#lila is not careful

[nobodyfamousposts]

Just read the latest Norm story. What do you think if Lila trys to get to Maribug through Adircat? Wish for Adrien to fall in love with her or something to happen to Chat Nior.

"I wish Adrien Agreste would go out with me."

"LILA!" Adrien shouted, rushing into the classroom. "COME QUICK!" He picked her up and took her outside.

"What?! What's going on?!"

Once they were in the sunlight, Adrien suddenly stopped, seeming confused. "I....don't know. I just had a sudden urge to take you outside. It's gone now. Weird."

"Well, it is a lovely day. Maybe it would be nice to spend it together..." Lila said, hintingly.

“Great idea!" Adrien said, beaming brightly.

And immediately turned to Marinette, who had along with the other classmates followed them in confusion.

"Hey, Marinette! You want to relax in the sun with me?"

Marinette gave a little meep sound that would be cute to anyone who heard it.

Unless you were Lila.

__________________

“I wish Adrien Agreste was madly in love with me!”

Lila found herself cowering in a bathroom. Again.

She flinched as an axe slammed into the door enough times to make a hole.

Adrien smiled at Lila through the hole.

“Heeeeere’s Johnny!”

Lila screamed and shoved a stool against the door.

Norm popped in next to her holding a half-empty tub of popcorn.

“It’s even better the second time!” He exclaimed.

“Make it stop!” Lila shouted at him.

“What? He loves you, doesn’t he?”

“Loves me enough to kill me!” She shouted back, both angry and terrified. “Since when was Adrien like this irrational?! I didn’t wish for yandere!”

Norm shrugged. “You wished for him to be—and I quote: ‘madly in love’ with you.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure what you expected, but ‘madly’ and ‘rationally’ don’t exactly mix.”

Lila strained against the door.

“FIX IT!”

“But we didn’t even get to see him replicate the scene from Misery.” He whined.

“NORM!”

Norm sighed.

“Fiiiine.”

__________________

"I wish Adrien Agreste would date me!"

Lila entered the classroom, cheerfully and expectantly. She heard Adrien's voice from inside and just knew that her wish would start once she saw him again.

There was a flash of light that caused Lila to flinch and shut her eyes.

When she opened them again, a few others looked just as confused as she did and apparently at least a couple hours had passed.

"What? What happened?"

"Adrien was akumatized!" Alya exclaimed as she entered, holding up her phone. Adrien followed slowly behind her, looking sheepish as Nino was consoling him.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, at least your outfit wasn't so bad." Nino reassured him.

Lila blinked.

"What?"

Alya turned her phone to show footage of Adrien's akumatization as...

...Fruitlador.

With the power to turn people into fruit.

...including Lila, as Alya's video showed him zaping her into a dark shriveled-looking fruit reminiscent of a large raisin.

"I'm so sorry!" Adrien apologized again. "Are you okay?"

Lila slowly stood.

"Lila?"

...and just...walked out of the room.

"Lila?!"

"I'm sure she's fine." Kim said with a resolute nod.

A loud scream of sheer frustration could be heard from outside.

"Yeah, she's good."

__________________

"I wish for a world where Chat Noir destroyed Ladybug!"

Everything was white and gray. The moon was in pieces. Paris was underwater and whatever buildings could be seen were practically destroyed.

Lila and Norm stared at the scene. Norm in confusion. Lila gaping.

Slowly, Lila turned to look at Norm.

Seeing her look, he held up his hands.

"Hey hey, don't pin it on me! This one was already here!"

[feralnumberfive]

So let me get this straight: Five hid from Lila that he had found his previous journal that told them how to get home just so that he could deepen his relationship with her and hide from the world? So that he could completely forget about his beloved wife Dolores and go on to steal his brother's wife and the mother of their children? And nonetheless without any of his family members knowing where he and Lila are? Completely abandoning his family? And potentially letting them die in another apocalypse?

Fuck that. To the max

[rachemchul]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4, Episode 5 Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days

[eternalnat]

I rarely make tumblr posts, but I am so infuriated by this situation I need to say something about it.

