#literally its such a hard situation to navigate

[theempressofthenile]

astro thoughts - short n sweet: all about mars

Mars in 1st house - These individuals have a strong presence to their aura. These people could be workaholics as far as being in the gym goes. They could have a lot of energy to get things done so they can seem pretty intimating around people who don't have strong martian energy. They can be scapegoated because their boldness tends to rub people off the wrong way.

Mars in the 2nd house - A passion for getting the things they want with little to no effort. Hard work pays off. They dont have time to waste on mundane things, they simply want to relax but it seems too much for them sometimes. I say for this group, give yourself that time to chillax for a bit... the world aint what it seems sometimes.

Mars in the 3rd house - Could have a lot of outbursts from time to time, they feel things just a little differently than others and could be pretty opinionated. They have a lot of use for people who can debates with them on topics. They need someone who can go toe to toe with them at times, or else they'll get bored. They are very fast learners. Could also have a thousand hobbies because none of them could keep them occupied enough, and thats okay.

Mars in the 4th house - Could be overstimulated with family issues as this placement can make them the scape goat/black sheep. They are not afraid to say whats on their mind. There could also have been volatile experiences growing up in the house, so their a little open to having gentle partners/friendships because the toxic environment could have left them strifled.

Mars in the 5th house - These people like to live life on the edge, they need something to get them out of their racing mind. There quick learners just like the 3rd house babes, and they need someone who can match their fly. Could be a sex maniac with this placement. Needs someone who they can be passionate with.

Mars in the 6th house - WORKAHOLICS... please. just get some rest. What I love about this placement is that they NEVER STOP UNTIL THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT. They are powerhouses for sure. Because they wont eat, sleep,relax until they get the results. Literally blood sweet and tears is their motto.. They gotta get it done one way or another.

Mars in the 7th house - Incredible sex drive. Just like their friends in the 5th house, they need someone who can bring them passionate energy. They can bring the house down with their fiery energy alone, but they need someone to match their flow or else they will run that individual to the ground. It be like that sometimes.The more mars energy the more this can be a problem.

Mars in the 8th house - Damn. Damn. Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is probably one of the best placements to have with mars because 1. its in its rightful house (it is a ruler of scorpio). They're sex appeal is powerful. It will have anyone dropping to their knees. They are psychologically aware of people and their intentions and they can use this to their advantage. Dark feminine energy is a strong aspect for this placement. I could go on, but decided to keep it cute for now lol.

Mars in the 9th house - May have a tendency to travel outside of their homeland at some point in their life. This is necessary for their growth as an individual. They need to be alone more than usually so they can see the world from a different point of view. They are very intelligent creatures and give their all to know more than what they've been given in their short time span on this earth. They have a gift at teaching people how to navigate life through their own lense. Its a difficult path to say the least, because they always have to be confident in the face of trouble. But they always come abck out with ease.

Mars in the 10th house - Strong presence. Very practical nature. Has issues with the public eye from time to time. Could master the art of thought and can handle any situation most would crumble in. The life they lead isn't for the weak. It seems like they have an arrow on their back from time to time, but to no avail they use the energy to their advantage at some point. Great leaders, could have jealous friends/associates around them so they must be cautious.

Mars in the 11th house - LIke their friends in the tenth house, they are also really good at leadership. In their friend groups they can be considered the 'alpha' or the person who tends to plan out things or just knows what to do in general. It reminds me of blossom in the power puff girls to say the least. Their capable of taking on goals and commitments most people probably couldn't take. Just be careful you don't wanna make them mad. They can have a lot of disputes with friends and associates for the wrong reasons.

Mars in the 12th house - Mind over matter. Thats their theme. They could have a lot of issues with people and this could seem out of no where. A lot of hidden enemies with this placement :( It seems like no one likes them but they have a raw special energy to them thats hard to ignore. A lot of people do want to be around them but for some reason they can sort of despise them and it could be something subconscious and this is where a lot of the hidden hate comes from. This group has to be more open to the heart than most because its easier to shut back down after always being around people who use them for their personal gain.

let me know what you think :)

[torglives]

on pangi and abandonment

awhile ago, on stream, lukey threw around the words commitment issues when talking about tr pangkey. it is more likely than not that he was talking about his own character, but a lot of the audience assumed he was taking a shot at pangi. which is very… hmm! not in a bad way, i think it just goes to show how easy it is to misinterpret his actions if you aren't clocked into the way he navigates his relationships with people.

he obviously has issues, but with his attachments they stem more from (i'd argue entirely from) his deep-rooted fear of abandonment rather than commitment.

pangi is passionately committed to people. this has never been something he's tried to hide or keep secret. it's something that cc pili mentioned during an on-stream ooc conversation about pangili/pangkey (watch that whole conversation, actually. he's nailed pangi's character very well. and his own obviously but that's a given. i love pili) -- "there is you who, i feel like you have separation anxiety to some degree. i feel like you're very "it's this person, or nothing." ... kind of like a ride or die situation." -- he brings up also, why this was such a point of contention between pangili1, because they had very different attachment styles, with mocha tending to lean towards avoidant attachment.

in the clip linked, a chatter says "abandonment issues hmm i wonder why (lifesteal)"-- and that's the perfect segway for me to drag ls pangi back into the spotlight. yay! i've said this before, but lifesteal and pangi's relationships on the server/throughout its history are probably one of the most important keys to really understanding him. on lifesteal, pangi has never truly been anyone's first choice. he devotes himself to people, to causes, but no matter how hard he'll ride or die for those things, it is never reciprocated. at his core, he is very lonely. he's not wanted in the way he wants to be wanted, but gives it his all anyway. it always ends the same way, he always ends up the same way: alone. quite literally abandoned.

of course this translates into the realm, and pangi finally finds someone who, to him, is what he's been looking for--his ride or die. his person, as much as he is theirs--in pili. it's pili or nothing, and this is the first time it's been mutual, so he plays it by ear. he lets it grow into co-dependancy willingly, because to be wanted is everything he's been looking for. but pangi is no stranger to abandonment, and during their first crisis, when pili says 'i don't trust you anymore,' pangi shuts down. he tries re-working over that open wound that pili left in his (VERY BRIEF) absence, because it's how he's learned to adapt. they, of course, come back together. and then pili dies, brutally, in front of him, with clown in mind. in february, after mocha died, i wrote this in an (outdated) (so i won’t link it) thought post:

pangi, as a character, is unable to linger. he feels the need to jump from thing to thing, never giving himself the proper time to sit and process. when his worst fear is proven, when he is shown that he isn't wanted or needed somewhere--he shuts down the part of himself that was trying to be wanted and needed. his way of 'staying on top of it all' is just adding another layer. he buries it under something new, and tries to forget about it and barrel onto the next thing. it never works.

which applies here too. i think it says everything i could even say. pili dies, and pangi is once again alone. despite his commitment, despite pili’s, it wasn’t enough.

and then ros and aimsey come along, and they’re kind to him--they get stuck in the null together, and nobody else can understand that outside the three of them. they both say things like "it’s us against the world," and "the three of us," and this works for awhile. pangi has people he can devote himself to, but this time it’s different, because there’s a disconnect--there’s a part of pangi that they don’t understand, the parts that more or less belonged to pili. pangi gives his all, but more importantly, his trust, but he’s never been great with words, and there’s no intrinsic understanding of violence like he’s used to, so it causes fallout. pili and pangi shared a similar mindset, that’s part of what made them work so well. for pangi, pili had aspects of home. ros and aimsey, despite how much they care, don’t understand that culture. ros breaks his trust, once, and to him, that’s abandonment. that’s always been a tell-tale sign of it. that’s betrayal, so pangi refuses to linger. he kills at the ball, takes the brunt of their anger, and leaves, because someone must leave. someone always must leave, so he does.

aimsey finds him a few days after, and says: "why did you think we hated you? it’s not like you do one thing that makes us upset and suddenly you’re the worst person in the world." -- but honestly, that’s all pangi knows. it’s all, or it’s nothing.

he still cares about them, so much, but it has put a permanent strain on their relationship, on his trust for them, because they don’t understand each other in the same way. he cannot be truly devoted to them, because he has been shown that they are not truly devoted to him. and that’s not their fault, not at all, it’s simply a gap in understanding. it’s something that pangi doesn’t understand about them, or them about pangi.

what’s that quote? "if you give me the slightest hint of abandonment and withdrawal, i would outdo you."

i could go into detail about the intricacies with his relationship with lukey too, but if you compare them to the points i’ve listed i’m sure you can draw the conclusions yourself--why they work so well, aligning in areas that have been missing.

people are very familiar with his hate, because it burns bright and is unavoidable. people are less familiar with his love, just as passionate, because it is easier to overlook, it’s less common. he is undoubtably devoted to those he hates and those he loves, and is consumed by how he feels for both of them. he will always commit, but is terrified at the slightest taste of being left behind, of being a second choice. of not meaning to others what they mean to him. again. it’s all, or it’s nothing.

[wingfleur]

holy shit i love both your grayson fics (both graysons). i like imagining either one jealous cuz theyd have such different reactions. lemme read the jason todd one too. i love your work ong

eee, hello, nonnie! thank u for the kind words! i really hope u enjoyed the jason fic— i got a brainworm, blacked out, and emerged w 1000 words of freak shit... whoops! and i’m about to do the same thing here! 😛

but as for the graysons... i don't think jealous!mark has ever really crossed my mind for real up until now. kinda shocking, honestly, bc i think about him a lot, but i think it's because i always imagine him in scenarios where he and reader are both young, dumb, and totally into each other. like, there's never much room for jealousy bc there's never much room for anybody else. but now that i'm thinking about it... mark would be so whiny and pouty when he's jealous, LMAO. like, if you're not together, but kinda got something going on and are intentionally trying to make him jealous? you'd literally be able to see his frustration bc he carries it in his shoulders, but it would take him a while to crack and say smth about it. oh, and william shoulders the brunt of his whining. like, if it gets to a certain point, he'll actually start hitting ur phone and beg u to stop ducking mark so yall can sort this out and he can go back to living a peaceful life. but in a jealous!mark x mean!reader scenario? like one where u don't really gaf about him fr, but that's exactly what makes his dick hard 😭? omg... all the other people you've gone on dates with and came to class with hickies from have not been in spite of mark at ALL bc u don't even register he exists half the time. it's literally just u living ur life, and he knows this!!!, but he still gets his panties in a twist over it </3 and i promise u that william is sick and tired of his bullshit in this au too, LOL. he's literally this 🤏🏽 close to telling mark to take his girl problem— singular— and his humiliation kink— bc that's what it is at this point— and get tf on!

as for dick, canonically, i don't think he's the jealous type. he's more of a "tell me if u want me fr, bc if not, lets break up so u don’t cheat on me and i’ll have to compartmentalize it, move on, and break down about it a year later" type of guy. no harm, no foul, but a bit of love lost. but ex-bf!dick? oh bitch, he's another story... and i don't even know if i would call him the jealous type or not bc if you and him are/were fucking around and you tried to push him out of the picture, he'd be nothing but annoying and invasive about it, LMFAO. his reaction is purely situational: the circumstances are what will tell me if he's actually jealous and lowkey-highkey super butthurt about it, or if he doesn't gaf fr and is solely doing this out of spite 😭. and ex-bf!dick doesn't really care about what you want fr either, bc what you need is him, and he knows you know that, yet all you do play... :/ worst part is he's ridiculously confident about it, too. like, he has absolutely no issue forcing himself back into ur circle and poking at ur boundaries bc he knows whoever you're seeing right now doesn't hold a candle to how good he can treat u; its only a matter of time before u drop ur guard. but its okay! what u like is the chase, and luckily, he does too!, but play time is over, sweetheart, so quit messing around and take off them drawls 🤷🏽‍♀️

# — navigation

[therealcocoshady]

Request please🤗: Marshall x Reader, he's extra protective of her while she's pregnant

A/N : Hey ! I know you posted that Ask a while ago but I recently found it while sorting through them, and I wrote a little blurb. I hope you like it 💕.

