#literally lying bed for days now
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I just realized I haven't posted this on here...another drawing based off a tweet
#i swr im so unmotivated to do anything#literally lying bed for days now#:(#catradora#catra#she ra#adora#fanart#adora x catra#catra x adora#spop adora#she ra and the princesses of power#she ra spop#catradora fanart#artists on tumblr#sapphic art#adora shera#doodles#low effort stuff really
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
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thjnking about sleeping on same bed with f/o in each others arms ready to drift off to sleep and then notice how they’ve grown more comfortable w giving me lots of kisses (their reply to me noticing so is ‘fun to see your reaction, is all’ (because i totally don’t squirm so much in their arms while they do so)) and then me suddenly moving to cup their cheek, doing the thumb thing and go ‘how about me? can i kiss you?’ and then watch their brain just shut down right on the spot and go red as i am
#goodnight i am going to bed GOODNIGHT IM SOO NORMAL#im not normal im literally lying. im so not normal#bro if this grammar doesnt make sense ill edit it in the morning i promise i just needed to write it down im so eepy#long day tmrw too so excited#just happy to be comfy in bed rn as welll….#thinking about f/o…. hehehehegeh#Goodnight fr now . Im normal promise#❥ vels ramblings#self ship
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my grandmother knows how much i love the moon and she's started clipping articles out of the paper whenever they're space-related and mailing them to me and i've taken to calling her whenever there's an interesting celestial body visible to the naked eye in the night sky. it's a cute lil way that we bond and has had the happy side effect that now in addition to all the other reasons i love to see the moon, i now also love it because it's something i get to share with her. this is all important context that my friends didn't have last week when we turned a corner and my reaction to seeing the full moon hanging huge and bright and beautiful right in front of us was to shout "i need to call my grandmother!!" now, i'm not sure what conclusions i would have jumped to were i in their position, but i feel like "my friend's grandmother must be a werewolf" would have been low on the list of possibilities. that's just me though.
#in fairness to them that is the most interesting possible conclusion and my grandmother thinks it's hilarious#what's up party people i spent literally the entire day lying down#and have only now gotten up to sit at the table so i can put my dico vocab in my vocab spreadsheet#so many of my symptoms have improved today! however i am still coughing and i'm on my period so that has been fun#projectile uterine discharge#luna#vampires and werewolves and zombies oh my#my posts#pretty sure my heater is broken 🙄 i think the pilot light is out? so that's fun#i don't want to have anyone in here until i'm not contagious obviously#so i'll just live with it#luckily it's not below freezing or anything. also when you're in bed all day you don't even notice! silver linings#(don't tell my grandmother the werewolf)#(are there any versions of little red riding hood where the wolf is a werewolf? how sharp your teeth are grandmother...)
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#day 4 on bupropion#i need to vent. bc today was mostly decent. cause at least i could control my emotions and not cry at every little thing#but ended just as badly as i was feeling yesterday. i feel rly sad rn#when im productive i feel great but when im trying to relax? i feel like i need to find something productive to do immediately.#its like i need to do everything but i have no desire to do anything#im like. lying in bed at 2 am grieving my hyperfixations hard. been crying for the past 3 hours#bc i just cant sit down and enjoy anything without feeling like im forcing myself. and i already miss feeling things when i play video game#idk if i can do the 4-6 weeks of this before side effects normalize. everyone says it gets better#and even that is making me feel guilty bc it took me this long to get help and i already want to quit on my first week#i have an appointment with my dr on friday but fuck. the last 3 nights have felt like weeks. its so hard falling asleep.#it really doesn't help that this med is making me. stupid. i have about 10 seconds worth of memory before the thought is deleted#literally forgetting what i'm talking about midway through a sentence#but hey. at least my memory is so bad i cant remember what i did today and overthink every action. i guess.#and maybe tmi. but my libido is gone... like completely nonexistent now#some people literally take this shit to help w a low libido!!! but for me it is doing the exact opposite!!! what is wrong with my body#and to top it off i can't drink even a half cup of coffee without panic attacks. i miss iced coffee already :(#cant enjoy shit anymore and my adhd feels 10 times worse than it did before bc i can't sit still to save my life.#anyway im yapping so much but i need to because im feeling so alone#some side affects im getting r common and manageable but some are pretty uncommon and its hard finding anyone who relates...
