mememanufactorum

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (March 2024 edition)

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I ACTUALLY READ [name] A BEDTIME STORY AND SHE FELL ASLEEP. I WAS READING FROM MY COLLECTION OF LOVECRAFT SHORT STORIES.

It's the famous gay porn where Billy goes "Hey buddy, leather club is two blocks down".

I don't see how duct tape is gonna stop him.

I have repeatedly offered the Bat™️ for her.

I just knock out his kneecaps with the Bat™️.

There was no style, there was no grace, there was only unga bunga caveman, I respect it. As a fellow grug I respect it.

It's the dementia test. I gave it to a friend in another group and broke him.

It's less a brownie and more like a toffee.

IF YOU BE MARRYING SOMEONE IN A FUCKING WAFFLEHOUSE THAT'S A RIDE OR DIE RIGHT THERE.

I CURSE THEIR BOWELS WITH 'BLIGHTED BOWELS' OF THE 7TH LEVEL. UNENDING AGONY IN THE BATHROOM FOR THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS AGAINST FOOD.

Time to change the definition of stream sniping.

I just came home and something fucky is going on.

I was gonna throw hands with the neighbors but they dispersed before I could.

I FINALLY ACHIEVED DEATH.

IT'S A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LOBBY?

I'm sorry is that bondage gear to just hammer the theme home?

There is now a demand for Bravern.

Okay so you kneecap him, and heck if I'm there I'll make sure he'll regret having the family jewels basically.

MY TIME IS COMING.

Why did nothing really scary happen?

I know what spam per say is.

I'm missing bones.

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2023 sentence starters

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All lines are from this video created by TheRussianBadger.

"I ACTUALLY EARNED ONE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"Those noises that were coming out of you were inhuman."

"You ever had a hotdog burger before?"

"You did NOT just come up with that word."

"I need to know if this was a riff or if this was an actual meal."

"I heard the word 'hotdurger' unprovoked."

"Dudes with nut allergies when I hit them in the head with a brick."

"YOU DIDN'T JUJU ON THE FUCKIN' BEAT."

"I don't misinform. I just lie."

"Did you just punch someone for all their coins?"

"I don't know, just blow 'em all up, I don't care."

"I just fucken hate you."

"STOP BLINDING ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T SEE, YOU GOBLIN!"

"To the charge of wire fraud, you are pleading 'nuh-uh'?"

"Your honor, shut the fuck up. You wasn't even there."

"This conversation sounds like four raccoons with internet access."

"You wanna know how I got these GAINS?"

"I was driving through upstate New York and I saw a Tesla with the license plate 'I'M HIM'."

"That license plate made me laugh so hard that I walked up to his window and put a 12-gauge slug in his chest."

"You got me fucked up bro, I can't believe you would question if I'm real."

"Here's a picture of my nuts."

"Those are gonna be my dying words to my wife: I just want you to know… PS3 has no games."

"Chimichangas are a CIA psyop."

"If you put me in the cockpit of an apache I will Kevin Gates, put my hand on the dashboard, and start it."

"Boy I love having something with none of the same consistency as anything else in my sandwich in my sandwich."

"Dude I definitely love biting into my sandwich and then leaving with an entire pickle slice in my mouth."

"Own a musket for home defense since that's what the founding fathers intended."

"I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. Tally ho, lads!"

"Well it's just straight up racism, and it's not even like an occasional racism, it's like, this is full blast firehose racism."

"It's the floodgate of racism! The Big Gulp of racism!"

"This shit will turn your pacemaker off."

"I point blanked that shit with a panzerfaust."

"Me going to Arby's after losing a $50,000 Marvel vs Capcom tournament."

"Me walking to the fridge to get my five day old caesar salad."

"Fresh caesar salad, already not a good start. Five days, dog."

"How does that predator missile work? Oh, you just go NYOOOOOOM."

"This Nyquil beatin' my ass, that is not THAT funny but, like, I can't stop laughing!"

"Y'all just verbally buzzered that man."

"I stole your girl, I stole your whip, I stole your shoes."

"You cannot land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"As someone who lives in Tennessee, you can land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"That's how I'm going to describe the size of our parking lots to Europeans without internet connections. We can land that in our parking lots."

"I call that my main menu tax."

"Bro, I can't hail a cab in Detroit for shit, bro."

"First bullet, Toyota Tacoma be like 'I ain't hear NOTHING. Y'all hear something?' Second bullet? Legalize nuclear bombs."

"Your voice literally has to wait in line to be heard."

"I'm gonna bomb your trailer park."

"Don't take advice from the dead guys."

"Smoking on that diabolical arch-necromancer pack. Those who don't ball would do well to steer clear."

"Do you know the word 'whermst'?"

"It's like where and for what purpose and why. Location, reason, background context in one word: Whermst."

"Did he just prefire me? Bro, go to jail."

"That's your first option for recourse?"

"Alcatraz, we ain't talking county jail. You're getting in there with the dementors."

"Stop calling the 3D avatar mommy."

"How do they fit this many flares in an airplane? It makes no sense. It's like a clown car but for fireworks."

"I'M SCREAMING ABOUT IT MOTHERFUCKER, STOP!"

"Hey what's up guys? I just bought a 1911 at a Red Lobster parking lot, AMA."

"Just kill me. Just take me to heaven. Just… Take me out of this reality."

"Heaven? BITCH, YOU GOING TO HELL!"

"Hey, fuckin' imagine getting friendly fired by a .50 BMG. Imagine."

"My client pleads oopsie-daisy."

"I'm sorry that your dog is not going to college now."

"Ay you ain't on your grind, son. You ain't on your bag."

"No one's Batman impression is bad."

"You sound like you're in an alley with a trench coat, what the fuck?"

"Oh my God, his Scooby-Doo villain is coming out again."

"Are you repairing our conversation?"

"Why is 'slime' such a funny yet affectionate nickname?"

"Get the fuck out of our shower."

"Why can't we just share the shower?"

"Enemy. Man. 300 meters. North. Fast. Fast. Fast."

"Fun fact: The TSA allows you to bring a live lobster through security."

"I myself have brought 432 lobsters through security."

"THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE SHOT ME!"

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WHERE MY BULLETS ARE!"

"All units, be advised: My stummy hurt."

"Homie got the dog in him with that one."

"Pulled pork? Yeah I cranked my hog today too."

"How blessed are we that I can just log on to YouTube and the first video I see is 'Master Chief teaches you how to change the oil on your 2006 Nissan Murano'?"

"That went from 'funny' to 'demonitized'."

"If your state has 90 degree corners, you probably eat corn syrup on your pancakes."

"Why do you always say 'theoretically' and it's not at all theoretical?"

"You have the world's WORST EVERYTHING."

"My boy got the object permanence of a frog."

"That boy cooked the most rare steak."

"I gotta use the bathroom or something, bro. I gotta go to college or something. I can't be with these motherfuckers."

"He went behind the tree and my brain was like 'WHERE'D HE GO?'"

"Somebody buy me a stat reset, PLEASE!"

"You should not be legally allowed to commit crimes if you're listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"I'm on my Super Mario Sunshine shit."

"Are you barking at me?"

"You might wanna be a LITTLE shidded right now."

"I'd trust Gengar with my kid."

"I didn't know he was chill like that."

"No. We are not putting a controller around somebody's neck and twisting it. It's a wireless controller, you can't even do that."

"And 45 is just a caliber."

"Ranch was made by California to keep the Midwest fat because they're scared of our power."