Shields Up

CW : Pregnancy - Mention of past miscarriage - Marshall Mathers being protective

As a public figure, you were used to rumors. You had chosen this life and you were fully aware that it came with the territory. As a content creator, your job was literally based on your ability to get people’s attention, after all. After years of hard work, you had gathered a pretty huge following and you had quickly learned that the bigger you were, the more rumors would emerge. Collaborations, alleged feuds, made-up drama and, of course, dating rumors. Nothing seemed to be off the table for the media outlets and, even though it hadn’t been easy to navigate at first, you had grown accustomed to it. In fact, most of the time, you didn’t go out of your way to confirm nor deny anything. You just focused on doing what you loved, making good content and your fans were used to you being private on some parts of your life and you were often praised for your ability to be honest, sometimes vulnerable, without giving too much away. People seemed to like the fact that you weren’t ready to commodify your privacy and your relationships for engagement and clickbait.

So, when rumors started to emerge about you dating Eminem, no one was exactly surprised that both of you stayed silent. After all, you were both known to be notoriously private, focusing on your careers and preferring that the attention remained on your work you put out. That being said, none of you got out of your way to hide the relationship either, so anyone who was looking out for subtle clues could probably find them. You followed some of his friends and family members on Instagram, were sometimes spotted to events he would perform at… It was that kind of situation of something basically being public knowledge without ever being broadcasted.

After years spend together, you were in agreement that it was better that your relationship was kept separate from your professional, public personas. Both of you were known to have a strong work ethic and, though you didn’t have any expertise in music and he didn’t understand much about content creation, you respected each other’s career too much to let your relationship overshadow anything. You knew full-well that, no matter how good you were at your jobs, some of the attention would inevitably be focused on your personal lives. Detroit being a fairly small city, it wasn’t rare for you to attend the same events as him, but you always made sure to arrive separately and not engage in PDA. At most, you’d been spotted chatting on a couple of occasions over the years, but nothing in your demeanors indicated that there was any intimacy between the two of you. Until you got pregnant, at least.

As soon as you handed him the positive pregnancy test, Marshall instantly became more protective of you. You were both overjoyed by the news. Emotional, too. Almost a year prior, you had accidentally gotten pregnant. It wasn’t planned by any means, but you both agreed to keep the baby. Sadly, you ended up miscarrying a few weeks later, still in the early first trimester. Before then, you had always said you didn’t need to raise kids to feel fulfilled, and Marshall had been pretty adamant about not wanting more kids. But the event changed everything, stirring something deep within you, and it didn’t take long before you started actively trying. The miscarriage had been a tough pill to swallow, at first, but none of you really addressed it. After all, you knew it wasn’t a rare occurence, and that these things happened. But you didn’t realized how badly it had left its marks on Marshall until you got pregnant again.

He did not become overbearing of controlling - it just wasn’t him - but there was a new, unmistakable layer of attentiveness and protectiveness. It started with him making sure you were alright throughout the day, reminding you to eat, hydrate and rest, often checking in on how you were feeling. The second you expressed any discomfort, such as fatigue or nausea, he would step in, ready to do anything to make it easier for you. The thermostat would be perfectly adjusted, the fridge always stocked with your favorite snacks and he even got some of the specific teas the doctor had recommended. Of course, he absolutely refused to have you carry anything remotely heavy - not even your oversized tote - and whenever you started talking about deadlines for your projects, he reminded you that the last thing you needed was stress.

You thought he’d keep on maintaining his distance at public events - at least as long as you kept the pregnancy hidden. However, you were proven wrong when you both attended a fundraiser for some Detroit charity. As usual, he skipped the red carpet while you did the photo call but, as soon as you were done, you spotted him, waiting for you. Usually, he’d be in some corner of the room, talking to Paul or some acquaintances, but his attention was unmistakably on you. Throughout the night, he didn’t hover or smother you, but he kept closer than usual, and when you walked through the crowded room, he guided you with a hand placed on the small of your back, shielding you from jostling bodies.

« Are you alright? » you asked quietly, to which he hummed and nodded. « You don’t have to stay so close, you know, » you gently reminded him, your tone teasing and affectionate, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. « Just looking out for you both » he murmured with a faint grin. Your heart swelled and you couldn’t help but find him adorable, so much so that it took a lot of self-control on your part not to kiss him right then and there. Instead, you simply stood there, smiling at each other. As the night event on, you were both solicited by friends and acquaintances, but you could still feel Marshall’s sharp gaze on you, scanning each and every individual that engaged with you, as if to make sure they weren’t a threat. As the night wore on, Marshall’s vigilance didn’t waver. He made sure you always had a glass of water nearby and checked in with you subtly, asking if she needed to sit or if you were getting too warm under the venue’s lights. At one point, when he noticed the press swarmed near the entrance, he positioned himself slightly in front of you, a silent barrier that made it clear you weren’t to be overwhelmed or bothered in any way. By the time you left, you were both exhausted and grateful. You expected to leave in separate cars, as you always did, but instead of sticking to the usual routine, he opened the door and helped you in. Cameras flashed, capturing the rare moment, but none of you really cared. You were simply looking forward to the perspective of heading home for some much-needed rest, and you could tell that he needed to have you close, at least for his own peace of mind.

By the next morning, the Internet was ablaze. Photos and videos from the fundraiser were everywhere, showing the two of you together in ways that left no room for ambiguity. People were notably crazy about one picture, where he could be spotted guiding you through a small crowd, one hand on your back. Twitter threads speculated wildly. « We’ve seen him with her before, but this? This is different, » one user wrote, linking to a clip of him helping her into the car. « I’m telling you, they’re not hiding it anymore. ». The speculation grew more intense with every passing hour. Was this your way of confirming the relationship? Were you going public after years of silence? Marshall, as always, ignored the noise. He spent the morning in his home studio, tinkering with beats, while you scrolled through your phone, half-amused and half-exasperated by the Internet’s obsession. You walked over, wrapping your arms around him from behind. « You know, you’re kind of bad at the whole ‘keeping a low profile’ thing lately. ». He tilted his head back, looking at you with mock indignation. « I’m just making sure you’re good. They’re the ones reading into it. » You laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. « Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty amazing. »

[mochazai]

𝙇𝙤𝙠𝙞 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙀𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨 : 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

Summery: Loki’s helps you up when all you can see is down

Pairing: Loki x Gender Neutral! Reader

A/N: Heyy y’all tonight was a pretty rough night so here’s some Loki comfort HCs I wrote to vent it out, hope y’all enjoy and it helps you out ad much as it did me <3

Masterlist [menu]

Loki of all people knows what its like to hate yourself. To despise yourself so much you want to rip off your skin and be someone else, so when you start hurting yourself with your words, negative thoughts and self hate his heart shatters in his chest. Because he knows what it feels like and he doesn’t want you to suffer the same way

He’s memorised your tell-tale signs. He knows when you’re spiraling or doubting yourself and he shows up to comfort you or be whatever you want him to be.

Whether it be a puppy who’s so fluffy a single cuddle is enough to drown out your sorrows or just his calm, empathetic, princely self. He’ll show up for you like no one before him ever had.

On nights where you’re scared he’ll leave you, when you feel like you’re too much, he’ll hold your hand and softly tell you how no matter what, you’re his. And you’re the only one he wants to spend the rest of his long life with.

The king of intuitive affirmations. Loki knows what its like to be stuck in your own head and because of that he knows just what you need to hear right then. No one ever affirmed him, told him he was enough or that he wasn’t hard to love, but he’d be damned if no one ever told you what you needed to hear. This god would kill for you, die for you, raze cities in your name, so be damn sure he’d pull you out of your void when you need it the most.

He knows words can cut deeper than any knife, he’s an expert at crafting words to kill, but he also knows when to weave them to be soft and comforting. He never lies when he comforts you. Every time he says he loves you, that you’re worthy of love and affection and kindness and space, he’s telling the whole truth and nothing buttt the truth because he doesn’t need to lie. Everything he says is true and even though it’s hard for you to accept, even though you’ll deny it, he’ll still repeat himself until you believe him or until you decide that maybe you aren’t as bad as the voices say you are.

Seeing you hurt, hurts him and he knows you’d hate to hurt him. Now hear me out. Loki is the god of mischief and a master manipulator, so i think it’s quite possible that he’d manipulate you into not hating yourself as much. “My dear, you break my heart, why would you think that about yourself?🥺” he knows you’d immediately rush to comfort him, and in doing so would forget your pain. It isn’t healthy and 4 out of five dentists don’t recommend it but when he gets desperate he reverts back to him gaslight,gatekeep, girlboss ways.

Of course he knows that that could backfire. It could end up with you hating yourself even more, but he knows when to and not to use that particular method. But if he ever miscalculated the severity of your situation and he ended up hurting you instead ? He’d never ever forgive himself

He writes you long letters detailing how and why he loves you. He writes you essays about all the things that are good about you, about how he sees you and while they may not completely dispel the darkness, they act as a guiding light to help you navigate it.

The first time you told him how you felt about yourself, Loki cried. He, honest to Odin, cried. He hugged you tightly and rocked you as tears ran down his face and his icy blood boiled with rage towards whoever put those lies in your head, and trust me, he knows a lie when he hears one, he’s literally their god!

