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televisionboy · 4 years

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this gif is everything skdjdjfn and this is my first alphabet! so give me love and constructive criticism.

taglist: @punkgeekchic @visionsofsweettea @adoresobs @am4sawa @reblogsfandom @evarolines @somethingstuffy

Timothee Chalamet Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dates with Timothee are very very comforting and new at the same time. He LOVES getting out of the house and going to a city where shops are lining every corner and small cafes with coffee to die for. But he also loves to cook you dinner and rehash your days. He’s quite a domestic person.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Timothee finds all of you attractive. But his favorite thing to do is whenever you’re reading a book or the two of you are watching TV, and you’re at one end of the couch and he’s at the other end, he loves to run his hands up and down your legs while they rest in his lap. Drumming his fingers against your knees is like a calming thing

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He doesn’t talk, at all. He’s an incredibly patient boyfriend who will sit there with you and sync your breathing while hugging you. He will listen for hours and hours to you talk about it. And if not, he makes tea for you and offers cuddles and comfortable silences. I mean, either way he always makes tea.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He would love a family with you, he knows you’d be an incredible parent to his children. But he’s content being young, having new experiences and getting to be spontaneous. If he had to think about it, he’d like one or two children and maybe a dog. Living in a cozy but spacious home, of course there’s a pool in the back.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

well, when he’s in the mood, jealous/mad he definitely will be dominant (and especially in bed) but he’s in no way so dominant that you will feel like his maid or a child. But he really doesn’t want to consider your relationship to be that way. Both of you are just you and treat each other equally.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He gets cold when he’s fighting with you. Timothee’s a bit like a younger sibling while fighting, he knows how to push your buttons and won’t stop until he see’s a reaction. But he has that guilty feeling wash over him so fast. He’s very very easy to forgive you because how could he say no to someone like you??

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. He spoils like no other. If you point out that you like a pair of earrings, they’re yours (it doesn’t matter that they’re pure diamonds) you mentioned that you want to see Italy? Tickets booked. And a great thing about him, on top of being a good listener is that he has a great eye. And he picks up on things and is quick to notice them. Which is a big reason he’s so successful in acting. Even if it’s something as simple as washing the dishes so he can relax, to something as kind as making him your very own fan gift.. he melts every time.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mmm, he certainly tries not to but everyone keeps secrets. There are things that both of you prefer to keep private but he wouldn’t keep something like him kissing another woman a secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve inspired him and fueled him to become a stronger actor even if you’re not one yourself. Some of your advice is seriously helpful, and some are unhelpful but hilarious. No matter what you will tell him, he knows you’re waiting at home or even at his set with open arms, waiting for him to win an award and fangirl online to other Timmy fans. It makes him blush and cause a billion butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He trusts you 100% that you would never leave him, and he doesn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who restricts their partner. But there’s a part of him that’s incredibly insecure and is convinced you can do better. There are some parts that WANT you to leave him and do better. He would never ever show it in public, but you can read him well. You’ll put a hand on his bouncing knee and kiss his jaw.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He knows he’s a damn good kisser as well as charmer. You had been on a couple of dates with him, on one you mentioned that it was on your bucket list to be kissed in the rain. He made sure to schedule a date when there would be rain and he took you on a picnic. Towards the end, it had started to pour and you were trying to run back to the car but he grabbed your face and kissed you so hard but so passionately. His curls were dripping and the sandwiches were ruined but the feeling was incredible.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Rightttt after that kiss, in the car you were drying off and laughing with him while the radio was on in the background. The car was on but he wasn’t driving. Instead, he turned to you and told you he was in love with you. Both of you had said “love you” but never “i’m in love with you”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about babies but he knows for certain that he wants to marry you. You know that scene in The Office where Jim shows the engagement ring for Pam and is like “I got it 3 weeks into dating”? That’s Timmy.

He brings you to a premire of one of his movies and at the end when all the credit’s are rolling, it says “y/n will you marry me?” and when you turn back around, Timmy is on one knee and Armie is most likely behind him crying his eyes out.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe” “Baby” “Mon cherie” When you two are married, he’ll join you in the kitchen while cooking dinner and call you “Mrs Chalamet” before kissing your shoulder and beginning to chop veggies. It’s just incredibly domestic

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

so so so obvious and so in love. He shows you off as much as possible and talks about you on talk shows until he’s sure that the audience is annoyed and SNL mocks him (and even then, he’ll continue)

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

he brags but he does know when to dial it back for your own privacy and humility. BUT that doesn’t mean he won’t hold your hand in public, or banter with you on a twitter thread even if you both are right next to each other on the couch playing footsie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a great eye and is quick to pick up on things. It’s almost as if he has certain senses and can tell when you’re having a bad day or upset. He just knows. It’s incredible. He’ll run you a bath and order cake to indulge yourself in before you even get home.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

The most sickley, fluffy, romantic, boyfriend that it makes me sick. Timothee would dye his hair rainbow and cut of his toes if it meant you would smile. On a more romantic note, he pulls out all the stops but it’s a bit more subtle?? Like he is very romantic but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no string quartet and private dining room but there will be jazz and dancing at midnight or a homemade “restaurant” with Timothee as a one man (messy) staff but it’s the best thing you could have ever come home to

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your head cheerleader and the most selfless human ever. Will cheer for you until his voice goes mute and even then, he’s the one clapping the loudest and crying the most.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

both! Timothee is like a dog in some ways. He’s energetic and needs new things, to be outside, to be social. But he craves hugs and cuddling, he adores late night talks with you or watching you make him breakfast while he scrolls through Instagram. Like I said, a very domestic guy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He know’s you like the back of his hand and he could spot you with his eyes closed and only by feeling your face. He knows your habits, and the food you hate, your terrible cooking skills, and the kind of dad jokes you tell, the anxiety ticks, and what shows you’ll watch over and over again.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’d go insane without you. You’re addictive because you have a pure heart and a dirty mind and he falls in love the more you show that. He brings you back the weirdest things that remind him of you. Stationary cards with odd quotes, an antique necklace from the 40′s, peach earrings (because he enables your teasing)

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s like the real version of “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” but a little more loving lol “I love you, but I’m willing to defend my fries”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I said that he’s like a puppy! he needs kisses and scratches to his head (free scalp massage) and he’s a clingy puppy too. i mean, look at his eyes for the love of god.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he aches so bad. He is your cheerleader but he can’t function without you. You’re his cup of coffee, an antidepressant. He’s fangirling inside for your new project but when he sees your mug or reaches to bring you close to his chest and you’re not there, he’s unable to fall asleep or make a cup of coffee.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d travel to Mars and back if you asked him to. Just ask him, and he does it. One time, he was working on a movie with an actress who was quite snippy to you and he quit immediately, feeling incredibly guilty and nauseous. He got you very expensive lox and bagels one morning because you were whining about it the previous night. He doesn’t want to close his eyes at night because there’s so many things he wants to do before he goes on to the next day. But when he closes his eyes at night, it’s all you, you, you, you, you and how much he’s overwhelmed with total adoration for you

#timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet icons #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet smut #fluff #fluff alphabet #x reader #x you

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vermillionbones · 3 years

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I'd love to hear more of your Phobditor HCs!!

ohoho thank you for enabling me anon i am going to kiss you directly on the mouth /pl

also slight warning for spoilers to the new(??) ending of project nexus!! i don't talk explicitly about what happens in general, but the stuff involving phobos is mentioned in the very first hc so for those of you who don't wanna be spoiled you can just skip that one lol. grab sum popcorn lads this one's a long one snbcnkcnvmv

Phobditor HCs!!

rbs very much appreciated 👉👈

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so i hc that phobos didn't actually get banished at the end of MPN, but he did get his ass handed to him to the point where he was so injured and drained of energy that he couldn't use most of his abilities. he went into hiding for a while and eventually found the AAHW, which he proceeded to join since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. after he'd healed and returned to his full strengh the auditor recognised how potentially useful he could be as a second in command, but ofc he'd have to earn her trust first. normally i don't try to make things make sense like this but since the auditor isn't actually in MPN i thought i'd at least try lmao

the auditor: ruthless girlboss by day, feral spouse-adjacent shithead by night

phobos is basically the same but instead he's manipulate mansplain by day and malewife manwhore by night /hj

before they got closer they'd never really physically interacted w/ each other, so phobos kind of assumed the auditor would be at least slightly painful to touch [cuz yknow. she's made of fire lmao]. plus he'd witnessed her setting things and people on fire with her bare hands before and he'd rather not get turned into a walking bonfire, thanks. the closest she'd ever been to touching him previously was like flicking the antenna on his helmet to piss him off

but like way, WAY later he finds out that audi can actually manipulate the temperature of their flames to an extent, so when they touch his hand for the first time he's really surprised when they're just like. pleasantly warm. kinda like the fuzziness you feel after you drink something hot but on the outside of your body

however this has also resulted in phobos using her as a mobile safety blanket lmao. sometimes if it gets too cold in the office he'll wander up to her and bug her until she folds a wing around him and tucks his head under her chin

when he's being a shithead sometimes she'll just pick him up by the back of his jacket and drag him off like a disobedient kitten lmao

They don't really have a super crazy height difference normally [i hc that audi is around 6'3 and phobos is 5'10 if he's not slouching] but sometimes she just morphs herself to have a several-foot height advantage just to fuck with him. like she'll appear in his office as this 9-foot-tall behemoth and he'll just be like "?? excuse me?? ma'am?? you can't do this to me???"

before he got to know her better, phobos had no idea the auditor preferred she/they pronouns over they/it like the agents around him seemed to think. he never made a big deal out of it and never explicitly brought it up, but he remembers to switch it up for her every now and then. plus whenever audi overhears him doing that she gets all fuzzy inside sfbfnckvj

phobos really likes her wings. he actually might be a little jealous of them, but he'd never tell her that sfvngk

ever since audi found out about this, they tend to subtly unfurl them and use them to gesticulate more when he's around. occasionally she'll use the claws at the peaks of her wings on touchscreens in place of a finger n stuff. she's also [gently] swatted him upside the head with a wing a few times when he was being a dickhead, but it doesn't really hurt him lol

she also lets him pet them when they're not busy. contrary to what he'd assumed, it doesn't actually feel like a whole lot to her - she's described the feeling as something similar to how it feels to have someone tracing their fingers along the back of your hand

phobos stims sometimes!! he has a bad habit of masking while he's working since a few of them are vocal and he doesn't want to distract anyone, but if he's just hanging out with audi he's totally chill. one of his more common ones is when he thinks out loud, either quietly narrating his current train of thought or saying unrelated words - usually confirmations like 'yeah' or 'mhm' - out loud cuz he thinks they're fun to say. occasionally he'll start humming low in his throat kinda like a microwave cuz he likes how his voice feels in his chest

also when he's standing idle sometimes he holds his arms closer to his chest and fidget with them

the auditor doesn't stim, but to people who know them well their wings are like big signs that can wordlessly describe how they're feeling [which is like my favourite thing to write cos wing emoting is really fun skdjbknk]. occasionally they might subtly flutter their wings when they're very pleased or receive good news, or flare them out when they're irritated/stressed

i always forget that phobos is actually like super powerful in canon so i hc that audi does too lmao. like it always slips her mind that he can teleport too so she'll dramatically disappear after telling him off for doing some dumb shit and fuckin scream when he somehow appears in the same room as her less than a second later

phobos has a red and black lava lamp in his office!! he'd never admit it but he got it cuz it reminds him of audi :]

phobos loves watching audi in combat for some reason. i mean he already likes watching them do stuff so he can backseat drive, but he's also quietly admitted that her fighting style is interesting to watch

he can't really put it into words, but it's because the way they fight looks incredibly effortless and fluid, mainly due to them having so much time to adapt to and understand their powers [both their original powers and the ones granted by the halo]. when phobos' own abilities started to surface he was incredibly unstable and struggled to properly harness them for months, so he thinks it's nice to watch someone who actually knows what they're doing for once.

much to the auditor's surprise, phobos is actually a bit insecure behind all that confudence, particularly about scars. after being close to her for a while, phobos came out of his shell a bit and explained how he managed to grant himself his powers/abilities, which is something i'll absolutely go further in depth with later [via a longer hc that i'm gonna post eventually lol] but to summarise he basically infused himself with raw madness in what he's eloquently dubbed 'the incident'. Of course, doing that to himself didn't come without consequence, and he's permanently scored with a variation of lightning & burn scars on his forearms, thighs, and most of his torso.

for the longest time, the most casual thing he'd wear even around just her was the long-sleeved sweater he wore underneath his trench coat, and he refused to change even if he was literally overheating. though eventually after he told her about what happened he felt way more comfortable and now whenever they're in their shared room audi practically has to throw a shirt at him to get him to wear one sbkcjcnk

the auditor has a sort of subspace/pocket dimension where they can store different items and recall them at will. normally it's pretty empty, but ever since she grew to like phobos she's started keeping miscellaneous things in there for him. sometimes she pulls out a drink or snack that he likes, sometimes she pulls out a little water gun with phobos' name scrawled on it and shoots him with it when he's being a shithead

they are both,, SO fucking touch-starved. like they will not let go of each other [at least if they're not currently in the middle of something or around agency employees] cuz internally they're both just going "wow!!! that's a hand i'm holding!!!!! there's a hand holding my hand!!!! wow!!!!!! i love this!!!!!"

having one eye isn't exactly the best thing for depth perception, especially when you're really tired, so sometimes audi has to hold phobos' hand and guide him around in the mornings because he can [and has] walked into walls and counters

even since before they became a thing, phobos had been a little envious of the auditor's halo and the powers it granted her. he used to subtly try to yoink it from her, maliciously at first but far more playfully later, where he'd like lightly grab it and give it a gentle spin above her head like a mobile. but his infatuation with the halo kinda died after she decided to let him borrow/try it out once by allowing him to link with it

by linking i essentially mean like wearing it, but the halo is so powerful that you can't just 'wear' it without letting it bond with a part of you

long story short, he went into it with far too much overconfidence & cockiness and the halo violently rejected him, kind of like how it rejected the auditor once. he wasn't at all prepared for the sheer amount of power that surged through him the moment it started to link with him, so it essentially short-circuited his brain and knocked him unconscious for the better part of a week. when he woke again, the auditor told him he was lucky his head didn't explode and calmly suggested they never tried that again, and he felt inclined to agree.

of course, he still toys with the halo while the auditor's properly linked with it since he knows it can't link to more than one host at a time. and despite his seeming ease and "it's in the past" sort of mentality about the whole event, if someone mentions the concept of him actually taking the halo and linking with it again, he'll shudder and shake his head, saying it's not his place to do so.

the auditor has no doubt it delivered a pretty harsh blow to his ego [being rejected by the thing that would make him a god would prolly do that], but knows he's too prideful to admit that.

audi likes listening to phobos when he goes off on super long monologues, especially if they're like those super cheesy villain monologues. like he could literally be talking about anything and she'll sit there to hear him out, especially if it's less related to work and more about himself

the auditor is super deliberate in the way they pronounce things and they tend to casually drawl their words out to further cement their cool, unbothered boss persona. however the way she talks doesn't really intimidate phobos anymore since he's also been next to her right after she's been woken up, when she's mumbling quietly & slurring some of her words together. he knows the big scary boss side of the auditor is just a persona used for everyone but him, so he feels a lot more at ease with them even when they're trying to be scary

even after being together for a while, phobos still has no fucking idea what the auditor is made of. like he's admitted to her that he's genuinely clueless, and if she lets him he'll spend like 99% of their downtime quietly interacting with her flames [read: curling his fingers through them and petting them] while he muses about his hypotheses for how stuff like her liquidy-shadow form works. they were a little suspicious of his motives at first, but after they relaxed they realised he was just genuinely curious and willing to share his concepts to see if he was right

they have like. the smoothest banter anyone at the agency has seen. like it's super cheesy back-and-forth stuff that wouldn't sound out of place in an 80s sitcom, but it just kinda flows out when they're both comfortable. and ofc they'd deny it if anyone mentioned it but they literally banter like an old married couple lmAO

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#madness combat #madness auditor #madness phobos #phobditor #this ended up being way longer than i anticipated but writing this was the most fun i've had in months /gen #oh and sorry if the formatting is a little fucky lmao #i tried to keep related hcs closer together while setting different ones apart if that makes sense??#gfnsbkjck i had to refrain myself from writing more about certain hcs like audi's wing emoting or phobos fucking up his link with the halo #if anyone wants me to elaborate on those i won't shut up about them ever LMAO #still tysm anon this was very very fun /gen #gel.txt

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asian-hero · 4 years

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Taking Hearts, Stealing Shirts

Submission: Hey! Can you do something with Todoroki and the “Is that my shirt” prompt? Your prompts give me all the feels.

