#like you need a proper reason to go out if it can get you out and doing things that is fuckin huge when you're not used to it
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jakesimfromstatefarm · 2 days ago
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the art & science of parenting 101 | jay park
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✰ summary: the art & science of parenting 101 (PSY1009)— in this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child'. late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal.   what you didn't expect to be part of the deal? getting paired with jay park—the last person you'd trust to raise, well, anything. you’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade.  warning: sleep deprivation is guaranteed. and maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. good luck! 
✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. enha members!]
✰ genre: fluff, comedy | e2l!au, college!au, (fake)parenting!au, he fell first, she fell harder type beat
✰ contains: mentions of parenting & parental neglect (sorta, only a smidge of like five words), crack! bc if you know me i self indulge in crack whoops, jay & y/n being opposites & school rivals, jay's annoying smirk like a million times, reader & jay are psych majors, jay's also a photographer, cheesy ass kisses, jay & reader are awkward! so awkward! there’s SO much tension . but in a cute awkward crush way
✰ wc: 20.5k [ONCE AGAIN -- this was not intentional..if you know me i just have too much fun writing sometimes & get too attached to the characters...]
✰ a/n: omg it’s finally done. tell me why it took me so long to finish, i promise i didn’t mean to but life’s been busier lately :’) aNyways! ugh i luv writing e2l!jay for some reason,,,he fits the trope so well in my eyes heh but i hope you all like him & the characters as much as i enjoyed writing them !!! as busy as i am i love indulging in my crack x enha writes :P hope u enjoy & tell me what you think <333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Welcome to PSY1009, The Art & Science of Parenting 101! Throughout the next 12 weeks, we’re going to dive deep into the wondrous world of parenting—dirty diapers and all. To kick off our course, we’re starting with our campus-famous project: raising your very own robot baby for the first half of the semester (with the help of your assigned partner, of course). Before our first class, we ask that you complete this pre-project questionnaire on your current views and opinions about parenting. No pressure—there are no right or wrong answers (maybe only judgements from your future robot offspring)!
Q1 – The Art & Science of Parenting 101 aims to apply different psychological approaches to parenting. What theories and methods do you believe are important to parenting? 
Y/N's Submission [8:25AM, September 18th]:
"I strongly believe that effective parenting revolves around a strict routine, which can be reinforced through the principles of operant conditioning, as developed by B.F. Skinner. Proper feeding schedules, consistent nap times, and regular development check-ins are essential—I think a structured timetable would ensure a baby's needs are met efficiently and consistently. With a set schedule and a focus on developmental milestones, I believe we can maximize a child's growth potential, even if it's just a robot baby.”
Q2 – What do you expect to learn and gain out of this co-parenting experience?  
Y/N's Submission [8:29AM, September 18th]:  
"I expect to confirm that a well-organized system is the key to successful parenting. I want to test my hypothesis that if you follow a set structure, yes, even with a robot baby, things will run smoothly. I am hoping that this experience runs smoothly with no unnecessary surprises.” 
✭・.・✫
Satisfied with your answers, you click 'submit' and close your laptop, feeling a wave of satisfaction as you settle into your seat—center of the second row—as you wait for the 9AM lecture to start.  
It's 8:30AM.  
You're the only one in the room.  
Yeah, you're a little early. So what? One can never be too prepared. You've waited for this course forever, and you're determined to not only ace it (like you do with every class) but to dominate. So yes, coming early is characteristic of you, as you want to ensure you get the best seat in the classroom: center of the second row—center to get the best view of the professor's podium, and second row to be close enough to show you're engaged, but not close enough that it screams, Look at me, I'm a tryhard!  
It's clear you've come prepared. Plus, this class isn't just any ordinary elective—it's the elective to take. Only the top students majoring in psychology get in, available only through direct invite by the professor. If you were invited to PSY1009, it meant you were the crème de la crème of psychology students. The best of the best. The elite. The— 
Your train of thought is derailed when an all-too-familiar figure strolls into the room with that signature smirk. Backpack slung lazily over one (1) shoulder (as if two straps are too much effort), hair clearly still bedhead status, wearing whatever clothes he fished off The Chair (you know, the one—where all questionable, semi-clean laundry lives). 
He strolls past you—of course—and plops down right in front of you. Front row.  
Try-hard. 
"Y/N, fancy seeing you here," Jay Park spins around, a knowing look plastered on his face, eyes gleaming. "I missed seeing that frown of yours all summer." 
"What are you doing here, Jay?" You roll your eyes and scoff at his comment. "Don't tell me you got into this class. It's for serious students."  
Jay's grin only widens to your despair. "Contrary to your deeply misinformed opinion, Professor Kim actually loves me. I'm a great student."  
“I don’t believe it,” you deadpan back. “You never turn your assignments in on time, and quite frankly, I'm surprised you were even able to find this classroom."  
Jay shrugs, unfazed. "What can I say? Professor Kim doesn't just look at deadlines, she looks at talent. Guess that says a lot about me, huh?"  
You mumble something under your breath about ‘talent for procrastination’ but before he can fire back, Professor Kim walks into the room, cuing the silence of all the students who've filled up the class.  
"Good morning, class! I'm so happy to see so many familiar faces."  
Jay turns his head back towards the front of the room, as you instantly straighten up, flashing your favorite professor a smile. This is officially the fifth course you've taken with Professor Kim. It's no secret you’re one of her biggest fans—the countless early mornings you've spent waiting at your computer, finger hovering over the ‘enroll’ button the second registration opens so you can be one of the first students to sign up for her classes have proven that. Challenging but rewarding, her classes are always worth the effort. And yet, for reasons beyond your comprehension, Jay Park—Jay Freaking Park—somehow always ends up in the same classes. Every. Single. Time. It’s like a curse.  
A loud, messy, procrastinating curse…
…that just so happens to have a side profile almost as annoyingly good that it only pisses you off more. 
You wonder if he’s actually here to learn or if he’s just here to spite you. Because, honestly, the amount of classes you’ve shared with him is no longer a coincidence. Five semesters in a row? Suspicious. 
But realistically, and unfortunately, Jay does study the same major as you, which means those last five semesters? Oh, those were five long semesters of endless debates on discussion boards, in-class duels over psychological theories, and the infamous showdown for the TA position in Professor Kim's Intro to Psychology course. And the worst part? Neither of you got the job because Professor Kim—in a diplomatic twist that made zero sense to you—deemed you both 'equally qualified.' So, the job went to the third best candidate instead. Tough luck.  
You open up your laptop again, opening a perfectly organized Google Doc, ready to take notes on whatever pearls of wisdom Professor Kim is currently bestowing about your upcoming project—which, in hindsight, you should really be paying attention to. You should be. But something so ridiculous, so blood-boiling, pulls your attention elsewhere.  
