzz. here’s a sloppy ass list as to why i ship it (some of which digressed but let’s pretend that didn’t happen)

they’ve just got that kind of bickering like a married couple dynamic i like.

emo crashout x villain boy-failure. that’s it. that’s the ship. this is the propaganda statement trust.

i like to imagine they’re two dudes who feel like they don’t fit the standards of beauty (u could also say that about spinaraki but that’s not the focus atm), dabi’s whole patchwork frankenstein thing he’s got going on, feeling like a gross amalgamation of parts that don’t belong to him, and spinner’s stigmatized heteromorphic traits that’ve probably done a number to his self esteem and made him feel like he could only be defined by his scales. they fall in love w/ each other and along the way learn to love themselves.

the whole dabi’s a human heater and spinner’s a cold-blooded guy (my spinner isn’t cold blooded but suffers the same sort of problems that come with it — excluding brumation). listen even before they got together i can imagine spinner being all over him trust.

also the idea of these dudes pining for SOOO LONG bc of their own internal issues and dabi lowkey wanting to kill himself because of ALL people he has feelings for, IT’S SPINNER?? THAT LOSER?? And even in general, that means he actually has feelings, and he’d rather die than let that be the truth. Turns out that as much as he can sit here and act like he’s an unfeeling dick and a ruthless killer, like he’s only dabi, and dabi alone, that isn’t completely true. there’s still a part of him that wants to love and be loved — touya’s still in there, even if touya doesn’t use that name anymore. safe to say the guy has a crisis.

on spinner’s end, he likes this dickhead and he owns up to it, really admires him too, his whole vibe, his strength, and the actual brain he’s got knocking around in that head of his (basically he’s got sense — SUPPOSEDLY…) gets spinner going — so the question is: how is he supposed to bag THAT baddie? the answer is he can’t, ‘cause he’s been thoroughly convinced that he just can’t ever impress dabi, he’s just a big dumb lizard and all he does is squabble with patchwork, even if it’s lighthearted, what if it’s off-putting to dabi? THAT KINDA STUFF.

IM RAMBLING BUT OVERALL, I LOVE THE TWO MOST OF ALL BC OF THEIR EXISTING DYNAMIC. there’s so many things you can take from them and their characters and so much to explore. ALSOOO….

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[ask-rain-world-characters]

between all of the slugcats, if they all fought to the death, who would win and who would die first?

Survivor's Answer:

Monk's Answer:

Hunter's Answer:

Watcher's Answer:

Gourmand's Answer:

Artificer's Answer:

Rivulet's Answer:

Spearmaster's Answer:

Saint's Answer:

Enot's Answer:

Transcripts Below:

Survivor: "Ah. Man, that's uh... kind of a tough question to answer. Never really gave it too much thought..! but I have a couple ideas. So, like... Arti. Maayyybe Spears, but that's if they can get some sort of advantage over Artificer. As it stands now, I'm pretty confident Artificer would sweep. If lizards were allowed, Monk could totally unleash an army--if Monk even decided to fight. As far as I know, the lil guy's a pacifist, so they might not even fight to begin with. First to die... man, that's... Ehhh it's also not easy to answer... Probably Enot? I don't know."

Monk: "Oh... such a terrible thing, to pit us all against one another in a fight to the death. We’ve all suffered so much, each of us bearing our own scars. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but if we were to fight... I suppose I’d see things unfolding like this: Hunter... you would be the one to fear most. Your strength, your speed, and the relentless drive you have... it’s like a storm that cannot be stopped. You fight because time is always slipping away from you, and you have no choice but to push forward with everything you have. Artificer, your anger burns hot. You lash out with such power, your bombs a testament to the pain you’ve endured. In battle, you’d be a terrifying force, destroying everything in your path to ensure your own survival. I can’t help but feel sorrow for what you have become. Spearmaster, you are quiet and strange, and your abilities are unlike any of ours. Creating spears from your own body... you would strike with deadly accuracy, draining the life from others to sustain yourself. Your solitude is a strength, but also a curse. Gourmand, you’re gentle at heart, but I know you have hidden depths. In a fight, your strength would surprise us all. You can craft tools and make the most of what the world gives you. You might not seem like a warrior, but your determination to enjoy the simple things could be a hidden weapon. Rivulet, you are so fast—like a river flowing through this harsh land. I think you would dance around the rest of us, never stopping long enough to be caught. Your speed and agility are your greatest allies, and perhaps they’d keep you alive when others fall. Saint, you would not even want to fight. I see in you a calmness that I wish I could have. But in a battle like this, your gentleness might not be enough... unless you could somehow transcend it all, escaping the conflict before it even began. Enot, you are strange to me—like someone who doesn’t belong, yet is part of our world all the same. You would fight, I think, with a quiet desperation to prove yourself. I do not know if it would be enough, but I sense something in you that even I cannot fully understand. Watcher... or should I call you Nightcat? You watch from the shadows, silent and observant. You see more than the rest of us, and your knowledge might be your greatest strength. You seem distant, detached... Perhaps you would simply let the rest of us destroy each other, and emerge at the end, unscathed. Survivor, you and I - we are so alike. You are strong in way I can only dream of, yet I feel the loneliness you carry. In a battle you would endure, waiting, watching and learning from every moment. Your patience and adaptability make you a true survivor. And as... for myself? I do not know if I could even bring myself to fight! The world is already so cruel, and I've seen what violence does! I would hide, I think. Waiting for the storm to pass. If forced into battle, I... might try and find another way. But in the end, I believe it is Hunter, who would stand above us all. Not because they are the strongest, or the fiercest, but because they are conjured by something none of us can fully understand - a force that pushes them to survive, no matter the cost. If anyone could endure, it would be them. But oh, how I wish there were a different way, than fighting, for all of us! So there, Hunter!

Hunter: "That’s a good question… but I believe that Arti would win out of all of us. They have more experience in fighting entire enemy squads than anyone here! Plus, they are dynamite… Literally! No scug matches their glorious vigor! But as for the one who’d die first? Hmm…. Sorry Enot, but you’d fall faster than everyone else here…"

Watcher: "Well... this is hard to answer... it depends what kind of situation we're in... but I will try my best. About who would die first, there's no doubt... that would be Enot. From what I observed he often gets into some of trouble, so I wouldn't be surprised if the luck screws them over. But about who would win... this very hard to answer... if it's mostly about fighting than probably Hunter, Spear and Artifice could win. They have great combat prowess for slugcats, so no doubt they could wipe us out... although... I have weird feeling and I 'm not sure why, but... I think Saint would win..."

Gourmand: "Well, from what I could tell, most of us haven't fought many Slugcats before. After all, we survive by working together, in spite of our differences. I've only ever had to deal with a few dangerous intruders myself - one of whom has strangely ended up in this blog. Unfortunately, none of us are particularly durable, so a brawl could go in many ways. Artificer and Rivulet definitely have an edge. Their dexterity is something I always admired, and as any Scavenger might tell you - they're not easy to hit with spears. And for who dies first? It... could be most of us. Luck really would be important here. Long fights are not really my specialty, but I would likely last a little while, at least. Enot and Watcher would likely struggle the most. Watcher wouldn't handle such situations well, and Enot hasn't spent much time with other Slugcats. They also don't have much that would help them fight, or avoid hits. I know about the mysterious eggs, but knowing their wielder, they would likely get caught in the explosion themselves"

Artificer: "Well I don't want to sound biased but I think I would win in a situation like this, though I believe Spearmaster would be a close second! I do think Monk would be the first to die though, they aren't exactly the combative type. I would say Saint instead of Monk but I have this feeling they have some sort of trick up their sleeve, capable of wiping us all if they really wanted too."

Rivulet: "I mean, okay, there's no rules that say I need to ENGAGE in fights, so theoretically speaking, if the win condition is being the last one standing: I could just let everyone else do the fighting, and then I could just run away, and, if everyone else dies, then I would be crowned the winner! Does that make sense? That counts, right? Oh and for the other question, who would die first... Probably Monk, sorry-"

Spearmaster: “Hmm… I feel that is a bit of an open ended question to answer concretly. You have to think about the arena it’s settled in, what resources we would have available, what state we would be in to fight, is it in our prime, at our average or worst? It’s a lot to consider. General answer though, if we are given various resources, either Artificer or Gourmand would win. If none is at our disposal, it’d be close between me and Arti; in favor for them however since they are really relentless with their aggression; special mention goes to Enot with their weird, singularity bomb behaving egg. And lastly, if it’s in our prime, Saint without a doubt. For the ones who would die first, I’m not sure how to answer that without making it sound… degrading. So please don’t take these answers seriously, they’re just hypothetical after all. With that in mind, my candidates are either Saint or Monk, and it really does depend on how favorable it is for both of them. Monk although weak, has their way with lizards and could in theory make an army out of them, but that’s if they manage to find them, and Saint has powers no other slugcat is able to conceive, but at the same time, they are very frail, so take that of what you will. Hope that helps. …actually is that too long of an answer?”

Saint: "Hmm...given how much I've thought this over you'd think I'd have a conclusion by now. every new variable i consider just throws me off more and more though. Those with combat built bodies naturally have the advantage but they also come with their own weaknesses to be exploited. The only conclusive thing i can state is that Monk would be among the first to go, with myself not too far behind. i suppose we could always just do it for real and see for ourselves...kidding of course, haha."

Enot: "Awwww, must we fight? id rather we all get along and be friends, some of you maybe even more than such but if it haaaaaad to come to it I assure you yours truly would come out victorious." "No you wouldn't!" - Another Slugcat "As for the first to fall...suppose it would end up being either monk or watcher, I feel like both of them would surrender before trying to fight."

[boombrothersasks]

Just caught up... So Scourge, since we're on your world now, is there any Amy wanting to crush you with her hammer? How would she feel about two hedgehogs that look a lot like you but blue?

"My world...? I mean, yeah, ya could say this world does belong to me. Good on you for acknowledging that, I guess. But don't summon her. She's the bossiest and craziest there ever was, I'm telling ya..."

"...Hold on. TWO BLUE FAKES?!?! WHAT D'YOU MEAN TWO?!" Scourge began shouting again.

"We're having the same problem on that one man." Sonic cut in, still sounding deadpan.

"You know where this guy is?"

"That's for me to know, and you to get irrationally angry over for some reason."

"CAN WE JUST BLOW HIM UP ALREADY!?' Someone who looked weirdly like the Knuckles Sonic knew shouted within the group of people surrounding him. "He talks too much. Getting on my nerves. He's worse than Scourge."

"Excuse-"

"Let's just crush. EVERYONE. For good measure!!"

"She's here. That's great. See what ya did?" Scourge grumbled.

"SCOURGE THE HEDGEHOG, RULER OF THIS DIMENSION, I'VE COME TO FIND AND TO CHALLENGE YOU-"

All eyes were on him and Metal after they stood. Including Sonic's.

"Eclipse when I tell you this was the worst possible time..." the blue hedgehog muttered.