"I refuse to believe that Kranch is real."

"Alignment charts are for the governable. I grow corn in my yard."

"Tell me the name of God you fungal piece of shit."

"I'm pretty sure that was the most sacrilegious shit I've heard in my life."

"I will pass that to the higher ups – parentheses: I do not give a shit."

"This is getting a little too fast for my brain."

"You fuckers are at a pie eating contest and I'm just like, nah son. Free pie."

"I'm about to hit 'em with the Glock-no-jutsu, on God, bro."

"Regretting a free purchase is crazy."

"THEY'RE JUST POLYGONS!"

"I've had people call me things that I wouldn't even dare say to myself."

"Take five 5-Hour Energies and enter the forbidden hour of the day."

"Those responses do not surprise me at all. I definitely expected that kind of language."

"Bro, it's goof-a-clock right now."

"The moon already isn't real."

"You think I can't kill a fuckin' banana?"

"That was a little too much rage for a potassium transportation device. I didn't mean it. You full of electrolytes."

"I'm gonna eat pizza because I like the sauce on the pizza with the cheese on the pizza."

"I could not have killed him any harder."

"Don't make me make you say some out of pocket shit."

"I've been saying out of pocket shit all day."

"By sheer artillery alone, we should have tunneled our way to Atlantis by now."

"Yo, I don't know the Tom & Jerry lore, fuck you!"

"What if you wanted to go to heaven but God said to you, 'WE'RE GONNA TRY THIS WEEK'S CRUMBL COOKIE MENU'?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINNITUS, WHAT?"

"Is this like punching someone in the dark? Is it like a legal loophole?"

"There's only one of me in all the world. I am one in a krillion."

"If you're a chest sleeper, you're just a fuckin' psychopath, alright?"

[mememanufactorum]

Getter Robo Devolution

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (October 2023 edition)

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Can I have nice updates IRL?

Because I'm thriving and dying at the same time.

Jamming out to Devil Trigger and then rudely interrupted, SMH.

He's a rebel, he'll drive unsafe.

Natural mind reader, check.

I like to PRESENT as a himbo.

I'm not fit enough to be a himbo. I'm more of a hobo.

I want to relive my moment of stunning God in the face with electricity.

I dreamt there was a Denny's parking lot stage in Tekken.

Sue for emotional damage.

Show off them buns.

I'm a winner.

I have the Filipino card.

QUOTE ME CORRECTLY THEN.

France is fictional.

Don't worry about the fact that manga exists in 1462.

It's so nihilistic that people who are nihilistic are optimistic in comparison.

For now all you're going to be worried about is why home is on fire and why am I playing a Pokemon game where the Pokemon steal my shit and tell me to fuck off and die.

How does that NOT look like peanut butter to you?

You see the boy lacks something we in the business like to call common sense.

Truly, Thomas the Tank Engine was camouflaged.

Man if this is brand new then the sidewalk condom is used – like new.

IF THE HUMANS CAN'T HAVE IT THEN YOU GRAY FUCKERS DEFINITELY CAN'T HAVE IT.

THERE CAN'T BE A RECOVERY AS LONG AS A SINGLE ANT EXISTS ON THIS PLANET.

They're doing caveman trigonometry to figure out how to stuff the mattress in the truck.

My back is in shambles and I still have more work to do.

WE MUST RETURN TO PROTOZOA.

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (September 2023 edition)

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Don't look at me. I'm broke. Or just don't look at me.

Nuggie power.

When will I financially be freed?

Can I die instead?

I thought only the devil wears Prada.

Time to buy the stone of whet.

I'd send you knives but that sounds sus.

I'M LITERALLY CRIPPLED.

Do all mechs technically have skeletons?

I dreamt last night I was cooking pork.

The amount of pain I'm in is amazing.

Get a dog even when not single.

I saw my name and otome.

Claimed by what, King Ramses?

Should have returned the slab, dude.

What if someone doing donuts all night is the maddening music? Song of the tires.

I ain't even here and you be yelling at me.

COME BACK, THEY THINK I KILLED YOU.

I like that there's a Me-spectrum.

And yet I'm insane enough to do it.

The ice cream is just a flavor enhancer for the spoon.

There are only dumb people in this chat.

Yeah, [name] stabs herself all the time.

Just go up to your kid, give them the knife and tell them you're passing on the ways of the TonTon.

YOU CAN'T JUST SHOW UP, TAKE A WATERMELON AFTER GETTING BOPPED, AND THEN PORTAL OUT.

[name] just wanted people to beat the shit out of watermelons and brought giantowatermelons.

Either way they're shotgunning their legs off.

I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF "WE HAVE FOOD AT HOME" NOW AND I DIDN'T WANT TO.

TURN BACK THE CLOCK, LET ME BE IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE AGAIN.

No one's gonna collect from my corpse.

I will die and no one will benefit.

My bloodline dies with me.

We already got hit with the floods. Now it's just the maddening music and the swarm.

WHERE'S MY 900 BAGS? GIVE ME MY BAGS.

SHE'S GOING TO DRINK OUR BONES.

I sleep in my boneless form.

Right, I'll go back into my box and come out when I have smooth brain again.

How very unsugoi of you.

I think stabbing myself with my key resulting in a delayed discoloration of my skin is not that bad, right?

[mememanufactorum]

Armored Core 6 sentence starters

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"Forged in ash, we stand as one!"

"It's just a job. All of it."

"Damn it! I can't die like this!"

"I... I just... I just wanted a callsign of my own..."

"Remember who you're messing with."

"You? You're just going to be tagging along on ass-wiping duty."

"Who gives a shit. We'll handle this mission ourselves."

"Why don't you start a sewing club together... and stitch that damn mouth of yours shut?!"

"Can't say I considered you a pro either."

"Tch... Does this guy ever shut up?"

"No luck with the sewing club, I see."

"You got lucky, merc. You were the only warm body they could find."

"Have fun watching from the sidelines."

"Know your place, you meager dog sitter."

"I think I'll enjoy doing business with you."

"Do try not to die like a dog out there."

"You're fast—guess you're sharper than they say. I'll have to step up my own game."

"The higher-ups are going to remember you now, that's for sure. As will I."

"Believe you me, I'm gonna put you to work!"

"Pitiful dog. I feel sorry for you, I really do. You may have survived a little longer, if only you had a different master."

"I hear you make fine hounds with the right training. Shame you'll have to die here."

"I'm fairly adept at analyzing systems— and manipulating them too."

"Can't get good help these days, can you? Would've been cheaper to just hire you instead!"

"It's been miserable knowing you, but... I guess playing nice is the smart choice here."

"They might be a pack of dumb animals, but at least they know quality workmanship."

"Anyway, you know the score. You made this mess, now you get to clean it up. Well, technically, I'm asking you to make a whole new mess... Ah, whatever. You know what to do."

"Guess I was right to pick you for the job."

"Well, I guess a dog can't choose it's master... But, still... Tough luck. I feel sorry for you, I really do."

"Looks like you ruffled some feathers."

"If you ask me, they're counting their eggs before they're hatched."

"I want you to be a walking advertisement for opportunities in destruction."

"You're not their mascot. Just focus on getting the job done."

"I'm sure our paymasters planned for that too. They got their 'walking advertisement' alright."

"I knew you could do it, buddy. I've got my eye on you."

"S-Stop that! How dare you attack me with my back turned?!"

"I don't know who put you up to this, but clearly you need to be disciplined!"

"I asked you a question! Don't you have any manners?!"

