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smallerplaces · 10 months

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2023 in review 1: the great decluttering of Mom's collection

These are the survivors of the early-year decluttering of Mom's vast, vast, vast doll collection, plus culling from my own much smaller collection. If you've watched my photos of new acquisitions, you know that since getting the place decluttered, I've been buying for myself at an unsustainable rate -- but I've lucked into like 90% of my wish list, and the other 10% may never show up.

That's a story for another day. This part of 2023 in Review is about decluttering. A couple of preliminary notes:

My own collection has varied in size since it started in 2012, reaching about 100 at its peak. My interests have also changed a lot over that time. When I moved to California to live with Dad and declutter the family home, I brought maybe 30 dolls at the outside.

Mom loved dolls, inundated me with dolls when I was a kid, and bought more dolls as an adult, and the brakes really came off in her sixties. I see nothing at all wrong with having whatever size collection you want! She enjoyed her collection, and then I got to deal with it because everyone else in the family stared in awe, muttered about how it must be worth a fortune, and then sloped off to do more important things than identify and sell dolls.

Let me tell you what confronted me here in California.

Sewing room lined with shelves (including small shelves two deep!) filled with dolls. This room was heavily My Twinn and "collector" dolls. I do not consider dolls creepy, but I maintain it's creepy af to have My Twinn dolls that look exactly like daughters one has gone NC with.

Extra bedroom completely filled with dolls and dollhouses, to the point that most things were on rolling shelving units like a library. When I first sorted dollhouses, I'd tentatively kept about six that had been on my wish list.

Guest room (now my room) with two cabinets full of Vogue Ginny and Madame Alexander Dolls of the World, floating shelves loaded with stuffed animals, and every piece of furniture stuffed with doll clothes. (There was space to unpack solely because one of my sisters had cleaned out half the guest room closet by chucking it all into the extra bedroom. This was the only way she could have done it!)

Linen cupboard "folding counter" completely covered with dolls and bears.

Additional doll clothes in boxes in Mom's bedroom closet and in trays in all the furniture there. Also additional dollhouses.

Small cabinet of dolls in the dining room (plus multiple large dollhouses!).

Dad's count had been that Mom had 834 dolls (not counting dollhouse residents), and with things I found in cupboards, I'd make it a round 1000.

Here's where you say, "This must have been an incredible collection!"

One big lesson from working my way through all this is that, if a doll was a bargain on eBay when Mom bought it, it's probably not worth that much now. This includes most things made in the name of Ginny or Effanbee after 1980, as well as anything pitched to "collectors."

Never collect collector's items.

A second one was that Mom loved dolls with strung limbs but had so many bajillions of them that nobody kept track of whether the string was still strung. If it were a couple of dolls needing restringing, Dad would have done if for me. But when I pulled Ginny dolls off their shelves and dozens of them explode in random limbs... it's too much.

At the beginning of the process, I spent hours on identifying dolls and trying to figure out how to eke out money from every single doll. By the end, I knew at a glance what wouldn't sell and was shoveling entire cabinets of dolls into the donate bag.

Yes, I know thrift stores don't sell all donations. But (a) I've literally seen dolls I donated in the store; and (b) this is honestly not a loss to the doll world if they don't. No matter how pretty a 1980s Effanbee in a fancy dress, with loose limbs, is, her value on the market is close to zero. Dolls in good enough condition to donate got a chance at finding an appreciative thrifter. Some got sold or given away on FBM in large lots instead.

The number of dolls individually sold on eBay was a small fraction of the total -- after the first couple months, it was dolls I found fun to pose, photograph, and list, or else they had to be worth more than $30. The ones I remember most fondly as selling projects were the Kelly dolls (at least 100) and the Madame Alexander Travel Friends (who are adorable, and I had some when they were new, but they never fit well with my fashion dolls).

All stuffed animals got donated. Life is too short to figure out what drugstore bear is what.

Didn't you want to keep dolls because they were Mom's?

Yes and no.

On that size of collection, sentimentality ultimately doesn't mean much. If it's all Mom's Treasures, none of it is terribly meaningful. If I'd been 100% sure that certain dolls were ones from her childhood that I remembered, I might have kept them -- but I wasn't.

Mom's tastes were also mostly different from mine. She was highly influenced by Toy Box Philosopher, in a sort of hate-buying way. She'd inevitably buy whatever Emily was touting, while complaining about Emily's tastes, buying level, etc. I don't know! So a lot of dolls in the 18" to 24" range showed up, and I have no interest in those sizes.

She also went whole hog for sulky 8" collector dolls (Madame Alexander and Ginny), which I can't stand. Again, if I'd been 100% sure I'd found my Ginny from when I was a kid, I might have kept it. But when there are five dolls that could be that doll... eh. (The experience also unearthed for me how much I resented having been pushed, as an impressionable child, to pretend to like older-style dolls better than Barbie. There was literally a lot to unpack here.)

That all said, in dealing with fashion dolls in the Barbie-Bratz size range, I'd been setting aside dolls I thought I might want to keep, so my one bin under the bed expanded temporarily to two.

I sold most of the tin litho dollhouses as a lot to a collector.

Was there a process for decluttering?

Grab a thread and pull.

Seriously, every organized method i tried fell apart on volume and identification. I did my best work in fits of spite, where I could get through an entire section of shelves without deluding myself that if Mom had liked a doll, it must be worth cash money.

I set myself the goal of finishing within a year of when I'd moved in here (May 2022) and I beat it by a full month.

Did you enjoy any of this experience?

In selling the dollhouses and some of the Playmobil, I consistently met delightful buyers who were so excited to get a bargain. One of my happiest afternoons was sitting with two buyers and a box of furniture and accessories that I was letting them have free or cheap, listening to them be delighted over items I'd ceased to care about. This whole process has surely done something to boost dollhouse love among a younger generation. I met a number of lovely people as repeat buyers or freebie takers, too. And the son of one of Dad's friends is now the Playmobil Tycoon of his kindergarten.

Photographing vintage playsets was fun, and those buyers were nice enough.

The Kelly collectors are adorable.

One My Twinn buyer told me about how she chose that doll because it reminded her of a childhood friend. There was also a buyer of over 100 vintage dollhouse dolls who was charming and saved me so much listing and shipping time.

All this stuff is out in the world, giving more joy than it could possibly have given to me alone, even if I'd liked more of it.

How did you get from two bins under the bed to the four dolls and three pets in the photo?

So I got to the end of the big room-clearing. I could, at that point, have called it done, left the dolls under the bed for later, and moved on with life.

However, I decided I needed to tackle whether I was even going to do dolls any more. So I pulled out the bins and asked myself what I'd consider a comfortable, non-stressful amount to keep. The number 20 popped into my head. I don't recall whether that total was meant to include 4" dolls or not -- I've gone back and forth on that -- but 20 was a good number.

I culled down to 20 with surprisingly little difficulty. For the most part, I don't remember what I got rid of, so I guess I wasn't all that committed to my own collection by then!

The deal was that those 20 went on shelves for display. If I didn't engage with a doll over a reasonable period of time, it would leave. If I wanted to buy something new, something old had to leave.

Within a couple months of my buying Simply Fresh Kylie, virtually all of the retained 20 had left, in favor of dolls I was finding more interesting to acquire, restore, or customize.

The survivors are:

Fashionista Teresa, who I'd found at a thrift store and given to Mom for a birthday.

Manbun Ken, my grail doll from the TRU going-out-of-business sale.

Articulated Kelly, who was a long-time grail doll from Mom's collection and makes a good body comparison doll. I'd originally intended to trade her in for a different doll from the same line, but she grew on me.

Scarlet the Sparkle Girlz Mini, who I bought in Connecticut.

Vinyl dog and white tiger from Mom's collection, because they're cute.

Felted dog from Target because I was totally taken with those when I bought it.

What I learned was that I'm happiest with a leaner, more focused collection, where I have space and time to make clothes and furniture for them.

A later recap will discuss the dolls I've bought this year, which was definitely a pace I won't be keeping up in future years!

#fashion dolls #dollblr #decluttering #year in review #doll year in review

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moremaybank · 2 years

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being the youngest mikaelson (maybe 15) and the boys being overprotective of reader and being close with Rebekah? (fem reader pls)

being the youngest mikaelson while having the boys be overprotective of you & being close with rebekah

warnings: slight violent themes (violent threat mentioned)

mikaelson siblings masterlist

being the youngest of the mikaelson siblings pretty much means that you're the child of 5 disastrous co-parents

like the time they ALL forgot about you being at school

"niklaus, you were supposed to pick up y/n from school today"

"need i remind you that i have my own actual offspring to take care of? why not ask kol, elijah? all he does is sit on his arse all day"

having to let them know your whereabouts if you don’t want them following you around the whole day

and i don't mean a text saying "at the st. james infirmary"

i'm talking full-on coordinates you got off google from pinpointing your exact location

okay, let's talk about the guys

they're all at different levels of insanity so we'll break this up

klaus: level 100

you've almost been daggered for wearing a backless dress

and for "sneaking out" (even though all you did was walk outside the compound to say hi to one of your friends that was just passing by)

don't even get me started on the look on his face when he walked into your bedroom to find you making out with your significant other without telling him

"you know, if i wasn't immortal i bet this would kill me. my littlest sister being deflowered right in front of my eyes"

"you are literally the most dramatic person on earth. deflowered? it's called kissing. and we all know you've done far worse. is your child's existence ringing any bells?"

he's always the first one to threaten any potential suitors

“if you hurt our sister in any way, your death will be spectacular. i can assure you that”

“can you relax? this is literally our first date”

now let's move onto elijah

elijah: level 50

he's the most level-headed of all the mikaelson brothers so he's not thaaat bad

he doesn't lose his mind about you unless he really has too

like that one time he caught your ex cheating on you

man went berzerk

he compelled your ex to the priesthood/nunhood (ok, he got this idea from klaus & although he's not proud of it, he has no regrets)

he's the one who's always pestering you for your location updates (especially when you started going out without your very own mikaelson-sibling bodyguard)

"you informed me that you were going to rousseau's, but i tracked your cellphone & it seems to be showing me that you're in texas. care to explain?"

look, i didn't say you made things easy on them, did i?

you're a mikaelson for god's sake

it's in your very nature to deceive your siblings and do your own thing

lastly, let's discuss kol

kol: level 1-100

the man is his own kind of unhinged if we're honest

he's super chill & then two seconds later he's lost his damn mind

"you snuck out without informing me?! are you insane?!"

