#like you're a good team but my god

[laenij]

dear americans, if you dont understand why the entire rest of the world is celebrating you going out of the wwc let me enlighten you.......it’s defintely that incredibly arrogant and up yourselves ad you put out just before the cup began.

[roses-and-revolutions]

Almost finished reading Dungeon Meshi and I got an idea

So in Dungeon Meshi or Delicious in Dungeon, there are these... dungeons.

And from what I have gathered dungeons can be made naturally or artificially but both types have the same few things in common.

They are made to contain demons

They attract adventures

The dungeons have lords who manage/control the dungeon and are given the power to do so by the demons

I know that I'm skimming over some important bits, but long story short, the demons come from an alternate dimension called 'The Infinite Realm' and feed off of people's desires, the Lord of the Dungeon's specifically.

That being said... (incoming dp x dc prompt)

Beings from the Infinite Realms aren't ghosts but demons. And while they do still have obsessions, they lack desires. And so, they've become something they hunger for.

Danny learns this the hard way when he accidentally eats his parents' desire to hunt 'ghosts'.

When the endless, all-consuming hunger, that had been growing inside himself became just a bit satisfied by the action, he got scared. He ran to Clockwork, who immediately explained everything to him.

From there he became terrified. He didn't want to eat people's desires, especially considering that he had some of his own. But CW explained that while other demons will most likely never be satisfied no matter how many desires they consume, because of Danny's halfa status he may be able to. (Also it would be a bad thing if the baby starves itself. No one wants the baby to starve!)

To test out this theory, CW pulls (more than) a couple of strings, and soon his dungeon was set up in Gotham City in the DC universe.

He felt a bit bad since he had to set up shop in another ghost's/demon's territory, but Lady Gotham seemed to have taken a liking to him.

Danny takes his time searching for the most desperate person he can find, (Lady Gotham is leading him to some of the most desperate people in her city, aka the Batfam.), and appears to one of them as a fawn (signifying his hunger and current 'lack' of power). He then looks deep into their mind and offers them the power to fulfill all their desires.

The Batfam? They should be better than this, but damn they were in a tight spot and the city is going to shit because the rouges have been more active than ever, and their family is on the verge of crumbling!... And the answer to fix it all was right there, just within their reach.

They held the fawn in their arms gently. Its ivory wings, coat of starlight, and piercing Lazurus green eyes. Gotham began to change.

A few years later, some members of the JL and the JLD are once again trying their hand at clearing the dungeon but are a bit discouraged because last time their team was wiped out completely.

It was inconvenient how their powers were nullified whenever they were inside the dungeon, but they had yet to find a spell to counteract it.

In an attempt to get past the third floor, they teamed with a team called Team Phantom, which comprised two young adult siblings, their 12-year-old sister, and a few teenagers.

Morally, they were against this. No one this young should be trying to clear the dungeon! But on the other hand, this team was the closest to getting to the fourth floor.

Sucking it up, they teamed up with the young dungeon dwellers and quickly found out why they were so close to getting to the third floor.

These kids were skilled. These kids were powerful. These kids were trained. On top of that, they didn't care about their lives! Because these kids? They wouldn't- no! They couldn't die, and they were using it to their advantage.

The JL/JLD now had much more to worry about than clearing the dungeon.

[souenkun]

Did yorishima getting his arm possessed by a youkai came with a bonus of eternal youth or something 😭

[chasedeys]

oh em gee im a ravens fan 😞💔. i also adore lamar …would love to hear your thoughts on lamar/derrick and/or lamar/kyle 🤗🤗