"You need discipline!"

"You've got skills... Shame you don't put them to good use."

"What?! Wh-Who are you?! Stop right there! How dare you pretend to be one of my own...!"

"Let me go, and you'll still come out on top... Understand?"

"You're quick on the uptake, aren't you? Splendid."

"You're not like those savages. Keep up the good work."

"Death and dishonor... Such is the oathbreaker's due."

"Heed me, oathbreaker... Treachery benefits none."

"That was certainly an adventure."

"Stubborn to the last... You don't know what's good for you."

"I have a question. The way you dealt with him— did [name] teach you that?"

"Some of us were worried that the enemy might have won you over. But it seems we can trust you after all. Glad to be on the same side."

"Must you always put your life on the line?"

"That's one way to light a fire under your ass— keep it alive for the next field trip."

"I'd say this calls for fireworks— and I've got something that'll blow them away."

"The anticipation's half the fun. We want our guests to enjoy this."

"...Looks like I was a little off. Well, close enough is good enough for me."

"You again? I'm a busy man. Far too busy for the likes of you."

"You're going to need more pawns on the board."

"...Of course. You're here to hawk your services again."

"You're a survivor, no doubt."

"You will be under my direct authority. Consider it a rare privilege."

"Looks like you're doing just fine, buddy."

"It's time to pay the piper."

"I've got your back, buddy. Hope you've got mine."

"Nice work, buddy. Glad you're on my side."

"It's a delight to enjoy the company of a visitor from so far away."

"Here's to new beginnings...! By all means, be my guest."

"A new friend from afar, just for me... What joy! Be still, my beating heart!"

"I'm waiting for you, friend... Fidgeting anxiously before the big dance. I do hope I'll keep up... But the anticipation is part of the fun."

"I've done my best to welcome you. I do hope you'll enjoy your stay, friend..."

"Don't forget, the guy's a rat. This won't be smooth sailing."

"Please! I wanted to surprise you, friend!"

"You've introduced me to such wonderful people! Wonderful things..."

"Let's trip the light fantastic, friend!"

"I'm starting to feel confused... It'd help if you could shut him up."

"Why, friend... This is a gift... Thank you..."

"Looks like he's dead. Good."

"Let's see how far they can fly... On borrowed wings."

"We will see if you can do it justice."

"Either way, you'll never spread your wings... At least not yet."

"A Raven is a symbol of resolve. The will to choose what one fights for."

"All right, we'll watch this one. See where they go on a Raven's wings."

"You're a famous mercenary now. Time to act like one."

"Tell you what, I'll watch and let you know how badly that goes for us."

"You can leave that to me. I know a thing or two about sharpshooting."

"A ragtag crew like this needs leadership."

"I know just the volunteer to go poke that beast with a stick."

"It's not every day you see competing forces working together like this."

"Act like a professional outfit and you might live."

"Who does that creep think he is? I ain't here because I want to be."

"Enjoy the show— and don't forget to smile."

"You don't gotta tell me. I ain't going down with you fools."

"I won't miss."

"That freak actually did it..."

"Did what, the bare minimum? This is just the first hurdle."

"Finally, someone with their head screwed on straight. Ever thought about switching sides?"

"You beg for your mother, we'll give you another!"

"It'll all be over once your sorry ass is dead!"

"I know you're laughing at me! What makes YOU so special?!"

"As if you hardly need help from me. When'd you get so good at exploring?"

"You can go home now— or follow me if you've got a death wish!"

"Go multiply your rifle training and see if you can learn to do something useful."

"Are we doomed to spark conflict wherever we go?"

"Figures. Seems both of us are too dangerous to keep around. And the higher-ups wouldn't miss an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone."

"So, buddy. Who needs you?"

"I don't want to dance to their tune, but this time, I don't have any other choice."

"You never change. You're not afraid to die... Or to kill."

"This has been a real eye-opener. You're strong—a threat...!"

"You're sharp... But that's not the only thing that makes you dangerous."

"I've fought alongside you several times but I never could figure you out."

"Tell me, buddy. What drives you?"

"Never failed to impress... But this isn't over yet."

"There's no graver threat than power without purpose!"

"Once something's alive, it doesn't die easy."

"I'll be well-rewarded when I bring them your head on a silver platter."

"I'll see that the unruly dog is punished and brought to heel. Oh, and of course, let's not forget the hound's master, either."

"This isn't an order—it's a legacy. My fallen friends entrusted this duty to me... And now it's my turn to hand it on."

"Feed the fire. Let the last cinders burn."

"I have one last job for you: Find your freedom."

"Been a while, tourist. Good to see you're still kicking."

"He asked me to look after you. Don't mind if I do."

"I don't just design weapons, you know. You'll see what I mean."

"Looks like they're falling over each other to get your autograph."

"You've been working like a dog... Must be [name]'s influence. Guy's a real slave driver."

"Where do they even find all these people?!"

"Seems they weren't so trivial after all."

"Let's get this trash out of the way first."

"You seem like you've lost someone too. Hope I'm just imagining things."

"Time to do or die. Let's get our laughs while we can."

"Hope you don't mind a little friendly competition."

"Yikes, tourist. Looks like they want you dead first. Tough break. It's not easy being popular."

"Looks like all your fans are dying to see you."

"Oh, we're serious. Right, tourist? Thing is, the serious ones die first— so we should at least pretend to be having fun."

"Someone has to put an end to this injustice!"

"Where did this... Resolve come from? You must have chosen something... Sacrificed something... You found your purpose... Didn't you, buddy?!"

"Always were at your best under pressure, buddy. But this ends here and now!"

"Must be heavy... This purpose you found. You've finally shown me who you are... It's too late now— but it didn't have to be this way!"

"Do him a favor, tourist. Remember him."

"You know... For a tourist, you've got a sense of humor."

"I saw the potential for our future within you. You and I... Could have walked together."

"You are strong. Dangerous. I... Will hold nothing back."

"I realize what you are... The spark of war..."

"I won't let you... Your fire must die!"

"You chose to carry our burden and right the wrongs of our past. I'm sorry... And I'm grateful."

"There's nothing left to bind you. Whatever choices you make now... I just hope you find your true potential."

"I'm not taking any more of your shit!"

"So you got a nice punch in, meh. Go buy a lottery ticket."

"They've called in backup. Shall we step outside and say hello?"

"And here I thought I'd just make some extra scratch. Guess I can settle the score at the same time."

"It'll be peace and quiet when you're gone!"

"Damn it... I would've had you! Don't you dare think you've won!"

"You fight like a bird in flight. You may yet fly higher."

"The others are so used to fighting and shouting slogans that they've given up thinking."

"I don't know who you are but you're dead!"

"We need to stand on our own two feet. That's how we'll win."

"We're war buddies now. Maybe I'll find a comrade in you yet."

"I thought you'd run away with your tail between your legs... Back for more, are you?"

"You fools don't know your place. You don't know when you're beaten. You don't even know what's good for you!"

"How dare you bare your filthy fangs against me?!"

"Howl into the abyss, dog!"

"Will nothing stop you, pest?!"

"Let me tell you my motto, tourist: Get your laughs while you can."

"I don't know what you're up to, but you better make it worth it."

"Looks like you made a friend of your own. But it's good to make a choice. Sit on the fence and you make no enemies... Or friends."

"Hope you've got room for more... I've brought a full course meal."

"Never thought the plan would go so wrong... But it's good teaming up with you again. Couldn't have hoped for a better silver lining."