Jay's desk is completely...empty. 
No laptop. No notebook. Not even a measly little pencil. Did he bring an empty backpack? Or did he just walk in here like he's casually waiting for someone to present him his grade on a silver platter? He's just sitting there like this is a casual hangout—probably expecting his robot baby to parent itself while he simply supervises (oh, how you pity the poor soul who ends up as his partner).  
Before your self-induced inner monologue spirals into complete rage, you suddenly hear your professor's voice cut through the class, breaking you out of your mental rant.  
"Y/N and Jay." 
Wait. What?
Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.
You blink. You must have misheard.
"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."  
The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.  
And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.' 
"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.  
You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.  
But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.  
"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you, puppy dog eyes on display. "You don't want to play house with me?"  
You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. 
"I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you." 
Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?" 
"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction. You bring your voice down to a whisper, leaning towards him. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply." 
"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life. And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he has the audacity to breathe in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.
Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.  
Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.  
While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.  
Your grade? Plummeting as we speak.  Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two. And you?  
You're screwed.
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Q1 – The Art & Science of Parenting 101 aims to apply different psychological approaches to parenting. What are your current theories and methods that you believe are important to parenting? 
Jay’s Submission [10:09AM, September 18th]: 
"I think babies need more freedom to explore and make their own choices, even if that just means grabbing random things. Bowlby's attachment theory leans towards a secure attachment, but I don't think that means hovering over them 24/7. It's about being there when they really need you, not scheduling every second of the day. I also believe letting babies learn through their own experiences is key. Strict behaviorism, such as Skinner's, sounds exhausting and I don't think a rigid system is what makes a good parent. Babies are messy, and that's okay." 
Q2 – What do you expect to learn and gain from this experience? 
Jay's Submission [10:12AM, September 18th]:  
"I'm hoping to learn how to be a responsive, yet flexible parent without overcomplicating it. The goal is to find balance between being hands-on without hovering. And, I think this whole robot baby thing will teach me how to handle unpredictable situations—because no matter how much you plan, life is going to surprise you. And also, being able to say I know how to change a diaper under 30 seconds sounds pretty cool :)" 
✭・.・✫
Jay's screwed.  
Like, completely, utterly, hopelessly screwed. 
He was already kinda skeptical he’d make it past his 40s if he kept living the way he does, but now? Now, he’s not even sure he’ll survive the next 24 hours. Why? Well, today’s the first official meeting with you—as co-parents—at the campus coffee shop at 12PM sharp. 
It's 12:17PM.  
He's late.  
Seventeen whole minutes late. To your meeting. And you're basically the human embodiment of an atomic clock. You’re probably sitting there, checking your watch every few seconds, calculating his absence down to the millisecond. Jay can practically feel the murderous vibes you’re radiating from halfway across campus.  
And while Jay sometimes finds your need for punctuality weirdly endearing (but don't tell anyone that), he also values not getting scolded on a Saturday morning (12PM is still morning to him, don't judge), especially when he could be sleeping in.   
As the café comes into view, Jay considers just throwing the towel in. Maybe he could fake a sudden illness, or better yet, skip town and maybe fake his own death or something. 
There's no point. Knowing you, you'd probably hunt him down for sport.  
With a sigh, Jay pushes open the door to the café, bracing himself for impact.  
And there you are. Exactly how he imagined.  
Seated at a small table by the window, papers perfectly aligned, laptop open, and two different colored highlighters placed meticulously side by side. Your foot taps in perfect sync with the café's background music, your eyebrows knitted together in focus, and your teeth chewing your bottom lip as if you're about to crack the Krabby Patty secret formula. The window next to you allows the afternoon sunlight to spill through and reflect off of you, making you look...dare he say it...almost pretty.
If Jay wasn't fearing for his life, he might have actually stopped to admire the view. Might have.  
When Jay finally reaches your table—17 minutes and 46 seconds late (but who's counting)—you look up, meeting his gaze with a look that's somewhere between not surprised but definitely not impressed. 
"Well, well," you say, quirking your mouth up ever so slightly that Jay thinks he might see you smile for the first time in, like, ever. "Look who finally decided to join us! Must be nice living on Jay Standard Time."  
Jay flashes his usual, unbothered smile as he pulls out the chair across from you. "Oh, c'mon, Y/N. Seventeen minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of life."  
"Yeah? Tell that to our future robot baby when you're seventeen minutes late to feed it and its batteries die."  
"Yikes. That got dark quick," Jay's mutters, grin wavering. "But hey, glad to see you're finally accepting the fact that it's our future baby!"  
"Future robot baby," you peer your eyes at him from above your laptop. "Anyways, did you read the guidelines?"  
Jay rubs the back of his neck as he leans back into his chair. "Uh, define 'read'."  
Without missing a beat, you slap a packet of papers down on the table. "Here's the breakdown. Feeding schedules, emotional development tracker, diaper changes, mood swings—the whole shebang. We're going to have to approach this strategically."  
"Woah, okay," Jay's eyebrows shoot up, his brain trying to catch up with the words you just spewed at him. "First, how the heck is a robot going to develop emotionally—that's a little scary if you ask me. Like, dystopian, Black Mirror, scary. And second, since when is parenting just following a spreadsheet? Isn't part of it, you know, winging it?"  
At the words winging it, your eye twitches so violently, Jay half-expects you to reach across the table and strangle him with his own hoodie strings. 
"Winging it?" You shut your laptop and lean forward. "Winging it is exactly how we end up with a malfunctioning robot baby that starts a fire and fails us. Parenting is all about structure, consistency—"  
"—and having a little fun," Jay cuts in, mouth quirked with mischief. "I mean, what's parenting without some chaos?"  
"Chaos," you mutter, narrowing your eyes at him, "is what you bring into my life on a daily basis."  
"Yeah, and yet you secretly love it," Jay shoots back, leaning in to meet you, as if daring you to disagree.  
You stare at him, unblinking. It's either you're plotting his slow and painful demise or seriously considering what he just said. No in-between.  
And yet, somehow, Jay almost finds it endearing how you can look like the world's most innocent golden retriever while also simultaneously sending him six feet under with just one agonizing glare. Almost.  
Finally, you sigh, "This isn't a joke, Jay. This is 40% of our grade."  
"And I'm 100% ready!" Jay shoots back with a wink, to which you respond with a full-body eye roll.  
"Oh yeah? Alright, Mr. Ready-for-Anything, what's your brilliant plan?"
"Hmm," Jay leans back in his seat, folding his arms behind his head as if he's got it all figured out (he doesn't). "Well, for one, I was thinking maybe...shifts. We split responsibilities based on our schedules. I'll take the baby on certain hours, you take it other hours, and we'll spend our free days together. And if we're not together and there's a baby crisis, we stay on call." 