ALSJDJSJ HELLOOO 😭😭 first of all sorrows sorrows prayers 💔 and like. slight apologies did my sudden rooting for the ravens bc the lions booked it (sorrows sorrows prayers also 😔….apologies did my sudden rooting for the lions—😭) bring you shit luck like. how the fuck... BUT ANYWAYS BRINGING JOYYYY with some rpf talk akhdskjs wow brought this upon myself i dont really like know much abt the ravens ship wise argrhgrh like i don’t think anybody has asked me any ship outside of the bengals?? outside of joemarr really 😭 like no one has even asked me abt jjkoc whom i adore and bring up constantly even on asks abt joemarr?? 😭 (EDIT: THANK YOU CASEY AND CHRISNOELIE WHO HAVE LITERALLY JUST SENT ASKS 😭😭❤️) that’s such a shame (to be fair i dont really. know that many ships or show. that i like ship that many either lmao) 😔 OH WELL OKAY USING THIS LIKE. FOR MY PORTFOLIO what fucking portfolioaksjsksksk yapped abt any ship of my own volition am actually sweating a bit at this bc like. i dont actually?? know them??? so this is mostly like from Vibes ive seen from clips of them floating around here and twt and ig that have spurred the Fire in me to just. See Shit. do you get me.

bengals mutuals who are sensitive abt ravens pls look away 🫶 and like don’t block me aksjsksk let me rpf in peace i beg 😭 i just see pretty men with chemistry and i want to see them kiss 😔

AUGH prefacing this with like. the only thing ive actually written shippy wise abt the ravens is that one lamar/ja’marr thing im actually so fucking fond offfff in that shippy rpf list thing i did way back oh that led that one ask i got damn wait i actually have gotten an ask outside of joemarr like that frock and also on lamar/ja’marr!!!!! god i should do that thing again akhdksjs ANYWAYS SORRY MOVING ON (wait no. lamar/ja’marr. still so enamored. sorry. it’s the ja’marr truther in me i fear.)

disclaimer my characterization (???? for rpf?????) of them may be skewed???? because like. i haven’t been as deep into their lore as i am with joemarr and the bengals. and like their history isn’t as deeply documented here as joemarrs is lol. i follow. 2 people tops including you who are ravens fans. several others with running back adoration shining through too so. like. keep that in mind 😭

DERRICK LAMAR HERE WE GOOOOO FUCKKKKK do you know. how fucking enamored i am. that derrick has been so fucking steadfast in his defense of lamar as a quarterback. he’s so. all his tweets. all his quotes. oh my godddd. he’s soooooo. he came to fucking ravens because lamar is the fucking quarterback???? all those clapbacks he did saying lamar is his qb????? i don’t actually recall all his tweets sorry are they tweets wow but like. all i remember are just. vibes. and those vibes are just. him basically saying. fuck you i know what im all about and that’s lamar fucking jackson keep his name out of your mouth. thats hot as shitttttt are you kidding me 😭😭 and he’s gorgeous. fucking beautiful. he’s fucking huge and downright shameless about it. he wears his tops like they’re a suggestion rather than a necessity. i think he’d rather wear crop tops on the daily actually. we should start petitioning nfl uni changes to like. crop tops. see through pads too. he’d be overjoyed, i think. i’d be overjoyed. also.