A/N: This was really fun to write after that angsty prompt! It was nice to just write a simple, domestic, lovey-dovey story while listening to some sweet, sweet lofi music. So, enjoy some aged-up, not quite pro-heroes yet Todoroki and his s/o being all kinds of soft

“Is that...my shirt?” from this prompt list (feel free to send in a character and a sentence(s))

Summary: While stealing your boyfriend’s shirts was your favorite pastime, Todoroki was starting to run out of things to wear. So, what’s the next best option? Wearing your shirts. Too bad they’re just a bit too small for him

Words: 1,772

Todoroki Shouto loved you dearly, so much so that his heart nearly bursts with happiness every time he sees you. Even though you two have been together for two years, you still find a way to make him feel as if your relationship just started. Somehow, you make him feel all nervous and giddy and at ease all at once, and, to be quite honest, he doesn’t think that’ll ever change. He hopes it doesn’t.

At the beginning of your relationship, it was safe to say that Shouto was a complete and utter trainwreck. It turns out that, surprise, not having a stable and loving figure in your life can make you wary of all your relationships in the future. Not only this, but it can make you extremely clueless as to how a relationship functions, and whether or not his feelings are “normal” or not. So, when the two of you had finally started going steady, he did his best to be the “perfect” boyfriend that you deserved. He’d walk you to and from your classes silently, open all of the doors for you, take his lunch with you, and, embarrassingly enough, if you ever had a shoe lace come undone, you could bet that he’d stop whatever he was doing to bend down and tie it for you. In hindsight, with him being the ever silent and stoic man he is, to others it could’ve seemed very forced, or somewhat robotic. Luckily for the two of you, you both began to relax and grow comfortable with each other, no longer looking like two awkward school children who just entered their first relationship. Which you were, but the entire school didn’t need to know it.

After the two of you graduated from U.A. and landed your first jobs as heroes, the time you had together was limited. After all, it was already difficult being a hero, let alone dating another one. You always tried to make time for one another, though. Even if it was a quick “lunch” break, at midnight, eating microwavable noodles outside a convenience store. While the two of you did your best to see each other often, it didn’t seem to be enough for the two of you, which was what prompted you to ask Shouto to move into your apartment. The words barely left your mouth before he readily agreed, and before you knew it, the two of you were living together.

Living together had its ups and downs. You both learned about the others habits and living styles very quickly. For example, you learned that, while your lovely boyfriend was amazing at many things, folding laundry was not one of them. The first time you two were doing laundry together, you saw the absolute travesty of Shouto just quickly folding and throwing his shirts into a pile. You were confused as to how someone could be so bad at a simple task, and he was confused as to how you took so long to do a simple task. Eventually, you shooed him out of the way and showed him how to properly fold his clothes, but you don’t think he was paying attention, if the poorly concealed giggles were to say anything. It wasn’t as if you could really say anything, as you had your own faults too. One of them that seemed to annoy Shouto the most was your inability to put away blankets after using them. You’d just, leave them there after you moved to another room. He’d remind you every time to put them away, but every day, without a fault, there’d be at least one blanket that was left out somewhere, whether it be on the couch or the floor. He honestly would be more annoyed if you didn’t look so cute with a guilty smile on your face.

However, one habit that Shouto hoped that you’d keep up was the fact that everyday, without a doubt, you’d steal his shirts for yourself. The first time you took one of his shirts was around the second month of living together. You’d gotten off early from your hero agency, only to get a text from your lovely boyfriend saying that he wouldn’t be back until late, so you shouldn’t bother to wait up for him. Did you understand? Yes, you knew that your hectic schedules would leave you two without a lot of time, so it didn’t bother you that much. Were you going to listen to his advice and go to bed without him? Absolutely not.

So, there you were, at one in the morning, passed out on the couch. When Shouto had walked in, he wasn’t quite sure whether to be angry with you, or if he was just so happy to see you. Once he had walked over to your sleeping form, he decided that not only was he happy to see you, but also that his heart couldn’t take the absolute adorableness that was right in front of his face:

You were all curled up on the couch, your knees tucked in and your hands resting underneath your head. There were pieces of hair that covered your face, and he was sure there was some drool coming out the side of your mouth, but that wasn’t what made his heart skip a beat. Upon further inspection, he noticed you were wearing one of his shirts. It was rather large on you, going all the way down to your mid-thigh, and he couldn’t help but coo at the sight.

When you woke up later that morning in your bed with a smug grin from Shouto, you quietly admitted that you missed him a bit too much, and that his shirts smelled like him. It was that day when he decided that he really liked seeing you in his clothes, and he’d gladly give you anything in his wardrobe if it meant he got to see you wear it.

With his enabling of your habit, however, came the fact that there was more laundry being done at the end of the day. To be more specific, more of his clothes were needed to be washed, because you loved wearing his shirts and he loved seeing you in them. This would’ve been fine, if it weren’t for the fact that Shouto was slowly losing things to wear the next day. There were multiple occasions when he’d need to find a very specific button up shirt to wear for an event he was to attend, only to find you wearing that exact shirt he needed. Since he was weak when it came to you, he wouldn’t say anything, and then he’d end up with a travesty of an outfit, which Momo would certainly call him out for.

It wasn’t only his formal shirts though. No, it was also his regular t-shirts, his sweaters, his hoodies, and anything else you could get your hands on. While he thought you looked ten times better than he would in his clothes, it wasn’t as if he could just go out without his shirts, despite your constant encouragements for him to just leave the house like that. As much as you liked to compliment his figure, he was sure that going to his workplace shirtless would be a bad idea. Or, going anywhere shirtless that wasn’t the beach would be a bad idea.

So, on one peaceful morning, when most of Shouto’s shirts were in the washing machine, and there was an incessant knocking at the door, rather than waking you up to go and get it, or to give him his shirt for a minute, he decided to do the next best thing: blindly reach for something that felt shirt-like while groggily walking towards the door. However, once he had pulled on whatever shirt he grabbed, there were only two thoughts running through his mind: “why is it so tight?” and “did I gain weight?”

These thoughts only seemed to grow once he had opened the door to a very flustered mailman. The poor man wouldn’t even look at the hero, and when he’d finished signing for the package, the mailman quickly left, not so much as a “goodbye.”

In his confusion, Shouto didn’t hear you shuffle your way into the living room, rubbing your eyes of all the sleepiness. When you finally got a good look at the man, you blinked a few times before saying anything.

“Honey?”

His head whipped towards you, slightly startled at your intrusion. Once he had fully turned towards you, you couldn’t help the laughter that tore its way from your throat.

“Is that…my shirt?”

Looking down at himself, he realized that yes, he was in fact, wearing your shirt, and, thankfully, he hadn’t gained any excess weight in the past few days. Rubbing the back of his neck, he felt a slight blush creep up his neck. At least he knew why that mailman acted the way he did.

“Ah, I didn’t know it was yours,”

You bit your lip in an attempt to keep any more giggles from coming out. It didn’t work. “What do you mean you didn’t know? It’s at least two sizes too small for you, it barely comes down to your stomach!”

He crossed his arms, huffing in mock annoyance, though you could see the small smile trying to make its appearance. Walking over to him, you gave him a quick peck, patting his exposed stomach.

“Honey, if you wanted to wear my shirts, you could’ve just asked,”

With a click of his tongue, he flicked your forehead lightly, moving away from you and towards the kitchen. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

You pranced behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist while attempting to look over his shoulder. “What’s in the box?”

“New rice cooker,”

“Oh?” You let out, eyebrows lifting ever so slightly, “Replacing the one you broke?”

“I did not break it, yours was old.”

“You don’t just smack a rice cooker into submission, Shouto. You broke it.”

He waved one of his hands, as if dismissing you. Gasping, as if offended, you proceeded to lightly dig your fingers into his sides, making the man let out a shocked laugh. He tried to pry you away from him, but you latched onto him like a leech, refusing to let go. If anyone else were to walk in on you two, they certainly would’ve turned around and left.

Yes, Todoroki Shouto loved you dearly, and one day, he hoped to make you a Todoroki as well. But, for now, he’d settle with trying to escape his ticklish doom.

#bnha #mha #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha imagines #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shouto #shoto todoroki #submission

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nobutlikeimobessedwithbutchlogan · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu Rambles (College au? but covid exists)

Forward:

Suga & Daichi are college dorm mates

Their dorm is connected to 2 other suites so they have access to a fridge & utilities to cook

i don’t mention their other suite mates this oneshot focuses on Suga & Daichi

Covid shut down their school

classes are still in session virtually

all students must stay in their dorms unless absolutely necessary (so to go & buy groceries)

Over their years rooming together, Suga has acquired lots of stuff to make coffee

he has a milk frother, french press/ a bunch of stuff

so Suga can make many various caffeinated beverages (he’s like a mini-barista)

Suga drinks coffee.

Too much, in Daichi’s humble opinion.

He has at least 4 cups everyday. Sometimes more.

CONCERNINGLY MORE.

An iced macchiato for his 7am class. Why did Suga think signing up for this class would be a good idea? He doesn’t know. Suga supposes that if he were in the classroom instead of taking classes out of his dorm room things might be different, but now he wishes past Suga had been kinder to present Suga... because can’t keep his eyes open for Calc class without coffee-in-hand. Thankfully Bokuto is in the class too & asks a question every 5 minutes which keeps the class engaged, but Suga has to wonder how Bokuto can somehow be so loud over Zoom. It’s uncanny.

An americano at 11am for la clase de español. Sitting in a bean-chair near the window for some natural light, Suga sips from his cup & listens as la profesora talks. They’re going into breakout zooms to discuss their opinions on what happened in the last episode of “Gran Hotel” they had to watch for homework, & he sadly puts the americano down to unmute. Akaashi is randomly assigned his partner today, so the two hablan sobre las problemas de Julio y Alicia.

A cold brew at 2pm for Literature. At this point, all the earlier caffeine has worn off, so Suga needs something strong to keep him going. This class is both a blessing & a curse; they only meet once a week, but their sessions are 2 & half hours long. They’re dreadful. At least Daichi takes the class as well, so they can share a monitor and sit under a warm blanket together during class, but not even cuddles can make the class end sooner. After a while of listening to the professor lecture about the peculiarities of the syntax of some Shakespeare poem, Suga feels like his brain has turned to mush, and sips of the cold brew force his internal systems to remain awake, just for a little longer.

A few shots of straight expresso at 4pm to study. On days like today, all of Suga’s classes finish in the morning, so getting work done as soon as possible means he can go to bed as soon as possible. A while ago Suga tried one of those bang energy drinks Noya had told him about, but it was too sugary. Suga likes his coffee plain, which surprised a lot of his friends, but he just can’t handle that much sweetness in a beverage. He’d rather eat something sweet alongside his coffee to balance out the bitterness. But with the bean juice flowing through his veins, he feels motivated to tackle his assignments and aggressively gets to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daichi is concerned.

As Suga’s roommate, he feels like it’s partially his responsibility if Suga gets a heart attack from too much coffee, but google says that a lethal amount of caffeine is around 30 cups of coffee... It would be pretty difficult to drink that much coffee in one sitting (right? right?!?!?!?), but still, Daichi is worried.

Seeing Suga spend hours up each night working so diligently on his homework so he can succeed makes him feel proud, yet at the same time increasingly frustrated that Suga’s dream degree seems to be slowly eating away at his health.

Watching Suga start to shake on the daily due to caffeine is not something he wants to get used to, but hopefully the habit will die off as the quarter ends (soon! thank goodness).

Daichi sits on his bed, pondering different ways he can help Suga ease his workload, when a loud slam pulls him from his thoughts. Suga has fallen asleep on his textbook.

Suga would want to be woken up, but seeing how easily Suga can fall asleep even after a consuming a double(?) expresso is quite concerning. He must be beyond exhausted. Still, knowing that he would get an earful for not waking him up earlier, Daichi sets an hour timer on his phone. He’ll wake up Suga then.

And while he’s not one to enable Suga’s bad habits, maybe in the meantime he’ll try to make Suga some coffee. But preferably one with a lower caffeine concentration.

Walking to their suite’s kitchen area and getting out the milk frother & coffee beans, Daichi wonders if he could possibly pass off hot chocolate as coffee. He doesn’t think Suga would buy it, but it’s worth a shot.

#haikyuu #sugawara #suga #suga fanfic #sugawara fic #daichi #look y'all i wrote this #coffee #caffeine #daisuga #daisuga roomates #haikyuu college au #school is stressful #suga drinks too much coffee #can you tell how much coffee i've drank over quarantine #haikyuu rambles #haikyuu drabbles #daisuga dorm mates

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softbiker · 4 years

Text

Steve Rogers One Shot

Warnings: language, no editing

Word count: 5.1k (I have no excuses for this, I don’t know what happened)

Summary: Things get a little warm on a mission downtown.

A/N: Another piece in the Agent 14 series! If you’re not familiar, I suggest checking out the masterlist first so you’ve got a background on my girl’s prior association to a particular star-spangled man ;) As always, let me know what you think!

There are certain hours of the morning that Bucky would happily never see.

4:30 a.m. he could absolutely do without.

Bleary-eyed, stiff, tasting his own stale breath, he rubs at his prickled cheeks as he yawns. Why the hell did he agree to do this? He should be back in bed - he’d give his bottom dollar to be in his cozy little blanket nest right about now…he’d had to leave 28’s apartment so damn early to get back to the tower in time to grab his running clothes. To his own nose, he still smelled of sex and her bedsheets; but with a change of clothes and his hair tucked under his vintage Dodgers cap, he hoped no one would notice. Just to be safe he had splashed a few drops of cologne on his shirt and his pulse - he knew Steve’s nose was sensitive enough to pick up on the scent. Too much of a risk.

The elevator chimes brightly and opens to reveal the man of the hour - the man of this hour, who loves that pre-dawn dewy sweetness that even city air can have, before the whole machine of it hums to life. Even Steve seems a little sleepy, ruddy flush in his pale cheeks, his normally neat beard looking unkempt. The length of his hair is swept beneath his own hat, a red one bearing the NASA logo, and he’s managed to fit all of his muscled mass into the straining seams of a Nike running shirt. Jesus but he looked like some kind of ad for protein powders, one that would have gym rats scrambling - or better yet, a poster to get elementary school kids to drink their milk.

“Mornin’ Buck,” Steve smiles, rolling his shoulders and stretching a little. “You ready?”