*two seconds later*

"bring me next time, though. i wouldn't mind sneaking out at 2am to get drunk either"

he escorted you to a school dance once (mostly because he saw one of your teachers before and thought they were hot)

which didn't suck

it was definitely better than having klaus as your escort

but nevertheless, it did suck when he compelled anyone who wanted to dance with you to get out of his face

brothers

actually, can i rephrase that?

1000 year old, original vampire/hybrid brothers

your sisters are the best though, so let's chat about them

they aren't as overprotective because they understand the whole "independent woman" thing

rebekah always helping you with your hair & makeup when you go to fancy events or you’re going on a date

she compels random women from the street to try on the outfits you're debating so you can choose

fighting over shoes with them (mostly rebekah, she can never peacefully part with her loubitins)

freya puts a special spell on you to ensure your hair & makeup stay in place all night when you have events to go to

going out for mani/pedis with rebekah and freya

extravagant shopping sprees with one sister on each arm

rebekah and freya being your hype-women

being able to talk to them about anything & everything with them

sister spa days

binge-watching current tv shows/movies with your sisters and singing along to your favourite disney movie songs with them

#klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #klaus mikaelson imagine #rebekah mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson imagine #freya mikaelson imagine #the originals #the originals imagine #the vampire diares imagine #the vampire diaries #tvd universe #tvdu #the originals headcanons

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bangtanfanficarchive · 3 years

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Namjoon NSFW ABCs

Well, I suppose now I don't have to ask you all who you would like to see next because after posting my first NSFW ABC list, you all literally requested every other member! I'll be working my way through those requests throughout tonight and tomorrow. I hope you enjoy them.

The Namjoon ABC smut list was requested by a whole bunch of folks. I hope you like this! Thanks for your asks!

Happy reading!

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Immaculate aftercare. Truly top tier. He is so serious about checking in and caring for you when all's said and done. Makes you drink your water and take a bath no matter how jelly legged you might be. Even though cuddling isn't really his thing, he will do it for as long as you want and need. You won't hear a peep of complaint from him. Lots of praise and little kisses while you're coming down.

B - Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

A bonafide boob guy. His and yours. Dude just really likes a good rack.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Obsessed with making a mess of you but is also completely content to come down your throat.

D - Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Namjoon just wants to dominate in the bedroom. He's got a strict set of rules and isn't opposed to punishing you if you break them.

E - Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Has experience for sure but not extensively, I don't think. The things that he really craves require a certain level of trust that can only be built up over time so I'd imagine he has experience but only with a few long-term partners. Still, he definitely knows what he's doing.

F - Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves to hit it from behind but you didn't hear that from me.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Almost never goofy, I'd say. It generally doesn't seem to be in his nature to be a huge goofball, but aside from just that I think he's just pretty intense when it comes to sexual encounters. Even if it's a more vanilla night, he'll still be full of intense eye contact and that gravelly voice.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I'm going to say he probably keeps a pretty close trim.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

My god he is so connected and in tune. Not necessarily all of the time though. Doesn't really strike me as someone who is overly-romantic in a sexual context or needs every encounter to be special per se. Sometimes an itch just needs to be scratched. But other times? Practically tantric. Intimacy levels off the charts. Eye contact turned up to 1000.

J - Jack off (maturbation headcanon)

Joon actively tries to enjoy himself and considers it self care. Doesn't consider it a second-best to having a partner and can get very turned on by mutual masturbating.

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Overstimulation and orgasm denial. Daddy kink for days. May not prefer to be called Daddy, but yup. That's what it is. Will take a nurturing, loving, but also stern approach with his sub. Has rules and they will not be broken ✨or else✨

See also: Kim Namjoon is one (1) kinky bastard.

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere and everywhere. There isn't one surface at his office or either of your homes that hasn't been entirely defiled. Oh, and isn't opposed to a little Skype action while on the road. His partner has probably indirectly led to the defiling of dozens of hotel rooms to date tbh.

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

His own pleasure first, but his partner's as a close second. Pretty selfish when in the middle of an exceptionally good fuck tbh

N - No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No pet play or age play. He may like to take on a more nurturing role, but he doesn't like the inherent power imbalance that comes with either of those.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Unskilled but certainly not unwilling. And as far as how he likes it, the sloppier the better baby. Get ready for some throat fucking.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Rough, but not fast. Everything Namjoon does is highly intentional.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Any time y'all can fit one in honestly. I'm talking cars, hallways, dressing rooms, his studio...there have been several near-scandals in the past. 😜

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Would risk it all to get his dick wet tbh. A regular horn dog imo, if you haven't caught on by now😂. Absolutely willing to experiment and try anything that his partner is open to, and in any setting.

S - Stamina

I have a feeling he probably isn't able to go a super long time, but he recovers fast and can go rounds to make up for that fact.

T - Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Owns toys. Uses toys. Loves toys. Anything that can be used to torture or pleasure a partner, he's got a nice collection.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He is absolutely a tease in every sense of that word. Loves to work his partner right to the edge and then keep them there for hours, under penalty of punishment. Orgasm denial and overstimulation are the name of Namjoon's game.

V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not overly loud but growly and rumbly for sure.

W - Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Probably the only one of the bunch that I could see maybe having a 24/7 dom/sub dynamic tbh. Like I see him wanting a partner who wouldn't mind being his footstool if he wanted them too. But then he'll turn right around and lavish them with the best and most luxurious things a person could ever imagine. He's got that ✨duality✨ that's for dang sure.

X - X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hung like a freaking horse, ladies and lads. Like, one of those dicks that really makes you go 👀holy shit how is that going to fit.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Pretty much the highest sex drive a person can have while still being a contributing citizen. Anytime is a good time in his eyes.

Z - Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not very soon after. He's very intent on taking care of his partner - after a scene, especially - and it definitely helps him cool off as well. Puts in at least a good couple of hours of aftercare before finally knocking out for the night.

#bts fanfic #ao3 fanfic #bts imagine #bts imagines #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts namjoon #namjoon smut #bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #i have no queue what i'm doing #bts smut #namjoon headcanons #bts headcanons

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ashdumpsterpile · 3 years

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ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do) by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses.

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this.

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up.

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust.

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend. Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.)

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.)

________

#lmao follow for more fic recs #ash recs #ash's rec list #ash recs fics #tma fic list #tma fics #jmart #jmartin #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tma fic recs

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jeongvision · 3 years

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before i request i'd like to say CONGRATS ON 1000 FOLLOWERS BABE!! your writing is some of the best i've seen on tumblr and i'm looking forward to all your future work.

anyways!! here's the request:

mark + roommates! au + "did you just slap my ass?"

- @markleesflathead :-)

pairing. mark lee ✗ fem! reader

genre. fluff, humor, roommate au

warnings. mild cursing, not proofread

author’s note. PFFT I LAUGHED SO HARD AT YOUR REQUEST HAHAHA I LOVE IT! and thank you so much, babe! hope you enjoy this blurb <3 it’s slightly based on a true story haha

“Y/n…” Mark called.

“Hm?” You looked away from your computer screen and faced your roommate. He stood in your doorway, dressed in grey sweats and a plain white tee. He must’ve just ran his hand through his hair, dark strands pointing in several different angles.

He cleared his throat before adjusting the glasses on his nose. “What.. is that?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What is what?” You pushed yourself away from your desk and swiveled in your chair to the direction of your roommate, arms crossed against your chest.

“That thing that’s sitting next to you.”

“You mean my tablet?” You grabbed your tablet off your desk and showed it off to him. “Johnny bought me this for Christmas, remember?”

“No, not that,” He points next to you. “The one with stripes.”

You followed his line of sight, your eyes landing to the one in question. ‘Wait… is he being serious right now?’ you asked yourself. You huffed out a breath. “You’re kidding, right?” you asked. However, the latter in front of you stays immobile, waiting for you to speak further on the mysterious figure that sat besides you. This whole exchange left you incredulous that you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Mark, that’s my goddaughter. I’m babysitting her for my friend.”

Your best friend recently got promoted at her office after months of strenuous work hours. While it was certainly great that she obtained a higher position and pay, it demanded more of her time away from home. Until she finds a qualified babysitter or a family member available to watch her daughter, she asked for your time when possible. Today was one of your free days— the only thing you had to get done was researching for your final project.

Your goddaughter was an absolute sweetheart. The moment her eyes laid on you, she spread her arms out and ran towards your legs for a hug, cheers and giggles emanating from her lips. She even went as far to show you some of her favorite videos she watches on Youtube Kids. Three hours into babysitting and you forgot to inform your roommate that you had a guest over.

What a surprise it must’ve been for Mark to wake up at 1:48pm with a pair of miniature shoes at the front door and a child using her tablet in his roommate’s bedroom.

He tilts his head. “Since when you have a goddaughter?”

“Since five years ago, Mark.” You rolled your eyes. “Her name is Victoria,” you introduced her. Looking down at her, you push some of her baby hairs away from her face before placing an urging hand on her back. “Want to say hi to my friend, little one?”

She lets out a shy smile and cowers behind her tablet, not long before answering the latter. “H-Hi..” she meekly greets. “I’m Victoria.”