and lamar’s like. murder in his mind but also fucking hilarious this man in the playoffs talking abt how he’s here to compete not be friends with other qbs or something like that idk i forgot whatever it is he said that one presser abt josh? (?) but just like. one track minded (understandable btw something to prove being mvp however many times and yet. always falling short in the playoffs. just. yikes. for him. god. i feel so terrible for him 😬) but also. the entire beyonce thing 😭 hilarious. the christmas thing where he kind of disappeared?? where the hell was he 😭 what was that hard knocks ep akdhsksk i forgot and like his presser clips that sometimes pop byyyy hes cute idc idc but like sorry if im jumping here and there here back to derrick a bit so i can lead back to lamar -> derricks super chill? or well. he’s sooooo sure of himself. hes 31. 8 years itl nothing rattles him. he knows what he wants. immovable. doesn’t quake that easy. but like stressing again: knows what he wants. pro bowl? sure. ravens because the quarterbacks lamar jackson? sure. like it doesn’t really take much to rattle him yk?? like as far as i can seeee auagahagh i don’t really see many clips of himmm though i did see him dance with zay i think?? cuteeeee whimsy showing up when urged with all these new guys he’s getting comfy with!!! and alsoooo ive seen him hype the ever living shittttt out of saquon!!! that’s some cute shit. signing into the ravens with some lowballed contract too i think?? says something abt him!! idk chill is a word id use abt him. his reaction to the probowl is still so fucking 😭 but again, knows what he wants. which: lamar. who, again: one track minded, gets incredibly shitty jokey jokes at the most random of times, mentions his mother cussing him out shamelessly, jokes about going out to see beyonce during halftime, cannot help himself mentioning a meme from a reporters name, etc etc and also. gives me the vibes of. not really catching anyone putting down any moves on him. because he thinks they’re just appreciating his quarterbacking. and derricks reallyyyyyyy good at that. hyping the everliving shittttt out of him. praising him on all platforms and straight to his face. from day one. coming into the ravens bc hes the qb. outright saying that so he knows exactly what to expect from derrick and what to do to level up to him. so like. super cute to think of derrick asking him out and lamar just. not clicking 😭 and lamar praising him right back toooooo 😭 all his shit being super technical while derricks just waiting. to be wooed back. because he’s thinking like. oh lamars pretty smart yk he knows what derrick wants and has been doing no way he doesn’t and he’s so fucking sure of himself no way lamar isn’t wanting him back but lamar isn’t fucking doing anythinggggg. he’s just. being a really good teammate. derrick hasn’t heard a single actual flirtatious thing that isn’t like. you’re really good at football that’s such a sexy run and he’s all that winona ryder confused math meme trying to think if that’s an actual pick up line but he’s seen lamar flirt in clubs to get better seats or better shelved drinks if the bartender doesnt recognize them damn it when the fuck is he getting the full experience. until it slowly dawns on him he doesn’t fucking realize that derrick has been outright fucking flirting with him. WHICH leads tooo a bit of lamar/kyle which is like only because of that one clip aksfaksl wait okay THIS IS A MESS UGH SORRY ->

lamar/kyle!!! i know not much about them tbh!!! just that kyle is fucking gorgeousssssssss and lamar is toooooo oh my god. oh my god that one clip. that one fucking clip. of kyle coming up to lamar. and back hugging him. wait let me fucking find it auagahsgsu IS THAT NOT THE CUTEST SHIT????? i am superrrrr into this dynamic of like. heavy devotion into your quarterback because of how fucking GOOD they are. like. tell me that entire fucking team isn’t the least bit besotted with lamar fucking jackson. (i have like. the slightest clue of the ravens roster tbh. sorry. i do the same shit with like. joe. all those boys. enamored with him. because he's so fucking good. argrhgrhh. see also: bryce lol) but that fucking clipppp the casual intimacyyyy the casual mindless way kyle trots to lamar talking to the coaches and slaps at his shoulder and decides to just latch on to him locking his wrists??? the hell is he doing??? CUTE. ARGHRGH. i didnt even know he moved this way btw 😭😭 and lamar's hands coming up to fumble distractedly at kyles wrists like did he even know. who that was. he didnt even really break a stride with his convo and no. 53 didnt even look at kyle weird?? do his guys usually just latch on to him like this. that's so cute the hell. i need to know more. do they do this often. hello. talk to me do they just latch on to him this often hello. hello. how many of his guys just have like. puppy crush on him. because this is what this is to me lmao like. a little hero worship. lamars ass doesn't see what this is 😭 he's fucking oblivious. (god you gotta tell me if I'm like reaching or off my fucking rockers or however the saying goes btw like again i got this out of Vibes) -> AND BACK TO DERRICK WHO SEES THIS ->

a little derrick seeing this from the corner of his eye. a little nudge to lamars belly. a little smirk. a little 'what he likes you?' 'what' 'what' 'what do you mean what' 'oh i see you’re a little dumb on things like this thats okay' 'on things like what what do you mean' 'its fine hey were still on this friday right' 'what yeah that fancy place on so so street right why is it so important that i wear a black tie anyway' 'because its supposed to be a date you dumbass god i really do have to spell it out for you' 'what' 'what what' '….what' AUAGHAHDHS CUTE CUTE no really you gotta tell me is my characterization right 😭 like. is it. help me. derrick seems so fucking sure of himself and like so fucking into lamar and lamar is like right back at derrick but!! well i guess for narratives sake im making it seem like lamars fucking oblivious lmaooo so. well.

