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2manyfandoms2count · 4 years ago

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Love you (not) - Chapter 1

I can't believe it's already @marichatmay again... What a year. This time, I won't be jumping in completely blindly into the challenge, I've got it mostly planned out in a single fic, which starts on the same day as Weredad, but embraces the fake-dating shenanigans because yes. This relationship will be mutually unrequited from our beloved characters' point of view, until it's not anymore.

Hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3 | Next

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Chapter 1: In which the author sees the fake dating shenanigans canon provided and deems they weren’t enough

“That’s because I’m… In love with you!”

The words still echoed in Marinette’s head hours after they’d been said, and covering her eyes and ears with her arms as she laid in bed did nothing to make them less loud.

Stupid words coming out of her mouth unbidden. Untrue, too.

She ought to have told Chat Noir that she’d had every right to be standing on her rooftop at night, after an Akuma had destroyed her room. She totally would’ve been allowed to feel slightly claustrophobic and want to take a breath of fresh air; or even to want to check that everything was back to normal.

But noooooo. She’d had to declare her love for him. She grunted at the thought that saying she had a crush on him would have been more than enough. He would’ve gotten the gist, he could’ve turned her down gently, and they could have marched on as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t like they ran into each other that often - like this, anyway.

But now Chat was coming over for lunch with her family, and he’d surely want an explanation. How could she backtrack? How could she explain to him that she’d blurted the first thing that had come to her mind to avoid him discovering that she was his superhero partner, whom he happened to be in love with, without telling him that part? You don’t just accidentally confess your love to someone instead of saying you were just hanging out on your balcony.

She tossed in her bed. She had to solve the situation. She had to come clean to him at lunch, at least to clear her conscience.

Maybe sleep would help organise her thoughts so she wouldn’t say anything stupid.

If she could only get the damn words out of her head.

---

“That’s because I’m… In love with you!”

Saying Marinette’s words had been unexpected was probably the understatement of the year, Adrien thought as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

His first thought after seeing her had been that she must’ve been a fan. Of Ladybug, at least, and maybe of his. Given how close she and Alya were, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been out to catch something to contribute to the Ladyblog. After all, her balcony had been a particularly excellent spot that night to snatch some close-up pictures of the heroes, and maybe even an interview.

Not to mention the other reason that explained her presence, which he’d realised after giving it a little more thought: they’d been fighting quite literally on her doorstep.

But even if he could’ve thought about it for ages, there was no way that he could have even suspected the real reason she’d been waiting on her balcony. That she was in love with him. With Chat Noir.

But then again, he thought as he shifted to his side, maybe it did make sense. It kind of explained why she didn’t have a significant other (not that girls needed a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but couples were pretty common at Françoise Dupont). Given how kind and amazing Marinette was, and how many people had had crushes on her (Nino being a fine exhibit A), Adrien had kind of wondered why she didn’t have people flocking around to ask her out. Her being in love with Chat Noir was new information for him, but maybe it was common knowledge, and he just hadn’t paid enough attention.

It wasn’t like they talked about their feelings much at school, he supposed, wondering if that meant she didn’t trust him enough to confide in him. He shook away the small wave of sadness and... was it yearning? that overcame him at the thought, and recentered the topic.

The point was, he’d been too taken by surprise by Marinette’s confession to process it in time and turn her down in the gentlest way possible. Or even at all.

If anything, he’d dived straight into a potential relationship by accepting lunch at her parents’.

That didn’t send out the right message at all.

He had to fix it. Soon, before it got out of hand, so as not to lead her on. He had to do it the next day.

Sleep would help him make his rebuttal as smooth as possible.

If only he could just get her words out of his head.

---

As she stood guard on her balcony the next morning, threatening grey clouds hanging over the horizon, Marinette entertained the hope that Chat Noir wouldn’t come over at all, which would solve the problem of coming clean to him, and the newly formed outrage that Chat Noir was falling in love way too easily these days. So much for the strength of his love towards Ladybug, really.

It seemed a little cowardly for him not to respect his commitment to lunch, but it had been pretty last minute, and kind of surreal; she would have understood, and she was sure her parents would have as well. It wasn’t like Chat Noir wasn’t one of the superheroes of Paris; she would have been ready to sign him a waver as Ladybug saying he’d been dealing with some Very Important Business on the other side of town if the topic ever came up with her parents.

