#literally all of these. every single one were drawn from memory

[ksen-noodles]

Critters

Oodles of doodles - from those between classes to small gifts for @silkysong to mid-travel knee-mounted scribblings

Also ft. @kaisumisu and @shkika bc their sonas are so. Scrimbly. In my brain forever

[nyao-mi]

NOT MY ASTARION BRAIN ROT CONTINUING CUS LIKE i just got the scene where he literally says he misses seeing his face and that like he wishes he knew what he looked like and i??? WANTED SO BADLY FOR IT TO BE AN OPTION TO DRAW HIM

LIKE IMAGINE STARING AT HIM ACROSS THE BONFIRE, watching the way the light dances across his pale skin. youve been through hard times and one of the things you've learned to get through it was to draw

at first, you loathed the fact that you had to paint rich people for mere couple pieces of gold when you knew your art was worth more than that. you loathed even more that they'd upturn their posh noses at you and scoff when, truly, they knew what a treasure your art was.

now, seeing astarion, the way his white hair seemed to almost form a halo around his head, reflecting the moonbeams that graced his body, watching as he crossed his legs and meditated; you knew that you didn't regret a single second of the trials and tribulations that led you to this point.

you could finally put this agonizing skill to use. you could draw him.

and so you scrounged up some paper, an ink well, a quill; all things you'd pocketed during your adventures with the rather willful vampire.

you sat there, nib of the quill scratching against the parchment.

your art was nothing compared to the paintings you'd done before; these were mere lines and ink blots. you wished you could truly show him how beautiful he was through water color or pastels. instead, trapped in a land you barely knew, all you could do for him was this.

he had his eyes closed, of course, so you drew them from memory. strikingly red, like rubies, like blood. you didn't forget his crow's feet; you loved the way they wrinkled when he laughed. you shaped his lips, soft but rough from years of bite and chew, and formed it into his infamous mischievous grin.

his hair always seemed unruly but, drawing it now, it felt like drawing gorgeous chaos; there was an order to it, the way the bangs fell across his forehead, the way the sides feathered in front of his ears and curled behind them.

when you stopped, you realised you'd drawn him over and over, across several pieces of parchment.

the way he frowned and his fangs would glance across his lips. the way he'd look confused and his eyebrows would furrow. the way he'd look longingly at the stars, mind distant and eyes almost empty, like he'd made so many wishes that were never granted by the cosmos.

you never liked tooting your own horn but you felt like you truly captured him.

so, you took your pieces of paper, all drawings of him, dozens of them, small and sketchy; you took it all and you sat beside him and spread them out in front of you.

it took him a second to realise you were there. he'd been letting his guard down recently, especially when you were on watch duty, and it took you laying your head across his shoulder for his eyes to flutter open.

he opened his mouth, like there had almost been a retort slipping off his tongue, but the sight of your drawings stopped him.

he let out a ragged breath, eyes flickering across all of them. his clawed hands hovered in the air, trembling, as if taking a hold of the drawings would make them crumble under his touch.

and perhaps, in his head, he really believed they would.

'darling,' he'd call you, his voice wet with unshed tears 'what's all of this?'

of course he'd still joke. it was how he coped with things. he joked to hide how he truly felt and, of course, you were always there to understand.

'it's you,' you answered a matter-of-factly, as if you hadn't just turned this vampires world upside down 'its you the way i see you.'

and that's what makes him crack. because maybe, since you were the one that drew all of it, you hadn't noticed. but he noticed.

he noticed all the love and devotion you spilled across the page. every single detail, every single stroke, it was all from love.

and as someone who had never been on the receiving end of it, astarion cracked and he hid his face into your neck and he cried.

they were soft sobs, almost unnoticeable. but he cried nonetheless.

he cried for his past that he'd lost under his sadistic master, he cried for his difficult present that seemed impossible to escape, and he cried for this hopeful future you seemed to lay out in front of him.

he cried because he didn't realise that he had this much hope left inside of him. because he didn't know what else to do in the face of your devotion.

you just sat there, humming and rubbing his back, ignoring the way his arm wrapped around your waist, claws digging into your skin as if you'd disappear in front of him if he didn't hold on to you as tightly as possible.

[amomentsescape]

hello! Are you ok?, I hope so ❤️ (by the way, your writing is wonderful)

I would like to make a request for Yandere Slashers with an S/O who is a mermaid, who usually kills people who dare to invade her lakes, and she kills these people by drowning.

(I'm sorry if there are any writing errors, English is not my first language, and I'm writing this using Google translate)

Slashers with Mermaid! Reader

Yandere! Slashers x Reader

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

A/N: I'm doing good, thank you <3 I hope you enjoy! (Also, I decided I'm going to remove Lester from the Slasher requests. I'm still very much open to writing for him when specified, but I feel like he doesn't quite fit in with all the other Slashers).

Freddy Krueger

Meeting you was quite literally the best thing to ever happen in his undead life

He likes to team up with you, constantly coming up with different ways you both can contribute to someone's death

You pull them under, and they suddenly wake up in Freddy's world

Your dynamic is pretty ideal too

Whenever you sleep, you can visit him

And he has no issues with popping into your waters just to say hi

He does this quite often, in fact

He is very aware you can take care of yourself, but he still gets worried

You're his

He doesn't trust anyone being around you

Even if your only intention is to kill them immediately

He understands that where you are now is your home, but that won't stop him from doing whatever he can to have you live in his world

He can create the perfect environment for you

Miles and miles of nothing but water if your heart desires

Which hopefully it does

Since he isn't willing to wait much longer

Michael Myers

He never thought creatures like you actually existed

But the moment he saw your strength and darkness, he was immediately drawn in against his better judgment

He visits more often then you think

He's always around, watching

You can feel eyes on you almost 90% of the day, but you never really know where it's coming from

He enjoys watching you swim and just relax

But he especially loves seeing you drag poor souls into the tide with you

There's something so twisted and yet magical about watching you kill

But this fascination is also paired with extreme jealousy

He hates seeing you touch other people

And he almost envies the way they get to be so close to you, even if it means their demise

He hopes to find a way to take you home with him for good one of these times

You told him you loved him, so you'd be happy as long as you're by his side

Right?

Jason Voorhees

Out of all places to meet the love of your life, this one seemed especially unfortunate for Jason

But his feelings for you were strong enough to overrule his fear

He'll sit by the shore with you, hearing you talk and sing old tunes he's never heard before

He loves listening to your stories about the world underneath the current

But this always leaves him with such a deep feeling of sadness

He wants a life where you both can live together and share those memories

But he knows that's nearly impossible

He starts spending more time by the water side than the camp, finding that irresponsible teens like to be by the beach even more than the forest

You lure them in with your beauty and your words, and Jason finishes the job

He'll let you kill too if you really wish to, but he doesn't like the idea of those types of people being so close to you

He barely gets to touch you, so why should they get what he so desperately wants instead?

Thomas Hewitt

In this desert like area of Texas, Thomas has to travel quite far to see you

But the one time he accidentally stumbled upon you, he was smitten

And you surprisingly didn't turn him into another victim like all the others

He was kind to you

And now, he brings you food and stops by as often as he possibly can

You've made him little necklaces out of bones and shells

He wears every single one of them

Your bond only gets stronger each time he comes to see you

But Thomas can only take so much

Why can't you be closer?

He knows the family would love you

And he could make you so happy

His bathtub is big enough for you, he's sure of it

He knows that you won't want to leave your own home for his, but he loves you and knows what will be best for you

He's just got to be patient

Bubba Sawyer

His own family had to go on a search for him after he disappeared for a couple days

But he just couldn't help it

You make him so happy, and the more time he spent with you, the more difficult it became to leave your side

He's tried to jump in a few times to be with you, but you always persuade him out of it

He doesn't know how to swim, and you don't want him to end up like everyone else

That's when he decided that the best option would be to create your very own pond in his backyard!

That way, you could be with each other, and he would never have to say goodbye again

He hasn't told you this idea yet, but he's sure you'd be happy with it

This would also keep you from needing to kill anyone else

You're too beautiful to get your hands dirty

And it's unfair that they get to join you in the water when you won't let him do the same

He can make you super happy with his family, he's sure of it

Brahms Heelshire

He hates this dynamic between you two

He wants you at home with him so you can take care of him, and he can keep you away from everyone else

No one should get to touch you or look at you besides him

He's actually tried to drag you out of the water before, but the prospect of accidentally killing you was enough to make him stop

He never knew he could envy a body of water as much as he does

It gets to hold you, touch you, and be with you at all times

He wants that too, so desperately

Because of you, he's gone from house dweller to nature enthusiast in just a matter of days

Even when you think he's at home, he's stalking around, watching you

He insists it's to keep you safe

In fact, you haven't had to drown anyone in quite a while

And you can thank Brahms for that

The moment he sees a single soul in the area, he drags them off and disposes of them before you even have a chance to see them

He wouldn't dare let you touch another being that isn't him

Norman Bates

It honestly took him a really long time to believe that you were even real

He didn't think mermaids or sirens actually existed, so seeing you for the first time made him pinch himself to make sure this wasn't some weird dream

He also took a while to trust you since he didn't want to fall victim to your treacherous waters

But once he realized you were genuine, he dove straight in all at once

He visits you whenever he can for however long he can muster

Someone needs to run the motel, but God he wishes he could be with you 24/7

He's "jokingly" brought up the idea of you staying at the motel in a pool he could install for you

He just wants to keep an eye on you at all times

He constantly dreams of finding a way to make you human so you two can truly be together

Until you have two feet like him, it will never be enough

Billy Loomis

Doesn't tell a single soul about you

Not even Stu

And it's not because he's embarrassed or wants to see other people

He's honestly just scared that others will either think he's insane or try to capture you

Visits you every day and makes sure to pack his swim trunks so he can join you in the water

Constantly admires you and wants to run his hands along your scales

He just thinks you're all around incredible

But he has this hidden level of anger towards the situation

He wants to walk around town with you, show you off

He wants you to join him on his sprees so you can see just how powerful he can be

And he hates the idea of not having eyes on you at all times

He knows you kill anyone who isn't him, but he doesn't want you getting that close to anyone in general

He spends his nights studying ways to get you to live with him

He'll find a way to have you all to himself, even if it ends up being the death of him

Stu Macher

He actually first met you while you were seducing some poor soul to their death

And Stu was immediately enamored

He comes to see you whenever he can

He sometimes spends the weekend camping out along the shore just so he can spend more time with you

He thinks you're beautiful of course, but he can't help but fantasize what it would be like if you were human like him

You two come from very different worlds, but there's nothing that could keep you away from him

He likes to bring up the idea of mermaids and mythical creatures in casual conversations with people

How they react to it will determine whether they make his hit list

He likes to bring you jewelry and pretty objects from his victims, showing you items that you've never seen before

He talks about how one of these days, he's going to have a house built on the shore so he can be with you

And if you argue against it, he will shut down

The pent up frustration of not getting to sleep next to you every night makes his killings more brutal and his fantasies all the more darker

Vincent Sinclair

Every time he comes to see you, he brings a new portrait or wax figure of you that he made

You flood his dreams and his mind 24/7

He honestly thinks he's under some sort of spell

He doesn't mind that you aren't human like him

He's always felt very different from everyone else, so it's nice for him to have someone he relates to

But his jealousy constantly gets the better of him

Anytime you tell him of some poor soul you drowned, he can't help but feel his blood boil

Even if it ends in their death, he hates the idea of you flirting or seducing these people

The only one who should be receiving that attention is him

Barely sleeps at night

He has snuck to the shore countless time without your knowledge, just watching you and making sure your stories line up with what he observes

Is overall obsessed even more than you know

Bo Sinclair

If anyone saw you together, it would be enough to make them blush

The way you two can constantly flirt back and forth without any hesitation is otherworldly

You could have sworn he must have been a creature like you in a past life

He's so touchy when he's with you, not afraid to get his clothes wet in an effort to just be closer to you

He truly makes you feel accepted as you are and with where you live

But little do you know of his darker nature

He stalks the shore and kills off anyone that trespasses before you even have a chance to get to them

He doesn't need you looking at anyone but him

And he's already been renovating an old abandoned pool in Ambrose for you

You're going to finally be living with him like he's always wanted

You don't know this yet, but he's sure you'll be happy with the idea

It will be a great surprise

[vermilionsun]

GREETINGS

your writing is so MWAH chefs kiss💗💗 and i recently replayed TS and i would love to have a scenario written by you (no pressure ofc) i think kuras can read souls cause yk angel, and vere literally said that our suffering made it irresistible

how would kuras and vere react to an mc who is very sweet and positive but their soul radiates just pure misery, mc has not lived a single happy moment in their life but still radiating warmth???