In complete honesty, that came from out of nowhere. Jay didn't even know any ideas were subconsciously cooking up within him until the words tumbled out of his mouth before he realized it. But there's no way he was going to tell you that, not when you don't immediately tear his idea to shreds. In fact, you actually look...impressed? 
Or so he thinks. Jay definitely needs to get better at this whole 'reading your expressions' thing.  
"Huh," you murmur to yourself, fingers tapping against the table. "That's...not the worst idea you've ever had."  
Jay feels elated. Validation? From you? Phew, this means his life is spared. Thank god.  
Jay flashes you a satisfied smile and while you don't return it, he hopes you're secretly softening. Just a little. Behind that straight face, you're probably low-key impressed, but no way are you letting him see that.  
"Don't get too excited," you say, as if you've got some sixth sense for whenever Jay throws a mental victory parade. "This is only day one. Of, like, 42. We've got a long way to go."  
"Okay, okay," Jay raises his hands in surrender, though there's no hiding the smirk on his face as he still mentally takes the win. "Message received. Let's just figure out our schedules?"  
You nod, pushing your laptop aside to make space for a sheet of paper you've already prepared—because of course you're prepared. It's like you're about to whip up some elaborate high-stakes legal contract that probably involves blood signatures.
"Okay," you say, clicking your pen, picking a bright blue that basically stabs Jay's eyes by simply existing, but whatever makes you happy, I guess. You write 'Jay's Schedule' at the top, neatly highlighting it with a pink highlighter that somehow hurts even more. Jay wonders if this is a secret ploy to blind him into submission. He wouldn't put it past you.  
"What's your typical weekly schedule like?"  
Jay squints, clearly thinking hard, as he tries to remember what a 'typical' week looks like for him. Mostly it's a mix of spontaneous decisions, power naps, and gym sessions sprinkled between classes.  
"Uh...well," Jay rubs the back of his neck. "I usually sleep in until like 11...sometimes noon, depends on the vibe, you know? Classes after that, gym a couple times a week, maybe? And, um, naps are non-negotiable. Make sure you pencil those in too."  
Your pen freezes mid-air, hovering like you're considering whether to throw it at his face or not.  
"Naps? Non-negotiable? For someone who wakes up at 11AM? We're raising a child, Jay, this requires commitment!"  
Jay raises a calm eyebrow. "Hey, sleep is very important for brain function! You wouldn't want me underperforming as a parent, right?"  
Your eye twitches. "No, Jay. That's already my biggest fear."  
But instead of escalating the snark, you bite your lip, clearly restraining yourself from unleashing a full lecture on time management. Jay struggles to stifle his own laugh at your reaction. If looks could kill, you'd have him buried under six feet of color-coded charts and to-do lists by now.  
Finally, you sigh, accepting your fate and jotting down ‘Jay’s naps: apparently crucial for survival’ in your notes with a frown drawn next to it, while Jay gives you an approving nod from across the table. 
"Alright, my turn," you flip the page over with dramatic flair, carefully writing 'Y/N's Schedule' in the same stab-your-eyes-blue and pink highlight combo as Jay mentally braces himself for what's to come.  
"So," you continue, starting with that no-nonsense tone that's clearly meant to be serious—but to Jay, there's something almost charming about how strict you are. "I wake up at 6."  
Jay's brain immediately short-circuits. Forget charming. You’re downright crazy. 
"6? As in AM? On purpose?"  
You blink back at him, as if he's the one saying something ridiculous. "Yes, Jay. On purpose."  
His mind reels, purely amazed, yet utterly horrified at the thought. 6AM? Who does that? He's seen 6AM before, sure, but only when he's stayed up all night, probably cramming for an exam. His mornings start at 10AM at best, and that's very, very rarely. There are birds chirping at 6AM. Who wants to live in a world where birds chirp you awake?  
When he doesn't respond—still in pure shock—you keep going, undeterred by his obvious existential crisis. "I usually have class at 8AM until 1PM, then I try to pick up a shift here," you gesture around the very café you two are in, "and then—"  
"Wait, wait," Jay holds up a hand, needing a mental pause button. "You work here?"  
"Yeah," you nod, like it's the most casual thing ever. "Why, is that surprising?"  
Jay squints at you. He's never considered the idea of you pulling espresso shots and dealing with caffeine-deprived college students—he's always pegged you more as a 'quiet math tutor for third-graders' type. Or maybe someone who sells cute stationery at the campus bookstore, organizing pens in rainbow order or something. But now that he's picturing it, yeah, it kind of makes sense. Maybe that's why you're so uptight all the time—too much exposure to coffee fumes. Or, more likely (and evidently), you're just an insanely busy person.  
He likes the coffee fumes theory better.  
"I guess not," he admits, then surprises even himself by adding, "that's kind of impressive, though."  
He gives you a genuine smile, and you blink back, as if searching for the hidden jab that's usually lurking beneath his words. But it's not there this time...oddly. Slowly, your expression softens, and you give him the tiniest of smiles. "Thanks? It's alright, I guess."  
It's nothing big—no, not at all—but Jay feels a weird sense of accomplishment at your reaction. Better than nothing. 
He leans in over the table, all faux-innocence—eyebrows raises, large puppy eyes and all. "Does this mean you can get me a free coffee?"  
You lean in too, mirroring him, and he's not sure why his heart skips a beat at the close proximity. 
"Yeah...no. Nice try."  
Jay groans, throwing himself back in his chair dramatically. Worth a shot.  
"Anyway," you continue, totally unfazed, "I usually work here until 5, then Mondays I have a study group for Econ 301, and club meetings scattered throughout the week."  
Jay's head spins for maybe the nth time since he's sat down. Honestly, you lost him way back at 'class until 1PM.' Your schedule is like some kind of twisted Sudoku puzzle, except much more intimidating.  
"So...you're, like, busy...all the time?" he asks, the words tumbling out of his mouth as his brain tries to process how anyone can function like this.  
You give him a look that almost convinces Jay himself that he's the crazy one here. "Yes, Jay. I am."  
"Wow, okay. So why did you even take this class? What happened to being committed? You don't even have time to breathe."  
You narrow your eyes, and he swears you're about to launch into some motivational TedTalk. "It's called efficiency, Jay. Also, I like to challenge myself. That's what parenthood is about, after all."
Jay stares at you like you've just self-declared yourself a cyborg.
"Oookayyy," he drawls, dragging out the word because, honestly, he's 99% sure you've completely lost it. The remaining 1%?  
It's slightly impressed by your sheer, terrifying level of commitment. He's over here winging life, including this conversation, while you've practically mapped out the rest of your entire existence. 
"Do you even, like, sleep? Or is that optional for you?"  
You shoot him an amused glance, half-joking, half-serious. "Sleep is for the weak."  