This is why she was almost surprised to see him vault across the rooftops, clearly making his way towards the Dupain-Cheng Bakery, just as she’d been ready to give up on his presence. She grunted internally as Tikki gloated, and made her way downstairs to greet him.

Tom stood proudly next to the table, which she’d laid out for four people. She hid an embarrassed eye roll. It almost felt like he was the one who was waiting for his date. At least, he seemed a lot more excited about it than she was.

“Come on Marinette, open the door for him!” He all but pushed her towards the entrance.

She did as she was told, and had barely had time to register Chat Noir’s greeting when she was pushed aside, Tom engulfing her guest in a bear hug. She facepalmed. This was not sending the right message at all .

He’s going to think that I stayed up all night gushing about him to my parents, and that I’m convinced that I’m going to marry him even though we’ve only talked like twice before, this is a disaster, he’s going to think I’m insane and -

Her inner freak out was interrupted by her mother reminding her father that Chat Noir did need to breathe, which coincidentally shut down any analysis of why Chat thinking she was insane would be such a terrible thing, when really, sending him running would solve most of her immediate problems.

She was suddenly facing her partner with a mind void of all social etiquette. How did one greet someone one had recently declared their love to? Was shaking hands appropriate? Or was it more of an elaborate fistbump situation? This situation would be a lot less awkward if my parents weren’t staring and- woah, what does he think he’s doing?? She thought as she saw Chat lean forward with his lips puckered up. Surely we’re not there yet?! Even if I told him I loved him?

She froze as his face approached hers, her lips automatically kissing Chat’s cheeks when she realised he was simply going in for the classic, friendly, Parisian bise . Thank goodness , she sighed discreetly as they pulled away.

“Here, I wasn’t sure what to bring,” Chat Noir scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he handed her a rose.

A pale pink rose, she noted as she took it. Symbolising gentleness and gratitude. He wasn’t jumping into this relationship like he did with Ladybug. There was hope yet.

“Thank you, that’s very thoughtful of you,” she replied with a smile, interrupting her father before he blurted out whatever well-meaning, but unhelpful and slightly embarrassing speech he had lined up. She turned towards her parents. “Maman, Papa, is lunch ready yet?”

“Not exactly, I’m sorry, Mr. Chat Noir, I wasn’t exactly sure when you were arriving…” Tom replied a little sheepishly.

“That’s perfect! I mean, it’s fine, Papa, don’t worry about it. Can Chat Noir and I go upstairs for a bit?” Marinette laughed awkwardly.

Sabine smiled knowingly, and put a hand on her husband’s arm. “I think that’s a great idea. Tom, why don’t you prepare some vol-au-vents for them to snack on?”

“Of course!” Marinette watched her father rush around the corner and pile the amuse-bouches on a plate. “You’ll have to tell me what you think, I tried a new recipe in honour of young love.” He shoved the plate in Marinette’s hands and all but pushed them up the stairs. “Have fun, you two! And leave the door open!”

Marinette ran up the stairs and put the plate down on her desk before hiding her face in her hands, mortified. “I’m so sorry about my Dad.” She peeked at Chat Noir from behind her fingers. “He’s not usually this intense with people he’s just met.”

“I kind of like it, actually.” Chat smiled. “It’s nice that he cares.” He picked up a vol-au-vent and studied it, before gobbling it down. Marinette could have sworn that his gaze had darkened.

She played with a piece of fabric that poked out from her project hamper, unsure what to say next. Chat ate another pastry. In the silence that surrounded them, the slight pitter-patter of the rain that had finally broken out on her roof was deafening.

“Listen, I need to tell you something-” They both started simultaneously.

“You go,” Marinette gestured towards him.

“No, you,” he gestured back.

“You’re the guest, you should go first,” she encouraged him.

Chat Noir took a deep breath and accepted to bite the bullet. “Listen, Marinette, I really like you. You’re amazing. To be honest, I’d love to know you better…” He scratched the back of his head.

Marinette had bitten the inside of her cheeks as she kept a smiling façade during his praise, but she had to interrupt him. “Chat… I really don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, I put you on the spot last nice and I’d really hate you to think that because I... have feelings for you,” she winced as she spoke, even though she knew deep inside that there was no better way of putting it and that she had to stick with her lie, “you have to go out with me or something, or even stay here.”

