#like. we dont gotta talk about it. but if you want to. sure. i was pooping. whats there to say about it?
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will
i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up
we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.
and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response
#[static]#he tells me 'kid im gonna change i miss you i love you we need to hang out more im sorry that i wasnt around'#and then when we try and make plans it's like pulling teeth to get him to follow through#and sure there's been a couple of times in my life where ive had to back out of plans with him but like .....#we're talking less times than i have fingers on one hand in 30 years lol meanwhile he disappears for years without a word regularly#i thought we got somewhere last year when i decided to reach out after i stopped talking to him#we're both adults and we're busy but i somehow manage to have regular scheduled dnd games with 4 other adults twice a month#and i cant get my biological father who claims to want to know me reply to a message#and i know i know i know he's got his own demons and battles but i s2g it's just Frustrating because i dont know what he wants from me#i dont fuck with indecision and i dont like not knowing where i stand with someone#i know that he wont reach out to people in hopes they 'care enough' about him to do it#but like dude .......... SHOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME TOO WTF#i want to be unendingly compassionate to him since he's gotta figure out what he's gonna do regarding his throat cancer#but like ..... what am i supposed to do with this lmao he saw my message and didn't reply and maybe he's busy#but he also didnt reply to any of my other messages asking to make time to see each other#but then he called me this summer to see if i was in town when he was there (and i wasn't and it was out of the blue)#he also posted a lowkey transphobic comedy sketch on his page which is weird because that's not really his politics but also he's old#and i can just hear exactly what he'd say about it if i tried to even bring it up to him ever#idk what he wants from me but i sometimes think even he doesn't know#i think we missed our time to mend things into something that makes sense#anyways sorry for the vent into the void i just got new information and dealing with stuff about my dad is always difficult#i have rarely felt wanted by him and have never felt seen for who i am either
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Every job I've ever had at least one of the supervisors has gotten all over my case about how there's no way I really need to use the bathroom that much and it wasn't until recently that I learned that apparently it's very common for people to use the bathroom way less than I do and they didn't just have very bizarre expectations about what the human body is like. But I'm literally gonna die on this hill: I'm the normal one here. Everyone else is weird. You should be pooping at least as often as you eat. Otherwise where is it going in the meantime?
#has only briefly come up at my current job which im thankful for#but im also always on edge#although at a job i had in 2022 my supervisor would say to me every time i came back from the bathroom#'you were pooping! i know you were pooping because you took longer than 7 minutes!'#which. okay first of all weird that youre timing my bathroom breaks. maybe you need more work to do#second of all... and? yeah. i was pooping. shit happens#she seemed to expect me to be embarrassed by it#like. we dont gotta talk about it. but if you want to. sure. i was pooping. whats there to say about it?#after the second or third time i said that to her she did stop doing it to me
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Having a big family is too expensive. Where am I supposed to find the money for my brother's 20th, my cousin's 21st and graduation, my twin cousins turning 23, my other cousin turning 26 and having a baby all this month!! 😭
#Demon Spawn#+Extra#theres too much going on! and my mum doesnt tell me everything at once so i think i only have one purchase to worry about#and then she hits me with another one!! did you remember this? did you remember that? no i was still dealing with the last one#im sorry but siblings are prioritised then i gotta sort out my own sht if i can then afford all these other peoples things#when i dont even speak to them! then sure maybe ill get around to it but theyve all got more extravagant preferences which i cant afford 😅#most of them still live at home and dont pay rent let alone tuition i cant afford their expectations and having 4 cousin birthdays#in a month is ridiculous have you seen the price of postage? and you wanna add in graduations and a baby into it???#i probably sound like im btching about nothing to people who have a good relationship with their cousins but i never see them and even#when i do we dont talk its super awkward and we have nothing in common yet i gotta go spend money i dont have all at once on them#and i cant even say sht cus my mum arranged a 21st for me that i didnt want so they did end up getting me stuff#god i sound like such btch i just dont know these people and its stressful trying to get presents as is but so many occasions at once when#i have no clue is stressing me out right now its not that i dont want to celebrate its the sudden expenditure and the fact its not spread#out and that theres so many cus i already got 8 siblings and my mum is one of 5 and my cousins are getting older so theyre going through#milestones that require gifts too at the same time as their birthday
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Hahahaa he's so "bright talented young man alters himself to attain greatness and escape a life he was unhappy with but despite warnings (he ignored them) fails in the end and dies while his father lives on without him"
Secondly though I also HAD to throw on some Mother Mother. Notably, Body (tbh a disabled bitch anthem imo) and Arms Tonight (y'know. Bc the end of the game). Stg I'll send you the playlists for the Arakawa's when I'm done with them. I take my sweet ass time tho v sorry hahaha 😂
Litcherallyyyyyy thats what im sayin bro..... esp when in the story of icarus his father helps him escape the island/helps him succeed and when icarus does fail his father is left imprisoned.... does that not happen to our icarus too.... does that not happen to his father also..... wild....