Mark instantly melts at her introduction and coos at her. “She’s so cute— oh my god.”

You giggled. “Yeah, I know.” Standing up from your chair, you reached out for one of her hands. “You woke up just in time, actually. We’re about to bake some strawberry shortcake.” You nod your head to him. “Wanna join?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Sure.” With all three of you departing from your bedroom, you all enter the kitchen, blinds long casted aside to let the afternoon sun enter through your apartment. Victoria plops onto one of your dining chairs while you sorted through your pantry of baking ingredients. You heard Mark open the fridge but instead of him sifting through the contents that you’d expected, you hear no actions from him.

You laughed. “Strawberries, whip cream, eggs.”

“Gotcha.”

After gathering all the ingredients you needed, you both placed them on the kitchen counter. “Okay, so do you want to mix the eggs first while I cut the strawberries?” you asked him.

“Yeah, sure thing—” He jumps a little in his spot. “What the— Did you just slap my ass?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “No, what? I’m literally in front of you, Mark.”

Both of you looked behind him to see none other than Victoria standing with her angel-like eyes, peering up at you two with innocence. However, her demeanor cracks through as she lets out a fit of giggles from both of your confused expressions.

“Victoria…” Mark called out. “Did you slap my butt just now?”

She nods. “Yup!”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

She giggles again. “Because.. I like slapping butts.”

You shrug your shoulders. “Maybe she has a thing for cakes.”

“Dude, what?”

jeongvision’s milestone event!

#mark #mark lee #mark lee scenarios #mark lee imagines #nct #nct 127 #mark lee fluff #nct scenarios #nct imagines #mark lee x reader #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct dream #superm #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #superm scenarios #superm imagines #mark lee smut

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poguesrforlife · 4 years

Text

Young and Beautiful | Rudy Pankow

So after you lovely people were so kind to my previous fics and I gained a 1000 followers !!!! (still not believing it tbh) I wanted to give you a little something something. This idea has been in my head for a week now but it’s gonna be looooong so prepare yourself for a series! I love you all and thank you so much xoxo

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Trigger warning: A little bit smutty but just really intense passion!!

Word count: 1,226 words

Y/N just got the role of her lifetime, starring beside the cast of Outer Banks in the second season as JJ’s love interest. It’s a dream come true and gets even dreamier when she meets Rudy Pankow her alleged love interest. Lines start to blur between reality and film and Y/N is left wondering if taking a leap of faith is worth risking her career.

Your whole body felt like it was on fire and drowning in ice-cold water like-wise. You couldn’t remember the last time somebody made you feel like that. The thought that this wasn’t actually real was pressed to the very corners of your mind as you stared into Rudy’s eyes, his shirtless form hovering above you. God, he was gorgeous. When he looked at you like that and touched your bare skin with his slightly calloused warm hands, it was too easy to forget all the cameras and people around you. But all this was just in your head and you were playing your part just as he did. How you wished in that moment it would be true.

When you got the call that you got the role for JJ’s love interest in the second season of Outer Banks you were ecstatic. You had watched the first season in a couple of days and already fell in love in it and when your agent had mentioned that you might be considered for a part in the next season you couldn’t contain your joy. A couple weeks later you were on set and met the rest of the cast. They were all lovely and welcoming to you but you couldn’t help but feel like a bit of an outsider since they had already grown close to a real family in the first season. But you made the best of the situation and couldn’t be happier to be surrounded by all these amazing human beings. You shared an apartment with the Maddies in Charleston and you girls had the most of fun after shooting was over. The boys were just as lovely and sweet and you couldn’t believe how you got so lucky.

And then there was Rudy. Already during your chemistry read, the tension could be grasped all through the room. It was clear to all the casting directors that you would be a perfect fit. Rudy and you hadn’t spend a lot of time together outside of shooting except when the others were around too. You got along great though, a bit too great.

Every time the two of you ended up alone you couldn’t help but feel nervous and your heart was beating three times as fast. You told yourself that it was just a crush, seeing that he was ridiculously handsome. You both were professionals after all.

When you started filming romantic scenes however the feelings got worse, way more intense. You were sure he felt it just as much as you did. After every screamed ‘cut’ you couldn’t even look at each other because the tension was running too high.

You knew he was just playing JJ and you were playing Y/C/N but it all felt way too real when he stared deep into your eyes with his baby blues.

You kept it friendly and platonic all through shooting but today would be yet another challenge. Today would be the first kiss scene that would quickly lead to a more intimate scene in the bedroom. You tried to not let it bother you too much but your nerves were running high nonetheless.

“Okay Y/N, Rudy! You just had an emotional fight, your feelings are simmering right underneath the surface, you’re screaming at each other and then…” Valerie Weiss made a dramatic pause, “JJ kisses Y/C/N passionately!” She grinned at the both of you.

You took a deep breath and gave Rudy a hesitant smile when the two of you got into position.

“You okay?” He inquired kindly and squeezed one of your hands softly.

“Yeah…” You sighed and smiled genuinely, “We’ll rock this, right?”

“Oh absolutely,” He grinned and winked at you playfully. This didn’t really help the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

You nodded and waited for the ‘action’ and acted out your scene flawlessly.

“I’m just trying to understand, JJ! Why do you always push me away?” You screamed at Rudy, or JJ in this case, and tried to convey as much desperation as you could.

“It is none of your business Y/C/N, that’s why. You can’t fix everybody, you know? Especially not me!” Rudy screamed right back at you, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and you had to admire his acting skills.

“I don’t want to fix anything. When are you gonna get it into your thick stubborn head that I care about you?” You were moving close to him, hands fisted in his shirt as you tried to get him to look at you. One hand went up to his cheek, “JJ, look at me,” You whispered softly and could feel your own tears rolling down your cheeks.

Rudy’s eyes met yours, the colour of the ocean looking back at you with such intensity that your breath caught. It felt like time stood still as you stared into each others eyes, like you were the only two people in the universe. Damned be all the cameras around you and people on set.

He nodded once, as if preparing himself for what came next. Faster than you could process his hands were on your cheeks and he pulled you close to him.

Lips crashed on lips and you could feel the sparks literally igniting between the two of you. Your mouths moved desperately, always trying to get closer and closer. Your hands wandered around his neck, into his hair and pulled slightly. His mouth opened and his tongue slipped out to caress your bottom lip to silently demand entrance which you granted.

Kissing Rudy was like feeling fireworks in the place where your heart should be. He tasted of sweet lemonade and mint gum that the both of you had chewed before the scene, joking about it. But this, this was no joking matter anymore. This was a feeling you had longed for all your life and you couldn’t believe you had finally found it. Kissing Rudy was pure ecstasy.

“Guys! Guys, I said cut!” The director’s voice roped you back into reality and the two of you finally broke apart, catching your breath.

You were still entangled in each other, hands everywhere they should not be in this second, and breathed heavily as your foreheads rested against each other, eyes locked.

Rudy’s pupils were blown, darkening his usually so bright eyes into dark dangerous hues, and his cheeks were flushed a beautiful rosy red. You were certain you must’ve looked quite similar.

“Well, if that wasn’t a kiss!” You heard Chase celebrating from the side and the both of you finally broke apart.

Too late you realised that you hadn’t even heard Valerie when she screamed ‘cut’ the first time. The embarrassment of the situation slowly crept up on you. But this time you didn’t look away from Rudy, quite the opposite. And he was staring right back at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

“That was sheer perfection! I think we actually already got it!” Jonas stated after a discussion on the scene.

You weren’t sure if you were happy about nailing it on the first try or sad because that meant no more kisses for now. All you knew was that you craved Rudy’s hands back on you and his lips locked to yours. By now you realised that you were entering dangerous waters.

#rudy pankow #rudy pankow fanfiction #rudy pankow imagine #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks netflix #outer banks imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #jj fanfiction #jj fanfic #jj maybank imagine #rudy pankow x reader #by poguesforlife #by poguesrforlife

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tenseoyong · 4 years

Note

the 127 ranking was interesting😳 now how would you rank wayv in how vocal they are during sex?

yukhei is so unbelievably loud. that deep ass smokers voice seems to shake the walls when he moans regardless of how quiet he tries to be. it just vibrates through the room, it’s almost impossible to try and hide what you two are up to if anyone passes by. you’re not going to mistake that deep ass groan, “fuck” as anything other than him getting the big ol’ succ and can’t contain himself. 1000/10

xiaojun is a bit of a...whiner. he tries to keep his noises to a low level, but doesn’t always manage to succeed. he’s constantly gasping and groaning, loud moans slip out before he can literally slap a hand over his mouth to try and hide his sounds, god forbid someone catches you two secretly rutting in the closet before he has to go on stage. he’s very much a gasp-and-swear one. hissing every time he sinks into you, “oh that’s—fuck—god you feel—shit—fucking amazing—uh—“ 10/10

ten is another whiny type of lover. he’s awe of pretty much everything you do together. the second you sink down on him, his eyes are rolling into the back of his head. head tipped back and mouth slack, letting out the most adorable string of moans. he’s all gasps, gripping your hips when you move against him, broken moans and heavy breathing. 9/10

yangyang is such a cute lover. he’s not so much loud, as he is vocal. he’s constantly giggling and letting out small laughs, he’s very much the cute boy next door that you fool around with upstairs when you’re supposed to be studying and you don’t want your parents to know what you’re doing. every time he sees a titty, it’s like he’s experiencing it for the first time, an excited “holy shit—wow...” followed by giggles he tries, and fails, to hide. 6/10

sicheng is a more quiet but not silent lover. i’d peg him as more of a quiet by choice kind of guy, you know those ones that think guys aren’t supposed to moan or something for whatever reason men are so dumb so he’s just breathing heavy and maybe you’ll get a small grunt of pleasure here or there until you’re like??? am i doing something wrong or what because why are you so quiet? and you have to do the whole convo of babe, do you understand how hot it is to hear you moan? keep doing that, i want to hear it. after that, he’s still pretty hesitant to get more vocal, but you definitely see an improvement from before, getting more muffled moans and the occasional quiet “fuck!” 1/10

hendery is pretty vocal, too, another talker. but you could swear he’s not even aware he’s muttering the whole way through. he’s not full out dirty talking to you, it’s like he’s just talking to himself. “uh—so, so good...” he’s already breathlessly groaning when he’s sinking himself inside you, pleasure shooting straight up his spine, his head’s tilted back and he’s freely moaning lowly out into the room, not trying to stifle his sounds at all. “so warm—oh fuck—so perfect, you’re perfect...” 10/10

kun is definitely a lot more quiet in the bedroom, but you can tell he holds them back a lot. rather than just being totally silent, you can see him biting his lip and straining to keep an obviously loud moan stifled down to a small whimper of pleasure while he’s rocking his hips against yours. soft moans and heavy panting while he hides his face in your neck or against your chest are pretty much all you can get out of him, aside from a rather loud gasp and shudder when he finally cums. 2/10