"You're out of luck. There's only one person who can keep up with me."

"You're not the mutt I thought you were. You're below that—you are vermin!"

"You took on my hopes... My selfish dream. Now, I want to see the future that you choose. Whatever waits ahead... I'll support you."

"Whatever works to get your name out there. That's the benefit of being independent."

"Whatever happens, handle it. Just like you always do."

"As much as I'd love to stop and chat... I'm afraid we're rather pressed for time."

"I'm okay... Still alive, at least. A little rest... And I'll pay 'em back."

"You're daring, I'll give you that. But I've fried bigger fish than you."

"Humanity assumed its current form to fight itself. To choose from infinite selections. That is the essence of the human race... And the key to biological evolution."

"Tired as I am... I'm not ready to die yet."

"Shovel down your bland rations. Slurp your coffee-flavored sludge. Sure, it sucks—but that's being human."

"Don't tell me you like it here."

"He may seem like a pessimist, but he lives for the way things are. A life that can't coexist with what we want."

"Maybe now... I'll get some sleep..."

"Something's... Changed since last time. But you still haven't found a purpose."

"A chain made of human links is easily broken."

"You always did work hard for me... Handled all my requests... And, yet."

"Now that the choice is made, we have to carry on. No matter what obstacles confront us."

"Sorry, but I'm not laughing this time."

"I don't care about the big plan. I just want that damn freelancer DEAD!"

"We will bring order to chaos."

"You want some of this. I'll give it to you..."

"I know how this goes. This is where that grit of yours kicks in.

"It was always so easy for you... What makes YOU special?"

"I always... Envied you. The freelancer... Who had it all..."

"Let's meet this new age... Together."

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (August 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

I want battle chips.

I wanna get a pitchfork.

There's a half naked cowboy on my timeline.

What the fuck is easy mode?

You should have lost faith in the community long ago.

I mean it probably isn't ALL his fault but he also let himself be the perfect target so I still have no sympathy.

IT'S EVEN PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR HELL YEAH.

I have chosen death.

That shit belongs in Australia. It can absolutely kill someone.

I ate so many Chips Ahoy yesterday.

Cookie is power back.

NO, I'M ARMED WITH A HOT KNIFE AND OIL, GET AWAY.

Oh someone gonna die now.

I just watched a guy pull out a whole thing of bread from his bag and he's putting whipped cream on each slice to eat.

The kino levels hit maximum.

There's. So. Much. Porn. On Twitter.

FUCK YOU I DON'T WANT A WAIFU, I WANT A HUMAN WRECKING BALL.

Where the fuck are his TIMBS?

Did he forget the chair parry?

TRES BIEN, GET IN THE GUILLOTINE AND PULL THE LEVER YOURSELF.

Reading that just gave my headache back again.

Those are words but I have no context.

Do you think I should charge my phone?

I regret looking in here, thank you for the nightmare.

Time to be broke bitch.

[mememanufactorum]

Things I've said to my friends out of context (August 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

It feels tiny in my hands.

He's not naked, he's just not wearing a shirt.

Wherever I am, I must also shitpost.

So I look over at my TV and all I see is fucking SKELETOR.

You're gonna love his waifus. You don't have a choice.

You want to pay near full new game release price for a board game?

Boomshoot serotonin brain is buzzing pretty good right now.

Nevermind, summer sucks.

Oh shit a quad-barreled shotgun that just deletes whatever I point-blank fire it at.

Oh god the timelines are merging.

They fight one RELATIVELY little eldritch horror and go insane.

Wake your ass up too, you sleep too much.

What if you wanted to go to heaven, but Nine-Ball said: "Target verified. Commencing hostilities."

You like burning to death right?

Your AP does not exist as a measure of health. Your AP is actually a time limit mechanic.

You seen those Waffle House fights videos? Those people are always ready to fuck someone up.

That spaghetti be cooking.

Time to initiate plan: Get The Fuck Out.

Tiny controllers for people with baby hands.

Dear God fucking shoot it.

Nope. Bail. Do not invest. It's already tainted.

Only legends can trick the staff into giving a speech.

Regular reminder that honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a fuck. Three leopards? Bitch numbers. Honey badger ain't never scared.

It's almost like you work in a dentist's office or something, you tooth fairy.

So, uh, I woke up and I have a lizard for a pet now, I guess.

That is not how you wear a sweater. You are not supposed to cut off most of the sweater.

I'm squeezed in the middle. SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE. SQUEEZED IN THE MIDDLE.

Why you gotta be a jerk about it?

All you fucking do is eat cookie and be mean. This is why you're a gremlin.

If you give a [name] a cookie, she's going to ask for a glass of boba. When she's finished, she'll ask for a bed. Then, once she's slept for two lifetimes, she'll want to get up and play gay otome games.

You know what this core makes me think of? Jack Nicholson.

OH GOD I PICKED UP A GIANT FUCKING SPIDER.

I AM EXISTENTIALLY SCREAMING ON A LEVEL YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND.

IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF I HAD A PILE BUNKER.

Yeah. Let's set aside the several missions I've done up to this point where I have specifically fucked you over.

Yeah but Merlin was a total shitgoblin though.

We have to test [name]'s blood.

You're meeting for a drug deal. You're meeting for a fucking drug deal.

Should ask them if they like bread.

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (July 2023 edition)

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Y'all know Japanese right?

And then gay furry porn.

We've been measuring our distance in LOTR Director's Cut length.

This is when the ants start to peek over.

Humans think existential threats look just like us.

Can't get more American than bikini clad armor women flying with snipers.

They wanted to fucking negotiate peacefully at first. Imagine the surprise when that failed.

God was not happy being stunned continuously, but I was thriving.

Ok guys, time to be replaced by a skinwalker.

I hope to watch someone eat shit on the sand dunes.

I consumed a chocolate covered coffee bean for the first time not knowing that's what it was and died.

I mean, it is coffee condensed into a powerful bean.

IT'S 104 DEGREES, NO WONDER I'M DYING OUT THERE.

Alright, y'all get to be my bodyguards.

You're paid in friendship and permission to be an ass if they're a giant red flag.

I'm just bad at judging people like this, so I need bodyguards.

Except I have too many bones and they're all fragile so I don't go squish.

I make a million cracking noises.

I'm gonna eat the Zaku.

You're gonna feel every bone in my body shift and be horrified.

Plot twist: I'm running the carnival. I'm the fae.

Bathroom mirrors are awful at night.

I'm gonna squish, and not in nice way.

Why does the pool smell like fried chicken?

If this somehow works in her favor, I'm gonna Kermit.

You will not do nothing to ensure you don't purchase it.

HEY KIDS YOU WANT TO FIGHT AN ELDRITCH GOD?

But as we all know from endless consumption of Japanese media, anime is more powerful than God.

As it turns out, God is weak to an oversized Glock.

It's just a vampire being a freak with a Druid.

What? You don't like the Druid transforming into a literal bear to bang the vampire?

The IRS waits for no one.

Do I get to re-enact my one day as an Oblivion guard?

I still want to punt [name] a lot.

When she's in her true form, I want to bop her with a bat. The major league baseball kind of bat.

I hate it when mechs have feathery wings like this.

Not the first or the last time we will commit war crimes.

I got hit with the X. X just gave it to me.

I AM THE MOST UNRECOGNIZABLE PERSON AROUND.

You say this, but I am often able to sneak away by doing nothing.

What a fucking nerd. You have a boyfriend that cares about your wellbeing. Point and laugh at this nerd.