And take your time with your playlists, no rush ! A dude knows what its like tryin to make it Just Right
#snap chats#the icarus comparison is more ironic considering in the story icarus plummets to the ocean and drowns...#And If We Say Irony. Since Arakawa Was Dumped In The Ocean. lol....#but noo i gotta be so guilty since growin up i always took Body as a trans allegory. or at least adjacent#and ik i havent breathed about it in Months but aoki did evoke trans energy... to me... to my delulu-ass brain...#but then i feel bad cause aspects of him that Yell trans to me are actually about his disability so i feel like im disregarding it#even tho thats not my intent i was just too silly playin y7 the first time around 😭☠️☠️ its generally why i dont talk bout it tbh..#too delulu.. and i feel awkward talkin bout hcs like that BUT MOVING ON THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT#either way body Does fit. esp with the whole Take My Lungs Take Them And Run bit ☠️#Take My Tongue And Go Have Some Fun can also be representative of aoki’s influence and- apparently- the publics inclination to follow him#I.E. with His Tongue anything can be passed or anything that has his backing can be validated#BUT IM NOT HERE TO DO AN ANALYSIS ON MUSIC AND AOKI even if i really want to.........#i will say tho... im 90% sure theres a line about Taking Eyes but i cant look it up rn lest my tumblr app reser and i have to type all this#but anyway That Refers To This Bitch’s Eyesight Getting Worse#im gonna go listen to that song now its stuck in my head.. uh oh...#everyone always say Mother Mother is Basic and that may be true but so am i so let me listen while i be sad THANK YOU.#ok bye <3 ive prattled too long and my phone will surely die soon and i want One (1) listen in <3
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im finally going to replay y0...
#it's been a little over 2 years#and ive never replayed any of the games before so im very interested in what this is gonna be like#i just played them slowly and in order + lad ishin at the end#i kinda wanted to do the judgments first but uh. they're never on sale <3#someday though#ugh im nervous though#not about this but like. ok real ones will remember that a couple of months ago i mentioned i finally asked my mom for like. mental health#assistance that wasnt her telling me to stop spiralling. the two appointments we could do were like. next week or october#i technically have enough time to get my shit together but ive also like. never talked to an actual doctor about this stuff before#and she kept asking me if i could be more specific than 'general longterm mental health issues' (and anxiety which she added)#but like. i dont wanna tell her Shit about that yknow#especially not like. just woken up at 2pm no preparation#also she added anxiety on her own. so you KNEW it was an issue and you didn't fucking do anything about it? at all??#truthfully i don't think it's nearly as big of an issue as before. i get stressed about stuff sure but it's pretty circumstantial#like these days i dont have anxiety about much of anything because im not trying to decide my entire future between 8 hour days in the#bright lights and eye contact factory#girl you don't have any idea what we're getting into by doing this#anyway if i get an ocd diagnosis that'll be the most awkward because that's the only one they actively joke about and that i've butted head#with them on. (i mean theyre also shit to npd/aspd ppl i just haven't chewed them out for it yet bc every time i do that i end up useless#for the rest of the day at least and i gotta pick my battles)#and idek what i wanna do about the Probably Autism going on man. i've been thinking about doing foster care/adoption for years now#when im older/if im ever financially stable. a diagnosis could basically nuke my options for that#but they'd NEVER believe a self diagnosis#whatever FUCK JT ITS YAKUZING TIME!!!!!!!!!#OH AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME DOING ONE ON LEGEND#which im nervous about bc i never really play stuff on anything but normal#so uh. 😬😬
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my mom got very very drunk yesterday and she's an aggressive drunk, not physically but it amplifies her anger and irritation by like 6, and she's already a very very explosive and volatile woman. she got in a fight with her boyfriend and was screaming and drove off to the middle of nowhere and that's why my sister called and im so proud of her for reaching out and asking me to call, and i think she is too, she said she wants to call me more for sure and wants to ask more, and that she felt a lot better after we called. that feels good for me, even if im worrying about it now, at her age i didn't have anyone to turn to or call, so im glad i get to be that for her. i fucking hate my parents man