Jay raises an eyebrow. "Good to know I'm weak, then."  
You stifle a laugh, but Jay catches the brief twitch of your lips before you quickly compose yourself. He’s known you for so long, and yet, this might be the first time he’s seen even a hint of your guard slipping. It’s subtle, barely there, but he notices. And for some reason, it makes him smile. You’re always so put together, so serious—but this small crack in your armor? Jay can’t help but appreciate it.  
Maybe, just maybe, he could get you to soften up more if he tried hard enough. And yeah, he’s definitely going to try. 
But before he can try to tease you more, you snap back into business mode, instantly scribbling down more notes. "Alright, so let’s just split the baby's care based on my work schedule and your...nap schedule, apparently."  
Jay leans back in his chair, catching that flicker of amusement in your voice—despite the serious look on your face—and he fights the urge to push a little more. There's something about that side of you—not the one behind the cold wall you've built of color-coded schedules and deadlines—that he wants to see more of. Somehow.  
"Works for me,” he shrugs and grins at you, “but if the baby's anything like me, it'll nap a lot. You might have it easy."
"And if it’s anything like me,” you mutter, barely pausing, “then it’ll easily get annoyed by you.”
Jay catches the ghost of a smile on your face, barely noticeable unless you were looking for it—which he definitely is. It’s enough to keep him intrigued. He leans forward, resting his chin in his hand like he’s watching some fascinating show. 
You don’t notice him staring—or maybe you do, but you’re too busy pretending you don’t. Either way, there’s a small, almost imperceptible shift in your body language that Jay senses. Your shoulders aren’t as tense, and you don’t look like you’re mentally calculating how many minutes you have left before you can escape this meeting.
Jay decides to take advantage of the moment. “So…do you think our robot baby is also going to be a superhuman genius? Like in a you way?” 
You finally let out a laugh, to his surprise, and he feels so satisfied he has to bite his lip to hold back a smile. “Definitely, but also part crazy. Like in a you way.” 
Jay chuckles, mentally declaring this conversation a victory. Your laugh fades but for a split second, he catches you studying his face like you’re trying to figure out what his deal is. And he doesn’t mind it at all—because, for once, you’re not giving him the usual death glare that sometimes seems permanently reserved for him.
Then, just as he starts to settle into this very rare, almost… pleasant vibe between you two, you suddenly snap back to reality, capping your pen and standing up. 
Jay frowns as he watches as you turn towards the coffee bar, not ready for this conversation to end just yet.  
"Wait, where are you going?" he blurts out, sounding more tragic than intended. 
You pause, turning back with a knowing look that sends his pulse tripping.
"Do you want a free coffee or not?"  
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The following Monday, at exactly 9:55AM, you and Jay are handed your robot baby—Jisoo, as Jay somehow convinces you to name it after his favorite celebrity—at the end of your class.  
You didn't even try to put up a fight. The moment Jay's eyes lit up at the idea, you knew you'd already lost. After three whole minutes of bickering and one PowerPoint titled 'Why Our Baby Deserves to be Named After Star Quality,' you realized there was no saving it. He had arguments. He had fan chants memorized. For a robot baby. Your robot baby. 
"Admit it, Jisoo has star quality," Jay beams, proudly looking down at the robotic baby in the baby carrier that came with her.  
You look from Jisoo to Jay, then back to Jisoo, unimpressed. "It's a robot, Jay. Not your bias."  
Jay just shrugs, unbothered. "Bias or not, she deserves only the best."  
He glances down at the robot, which blinks its eyes open and closed with a soft whirring noise, its chubby plastic arms flopping lifelessly by its sides.  
There's a beat of silence as you both stare down at it, unsure of what to do next.  
"It's kind of creepy, right?" you finally mutter, breaking the knowing silence between you two.  
Jay snorts. "Not even 'kind of.' A lot." He leans in to inspect it, his brows furrowed, "So, does it just…sit there?”  
You huff, already pulling out the meticulously detailed notes you took during class. "No, it's on schedule. It says here it won't eat for another three hours and it has a clean diaper, so everything should be fine. Babies are predictable once you understand their needs, Jay."  
Jay lifts an eyebrow as he turns to face you, "Right...because in real life, babies are totally like robots and are totally predictable. Got it."  
You open your mouth to respond, probably with something unnecessarily snarky (you don't know what yet though, you haven't gotten to that part yet), when a loud, high-pitched wail shatters the air, cutting through the now-empty classroom you two are in. The robot baby's face contorts into an exaggerated crying expression, its mechanical arms flailing (which you didn't even know was possible) like it's preparing for takeoff. 
"What the—" Jay instinctively jumps back like Jisoo is a grenade on her last few seconds. "Why's it doing that? What did you do?"  
"I didn’t do anything!" You snap, panic slowly rising as you flip through your notes quickly. "It's not supposed to be crying! It shouldn't be hungry, and it's definitely not tired yet!"  
The wailing intensifies, vibrating through the room as the cries echo louder and louder, Jisoo clearly not caring about your carefully crafted timeline. You glance down at your schedule. Why is it crying?  
You groan and snatch Jisoo out of the carrier, awkwardly holding her in a way that's probably not safe for any life form, real or otherwise. The wailing doesn't stop. In fact, it gets louder, as if Jisoo's personally offended by your existence.  
"Hold her!" You quickly thrust her into Jay's arms, a horrified expression written all over his face. "You deal with it."  
"Deal with what? It's a robot!" Jay stares at the baby in his arms like it's going to explode. "Oh god, are we even sure this is safe?"  
"Yes, Jay! It's a baby!" You're sure you're borderline going insane from the combination of the screeching baby and Jay's apparent lack of brain cells.  
Jay's eyes widen as Jisoo practically vibrates with the force of its cries. He tries to mimic the way you were holding her, cradling her against his chest like she's made of glass. It doesn't help. Jisoo keeps wailing, and now Jay looks genuinely distressed. 
"Uh, shh, little buddy, it's okay...Should I, like, burp it? Sing to it?"  
“Sing?” You give him a look like he’s completely lost it, but Jay’s already humming off-key under his breath. 
The baby, predictably, continues screeching. 
You both just stand there, staring at the baby, then at each other, the panic palpable in the room. Jay continues bouncing it lightly, as if this will magically solve everything. “Does it have an off switch?” he asks, glancing at you like you've parented a robot baby before. 
You continue to frantically flip through your notes, pages rustling in a blur. “No, Jay! We can’t just turn off our baby!” 
“Well, I don’t know, Y/N, but I’m pretty sure babies aren’t supposed to sound like they’re summoning a demon,” Jay retorts, his tone climbing the ladder of panic. "Maybe she's hungry or something."  
You’re still too busy scanning your notes as you shake your head in disagreement. “It can’t be hungry, it's not supposed to be!"  