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Im gong to get a palm tattoo that says YOU ARE EXPERIENCING WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS so I can stop pretending I don’t know why I feel like shit every other week
Remember to take your meds friends
#it’s always#ugh I feel kinda dizzy and nauseous today idk what’s happening#ugh I feel like I’m going to burst into tears at minute for now reason with#ugh I’ve had a twitch in my eye for a couple days what’s up with that#ugh even with 9 hours of sleep im still exhausted#ugh why do I feel like lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling instead of doing literally anything else#you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms#dumbass
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it took until 4 pm but i’m finally feeling the mother’s day blues
#text#some years the anniversary of my mom’s death coincides w mother’s day#and i actually prefer that#bc otherwise this happens#i was sad on friday bc it was the anniversary and i’m sad now bc it’s mother’s day#i had so much to do#3 weeks worth of laundry#my nails#clean my room for the week#but i can’t move#just literally lying in bed completely zapped of energy
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oh i didn’t say it here…so um ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜
#leah.txt#and with that goodnight :]#not that it really matters to say cause i’ve always been sapphic since the day i was born lmao but yeah !! had lots of realisations &#putting feelings into words like earlier this week? it just felt like every fell into place & it made so much sense. i feel so like…just#content with myself now. i kept questioning things. i kept feeling as though i was an imposter for calling myself bi but i couldn’t pinpoint#why. so i just feel really happy & really like yeah i’m a lesbian !!! i did like a lil ramble ont priv on twitter before i ended up deleting#it & had convos in dms with the besties & apparently i’d had the exact same convo saying the same things almost two whole years ago so…yeah#thought i would find it hard to change like label i use for myself cause change is always so hard but i just felt excited? i felt happy#i felt like i wasn’t like…lying? anymore. not that i ever was it’s just i always had this feeling of somethings off & now that’s gone…#plus after the fact of saying it & being affirmed in my feelings um i kept having more realisations from growing up & unlocking memories &#it’s so funny cause it’s like it was literally always there i just never realised. anyway didn’t mean to ramble i just meant to go hey then#dip & head to bed cause i have a doctors appointment on the morning askdjsk but it’s really exciting for me idk there’s lots of thoughts but#i’ll shhh cause i’ve gone on for long enough lmao
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did smth rly important for all of society to benefit from
#DCB Comments#what... what do u mean u thought i was... playing another game...#oh also i am on chapter 18 so i am feeling very uwu this chapter#gonna fucking UWU my ass all the way through tor garen and drag my shithead idiot by the ponytail back into my army uwu wu wu#anyway oscar slays and i thought you all might want to know that#those stats on the first pic are the highest they can go btw besides weapon weight which is the lowest it can go...#but im too fckn filthy rich to care bc mercenaries get paid and when u cash in from the apostle herself u get rich#rich enough to afford whatever the fuck oscar wants#soren has three strength btw. i gave him a knight band for a lil while. he can shank ppl now like a real cute person would do#he can't shank ppl tho unfortunately bc fuck sages with knives here in this house it's easier to get exp by healing#can't have too many healers lying around. one day toto tortor will heal too... one day...#for now he's just an eenie beenie mage boy#how many ppl will oscar slay from now until he is a healy weely sage i wonder#but now of that matters bc i have a blorbo to knock around and force back into my army#actually it matters just not right now. oh hey i also trained marcia again for the first time in like ten files#okay im going to bed now send all your best wishes to my dummy dumm blorbo before ike whacks him a couple times#did you guys know shinon literally acts exactly like me when he's drunk i feel so sorry for him#i can't believe he does that but he does he basically uwus his way through being drunk#don't look now but i have headcanons abt the drunk part. not so much the uwu part#oscar slays btw and if u play por use oscar he's perfect he can do no wrong all he can do is be ur mvp#DCB PoR Run
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ok no dicking about now im going into exam mode
#have decided i will have to actually revise at night now#instead of coming home after school and immediately just lying in bed#also trying sleep restriction therapy in a desperate attempt to stop waking up in the middle of the night#like i feel way better sleeping for the same time but uninterrupted#so if i try for 6.5 hours every weeknight and like 9 on the weekends#that'll be better than getting like 4/5 every day and being miserable even though i tried to go to bed at 9.30#at least thats my thought#i think the final straw was the day before the maths trip when i slept for like 4 hours and had a migraine the entire time#the train home was literally torture#but yeah anyways#really trying for these exams#also if i get all a*s they'll have to give me academic colours..#i was one of the ones on the shortlist the first term but i didnt get any of the excellent effort grades.#and im not going to start talking in class now so.#have to rely solely on the grades#also the fact that this is one of the main factors in predicted grades#just need to focus on chemistry and maths#physic will be fine as long as i wrap my head around waves
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I'm so cooked
#done 0 of my homework#I literally bed rotted for a whole week#😭😭🔫#so now I have 7 days to do all ly homework#I will not sleep these week#vent account#vent post#guys it's so over 😭😭
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really feeling the fomo with those last two posts arent i why now i wonder
#i get like this every so often#randomly reminded of years ago at school when i had classmates and stuff#what a bloody loser#nah seriously lying in bed in my old room at my parents feeling sorry for myself that i didnt make proper friends when i was 15#get a bloody life#not like this isnt why i never made any friends or anything#like you do have to make an actual effort not spend your time in bed on your phone#its literally the middle of the day#nah it is a bit weird being back here even though i go back most holidays and sometimes the weekend#but like no one i knew from then went to my uni or if they did i just dont know cause i havent seen them since#but likw it was in this town where i am now#i barely go out but over the whole time i think i only saw like two in town and we didnt really talk#like i dont even really want to? i dont know#its just something to comiserate about not that theres a solution that way#obvious solution would be to make friends when uni starts again not that i can be bothered#yeah and i wonder why im miserable bloody hell
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Still reeling from the high of checking another thing off my bucket list, again I know no one here cares but baby me is so happy for present time me. My attachment to sports is something no one can truly understand cause I can’t explain it. But it’s important to me and I love every minute of it even if I cry about it. Anyways, writing wise I’ve done nothing. But at least I’ll be posting Valentine’s Day events on time and I’ll update midnights too, I could do it early since I’m in such a great mood… in celebration of me going to the Super Bowl I guess and pre valentine! Which means I should probably work on Question…? today
Update: I slept way too much and I have a headache now, but I wrote about 1.8k for midnights which should count for something. Adding to this to say Question…? Is completed at 2.2k I swear there’s a theme of me writing longer chapters for heavier shinshi moments but they’re my ship okay. If I can stay up for another hour ish I’ll update tonight, if not then I’ll shoot for tomorrow night. Cause then it’ll be all valentines event stuff! I’m still so jazzed about that! I get to bake too! But I’ll need to run to the store since everyone’s been eating all of my kisses, ah well, it’s my favorite holiday I can get more
Update 2: I took some pain pills and had to stay up so I posted midnight rain, but also in the process I started to write the fake dating fic too and I’m now reminded of my dilemma with the rating cause I don’t want anything crazy which means I stay at T but there are moments where I flirt with the lines and that can be dangerous…
Unrelated musings: I sometimes think about posting my random musings/ partially written fics on ao3 just so I don’t keep the thoughts to myself but I have too many WIPs going on. Plus I really don’t think anyone would vibe with it so there’s no point sharing. I know this is fiction and all but I have a hard time suspending beliefs sometimes and it shows. Point in all of this is that I’m tired of reading fics where he’s like perfect especially during their first time together. Lately an idea has been haunting me and I think about writing it every single day now… I saw a similar fic that I hope the author continues cause we’ve not seen a fic like that yet in this fandom! But anyways, let him be bad at things. Cause he’s far from perfect and I hate that we have to keep pretending he’s always right
#cynful babbles#im literally still lying bed right now cause im so tired#so maybe I’ll take a nap first. but I gotta get more stuff for Valentine’s Day#I need to start baking tomorrow!