Five Hargreeves, who spent 45 years alone in a post-apocalyptic world, and every single moment of his life since was spent trying to get back to his family. The Five who ran himself dry for 2 weeks straight trying to stop the end of the world, and reunite his family. The Five who slaughtered an entire board of directors just to ensure him family's safety. Who turned back time himself, while bleeding out on the floor, just to save his siblings. You're telling me, that the Five whose entire motivation for living was once saving his family, is the same Five, who in s4 has entirely given up, and in the Subway is the one trying to convince Lila to stop looking after 6 and a half years? The Five who never once stopped trying to return to his family in all 45 years of surviving alone, decides to settle down in a greenhouse and live out a cottagecore life?

Furthermore, the same Five who told Lila that Diego loved her, who reassured his brother that his wife wasn't cheating on him and loved him dearly, the same Five who got on with Lila only due to the fact that they both cared for and loved Diego, the person they had in common, is the same Five who stole his brother's wife, whom he had three children with, just because the writers were excited that Aidan Gallagher was finally legal?

Five who hated authority, who despised when people gave him commands, who wanted nothing more than to retire in s3, is now working for the CIA and willingly calling his boss, 'sir'?

Five who used to be so paranoid and suspicious of everyone and everything, who used to solve problems alone and came to epiphanies that saved the world, who didn't even trust a past version of himself, also didn't realise that his boss of many years had an umbrella tattooed on his wrist?

Everything that once stood out about his character is now gone, as if the writers themselves entirely forgot about his existence until the last moment, and added him in as an afterthought, without thinking of the effect he would have on the story.

[kacievvbbbb]

The fact that Viktor was right there! They were right beside each other and Five didn’t even look at him. Viktor who was his closest sibling and probably his best friend for all he knew the concept of it. Viktor who made him those disgusting marshmallow sandwiches for months hoping he’d come back to eat them. Voice who was all Viktor had when they were kids didn’t even look at him. The world was ending they were about to die and Five didn’t share a moment with a single member of the family he crossed timelines to save. STEVEN! WHAT WAS THE RECIPE!

[bakawitch]

Continuing the Miss Mouser au!

Meet Fama, the villainess in cahoots with Miss Mouser! She has a blade on her glass violin for an extra edge! I named her Fama because she's the roman goddess of fame and gossip, and I felt like that would fit Lila pretty well lol.

Lila wouldn't usually get involved directly with conflicts such as the one between Detective Roux and the villains I've still yet to name, but her interest was piqued when she met Miss Mouser for the first time. The two of them are in a fragile partnership that usually just consists of Fama teasing Miss Mouser and Miss Mouser getting mad because she keeps distracting her from her beloved. She enjoys the discord of the current situation in Paris and is actively pretending to be on the heroes side. She figured out Miss Mouser's secret identity, and she shamelessly inserted herself into Marinette's life.

Marinette Adrien

[mbat]

WHY DO SO MANY OF THE SHOWS THAT GET TO HAVE ENDINGS AND NOT GET CANCELLED FUCK UP THE ENDINGS BY BEING SO DEEPLY OUT OF CHARACTER AND HAVING REALLY BAD MESSAGES

YOURE GETTING WHAT SO MANY OTHER SHOWS DONT EVEN GET TO DREAM OF. WHY ARE YOU FUCKING IT UP!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU FUCKING IT UP!!!!!!!!!!

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Wait this has only just hit me but Lila has all this blackmail on the Agrestes right???

And she was hiding in the Agrestes house TWICE looking for Ladybug's identity. It's entirely possible that she's guessed that Nathalie knows.

And Nathalie, who has both this secret AND the whole lying-to-Adrien thing to contend with... if the truth got out, not only would it hurt Adrien beyond belief, but she'd be arrested - he'd have no one left.

And we KNOW Lila isn't above blackmail...

[bluesyjean]

I think the whole Five/Lila debacle would have been easier to swallow if they'd had one actual conversation that made them feel like the same characters.

Five is responsible for everything that Lila went through, since childhood. These are huge things to get over before she decided to be involved romantically, even if we set aside the fact that she's married (to his brother) with three kids. IF THEY HAD TO DO IT (they didn't) that deserved a 5-10 minute conversation on screen.

Five killed Lila's parents (How did they not talk about them being alive again, it's insane to not get her feelings about it)

Five had a long weird/creepy relationship with the Handler/her adoptive mother, who was implied to have a past with him when he was in his older body

The Commission shaped Lila's entire life, trained her to be a killer, be manipulated by her mom, ALL OF THAT was because of Five quite literally founding the Commission

Five is the reason Lila was assigned to watch Diego, their relationship happened because the Handler wanted him to kill the board and put her there

"They're such similar characters" or maybe Five just forced her to be like him to survive, what if we explore that?