Jay just shakes his head, gently cradling the baby even though he's sure it's about to lift off into space from how much it was shaking right now. 
“Sometimes you can’t schedule everything, Y/N. Maybe it just needs a bottle, like, right now.” 
The idea frustrates you. “But it’s not time yet. If we feed it off-schedule, it’ll mess everything up for the day.” 
The baby’s cries reach a shrill pitch, like it’s protesting your protest. Jay looks at you, then back at the crying baby, then back at you again. 
“I think it’s already messed up, so maybe we just... feed it?” he says, half-grinning, half-exasperated. 
You hesitate. It feels wrong. Babies are supposed to follow patterns, stick to a routine...or so you thought. You let out a frustrated sigh, your brain bleeding from the sheer sound of the glass-breaking screams.  
“Fine,” you mutter, grabbing the bottle from the supply bag. “But if this throws off the whole schedule, it’s your fault.” 
Jay grins, but there’s something softer in his expression behind it as he watches you struggle with the bottle...and your need for control. “Deal.” 
You hand the bottle to him, and he places the nipple into the baby’s mouth. The wailing stops almost instantly. The sudden silence is deafening, and both of you are stunned for a moment, looking down at the baby who’s now peacefully drinking. 
You let out a small gasp of relief and turn your head up to look at Jay, who's widened eyes meet yours.  
Jay lets out a held breath. “Well. That was traumatic.” 
You roll your eyes, though there’s a slight twitch at the corner of your lips as you mutter, “I think I just lost three years of my life."  
Jay watches as you carefully take Jisoo from his arms and place her back into the carrier, making sure everything is in order. He’s still catching his breath, but he glances at you—relaxed, for once, after the panic—and it makes him feel something weird. He almost laughs. 
“I dunno,” he says, a little teasingly. “I think we handled that pretty well.” 
“Great, now just five weeks and six days of this left." You give him a look, but there’s a tiny, fleeting smile this time. "I just don't understand why it was crying. It's not supposed to need food until—"  
Jay cuts you off with a chuckle. “Y/N, it’s a baby. Real ones don’t run on algorithms. They just... cry when they need something. Like this little gal. I mean, you can't exactly schedule crying, right?” 
The silence stretches for a moment as you watch him, realization dawning a little slower than you’d like to admit. “I guess,” you mutter reluctantly, earning yourself a content-looking Jay.  
"Look at us—team effort," Jay says, as he beams a smile to you before glancing at Jisoo. "We're naturals at this whole parenting thing."  
"Yeah, okay," you roll your eyes, but the smile on your face says differently as you reach out to unnecessarily fuss with the small blanket in Jisoo's carrier.  
Jay's eyes light up at your response. "A smile? The Y/N gave me a smile? Admit it, we make a great team, huh?"  
You scoff, but the smile on your face proves there's no bite to it—Jay knows there's no bite to it.  
Maybe, just maybe, he has a point.  
You'd never admit it to him, though. 
Not yet.  
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To your pleasant surprise, the past two weeks have been...weirdly smooth. Like, suspiciously smooth. You and Jay have somehow managed to fall into an actual routine—dropping off and picking up Jisoo like two semi-functional adults who almost know what they’re doing. You still wouldn’t call it 'seamless', as Jay himself struggled with having a consistent schedule for once in his life, but at least you’ve gotten through the weeks without major incidents or spontaneous combustion. 
That doesn't mean you'll admit to anyone—least of all yourself—that you and Jay might actually make a decent team. His parenting methods are still objectively abysmal...to you, at least. I mean, just the other day, he almost put Jisoo's diaper on upside down. Upside down. You didn't even know that was possible, but leave it to Jay to surprise you more and more.  
Despite his questionable approach to baby care, Jisoo's still alive (you think), and somehow you've managed not to explode at him yet (key word: yet). So, that's...something, I guess.  
Today, though. Today is a different beast entirely.  
It's Sunday, and miraculously, you've managed to give yourself the evening off. No café shift, no emergency club meetings. The stars have aligned, and for once, you have free time. And what did you decide to do with this rare gift from the universe?  
Spent it with Jay. Parenting. Together. In his apartment.  
You blame Professor Kim for this cruel twist of fate. Something about submitting photographic evidence of co-parenting. After all, this is a partner project.  
Teamwork, she called it.  
You like to call it pure suffering.  
Which brings you here, standing outside Jay's apartment with a tote bag of baby supplies on one shoulder, Jisoo's carrier on the other, and a silent prayer on your lips. If this apartment is even half the disaster you're imagining—frat house, landfill, or some unholy combination of both—you're fully prepared to turn around and run for the hills.  
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for whatever horrors await behind the door, and knock three times.  
Precisely five seconds later, the door swings open, and...yep, there's Jay. His hair is a mess, his clothes are rumpled, and you can't tell if he's been a) napping, b) playing video games, or c) all of the above.  
"Hey," he greets you with a lazy grin, eyes half-lidded like he's still half-asleep.  
It's 6PM.  
You stare at him, deadpan. "You look like you've been hit by a truck."  
Jay snorts as he raises an eyebrow. "You should see the truck."  
Before you can fire back with something equally sarcastic, you catch a glimpse of his apartment over his shoulder, and—you blink, confused. Wait. Wait.  
Well this can't be right.  
You were expecting a disaster. Maybe a few pizza boxes, a stray sock on the floor, some suspicious stains on the couch. But no. Instead...it's clean. Like, really clean.  
The floors are spotless, there's a shelf with neatly stacked books, and are those...framed photos on the walls? Like, actual art? Your own apartment doesn't even have actual art, just print outs from Walgreens of photos you thought were cute on Pinterest and your Justin Bieber posters you got from a magazine back in high-school. Damn, now you're starting to feel ashamed.  
You do a double-take, your brain struggling to process what's happening, as Jay still stands in front of you, confused at your gawking. "Y/N? You good?"  
You snap your mouth shut, as you spot a vacuum neatly tucked in the corner of the living room. "I...I'm just surprised you even know what a vacuum is." 
"You'll learn I'm full of surprises, Miss Y/N," he says, casually leaning against the doorframe as he looks down at you, his gaze making you shift in your stance in front of him. "Come on in."  
You step inside cautiously, like you're waiting for something to jump out at you—maybe a camera with someone saying 'You've been pranked, this isn't Jay's actual apartment!'  
But nope. His apartment is just...nice. It smells like eucalyptus and citrus, for crying out loud.  
You set Jisoo's carrier down on the couch, the robot itself still fast asleep, as your eyes scan the room, still half-expecting to find a hidden mess somewhere. But instead, something else catches your attention.  