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is that right? ☏ mattheo riddle.
summary: both your parents had set up an arranged marriage. you both simply tolerated it for the most part, as it really was in the best interest for your respective families. over the year, you started to really develop feelings for each other - especially in wanting to expand the family name.
pairing: mattheo x fem! reader
warnings: jealousy, smut like literal major baby making so there is unprotected p in v and creampie, so breeding!kink, oral sex (giving and receiving), fingering, choking, gagging, slight bondage, almost public but not really?, cock warming... maybe slight daddy/mommy stuff naturally?. i think that's pretty much it fluff at the end. he is rough but talks you through it, praise!kink.
note: this is my first time ever writing smut...omg i almost didnt finish writing this LOL i had to stop midway then I had the post clarity and that shameful feeling HAHAHAH
word count: 7.5k
(slightly not really proofread...again)
reblogs & comments are appreciated! i hope you have fun!! tell me what you think!
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Both your parents had set up an arranged marriage for after you and Mattheo graduated from Hogwarts. You've been married for over a year now, living in a manor that housed both families. There was definitely some tension occurring, recently you’ve both started to further develop feelings. At first you tolerated your union as his family wanted to continue with a strong and pure bloodline, and your family simply wanted protection.
You were sitting at your vanity, brushing your hair when Mattheo walked out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist. He gave you a smug look, heading to the walk-in closet, dropping the towel and slipping on his underwear, his back turned to you. You wouldn’t help but press your thighs together at the sight of him, you quickly return to brush the knots from your hair.
From the vanity mirror you look at his chiseled back muscles. He still looks as good as the first day you met him. You had the luck on your side for that, at least the partner in your arranged marriage was good looking…yet you craved having a chance to fall in love organically. You could count on a single hand how many times you and Mattheo had been physically intimate.
Mattheo put on a shirt and grey sweats, shit, before walking out of the closet to approach you. “I’ve heard from your parents that you’ve been talking to another guy at work?” he says calmly but firmly.
You thought about it for a second, “Charlie? Yeah, he’s in training.” After graduating Hogwarts you were able to quickly land a job with the M.O.M. while mattheo stuck with DAD…aka the family…business. I moved on to rub body oil on my legs and arms, not looking at him.
He tried to not pay any attention to you as you moved your hands in tight little circles. Mattheo would love a good massage right about now too, he took a step back and sat on his side of the massive bed, “and what do you talk to him about?”
“I mean,” you scoff at him, “Mattheo, it’s just training protocols. Showing him around the work area, how to do things, where things are at. Not much else to it than that.”
He clenched his jaw, he couldn’t deny that he had an attraction to you, but he always told himself to ignore it, “that’s it?”
“Yes, that’s it.” You stood up from the vanity, clicking closed the boy oil. Setting it down where it belonged, you enjoyed having a tidy space. You sat on your side of the bed.
He looked at the way your hips swayed in your night dress as you walked to your side. You turned your head to look back at him. He looked so tense, “I hope you’re not lying.”
You stayed quiet, of course he wouldn’t trust me. You had never given him a reason not to even before the start of this arrangement, so it annoyed you when he doubted you. That might just be his nature though. You slid into the satin bed sheets, they were nice and cool to the touch, much needed after a long day at work. You turned your bedside lamp off, encasing your both in darkness. Mattheo laid beside you, he usually took to his side, but tonight he was feeling a bit off so he wanted to be close to you. Not making physical contact but enough to where you notice his warm body.
You kept your eyes open, your back turned away from him, what was he doing? He never slept so close to you. After a long period of silence you spoke up, feeling brave because it was dark. You wouldn’t see his expression and he wouldn’t see yours, “are you jealous, Mattheo?”
He sneered at the question, as if the idea of him being jealous was a crime, “of course not. I’m just concerned that you’re doing something you shouldn’t be.” There was a small hint of jealousy in his voice, he hated to admit it but he didn’t like the idea of you with another man.
“I might have not had a choice, but I don’t plan to step out of this marriage. You have nothing to worry about.” You tried to scoot closer to the edge of the bed, trying to build distance from him, “I wish I could say the same with you…and your assistant.”
His face looked offended, but you couldn't see it, you could hear it in his voice, trying to keep it cool. “My assistant? You’re the only one that is allowed in my office.”
“That’s not what Draco told me.” Mattheo was able to recruit Draco back into the business. Draco was nice to you, he was like a brother figure. Your families were close. They would have arranged a marriage with him instead, but his mother decided against it. She believed in falling in love, and making the choice Draco’s. “He warned me to never let you go on any work trips or work late over time. He doesn’t trust your assistant. Draco told me she wants to take any opportunity to have you alone, where no one can see you two.”
Mattheo gritted his teeth as he listened to you. He didn’t appreciate that Draco was telling you things about him, in fact was pissed. He sat up in bed, turning on his bedside lamp. He looked at you with furious eyes, “Draco has no idea what he’s talking about. My work assistant wouldn’t do such things!” That was a lie and he knew it.
“I trust Draco. Don’t you speak ill of him. Why are you defending her?! YOU’RE the one who should be telling me that you wouldn’t do such things with her!” You couldn’t help your own jealousy come forth, you nearly fell off the bed.
He grabbed your arm to pull you back on the bed. Mattheo spoke with a calm and firm voice, “you have my word that I have never, nor will i ever, do such things with my assistant. No other woman can have me the way you do.” He admitted with a smirk, grabbing your chin and lifting it up so your gaze would be on him only.
You didn’t thank him for catching you, but you were glad he did. You lost your concentration for a split second at his admission. You regained yourself, “fire her then.”
He laughed at your demand, “fire my assistant?” A wicked thought passed through it. He could use this to his advantage to make you feel jealous, test the water on how you felt about him, “Why would I do that? She helps me.”