He just can’t understand how someone as sweet,kind, loving and understanding as you could ever see yourself as anything but those things.

Every time he sees you silently punish yourself over a mistake or perceived failure, he walks over to you and holds your hand before affirming you and taking you to distract yourself, or vent, whichever you need in that moment.

When he heard you say that the way you hurt yourself isn’t ‘really’ self harm, he nearly slapped you. Because of course it is! Just because the way you harm yourself doesn’t leave behind physical scars, doesn’t mean it isn’t real! Your pain, your anguish, your sorrow and despair, they’re as real as blood, bone and the pulse within your veins. Your pain is real, no matter what the world says and he’d kill anyone who disagreed with him.(besides you of course)

Loki Odinson of all people knows that the way to combat despair isn’t senseless positivity, it’s space, understanding and affirmation. And he’ll be there for you, to pick you up when you’re down, no matter the century or lifetime. He’ll always be here for you no matter what and he just hopes that when you need him, you’ll let him help you.He loves you so much it hurts and if he can take your pain away forever, he’d do it in an instant. Because you matter, your pain matters and your feelings matter. No matter how small they may be in comparison to someone else’s. Every part of you matters, even the parts invisible to the outside world.

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 @𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 ; 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲,𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[millie-multifics]

Parallel Lines (1)

Dr. Robby x Nurse!OC

Navigating divorce is hard, made more difficult by the relationships Kate built with her step-children. Robby understands her situation in a unique way and helps comfort her when one of her kids ends up becoming his patient.

Warnings: Mentions of drowning and injury, divorce, a little bit of angst, a yearning Robby with Pitt Fest Trauma, OC has step-children.

Word Count: ~1.8k

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Inspired by this thought | Next

x x x

Though quite new to Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Centre, Kate had learned quickly that there was never a dull moment. She found herself fitting well on the dayshift; quickly falling into natural motions with the charge nurse, Dana and Chief Attending, Dr. Rabinovitch.

Kate’s switch to PTMC- or as the Emergency Department lovingly referred to as “The Pitt”, was accompanied by back-to-back life changes. Her family had moved from California, finding their way into a quiet Pittsburgh suburb. Eight months later she found herself moving from the family home to a two-bedroom walkup deeper in the city, fresh ink on divorce papers heavy in tow.

She had grown accustomed during her eight years of marriage to waking before the sun, readying herself before coaxing the kids out of bed with the promise of a delicious breakfast to start their day. Now that her apartment was empty and quiet, she still rose before the sun, spending extra long under the heat of the shower and grabbing a half-charred piece of toast on her way out the door.

The apartment was close to the hospital, so she always walked, even when the clouds opened over the city to release a downpour that surely put a damper on Saturday plans.

It had become routine to stop at the Café between her building and the hospital for coffee. She had unexpectedly gained a morning coffee buddy a few weeks prior, having quite literally bumped into Dr. Robby as he exited the very same Café on a particularly tired morning.

Kate glanced at the clock centered on the chalk written menu board; he was already running late so she went ahead and added his coffee to her. A simple black coffee, two sugars. He had confessed it was an order he had grown accustomed to when he was a smoker, needing the sweet to battle the burnt bitterness the Tabacco and nicotine left lingering in his mouth- he had quit some months ago but not without great difficulty.

She waited outside with the two paper cups. Umbrella tucked in her elbow to block out the moisture as she patiently waited. She spotted him first, the familiar navy hoodie hanging off his frame. His head was ducked to avoid the large, wet drops; it must have started to rain after he had already begun his journey as there was no umbrella in sight. She stepped forward to match his pace, the large paper cup slowed his steps as it came into his view. He glanced over at her with surprise, having not spotted her on approach. He accepted the coffee as he removed his air pods, ducking under the dry sanctuary of the umbrella as she lifted it to accompany his extra height.

“Morning, Dr. Robby.”

“Good morning, Katherine.” He sipped the warm beverage, sighing as his body accepted its first taste of caffeine of the day. “Coffee is on me next time.”

She brushed it off with a small knowing laugh; he was never early enough to beat her to the coffee counter. “Shall we?”

He nodded, stuffing his free hand in his pocket to keep it from naturally finding the small of her back to keep her close while they walked. They stepped between two parked cars, silently waiting as traffic thinned enough for them to cross the street to the hospital.

Dana was observant, she also how to be discreet when it was needed. She had noticed on the fourth occurrence of Kate and Robby arriving together, same coffee cups with distinct orange markings. They would part ways to visit their lockers and proceed with the day as if they were merely colleagues, but Dana had picked up on underlying tones, ones which Princess and Perlah had yet to notice. Dana knew the pair had two options; they could leave it unacknowledged, the ease they felt in each other’s presence that led to soft looks and subtle jokes, or they could face the unknown and just go for it.

The charge nurse knew Robby well, they had worked together for a very long time, and she had seen the various periods of struggle in his life. The breakdown of his relationship with Janey, the internal struggle with his initial feelings for a younger aspiring Dr. Collins, the choices that had to be made surrounding Adamson’s death, and in the months since Pitt Fest, the loss of Leah and growing distance of Jake. The man simply needed something good in his life, not that it would fix everything but maybe give him the motivation to face it.

Kate was quiet but she was experienced and good at her job. Dana could sense a lingering sadness surrounding the breakdown of her marriage. She had once opened up to her new friend about the circumstances surrounding the successful lawyer she had married; the two wonderful stepchildren she had the privilege of helping raise - how it had all come crashing down faster than she could breathe. But the world kept turning slow and steady.

It was around midday when Kate felt like the world had halted, flipped on its axis and spun out of control while her body froze, unable to step into Trauma One of the Emergency Department.

“Got an incoming, teen drowning victim with a head lac. ETA 4 minutes.”

Kate had been returning from her locker when Dana made the announcement, the five-minute break to devour a protein bar was much needed at this time in the day. Her chest tightened as she met Robby’s eyes, knowing their thoughts were shared. A child, a teen, the unimaginable to any parent.

“Hey, is this your phone? It’s been buzzing non-stop for the past few minutes.”

It was indeed her phone; she caught a glimpse of the contact photo before it flashed off the screen. She scooped it off the desk, panic brewing in her chest at the 15 missed calls all from the same number. She redialed, biting at her lips as she listened to the phone ring.

“Mom!” Pure panic replaced the usually small voice of the ten-year-old on the line.

“Charlie? What happened?” She tried to keep her voice level, clear of the panic gripping her chest as to not further alert the boy. Her hands shook and she had to brace herself against the tall counter as she waited for the inevitable.

“Grace.” The boy sobbed, “We went to the pool, and we were playing around, but she fell in and was bleeding.”

She angled the phone away from her mouth, reaching up to cover the microphone.

“My kids.” She breathed, choking back her own sob that threatened to escape. “Robby, those are my kids.”

Something flashed very briefly in Robby’s eyes, something akin to doubt; the reminder of Leah and the consequences of not being able to save her no matter how hard he had tried. The reminder of what he had lost before he steeled his emotions, stripping off his hoodie, replacing it with a gown and gloves as he followed nurses and residents into the ambulance bay.

The wail of sirens echoed through the phone and from outside, pulling her back into the moment. “I’ll be right there, baby.”

Her phone clattered to the floor as she attempted to put it into her scrub pocket, not bothering to retrieve it as her feet carried her into the bay.

The ambulance jolted to a stop, the door slammed open and the doctors rushed forward, vital information being shouted by the paramedics as the gurney rushed past.

Kate stood back, standing off to the side knowing her emotions were much too strong to do anything useful in the moment. There she was, her Gracie; hair wet with a mixture of chlorinated pool water and thick, sticky blood. Skin pale, lips borderline blue, pulse there but weak.

“Mom!” Charlie leaped from the back of the ambulance, arms circling Kate’s waist tightly as he cried into her hip.

Robby found her two hours later. She was sitting in the waiting room with her head in her hands- it was the only way she had been able to get them to stop shaking. He silently sat in the chair next to her, offering her a familiar paper cup containing her favorite latte. Robby had bribed an intern to go to the Café to retrieve her order; a latte with only a single pump of vanilla syrup.

“Charlie was supposed to be at home, but the sitter cancelled so Gracie took him to the pool with her.” Kate’s voice was rough. She had taken the opportunity of Charlie exploring with Mateo to let out her bottled emotions. “Gracie is a competitive swimmer, spends most of her time at the pool.”

“The paramedic’s said Charlie was the one who started CPR when the lifeguard froze.” Robby had been stunned when he first heard it. The lifeguard had lost composure when she had been pulled from the pool, not breathing and heavily bleeding. “You should be very proud.”

“I am.” She sipped the warm beverage to clear the thickness in her throat. “I am so proud of both of those kids. It hurts not seeing them every day. I still go to her swim meets and his little league games, they stay over sometimes but it just feels like someone ripped the biggest part of my heart out of my chest all the time.”

Robby gently grasped her hand from where it was gripping the plastic arm of the chair, wanting to offer her comfort in a situation he was all too familiar with. He had experienced it with Jake; adaptions in life and schedule made to accompany family time, sitting at the dinner table to help battle through math homework or just the simplicity of knowing they were safety across the hall asleep at night. Having a child brighten your life, only for it to all fall apart one day with no official claim to cling onto, that connection grown in your heart left in purgatory.

“Katie.”

The voice had her pulling her hand from Robby’s larger, warm one as if his touch burned. She stood from the chair, careful not to spill her coffee as she flung her arms around the well-suited man approaching.

“Eric.”

It was her sigh of relief as she said his name that made Robby stand, his gaze lingering at their soft touches before he wandered back to the Emergency Department. For weeks he had thought that they had the potential to be more, attempting to push away his cynical thoughts that he was not worthy of love and companionship, but now he had seen maybe that voice of doubt had been right. She was freshly divorced, the love and care palpable between the two embracing forms in the hospital hallway.

[ms-demeanor]

That level of confidence on rejecting anything beyond what a MD will tell you (and not even a DO apparently?) has reached peak stupid I see. Probiotics work. Saccharomyces boulardii straight up saves lives. Come the fuck on.

I haven't criticized DOs, DOs are fully qualified physicians. For those not aware: In the US a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine (DO) has the same qualifications as an MD; if you want a doctor who does more holistic care but is a real-ass doctor, look for a DO.

DC, doctor of chiropractic, is the degree that you get from the ITT Tech of medical schools to lie to people and call yourself a doctor.

Saccharomyces boulardii is one of the probiotics included in the recommendations of the AGA as conditionally recommended in spite of low quality of evidence.