#nct #nct smut #nct reactions #nct scenario #wayv #wayv smut #wayv scenario #wayv reactions #drabbles

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

Text

if this was a dream pt. 3

i want to apologize in advance because this is literally like 4 chapters in a trench coat... i'm serious chapter 1 was just over 1000 words and this is over 4000, I have no idea what happened. the reason I didn't break it up is because it is very alastair-centric. I promise next chapter we will get back to thomas and see how he's doing with the actual amnesia part of it all.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Fanfiction Masterlist | AO3

Alastair pulled his coat tightly around himself, trying to keep his breathing steady. The walk from the Institute to Cornwall Gardens was long, but it would give him far more time to clear his head than borrowing a carriage or hailing a hansom cab. He fell into the rhythm of his footsteps; this was familiar to him. He had spent more hours than he could count just walking and walking, trying to run from this life the universe had given him.

Now, though, even his walking was infected by Thomas.

Sometimes, I simply needed to get away from all of the hovering. There was this bit of forest near our house in Idris… it was nice, peaceful. The perfect escape, somewhere to wander until I was too spent to continue. Drove my parents a bit mad, but it was what I needed.

Alastair told him about the woods around Cirenworth, how it was his escape, too. He’d memorized nearly every corner of that forest over the years. It was somewhere where he could pretend to be someone, anyone else. He could be no one, even. He’d left most of the details out, as he often did when discussing his childhood. He trusted Thomas completely, but there were some things he preferred to leave in the past.

Now, his sleepless body ached against the increasing pace of his footsteps, pushing forward as if moving quickly enough could outrun the tears burning behind his eyes. He did not know if he could do this again. If Thomas never regained his memories, could Alastair convince him to forgive him again? Their original circumstances were quite peculiar. Could Alastair survive trying to gain his forgiveness again?

He’d do anything for Thomas, he knew. He loved him, even if he’d never said it out loud. And as he said it now, even in the safety of his own mind, it felt far different than it ever did with Charles on the receiving end. With Charles, love felt strangling. It was shackles to his ankles and wrists, tying him to his misery. Looking back, it was not love at all. With Thomas, he felt free. Thomas made the impossible feel possible.

It isn’t possible. It won’t ever be.

He heard his own words repeated back to him. He knew where this was headed from the start. This is how it all works out for Alastair Carstairs. He knew this time would be no different, even if he hoped it would.

He loathed this feeling inside of him. He’d been doing well. He’d been happy. Now all he could think of were his own self-doubts, his own self-hatred, his age-old desire to run away to the farthest stretches of the Earth in the middle of the night, never to return.

A better partner, a better person would not be so consumed in these thoughts as he was. A better partner would not be the recipient of such hatred from the man he loved at all, memories or not. A better partner would know what to do, how to ease the pain and anxiety that flooded Thomas’ eyes rather than exacerbate them. He was not better, however. He could never be what Thomas deserved. He knew it from the start, but it felt different, being thrown in his face now.

Perhaps it would be better this way, he thought, for it to end like this. It was going to end eventually, as all things do. Perhaps this way would hurt Thomas less, even if Alastair would always wonder what could have happened if he’d tried a little harder, if he’d been a little less horrible, if he’d been a little bit stronger, a bit braver.

He was being ridiculous, he knew. Thomas merely needed time. He’d just woken up from his injury, six months displaced, no less. He was grieving his sister again, even more than before. Alastair wanted to ease Thomas’ pain, but he could not, and thus, Thomas needed time and space and he would give it to him.

Before he realized it, he had returned to his home. He could not remember most of the walk, his feet guiding him through the city he now knew a bit too well as his mind wandered to a place he couldn’t quite reach with his consciousness.

He slowly unlocked the door and sighed as he hung his coat. Cordelia started quickly down the stairs but froze as her expression fell when she saw the look on his face.

Realizing what she must be thinking, Alastair quickly shook his head. “He’s alright. He woke up. He simply… appears to be missing about the past six months of memory.”

Cordelia frowned, her face softening as she continued down the stairs and embraced her brother. “Oh, dâdash. Are you alright?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? Thomas is alive and awake. He just hates me.”

She sighed. “He doesn’t hate you. I don’t think he ever truly did.”

He shook his head. “He thinks he does. Or he wants to. What’s it matter?”

“Take a seat, dâdash. We just made tea, I’ll bring some out.” Before he could protest, she left for the kitchen.

He settled into one of the armchairs. When Cordelia returned, she took the one beside his and began to pour tea for each of them. “You two will work your way through this, you know. Whatever happens.”

“How can you be so sure?”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you joking? I don’t think I’ve ever met two people better matched. It’s as if you share the same soul or something.”

He gritted his teeth. “Most would say we’re opposites.”

“You act like opposites. Believe it or not, though, behaving grumpy or cheerful are not personality traits. In all the ways that matter, you’re two halves of one whole. It makes me utterly green with envy sometimes, seeing the two of you together, the way that you understand each other so completely.

“I love James, of course, with my whole being. But if I’m being honest, for a long time I thought that the reason I liked him was because he reminded me of Father, all introverted and bookish and such. Now, I’m merely trying to decipher what was real and what was not, what parts of me are genuine and which ones are simply who I thought I needed to be to please him. James, too, is finding himself again after all that happened with Grace. Sometimes, it feels as though we’re two clueless children stumbling around with no sense of self, for some reason placed in this big house with adult responsibilities. It’s an utter mess sometimes, though every moment is worth it.

“Yet you… somehow, despite everything, despite all of the odds stacked against you, despite so much pain and fear, you found yourself and your soulmate all in one person. It’s what you deserve, dâdash, what you both deserve. You will find a way.”

He did not quite believe her, but he would not argue.

“Are you going to be alright?” she asked, cocking her head.

He nodded and then paused for a moment. “I don’t know how I’ll explain this to Mâmân.” Despite all the trouble it’s caused, she still did not know the truth about his time in school.

“I could, if you’d like?” Cordelia offered.

He sighed. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to keep the entire matter out of his own hands. He shook his head. “It’s time I did, I think.”

She gave him a bit of a frown but nodded. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m tired of lying. I spent enough time keeping secrets when Father was alive.” He stood from the chair.

“I’m here if you need me.”

He started up the staircase, mustering up a more positive expression as to not worry his mother too much before he could get the words out. He found her in her bedroom, resting in an armchair a few feet away from Rostam’s bassinet. He approached his baby brother first, giving him a small smile though he was fast asleep. It could have been his mind playing tricks on him, but he was certain Rostam was bigger than he’d been just a few days ago.

“He just fell asleep,” his mother said softly. He turned to her. Her eyes looked tired, though no more tired than they had a few days earlier, and certainly no more tired than his own. “Come, azizam, what are you doing home? Did something happen?”

Alastair shook his head. “Thomas is awake; he’s alright.”

“Why aren’t you with him?” she asked after a small stretch of silence.

“He… He has amnesia. He doesn’t remember anything past last summer. It’s best if I keep my distance for a bit.”

His mother gave him a small smile. “It’ll be okay, Alastair joon. He’ll understand given a bit of time.”

Alastair didn’t look at her. “Maybe. I don’t know. He… he’s quite angry with me. The original circumstances under which he forgave me were fairly bizarre to begin with.”

“Forgive you for what, dear? What could possibly be so terrible that he would not forgive you?”

He sighed. He knew he could not avoid this conversation any longer. “I… It was something that happened at school.” He paused for a moment. “I know you think that I got on well with everyone at the Academy, but… That isn’t the truth. When I first arrived, all of the other boys could tell that I was an easy target. I was smaller than them, and… there were rumors. After a while, I just couldn’t bear it any longer. I… I was always quite good with words, as you know. I learned that using them to cut down others would get me a good laugh, and as long as the other boys were laughing they weren’t…” He trailed off. How was he meant to tell his mother this? “It took the attention off of me.”

“By the time James and Thomas and their friends arrived the next year, I was so angry, at everyone and everything… I was so jealous of them. They had…” Picture perfect families, he wanted to say, though he could not. “They had these perfect lives, or at least they appeared that way to me. They never had to worry about attracting the wrong attention on the street or being humiliated because their families couldn’t afford to hire private tutors. They never had to worry about anything but growing up.”

“Alastair…” his mother started. “I know we never discussed things of this nature. It’s alright that you were angry. They benefited from society in ways that rejected you merely by circumstances of birth. But that wasn’t their fault.”