You crossed your arms, “you have three choices.” You count up with your fingers, “You either fire her. Let me choose an assistant for yourself. Or you hire me to be your new assistant.”
He raised his eyebrow at your offers, but still kept his cool, He didn’t want to show how turned on he was by how demanding you were being at the moment, “you’re giving me an ultimatum…” he smirked slightly, “and you think I’ll just do as you demand?”
“You better mattheo. If you don’t want to take it for purely my sake, do it for your bloodline.” I rolled my eyes. Fighting back the blush, thinking one day I will carry his child.
He groaned at the mention of the family purity, “is that right?” he said in a frustrated tone, “you know as well as I do that this marriage is a duty to our families.” He sighed. “Very well, i’ll take you up on your offer, be my new assistant.”
Your eyes grew wide. You didn’t actually expect him to take that choice, far as you could tell he enjoyed being away from you even if it was at work. “I’ll call my work in the morning. See? Not so bad that I was training Charlie, he can take my place.” You tried to read his face before laying back down, this time closer to the center of the bed.
He turned off his lamp again, “let it be done. But remember, as my new assistant, I won't go easy on you.” He teased, there was a small smile on his face he couldn’t straighten out.
You reached out to pinch his ear, “don’t let it get to your head. I’m still your equal as your wife. Don’t forget about that.” You turned your back to him once again, closing your eyes.
His smile only got bigger at how fierce you were being, he must have struck a chord. He has never seen you so jealous. “Yes, yes… of course my love.” he mocked in a quiet voice as he inched closer to you, laying by your side. Not making much contact, but enough to tease you. You rolled your eyes, he only ever used pet names to tease you. You wanted them to mean something. You remembered the way he came out of the shower, you thought about his wide shoulders, his collar bones.. You scoot your ass closer to his hips. Two can play at that game.
Mattheo’s breath hitched, “what do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m trying to sleep. Goodnight.”
He was so close to snapping at you, but he didn’t want to take the bait, “night.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The next morning you woke up early to call and explain why you were leaving the ministry. You had to come up with a solid unsuspecting excuse. Mattheo’s family would not be too happy with it, being their spy and all, but if it meant my marriage could be successful, so be it.
You were at the dining room table, it was empty. Everyone in the manor wouldn’t wake up for another half hour or so. Yet there was Mattheo in his black suit, “morning.” He found it amusing you were already ready for the day. He looked you up and down, a wave of lust surged through him. He thought you looked quite lovely, he almost said it outloud but resisted the urge.
“Good morning Mr. Riddle, sir.” You stood up, pulling his seat out. You rolled my eyes, but smiled sweetly at him, “I’m ready for my first day.”
He chuckled softly at how polite you were being, “are you now? And what are you looking forward to most today?”
One of the maids came by to set mattheo’s breakfast down. I smiled at her and waited until she left before continuing, “Sir, I'm looking forward to you firing your current assistant… in front of me.” You batted your lashes at him. Knowing you were going to meet her for the first and last time, you took extra care in how you looked.
“You really want to witness her losing her job, don't you?” He bit the corner of his mouth.
“She should have watched the way she was acting with you, if she really cared about her job security.” Our blended family began to slowly trickle into the dining room, you laid a hand on Mattheo’s shoulder. you kissed his head. We made the appearance of a blissful marriage around them, not wanting a rift to occur between the families, “I'll meet you at the car in 15, darling.”
He tried his hardest to maintain his facade as you kissed him and left. He again watched you walk away, your perfect figure made his body tingle with desire once more. He excused himself from the table.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Mattheo turned the car off and unbuckled his seatbelt first to get out so he could open your door, “are you ready, my dear?” he questioned though he knew the answer. He didn’t think there would be any hesitation from you in regards to what was about to happen.
You nodded, straightening out your skirt. You followed him into the building. You felt uneasy to be around so many people who have caused harm and were plotting to do more. At least your family was safe, as long as you were with the Riddles.
Mattheo noticed and held your hand as he led you to his office, “Nothing is going to happen to you.” He offered you a chair in front of his desk before going around to sit at the main chair.
You couldn’t help but smile, you let it drop just as quick too. It’s all just part of the agreement. If something were to happen to you, poof~ there goes the bloodline.
“Good morning, Mattheo.” A woman with a sickly sweet, sickly high pitched voice said with the entry.
He gave her a brief glimpse, he could already tell he would get a headache. His assistant was wearing a tight fitting top with a ridiculously short skirt, she was pouring him a cup of coffee.
You watched as his eyes followed her, gripping tightly at the chair’s arm. Draco was right, no one in their right mind would think of dressing that skimpy for work, if they were truly just there to get shit done. “It’s Mr. Riddle to you.” You said taking your left hand to your chin, making sure your wedding ring was up and front ready to gawk at.
Mattheo looked at you, he loved the way your demeanor was changing. He could see the jealous and possessive energy oozing off of you. He found it quite intriguing, a part of him wanted to test your limits. He reached out to accept the cup of coffee from his assistant, “is it just like how I like it?” “Yes Mr. Riddle. Just how you like it” she said, leaning over to him, finishing the stir. This made her skirt even tighter and her breasts were there to peep into.
You stared at Mattheo hard, expecting him to say something to the woman. He felt you, he had to admit he also was quite displeased at how his assistant behaved around him, but it was all fun and game.
“Now, what do I have scheduled for today?”
Before the woman could answer you interrupted. “I know one thing you have scheduled, Mattheo.” You tapped your foot. You needed her gone. Now. Draco - you’ll have to thank him at the next dinner party. You should have done something sooner. You can’t believe your husband was letting this slut work around him, dictating what he did by the hour.
Mattheo’s eyebrows slightly rose in surprise, he was a bit caught off guard at your interruption. He was so amused by how impatient you had become.
“Well we do have a meeting to go with the Boyles in an hour, can this wait?” His assistant said puffing her chest out to make it appear larger. You hated that she said we instead of you. That bitch. You got up from your seat, going around the desk to stand behind Mattheo. You snaked both arms over his shoulders and down his chest.