Saying "probiotics are largely woo" and including a link to A) guidelines that recommend evidence-based use of probiotics and B) a commentary on those guidelines lamenting that the lax regulation of the supplement industry has made it excessively difficult to study potentially helpful interventions is not the same thing as saying "probiotics don't work."

I know it can be hard to see but on tumblr when there's a little line under some words that means the words are a link; you can place your cursor over that link and single-click to go to a different page of the internet that might include more words you can read are a much longer and more comprehensive explanation of the words that you initially clicked on.

There's no conclusive evidence that regular supplementation of probiotics improves digestive issues in healthy people and taking probiotics regularly if you are not at risk for c. diff likely means that you're just shitting money down the drain.

Aspirin saves lives too, but that doesn't mean that literally everyone should take it daily for its life-saving benefits.

I became *absolutely ironclad* in my support for evidence based medicine over medical woo after my chronic illness diagnosis and while trying to figure out how to not feel sick all the time. Getting diagnosed with celiac in 2012 meant getting inundated with books like Wheat Belly and links to Joseph Mercola and advice to take probiotics and to stop eating the yoga mat chemical. Navigating a chronic illness and *massive dietary changes* on an internet awash with medical woo was a nightmare, and you're making the exact same kind of argument that I stumbled across on a ton of forums where parents were trying to treat their kids' symptoms, or where people were searching for help with their own pain and struggles and were getting *bad fucking answers* about probiotics and essential aminos and diatomaceous earth.

Probiotics "work" to help some people in extremely specific situations, but, like most supplementation, they are absolutely unnecessary for the vast majority of people and unless you know that you have a specific condition that will be improved by taking them, you're mostly spending a lot of money to swallow a lot of things and shit them out. If you have a gut disorder, probiotics will not make your gut disorder better. If you have diarrhea as a result of food borne illness, probiotics will not get your poop back to normal. If you are constipated, probiotics will not soften your stools or make you more regular. If you are at risk of c. diff from a course of antibiotics and you are NOT immune compromised, probiotics may potentially reduce your risk of c. diff infection and you should talk to a doctor who is treating you for that specific situation about whether or not probiotics might be helpful in the short term while your gut microbiome recovers from the antibiotics.

[admirationandromantics]

Stormy Confession

Another request! Don't worry, I do have several more in my inbox, but please be patient, they will come eventually! Anyways, hope you enjoy this. As usual, it's not edited, but who cares?

Word count: 1,9k (Unedited)

They’re BEST friends with benefits, so there is already an established chemistry between them. They’re stuck in a snow storm anddd “im totally kidding but im kind of freezing rn and my heater’s busted” so they decided to hook up in josh’s very roomy car, only to realize “hey ik im being dramatic but we COULD die rn so i need to confess that im in love with you…” lmao my writing is so jumbled but i know you could do wonders with this idea!🥹🥹

The wind is getting worse, almost like it’ll tip the car over. Josh is sitting beside me, driving the car, all tensed up by the stress of it. Usually, I would comment on it, but I understand the gravity of the situation. We just need to keep going, we don’t have that far left. 

The trees outside are dark. Gentle snow taking its place on the pine needles. If it weren’t for the storm, I would love it. Luckily, it’s clear enough that we can still see the road, but I wonder how long that’s going to last. 

I check the weather update, but it’ll not clear up until the middle of the night. If we were to stay in the car until then, we would have to climb the mountain in the dark. This is not something I want to do, but I guess at this point, it’s a must. We just have to stay clear of wild animals, navigate in the dark, try not to slip down the path again. 

We were planning to get to Blackwood Mountain and the Washington lodge. Of course, we went a day earlier than the others, planning on cleaning and getting the place ready. What none of us idiots thought about doing, was to check the weather. About halfway there, the snow got worse. It came in quick patches, making driving hard, and freezing up the car. 

“Josh, it’s literally freezing in here, can you turn on the heater?” 

“It’s busted, was gonna get it fixed after the trip” 

“Of course you were” 

I lean back in my seat, pulling up my backpack and taking out my gloves. At least some part of me would stay warm. As we drive on a long straight row, he leans back and manoeuvres the car with his knee, bringing both hands up to his face to blow hot air into them. Poor guy. I remember that he brought some extra outerwear, just wondering where he left them. My thoughts fly to his bag, he couldn’t have placed them in the front, so back it was. I lean over the mid row and back, trying to find his bag in the back seats. 

“Where’s your backpack?” I ask, rummaging through a bunch of stuff. A blanket, some firewood, a plastic bag. Why is there so much stuff here? We don’t need all of it, and I know for a fact that the lodge has large stacks of firewood. 

“Keep looking” he laughs, not bothering to help me. 

“Josh, just tell me where you put it” 

He laughs, one hand going on the back of my thigh, slightly squeezing my flesh. That’s why he’s being difficult. He just wants to tease me. 

“Stop being a perv and tell me” I sigh, not exactly being a fan of my position. He should be busy driving, not checking me out. 

“But I’m enjoying the view” 

“The only view you should be enjoying is the road in front of you” 

I finally notice it, a small backpack with a scarf and gloves sticking out from under the seat. I lean a bit more forward to reach it, earning a whistle from the guy. I roll my eyes, grabbing the clothing and trying to move back. I get halfway before he speaks. 

“Hard swing” 

“Wha-”

The car takes a rough turn, making my body jolt to the side. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Can’t this man drive a little more carefully? If this unplanned storm doesn’t kill us, then he definitely will. I fall to the side, hips landing in his lap, faces against each other. He has that known playful smirk on his lips, proud of his dangerous accomplishment. 

“You good?” 

“You’re insane” 

“Nah, just a good driver” he shrugs his shoulders, trying not to laugh at himself. 

“You’re not a good driver” 

His arms move over me, holding onto the steering wheel in front of him. His eyes finally move to the road, and he keeps driving as if everything’s normal. I try to sit up, but his hands won’t budge, leading to me falling down again. 

“Josh, if you would be so kind” I force a tight smile, nodding to the caging arms. He looks down, the playful smirk still covering his lips as he thinks. 

“Do you have my gloves?” 

“Indeed I do” 

“Put them on me” 

I look at him in disbelief, what was he, a child? He can easily do that himself. I shake my head, laughing a little at the situation. No way am I going to do that. He has one hand on the wheel, the other held out to me. I roll my eyes, deciding that this is enough. 

I try to get up yet again, but this time, his empty hand finds my chest and pushes me down into him. I give a loud and dramatic sigh, which makes him fully reveal that stupid laughter of his that he’s kept in. 

“You know I could sue you for this?” 

“I can sue you too, disrupting the driver” 

“You made this happen” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” 

I give in, laying against him and relaxing while he drives. No way am I going to be his servant. He’s not that rich. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, both just minding our own thing. 

Just now, I realise how much warmer I feel while brushing against him. Body heats colliding as he holds me close. A cozy and sleepy murmur comes over me, and I close my eyes, drifting away as we continue driving off. 

***

I press my eyes forcefully together, opening them little by little. The outside is darker than before, and Josh’s still driving into the night, eyes focused on the road. I stretch, giving a yawn at the same time. He shifts his gaze, a smile immediately finding his lips. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t Ms. Sleepy” 

“How long have I been gone?” 

“Around half an hour” 

I nod in reply, head turning to the dark forest and snowy rocks. We were almost there now. 

“And no death yet, I’m impressed” I comment, sitting up as high as he allows me. 

“Wind almost took the car about 10 minutes ago” 

My eyes widen in surprise. Is the weather really that bad? Shouldn’t we stop and wait for it to pass? The thought of it scares me, after all, the mountains this time of year are not that safe as everyone makes them out to be. I mean, if we’re in the lodge, it’s okay. But we’re not. We’re in a moving vehicle, which almost got flipped by the wind. 

“Hey, don’t worry. We’re almost there” 

I nod again. The parking lot is a bit more secluded than the road, so the wind won’t be as strong. But how’re we getting up to the lodge? The cable car is already a death trap, no way I’m going to sit in it during the storm. 

A road hole makes me yelp, body jolting up and down. I automatically grab hold of his arm, steadying myself. His lips thins as he bites them, eyes forced on the road. His breathing changes, big stuttering inhales as if to calm himself down. 

“Josh, are you okay?” 

He doesn’t look down on me, instead his vision is on the path ahead. His knuckles are white from gripping the wheel, and I glimpse a vein popping and going under his jacket. What’s going on with this guy? 

We finally swing into the parking lot, and he parks the car and turns off the engine. We sit in silence, both unsure about our next move. With his arms not in the way, I finally sit up. I grab his shoulder for help, and he takes his arm to my back for support. 

“I don’t think we should go to the lodge yet” he comments, looking out to the cable car station. 

“I know, we’d probably be blown to bits” 

“That’s one way of putting it” 

His other hand goes to my waist, pressing me down on him. That’s when I feel it. He’s hard, very hard. He’s been since the road hole. 

“Are you struggling a bit, Josh?” a smile creeping up on my lips. Oh, how pleasant to finally have some of the power. 

His hand goes to my hair, brushing it away. 

“Oh, you have no idea” 

His head moves closer, fingers gliding over my cheek. He’s cold, extremely cold. It’s like gracing ice taps against my skin. I pull away, taking his hands in mine and warming them.

“You’re freezing” 

“Better do something about it then” 

He moves into me, capturing my lips in his. I respond, opening my mouth a little and licking his lower lip. I don’t forget about his hands though, and carefully puts his gloves on them as we keep going. I change positions, and he helps me, letting me straddle him in the driver's seat. His hands go to my ass, kneading and caressing. I moan into the kiss, which he uses as an opportunity to stick his tongue in my mouth. He fiddles with something behind me, and before I know it, ice-cold fingers make their way down my pants, holding my cheeks. I gasp, the shocked feeling being overcome. This was extreme, why hadn’t he said something about it before. He chuckles against my lips, mouth moving to my jaw and neck, leaving sweet kisses all over. The wet spots get instantly cold when he moves away, and I shutter. 

“W-we should not do this here” 

“I know, I know” 

“We’re going to freeze to death” 

“A bit dramatic are we?” 

“J-Josh” he stops in his tracks, lips glossy and eyes lustful. We both know that we can’t start undressing. With the heater not working, and the snow storm getting worse, that’s the last thing we should be thinking about. God, how dizzy the whole situation makes me feel. I don’t want to be down here. I want to be up in the lodge, alone with him, in front of the fire. 

“Or get eaten by wolves” 

“No we’re not”

“What if an elk attack the car?” 