“I know. I know that now, now that I’m older. I know that my anger was misplaced. But when I was in school, society was too big. I only saw what was in front of me. I thought that if I must be cruel to someone, it should be to them. I said terrible, dreadful things about them and their families, things that should never be repeated. They did nothing to deserve the way I treated them. Thomas was kind to me, one of the only people who was ever kind to me in my two years there, and yet I still slandered his family. Last summer, he learned of the things I had said when he was not listening. That is what he remembers now.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Alastair would not look his mother in the eyes. “I always knew that you had a hard time at school, Alastair,” she said finally. “Your lies were never too convincing. I could see how you’d changed. I… I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

He knew it, too. He knew how his parents had spoken about him in those years, lamenting about what a miserable and difficult teenager he’d grown into when he and his sister were not in the room. He also knew how his father only ever seemed to care about Alastair’s destructive behavior when his mother began to pester him about his drinking.

“It’s not your fault.”

“The world was cruel to you, and I could not protect you from it, but I should have tried. You were a child, my child, I am your mother, and I was meant to protect you, but I did not. Not just from the world, but from… your father, I know. Be kind to yourself, azizam. Regardless of what cruel things you did while trying to balance the weight of the world on small shoulders, it seems to me that those you hurt have forgiven you. You simply have not forgiven yourself.”

“Perhaps they shouldn’t have. Perhaps I never deserved their forgiveness in the first place.”

Sona sighed. “Forgiveness is not deserved, Alastair. We forgive for our own wellbeing, so that we can let go and move on. If you will not fight for Thomas on your own behalf, fight on his. He deserves to forgive you, to heal from these wounds of the past. He deserves to be loved by you.”

Alastair didn’t respond.

“It pains me to see you like this. You deserve to forgive, too. You deserve to forgive yourself and all who have caused you pain. You deserve to be free of it. As long as you keep such a tight grip on it all, you will only continue to destroy yourself, and as long as you continue to destroy yourself, you will hurt those who love you as well. Please-” she cut herself off, her voice breaking. Her voice trembled as she began again, and he realized for a striking moment that he had never seen her this vulnerable before. He’d witnessed her pain after Elias’ death, and he’d caught glimpses of her sorrow before it, but she’d always kept her truest self tightly locked. “Please, my love, promise me that you’ll try. You can start with me.”

He looked up at her abruptly, startled. He opened his mouth to protest, but before he could find the words, she’d stood and crossed the few feet between them.

She took his hands in hers. Seeing the pain in her eyes, he wanted desperately to look away but he could not. “Please, forgive me. Forgive me for all of the ways that I’ve failed you. You were too young for the burdens I placed upon you. I never should have allowed you to take on that responsibility. Please, forgive me for all of the times I overlooked your pain because I was distracted by my own. I am so sorry, Alastair, for each and every time I hurt you and dismissed you. I did the best with what I had, but if I could go back in time and teach myself to be a little stronger, a little braver, to be a better mother than I was, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can’t. All I can do is promise to try to be a better mother, not just to your brother, but to you as well. If it’s not too late.” Careful tears streamed down her cheeks, rare as they were.

He shook his head, feeling his own tears spill. He fell into her embrace, holding her tightly, as he had not done since he was a small child. “I forgive you,” he said softly, and he meant it.

They stood for a long while, holding each other, taking comfort in each other and the silence. Until Rostam began to cry. They pulled away from each other awkwardly.

“I should… get some rest,” Alastair said, trying to pull himself together. He realized suddenly that he had no idea what time it was or when he’d last slept or eaten.

Sona nodded. “Of course. I love you, Alastair. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. I’m sorry that you and Thomas are struggling right now, but I know that you two are strong and resilient. With a bit of time and healing, this will pass.”

He nodded, unable to respond without breaking down again.

He returned to his bedroom to the sound of his mother soothing his newborn brother. Shutting his door behind him, he felt the exhaustion of the past several days settled deep into his bones. With heavy movements, he changed into clean clothes, leaving the old ones in a heap on the floor. Typically, he would be horrified at the thought of anything in his room so out of place, but he could not find the energy within himself to care.

He collapsed into his bed, drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep, repeating his mothers words back to himself in his mind. If only forgiving himself would come as easily as forgiving her.

* * *

The next two days passed as a blur. He’d slept heavily the first night. Cordelia had reportedly attempted to wake him for dinner, but settled on bringing a bit of food to his bedroom instead.

The next day passed a bit more normally, though Alastair still felt quite scattered. He’d appeared well-enough put together, however, for Cordelia to feel comfortable going home, so he supposed that was a good sign. Kamala had come for a visit, too, though he wasn’t much in the mood for talking, and they wound up just giving Rostam a bath and discussing Kamala’s latest read.

The day after that had slowly begun to feel more normal, more balanced. Until Gideon Lightwood arrived at his door.

Alastair stared at him for a moment before regaining his composure. He began to call him Mr. Lightwood before stopping himself. It still felt a bit odd to call him by his given name. “Gideon, hello. What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

“No, no,” he said quickly. “Everything’s fine. Thomas is doing well; he’s feeling much better, though no significant improvements to his memory.”

Alastair nodded. “That’s good. That he’s feeling better, I mean.”

“I came here to check on you, actually.”

“Oh.” He paused. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to. Well, we all did, Sophie, Eugenia, and I, but I was the most persuasive.” He smiled as he spoke, as if smug at the accomplishment of being delegated the one to come visit him.

“Right, er, come in,” he gestured for Gideon to enter and take a seat in the sitting room. “You’re in luck; my mother just made tea if you’d like some.”

He nodded. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

Alastair returned a few moments later and began pouring tea. “It was very kind of you to come, but I’m truly alright. Just worried about Thomas is all.”

Gideon nodded. “Of course. As I said, he’s doing well, or as well as can be expected under the circumstances. I know it is difficult for him, feeling so disconnected. Regardless of the brave face he puts on. It’s frustrating for him, as if we’ve all got some sort of inside joke that he isn’t in on.”

He could imagine it: the quick glances, the brief answers to Thomas’ many questions. He was certain it was driving him mad. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

Gideon gave him a small smile. “Because he’s feeling better, his friends are coming by today to attempt to fill him in on the time that he’s missing. I’m certain there will be gaps, though. Perhaps afterwards he will be more open to speaking with you.”

Alastair didn’t know how to tell him that he wasn’t so sure Thomas’ friends would be singing his praises.

“You should stop by the Institute tomorrow if you’re free,” Gideon offered.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“It’s up to Thomas, of course, if he would like to see you, but if nothing else I know that Sophie and Eugenia would love for you to come by.”

Alastair didn’t respond for a long moment. He’d spent these past couple of days mainly sleeping and caring for his brother, but also ruminating over his conversation with his mother. He began to make a mental list, both of the things he felt he had not forgiven himself for and the things he had not forgiven others for. Before he knew it, the list was distressingly lengthy. He had no idea where to even begin. Perhaps if he could put this one mistake behind him, whatever that meant, the rest would seem less overwhelming.

He knew that he would never forgive himself for how he hurt Thomas’ family as long as the terrible things he’d done went unspoken. Perhaps that was why he never brought it up. “Did Thomas ever tell you why he was angry with me?”

Gideon narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Something that happened back at school, wasn’t it?”

Alastair nodded. He memorized the way Gideon looked at him now, prepared to only be looked upon with hatred in a few moments. He exhaled and looked down, too cowardly to watch the expression change. “I said things… horrible things about your family. About your wife and about Thomas and about Henry Fairchild, but mainly about you, the Consul, and Matthew. There were rumours going around that he was your child, and I repeated them to him. I repeated them after, too. I have reasons for the way I behaved at school, but I have no reasons for that. I was simply angry. Matthew and I were both terrible to each other, and I was so angry for so many reasons. I did not think of the consequences of my words. I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry for the role I played in causing your family such pain.”

“It’s okay,” Gideon replied gently. Alastair looked up in surprise to see not a hint of the hatred he was expecting. Seeing the confused look on his face, he continued. “Obviously, I’m not happy that you said cruel things about my loved ones, but it was a long time ago, and I would be a hypocrite to not recognize a man who regrets his mistakes and has learned from them. You make my son happy, Alastair. That more than makes up for anything you might’ve said when you were younger, in my eyes.” He flashed him a smile and gave an exaggerated sigh. “Here I was, worried that you’d killed someone or something.”

“Well, I’ve also done that, but it’s not what Thomas is angry about.”

Gideon stared at him, clearly unsure over whether or not he was serious.

“Joking,” he said quickly. “...kind of.”

He looked back at him hesitantly. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

“Ha, no. Not today.” His guilt surrounding the deaths of Clive Cartwright and his father would need to be addressed another time.

“Right,” Gideon responded. “Thank you for telling me this, Alastair. I appreciate your honesty. I only have one question, why did you not say anything about this before? It was clearly bothering you. Did you fear we would reject you?”

“I…” That seemed like the logical answer, wasn’t it? Yet he knew it was not the correct one. “I think that perhaps it was the opposite. I was just so ashamed… and I knew that as long as I held on to that, I would never allow myself to truly get too close. I know how horrible that sounds, and I know it hurt Thomas, too, but for some reason that,” he gestured vaguely with his hands, “was scarier than anything else. I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t make sense-”

“It does. I understand, Alastair, even if I don’t like that you felt you had to do that. I know the past couple of months have been complicated for you, though in many ways less complicated than the years before. It will always be your choice, but know that there will always be a place for you in my life, whether you and Thomas are together or not. But I will not ever blame you for anything you feel you are not able to do.”

Alastair nodded, feeling a soreness at the back of this throat that indicated impending tears.

“You should stop by tomorrow and visit us. It’s up to you, but I think that it would be helpful for you to speak with Sophie, too. I will not repeat anything to her, lest you decide not to. I do think it would be somewhat of a relief, though. We thought that the reason you were so distant was because you disliked us.”

“What?” He silently cursed the pain in his voice.

“Joking,” Gideon teased with a chuckle. “Kind of.”

Alastair exhaled, feeling a bit of the tension release, and gave him half of an eye roll.

