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#like... I am one for equality and all but I also do that for my (girl) friends a lot of the time
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Sweet Dreams
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A/N: You read my mind anon 💕 I'm not normally a fluffy sweet gal but this idea came to me, and every time I sat down to work on it, I would get stuck reading another and then another amazing Terry fic on here 😮‍💨 shout out to @megamindsecretlair the first Terry fic I read on here was written by her and now here I am, feral and unhinged 😃
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Reader
Summary: Terry has night terrors, luckily he's found you and his love for you keeps him grounded
Genre/Warning: I mean yeah it's sweet and fluffy but y'all know me. 18+, minors kindly fuck off. Oral (f & m receiving), overstimulation (boffum cause they're equally matched)
Also I had this song on repeat writing it...
Please let me know what you think ☺️
Terry’s body was so tense, muscles spasming even in his sleep. His mind was stuck on a painful loop, replaying nightmares he lived and torturing him with tragedy after tragedy. This was familiar to him. He often came to this dream-like purgatory, so he’d trained his mind to pull himself out, fighting against the waves of grief to force himself awake.
He came to with a quiet “shit” escaping from his twitching lips. His fists were balled tightly and his skin was slightly damp from the torment his mind insists on putting him through. His heart was racing and he could feel a panic attack creeping up his stiff spine. Trying to slow his breathing down and ground himself, he focused on his 5 senses to bring him back to reality. 
His eyes locked on the ceiling fan, bringing his attention to the way the cool breeze in the room soothed his heated skin. He could hear your soft breathing next to him, and his heartbeat finally started to calm down some. He turned his head to look at you and inhaled deeply, allowing your sweet cinnamon spiced vanilla scent to comfort the raging emotions inside of him.
His whole body sagged against your bed in relief. Finally able to embrace the reality of being here, in your home, in your bed, with you peacefully resting next to him. His face softened staring at you, thick lips curving upwards with contentment taking in your form. You were on your back just like him, comforter pushed down past your knees from where you kick them when you overheat in the middle of the night. In just his US Marine shirt that you seemed to drown in and a satin scarf. Pretty face relaxed in the most peaceful expression. His heartbeat evened out, all was right in his world. 
He realized he left one of his senses neglected. Taste. He glanced over at his water on your nightstand then back at you. Water would do absolutely nothing for him right now. His mouth is watering for the peace he knows he’ll find nestled between your soft thighs. Moving stealthily like a feline in the night, he crept over to your side of the bed, careful to not jostle you awake. He pushed the comforter completely off the bed, and settled in between your spread legs. You wore nothing underneath his large t shirt, and your scent was more rich here, making his hunger for you more intense. 
He watched your chest rise and fall for a moment, then kissed his way up both your thighs, his beard softly grazing your skin making you shift. His nose nudged the shirt up the higher he kissed, and he heard you release a sigh, legs shifting slightly, spreading and unintentionally inviting him in deeper into your aura. He moved slowly, half of him wanting to let you rest, the other half of him growing surprisingly needy the more he inhaled your sweet scent. 
His shirt now resting on your tummy, you were exposed to him, and he paused to admire you. He’s convinced you’re made for him. Your energy keeping him anchored while his mind healed from life knocking him down more than enough times, your beauty making the walls he built around himself crumble at just the sight of you, your body perfectly taking him in and calming his storm. He was yours completely now, and you don’t even know the power you have over him.
Eyes locked on your face, he brought his plump lips to your own, leaving soft kisses all over your mound. You moaned and shifted again, slightly raising one knee, giving him enough room to hook a strong arm underneath your thigh. His other hand came up to gently part your folds, and he softly blew on your clit to wake her up. 
“Terry…” your voice was thick with sleep, eyes still shut, your breathing was coming out unevenly now. His striking eyes stayed glued to your face, and he watched you let out a sharp gasp as he lazily ran his tongue from your hole to your now very hard clit. 
“Terry!” He smiled into you at your agonized moan, giving you another long deliberate lick, finally satisfying his tastebuds with your essence.
“Take the shirt off, I want to see you.” He gave your clit loving, wet kisses, watching you scramble to free yourself from his shirt, and your eyes finally met his once you were bare.
“Good girl.” His eyes gleamed with pride at you willingly and eagerly giving yourself to him, like you always do. He circled your clit with his tongue, trapping it between his lips and moaning at the taste of you. This is exactly what he needed, to be completely consumed by you. 
You brought one hand down to grip his head, whispered pleas leaving you as you bucked into his mouth. He spit on your pussy and slurped it up, delighted by the way your voice gets hoarse the sloppier he eats. 
“Please baby, I need more!” You sounded so sweet and desperate, your eyes begging him to push you over the approaching edge. You loved that he often ate you out for his own pleasure, choosing to spend hours if he wanted to satiating his hunger. But waking up to his handsome face now wet from you, and his muscled arms guiding your hips to grind on his mouth, and hearing his moans as he indulged himself in you, it was too fucking much. “Pleaseee” you begged again.
“S’okay baby, I gotchu” he stopped playing with you then, wanting to enjoy the privilege of tasting your cum. His tongued moved down to start thrusting into your hole, his head moving up and down so his nose would rub against your clit, and you both moaned. You arched into his mouth as his hands soothed their way up your body to play with your nipples, pulling more wetnesses and pathetic noises from you.
“I’m so fucking close baby pleaseeee” and his lips came back up to your clit, sucking it more firmly and moaning around it. He worked his jaw faster and faster, licking and sucking, and his own hips started grinding into the side of the bed, needing to relieve the pressure in his boxers from chasing your high with you.
He pulled back only to tell you to cum for him, and then he messily made out with your pussy, licking up every drop you gave him as he turned you into a whimpering, twitching, cumming mess. His hands smoothed down your curves to grip your hips as his tongue slowed back down to lazy licks. Both of your hands pushed at his head trying to free yourself as he alternated from licking your pussy to your wet thighs, and back again, making sure he got all of you. 
“Okay Terry, okaaay!” You tried pushing harder, you were so sensitive and he was working you up again. He gave you a mischievous smile, eyes darkening with intention.
“You love me?” His voice so deep with desire it was almost a growl.
“Yes! Yes you know I do baby, come on” he chuckled at your high pitched whine, giving you another sweet lick and your hands were frantically clawing at his back, your clit getting overstimulated. “Let me show you how much I do!” He paused and quirked his brow at you before kissing his way up your body. You could feel his large length pressing against you through his boxers as he held himself over you, locking you into his intense gaze.
“Show me.” He pressed his lips onto yours and you moaned at the distinct taste of you as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your right leg and arm attached to him, holding on tightly and your left leg and arm pushed against the bed, never breaking the kiss as you guided him to lay on his back. Now on top of his sturdy body, your hands smoothed over his muscles and you grind your hips down on him, teasing him through his boxers. His hands came to grip your round ass firmly, giving it a playful jiggle and nipping at your bottom lip with his sharp teeth.
Your hand grips his jaw lightly, and you turn his head, finding that spot just under his ear that always gets you what you want. You give that spot a sweet, wet kiss, and you feel his hold on your ass tighten, making you grind harder on him. 
“I’m in charge now big guy” you suck on his neck, marking him for the world to see, and you miss the content smile on his face. He’s all too happy being yours. You make your way down his body, you roles reversed now, kissing as you go a paying attention to the spots that make him softly grunt and groan with pleasure.
Once you reach his boxers, you slowly stroke the thickness there, looking up at him from under your lashes. His hands were under his head, biceps bulging beautifully, and his eyes were closed with a small smile on his thick lips. He looked so damn handsome, and so peaceful, and so unaware of the hunger he awoke within you. You tugged his boxers down so just the tip was exposed to the warm air between you two, and gave the leaking tip a soft kiss, tasting him there and causing Terry to hiss through his teeth at the feeling. 
“You gonna let me take care of this?” You asked it so innocently while pulling his boxers the rest of the way down, tossing them somewhere behind you and raking your nails back up his legs, sending a shiver down his spine.
“Mmhh” ever a man of few words he opened his striking eyes, nodding at you and flexing his abs, causing his impressive dick to jump slightly. You put one hand on his thigh, and the other confidently gripped his base, bringing his length to stand up closer to your lips, and you watched him bite his plump bottom lip to stop himself from thrusting into your hand.
“I’ll make sure you don’t question if I love you again” he saw the determined glint in your eyes and chuckled.
“Baby I was jok-“ the rest of his sentence was choked off as your hot, wet tongue circled his tip slowly. Your eyes danced playfully as you did it again, watching him squeeze his eyes shut tightly and both his hands move down to grip your sheets.  “Shit baby girl”
You hummed on his tip sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout his body, sucking a little more of him into your mouth before pulling off quickly with a loud ‘pop’. The hand gripping his base stroked up to tease his tip, and Terry couldn’t keep up with all the sensations, he was never prepared to feel your talented mouth on him no matter how often you got on your knees for him. 
“You were saying handsome?” You didn’t give him a chance to answer your cheeky question as you took him back into your mouth, further down this time, your hand gripping the length of him that you couldn’t take and twisting in perfect harmony with your sucking. Deep, almost pained, groans left his mouth as he lightly bucked into your mouth, unable to hold back anymore.