#my mom is so.#shes just not well man. she isn't healthy#neither is my dad.#working on myself away from them has gotten so scary because. holy shit. holy shit they are. like. broken people. not in the sad way but#like in a 'how how the fuck did you get this far in life without dying. how. how did you fucking do that'#my dad aparently hates his job and wants to quit because and i quote 'the teenage workers wont clean up after themselves'#and now he 'has to' deal with that at home AND at work#and i swear hes makingf it up in his head because literally he is a hoarder and insane and expected all of us to keep the house with him in#it cleaned without him actually putting in any effort. so i assume thats what happening at his job too but thats so baffling because its li#llike how are you a grown man fucking acting like this at your minimum wage job#how .#youre fucking inane#anyways everyones scared he might kill himself too so now ive gotta worry abotu BOTH parents killing themself#and even when i moved he was lkike we need to talk about where my moneys going if i die before youre twenty four#and of course i was like. huh!? i dont think youre going to...?#and he was like yeah we just gotta make sure though#HUH?!#but i assumed thats bexcause fucking everyone has us brainwashed that hes going to die of a heart attack#i brought that up with my sister too i was like. i swear its not even a real threat but everyones always freaking out about it but hes#literally never had heart problems and has fantastic blood tests other than slightly high cholestoral. its literally just because my step#moms dad died of a heart attack and she proojected it onto him and said i was going to give him one#and now my entire family is convinced thats how hes going to die#but my sister said my mom took her to my dads house at one point and he didnt answer the doorbell for HOURS#he was asleep but while drivbing away my mom was like 'phew i thought we were going to walk in on him dead'#BROOO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO YOUR 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH OCD AND PTSD FUCK OFFFFFF#I HATE YOU#txt
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regarding that last post on apologies bc i already had too many tags on it and i dont wanna bother OP with a reblog reply. but it’s important to get zen with the fact that sometimes, as a person, you are going to hurt someone else unintentionally. and whether you have an opportunity to explain yourself or not isn’t necessarily actually going to mitigate the fact they were hurt. sometimes it’s just you trying to take control of a situation so YOU feel better about it rather than addressing what the person you wronged actually needs in that scenario, even if it comes after a sincere apology. and if it’s coming before the apology it probably is not going to help the way you want it to.
does it go against every instinct not to spend 20 minutes explaining your side so they know you didn’t mean it and forgive you? absolutely. but it just makes the situation about you & your feelings again. so sometimes you need to swallow the discomfort and deal with it and just tell yourself you’ll do better next time without making it someone else’s problem too.
#it is a well meaning impulse but that doesnt mean its a good one to follow all the time#ramblings#apologies#also before you come at me#how do i know this? i used to do it. and then i was like actually? this probably sucks for the other person and i sure dont like it myself#the moral of the story is we all want to be Right and for others to know it but u kno what even if we didnt mean to sometimes we're Wrong#so just take that and move on#anyway this is not about like a parent who always yells and refuses to hear their kids side before punishing#this is about like. if you hurt your friend and they tell you they dont wanna talk about it after you gotta accept that boundary#if you kept trying it wouldnt tell me that you didnt mean to hurt me it would just tell me that you care more about being vindicated than my
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i work at a preschool and the 4 year old girls are super into bringing me various woodchip foods to eat and then yelling POISON! at me when i pretend to eat them and im just like. they dont know i run a wizard blog
#we are the same + time is a flat circle + the nature of humanity is to reinvent playground games#i encourage them too much maybe because i ask them all about what kind of poison it is and what ailments i have now and what other potions#they can make#so far theyre really into feeding me potion of traps me in a marshmellow cave. cause i told them i didnt want to play pretend jail anymore#i have also asked them why they would want to poison me :(( but so far they have just ignored that question#but as their 'we just discovered lying and its awesome' games go this is my favorite#it is way more fun than 'guess what i have in this baby shaped wad of blanket' 'is it a baby?' 'no!' ' are you sure? because last time you#said that it was definitely still a baby.' 'no its really not a baby!' 'okayy is it a (not baby) (x27)' 'no!!' 'i give up what is it!!!'#'ITS A BABY!!! WE TRICKED YOU!!!!'#that one got old soooo fast and then they were so offended when i was like i dont want to keep playing this game if you're gonna trick me#+ you gotta encourage them to play with eachother instead of just talking to adults. but the poison game is communal.