Bucky merely grunts in assent and shuffles into the elevator, little box stuffed to capacity with the width of their shoulders.

“Down a floor, please, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” Steve requests. He is unfailingly courteous to the AI, even when Tony’s not around. Bucky can relate. Their old-fashioned manners are hard to shake, even with both feet firm in the 21st century. “We’re picking up Sam, too.”

“Ugh,” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I thought we were going for a run this morning; bring Sam and we might as well just power-walk around the mall like old people.”

“Buck, we are old people.”

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky yawns again, his breath leaving a puff of fog on his metal hand as he half-heartedly covers his mouth. “Took a quiz on WebMD - my biological age is only 28.”

Steve doesn’t respond - he refuses to dignify Bucky’s weird internet expeditions. Too curious for his own good, he often falls down these virtual rabbit holes, only resurfacing hours later, red-eyed and chap-lipped, uncharacteristically babbling in a twitchy-fingered frenzy about moon-landing conspiracies or the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand. It always takes him a little while, a few good-natured jabs from the team, before he comes back to his normal self. The only person who’s ever been really interested in his crackpot ravings is the Parker kid - but Peter doesn’t come around too often, prioritizing his schoolwork, and even then, Steve is almost certain he’s enabling Bucky’s bad habits more than anything.

Like Bucky, Sam is waiting in front of the elevator, dressed in his running shorts and favorite purple t-shirt. He squints, puffy-eyed and pouting, at the offensively harsh light coming from the open elevator doors, hitting him full in the face.

“You old farts really like to get up early, huh?” he grumbles, shuffling between them in the already cramped elevator. “Some of us still need our beauty sleep.”

“Yeah, it looks like you haven’t been getting any,” Bucky says drily, leaning one hip against the wall.

“Mm, cause I’m too busy gettin’ some-”

“Sam,” Steve interrupts, sounding every inch the exasperated father. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“What?” Sam raises his hands in defense. “All I’m saying is, Tin Man can talk about his beauty rest while he goes to bed alone - that’s fine with me. Only way he’s getting dates is under threat of force.”

It’s fleeting, almost shy, that quirk in the corner of Bucky’s lips; he tucks it away just as quickly, turning his face towards the floor and tugging his cap down a little further. The shadow of the bill covers his eyes from Steve’s gaze, but he still aims a frown at Sam over Bucky’s head.

“Can you two at least try to get along?” he sighs, fighting to keep his own face neutral, stern, in spite of the hours of entertainment he gets watching his friends pretend they wouldn’t take a bullet for each other.

“Hey, he started it,” Sam protests on his way out of the elevator, skipping his feet to stay ahead of Bucky’s last ditch attempt to trip him.

Oy vey, Steve thinks, but he just rolls his eyes and follows them, a half-beat behind and listening to their muttered jabs traded back and forth as they make their way down the front steps and out of the building into the crisp New York morning.

A blanket of humidity holds the air close, promising a beautiful morning and a sweltering afternoon. In the pre-dawn hush, they stretch and warm up their muscles, Sam a little more intensely than the other two, as the only one in any real danger of hurting himself. He props one hand against a bench and swings one leg a few times, then the other, loosening his hamstrings. They’re a little quieter now, the close, quiet dark dampening their voices, though New York would protest their reverence for its show of sleep - even now, the headlights streak past them along the streets, buildings twinkling high into the skyline, crowding out the stars. Some jumping jacks, high knees - Sam is more careful of his tight hip these days - and then they’re off.

Despite some historical evidence to the contrary, most of which Bucky holds hostage, Steve Rogers isn’t a complete asshole. Which is why he always lets Sam set the pace when they run together - otherwise they wouldn’t be running together. Bucky complains, but Steve knows it’s just for show; Buck doesn’t really care about running (“Why do I need to run when no one’s shooting at me, Steve?”), so he’s not too pressed about going slow.

Falling into step, filling the width of the sidewalk, they make their way up to Central Park. If asked, Steve would say that he hates living in Manhattan - that his suite at the tower was opulent to the point of being oppressive, that he’d take his old one-room place in the Heights with Bucky over this near-embarrassing level of excess. But there is something to it, the glitter and chrome, the thrumming pulse of the city right at his fingertips, right there in the middle of it all, that he could never quite give up.

They take their time, keeping pace with Sam, on their first lap around the park; there are a few other runners out in the park at this hour, taking advantage of the lack of traffic and milling tourists to get in a few good miles. Some nod or lift their fingers as they pass, certainly recognizing their local celebrities, but no one stops, no one stares. Avengers are a common enough sight in this part of town; Steve can only speak for himself, but he certainly doesn’t mind the lack of attention.

On their second lap, the first hint of a glowing gradient lighting up the sky, Steve glances over at Bucky; neither of them are sweating - not even breathing hard. Sam on the other hand, while still managing a conversation, has beads of sweat forming on his forehead, a dark stain forming on the front of his shirt. Both Steve and Bucky can hear the extra beats of his heart, pounding a more fragile rhythm than their own steady beat; his lungs strain a little harder. Looking at Steve, Bucky cocks a silent eyebrow, darts his eyes to Sam and back again. Steve shrugs back, willing to let him make the call.

Suddenly, with practiced precision, they dart around Sam on either side and pull ahead, gaining ground and speed with every stride. With a final cry of “Assholes!” fading behind them, they leave Sam in the dust, stretching out their enhanced legs - wild horses set loose, they gallop in a blinding and furious pace, the bill of Steve’s cap flying up and nearly leaving his head before he grips it and tugs it down tighter against his skull. The trees streak past, glimpses of city lights blurred between, as they top out their speed, dodging bewildered joggers and dog walkers perilously found in their path.

It takes a moment for Steve to recognize the sound, to realize that Bucky is laughing; another moment later, he’s joining in - hardly knowing why and refusing to ask. With a pang, he remembers how often that laugh filled his life, echoed in his home, followed his shuffling footsteps on the sidewalk. It comes with the same underwhelming force as the sunrise, quiet and brilliant and inevitable, streaking joy across the horizon - they are here, they are alive, they found their way home. Steve remembers being 17 and 90 pounds and choking on his first drop of whiskey but still winding up drunk on his own youth, knees knocking Bucky’s where they dangled from the fire escape, feeling as though he could eat the world raw. He could take a bite from it this morning - him and Buck, they could devour it.

It’s useless to try to count the miles when they move this fast; no running app has yet managed to track them accurately, and besides, they could both easily run a marathon with no training. Their runs are mostly for fun - well, Steve finds it fun, the way he finds jumping out of airplanes fun, or leaping over moving cars, or throwing objects he didn’t know he could lift. There’s something about his recklessness being rewarded, through the sheer steel strength of his enhanced body, matched only by the pure-bred stubbornness of his character, that bubbles endorphins in his brain like nothing else.

Almost nothing else.

Up ahead, he notices the back of Sam’s shirt; they’ve lapped the park again, coming up on him from behind. Next to him, Steve watches the swing of a familiar ponytail, half-mesmerized by the way it sways in the sun. Then she’s turning halfway to laugh at something Sam has said, and it’s-

He stumbles over his own toes but recovers before actually falling, Bucky throwing out a hand to steady him at the elbow, and they slow their pace, settling into a jog as they catch up to Sam and his companion.

“You alright, pal?” Bucky asks, chewing his lip as he considers Steve.

“Yeah, fine,” Steve shrugs him off. They’re right behind them now, steps alerting the other two of their presence; she turns, Sam too, to see who’s coming.

Along her forehead, the sweet little baby hairs cling to her skin, wetted down with sweat. Sunlight gleams on her cheekbones, and he wonders if that’s sweat, too. She settles her hands on her hips as she turns towards him, the corner of her mouth lifted in a breathless smile.

“Morning, Cap,” she says, flicking a loose strand of hair back from her face. The weather is beautiful, sun bright and strong, and she’s wearing a red crop top and running shorts, wireless headphones tucked in her ears. Music must be paused though, because he can’t hear anything coming through them.

“Morning,” he smiles back, lifting his cap to sweep a hand through his sweaty hair before settling it back on his head. A faint, self-conscious note sounds in his brain, and he tries to remember if he brushed his teeth this morning before leaving his room.

At his shoulder, Bucky clears his throat conspicuously.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met.” Bucky sticks out his hand, armed with a boyishly charming smile. “I’m Bucky.”

She shakes his hand, smiling back and offering a name, pretending not to notice Steve’s blink of surprise. Was that - surely she wouldn’t offer her real name? He didn’t even know so much as her favorite color. He zones out of the small talk bouncing between the other three, Sam sharing how they’d joined up on their respective runs, lamenting the way his so-called friends left him behind. All Steve has is a number, that and-

“Would anyone be up for some coffee?” he asks when there’s a break in the conversation.

She lifts one brow, her eyes following his as he looks to his friends.

“Oh, you know I was just thinking the same thing,” Sam nods, rubbing his hands together. “Great minds, Steve.” He taps his temple, the same way Peter does sometimes when the kid is feeling sarcastic. Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Can’t believe you two are what qualifies as great minds these days,” he grumbles, combing an errant hair behind his ear. Sam takes a swing at his shoulder but misses, and they fall in together, walking towards the coffee shop, hardly noticing if the other two are following.

With a little skip, she smiles at Steve and starts after them, his strides a little shorter to match hers. Birds chirp overhead, fading in and out of the hum of the now-busy streets and park lanes. Steve steals furtive glances, trying to decide whether or not she has freckles across the bridge of her nose.

“So.” He starts, then stops himself.

“So?”

He tilts his chin up, repeating the name she’d given to Sam and Bucky.

“Yes?” 14 smirks, tugging up the waistband of her shorts.

“I mean, that isn’t…” he flounders. “It’s not…you, is it? Your real name?”

“Hmm,” she purses her lips, squinting at the men ahead of them. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

**********

He’s in his office, draining the dregs of his americano - blonde shots, a sprinkle of cinnamon - when F.R.I.D.A.Y. pages him.

“Captain Rogers, you’re needed in the briefing room - there’s a situation,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says over the intercom, soft Irish brogue managing to sound coolly concerned. Steve stands from his desk, coffee left behind.

“On my way.”

Another day, another bomb - Avenging is never dull, and why should it be? Sometimes Steve wonders if a strange law of attraction is at work in their violently non-traditional career; if it’s the insanity of every crisis they’re called to answer that has made them what they are - or, as he often suspects, is it actually the reverse?

Tony is at the head of the conference table, flicking through projected images with quick fingers, the rest of the team already seated. No one looks up when he slips into the room.

“If these preliminary scans are accurate, it looks like we’ve got explosives - sophisticated ones, I might add; really, even I’m a little impressed, which as we all know, is a pretty-”

“Tony,” Steve says, taking his own seat at the front of the table. Righteous brow lowering. “Focus.”

Tony makes a face, but impressively withholds whatever comment rises to the tip of his tongue; blowing a harsh sigh past his lips, he goes on with the briefing.

“Right, as I was saying,” he says. “We’ve got some idea of the type of devices we’re dealing with-”

“Devices? Plural?” Nat clarifies. Her pen taps a quick beat against her notepad.

“Yes,” Bruce speaks up, standing a few feet away from Tony, cracking the knuckles of his left hand. “Based on the energy signatures coming from the building, we have three distinct focal points of radiation - so I’d put my money on three devices.”

A beat of silence in the room; gravity pulling harder at their legs and stomachs, the weight of this job, this calling, sits heavy like lead. Clint stretches his arm across the back of 41’s chair. Sam leans forward, elbows on the table, meeting Steve’s eyes for a moment. They carry that weight differently, each one. It takes a moment, a thought, as each of them readjusts it, gets used to it, rolls their shoulders to feel it settle.

And then, they get up.

“Alright - all hands on deck for this one,” Steve nods, eyes circling the table. “We’ll divide into assault, evacuation, and extraction teams. Wheels up in 15.” He looks at Tony once more, now rolling up the sleeves of his well-cut silk shirt.

“Let’s suit up.”

**********

He’s first to the jet, his apartment being closest to the hangar, and he sits in the cockpit going over blueprints for the high-rise business complex they were about to save. A tech conglomerate operates in the upper half of the building, taking nearly half the available square footage; the lower floors are occupied by a couple of smaller companies, start-ups enjoying their first windfall of success. Absentmindedly rubbing his beard, Steve wonders why here, why this target. A personal score to settle, underhanded business deals padding the margins of their accounts? Nothing rings true; even F.R.I.D.A.Y.’S analysis suggested this building was a random target.

Whatever the case, his team is going in there, and he’s not letting them walk in unprepared. So he reads the schematics, twice, three times. Scans Banner’s notes on the radiation readings, what type of bombs they would be dealing with. Mentally, he begins sorting his team into smaller units; he knows 28 has some experience with bombs, Nat, too. They’d pair well for an extraction team, with instructions from Stark and Banner on the jet. Sam and 41 could handle evac, if emergency services hadn’t already emptied the building - probably he’d take Bucky and Wanda in for a strike team; the three of them could handle any lingering thugs who were stupid enough to stick around after planting heavy explosives.

His fingers tap quickly, unconsciously, against his thigh as he hears the team piling into the jet, jostling each other and trading playful insults; pre-mission nerves manifesting in their tight smiles and compulsive weapons-checking - tightening and re-tightening holsters, checking harness straps, dropping to their seats still poised and upright, muscles unwilling to relax. Stalking up the center aisle, Tony joins him in the cockpit. He claps Steve on the shoulder with a (thankfully, unsuited) hand.

“Ready to roll, Cap?” he says, rolling a piece of peppermint from one side of his mouth to the other.

Steve nods, stoic jaw set firm. He watches the control panel of the jet light up under Tony’s hands.

“Born ready.”

“Oh - we got an extra pair of hands, by the way,” Tony comments, nonchalant. He gestures over his shoulder with his chin. “She’s back there - I’m starting to think Fury only recruits beautiful women; wonder what his secret is.”

The comment makes him stop, makes him hope, and then hope not- Steve swivels in his seat and rises, taking a step to look back towards the body of the jet.

She’s smiling at something Clint just said, buckling into her seat on his other side, one down from Agent 41. Once again wearing her white catsuit, hair held back in a sleek braid, 14 pulls down a little on the harness of her seat, making sure it’s well-secured. There’s a beat before she notices, realizes that he’s noticed; she lifts her hand in a little wave when she sees him standing there.

“Hi, Cap,” she says. Her head tilts to one side, braid falling down over one shoulder. “Long time no see.”

Sam’s mouth opens and closes, making a little noise as he looks between the two of them.

“Wait,” he says, holding up a hand. “Wait. Hold up -” He repeats the name she gave them this morning, eyebrows knotting close together. “Am I missing something? Y’all know each other?”

Steve props an arm against the frame of the jet arcing above his head, feeling his cheeks heat under the new scrutiny the team directs his way. His shoulders curl in a little, his other hand reaching for his beard. In the moment, he’s not sure what to say - what to call her, what they are (friends, colleagues, certainly not partners) - and he chews his lip for a long and uncomfortable moment while the others examine his increasingly embarrassed face.

It’s Agent 41 who finally takes pity on him, huffing a sigh around the sour gummy worm hanging from the corner of her mouth.

“There’s a lot of secret agents you haven’t met yet, Sam,” she says. The limp, sugar-coated worm inches its way into her mouth as she works her lips, tucking it into her cheek. “Cause, you know, we’re secret.”

“Boom, roasted.” Clint makes a little mic drop motion with one hand, his other one working its way into the crinkling bag of gummies on 41’s lap.

Sam, attention diverted, scowls at the two of them. Now forgotten, Steve watches as Clint throws tiny pieces of sour worms at Sam’s head, never missing despite his attempts at dodging them. With a soft smile, 14 throws a wink in Steve’s direction.