“We’re not a threat to them” 

“If we’re going to die, I need to confess something” 

“We’re not going to die”

“Five more minutes and your fingers would snap off as easily as bending a carrot” 

“True, but-” 

“Josh…” I put my glove-covered finger over his mouth, stopping his sweet remarks. If there was a time to say it, it had to be now, before we both froze to death, in his car, to be found tomorrow morning by the others. 

“I love you. And I know, we’ve had this whole deal or something where we’ve had sex, and yeah I mean several times, but that’s not the point because I couldn’t stop myself, and please don’t stop seeing me as a friend after this, I promise I’ll get over it, but it’s just something I need to get off my chest or else I can die and not-” 

He shuts me up with a kiss. Hands still on my ass, pressing me deeper against him. 

“Fucking hell, you talk a lot” 

“You already know that about me” 

“Just shut up and kiss me”

[qvrcll]

the little things they do — luffy, zoro, nami, usopp & sanji.

summary: what do they do that makes you tick? that makes your heart glide through your chest and fester at your throat? that makes you glissade through hell itself, for the pleasure that it brings?

warnings: slight tension but no nsfw, fluff, nothing too bad!

notes: i started binge watching op / opla recently and decided to give i a go at writing for them! literally could not stop my fingers from typing this out. i’m a little new to op, so i hope you enjoy nonetheless :-] i promise im working on another part of college melodrama! i just wanted to try something new to get the brain juices flowing <3

sanji — moves you by your waist

sanji is keen with his women, but with you, he’s even more so. he’s gentle with it, even if he doesn’t need to be, because you make him aberrantly nervous, yet vilely confident in his etiquette — and today just cements it. it’s a boring day, and that prompts you to keep yourself stationed in the kitchen, where the rest of the straw hats find their own circles to situate themselves in (pure boredom, much to sanji’s dismay). the space is overcrowding and you’re halfway into disputing something that luffy insists is true fact, when sanji’s mellow palms come to gripe gently, carefully, at your waist — “excuse me, beautiful,” he mouths, fiendish and close to tasting his teeth in a marvellous grin as he effortlessly moves you, gingerly in so many ways, so he can reach the cabinet. you stutter out some convoluted version of a yes, o-of course! … safe to say, you can barely pay much consideration to luffy’s rebuttal as the tepedity of the cook’s hands lay in repetitive, illusive strokes against your hips for more times than one to just consider it an act to retrieve spices from a cabinet.

zoro — has one hand in your back pocket

he’s silent, mischievous with his antics. the upper part of your brain warns you of his skepticism, his cruelly hard body, his thick cheek. but your heart buds violently under what you can only assume is his effect. and it’s only furthered, when you are too close to him for comfort in this mini-party the crew has going on atop the going merry. you spot him nodding off in the corner of your eye, barely even knowing of his current footing in his chair as he slumps off. you urge him to go to bed, to ditch the drinks and gain a full night’s rest. but he shakes his head stiffly, his rather large hand slinking into the back pocket of your pants, where it lays dormant and so, so close to squeezing. “stay. this way, i won’t lose you.” you fail to yelp, because every nerve has been short-wired. twisted. re-twisted. re-wired. you can only stand close, fluxing against the warmth of his palm in your back pocket, as the faintest of reds colour his cheeks. a smile is welcome.

luffy — hugs your waist

being a captain is luffy’s share of the burden that comes with his quest of finding the one piece. he swears its easier than he allows it, but his body is different on days like these. days when he’s laying, tired and inaccessible to his usual bouts of energy. days like these, you can’t navigate around his lethargy, that comes slow and unmoving, similar to his resolve. his arms are around you, tight and interlocking further like a snake, his face buried against your stomach as he uses you as a stationary pillow. and you try to remind him that there are things you need to resume, things you need to conduct on the going merry, but when you turn to move, excuse yourself, he tightens, and his nose brushes against the sensitive skin beneath your button up in a nimble attempt to get you to stay still. “mmm… five—no, ten more minutes… i promise.”

nami — rests her head in the crook of your neck

it’s not an easy job sorting the day’s itinerary into tidy, little boxes and shelves, whilst the boat rocks to a cathartic beat around you. nami is here, to help you, but you are unable to shake off the tension wearing you down. your skin feels like paper and the bottom side of your shoes are sticky with sea water and your hands feel like rubber. you could rival luffy. it makes you feel awful, gets you hot and antsy so quickly, that nami blinks twice. of course, you apologise. you always have. but nami gets the directive before you do, and she reaches forward to hug you close to her chest. her nose tickles your neck and the space is living with her breath — the crook of your neck. “how about we stay like this for a bit, hm?” it’s more for your own means to find ground amongst your frustrations, to help you calm down, but nami has always loved being close to you. she always has.

usopp — holds you close to protect you

the great captain usopp. mighty warrior of the sea. well, not the great when the sea is colliding into rows of wood at maximum speed, which rocks the entire great vessel. you try to be less of a deterrence, try to find your own standing in the room you’re in with usopp, but your body is thrown across the room in one fell swoop, where you meet halfway into usopp’s chest. there’s a messy string of syllables that leave your lips, a creaky apology as you try to maintain some space between you (for the sake of your enervated heart), but he’s quicker. an ability derived from his sharp-shooter skills, you’re sure. his arm wraps around your waist and he allows you to crowd his chest. allows you to hold him like a pillar against the raging sea when it sends a rather alarming rock to the ship. “hold on tight — you’ve got nothing to worry about with captain usopp here. you hear?”

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

[obxsummer]

mess // ghost of you

pairing: jj maybank x routledge!reader

summary: groff gets grounded, sarah's wifey material, and a statue apparently holds the blue crown, which means someone's climbing to get it.

warnings: usual obx angst

navigation -- series masterlist

ask me anything

--

Morocco was proving to stay a challenge to you all, especially when the vehicle’s motor blew up on Cleo and the poor girl was stuck attempting to fix it. In the meantime, Pope was observing the items John B and Sarah had managed to pull from Terrance’s boat in their quick mission. 

While JJ attempted to help Cleo get the truck started again, John B and Sarah were browsing at nearby booths. This left you and Kie to take the time to chill out and just observe the people around you. 

What your fiancé had begrudgingly revealed to you, was he pickpocketed the gun the mercenary had dropped and it was now tucked in his waistband, clearly visible against the light colored fabric. You had rolled your eyes, but didn’t bother to argue with him. You were all unarmed, in his defense, so it wouldn’t hurt to have some way to fight back.

“John B, I’m tired of driving. Take the wheel.” Cleo waved dismissively as she climbed into a seat next to Sarah, allowing your brother and Pope to take the front.. 

The next location, Agapenta, was supposedly where you’d find some answers. The drive would take a while, a lovely 60 miles of hopefully peace and quiet. JJ happily accepted the empty time, letting you rest against his shoulder as the wind whipped around you all. The ride was as smooth as John B could make it, the road proving itself bumpty and full of twists and turns. 

Eventually, pavement turned into dirt and Pope was pointing out a nearby well to refill water bottles and take a break to stretch. You groaned as the vehicle came to a stop and climbed out, your legs sore from sitting so scrunched together for the time being. 

“Pope, I really hope you’re right about this well,” John B said as he rolled his neck, a popping sound following the movement and he sighed. 

JJ reached up to help you climb down, the dirt hard and dry beneath your feet. You opened your backpack, shuffling through the mess to grab the empty water bottles you’d brought from Poguelandia to pair with the larger ones they’d bought at the market. 

“How does this thing even work?” You asked Pope as you walked toward the well with the various bottles in your arms. “Like is there a pump or-”

“Hello!”

Pope grabbed your arm to pull you back from approaching the stones. The shouting continued in a language you couldn’t quite recognize before you all decided to look down the well at the same time. 

“I guess we found Groff, huh?”

Bile burned your throat as you took a step back from the dark pit in the ground. JJ was standing a few feet away with a tan back in his hands, the contents inside likely belonging to the man stuck at the bottom of the well.

You wondered how he didn’t die from the fall, silently pissed that outside forces couldn’t have just ended this nightmare on your behalf. Because now, there was a decision to make that ultimately landed in JJ’s hands.

JJ gently squeezed your shoulder as he approached the well, a silent communication that he could do it. He looked utterly pissed and disappointed with the realization that he was really the only one to handle the situation, but leaned over the edge to address Groff.

“JJ, is that you?” The voice echoed back.

JJ sighed and looked straight ahead, completely dismissing the man in the well. “What happened?”

“I’m trapped down here because of that… Rafe.”

You snorted, pressing the back of your hand against your mouth to keep your laughter in as Sarah nearly broke her character next to you with a laugh. Leave it to Rafe to shove Groff in a literal well. 

“But now, my boy, my beautiful boy, is here to rescue me.”

That one got a full giggle out of Kiara, and JJ looked at all of you with an unamused look. Annoyance was winning its course here, and really, now you wanted to leave.

“What happened to the scroll?” JJ asked as he played with the flask of water in his hands. 

“Rafe! He took it and he tried to kill me, but I know where it is. I know how to get it back. We’ll go. We’ll go together, just… just throw me the rope!”

The blond boy stepped back from the view of the well, which evidently scared Groff enough that he started yelling again. You stepped away from Sarah and Kie to grab his arm, scanning his face for any hint of how he was feeling.

“You okay?”

To your surprise, JJ’s eyes were full of tears when he looked back at you and he looked angry. “He almost killed you. And now he’s sitting here asking me to help him?” 

The broken whisper felt like a punch to the chest and your fingers unconsciously brushed over where the bruises rested on your skin. You’d support JJ through a lot of rights and wrongs, but this had to be the hardest one. 

You’d come to hate very few people in your life, but Groff was the quickest one to reach that status. He was cruel. There were very few people that were wicked in that way, deep to their core, but he was a perfect example of one. Heartless, even.

JJ sighed, drying away stray tears with the back of his hand. You let your hand coast up his arm to rest on his neck, gently brushing the skin of his cheek with your thumb. “It’s okay. It’s your call.”

He shook his head harshly and stepped out of your grasp to approach the well again as Groff yelled out for him to toss the rope down. JJ picked up the twine with consideration and your heart felt like it was in your throat. 

“JJ, I need you to throw me the rope!”

“Why?” JJ countered as he stared at the object intently. “Why should I do that when you tried to kill not only me, but someone you knew meant the world to me? To us.”

There was a pause before the answer. “I snapped. Sorry.”

John B let out a loud laugh at that one, his head falling back against the seat of the truck before his hand rubbed at his face in disbelief.

“Just get me out of here, JJ, and we will get the crown. Together, just like we planned.”