“There’s no obligation, I promise, Marinette,” Chat said earnestly as he looked at her put on a brave face. It was just like her to put her feelings aside if it could make him happy, but he couldn’t just leave. He had to make sure she was alright. She deserved that much, if not more. She was such a great friend.

“But really, if you have better things to do, I’d totally understand it…”

In the peculiar light of the spring shower, Marinette looked particularly anxious and tormented, Chat Noir noted. Leaving now, even though it would be best in the long run, was just a recipe for an Akuma. And if she did indeed get akumatised, he would feel like he’d planted a seed, and their environment had quite literally immediately gone to water it.

“If it’s what you want…” He probed.

Marinette realised that Chat looked very dejected at the idea of leaving; the way he gazed longingly at the vol-au-vents made her question if her partner ate enough as a civilian. She sighed as she saw that outside, the rain had intensified. She really couldn’t let him go now. Cats didn't mix well with water.

“ A table! ” Her mother’s voice came exactly at the right moment.

“I’d be very happy if you stayed.” She smiled, extending a hand towards him.

“Really?” His tone was hopeful as he walked towards her and took it.

“Yeah.” She led him downstairs, shaking her head imperceptibly at the thought that she was probably making a big mistake by doing this.

Seeing him laugh out loud at her father’s bad jokes, tears streaming down his face as he held his sides, before proceeding to eat like he hadn’t in a decade, encouraged by her mother, made her change her mind. Maybe she could keep up the charade for a bit, if it meant he could be this happy.

After all, even though she didn’t love Chat Noir that way, she still loved him a little bit. Enough to keep him out of the rain, that was for sure.

#we're back baby #marichat may #marichat may 2021 #miraculous ladybug #the miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #ml #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #marichat #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #tom dupain #sabine cheng #weredad #day 1: rain #elle writes #love you (not)

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lynseymoon · 6 years ago

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my videoranch experience

ok, hi. hello. so, now that holiday “excitement” has died down, and tumblr’s new bs nipplegate has caused a mass exodus of users, i feel like it’s an appropriate time for me to talk about this.

for those of you who aren’t aware; hi, it’s me, lynsey moon. in case you don’t feel like reading a big long mess, i will preface this by saying that this is going to be about my videoranch experience. if that’s something you don’t really care about, feel free to skip on by. ok, on we go--

so, as a lot of you have probably heard, i was fired very unceremoniously from videoranch this past september, after working there for 10 years. up until now, i haven’t really felt like i had a safe platform to vent this information on. i think i was still holding onto a little thread of hope that maybe things would go back to the way they were. unfortunately, that hope has passed, but on the bright side, i’m feeling a whole lot better about the situation. i am going to do my best to tell my complete story, while remaining as impartial as possible. there are other stories that connect to mine, but i don’t feel it is my place to speak for those people, so i am not really going to discuss anything other than my own experience. anyway, let’s get into the details--

context/backstory:

before my firing, i had worked for videoranch as their social media manager for maybe about 7 years, and had been a dj in vr3d for about 10. without getting into the long ass story of how, i was hand selected by nez. we became pretty friendly, and would exchange emails and chat on skype fairly often. even when there were long stretches where we didn’t talk, he would still occasionally shoot me a one-liner or two. after i had been djing regularly for a few years, his wife vic announced she was leaving. she was the one who pretty much kept vr running (the woman behind the curtain, so to speak), and she asked if i would take over running the vr fb page, which was virtually unused at the time. i agreed, and started making regular posts about the music, and events in vr3d. some years later, i set up the tumblr, twitter, and (more recently,) the instagram accounts for vr. i enjoyed the work i did. i really liked interacting with the fans, and getting them excited about nez news/vr happenings. over the years, i single-handedly grew their online audience to be in the thousands. so all those social media pages for vr you see, with the exception of the youtube page? yeah; those were all me.