“Fuck” you felt one of his large hands twist into your hair, your scarf long since gone, and he guided you a little bit faster, “just like that, you suck that dick so fuckin good” his words were slurring slightly already and you hummed around him again at his praise.
Moving your other hand from his thigh, you cupped his balls and lightly tugged downwards, and called out your name just like you knew he would. Resisting the pressure he put on your head with his hand in your hair, you repositioned yourself so you could stroke him with two hands and focus your mouth on the tip. He was so big that there was still parts of his dick that went untouched. He thrusted more clumsily in your mouth as you gave him everything, twisting your fists and slurping his tip, your eyes shut in concentration and you moaning around him. You were about to make him cum way faster than he meant to.
“Wait-baby-WAIT!” His hands pulled your head off of him as gently but urgently as he could and you pouted up at him. His chest was heaving, his brows furrowed and his hips still thrusting into your fist that still twisted and stroked around him.
“Aww handsome” your tone was mockingly sympathetic “is my love too much for you?” You couldn’t help the cruel smile that spread across your pretty face, and he frowned back at you, still helplessly bucking his hips.
“I need to be inside you, now.” His gray eyes were dark and serious, but you weren’t phased.
“I’m still in charge, remember?” You leaned forward to lightly kiss his tip and he gave you an exasperated moan of your name. “But I do wanna feel you stretch me Terry.” With that you crawled unhurriedly up his body, giving him soft sucks and bites randomly over his muscles and smooth skin.
You positioned your dripping pussy right over his dick, rubbing your clit on his hardness and you both moaned at just how damn good you felt together. His hands moved to caress your thighs and you quickly grabbed his wrists, placing his hands above his head. He blinked those pretty eyes at you in frustration but allowed you to hold him hostage, keeping the both of you from diving right off that cliff into an ocean of pleasure. 
You smiled down at him, sliding your whole body on him teasingly, he could feel your hard nipples on his chest, you hair tickling his neck, your pussy trying to drown him, it was overwhelming but it was exactly what he wanted. You attempted to hold both his wrists in one hand, your hands were much too small but he obeyed and stayed still all the same, and you brought your other hand down to grip him, positioning him right at your entrance.
“You love me Terry?” You gave him a cute smile, and he wanted to bite your lips, wanted to flip you over, wanted to remind you that you’ve met your match. But he also loved you like this, his passionate hell cat, his wild insatiable pretty girl that wasn’t afraid to take what the fuck she wanted, what she needed. 
His piercing eyes got lost in the depths of your own for another moment before he leaned up so he could speak softly against your lips, “of course I love you baby girl” he kissed you softly and you let him, trying to hold on to your resolve and not melt against him. He pulled back, eyes going from your luscious lips to your pretty eyes, “I love you with everything that I am” his deep voice sounded so earnest, and an intense wave of love and belonging washed over you. He had no idea how much you were his, and you had no idea how deeply he felt the same way.
You finally, agonizingly slowly, sank down on his tip, feeling him start to stretch you despite how sinfully wet you were. Both of you moan, you shift up slightly to take more of him in, and his head falls heavily to the bed, neither one of you able to keep your eyes open, just completely lost in each other. Once you take all of him, clit kissing his base, you give him a torturous grind, pussy clenching around him and adjusting to his large size. He growls out your name and you open your eyes to look down at him, bringing your hand back up to his wrists. 
He glared at you, he was trying so hard to be still, “girl if you don’t fucking move.” You giggled at his serious tone, happy to see the effect you have on him. You begin to slowly rock your hips, watching his jaw twitch, knowing this wasn’t enough for him but not caring because it made him stretch your pussy so deliciously.
“Like this-“ before you could even get your teasing question out, he yanked his hands from under yours, forcing you to brace your hands by his head. His strong hands grabbed your hips firmly, lifting you so he’d have space to slam up into you. You gasped sharply, eyes rolling back in your head as he found a steady pace, the wet smacks of skin filling the room with your surprised moans.
“I fucking tried baby” his deep voice was strained, you did that to him. His head was thrown back and he was panting. The way you sucked his dick, such sweet torture, and now this? He can’t take the hold you have on him. “I really fucking tried to let you be in charge baby. You don’t know what you do to me” he continued to thrust up, hands gripping you tighter feeling how your wet pussy molded around him. You loved when he got like this, when he gets talkative when he’s deep in you, unable to help himself, and you groan and throw your hips back onto him.
You sat up a little higher, bracing your hands on his wide chest, and you both locked eyes again. You bit your lip as you began to bounce, and he smiled at that. “There you fucking go pretty girl, look at you bouncing on this dick, that’s your dick huh baby?” You moaned and nodded, eyes rolling from pleasure and twerked your hips back harder.
“That’s my good girl, soaking daddy’s dick, listen to her talk to me” and you could hear the obscene noises your pussy made. That, combined with his voice talking to you so gruffly, and the feel of his tip hitting that spongy spot deep in you, you were close. He could tell by the way your moans were broken, and how you stopped talking shit, and how you bounced just a little bit harder.
“Play with your clit baby, lemme see you cream all over me” you groaned moving one hand to rub your clit, and the other to pinch your nipple, hips becoming frantic on him. The sight of your head thrown back, loud moans of his name leaving you, beautiful bouncing curves, and the creamy wetness he could see on his dick as he thrusted in and out from underneath you, he was right there behind you.
“Just like that baby girl, I can feel you gripping me, keep going” you worked your clit harder and he moved one of his hands to grip your neck firmly. That was all you needed to let go, your hips bucked wildly and your gripped him like you wanted to snap him in half, he growled at you, eyes never leaving your form has he continued to slam into you through your orgasm.
“That’s. My. Fucking. Girl.” He punctuated each word with a harsh thrust before he stilled, groaning your name and pulling you down onto him, your head in his neck and arms wrapped around his damp body and he softly fucked the last of his cum into you.
You both fought to catch your breath, chests heaving into each others. You gave his neck sweet kisses as he lightly caressed your back. You shifted, the soreness of your thighs and core now getting to you, and your pussy clenched automatically around his dick that was still hard. He hissed and pulled you tighter against him.
“It’s too much” you could tell his teeth were clenched as he said it.
“Oh?” You propped yourself up on your arms by his head once again, taking in his stressed features, he almost looked in pain. You moved like you were going to get off him, lifting your pussy slowly until just the head was caught in her grasp. “Really? Too much?” You lightly twerked on his tip, knowing it was extra sensitive and Terry urgently gripped the back of your thighs trying to lift you off him.
“Too fucking much baby girl, I can’t-“ you left him winded as you sank back down all the way, your pussy was hotter and wetter now, completely engulfing him in blinding pleasure, and he just swears his heart is gonna stop as fast as its beating now. You’re trying to kill him, he’s convinced!
All you do is laugh, getting off on him being overstimulated. It was rare to see him like this, the lines of his neck and hard body so strained, his eyes unable to stay open, crude words leaving his mumbling mouth, his nails digging into your thighs were he’s unable to decide if he should move you away or closer, he was helplessly at your mercy.
You did that move a few more times, slowly lifting up, pussy clenching around him, teasing his tip just barely inside you, and slamming onto him again. It was driving him crazy, he didn’t think he had anything left to give but he felt it coming, and you were determined to get every drop from him. He shouted, turning to bite your arm next to his face, as he came again. It was much less this time but still enough to cause your combined essence to overflow out of you, making a sticky mess between you two.
“That’s a good boy” you teased and he huffed a wheezing “fuck off” at you, lifting your hips with weak trembling arms and pulling you off him finally with a sharp gasp at the cool air meeting his spent dick.
You rested your head on his chest as he caught his breath. You were honestly spent, sore and weak and needed to clean up, but your ego was inflated and your pussy had a pleasant ache to it now. Terry’s chest wasn’t heaving anymore, in fact you were surprised to hear soft snores leaving him. You propped yourself up and looked him over, beautiful features serene, muscles relaxed and pliant, dick softening but an absolute mess, you did good. You weren’t the only one that taps out around here, sometimes he needed to be reminded of that. 
You pressed a sweet kiss to his shoulder and got up to clean yourself, moving sluggishly as exhaustion caught up to you. Terry fell further and further into pleasant dreams that smelled of cinnamon spiced vanilla and tasted distinctly of you.
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Okie dokie 😇 I'm gonna tag people in the comments that I've seen talk about Terry, I'll probably write more for him so let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the future. Like, comments, reblogs and messages in my asks are well received and appreciated 💕
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I remember you wrote a thing where Crowley interviews Fellow for a teaching job, can we get a continuation of that? idk where Gidel would fit so yeah sorry
[Referencing this interaction!]
So tell me, do you wanna go?
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Every morning was a new opportunity presenting itself in a gift-wrapped box. This morning was, perhaps, the grandest opportunity, the greatest gift, of them all.
From the moment Fellow had woken up, he had been a flurry of movement, almost as fast as the words he often spewed. Buttering toast for two (a luxury for them), packing a small bag of pencils (each of varying length), untangling the knots in Gidel's hair, tying the boy's shoelaces for him. He had also been up late redoing the stitching on his suit, ironing the wrinkles out, and searching for a matching pair of socks for Gidel. The first rule of making a good impression: dress to impress.