Shaking his head, he turns back to the cockpit and reaches for his notes, ready to break down the plan.

**********

“Rogers, get the others out of the building.” It’s Nat’s voice, tight and panicked over the com lines.

“Romanoff?” He’s jogging up the stairwell, finger pressed to the device in his ear.

“Now, Steve.” Her characteristic sarcasm, dry and vivid in her husky voice, is gone. This is Nat, and he knows she wouldn’t sound the alarm for no reason.

“Understood.” They’re two floors above him, and he pushes his legs harder, faster. “Sam, Wanda, Tony - get the team out. The rest of the building is empty.” One more flight. “Romanoff, 28, I’m on my way up to you.”

Voices crackle over the line, confirming his orders, the team falling out one by one. Confirmation when they rendezvous on the jet, hovering a safe distance above the the skyline. Steve kicks through the bolted stairwell door and takes two left turns down glass-walled hallways, the map in his head guiding him through the frustrating maze of identical conference rooms and offices, dodging and leaping the sparse and sleek modern furniture crowding an abandoned reception room.

He finds them hunched over the harmless-looking black box, left in an unused cleaning closet - but it’s Agent 14, not 28, with her hands fluttering over an exposed circuit board while Nat looks on, curled white knuckles pressed against her mouth.

“Where’s Agent 28?”

“With the second device, lower half of the building,” 14 mutters, not looking up.

“Status?”

Natasha scowls, but she doesn’t look at him either.

“Not good.”

“The devices are all linked,” 14 says. She licks her lips, using a pair of tweezers to carefully reverse the position of a set of wires connected directly to the battery terminals. “Every time we disarm one, it receives a signal from one of the others that re-arms it.”

Steve watches her concentrate on the circuit board, a few frazzled hairs escaping her braid.

“How much time do we have?” he asks, feeling the muscles in the back of his neck tighten. Natasha finally turns, the grave line of her mouth answering him before she even speaks.

“Minutes - maybe less.” She shakes her head. “Is everyone out?”

“Building’s empty,” Steve confirms, fingers going to the comm device in his ear. “Stark - what’s our blast radius look like? This building’s gonna blow.”

Tony’s voice appears in his ear, only a second later.

“Of course it is,” he says, voice bright and resigned. “How did I not see that one coming?” Over the line, Steve hears a harsh sigh, and then Tony’s voice reappears. “We’re looking at the whole block, Steve, maybe more - emergency services already evacuated the surrounding buildings and they’ve created a perimeter, but we can’t be certain of the damage till they, you know, explode.”

“Any ideas on containment?”

“Gimme a minute,” Tony huffs. “In the meantime, you guys better start hauling ass.”

Steve turns to Nat and 14; they both already have their eyes on him. He nods, quick and commanding, authority drawing up his posture.

“You heard him,” he says. “Let’s go.”

Nat and 14 are already on their feet, and he brings up the rear as they dart out of the room and back the way they came, weaving around towards the stairs and tearing down the staircase at a breakneck pace.

They’re 2 flights from the ground floor when 14 stops, wild-eyed and panting, braid half-loose, and seizes Steve’s arm.

“28,” she says, fingernails digging into the thick fabric of his uniform. “28 never confirmed, is she -?”

Steve tugs her along after Nat, still sprinting down the stairs, and taps his comm device.

“28? Status, 28 - are you out of the building?”

The line stays quiet, heartbeats and harsh breaths in their ears.

“28? Come in, 28.”

Radio silence.

14 stops short, whirling around and away from Steve and back towards the door to the second level - 28’s last known location. Clenching his jaw, he shouts down the stairs to a waiting Natasha, who stands a flight below, tensed to spring back up the stairs after them.

“Natasha - you go, meet the others at the jet and help coordinate evac,” he says, feet already following 14. “We’ll get 28 and rendezvous with the team.”

“But-”

“Go, Nat!”

It takes him 3 seconds to catch up to her, pushing through the door and taking one look at the open floor-plan office before turning right and hustling through the neatly arranged desks towards the utility closet at the other end of the suite.

“She was here the last time she checked in,” 14 breathes, wiping her brow. Two steps ahead of her, Steve wrenches the door open.

The device lays dismantled in the center of the room, mechanical guts exposed to the drafty air - but the closet is otherwise empty, with exception of a few cleaning supplies shoved into a corner. An overturned yellow mop bucket, spray bottles with faded labels, a pair of rubber gloves.

He can hear 14’s heart rate escalate, tapping furiously at her own comm device.

“28 where are you? Come in, 28?” Her voice is thin, breath harsh from their sprint. She licks her lips as she waits for a response. Each second that passes, her eyes flit around the room again, glassy and unfocused, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

A voice that neither of them expects appears in their ears.

“28’s fine,” Bucky says, voice rough but clear. “Signal from the bomb made her line cut out. We’re outside the building, en route to the rendezvous point.”

Their eyes meet and the shared relief washes over them, soothing for the space of a heartbeat - before the device, innocuous and waiting, begins beeping with a menacing frenzy.

Without a word, Steve grips 14’s wrist and makes a mad dash for the other end of the floor. They pass the stairwell door, still swinging open, and head straight for the floor-to-ceiling windows exposing the bright afternoon sunlight outside.

Between 1943 and 1945, the number of burning buildings Steve jumped out of could be conservatively estimated at around a dozen. Bucky would argue for more, but considering the lack of other eyewitnesses, it was really anyone’s guess at this point. Regardless, it’s not the first time he’s found himself trying to outrun the laws of physics, hell quite literally at his heels - his fingers close tighter around 14’s and he glances at her face as he tucks her under one arm.

“Ready?” he breathes. Her eyes are on the window. She licks her lips, opens them to respond.

Then the building blows up.

**********

When he saw the flames blow out the windows, glass tinkling downward in a delicate deadly rain, Tony’s heart remembered the feeling of shrapnel.

“Shit.” He enhances the camera view on the explosion, scanning the surrounding street. “Steve? Come in, Rogers.” Smoke billows up, reaching ever higher towards the skyline. “Rogers? Steve?”

On the ground, Sam turns towards the police perimeter, pushing his way through the rubberneckers and uniforms. Already people are gawking at the scene, cell phones poised to record the disaster, worth at least a few likes and retweets. His feet pick up into a jog and he ducks between the roadblocks, no one even attempting to stop him.

“Come on, come on,” he mutters. The smoke starts to sting his eyes and he lowers his goggles, coughing a little. Even from this distance, still a couple hundred feet, he can feel the greedy heat of the flames, already licking their way up more than half of the enormous high rise. He keeps going until the heat is just too oppressive, the force of it too harsh and blistering; but he stands his ground, squinting through the smoke and ash, one arm pressed to his mouth and nose.

The glint of red is the first thing he sees.

“I’ve got ‘em!” he yells over the line, followed by a harsh coughing fit. “I’ve got eyes on ‘em!”

Shield first, streaked with ash but bright as a beacon, they stagger out of the smoke. Both their faces are covered in soot, 14’s uniform scorched in places, Steve’s blond head turned an ashy gray; her arm is slung around Steve’s shoulder and she leans into him as they limp towards their teammate, their friend. 14 coughs as a harsh wind, stirred by the flames, whips fresh smoke into her face. Steve’s grip around her waist tightens by a fraction, even as Sam approaches, grips his shoulder and hauls him into a rough embrace.

“You’re insane, you know that?” Sam points a finger in his face when he pulls back a moment later. “You’re a goddamn lunatic. Jesus, man.” He babbles in his relief, and they let him, following quietly towards the waiting paramedics, the line of spectators already cheering at the sight of the familiar patriotic uniform. Police and citizens alike crowd against the barricades, hoping for a glimpse of their national hero. Steve lifts the shield in a tired salute, rousing another chorus of excited whoops and cheers.

He feels different eyes on him, and he looks down to find 14, face upturned and sooty, her eyes red from the smoke. Her own fingers slip between his where his hand still rests at her waist, and she squeezes his hand twice. Like a heartbeat. Then her head drops to his shoulder.

Nearing the edge of the perimeter, Steve hears the roar of applause above the ringing in his ears, and tries to feel victorious.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader fic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x agent 14 #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers oneshot

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epitheterasedgen · 5 years

Note

Percy being a mom to Sylvie pretty please. I love you.

{A terrible decision, really, but here you go!}

Cop mom and sheep son get along great!

They’re both lawful and smart so they get along great and LOVE to play chess together and listen to classical music

They also bond over their shared exhaustion over trying to handle all the chaotics in their life

...But, like, they ALSO share a bunch of bad habits and enable each other oh no—

Percy will be like “are you going to bed” and Sylvie will go “no it’s almost tax season and I’m behind” and she’ll be like “oh shoot ur right; I’ll stay up with u”

Also while Zora and Mera are the most obvious “team never show emotions,” Sylvie and Percy are team “help everyone else with their emotions but never deal with your own” and it’s REALLY bad

TL;DR they’re a great duo but it’s a good thing they have other people in their lives (*cough* GIOVANNI *cough*) who force them to take breaks and deal with their mental health

#requested headcanons #answered headcanons #anon #percival king #percy king #sylvester ashling #sylvie ashling #lawful good mom #law & order

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bayoubluebirb · 6 years

Text

Read This Before Buying A Bird!

There are some things to be considered before going to a pet store and buying that cute little conure or cockatiel in a cage, adopting a bird from a shelter, or homing a bird from a small independent breeder. Addressed questions: How much money are you willing to spend? Are you okay with the possibility of having a furniture-destructive animal in the house? How much space do you have? What is the climate and your neighborhood like? How long are you away from home per day? How much time can you commit?

How much money are you willing to spend on your pet per month?

- I probably spend about $50-$100 on my bird a month on average. On big trips to pick up perches, trees, or cages, it’s more along $200-$800.

- Birds are not cheap. They can range in price, but typically a healthy hand-reared budgie will cost anything from $50 to $100. My Peach Faced Lovebird was $140. I have a male Solomon Eclectus that was almost $2000. African Greys, Congo and Timneh, range $2500-$3500. Macaws range $2500-$23,000, etc.

- Cages are expensive! A good quality cage that is not full of harmful metals or paints, will cost between $200 and $5000. My SL Eclectus’ cage is pure acrylic and was almost $800. He will be getting a larger cage and that is $1500.

- Birds do need annual vet check ups, and they require exotic veterinarians specialized specifically in Birds. Because they need a special doctor, it also costs more. Co-pays are usually around $150-$400, and procedures and medications can be off the roof expensive.

- If you cannot afford to feed yourself, provide yourself with necessities and a couple wants, and are living comfortably, a bird is not the pet for you.

Are you okay with them possibly destroying a few beloved things in your home?

- Birds are often described as animals that take and don’t give back. They are natural foragers, and need stimulation to keep them entertained. Your parrot may chew at your door frames, your door itself, couch cushions, Leather materials, kitchen supplies, etc.

- Birds have extremely sensitive respiratory tracts, so if you aren’t willing to give up that lovely PFAS chemical we Environmentalists like to call The Devil We Know, AKA Teflon, then a bird is not for you.

- If you aren’t willing to trade in bleach, vinegar, non-stick, cleaning sprays and window cleaners, for something organic, trusted and approved by your avian vet, then a bird is not for you. It is much more expensive, but it would not only keep your bird safe, but also you safe!

How much space do you have in your home?

-Even if your bird’s wings are clipped, you need enough space for your bird to spread its wings and maneuver about.

-Birds talk a lot, so if you appreciate your quiet time, don’t get a bird if you live in close-quarters.

-Talk to your neighbors first before you buy a parrot if you live in an apartment or townhome. Yes. The birds will scream. Yes, your neighbors will hear it.

-If you want more than one bird, even if they’re the same specie, never house them in the same cage, even if it’s giant! Birds are NON DOMESTICATED animals, and it’s important we mimic their habits in the wild as to not frustrate them. Birds are animals that while in flocks, are incredibly spread out unless they’re mates or conversing. Birds are always alert, and are watching and listening. They need their space.

What is the climate like yearly?

-Where do you live and what is the temperature in each season?

-Do you get snow in the winter? Many people up north have birds, but it’s also more pricey to own a bird up north due to the extra expenses needed to keep the bird warm.

-How warm/cold do you keep the air on in your house?

-What species of bird are you considering? They come from all different habitats. The Peach Faced Lovebird, for example, is native to sub-desert regions like Namibia and Angola. Probably not a good idea to get a Peach Faced Lovebird if you keep your home below 19°C/66°F.

-Birds NEED vitamins (D3) they get from the sun, just like people! If your weather is consistently unable to provide these vitamins to your birds, you either need to purchase a UVB/UVA lamp, or you just should not get a bird.

What is your neighborhood like?

- Down in Florida, Texas, and many other states with high-demand parrot breeding and shops, there’s a lot of thievery. Make sure you live in a safe environment.

- If you live near chemical/manufacturing plants, or has an immediate family member that does, a bird is not for you.

- Birds are very sensitive to pollution. Please make sure your neighborhood is clean, because not only is it bad for the pets, but also the people!

- How noisy is the neighborhood? Do you live in New Orleans and pop big celebrations for Mardi Gras? Do you live in areas with lots of fireworks or loud noises? This can startle your bird. It can bring them stress!

- If you plan on flight training and/or bringing them outside on a harness, is your town/city very busy? Is there a lot of traffic? Are there birds of prey that live nearby? Hawks WILL and HAVE swooped down to snatch a parrot off of someone’s shoulder for a snack, and have even snatched them out of the sky while free-flying. Please be careful!

How long per day are you away at work/school?

- If you work a full time job and are a college student, you will not have time to take care of a bird and be able to grant your bird’s needs.

- How many hours a day do you work/are away from home? Parrots on average need AT LEAST six to seven hours a day out of their cage!

- Birds need attention, but not in the sense where you need to throw them a ball or cuddle with them. Being in the room with them out of the cage is even plenty to make them happy. They want you to be with them, but not on them!

How much time can you devote to your bird? How patient are you?

- Birds are a lifetime commitment. Depending on the species, your bird can live between 15 and 100 years. Do not adopt a bird unless you have accepted that this bird will be with you through everything. If you move, if you get married or divorced, if you have children, if you get other pets, etc.

- If you don’t think you’ll want the same bird for twenty+ years, do not get a bird. There are countless in avian shelters and sanctuaries right now, and it’s heartbreaking to see. If you wouldn’t sell your child because you got bored of them or were struggling to care for them, don’t sell your parrot.

- Parrots grow extremely attached to the people they’re used to being around, and in that case have many emotions similar to humans. They put trust in you, and rely on you, and love you. Rehoming them after multiple years of building that relationship can cause self-mutilating behaviors, depression, aggression, and even death from loneliness and feeling abandoned. If you cannot handle strong emotions and a deep attachment, a bird is not for you.

- Many parrots love to learn, and many are stubborn. They are extremely smart animals and among the most intelligent in the world, so keeping them stimulated with daily training is essential.

- Birds bite, and when they bite, it hurts... A LOT. I have been bitten until bleeding by an African Grey, I have been bitten by a previously abused Yellow-headed Amazon, I am constantly bitten by my Lovebird that I am trying to train to be less aggressive. Birds bite, and no, if you don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to scream “Ow!” when it happens, a bird is not the pet for you.

- Birds are not dogs, nor cats, nor horses. Negative reinforcement will only enable Negative behavior in your parrot! You must have the patience to, even when they bite you, praise them for it. You want them to know that biting doesn’t get a reaction out of you and that it won’t make you give them more or less attention. They will eventually learn this and try to find other ways of communicating with you.