"ITS A LIZARD THINGGGGGG," the Amy counterpart already had her hammer at the ready. "KILL IT."

"Is that any way to treat your new ruler of worlds and dimensions beyond all comprehension?"

[kisekisreblogspage]

Rainbow friends Head cannons!! 1/3

This is just a head cannon abaut them not beeing the murders machines we all know and love, more like them beeing goofy/silly creatures

Red plays 90's (girlish) music whenever he is cleaning, and he sings and dances."the loudest the music, the hardest i clean". When he does that he either starts Early in the morning (like a latinian household lol) or in the afthernoon (when everyting gets nasty again)

Everytime this happens Green is the frist one to hear it "A LITTLE BIT OF MONIKA IN MY LIFE-" and Red's voice pretendig to be a singer, and he always goes like "curse you red!... CURSE YOU!"

I like to think that Green is the kind of guy that sleeps the whole day and wakes up tired. Like he had a terrible night cycle, or had a wild party or did a lot of things in the day, but he just loves sleeping, it is not because of deprecion, it is because he is a very sleepy guy.

If you knew him, you'd be jealous of him (even my self) because he is the kind of guy who does NOTHING the whole day and sleeps like he has done a whole day of military training. But the hardest thing he done is walk, eating, playing with Blue or Orange atend Red's checkouts or just beeing silly (ya' know, the basics, treat human kind with nuclear weapons, or pretend that he is some african Prince who needs money)

Also, Green wuld love cotagecore stuff, not becuase of the looks but becuase of the scents! And the comfynes! You know, the smell of freshly backed goods and bread and meals, the confort of many pillows and blankets, the feeling the scents of plants surounding you, the touch of grass, him not able to see but still beeing one with nature while wearing comfortable retro clothes. Idk how to portray him other ways but GREEN BELONGS TO COTTAGECORE AND COTTAGECORE BELONGS TO GREEN! Change my mind

Now, speaking abaut Orange. He has something that i like to think abaut sometimes. His eyes...

You see, his eyes are canonicly just a line, unfocused, but in the drawing of him across the game, his eyes are not a line, but a circle, focused. I have this headcannon that he can dilatate his eyes on purpose sometimes. From just a line, to a big ol'-blak-hole like eyes, and he does this in order to look cute and archive what he wants, the only 2 persons who does not fall for this are Green (because, Blind) and Red, he does not buy this.

He and Puple are besties, they are both have a good relationship, they are kind of Sibling like, if Orange has some dumb aa shit going on, there is Purple over there suporting his shit!

You can hear him ranting abaut how he tinks the word works like and you will be like "tf? Is this guy living in dereality?" And Purple be like "Oh yes yes you have quite a point" and Orange will be like "I KNOW!"

I like to thin that he is the rizzler in the gang, i can see him apearing in a corner in some "handsome" like pose and move his eyebrow and go like "heya" while trying to rizz you up in the rizzles vibes ever imagined and doing some faces. And then treating you like a friend lol. Yea this is Orange for me, some Sassy silly Rizzles little guy who makes fun of manny and hates when the karma hits back and goes like "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!?!?" A drama lizard. He is not a Jerk, he is just a dumbass.

Also, i think that he will mostly joke abaut Red beeing ugly because he thinks that is funny, but he does not belive that Red's ugly, he just like to annoy him

Now if you ask

"Hey Red, is purple a girl or a boy?"

"Its purple"

"Yea but it is a girl or a boy?"

"Its purple"

"But is PURPLE a GIRL or a BOY"

"Its purple"

"A puple girl? Or a purple boy?"

"Its puple"

"You are not gonna tell me aren't you?"

" i told you!"

"Then what it is???"

"Puple"

Its Purple time fellas! Purple belives that the outside world is cyberpunk now, because thats what has been promised for the 2000's to be, poor little Purple.

I like to think that Purple walks araund everywere anytime purple whants, but just choses not to, because Purple belives that socializing is useless and rather be as far away from everyone. But fear not, Purple has get over that phase (thanks to Green) now Purple only walks araund only when Purple feels like so, but still not wanting to talk to strangers, they make Purple unconforfable and overwelmed, so if you are going to try to make friends with Purple, make sure to not overwelm them, go slow and secure, make them know that you are no harm, talk to them, be nice, don't make loud noices, eventually Purple will be interested in you, and you will found out that Purple's very curios and kind of energetic (in a short period of time) and will be a very good friend only to persons who deserves Purple's friendship, and then you will become Purple's favorite Person

I can tell that Purple likes to Wonder araund in a box, like, they just found a box from the deceased person that they just kill the ground and go like "Oh... this is supose to help them hide... i see" and now it is Purple who hide in these boxes, neat right? They think that this is like Red wearing suits. I can also see Purple finding old/abandoned clothes and wearing them, pretending it is some fashion thing. Finding crappy shoes especially, and goes like "yea, this shoes are designer" and the shoes in question are fake jordans. Lol.

Now, lets talk abaut our favorite King. Our beloved Baby, Blue in my headcannons is some kind of funny gentelman, playing roleplays, doll house, making his kingdom out of cardboard taking Green to dance, like he sees Green feeling down and he goes like "NOT ON MY WHATCH!!" And takes Green and hugs him and make him dance with his long as arms untill he starts laugting. They have a very 'favorite cousin' vibe.

To me, Blue is the kind of guy that will give you the best of advises and will tell you those things like he knows way too personaly abaut of why is he saying so, and then give you a pat in the back. You can be talking abaut your most embarasing and childish of hyperfixations one moment and then talking abaut life and your fears in the other moment, like he were your grandpa, or your dad!

"Did someone Hurt you? Friend? Oh... i see... don't worry, i'll make then know that hurting others is bad! Oh don't worry! I wont do anything bad to them! I'll... Just... make them know that they shuldn't Hurt oters for fun..."

"If you are going to Hurt someone there's better ve a reason... like... Hunger... like for now.... 'I' am hungry..."

Yea, he is not going to let that slide.

Start runing

Blue is just like the kind of charactwr that is neat and cool with everyone! You know! Hiding a deep trauma and dark past and beeing misterious aswell. This is a super cool character to work with to me, it culd be either a murder or a mashmellow, or both at the same time! You can get crazy!

"Yea... he was my frist friend... i don't remember why he is no longer with me... i Wonder if i have been bad or something... but Red tells me that he just gone... but were?"

"Don't you get these gaps in your memories?... like what happened here? Why is this place so ruined? It use to be a happy place! Why is all so abandoned?"

"Don't tell Red... but... i have been feeling a little of Deja-bu some times... it feels like i have seen you before, and i have done everyting that i have done to meet you over and over again... do you understand?"

"Red says that he also has some deja-bu.. thank God i am not alone in this... are you ok annyways?"

Yes, i belive that he will get Deja-bu eventualy in a way. And then freak out abaut this bur then keep it cool at the end. Yea... this reminds me to sans.

Oh well this is just the part one, probably put more abaut the rest

See y'all latter

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2022 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

* All lines are from this video made by content creator TheRussianBadger.

“I didn’t come here to fuckin’ read!”

“I will carpet bomb your house.”

“No, we’re not going in the direction of ranch.”

“I don’t want to see another video of [name] killing a wasp with ranch dressing.”

“Fuck you, you’re going to the ranch dimension.”

“It’s Ezekiel torn, the Lord is coming back for us. Take me, God!”

“What alcohol do you think [name] would drink? 100% malt liquor.”

“Pass me that travel size Jack Daniels.”

“Yeah, I cleared the house. Off the fucking map.”

“Doctor tried to give me Tylenol instead of percs so I punched him in his fuckin’ face.”

“Your voice is so bassy that my subwoofer keeps shaking my entire fucking wall and I’m scared.”

“You smell like fuckin’ beans, dog.”

“What did I just hear? That doesn’t even sound like an insult.”

“Hey, fall over, break your neck. It’ll be funny.”

“You deserve a bullet.”

“How about you immerse yourself in a shower, bro?”

“I might be 29 years old with dementia, ‘cuz I forgot entirely what the fuck I was gonna say!”

“You did not find your jaw under your bed.”

“The tooth fairy should give you a Dodge Charger if you put your jaw under your bed.”

“Kentucky is literally just farming coal, fried chicken, and horses.”

“Physics wasn’t lying, that particle can exist upon observation.”

“If I hear another ‘swas’, I will fire my Kar 98k into oncoming traffic.”

“I’m showing these mortals what’s good.”

“Even your exhale was autotuned.”

“You sound like a Decepticon charging up.”

“That’s not the pitch moving, that’s just me existing.”

“Yeah, this is going great. Suck my fucking dick.”

“The ocean is a soup. Well, it’s filled with microplastics, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“I hit critical mass, bro. My computer just died.”

“I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can’t even get in.”

“Michael Jordan’s classic punchline when he sunk it from three: Shabingus.”

“What the dog doing? Literally crushing an entire metropolis.”

“My wife is the greatest, I really love her. First thing I hear? ‘Cringe’.”

“Parry this, you stupid fuckin’ lizard.”

“I land an 86-hit combo, he hits one haymaker and I just fuckin’ DIE?”

“Go left, you fuckin’ rat.”

“Why are you giggling like a goblin?”

“The rule of God is incoming.”

“Now I know what you meant by ‘the blast radius is YES’.”

“I rob literally everyone I know on purpose.”

“You can’t call me mommy either. You guys are fucking weird.”

“I’m not even shooting that guy, that was so impressive.”

“My brother in Christ, you are witnessing our extinction.”

“That’s him, officer, he wasn’t using the Wii wrist strap.”

“That is, like, the ultimate form of spawn camping.”

“Yeah, because we can barely fuckin’ hear you. Shut the fuck up.”

“That shit was actually giving me a headache a little bit.”

“You are blind in your left eye, don’t talk to us about not having RGB.”

“I’m blind in both eyes, don’t feel bad.”

“Your cat stole your radiator? How does a cat steal a radiator?”

“Nah, bro, he do be certified in HVAC.”

“If you don’t like the dollar fifty hot dog at Costco, you belong in a jail cell. I have nothing else to say to you.”

“I pour the milk, I pour the cereal, and then I get out the bowl.”

“It don’t really matter which one’s first. The bowl is last. Everybody knows that.”

“Blunt force trauma to the head is what killed the very hungry caterpillar?”

“You just made me uncontrollably sneeze.”

“I did not stand a chance. The game was rigged from the start.”

“The fucking brain on this kid!”

“When vehicles are the only thing tethering you to the earth.”

“This silence got me fucked up.”

“Damn, that’s sad as hell. You gotta light up your dinner with a BIC?”

“Nah, it’s been going good these last few months, I got a fourth lighter.”

“I take some chicken noodle Campbell’s soup with me, right? I stick it in the fire and I let the ash get in the soup, and you mix it around, and, I swear to God, it makes it taste better.”

“You know what I do? Not fucking that.”