Hello hellooo!! Thanks for sending this in (づ ￣ ³￣)づ

Disclaimer! They/Them for MC because we love inclusivity!

Kuras

Holy fuck.

These two words were the only thing replaying in Kuras’ head as he carried them to his clinic, heart ringing in his ears. 

Once he was satisfied with his work, he took a seat beside them, his eyes glued to their motionless figure. 

His fingers tap a restless rhythm against his knee as he studies their face. He waits, anxious eyes flickering from their face to their hands and back again.

Not so much because of the side effects that may occur due to their injuries, no. But because of their soul. The agony and suffering emanating from them were palpable and almost suffocating. Kuras could feel it weighing heavily on his own chest, making it difficult to breathe.

The faint tremors in his hands grow more pronounced as the pressure in his chest intensifies. This is a level of pain he thought long forgotten, a feeling he had hoped to never encounter again. He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, straining to maintain his composure as a wave of memory washes over him—

Their eyes flutter open.

[...]

“I am not easily intimidated.”

“...I’m sorry. Could I please have those?” They nod at the additional bandages in their hands.

Kuras raises an eyebrow, studying them for a moment before nodding. “Of course.”

They start wrapping them around their hands. “And… Thank you. For stitching my arms back and all.”

Kuras found himself surprisingly drawn to their presence. With each passing moment spent together, he grew increasingly intrigued by the gentle person hiding layers of pain and despair beneath them. There was something in the way they moved, the way they spoke, that hinted at a profound kindness, one they had likely never received in return.

He was torn between wanting to distance himself and wanting to lean in closer, drawn in by their presence like a moth to a flame. The dichotomy of their twisted, tortured soul, and the gentle, sweet person they seemed to be...

And their power…

It was a strange combination that he couldn't quite wrap his head around. It was both heartbreaking and captivating, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness towards them, finding himself unraveling the layers of their past and piecing together the puzzle of the pain h̶e̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶ o̶h̶ s̶o̶ w̶e̶l̶l̶ h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ that never boiled to the surface.

Vere

Vere smells them the moment they set foot out of the Wet Wick. Above all, though, he has the ability to sense their soul's anguish as though it were his own. It hangs heavy in the air, making him almost drool.

Exquisite.

He knows that their pain is a delicacy, a rare treat that he cannot resist indulging in. It excites him, sending a shiver of anticipation down his spine. He looks around and licks his lips in anticipation, eager to sink his teeth into their suffering and savor every delicious moment of it—

Until he lays eyes on the source, it almost leaves him breathless—a creature so pure and full of light that he is momentarily stunned. The darkness within them dances around them like a shadow, yet they radiate a warmth and purity that he has never encountered before.

As he shamelessly gazes at this… being, he feels a strange mix of fear and awe wash over him. Suddenly, the idea of causing them harm seems unfathomable. He hesitates, unsure of what to do next, as the realization dawns on him that he may have just encountered his own salvation.

[...]

"I saw you drop it [the key]. You really should be more careful. City like this, somebody might take advantage…" He sing-sang with a grin, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Uhm, okay. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I'll definitely be more careful in the future and keep a better eye on my belongings,"  they smiled kindly and extended their hand to accept the key back. "I appreciate your honesty," they added.

Their reaction is unexpected, almost painfully sincere, and it takes Vere a moment to recover. It was strange, considering his usual callous nature. He hesitates before returning the key with a faint smirk, his fingers grazing against theirs in the exchange. His eyes remained fixed on them, searching their expression for any sign of fear or hostility. But there are none. They act as though his very presence didn't alarm them at all. He couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at how easily they seemed to radiate kindness and gratitude.

In this world, such pure souls were few and far between…

What was happening to him?

Both? Both! Both is good.

Later that night, when everyone had gathered at the Wick, Vere made a point to give Kuras a long side glance, as if confirming the suspicions that had been brewing all evening.

“You felt that too, didn’t you?”

Kuras, however, seemed unfazed by Vere's silent accusations, his expression remaining stoic and unreadable.

He simply nodded in response, not giving anything away. Vere never learned if Kuras felt what he did in that moment; bone-chilling, heart-stopping terror and hunger unlike anything he ever felt before.

[matan4il]

Memo to the 'Experts': Stop Comparing Israel's War in Gaza to Anything. It Has No Precedent | by John Spencer

Israel's war against Hamas in Gaza has inevitably drawn comparisons to other battles or wars, both modern and from the past. These comparisons are mostly used to make the case that Israel's operations in Gaza are the most destructive in history, or the deadliest in history.

Yet while the use of historical analogy may be tempting for armchair pundits, in the case of Israel's current war, the comparisons are often poorly cited, the data used inaccurate, and crucial context left out. Given the scale and context of an enemy purposely entrenched in densely populated urban areas, as well as the presence of tunnels, hostages, rockets, attackers that follow the laws of war while defenders purposely do not, and proximity between the frontlines and the home front, there is basically no historical comparison for this war.

Let's start with the context: After Hamas crossed into Israel on Oct. 7, murdering over 1,200 Israelis in brutal ways that included mutilation and sexual assaults as well as taking over 200 hostages back into Gaza, Israel formally declared a defensive war against Hamas in Gaza in accordance with international law and the United Nations charter. Since, the IDF estimates it has killed 10,000 Hamas operatives, while Hamas claims that the total number of casualties is 24,000 (Hamas does not distinguish civilian deaths from militant deaths).

Hamas' strategy is to use Palestinian civilians as human shields, because their goal is not to defeat Israel's military or to hold terrain; it is far more sinister and medieval—to use the death and suffering of Palestinian civilians to rally international support to their cause and demand that Israel halt their war.

Meanwhile, Israel's war aims were more traditional: returning Israeli hostages, dismantling Hamas military capability, and securing their border to prevent another October 7 attack.

These goals required not one major urban battle but multiple. While Gaza is not the densest populated urban region on earth as many claim, it features over 20 densely-populated cities. And while the Israeli Defense Forces are engaged in fighting, Hamas has continued to launch over 12,000 rockets on nearly every day of the war from the combat area toward civilian-populated areas in Israel, literally over the heads of the attacking IDF, who it bears mentioning are fighting just a few miles from their homeland and the homes of their soldiers.

Put all of this together, this war is simply without precedent. Certainly, it cannot be compared to the host of other wars that have been used for comparison sake to paint Israel in an unflattering light.

Some have compared Israel to Russia, yet there is simply no comparison. In the 2022 Battle of Mariupol, estimates of the number of civilians killed range up to 25,000, including 600 civilians killed in a single bombing of a theater with the word "children" written in giant letters around it. This is the same Russia that killed over 50,000 civilians (5 percent) of a 1.1 million pre-war population of Chechnya in 20 months of combat in the late 1990s in multiple major urban battles such as Grozny.

Or take Syria. Over 300,00 civilians have been killed in the Syrian war; an average of 84 civilians were killed every day from 2013 to 2023.

Others have compared the battles in Gaza to World War II air campaigns like the UK bombing of the German city of Dresden in 1945 that killed an estimated 25,000 civilians. But here, too, memory is selective: These same people discount air campaign cases such as the U.S. firebombing of Tokyo the same year that killed over 300,000 civilians, to include 80,000 to 100,000 civilians in a single night, causing more death and destruction than Dresden, Hiroshima, or Nagaski.

A battle that does bear a resemblance to Israel's war against Hamas is the 1945 Battle of Manila—the largest urban struggle of World War II, with more civilian casualties incurred than even the Battle of Stalingrad. The city had a population of 1.1 million residents as well as over 1,000 American prisoners of war being held in the city. It took the U.S. military 35,000 forces and a whole month to defeat 17,000 Japanese Navy defenders in and around the city.

Like in Gaza, the defenders used the city's sewer and tunnel systems for offensive and defensive purposes. And there were over 100,000 civilian deaths from the battle—one of the major factors of the 1949 Geneva Conventions, which stipulated the laws of armed conflict to further protect civilians and prevent civilian deaths.

Most experts compare the Gaza war to the recent urban battles against ISIS involving United States forces, including the 2016-17 Battle of Mosul. In that battle, over 100,000 Iraqi Security Forces, backed by American advisors and U.S. and coalition air power, took nine months to clear a city of 3,000 to 5,000 lightly armed ISIS fighters. The battle resulted in over 10,000 civilian deaths, 138,000 houses destroyed or damaged and 58,000 damaged with 40,000 homes destroyed outright in just Western Mosul. Iraqi Security Forces suffered 10,000 casualties. There were very limited, shallow, house-to-house tunnels, but no tunnel networks, no hostages, no rockets.

In April of 2004, the U.S. military was directed to arrest the perpetrators of an attack that caused the death of four American civilians and deny insurgents sanctuary in the densely populated city of Fallujah, Iraq, a city of 300,000 residents. The battle that ensued was later dubbed the First Battle of Fallujah. Because of international condemnation and political instability fueled by international media over a perceived indiscriminate use of force and civilian casualties, the U.S. forces were ordered by the U.S. Central Command Commander to stop the battle six days into it.

Estimates of the total civilian deaths from the battle range from 220 to 600. Six months later, in November 2004, the U.S. military initiated the Second Battle of Fallujah. It took 13,000-15,000 U.S., UK, and Iraqi forces six weeks to clear the city of 3,000 insurgents. There were some 800 civilian deaths even though the city's residents had largely evacuated before the battle. Over sixty percent the city's buildings were damaged or destroyed. But there, too, the enemy defenders did not have access to tunnels.

Ultimately, comparisons with both past and modern cases highlight the fact that there is almost no way to defeat an entrenched enemy defender without destruction, even while implementing all feasible precautions and limits on the use of force required by the laws of war.

Let's put away our military history books. There is no comparison to what Israel has faced in Gaza—certainly none by which Israel comes out looking the worse.

John Spencer is chair of urban warfare studies at the Modern War Institute (MWI) at West Point, codirector of MWI's Urban Warfare Project and host of the "Urban Warfare Project Podcast." He served for 25 years as an infantry soldier, which included two combat tours in Iraq. He is the author of the book Connected Soldiers: Life, Leadership, and Social Connection in Modern War and co-author of Understanding Urban Warfare.

[idiotegirl]

Glimpse of us

Summary: The Woman you loved was getting married. But you needed to tell her you loved her. Every woman you meet now reminds you of her.

Author Note: ‘Twas in a silly mood ig cuz I’m ngl I cant Write for the life of me. I literally have my other series planned but just couldn’t be asked cuz I’m drowning in work. Anyways enjoy. Inspired by Jojis amazing music fyi.

Warnings ig: smut (first time it’s bad) Angst, Unrequited love?

Wanda/Fem Reader Wanda/Vision

—————————————————————————————————————

The tall blonde man you were envious of watched his beautiful scarlet redhead wife walking down the aisle to be wedded. You watched from back seat row and felt only heartache in your broken heart. In that moment all was lost, she was with another man and was happy, whilst you were experiencing something you wished to never experience so selfishly.