hence -> yes next friday is a romantic formal dinner date lamar jackson. yes i am asking you out for an actual dinner date. as a romantic partner. that might end the night in making out. and sex, even, if you put out on, like, the sixth date if you actually realize that that's the sixth date—yes, that will be the sixth date, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. no, i won’t slow down, don’t run away. no yes of course you've never run away from something once in your life. yes, we can kiss now, c'mere. 

and do not. get me started. on all of lamar’s fucking reaction. to derrick’s running. and also i think i saw an interview clip of derrick calling lamar L………did i hallucinate that...............also the locker room pics 😭😭 girl derrick pull down your fucking jersey oh my godddd why is he like this why are there so many fucking pics of them just side by side or like shaking?? hands??? idk just in the presence of each other and is it the mandela effect why do i keep recalling him with his tummy out. (vs demure ass lamar covered head to toe idk i feel like i constantly see him in full gear?? is he like easily cold or like is that a stylistic choice or like. is that the norm with him or. like. am i just used to him wearing a shiesty during winter.)

apologies if this is like. more of a mess than my usual answer to asks 😔 whole other ship more unknown to me and like. typed this in my phone instead of on my laptop. answered in between classes which is where i am at life now apparently damn it is that the status quo now fuckjddkjsksksks

also shot myself in the foooottttt lmaoooo complaining abt not getting any jjkoc asks 😭 thank you for sending me asks i am ECSTATICCCCCC to be answering those but damn. when the fuck am i finishing this class 😃 SORRY FOR CONSTANTLY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT BTW SOMEWHERE EVERYWHERE IN THIS BLOG BUT LIKE. FUCK IS THIS SHITTTTT AUGHGUGHUGHUGHUGH abt to kms

[kyouka-supremacy]

One of my shin soukoku reunion theories (delusions) is Fukuchi telling Akutagawa to attack Atsushi, and he does. He jumps on him, and Atsushi isn't putting up a fight, and Akutagawa's going to bite his neck, and then...! He stops, fangs just inches away from Atsushi's neck, and asks, "Why didn't you fight back?" And Atsushi smiles and responds, "I trust you."

This scenario lives in my head rent free

HOW TO GIVE ME AN HEART ATTACK VIA ASK A GUIDE BY OP

No seriously, your mind, this is amazing and the best concept ever and the perfect scenario and I'm fully ditching canon in favour of this. The Atsushi growth it expresses I'm on the floor screaming!!!! The oh so needed character development, Atsushi truly starting to trust Akutagawa the same way has Akutagawa trusted him!!! Consolidating Atsushi's act of faith of chapter 87 instead of erasing his development! Atsushi's growth in finally letting go of the prejudices he holds against Akutagawa! Them being the perfect team Dazai always knew they would have become. I'm sobbing. Op I trust you to handle the characters more than author themselves

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Are you ok? What happened?

Yeah I'm chilling lmao we just had a patient presenting with a condition I'd never seen in person and it didn't end well for them unfortunately

[theoogtree]

Okay Lysandre literally just. "Whether or not I commit a world extinction event lies on your shoulders" sir I am a 10 year old that got my first Pokemon 4 days ago.

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

sometimes when im bored i imagine various ted lasso characters on taskmaster and that cheers me up

[icewindandboringhorror]

It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...

[tardis--dreams]

Feeling homicidal at work today ♡

[leatherbookmark]

also i'm team rinharu for the record. obviously

[diluc33rpm]

astarion is so fucking funny as a character because conceptually he hits all the marks of a wet cat blorbo but in practice he's unbelievably hard to stand. i'll be on the bg3 companion guide and have to start CRYING from trying to find the shit under his section that gains approval. loses -15 points for gently suggesting we not massacre an orphanage in cold blood with the d&d equivalent of a nuclear warhead

[judesstfrancis]

sorry about the state of my blog for the next little while btw it's trade deadline season and my teams are stupid <3

[chasedeys]

bengals win today yes?

[im-a-loaf]

@ghostertoasted ALKJKGALHJSKF

... car

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.