“That just woke me out of my nap, bro. That brought me to reality.”

“Turn that bullshit channel off, bro, I’m trying to go back to bed.”

“I will fucking kill you if you change the hot dog.”

“It’s really funny when you have to explain what Hamburger Helper is to your wife. She does not understand what it is.”

“Y’all be eating? Shit, I’m over here just breathing, that’s all I get. Good old bowl of air soup.”

“I’m pretty sure [name] had to pay his rent with beans this month.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go drink a gallon of rat poison, I’ll be right back.”

“I’m about to turn you into a fucking Hot Pocket.”

“That lizard took one sip of the McDonald’s Sprite and I was DONE.”

“Why do you laugh like a fucking hyena?”

“Did someone just say unemployment rate falls to zero when you commit genocide on a fucking planet?”

“You can’t glass a fucking planet and say ‘I did it because it solved the unemployment problem’.”

“I now understand why he’s so pissed, bro. That motherfucking bird was outrunning his ass for YEARS.”

“I would be so pissed if all I heard every day: ‘MEEP MEEP’.”

“Make it make sense, dude.”

“Y’all gonna kill me the way y’all talking, bruh.”

“What about that... Mother-motherfucker 43?”

“Ah yes, the ultimate trait in a sniper rifle: A glaring lack of accuracy.”

“You zigged when you should have zagged, my boy.”

“Head empty, only bullet.”

“Give me all the flash grenades you have.”

“Bitch, I’m back out my coma.”

“I am not accepting that reality.”

“Google’s gonna call you an idiot like the fucking computer from Courage.”

“Why am I getting in trouble for speaking the truth?”

“He’s already in jail for second rate shaboingery.”

“Are you talking about the kid that actually went to jail for shaboingery?”

“Imagine being brought in on felony tomfoolery charges.”

“I will admit I was fully aware and cognizant of what I was doing. This was not an accident.”

“You know [name]? He’s allergic to water, dumbass was a fisher for eight years.”

“He’s allergic to water? How? He IS water!”

“Damn, that’s pretty hydrophobic of you. Why would you say that?”

“I need you to put ONE BALL in the hole and you couldn’t land shit!”

“Y’all the type to put fifty dollars down for that stuffed animal, huh?”

“For a second there, I became that meme of that dude sitting in a fast food restaurant just glowing orange.”

“You can’t say the word ‘hamster’ without laughing. ‘Hamster’ is a real word.”

“You’re going to heaven, big boy.”

[6billionyearsold]

Are You Real? (Miguel O'Hara x Reader)

Miguel x Reader (Potentially will add Part 2?)

Alternate Universe, they were married to eachother in their respective universes but died. Reader lost Miguel in her universe and became Spiderwoman. An anomaly reaches your universe and you meet Miguel from earth-928. You're both so shocked to see eachother.

Fluff, angst, death

"Dios mio, what the shock are you supposed to be?" You looked at the man standing in front of you, unamused, "Un payaso de rodeo?"

You were just trying to stop this weird villain that came out of nowhere when a portal opened up on the rooftop. Out came a large man in a blue and red suit, a woman on a motorcycle, and two . . . Kids?

One of the kids in a black suit started laughing hysterically at your comment, while the other's eyes widened. You could feel the waves of anger seething off of the tall man, his eyes seemed to bore into you from behind his mask.

You smirked, walking backwards towards the edge of the building, "Well whatever you are, you're in my way." You let yourself free fall before shooting a web from your wrist and swinging towards the havoc being had below you.

Miguel has put up with a lot of shit in his line of work. But that? That was a first. "Pinche mocosa" he growled as he went after you. A rodeo clown? He was seething. Sure when he first put on his suit it was for the Dia de Muertos celebration, but it didn't look too ridiculous. Right?

The other spiders watched you with great interest as they followed suit. Your swinging style was almost identical to Miguel's, which was really weird. As he swung beside you, it was almost as if you were in sync. The only difference being that you weren't 6'9 and hulkingly huge. Yours was almost graceful, the way you weaved through disaster vs how Miguel seemed to barrel through it.

You landed on top of the giant lizard-person-thing before it could even notice you.

"Now where did you come from?" You asked, wrapping web around it's maw so that it couldn't bite. "I thought the rumors about sewer gators in Nueva York were fake? Welcome to the genetically altered club pal!"

Miguel's eyes widened as you flexed your talons and your mask fell back to reveal the lower half of your face, and your . . . Fangs? What the fuck was happening? And why couldn't he stop focusing on the way your tongue ran over the sharp canines. It brought back a rush of memories of y/n, but he knew it couldn't be true. The dark scar on your upper lip didn't belong to the y/n he knew. She had died years ago.

Miles gasped, "OH God, there's another Miguel?! The multiverse doesn't need more!"

Miguel turned around to glare at him, starting to say "Callete, there can't be another one of me!" When he got slapped by the monster's tail and flung into the nearest building.

But he didn't miss the smile that appeared on your face as you laughed at him. It ached something fierce in his heart, and he had to shake his head to clear the thought.

Oh man. This guy is seriously a clown. "If you can't hang then get out of the way!" You called out, hanging onto the bucking lizard like it was an angry bull. The other spiders were helping corral it, quickly wrapping it in web and subduing it.

"Does this belong to you guys?" You asked, hopping down from the beast and landing in front of the other spider people. Miguel had made his way out of the rubble and was stalking towards the group. He might have been a little embarrassed. He doesn't get caught off guard normally. "You should really keep your giant lizards more secure. And fed. And. Out of my city preferably."

Jess went on to explain the multiverse to you, and their purpose as you took it all in.

"OH, so you must be their leader then!" You smiled at her, then pointed to Miguel. "He needs some pointers. Is he new?"

And suddenly, Miguel was in your bubble, towering over you with his broad shoulders obscuring your view. He grabbed your face, much to your dismay, and pushed at your lip until he could see your fangs. He tilted his head, turning your face side to side before he seemed satisfied. Then he grabbed your wrist, causing you to clench so he didn't activate your spinneretts.

"Hey buddy, don't you have any manners?" You growled, trying to yank your arm back from his strong grasp. "You don't see me groping you for fun!"

He pushed the fat of your palm and your talons flexed from your fingerpads, against your will. You had a strange sense that he was smirking under his mask at your discomfort. And it only pissed you off even more.

"Alchemax experiment?" He asked, releasing you finally and looking you up and down. "Stone is a piece of shit?"

You didn't like that he knew so much about you and you knew nothing about him. "What are you, a shocking mind reader?" You turned away from him to face the other spiders who were setting up to head back home. "Did you guys want to get something to eat before you go? I've never met any other spider people before!"

Miguel started to say how they need to go, but Jess interrupted him, tossing you a blue bracelet. "You can come with us, we have a great cafeteria and I'm sure the boss has more questions for you. I know I do."

.

You got a tour of the building, ooing and awing over everything and everyone. Miguel had gone to his lab, probably to sulk or something, Miles informed you.

"El se llama Miguel?" You asked Miles around a mouthful of empanada. It was a really weird coincidence, you thought, but it couldn't be more than that. A coincidence. You were in Nueva York. There were hundreds of Miguels.

"Yeah! He's our leader around here. He actually asked me to bring you to him at the end of the tour. Are you ready?" The younger boy said chipperly as he walked you through a long corridor.

You smiled and waved at some spider people you passed, it was really nice to know that you weren't alone. "As ready as I'll ever be!"

You arrived at a large door and Miles gave you a salute before heading off on his own. "Just a heads up, the lift is SUPER SLOW when he comes down!" He called out as he left. You felt yourself getting nervous. Another Miguel in your life? Whoever he was, it couldn't get any weirder than discovering hundreds of other spider people exist and so do multiverses. You wondered if there was a multiverse where you hadn't lost your husband. Where you had a kid or two and didn't have to worry about villains of the week, your identity, closing yourself off to everyone else.

The doors opened and you called out into the abyss. "Helloooo? Sulking spiderman? Miles said you wanted to see me?"

The light was comfortably low in this room, almost as if it was made for your overly sensitive eyes. You saw the lift that Miles was talking about, and the payaso from earlier slowly descending with it.

Your heart felt like it stopped in your chest as you saw him this time. From behind, you got a good look at a very familiar head of beautiful curly brown hair before he turned to look at you, unamused. You fucking gawked. It wasn't a coincidence.

"Miggy?" You gasp, eyes welling with tears as you looked at the man in front of you, now unmasked. "How--I buried you!" You fully took off your mask and revealed your face to him, using everything in your power not to grab him and never let go.

"Y/N?" He asked slowly, taking a tentative step towards you, as if he wasn't sure you were real. "Is it really you?" He reached out a hand towards you, it was shaking with emotion and you noticed that his eyes were getting teary also.

You caved, a sob wrenching itself from your lungs as you leaped towards him and wrapped around his middle. You shoved your face into his neck and breathed in the scent you thought was long gone. Memories flooded your thoughts, flashes of time you got to spend together before he was taken from you. Before you became Spiderwoman. When he was killed in front of you, it felt like you lost a part of yourself.

His arms wrapped around you instantly, familiar and comforting. Rationally, he knew that you weren't HIS y/n but God if this wasn't almost the same. You still fit in his arms perfectly, you smelled the same, you still had the same crooked smile. When he lost you, it truly broke his heart. It hardened him against ever seeking love again, the way you were cruelly ripped from his grasp. But he would allow himself this moment at least. You could talk later, just knowing that another y/n exists and is a Spiderperson . . . He couldn't believe it.

After holding eachother for what simultaneously felt like forever and only an instant, you looked up at him. "You're not . . . MY Miguel . . . are you?" You murmured into his shoulder as he ran his hands along your back like he used to. There were subtle differences that you started to notice when you really looked at him. His eyes were red, he had fangs like yours too. But mostly, he looked beyond tired, as though he had been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. The Miguel you knew wasn't a Spiderperson, he was one of Alchemax's greatest minds, but didn't have any superhuman abilities otherwise.

In your universe, you'd gotten married after being together for 3 years, you'd talked about starting a family when one night he was shot by a mugger while you were walking home. You weren't able to save him, he died in your arms as you screamed for someone, anyone to help. After that, you dove even further into your work at Alchemax, trying to bring the company down from the inside. When they found out what you were doing, they decided to experiment with you as their human subject for splicing animal genetics with humans. That night, you became the Spiderwoman you are today. You escaped the lab and set out to make Nueva York a better place. It had been years and you'd never let yourself love again.

He sighed and fished out the necklace he wore under his suit, showing you the ring on it. "I'm from Earth-928," he said quietly, "In my universe we were married and had been together for 5 years until you were killed in front of me."

You gave him a sad knowing smile as you also pulled out your own ring that you wore on a chain. "It was in front of the convenience store on 6th, right? A random robbery gone bad. God Miguel, even if you aren't the person I knew it's just nice to . . ."