Instead they just have a montage of them having the time of their lives patching each other up and playing chess, then gently bantering about not having enough strawberries for winter if she keeps throwing them at him.

To buy into that is to assume that nobody remembers anything about these characters. They are so much more interesting than you made them out to be.

[confoodles]

TUA SEASON 4 SPOILERS ❗❗❗

Lila's and Diego's pipeline from flirty, might possibly kill each other, bi4bi, malewife and girlboss couple to way too realistic married couple, who resents each other and is clearly struggling and teethering on the edge of a divorce is sth that is so devastating to ME specifically

[weirdwildwonderland]

How TUA should've ended

Lila and Five relationship-Lila and Five don't spend 7 years in the subway. They do get lost, but it's more like two years this time (whoever thought of 7 years was crazy). Two years is enough for Five and Lila to almost kill each other many times, enough for them to cry to each other one night and swear to never talk about it again. Enough for many bouts of food poisoning and starvation and cold nights when the train didn't show up. Enough for Lila to keep waking up with a sick feeling in her stomach because she keeps having dreams where she wakes up in her house, with Grace and the twins and Diego just downstairs. Enough for Five to stay awake as he wipes silent tears away because he's thinking of his siblings. The only ones who have been there for him. They find the strawberry timeline near the end of the two years, and it only makes them miss everyone more. There's a lump in Five's throat as he mutters something about how "wish we could've taken the idiots here" and Lila starts to cry, because something about this timeline is so warm and safe, because she would give ANYTHING to have a Saturday morning with her family again, Diego making her coffee, waking up the twins, reading to Grace. She finds a delicate silver bracelet on the floor of the greenhouse, and remembers how her father gave Grace a bracelet just like this when she was born, and that's when she breaks, and Five begrudgingly helps her off of the floor and pats her on the back. They find the notebook a few days later, and both of them well up as they ride the subway back. It's only been a few hours for the rest of them, and as Diego hugs Lila again, this guilty feeling wells up in her chest, because she remembers how they were before, how distant they had become. But he's still here, somehow. So they go inside and she starts crying when she sees everyone. Diego asks about the bracelet and Lila and Five exchange a look. You tell him. No, you. Diego asks if something has been going on, and it all comes out. Lila crumbles even more. Isolation does funny things to the emotions.

They all finish watching the dance of the sugar plum fairy before the news about Ben flashes onto the screen. It's the most peaceful hour or so of this whole fucked up week

2. They get swallowed by the cleanse.

3. And then they all wake up in the void. All of them are dazed and drained. The man on the TV is talking about shattered timelines (or something related to the themes of time in the show). God watches on her bicycle as they slowly figure out that they lost their powers again. Diego starts crying because he realizes Ben isn't there and Lila comforts him. Luther looks more worried about Diego than about the fact that they're dead. Allison, Klaus, and Viktor seem glad that their powers are gone. Five just looks happy that they're all still together. Klaus goes up to God.

He says something along the lines of "Hey, I'm happy that I can still come up here and all, but you need to get us back down somehow, because there's no way I'm spending all of eternity with THEM. Plus, I have nieces and a nephew and I hope they're...not up here too."

She says something like "They're not."

He stares at her.

She says "I think you're insufferable. I don't know anyone who comes up here multiple times and then goes back down."

"Look, God, I've had it up to HERE with my life so far, and I can say the same about all of them over there. But I've gone through some things recently, and it made me realize that I would really like to keep living it, if you wouldn't mind. And," he points at everyone "they have their reasons. And they deserve to live the rest of their lives out, too."

She stares at him. "I've had it up to here with you too. You know, I watch you down there, sometimes. I think you're better off there. Not up here, annoying me. Plus," she looks over at everyone else (they're freaking out/arguing etc) "it's too early for all of you to be here."

She picks 8 marigolds from her basket and plucks the heads off. They fall to the ground and new sprouts start coming up from the earth. "Whatever was in you, it's gone now." She looks over at everyone, annoyed. "Oh yeah, I forgot you need help to get back." She rolls her eyes.

"You know, you kind of remind me of my niece." Klaus says

She snaps her fingers

Cut to black again.

Cut to outside Diego and Lila's house. It's hot out, and they all wake up on the asphalt in their winter clothes. Everyone starts complaining about how hot it is. Diego gets up and knocks at the door. No one knows what day it is. For all they know, their kids could be teenagers now, and that scares him.