Even when they were out the door and rushing to the main school building, Fellow fretted. He smoothed out his shirt, redid his cravat over and over, wiped his glasses more times than he could count. (In fairness, that number still wasn't very high, but it was the sentiment that mattered.)
The imminent shadow of Night Raven College loomed, making him feel small and powerless. Here, dreams were made—and crushed.
Like his had been, once upon a time.
His mind blanked. It had run off and hid, shivering in a dark recess somewhere, wedged between doubt and despair.
He was brought back to earth by a warmth and pressure at his arm. Fellow glance down to find Gidel grasping him and offering an encouraging grin. His jacket and vest were oversized, and his tie sloppy, but he glowed with excitement.
“… You’re right, Giddie. What am I mopin’ around for? It’ll do me no good.” Fellow sighed, banishing his bad thoughts in that breath. “We should be celebrating! Today’s a big day for us. Our new beginning.”
Together, they took the brave first step into the foyer. Down the hallway and to the right, their first stop.
Again, his heart raced. Anxiety and fear surging, despite his efforts to keep them at bay.
Smile at the face of danger. Get tough when the going gets rough. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, he coaxed himself. You can do this. Show those snooty little rich kids what you’re capable of!
“Let’s go…!” Fellow bellowed, seizing Gidel by the shoulders. It’s SHOWTIME!”
They barged in, the door opening with such force that it slammed against the wall. Students startled in their seats.
“M-Myah?!” Grim snapped awake from his nap. “What’s happenin’, am I still asleep or what?!”
Beside him, the Ramshackle Prefect perked up. They waved at Fellow and Gidel, as if they had been expecting them all along, Of course—they had been the one to pass along a strong recommendation to the headmaster.
“Mornin’, teach! Mornin’, new classmate!” they chirped.
Ace groaned, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. This is the guy they hired for the new Life Skills course?”
"H-Hey, don't be rude to the new professor!" Deuce hissed at his dorm mate. “Show some respect!”
Show some respect.
Respect! That’s right, he deserved it. He was among them now—amid the elites, instructing them.
Fellow straightened, marching right up to the podium at the front of the classroom. (Gidel followed him, only to be shooed off and whispered a reminder that he belonged in a desk. He scurried to a free spot in the corner, planting his supplies down.)
“Students!” Fellow announced, rapping his fox-tipped cane on the podium. His voice, loud and proud. “Your attention please!
“Welcome to Life Skills. As the name suggests, this class will focus on practical skills that’ll serve you well in life. I’ll be your instructor. The name’s Fellow, Fellow Honest—but please, please, call me by my first name!”
Deuce’s hand instantly shot up. “S-Sir, isn’t that kind of familiarity improper?!”
“In my classroom, everyone’s an equal. Myself included,” Fellow laughed, tipping his top hat at his bewildered audience. “Let’s have fun together, shall we?”
“Wow,” Deuce murmured raptly, seriously impressed. “The new professor’s so chill.”
Gidel and Yuu clapped excitedly for him. Ace rolled his eyes.
“This is gonna be a long semester.”
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sunshinemoonrx · 1 day
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Okay so Skirts on Sentai Suits
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Part of a tokusatsu 20 questions going around recently was "do you like skirts on sentai suits?" Here's the thing: Not all skirts were created equal.
(Preface to all this: I know I am going to be unruly suit-horny here so for the record, give them to the boys too. Obviously.)
Broadly there are four colour schemes:
Suit is all its primary colour, including skirt (e.g. Ryusoulger, Denjiman)
Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs are secondary colour (black or white) (e.g. Gokaiger, Dairanger)
Suit body is primary colour, skirt and legs are secondary colour (e.g. Goseiger, Liveman)
Suit body and skirt are primary colour, legs on the non-skirted suits are also primary colour, but legs on this suit are a secondary colour--THIS IS THE HOT STUFF BABY LET ME EXPLAIN WHY
Okay so it's about "something hidden" or "something you're not supposed to see". If the skirt and legs are the same colour, it all registers as the same 'layer'. If you have a pink/blue/whatever skirt over black or white legs, that more suggests "clothing over body". However...
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The non-skirted suits also have black legs, right? So clearly, that colour/layer is also "okay to see". Symbolically, that's black pants. (Of course, tokusatsu suits aren't only hot in imitating the human form. But we're talking about tight bodysuits in this post, not big sexy monsters, so follow me here.)
But if you've got a skirt over black/white legs, and the non-skirted suits have solid-colour legs...now that's a symbolically "lower" layer than the 'costume' shape.
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So thank god for ninjas. See, in Hurricane the solid colour is the 'clothing', and the grey is 'beneath'; the shoulders of the sleeves emphasise this (contrasted with the Gouraigers' black pants, whereas even they have grey sleeves). In other words, that's a colour that has to be covered on certain body parts to be 'appropriate', like skin does. In Ninnin, solid colour is 'clothing' and black is 'beneath'--extra emphasised by the thigh-highs, which as I recently posted about, Jesus Fucking Hell.
Like, this is all an illusion. Obviously, the colour 'beneath' is just a bodysuit. ShiroNinger's black legs under there look exactly the same as, say, ShinkenRed's. And let's not forget, nice legs in a tight bodysuit are nice in and of themselves. But the concealment...the suggestion of something forbidden...the whole colour scheme lining up to reinforce this...(And well, Hurricane Blue does even have blue 'panties' under there...which again, if you took away the skirt would just make the blue a leotard-style shape like the Flashman etc. suits and not feel like underwear at all, but the fact that it's hidden and you get brief flashes...)
Interestingly, there's a third season that achieves this effect a different way--Jetman:
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Now, all the suits here have secondary-colour legs--but uniquely in all of sentai, here the boys get a short-shorts/leotard/something shape, not too far off the girls in, say, Bioman. This means that at least for the lower body, white is an 'underlying' colour (or pink for White Swan, a common colour-scheme-swap for white rangers in a team with white as a secondary colour). So you do get the layered/"this colour has to be hidden above the thigh so it's intriguing" effect...sort of...the upper-body colour scheme confuses this and makes it hard to equate it to an outfit shape, as I also recently posted about. (And ofc, imitating an outfit is not the only objective of a sentai suit--the Jetman suits look great!)
Potentially post 1/3 if I can be bothered to post the other two. Yes there is more to say about this. Yes you will get my opinion on every single team in the third one if I do. Yes there is something wrong with me
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i'm amazed by the energy that antibucktommy people bring to this show like one of the most beloved characters and one of the biggest storylines in the very first season wasn't bobby and the fact that he murdered 148 people including his wife and children and is trying to rebuild his life. it's almost like this show has been saying since the beginning that people can grow and be better and maybe we should give them the space to do that.
anyway buck and tommy were really cute this episode. and there's something so teenage giddiness about them hiding behind a couch for a fake surprise party and flirting that just makes me so happy for the sheer queerness of the experience for buck
This is honestly why I stopped interacting with a lot of segments of fandom over the summer and started curating my fyp and tumblr follows a little more intensely. All of the characters have done horrible things (some more recently than others), things that are usually regarded as unforgivable. Bobby's story is the big one, but Hen's cheating storyline, Athena's many and varied abuses of power as a cop, Chim's really pretty sus relationship with Tatiana, Eddie's fight club era and his treatment of the women he gets into relationships with, Buck manipulating Taylor (like, kind of a lot)...like they've all done terrible things and we have watched them come back from it and learn and grow and change, and love them for it.
I think a lot of it stems from the fact that the horrible things they did were not done to our faves (I'd argue the fandom didn't know Karen well enough during the cheating storyline to not feel inclined to forgive Hen for it) and the fact that the racism and sexism displayed by Tommy at first are such lightning rod issues anyway (as well they should be). And, yes, let's be real, the majority of it is what I'll kindly call disappointment that we got Bi!Buck after all this time, but not Buddie. And that's fair (to an extent...there's NO excuse for the kind of harrassment we saw over the last few months).
But the vitriol displayed towards BuckTommy and the people that ship them is just really outsized in my opinion. The show is going out of their way to show us that Tommy is good to Buck (and friends with Eddie), and that they are enjoying each other. Whether or not it leads to Buddie, don't we WANT Buck to have a good relationship for his first as a queer man? Everyone talks about representation being SO important--we have an extremely masculine characater (who has canonically been presented as a playboy/heartthrob type) discovering a new facet of his sexuality when he's nearly in his mid-thirties, and exploring that facet with a love interest that is EQUALLY as masculine. This storyline is important! It's breaking a lot of new ground and doing it in a really nicely done way.
And in regards to Tommy...I dunno, maybe it's because I've grown up in an environment that pretty much BREEDS men like BeginsEra!Tommy. Yes, they have a choice not to be the way they are--but unless you live in it, it's hard to understand how hard making that choice, or even recognizing that you DO have a choice, really is. I think it's also important to show a character who didn't remain a piece of trash human, and was able to accept that they were wrong and CHANGE. If the only way you can ever be defined is by what you were at your very worst, what is even the fucking point of changing? No one owes you forgiveness, even after you do the work to change...but nor do you deserve to be punished forever.