"Hold you? I know, no se siente real." He finished for you, holding the ring that you wore and observing it. "Did I ask you at the flower festival? In fall?" It was the same one he gave you in his universe. The inscription was there, glinting in the low light. 'Forever Yours'.

"And we got married in the Spring," you hummed, "Everyone was there, it was wonderful. I haven't let myself think about it in years, honestly. And I'll always remember that you cried during our vows. I did too, of course."

You sighed, running your fingers down his face and tracing the frown lines that were unfamiliar to you. "I know it's probably selfish to ask, but can I maybe . . . Stay a little while? I've never met other spider people and maybe since you and I seem to be spliced the same . . . I'd love to see any tricks you have that I haven't learned."

Miguel gave you a genuine smile, tilting his face into your touch and nuzzling your fingertips. "After you called me a shocking rodeo clown?" He teased you, one eyebrow lifted as if in a challenge. "You may not be my y/n but you sure dish it like her. Of course you can stay, I've missed you querida hermosa. We could do some . . . Catching up?"

[brainyxbat]

Chapter 7: False Fortitude! Camu, Rebel Soldier at Heart!

(episode 99)

Once the ship stopped, the anchor was dropped into the sand. "Ahead is a village called Ido," Barbarossa informed, "You should be able to get water there."

"Huh? You're not coming?" Luffy asked.

"We sand pirates can't go any further ahead. This land belongs to the people who've lived and died here for generations, you see."

"Is that how it is?"

"Yeah. The desert is the land of the free. But not everyone can survive in the harsh desert. The village ahead is a place where such people eke out a living."

"So, what're you gonna do?"

Barbarossa's umbrella popped open. "Nothing much! We've freely lived as we pleased on this ocean of sand, and that's what we'll keep on doing!"

Luffy laughed. "That's just like us, then!"

"Yeah? That's great!"

-

"So long!"

"Take care!"

"See ya, old umbrella guy!" Luffy waved, as he walked backwards.

"They were great guys!" Nami remarked.

"Yeah!" Usopp agreed.

"By the way, where'd your brother go?" Sanji asked Luffy.

"Dunno. But he's Ace. Nothing to worry about. He'll suddenly show up again out of nowhere!"

"Why do you keep making such groundless claims?" Nami snarked.

Luffy chuckled. "Anyways, let's hurry to this Udo village!"

"You mean Ido."

"Ido?"

"Yeah."

From the village, the sand pirates' flag was discovered. "Th-that's a desert pirate flag! Crap! I gotta tell Big Bro!"

-

"Hey!" The crew looked ahead, and to their surprise, Ace was approaching on a purple lizard, hauling a sled of food. "Hey!"

"Ace!" Luffy ran up to him with joy.

"He's back!" Venus swooned.

"That's where he was?" Nami remarked.

"What is this thing?"

"Oh!" Ace slid down to the ground. "So you're the sand pirates?"

"Huh? What do you mean? We just left the sand pirates."

"Oh? Really? Well, whatever. Anyways, great news, Luffy! I brought plenty of food and water!"

"Oh!" Sanji grinned, as he and Zoro walked up. "Much appreciated! This should be more than enough for a good while!"

"Ace is incredible," Usopp remarked, as the witch and navigator jumped down from Lashes' back.

"That's for sure!" Nami agreed. "He's nothing like a certain little brother we know!"

"You can say that again."

"I was so thirsty," Chopper panted.

"Oh! Drink up, drink up!"

"Me too!"

"Umm, Ace-san?" A concerned Vivi addressed him, as she slid down. "I assume you don't have the money for that. Don't tell me you stole it from that village."

"Nothing of the sort! The rebel army gave it to me!"

Vivi gasped in shock. "The rebel army?!" Luffy and Chopper looked up from guzzling down water.

"Well, I should say "clearly fake rebel soldiers", to be more precise."

"Eh?"

"Fake? What do you mean?" Nami asked.

"Basically, they call themselves rebel soldiers, and were hired to protect the village. The villagers are so grateful, that they've been completely fooled. They're really just some hoodlums."

"And they're bodyguards?" Nami confirmed. "Wouldn't they get found out right away?"

Ace shrugged one shoulder. "Apparently, the mere mention of the rebel army will send most bandits running. It's real convenient. Makes money and prestige come rolling your way on its own."

Luffy silently straightened up, as Vivi's head hung low. "Rebel soldiers aren't hoodlums, nor does the title serve as decoration."

Sanji smoked a cigarette. "Vivi-chan, should we teach 'em a lesson?"

"I dunno," Ace replied, "Duping the villagers isn't so different from what bandits do. At the very least, the villagers live in peace with them around. Should we get 'em just the same?"

"But, big brother. Consider it from Vivi-chan's perspective. Surely you'd want to pulverize people like them."

"Yeah, she should do what she wants," Ace agreed with Sanji, "I only gave my own thoughts."

"There's no reason to cover for these bastards."

"I'm not. I just know you guys are in a hurry here."

"Now that the kingdom can't keep watch over every little place, there's nothing wrong with villages upholding public safety on their own whenever possible."

"Then..."

Vivi turned back to Nami with a smile. "No, I want to test them first."

"Test?"

"Yes. If these imposter rebel soldiers truly wish to protect the villagers, I don't think it matters what they call themselves."

"So you want to test what's in their hearts, huh?" Ace asked.

"Yes. So, I hate to ask, but there's something I'd like you all to do."

Sanji gave an assuring smile. "No sweat, Vivi-chan!"

Luffy beamed with excitement. "Alright! Things are getting interesting now!"

"Eh?! It's going to get interesting?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Hold on, Luffy! This isn't going to be a game! Understand?!"

"Yeah, I get it!" He assured. "We're basically gonna beat these fake rebel guys up, right?!"

Sanji groaned in frustration. "He doesn't understand a thing! Someone do something about him!"

-

"H-hey, Big Bro. Are you serious about this?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course he isn't serious."

"Shut up, you guys! Once we've left town, we run in the opposite direction of the pirates! We run to our last gasp! What other way is there?!"

"That's for sure."

Ace smirked, as he heard them walking away, before turning to the crew. "You're good to go."

"Yes!" Venus whisper-cheered. "Operation: Expose the Fakers is a go!"

"That's a stupid name," Nami sneered, earning a glare from the shorter girl.

"Says the one who named a camel "Lashes"," Zoro retorted in her defense, before turning to Ace. "What's the plan?"

"The leader's hoping to run in our opposite direction, so we won't give him one at all. We'll have him and his buddies completely surrounded."

"Brilliant plan, Ace!" Venus gushed.

With that, they headed off to meet their new adversaries, as he stayed put. Before long, they stopped at a gate resembling the cat monster they encountered a while earlier, with a teal-scaled door. As they assembled, Venus noticed the other girls staying back. "Good luck, guys!" Nami gave a thumbs-up.

Venus approached her with her arms crossed. She wasn't about to have Vivi join the fight, but Nami wasn't hiding without at least being interrogated, if not dragged out. "And what'll you be doing??"

"Observing! Maybe you should too!"

"Hell no! I'm not sitting back like a rock."

"Nami-san is right, Venus-chan," Sanji chimed in, "Both of you stay safe with Vivi-chan, and the dumb camel."

"No! I'm not standing back like a coward!" She defiantly stood between Zoro and Chopper.

After just a brief moment, they heard voices. "Shh! They're here!" Venus whispered.

"Alright. We've got one shot at this. Once we're out, immediately figure out which direction is pirate-free, and then run for your lives! Got it?!"

"Gotcha, loud and clear!"

"Here goes! One! Two! Three!"

To their horror, they were surrounded, with Luffy in front. They turned to their right, but Usopp and Sanji blocked that path. To their left stood Zoro, large-formed Chopper, and Venus. "Get 'em, get 'em, rebel army!" The mayor cheered.

'Give that a rest, will ya?!' Tears of fear fell.

The tallest man noticed Venus'... lack of stature. "Get the small one first," He whispered.

"But I think it's a girl," The round, shortest man whispered back.

"Doesn't matter!"

"What's that?! You're a rebel soldier?!"

Camu stiffened at Luffy's burning question. "N-no, nothing of the sort! We're just travelers passing through!"

The mayor jumped on the concrete doorway. "Say your prayers, sea pirates! These rebel soldiers are gonna make mincemeat out of you!"

"Be quiet, you!" Camu snapped after hanging his head in despair.

"Right! How utterly rude of me! Good luck, Camu-sama!"

"He seems especially spineless to me," Nami remarked, "Doesn't seem reliable at all."

"Yes," Vivi agreed, "Are you sure about this?"

"It might be best for the village if we take care of them now. A little more. Let's watch things just a little more."

"Get 'em, rebel soldiers!" The villagers cheered from above the door. "You can do it!"

"Hey!" Luffy gained the group's attention, now glaring. "You really are rebel soldiers after all!"

"N-no, it isn't, uhh..." Camu stammered fearfully.

"W-what now, Big Bro?"

"We lost our chance to escape."

Ace smirked from where he hid. "Hey, you guys!"

"Ace-sama?" Hearing his voice, Camu and his buddies looked around for him, now hopeful.

"Please help."

"This is your fight. Try to get through it on your own."

"We can't do that! We're fakes!"

"If you're men, act like it! How long are you gonna keep up this petty crap of yours?"

"What do we do, Big Bro?"

"Wh-what do you mean, what do we do?" Camu glared in Luffy's direction. "We have no other choice now, but to lie our way out of this, imposter-style!"

"Imposter-style?"

"Listen, you! Don't be shocked by what I have to say! We're not the only rebel soldiers here!" Nami and Vivi listened with the villagers in curiosity. "In the village, there are... 100 million more soldiers like us!"

The villagers gaped in surprise, but the crew weren't convinced. "Oh geez," Usopp griped, "That's worse than a kid's lie."

"You're no one to talk," Sanji snarked.

Luffy, though... "What?! 100 million?!"

"Hold on, you!" Usopp and Sanji raged. "That's not even believable! He's obviously bluffing!"

"What?! It's a lie?!"

"Obviously!"

"Oh, it was a lie?" Chopper sighed in relief.

"That's good," Venus smirked.

"Oh, geez!" Zoro complained.

"You!" Luffy glared at Camu. "How dare you trick me?!"

"Damn! They realized I was lying!"

"Did you really think that would fool them?!" The tallest man glared.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" Luffy launched a punch right in Camu's face, knocking him back several feet.

His friends gawked in horror, as his fist was pulled back. "What was that?!"

"He has Devil Fruit powers!"

"One hit knocked him out!"

"Not even rebel soldiers stand a chance against something like that!"

"Luffy, you idiot!" Nami complained. "It's all over if you knock him out!"

"Then what would we do?!" Vivi asked.

Everyone was silent, as Luffy approached the men with a sinister grin. He cracked his knuckles, eager to keep fighting; to everyone's surprise, Camu kept his hand away with a grip on his wrist. "Big bro!"