On the wall, next to his kitchen, there's a collection of professional-looking photographs, all framed neatly. This is what caught your eye earlier. You find yourself slowly walking closer to get a closer look: landscapes, city stresses, a few candid shots of people—all in the same style, same camera quality, same angles. You tilt your head, intrigued.
Jay comes up behind you to see what you're looking at and you turn to him, "Are these...yours?" 
"Oh," he scratches the back of his neck, looking almost shy. "Yeah. I do some photography sometimes. Just a hobby."  
You blink up at him. Jay Park? A photographer? This was not on your Jay Park Bingo card. 
"Huh," you say, before realizing how dumb you sound. "I didn't know you were into that."  
"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, Y/N. Full of surprises, remember?" Jay replies, his head tilting to match yours with a cocky smile, which—ugh, okay fine—makes you feel just the tiniest bit flustered. Not that you'll admit it.  
"Oh, really?" You raise an eyebrow. "And here I thought your only hobbies were napping and showing up late." 
"That's just the surface level," he says with a wink, walking over to his coffee table and grabbing his laptop. "I was actually editing photos before you showed up." 
Intrigued, you follow him to the couch and sit beside him as he flips open the laptop. You squint at the editing software on the screen—full of layers, sliders, and all sorts of professional-looking tools that immediately make your head hurt. Jay scrolls through the images, and honestly?
They’re good. Really good. Like, if you didn’t know better, you’d think some of them could be in a magazine. And not the kind of magazine you got your Bieber Fever posters in.  
"Wow," you say, nodding, genuinely impressed. "That’s… actually really cool." 
Jay freezes, his head snapping toward you with a look of disbelief. He stares at you, eyes narrowing like you’ve just broken some unspoken rule. "It's been ten seconds...you just gave me an actual compliment without a sarcastic follow-up."  
You let out a small giggle. "Geez, you always make me sound like some soulless witch or something."  
Jay grins, leaning back in mock thought. "I mean… soulless witch might be a bit much. But, like… emotionally unavailable overlord? Maybe." 
You burst out laughing before you can stop yourself, the sound catching Jay off guard. He looks at you, wide-eyed, like he’s just witnessed a rare phenomenon. And maybe he has—because even you can’t remember the last time you laughed this freely.  
"Wow. I should annoy you more often," Jay smirks, clearly way too satisfied with himself. You’re not entirely sure if he meant it to sound that smooth, but your brain certainly processed it that way. Heat rises to your cheeks before you can stop it, and you quickly clear your throat, a small, flustered smile playing at your lips. 
You try to gather yourself, praying your voice doesn’t betray you. "Don’t push your luck, Park," you manage, but the teasing edge in your voice is softer than usual—way softer. And, of course, Jay knows it. You know it. You’re still smiling, and—unfortunately for you—so is he. 
Jay suddenly clears his throat as he shifts in his seat, "So...should we order like a pizza or something? Are you hungry?"  
And because the universe apparently has a personal vendetta against you, your stomach chooses that exact moment to let out a sound—one that resembles between a whale’s mating call and a frog being strangled. 
Jay stifles a laugh, trying to act casual but failing miserably. "Okay… pizza it is." 
“Shut up,” you mutter, giving him a playful shove that’s just enough to make him fall back into the couch cushions. 
"No, you tell your stomach to shut up," Jay snickers, grabbing his phone to place the order. 
You’re about to fire back with something—anything—but a soft wail interrupts you from the baby carrier. 
"Someone needs attention," you say, scooping Jisoo up and cradling her in your arms. “It’s about time for her to eat anyway.” 
As you juggle Jisoo with one hand and dig through the baby bag for her fake bottle of milk with the other, Jay watches you from his spot on the couch, a curious look in his eyes. “While you feed her, I’ll take care of the pizza. I’m guessing you’re more of a plain cheese type, huh?” 
You freeze for a second, then whip your head around to give him a mock-offended look. “First, you think I’m a soulless witch, and now boring? I at least add pepperoni and sausage. Give me some credit.” 
"Okay, okay, noted," Jay lifts his hands up in surrender, "So adventurous. I'll remember that next time you call me irresponsible."  
You roll your eyes at him as you adjust Jisoo in your arms, holding the bottle steady at her mouth. It’s quiet for a few moments, the only sounds being the soft hum of your fake baby and Jay tapping on his phone. 
Suddenly Jay puts his phone down, turning to you with an unreadable expression. “You’re really serious about this whole parenting thing, huh?” 
You blink, still rocking Jisoo in your arms.  You're thrown off by the sudden shift and sincerity in his tone.  
“Well… yeah. I think it’s important, you know? Responsibility, structure… that’s what makes people feel safe. Especially kids. They need to know they’re taken care of.” 
Jay’s expression shifts as he listens, a more thoughtful look settling on his face. “You're a strong believer of that, aren't you? Structure and schedules and all that?"  
His voice is a lot quieter now, lower, and you realize you've never really had a serious conversation (that wasn't a class debate) with him before—at least not long enough to hear this version of Jay. The serious Jay. And if you're being honest, it's making you a bit flustered. You hesitate, hoping your voice doesn't crack or something equally embarrassing.  
“I mean… I guess so. I was raised that way. My parents always had everything planned out. It was like...nothing ever went wrong because there was always a system, a backup plan.” 
Jay raises an eyebrow, leaning forward a little in his seat. “But didn’t that feel, I don’t know... suffocating? Like, what if things don’t go according to plan? You can’t control everything.” 
Your first instinct is to scoff, but something stops you. It's a valid question, and for some reason, you don’t feel the need to throw up your usual defenses for once. That's new.  
“Maybe sometimes,” you admit. “But I don’t know any other way. It just feels like if you’re not prepared, things fall apart. And that’s the worst feeling—like watching everything crumble because you weren’t ready for it.” 
Jay is quiet, studying you with an intensity that feels new. His teasing smirk is gone, replaced with something more serious. “Yeah, I get that. I didn’t have a lot of structure growing up. Parents were kinda… there, but not really. I think that’s why I don’t plan much. Life happens whether you’re ready or not.” 
You blink as you sit back in your seat, absorbing his words. It’s the first time you’ve really thought about Jay outside of his 'laid-back' image of him you've had in your head, and honestly, you’re surprised by how heavy his words feel. 
“But…you’re actually good with Jisoo,” you say, almost cautiously, unsure if you’re diving into uncharted territory. “You’ve been handling this project better than I thought you would.” 
Jay laughs softly, shaking his head as he looks at Jisoo in your arms. “It’s just a robot baby, Y/N. No big deal if I mess up.” 
"It’s not just about the robot baby,” you counter, realizing you're saying more than you intended. “You actually care. You’re not graded on how well you change diapers or keep her entertained, but you’re still putting in effort. You’re trying. And that matters.” 