I dunno, I just wanna enjoy my weewoo show and I'm tired of people harshing my buzz (heh, see what I did there?) I still ship Buddie. I ship BuckTommy. Most of all I ship Buck/Happiness and I am eager to see if he finally gets some that lasts.
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tgmsunmontue · 2 days
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Season to Taste - 21/? WIP
Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.
PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FORTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTYONE
                Vi enters the kitchen looking worried and he’s immediately concerned that something is going wrong front of house. She’s good, but there are still so many moving parts that she can’t catch everything. There are people that think they’re together, with how they’re portrayed on TV, and obviously the more they deny it the more people think they’re actively trying to hide it, so they’ve given up denying at least and just saying no comment. It’s easier and they’re not that exciting really, they have to lose interest eventually.
                “Leonardo…” Vi starts and one of his eyebrows shoots up. Italian it is then. She wants to say something and not have others understand. “There’s a guy out front saying he wants to talk to you. Says he’s your uncle?”
                For the briefest of seconds he thinks it might be Mav, but no, it has to be Ice. Mav wouldn’t say uncle, he always used godfather.
                “Tall guy. Looks really fucking intimidating?” Bradley asks, already untying his apron and straightening his top.
                “Oh. So you do know him?”
                “Yeah. Come on, let me introduce you to my Uncle Ice.”
                “Ghiaccio,” Vi offers, clearly thinking he’s forgotten the Italian word for ice and he laughs and shakes his head.
                “No. Not ghiaccio. His name is Ice. Or Tom actually I guess.”
                “Oh. Oh this is, he’s your… okay. Yeah. I want to meet him properly.”
…            …            …           
                “You said you don’t scare easy… guess it’s time to prove it.”
                “Gladly,” Bradley says, because he’s faced down far scarier people, and done it without anyone by his side. Jake grips his hand, and he’s not sure if it’s to show him support, or because he himself needs the physical touch right now. Regardless Bradley pauses and pulls Jake into a quick hug, presses a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll be fine.” He’s got two bags of food in his other hand, and Jake is balancing the cake in his free hand
                Jake nods sharply, sucks in a breath and rolls his shoulders back, like it’s not his own family home he’s about to enter and he wonders why Jake is so nervous. He squeezes his hand and the smile and nod he gets almost has him laughing with how reassuring Jake is trying to look. It’s fucking adorable and he hopes for Jake’s sake it’s all going to go smoothly, so he’ll be friendly and helpful and charm them all. He knows he can put on the charm, Maria already likes him and Jake had seemed to think she was going to be one of the hardest to impress.
                Maria had sent him a series of messages, letting him know she’s informed her siblings exactly who Jake was suddenly dating. That Jake called him Leo, so they could call him Leo or Bradley. She’s also explained to them that Jake seems to either not know the extent of Bradley’s fame, or simply doesn’t care, either way they all needed to be equally chill. She’s told him that Olivia is excited to meet him again, and the fact that he has met her before on the previous Saturday at the farmers market makes him feel even more prepared. That’s almost half of Jake’s sisters right there.
                He follows Jake and the door opens in front of them, like they’ve been watched the entire time and he isn’t surprised. A man is standing there, much too young to be Jake’s father, and he’s reaching out to take the cake from Jake’s hands.
                “I am under very strict instructions to rescue this cake and then protect it with my life… I’m Daniel by the way. Sandra’s husband. You see kids running around they’re also mine…”
                “Bradley,” he offers, dropping Jake’s hand to shake his, and then Maria is there, taking the cake from Daniel like she doesn’t trust him to hold it and Bradley grins at her.
                “Hey Maria.”
                “Bradley. Nice to see you again… thank you for this,” she says, eyes alight with glee and Bradley grins. He always likes making food for people who really appreciate it and Maria has got an excellent grasp of flavors so he hopes it lives up to her expectations.
                “I, uh, made a bit more food and thought I’d bring it along. Rickard –”
                “Oh. Do you have some of his salsas?”
                “Yeah. And fresh corn chips.”
                “Perfect. Come on through. Ignore the chaos.”
                Bradley isn’t quite sure what chaos she’s referring to but then he follows them out the back and then there are kids running around and then there are three women all standing there, all looking at him with varying degrees of skepticism and interest. He smiles and passes his bags to Maria, explains the additional food and is grateful to learn that it’ll go well with what she has planned. That they’d already done a bunch of stuff for lunch so he’s not contributing to over catering. Then she’s waving him off and Jake is hovering awkwardly and Bradley reaches for him, feels him settle a little as he wraps his arm around his waist.
                “Olivia right? Nice to see you again.”
                “Yeah. Hi.”
                Then he’s meeting Sandra and Nicola, who seem cooly polite, especially compared to Maria and Olivia’s much warmer friendliness. Jake hadn’t been wrong, there is a weird feeling, and he can only guess it’s the emotional upheaval of the day. He’d suggested, both to Jake and also Maria via messages, that maybe it could be postponed and told in very uncertain terms that that was not going to be happening. Also it’s an early dinner because many of them will get up early to be at the market to set up first thing in the morning. His offer of help has not been accepted. This time.
                There is no sign of Jake’s father, or Amanda, but no one is saying anything, so he stands there and makes small talk about the different places he’s travelled to, apparently a topic of conversation which they’ve all deemed appropriately safe. Jake is tugged away to play by his nieces and nephew and it’s very clear from both the torn look on Jake’s face that he wants to go as much as he doesn’t want to leave Bradley unattended with his sisters. Fortunately whatever expression he’s wearing and the expectant look on Sandra’s face have Jake heading out to the garden to throw and kick balls around, throwing an apologetic look over his shoulder as he goes.
                “So. Bradley.”
                “Yeah.”
                “You seem… normal.”
                “I… I’m sorry? Was that meant to be a compliment or an insult?”
                “Neither. Simply an observation. You’re not quite like how I imagined.”
                “What you imagined? Let me guess… someone hard to please and with a short fuse?”
                “Well, that is how you’re portrayed.”
                “Short fuse, yeah, when I was younger maybe. Definitely now when I’m stressed. But… no. Not me at all. Just what they choose to show of me. Sometimes I play it up when they ask me too….”
                “I knew it!” Olivia declares and Bradley shoots her a quick grin. “And Sandra only watched highlights on YouTube last night, I think she focused on a compilation one which just shows you yelling at people.”
                Bradley pulls a face, because he’s not a fan of those moments, but he also knows that a lot of people are. Then he hears the door open again and everyone turns toward it and there is another woman, one who is carrying a large bag and a baby and this has to be Amanda and her son Lincoln.
                “Holy shit. Bradley Bradshaw.”
                “He is.” “Do you not read your messages?” “Mandy!”
                “Hi. Nice to meet you.”
                “Holy shit, Maria, you weren’t joking.”
                “Does she usually?” Bradley asks, looks to Maria who is rolling her eyes.
                “Well… no. I just thought maybe you were a guy that just looked like him. Rather than actually being him…”
                “I’m actually him. Have been my whole life.”
                “Except for when you go by Leonardo,” Sandra states and Bradley shrugs.
                “I’m both Leo and Bradley, same person. I answer to both equally. I just usually expect Leo to be followed with a stream of Italian…”
                “Jake’s been learning Italian.”
                “He told me,” Bradley says, tries not to feel too smug about the fact.
                “Anyway, I’m Amanda. It’s nice to meet you.”
                “Nice to meet you too. And this must be Lincoln…”
                “He doesn’t like strangers…” Amanda says, already apologetic as if her son is about to scream in his face and Bradley shrugs. He likes kids, but he isn’t going to make grabby hands for a baby he’s just met, or a mom who has just met him. “Huh. Apparently you don’t make him scream. So yeah. Here,” and then he’s having a baby foisted onto him and he cradles the small body against his chest automatically, looks at her in surprise only to find all five sisters now grinning and it’s so similar to Jake’s it is a little unnerving.
                “So, you like kids?”
                “Yeah. Big family. Lots of cousins.”
                “Hmm.”
…            …            …
                Jake isn’t sure what his insides are doing when he sees Leo holding Lincoln, but he does know he needs to immediately capture it on his phone, quickly takes a snap and realizes it’s the first picture he’s taken of Leo. Nicola and Amanda are both smirking at him, and he turns back to Daniel, can’t even subtly give them the finger with the kids around. He sees his sisters move as a pack, Leo trailing after them with Lincoln still in his arms and Daniel jerks his head.
                “Go on, go rescue him and see if your sisters need any help…”
                “Like they’ll let me help,” Jake mutters under his breath, but he slopes off and tries not to feel too bad at the disappointment from his niblings as he leaves them to their games. Of course, he should have prepared himself better, gets almost to the kitchen to find that they’re not grilling Leo about himself, they’re grilling him about Jake. What the hell, that’s not the way it’s meant to go. He stands just out of the way, catches Leo’s eye and the little wink which makes his stomach do a little flip.
                “Wait. Jake’s cooked for you? How did that go?”
                “He’s a perfectly good cook,” Leo states, ducking his head.
                “Could you taste anything other than sauce?”
                “He cooks to survive, not to enjoy…”
                “He didn’t put any sauce on mine. And I enjoyed not having to cook.”
                “Wow. Must be true love.”