- Birds do not bite to communicate by nature. You must take time to learn your bird’s body language. They will always give you at least FOUR warnings before they bite you hard. Please, learn to speak to your bird. They cannot learn English fluently like everyone else.

Please, let me know if I should do some more of these helpful pointers! By no means am I insinuating you should not get a bird, because I love hearing about people’s emotions and excitement toward them. They’re wonderful companions. I merely aim to inform people before they make a big lifetime decision like adding a feathered friend into their family!

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hes-writer · 6 years

Text

One Of My Own (2)

Summary: Harry falls out of love

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 4.5k

She brushed it off but thoughts and conclusions bounce through her head the entire dinner. She couldn’t help but compare herself to Daniela again like she did when she was younger. The make-up she’d applied felt heavier as she looked at Daniela’s natural looking face, emphasizing that she didn’t need to do much to look beautiful. She wore a pale blue dress as well, almost white with the lighting whereas Y/N decided to wear an eggplant colored dress that she now realizes doesn’t match Harry’s dress shirt combo.

It was an accidental coincidence, it’s not like they planned it, she thought.

“I don’t know it’s just odd,” Y/N stated to her friend, Lucy.

“What’s weird again?”

Harry and Daniela had been spending a ton of time together ever since she got back. At first, Y/N was glad that they found each other pleasant. Even though worries constantly filled her mind because of her sister’s actions, her trust in Harry couldn’t be swayed and she eventually overcame the insecurity that bubbled up inside her from the previous years.

“They’ve been spending a lot of time together,”

“Isn’t that good?” Lucy responded, raising an eyebrow at her.

It would’ve been good if they told her directly or a couple days before they actually hung out. Just this morning, she awoke to Harry fresh out of the shower with a towel wrapped lowly across his waist. His tan skin was drizzled with droplets of water and his hair was shaggy from the shampoo and conditioner. Her groggy voice projected as much as she could in the early hours of the morning to ask where he was headed off to. It was a Saturday and both of them happened to have a day off on that week. She planned to have a lazy day with him with their limbs entangled and a blanket draped over their bodies while they snuggled.

—

“Gonna go out with Dani to see this band at Chance,” He said as he opened the top drawer to pull out a pair of boxer briefs.

Y/N was instantly alarmed at the mention of her sister’s name. Chance was a café that Y/N found out about while scrolling through Instagram tags near her vicinity. It had a vintage vibe to it and played live music every day. The acts were switched and she had wanted to go ever since her discovery, but Harry’s schedule never matched up to hers.

“You’re going out with my sister?”

He paused, pulling a t-shirt over his head, “Yes. Is that a problem?”

She shook her head no, burrowing her face into the thick sheets of her duvet. The pillow beneath her felt like a brick and her head felt heavy.

“I guess. They don't invite me most of the time,”

“They don’t?”

“No, it’s like they’re the best of friends? I dunno, they even have their own little inside jokes,”

Lucy looked at her in alarm, “You don’t think he’s ..”

Y/N only bit her lip in remorse for thinking such vile things about Harry.

—-

Days passed and Harry had forgotten to pick Y/N up after her class again. It wasn’t a problem the first time it happened, but then it occurred again and it was currently the fifth time in eight days that Y/N was left leaning against the side of the building. It was raining mundanely, but it was enough to make someone sick if they stayed out long enough, and she was squishing herself as much as possible to fit under the small roof above her.

“Come on, H. Pick up,” Y/N lifted the phone to her ear, the weight of her tote bag dragging her forearm downwards but she persisted.

The line rings four times before the call ends and she was sent to voicemail. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows because she couldn’t believe that Harry had purposely rejected her call.

“What the heck?” she muttered.

The rain poured harder and she could see last of the people from her class getting picked up by their rides or boarding the public bus by the street corner. Y/N contemplated whether to run to catch up to the bus. From her peripherals, she sees Harry’s car speeding towards her.

It stopped right beside the sidewalk and Y/N speed-walked through the short distance between the roof and the car—refusing to get anymore wetter than she was. She grabbed the handle to the back seat so that she could drop off her bag before situating herself in the front with him. To her surprise she sees Daniela’s head of hair rested against the headrest. She climbed onto the back turning on the seat warmer first before strapping the safety belt across her body.

“Daniela?” She questioned.

“Hey Y/N, sorry we’re late,” Her sister apologized. “Harry here was just so clumsy that he—“

“Wha- Dani! You said you’d keep that between us,” Harry interrupted, arms lifting to lightly punch Daniela’s shoulder.

Y/N couldn’t help but let her eyes drift between the two of them.

——

It started off with the most minute things, everyday errands that Harry and Y/N used to do together like run to the grocery store to pick up eggs or a quick trip to the hardware because one of them were in need of batteries or a new set of light bulbs. These trips were their thing—it made them feel unique and separated from other people because it wasn’t usually what you would do with another person. But Harry and Y/N did them, it made the bond between them stronger to share something so domestic.

Until it wasn’t them anymore; it was Harry, Y/N, and Daniela because she needed milk one morning and he had invited her to come with them and somehow–it turned into a trio thing. When Y/N was scheduled for an early morning shift, she had to miss out on the grocery trip and she felt bad that she was missing out on it, especially since it was one of the bigger loads–as in, they needed to restock their pantry. But Harry barely batted an eyelash towards her, stating that Daniela could come and join him. Soon enough, those trips turned into Harry and Daniela hang out sessions because “Oh, Y/N. I don’t think you’ll want to come because she wants to go visit another store after” according to Harry.

It wouldn’t be a surprise either for Y/N to come home and find Daniela sitting at Y/N’s usual seat on the dinner table (beside Harry) while they chatted and ate their dinner. They didn’t even notice her presence for the first minute and a half because they were too busy laughing at yet another inside joke that stayed between their knowledge.

“Oh hi Y/N, there are some leftovers in the fridge for you,” Harry had greeted and continued in with the conversation. Her sister merely gave a wave before focusing her attention on Harry.

On other days, Y/N would come home to an empty apartment. The lights would be turned off and not a single sign prevailed that Harry had been around recently. There were no notes, no texts, no calls, and Y/N was actually getting worried about the lack of response. She stayed situated on the couch nibbling on her fingernails as a nervous habit while she sipped on chamomile tea in hopes to calm worries. When the doorknob jiggled, Y/N never ran as fast to the door as she did only to see Harry slap his palm on the door, pushing it widely as the hinges would and almost hits Y/N’s face. He stumbled over his own feet while his other arm was wrapped around Daniela who was equally as drunk. They both giggled at seemingly nothing but Y/N felt left out.

——

It was rare for Harry and Y/N to have time alone—like tonight— so she wanted to make the best out of it. She’d planned a whole evening of activities between them, some more enjoyable to Y/N than it was for him and vice versa. She felt that they’d lost effective communication to each other and she wanted to rekindle the spark that had extinguished.

The first one was to make dinner. It was a domestic activity that enabled them to see each other as a possible life-long partner and so far, Y/N was satisfied with this. The second was to eat it and speak about the events that have happened in recent weeks. Y/N was ashamed to say that she wasn’t as updated on Harry’s life as usual because she’d become a lot busier at work, especially at this time of the year. She wanted him to rant if needed to, complain if he felt like it, and share if he was comfortable enough to tell every little thing that he was feeling or had experienced prior because she’d missed his raspy voice lulling her ears. Y/N prided herself on being a great listener and Harry was someone who could talk for hours on end. It was a match.

Then, they’d move over to the couch where Harry would probably swift through the Netflix recommendations to find a new movie to watch, but they always knew that he couldn’t resist clicking back on his favorite movies. Y/N would cuddle into his chest, his knobby knees knocking against her own, while one of their arms would slowly become numb from being pressed against each other tightly. Both of them hated the pain and Harry had shyly admitted that she was—as cheesy as it sounds—’worth the pain’. When the days events catch up to their bodies, sometimes Y/N was the only one left to stare at the TV with tears in her eyes as the credits scroll upwards the screen while Harry leaned his head against his neck, resting at the back of the couch and his mouth wide open with a little drool dribbling down the corner of his mouth. He’d snore sometimes too.

Did it happen? No.

Why? As Harry had answered, “Sorry Y/N, I can’t come. Dani wanted to watch this new rom-com at the cinema tonight,”

And that was the moment she realized that her sister was doing it again. She was taking away what is rightfully Y/N’s and like every guy she’d ever been with, Harry was being persuaded by some sort of magic charm away from Y/N and towards he sister. It was funny how Daniela always succeeded and Y/N always let her. It’s not like she wanted to—if she had the guts, Y/N would totally scramble to grasp what she had. However, she was a strong believer in having only one chance. That chance proved whether it was worth it or not; if it meant something or it didn’t. She believed that once a person started drifting away from her, then it was either they would eventually disappear from her life, or they’d somehow realize what was happening and crawl their way back to her. So far, every experience Y/N had gone through always concluded with the person leaving her—maybe it was the same for Harry.

———

Y/N was too nice sometimes. Harry gave her an earful plentiful times when she became too generous and offered to take a shift for her friend who—as he declared— ‘doesn’t even like you’.

And this is an example of Y/N’s soft heart.

What if Daniela and Harry were the ones meant to be together and she was just the test to exemplify their true feelings? What if Harry and Daniela were meant to find each other through her? She had gone through the same thought process with Leo and the others, and now she was doing it with Harry. It was repetitive, of course. But what if this time was really it? Y/N couldn’t let her selfish needs get in the way of her sister's ticket to happiness. Sure, she’d probably be left broken and dusting but Y/N couldn’t stand seeing her brother, Carlos, weeping or Daniela sobbing over a lost love even if it was her lost love first.

That’s exactly what it was—a lost love. It wasn’t Y/N that felt her feelings deteriorating, no. The love she felt for Harry was stronger than before, sturdier than yesterday and she undoubtedly believed that he was the perfect one for her. Except, Y/N could also sense that Harry’s feelings for her were swirling down the drain and into an alternate dimension which meant that it was only growing for Daniela. It was for her sister.

Y/N had a hard time wrapping her head around it at first because that was just fucked up. What kind of boyfriend leaves their current girlfriend for their girlfriend's goddamn sister? It was humiliating and embarrassing since Y/N couldn’t imagine seeing a day without him—and she certainly wouldn’t have to envision it because she was sure that Harry would certainly come to their family dinners not as Y/N’s plus one, but her sisters’.

------

Harry had never met Y/N’s parents but he’s heard a plentiful amount about them. It was the same situation with Y/N’s parents, although, they had no idea that Y/N was dating somebody for good months now. It was a topic that just hadn’t come up in conversations, especially since the subject of relationships were a bit rough on the family, granted of the upcoming divorce that will ultimately split the household.

Harry and Y/N took a couple of days off from school and work to travel back to Y/N’s hometown to spend time with her family. Daniela had left the city a few days earlier because she had to speak to their parents to finalize their decision. Y/N was relieved at that news because it meant that Harry’s undivided attention would be focused solely on her during the ride back home. They hadn’t had a lot of time together recently and Y/N really didn’t want to blame anyone but she’s currently pointing her finger at her sister for charming her way into her boyfriend’s pretty head, and somehow relaying that his own girlfriend should become second priority.

However, all hopes of delving back to what they used to be were flushed down the drain. Y/N was a cuddler, Harry was too-- so it wasn’t a surprise when the two of them settled on their seats ready for the train ride to begin its journey, and for Y/N to lay her head on Harry’s shoulder or chest. What shocked her was that he didn’t return any of her actions, he had shifted uncomfortably on his behind and pretended to stretch his limbs as if he had been in the same position for a long while--- he just really didn’t want Y/N laying on him. She stared at him for a few seconds, brows furrowed and lips settled in a downwards curve.

The second move Y/N approached was more subtle. She fiddled with her own hands, eyeing Harry’s tattooed ones that rested softly on his jean-covered thigh. His lids were closed, eyelashes idly resting on his supple cheeks. His nose twitched ever so often like a bunny rabbit. Y/N feebly let her hand move to trace his, feeling the bones and muscles twitch underneath her touch. When she was sure that he was deeply asleep and wasn’t going to pull away, she turned his hand over so that his palm was against her own. She let a sigh softly escape her lips when her fingers tangled with his own, feeling a spark shoot through her body.

They must’ve stayed like that for at least forty-five minutes and she was awoken by an abrupt thump and suddenly, her hand was left isolated away from Harry. She forced her eyes to peel open to see what had just occurred and is met face to face with Harry’s which sported a disappointed mask. She tilted her head to the side in confusion; what could he be possibly angry about? He shook his head at her like a parent scolding their child and feels inferior to him. Y/N tried to lay her head on the meat of his shoulder again; he tensed, muscles contracting and she swore he stopped breathing for a nanosecond. He relaxed, however, and it made Y/N exhale gently. He adjusted his arm so that she was resting on his chest, his arm wrapping around her body in a grip that even she could tell was hesitant and took some reckoning for him to decide if that was what he wanted to do.

As much as she wanted to and should be comfortable right now, her mind was buzzing with thoughts even though her body rested pliantly on Harry. She couldn’t help but feel pain in her head as if someone was jostling her brain back and forth to shake out all of the ideas that could possibly explain why he was acting so odd. Detached was probably the most accurate word she could muster up. He was there physically but it was as if every emotional attachment that used to tie him to her was cut off from the source. He was a man that acted on a schema, a man that moved based on how he thinks he should be acting, not because he cared for whatever it was--- but because he had to. He had to at least try that he was still somewhat interested in Y/N when in fact, his passion for her has whisked away in pieces, declining with time and he could definitely feel guilt have its way at him.

Y/N could sense the end coming even though her heels were digging in the ground to try to stop it as much as she could, or maybe slow the process down a bit because she wanted a bit more time with Harry. Just a little bit more of being loved, being wanted, and having someone to call her own. In the back of her mind, a whisper mocked her every day, warning that she should leave before he does because then at least she’ll have a bit of control of the situation. But her subconscious won’t let her-- she loves Harry too much to let him go on a whim, but apparently not enough to fight for him. If he truly did love her like he-so-graciously spoke, he should eventually find his way back to her. Right?

But Y/N was in a state of denial, wanting to prolong every kiss they shared, every embrace that lifted her heavy heart, every moment he spoke while he was still hers; she wanted it to stretch so thinly until it breaks because then she will know that it wasn’t meant to be. Their love was one-sided and she was the one that sailed it through the hard and good times. At least for now, she could pretend that he was only confused and befuddled with a choice that he had to make.

And it definitely took a toll on Y/N when she let a bit of truth nip at her being, that her sister was taking pieces of Harry away and he was willingly breaking off parts of him to give to her. Needless to say, she was disgusted with the thought and she almost regurgitated when it first slipped her mind. It was repulsive and so so embarrassing for her. Did they even think of her when they decided to sneak around? Probably not.

The love was fading fast on Harry’s side and although a sensible part of him relates to Y/N’s pain, he couldn’t coerce himself to be one with her fully-- as in yes, he feels bad but he couldn’t blame himself. Is it right for him to say it’s hers? Maybe she just couldn’t satisfy him emotionally, maybe Daniella’s advanced two years of experience was what Harry was searching for. Maybe the sisters’ were just so alike from each other that he mistook feelings for Y/N as infatuation for Daniela. Maybe he’d be satisfied with either one of them because of their similarity in personas but he decided to go with Daniela because she had that extra oomph that Y/N had been lacking all of her life. The potential loss of Harry and Y/N’s relationship definitely affected her more than him. He was aware of that and he knew that she had realized it earlier.