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i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
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Me: Hey! if I give you a written schedule of my school days in advance, could you make sure not to schedule me these 3 specific days so I can actually go to my classes?
Scheduling Manager: Oh, yeah definitely! we can do that!
Scheduling Manager: *Ends up scheduling me several shifts on days I need to be in class anyways*
Me: >:/
#nebbles talks#like bro we TALKED about this several times#i made sure to check in w/ you on several occasions just to make sure this wouldnt happen and it happens ANYWAYS#i sent em a message so hopefully itll get changed soon#if not tho im just gonna have to talk to the gm about it so i dont get written up at work or penalized in my classes for missing them#uuhhggg this is why i HATE working while im in my college classes#not to even mention the amount it raises my stress levels to begin with#now i gotta deal with the stress of making sure shit gets time managed and scheduled right#and if i dont i get dire consequences that affect me having a job/income or a passing grade in my classes#:'))))#they should invent a life that doesnt slowly kill you with stress#or yknow. with less required responsibilities that you must preform if you dont want to be starving or homeless#i think that would be good
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toontown drama on the timeline. What
#no i will not be elaborating for the sake of my sanity#at the end of the day this is a kids game thats kept alive through community support. it is fictional and what happens in it has no bearing#on the real world. that said i am a hater so i will give my take on it#it is true that some of yall are a little sus about how yall treat cogs as more than robots or basically human while toons are just animals#not to mention like... the cogs are ubiquitously the bad guys. there isnt really any arguing about that. every manager that works at cogs#has signed up under the pretense that they will be working for this banana-company-esque corporation that will be colonizing toontown to#harvest the resources in it. we dont gotta pretend otherwise#but you know what the great thing is? theyre not real. you dont have to defend their actions like theyre real#just acknowledge its a shitty thing and then draw two of em fuckin for the 70th time who give a shit#and sure there can be nuance with like “oh the cogs are treated horribly by the company too” yeah thats sympathy i get that but that also#does not cancel out the fact that they're colonizers LMAO stories aint a game where you add up negative and positive shit a characters done#to get a better score#but yall acting absolutely silly about this. just remember that while its a game maybe try not to insinuate that you see the people being#colonized as savages while always looking for redemption for the colonizers? thxxx.#p.s. barnacle bessie was absolutely right in dropping that piano on rainmakers head. if absolutely every single interaction youve had with#people working from a company is that they try to kill you and then steal your shit#you are absolutely within your right to see some bitch walkin up to you and think#“hey this person clearly associates with that company. i dont want to be killed and have my shit stolen so i better defend myself”#literally bessie was an indigenous person who was scared of one of the colonizers... stop piling on her... gah!#anyways thats more of my life than i need spent talking about this#need to answer a phone call from the bank anyways buh-bye#(and no im not gonna be tagging this with anything relevant its sort of just a vent post tbh lmao)
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thinking about ex boyfriend! bakugou who is so fucking smug because he was your first and doesnt ever leave you alone… smut included.
an: this shouldnt have taken all day, but today was pretty shit. 😀
you roll onto your right side, feeling the vibration of your phone buzzing. it unlocks looking at your face identifying, and you groan in annoyance. “hello?”
“mornin’ , sleepin’ slut. bad night with the new guy?” you recognize the voice, bakugou. “just wasn’t doin’ nothin’ for you, huh?” he laughs a little bit, a sigh afterwards.
“do you realize what fucking time it is?” you ask, squinting to look at the white numbers in the corner. “it two fifty three in the goddamn morning.”
“and i bet he’s gone by now, isnt he?” katsuki asks, an expectant huff.