I'd pick her up, spin her around, and do the same kind of singing that confuses my dogs.

That sounds incredibly stupid. You have what's basically chocolate and savory candy.

You're beyond creatures.

Or you could be like me: Drink four shots of espresso and vibrate to the sun.

[mememanufactorum]

Things I've said to my friends out of context (July 2023 edition)

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Stop tiptoeing your fucking death.

I see someone else has played Project Wingman.

Get your Taco Bell orchestrion roll.

I already know the smart thing to do in this situation, but when you're both enforcing it on me like this, it makes me want to buy it out of spite.

It'll just make my bank angrier, that's all.

Don't you flimflam me here, fucker.

HOW MANY LAYERS OF NEGATIVES ARE YOU GONNA BE ON?

HEY YOU WANNA SHOOT SOME OUTER GODS?

Have we just been Mandela Effecting ourselves this entire time into thinking that [name] was ever smart?

But there's a lot of little factors that probably wouldn't end up killing things that are already basically dead.

Dogs don't tend to like fireworks.

He wanted the magic fire stick.

I have TWO legs.

Where's the part where God sends down legally distinct Godzilla?

God wants to pick a fight with the human race? We're going to shoot God.

We don't quite have the power of God and anime on our side, but we do have the power of anime and a ridiculous defense budget.

One guy manages to survive and put out his own fire by RAPIDLY SPINNING on the ground.

Sure hope he found out he can punch his own shotgun blasts.

You know the funny thing? I wasn't about to yell at [name].

Man goes "Who the hell is Story of the Year?" I felt personally attacked.

I learned to claw and I liked it.

Just don't stare at the mirror, that way you don't have to worry about the mirror demons.

Whatever you do, don't look up Tallgeese Flugel.

Everything exists so [name] and [name] can slam and jam.

So I have finally found something that made me experience cringe overload for the first time in years.

I feel like I got gut-punched.

How the fuck did you make it through 90% of this game without ever using items?

You know how my ass has consistently played Pokemon since I was a kid? Pick my starter, literally use nothing but my starter, Unga Bunga my way through 100% of the game. Wing bang boom done.

Thank God we don't actually live in Armored Core timeline shenanigans, because something like this would probably result in war crimes between corporate mercenaries using mechs.

Missile launcher: Not actually a missile launcher. Just fires non-explosive, pointy, metal rods.

I also have food, you're not so special.

It wasn't just that I walked into a web, it's that fucking spooders kept shooting webs at me.

That's super fucking rude of you.

Fuck it. Take me, YHVH.

I'll blare Ace of Spades by Motorhead the whole time while we're on the freeway and the whole trip will take less than 2 hours.

Drop the bomb on me, [name]. I'm ready.

But if the dog comes to me and refuses to leave me, I have no choice but to give the affection.

I want to go back to the times where I could shitpost openly again.

Bad cosplay. He still has two arms.

So [name] is about to get BAJA BLASTED for once.

I am not sure what to say other than the fact that this sounds like an intricately layered shitcake.

Surely you would not mix and match M&M's and Skittles together, right?

You're both fucking creatures.

You fucking nondescript entity, beyond a creature at this point.

So I reserve the right to sit back and heckle from my heckler box.

I bet you ate it like a squirrel.

[mememanufactorum]

Half-Life: Full Regret sentence starters

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All lines are from this video.

“Watch as I get comfortable.”

“I’m going to go step on a Lego, watch.”

“It’s involuntary! I can’t stop dancing!”

“Help me! My booty! It be shaking!”

“Yes, this is how it’s meant to be! This is exactly how science looks!”

“Those are screams of success!”

“I told you he was thick!”

“Now, quick, draw a cool ‘S’ on the wall!”

“Now that’s some fucking science!”

“I’m busted with the sauce.”

“I don’t think that man likes scientists.”

“Watch out, you might learn something! We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“I’m here to kill you! ...Nevermind.”

“Just jam it with your own bones.”

“Explosives? Don’t mind if I do.”

“Give me one reason why I should let him live.”

“This won’t hurt a bit.”

“I’m goated with sauce.”

“Check THESE schmooves.”

“I don’t know why you’re walking over here looking so tense.”

“That’s too much text. I refuse to read that. I’m happy for you though, or sorry that happened.”

“Oh. Well now it’s not funny anymore.”

“Ow! Something appears to have hit me!”

“We should probably not be in this room.”

“I would have simply just not let that happen to me.”

“He died as he lived– on the floor.”

“I am the 25th [name]. I have wisdom from the previous [name]s.”

“Gimmie some of that health, you dogass.”

“You know what? You’ve incurred my wrath!”

“He threw it back too hard! He died!”

“I sense regret! It summons me!”

“We’re here to kill you!”

“Yeah, this is definitely Mountain Dew. Burns like it.”

“Help! I’m becoming baja blasted!”

“You got folded like an omelette!”

“What’s fresh, me homies?”

“Yes, but I’m also not long for this world. I can get away with saying it.”

“I didn’t even realize those boxes exploded. I was just trying to get stuff.”

“Kill me if you want– you can’t un-content yourself.”

“I don’t even know how to survive in here.”

“This is so terrifying.”

“It’s going to be a long night, everyone.”

“You’re pretty bad at this game! We can prove this by showing how you die all the time!”

“This is the most regretful button press I’ve ever done in my life.”

“I have a song for this one.”

“Don’t worry, I have a science pineapple!”

“Do not worry. The water’s killing me faster than you ever could.”

“Should probably run away. That’s a big one. That’s a big boy.”

“Don’t worry, the MC beat the thing. I’m just fucking around here. Sure.”

“Actively getting killed still.”

[mememanufactorum]

Various They Might Be Giants lyric starters

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I’m your only friend.

I’m not your only friend.

Really, I’m not actually your friend.

Say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.

It’s a simple message and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells.

Though I respect that a lot, I’d be fired if that were my job.

I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now.

Confidentially, I never had much pride.

Now I rock a bar stool and I drink for two, just pondering this time bomb in my mind.

What’s the sense in arguing when you’re all alone?

Sure as you can’t steer a train, you can’t change your fate.

There’s some horrible business left for him to attend to.

Something unpleasant has spilled on his brain.

We’re just trying to bug you.

We thought that our dreadfulness might be a thing to annoy you with.

Someone keeps moving my chair.

It’s sad to say you will romanticize all the things you’ve known before.

Though the guy’s a pig we all know what he wants is just to please somebody else.

Memo to myself: Do the dumb things I gotta do.

I was a snowball in hell.

Money’s all broke and food’s going hungry.

If it wasn’t for disappointment, I wouldn’t have any appointment.

Don’t tease me with all of your might.

All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in.

Nothing’s smelling like a rose.

I know that nothing’s gonna change my clothes ever anymore.

There’s only two songs in me, and I just wrote the third.

Don’t know where I got the inspiration or how I wrote the words.

Spent my whole life just digging up my music’s shallow grave.

A poor man once told me that he can’t afford to speak.

Has he ever gotten writer’s block or something like the same?

He just started talking like he was on TV.

I have to keep my self-respect – I’ll never be a star.

Do you think there’s somebody out there, someone else who’s better than the one you’ve got?

You say it’s such a joke but I don’t see you laughing.

Go ahead and mess with me, you’ll find out what will happen.

Did you say what I think you just said?

My hat looks good on me? I agree.

They built this whole neighborhood out of wood.

I guess I’ll still be around when they burn it down.