The woman you had known since hydra was getting married, not to you, but to another man who she had fallen in love with. You promised Pietro to always look after her and you did, however that came at the price of not telling her your feelings, but you didn’t hide them. The redhead was just absolutely oblivious to everything she only saw you as a sister whilst when you were around her feeling like a lost puppy aching for love. Everyone else on the team were well aware and didn’t intervene.

The redhead wearing a gorgeous wedding dress that hugged her curves and had hints of emerald to match her beautiful eyes. Dangerously low cut to show her chest, but that was all for her husband now. She was walking down the aisle, but slowed as she was looking for someone. When she had not seen that person she moved quicker and got to the front and looked back one last time to the crowd that joined them today.

Emerald eyes gazed over the crowd and locked on you. You faked a smile and she had a genuine excited smile on her face. She turned to face Vision and looked at him with the same eyes you looked at her with.

Vows were exchanged with love and the whole audience clapped as they shared a kiss. Your hands felt heavy as you lifted them up to give a reluctant clap. Wanda looked to the crowd with teary eyes and looked to you who had a single tear rolling down your cheek as you looked defeated. Puppy eyes on the newly wedded and eyebrows furrowed with a sad expression. Wanda thought it must’ve been the sisterly emotions as many sister cry when they see their sisters grow up and be wedded. But not this occasion.

This was the day you lost Wanda Maximoff forever.

And it was all your fault.

—————————————————————

Loud music boomed in your ears as you felt a woman grind against your front. You played along as your hands dragged from her hips upwards along her body. You planted kisses along the girls neck and heard her moans as her head tilted against you. She was begging for more. Red hair filled your vision as you looked down at the woman who was seducing you.

You got a whiff of the woman’s hair and it only brought back memories of her. You were absolutely wasted and didn’t know who was infront of you. You knew it had to be a stranger, but that smell you ached for it to be her. Was this a stranger? Or was it the one who got away from you?

You shake those thoughts from your head and continue onwards with this woman. You couldn’t even remember why you were at this club, but it was a yearly thing you recalled. The woman infront was inviting you to her place and your head felt heavy and ears were deafened from the loud music. You couldn’t see her face and you nodded unknowingly and she hastily grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a taxi.

Her hands landed on your thigh as she started to get dangerously close to your crotch. You stopped her and looked at her deadly. She looked scared and apologised. You didn’t say anything back and instead were drawn to her lips. They looked like Wanda’s. You leaned forward and pressed your lips onto hers in an attempt to push back any memories of that woman.

—————————————————————

Wanda desperately tried to find you in her after party of the wedding. She hadn’t seen you since the ceremony and was too busy dancing with everyone, but hadn’t danced with the one she desperately wanted to hold and talk to about something important. She wanted to share her happiness with the most important person in her life. She asked everyone she danced with and got no answer until she had danced with Natasha and apparently you were at the bar drinking a lot.

Wanda excused herself from Natasha and saw you laying down at the bar as the bartender told you that you weren’t allowed to drink anymore. You shouted back in Defense saying how you could handle it and how you were an avenger your metabolism will get rid of it quickly. Wanda rushed over and apologised to the bartender who looked angry from your arrogance.

You look up to see the beautiful goddess herself and smile widely. “WANDA!” You shouted excitedly and tried to stand from the stool to hug her, but your legs were wobbly and you tripped into her. Wanda frowned at you and asked the bartender for some water. She grabbed the bottle of water and wrapped a hand around your waist to support you as she dragged you outside. Plopping you down on a nearby bench. She placed the water bottle into your lap and took a seat next to you as she huffed.

You were upset. You ruined her day and made Wanda sad. You opened the water and chugged it down in one fell swoop. No one had spoke and you were looking at the beautiful garden in front of you. Meekly you whispered “I am sorry.” Wanda looked at you and a tear fell down her cheek. “Why? Why did you get drunk. This was my day Y/n and u selfishly didn’t allow me to dance with you, refused to be my bridesmaid and didn’t even tell me you were coming. You are my sister and you made MY day about you. Did you even think about me this entire day or was this a free booze event huh.”

You laughed incredulously and looked at her. You wiped her tear from her cheek and looked down at her lips. You looked back at her eyes and smiled. You stood up as this conversation was going to make you sober. “You are truly funny Wanda. Of course I thought about you today. Everyday I think about you. There isn’t a moment of a day since I met you where I don’t think of you. I even dream about you. I came here because Natasha told me how you wanted me here. I didn’t wanna be a bridesmaid as you are too foolish to see the truth Wanda. I have been your friend for years. I am your longest friend ever and I only ever think about you to the point I hurt myself so I can see you happy.” Wanda looked confused and you laughed.

“God even now you don’t realise it.” You got dangerously close to her and bent down to her level as you looked her in the eyes. You could hear a fast heartbeat. It definitely wasn’t yours, but rather it was Wanda’s.

“I love you Wanda Maximoff, but not as a friend. I have always loved you.”

—————————————————————

You had been dragged out of the taxi and next minute you knew you were in a bedroom. Your head was spinning but there was a reason you were here. It happened yearly, but what was it.

Hand roamed a figures body. The woman moans as your cold hands sneak under her clothing and unclasp her bra and you start to play with her nipples in between your fingers. Your eyesight was hazy, but you saw the woman infront of you. She had red hair but her facial features were nothing like Wanda’s. Except for her emerald eyes that resembled the beautiful goddess you once knew and still craved for.

You shake those thoughts away and quickly discard the woman’s clothing from her body. You didn’t want to know her name. You weren’t interested this was a one time thing. Hands tugged at your clothing desperately begging for them to be removed. You removed your top and that was all that would be removed for tonight. You never let anyone see your fully naked body. You were saving that for one woman that never wanted to see you again.

You push the woman onto the bed and kiss her passionately to remove all thoughts from your head. Despite not talking to Wanda in years she still flooded your head at every moment. You started trailing kisses down the woman’s body and stoped at her breasts as you took one of her nipples in your mouth and teased it. The woman moans at your actions. Your right hand snuck up her thighs and teased her folds that were already wet. The woman starts to pant and moan.

You remove your mouth from her nipple and look at her. Your hand still continuing to tease her folds. You told her to open her eyes and she obeyed.

“Tell me how bad you want it. Tell me how you want me.” She panted desperately and told you all you wanted to know.

You kissed her hard as your fingers entered her and she groaned into your mouth. Your fingers worked her as you bite down hard on her lip and her lip started to bleed. You lick the blood and start sucking on the wound. You stop and then move to her neck leaving marks all over her. You leave them all over her neck and on her breasts.

She starts squirming under you telling you she was close. You fastened the pace of your fingers and her body jerked as she moaned and stopped. You let her ride through it before removing your fingers and putting them in her mouth. Her tongue lapsed around your fingers as she tasted herself.

You kissed her again to taste herself on her tongue. She groans in satisfaction. Her eyes flutter open and you look into them.

Suddenly, in that moment you remembered why you were there. Those emerald eyes looked so much like Wanda’s. You pulled back from the kiss suddenly and had a sad look on your face.

The woman noticed and asked what was wrong, but all you could hear and see was Wanda in front of you asking that.

—————————————————————

Wanda looked at you in disbelief. She stood up quickly and looked at you. She looked into your eyes to see if you were lying. How could she not have seen this? She thought. You half smiled to try reassure her.

“No no, you don’t get to do this on MY wedding day. You don’t get to act like this is about you. I am happily married and in love with Vision not you.” You giggled as she defended herself. You looked at her and she looked confused. She stepped back away from you like she was disgusted.

“I know Wanda. But I have to ask. Did you ever harbour those feelings for me too. I mean did you ever stop to think mmm maybe I like Y/n as more than a friend. Because you sure gave me mixed signals all those times you were heartbroken and lost. Everytime I was there. When you had fights with Vision. When you had nightmares. I was always there. No one else. You always acted like I had a chance when you used to sleep next to me in my bed and cuddle me saying how you loved me and how it was ‘you and I against the world, all we need is each other’”

Wanda laughed mockingly in response. “I never liked you more than a friend Y/n. I said those things as a sisterly way. You were only a sister, I used you to replace Pietro. That’s why we were close. I only went to you because you were convenient. That’s all you were. A convenience. You are so deluded to think I loved you for a second.” She practically hissed at you. Your heart broke even more in that moment.

All that time wasted.

For what.

To be just a convenience. You were a fool to think that the goddess herself the scarlet witch even liked you.

You couldn’t hold back tears. You let them fall and Wanda in that moment knew she messed up. She didn’t mean anything she said. She looked like she wanted to say something, but you just ran away into the gardens. Wanda tried running, but her heels and dress weren’t doing any good. She knew she would regret this.

She thought she would be able to make up with you the day after her wedding, but was surprised to see that you quickly quit SHIELD and packed your room up. You left no details on where you were going and your phone was disconnected. You only left a few things. All them being presents and things Wanda had given you or was in.

Wanda rummaged through the items and found an old PhotoBooth strip from when you had taken her out on a fun date to get over being on the run from the accords. She was in your lap with her arms over your shoulders. Both so young and so happy. She noticed how in the last 2 photos you looked at her like no one else had looked at her before in her life.

Her heart ached for you.

She never got to tell you she did love you more than a friend. However, she made herself get over them due to being afraid that she would one day mess up and lose a friend.

You were never just a convenience for Wanda, you were her soulmate. She didn’t know why she said all that. She just wanted you to not feel that way so she didn’t think she had a chance and made a mistake marrying Vision.

—————————————————————

You always caught glimpses of Wanda in everyone you took to bed. You only chose people who looked like her. It wasn’t on purpose. You wanted nothing to do with that woman anymore. It was a subconscious thought that just drew them to you in hope one day you would find Wanda, divorced and craving you. You wanted to be loved. You wanted to be desirable for someone. Not just a convenience.

You blink hard a few times and your hazy vision returns to see the woman again. You fake a smile and shake your head slowly.

“Oh it’s nothing. I just remembered something.” The woman smirks and pulls you closer to her.

“Mmm do you need help forgetting.” She whispers huskily in your ear.

You kiss her in response and your tongue slips into her mouth. Your hands find their way to her breasts and her hands grip at your hair. You pull away and smile.

You start trailing kisses down her body until you got to her legs. You left marks on her inner thighs and watched as she squirmed when you got dangerously close to her folds and your nose brushing over her clit.

You look at her with those dead eyes that were once full of happiness and love. Today was the 4th anniversary of Wanda’s wedding. The day she broke you completely.

“Help me forget.”

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi (Bleach) - Chapter 1

“Is that her?”

“Shh, not so loudly, she might hear you.”

You really wish you could banish what you feel. But you suppose you prefer them viewing you as a coward rather than a monster.

The sight of a few of the captains walking brings an unsettling feeling and even worse memories.

“(Y/N)!!!!”

Rukia’s call echoed, her body trembling. She could see the blood.

So much.

The sword protruding from your chest should have you crippled, but you were still standing. Rukia was paralyzed as you stood over the hollow. Byakuya watched. His sword had been drawn for battle, but you were standing before what seemed like the last hollow, remorse not present on your face.

“W-Wait you heartless reaper w-wa-”

You rammed your hand through its mask, its body disintegrating shortly after.

This particular mission had taken a turn for the worse. It became apparent that these hollows were too much when one of them had managed to get a hold of your blade. The very sword that is now impaled in your chest. The second the captains were alerted of the chaos, they’d rushed over immediately.

If they expected anything, it wasn’t a reaper taking out hollows with their bare hands.

Toshiro was in a similar state of shock.

There were multiple indents in the ground and they could only assume you had something to do with it. Rukia’s body was beaten, and yours seemed much worse, yet you were still standing.

You finally turned in their direction and Toshiro had to admit he didn’t like the dead look in your eyes.

“We need to be careful, she could be dangerous.”

That’s the word he used that day.

“Dangerous..”