new employee #1:

maybe 2-3 years ago, nez’s assistant tells me that they’re temporarily hiring this well-known person in the monkees community, to help promote a t-shirt sale. we were told that this person would just be on board for the sale, and then they’d be departing. nez’s assistant asks me to give them social media privileges. keep in mind, i have been the ONLY person posting on our pages up to this point. so, of course, i give this person privileges, so they can post about the sale. the sale ends, and nez’s assistant tells me that this person is going to stay on as sort of a “sales” person, to help them move some merchandise. this person keeps their page privileges, and is told to only post things related to sales, which they do, but they also post all kinds of other trivia and photos, which is essentially what i am also doing. already, things are starting to feel a bit crowded, but i go along with things and try to be amiable, because i like my job and i don’t want there to be any animosity.

new employee #2:

about a year ago, we are told that nez’s assistant (of many, MANY years) is leaving, and that a new person is taking their place. this person had previously been in charge of the (now defunct) “vr forums”, where fans were free to discuss nez’s work. i am not going to get into this person’s reputation among the fans, because that is a whole other situation that would take way too long to get into. suffice it to say, this person is well-known.

this person immediately takes the reins from nez’s previous assistant, and sends us information on what kind of posts they’d like to see on social media. they set up an official vr youtube page. they instruct me to post one photo and one video per day. i suggest that posting that often might lead to oversaturation, and therefore not get us as much visibility through the fb algorithm. i also point out that there are only so many videos/photos available online, and i will probably run out and have to start reposting things before too long. they insist. i comply. one video and one photo per day. i start scheduling posts per their request, to meet these quotas. they also instruct me to use the tumblr page more. i try to explain that tumblr is largely a younger audience, and the posts there don’t get much traction. they insist. i comply. they also ask that i give them fb privileges, so that they can begin posting things, in addition to my posts, and the posts by new employee #1. they ask that i stop asking questions in my posts. i try to say that questions engage the fans. they disagree. i stop asking questions. our pages start to become oversaturated with multiple posts by multiple people, and i try not to make much of a fuss, because again; i like my job, and i do not want to make waves.

at this point, with the amount of posts going out on a daily basis, i quietly reduce my posts to 3-4 times a week. i try to alternate between photos and videos, to keep things from going stale. i am hoping that the new assistant does not notice, because it seems to be helping our posts get more engagements. they notice, and instruct me to again; post one photo and video a day. i try to continue with these posts as requested, and soon begin running out of photos. i ask for help in finding more, as i know this person is a known nez expert, and must have plenty. they tell me that this is my job, and i should be the one researching these things. bear in mind, before this person came along, my job was to post about the events in vr3d, and occasionally throw up a nez photo or fun fact. not to be a historian. i didn’t bother trying to explain this to the new assistant because again; i. liked. my. job. i tried to do my best to comply, just to keep things running as smoothly as possible.

the firing:

early september 9th, i was sitting around, thinking of a post to make. as i pick up my phone, i see an email saying i’ve been removed as an admin on the fb page. immediately, i start freaking out, and fearing for the worst. if you remember, at this point, nez was on tour with the fnb, and currently in texas. frantically, i text nez’s other assistant (who mostly just deals with nez himself, and does not work with the social media side of things). i tell her what happened, and she is confused. she assumes (like me), that it had to be a mistake, and says she will check with nez and the other people in texas to see what they know. in the meantime, i message new employee #1, to see if they know anything. as i suspected, they do not, and are just as confused as i am. i start trying to convince myself that maybe it WAS just a simple mistake, but deep down i feel that it isn’t.

nez’s other assistant (i’ll just say noa) gets back to me, and says that everyone is in the dark about this. they ask me if i’ve emailed new employee #2 about it, and i confess i haven’t. i have been avoiding it, hoping i could get things corrected before having to talk to the one person i feel is responsible for this. in between all of this, i am attempting to log into all the other social media accounts, only to find that they have all had their passwords changed. instagram locks me out, because there has been an attempt to log in from texas. i am panicking, but try to appear calm as i compose an email to the assistant. i state simply that it looks like the passwords have all been changed, and inquire if maybe we’d been hacked.

a dreadfully long hour later, i receive my reply. i have it saved, but i still hate having to re-read it. the first line was the only thing close to an explanation i received:

"The operations of our company require us to remove your position as a social media content creator. You are welcome to continue DJing in VR3D, but we can no longer pay you for these sessions."