Honey, I’m there when you need me.

I’ll still be right where you left me if you manage to forget me.

If you and I had any brains, we wouldn’t be in this place.

Chop me up into pieces if it pleases.

Every piece of me will say “I love you.”

He says he knows me but I don’t know that guy.

Some crazy bastard wants to hit me.

I’m still figuring out what’s going to go in my experimental film.

You’re all gonna be in this experimental film.

Even though I can’t explain it, I already know how great it is.

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2022 sentence starters

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* All lines are from this video made by content creator TheRussianBadger.

“I didn’t come here to fuckin’ read!”

“I will carpet bomb your house.”

“No, we’re not going in the direction of ranch.”

“I don’t want to see another video of [name] killing a wasp with ranch dressing.”

“Fuck you, you’re going to the ranch dimension.”

“It’s Ezekiel torn, the Lord is coming back for us. Take me, God!”

“What alcohol do you think [name] would drink? 100% malt liquor.”

“Pass me that travel size Jack Daniels.”

“Yeah, I cleared the house. Off the fucking map.”

“Doctor tried to give me Tylenol instead of percs so I punched him in his fuckin’ face.”

“Your voice is so bassy that my subwoofer keeps shaking my entire fucking wall and I’m scared.”

“You smell like fuckin’ beans, dog.”

“What did I just hear? That doesn’t even sound like an insult.”

“Hey, fall over, break your neck. It’ll be funny.”

“You deserve a bullet.”

“How about you immerse yourself in a shower, bro?”

“I might be 29 years old with dementia, ‘cuz I forgot entirely what the fuck I was gonna say!”

“You did not find your jaw under your bed.”

“The tooth fairy should give you a Dodge Charger if you put your jaw under your bed.”

“Kentucky is literally just farming coal, fried chicken, and horses.”

“Physics wasn’t lying, that particle can exist upon observation.”

“If I hear another ‘swas’, I will fire my Kar 98k into oncoming traffic.”

“I’m showing these mortals what’s good.”

“Even your exhale was autotuned.”

“You sound like a Decepticon charging up.”

“That’s not the pitch moving, that’s just me existing.”

“Yeah, this is going great. Suck my fucking dick.”

“The ocean is a soup. Well, it’s filled with microplastics, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“I hit critical mass, bro. My computer just died.”

“I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can’t even get in.”

“Michael Jordan’s classic punchline when he sunk it from three: Shabingus.”

“What the dog doing? Literally crushing an entire metropolis.”

“My wife is the greatest, I really love her. First thing I hear? ‘Cringe’.”

“Parry this, you stupid fuckin’ lizard.”

“I land an 86-hit combo, he hits one haymaker and I just fuckin’ DIE?”

“Go left, you fuckin’ rat.”

“Why are you giggling like a goblin?”

“The rule of God is incoming.”

“Now I know what you meant by ‘the blast radius is YES’.”

“I rob literally everyone I know on purpose.”

“You can’t call me mommy either. You guys are fucking weird.”

“I’m not even shooting that guy, that was so impressive.”

“My brother in Christ, you are witnessing our extinction.”

“That’s him, officer, he wasn’t using the Wii wrist strap.”

“That is, like, the ultimate form of spawn camping.”

“Yeah, because we can barely fuckin’ hear you. Shut the fuck up.”

“That shit was actually giving me a headache a little bit.”

“You are blind in your left eye, don’t talk to us about not having RGB.”

“I’m blind in both eyes, don’t feel bad.”

“Your cat stole your radiator? How does a cat steal a radiator?”

“Nah, bro, he do be certified in HVAC.”

“If you don’t like the dollar fifty hot dog at Costco, you belong in a jail cell. I have nothing else to say to you.”

“I pour the milk, I pour the cereal, and then I get out the bowl.”

“It don’t really matter which one’s first. The bowl is last. Everybody knows that.”

“Blunt force trauma to the head is what killed the very hungry caterpillar?”

“You just made me uncontrollably sneeze.”

“I did not stand a chance. The game was rigged from the start.”

“The fucking brain on this kid!”

“When vehicles are the only thing tethering you to the earth.”

“This silence got me fucked up.”

“Damn, that’s sad as hell. You gotta light up your dinner with a BIC?”

“Nah, it’s been going good these last few months, I got a fourth lighter.”

“I take some chicken noodle Campbell’s soup with me, right? I stick it in the fire and I let the ash get in the soup, and you mix it around, and, I swear to God, it makes it taste better.”

“You know what I do? Not fucking that.”

“That just woke me out of my nap, bro. That brought me to reality.”

“Turn that bullshit channel off, bro, I’m trying to go back to bed.”

“I will fucking kill you if you change the hot dog.”

“It’s really funny when you have to explain what Hamburger Helper is to your wife. She does not understand what it is.”

“Y’all be eating? Shit, I’m over here just breathing, that’s all I get. Good old bowl of air soup.”

“I’m pretty sure [name] had to pay his rent with beans this month.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go drink a gallon of rat poison, I’ll be right back.”

“I’m about to turn you into a fucking Hot Pocket.”

“That lizard took one sip of the McDonald’s Sprite and I was DONE.”

“Why do you laugh like a fucking hyena?”

“Did someone just say unemployment rate falls to zero when you commit genocide on a fucking planet?”

“You can’t glass a fucking planet and say ‘I did it because it solved the unemployment problem’.”

“I now understand why he’s so pissed, bro. That motherfucking bird was outrunning his ass for YEARS.”

“I would be so pissed if all I heard every day: ‘MEEP MEEP’.”

“Make it make sense, dude.”

“Y’all gonna kill me the way y’all talking, bruh.”

“What about that... Mother-motherfucker 43?”

“Ah yes, the ultimate trait in a sniper rifle: A glaring lack of accuracy.”

“You zigged when you should have zagged, my boy.”

“Head empty, only bullet.”

“Give me all the flash grenades you have.”

“Bitch, I’m back out my coma.”

“I am not accepting that reality.”

“Google’s gonna call you an idiot like the fucking computer from Courage.”

“Why am I getting in trouble for speaking the truth?”

“He’s already in jail for second rate shaboingery.”

“Are you talking about the kid that actually went to jail for shaboingery?”

“Imagine being brought in on felony tomfoolery charges.”

“I will admit I was fully aware and cognizant of what I was doing. This was not an accident.”

“You know [name]? He’s allergic to water, dumbass was a fisher for eight years.”

“He’s allergic to water? How? He IS water!”

“Damn, that’s pretty hydrophobic of you. Why would you say that?”

“I need you to put ONE BALL in the hole and you couldn’t land shit!”

“Y’all the type to put fifty dollars down for that stuffed animal, huh?”

“For a second there, I became that meme of that dude sitting in a fast food restaurant just glowing orange.”

“You can’t say the word ‘hamster’ without laughing. ‘Hamster’ is a real word.”

“You’re going to heaven, big boy.”

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (June 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

INTENSE ISLAND MECHANICS.

Magic bad.

Are you Irish for the night?

Now you can uninstall forever.

WELL IT'S ALMOST 1 AM FOR ME.

MAN SHE REALLY DOES HATE ME.

Bruh I had 100 nuggies in one day.

WHY THE FUCK IS [name] IN LOS ANGELES AND NAKED ON A BEACH?

[name] jingled the right keys for me.

DO WE HAVE A NEW LORD OF LIES?

There's already a character I really want to spill the guts of.

So I learned [name] owns a sub, and that sub has made it to the bottom of five of the seven seas.