“Please, tell me honestly, Alastair, are you doing alright?”

He nodded in response, finally feeling it to be true.

“I shall take my leave then. The tea was truly lovely, by the way. You must pass my thanks unto your mother.”

“I will.”

“See you tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow,” Alastair responded before he could stop himself. He stood to see him out, but was surprised when Gideon met him with a hug goodbye.

“Thank you for chatting with me.”

“Thank you for… checking in.”

Gideon smiled at him and donned his coat and hat. Alastair watched him as he departed, feeling more at peace now than he had in quite a while.

thanks so much for reading! taglist (reply, ask, or message to be added/removed): @stxr-thxif @satanisanauthor @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @kamalajcshi @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid

#if this was a dream fic #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfiction #fanfic #chain of iron spoilers #chain of iron #coi spoilers #coi

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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years

Text

Batsis HC Compilation

1. Being the Artist/ Sensitive Also Kinda Scary Wayne Daughter HC (lol):

Warnings: Depression and anxiety mentions

· You were the first biological child of Bruce Wayne

· Well as far as you knew lol

· You were younger than Jason, but a few months older than Tim

· I suspect that if you were in the family business as long as Dick or so you’d have some issues

· Those would include but not be limited to depression and possible anxiety

· There would be happy days but it would still go downhill after a few days

· On the days where it was worst, everyone would pile in for family movie night

· Secretive person and would probably be quite and sarcastic

· Since you were living at the manor your entire life, you would’ve lived to see Jason’s death and it really hurt

· If you were a musician, I suspect that Alfred or Bruce would have walked in on you at the piano or something playing a terribly sad song about it or just emotions and they’d cry

· Something like the song “Beautiful Scar” by Alicia Moffet (sad one btw like omg)

· If you were a writer or an artist, just pieces describing everything symbolically

· Going back to the musician, there is a music room in the manor in my mind so I suspect that there are times where Bruce or one of your older brothers will carry you into your bedroom if they find you asleep

· You find it hard being a Wayne and all seeing as it’s like everyone around you is fake

· That led you to hanging alone a lot which concerned Bruce

· “Y/N, why don’t you go to the party you were invited to? It’s a beautiful day for one.” He said one day finding you reading in your bedroom.

You looked at him solemnly, “All my friends are fake and want me for money and clout.” “I don’t try to go out with them much if I don’t have to.” *Que protective batdad*

· The library is your home as well as the gardens

· Now public and patrol is a whole new story

· Riddler is your favorite villain because he starts good conversations

· Sometimes the villains have in fact questioned your health to your older brothers

· Riddler: So, does it concern you that Y/S/H/N seems to openly hate life or is it just me?

Nightwing: We all hate life, she just does a little bit more

Riddler: ...okkayyyyyyy

· You sometimes make very violent threats on patrol which lead to some interesting conversations in the vans back to jail

· The paps are literally scared of you

· You have given the famous Wayne glare but on level 1000, billions of times

· Very sarcastic answers to some questions

· When people on the internet come for anyone you love you shut them down asap

_______________________________________________________________________

2. Being the Business Woman

· You showed interest in the business for a while but never really total want to take over WE

· No, you wanted to leave that for Tim

· The boy deserved it anyways

· Instead you started taking extra courses in business and such in middle school and worked your way up

· While you didn’t like galas, you did try and make connections

· You went to either an Ivy Leauge or Oxford or something

· Then Wharton

· After that you were on your way

· If you already had a business it was booming but now it’s “extra booming”? idk but you get the idea

· HuGE

· Bruce was very proud and made that clear in interviews

· Your company works closely with WE

· Asking B for advice

· Paparazzi doubling down on coverage for you since now you’re bigger than ever

· Hosting you own galas

· You either have a big house and rooms for everyone or a penthouse with the same situation

_______________________________________________________________________

3. Being Bruce’s Favorite

· You have the best relationship with Bruce out of everyone

· He takes you out on father/ daughter lunch or dinner dates which is pretty fun

· He would never openly admit that you’re his favorite

· Taught you to drive

· If you ever need advice you go straight to him

· Best birthdays ever

· You go and visit him at WE and he lets you hang in the office

· There’s a secret fridge stocked with snacks

· Dad/ daughter patrol

· Read you stories as a child

· Legit might still if you ask

· You sit in his office to do homework

· Has come home to you spinning in his office chair

· Shopping sprees

· Interviews

· Very protective on patrol when it comes down to being in a ton of danger

_______________________________________________________________________

4. Being the Metahuman

· I’m thinking that you would have gotten your powers from a mission gone wrong

· It was probably involving magic or something and you were seriously injured

· I think that it would be fitting to be able to control darkness and things like shadows

· Everyone was freaked out including you

· You begged not to be sent away knowing what he thought of metas

· He promised that he wouldn’t and just had someone over that would help you

· Lots of tests at first and you kinda just lived in the Batcave for some time just incase

· After that you changed your costume a bit to fit to the power theme

· The villains were straight confused

· “Bats what happened to your kid? Why is she scarier now?” ...”it’s complicated”

· You know how in Young Justice, Robin had that creepy laugh?

· It was like that now but then shadows came out of the wall

· Everyone is pretty sure you made a few street criminals and Black Mask’s goon pee their pants

· Best Halloween fun on patrol now

· You scared Joker once

· The powers do sometimes take a darker turn and you had to learn to control that since it did come from a maliciously used magic

· “I can smell the fear off of you, clown.” You smiled and walked around him, shadows in the room, darkening your presence. “Uhhh Batsy, I don’t like this one anymore.”

· Hanging out with more Metas

· You and Duke are like best friends

· Gotta figure it out with someone am I right?

_______________________________________________________________________

5. Being the Author

· Your father does have presence everywhere, but you don’t like to think that that is the reason for your success

· I could imagine you being a true crime or just mystery writer

· Maybe even fantasy/fiction

· Jason helps you write them if you ever get stuck

· All of them go to your book signings and sometimes it’s embarrassing but also funny

· You love that they support you

· Care packages from Alfred when you’re on book tours

· There are typically also some more things tucked inside from everyone

· Staying up with Timbers

· Your room is probably really aesthetic just sayin

· Gardens and library is the beesstttttt

· Sometimes for books, you take your time on patrol and as a superhero even if you still do it as inspiration

· Everyone is like HoW Do ThEY COmE uP WiTh ThIS

· Hehe

· If you’re moved out I can imagine you have a really cool apartment or house

· Cozy and open

· *aesthetic*

· One time, Damian did a book cover for you and so since he actually wouldn’t let you pay him, you took him on tour with you

· You helped him make that his side hustle lol

· Alfred has all of your books in the library

_______________________________________________________________________

Okay so I could NOT sleep last night and was up till 6 doing this, I don’t mind adding onto it and I’ll totally take requests for this. I do hope that you guys liked this.

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leviachaan · 4 years

Note

would ask for a matchup but i decided to go w/ a headcannon request. how would the brothers or undateables (whichever you’re more experienced at writing ^^) react to MC taking them to ikea? apparently the furniture names are like demon summoning rituals if you try to pronounce them. 👀

//This is honestly so amusing to imagine siajdjks we need to somehow bring them all to IKEA for real

Lucifer 🎲

"MC, stay close to me so you don't get lost. It could be dangerous in this labyrinth" "Lucifer, honey, this is a furniture store" "oh"

You cannot change my mind that this man would be staring at the most gothic yet elegant pieces of furniture ever (I thought of lamps for some reason)

His eyes would be constantly glued on you. You never know what could come out from under those beds, MC.

He would do his best to stifle a laugh from your poor attempt of pronouncing a word.

"Take your time" remarks here and there to piss you off Lucifer you little shit

MC: "These words feel like I'm summoning a demon"

Lucifer: "????? excUSE-"

He ends up buying the gothic lamp. Another addition to his dungeon looking bedroom.

After his fascination for the lamp is over, he would mostly be focused on you and your cute little outbursts of excitement over random things.

"Lucifer, look at all those candles! Don't they look great??" "Of course, my dear"

Your room would be 90% candles the next morning.

And a matching lamp

Mammon💴

For the love of Diavolo

Don't. Leave. Him. Alone.

He will steal buy everything that he finds on his way the second you turn your head away.

The whole building is like a Mammon harem. He needs to buy everything. He needs it, MC.

"How many bucks if I fit this whole table in my pockets" "maMMON NO-"

You bet he would find a way to piss the employees off to the point you two would have to run and hide inside one of the closets.

"Y-you sure must be feeling grateful to be stuck with someone like me inside a closet, human" "Mammon, I swear to everything holy-"

The whole walk would be you having to babysit Mammon and sweet talk him out of buying every object in the bloody building and him criticising stuff.

Mammon: "Who would even buy a bed like that?"

MC: "I like that bed"

Mammon: "I love that bed"

He would end up getting lost and you would have to ask one of the employees to help you search for him.

"Sir, please follow me, your guardian is looking for you"

Leviathan 🐍

It would take l o t s and l o t s of convincing to even bring him out of his room. You had to promise him two nights of TSL binge watching as compensation.

Why go there when we can enjoy the online IKEA simulator?

Would 1000% stick to you like a lost puppy. He's not used to being outside and in such a huge building, please don't leave him alone.

He would shyly hold the hem of your shirt for comfort (would try to hold your hand as well, but if you mentioned it he would be like "ROTF how did my hand get there? LOL!"

At some point he saw you staring at a love seat.

MC, please no

You: >:)

MC, NO

You ended up pulling him down with you on the love seat. Congrats! You broke Leviathan!

He would bury his face inside his shirt like an ostrich, anything to avoid you seeing the ridiculously prominent blush on his face.

He felt pride swelling in him though once people looked at you sitting on the love seat together.

"They are mine. Take that, normies"

Satan📖

He would s p r i n t to every vintage bookcase that caught his eye.