Someone bumps into Lila on the street, and it's the Handler. Only, she's not. She's just a normal woman talking on her cellphone, and she looks at Lila apologetically before continuing her conversation. A woman looks at Viktor and asks him if he needs help off the ground. It's Grace, and she's walking with a baby stroller. Viktor nudges Diego and they're both speechless.

The door opens, and Lila's mom answers. Lila bursts into tears and hugs her. Grace and Claire come to the door and Grace says something about "you didn't pick me up from camp on time, Mommy! And Coco's been crying for FIFTEEN minutes, that's what Grandma said. I think she misses you. Oh, and Ben (boy twin) broke a bowl, but Grandpa said it's okay" and Claire rolls her eyes and asks what they're all doing dressed in coats and tells them that they're all so weird. Grace turns to Claire and accusingly says "You never told me that grownups cry too." Klaus and Allison both burst into tears too, Luther and Viktor look like they're about to cry, and Five just looks the most relieved he's ever been in his life.

Lila's mom sighs and says "Come in, everyone. I don't want to know what you've gotten yourselves into now, but you look hungry. It's too hot out to cook, so you're eating the leftovers." Diego is still crying, but he starts to laugh. And then Five starts laughing too. And then the rest of them. Lila's mom tells them that they really need to get inside now before someone starts looking at them weird.

Cut to shot of all of them walking into the house, taking off their shoes, flopping onto the couch, hugging their kids, etc. Continue to "I think we're alone now" montage of all the side characters walking on the street living life as normal people.

POGO: On the twelfth hour of the 8th day of August, 2024, nothing out of the ordinary happened. You might say it was just a normal day.

Cut to black

Credits roll

Post credits scene

There's a knock on the door. Ben walks in looking dazed, holding Jennifer's hand. "What's up, assholes? I'm back!" he says, before everyone groans and the screen cuts to black again.

END S4E6

[nobodyfamousposts]

More Norm Antics

Just a reminder that I am horrible and this is pretty much crack and to not be taken seriously.

“I wish Marinette was evil!”

“Uh…you suuuure you wanna wish for that?”

“YES!”

“It is the first year of Her Most Imperial, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, in her successful takeover of the world—with fashion!”

Nadja Chamack sounded strangely unconcerned with the news she was announcing, smiling cheerfully from the TV acting as the sole source of light and sound in Lila’s underground bunker.

Lila didn’t care about her. She was more concerned with the images behind the anchorwoman, which were apparently of Marinette’s coronation as Empress of the World and her giving a speech to the crowd.

And by “concerned”, what was really meant was “completely enraged”.

“WHAT THE HELL, NORM?!”

“Whaaaaaaat?” The genie whined. “She’s evil, isn’t she?”

“I didn’t mean for her to be a ‘Villain With Good Publicity’!” Lila shouted.

“You might want to keep it down. Don’t want people outside the bunker to hear you, after all. Calm your tush and all that.”

“I AM CALM! What I want are ANSWERS!”

He sighed, annoyed. “The wish was for her to be evil, and you can’t get more evil than politics.”

“So why is SHE queen of the world while I’M hiding in a bunker?” She demanded.

He stared back blankly.

“Uh…you want a list?”

Seeing she was about to blow her top and likely get them both caught by her screaming, Norm sighed again before proofing a script into hand, then putting on glasses and reading from the script.

“Apparently since she’s always been evil, she took over her lycée class and soon enough the school. Chloe Bourgeois has been a non-issue since her dad lost his reelection campaign and was quickly revealed for fraud and embezzlement, so the former ’Princess’ became a ‘Pauper’. Then Marinette turned Paris into the central fashion capital of the world—or at least more than it already apparently was in this universe. And once her parents sent her off to Dictator School, she graduated early and took over the world to enforce universal fashion sense with an iron fist.”

Lila gaped.

“You can’t be serious!”

Dictator School? Since when was there even a thing? Why hadn’t she known about it sooner?

“As her first decree,” Nadja continued from the television, regaining their attention. “Hawk Moth and all his allies shall be taken into custody and executed for their crimes.”

Both girl and genie stared at the screen.

“This can’t be happening!” Lila exclaimed. “There’s no way they can know I was involved!”

But sure enough, Lila’s photograph and name appeared on the screen.