He held back a groan as your soft touch distracted his thoughts for a moment. He loved that you were making it clear he was yours. He snapped out of it when he remembered he was still in the presence of his assistant so he looked back at her, all the mock gone from his voice, “i’ll be quick… You’re fired. You're no longer needed here.”
The blood drained out of the woman’s face, her shoulder’s immediately fell. You gave her a fake condolences look.
“W-wuh why? What did I do? Is this because of the office party last week? It won’t happen again, it was wildly inappropriate.” She composed herself, taking a stab at you with the last portion. You brought your hands to Mattheo’s shoulders and squeezed hard slowly, as to not bring attention to the action.
His eyes darkened, “You knew the rules. My father specifically told you when you started not to try anything with me. But even after making it clear, you still chose to try and make a move on me at my own party.” His voice was deep, hiding the amusement that lay underneath.
Even though you hated the confession, you couldn't help but appreciate Mattheo’s honesty. You lessened the grip on his shoulders, rubbing out the part you dug in your nails as a way of saying thank you.
“I was so drunk Mr. Riddle. I’m terribly sorry. I really need this job. I thought you were needing something else…I thought you weren’t getting pleased right. Mattheo, I'm sorry don’t fire me.” You wanted to scream as she pleaded. You can hear the poison off the back of her tongue. Seriously, that Bitch! With that comment you returned to dig your nails into Mattheo.
“My needs are none of your concern.” Mattheo spat at her, but she was right. He has been craving a certain kind of touch for far too long now. He did enjoy a good begging, no matter who it came from, but he wasn’t going to go against his marriage.
You felt him hold your left hand, flipping it so that both the back of your hands were facing the woman, he was showing your matching rings, “I am perfectly happy in my marriage.” You couldn’t help but wonder if he meant that, or if it was just for show. I was happy too wasn’t I?
The woman looked at your hands that were pressed together, despite her disappointment, she knew there was nothing she could do so she bit her tongue and nodded in response. You watched her every movement, as she collected herself. She still didn’t bother pulling down her skirt or buttoning up her shirt, it was as if she still wanted Mattheo to see what he would have missed out on. To leave this image with him as a parting gift.
He simply stared at the clock, “you have three minutes to collect your things before security arrives to escort you out of the building. Do not leave anything behind because it will be incinerated. My father will deal with your severance…if he gives you anything. Especially after I tell him why I had to fire you.”
She turned to the door, stole a glance back at Mattheo, and left the room. You stayed put behind Mattheo. You didn’t want him to see your face just yet. You needed to cool down.
He groaned loudly and leaned back into your touch, rubbing a hand over his face, “I don’t even know why I kept her for so long. She wasn’t even that good at her job” he smirked, still wanting to test you.
“Don’t play stupid, I know I won't. Clearly there was something going on!” You scoffed, “to think you were getting so mad at Draco for warning me!”
He took your hand pulling you over to sit on his lap, “there was absolutely nothing going on. I didn’t ask her for anything outside of work related things. I would have never let her touch me, she thought I was unhappy in our marriage.”
“Why would she think you were unhappy hmm? Why was she assuming, let’s be honest, she assumed correctly that you weren’t getting needs met. How were you acting with her, tell me now.” You couldn’t help but feel like a little girl on his lap, a little girl who was throwing a tantrum for not wanting to share a beloved stuffed animal.
He rested his chin on your shoulder as he spoke into your ear, “it was probably because I was often short tempered with her, but I promise it was mostly due to her not doing her job correctly.” His lips brushed against your neck.
Yeah that kind of sounds like Mattheo, he liked things done a certain way, and he didn’t like when it veered off the track. But then again, even in school he was a massive flirt. So how much was the tension between the two due to his short temper and how much was his charm?
“She’s not worth even a moment of your thought.” He mumbled against your ear, sending a shiver down to your core. He placed a gentle kiss right under your jaw. His hands ran down your thighs, squeezing ever so lightly.
You let out a faint moan, “Mattheo…” You couldn’t remember exactly the last time you were like this, it was very rare. While in school, you remembered how everyone wanted him. He allowed them to play games with him, he loved to toy with them too. But the girls knew, they ultimately knew they had no chance ending up with him. Our arranged marriage wasn’t a secret.
He continued to press kisses over your neck, occasionally nipping and sucking gently on your skin, enjoying the way your body responded to his touch. He grabbed one leg and forced you to face him, your knees now on either side of his thighs, straddling him. He then wordlessly cast a spell on the door with his wand, so it wouldn’t be opened. He didn’t even look at the door, he didn’t need to carefully aim. You could feel your core getting embarrassingly wet at the simple gesture. “Mattheo, we shouldn’t..” you panted.
“Maybe you’re right…” He responded, though he didn’t stop his ministrations. He captured your lips with his, kissing you hungrily as he pressed his body against yours. His hands exploring over your body.
You let your hands go up the back of his neck, tugging at his dark curls. They were so soft and velvety. Fuck. He felt so good, you could feel him press against yourself. You forgot how big he was, you wanted to just dry hump him to feel satisfied with yourself right now. You couldn’t bring yourself to it, you tried to speak between his hasty sloppy kisses, “Matty…you do have a meeting soon.”
He loosened his grip ever so slightly, “then do your job. and cancel. it.” He said through gritted teeth, planting kisses on your collarbone. Without looking he pulled his phone closer to you. He hoped you would make the right choice.
You nodded shifting in his lap, earning a groan. What a start to my new job. “What’s the extension to Boyle’s assistant?” You grabbed the receiver trying to hold it and keep your breath steady. Mattheo whispered it against your ear lobe. You grew impatient once more as you continued to hear it ring on the other end. C’mon answer.
“Hello, how may I direct your call?”
“Hi um” you looked down at Mattheo’s sweet brown eyes that were following you, pleading with yours, you tried to get him to pause with his lip exploration for a second, “I’m Mr. Riddles’ new assistant - we..I..we..sorry he needs to” damn ..girl I NEED TO! Mattheo muffled his own giggle with his hand. Enjoying how you kept messing up, obviously your mind has started to get clouded.