                “It ain’t blind, it has no taste…”
                “And I’m working on making him a sauce…”
                “You’re what?”
                “Oh my god, you’re going to make him sauce… He’s going to get his own signature sauce. Of course he is.”
                “I don’t know if that’s sweetly romantic or sickeningly romantic…”
                “So sweet it makes you sick?”
                “Bingo. That’s it…”
                “You’re all just jealous,” Jake declares, and they all jump a little, turning to look at him and he scoops Lincoln from Leo’s arms, surprised but pleased when Leo gives him a kiss, catches the pleased look a couple of his sisters shoot him and feels warm inside. They’re moving food to the table, setting out plates and tableware. Their dad is apparently less than five minutes away so his window of being able to be a little inappropriate is closing rapidly.
                “And you can stay jealous. He makes me breakfast in bed too.”
                “Yeah. I wonder why,” Nicola says dryly, and there are so many snorts and huffs of amusement he can’t tell if any of them didn’t, including Leo. Traitor.
                “I don’t mind making breakfast for everyone one morning…”
                “You’re not making any of my sisters a morning after breakfast!”
                “I made you a morning after breakfast…” Leo states, and Jake blinks at him, but his sisters, for the most part, are all cackling like mad and while the idea of Leo teaming up with his sisters should scare him, it instead thrills a part of him, that they already getting on well enough to hassle him.
                “Yeah. For…” Jake looks around, and his nieces and nephew have come inside and are all looking at him avidly and he slumps back against the bench. “Fine. Cook for whoever you want.”
                “Oh my god. Can you make me eggs benedict?”
                “He’s not your personal chef!” Jake grumbles, and for some reason this makes Leo laugh and kiss the side of his face again.
…            …            …
                He’s coming back from the bathroom, ready to eat when he nearly bumps into someone in the entryway taking off their boots. This must be Jake’s father.
                “Oh. Sorry sir. I didn’t see you there.”
                “You… You’re Bradley Bradshaw.”
                “Yes sir?”
                “I’m sorry. What are you doing here exactly?”
                “Uh. I’m Jake’s…” he waves a hand, suddenly at a loss for words. Wants to say boyfriend, however it feels to juvenile, but partner is far too serious and Vi is his literal business partner. “Date?” Bradley asks, wondering what Jake’s father has been told exactly.
                “I thought Maria told me your name was Leonardo…”
                “You can call me Bradley sir, Leonardo is my Italian name, and it’s the name I used the first time I met Jake.”
                “Huh. You can call me Chuck. Nice to meet you, Bradley. Of all the young men Jake could bring home he brings home you. Kinda funny.”
                “Uh…” Bradley isn’t quite sure what to do or say in reply to that.
                “Sorry. My wife loves watching you cook is all.”
                “Oh.” Oh.
                “I mean, I’ve seen some of them so often I can probably transcribe them, but Jenna really enjoys it. Especially when you yell at people.”
                “Oh, I don’t really…”
                “It’s fine son, I’m well aware it’s likely dramatized to make it more interesting. But she seems to think you’re well justified in your yelling. We enjoy watching it together and just… of all the people that Jake could have started dating he somehow picked one that his mother has a chance of recognizing. I’m assuming he told you about her.”
                “Yes sir.”
                “Less of the sir, just Chuck will do. He’s got no idea you’re on TV does he?”
                “I don’t believe so sir.”
                “Huh. Yeah, that boy never liked watching TV growing up. Being outdoors was where he wanted to be. School was a challenge, until they could teach him why things would be useful. You got yourself a handful there,” Chuck says, then shoots Bradley a wink. “And if I find out you’ve been inappropriate with my baby I’ll have you know I own a shotgun!” he says much louder and Bradley hears Jake’s exasperated dad! And he can’t help but laugh.
                It’s not what he was expecting, to simply be accepted and welcomed with open arms reminds him so deeply of the Gallo family it almost hurts in the best type of way. Because there’s also the edges of happy craziness and banter going around and the deep love they have for each other. When Jake kisses him all he gets are self-indulgent smiles aimed in their general direction. Yeah. He could get used to being part of this family too.
TWENTYTWO
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katyspersonal · 2 days
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God, not to be one of those "hateful anons" but you really need to drop the "holier than thou" type thing on all of your lore posts. As much as I'd love to debunk why half your arguements are overused and don't work, I'll save that because that's not my point.
On almost all of your lore posts you mention at least once how "people aren't ready for stories of this level" or some shit along those lines, and let me ask you this: Why do you think people like you can digest these stories better? You would probably answer something like "Because I can understand these stories unlike these stupid from haters" or something.
You aren't digesting these stories better then anyone else just because you spend 1000 hours looking into what Morgott's moldy toe item description mentions. Like seriously, all this complaining about why the fandom sucks yet youre just like all those "holier than thou" people in the fandom who keep mentioning how THEIR perspective is better then someone else's.
You also keep acting like personal interpretation doesn't exist on some note. Saying how [X] is actually what happened and that people are denying [X].
I looked into your blog because I thought some of your posts were interesting, but it turns out youre literally just like all the other fromsoftware fans you complain so much about. Hopefully this gives you some perspective, I guess.
Nah, it "didn't give me the perspective", because you are the one seriously misunderstanding here. I say that we as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories SPECIFICALLY to criticize fandom behavior.
We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because there are people who claim that "Miquella's character was assassinated by bad writing because in the base game he was hyped up to be kind and compassionate", when his arc was a fall from grace. How falling from grace equals writing him to never have had that grace to begin with? We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because whenever Fromsoft does not directly state something, fandom splits into two hostile groups each accusing another of media illiteracy or even various -isms and -phobias. (I advice you to ask Gehrman fans from Bloodborne fandom for extra insight on this one) We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because when they DO state something directly, the "cool kids" of the fandom decide it was either a bad writing or that they know better, and start to side-eye everyone who prefers canon over their """improved""" fanon. We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because Miyazaki's brand of moral ambiguity, admission that there is no clear solution to world's problems and questioning the nature of humanity itself OFTEN falls on the deaf ears.
Like... you do realize that I still consider myself part of the fandom, despite not engaging beyond what is on my feed? That I do not claim that /I/ am ready for Miyazaki's writer genius? Just like everyone else, I can only do my best to TRY to understand him! Nonetheless, I am trying my best to be mature, and encourage maturity in others. It is hard to remain always calm and nice in a fandom that feels like a battlefield, everyone will get a bit rude! The point is to TRY to be better, which most people don't see the need for! I am calling out fandoms bad behavior and refusal to look deeper into story and characters than their habits and preferences, especially because these preferences often lead to conflicts and toxicity, not claiming moral superiority over my headcanons!
Personal interpretations are fair. What is NOT fair is when someone harps on a very well-researched post with easily debunked arguements, basically doing the "your post is nonsense because in my fanfic things are different" on them, and then another person that did not even read the post nor actually researched the lore beyond their preferences passionately agrees.
I'll have you know that I never spent "1000 hours on analyzing". I am autistic, you goddamn coward. I understand some obscure detail in a flash by just looking, or suddenly come up with an insight while busy at work. Sometimes I literally dream a theory or observation! I do not understand where the misconception that everyone needs to spend a lot of time to be hyper-observant about their special interest comes from. However, you believing that about me makes your claim even worse. You seriously just said that analysis of someone who.... well, analysed the lore, is not as valid as analysis of someone who just took scraps of lore they personally enjoyed to create their own thing. How does this make sense, exactly? Again: you'd have SOME point if you spoke against a stuck-up Reddittuber who makes it their daily mission to ruin someone's joy if their headcanon is not 100% accurate to the source, however, so far the inverse has been happening. People who decided something about lore just because it appealed to THEM will go and be rude to people who are trying to be objective. Not only this; I've had my headcanons (!) "corrected" multiple times because they were different from popular fanon!
.........speaking of certain people who think it is okay to harp on someone's lore post to downplay it when they are not even lorediggers themselves.... -_-
The way you glazed through my blog and jumped into an extremely inaccurate conclusion about my personality and attitude reminded me of the same impulsivity when someone took "stop treating Marika as noble hero against Hornsent evil, here are bad things that happened during her reign" as as "just another poorly researched Marika hate 🥺". 🙃 Your obvious vitriol for thorough lore research, your poorly disguised manipulation (you clearly did not think my posts were "interesting" with how much disdain you just expressed FOR them, but you wanted to wound me by faking "disappointment"), and above all, timing. My tone in yesterday's Marika and the fandom rant was in no, NO way different from how I usually speak in my blog! My mutuals (all 8 of them lol) can confirm! Yet I've never received (inaccurate) anon hate for this.. until now. Until recent very unfortunate encounter with extremely shallow individuals that started a debate yet refused to finish it when hypocrisy of the both was pointed out. 🌛
I think I know who you are. :/ 🤔 I'll keep that in mind, and being "prepared" will definitely lessen the effect if you try anything of the sort again, be sure of this.
(At the same time, IF I am wrong and you are just a fan that found me through that interaction, I'll have you know that your lowly cowardice by using anon instead of showing your face has put someone else under suspicion, and it will remain so unless you show yourself. In which case, hope you are proud of yourself. 🤦‍♂️)
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world-of-theories · 3 days
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“And now an average conversation between N, V, and Uzi”
Uzi: oil is cool and all. but have you ever had someone care about you?