Any other reaper would have been praised for taking down six hollows single handedly. That was something the eleventh squad members loved to boast about, but you’d practically begged the head captain to keep it all a secret. Every reaper below the title of captain was unaware of your situation.

Rukia was the only one who knew because she’d seen it first hand.

You wish that you could rid it, the terrified look she wore. When you finally gained consciousness, you woke up in squad four and you were circled by captains. All of which were looking at you as if you would strike at any moment.

You hated it, and you knew it wasn’t intentional. But you couldn’t help but feel like the enemy.

Like something that should be eradicated.

You kept your eyes forward as you stepped into twelfth division, you were greeted by Nemu and of course that crazy scientist.

“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite experiment."

He twiddled his fingers in that creepy way, smiling in a way that always had an unpleasant chill rushing up your spine.

“Please don’t do anything weird Kurotsuchi-taicho.”

Yesterday he’d literally made markers on your body when you fell asleep. You had to check just to make sure he hadn’t stolen an organ while you were just trying to catch a nap.

“I am only conducting the necessary experiments to fully study your healing. Nemu, bring me the syringe.”

“Hai, Mayuri-sama.”

She picks up the item from the table, walking over as she hands it to him.

“Sorry for the discomfort.” Nemu says beforehand.

The needle is quite long. You just give her a smile.

“Compared to the crazy stuff he’s already stuck inside me, I think the needle is the least of my problems.”

You hold out your arm, and Mayuri takes your wrist, injecting you with who knows what. His eyes are firmly planted on your form. More specifically, your lack of reaction. He casts a look in Nemu’s direction, and she nods soundlessly. You raise a brow with a tilt of your head.

Mayuri retracts the needle, dropping it into a nearby bin.

“Interesting.”

He reaches for a small clipboard, taking notes. When he’s done, he rips the sheet off, handing it to Nemu.

“Please send this to Akon.”

“Yes, Mayuri-sama.” She takes it, walking away. When the door shuts behind her you sit there waiting.

“Are we done?”

“For now. Return tomorrow.”

You nod, standing as you stretch your arm experimentally. The needle has left some residual blood, and you stare at it.

“We cannot take a chance of sending her on missions until this situation is dealt with. We have no way of telling who she sees as an ally or enemy in that state.” Toshiro argued.

All you could do is stand there as the captains decided whether or not you were fit to do your job.

“I can run the necessary tests to ensure that we have no reason to eliminate her.”

The choice of words made your eyes widened and Jushiro stepped forward, clearly displeased.

“She is not something to be removed!”

“Regardless of your personal views, we are unaware of what she’s capable of. I can help. Let me test her.”

Looks were exchanged around the room. No one really trusted Mayuri not to carry out crazy experiments, but the uncertainty seemed just as unnerving to them.

“Very well, starting today you will be in Mayuri Kurotsuchi’s care.”

You just bowed your head.

“Yes, I understand.”

It was painful watching them decide your faith like that.

You had no say in anything. In a way, you’re grateful to Mayuri. Not just for his input, but possibly his indifference. You chuckle, and he turns at the sound.

“Is something funny?”

He sounds a bit annoyed, probably because you haven’t left yet.

“It’s nothing really, it’s just that you’re probably the only one who doesn’t look at me like a monster.”

You smile, but there is nothing humorous about it.

Mayuri just watches you.

“You’re quite stupid.”

“H-Hey!!”

He waves his hand casually.

“Why would I look at such a precious specimen like a monster? Your entire makeup is exquisite. You can’t expect a simple minded being to understand the extent of your power. Fear of the unknown is for foolish beings who lack the understanding of how the world works. Do not insult my intelligence.”

You can’t really say much because that’s probably the nicest thing that this mad scientist has ever said to you.

Looking down, you can’t help but flush. Him of all people shouldn’t be the one giving you a pep talk. This guy is pretty much a maniac.

Maybe that’s the lesson.

Monster, mad scientist..maniac.

Maybe the problem is the labels that are used to perceive things that are different.

Despite yourself, you smile, shaking your head.

“Arigatou, Kurotsuchi-taicho.”

He looks over at you, and the smile that you wear just makes him click his tongue.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. “

You still smile.

“Hai!”

There might be more to your abilities than what you initially thought. 

[shinsou-rii]

my eurydice - lee heeseung (1.4k words) warnings! mention of death

He could still feel the same harrowing pain that had been plaguing his chest since the day his wife died. Heeseung had never felt so much torment and sorrow in his life and he wasn’t prepared to face this for the rest of it.

Every single day in the late evening, he found himself in the same spot on his bed, curled into himself screaming out his sorrows. Begging and pleading to every deity he could think of to bring his sweet darling back to him. He no longer lived to play his music or recite his poems and the great name he had made for himself was slowly being reduced to nothing as he chose to isolate himself from the rest of the world.

It had been the day of your wedding, you and heeseung had been freshly married by the god of marriage himself and ready to spend your eternity together. The love the two of you shared was honestly breathtaking to those who ever witnessed the two of you; it was the kind of love that people spend their whole life looking for, you were each other's sources of joy and happiness - a light in all of the dark, made just for each other. The two of you were such strong spirits willed together; him being the greatest poet and musician to have ever lived - people were still even unsure if he was real, his mere presence so mysterious yet so powerful and his music so overbearingly alluring that it could quite literally save lives and you, a graceful nymph blessed with an irresistible and beguiling beauty that could never go unnoticed by those who had been lucky enough to get a look at you with their own eyes. 

During the unification of your two souls, it was prophesied that your happiness would not be one to last long, but who were the two of you to question it at that moment? It was supposed to be a joyous day of love and affection, what little point is there in hurting yourself on such a day. You thought it better to have the memory untainted and pure than to spoil it with such negativity. 

Except the fates were not on your side, for of course the prophecy unravelled itself on the very same day. After the wedding, you had found yourself in a frantic sprint, across the river and through fields upon fields of grass. With a man in pursuit of you; a minor god who had no good intentions, had attacked your husband in an attempt to rid him and snatch you away for himself. His main focus being to claim you as his own, whether you wanted him or not.

Upon coming to this realisation, you had taken to running as far from him as you possibly could with not really a care in where you went so long as you were safe from this man’s harm. In your futile attempt to escape, you had not realised that in the field you had run into, there was a venomous snake in front of you, who was unfortunately ready to attack. The bite from the snake had ended up killing you and you had found yourself in the house of hades, departed from your soulmate. 

From that day Heeseung had decided life without you was meaningless, he needed you back and he was prepared to sacrifice whatever it took to get you. With that pain he felt being the driving emotion, he knew that it was now time to put the moping behind him and now he had to claim his beloved back from the clutches of the dead. 

Entering the underworld with Lyre in hand, he played a song of his woes and troubles, of his love for his wife and of how you were ripped from him so soon and of how he needed you back. At this moment, it felt like all time had stopped in the underworld. All creatures, the furies, the spirits of the dead were drawn from their tasks, in awe of the man making his way through. It was the saddest song that had ever graced Hades, and yet it was so captivating that no one dared to interrupt or look away.

Both of the rulers of Hell looked over at him as he made his way towards them, both of them knowing what he had come for and neither of them having the heart to deny his request. With the whole of the underworld brought to tears at his sorrow, there wasn’t a way for them to reject his offer with such warmed hearts. 

“We understand what you have come for, or rather who you have come for Lee Heeseung.” Jaeyun started as he stood up from his throne, watching Heeseung bow down on his knees, a sign of respect for the god and his wife.

“Together we have decided that we will grant your wish, for how could we ignore the beautiful way in which you have come down here and moved us all,” Yunjin smiled sweetly down at him. Heeseung couldn’t believe what he was hearing as he looked up towards the two, a mixture of shock, gratitude, relief and whatever other emotions he was feeling plastered on his face. 

he felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from his chest, he was getting his wife back. His heart picked up its pace along with his breathing as he tried to comprehend the fact that he had actually succeeded in persuading two almighty beings to grant his wish. oh how he’d be in eternal thankfulness to those two.

“Now Heeseung, I want you to understand that there is one condition, a minor ‘price to pay’ if you will- your lover will follow behind you as you navigate your way back however, under no circumstance must you look at her until you have both completely left here.” The god's tone had turned stern, and his eyes hardened as he told Heeseung the simple rule he must follow, conveying the severity of his message. 

gulping down the fear that was now slowly starting to rise, he responded “Of course, I thank you for your kindness and I am forever in your debt.” Jake lifted his hand, a sign for Heeseung to stand up from his knelt position and with a wave of his hand dismissed him on his journey back with you following behind him. 

With every step he took, further up to earth, the place in which you both belonged together, Heeseung could feel himself growing impossibly impatient. The need to see your beauty was clawing at every fibre of his being. Knowing you were right there, right behind him, yet not being able to look at you was slowly driving him to insanity. 

The light of the sun coming from earth was soon filling his vision, as he stepped across the threshold between earth and the underworld. With a grin on his face, one so bright that it could rival Helios himself, he turned to look at you, his lost lover whom he was finally reunited with.

Only for his grin to fall just as quick as it had risen. 

He watched as you thrashed and screamed, trying your best to go against the force that was pulling you back down to where you had just come from. Tears poured down your face as you shouted for your lover who had now dropped to the floor in shock.

He watched as you were pulled further and further away from him, making no attempt to save you from the inevitable. It was too late that he had realised his mistake. 

A very fatal mistake, not just for you but for him as well.

he had crossed the borderline to earth, you had not. 

In the rush of the excitement and adrenaline pumping through him, he had failed to remember that he was not to look until the both of you together had left. A stupid mistake that had cost him his second chance at his marriage that was unfairly ripped from him, his second chance at really living.

The pain of losing you the first time over an accident was overbearing, but nothing could compare to what he felt now, the second time he had lost you and the fact that he had no one to blame but himself. How could he have been so stupid? 

He was possibly given the most straightforward condition to follow, and he allowed greed and selfishness to overcome him. That was it.

No more chances, no more you.

a/n - not proofread, lmk if there’s any mistakes! this was so self indulgent,, i need more greek mythology fics i’m sorry 🤧

[sectumsempress1]

Good Omens Season 3: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Sectumsempress1, Hag

I am once again going through my Good Omens season 3 predictions bingo and explaining why I think the things I think. Today I want to talk about Metatron's memory meddling, or more specifically why I think Aziraphale is the Archangel Raphael and why I don't think he remembers.

Once again, I know I cannot be the first person to think of this theory. I'm just adding my two cents. Here we go.

I know there is a fairly popular theory that Crowley was Raphael before the fall, but putting aside the fact that it simply wouldn’t work for television to give them a name that similar to Aziraphale, I just disagree with that assessment. I like to think that Crowley was Jophiel before they fell and Aziraphale’s original name was Raphael. 

I think we can answer this theory very quickly by noting that in The Book of Tobit, Raphael disguises himself as a human on earth, acting as a healer and guardian under the name Azariah. I honestly just think that Neil and Terry took the name Raphael and his human name Azariah and landed on Aziraphale. 

Furthermore, Raphael (“God has healed”) is literally the archangel of healing. He is also known as the angel of protection and keeping people safe on their journeys. God gives Raphael a mission in The Book of Enoch, verse 10:10 to:

“Restore the earth, which the [fallen] angels have corrupted; and announce life to it, that I may revive it.”

Aka ‘thwarting evil wiles.’ In The Zohar it’s also stated in Genesis chapter 23 that he: 

“is appointed to heal the earth of its evil and affliction and the maladies of mankind.”

If I were to go over every single instance of Aziraphale fitting the bill for these descriptions I would be here all day, but some I can think of off the top of my head are:

Giving Adam and Eve the flaming sword to assist them on their journey

Healing Anathema’s broken arm and bike

“Actually, I encourage humans to do the actual- [thwarting of evil wiles]”

Fixing that man’s phone in the graveyard in Scotland

Insisting that he wants to heal wee Morag  

Protecting ‘Jim’ 

This stunning scene in the Job memory: 

He is very clearly shown as a healer, protector and guardian of humanity, more so than any other character. 