“Y/N/N?” The woman on the other receiver said, your old nickname from school.
“Oh my god, Daphne? Hey! I didn’t recognize your voice…!”
He watched you with slight amusement.
Daphne started to ramble on about how she started at this job, on any other day you would have totally loved to entertain her and catch up. You got along very well, but you cut her off as she explained, “um Daphne, we should go out for some coffee soon, we can talk then. It’s just that Mattheo needs the meeting with the Boyles rescheduled.”
“Oh..okay..is everything alright? It was an important meeting…”
Not as important as this.
“Everything is fine, is there a different time we can meet? Push it back a couple more hours?” You looked over at his schedule that his previous slut of an assistant left. You both ended up agreeing on a later time, you quickly thanked her and said goodbye. You clicked the receiver down, putting the do not disturb on for good measure too.
“Where were we?” you shyly said, looking at his eyes that were gleaming with desire and excitement.
“I was thinking we could restart from here..” He readjusted you back on his lap, slipping a hand under your skirt skimming along the line of your panty.
You missed his touch, his hands could sometimes be so cold to the touch that they felt like they left a burning trail. He pulled back slightly, picking you up by your ass to set you down on the edge of his desk. He used his hands to open your legs wider, ever so gently “Is it okay if I touch you right here?” you were already nodding before he finished, “Use your words with me. Do you want me to touch you here?” He padded his thumb against your core, still over your panties. “Yes Mattheo, please please touch me.”
“That’s my girl.” He smiled proudly, he could already feel the want and need pouring off of you, and it was driving him equally if not more insane. He pushed your skirt up higher, revealing yourself to him. Ran his hands over your hips massaging them as you had done the night before. They felt so soft and squishy.
You couldn’t help but throw your head back, leaning on your forearms. You moved your head forward to look at him when he retracted his hands. He had sat back down in his chair, admiring how he had you. You felt like you were under a microscope, to be so exposed. You tried pressing your legs back together.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, “don’t hide. Let me see you.” he pushed your knees back apart to regain his view. He pulled your dominant hand forward, he also leaned forward so you could touch the side of his face, “show me how you please yourself.” He watched with a hungry expression, clearly enjoying how you blushed and got flustered. Mattheo gently rubbed his thumb along your burning cheek softly, then traced it against your bottom lip asking for entry, “there’s no need to be shy with me, my love.” His voice was sweet and soft, “I promise I wont judge you, you are my wife after all.”
You let his thumb go into your mouth. You sucked on it, not once breaking eye contact, “shit y/n, that’s my pretty princess.” with his free hand he slid underneath his own pants and readjusted himself into a comfortable position. He took your dominant hand once more, putting it over your core. “Show me.”
You hesitated again to make a move on yourself, Mattheo pulled his thumb out of your mouth so he could wrap his hand around your neck, “don’t make me say it again.”
Oh my shit. “Sorry” you managed to choke out through his alternating grip intensity. You went over your panties to play yourself. You were so wet. Your hand was shaking with nerves as you rubbed over your entrance, letting your slick arousal coat them before moving them between your folds and finally at your clit. Mattheo was looking down at your movements. The hand that wasn’t around your neck, he helped by holding your panties out of the way, “so pretty, you’re glistening.”
“You..you have this effect on me Matty. This is all for you.”
“Good, you’re mine.” He choked you hard then lessened it once more, “and i'm yours.” He kissed you again before watching you play with yourself. You kept rubbing your clit for him. He let go of your neck, you felt your blood rush back to your brain. Mattheo unbuttoned your top, unclasped your bra and started to play with your breasts. Alternating and teasing each nipple. “So perfect.” He grinned against your nipples, biting it and blowing cool air on it. You yelped and he covered your mouth, “shhh.” He unlatched himself from you and sat down. He rubbed himself through his pants before undoing his belt. His eyes never left your wet core, it was purring for him.
He let out a small sign, laughing. You felt insecure for a split second, “what?”
“Nothing..you’re just doing..it wrong”
“Huh?”
“Here let me help you, princess. I’ll show you how I'd do it.” he moved his chair closer, moving your hand away. He just rubbed the middle and ring finger along your heat, it grant him a moan, “y/n, as much as I love hearing you like this. You’ve gotta stay quiet.”
You bit your lip hard, “I’ll try Mattheo but..”
“None of that, you must do as I say.” he gently inserted one finger inside you, curling it up against your wall. You moaned louder. He whipped his single digit out, “you’re so needy, even with a single finger? Sweet Salazar, what am I going to do with you? You’re hopeless.” He let out a haughty laugh.
“Baby..please.” You watched him stand up, taking his belt off the loops of his pants. You thought he was finally doing to give you what you wanted most, but instead he just wrapped it around your head, tightening it around your mouth, closing it.
“I’m really sorry I have to do this baby girl, but you just wont keep your mouth shut.” He wasn’t a bit sorry, you can tell by how he looked down at the sight of you. He was actually quite pleased. He gave you a kiss on the forehead, it was a sharp contrast to the leather belt wrapped around your mouth. Seeing you like this was beyond his wildest dreams, gagged before him. Mattheo sat back down continuing where he left off, but this time he inserted two of his fingers. He didn’t allow you to adjust to them. The belt indeed muted your cry. It hurt, you didn’t dare use two of your own fingers on yourself, and here he was with hands that were twice the size of yours.
“You’re doing so well for me, princess.” He whispered, inserting his fingers all the way and pulling them out the same. You felt a tear running down your cheek. He began to rhythmically curve them when they were inside you. The pain was quickly subdued with pleasure. You laid back on the desk arching yourself so he could go in deeper, “so now you want more huh?”
Still fingering you, he went back to suck on your nipples. He towered over you, you shook your head, “what is it?” He looked at your concern. You looked at his fully clothed body, wrapping your hand around his tie. You were naked, apart from your skirt, but it was so bunched up at your hips it didn’t matter. You couldn’t be the only one bare right now, you want to see his body, “how are you still bossy with your mouth shut?” He laughed, pushing your hand away, “news flash, I’m your boss now. You don’t tell me what to do.”