Uzi: me neither. Pass the arm
N & V: …are we a joke to you
————————————————————————-
Uzi: We’re gonna die
N: now Uzi, think positive
Cyn: hi ;3
Uzi: I’m positive we’re gonna die
————————————————————————-
N: here you go Uzi. Go set something on fire. *hands her a railgun*
Uzi: *runs off* I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!!!
————————————————————————-
Uzi: ok guys I have to show something. just promise not freak out.
V: listen we’ve been on crazy adventures
N: whatever it is we’ll understand
Cyn: hello [smile]
V & N: there is nothing about this we understand!
————————————————————————-
Uzi: congrats you just won a lifetime supply of oil
J: but you only gave me one can of oil
Uzi: *pulling out her railgun* yep
————————————————————————-
V: Uzi which one of us is your favorite
Uzi: I don’t have favorites you both annoy me equally
V:*walks away doubtful*
Uzi: *turns to N* its you, one hundred percent you
N: :D
————————————————————————-
Thad: Uzi I dare you—
N: Uzi isn’t allowed to except any dares.
Lizzy: what?! why?
Uzi: I have no regards for my own personal safety.
Lizzy: …ok then V I dare you to—
N: V also isn’t allowed to except dares.
V: I also have no regards for anyone else’s safety other then you idiots.
Uzi: I once dared her to bring me a head of a sentinel and she come back covered in oil with the head
————————————————————————-
Uzi: in my defense I was left unsupervised
N: wasn’t V with you
V: In my defense I was also left unsupervised
————————————————————————-
N: UZI WAKE UP THE SUN HAS RISEN!!!
Uzi:*clearly to tired to process the sentence* and what do you want me to do photosynthesis
V: NO YOU IDIOT RUN FOR LIFE!!!!
————————————————————————-
N & V:*watching tv and eating batteries*
Uzi:*walks into the room*…. The game
N:*drops his batteries*
V: OH YOU LITTLE—
————————————————————————-
Lizzy:*confused*
Thad: what you got there Uzi
Uzi:*cyn tail biting her arm* smoothie
————————————————————————-
V: I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID!!!!
Uzi: and what part of that was out of character for me?
V: …touché
————————————————————————-
Uzi: So you’re essentially a ghost now
Doll: да [yes]
Uzi: and only me and the talking tail can see you
Cyn: hello
Doll: ну, похоже, меня видят только дроны, зараженные абсолютным решателем [well it seems like only drones infected with the absolute solver can see me]
N: *walks into the room* hey Uzi, hey cyn, hello shadowy figure with red eyes
Doll:…цто [what]
Uzi: did you seriously didn’t consider that cyn didn’t infect them with the solver before she sent them here
Cyn: idiot
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katerinaaqu · 11 hours
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Zeus was following Justice by helping the Trojans, Hera was unaware and opposing (An Employing Ritual analysis based on Homer's Iliad)
So many people out there have read the first rhapsody/book of Iliad and many speak badly on how Zeus acts at the council or how he silences his wife with a threat, telling her to "stay put" or basically to...keep her mouth shut because that is his will. And then of course we have all the usual talk about mysogyny and all that stuff
I am not going to argue that indeed in ancient Greece equality beteween men and women was not a thing and absolutely if your husband nowadays told you to shut up and stay out of the way obviously in modern day ears sounds like the biggest red flag ever. Of course despite Homer writing some of the most powerful female characters ever in both their behavior and their position, he still reminds to his audience the marital duties of a wife through the behaviors of en in mythology. Of course no one can deny that indeed despite the fact that Hera is his co-regent she is inferior in power and position than her husband due to the laws of marital duties of that time. However it also needs to be noted how incredibly human the characters act; Zeus gets furious at the nagging of his wife (his wife opposes him before his family as well) so he loses it in anger and threatens her. Sounds like the average couple fight at a family dinner XD
However the analysis is not about the marital duties (or not entirely! Hehehe there will be a mention on Zeus's threat at the end of this analysis). Is what brought that fight to begin with and that would be Zeus's decision to listen to Thetis's request. Why is he following justice and why Hera even though she brings valid arguements is unaware of certain details? Okay bukcle up for this will be probably long;
The Employing Ritual and Thetis's Request
In ancient Greek literature we often see a ritual take place. It is quite similar to the customs of Xenia; a holy unwritten law that humans and gods alike obey which is the employing aka when you make a request of someone or when you beg someone to do something for you. Culturally the ritual seems to be going like this; an individual falls on the knees of the person they want to be their benefactor and they hug their knees while making their request. The request could be anything from a simple favor till sparing one's life in a desperate situation (For example see Helen doing that to Menelaus when she begs for her life, something I also memorize to my fanfiction , or Odysseus begging Circe to let them go from the island of Aeaea). In more formal occasions, the one making the request can also touch the chin or the person they employ to make their point even clearer
The power imbalance between two people is not necessary but of course by n large in mythology we see examples of the inferior in power person to beg a superior in power, like a commoner begging a king due to the fact that we usually have someone in a tough position that makes the request.
Then if someone needs to make a request, after finishing with the physical gesture, begins the verbal exchange. Usually the person in question brings up to their benefactor a favor they did for them before or try to appease to the person's feelings or both. So the request usually goes like this: "Please, if I ever did this good to you and you are good yourself and you respect the laws of the gods you shall do this favor for me" Then by n large, like it happens with the custom of Xenia, the benefactor has no real ability to refuse. In theory they can refuse the employing party but that would make them unjust to the eyes of the gods so by n large the benefactor knows that he has no way of refusing and he has the moral obligation to fulfill the request. Usually the benefactor finishes the exchange by promising to the employing party that they will do them the favor they request.
In the first Rhapsody of the Iliad, Thetis finds her son crying because he feels ashamed that Agamemnon removed his beloved price-woman Briseis from him and he wants revenge. He asks his mother to ask for Zeus to grant him that revenge and he tells her she should go and beg for it to him. Thetis obeys and flies to Olympus to find Zeus alone sitting on his throne.
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And swiftly she sat close to him and she clasped his knees with her right hand while she touched him beneath the chin with the other and beggingly she spoke to Zeus son of Kronus the king: "Father Zeus, if I ever among the immortals have helped you with my words or my actions, fulfil me this wish; honor my son, who is destined by birth to die early, and still the king of men Agamemnon has dishonored him: by taking away his chosen price to have her himself. But you, Olympian Zeus, lord of council, honor him by granting victory to the Trojans till the Achaeans give back my son his honor"
(Translation by me)
So here Thetis basically uses all the tools she has. She starts by asking Zeus to remember her actions towards him, if she ever did something good, for him to remember it and then she transfers him her emotions; my son is destined to die young, she says (which ironically seems to be the case for Zeus himself since we know his own son Sarpedon is to die in battle in Troy, which is another interesting parallel created by Homer) and then she brings him before her wish; so that Zeus would grant victory to the Trojans in battle till the Greeks miss Achilles and give him back his honor. She even is essentially comparing Zeus to Agamemnon when she says "συ περ" ("but you") in one essence "Agamemnon has dishonored my son but you are different! You are just"
As we said before, not even gods can disobey the law of Cosmos! Zeus has no choice but to obey Thetis's request and grant her her wish. And it is clear that his bounding to her request doesn't give him pleasure. In fact Homer says that he stays completely still and silent. He is even processing in his mind what he can do on it because he has nothing personal against the Greeks. Thetis realizes his hesitation and she keeps holding onto his knees to make sure he knows they are still doing the ritual till he gives his response! In fact his hesitation is so long that Thetis needs to make her request a second time and this time she ups the game!
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Give me your irrefutable promise and nod your head or refuse me, for I know there is nothing you are afraid of, I know very well out of all of you (here: the gods) I am the least honored!
(Translation by me)
Thetis here not only does she use an indirect threat (she implies that Zeus can refuse her because he is the king of gods. She basically says "sure you can refuse me this holy work. What do you have to be afraid of? You are the epitome of justice. Justice will not fall on your head!") and then she uses emotional manipulation. She basically says "oh sure dishonor me too! I am the least honored by all the gods so why not of you too?" To that Zeus is certain he cannot refuse her. In fact he already knew. However the fact that Thetis keeps pressing him he knows that there is no way around or toning her request down despite the fact that he, again, has no reason to do that to the Greeks and what is more he doesn't want to quarrel with his wife who is clearly helping the Greeks. In fact he calls her request "λοίγια ἔργα" ("sad work" or "wreched business") but he accepts. Because that is the just thing to do. And he nods his head to her.
But what favor was indeed Thetis insinuating here?
Achilles gives us the answer in the same rhapsody a few lyrics prior:
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For I heard you many times at my father's palace bragging that only you came repell the shameful ruin of the son of Kronos, the lord of dark clouds, when the Olympians wanted to bind him; even Hera and Poseidon and Pallas Athena, but you arrived, goddess, and freed him from his binds, quickly calling the Hecatoncheir (one-hundred armed) whom the gods call Bariareon but all men call Aegaeon to tall Olympus, who is much greater in strength than his father and sat by the side of the son of Kronos, restoring his authority and the holy gods saw him and got scared.