"Yes, we're fake rebel soldiers. Even if all we want is to be as strong as the heroes we saw as kids, we're just a bunch of scoundrels now. But even if my dream never comes true, I can't take those kids' dreams away!" He glared at Luffy. "Even if I'm no match for you, I'm going to fight so that someday, those kids can beat you all! If my only other choice is to remain a punk in those kids' memories, then I'd rather die as a hero right here!" Luffy grinned, just before he was thrown back by a sudden punch to the face.

"Big Bro!"

The crew looked on in shock. "Bastard!" Sanji glared, before one of the men fearfully approached him. "What's your deal?"

Camu panted, as he watched him. "I'll fight too! Your dream is my dream, Big Bro! We've done all sorts of petty things since we were kids, but you were always there to protect the weak, Big Bro!" He swung a wooden paddle down at Sanji, though the chef jumped out of the way. "Hyaaaa!" Sanji was surprised at the tears streaming down his face. "I-I'll always be there with you, Big Bro! I'm gonna be a hero with you!"

The other two watched in tears. "He's..." The short man muttered.

Now inspired, he and the tallest man took on battle stances, the former donning boxing gloves. "That's for sure! What do we have to lose?! I can show you my spirit, too!"

"Yeah! There's no running away now, anyways!"

"Guys..."

"They're looking different now," Nami noticed, "Though part of it seems because their backs are to the wall."

"Yes," Vivi agreed, "But I don't think they could change like that unless they're holding something dear in their hearts."

"Then, they're okay?"

"Yes, let's go. We'll entrust this place to them for now."

Usopp shielded his eyes at a bright light bouncing into his face; it was a signal given by the two girls. "Hey!" He turned to Sanji. "Retreat! Retreat!"

Camu jumped to his feet in determination. "Sea pirates or not, bring it on! Over my dead body will I let you take one step into this village."

A cross-legged sitting Luffy laughed joyfully. "Yeah, now that's more like it! Now I can go beat up Crocodile without worrying!" He stood up, still happy. "Whew! What a relief!"

"Shut your trap, and come on!" Sanji grabbed him by his clothes, and dragged him away.

"Venus-chan!" Usopp took her hand, and ran with her.

"Those bastards!" Sanji played along with a smirk. "Those are rebel soldiers for ya!"

"I've never seen such strong people before!" Usopp added.

"I suck at plays like this!" Zoro griped.

"W-wait for me!" Chopper panted.

"You win, fellas!" Venus called out.

Camu looked on in confusion, as they ran off. "Wh-what just happened?" He turned back in surprise when the villagers began cheering uproariously.

"Utterly well done, rebel soldiers!" The mayor applauded.

"Do you think it worked?" Venus asked around through her sprint.

Sanji smirked at hearing the cheers behind them. "Seems so, Venus-chan."

"Get up here!" Nami yanked her up by her clothes, and plopped her down in front of Vivi. "You didn't even do anything! You should've just stayed back!"

"Hey, I'd rather step in, and do nothing than stand back like a coward!"

"I was keeping Vivi safe!"

"Lashes was there! Besides, you couldn't keep a fly safe!"

"Hey, Luffy!"

He beamed when Ace caught up with them. "Oh, Ace!"

"How long are we gonna run?! The act's over by now, right?!"

"The way they abandoned their lives was scary," Zoro remarked, with a small Chopper on his shoulders.

Ace smirked, as Luffy laughed joyfully. "I see."

[paganminiskirt]

TALES FROM THE WIP WEDNESDAY CRYPT - NO LODGING FOR THE MAD EDITION

So, guess who finally got some revision done?Hopefully, I’ll be out of this Fucking Lobby Scene soon; I do mean to finish this someday.

Been tagged by @shallow-gravy and @adelaidedrubman these past few weeks; tagging @henbased @florbelles @vasiktomis @deputy-morgan-malone @strafethesesinners @broken-balance-baby @detectivelokis @derelictheretic

“The name, sir?” He didn’t go out of his way to include the honorific, but the man snickers anyways.

“How about Jack Moulton.” He says it like the punchline of a joke. “Don’t think I’ve used that one before.”

Mindlessly Joseph hums an agreement, fiddling with the register. The name on the card is “Adrian Solossa” - what even is that, Spanish? Faith would know, god I miss her - but he could always say he thought it belonged to one of his buddies, if the cops ever come knocking on behalf of whoever’s pocket it was plucked from.

“William Peyton still owns this motel, yes.”

Of course, this is a friend of his boss, the living wax statue. “He does”

The man - Jack draws back from the desk, finally, swiping up the keys. “Tell him Hoyt is here in the morning. Hoyt, not Jack. Let him come by and say howzit.”

He’s got no goddamn clue what the last part of that sentence was, but he catches his real name, the archaic, viking-ish Hoyt. He’s handled people who used fake names before, husbands two-timing their wives and lot lizards from miles up the road, two distinct types of whore. Hoyt’s a bit old to be a gigolo, his friends a bit underdressed; a pimp from out of town and his security, maybe. It would explain why it seems he’s supposed to feel honored.

Jack or Hoyt or whatever he is pushes himself up off the table, the motion a greater mercy than anything Joseph’s seen since coming out here.

“Go unlock the door on 235 and turn the heat on.” He tosses the key to the sunburn, who catches them seamlessly, somehow still sharp. “Bring the floppy haired yokel with you, he can carry the bags.”

He kicks the glass door open unceremoniously, hovering a bit in the threshold to cock his head in Joseph’s direction.

“Do that quickly for me, eh?” One ugly blue eye winks, pleased with himself from the looks of it. “Long night.”

The door falls shut behind him, a draft brushing Joseph’s cheeks as he watches him disappear into the dark.

As quickly as he can, Joseph wriggles his arms into his hoodie and slinks out from behind the desk, some exhaustion seeping back in now that the shock has worn off. Helping his weird friend settle in must mean something to his boss, he decides, and Joseph is doing him a favor working with a scalded hand as is - once this is over, he’ll stay outside to smoke a cigarette. He’ll spend what’s left of the shift doing what he likes.

He’s already halfway to the door by the time the sunburn hauls himself out of his chair with a grunts. A shockwave of chilled, breathable air washes over him as he drags it open, and he sucks it in greedily, even as his body tenses.

This stretch of land always has a languidness to it, but at night the desert drops all pretensions of life and slips into dreamless sleep. In the half-year since he drifted out here, the road has seen no cops, no buses and no cars worth more than 5K. He buys his food from the same place where his coworker puts gas in her car, steals appliances from the Hotel’s stock when his own break down. Every so often, a coyote will go behind the dumpster to gnaw bones or have pups, but they never settle here, no more than the clientele. Joseph is attendant to a dusty, transient purgatory, locked down where the guys he came to Texas with have long since passed through.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do, if something happens to him.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up Episode 2: Shall I..? and Ditto

Hello and welcome back to my current obsession, my MNET Build Up Recaps! In the previous one, we wrapped up episode 1. In this one, we’re starting episode 2. Let’s do it!

We kick things off with Dahee saying that Wendy had to leave because of her schedule, so for the rest of the performances today, only five judges will be judging. 

The first song to be performed will be…

Shall I Love You Again? (다시 사랑한다 말할까), originally by Kim Dong-ryul 

Shall I Love You Again? Also is known by the English translation “Shall we begin again,” which is a bit more palatable, I think. As far as I can tell, it came out in 2008. 

Per MNET’s translations of its captions, it’s “a song where the unique sensitivity of the original song and the digestion of profound and heavy bass are the key.” Um. Okay, sure. What’s interesting is that is exactly what google translate makes of the caption as well, suggesting that the translations are being generated via google translate.

Kim Dong-ryul, the original singer, is also the original singer of the song Drunken Truth, which I know as the song that Chen sang when he went on King of Masked Singer. So there’s that connection for me. Kim Dong-ryul apparently writes/composes/arranges all his own songs, so good for him! 

Vocal Coach Guy is a bit concerned about the song choice. “Isn’t this a bit retro?” he asks. “It needs to be clean to sound cool. It might not sound right to vocalists these days.” I mean, isn’t that a critique that could be made of most of these songs? IDK.

The guys come up from backstage, holding hands. 

Filmed as usual on one of MNET’s glorious Idaho russets. 

The judges are surprised to see Yeo One. “Pentagon?!” Baekho says. Hey, buddy. You are the LAST one to be surprised if a reasonably well established idol shows up on a reality survival show. 

Yeo One appears to be their spokesman, and they give a cute introduction as “Barista.” 

Kim Seohyung , Kim Seongjeong

Yeo One, Yoon In Hwan

Yes, I would like a cup of coffee. Unless it is between the hours of midnight at 5am, I probably want a cup of coffee. Thank you. You have my vote. 

Solar repeats, “Ba-ree-sta?” as if she doesn’t know what it means. Girl, didn’t you watch Coffee Prince? 

Yeo One explains that since they’re baritones and stars, they’re baristas! Ok, I give you that. You win, Yeo One. You win. 

Kim Seohyung the musical actor says he wants to make the stage shine with his warm voice. In my initial write up of him, I said that he has that classical “musical actor” voice that I don’t tend to like much. I said that I thought he belonged in the power category, not the unique category. We barely saw him on episode 1, but for some reason I get the sense that he’s a funny guy with an interesting personality. 

Kim Seongjeong again says that he has vocal, physical, and musical skills, then does a spin on one foot. He’s also a musical actor, and you may remember him as our adorable leaping lizard from episode 1. I said that his singing style isn’t the kind that I tend to respond to, but I respect its rich timbre and his excellent breath support. Plus, the leaping! We love the leaping. 

Yeo One says, “I’m Yeo One from Pentagon, and I’ll touch your heart with a warm tone like a vanilla latte.” Interesting that he says he’s in Pentagon still -- nice to have that confirmed. In my intro recaps, I said that Yeo One has a light, charming vocal color and a lovable vibe. He’s not a powerhouse vocalist, but he’s nice to listen to.

Yoon Inhwan shows a few exaggerated facial expressions and says, “From sad to happy, I’m a ballad singer who can pull off any genre.” Yoon Inhwan’s teaser performance was easily my least favorite. I really don’t care for his thick vocal color, but he has a powerful voice and a good sense of pitch. Learning that he specifically classifies himself as a ballad singer helps explain my personal dislike of his singing style. I’m sorry if anyone out there really likes the way he sings -- I’m not saying it’s objectively bad, I’m just saying that subjectively, I don’t like it much. But he seems to also be a funny, interesting guy. 

Vocal Coach Guy notes that all four have similar vocal ranges, then asks if they have a strategy to be chosen top tier. That cues the flashback…

Kim Seongjeong, our leaping lizard, chooses the song first; he was in fourth place and had an early pick. Next was Yeo One, who actually only got one vote fewer than Jay Chang and finished in 11th place. Soon after, Kim Seohyung joined, and then 24th place Yoon Inhwan joined. This was the third song to fill up, after Ditto and Tomboy, making it a pretty popular choice. 