“who?” you ask, almost damn near impersonating a actual owl. “because i dont know who the fuck you’re referring to. ive been at home all day.”
“yer’ new little boy toy. i knew youd whore yourself out to make me jealous.” he says, biting his lip when he heard you starting to argue back and get loud. “yeah? im fuckin wrong?”
“very much so, very slow at that.”
“i mean, we wouldnt be here had you not gotten ‘fed up.’” he reminds, biting his lip and tugging at his hero pants when you scoff. “all we gotta do is get back together and y’know..”
“yes, lets get back together mr.dynamight who liked to get an attitude when things dont go his way or will purposely lie about shit to make me jealous, i love you.” you say sarcastically, rolling your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose.
“really?” he asks, a hand groping himself when he waits for your answer.
“no.” you say, pressing the end call button and tossing the phone into the laundry hamper. sleep was good when you didnt have an ex boyfriend calling you in the buttfuck hours of the morning, but he pestered you more. you obviously hear his calls going to voice mail, but its good that the ringer turned off when you threw it.
‘one new voicemail. should i play?’ the fax machine asks, replying with a ‘sure.’ out of pity, was the pussy that good he was obsessed? or was he desperate?
‘you know you want me back, princess.. just call me back and show me how much you miss me.’
yeah fuckin right.
you listen closer, hearing heavy breathing and… slick? was this fucker only booty calling you at fucking three in the morning for this? is that why he called you?
‘not just callin’ ya because im horny or nothin.. but god, do i miss seeing you.’ as soon as you thought the worst. ‘miss seein’ yer pretty face.. or seeing the dumb shit you send me at work.’
you ponder on his words… but had he not been a bit of an asshole, you wouldnt be here. all of this was because he wanted you jealous, and ended up you spitting in his face then leaving.
‘need ta tell ya somethin anyway..’ he mumbles, a groan from his lips. you knew what he was doing, it slightly turned you on. ‘never slept with her.. just lied so you can show me how you can be crazy ‘bout me.. it was stupid.’
yeah, it was. who the fuck lies about that?
‘miss you so damn bad..’ he says, probably pre nut clarity. he moans a little bit, heavy breathing from him stroking his fat cock. ‘cmon baby, talk to me.’
and an idea pops in your head, you finding some really old photo of you and izuku.
#bakugo katuski#kastuki bakugou#bnha bakugo x reader#bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x black reader#bakugo smut#yandere bakugou#bnha bakugou#katsukibakugou
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ignore - Matt Sturniolo
summary: you've been in a mood all day, ignoring matt and giving him little attention, you won't tell him what's wrong so he has to fuck the answers out of you.
contains: smut, arguing, crying, swearing, rough!matt, slight overstimulation.
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i've been pissed and emotional all day, i'm not even sure what for anymore, everything that people do is pushing me to my limits, especially my boyfriend, matt.
3:39pm
"c'mon we've gotta go." matt says, tapping my arm as i sit with my arms folded on the edge of matts bed. "i'm not going!" i raise my voice at matt, my eyebrows raised as i roll my eyes.
"chris and nick are waiting for us, we've booked the top golf session, we are going its for the celebration of nicks brand come on." matt says with a dad like tone.
i shake my head, "i don't want to, my head hurts." i say in a whiny tone, somehow on the verge of tears, matt lets out an exhausted sigh, tears start to fall down my cheek as i rub my eyes.
"why are you crying." matt says in a calm tone with a sigh. "go away!" i groan, matt walks out of the room shaking his head, he closes the door behind him.
"i don't know whats going on with her, im sorry nick." i hear him say to his brothers outside the door, i sniffle as i flop down on the bed behind me.
6:12pm
i've been enjoying the empty house by myself for the past few hours, i hear the triplets pull into the driveway before knocking on the door, i unlock the door and they all walk in, i give nick a hug, before asking chris how it went. he instantly starts to yap about his golf shots.
after a handful of minutes chris decides we should all watch a movie, matt tries saying something to me but i simply ignore him,
"y/n." matt repeats himself, i shoot him a side eye before continuing to speak to chris.
nick and chris pile onto the couch, matt sits down on the other side of the plush couch, i walk over to matt, sitting down on his lap and laying down against him, my back pressed against his torso and the back of my head resting on his shoulder.
matts chest rises and falls with each breath, lifting me up and down subtly.