(Translation by me)
So basically this grand favor that Thetis was referring to, for which she required her son's wish to be granted was Thetis coming to assist Zeus out of a coup that was staged by his own family! So there was absolutely no way that Zeus could refuse her by seer grattude alone yet alone now that he was the epitome of justice
Zeus follows his own laws.
Zeus is known for being the epitome of justice. The laws he imposes on humans by n large apply to him. He is setting an example as a ruler, as a god and as a king that he follows the very laws he establishes, making him just. Even if he himself doesn't agree or even if one should say the punishment towards all Greeks is unjust, Zeus must still follow his own rule, especially when Thetis employs him in the most official manner. Hera though does not follow the will of Zeus and chooses to not only disobey him and ride down with Athena at some point to assist the Greeks but also she does so by tricking and seducing Zeus to distract him and give an opening to the gods that assist the Greeks. Under this light it is HER actions that seem to be stopping justice (of course again one can argue that indeed it is unfair for the Greeks to suffer just because one king offended another) but by the laws of the Employing Ritual it was Zeus who was on the right.
However of course Hera either didn't know or she ignored the signs to it out of her love for the Greeks and so did Athena. And Zeus provided no information about Thetis and instead he chose to assert his dominance to the gods for his will instead.
Last but not least...
Why doesn't Zeus tell Hera who arrived on Olympus?
Zeus seems to avoid the fact that Thetis came to him even if Hera accuses him for it. Why then does he say that he helps the Trojans now "because he likes it" and he doesn't say he is bound by a promise? Some people correctly assume it is because he doesn't want to deal with her jealousy however there is a much deeper meaning to it. Sure it is Zeus we are talking about and surely he could speak out of seer authoritative nature just to say that no one has the right to tell him what to do and that his words are the law. It is possible but still no matter how someone sees it, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he had told Hera he is following a favor.
So why does he choose to simply show his dominance as a husband and not speak on justice? In my opinion that lies again to the reason why Thetis was there. She calls upon the return of a favor. But remember what the favor was? Thetis helped Zeus during a coup
Zeus doesn't bring it up because if he does bring Thetis up, he will also have to bring up his wife's treason!
Zeus doesn't seem eager to totally remind Hera of her act that is beyond simple jealousy or simply raising her voice at him. She had literally conspired with the gods to take him down! By that account alone she should be more severely punished than what she was. And all know that the gods received his pardon eventually when he restored order to the heavens. Somehow Zeus is unwilling to bring up the subject of treason because he doesn't want to bring the council of gods before such responsibilities again. He knows it is a done story, that he has offered his pardon and that the gods repented. He sees no reason to bring it up. By bringing the name of Thetis up and her favor, it would be bringing up the story of treason and that wouldn't just slide
Zeus actively chooses to assert his dominance as a husband and a father, rather than as a king and that in my opinion is not talked about enough. Yes in one way he humiliates Hera in front of all and Hera needs to be consoled by her son Hephestus but I feel like Zeus could easily have himiliated her as a traitor rather than a wife who spoke out of the line and that seems to me like a very much human emotion speaking in Zeus because yes, he doesn't like disobedience but at the same time he loves his wife and doesn't want to bring up her treason one more time.
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the-wales-5 · 2 days
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"The end of the worst nightmare"
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One of the chemotherapy appointments she had in late July 2024 was as tough as the first back in March, and Catherine left the hospital with heavy tears in her eyes.
“I can't take it anymore. I don't think I am strong enough” she said as tears were running down her face as she sat down in the car. William cupped her face in his hands as he whispered “Maybe it won't be necessary, Babykins. Until now it was working perfectly. You came a long way since March and you're stronger. I know it hurts you, physically and mentally and you're sick of treatment but it'll be fine. Trust me”.
She stared into his eyes for a moment and then said weakly “Take me home now”, then fell asleep with head turned away from him.
William remembered her first ever chemotherapy and how her words “I wonder if it will work” full of anxiety made him feel hopeless like never before. Back then Kate also fell asleep on the way home and her husband got tears, sick of hiding his emotions for weeks and scared to death of losing her.
Now, he thought of just one thing as he fixed her hair a little. “You will be alright, my wife”.
That simple sentence echoed in his mind throughout Kate's whole cancer journey, but this time it was way more intense until the end of that particular chemotherapy course.
*
By the end of August, her medical team was supposed to inform her if her chemotherapy worked properly and it was about to be either the happiest moment for The Princess of Wales and her family or just another one full of worry and fear. On the night before that appointment, neither Catherine nor her husband could sleep and she was shaking with fear at the slightest mention of that hospital visit, the most crucial one of all those since the beginning of health problems.
“I'll be right next to you” William whispered and squeezed her hand as they stepped into the building. Catherine didn't look at him, her emotions were so high that for a second she thought of running away from that place. William could read her thoughts and feel her anxiety. He tried to hide his own fear behind a supportive touch on her back and weak smile.
That day would either make him the happiest or throw him into darkness once again. The doctor's secretary led them to the office where the doctor and two other oncologists were waiting. Catherine had learned to trust these people almost as much as she trusted her husband. She felt like crying but finally asked that one difficult but important question “Do you have my results?"
"We've got everything, your royal highness. The tests after the operation we did in January, various blood tests throughout treatment and new results after your chemotherapy sessions ended” Dr Stevenson explained but William interrupted him impatiently "Just tell us about the results”
“The last results indicate that chemotherapy is not needed anymore “Dr Stevenson said "Our sessions achieved the maximum effect of destroying cancer cells that remained after the surgery. We found it so fast and consequently had the luck to be equally fast in treatment which achieved its aim to the fullest. I am pleased and happy to inform you that all these steps worked, and as of today you are cancer free, your highness. Your life can continue the way it did before surgery, diagnosis and chemotherapy. Of course, treatment is not completely over. We will keep in contact and prescribe medication that will help you stay in remission and let your body rest after chemotherapy treatment, but cancer cells are all gone” Dr Stevenson said and smiled a little.
“Is it real? Is it the truth? Tell me that I am not dreaming” Catherine whispered as she looked at her husband with eyes full of tears. Her doctor's words made it very clear to her that at least a part of all those frightening moments was slowly coming to an end.
“You are recovered” William whispered and caressed her cheek, he was crying happy tears at that moment too “You are not dreaming at all and we're starting a new phase of our lives, my wife” he said and looked at Dr Stevenson “Thank you. Thank you for helping her” he murmured through tears and smiled. It felt as if Catherine and him finally escaped from the worst nightmare of their lives. Her doctors left the room to give the couple a moment of privacy after revealing such positive news to them.
“You are healthy. You are fine and it's going to be completely alright from now on. I love you, Catherine. I love you so much” he whispered through tears as he hugged her as tight as possible and kissed her on forehead and lips.
“I can't believe it's over. No more aches, exhaustion, tears..” Catherine whispered and blinked a few times. She looked into William's eyes and then all of a sudden she pressed her lips on his. In that kiss, she again broke down into happy tears. Her husband cupped her face into his hands, kissed her cheeks and even her eyes too. Catherine smiled after a few seconds and said quietly “We need to tell the children”.
“Not yet. Let us have some time for ourselves first” William whispered and wiped her tears again before they both thanked the doctors and left the hospital hand in hand.
**
1 hour later. The car stopped in front of Adelaide cottage, William quickly left the car.
Wait for me” Catherine said but he let her know that she should stay inside. Quite confused, she blinked a couple of times but smiled too, thinking “I wonder what's happening”.
“We're ready to go” William said and drove away from Windsor five minutes later. His wife assumed that he was taking her on a date but when she said these words, he shook his head, Kate felt more and more intrigued.
*
Their car stopped by a little forest. It was a familiar spot for them as they often were going there with their children, yet this time it seemed to be special as were the circumstances. Catherine was walking a few steps behind her husband at one point and was often looking up at the sun. Finally, she stood by one of the trees and closed her eyes, breathing in fresh air. After a few seconds she felt William's hands on her waist. She smiled lovingly and then teased him “It's not a date, stop flirting”.
Instead of replying, he said “Close your eyes now”, Catherine raised her eyebrows but listened. Her husband walked over her and pulled out a small blue velvet box. Inside there was a small eternity ring, similar to what the princess already received from him back in 2013 and earlier in 2024 a few months into her treatment.
“Open your eyes now” he said and smiled as he noticed Catherine’s smile across her lips.
“What? Why? What's the reason?” she asked in a whisper, she was on the verge of happy tears. “I’ve been planning it for so long now. I bought it after Wimbledon. I wanted to give it to you back then but later I realised there need to be a special day” William smiled
“Is it today? You know the treatment isn't over. Where would you give it to me if today's results were negative?”
“We don't have to think about that” he whispered as slowly taking her hand into his “It'll be fine from now on. Only your ‘good’ days are ahead of us”.
Catherine trembled a little and sniffed. Her new ring was as difficult to put on her finger as her wedding band.
“It's a sign” William whispered again, looking into her eyes “It's our new life chapter, Catherine Elizabeth. It'll be..”
“No, stop” Catherine interrupted in a whisper too “I don't want to hear what it will look like. Let us take every day as it comes in that new chapter. No expectations, they ruin everything” she chuckled through tears and put her hands around her husband's neck.