Raphael is also known as a matchmaker, which is funny when you think about the Nina and Maggie situation but also makes total sense. Aziraphale loves love. Also he blows the trumpet to announce the Day of Judgement, aka the second coming. I guess Metatron needs Raphael back now huh? He even told Aziraphale himself that he is the only one qualified for this job. Aziraphale is Raphael. 

Or… he was.

I believe that Raphael was demoted following the fall, and Gabriel’s story is meant to mirror his. This scene says SO much: 

“You have refused to exercise your celestial authority, and are henceforth removed from office”

I think something similar absolutely could have happened to Raphael. We all saw how immediately drawn Aziraphale was to Crowley in ‘before the beginning,’ and it makes sense that Metatron could have seen that connection as a liability when he fell. He cannot have an Archangel in Heaven who is sympathetic to one of the fallen, it would be a ticking time bomb for another revolution. Aziraphale being sympathetic towards Angel!Crowley before and during the fall would make him question the fall as a concept, and Heaven could not afford that.

“For one Prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story, for it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem.”

I think the first prince of Heaven Metatron is referencing to is Crowley, and I think he had this same mindset of making sure there was no perceived institutional problem during the time of the fall. So I think that is one of the reasons why Raphael wasn’t cast down; it would look bad. I think the other reason is; Metatron wanted him and Crowley separated, even then. Even then there was some glimmer of their potential combined power, the love and danger that could be born by having them both in the same place with neither of them on Heaven’s side. The most logical option would be to cast Crowley out and make Aziraphale think he deserved it. Because Metatron is smart. He knew that keeping an angel like Crowley in Heaven—an angel who unapologetically asked questions and wasn’t afraid to go against the status quo, even before he fell—could only end badly. The smart move was to keep an angel like Aziraphale on—an angel who wants to believe, who needs to believe, that heaven is fundamentally right and good—and feed into his faith by manipulating his fear. 

(Editing to add- it’s presented as an either or. We will not send you to hell, we will wipe your memory and demote you. We will do A or B. This is why I think Gabriel’s story mirrors Aziraphale’s more than Crowley’s, because being cast down to hell and having your memory wiped was never on the table here. It’s either or.)

“Although as a kindness, your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. You will be demoted.”

“As a kindness, your memory of your time as Raphael will be erased. You won’t remember the Starmaker, you won’t remember the fall, you won’t remember the injustice. All you will remember is the war, the divine plan, God’s will and your undying faith to carry out that will. You will remember what not doing so costs, but you will never remember why. All you’ll remember is that you had better not ask, because look where that got the others. Oh, and you will be demoted to earth. You will not remember the incredible power you wield as an Archangel. Because if you hand power like that to someone with a powder keg of repressed questions it may spark an explosion, and we cannot afford that. Not again, Aziraphale.”

Now I want to talk about two specific scenes that relate heavily to this theory.

Before The Beginning

I think this memory has been altered, and there are two ways of looking at it.

Aziraphale remembers it just as shown on screen. 

But in Eden he genuinely seems as though he is meeting Crowley for the first time, and then when he introduces himself as ‘Crawley,’ Aziraphale consistently messes up and calls him that even after he changes it to Crowley. So I can deduce from that that if Aziraphale had known Crowley by another name for millennia before Eden he would very much struggle with remembering to call him Crawley to begin with. The fact that he doesn’t struggle at all makes me think that it truly is his first time learning this person's name, his first time meeting them.

Aziraphale does not remember this moment, it’s only shown to the audience for a season 3 payoff. 

But during the confession, Aziraphale says “like the old times, only even nicer.” re: Crowley becoming an angel again, which implies that Aziraphale remembers ‘the old times’ with him. He also says “I know the angel you were” during the Job scene. 

We are at a bit of a dead end here… or are we? A possible solution is that Aziraphale does remember ‘before the beginning,’ but that memory has been altered to remove Crowley’s involvement, à la Frozen (“I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic, to be safe… but don’t worry, I’ll leave the fun.”) The ‘magic’ in this instance being anything that would paint Crowley in a sympathetic light and the ‘fun’ being the actual events that transpired. That would also explain why he remembers it the way he does, aka why Crowley’s angel name is omitted and why he introduces himself as Aziraphale and not Raphael, but he still recalls the actual string of events. Because Aziraphale can’t just have large gaps in his memory. He has to actually remember the cold hard facts. Metatron is far too refined of a villain to leave holes in his soldiers’ minds, especially giant star-shaped love holes. Where was I going with this? Okay anyway…

So when Aziraphale says “like the old times, even nicer” he is not specifically referencing the Starmaker scene, but instead a more general ‘memory’ of Heavenly life, which makes total sense considering Aziraphale’s apparent blindness to the true detailed atrocities of Heaven. All he sees is the big picture anyway, that’s all he’s ever seen. Because… ‘even nicer’ ??? What do you mean NICER? A bureaucratic job will be nicer than watching the being you love build a universe?? Okay. 

Same goes for “I know the angel you were” from the Job scene. The wording is important here. He didn’t say “I knew the angel you were” or “I knew you in heaven.” It feels like he is a step away from saying “I know of the angel you were.” Which, in the context, makes sense. He is trying to use a personal plea as a last-ditch attempt to get Crowley to do what he thinks is right, he is not reminiscing on their time as besties. He’s already cycled through:

“You don’t have to do this!”

“You have free will!”

“I don’t think God wants this!”

“I don’t really think you want to either!”

And when Crowley asks “what do you know about what I want?” in that bitter tone, Aziraphale reads it as an in. He thinks a personal plea may be the thing to get Crowley to stop, so he uses it. It’s a tactic.

With all that in mind, I believe ‘before the beginning’ to be an altered memory. I believe that Aziraphale remembers the creation of the universe in general terms but does not remember the Starmaker or the feelings that were already beginning to take root inside of him. 

In The Beginning

I believe this to be an authentic memory, and if you look hard enough (aka are delusional and also insane) there are clues to support my ‘Aziraphale doesn’t remember' theory, starting with their first meeting.

Aziraphale does a few confused double takes (which, sure, could be interpreted as ‘oh fuck it’s you’ but I am choosing to not see it like that :)) and then politely smiles and laughs at what Crowley says before asking for clarification. This is absolutely giving ‘awkward first meeting with a stranger’ energy and not ‘oh fuck it’s my old bestie who is now damned.’ This is not a face of recognition, even fearful or reluctant recognition:

This is very much just giving ‘who the hell is this?’ Especially because it is then followed up with:

Aziraphale flat-out does not know who that is. He even closes his eyes for a second in what looks like confusion, as if he’s trying to remember. As if he’s trying to look where the furniture isn’t. And if I think he’s confusedly pursing his lips for a millisecond as if he wants to say a J name that’s my damn business.

They look sorrowful. I don’t know how I didn’t catch it the first few times I watched the show. This is the face of someone who just slithered up to an old friend and started having a chat as if it was the most natural thing in the world only for that friend to have no idea who they are anymore. Even as their face moves into a smile, it’s not real.

Babygirl looks like he’s experiencing the most haunting, ancient melancholia behind those lovely snake eyes. It’s actually quite striking. David Tennent you are on my hit list.

Anyway Crowley then goes on to question the ineffable plan in a way that’s very reminiscent of ‘before the beginning,’ which I believe to be intentional because they remember, and Aziraphale doesn’t. So Crowley is thinking to himself that maybe Aziraphale’s memory could be jogged with familiar behaviour. 

Crowley also goes on about the flaming sword, which I believe used to be theirs when they were the angel Jophiel, so the emphasis on it makes sense. 

They really said “what the fuck did you do with my sword?” But then when Aziraphale says he gave it away we get the most genuine display of emotion from Crowley that he’s shown during this entire sequence. 

He is impressed. He is remembering the angel who refused to exercise their celestial authority and got his memories stolen as a result. They are thinking there may still be hope after all.

Okay now let’s briefly talk about why I think Crowley does remember. I feel like this is a pretty easy one to get through as there are plenty of moments where Crowley references heaven and the fall in a very clear way, some of which I will drop right here:

All well and good, but one big question still remains: if Crowley knows, why the fuck did he not tell Aziraphale in six thousand years?

Well… why did Elsa not tell Anna about her powers? I know this analogy is a little silly and trust me I’m losing my mind right now, but hear me out. Elsa doesn’t tell Anna about her powers because she thinks it's in her best interest not to know. She thinks that knowing will put Anna at risk and that she will be to blame for that risk. Now look back on Crowley and Aziraphale’s history, terrible communication aside, they don’t tell each other things because they both think that they can handle it on their own and they both don’t want the other to be in danger. They both consistently hide important and dangerous things from one another. For example:

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale about the Hell Hound for 11 years

Neither of them realised that both of their team of human agents were Shadwell’s men

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale the details of his execution

Aziraphale didn’t tell Crowley that he met Shax on the way home from Scotland

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale that he got dragged to hell and offered a promotion from Beelzebub

Crowley didn’t tell Aziraphale about The Book of Life threat 

You get the point. It’s a pattern. And the details of the fall, stories from their distant past… these are lethal pieces of information. And we have to remember that both of them are essentially under constant surveillance. They never know when they’re truly alone or not, as we can also see with how much they side-step and rationalise their relationship away. They are both constantly terrified. Why would Crowley share information like this when they know how the acquisition of knowledge ended for the last group of angels? After all, Aziraphale wouldn’t like it in Hell.

Now there is also another very plausible explanation: Crowley is simply assuming that Aziraphale already does know and is following his perceived unspoken lead to never discuss it. Which again makes sense considering how fragile every aspect of their relationship is. It’s largely unspoken with a shared handbook of unspoken rules that they use to maintain the little bubble of companionship that they’re permitted to have. They have presumably never had a real conversation. So when would this ever realistically come up?

In conclusion, I need a lobotomy. But I want this to be true so badly as it does genuinely make sense in my sadly un-lobotomised little brain. As always, Neil Gaiman, I am in your walls. 

[vasito-de-leche]

What are your general headcanons of SAYU?

;NSR SAYU - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis about Sayu (+ the "Sayu Team") and other related things.

just a heads up! I don't see sayu as an AI even if the wiki lists her as such (the wiki also lists the sayu team as her creators which isnt. true???). to me, she's literally just tila's vtuber rig, so this post won't focus much on sayu as a "person" like the DJSS post!

I do have some in-depth HCs about it and stuff, but yeah! this was just the warning for ppl who don't like this specific portrayal of sayu

All of the marketing related to Sayu is meant to blur the line between fiction and reality.

Okay, okay bear with me for a second! This is gonna be a long one just to explain a single HC.

Sayu is meant to be an obvious homage to digital idols like Hatsune Miku, but whereas Hatsune Miku can be easily described as a voicebank and a very malleable character to play with when creating songs and different versions of her, Sayu doesn't have this advantage within NSR, since she originates from a videogame instead.

This means that while Miku can be a blank slate for people to do as they wish with her, it's harder to do with Sayu because she has an established, solid lore and personality within the game she comes from.

I like to think that, as rock (not just the music genre, but that specific mindset and all the subcultures and aesthetics that came with rock) began to fade out from Vinyl City, it was inevitably overshadowed by the complete opposite - cutesy, colorful and starry-eyed characters.

Doki Doki Mermaid Club was released during this transitional period within Vinyl City, and because it was brand new and so very different from what people knew, it became a hit. Like Kul Fyra, the citizens of Vinyl City became tired and their passion fizzled out. Instead of rock and its mentality of addressing serious issues, speaking against injustice, being loud, brash and so on, people were now drawn to the more chill, soft and pastel vibe this new genre brought.