Seongjeong chose the song because it suits his vocal range, but we find out that Yeo One chose it because he really wanted to work with Seongjeong. 

I think Seongjeong is really flattered -- I mean, Yeo One is pretty darn famous, so it’s always a good feeling. 

Turns out that Kim Seohyung, who Seongjeong and Yeo One call “The one with the coat,” is also a big fan of Seongjeong’s voice, and wants to work with him too. We learn that Kim Seohyung is a “newbie musical actor who debuted 0 years ago.” 

Seohyung doing some musical acting.

And once Inhwan joins, it’s a team full of good feelings!

We see a pretty short montage of them rehearsing and all promising to win this one. 

And then we dive in to the performance!

Here’s the version without all the reactions. 

My thoughts:

Will the great dog please grant me the patience to listen to all these ballads. I really, really hate this song. Sorry if it’s your thing, it’s just really not mine. Ok, let me try to talk about their performances. 

Overall, they were very good. Their voices were all fairly similar, so they blended pretty well. Also, it’s nice to hear some baritones in an industry that’s obsessed with high notes. 

Three of them are musical actors and they really sound like musical actors to me. Seongjeong, our leaping lizard, has the fullest, richest voice and it is in fact quite nice to listen to. Seohyung sounds similar, but not quite as rich and full. I can see the appeal of the way they sing, even if it’s not necessarily what I want to listen to most of the time. 

Seohyung, left, and Seongjeong, right. 

Yeo One was obviously trying really hard, and his voice was a lot fuller than I would have thought it could be. It was a little sharp, not in pitch but in quality, but it made a nice contrast to the others. His throat sounded a little tight, like he was straining, and he seemed to run out of breath on longer notes and at the end of lines. His comparative lack of training stood out, unfortunately. I’d love to see him just work with a vocal coach more, because his natural tone is very pretty. 

Inhwan was a lot better than he was in the teaser, without as much of that closed throat sound that he’d had initially. I still wasn’t wild about his performance, unfortunately. 

You guys, I’m so sorry, I just can’t say much more about this because I just hate this song so much that I can’t listen to it again. Forgive me. 

The MNET edit, as usual, emphasizes how great they are. There were some unhappy reactions from Eunkwang when Yeo One was singing, but that’s about it. 

Solar looked like she was going to cry at one point.

“I just hate ballads so much.” -- Solar, maybe

When they’re done, the judges and the boys back stage all applaud politely. They enjoyed the performance, but weren’t necessarily blown away by it. I don’t think that’s totally the singers’ fault.

When they’re done, the first thing the Vocal Coach Guy (VCG) says is that this is a difficult song to sing, and was made to be sung by one person, not four. Isn’t that true of a lot of songs, though? A ton of songs sung by groups are pretty personal. 

VCG goes on to say that Seongjeong sang it like a musical and did everything right.

Then Dahee asks Eunkwang what he thought of Yeo One, given that they’re from the same agency (Cube) and Eunkwang is Yeo One’s sunbae. There’s a bit of a pause, and then Eunkwang says, “I think you need to practice a little harder. I thought you should dig into the song in more detail.”

If you look closely, you can actually *see* Yeo One’s broken heart. 

The editors play clips and we hear the same notes that ended a bit too soon and didn’t have quite enough support. Yep, that’s what I noticed too. 

Hey, Eunkwang. You know that Cube doesn’t really help its artists in any way. Why don’t you help out your hoobae and offer more specific advice? I hope they meet later on and talk about it because Yeo One won’t get more trained just by wanting it more. That’s not how training works. 

After that, Eunkwang continues his “piss off BPR-Noona” shtick by saying that he liked Inhwan best. What in the…?

Solar praises Seohyung the most. She says that she got a bit emotional listening to the performance, maybe because of their desperation, she’s not sure. They say thank you. 

It’s time to vote for top tier. The judges seem to be torn between Seongjeong and Inhwan. I’m in crazy land.

The votes come in, and it’s…

… a tie.

Baekho and Solar vote for Inhwan, VCG and Eunkwang vote for Seongjeong, and Jaehwan unexpectedly votes for Yeo One. I bet he had some kind things to say about him, too, but the editors wanted to make it look like Yeo One was terrible and only showed Eunkwang criticizing him.

Backstage, Lim Jun Hyeok (former Day6) and Choi Ha Ram from team Breath joke that because the song is by Kim Dongryul, the score would be tied. The joke is that the name Dong Ryul sounds like the Korean word for “tied” as in tied score.

Dahee asks for a revote to break the tie, and the revote is really interesting.

Baekho and Solar both change their votes from Inhwan to Seongjeong.

VCG and Eunkwang hold steady with Seongjeong. 

And Jaehwan, ever the maverick, votes for Inhwan this time. 

So the top tier was chosen -- it’s our leaping lizard Seongjeong! I’m glad -- I’ve come to like his voice, even if it’s not what I normally gravitate to. But it’s got to kind of hurt for the other guys.

Eunkwang tells Seongjeong that he’s heard that Seongjeong doesn’t have much training, which surprises me a lot. Eunkwang says that Seongjeong can continue to develop his skills on this show. Hey Eunkwang, can Yeo One develop his skills? Or do you hate Pentagon for being younger and slightly more popular these days than you are? Is that the problem, Eunkwang? I’m sorry, team, but I’ve never liked this guy much and the more I see of him, the more I feel sure of it. I’m sorry if you’re a big fan of his. Maybe I’m misjudging him. But I can only judge what I see. 

Dahee asks Seongjeong how it feels to take top tier. He says he’s a little embarrassed because he needs to work harder. VCG tells him not to be so sad -- he won! I like VCG, you guys, even if I am physically unable to learn his name.

Almost immediately we dive into our next performance, and it’s…

Ditto

When the song is announced, the boys backstage begin singing the opening “hoo-hooo” like a wolf howl.

“Wooo-hoooo…”   LTR: Gwangsuk, Joohee, Inhyuk, all from team Tomboy

The judges wonder how it can this cover even be done? I guess they mean that it’s tricky because it was originally performed by young girls, but for me, I see a different difficulty. 

To me, Ditto is a weird choice for this competition because it’s not really a song -- it’s more like the idea of a song. It’s like the imprint of a song on a couch cushion after a song sat there for a while. It’s like a faint ring in the tub after a song took a bath there. It’s like the heat in a pile of blankets after a song slept there. It’s almost a song, but not quite. It’s the La Croix of songs. 

I’m not saying I dislike it. I mean, I like La Croix. It’s just that I don’t hear much in the way of chords. It’s kind of just a melody and a drum beat. So I’m not really sure how it could be rearranged. 

But of course, I understand the draw of picking it. It’s mostly in English, which would make it more appropriate for idol singers used to singing in English, and anyone like Jay or Soomin who is actually American. It also was a monster hit. A MONSTER hit. For me, the best song by New Jeans is obviously Attention but I don’t run the world, and everyone else likes Ditto, so, so be it. 

And everyone also loves Hype Boy, including VCG, who apparently was filmed at some point doing a dance cover of that song.  Cute. 

The Ditto team takes the stage, and they are full of MZ looks, apparently.

I had to look up what MZ meant, and apparently it is a combination of the two terms “Millennials” and “Generation Z” and is used in Korea as a generally broad term for younger people. It might also suggest young people who are on-trend…? More information requested. 

They all introduce themselves. Wumuti does his little Wumuti dance. You know, this one? 

..but more subdued.

“Chonin.. Wumuti-ti-ti-ti-ti…” 

VCG is like he’s still doing this? It’s a little cringey, actually. 

Woong announces himself as MNET’s would-be son, continuing his narrative. They’ll adopt you someday, Woong!  

Seokhoon says, “I’ll land in your hearts like a bolt of lightening.” 

Soomin says he’s a a singer-songwriter who looks like a goldendoodle. 

We see a flashback of the voice check and learn that throughout, Soomin was laid back, languid, almost asleep. Was he jet lagged? 

Our sweet Sunyoul from Up10tion interviews, “There was a guy with a beanie that seems to have a free soul. A real MZ from the United States. People like him tend to be really good singers.” I don’t know, Sunyoul. I’ve met a lot of American free spirits in beanies and with guitars who definitely are not good singers. Spend enough time at youth hostels and you will meet one million of them.

We see that Soomin introduced himself in English: “Hey guys, I’m a singer songwriter, 19 years old, from Chicago Illinois, Jung Soomin, nice to meet you.”

I love the look on their faces in the background. 

We’ve seen him use Korean pretty well, so why introduce himself in English? It feels like a weird power play. But maybe he said it twice, once in each language, for all we know. Regardless, it is a revelation to learn he’s 19 -- I got the sense he was quite young but I don’t know if I would have guessed quite that young. 

Since Soomin tied for fourth place, he was the first to choose Ditto. Seokhwa, Woong, and Wumuti all chose it when all other options were open, and this song was one of the first to fill up. 

We see them all introducing themselves so I’ll mention all their ages. Woong is 26 and Wumuti and Seokhwa are both 24, making the latter two chingus and making Soomin the maknae of this team and one of the two youngest on the whole show. He doesn’t seem to understand what the maknae role entails…. More on that later. 

After Woong and Seokhwa say that they’re in idol groups, Soomin says, “oh, you’re all idols?” And Woong says, “well, Seokhwa and I are idols.” Wumuti says, “I’m a half-idol,” then laughs with sad eyes.  

We cut back to a pre-production meeting, when a staff member asks Wumuti, “Are you working as an idol?” His reply is awful. He says, “ I’m filming challenge dances and whatnot…” Oh noooo. He goes on, “I need to debut. I’m always so close to debut, but it slips away. This time…. The first thought I had was, ‘what if it doesn’t work out?’ “

His eyes are shining with tears as he repeats, “I really want to debut.” 

We cut back to footage from episode one and see him make a beeline for Ditto. This was the song he really, really wanted. Wumuti is smart enough to know that to catch people’s attention, it’s best to cover songs that they already like. 

The team decides to tackle part distribution. (There’s a clip of this on Youtube with subtitles). Both Wumuti and Soomin want the opening part, the “hoo hoo” part. In an interview, Soomin says that Wumuti isn’t his competition, and kind of rolls his eyes a little when Wumuti sings. They both sing, and the other two guys vote for Soomin to take the part. Seokhwa kindly checks in with Wumuti to make sure he’s ok, and Wumuti says he is, but he interviews that he’s screwed. 

We go straight to the performance. 

Here’s the full version WITH reactions. 

Here’s the full version WITHOUT reactions. 

My thoughts: 

Overall, really nice. It’s nice to hear some more pop-style vocals after all the overwrought ballads. 

Soomin does have a really nice voice even if I’m not totally sure about his personality. It’s light and sweet, and manages to be pretty clean while still having some texture. But on the higher notes, when he’s not in his falsetto range, he sounds kind of strained and nasal. He definitely needs to work on that upper mix. It’ll be a real breakthrough for him.