Two birds were chirping while sitting on a tall tree above William and Catherine. After a second, they flew away somewhere together.
“Nothing will be ruined anymore this time” William whispered too and tucked his wife's hair behind her ear. She nodded and their eyes locked for a few moments before Catherine pressed her lips on his. It was an unbelievably long kiss, simultaneously passionate and gentle.
“Did you see that? They're probably starting their new chapter too” the princess whispered as she noticed the birds and lovingly smiled at William before putting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her on hair and breathed in her scent without saying a word.
It was completely unnecessary as they won against the worst nightmare of their lives.
***
♥︎~The End~♥︎
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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mirroredmasquerader · 15 days
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So I made a series of vital errors and I am hyperaware that no one followed me for this content.
However.
There's this game-
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hballegro · 2 months
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the clock is here. all hail.
i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]
prev post with noclock version
and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it
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i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.
i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.
this has been NOT good planning lol
not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig
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xcziel · 2 months
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has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?
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#jikook#bts#everybody is working to insert jk in who where i just don't see it (other than the seven parallels)#and not talking much about what i see as WAY more obvious nods most especially in rebirth#like jm sings about wanting to be worthy of someone - maybe someone who just became a huge SOLO global popstar?#and mentions 'real love' - what was the name of that chapter in the bangtan book again?#and the feminine pronouns not present it's just the nebulous 'you' that in jimin songs often stands in for 'army'#(and one very specific 'fan' who has said he is ALSO army)#it's the 'i wanna be with you'#the answer for jk's 'i am still' with its unspoken additional 'still with you' layer#and then we get slow dance and we're back to the nebulous 'you' - on an island he-#oh wait what was that about a pair that traveled to an island? and filmed some stuff there that we'll see soon? hm#the reason this set me off though is the lines about 'cancelling my plans' to live to 'the tempo of our favorite song'#the falling deep into lines etc etc#because we know what happens when those two get together - they lose track of time everything else fades away#it's why they haven't done lives. why 'you and me' are 'up all night' why jm knows that as soon as jk is around#his self-discipline will crack and he'll fall into the pattern he tried to head off by separating from jk while making face#and we *know* jimin wrote on this song#frankly if he *hadn't* gotten a female feature everybody would be JUMPING on this song as a jikook anthem#the inclusion of sofia works perfectly - like hammering the pin back in a grenade#but i was reading those lines and thinking how high she went and going who else could sing this ...?#huh. who do we know of who can sing *anything*? and who has a range that can hit and blend with jimin's perfectly?#so. i dunno. y'all do your delulu the way that works for you and i will do my delulu my way lol#personally i think the eyes in the mv look like a screenshot from the love wins all mv but that's only me#i think the parallels with seven work more#and speaking of parallels (there are so many) i think this album was built to ensure jm is on equal footing with a certain someone#it's the commerciality of it - as though jm was like we will be together in this as well#when he seems not to be super interested in global domination but still 'special' enough to be on the same level with his love
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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snackugaki · 2 years
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y’all already know what I’M about to do
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roobylavender · 4 months
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im really sorry if this question ends up being repetitive: but, if not for bruce’s over reliance on dick to regulate his thoughts and emotions, why would dick grow up into feeling like he needs to repress his emotions so much and his eagerness to act as people’s support? i know youve spoken about wolfman and his altering of their relationship but if ntt is generally an accurate portrayal of an adult dick, to me this nevertheless sounds like the consequences a parent-child relationship where the responsibilities are titled too much towards the child
i suppose this could also segue into asking for recs that would help me better understand your interpretation of their relationship 👀
not repetitive at all! to me the irony of wolfman's depiction of dick lies in that it is simultaneously something you can logically ascertain from prior canon but not for the reasons actually presented by wolfman. if that makes sense. he does extra work that isn't actually necessary to help explain why dick would act the way that he does because there's plenty of reasons for it without rewriting his history with bruce to have always been suppressed and edgy and dark. to me it makes far more sense to capitalize on the inevitable disconnect between bruce and dick as an adult and a child. batman: full circle is a good example of that dichotomy (and although it was published in the early 90s it built on mike w. barr's prior understanding of the relationship between dick and bruce that he wrote into the early 80s). bruce's primary concern for the people he works with is never standards or finesse but safety. he worries constantly about others coming to harm under his watch and with a child in particular those worries were exacerbated. he ran a tight ship not because he believed dick had anything to prove but because the only way dick could keep being robin was if he went about it safely. that was obv easy for an adult to understand. but not so much for a child
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to bruce these worries were practical and par for the course (as well as an expression of his love and protectiveness) but for dick their consequences formed the crux of his entire world. as a child he idolized everything about bruce. his heroism. his work ethic. his skill. his resolve. his preparedness. if dick couldn't live up to the standard he set for himself in idolizing bruce then what could he ever hope to amount to? that was the thought constantly going through his head. and it's why the bulk of his childhood and primary tenure as bruce's partner was so precariously protected by the fact that nothing bad ever really happened during it (and admittedly this framing is convenient because even chronologically speaking nothing very significant happened in their history with each other until dick left for university in 1969) (i know dixon opted to write that whole shtick with dent in his version of events but personally i never found it necessary to do so). there is enough there in the idea of dick working hard for the course of a decade to embody who he believed bruce to be that lends itself to it eventually being difficult for him to healthily express himself once the rift between them actually began to emerge
because what about bruce was there to actually see that was broken and dark before dick became an adult? i know a lot of dick fans hate batman #408 because they don't like that it enforced "retirement" upon dick (which i personally believe is a conclusion they come to because of the way batman #416 re-framed the same scene) but to me that's an inaccurate reading of the text. batman #408 was about bruce (admittedly far too belatedly) recognizing that he could not in good conscience continue to ask dick to go out and be a vigilante on what he considered to be his own "orders". he viewed dick's close call with death at the hands of the joker as something directly of his own making. although their tenure with each other had been wonderful if dick wanted to continue to be a vigilante it had to be on his own terms and of his own volition. obv that was logical to bruce and it was something dick managed to accept in the moment. but it's still hard to go from always having a purpose alongside someone you idolized to finally being entrusted entirely to forge your own
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in general i like the idea of dick the adult becoming privy to all of the personal problems and conflicts that come with being a vigilante. he was conveniently shielded from a lot of those problems as a child because all he had to do was be bruce's partner and hope to live up to the title. bruce had no reason to trauma dump on him or talk about his worries and concerns at length with him because it was never supposed to be dick's job to field those worries and concerns in the first place. he was a child. the only thing bruce wanted to do was to help channel his emotions through an outlet and provide him with a home to grow up in. but when you become an adult often that dynamic shifts. you're still not responsible for fielding those worries and concerns but you can perhaps be trusted with them. that's why i like the framing in batman #408 of dick now being a man. it's a subtle way to frame the double-edged sword of adulthood. the world is in your hands now but so will be the horrors that come with it. coming to terms with the real world that bruce lives in should be hard for dick. coming to terms with who bruce is when he's not perfect should be hard. coming to terms with how quietly bruce kept his grief because he did not see fit to overwhelm a child with it should be hard. that dichotomy of dick both wanting to be bruce's brother and his son should form the crux of their conflict with each other because you can't hope to be someone's equal and someone's protected at the same time in that kind of relationship. for dick to transition into the position of equal he has to expose himself to the fact that bruce is not in fact an idol but someone irrevocably human. and that should interfere significantly with his head and his own standards for himself
#all of this to say. i don't think it's so much about pre-ntt canon directly predicating ntt-dick's characterization#like it's not these events happened in the 60s and 70s so that's why he acts this way in the 80s#it's more the opposite. because these things Didn't happen in the 60s and 70s. that's why being on his own in the 80s is hard#dick wants so badly to be bruce's equal and an adult and a leader and someone trusted by others#but those are all things easier said than done. and the worst tragedy of it is that the bruce dick knows from childhood#is not the bruce he knows in adulthood. they are from the same person. but they are still different#because there are things dick is allowed to see as an adult that bruce spared him from when he was a child#and on one hand that was the right thing to do. but on the other hand it's devastating. because dick obv doesn't know how to cope#how do you cope with the fact that your decade-long idol is not in fact what you made him up to be#(and the thing is it's not that bruce isn't what dick made him up to be) (it's that he's also other things)#(he's sad. he's guilty. he's exhausted. sometimes he doesn't know how to go on)#reconciling with those realities should be unbearable for dick. because being robin has given him so much purpose#and while being batman gives bruce purpose too there are also so many times where he absolutely bends under the weight of it#and that sight should be frightening to dick#that's why i really like knightfall. or the potential of it because i mean prodigal did not deal with the aftermath of it#in a way that i liked at all. it was quite underwhelming#and then you guys obv know my issues with the framing of dick's reaction to jason's death and his conversation with bruce there#but the idea of dick needing to cope with bruce being a human capable of breaking under his own imposed duties is impt#and so my reading of their relationship is less about things written explicitly in text and more about drawing logical inferences#idk. i feel like i am all over the place i'm not sure if this sufficiently answers your question i'm sorryjgfkldghf#outbox
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