“You gave me away. You gave me away because you don’t want me. You don’t want a son. Now you come back into my life acting like you had to do that.” 

“No of course not. You’re my boy, I love you.”

JJ reached back with an open palm and you took it wordlessly, making sure to stay out of Groff’s view but close enough that JJ knew you were right behind him. “No.. don’t, don’t say that. You don’t know what that means. You don’t even know me. You never were my father. You never even tried.”

“I’m a weak man, JJ. You wouldn’t kill me for that, would you? That’s not you. You’re better than me.”

JJ scoffed and shook his head before holding the rope out to you, which you took albeit confused. You watched as he untied it from the post next to the well, leaving it disconnected from any anchor point. “Being better than you really isn’t that hard. Bye, Dad.”

Without sparing a glance, JJ took a step back from the well to walk away and you stood there as Groff started yelling in protest for him to come back. You glanced back to make sure he was okay, Pope taking the time to hug him tightly, before you made your own decision.

Peeking over the edge of the well, you could barely make out Groff’s figure at the bottom and his voice was suddenly much louder until he stopped at the sight of you.

“Remember me? Daughter you never had but always wanted?” You asked, a teasing smirk making its way to your lips. Pulling the rope closer, you let it fall from your fingers and watched the saving grace hit the ground with a loud smack as Groff winced. 

With a look of disappointment, you sighed to yourself, “You made your bed, now you can lie in it too.”

--

“Careful, we don’t know what we’re walking into.” John B was tense and on guard as he led the group from the car when the path came to an end. Desert stretched out in front of you all, save for a few bare plants that shifted with the wind.

As you all approached the walled entrance to Agapenta, Rafe’s voice carried across the open land. 

“Okay, just take it easy, okay?” The stress in his tone was obvious enough that JJ was pushing against your shoulder to keep you out of view as they surveyed whatever was going on ahead. 

Peeking through the brush, you made out Rafe’s figure with the map dangling from one hand and the lens from the other. His back was toward you all as he spoke with whoever was threatening him as he held his arms in the air. There was just enough room over the makeshift wall that you could make out the mercenary group with their vehicles and weapons.

“They’re gonna kill him,” Cleo mumbled as a few armed mercenaries started approaching Rafe.

Kie scoffed, “Do we care?”

“Yeah, that’s a good question, Pope. Then they’d take the scroll.”

You glanced over at Sarah, the girl obviously torn between the words being said and the fact that Rafe was her brother. He was trying, she could tell, and at this point, that meant enough to her. 

“There are seven of them, they all have rifles.”

JJ’s hand fell from your shoulders. “I know. That’s why we’re gonna need to think outside the box.”

He moved to grab the gun from his waist, checking the bullets in the chamber before loading it. You swallowed thickly, knowing anything that involved JJ and a weapon didn’t tend to go well. 

“Hey.” You grabbed his arm to hold him still for a moment. “This isn’t Call of Duty, okay? We can’t rush into action right now without thinking this through a little.”

Sarah had evidently thought it through enough and grabbed the gun from JJ’s hand to steady in her own grip, the group falling silent as she did so. “That’s my brother.”

The shot rang out, perfectly nailing the fuel tank on one of the mercenary vehicles to cause an explosion. You stared, amazed, before looking at the girl next to you. “Sarah gets the gun from here on out.”

Rafe took off running as more gunshots started to follow and you decided it was probably a good idea to get away from here. Dust kicked up around everyone as you ran, shouts to go faster or change direction coming like rapid fire. 

The sunshine was so warm against your skin and dust coated your throat as you all came up upon the gates with barely enough time to slip through before Pope and JJ slammed the door shut just in time for gunshots to bust through the wood.

“We gotta move,” Kie called out as the boys barricaded the door as best as possible. Somewhere in the chaos, Rafe had managed to land here as well and brought up the rear as the group went running again. 

“Oh shit!” You yelped as a group of sheep were suddenly in the path. They were just as freaked out as you and took off running, giving you enough time to take a deep breath before JJ was grabbing your arm and pulling you to keep moving. 

An almost stumble in his step told you his side was getting irritated from the constant movement and you shifted to push him ahead of you, your hand pressed into his back to keep him going. You came up on a tunnel, Pope and Cleo coming to a stop as the yelling got closer to your location. 

“What are you doing?” JJ slowed to look at the couple, the gun now in Cleo’s hands as John B, Sarah, Kie, and Rafe kept moving.

“We got it, we’ll hold them off,” Pope explained, his hand falling on your back to continue moving you and JJ along. JJ hesitated, hating the idea of splitting up but Pope had already made up his mind. “Hey, let me protect you for once, okay? You’re not the only one who shot teddy bears.”

Cleo gave you a stern look and nudged you in the direction. You gave her an uncertain smile, squeezing her arm in encouragement before you grabbed JJ’s hand in yours and pulled him with you. “Be safe!”

“We’ll be so safe!” Pope called back as they disappeared from view. 

Your chest was heaving, sweat pouring across your skin as the tunnels and stairs weaved their way through the town. Before long, you guys managed to catch up to the others where Rafe so lovingly had John B at knifepoint. 

“What the hell is going on?” You gasped, your hand pressing against your chest where it hurt to breathe as Kiara put her focus on JJ’s now bleeding side. You slid your backpack off, handing it to her wordlessly as she began to sort through the first aid supplied lying within. 

“Rafe, I just saved your life!”

The elder Cameron sibling turned toward her, the knife following as he disagreed. “No, no, no, no, no. You did it so you could steal it from me. There was something in it for you. Not to actually help me, I know that.”

“Rafe, we don’t have time.”

“We can read that, you can’t,” Sarah argued back, completely unphased by the way he was shaking in front of her.

“Why would I help you? I don’t trust you. I don’t trust any of you, do you understand?” He panted, scanning the room where you all had him basically surrounded. He focused back on Sarah, taking a step closer. “Dad trusted you. You remember what happened to him? Remember?!”

You flinched as he yelled, taking a step back in shock as Sarah pushed Rafe away from her. 

“Dad died saving my life,” She shouted before taking a second to breathe. “And you’re so eager to blame me for everything, you won’t even listen to what happened. Singh’s men had me at gunpoint. I was gonna die. Dad took those bullets for me. And if he was still around, he’d want us to work together. I know you know that.”

Rafe’s angry exterior was dropping with each word and as Sarah’s face crumbled with the recount, he was slowly beginning to think he had it all wrong. Shaking his head, his defensive stance disappeared. “No, you’re just going to screw me like everyone else in my life. I know you will.”

“No, no, because I’m all you’ve got,” Sarah reminded him, her voice thick with tears. “And you’re the only family I have left.”

The two siblings stared at each other for a moment, shaking breaths coming from each of them as they spoke through the things that had been left unsaid for almost two years now. You’d never seen Rafe like this, so broken and confused by what he was hearing. 

For so long, Ward had such a deathly grip on Sarah and Rafe both. Rafe had received the brunt of the pressure, as the eldest child and male of the family, Ward used him instead of growing him in a way that a parent should. 

“Alright, if we…uh, if we work together, I still get my cut. So-”

Sarah pushed the scroll aside and fell into her brother’s chest with a sob, her hands wrapping around him tightly. Rafe’s eyes filled with tears at the action, his own arms hesitating before holding her back as the two of them cried together.

Yelling nearby broke apart the peaceful moment, just as Kiara finished rewrapping JJ’s side with fresh bandages after cleaning the skin. She zipped your backpack before returning it, her eyes glancing to where the yelling is coming from. “I hate to break this up, but we need to go.”

John B was quick to get Sarah back to his side, taking her hand protectively as the group shifted out of the room to keep moving. You stayed back with JJ, moving just a bit slower to keep his side from reopening and letting the others gain some lead on you.

“You okay?” You asked as he winced and pressed his hand where the wound was. 

He nodded, letting out a breath. “Just moving a lot. I don’t think fighting the waves was the best idea for it, yeah?”

You shook your head at him, eyes glancing over before you caught sight of a large, dark storm cloud on the horizon. “J? What’s that?”

He looked up and followed your gaze to where the impending issue lied. “Oh fuck. We gotta go.”

Not asking any further questions, you continued up the hill with him until you caught sight of John B, Sarah, Kie, and Rafe. Your brother was holding the map up to the sky, a shaped figure coming back in the reflection of the paper that looked nearly identical to the statue that was up ahead. 

“Crown’s gotta be up there. Come on, let’s go.”

--

a/n: hi i'm so sorry this is short and took forever, just wanted to give a lil something before we get to the next scene

navigation -- series masterlist

ask me anything

[starrg1rl]

Random Astrology Notes !!

Ps im not a professional astrologer, I’ve just been in this community for 4 years and read A LOT about the topic.

Tw 18+

The moon represents our emotional and internal persona, how and why we react in certain situation when it comes to feelings, so speaking of sexuality it can say a lot about the mental role we take on during sex emotionally. For example Virgo, Cancer Moon best express themselves as Subs, or Aries, Capricorn moon as Doms. Relevant aspects can influence this (Moon-Pluto is screaming BDSM).

Gemini Risings have a very distinguished smile or laugh, when they’re laughing their mouth is wider showing more teeth, in particular canines. It could be more open because of a raised upper lip or a visible gum. Nevertheless they have a beautiful foxy smile.

My god the power that Moon conjunct Venus women hold. My best friend has this exactly in 8th degree Virgo and I can guarantee u in all the years I’ve known her almost every guy around fell for her. She’s so likable although she doesn’t even have an outgoing personality, her vibe just gives off pure femininity (mother 🙇‍♀️). Plus the Moon being her chart ruler, it really influences her character. This aspect indicates to be considered conventionally/generally beautiful in a feminine way.

Venus opposite Pluto 🖤 : This aspect brings intensity, power play, obsession in the planet Venus themes. First experiences of love and relationship feel like a f roller coaster controlled by a drunk maniac. When excitement is at its highest peak they’re completely infatuated, devoted and worship their partner. Love is a forever life or death deal for them. But if things start to go downhill it’s bad bad. First of all Venus-Pluto people are PRONE to toxicity and mental games. If not mature enough, they will not leave because it exalts them, masochism and self destructive tendencies are not uncommon with this aspect (not to mention the delusional and idolizing ones). Especially when they’re fond of someone it will be very hard to leave because they are deep down convinced that the unhealthy partner is still the right person. And once they leave it literally feels like a death (Pluto theme), if they don’t have any control of the situation the grief and hurt will make them miserable. This is a recipe for disaster therefore hate is all that’s left, and rarely this relationships will end in good terms. So to sum up, Venus opposite Pluto are extremely passion driven and intense people, that need to be more aware of their impulses and unhealthy patterns. The opposition could be harsh, indicating external conflicts and separation difficult to balance, but offers opportunities to personal development and transformation when navigated consciously. LOVE YALL (ex. Beabadoobee had a rough break up that end up with her ex getting with her friend)

[jellofish-plant]

Batfamily Relationship Headcanons (Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Catwoman)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman), Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Jason Todd (Red Hood), and Selina Kyle (Catwoman) x Reader (platonic and romantic interpretations available!)