There's a beat of silence as you see Jay pause. For once, he doesn't have a comeback. Instead, he's just looking at you—really looking at you—like he's trying to figure something out, and you feel the heat slowly creeping back onto your face. You're sure you're turning an unflattering shade of red under his gaze on you, and part of you, no, all of you, is begging for him to say something immediately before you combust.  
Then, with a suddenness that almost makes you jump, he leans over and nudges your arm lightly. “Okay, Dr. Phil. Don't go getting all soft on me now."  
You let out a playful scoff to mask your relief, thankful for the release of tension in the air. But something about the conversation lingers in the air, hanging like a question neither of you is ready to ask. And despite the teasing, your mind can’t help but circle back to how Jay had looked at you—serious, curious… something else. 
Before you can dwell on it too long, the doorbell rings. Saved by the pizza gods. Jay springs up from the couch to answer the door, and you gently place the now-snoozing Jisoo back in her carrier. The conversation still swirls in your head as you watch Jay grab the pizza, too caught up in your thoughts to not even question how suspiciously fast it arrived. 
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, watching Jay at the door from your spot on the couch, your thoughts too heavy for someone who is literally holding a pizza box. 
For someone who sure likes to plan everything out, you definitely weren’t prepared for Jay Park—and how he's quickly becoming the exception to every rule you've ever made. 
✭・.・✫
The first thing that jars you awake is a piercing scream—Jisoo's, of course. Your eyes shoot open as you squint into the dim light, your eyes adjusting and blinking your way out of the accidental nap you fell into. You're trying to make sense of your surroundings through your blurry vision when...it hits you.  
This isn't your room. You're still at Jay's apartment, wedged into the corner of his couch, and apparently, you fell asleep. Post-pizza-food-coma style. And also apparently, your mutual robot child has decided now was a perfect time for a meltdown.  
The second thing you notice is the faint background noise of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire still playing on Jay's TV in front of you. Your memory jogs back to when you two finally came to a consensus on which movie to watch over dinner, and naturally, the deciding factor ended up being 'young Robert Pattinson,' and no, it wasn't your deciding factor. You didn't expect Jay to even have an opinion on this, but apparently, his love for Cedric Diggory is a hill he's willing to die on.  
And then... that brings us to the third thing. A sound from the other end of the couch—Jay's soft snores. You two must have dozed off at some point during the movie somehow and of course, he's still passed out cold, totally oblivious to the screams of robotic despair coming from the baby carrier seated between you two. You glance over at him, out cold with his head tilted back, looking completely unbothered by Jisoo's increasingly offended screams.  
But even through all these realizations, what really slaps you awake, more than Jisoo or Jay or Cedric Diggory, is the smell. It hits you like a rogue sock to the face, and for a moment, you're convinced that Jay definitely has some biological-grade garbage decomposing somewhere in the apartment after all. The smell is like a powerful, radioactive wave, and all you can think is, What in the world is this guy hiding in here? And why is it now coming to life?  
You sit up from your spot, still half-asleep, and follow the foul scent in horror until you realize the source.  
Jisoo.  
Sure, you have changed Jisoo's diapers plenty of times over the last two weeks, but before? There was no smell. At most, you get these weird, vaguely sticky robotic poops in her diaper that barely registered. Now? Now it’s like Professor Kim somehow remotely gave Jisoo a software update and coded her to emit a scent so pungent that it feels borderline illegal. You're convinced this is Jisoo’s final boss form–peak realism unlocked–solely just to spite you and your nostrils.
While you’re here on one end of the couch, one button away from confirming an Amazon Prime order to ship over a bottle of bleach for you to dip your nose into, Jay is still in blissful dreamland, not even flinching. You stare at him in disbelief, hoping your sheer mental outage might magically wake him up. No such luck. 
You grab the throw pillow that's wedged under you and chuck in right at his face.  
"Jay!" You're still half-asleep, so your voice comes out like a strangled whisper, somewhere between pleading and passive-aggressive murder.  
Jay jolts, sitting up with a sleepy yelp, blinking in confusion. "Huh? What happened? Is Cedric okay?" His panicked gaze darts around the room wildly before they finally settle on you, across the couch. 
"What happened?" You raise a finger to the screaming, stinky, betrayal-machine between you two. "That happened, Jay. Jisoo happened."  
Jay blinks slowly, squinting at Jisoo, his brain clearly struggling to boot up, and then makes the fatal mistake of sniffing the air. The realization suddenly dawns slowly, and you can see the look of horror hit.
"Oh my god, how is she even capable of...of that?!" His voice breaks three octaves as his hand shoots up to pinch his nose.  
"I don't know!" You squawk, equally traumatized. "She's never done this before—I didn't even know she could!"  
Jay groans and rubs his eyes, hoping this is all a bad, bad dream. No such luck, yet again. He glances around helplessly. "So, uh, who's changing her?"  
You shoot him a glare as you get up from the couch and start looking for the baby bag. "We're changing her, Jay."  
"We?" Jay winces, inching towards Jisoo with all the enthusiasm one has when approaching a radioactive waste barrel. He slowly reaches down to take Jisoo out from the carrier and he starts muttering to himself. "Great. Fine, this is fine. Just another bonding moment with our adorable robo-daughter."  
He finally picks her up, reluctantly holding her at arm's length like she's a ticking time bomb. It's so ridiculous that, despite the war-crime-level smell permeating the room, you can't help the small laugh that you let out.  
"What?" Jay glares at you, though a look of amusement tugs at his lips. "You think this is funny?"  
"No," you say, barely stifling your giggles. "It's just—you're holding her like she's about to explode."  
Jay gives you a doubtful look. "Y/N, I'm not convinced she's not about to explode."  
You shake your head, still giggling as you shuffle the carrier off the couch and lay out a blanket, turning Jay's couch surface into a makeshift changing station. "Alright, c'mon. Lay her down and hold her legs up. I'll handle clean-up duty. And maybe...brace yourself."  
Jay exhales like a man about to face his greatest fear. He gently lays Jisoo down and lifts her legs up with the tips of his fingers, his face still contorted as if you're both dealing with a toxic hazard. At this point, it probably is.  
"Oh my god," he breathes. "This is it. This is how I die."  
You crouch down in position so you're at level with the couch and say a mental prayer before you pull open the tiny diaper. The moment you do, the both of you immediately recoil as a scent that should not even be allowed to exist wafts up and fills the room.  
“Oh god.” 
The scent is so ungodly it feels like it came from the depths of hell itself and punched you both right in the face. It doesn’t just waft up–it attacks. You’re pretty sure you lost at least another three years off your life from one breath alone. 
"That's not legal," Jay chokes as he flings himself back at the sight, dropping Jisoo’s little toes in the process, flailing around as if the air itself betrayed him. "There's no way that's legal." 