----

Right now, as the pair exit the train station and Harry’s arm shoots up to holler for a taxi cab, Y/N couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on every part of him as if it was the last time she’ll ever get the chance to do so. The moment they step foot into the house was a daunting thought that maybe that was the precise moment where she truly losses him as her own. The time he will walk into their family, not as Y/N’s but entering the life that he and Daniella will share while Y/N watched from the dining table.

And maybe Harry, too, could sense the fear radiating off of Y/N’s body. They always had some way of being connected and whenever she was cold, he would shiver too. The hairs on his neck stand at full attention at the realization and he also couldn’t help but stare at his past love while she glanced out the cab window emotionlessly. Her face was reflected off the transparent glass of the window, the droplets of rain skidding down the surface but he could see a lone tear fall down the side of her cheek. Harry swallowed heavily, blinking a bit to clear his thoughts and takes her hands between his. The action surprised Y/N, he could tell by the way her left hand flattened her fingertips to her temples to swipe the tears away, a sniffle added into the mix before she turned to face him with her head down. He knew that it was an effort for him not to see her red-rimmed eyes. He could feel a twitch from her hand as if she wanted to pull away from the shock, but she stayed, unmoving.

His thumb rubbed circles on hers, a habit that she had introduced to him and something that he found so endearing that he eventually adopted the mannerism as his own. It was a calming gesture that she did to steady his heartbeat, and now he was using it against her to protect her from upcoming events that he himself is aware of.

---

The cab breaks to a halt and the moment they shared was over. Harry reached over to take his wallet out of his coat pocket and Y/N couldn’t help but grip it a little tighter. He faced her to be met with eyes pleading against his own as if to say ‘please, just a little longer’, but it was a request that he couldn’t fulfill. He pulled his hand back to his body, letting hers lay limply like she had been drained the life out of.

Their bags were held in their hands, standing at the little pathway to the front door. The cab’s engine volume decreased until it eventually couldn’t be heard by their ears. It was silent between them and who could forget the fact that it was pouring rain. Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to care if she caught a cold from the freezing water, watching Harry jog over to the porch to shield himself. All the while he thought that she was following his footsteps only to turn around and find Y/N walking slowly, dragging her feet, wanting to stretch the time they had alone until she was forced to give it up.

She reached him with a slouched body. Harry felt his heart cracking just a little bit at the sight. He couldn’t tell the difference between her tears and the rain but he knew that she was in pain. His hand grabbed her chin softly to tilt her eyes to meet his, lips drawing closer to each other to encapture it in a lasting kiss. His pillowy soft lips touch her own freezing ones and she could feel every emotion he felt pour into the single action. The regret, remorse, and empathy flowing from him to her body; he was sorry. He was sorry that it had to be this way, this was the end of them. It was ironic since he was meeting her parents for the first time, and usually, it would be to announce the beginning of their relationship, but Harry and Y/N always set themselves apart from the crowd.

Her frigid hands situate themselves just under his chin and he was jolted out of the kiss. Their eyes flutter open and Harry was searching her own for a sign of forgiveness but all he could see was a barren window that reflected his face back to him. The eyes truly were the windows to the soul because no matter how many times Harry blinked in hopes for Y/N’s eyes to change in emotion, it was always him that he saw. And maybe it was because Y/N thought of him as her soulmate; someone that would be with her till the end of time. To love, to hold, and to cherish.

Y/N thought that falling out of love was like losing a part of her that she knew so well. It was a piece of her that was once illuminated, a part of her that she identified with--Harry was the one that melded his own to hers and they were one. Love was valuable and lord knows what she went through to find one that she thought she could settle with.

His finger pressed the doorbell and not seconds later did the door open in welcome. Both of them shuffled inside, dripping from the rain. It was in slow motion. Her mother’s concern face embedding itself temporarily before she scurried upstairs to grab her a towel. Her father shaking Harry’s hand before brushing Y/N’s wet hair out of the way to ‘see the face that I missed so much’. He could see Carlos waving at her with a wide grin but it slowly faded once he saw that her sister wasn’t returning the action. And then, he could see Daniella enter the doorway with a wide smile and a twinkle in her eyes, barely paying attention to Y/N.

Her heart was aching and the knife studded on her chest twisted and turned while her stomach clenched in repulsion. It was obvious in the way they acted around each other as if they’ve been a couple in love; it was disheartening but at the same time, interesting. Y/N was left to long for him, hoping that someday he’ll return back to her. Hoping that he’ll beg on his knees with his hands clasped together as his voice pleads for her to please don’t give up on him because he loves her and he could physically feel his heart being ripped into shreds when she shakes her head. But right now, Y/N was the one low on the ground, crumbling from the pressure and pain being weighed on her. She was the one begging Harry to not leave her.

But maybe she said it too quietly--too helplessly-- because he couldn’t hear her and he continued walking away from his love to go to one of her own.

----

that’s wack

@ynm1505 @kissme-hs @agoddamnmango @littledreamybeth @kettxo @champagnehaarry @illumestyles @harryspirate @miscll-fangirl @toolazymyguy @fangirl-moment-x @ashkuuuu @urlindah @elizasjuice @styleswritin @meet-me-in-the-harry

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ Patreon Commentary Catchup 2020-03-29

I know I’ve been sitting on half-a-dozen asks, but I’m gonna sit on those a little longer because after I’m done catching up on ALL the commentary I’ve missed I’ll probably be a little exhausted.

First the commentary on Chapter 5: YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D. I skimmed this before, just so I could leave a comment about what I’d been told about the suicide feeling / Jaspers funeral when she was “eight” being way too late on the timeline. They still haven’t made any corrections to that HS^2 page. Hm. Are they just feeling the general vibe and tags to help the fandom guide things? I’m wondering if anyone came to any of them specifically with that, since Patreon commentary doesn’t seem to cut it. (Which I might be grateful for, from another point of view, because why would they favor paid methods.)

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 5, "YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D"

Starting commentary on why they played with the medium by opting for a Longpage with that update. Unsurprising and understandable~

Ooh, they included the commission/sketch instructions for the image they asked from Xam.

I don't know what we did to deserve Xamag.

Yeah few people dispute Xamag’s awesomeness.~

Much of this conversation was written before they launched HS^2′s first chapter, huh?

With the "primary" version of its original protagonist dead in a wallet,

Did... did Terezi or someone else put John’s body in his wallet after he died? I forget. *checks back*

(Meat 35) That’s definitely a fair question. But I have one that’s much more important for her to answer. Terezi, are you seriously just going to leave the body here? “TEREZI: HUH?” Of course not. Terezi’s a practical girl, after all. She digs the wallet out of her blood-stained pants, and captchas the corpse. She holds it close to her heart, like a secret. Like John’s stupid last words: a confession whispered for her and no one else.And then she starts walking home.

(Meat 36) Terezi’s jaw tightens. She’s not ready to hear any words that remind her of those few hours with John. Her hand goes to her pocket, where she’s keeping the wallet. She traces the contours of it with her thumb and forces a smile.

[...] Here we both are. It’s a beautiful day. You’ve got your dead boyfriend in your wallet. And we’ve already managed to strike such a nice metatextual rapport. So hear me out. [...] I ease the throttle back a bit, just enough so that I’m not whispering directly into her ear when she slips the wallet out of her pocket. She clutches it so hard in her palm that she’s digging dents into the leather, and bites her lip.

God damnit, that was an important fucking thing for me to forget. I hope she preserved his corpse in a better way than just “wallet”. And why the FUCK did Dirk think it was so important to bring him???? That’s not good, is it.

Back to the commentary, going to how the Dirk crew’s conversations especially cover the meta question of why continue the story at all...

This is actually a similar question to one explored by a series that shares a lot of Homestuck's creative DNA, Steven Universe.

Oh god damnit, what timing, huh? And then they go on about what constitutes a happy ending and what’s supposed to happen after, how work might not be done, et cetera. Hopefully these authors take a page from how SU:F finished, because Steven Universe managed to pull it back to uplifting pretty well.

These are two dangerous women, confined together long enough to learn all of each others' weaknesses, and sharp-edged enough to exploit them.

True enough.

Dirk, unfortunately, cucks the audience from seeing the scene's "true resolution." What an asshole. I've never been madder at this guy than I am right now. I bet he didn't even provide a warranty.

Pff.

On to the next commentary:

Sketches and Commentary: Catnapped, Part Three

Catnapped is some of the most fun I’ve had while writing, because Jasprose is just so goddamn fun. Cats don’t plan, they live in the moment. She’s always existing in that moment of pushing a glass off the table.

We can all agree with that I think.

Plenty they talk about here, but I’ll just quote part of anything about characterization...

First, I actually really appreciate getting a lot at Jane's genuine sympathy for Dirk here. There was quite a bit of mutual fondness and care between the two of them – but, at the same time, they enabled each others' worst tendencies.

Hm!

Swifer remains the closest thing to a "straight man" this story has. (Not in the sexuality way. In the comedy way.)

Yep.

There was no universe where we left this story without Jasprose saying "owo what's this". You know it, I know it.

Jesus Christ, I didn’t catch that.

God, Problem Sleuth just has the worst commuting luck. He should put some of his rug money into a permanent locksmith. Checking back in with these scenes is always a delight. It probably took PS like two hundred off-screen panels to get to this point. Miserable.

Wait, that’s right, Catnapped 28 is shown before DDD 12, but AFTER Dad is shown marching up handcuffed in Catnapped 26. And yet in DDD 12, Dad and DD come fetch PS from out of his office, when the handcuffed thing hasn’t happened yet in DDD. You can’t DO that, authors! It only makes RELEASE ORDER sense, not any sort of OTHER sense? What about when people come to catch up or read this later! Come on, that’s sloppy. Unless they’re going to leave PS behind to stay trapped in his office MORE, which I wouldn’t put past them. (But, wouldn’t make sense since the bullethole from C28 is already there in DDD12.) Andrew knew more of how to be responsible telling an out-of-time-sync story, believe it or not.

Commentary ends with a few sketches, like Jasprose doing a The Mask impression, appropriately.

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 6, "A Conversation Regarding Relevance"

Oh, it’s Jade time.

On alt!Callie’s starting Space rant:

I wanted to impress on everyone just how vast it is, and also to remind the audience that alt!callie has them at the same mercy that Dirk does. She can force us to listen to her pontificate endlessly if she so chooses. She’s slightly less insufferable than Dirk, if only perhaps because her text isn’t orange.

Yep, mostly.

So here she is. Jade. We find out that not only is she conscious inside her own head, she is also incredibly chatty. And not too thrilled with her current situation. I know most of the audience isn’t either, considering the fact that Jade having no agency has basically become a meme at this point.

NEVER. AGAIN. PLZ.

As Callie told us in the beginning of the chapter, it isn’t natural for people to behave like narrative devices. Even within her own thematic framework, Callie has a habit of defaulting to behaving like a person after all.

Even alt!Callie still became a story nerd, not just original Callie -- she just became a different, more insufferable type of story nerd.

Plenty more discussion I don’t need to touch on... keep in mind I’m omitting large parts of this in most cases, again, to respect the paywall.

A remark on Dave and Karkat being two emotionally-constipated early-twenties Bernie Bros, which... I mean. Fair.

She definitely does love them, and she wanted to be with them, but also...Jade has a lot of other prospects. She’s actually the one character who seems to be enjoying her time on Earth c. Hitting up interspecies raves and getting around. We just haven’t seen any of that because none of those other people she boned are main characters.

Maybe that’s why alt!Callie was so blind and dismissive of it? Offscreen experience being less in the Light, therefore less relevant to her, even though that’s the exact attitude she’s ostensibly at war with?

Anyway Jade’s consciousness is huge.

Yep.

It’s been a while since we’ve had any sort of serious meta talk about classpects. Mostly because there’s really no use for classpects outside of the game, unless, for instance, you go around referring to everyone as the Prince or the Witch because you are a dramatic alien in a hood. It does make sense that a Witch’s powers would be more useful than a Sylph’s to a Muse.

Aaaand that’s all the classpect mention we’re gonna get isn’t it? ;P

(Yes I know, the author told us to dial it back. They ARE going ahead and prepping to answer some outstanding questions, though.)

Honestly, the Jade Situation is a tough one. To be sure, she has been sacrificed to the plot again and again, something that probably began as a coincidence and then later grew into a theme. Space players are destined to be huge, cosmic forces in the universe. Big movers. [...] But usually when we hear the story of big, god-like beings, we don’t think about the personalities behind them. What was it like for god to create the universe? Was he lonely? Did he regret it? Did he wish he could live in it instead?

And Jade WAS too powerful not to sideline, by a certain point in the plot. And before that, maybe trapped in a bit of a character arc where she had to get over some notions to step into the action.

I actually think Jade could have been okay with this. With being A Force For The Narrative. [...] But then Callie makes it personal.

Agreed. If alt!Callie hadn’t been so shitty about it in general, they could have worked things out more meaningfully; but the immense resolve and effort it took to dominate Caliborn in her origin timeline has tainted her perception ALMOST as bad as Dirk’s. Much of HS^2 is probably going to involve her gradually learning how to get over that in the background, the balance she needs to take ala the Ultimate Riddle’s lesson.

(Tangentially... it was said that it would have been nearly impossible to make alt!Callie dominate, even across ALL timelines. What if alt!Callie had her timeline’s origin explained in HS^2 by a Third Scratch at this late date with the likes of Davebot running around to do it??? That would probably make me fucking mad.)

Back to the commentary.

Admittedly these last few chapters have definitely been “girls beating the crap out of each other” heavy, and I hope that’s okay.

PFFFFF

Callie and Jade aren’t really sure who makes a decision on what is considered “just” or “heroic”. Plot twist, it’s us. We do. But also the alpha timeline does.

Hmm.

More gorgeous Xam art. Initially we were going to make it more ambiguous whether or not she actually ate the peanut butter, but we decided to have it be a decisive moment of triumph.

Really? Well, you could have made it visually clearer that the candy dropped. A lot of people visually missed that. This is a consequence of the back-and-forth artist-isnt-the-author art-commissioning going on, in part... Andrew was MUCH better at conveying what he wanted to convey BETWEEN panels than this crew, like comic book panels and their composition together; you can see that when comparing Homestuck proper’s sprite animation to that of fan adventures that used sprites, for instance. These guys are at something of a disadvantage due to their disconnect.

Commentary on the Commentary

This commentary uses "she/her" to talk about the alternate Calliope possessing Jade, while the "other" Callie (remember them?) uses they/them. This other Calliope, presumably, has a much different relationship with her gender – and her brother – than the Callie we saw discussing the subject with Roxy and John. One of my favorite things about this update (I can say that, because I'm a second person who didn't write it) was that subtle hint about how different her Caliborn must have been to allow her to predominate in the first place. I'd be really interested in fan works exploring more about her (and his) past.

Hhhhmmmmmmm.

Not sure what else to say to that, but it does make me hmmm.

Sketches and Commentary: Diamonds, Dames, and Dads, Part 1

Probably not much plot-relevant here...

Oh pff.

They had full drawings of them going in for the kiss on standby. They couldn’t resist making them.

Real talk, I have been looking forward to writing this story the most out of any other part of HS^2. Finally I get to combine my passions. Cheesy noir bullshit and old men making eyes at each other.

Pfffffff. Yes.

...the next three or four pages of this writing go on to describe how sexy this is and these characters and setting are. I can’t fault a word of any of it.

The dream team is assembled. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Wow, I caught up on all this commentary quick. See you next time.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #Homestuck Commentary #spoiler #spoilers

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musingsofabooklover · 5 years

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The Truth About The Dark Sides

I have a theory about Sanders Sides:

Neither Dark Sides nor Light Sides really exist.