It do not move around. It only go up. And down. No forward or back. Not even side to side.

Rotation is on thin ice, mister.

So what they be saying is magic is literally killing the planet.

Today’s stream is sponsored by the letter A. Why is that? Because you’re gonna hear a lot of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Nuh. I’m not about fancy life.

QUICK, HOW DO I INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AGAIN?

Wait I can't get away with that. This is not a receptionist job.

I want to smack people with a nuggie.

They hit your brain.

My tiredness is maxed out.

I don’t even know how many Godzilla movies he owns at this point.

A [name] with no bread is not a [name].

I am all kinds of confusion.

And now I sit here and unwind into the abyss.

It’s fine. Y’all know Japanese right?

Just ask her if she can download gas for the car.

You know, I’m starting to scare myself. I’m remembering things. My memory is working better.

Are you experiencing pain for how these people used that rice cooker?

Do you experience pain or do you experience the jolt of adventurous inspiration?

YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME, I HAVE TWITCH NOTIFICATIONS.

I bit into a well beyond expired donut an hour ago. I didn't notice because my sense of smell is basically non existent, and it tasted sour.

Okay even though this donut is supposed to have like every nutrient ever why does it taste like extra sour sourdough bread?

So either I have consumed a bite of a mold ridden burger or I'm going to explode into spiders. Both options I'm not a fan of.

I have consumed potate. Egg. And 10 charcoal tablets.

Now, I like deep dish personally, but uhh. My dad decided deep dish wasn’t deep enough, and created pizza cake.

He’s describing his character as if it’s not him and it’s just him.

I SWEAR I HIT THE BUTTON AND IT SOUNDED LIKE [name] WAS YELLING AT ME "GET THE FUCK-"

Tell [name] I said happy birfingdai and he'll get the best Godzilla movie, 1998 Godzilla.

So are you good now or still busy with the animaminals?

Would you rather that or unga red bunga red?

You forgot the toaster bath.

I want to bring my Switch to its knees, just like I had my PS4 turn into a jet engine.

So she was like "FUCK HUMANITY I HOPE THEY ALL ROT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO TRAP EVERYONE IN AN ENDLESS LOOP".

They solve everyone but their own problem.

Can't fucking believe we actually did a bank heist.

Tiptoeing death is a [name] maneuver.

I’ll keep [name] to myself then.

Say hi and hope you don't fuck up. Freeze in place and smile awkwardly. If not, just freeze and hope they just ignore you.

I WANNA SMACK PEOPLE WITH KETCHUP OR A NUGGIE.

What if I smack you with a bag of Doritos? Or a giant cookie?

Traditional hot pot doesn't have spam.

Would you like a pizza pen?

[mememanufactorum]

Things I’ve said out of context (June 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

The creature has finally appeared.

Hate this. Fucking hate this. Goddamn fucking hate this.

Yeetus deletus.

My room might be getting dangerously close to becoming 50% methane.

Don’t tell me you too are intimidated by the mcnuggies.

[name] literally so brain blunted that he doesn't even realize he's naked on a beach until someone specifically points it out to him. It’s perfect.

How are you supposed to prove you’re better than [name] by jobbing?

WHAT ARE THEY SCORING FOR?

AH I SEE. PUT YOURSELF INTO A POSITION WHERE IT DOESN’T MATTER.

[name] going for blocks like he’s playing in 800 ping.

It's only when a ball's flying towards his face that [name] remembers how to dodge.

[name] ACTUALLY DEFENDED THE GOAL? THE FUCK?

Shit’s lit.

Bruh got bullets put up his ass for saluting a fallen comrade.

RING FINGER. WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT THEN?

How many times in a row can [name] get thrown through a glass display case.

How many times can [name] get hit by a car.

Although ACTUAL WATER BULLET PHYSICS had me thoroughly entertained at least.

So it's starting to get a little creatively bankrupt in the "Let's find new ways to physically hurt [name]" department.

So I might be making a little fucky wucky.

Oh holy shit. We actually have Korean BBQ.

If I die in the next 24 hours, you’ll know why.

I feel marginally more awake than I did before. Marginally.

PUSHING BUTTONS.

WAIT, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE EATING DONUTS. WERE YOU EATING, LIKE A MARTIN LUTHER OR SOMETHING? A BURGER SANDWICHED BETWEEN TWO DONUTS?

This sounds like some SS13 shit.

I don't think the Bang did shit for me. I am right back to feeling like I did before I drank it.

I am also in the shrine. My shrine.

Everyone can’t wait to not play it.

Why can’t we get Gary Busey in DBD?

I hope she ass gets the poetic justice treatment.

I'm just trying to watch a Japanese man spend 3 days in a net cafe room. I ain't ask for a near 3 hour ad.

I offer you nothing more than the silence of shame at that pun.

Bros, you want a cheap ass Keurig with Pokemon stickers slapped on it?

This isn't even the weirdest Japan thing I've seen today.

I literally just watched a video about anime VN video games made about Uno.

I know I do literally no damage, but my self-sustain though.

[name] apparently made Clara so strong that she broke her internet.

Here's everyone's regular reminder that Lucina and Kaine have the same voice actress.

My source may be that I'm making this the fuck up, but how else do you explain it?

You don’t know what powers you invoke.

I just had to fucking double check to make sure I didn't just somehow make it up in my own head.

Let me just firmly root myself in reality for a moment.

This exists. We can all confirm this is a thing that exists.

The Jhammel’s just gonna grow its head into the giant voidgate on the moon, look Zeromus dead in the face, and call him a bitch.

Time to interrogate everyone you know.

For once, a batshit comedy anime gave me practical knowledge.

Time to fucking burn the chair.

Because when you steal from the criminals' monetary depository and then suddenly turn around and try to pay them back for the same exact amount that got stolen, they're going to most likely put two and two together.

WHO WANTED MORE SMALL SOLDIERS?

Things are beautiful just before they die, struggling until the very end.

Let me make something clear here: Just because 2 out of 3 of us aren’t a threat doesn’t mean I’m still not a threat.

[mememanufactorum]

Lythero – various DBFZ Shenanigoons sentence starters

* All lines are from the various “DBFZ Shenanigoons” videos made by Lythero

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

“If you think you had trouble with me, wait until the next one!”

“We’re going to explode.”

“You bullied me, so now I’m going to bully you!”

“Stop reverbing your jowls.”

“God damn it, your assist sucks.”

“Wait, what’s that about dying if we lose?”

“I’m not dying. YOU’RE gonna die.”

“I’m definitely not screaming every time.”

“They’ll bring me back agaaaaaaaain!”

“You’ll pay for this, you bastards.”

“I’m a Super Saiyan 4! Little one. Happy Meal version.”

“Where’s your arm?!”

“I hate you so much, stop talking!”

“Why are you laughing though?!”

“I mean, technically, I tagged you in. Look, he’s right there.”

“Block! Block, earthling! Block!”

“I need more bitches.”

“You are a bitch, [name].”

“Bitch...? Bitch... WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

“Your drip is ruined.”

“I might have to don this drip as well.”

“I don’t need drip, unlike you.”

“See you later, FUCKER!!!”

“Is this the power of drip?!”

“This is the power of thirst!”

“He looks like a Soundcloud rapper!”

“Hi. I’m going to combo you until the thing is over.”

“Alright, on you go, you fuckin’ rat!”

“Let’s see what the rat can do.”

“Holy shit, you nearly died! He nearly TOD’ed the fuck out of you!”