Master List

Warnings:

Mentions of crime-fighting and Gotham’s usual dangers.

Light angst as characters navigate emotional walls.

Fluff and found-family vibes!

Summary: Navigating relationships with Gotham’s most iconic vigilantes and anti-heroes brings its challenges, but also moments of trust, love, and loyalty. Whether platonic or romantic, these headcanons explore what it’s like to have a unique bond with Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Selina.

Bruce Wayne (Batman)

Platonic:

Bruce may not say much, but he shows his care through actions. Expect quiet gestures like ensuring you’re safe or leaving a hot cup of tea when you’re up late.

He has an unspoken respect for your strength and skills, often involving you in plans when he knows you can handle it.

He’s surprisingly protective, especially if you’re not part of the Batfamily. If you get caught in danger, he’ll bring you to the Batcave until the situation is resolved.

Alfred will absolutely “adopt” you into the family if you’re close to Bruce.

Romantic:

Bruce is slow to open up romantically, but once he does, he’s deeply committed. His trust is hard-earned, making it all the more meaningful.

He’ll pull out all the stops for special occasions—think private dinners in Wayne Manor or moonlit walks through the city.

You’re one of the few people who can get him to relax. Late nights with just the two of you talking by the fireplace are his version of paradise.

He’s protective to the point of being overbearing sometimes, but it’s because he fears losing you.

Dick Grayson (Nightwing)

Platonic:

Dick is the ultimate “big brother” type, always looking out for you and making sure you’re okay.

He’s the first one to cheer you up if you’re down, often with a goofy joke or an impromptu dance-off.

If you’re on patrol together, he’s incredibly encouraging, always hyping you up for your accomplishments.

He’d be the one to drag you into karaoke night or convince you to join him for rooftop parkour.

Romantic:

Dick is a hopeless romantic and loves grand gestures—think handwritten notes, surprise dates, or flowers just because.

He’s touchy and affectionate, always finding excuses to hold your hand or drape an arm around your shoulders.

He’s an excellent communicator and will always talk things through with you, valuing openness and trust in the relationship.

Late-night patrols together often end with him pulling you into a spontaneous dance on a rooftop.

Jason Todd (Red Hood)

Platonic:

Jason has a tough exterior but is secretly a big softie for those he cares about. He’d never admit it, but he’d do anything for you.

He’s your go-to partner for snarky commentary and late-night drives through Gotham.

Jason is the kind of friend who’d show his care by bringing you your favorite snacks or fixing something you mentioned was broken.

If you’re in trouble, he’ll be the first to storm in, guns blazing (metaphorically or literally).

Romantic:

Jason has a protective streak a mile wide, sometimes forgetting you can handle yourself. You’ll have to remind him gently.

He shows his love in subtle ways, like cooking for you after a long day or leaving notes where he knows you’ll find them.

Jason has a vulnerable side that only you see. He’ll share pieces of himself over time, trusting you more deeply than anyone else.

He’s a sucker for quiet, domestic moments—reading together on the couch or sharing coffee on a lazy morning.

Selina Kyle (Catwoman)

Platonic:

Selina has a knack for pushing you out of your comfort zone in the best way possible. She’ll encourage you to take risks and trust your instincts.

She’s fiercely protective of you and has a sixth sense for when you’re in trouble, showing up just in time to save the day.

Selina loves sparring with you, both physically and verbally. She sees you as an equal and respects your opinions.

She has a mischievous side, often roping you into playful schemes or pranks on Bruce.

Romantic:

Selina is bold and flirtatious, always finding ways to keep things exciting between you.

She values your independence and would never try to cage you in. Instead, she supports your goals and dreams wholeheartedly.

Selina has a soft side she only shows to you—quiet nights cuddled up with her cats and whispered conversations about the future.

She loves surprising you with little gifts, often “liberated” from her latest heist.

Author’s Note: Hi, everyone! 💖 I had so much fun writing these headcanons for Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Selina. Whether you imagine these relationships as platonic, romantic, or a mix of both, I hope you find something here that resonates.

Feel free to like, reblog, or comment—I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions for other characters. Thank you for reading!

[lucabyte]

obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

[gotholdladywithadhd]

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

[squid-socks]

Shit that genuinely sucks and we need to stop calling “you sound like an old man” type problems. They are modern and actual issues:

AI phone operators. If they program that shit for 3 things and none of those things are what you need you just aren’t getting help.

Really hard to navigate “delete account” options with unclear outcomes. Even more so; “pause accounts” which look like “cancel account” and would confuse anyone whose tired or stressed and in a hurry. So suddenly payments come out in like a month bcs the account is unpaused??

Tiny and delayed x buttons on ads or “plus” versions of accounts🌝

Needing 10000 social media’s and apps a day accounts to have a normal running life. From socialising to work to food and savings. (I’m broke of course I have the fucking Tesco app with how they price gouge)

Everything’s an app now and all the websites suck. Why??? Idk. We’re in the bad place.

Everything comes per email and all things can be confirmed and adjusted online. This has its benefits - but having an option to say “only works in person with physical card” or something would help so many people manage all their online crap and avoid the constant threat of fraud!??

EVERYTHING NEEDS AN ACCOUNT EVERY WEBSITE EVEN GAMES YOU BUY ONLINE WANG SOME WEIRD ONLINE ACCOUNT UNRELATED TO THE GAME ITSELF???? It’s free but give us all your information that someone else will use to make certain things excessively more expensive on your phone. Which btw you can’t leave anywhere now as everything in your life HAS to be on it. And most things you need you will need to buy on it.

Always on that damn phone. Addiction. Eye problems. Back problems. Brain damage. Depression. The stupids. Anger issues. It’s a fucking problem.

Being a dick is just ok now?? Especially in the service industry. It actually is kind of a problem?? I don’t know how some of these people are genuinely still hired? Yes you can be underpaid and unnecessarily a dick. I’m not the one paying you. Nor am I the one abusing you - re-fucking-lax.

People who play music out loud in public??? I mean that’s just an asshole move???

People who work a trade related to fixing shoes and clothes are vanishing but also suck half the time???

Nowhere to walk anymore?? Nature is being swallowed up.

Food quality and flavour is in the toilet

No one mends or takes care of anything they own or buy anymore and consumerism is at a crazy high. We have no control over ourselves or the situation.

The “community” is dead. Ya know that thing that gave us the power to be informed and resolute and comforted by each others support - yeh that’s gone.

How expensive public transport has gotten. Fr tho.

Gum. No bcs actually it’s everywhere and it’s bad. We at least need more eco friendly hum or something. And some people need to learn to chew with their mouths closed!??

Having ads for plus versions of accounts or ads in general you can’t exit out of and only show “proceed” - that are a 50/50 shot; if you click that it will either THEN go to an exit ad page or automatically give you this subscription.

Having to close a whole app to get rid of an ad bcs there is no x button. And as a continuation to the previous bullet point; when you reopen the app and they insistently give you the ad each time and you STILL don’t know if it’s an automatic subscription or just to get to the “close ad” page.

Disinformation and misinformation actually being fucking believable. AI is good at deceit. Especially with rage bate and a high necessity for internet literacy (which needs to be updated basically daily). It’s easy to fall for something stupid and wrong. Even more so with genuine articles and news sources lying to your face or taking info from bad sources like tick tock. A busy person has 5min to read the news daily they can’t fact check literally everyone!??? (Also people under 30 where eating tide pods and putting their phones in microwaves so if grandma falls for a Facebook post I don’t wanna hear a single damn snicker you hypocrites 👀👀👀)

Sorry I’m gonna stop😅

[itsclydebitches]

Hazbin Hotel: Let's Talk About Cursing!

Trigger warning for lots of cursing in this post (obviously) and discussion of canon abuse scenes

As I delve further into the Hazbin Hotel fandom, I’ve inevitably come across a variety of people who dislike the show for an equal variety of reasons. One criticism I’ve seen with some consistency is in regards to the cursing and yeah, I get it. That’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. However, the repeated claim that the cursing is only there as a—failed—attempt at bad, lazy humor got me thinking about why I personally liked the cursing, and why I think it serves a greater purpose in the show.

Now yes, some of the cursing does function as an arguably simplistic joke. The most common setup I’ve noticed is one that leans into a contrast in tone/personalities. We see this a lot with the polite, comparatively timid Charlie as she navigates her distinctly vulgar domain.

Charlie: “Hi, mister!” Demon: “Go fuck yourself!”

The entirety of “Happy Day in Hell” plays with this contrast, setting up Charlie’s slightly skewed, but significantly optimistic perspective of Hell. We are shown again and again how her lyrics are contradicted or twisted into something less innocent through the visuals: a “revealing” street where it’s “hard not to stare” has BDSM going on in a nearby window, Charlie will “open the door” for her people and then literally does so... for a guy who’s already dead. (Or, you know, temporarily out of commission until he heals, or whatever demons do when they’re ‘killed’ by things other than angelic steel.) The entire point here is to contrast the happy, skipping girl claiming that there’s a “warm, fuzzy feeling” in the air with the actual environment of unchecked fires and decaying limbs. And yes, that can be amusing. Not necessarily for everyone as humor is highly subjective and dependent on context, but distilling this contrast down to the shock of a polite greeting getting a “Go fuck yourself!” in response is a kind of entertainment. Especially when Charlie’s reaction adds another layer: for me that’s a very funny—and currently relatable—expression.

We can potentially make the case that this humor format overstays its welcome, but I personally think the show does a good job of keeping Charlie’s cursing both simple and comparatively rare, so that when she is put into these contrast situations the humor lands better. The best example I can think of in the latter half of the show is Susan. There we get the whiplash of polite, trying-to-get-these-people-to-like-her Charlie reaching a breaking point to become “FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH” Charlie. It’s a moment that builds off of the earlier surprise of the courteous Alastor calling someone an “Ornery old bitch”—while Rosie is trying (and failing) to find a nicer way to phrase this.

However, as stated above I think the cursing serves more of a purpose than to just be funny for (some) viewers. Beyond those who simply find cursing distasteful, I’ve seen a fair bit of, “This is so stupid. No one even talks like that!” going around.