There are only Sides, and whether they’re called dark or light depends only on how Thomas perceives them.

Let me explain. Each side, each facet of personality, however “dark” they might seem to be, provides something to the personality that would be catastrophic if taken away. We’ve seen it with Virgil before when he decided to quit. Even though anxiety is something that’s seen as scary, and if you have a lot of it, it can indeed have a big negative impact on your life, it turned out that having some sense of caution was vital to Thomas’s continued wellbeing. And I believe this is true about all of the supposedly “Dark” Sides.

Equally, all of the supposedly “Light” Sides, if they were present to a great extreme, could have unhealthy effects, and also if Thomas wasn’t as comfortable with using those aspects of his personality, the other sides might be trying to get them to go away or not listening to them.

Let’s go through each of the sides we’ve got so far:

Patton:

Good things: leads to you trying to do things that are “good” actions; stops you from being an uncaring asshole who exploits everyone, or a serial killer or whatever, or worse; also generally what drives you to try and make the world a better place.

Bad things: if your morality isn’t calibrated right, it could lead to a variety of bad effects done with good intentions. For instance, if your morality is too strict, you could turn into one of those people who tries to ban Harry Potter because they think it’ll turn all the children into devil-worshippers or something, or you could end up cutting off all your friends because you demand moral perfection. In another scenario, you could end up as a Well Intentioned Extremist who believes it’s ok to kill thousands of people if it’s for the “greater good”, because your morality was able to justify it. In a third scenario, a common moral feature amongst people who don’t value themselves much is that they should always put other people’s wants above their own wants or even needs. This is unhealthy and leads eventually to a lack of life satisfaction, a growing resentment of your own friends and family, and martyrdom, when, really, your friends and family probably didn’t WANT you to be a martyr for them and would actually like it if you did some things for yourself sometimes.

Logan:

Good things: logic enables you to take account of the facts when you make decisions, and consider what consequences are likely to follow from those facts and from decisions you take. Being out of touch with logic means the results you expect won’t follow from the things you do, because you haven’t paid attention to what’s happening.

Bad things: If you only use logic to make decisions, and ignore the more emotional sides, you will end up doing things like choosing a career entirely for the money or because you think you’d be good at it even though you hate it and find it boring or stressful, leading to unhappiness. Plus, if you’ve truly got no emotional preference and only use logic, you don’t know what to prioritise in life. How do you choose between 5 different breakfasts that are roughly nutritionally equivalent? What should you do in your free time? Is fun allowed? We saw that chart Logan came up with for how Thomas should divide his time...

Roman:

Good things: enables you to see a bunch of possibilities for how things could be. You can come up with ideas for how to spend your time, you can do creative work and hobbies of various kinds (not just the arts - anything that is innovative!), and this also seems to be where the optimism is, so you also get hope for the future. Enables you to imagine that things might go right. Encourages you to take risks, which means you don’t get stuck in a rut. Without imagination, every day would look the same.

Bad things: too much imagination/optimism at the expense of, say, logic, and you’ll get out of touch with reality. Those “positive thinking” type books that claim you can get anything you want to happen by just imagining it really hard might work to some extent, but eventually a practitioner will run into the hard facts of reality and come crashing down. If you spend too much time imagining how perfect and wonderful a romantic interest is, the reality of them as a human person with the usual quirks and annoying little habits is going to be a big disappointment. Optimism and imagination is great, but it needs to be tempered with realism. Also, if your positive imagination caused you to take too many risks, that’s called being reckless and it generally doesn’t end well.

Virgil:

Good things: applies caution and checks for danger, preventing you from being reckless. Helps you to assess future risks, so that you’re ready for them when they come along. Without caution, you will do stupid things because you don’t care.

Bad things: use too much caution and you’ll never do anything, because literally everything in the world comes with some level of risk. Either that or everything will seem equally risky, so you’ll actually do something that’s genuinely a serious risk because you couldn’t discriminate between that and something that was just a small risk. Those of you with serious anxiety probably know more than me about this section, I feel.

Deceit:

Good things: I know there’s a feeling amongst some quarters that lying is always bad, but that’s really not the case. Imagine you live under an oppressive government with really bad laws and the secret police come knocking saying, “have you seen this person?” In that case, lying and saying you don’t know who they are, or that you haven’t seen them for a month, or whatever, would be much more moral than telling them that the person’s hiding in your attic. Imagine, on a lighter note, you’re a superhero with a secret identity. If Lex Luthor asked Superman who he really was, Supes isn’t gonna tell him “Clark Kent” and lead Lex right to Jonathan and Martha. Or even imagine somebody gave you a gift that you really, really, hated, but you can tell they put thought into and they’re giving it sincerely. Do you tell them “I hate this!” and give it right back, or do you say “Thanks” and discretely take it to a charity shop later? While in most cases it’s good, honesty really isn’t a clear-cut virtue.

In addition, Deceit seems to be Thomas’s selfish instincts. Without any selfish instincts, then, as described in the section under morality, you’re gonna gradually turn into a martyr.

Bad things: If you lie all the time no one will trust you, which means no one will believe you when it counts and you actually need them to. See the story of the boy who cried wolf. If you’re too selfish, you will trample over other people’s needs in order to gain a trivial want for yourself.

Remus:

Good things: Remus seems to be great at imagining horrible, cynical things (as well as disgusting things, but anyway). This means that if you’re in a scenario, you’ve probably already thought of the worst way that things could go, which means if everything goes sort of ok, you’re not too disappointed, compared to if you’d only been imagining that things would definitely go really well. Remus seems to provide cynicism (which Virgil also feeds off). Cynicism, while not great by itself, is important as a counterbalance to Pollyanna optimism. Also, if you’re a crime novelist or something, the darker side of imagination will help you come up with some good grizzly deaths and crimes waiting to be solved.

On another note, there are certain types of recreational activity for which I doubt it’s Roman doing the imagining. ;)

Overall, without Remus, as an adult you’d come across as incredibly naive.

Bad things: Too much cynicism and imagining the worst all the time without any realism as a balance will lead to depression, as you stop being able to see the ways in which things could go right. Extreme cynicism is just as unproductive extreme optimism. And I think we saw the other negative aspects of Remus in the recent video.

So, as I said: each side has its good and bad part. It’s only how you see them that makes them light or dark.

#sanders sides #dark sides #sanders sides spoilers #remus sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders

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notreallythegreatestperson · 4 years

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FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @handspoken (i think this is my first time actually being tagged in one of these! thanks!) TAGGING: @dogandroses (any muse you like!), @puzzlebones, @the-judge-of-bones, @sxvethequeen, @ladydreemurr, @staydetermined, @nebula-gaster, and anyone else who wants to do it!

01. Megalo Strike Back - Toby Fox

a part of the soundtrack from earthbound, a game toby fox worked on a few years before undertale’s release. though it’s not connected to undertale explicitly, the link with megalovania has led to some headcanons of it being chara’s theme. i was a little hesitant to include this, it felt like a bit of a cliche, but ultimately I do like it as a theme for chara. you’ve got the rich, heavy instruments that remind me of megalovania and other intense battle themes, but with a bright, simple melody more reminiscent of flowey’s theme and the image of something happy and childlike turned bad.

02. Requiem - Dear Evan Hansen (tw: suicide mention) when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep / no one lights a candle to remember / no, no one mourns at all / when they lay them down to sleep

not as much a song that could be from chara’s perspective, as the later ones on the list are, but more a song about their impact. the song deals with a family, reacting in different ways after a member commits suicide unexpectedly. it’s not a stretch to see them as the dreemurrs. their sibling is coming to terms with the fact that the person who died was a flawed person who hurt them, and struggles to grieve as they’re expected to. the father feels bitter, regretting that he wasn’t able to provide enough for his child, while the mother remains hopeful that some essence of her child remains in the world. the idea of remembrance - the “requiem” - links in to chara’s bitterness towards the monsters after death, that they literally sacrificed themselves to make a difference to monsterkind and barely see anyone remember that, while frisk gets all the glory and credit.

03. Everyone Else is an Asshole - Reel Big Fish everybody else thinks of no one but themselves / and no one wants to help cause they're all assholes / and every friendly chat is a knife in the back / a sneaky attack waiting to happen

this is probably the least serious song on the list, but it’s still an interesting look inside their head. the singer here insists that the rest of the world are assholes, that he’s the nice guy, and his worries about what they’re going to do to him drives him to physical violence. while chara fully acknowledges that they play the villain in bad runs, and often enjoy it, i think this song applies to the overall dissonance between their mindset and the actual reality of the world. they have a habit of separating things into black and white, good and bad, despite any evidence that it isnt the case. they believe caring about another person, even just being allies with someone else, is a stupid, unnecessary risk that will only lead to them getting betrayed. this defensiveness, this refusal to connect with others, is a big driving factor in chara getting physically violent towards the people around them.

04. Monster - Dodie Clark i'm guessing that i've grown horns / i guess i'm human no more / i can tell I've rotted in your brain

it’s not a song chara would ever listen to themselves, but i’m always a sucker for a good monster/human metaphor i can apply a little too literally. though it’s originally written about romantic partners, the core idea of two people who used to love each other, and now begin to hate each other, feels very relevant to chara’s life. mix that in with the visuals of hate slowly turning a person into something grotesque and monstrous, and you get an interesting clash of ideas - chara’s rejection of humanity and their wish to be more like their monster family, and chara’s mindset that they are inherently twisted and dark and evil in some way. it also explores the idea of regretting the past, wanting to take it back but being unable to do that or even to communicate how you really feel, and that resonates very strongly with my portrayal of chara.

05. Blasphemy - Bring Me The Horizon you got hell to pay, but you already sold your soul / it's blasphemy, but the words don't make sense no more / what would your mother say?

i’ll be real here, when i first looked through this meme, i was acutely aware that my interests in music are very different to chara’s, and it felt like a disservice to not include at least one song that they’d actually listen to. so after a chat with a friend who has more similar tastes to them, i picked out this. the creators describe it as being about people who make themselves believe something they know deep down is false, because the alternative scares them. looking to what ive mentioned already about chara’s binary, reductive mindset that enables them hurting others, it feels very relevant. throw in some religious imagery, linking to the whole “angel of death” concept in undertale, and the concept of sacrificing yourself for an already flawed belief, and i knew it had to be on here.

#look at what you’ve done (meme)#disconnected. (ooc)#((im sorry in advance for any whiplash in listening to these #ive had chara as a muse for a while and the music i listen to changes a lot over time #hopefully ive got a nice coverage though #definitely a fun one to do!! so thanks for tagging me!!))

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pastelbatfandoms · 5 years

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Get to know my character

Taking this for My Stranger Things OC!

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? I just like the way it sounded. Plus when I thought of Billy I thought of Mandy from The Cartoon lol Her Full name is Amanda Leigh Moorington. Which I half got from Mandy Moore’s name half got from Steve’s last name.

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? Her Temper,Her Pride,Her general Insecurities. I can say Mandy is able to hide it better in public and with The Popular Crowd then in Private or around Max,Billy and Steve.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? They’re hair (which has been Brown,Red and Blond) Probably her lips too,Steve says they’re perfect for Kissing and Billy thinks they’re perfect for well...other things ;)

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) Have you seen Billy and Steve? I mean ♥

Starting with Billy,Mandy initially fell for him because not only was he hot but he litterly saved her. Twice. But who can ignore that Charm and Sexual Magnitude for long...Plus that Butt! When they first met in California Billy had short hair so it took awhile for her to adjust to the new long curls.But She finally did when she realized that Billy liked it when Mandy played with his hair. Billy even allowed her to braid it into a Rat Tail once but it didn’t end up good. (It was a Rat Tail though so...)

Personality wise even though Billy can be a prick,Billy’s Private emotional and Caring side outweighs their many Jealous fights in Mandy’s eyes.

Physically Mandy loves Steve’s hair,I mean who doesn’t?! plus with those caring eyes and preppy but cool fashion sense,If Billy is An 80′s Heartthrob of The Bad Boy variety,Steve would be The Main Popular Boy turned Hopeless Romantic. Plus he’s got killer dance moves lol

Mandy has liked Steve since Childhood growing up in Hawkins,so She was immediately drawn to him. She prefers him better now though as he is done trying to be Mr Popular Cocky guy and is more Sweet and a dork in public. She also loves how Protective he is with The Kids in their neighborhood.

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? Mandy used to be not really Shy but not super confident either,until she moved to California.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? No I don’t think they really pay attention to that. tbh. Steve hates when she smokes though,reminds him of when he tried doing it to be cool.

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? Well Billy can make her make lots of sounds ;) sorry he’s a Perv :p lol No,there’s not.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? Mandy would have to be seriously delirious and in denial to not realize she has/had a Drug problem. Also her flirting with other guys in front of Billy would be a flaw too I think,but Billy does it too so...

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? Mandy really likes Summer because that’s when she can strut around in her best Bikini when Billy is on Lifeguard duty also when her and Steve can sneak quickies when he’s on lunch break at The Mall. I don’t think she really has a favorite Holiday,maybe Valentine’s Day.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? A bit of Both,she loves being Sexy and wearing makeup,being a Cheerleader but she also just likes lounging around the house,also she can dish it out as good as she takes it.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? Billy’s Dad abusing Billy,because then it’s usually taken out on her, unless Billy is feeling unusauly emotional that time then he’ll just let her hold him while he cries. When either of them take it on Max.

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? Her Book Smarts and her Crossbow Skills,have to fight those Demi Gorgons somehow.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Light sleeper definitely,unless she’s at Steve’s.

Blanket stealer? Only when she sleeps with Steve lol

One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? No,Billy is though.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? Well...Mandy grew up with just her Parents but awhile after moving to California they died coming home from a business trip,Mandy was already dating Billy at that point and was like a Big Sister to Max so They asked if she could stay with them. despite the combustible home life Mandy moved in. Mainly because she had no where else and she loved Billy and wanted to keep Max safe. Despite she herself not being.

Mandy has no respect for the Parental Guardians of the house though,she listens to them when she has too but otherwise She thinks Neil is just a terrible person and Susan isn’t much better.

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. Billy’s Parents.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? Besides Cheerleading and Dance no. Mandy prefers reading to watching TV though,but Billy can convince her to watch Pro Wrestling with him.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? Maybe. Mandy is still a Teenager so that is still,thankfully,aways away. Steve is definitely Marriage material and great with Kids. Billy she’s not sure about,but he could definitely surprise her.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? Any place but her current situation. Mandy would have loved to leave with Billy and Max back to California.

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? OH YES. Mandy has always been one to stand up for herself and vocalize her feelings,sometimes not in the best way. Mandy has had to become good at defending herself,she only caves in private when it becomes too much for her to handle,emotionally.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? Yes,Billy wants a Big Dog and Steve wants a Cat. Mandy likes both lol

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? Mandy has already dealt with her biggest fears,losing her Parents then Billy. (SPOILERS,GO WATCH ST SEASON 3)

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? Besides what I mentioned previously Mandy doesn’t have any other unique features. Surprisingly Mandy doesn’t have any tats or Piercings (besides her ears.)

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? Mandy used to be very good in school,was a talented Writer and had to keep her grades up so stay on The Squad. Until she started Dating Billy,she has sense rectified that.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? in Mandy’s words: “Steve Harrington is Sweet,Funny,great at comforting me when I’m down,The voice of reason when I’m falling apart,He was My Childhood Crush for a reason,he doesn’t hide his feelings and is very Protective over everyone,regardless of his well being,which is why I love him.