And I like to think that NSR, specifically Tatiana, noticed that there was a lot of potential within parasocial relationships between idols and fans. But because Sayu was still tied to a game, they had to slowly force her out of it so she could go from "Sayu, from DDMC" to "Sayu, NSR's Megastar", if that makes sense.

This process would include buying the company behind the game and allowing it to simply disappear from the public's memory while Sayu's fame continued on growing. The rest of the characters were used to prop Sayu, as a way to profit from nostalgia, but once they outlived their usefulness, they were forgotten. The same thing that happened to Ex-Jay and all other rock bands prior EDM.

"But why would NSR go so far as buying a company just to let it die?" They canonically did that with smaller companies - in Akusuka, you can interact with Sayu Snacks and this dialogue confirms the lengths NSR is willing to go for success:

MAYDAY: I remember the day they bought over the tiny Vinyl City factory that made these. The mom-and-pop couple was so happy, but I kinda miss the packaging for Sheriff Bob's Barley Shots. ZUKE: Sayu-brand snacks… does Sayu even eat these? She's completely digital, right?

With this context, it makes sense to me that once Sayu established herself as a popular character, NSR would risk it all and hire a bunch of teenagers to ensure she continues being relevant.

This ensures Sayu's existence as an alleged "AI", she's as real as you and she's promoting your favorite snacks! She's cute and she lives in a huge tower where she hosts her concerts! She's Sayu and she loves you and she's also your internet provider! She's real because you can take pictures with her! She's REAL because her influence bleeds into every aspect of Akusuka.

MAYDAY: Hey! It's one of those picture booths I've heard so much about! This one even lets me pretend to take pictures with Sayu! Wait, why would I want that? ZUKE: I heard these things were once all the rage, but now, they've been relegated to only the Akusuka district...I guess we have Sayu to thank for that.

By allowing people to believe in Sayu as a person, NSR also makes sure to protect the identity of the unseen team behind her. It's two birds one stone, really. It's not unlike the way 1010 operates, with Neon J behind it all as a manager. Both of them profit from the exact same thing: allowing fans to obsess over made-up personas.

That's why implying Sayu isn't real is such a taboo within Akusuka - it destroys everything NSR worked so hard to build. But in the end, Sayu is still four people acting and keeping up with the façade because of their love for the character. That's why her mural in Tatiana's office only pictures her without the Sayu Team, unlike 1010's which has Neon J in the dead center.

The idea of turning Sayu into a proper, independent AI in order make better use of assets and resources hasn't been entirely shelved, however. But given Vinyl City's history with AI - that is to say, the fake background memories given to warbots - I think NSR would want to wait a little more to polish that plan before putting it into action, as a fully conscious and independent Sayu wouldn't be able to properly care for a whole district, and having her team of teenagers take the lead in administration would also be pretty fucked up.

And that leads me to my next headcanon!

Similar to Yinu, the Sayu Team has little to no power when it comes to managing Akusuka. They do, however, have full control over Sayu and how she's portrayed.

The reasons are the same as mentioned above - they're too young, lack knowledge and NSR would prefer to be the ones running the whole thing instead from the shadows, etc, etc. It's the same situation as Yinu.

But! To balance things out, though, the Sayu Team was given full creative control over Sayu - her design, her personality, the types of ads she'll be involved with, etc etc. This ensures that Sayu continues being relevant and "hip" with the newer generations, hence her popularity with younger kids and teens. The only reason she hasn't strayed much from her original conception is because all four members are very careful to respect Sayu's roots, being their favorite character and all.

I like to think Remi is the most protective when it comes to Sayu's image, his designs are always in-character for her and all potential collabs/crossovers with other franchises or whatever must go through him first to ensure she doesn't break too much character. I'd even argue that he could be the leader (or at the very least, the much more organized member) of the group, just based on that little moment of him staying calm and planning how to win against B2J while everyone else was panicking.

Tila and Dodo, while they both trust Remi's judgement, believe that broadening their horizons could be fun and better for them on the long run - Tila, as the heart of the group and the voice of Sayu, loves engaging as much as she can with fans, and Dodo just thinks it would be very cool to have Sayu in different media, like fighting games (though it's more of an excuse to show off his motion capture skills).

Sofa and Remi are also the members who care the most about the other mermaids from Doki Doki Mermaid Club. And while Sofa often insists for them to bring them all back somehow, Remi understands that their contract is most likely against it, so he's content just doing fanart for the group.

Since all of them are young and their designs are meant to represent introverted and geeky students, plus taking into consideration their demographic, I could see them use Sayu to speak a lot about important issues like bullying and mental health!

All four members are very close, obviously. But they're also very close to Yinu and her Mama!

This is partially because all adults agree that Yinu should interact with people her age - the thing is, the closest people to her age are the Sayu Team.

I like to think they've become sibling figures to her, and that they're all often lumped together during NSR events. There is also something to be said about Mama and how she just immediately takes the Sayu Team under her wing, since they don't have their parents around 24/7 to support them like Yinu does. Maternal instincts and all.

It's very surprising for citizens of Vinyl City to see Yinu and Sayu doing collabs together, as Sayu is often paired with 1010 due to their similar status as idols, but because of the team's friendship with Yinu, it never feels out of place. The Sayu Team did attempt to keep the myth of Sayu being a real AI, but Yinu was much too perceptive to even fall for it. Besides, she has much more fun composing and coming up with ideas with them than talking to a hologram.

When it comes to their dynamics with other Megastars, I'd say all of them are intimidated by Eve's strong presence - though Remi really looks up to her from an artist's point of view, and Tila admires her confidence. Dodo is a fan of Neon J and practices his dance moves in secret, something that all the other members tease him for. As for Sofa, I can see him asking DJSS about his creative process. The guy runs a club with sick effects, he wants to know how DJSS does it!

All four of them also like 1010, but are in different levels of denial about it, with Dodo openly gushing about his favorite bias (it's Purl-hew, he LOVES Purl-hew) and Remi seething, screaming and crying whenever someone notices that his drawing tablet has 1010 stickers on the back. Sofa and Tila are more in the middle, being casual fans but getting flustered and a little ashamed whenever someone brings it up face to face - they promise they're not like those deranged fans!

You know, like those teens who are into things that the media has deemed cringe and whatnot, so they feel they have to be a liiittle detached and mean about their tastes to avoid being criticized.

Regarding their backgrounds, I like to think that Remi and Tila didn't meet each other face to face until it was time to sign their NSR contract, while Dodo and Sofa went to the same highschool and are childhood friends who made amateur action movies together. It just clicks very nicely to me!

Aspects of the Sayu Team bleed into Sayu and viceversa.

It's small details, like Sayu's dominant hand perhaps being the same as Remi's, or Sayu's casual speech patterns during streams being somewhat similar to Tila's. Maybe her typical gestures are also things that Dodo is known for, and so on. All of it helps make Sayu feel more real to fans.

In turn, there are times in which the Sayu Team find themselves adding Sayu's popular catchphrases into their vocabulary entirely on accident, their wardrobes now full of clothes she would wear. I can also imagine Sofa and Remi having trouble separating their work screens from reality - you know, like when digital artists try to press ctrl+z when doing traditional art. Dodo's is the funniest by far, since he straight up has an idle animation taken from Sayu, but I'd argue that he's a very physical person and needs to be constantly moving somehow. Another contender for funniest slip up is Remi, who will just end up screaming "Pyun!" really loud when excited.

While fans only see the final product, the NSR staff can see all the love and effort that goes into Sayu just by looking at her team! Even Tatiana respects the way they've turned Sayu into their very own personal project, with that initial giddy energy that every content creator feels when starting out and seeing their work pay off.

Should Sayu ever become her own independent AI, I can see every Megastar come together to design a proper body for her.

The Sayu Team are, at the end of the day, a bunch of kids with a dream - their design is the priority, of course, but Neon J and DJSS would be the ones to tweak and work around it, doing their best to ensure proper mobility - both on land and within her streaming hub - and to add all necessary safety equipment. Neon J specifically would be the one to work on her AI, I'd say.

Yinu and Eve would ensure that the aesthetics aren't lost during the building process, finding ways of allowing Sayu to still be recognized by fans but with enough room for changes, should she require them for concerts or events.

I feel like the Sayu Team would prefer for Sayu to only have a single body, instead of endless ones to be replaced like 1010, and they would keep a back-up of her AI in a little pendrive (a nod to Monika from DDLC!). It just makes her feel more real!

And with Sayu being an actual, sentient AI working as a Megastar, I imagine this would pave the way for all the other robots who are fully sentient in Vinyl City to be acknowledged by everyone. So really, it's a win-win!

[ehlnofay]

Summerfest Day 5 - FORGOTTEN

At the foot of the Statue of Akatosh, there is a crumpled linen gambeson. Its fabric is pale pearly grey, still smelling ever-so-slightly of sulphur; the place where the sides tie at the front is torn and stained brown with old blood, and the quilting is spotted with mould. Sewn onto the chest with meticulously jagged stitches is a black cloth emblem of a wolf.

Every so often – when the Imperial City’s humid air leaves everything damp with dew for days on end, or when the rain patters down through the smashed-up roof – Jeelius takes to the cloth armour with hot water and lemon juice and spells it dry. He hadn’t done anything to it at first. No-one had done anything to it at first – still reeling, trying to understand what had happened and what it meant. Every cleric that served in the Temple of the One had been raised with it – if not physically, they’d heard stories of it since they were children – and it was jarring to have it so literally ripped away and apart, returned chewed up and spat out. (Even if it was a miracle. Even though it was a miracle.) No-one knew what to do with anything at all. The gambeson barely registered, until it rained.

Nowadays, when it rains, the water floods the Temple’s fractured hall and runs down the marble steps into the street. Poor J’mhad is stuck trying to figure out how to dry it all every time, several of the priests trying ineptly to help or just pressing themselves against the wall, shivering. When it rains, the water cascades down the statue and pours over the steps of the dais. The gambeson, tucked away between the claws of its foot and the stump of a marble pillar, is drenched every time. It was harder to ignore when it stank of must and mildew. It was ruining the Temple air and making the visiting worshippers sneeze. So Jeelius washed it.

And he’s kept washing it since.

They’ve talked about more sustainable solutions – an acolyte suggested getting rid of it – but Jeelius couldn’t stand the idea. It felt – wrong, somehow. The gambeson is part of this place; a memorial to whatever exactly happened here, before the golden dragon killed the devil and cleared the skies. It’s important. It belongs.

Maybe he’s being sentimental.

(He remembers collecting that gambeson from its hiding place in the bushes. Then, he watched its owner sponge it down with a care that felt incongruous with their gruff voice and hard-eyed face.)

Regardless, neither he nor Tandilwe would hear of its removal, so it stays. He’s never tried to clean off the blood – that, too, feels in some way disrespectful – but he wipes it down in the fashion he remembers watching all those months ago, keeping it fresh and free of dust and mould. It’s comforting, in its way. Another new little ritual.

There are a lot of new rituals. It’s rather a lot to adapt to. Jeelius was drawn to priesthood for its stability, for the comfort he found in rites and traditions as unchanging as the Nine themselves; for as long as he’s been in this vocation he’s been performing customs centuries old. The world changes so quickly – history compounding, moving inexorably onward – but faith stays still, a single thread remaining through time as all others snap and fray. This, at least, does not change.

Until it does. The Temple of the One has no roof anymore; moss grows in the cracks of the flagstones, so thick and springy that he feels it through the soles of his slippers. They still maintain the braziers that held the Dragonfires, but now more care is paid to the statue – not so much to its maintenance, since it is newer than the braziers by millennia and larger by multitudes, but to its overwhelming presence, its implications, the necessity of restructuring the physical space and activities of the Temple around it. J’mhad is petitioning for gutters to be put into the floor of the halls so that the rainwater has somewhere to drain to. No-one is eager to alter an ancient structure – but J’mhad points out, not unreasonably, that it’s a bit late to worry about that now, and that this minor renovation would preserve the stone from damage and erosion that would be far worse in the long term.