9:29
the movie has been playing for over 3 hours, i've shifted around slightly against matt a couple of times, but haven't said anything to him.
i let out a heavy sigh matt taps my waist before whispering in my ear "please talk to me, you've been acting very off today."
i scoff "i've been acting off?" i whisper back, an attitude clear in my voice.
"yes you have, been acting like that, bratty." matt replies, i stay silent after that.
"talk to me about it." he says again, i shake my head no.
the closing scene of the movie finishes, chris and nick get up, "im headed to bed, see you guys in the morning." chris says with a yawn, "bye chris!" i say chirpily.
nick stands up, "see you!" he says running over and hugging me before leaving the living room.
matt and i sit in silence for a minute or so before matt pushes me off his lap, "come with me." matt says, i stare straight into his eyes, not moving nor speaking.
"come. with. me." matt raises his voice, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to his bedroom. he slams the door and locks it vigourously.
i sit down on the edge of his bed, fiddling with my nails. matt storms over to me, picking me up then throwing me back down on the bed, i fall straight on my back, my head landing in his pillows, one specific pillow having a stupid pug on it.
matt rips off his cute crewneck sweater, my eyes drawn to his tattooed arms.
his two hands firmly grip the waistband of my sweatpants, before yanking them and my panties down in one go. he unbuttons his jeans before pulling me by my ankles towards the edge of the bed.
"matt-" i start, he cuts me off, "dont start."
his boxers drop to the floor before he stands at the edge of the bed, i wrap my legs around his waist. matt stares into my eyes, asking for permission, i stay silent, just staring into his eyes.
"use your words and tell me what the fuck you want." he almost demands, his right hand now firmly gripping my waist.
i can't deny the fact i need him, the sudden switch in mood turns me on, along side matt being angry which he is never like, hes never fucked me while hes mad.
"just fuck me then if your so desperate." i mumble, matt lets out an exasperated laugh before lining himself up with me, slamming into me, his tip bruising my cervix.
i let out a yelp, "fuck!" matt starts to pound in and out of me, not showing signs of slowing down.
he grips my waist with both hands, his fingers digging into my skin as small grunts fall from matts lips.
the sounds coming out of me echo throughout the room, resulting in matt slamming a hand over my mouth, the cold metal of his rings pressing against my cheek.
"gonna act like this whole day? think you can act like that?" matt breathes out, his left hand which is still firmly placed on my waist tightens. matts breathing picks up,
im starting to consider always acting like 'this' so that matt fucks me like this again, i dont think ive ever had better sex in my life.
he repeatedly hits a spot inside of me which is driving me closer, and closer to my orgasm.
"awnser. me." matt says, staring into my squinted eyes, he removes his hand from my mouth, reaching down and brushing my clit.
"i- i didn't mean to" i say cluelessly, my mind completely fogged as i clench around him.
the pit in my stomach realeases as i orgasm, matts thrusts stop, after all this not wanting to overstimulate me.
"gonna talk to me now sweetheart?" matt says his voice soft but his breaths heavy.
i scoff with an eye roll, matt raises his eyebrows before thrusting into me again, i wince, "sensitive.." i say as matt presses on my clit, he starts to thrust again, waiting for me to speak.
i let out loud moans as matt starts to pick up his thrusts "please-" i groan, "matt-"
"i'm sorry- fuck" i say, my thighs dropping from his waist and squeezing together, matt pulls out, finishing with a whimper and painting my stomach with white streaks.
"oh my god-.." i groan, covering my forehead with my arms as i wipe away the few tears that fell from intensity.
"are you okay?" matt says, picking me up off the bed and carrying me towards the bathroom.
i hum in response, "was it too much? did i hurt you?" matt asks, worry in his voice as he places me down on the edge of his bath.
he bends down between my thighs, dabbing a towel gently against my skin. he walks out of the room, shortly coming back now wearing sweatpants and a white wifebeater tank top.
he brings me over the shorts i was wearing previously, and one of his black shirts. he pulls them onto me gently, his cold finger tips brushing against my skin.
he picks me up again, carrying me over to his bed and flicking off the overhead light, leaving his dim lamp on which illuminates the room just enough. he lays down on the bed, i lay ontop of him.
we lay in silence for about a minute before matt breaks it "are you okay? i mean you've seemed really off today and i should've talked with ya." matt says, running a hand through his hair.