”Billy Hargrove is almost the complete opposite. Billy is Charming,Dangerous,Controlling at first,Hot tempered,Jealous but a flirt. Billy is also Charismatic,Emotional,Strong yet Vulnerable. I’ve seen his softer,gentler side that cares if I’m upset or feels bad for hurting me and I think that’s why I still love him. We do enable each other’s Vices though,but Billy hates when I do hard Drugs.

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? Besides her Parents Death,I would say Billy’s Death was very hard on her,until Eleven let her talk to him from the other side and Mandy was finally able to move on.

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? Physically Steve is very attentive and affectionate, Romantic,I thought he might be a bit too safe until I called him Daddy once...”

As for Billy our love is all consuming,sometimes very Rough,sometimes very Passionate,sometimes were Sober sometimes were not. Billy is very into PDA and not afraid to let others know I’m his girl and Vice Versa.

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? Stealing something like Alcohol or doing drugs.

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? Writing or Acting.

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Stood up for them and to them. Almost getting killed fighting a Demi Gorgon.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? She prefers writing poetry,or essays. Reading Fashion Magazines in public and Romance or Teen Drama Books in Private. Mandy’s Favorite Book and Movie is Valley of The Dolls. Later on her favorite Movie becomes Heathers. She loves Hair Metal Bands like Poison,Ratt and Bon Jovi also Jerry Lee Lewis (because he’s Steve’s favorite) If she hadn’t met Billy, Mandy would have seriously become a Groupie.

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? Not unless they’re Monsters.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? Steve would probably take her to the Movies and then Ice Cream after,maybe The Fair if it were in town,winning her a stuffed animal,they would then go back to his place and go Skinny Dipping in the pool.

Billy would take her driving in his Comero they would take a road trip to California,stopping to have Sex in the back seat on the way over,They would hang out on the Beach and Billy would teach her how to Surf,they would make love on the sand and then spend the night in a Hotel eating take out,drinking and maybe Partying the next day.

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? Her Room with The Door locked. Or The Library,no one would think to look for her there.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) Waffles!

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? Not so much anymore,Mandy’s pretty Fearless but she always thought she’d die at the hands of a loved one.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? Not really. Though Depression and possibly Bi Polar? yeah.

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? Billy flirting with older Women,Steve acting cool to keep up appearances.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? Rain or Sunshine doesn’t matter much to her. But she hates Snow.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? A Bitch,A Snob,Slut,Lost Cause,Burn Out,Nerd. (When younger) all of which Billy would kick the shit out off A person for calling her.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Reading actual Books lol Mandy also wants to appear tougher on the outside then she actually is on the inside. Also doesn’t want anyone in California knowing about her past in Hawkins.

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? Um No Duh,When you live with Assholes and your real parents were mostly absent off working....you tend to develop an Independence and thick skin at an early age.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? Billy finding out about her and Steve. Not being able to save Billy.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? At times. Mandy is definitely more ON in front of the more popular kids in Cali and wants to appear more carefree and wild while in Hawkins. Only Billy,Max and later on Steve get to see her with her guard down.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? Already happened.

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? Both.

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? Mandy likes playing with both Billy and Steve’s hair while sitting on there laps.

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? Depends on the group but she’s definitely come out of her shell more now.

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? um BILLY,we’ve already went over the fact that they Flirt to make each other Jealous. Mandy also dislikes Nancy because of the way she Broke up with Steve.

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? Mandy used to have Nightmares about her and Billy fighting,especially after he found out about her and Steve. Also had Nightmares about The Mind Flayres when Billy was possessed by one.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

I took this as how The Crush would react so,I’ll start with Billy. Mandy would have waited for Billy to tell her he loved her,in fear of being rejected,once he did,in that same cocky tone,but softer and in private,she would smile in contentment and tell him she loved him back.

With Steve it took awhile for her to tell him she loved him back,mainly because of Billy finding out,once she finally admitted her feelings though Steve would definitely be relieved and over joyed,he would probably pick her up and kiss her.

#stranger things fanfiction #billy x reader #steve x reader #billyxmandy

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cuteandtwisted · 6 years

Note

hey wiss!! what are bfyt evak doing right now?

(Hii. here’s what bfyt Isak (and Even) is up to right after ch12 💛)

Isak waits for eleven minutes in the cold water before resigning to the fact that Even won’t be joining him in the lake.

It’s dark now. Isak’s teeth are chattering, his entire body trembling from the now biting cold he’s not used to feeling. He kissed Even thirteen minutes ago in the living room of the wooden cabin they’re staying at. But it’s beginning to feel like thirteen years as his whole body aches for more.

Even won’t leave the cabin.

Isak still wonders why Elias invited him, still wonders whether it was out of pity or if it was a genuine act of kindness in and of itself. Isak finds that reading people isn’t so easy anymore, for everyone keeps surprising him with kindheartedness he’s not equipped to accept, let alone analyze and rationalize. Because the closer he gets, the less he understands, the less he sees.

The flames in him have always kept him at an arm’s length from the world, but have also provided him with acute clarity unbeknownst to most. For when one is too close, one sees one thing, focuses on one thing—a perfect nose, swimming pool-blue eyes, plump lips. But when one takes a step back, when one is at the right distance, one sees everything. One sees the sun.

Isak is getting close, too close. He can no longer see.

He has ‘friends’ now. Eskild who takes care of him in ways he never knew were possible. Linn who doesn’t say much but silently walks with him around the city every day just in case someone tries to touch him—an arrangement they never spoke about but that’s been tacitly agreed upon. Julie who almost hugged him when she saw him the other day, her eyes spilling affection and joy—genuine joy caused by simply seeing him. Elias and Adam who no longer treat him like an extraterrestrial creature, and more like a younger sibling or a distant cousin from the countryside they decided to corrupt and enable. Mutta who stayed and played with him in the freezing water until he caught a glimpse of Even’s silhouette walking back to the cabin.

And Even.

Well.

If people’s kindness is making Isak’s systems glitch and recalibrate to adapt, Even’s mere existence is breaking him down in places he’s never felt broken before.

And it’s not the bad kind of broken. It’s the wild kind, the untamable kind. Sweet madness. Every time they part after it takes over, Isak wonders if the mayhem has been living in him all along or if Even has befallen it upon him.

Even.

Isak kissed Even fifteen minutes ago, at least according to the plastic watch around his wrist. And Even isn’t coming.

The adrenaline and endorphins and dopamine and warmth from all the kissing begin to subdue, and Isak makes a mental note of the threshold. Fifteen minutes. That’s how long it takes for the madness to leave him, for the chemicals dissipate and stop clouding his judgement. Fifteen minutes in cold water is what it takes for Isak to shake him off, his scent, the ghost of his touch, the promise of his kiss.

Isak goes underwater and closes his eyes. He wishes for this to stop, for this feeling to go away. But it won’t go away. Kissing Sara didn’t feel like this. It was nowhere near close. It didn’t take him fifteen minutes to function after she wrapped her arms around his neck, her breasts against his chest feeling foreign and out of place.

He blamed it on the water, on the fact that his senses were focused on and overwhelmed by the water around him. But it can’t be true given his current state. Perhaps, Sara simply wasn’t the right person to try this with, especially under the pressure sustained by the boys who wouldn’t let it go.

He previously shared a strange bond with Even after all. Yes, that’s probably it. His body is accustomed to him by now and it’s gotten used to the chemicals that get released in him whenever they’re close. It’s anticipation, habit, history.

Isak stays underwater until he can no longer breathe. He comes back up for a second or two or three, eyeing the cabin in search of a tall lanky silhouette perhaps making its way to him, maybe, then dives back in.

It’s minute seventeen, and embarrassment is beginning to wash over him until he feels himself heat up in the cold water. Even probably returned to his room, probably went back to whatever he’s been doing all day. Even who saw him kiss that girl but didn’t look very affected, if not at all.

Even who breaks the very parts in his brain that power him and all his actions. Even who spreads madness through him by simply smiling, or listening to his favorite song, or touching his face in a bathtub, or breathing. Isak has always blamed it on the bond, but it’s become even more intense lately without it. Isak cannot control his actions, a foreign and animalistic urge overwhelming him and taking over, incapacitating him and stripping him of his ability to think, reason, and say no to himself. No. The word ‘no’ and the concept of ‘no’ cease to exist when they get lost in the moment.

Isak dives into the water again as he recalls the things he did in that bathtub. “Come here.” Even said ‘come here’ and Isak’s brain melted, crawling on his hands and feet for him, completely open and intoxicated on natural chemicals alone, completely ‘here’ for him. Isak cannot breathe thinking back to this moment. He thought he’d get over it after the first few nights, but every time the memory comes back to haunt him, he’s set into flames.

“I’m here.” He doesn’t know who that boy was in that bathtub that day and later in the apartment. Isak doesn’t know.

He managed to knock some sense into himself to come up with a solution when Elias caught them heaving down each other’s throats, but that sense left him the moment Even took himself in his hands behind him.

They should have waited fifteen minutes. Perhaps if they had, Isak wouldn’t have wrapped one of his earphones around his ear, pretending to listen to loud music when he was in fact listening to him. Listening to Even at the peak of his shame, touching himself to get rid of the physical substantiation of his sexual desire at the moment. And Isak didn’t blame him. He didn’t because anyone would become aroused if another warm body rubbed against them. It wasn’t exactly for Isak, but it was because of him. That much Isak can admit.

If they had waited fifteen minutes, if they had waited for all the chemicals to leave his system, perhaps Isak wouldn’t have eavesdropped on Even to listen to the sounds he made while he neared his orgasm. Those sounds. God, those sounds. Isak wakes up hot and bothered in the morning from the memory and shame alone. He cannot bear the guilt of having listened, but he couldn’t help it. In that moment, he was unstoppable. Ethics and morals did not matter. At that moment, he was an animal.

It was because they hadn’t waited.

If they had, perhaps Isak wouldn’t have ended up in such a messy state that late afternoon. Perhaps he would have left five minutes after Even exited the apartment with the boys as promised. Perhaps he wouldn’t have sat on Even’s bed then rolled in his sheets, smelled his pillows, and spilled all over his clothes while fisting and biting into one of Even’s shirts by rubbing himself over his jeans. Perhaps.

The memory burns him with shame.

They should have waited fifteen minutes. The homosexual thoughts only last for fifteen minutes. Or while Led Zeppelin is playing.

fuck.

Isak wonders if Even heard him when he called him beautiful, a blurt, a glitch in his system. Even was bopping his head to ‘Thank You’ with both headphones and Isak stared at him, dumbfounded and shaken by his stupid beauty.

“You’re beautiful,” Isak remembers blurting out so distinctly. But Even dismissed him by shouting “I can’t hear you!” over the music, making him laugh.

And Isak should have waited fifteen minutes. He should have. Because then perhaps he wouldn’t have kissed him. Maybe.

Maybe.

Isak walks back to the cabin twenty minutes later and he finds Even there leaning against the door with a blue towel.

“For me?” Isak asks, surprised to see him alone, and not around the fire with the boys in the backyard.

“For you.”

“Thank you.”

Isak accepts it, wraps it around himself and begins tapping it against his skin to dry it as soon as possible. The urge won’t be as strong if he’s dry.

“Relax,” Even comments. He noticed. There’s some sort of hurt in his voice.

“I’m relaxed.”

“You sound vexed,” says Even.

“You sound vexed.”

Isak dries himself and Even lights a cigarette beside him. He looks strangely sad. Isak knows his moods fluctuate sometimes, but he hopes he didn’t contribute to it.

“What are you listening to?” Isak asks.

“Still listening to that Led Zeppelin song.”

“Thank You?”

Even nods. “I like it. I like it a lot.”

Isak should use this opportunity to explain himself, maybe. To apologize for kissing him in the first place, for using him for his silly experiments, especially seeing the toll it’s taking on him. Even who does not like no longer being an exception. Fifteen minutes. It takes me fifteen minutes to get over my want for you. You ARE an exception. Isak wants to tell him. But he doesn’t.

Even speaks first.

“We’re no longer even,” he says.

“Hm?”

“We’re no longer even,” Even repeats, as if he expects Isak to catch up.

Oh.

Isak preached in the tub that they had to be even, that he was kissing and touching Even to be even. But then he kissed him again. They’re no longer even.

“I guess we’re not,” Isak replies, and he feels his face heat up at the retribution, the consequences.

This means that they have to kiss again to restore the balance.

“Are we ever going to be?” Even asks in the deepest voice, a cigarette pressed between his lips, the smoke feeling as though it’s rising from Isak himself as he feels his heartbeats quicken, trip over themselves, over each other.

Isak wonders if Even knows just how special he is. No one’s voice has this much effect on him.

“Maybe we don’t have to be,” he replies coolly.

“So we’ll keep going?” Even asks, and he finally cracks a smile. Finally. It’s barely there, but it’s there. His voice changes when he smiles. His smile always spills over his voice.

“If it’s chill,” Isak shrugs.

“For how long?”

“I don’t know.”

Adam finds them chatting at the door, and they join them around the fire in the backyard.

Later in the night, the fire dies. But not the one in Isak’s chest. Maybe, it’s more than fifteen minutes. Maybe.

He’s struggling to sleep, alone in his bed by the kitchen while most are sharing rooms. Struggling the same way he does every night.

And tonight he wishes for him. Somehow he wishes for him. Shame and embarrassment, be damned.

Even messages him in the middle of the night from the other room. Three simple words. One simple question.

‘For how long?’

And Isak types back a ‘?’ when he knows exactly what Even is asking about.

‘Isak and Even. Even and Isak. Parity. Evenness. For how long?’

Parity. Isak knows that Even had to google the word. Isak knows that he makes Even do things he wouldn’t normally do, like offer his body for experiments, and jerk off in his own bathroom facing the wall, and take baths with boys who treat him like he’s nothing. Isak knows that Even thinks he feels something genuine for him. He knows that, but he also knows that he’s wrong. That it’s the endorphins and dopamine and all “the good chemicals”. It’s the drugs every perfect song as ever been written for.

Robert Plant wrote ‘Thank You’ for his wife as the perfect love song. It was the first song he ever wrote with Led Zeppelin, the very first. And it’s perfect in every way. But he then went on to have an affair with his wife’s sister and write her songs, too. Not because he’s a bad person, but because one cannot control how one feels, how one reacts to chemicals and neurotransmitters.

Even might feel like writing Isak songs today, but he won’t tomorrow. And that’s okay. Because it’s not real. None of this is.

‘For how long, Isak?’ Even messages him again.

It’s one in the morning. 138 minutes since he kissed Even. And the madness is still there in his bones.

‘Infinity’ He texts back.

Maybe it’s more than fifteen minutes.

And when Even sneaks into his room sixteen minutes later, Isak pretends to be asleep. He keeps his eyes closed until he feels Even’s weight on the bed, his scent all over his brain, his warmth in his bones. He holds his breath until Even embraces him, holds him from behind, spoons him the way he did the night Isak got too drunk and threw up in the bathroom at Kollektivet, when he woke up in the middle of the night and nearly shouted upon realizing that Even was touching him, was able of touching him.

Even holds him and Isak melts into him, curls his back against his chest. And when Even falls asleep, Isak turns in his arms to inhale him and kiss his neck.

I guess we’ll never be even.

And tomorrow, they’ll both pretend not to know that they can have this. But it’s okay. Because at least in the dark of the night, they can.

Maybe it’s not fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s infinity.

Isak kisses him until sleeps takes over.

#ask #skam #isak x even #bfyt #skam fic #how to tag #chapter 12.5? i think #yes Isak knows Even can touch him again #skam fanfic #cuteandtwisted

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