“If you or anyone you know has any information on the criminal, please contact local law enforcement.” Nadja continued darkly.

Norm blinked.

“You sided with that fruitcake?”

This was bad! This was horrible! The absolute worst!

Lila took a deep breath to calm herself.

“No! No wait! It’s okay! This is fine!” Lila insisted, starting to smirk. “Ladybug’s a goody goody! There’s no way she would just sit by and let Marinette take over the world. No doubt Ladybug will do her ‘hero’ thing and stop Marinette. And since this is my wish, she won’t even know that this isn’t the real Marinette so she’ll be the one in trouble. Or better yet, they’ll destroy each other. Either way, the problem will be solved, so I still win!”

“Next segment will show Her Most Imperial coronate the Miraculous Protectors. People the Imperial has chosen to defend her empire and the world.”

Miraculous? No. No way. There was no way Marinette would have the Miraculous!

But sure enough, an image on the screen appeared of several of the classmates being bequeathed with titles and…were those really the Miraculous?

“How did she get those?!” Lila demanded.

Had she defeated Ladybug?

But then that meant she was right and Ladybug was probably dead or imprisoned so yay there, but it also meant now Marinette had all of the Miraculous and all the power and there would be no one to protect Lila from her!

No, no wait. There was Ladybug on screen. Appearing quite quite well and vexingly alive.

This was the absolute worst! Marinette had everything! The Miraculous! The entire WORLD in her hands! Even Adrien, as he has been presented on screen earlier at Marinette’s side as an official Consort of all things! Appearing quite happily so, for someone being bound to a tyrant.

And most infuriatingly, she couldn’t even have the small satisfaction of Ladybug’s defeat to make this situation at least a little better, as rather than cowering in defeat, it seemed that Ladybug had joined the regime as she stood at the head of the group, giving a speech to the masses.

“—I will do my utmost to find and eliminate the last of the criminals that sought to do harm to the city of Paris and the world!”

The crowd erupted in cheers and a few calls to “burn the witch!”

Lila gaped at the screen

“Sooo….no Ladybug fix then?” Norm asked.

She stared, unmoving.

“Also…not sure how to tell you this, but your bunker isn’t well stocked and you’re out of hot water for showers.” Norm added, scrubbing his back with a bath brush.

Lila twitched.

________________

“Okay, this time it’s bound to work!”

“Uh. Maybe you should stop making wishes about the pig-tailed girl?”

“No! I just need her to do something evil but not world-dominatingly evil for others to see and despise her for! So just take away any restraint and make her horrible!”

“Okay.”

Lila found herself cowering in a bathroom.

Marinette’s voice sweetly came from the other side of the locked door.

“Open the door, Lila~!”

“N-no!”

“YOU LOCKING DOORS, LILA?!”

An axe started slamming into the door.

“YOU LOCKING DOORS?!”

Lila screamed.

She had thought that wishing Marinette to be horrible would cause her to act out more blatantly against Lila and lead everyone to turn against her. She hadn’t thought that it would make her go full blown murder!

It was like something out of some old horror movie.

As if to further illustrate that point, Norm poofed in. Holding a carton of movie theater popcorn and wearing 3-D glasses.

“Wow, the 3-D effect really makes it look real.”

“That’s because it IS real!” Lila hissed at him, barely able to be heard over the sound of the axe being slammed into the door. “Now undo it!”

“You sure? I mean, at least this way everyone will know she’s evil. Once they find your body, of course.”

IF they found her body went unsaid.

“There’s no point in everyone knowing she’s horrible if I’m dead!” She snapped. “UNDO IT!”

Norm shrugged and snapped his fingers.

[deadlydelicious]

Who the fuck were Lila's family? Her backstory in season 2 was that her parents are brits, but in this timeline she just has like 3 or 4 random american aunties and uncles and it's never explained? We're just expected to accept that she has this gaggle of family who are ready to babysit her plot device children.

And why are her and Allison the only one's who get other family members? it doesn't make sense and it feels like we were so cheated out of seeing the Hargreeves sruggle to fit in with whatever nuclear family dynamic this new timeline dumped them in

[clarasghosts]

Ben + they're-his-daughters-now

[avengerphobic]

x-fans mad that luna snow is having a moment and their music faves are flopping. maybe if Dazzler stanned Luna Snow

[feralnumberfive]

Wait, aren't Five and Lila now 7 years older since they were traveling the train system for 7 years? I guess they didn't physically age though?