"im sorry." i sigh, "no no, don't say that." matt replies instantly, "i'm not actually sure whats going on, i think i'm just a bit hungry" i say quietly,
matt laughs, "i did all of that for you to just be hungry?" he jokes, rubbing his eyes with a smile as his ears go red.
"i don't know!!" i laugh back, matt wraps his arms around my waist as i lay on top of him.
i suddenly spring up, "i'll be right back." i say, jogging out of the room towards nicks room, i knock twice before opening the door, nicks laying on the bed on his phone,
"you okay?" nick asks, i walk over to him, giving him a hug.
"im really sorry about not coming to topgolf nick, i was in a mood and i am extremely happy about your brand."
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#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo imagine
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loverboy!chris headcannons!
loverboy!chris who built up the courage to slide in your dm's finally.
loverboy!chris who talked to you almost everyday.
"how are you?" "im filming tommorow." "u won't believe what i saw."
loverboy!chris who cut off every girl to focus on you.
loverboy!chris who always mentions flying you out.
"come onnnn. let me fly you out." "ill fly you out."
loverboy!chris who wants you to model for his brand.
"you tryna model?"
"dude i dont know how to model."
"so? you can try for me :)"
loverboy!chris who is always wanting to facetime.
"you tryna call?" "hop on facetime." "you awake?"
loverboy!chris who constantly talks about you to his brothers.
"and shes so fucking pretty."
"tell her that."
"can u shut the fuck up?"
loverboy!chris who really wants to meet you.
"you coming la anytime soon?"
"chris we spoke about this literally yesterday."
"pleaseeee?"
loverboy!chris who texts you like he's your boyfriend.
"good morning." "night babe." "you busy?"
loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay all the time.
"you okay? you looked really upset on ft last night."
"i was just tired :) thank you though."
"okay. you can always talk to me."
loverboy!chris who tells you everything.
"i literally just burped on matt."
"oh?"
"yeah."
loverboy!chris who finally flies you out to him.
"pack your bags ;)"
"omg. chris why did u do that?"
"i need to meet you."
loverboy!chris who gets really happy around you.
loverboy!chris who waited until you met to ask you to be his.
"can i be your boyfriend?"
"oh my- yes. yes.."
loverboy!chris who gets caught cuddling you on your first day meeting.
"shhh...shes sleeping."
"you met a few hours ago."
loverboy!chris who makes sure your ready for any advances.
"you sure?"
"yes chris just kiss me."
loverboy!chris who can't help himself and kisses you a lot more.
loverboy!chris who refuses to be away from you.
"where are you going?"
"to wash my hands.."
"ill come."
loverboy!chris who teaches you at top golf.
loverboy!chris who is so excited when he goes down on you.
"i've been waiting so long to do this."
"fuck..chris."
loverboy!chris who loves everything about you.
loverboy!chris who becomes very confident with you.
"i gotta fart."
"chris!"
loverboy!chris who showers with you to stay near you.
"want me to do your shampoo?"
"you could back up a bit."
"declined."
loverboy!chris who buys you everything you show interest in.
loverboy!chris who kisses your head while you sleep in his arms.
loverboy!chris who loves not sleeping alone.#
"i love that i get to hug you all night."
"its too hot to have you wrapped around me like a koala."
"thats just rude."
loverboy!chris who buys you stuffed animals that remind him of you.
loverboy!chris who sleeps on top of you.
"chris. wake up."
"what?"
"get off i need the bathroom."
"noooo"
loverboy!chris who leaves way too many marks.
"chris..i can't fucking cover them.."
"guess you'll have to show em off then huh?"
loverboy!chris who also loves pissing you off.
loverboy!chris who doesn't let you go bed mad at him.
"nuh uh. were not doing this. im sorry okay? whats wrong?"
loverboy!chris who cries when you find out your pregnant.
"your kidding.."
"no..are you happy..?"
"oh my god..yes.."
loverboy!chris who overbuys for the baby.
loverboy!chris who makes sure you know he's there at the birth.