Except... I do? I talk like that.

See, I like cursing. I was born to former hippie parents and grew up playing MMOs, so cursing was something I became pretty acclimated to. Personally, I’m glad I was because I’m fascinated by language and cursing—for better or worse—is an integral way that many people communicate. I was taught to see cursing not as the Bad Forbidden Thing You Must Never Ever Do, but rather as just another form of expression, something to be used in moderation and under specific circumstances. Once I became an adult I already understood how I wanted to curse and when it was appropriate to do so. People at work are often shocked when I tell them I curse a lot because no, of course I’m not doing that at my job. That isn't considered professional in this space. Among my friends though?

We can sound a lot like the Hazbin crew.

Undoubtedly the most common curse in the show is “fuck” and its variations, which very much tracks with my personal experience among other people who curse. In fact, it’s so ubiquitous that it barely counts as a curse at all in some groups. It’s more of an easy, accepted way to add emphasis. Vaggie’s “What the fuck was that?” about Alastor’s commercial is a perfect example. She’s pissed and simply saying “What was that?” doesn’t carry the same weight, no matter how angry she may sound when she says it. Vox’s long “Fuuuuuuuck” at the end of “Stayed Gone” conveys an emotion you just can’t capture any other way. No dialogue at all would create a fundamentally different experience of Vox’s feelings and another non-cursing response is just gonna hit different. Not necessarily bad, just different.

“I don’t want to go to the party!” “I don’t want to go to the freaking party!” “I don’t want to go to the fucking party!”

The above represents three distinct characters to me and I think Hazbin Hotel gets that. Cursing isn’t thrown around randomly because something something cursing supposedly sells; it’s all linguistically logical. Characters curse when something surprising or bad happens, or when something unexpectedly good happens, when they’re angry, trying to be sexy, or they want to add that emphasis. That’s a lot of different situations where cursing can be useful and when you use “fuck” in your daily life a lot you become pretty desensitized to it. As said, for many it’s barely a curse at all. Which means that when you really want to curse you’ve got to up the ante. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that the two uses of “cunt” I can recall—a word that is generally considered far worse than “fuck” and makes a lot of people understandably uncomfortable—is used by two of the worst characters in moments that are meant to horrify the viewer:

Adam: “Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts / I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months!” Valentino: “When I say you’d better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say...?”

This horror is especially emphasized in Valentino’s scene. The creators know this word is coming up and deliberately build towards it. Angel is currently being abused and has been reminded that Valentino “owns” him. The above question is a part of a trio that Valentino asks (a standard structure in writing), wherein the third option is the outlier/most shocking of the three. The animation leans into that shock, with the music building and Valentino grabbing Angel to pull him close right on the word “cunt.” Perez even puts emphasis there because he knows that this is a significant word that will change our understanding of Valentino.

Despite having hit Angel multiple times and taunting him with the contract, this is the moment Valentino stops playing the ‘nice’ employer. This is the real him. No more fake compliments and endearments aimed at Charlie, no more fake comfort/intimacy aimed at Angel. That “cunt” conveys a hell of a lot about how Valentino really sees them and when you have a cast of characters who are already cursing on the regular, it takes a word on that level to do that kind of work. If Valentino had said, “get that fucking bitch out of my studio” it wouldn’t have had nearly the same impact because he’s the kind of guy who uses "bitch" even when playing ‘nice.’

Adam’s line from “Hell is Forever” does very similar work. The scene needs a word to align with the horrific reveal that another extermination is just six months away, that conveys Adam’s deep disgust for Charlie’s people, and that still catches the viewer’s attention even though he’s the character (I believe) who curses the most. Here the music drops and Adam is a little closer to speaking than singing; there's this shift because, like with Valentino, our perception of him is shifting. This isn’t just some egotistical idiot who wants to be called “Dick Master,” he’s the leader of an army coming to gleefully kill them. Framing a whole world of people—people Charlie loves—as “cunts” while treating their murder as a holiday that can’t come soon enough creates an, 'Oh shit. This guy is actually a threat' understanding that you can’t quite get with anything else.

On a smaller scale, cursing does other character work throughout the whole show. I watched a number of cursing compilation vids for this meta (that was a trip lol) and again, cursing is not thrown in randomly. Each character has a unique way of cursing that aligns with their personality and motivations:

As said, Adam curses the most in the show which helps sell his truly over-the-top, irreverent personality. Linguistically, the amount he curses also allows for some fun grammatical play. Lines like, “Fucking love putting my name on shit, shit’s the best!” help convey the versatility of cursing.

Also as said, Charlie curses a fair bit but she’s comparatively polite and her cursing tends to be a result of genuinely big emotions—like saying “Crap” when she’s shocked and falls, or “Shit!” when Adam locks her out of the room—rather than sprinkled into her conversations as a modifier. That leaves space to create those moments of amused surprise when Charlie really let’s loose.

Sr Pentious curses even less than Charlie which fits his secretly gooey center. He talks a big game at the start of the show, but he’s actually quite bad at being, well, bad (especially the Amazon version compared to pilot!Pentious). His idea of getting one over on Alastor is ripping a bit of his coat. He loves his Egg Bois and “doesn’t want to live” without them. He has no desire to go into battle without minions/a big machine to hide behind and, of course, he’s the first to be redeemed. He's too much of a secret sweetheart to curse a lot.

Interestingly, Niffty doesn’t seem to curse at all. At least, not enough for me to think of examples off the top of my head. Right now I’m inclined to read that as an extension of her lived experiences/design—the cute 1950’s housewife archetype who is obsessed with keeping things clean doesn’t [gasp!] curse—as well as a way to maintain her legitimate creep factor. As said, cursing is common among the hotel residents and is a way for them to linguistically fit in. Niffty, however, is positioned more as an outsider (despite how much they all obviously love her): she’s actually scary in a way most demons aren’t and despite how weird this whole world is, she stands out as someone no one else can make sense of (even Alastor). If cursing is normal, Niffty is a character who is decidedly positioned as not normal.

Angel curses a fair bit, though his irreverence is conveyed more through innuendos. Angel is great at verbally twisting others’ words (especially Husk’s) to give himself a conversational advantage:

Husk: “Go fuck yourself” Angel: “Only if you watch me~”

Husk: “You’ve come—” Angel: [very loud orgasm noise] Husk: “...to the right place.”

Meanwhile, Husk uses “fuck” plenty, but he’s also one of the few characters who use “bullshit" too. I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly revealing about that choice, but just giving him a go-to curse that’s otherwise used infrequently helps make his character distinct in a cast of other cursing characters.

Vaggie occasionally curses in Spanish, showing us her heritage if she used to be human, or a distinct knowledge/verbal preference if she’s always been an angel.

Heaven, as the ‘good’ side, doesn’t curse as a general rule, which leaves room for cursing to do more of that silent character work. We’re reminded of the stuffy, overly critical beings she’s dealing with when Charlie receives the combined judgement of the court for saying, “Fuck yeah!” In contrast, we understand just how shocked St. Peter is to see a Morningstar when he lets out an unintentional “Fuck!” The angry vindication of Charlie’s “That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!” lands harder after multiple scenes of very little cursing, and Lute’s “Some crack-whore who fucked up already? / He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth—” helps set her apart as an exorcist + Adam's second in command: her shocking violence comes through in her word choice too; words that supposedly don't belong in Heaven.

In what’s arguably the funniest line in the whole show, Lucifer undermines his dramatic standoff with Adam by going, “You mess with my daughter and now I’m going to fuck you.” Beyond just cutting the tension, that fits his bumbling, oblivious personality perfectly. Lucifer is crazy powerful and can absolutely wreck Adam. He also has none of the classy intimidation that, say, Alastor displays when he tries to convey that. This is a depressed himbo who makes ducks in his free time and settles on, “Hey, bitch!” when greeting his estranged daughter. Of course he’s going to accidentally turn a threat into a promise of sex.

Which finally brings me to Alastor, someone whose cursing is already understood well by the fandom. He’s characterized as manipulatively courteous, using manners to both hide his true nature and draw attention to his power—’You’re so beneath me I’ll just calmly sip my coffee and politely ask who you are, despite the fact that we've fought multiple times.’ This is a guy who calls people “My dear” and unironically insults them with the phrase “wacky nonsense.” So when he curses you can BET it’s gonna have an impact. It sure did for me. I had to pause the episode after Alastor’s first “Fuck you” because it was so shocking to hear that language from him. And that’s the point! The scene wants that reaction from the audience. The "Fuck you"s visceral anger contrasting the fake laughs he and Lucifer have been giving, the quick-fire exchange that’s suddenly cut short by Alastor’s choice of a direct insult, the fact that he’s officially dropping the polite veneer they’ve both been indulging in and raising the stakes before Charlie intervenes, the loss of the radio filter that otherwise demonstrates his control over a situation... all of it screams, ‘THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER MOMENT.’

"Fuck you” reveals that, for the first time in the show, Alastor is legitimately threatened by someone. Which makes sense given that, you know, Lucifer is the King of Hell. Cursing for Alastor isn’t normal, so when he does curse it’s going to reveal something about a guy who otherwise is obsessed with being unknowable. Having the King of Hell dismiss him is actually infuriating in a way Sir Pentious’ threats could never be and the exchange kicks off a rivalry that rattles Alastor in ways Vox’s never has. (Side note: is it any wonder people ship them? Character A making control freak Character B feel vulnerable is classic!) It’s no surprise to me than that the one other true curse we get from Alastor is, “I’m about to end your fucking life,” delivered to Adam who, like Lucifer, poses a legitimate threat and does end up beating him. I say “true” curse because calling Susan a “bitch” does similar work for him, but the takeaway is humorous rather than dramatic. It’s funny that the only people who can piss Alastor off enough to curse are the First Man/a powerful exorcist angel threatening his life, the literal King of Hell... and Susan.

So there’s a lot going on here, more than what many viewers might assume if they approach the show as just “stupid,” needlessly vulgar entertainment. As shown above, I don’t think the cursing is needless, especially given that, well... they’re in Hell. They’re sinners, supposedly the worst that humanity has to offer, so of course they're going to curse a lot. Does cursing mean you’re a bad person? No. Can you craft a hellish world that doesn't rely on cursing to convey a group's immoral nature? Sure.

Does it make sense that a writer would equate a sinful, irreverent cast with linguistic rebellion and would want to convey a certain vibe that, frankly, you just can’t get without dropping an F bomb?

Yeah, I think so. No one has to like that kind of creative decision, but it’s worth acknowledging it as a deliberate choice.

That’s all! Thanks for reading this fucking long post ✌️