It isn’t just the place, either. Nothing is the same anymore. In the immediate aftermath, people are scrambling – the priesthood included; Jeelius speaks to hundreds of people in those first few days after who still have the smell of sulphur and ash in their hair, who tell him about barricading their doors and hiding out through that final attack, who tell him about friends and family who weren’t inside when it started or whose walls and windows weren’t strong enough. Jeelius says soothing things, like he’s supposed to – leads them through prayer, like he’s supposed to – hides his shaking hands under the skirts of his robe and doesn’t look anyone in the face and doesn’t fixate on his own helplessness when other people are trying to talk through theirs, selfish, like he’s supposed to. When the people he speaks to aren’t seeking counsel – or once they’ve finished asking for help – they gawk at the statue, ask is it truly an avatar of Akatosh, did it really fight off the Daedra, are they gone for good? Did Jeelius see it? Does he know for certain?

He wishes they’d stop asking. He doesn’t want to think about knowing for certain; he wants the same easy belief he had before any of this. He wants, like everyone, to go back to normal; he knows that nothing ever will.

(He didn’t see it. He was in Tandilwe’s cellar. He doesn’t actually remember any of it – all he knows, all he’s been told, is that he had a knife and Tandilwe couldn’t make him let go. If he was going to die he was going to die quickly.)

He tells the ones who ask that he didn’t see it.

No-one seems to have seen it, not in its entirety. The Avatar itself, bright as the sun and screaming gold, is a common enough story, but there are no witnesses of whatever happened in the Temple in the chaos preceding its arrival.

(There’s only a gambeson left on the floor.)

But Jeelius doesn’t think about it, because in those early days the Crisis isn’t really over, no matter what the Council says. Everyone is still lost in the terror of it, trying to scrape out some path back to living, to understand how to keep moving. (Jeelius stops sleeping. Too many people need his help, and he’s scared to close his eyes.) Everyone is waiting with gritted teeth or bated breath for the next attack.

But instead they receive word that the Gates on the roads are closed.

People who had been away from home and terrified to travel begin to return.

No matter how long they wait, the shoe never drops. Jeelius won’t say it, but by all that is holy, sometimes he wishes it would. The Oblivion Crisis defined the world until it didn’t, and now everyone everywhere is living without it and he doesn’t know how to do that anymore. An artist sketches out the scene of the Temple battle as seen from the window of an insula a district over, and when it’s printed as a wood-cut in the Black Horse Courier Jeelius sees a looming statue and the winking of a blade in the demon’s ink-lined face and has to sit behind a pillar until he’s breathing again. After he takes up the self-appointed duty of maintaining the discarded cloth armour, he finds that breathing in the smell of cut lemons is the only thing that will calm him down.

The worshippers stop being desperate and start being curious. It’s easier to help them, now, regardless of his feelings about it. Then come the pilgrims, to pray at the site of Akatosh’s avatar, of his great victory, with endless more questions, none of which Jeelius feels he is answering to their satisfaction.

Did you see Martin Septim? they ask. Did you witness his exaltation? After the last of the Septims is named a saint, they come to pay respects to him as well as Akatosh. They speak of him in such reverent terms as make the ridge of Jeelius’ spine stand on end – though it could well be deserved; he doesn’t know, he never met the man.

(He remembers a letter he saw scribed in Cheydinhal. Dear Martin, I’m abandoning you for another priest I found…)

The pilgrims have a lot of questions, but no-one asks about her.

It’s – odd, Jeelius thinks. He supposes it’s the environment – the people who travel here are here to see the statue. The avatar. They’re here for worship, not gossip. Only he hears talk from the other priests. Hears talk in the marketplace when he goes to run errands. Reads the Black Horse every week and shares news with the others in the Temple and talks through the end of the Crisis in excruciating detail with almost everyone who visits, and it never comes up. No-one is worried. No-one even wonders. It’s as though the miracle has erased them from existence, as though the Divine saviour overwrote the human one.

There’s not even a note in the missives, a brief mention in conversation: no news of the Hero of Kvatch. Jeelius keeps an ear out but there’s never any news of the Hero of Kvatch. Just a bloodstained gambeson to wipe down with water and lemons.

No-one is worried. Why would they be? What is there to worry about now that the crisis is over and done? But Jeelius looks at the blood and thinks of red-stained robes and haemorrhaging in the abdominal cavity. Everyone else might gaze up in wonder at the statue of the Avatar – indomitable, irreproachable, something more than flesh and blood – and praise it as their deliverer, but Jeelius’ saviour stole a toffee apple in front of him and called him names and travelled with him back to the Capital because he said he was afraid.

Jeelius’ saviour was a child. And they’re missing. And everyone knows – they have to. They knew all about her before. But now that there’s a miracle in the Temple district and no use for a hero…

Out of sight, out of mind.

The pilgrims keep coming, and with them come travellers who aren’t here for worship – just to see the avatar for themselves. Someone asks, once, if it’s real.

Jeelius keeps performing his duties, as ever; wringing his comfort from them as best he can, despite how different it’s all become. Twice a week, more depending on the weather, he lays the gambeson flat and sponges it with lemon water, then puts it exactly back where it was.

He still doesn’t know why it feels significant, but it is.

Maybe he wants to make sure he has it on hand, just in case. Just so he can return it, if they ever come back.

[bioshoook]

okay your ask inspired me so more AH asks for you: 1, 5, 8, 25, 34, 48, 51!! <3

Thank you for the questions Emrys :3

1) How did you get into AH?

Already answered, but I got into them by seeing a video somebody made on youtube with a bunch of other fandoms that were popular on Tumblr in 2014.

5) Favorite team?

Whatever the hell team name Trevor and Alfredo have now (tho Team Nice Dynamite is always right behind them in my heart)

8) Favorite AU?

Hmm favorite AU would have to be the Fake AH Crew AU just because of all the memories I have of messing around in that AU and all the great content that people have created using that AU. There's just so much to do when the characters you're playing with are literal criminals.

25) Has a video or specific moment ever made you emotional?

Not sure if this is for like sad emotional or happy emotional or whatever, but the first video I can remember off the top of my head that made me emotional in the sad way was when Meg had to host The Know after Monty passed away.

34) Have you seen the musical?

Yep I have! Watched the whole thing when it was mixed with the GTA video.

48) If you have one, who’s your favorite fic author or fan artist?

OOoohhh boy do I *cracks knuckles*

Since I know I can't narrow this down to like one author and artist I'm just gonna do a handful of the large amount of people that have created some of my favorite works and inspired me/influenced me with how I write.

So author wise I have to first give it up for @confusedeevee who without her I would most likely not be writing AH fanfic like I am today, plus she's an excellent beta, amazing writing partner and always helps me brainstorm when I need it and will listen to me rant and rave about all my au ideas even tho it's probably 3 am for her :') and her fics are out of this world, please go read them.

Next is @futureboy LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE who fed (and continues to feed tbh) my alfreyco cravings and has some of the best written dialogue out there and a head full of incredible ideas when it comes to writing! They just have some of the best writing out there and they're honestly killing it with the ST fics right now.

And since we're talking about Alfreyco (because how could we not am i right??) @jusst-you-wait is honestly really to blame for me still writing AH fic to this day, because this lovely alfreyco obsession of mine started when I read her Fake AH fic about Trevor and Alfredo investigating some abandoned building for Geoff and that's all she wrote. Also one of the best hype mans out there and such a great writer!

And I can't forget @shadeofazmeinya and @sorcererinthestars who also have some of the best fics out there in my opinion. And tbh I included both of them in one thing because one is not far from the other when it comes to fics and tumblr and there places in my HEART! Love these two so much and both have them have produced such fantastic work in this fandom and appreciate that every single DAY.

Ok now with artists unfortunately there aren't as many as there used to be in the ye olden days of the fandom, but that doesn't mean we don't have some excellent artists still!

Firstly is @keeningthoughts who without them I would not have the lovely alfreyco outlast fanart that I cry over almost daily and would not have known the joys of being in a server dedicated to a podcast co-lead by two very silly boys. Clay, your everchanging art style and the art you've drawn, no matter how silly, have always made me so happy when i see them on here or twitter :3

And then @ursifors who has created some of the most awesome art in this fandom. Just the way you draw the AH members (and Jeremy lbr) is so incredible and fun to look at. Your shading and the way you draw expressions are always the best. Like the way you nail people's faces is just 👌👌👌👌

51) Any videos, series, podcasts, etc. you’d recommend to new fans?

Would definitely recommend Red Web (how can I not?) if you're into spooky things and conspiracy theories, but for general AH stuff I would recommend Off Topic because that is always a good, tho sometimes chaotic, way to get a feel for the vibes at AH. As for videos, any Between the Games and Shenanigans videos are always great to watch. Series wise, there are always MC and GTA videos, which are CLASSICS even if they're older and Play Pals which is 👌. Always recommend those. Some more recent ones would be GMOD and 7 days to die. Also the Rage Quit anniversary video they came out like two weeks ago. That was an excellent video.

[kierreras]

i’m now rewatching first two seasons of obx in order to prepare for the new one and there is one thing that drawn my attention for this rewatch. i am pissed at how relationships were formed previously and i am so glad that we are getting slowburn with jiara because they are the healthiest canon (ish?) relationship that we could have in obx right now so, i love jarah. i really do, i think they simply click together. i am not a huge shipper because of the whole fastburn romeo-juliet kind of love not being my thing, but they simply work for me. still their beginning is not the healthiest. before they went to mainland together, we saw how john b reacted to sarah. one scene in particular stand out for me - when ward fired him after stealing scuba and he literally went and released his anger on sarah. which, let’s be honest, is really out of character for him. he threw away her bag of chips and the way he talked to her (or yelled at her?) was really bad. i understand that this was his job and he was convinced that it was sarah who snitched on him, but it does not give him a permission to act like that with any girl. also, when john b found out that ward knows about the gold and went to cameron’s - let me tell you if i was sarah i would have screamed. i know that after that there was no indication of such a behaviour from john b, but those two scenes totally imprinted in my memory.  moving on to pokie, where do i start? first of all, you cannot guilt force someone into a relationship. and i honestly think that this was guilt-forced from both sides. pope was the one who acted so salty for no reason. when you are rejected, you are rejected. you can feel all the emotions you need, but you can’t be mad at another person for simply not feeling the same way. yes, rejection in such a young age sucks, but processing the rejection by painting another person as a villain cannot be okay. from kie’s point of view, i can see her clenching to pope because she has just lost her best friend and she could not lose another one. was it healthy to cope this way? totally not, but it could be justifiable.  i am not so negative on them having sex. it was unnecessary, yes, but it is realistic. because you know that it’s not working, your relationship does not make you happy, so you go full on, trying for it to work. using sex as a last straw to make it work. and breaking up after first time is so real. every friend i know broke up with his first time partner. and it’s okay, this is how life works.  however, again being petty and playing on guilt is not justifiable.  i am even going to start with sarah/topper because topper is just a massive red flag. so, moving to two couples that were left out of this list? jiara and cleope. listen, there is only one scene with jiara that i treated as scene with toxic vibe and i know that many people would not agree with me. however, there is a scene where jj shakes her shoulders near the car in one of the last episodes of season two, i don’t like it. i just don’t like when there is an angry touch involved. and i know that it could be interpreted as jj’s inability to show emotions in stressful situations because of his abusive childhood, but it wasn’t on my mind when i first saw this scene.  other than that, there is no single scene that i interpreted as kind of a red flag. the way writers handled them, their silent communication, the way they care about each other. their banter is always light and the only time they were accusing each other was during their incident with pope’s camera. still, jj yealling “why are you always taking his side? why are you never on mine?” doesn’t sound like he is angry at kiara, it is just him feeling hurt, that’s all. so jiara could potentially have healthy start which not many obx ships had, just saying. as for cleope, i am sure they are going to be sweet and their second-love trope has so much potential by default. also, no past is hanging above their head for now, no family drama, so they potentially could have a very healthy story of healing broken heart and falling in love again. and i’m here for it.