Probably the only one of the brothers to actually look at the furniture.

You would turn away for 0.1 seconds and you would find him sitting on one of the chairs for display already having read 3 of the books meant for props.

"Dear, do you know where an employee is? I want to borrow this book-"

Will definitely try to buy the book

It was an accident, but you got really excited by a small plant and wandered around, leaving Satan behind as a result.

Needless to say, you would find him soon enough as he would be punching through every fake door in his way and yeeting chairs to the Gods thinking that someone kidnapped you.

"DID YOU TAKE THEM???" *insert terrified employee*

You would have to literally tackle him to prevent him from murdering everyone on sight.

You would have to explain his demon form to everyone as part of a Halloween themed party

Even if it's August

Asmodeus👛

If you think this man would do anything else but stare at the mirrors, you are wrong.

"Darling, look how amazing this mirror looks! Oh wait, it's just me~"

If you are interested in actually buying something, he's your demon.

People would actually ask him things, because they would think he works there.

You are in for a 2 hour long presentation for the reasons the pale pink chair fits the shade of your bedroom wall more than the pastel orange one.

He would insist on you two taking pictures in front of absolutely every mirror on display.

He maintains that he did it because he wants to decide which one to get later back at home, but in reality he really wants his phone to be full of pictures of you.

You are the most beautiful thing in his eyes and he wants to stare at you all the time 💖

Beelzebub🍔

Food detected

This hungry boi would locate the cafeteria as soon as you two stepped inside the building.

MC: "We could eat lunch here! But it takes a while to get to the cafeteria and to find it-"

Beel: "Found it "

He's really hungry, but he doesn't want to ruin your date so he will follow you around everywhere you go and patiently wait for you to say it's time to eat.

Poor boi will feel his heart pounding louder than his stomach once you show him a small hamburger plushie with a smile on it and told him it reminds you of him.

MC: "It's cute, just like you!" Beel: 🥺

He bought the plushie and is now officially sleeping with it every night and if anyone dares to touch it, he will eat their hands.

He has to hold back from eating it, but it reminds him of you and he holds it close to his chest every night so he won't have nightmares.

His smile could beat heaven itself once you two sit to eat.

Belphegor 💤

You thought persuading Levi was hard? Take a look at this fool.

You would have to literally b e g this damn cow to get out of his bed and come with you.

You promised him cuddles and naps when you come back so you better stick to your word.

As soon as he locates the beds, you are done.

Not even the three realms together could make this man stand back up.

MC: "Belphie, please, get up"

Belphie: "Make me"

Fun fact: you couldn't make him.

This demon grabbed your hand and pulled you down on the bed with him.

He clang to you like a koala and wouldn't let go no matter what.

You would softly try to remind him that there are people watching.

He would straight up growl at anyone that looked at you or tried to make you two get up.

You were eventually kicked out and Belphie couldn't be happier.

Time to go home and cuddle you.

Diavolo 👑

"So this is how humans spend their time! So intriguing!"

He would act like an excited puppy the whole time. Yes, this man is the prince of hell.

He would be thrilled by e v e r y t h i n g and I mean e v e r y t h i n g.

You two would end up playing hide and seek and he would easily find you every time.

He's a demon, he can smell your scent from 1 kilometer away. That's the only reason he would let you roam around like that without being worried about your well-being.

He can't really hide from you either considering how tall and buff he is.

You would pretend not to see him so you could see that beautiful grin on his face thinking that he hid well. Protect him.

Mentally writes down anything you seem to like so he can buy it for you.

He wants you to feel safe and accepted in the Devildom so he will get you anything he can to make you feel like home 🥺

You wake up the next day with your room fully redecorated and a heartwarming letter from Diavolo thanking you for taking him with you and him hoping you had fun as well with a small smily face at the end.

I'm weak for this man

This took me a while to write, but it was so fun! I hope you enjoyed it! I will try to practise more on writing for Simeon and Solomon and make sure to write about them too next time! Thank you for the request 💖

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo

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sometipsygnostalgic · 4 years

Note

so we know bubbline were dating at some point in season 10 and was confirmed on screen by the finale but when do you think they officially got back together?

long post? yes. this deserves nothing less

After the episode Sky Witch, the two started spending a LOT of time together.

In the episode Red Starved, Marceline is with Finn and Jake on a quest that Princess Bubblegum assigned to them. In the past, she would have probably told them to ditch the quest and goof off with her instead.

At the end of the episode, she drinks the red from Bonnie. Hilariously, Bonnie is really pissed off and half-dying ( >:[ ), while Marceline just says “thanks lol :)” and puts her hand on her shoulder. n

In the episode Princess Day, they’re texting each other. Marceline invites PB to goof off with her but PB was too invested in her crossword puzzle.

In the episode Graybles 1000+, Marceline’s sock is suspiciously on the floor in PB’s bedroom 👀 this is pretty queerbaity ngl

And in Varmints, we see Marceline literally sneak into PB’s room at night. She wakes her up and invites her to go on a midnight Squeeze-e-mart run to get slushies. It’s basically a date. It’s implied they were doing this regularly.

However, while they were probably dating or flirting, I don’t think that they had hooked up officially until later on - more specifically, they didn’t get committed until after Stakes.

This is because in Varmints, Marceline hasn’t spoken to PB for at least 2 months. She has no idea about anything that happened in the season 6 finale. And PB is still pushing people away. But at the end of this episode, when PB fully opens up to Marcie for the first time, and Marcie provides much needed support and understanding, I think this is when things got a bit more serious between them.

Marceline and Bonnie in Stakes are crushing hard on each other, and they’re starting to think about the future. However, I think their feelings about each other are complicated enough, as are their feelings about Marcie’s de-vamping, that they can’t have a sincere discussion about how Marceline’s mortality will affect their future. Bonnie provides her full support, and says Marcie will live a fully happy mortal life, and she’ll be the one to bury her in the ground when she dies. The romantic implications of this are obvious. However, the underlying subtext is that PB is pushing down her true feelings of the matter, and Marceline hasn’t thought about the impact on their relationship.

In the episode with the Moon, Marceline starts dying due to poison. She starts dreaming of her desired future life as a mortal. Bonnie has to deal with the concept of Marceline’s death then and there - taken away so suddenly, without any time to process it. Bonnie is struggling to keep herself together, and asks Peppermint Butler for help using suspicious methods that she doesn’t understand. Marceline imagines her own death, with PB at her side still young and pretty, and it’s not a bad reality at all - Marceline lived a happy life in her dream world - but she’s also started wondering what it means to get old and die while her partner has to watch. It’s a difficult situation. Bonnie’s crying ends up being the thing that wakes Marceline up, alerting her to the presence of the Moon.

Anyway it’s in this episode that they were hit with a steel chair reminding them of what they mean to each other.

They still had some more obstacles. Marceline had some growing up to do in Stakes, and she kind of ditched PB at the start of the final battle. But Marceline spoke to Ice King and realised that she’d been strong the whole time, and she took destiny into her own hands. It was the power of her bonds with others and of her newfound respect for herself that she used to kill the Vampire King. Bonnie got to watch this happen.

Even though Marceline had been re-bitten, she was at peace with this now. She’d reclaimed her vampirism with dignity, and owned her trauma. She is happy to remain a vampire because this time, she has her friends to help her. “Now I guess we can be together forever.”

PB is clearly interested at this point in pushing their relatioinship forward, because she invites her to live in the castle. Marceline rejects at the moment, but in this episode, they had become committed.

It’s after this that you see far more moments with them holding hands, Marcie taking PB to a dinner date with Simon, both of them hanging out in the skate park, Marcie singing more love songs ripped from lgbt artists, both of them REPEATEDLY trading clothes (sometimes within the same scene like in Islands Part 1), the whole situation where Marcie was by PB’s side singing songs about love for the entirety of Elements and it was revealed later that she CHOSE to get elementified because she thought there was no way to bring PB back... and then the final season, where Marceline is seen as PB’s strongest ally by her worst enemies. The final episode, where Marceline confronts PB about the war and asks her not to do this, but even though they’re together and having a sincere conversation, they’re still not on the same page because PB is putting this battle above everything else, even though she shows her first signs of conflicted feelings when Marcie talks to her.

When Marceline sees PB “die”, she is overcome with rage, and the power of her heartbreak causes her to turn into Dark Cloud and DEMOLISH the enemy horrorterror. When PB survived, Marceline launched herself at her into a hug, and PB seemed unsure of how to respond to Marceline just pouring her feelings out about how even when they weren’t talking, she was still so worried something would happen to her (makes me wonder if Marcie ever found out about Mortal Folly/Recoil). PB tries to reassure her that nothing will happen, which turns into a funny joke because of her concussion, and they laugh and kiss like it’s the most natural thing in the world. After all, they’ve been a couple for 3 seasons.

What a good pairing. That was a beautiful scene hidden in a chaotic finale.

#adventure time #bubbline

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earthlyemily · 4 years

Text

I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is [email protected] or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is [email protected] i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

#personal #finances #broke #poor #vegan #small business owner #graves disease #saving animals #off grid #I wonder if anyone will even read this all #debt #life update lol #p

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voltagesmutter · 4 years

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Kids?

Request: can i ask the boys with a s/o who does NOT absolutly not, want kids? like she rather have 1000 pets than 1 kid

Kiro:

Kiro wanted a baby, there was no doubt about that. The hints started out subtle but grew and grew until he fully asked you one day.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a baby chips?”. You almost choked on your drink.

“Kiro, I love you but we’ve not been dating that long,”.

“I know, I feel like we’re just meant for each other, wouldn’t a baby be the perfect way to express our love,”.

“Kiro… a baby isn’t something you just decide on off a whim, it's a lifetime commitment of bringing a physical being into the world,”.

“I just love you so much,”.