Despite his words, he did take off his tie first, wrapping it around your wrists, goddammit, before taking off his suit jacket and unbuttoning his shirt only half way. You could look at his chest that was peaking. You felt yourself drool against the belt.
He sat back down and continued to finger you relentlessly. He pulled out and tasted his fingers, “too bad you’re gagged. I would have liked you to taste yourself. At least I have your cunt to myself.” he welcomed himself into you again. He slowly ran his warm tongue up your slit, stopping at your clit. He did this a couple of times. It was so agonizing. Your eyes were bobbing around unable to stay open. With your hands tied you were still able to hold his head down to stop and focus on your clit.
Mattheo would have swatted your hands away, but he needed your touch as well. He wanted to make you feel amazing, he wanted you to forget your name and only respond to “wife”. But god did he also just want to already bury his cock deep inside you to feel some relief. He needed to be patient.
Your breath began to get shallow and unsteady. He groaned against your clit, your pussy was repeatedly clenching around his fingers, indicating you were close.
His lips curled devilishly, he was thinking about denying your orgasm. He only wanted you to cum on his cock and nothing else. The only reason why he didn’t is because he loved the taste of you too much to stop, “you can do it, doll. Come for me let me taste it.”
You began to shake and grab a fist full of curls as you came. He gradually slowed down, helping you ride out your orgasm. You felt so relaxed.
He looked so full of himself. He pulled his face away from you, his lips were red and swollen from his own work. Mattheo held up his right hand, the one that was fingering you, you could see the wetness on it.
With his clean hand he pulled down his pants and underwear in one quick motion. Rubbing his cock with his right hand, letting your cum wet it. He used two fingers to beacon you over, before he realized you couldn’t move. He left your wrists still tied, and pulled you forward onto your feet. “Look me in the eye, princess. Do you promise to be quiet now?”
You could only nod. That was enough for him, because he had other plans to occupy your mouth. He removed the belt around your mouth. With your still bonded hands you wiped the spit around your mouth, “God, damn.”
He laughed, “I don't remember being called God before, but you can't continue with its use.”
Before you could reply with something snarky, he pushed you down onto your knees and had the tip of his cock at your lips, “Sorry, I can’t actually trust you to be quiet, so open wide and take it.”
You obeyed. Though you could only take nearly half of it before it started your gag reflex, “i love that sound baby,” he signed, “is it too big for you?” He didn’t really care for an answer, of course it was. It would have just inflated his ego more.
“C’mon and let me in more.” slobber just kept going down your chin and onto your breasts. He bucked his hips at the sight, “you’re so fucking pretty.” Mattheo gathered your hair into two bunches, using them as handlebars. He was straight throat fucking you at this point. You began to feel faint, and he saw it too, so he pulled his cock all the way out allowing you to breathe. “You’re doing so good.” He kissed you on the lips, using his shirt to help clean your chin.
You were just about to say thank you when he reinserted his cock into your mouth. You pull your head back and he actually allows you. With your bound hands you stroke the portion of his cock that you couldn’t take in, pumping it. Admiring the veins running down it . You wrap your lips around his lip, swirling your tongue around. His precum was like a classified drug to you, it was so delicious. You kept at your pace wanting more to come out, “you’re obsessed” Mattheo pointed out thrilled.
“Talk to me, love” He touched your ear lobe.
You spoke to him with his cock still in your mouth, so it slurred your speech, “yob ase s’ gob.”
He chuckled but groaned with the vibrations your voice made, “what was that?”
You stopped sucking, “you taste so good!” you smile at him. This brought him to his knees, literally he kneeled beside you, he removed the tie around your wrists rubbing them for you. Both your eyes are on the same level now.
“You really are beautiful.” He said causing you to blush. “Don’t turn all shy on me now, princess.” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear in a soft gesture. “We’re far from being shy with each other right now.” Mattheo kissed you.
“I just like hearing you say that, my king.”
With a voice filled with affectionate warmth, “when you call me that it makes me want to keep you by my side forever, my precious princess.” He began to kiss you harder, “I want to keep you forever.” He pushed his soft side out of the way and pushed you onto your knees in front of him You arched your back so your ass was in the air, “this is what you fucking teased me with last night.”
You laughed, “yeah I know.”
“So you wanted this bad huh?”
“Yess Matty I want you.”
He admired the scene in front of him. He kneaded your ass, biting it and making your cry again. “Don’t make me use the belt again.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll be quiet now.” You cupped your own mouth. You saw his jacket on the floor and took it under your head.
“You’re so obedient, it's very good. How haven’t I bred you sooner? I want you pregnant with the next Riddle heir.” He ran a hand slowly over your back, gently but possessively.
“I have actually been thinking the same thing. My body is ready for your seed, im..im ready for it.”
When you agreed with his wish it only made something in him pop, something shifted in Mattheo’s eyes. The hunger and desire growing.
He spat out at your spread exposed pussy, as if it wasn’t already sopping wet. He just liked the idea of having his bodily fluids in you. He rubbed his full length on the outside of your slit, teasing you, “you think your tiny pussy can take my cock better than your mouth?”
Shit…actually that was an honest question. The few times you tried already, you were only able to take in 3/4th of his length before tearing and asking him to stop. Plus you both haven’t fucked in a long while, “Matty, I’ll try by best…” you sounded a little uneased.
He pulls on your arm turning you to look behind at him, “We don't have to rush this. But I promise i’ll make it good for you if you let me. You’re my wife and you will be the mother of my children soon enough.” He let go of you, bending over to kiss your shoulder blades, biting them roughly before going to your ear, “I’ll try to take it slow, but I really need you to take all of me in, darling. I need my seed to make it directly into your womb. I don’t want it to possibly drip out. You can do it.”
You moaned at his words of encouragement, you will try your best. He continued to stroke your hair, “listen to me: you’re my everything. And I won't let you get hurt, okay?” He kissed your temple, “if it is too unbearable, just tell me and I'll stop. Nothing is more important to me than your comfort and trust…but I do want you to give me a baby. A couple of them.” He laughed like his usual self, “so please try hard to take me like a good girl.”