Woong’s voice is rougher, almost husky, yet still smooth, like raw silk. I actually really like it, even if it’s not the official way that singers “should” sing. I like his pop-style take on the chorus vocals. 

Seokhwa has a bit of a rough time here. On the “I got nothing to lose…” he sounds really nasal and strained, like he’s having a hard time making the higher notes even come out. He’s pitchy, too. However, on the lower notes, he sounds much better, and gosh isn’t he cute? Also, his adlib “woah!” right before the end sounded really great. I hope he learns a little more about how to open up his palette to really hit those high notes.

Wumuti sings the best I’ve ever heard him sing. He matches Woong’s vocal color somehow, but brings in more warmth and performance. His little vocal gestures don’t come across as annoying or studied, and I have a low-tolerance for that kind of thing. 

Their harmonies sound amazing, too. 

Side note: 

What is with the whales in the background? Does this song take place underwater? 

In the MNET edit, we see that everyone listening is having a great time. The judges smile at Soomin’s intro, but think that Woong is going too fast. I didn’t really notice that, but I don’t know the song super well.  Eunkwang makes a face at Seokhwa’s weak high notes, but Jaehwan is into all of it.

Backstage, the guys call the music dreamy. Someone says that Wumuti looks like cotton candy. 

Jeong Inseong from KNK dances at his teammate Hwanhee.

“I thought I told you that I Do. Not. Dance.” - Hwanhee, probably 

When they’re done, Eunkwang says, “Difficult,” and Jaehwan says, “Is it too difficult?”

Choi Haram says it’s different to hear this song sung by four men, and Kim Minseo says it’s refreshing. 

Ok, for this part, the good feed I found at ok.ru punked out for a bit so I had to switch to https://wwv.dramacool.vip/build-up-vocal-boy-group-survivor-2024-episode-2-english-sub/ which does not have English subtitles despite what the title says. So it was me and my google-translate-camera again, and I did my best.  

The judging isn’t 100% flattering. 

VCG says something like, “It’s really important for a song to match the singers. And these two guys, Seokhwa and Woong, they’re better than the performance they just gave. You two chose the wrong song!” 

We see a clip of them performing again and the captions tell us that Woong’s voice is husky (true) and Seokhwa’s voice is delicate (true). “It’s a pity that the song selection doesn’t match the tone,” the caption concludes. 

Solar disagrees completely, though. She says she notices that Seokhwa and Woong were doing a little bit of choreography on stage, almost as if they couldn’t help themselves, and she liked it and found it a refreshing change. Yes, they have different vocal tones, but that’s the point of a singing group, that each person brings their own tone. She has a high opinion of their talent. 

Jaehwan says that Soomin has a languid charm. Everyone praises him, and he says thank you, sunbaenim! For some reason, it was wrong for him to do that, because everyone laughs. 

Backstage, Hwanhee jokes with Inseong that he (Hwanhee) could also sing languidly.

He demonstrates, but Inseong points out that all he’s doing differently is making his face look sleepy, and his voice sounds the same.

They all laugh. It really looks like this team is getting along great. I’m looking forward to them, even though I think they’re singing some sort of awful ballad. 

Back at the judging table, Jaehwan goes on to say that he likes how Wumuti kind of did his own thing during the performance. Yes, they were on a team, but Wumuti used it as a chance to do a solo performance -- after all, it’s a competition. 

I’m liking Jaehwan more and more. I feel like he’s been on so many of these competition shows as a contestant that he’s just going to do whatever the fuck he wants now that he’s a judge. He’s just like, “wheee! What’cha’gon’do’bout’it?” 

It’s time for the judges to vote. Eunkwang seems to find it very hard to pick a winner.

And here’s the results…

Baekho, VCG, and Eunkwang all vote for Wumuti. Solar and Jaehwan vote for Seokhwa from WEi. I’m kind of surprised that Seokhwa got that many votes -- I thought his was the weakest performance overall, in terms of technique. 

So Wumuti won! He can’t believe it. Aww! He stands there in shock, and it’s pretty cute. 

VCG says his vocals were very stable, and watching him made him happy. It was a good song choice. 

Dahee asks him how he feels. He answers, “I’m always in good spirits, but practicing for this performance, I thought a lot about how to make it better. I was really worried. So for the next performance, I will study the music and my voice and be more focused. Thank you.” 

The team takes a bow, and as they begin to leave, Jaehwan shouts, “Fighting, fighting!” Seokhwa smiles and makes a sort of “fighting!” gesture in return. 

They walk off stage arm in arm, all congratulating Wumuti, including Soomin.  

So, before we go to the next performance, I just want to talk a little bit more about Soomin and a possible villain edit. The thing is, the kid is American, and in the US we have different social norms. He seems to be pretty fluent in Korean, but seems to prefer English, so my guess is he might speak Korean at home with his parents, but I’d assume he speaks English nearly all the rest of the time. So he’d be learning Korean social norms a bit, but living in American social norms. Add in the fact that he is really talented and likely has been praised a fair bit, and the fact that he’s only 19 and mixing with established idols, this has to be a lot for his brain to process. 

Shows like this aren’t kind to people who come from different social norms. Just look at how the Chinese trainees are treated in MNET edits. Americans also often get misunderstood. Look at what happened to Yunjin on Produce48. I haven’t gotten to those episodes in my Produce48 Rewatch Project yet, but I remember vividly how she acted in a way that seemed perfectly normal to my American eyes but was misunderstood by the Korean public. 

Soomin probably thinks a bit of trash talking is fine and all in good fun. Or maybe he really is so full of himself that he thinks it’s appropriate to trash talk Wumuti, who seems in some way pathetic to him. Maybe. But I hope Soomin doesn’t get too bad of a villain edit, because he is so young, and managing the dizzying highs and horrible lows of being on a show like this would be hard for an adult, and doubly hard for a teenager in a group of 30 year olds. 

I guess we’ll see how this shapes up for him. I hope he figures it out, because he probably has a lot going on in his head right now and he needs to figure out how to get along with everyone if this is going to work out for him. 

And that's all I can fit in this post! I'll see you in the next one, when we tackle Tomboy (not THAT Tomboy).

And if you're enjoying the recaps, please feel free to tell a friend, or share on social media. I know that there are people out there who would like recaps like these if they could find them, so help us get connected. :)

See you soon,

xoxo BPR Noona

[isnt-a-blog-blog]

Artificer

A ferocious beast in the body of prey, Artificer is known for making life her b[REDACTED]h

once a part of a colony in the garbage wastes, artificer was considered a reject among her peers for her unnatural explosive abilities, years later after the colony started massively dwindling, artificer was given 2 young pups to adopt after their former parents were killed and never returned, Artificer tried their hardest to finally do something good for their colony...but disaster struck as one day food was more scarce than usual, eventually crossing scavenger territory, normally the scavengers are, if not allied, at least non-hostile to the slugcats passing their territory, but while searching for food was on a higher priority on Artificer's mind the young blue pup, intrigued by a shiny object, unknowingly stole what belonged to the scavengers, they were hunted for at once for their crimes, despite Artificers best efforts to save them it was all for not as the two pups were killed that day. Feelings of dread turned to guilt as she had failed her colony on the one thing she had been asked for, and guilt turned to ANGER. Artificer would then go on a rampage, decimating uncountable numbers of the scavenger population, but as anger only turned to hatred, she didnt stop there, eventually traveling to the city upon an iterator's can to end what what most important to the scavengers, their king, Afterall they took what was most important to her, she's only returning the favor. Afterwards with nothing more to do she would return home, expecting to be left with nothing, but she was wrong, for her pups had remained there since she thought she lost them, but disaster strikes again as the young pups, frightened at this...unrecognizable beast in their vicinity, attack in fear. Artificer realizing what she's become has come to regret much of what she has done and while many of her mistakes have been corrected including calming her pups and reuniting as a family, she'll never be the same.

Artificer is difficult...short of having known her prior to the incident you'll have to make a very good impression on her to avoid being ignored, or worse, slaughtered. if you are deemed worthy of her acquaintance, you should be fine, artificer is a lot more tame to those she deems acceptable also under no circumstances should you EVER hurt her pups, even if its an accident, Artificer will go nuclear and WILL stab, maul, slash and burn you to a complete crisp

"fun" fact : its possible for her to get angry enough to accidently explode her entire body, this of course will probably get her killed as well as anyone in the near vicinity, signs of an impending explosion are emitting steam, sparks, crackling or hissing noises and her body burning up

likes : being comforted by friends, protecting her family, correcting her mistakes, blowing creatures that are potential threats to smithereens, the scavenger king mask she obtained dislikes : ANYTHING bad happening to her pups, failure, people that are annoying, the scavenger king mask she obtained, scavengers in general still

relationships survivor : "what about him? he's just a common slugcat, the best thing i can say about him is that he's related to Monk and that aint saying much" monk : "you really help me out little buddy, thank you, i really mean it" hunter : "aw yeah you BETTER watch out when we're together, s[REDACTED]t's gonna get WILD up in here" nightcat : "who?...oh that one that always runs away from me? bah screw em" gourmand : "*sigh* gourmand...he's such a well meaning guy isnt he? the things he does for me are just so nice, he's nice to everyone, i love it when i get to give him a hug, it just makes me feel so cozy and calm...i should spend more time with him" rivulet : "Rivulet oh my god shut the f[REDACTED]k up i could beat you in something that ACTUALLY matters like killing lizards, not some video game where you just mash the mouse button for 3 hours" spearmaster : "that guy's got some issues and thats saying something coming from me, eh maybe Monk can fix him" saint : "PFFT, that nerd? listen, Saint has more eye colours than it has brain cells, i aint taking that dipwad seriously, Afterall, im probably close to its breaking point, its not gonna resist my relentlessness forever" enot : "F[REDACTED]K YOU YOU F[REDACTED]KING PEICE OF S[REDACTED]T I HOPE YOU BURN IN THE DEEPEST PIT OF HELL AFTER YOU ASCEND YOURSELF NOW YOU B[REDACTED]H!" the pups : "i wont let anything happen to my little ones ever again, i cant go through the tourment a 2nd time...please"

[paragonrobits]

post-angry post bit where I want to do something positive to counteract the bad feelings from having posted about something that makes me angry (and by definition, having that thing occupy all available mental space and driving out anythign that actually makes me feel happy, at least for a while) and what generally makes me pleased most is talking about my OC team but i haven’t discussed them much at all here so i dont know where to start but imagine this:

There is a guy. You might call him a man, if you like. He certainly looks human; that’s the shape he wears, for now. He is a large man, almost too big to be believed; his body is built (or perhaps shaped) to massive degrees, of heavy musculature and complex tattoos. He looks dangerous, every inch a barbarian warlord from literature. Yet, when he speaks, it is with a very careful diction, every word chosen as precisely as a fired arrow. He uses no contractions, and speaks with formality.