"im here baby.. your doing so good."
loverboy!chris who takes a picture of him crying holding the baby when its first born.
loverboy!chris who treats his baby like glass.
"nick! careful."
"dude what..? i was just looking..jeez"
loverboy!chris who is so proud showing his brothers.
"look at my baby.."
"hes adorable chris."
"well done buddy."
loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay and provided for.
"you need any water? any food?"
"no im okay thank you.."
"a hug? i mean look what you just did. gave me a child. ur amazing."
a/n- these r quite far apart events!! this is also awful cause i rushed it smmmm!! i have so much school work to do :(
taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii
#sturnsmadl#sturnsmadl headcannons#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo edit#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#character ai#jake webber#matt sturniolo x reader#x reader#the sturniolo triplets#tara yummy#youtube#inbox open#oneshot#c.ai problems#ai#sturniolo#nathan doe smut#nathan doe#nathan doe fanfic#nate doe#chris sturniolo fluff#sturniolo fluff
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maintaining/creating a social life⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
ok so i used to have HORRIBLE social anxiety and i think that the contrast between me with social anxiety and me now is INSANE. in a good way ofc. so im not going to talk about how i overcame social anxiety, instead im going to talk about how i created a social life ✨
MAKING FRIENDS ;
the science of making friends is simple and im about to explain it. so go to where there are ppl that u can relate to/want to relate to. example being school, clubs, etc.
next, observe who u want to befriend and make sure to start with a compliment. starting off by introducing urself just makes for an awkward conversation but starting with a compliment puts u and the other party at ease.
something thats rly important is ur CHARISMA and ur magnetic energy so be CHARMING ✨ if u find that the other party is not reciprocating its either they're uncomfy, uninterested, or just a weirdo. and in all cases, you should stop.
MAKING FRIENDS THRU FRIENDS ;
make friends with your friends friends -> make friends with their friends -> and so on and so forth. this is how you network and create a friendly status with lots of people.
if ur in a school setting like i am, make friends with people in ur own grade or in a higher up grade, i dont usually make friends with ppl in lower grades but ofc there are always exceptions.
making friends through friends is how u get invited to parties, have more opportunities be available to you, and ofc network for more connections. guys connections are literally EVERYTHING.
MAKE TIME FOR UR FRIENDS ;
make sure to learn who u call friends. when is their birthday? do they have specific preferences? what kind of music do they listen to? knowing ur friends makes them feel special and thats how u learn to be a good friend. i can make a whole POST about being a good friend cuz i've learned and grown so much with that.
THE POWER OF A COMPLIMENT ;
make it ur mission to give a compliment everyday cuz first off, being nice is HOT so pls be nice and second of all, if ur trying to talk to someone and u start with a compliment i promise that it'll go so much better.
if ur thinking "thats so awkward how will i do that" then the category dont be shy is one that u gotta read cuz girl 💀. if u need an example i'll provide one from my own experience so u can see the power of a compliment.
there was this girl in my spanish class and i always thought that she was so pretty and she seemed so nice. one day we bump into each other in the bathroom and i compliment her hair and makeup, she responds well. we continue to have friendly interactions throughout the rest of the school year and now we are good friends on and off campus.
DONT BE SHY ;
when u make friends please please PLEASE work on ur confidence first. you need to be SURE of yourself. if not, when ur being friendly it could come off as desperation and ppl will humiliate, make fun of and take advantage of u. and thats NOT hot.
be CONFIDENT, you literally have nothing to lose. when u shed ur shyness (thru things like exposure therapy etc) a whole new world is opened up for u bcuz sometimes the only thing holding u back is urself and ur limiting beliefs about urself.
MAKE UR PERSONALITY SHINE ;
make sure that know ur own personality and from knowing that u can find ways in which u can make it shine. no matter what ur personality is though, something that i cannot stress enough is BE NICE.
be friendly and amicable with everyone and stay out of drama and if drama comes to you then stay unbothered 😭. dont try and uproot ur own personality to copy someone else's.
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#becoming that girl#it girl#self care#self love#that girl#it girl energy#advice#girlhood#dream girl#dream girl tips#dream life#friendship#social life#social butterfly#princess#hyper femininity#hyper feminine#doll#self improvement#self growth#self development#being a good friend#be nice#self concept#confidence#confidence tips#self confidence
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