You pulled at his hair harshly, “just fuck me Riddle.” with that he slapped your ass leaving a red welt in the shape of his hand and squeezing it to lengthen the pain, “atta girl”. He finger fucked you a little bit more before realigning the tip of his dick to your hole.
You closed your eyes, and he began to press into you. It wasn't so bad, actually it already felt amaz - -- okay nevermind. He felt you squeeze around him, and he stopped to reassess the situation, “please princess, let me in.”
“Matty I don’t…I dont think I can” you gripped onto his jacket for dear life.
“You can and you will.” He reached over to rub your clit, it helped relax you and he kept sinking deeper and deeper in you. You bit the jacket. It was a crazy mix of pain and pleasure.
“There we go.” he was satisfied, he was finally balls deep inside you, “see I knew you could do it.” He stayed still trying to let your pussy try to adjust around him, “you’re so fucking tight. Actually, I was having second thoughts, but here we are.” He said proudly kissing your neck from behind.
“You’re so fucking huge Mattheo, you’re too good to me.”
“I adore you” he whispered, “there’s no one else like you. You’re…you’re the love of my life. Both our parents saw that before we did. They knew we were meant for each other when they arranged our marriage.” He groaned as you squeezed him purposefully this time.
“I love you Mattheo. I do.” You manage, your words felt true to each other. With a tender grip he starts to move his hips slowly away from you only to slam back in. Watching your face for any sign you wanted him to stop but all he got was a smile and, “I’ll give you as many children as you want.”
Without proper warning he quickened his pace holding you face down to the floor. You closed your eyes tightly, locking your jaw. You inhaled his smell through his jacket. Pain was being replaced with a pleasurable numbness. Your brain was going utterly stupid, “make me pregnant Mattheo. Let me make you into a proper daddy.”
He chuckled at that, “fucking take my dick then. I’ll make you the most beautiful mommy there is. You're such a good wife and I know you’ll be the best mother to my children.”
Mattheo pressed his hand just under your belly button, he took one of your hands and pressed it there with you, “can you feel my cock, darling? You can feel it through your tummy.”
“Yes I can. I feel so full.” You moan.
His grunt and thrusts began to get sloppy, his balls slapping against your clit. It made you roll your eyes behind your head, “princess, I think…”
“Me too, let's cum together. Let's mix ourselves more.” You raised your ass higher, tilting it ignoring the back pain you were getting.
“I’m going to fill you up even more,” he whimpered, his voice faltering as if he was about to cry, “don't let anything drip out. Take it all in okay?” You nodded, holding your head up and twisting it so uncomfortably around to the side so you can watch him release himself into you. What a sight for sore eyes.
His curls were plastered onto his forehead with sweat, his cheeks were flushed. Mattheo’s eyes looked back at your eyes with a longing you haven't seen before, “I love you Y/N. thank you thank you thank you.” He began to repeat, as he shot a large load into you. He was right, you could feel your tummy grow already. You followed shortly after, squeezing and milking his cock out more.
His breath was coming out in ragged gasps as he came down from his climax. His body was trembling, but he held you tightly. His face buried in the crook of your neck, “that was incredible.” He looked at you with adoration and contentment, “you’ve given me everything i’ve ever wanted. Thank you.”
“Thank you for choosing me after all.”
Mattheo was about to pull out, but you didn’t allow him. You pulled at his shirt, making him spoon you on the floor. You wanted to warm his cock, but also use it to continue plugging in his cum inside of you, to be marinated. You told him this too, and he flushed, “hey you said we wouldn’t be getting shy with each other, it’s too late for that.” He laughed making his dick still twitch inside you, you let out a moan. He grinned mischievously. You gave him an uncertain look.
Mattheo looked at the clock “yeah we should probably just move the meeting to a different day.”
“Do I really have to call it in again?”
“Yes yes you do, you’re my new assistant remember?”
“Yeah and soon to be the mother of your children too.”
He wrapped his arms around you in a loving embrace. “I promise to take care of you and our little ones,” he said with sincerity, “You’ll be the most beautiful, loving mother, and I'll support you every step of the way.”
He tugged on the phone’s cord, pulling it so that it drops on the floor beside the two of you, “go on call again. Move it for next week.” He starts kissing your jaw again, moving his hips and slithering his hand back to your clit, “I hope you didn’t think we were finished, I think I can give you more of my cum to hold.”
“Mattheo…”
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insomnia is fucking killing me man. I have shit to do tomorrow why is it taking me longer than 2 hours to get to sleep 😐
#its so stupid i got up early and i had a rough day i should be shattered by now why wont it switch off!!!!!!!#im not anxious or worried abt anything im literally just lying there and breathing. i ate dinner at a regular time. no caffeine.#stuck to my routine all day. i didnt work out bc im still sore from the last couple days but i went for a walk so ive been active!!#i changed the sheets yesterday so my bed is clean + comfy its dark in here its not too warm im checking every box this is just silly#i dont even have acid reflux for once#love sleepinf and being asleep fr. wish i was better at it. im so jealous of ppl who can just close their eyes and drift off#ughfhffn. maybe ill read for a bit before i try again#.diaries
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I know I've just had the most relentless several months but I am. tired. just completely exhausted.
#gonna spend the evening lying on my couch watching something stupid#I'd been working REALLY hard on the museum manual for months#and had literally just finished it the day before my dad had a heart attack#and I had to cancel my holiday#and then while we were dealing with everything around my dad and getting administration rights for my mum etc I got covid#and the past couple of weeks there's been trouble at work#the friend I'm doing the project with has been changing things - big things - without discussing it with anyone or even letting people know#she also ignored me for a full week#and now I got told by someone else that she's going to work less because she's so stressed out it's affecting her health#and I swear to god if she puts the blame on me I will get her kicked out of this project and I'll do the rest of it myself#tbh I'm very highkey debating washing the dishes and then just going to bed at like 9 pm#I'm just done with everything
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