You might imagine a man such as this attending the theater and applauding the dances of a land he visits, and you might also imagine him standing atop a pile of broken tyrants and enslavers, broken under his blades and fists and teeth. Upon his back he wears the skulls of slain foes, each one a memory and testament to a hard won victory; with each one taken, the world is a better place, and he revels in the glory and face won in battle, in the thrill of thundering action and breaking bone.

He is not one, or the other. He is both a cultured gentleman of all the arts, and a ferocious warrior that fights like a wild beast, embracing both savagery and refinement.

And just the same, look at him closely; those are not the eyes of a normal human. They glint strangely in the dark, reflecting light in the same way of a bird... or perhaps something older than birds. Something that was there a long time ago, when the first creatures walked upon land. Something blessed with the power of changing shape, of passion-fueled power.

When the situation is right, he changes shape. Sometimes it is into a beast, something of great importance to him. He becomes a huge and mighty reptilian creature akin to an alligator snapping turtle, or perhaps an actual alligator. Other times he is a hyena, sly and clever and waiting for a chance to sink in those crushing jaws for kin and kith. And still at other times, he is an ordinary housecat, a strong tom too wily to be caught and too tough to be beaten.

These are not shapes he assumes as something apart from him. They ARE him, as genuine and true as the human shape. But then there is the secret; his human form is not a true form. They all a true form, a reflection of facets of being. What is the true form of this man? Does it matter?

(Once there was a creature, long in ancient times.)

And sometimes, he becomes something far bigger and deadlier; feathered beasts larger than a man, with terrible sickle claws and crushing jaws. And something far larger, a beast the size of a house, its teeth as big as bananas; and perhaps underwater as well, a long whale-sized beast like a vast lizard grown to live upon the waves, jaws that are certain death to ships.

(A kin to amphibians, to the disant ancestors of salamanders and frogs. By a twist of fate, he was sealed away in stasis to wait out the eons, for a new time to arise. So he came to the present day, uniquely alone. His culture and people gone for so long that there are no longer anyone that remember them, nor that they ever existed. He is not something that can ever really belong anywhere.

(A monster.

(But to be a monster is not to be something bad.

And a long time ago, he dreamed of being a hero.)

His eyes glow gold.

And around him, his power ignites into a golden radiance rising into the air and around him for a mile, and his shadow is a thousand crawling things with wings and claws and jaws; he is all of them, and they are all him.

He is what he is; a hero, a frightening and terror-inspiring one, but a hero all the same.

[fallenrocket]

Unhatched Observations: Spider-Man

It’s that time again—looking over some of my old blog posts about a story with Big Neurodivergent Energy and realizing how it resonated with me as an “unhatched” autistic ADHDer. Today, we’re looking at Spider-Man, mostly MCU with a dash of The Amazing Spider-Man. ADHD-coded (and maybe autistic-coded?) Peter Parker, how I love you! Plus, bonus autistic-coded MJ! For what it’s worth, Miles Morales reads as ADHD to me too—what is it with these teenage superheroes?—but my old posts on the Spider-Verse don’t really highlight those traits.

Favorite Characters: Peter Parker (The Amazing Spider-Man)

[Peter is] prone to impulsive decisions, he can be stubborn and immature, and his emotions can get the better of him.  […]  He gets distracted by his love life, and when he’s disheartened, his mind can go into “I don’t know what to do!” overdrive, heightened by the trademark Great Responsibility that comes with his Great Power.

***

He’s a genuine smart cookie, designing his web shooters among other techie gizmos (some apropos of nothing—I love the mechanical lock rigged up for his bedroom door,) taking a frequently analytical approach to solving his superhero problems, and just generally being enthusiastic about knowledge, calculations, and experimentation.  He uses his webs to get around and to immobilize baddies, of course, but he also uses them creatively and intelligently to accomplish a variety of goals; I really like how he sets up a network of webs to search for the Lizard in the first movie, along with the relation between webs and electric conductivity with Electro in the second.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

[Tom Holland’s] youth makes the “teenage” part of this teenage superhero really hit home.  We get so used to seeing 25-year-olds play high schoolers that whenever an actor who’s even 18 or 19 comes along to play a teen, it’s astounding how young they are.  And that’s Holland’s Spidey all over.  Whether it’s his awkwardness around girls, his short attention span, or his helpless fear when he really gets in over his head, this Spidey feels genuine in a way that his predecessors, despite their own merits, can’t manage.

Favorite Characters: Peter Parker a.k.a. Spider-Man (MCU)

His awkward teenage problems, like running into his crush in the hallway or getting himself stuck in detention, feel genuine, as does his dorky enthusiasm at all the cool superhero stuff he can do – I love the moments where he’s geeking out with Ned over himself.  This Spidey is every inch a teenager, and that’s reflected in how he agonizes over whether he should investigate bad guys or hang out with a cute girl.  How he makes lame excuses to his aunt and talks himself into doing really ill-advised things.  How he debates the merits of using the suit to impress girls.  How he races into things without thinking and then suddenly realizes he’s going to need a plan when he gets there.

This is a Spider-Man who’s still rough around the edges.  He gets himself in over his head, he sometimes blunders into situations where he doesn’t belong, and he has no idea what to do when he’s in the suburbs and doesn’t have any tall buildings to attach webs to. 

Favorite Characters: MJ

I like that she randomly hangs out in detention (despite not having detention herself) because she “[likes] drawing people in crisis,” and I love that she’s the only kid who doesn’t tour the Washington Monument when the Academic Decathlon team goes to D.C. because she doesn’t want to celebrate something that was built by slaves. Throughout the movie, lots of little moments add up to give her a glimpse of who she is: someone frank, someone deadpan, someone observant, and someone a little bit dark.

***

Not to mention, she doesn’t miss a trick. As Peter works up the courage to tell her that he likes her, she assumes he’s going to tell her his other secret, the one she’s already (mostly) figured out: the fact that he’s Spider-Man. Maybe MJ initially started watching Peter because she had a crush on him, but the things she saw while doing that led her to a correct supposition, and while she wasn’t convinced, she was sure enough to say it out loud to him. That takes a gift for observation, some good deduction skills, and the ballsiness to actually run with what probably seemed at first like a ludicrous theory.

A Few Thoughts on Peter Parker (Spider-Man: No Way Home)

Tom [Holland’s Peter] is the youngest, prone to impulsive/excitable dumb decisions but still a kid with a decent head on his shoulders, one who desperately wants to do what’s right and feels the heavy weight of that responsibility when things go wrong.

Relationship Spotlight: MJ & Peter

We also see that she’s tuned into Peter in a way that a lot of the other kids aren’t: since becoming Spider-Man, he’s given up most of his extracurriculars, a fact that only she picks up on. She puts it down to her observant nature, rather than any personal investment she has in him, but the lady doth protest too much.

***

It’s cute that he very specifically likes her weirdness, planning to get her a dahlia necklace, which is her favorite flower “because of the murders.”

[jin-zixun]

The List of Glee Character and What Starter Pokemon They Would Have I Kind of Referenced in So Did You Hear About Team Star? (that are also canon to that fic)

I'm putting it under a cut because oops its long

Rachel Berry + Popplio : I mean that's kind of the obvious one, right? The sparkling aria? I mean all the Glee kids sing but Rachel is the main character

Finn + Pikachu : He's the everyman all American boy next door and it's Pikachu. Perfect pair.

Quinn + Eevee : The counterpart to the Pikachu, cute and seemingly unassuming but holds hidden potential.

Kurt + Fennekin : Like Eevee, Fennekin is also cute, I just think Kurt belongs with an adorable fluffly little fox that will eventually be able to Psyshock everything in sight.

Mercedes + Oshawott : Really between this one and Piplup, but Samurott has that cool Hisuian Regional form so... Another water type to like, foil Rachel, but more of a cool vibe, and with more obvious fight to it. More masculine, so it could have gone to a boy, but Oshawott and Dewott are really cute also and would look good battling beside Mercedes...

Artie + Rowlet : Hmm something about the sneaky, quiet unassuming presence of the simple owl that becomes a ghostly archer really does it for this pairing. I'm not the biggest Artie fan, but I think if I was, that's what I'd want to highlight, the sleeper talents.

Tina + Grookey : I'd choose Toxel if that was a starter. Tina can have Grookey and Toxel. Get the whole band together Grookey is a cute little drummer that goes hard, especially as Rillaboom, and despite the shy exterior, so does Tina.

Puck + Totodile : Totodile is cool, he's an active little croc and he's pure power and I think Puck would appreciate that when choosing a starter. Also gives him a chance to be the mature one.

Santana + Charmander : Fire power, lonely little lizard, who hits so hard it'll make you ignore it's obvious vulnerabilities. I think they'd lay on the beach together and Santana would hold a parasol above it, just in case it ever rained

Brittany + Chikorita : Sweet, simple, but is one of the best when it comes to taking a hit. The punches just roll right off that one.

Mike + Quaxly : Apart from the obvious, that y'know. It dances, it's flashy in all the right ways and I think Mike would help him with his perfectly coiffed hair (I might be a little biased by Shadowhunters here) ...and yes, the latter point does also make me want to give it to Blaine as well. But... Well, it does dance.

Sam + Froakie : because um. because it's a frog. Also Sam is a nerd and would be so hype over getting a ninja pokemon are you kidding me? Also also, if you're a Samcedes fan... A Samurai and a Ninja, like, it kind of goes together, y'know. Connecting the dots?

Sugar + Scorbunny : It's a bunny! Adorable! A little hyperactive bunny that plays soccer! She'd go to all it's little pokemon games too I bet

Rory + Sobble : idk he just seems like a sobble guy to me.

Dave + Tepig : David is my baby and he's definitely got one of those fire/fighting starters. I think he's primarily a fighting type trainer, because y'know, gotta keep up that tough guy act. He's also got fire type to match with Kurt + Santana. Because of course he does. Plus Kurt calls him Hamhock, so... y'know. Tepig.

Blaine + Snivy : If you've read the pokemon manga there's a scene there where Bianca picks up Snivy immediately and goes "Here's your Snivy ^^" To Cheren, and that's how I feel assigning Snivy to Blaine. Here's your Snivy! (Although Quaxly very close. Especially with the messy hair)

Lauren + Litten : Its a cat that wrestles. There's no... There's no contest here.

Becky + Torchic : It's a chicken that fights. Literal cockfighting. Again. No contest.

Matt + Cubone : Cubone is only a starter in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, but it is the lonely pokemon, I think it's the perfect partner for poor Matt who has almost no lines and is written out and completely forgotten. Poor Matt.

Joe + Bulbasaur : Bulbasaur just seems like a chill little guy, y'know?

Jesse + Chimchar : Doesn't he just seem like the type to have a Chimchar? Or more to the point a Monferno or Infernape, all style, a flaming monkey.

Jacob + Meowth : Another Pokemon Mystery Dungeon starter. Specifically the evil Meowth I think. The one that talks. It gives Jacob bad advice and talks him into morally questionable things.

Sebastian + Piplup : No I won't explain the joke