“Hold on, let me think about this.”

“You know what? Fuck you! Stop powering up right now!”

“Bitch. Bad at life bitch. Bad at life, no bitches?! Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!”

“I’ll have bitches alright, you’ll see.”

“Come here, scallywag! I will picketh thee up!”

“Yeah, fuck you [name]! Wake up super that ass!”

“Hey, you good over there? Maybe you should have worn a mask, motherfucker!”

“Alright you stupid two-dimensional loser.”

“I am getting attacked by Disney World prices, bro. Fuck.”

“This is how it feels when you try to go to Disney Land every year.”

“I’ll step on all of your Nikes. One at a time.”

“Now honey, listen here, I think you’re about to become content.”

“We only live to serve our master.”

“You know, [name], I don’t see eye to eye with you, but this fuckin’ [name] character has got to go!”

“Get him, honey! Fuck his day up!”

“His dad would rather buy extremely expensive clothes for himself than buy his son any clothes whatsoever.”

“He’s built like a fortress. A fortress built of FURRIES. Do you have any idea how good they make shit? Have you seen their fursuits? That shit lasts! Made out of Nintendium, bro!”

“Thirty-one days. Thirty-one days. You better count it down, bitch.”

“I’m getting tired of this shit. I’m not programmed for an entire month of [name] telling me what to do.”

“You’ll see why they call me the Prince of all Drip.”

“Hand me my keys! You know what? Fuck the keys I don’t need them!”

“Oh god, this guy plays like a fucking gorilla!”

“How come you didn’t tell me he was a king?”

“Let me kill the tiny woman!”

“Damn, honey, you couldn’t get me any of that drip? I see your dad over there looking all fly and shit, what the hell?”

“Get in the jar!”

“It’s only a matter of time, [name]. You can’t escape from crossing fate.”

“Bring back the one above all!”

“You speak out of turn, little one! I brought you into this world... SAY THAT AGAIN!”

“It’s nice of you to play with kids. Father-father/son-son bonding.”

“How dare yo– Do it again.”

“This is the power of drip. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Were you feeling confident? You thought you were going to win? No.”

[mememanufactorum]

Lythero – UMvC3 Lobby Shenanigans 6 sentence starters

* All lines are taken from this video

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

“See ya later nerd.”

“Bruh. Let me pick. How about your mind your business over there, my guy, alright?”

“Damn, the judgment, dude.”

“Kind of experimental. We’ll see how it works out.”

“He has technically given you the best team in the game; however, it is high execution. Good luck.”

“Requires about 500 hours of play just to get it down half-good.”

“I’m coming in.”

“He’s a robo—”

“Bro, back the FUCK up!”

“Shotgu— SHOTGUN.”

“I love you, kitchen gun!”

“Get off my fuckin’ property, bro.”

“Hold on, lemme talk to you.”

“Oh my god? Truth come out?”

“EAT LEAD!!!”

“No, die.”

“You’re not supposed to confirm!”

“Magnum!”

“Oh my god, good old American magnum!”

“Wait, how is there no time on the clock? We’ve been playing so serious.”

“Getting kinda cold out there, [name].”

“What do you want me to do about it?!”

“Man’s got no jacket money, dude. It’s crazy.”

“Come on! Eat the content! Come on! Come on, get hit! Come on!”

“I’ve been turned into content!”

“Become content! You’re going to Twitter! I’m punching you in!”

“Alright, that’s it, you’ve been tweeted!”

“What is your team so I can pick it?”

“Wait, this team’s kinda cool.”

“Yo, come play some Call of Duty with me, my guy! Come play some Call of Duty with your old boy, dude!”

“Get fucked, loser.”

“They’re playing fuckin’ Time Crisis over here.”

“I’m really glad I entered this tournament, this is so much fun. Having a great time.”

“Alright, one missile for the culture.”

“Yeah, spin on him! Fuck him!”

“I’m paper! I’m paper! I’m made out of paper! Help!”

“I just wanted the ONE! ONE!”

“He’s GOATed!”

“Damn. My [name]’s kinda nice, bruh.”

“Damn, I’m sick!”

“Help! How do I play this?!”

“What the fuck is this fuckin’ hieroglyphics shit?”

“Motherfucker’s reading off the bar code.”

“Ohhh, he dropped it! He’s bad! He’s baaaad!”

“You had the world, [name].”

“Looks like we found out who the faker was.”

“You’re in big trouble, you haven’t paid for your mobile data plan in years.”

“My old Motorola phone, how could it be used against me?”

“How did you– How did you make it do it twice?!”

“If you’re good enough, you can go indefinitely.”

“What the fuck is this?! Do that again!”

“What is he doing?! I don’t understand!”

“You lousy motherfucker. Get your dog ass to the danger room right now or else I will shove this wheelchair up your ass!”

“And stop fucking with the microwave!”

“The [name]’s got the blinker shades on! Oh my god, hold on!”

“Bro, drip or drown! By any means necessary!”

“He made his armor from wood, dude! How do you stop it?!”

“I don’t need it, you’re already dead.”

“Damn, bro, he’s comin’ in!”

“Wait, hold on. I can confirm this.”

“That’s the sickest riff I’ve ever heard.”

“You bastard! I can’t believe you did that to me!”

“Get back in line, nerd!”

“Welcome to the back of the bus, my guy!”

“He’s been in the back of the bus so long he’s a fuckin’ skeleton back there.”

“That was not close enough! I need a ref!”

“Hello, ref here. Uhh, that was not close enough, there’s nothing I can do though. [name]’s gonna beat me up as well.”

“I would only get grabbed if I tried to help.”

“Always remember what I could’ve done.”

“How was I beaten by someone from the ‘80s?”

“How was I beaten by someone before Christ?”

“Dab me up! DAB ME UP!!!”

“Time to watch you shower!”

“Justice is happening.”

“That was so stupid.”

“Oh– Shit! He’s already gaming!”

“Ah, so anyway, you die right? It’s crazy.”

“This motherfucker ripped out the metal piping from his house JUST to kill you!”

“You searched THAT on the internet? Interesting. This guy’s a weirdo. I’m kinda into it.”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!”

“Yo, quit! You got grabbed, that’s the rule!”

“Hey, yo, I’m up here doin’ stuff! This is my safe space!”

“Yo, salty that man right now.”

“No more, last one. No more, last one. No more, last one. Last one. No more.”

“Does that mean the last one?”

“Last one. Ten more.”

“I’m scanning for infrastructure.”

“I don’t know what’s happening!”

“What the dumb shit–?! The fuckin’– a– shit, a– Don’t look at me that way!”

“Don’t say my government! DIE! No one must ever know!”

“[name] WILL NOT PAY TAXES!”

“Excuse me?! Why is it still going?! Excuse me?! It’s still going?!”

“I need to talk to you about something. Hear me out real quick. Explosion.”

“No, they’re cute. His feet are cute, shut up.”

“My mother made these. You better shut your mouth.”

“He hit ‘em with the curse, bro!”

“Not worth the bar, let’s go!”

“Wait, hold on. Something’s up. Something’s definitely up.”

“Your honor, those are the fakers!”

“I’m gonna sus this out somehow.”

“My brain went dead, I didn’t know what to do.”

“I’m deadass, Ed-boy.”

“Did ya see it?”

“Mama didn’t raise no bitch.”

“I can’t do thing. I can’t do my taxes. Help.”

“HE’S COMING FOR ME!!!”

“Why come?!”