that is a direct quote, by the way. the email went on to say that the comped tickets i had already secured through noa were now null and void, and if i wanted to attend the show, i would have to pay my own way. reader, i was absolutely gutted. i was devastated. i sobbed-- SOBBED-- for an hour. i was full of confusion, loss, and hurt feelings. the lack of explanation was what killed it for me the most. that, and the fact that i was being fired by someone who had been there for a tenth of the time that i had. i was being indirectly let go by someone who i once considered my friend. i started to wonder if he even knew what had transpired, or how. also within the email was a complaint about a post i had made, about the anniversary of the newspaper ad for the monkees. i was told it was “inappropriate” to be posting monkees-related things while nez was on a fnb tour. mind you, i don’t think it was that act that got me fired, but i wasn’t even made aware that this was a problem until after the fact. it was like i was supposed to already know this, and i obviously did not.

aftermath:

i was an absolute wreck about this for about a month. i kept going over the events in my mind, trying to make sense of it all. the offer to continue djing felt like a cold slap in my face; as though i would take joy in continuing to share music in a place that i was no longer welcome in. it felt like being broken up with. after it was confirmed, noa sent me a text that just said “i’m so sorry”. even nez’s former assistant, who had always been very kind to me, called and left me a very sweet voicemail wishing me well, and expressing her disappointment in what happened. other friends of mine in the band also expressed their shock and sadness to me. even new employee #1 claimed to be surprised, though i am now second-guessing that, as that person remains to be on the staff, while i am not. it seemed like everybody wanted me to stay, except for this new assistant. it also seemed like nobody even knew why i was fired. maybe even the assistant didn’t know, and they just wanted me gone, and had the means to make it happen. the whole thing was one big drawn out gut punch.

i agonized for a long time about whether or not i wanted to go to the show. eventually, i found a friend of a friend with two tickets, and i took that as kismet, and decided to attend. i told myself it would be my last one. before the show, i got to meet up with circe and christian, and without going into too many details (for their sake), i felt a little better after talking to them. i also saw noa there, who gave me a very sweet card and wished me well. it felt somewhat cathartic to feel that i was appreciated by (almost) everyone. the show, of course, was impeccable, though it wasn’t as enjoyable as the other nez shows i’ve attended, but i expected that to be the case. afterwards, i hung around for a bit and chatted with friends. i saw noa leading nez over to the meet and greet, and i believe she guided him past us on purpose. he gave me a sad little wave and said “hello” before being rushed off. i convinced myself that i was never going to get any real closure for the whole situation, so i called that my closure, and left.

in conclusion:

based on the way things seem to be running now, and how they were when i left, i feel a little less sad about having to leave. again, i am going to try to remain as impartial as possible here, but it almost seemed like that chapter of my life was meant to close when it did. when it first happened, in addition to the pain i felt, i also felt incredibly anxious about the extra money i was going to lose from this. i had literally JUST moved into a new, more costly apartment just a week prior, and was distraught about how i was going to afford it. luckily, things have been working out, and i’ve been getting by just fine. initially, i had hoped that everything was just a big mistake, and that nez (or someone) was going to contact me and tell me to come back, but the more time passes, the more unconvinced of that i become. at this point, it’s in my best interest to just try to move on, and take pride in all the things i accomplished while i was at videoranch. it was a huge part of my life for so long, and now then suddenly it wasn’t, so of course it was a pretty big adjustment to make. slowly but surely, i am making peace with everything.

lastly, i have seen some rumors floating around that i want to dispel:

my firing was not a “financial decision”-- some people have been spreading this around, and it is simply not true. i got confirmation on this from c&c, noa, and others. nez has enough money to hire a private jet to shuttle him from show to show. he is not hurting for money.

this probably goes without saying after everything i’ve written, but i was fired. i did not leave voluntarily, nor did i have plans to. this decision was made entirely without me.

i was getting paid for the work i was doing, and was a contract worker for vr. i was not a volunteer.

i always tried to follow instructions and requests from my superiors to the best of my ability. even though i would sometimes question the reasoning behind things, i would always try my best to be polite and maintain a productive work environment. i never once refused to do anything that was asked of me.

so there you have it; now you finally know what really happened to lynsey moon. if you have any questions about this, feel free to drop me an ask, and i will try my best to answer. thanks for listening, especially if you made it this far. i appreciate all the support i’ve received. ❤

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