“I love you too but I don’t want kids yet Kiro, your career is in such high peak what would happen if you went on tour again?”.

“Well you could both come with me,”.

“Kiro, you can’t bring a baby on tour… It’s wouldn’t be fair on us or our baby without you here,”.

“Well I-”.

“And I… I’m not ready yet to be a mom Kiro, I know you love it when Savin brings his baby to the set but having a baby to look after for a few hours is completely different to being a parent,”.

He pouted but he knew you were right over the situation. You had a long chat into the night about your thoughts and feelings both of you agreeing you was still to young for kids.

“Kiro! You home?” You yelled, opening your front door waiting for him to come running from somewhere within the house.

“Here Miss.Chips!” He strolled in through the living room before stopping, seeing you with a small bundle in your arms, “W-what is that?”.

“So this is a test run, to see how we would actually cope as parents,” You giggle as you unravel the blanket for a baby corgi fast asleep cradled against you, “This is our baby chips,”.

The two of you loved the puppy beyond words, you called him Sonny and was often found in co-matching outfits with Kiro. Sonny brought the pair of you closer in a way, the new responsibility making you see Kiro in a different light, a more mature responsible light. You would come home from work and find the pair of them passed out on the sofa cuddled up or Kiro showing him off on social media, determined to teach him every trick under the sun. Whilst you were set on not having kids yet, you knew when the time came, Kiro would be the best dad that existed.

Victor:

Neither of you had spoken about having kids, they seemed like a extremely far, far, far away in the distance.

That was until Goldman came into work one morning, late and extremely exhausted. Victor was ready to launch hell onto him, preparing to deduct a few zero’s of that eye-watering pay-cheque but it wasn’t until Goldman apologised telling him ‘Clare’ had been keeping him up did he change his mind.

“Don’t let your sex life effect your working ways Goldman,” Victor sighed with slight disgust but Goldman chuckled softly.

“Clare is my daughter, she came a few earlier than expected so it’s been a bit manic,”. Victor, having a heart, was intrigued by the photos and stories, demanding he brought the precious, tiny bundle into work for him to meet. And when he first laid eyes on the tiny newborn?

That was it, Victor had one thing on his mind, to get you pregnant with his child.

“We’ll have to get married first of course,” He hummed, taking your hand in his. You was currently sat opposite him taking in the information: A. Goldman had a wife, B. Goldman had a child, C. Victor wanted to have a child with you. It was all overwhelming.

“Victor, as lovely as that is, I’m not ready to have kids yet,” You sigh, watching his face drop slightly before pulling it back to his casual poker face.

“But, you’d be my wife, you would have everything you wanted,”.

“Victor! I want you to marry me because you love me, not just because you want to get me pregnant…” Your voice trailed off.

“I do love you, I do and I do want to marry you but I grew up with nothing, *You cocked an eyebrow* Okay fine, I grew up with very little compared to what I have now and I want to pass down the Li legacy and who better than to our child?” His words flooding your body as endless amounts of oxytocin pumped through your veins.

“I love that Victor, and I understand it all, but we can’t just have a baby so you can have an heir to your business, I’m not ready for that responsibility just yet Vic and that’s me being honest with you,” You squeeze his hand and he reassuringly squeezes it back, “Besides, you talking about marriage as if you’ve already proposed,”. You teased and wiggled your bare ring finger in front of his face as he chuckled softly.

Oh if only you knew about the diamond studded ring he had in his pocket, which he would present to you later that night during your private dining experience at Souvenir.

Gavin:

Gavin wanted the whole family shablam. The big white wedding, the house, the two kids. He envisioned it to be part of his life. So the day you told him you wasn’t overly keen on the idea of kids it crushed him and his dreams.

“It’s not that I don’t ever want kids, but I just like having you to myself is all,” You shrugged, turning your back to him to him so you could begin preparing dinner.

“But wouldn’t it be nice, little us’s running around, you’d be an amazing mommy,” He wraps him arounds you from behind, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. With a sigh, you place the vegetables in your hands down and rest against him.

“I do want that Gave, but just… just not right now okay, how would we cope? We both have full times jobs and your away on missions, you couldn’t keep coming home with all these new scars and wounds,”.

“Well, I mean… I could take an office job at the department, I know it’s less dangerous and more money and you could, well I mean, we don’t need two incomes with an office wage,”. He chose his words carefully, he knew how much your job meant to you.

“So what? You expect me to give up my career and be a perfect stay at home mom? Waiting hand and foot, clean the house, care for the baby, do the cooking for when you come home?” You snapped, wrestling your way out his arms.

“No that’s not what I-” He started, the redness growing on his cheeks.

“What next? Ask you for my money allowance so I can go to the shop and buy things,” You huff, he had touched a nerve deeply with this subject.

You refused to speak to him the rest of the night, kicking your husband out of your bedroom for him to sleep on the sofa.

You did make up rather quickly the next day after a hearty long discussion, this had been your first fight as a married couple. Both of you agreeing now wasn’t the time to consider a baby and for you both to just enjoy each other.

The biggest shock the pair of you faced…

When Shaw turned up to your home one day, a baby carried and wee little dot fast asleep inside it.

“So uh… this is Astrapí, meet your nephew,” He mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. A drunken one night stand and nine months later a baby boy had been left on his doorstep with a note, Shaw having the *Deeply hidden* gentle soul he had, raised his son with the help of Gavin and you.

Whilst it wasn’t your own child Gavin was tending too, he knew this practise would be perfect for your baby when the time was finally right. For now, he gladly settled on being the world's best uncle.

Lucien:

He was fascinated by human emotions, each of them so similar yet so different, all triggered by environmental factors and hormonal impulses released from the brain.

His favourite one currently was pregnancy and the female anatomy around pregnancy, the radial glow, the increased sexual appetite, the instinct to protect the life inside them at all costs. He was beyond intrigued and he wanted to find out more.

“Right, so let me get this right,” You sighed heavily shaking your head, “You want to get me pregnant so you can observe me and the whole pregnancy?”.

“It would do wonders for my research,”.

“Jesus Lucien, we’re talking about a baby here! Not some frickin lab experiment,”.

“I understand, but then the child would be an immense breakthrough with my work,”.

You literally felt your jaw drop. Was he serious? Was this lunatic, too handsome for his own good, serious?

“Lucien, a baby is something conceived out of love…”.

“I’ve already thought of this, we could extract an egg from you, fertilize it with my sperm and once developed enough we can insert it back into you,”. You literally felt dumbstruck at your boyfriends proposal. Even if, if, you considered this, there was no way that would be happening, you was at least going to get some mind-blowing sex out of it.

“No, no- that’s not what I meant, couples have children Lucien because they want to grow and start a family, not because it will ‘help with research’”.

“So I take this as a no?”.

“Look, I don’t want kids right now Lucien and certainly not by boyfriend who purely wants one for science,”.

“What about in the future?”.

“Well that depends…”.

“What if we stay deeply in love, we produce our own child?”.

“For science?” You ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“For love,” His soft words, enveloping over your heart as you smile.

“Now that I can agree to,” Wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulls you close to his chest, savouring sweet kisses between you.

Shaw:

Both on the same wavelength, kids could be a possibility in the extremely deep and distant future.

However after a couple of months of dating Shaw suggests the idea of potentially moving in together.

“We could get a snake, call it Jerry or something,” His eyes glowing as he knelt down in the pet shop, taking the vivid breeds of specimens.

“Ooh what about this one!” You squeal, as a western hognose slithered against the tank to when your finger was pointing, its tongue flickering in a slightly hiss.

“I think it likes you,” He chuckles, moving close to you.

“Well duh? Who doesn’t,” You tease, the pair of you fixated on the small reptile, slithering across the bedded rocks.

“Here we are, nice and home,” Shaw beams, placing her into the freshly set up tank, as she slithers around exploring her new surroundings. The pair of you spend the whole afternoon adoring her every movements, making little comments about what she was doing, still deciding on her name.

“Hmm, she’s speedy, very speedy! What about ‘Blitz’?” You ask, Shaw turning to face you.

“Blitz?”.

“It means lightning with German,” You smile as a quick bolts flash over Shaw’s eyes as he nods in agreement.

“Right, well I best be off, some of us have work in the morning,” You huff, standing up and giving your new shared pet a quick goodbye as you gathered you bag.

“I’ll mis- She’ll miss you, not having another pair of eyes ogling over her and dropping a stupid amount of treats into her bowl,” He mumbles, wrapping his arms around you as you headed to the door.

“I’ll miss her too, when I next come over she better not be the size of a house!” You tease, playfully poking his chest.

“Maybe you should stay and keep an eye on her,”.

“But she has you?”.

“Yes- but- I.. ugh forget it,” He mumbles once more.

“Shaw?” You ask, admiring the slightly flustered man in front of you.

“I don’t want you to go,” He admits.

“Well, I can stay but I’ll need to head out early to get changed for work,” You smile, running a hand over his cheeks.

“No I don’t ever want you to go back home, I want- I want this to be your home, our home,” His words almost stop your heart. Shaw, your Shaw, Shaw who refused to let you know how he truly felt almost 90% of the time was asking you to move in with him.

“Forget it, it’s stupid,” He mumbles off after you don’t say anything.

“I’d like that,” You giggle, his face turning to yours as he pulls you close.

“Wait, go outside a minute,” He quickly pushes you off him as he takes his keys out of his pocket and shoves you to the door. Rolling your eyes with a laugh, you follow and wait side, hearing the door lock. “Okay now open it,” he calls out from the other side. You insert the key but it doesn’t unlock.

“You have to jiggle it,” You hear him yell as you follow his words, finally opening the door. The minute you step inside, Shaw pulls you close and wraps him around you.

“Welcome home baby,” He smirks, pressing an electrifying kiss to your lips.

Astrapí -Greek for lightening

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