[ofallplaceswhythis]

tcoptp thoughts pt.10

im skipping im skipping im skipping im skipping im-

Chasity..... i am trying so hard and i may be biased but.....

....omg, thats why - its all connecting. holyyyyy fuckk

So nice that tomny and tonya decided to send him his very own guitar for his birthday!! theyre such good friends [delusion :( ]

Sirius and Remus' friendship is so overlooked in this fandom its so sweet there is a reason they are friends to lovers guys

james's hatred towards antlers and remus's face covered in chocolate need to be drawn where is the fanart

SHIT THE SEX TAPE?????? WTHHH

LILY TOLD JAMES SHE LOVED HIM?!?!?! gosh the gossip - and they're fictional

Y'know what snape, you are just a coward who hides behind words in order to get his way, and you have no real friends because, guess what, YOU'RE A DISGUSTING PERSON. And literally nobody cares about you and you will die alone with my knife in your stomach regretting every single action in your entire pitiful existence as I watch the life leave your eyes and constantly remind you that the only reason you had survived this long was because you were such a disgusting person that nobody could get near you without projectile vomiting on your head, which may be the reason why your hair is so greasy. You are meaningless like a mosquito and you will perish not only physically but from memory as well because as soon as you are dead literally no one will care about you. You are that boy that rips apart insect limbs from their bodies and you will meet your demise. No matter what your backstory is that does not justify the abuse you caused and thus you will suffer the consequences. You will die by a poison coated blade and be it whoever it is there will always be the sound of laughter and fireworks that will soon follow after your corpse is disposed of. The only way you will be able to survive is if we bury you alive with worms eating your body and your screams reverberating of the cold, concrete walls, knowing that you will never be found again. The world will become a better place as soon as you are gone from it.

aww they're all so cute <3333 ily lily

REMUS HAS A CRUSH ON SIRIUS PINING'S COMING FUCK

And with that, the first half of the fanfic comes to a close. [👏👏] [ literally had to pace for a few minutes]

ily wolfstar but i just feel so bad for marlene. Im sorry girl :(

And immediatly starting with angst. fucking amazing [WHY TOM]

'where we're going? it aint home' and why dont i just FALL ON MY SPEAR LIKE A ROMAN WHOSE OBSESSED WITH SACRIFICING THEMSELF. UGH. WHYYYYYYYYY

Them not picking up the phone when Tonya leaves but picking up the phone after Remus does is just - holy fuck

ughh remus why do you have to say stuff like that

Remus's queer panic is honestly a mood

no wait whats happening. ...did they just break up...?

why get into a car accident when you can just read Tonya's letter?

tell me a story is really starting to sound like tell me a secret and i am not ready to handle that kind of mentality at this time

sirius are you hearing urself 'ill never leave you' typa shit

ok the mutual pining is about to commence and i am not ready

[tsuki-sennin]

A victory lap! One final issue with our heroes before the end! Our foe? Daijarg! Our mission? Protect the world one last time! And after that...?

Episode 50 of Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ikuyo!

-One last time hearing this theme for the road...

-You've come such a long way from being an unusually athletic girl, huh Sora-chan?

-You've explored the surface world, battled monster after monster, made many unforgettable friends and memories along the way...

-And even when you wavered, you still kept your friends and family at the forefront of your mind.

-And uh... while I'm here, I might as well get my nitpicking outta the way.

-Uhhhhhh, I would've preferred if the villains all interacted with one another a lot more than they did, Captain Shalala's cool but a little underutilized, the supporting cast in general's just kinda... there a lot of the time...

-...that's it, really. I've gotten quite literally everything else I could've wanted from this season.

-Anyways, enough about me, FINAL BATTLE TIME WOOOOOO

-Spin that dangernoodle!

-You give a bad name to sneks everywhere.

-To you, dear Underg Generals... thank you!

-Not a form left to our names!

-OH FUCK INSERT

-This is everything

-One more time! For truth, justice, and a better tomorrow! Hirogaru Change~!

-Hirogaruuuuuuu

-Sekai Puuuuuuuuuuunch!

-"The only real power comes from inside, Skearhead! From courage, honor, and other things you wouldn't understand!"

-Precure! Majestic Halation!

-Now you understand your failure. Find peace in the next life, Skearhead.

-Hooooooome~!

-Hooooooly shit!

-Awwwww, Kaizerin...

-Adooooorable~!

-"Sorry. Comms filled atm."

-Peace and love for Skyland and Underg~!

-See, doesn't that feel nice?

-Hello, Captain Shalala! ...sorry I thought you were gonna pull a Nolan Grayson however many episodes ago.

-Beryberie... In another life, you'd have been one of my favorite Cures.

-Oh, the schoolmates too!

-...this is embarassing, but uh... I done forgot about you guys...

-D'aaaaawwww... Mashiron's gonna miss her husband~! Well, don't you worry.

-There's no such thing as goodbye forever, is there? Not when there's Transdimensional Technology~! Just uh... be careful not to accidentally unleash Weirdmageddon or something and we'll all be grand.

-God, it is so weird seeing Elle dwarf Tsubasa round the clock now.

-Never say that to me again.

-That's our town of Sorashido.

-...how very fortuitous of Sora to end up here, I just realized.

-Hmm.

-Our beloved Hero notebooks.

-Suppose we're gonna see you around, Granny Goodness. Er uh... Yoyo-san, sorry.

-My one regret is that I did not continue to lay down the Skyward Sword jokes, you'd have made a fantastic Impa.

-"I knew you were good kids the first time I saw you. :)"

-Hug your daughter, Mashiron.

-Auntie Ageha too~!

-Tsubasa-kun's got lunch...

-The Borb Sage...

-Oh???

-Yeaaaaaaah!

-Buddy, I say you're on your way.

-Off the princess and her retainer go.

-"So... like..."

-"Nah."

-142 TIMES

-MY GIRL REALLY TRACKED EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE OF HER HOLDING ANOTHER GIRL'S HAND BRO-

-Oh of course you're joking. You forgot a few digits, didn't you?

-"My hero..."

-Reviews in for Nijigaoka-sensei's latest picture book.

-"Charmingly written, beautifully drawn, exceptionally daring. Delightfully reaffirms everything one might love about their favorite superheroes. Hirogaru Sky makes its mark as one of the finest its esteemed lineage has to offer."

-Oh, hi!

-It's you assholes again, I see!

-Ageha Jumpscare

-Oh shit, the first ED again!

-Man...

-I'm exceptionally happy I got to enjoy this season.

-I suppose we'll see you all again sometime soon.

-Cure Sky jumps into action!

-WAN

-Cure Wonderful~!

-...I was gonna fucking use that name, but that's okay~!

-Now it's time for me to pack up and move to Animal Town... wherever that is... See you all on Feb 4th, I suppoooooooose~!

[mywifeleftme]

16: Twinkeyz // Alpha-Jerk

Alpha-Jerk Twinkeyz 1979, Plurex

The Twinkeyz were a late ‘70s Sacramento garage rock band orbiting guitarist/singer/songwriter Donnie Jupiter. They cut a couple of singles in '77 and '78 and the Alpha-Jerk full-length in '79. The LP apparently suffered from mixing and mastering issues, and it disappeared virtually without a trace, taking the band with it. Jupiter would spend some time in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s playing bass in the even more obscure act Lizards, while also building a career in comics under his birthname Don Marquez. The Twinkeyz’ faint legend lingered though; their debut single “Aliens in Our Midst” is a regular on gay punk compilations, and they’re occasionally cited as a forerunner of queercore acts like Pansy Division.

The Twinkeyz were a B-movie Velvet Underground, laconic, witty rock and roll sweatered in primitive synth warbles and (to quote Scott Miller of Game Theory) “enough guitar effects to stun an elephant.” The lead guitarist (presumably Jupiter) is often the only one who seems more than minimally competent, and (although the songs on Alpha-Jerk were drawn from different sessions) the mix uniformly sounds like it’s thudding from a blown speaker. If the choice to self-produce robs Alpha-Jerk of a professional sheen, they also get to do a lot of stuff most producers wouldn’t allow. Nearly every track is studded with odd noises and found sounds, giving it a hand-made texture that suits the peculiarity of the music.

As with Suicide’s Alan Vega, the thing that makes Jupiter’s blunt songwriting distinctive is that it feels like an indoor kid’s idea of cool teenage music. “Strange Feeling” approximates then-current new wave pop, but the flatness of its affect seems to imply having feelings at all is the strange part; “Sweet Nothing” pulls the archetypally dumb garage move of ripping off the title (and nearly the melody) of a more well-known song, like they were trying to recreate “Oh! Sweet Nuthin’” from memory after dad broke their copy of Loaded over his knee. The lyrics about love, UFOs, psychic powers, and cartoons are obviously cute, but sometimes a sick sense of humour peeps through. Referring to weird psych as “bad drug” music in a well-worn cliché, but it’s the right description of “Alpha-Jerk,” a discordant dirge that could be about a kaiju or the Book of Revelations. The noises in the mix resemble the work of a crow leaving shiny bits and bobs on a tombstone.

It's all very good stuff for anyone with a taste for wimpy garage rock, but “Aliens in Our Midst” stands hips and knees over anything else here. The lyric cleverly mixes yarns about literal aliens with uncharacteristically direct anecdotes about queers and weirdos who “turn out okay” despite shitty circumstances, creating an anthem that is sentimental, bleakly funny, and ultimately hopeful in the exact ratio I adore. The campy call and response vocals in the chorus, Plan 9-ass guitar tone, subtly counterintuitive riff… it’s the stuff abductions are made of.

16/365

Sidebar: Cartuneland.com, the bizarre website of Donnie Jupiter (AKA Don Marquez)

As noted, Jupiter/Marquez mostly switched to illustration after the collapse of the Twinkeyz, and he's still selling his art on eBay. His own site, Cartuneland.com, is bewildering and uncanny in the way webpages end up when a brand outsources its content management to an overseas SEO firm. Samples of his fantasy paperback-style art are interspersed with bland stock photography, and the structure of the site is clearly based on a corporate template—only Marquez isn’t advertising himself as a freelancer, and the site isn't connected to his eBay page. The contact and social links are variously empty or broken, and the links to his past comics direct to Wayback Machine-captures from an Angelfire-era version of the site the artist probably built himself.

Strangest of all is the blog which, shockingly, has two posts this month alone—both of them about the Bodhran, an Irish hand drum. Of the six total posts on the blog as of this writing, two of them are interviews with Marquez. The others are ChatGPT-quality posts about general topics in music (e.g. “Connecting literature to art”; “What is a tin whistle?”) and a peculiar first-person story about learning to play the flute, all credited to someone named Rachel George. The idea was probably to pad out the blog with keyword-laden content to help the site become more visible to search engines, but to what end? Is Marquez really all that bent on becoming the most visible hit on “Don Marquez music” or “Bodhran for beginners”? You wouldn’t be able to tell from the interviews, which feature terse answers from the former Twinkey, such as:

Q: Many of your creations are based on classic horror and sci-fi films from the 1950s.

DM: I wasn’t trying to be retro.

Q: What’s missing from the current cinema that makes old films so memorable?

DM: Horror is a broad genre. Horror is a vast genre.

What we’re looking at here is most likely a Fiver contractor’s unfinished attempt to turn Jupiter’s website into a place to sell his original art, but as it stands it’s an oddly perfect web presence for a 73-year-old garage micro-legend and purveyor of swords ‘n’ tits fantasy. If anybody finds Question Mark’s Livejournal, please drop a link in the comments. And Donnie, if you're reading this, get in touch and I will fix your website for cheap!