You freeze in sheer horror, staring at the scene before you: Jisoo’s somehow realistic poop smeared across every surface of her bottom it possibly could spread to, the stench intensifying with every passing second.
Jay starts pacing the room, spiraling into an existential crisis. “No, no, no, this isn’t normal. This is—this is a crime scene! This can’t be right.” 
“Jay,” your voice is muffled as a hand tries to cover both your nose and mouth from the contaminated air, “focus!” 
Jay looks at you from across the living room, wide-eyed and pale, like a deer caught in headlights. “You expect me to—in this economy—” 
“Grab. The. Wipes.”
Jay groans and he stumbles back towards you, hesitantly rifling through the baby bag. His hands finally find the pack of wipes and he peers over your shoulder from behind you, as if you’re his shield. 
“Are you just gonna stand there, or are you going to help?”
“I am helping,” Jay protests weakly, waving the pack of wipes like they’re a magic wand that might save you both.
You roll your eyes and turn back to Jisoo, “Okay, grab her legs again. I’ll wipe.” 
His eyes watch in horror as he reaches over you to take hold of the robot’s feet. With a deep breath, you start furiously scrubbing Jisoo’s little body, trying your best to breathe as minimally as possible, sticking your hand out towards Jay whenever you need a new wipe. 
“I signed up for fake parenting, not surviving a biohazard. This isn’t bonding; this is trauma,” Jay incoherently mumbles, placing a wipe in your hand. 
"I think this trauma is exactly what we're supposed to be learning and 'bonding' from," you retort, carefully tossing a soiled wipe into the designated waste bag.  
"Oh, so Professor Kim is forcing us to bond over mutual suffering? Very sweet," Jay deadpans as he hands you another wipe. 
"Exactly. Parenting at its finest."  
Finally, after you definitely lost three years of your life, the horror show is over. Jisoo is cleaned, diapered, and—somehow—actually looks peaceful for once. Like she didn't just commit a crime against humanity. 
Jay exhales, looking at her with a newfound joy. "Well. She's definitely...less terrifying when she's not screaming and emitting toxic fumes."  
You plop yourself on the couch and cradle Jisoo like she's a tiny, innocent angel instead of the cause of your collective suffering. “I’m genuinely afraid to know what they put in her system for this to happen.” 
Jay collapses onto the couch beside you, visibly relieved. "Whatever it was, we did it. We survived. We did that." 
You can't help but laugh, still a bit punch-drunk from the adrenaline and exhaustion of it all. "We better get an A+ on this project."  
Jay chuckles, leaning his head back against the couch. The room falls into a brief silence, just the two of you sitting there, basking in the weird accomplishment of it all. Then, as if on cue, you both start laughing—a deep, exhausting kind of laugh that two people only share after a 'you had to be there' type moment. There's something about the whole ordeal—how ridiculous, how hilariously awful it was—that just makes it impossible to not laugh.  
Jay grins, nudging your shoulder with his. "Now do you think we make a pretty good team?"  
You roll your eyes at him. "I don't know...depends."  
Jay raises an eyebrow, "Depends on what?"  
"Depends on whether you can make it through the rest of the project without crying again," you quip, lips twitching into an amused grin.  
Jay gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. "Excuse you, I did not cry. My eyes were sweating from Jisoo's toxic fumes. A completely normal biological response, thank you very much."  
"Sure, Jay," you deadpan, shaking your head.  
"Besides," he continues, leaning back smugly, "I did all the heavy lifting. Literally. I held the live grenade."  
You snort, glancing down at Jisoo in your arms before handing her off to Jay. "You're unbelievable."  
"And you're stuck with me, partner," he grins back, rocking Jisoo in his arms. "You too, Jisoo." 
You lean back into the couch, watching Jay coo at the now-peaceful baby. Somewhere between his flair for over-the-top dramatics, his secret love for young Robert Pattinson, and (for some reason) endearing passion for photography, you realize…maybe Jay Park isn’t the complete disaster you thought he was. 
"Yeah," you murmur, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I guess I really am stuck with you."  
And for the first time since this ridiculous project started, you don't mind that as much as you thought you would.  
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Jay would like to make a few things clear. 
First of all, none of this is his fault. 
He hopes you understand that, as his thumbs fly over the keyboard of his phone like his life depends on it. Because in a way, it does. 
Jay [11:32 AM]: “i swear it’s not my fault, but my friend, jake, his entire load of laundry is now the color of strawberry milk. and apparently i’m the only one that can help him. can I drop jisoo off with you for like… an hour? tops?” 
He stares at his phone, waiting for your response like you hold the key to his survival. Because, in a way, you do. 
He hears Jisoo coo from her carrier, like even she knows how dire this situation is. Finally, his phone lights up with a buzz. 
Y/N [11:33 AM]: “i’m volunteering at a dog adoption event on campus, but sure, drop her off here :)” 
Jay blinks at his phone. A dog adoption event. Of course, you'd be saving puppies on a Saturday. Of course. Like some kind of unreasonably perfect human. And here he is, about to save a fully grown man from having to wear solely pink t-shirts for the next week. Fantastic.   
With a sigh, Jay turns to Jisoo, who blinks back a stare that can only be described as the (robot) baby equivalent of good luck, bro. 
By the time Jay reaches campus, he's bombarded with the sight and sound of...dogs. Dogs everywhere. It's as if he's entered the chaotic lovechild of a Disney movie and a petting zoo, complete with wags, barks, and the smell of kibble. And then he sees you. 
You're smack in the middle of a fenced playpen, laughing, surrounded by every breed of fluffy chaos imaginable and passerbys cooing 'aww' at the sight. And what a sight it is.  
You look ridiculously happy, and for some reason, that makes something in Jay's chest feel weirdly tight. He wonders what it must feel like to be able to make you smile that widely, that brightly. It's unnerving. He's not used to seeing you so relaxed, so content—or maybe he's just not used to noticing how good you look when you're not glaring at him.  
"Y/N!" a voice calls from the volunteer tent, snapping Jay out of his daydream. Jay watches from the distance as you haul a golden retriever pup into your arms and walk over to the tent, naturally falling into conversation with your friend and immediately organizing papers. Meanwhile, Jay stands there, dumbfounded at your unbothered, graceful rhythm that you seem to fall into like second nature. 
Jay thought he had you figured out, filed neatly in his mental drawer of uptight-control-freaks-that-happen-to-smell-like-roses-and-have-perfect-smiles, but now? Something about the way you look right now—so confident, so caring, so...natural—catches him off guard.
Now, you're like some serene multitasking goddess in the middle of pure chaos.  
That brings us to the second thing Jay would like to clarify (more so to himself): he definitely doesn't think you look good in, like, an attractive sense, or anything insane like that. Absolutely not. He just is simply impressed at how you seem to manage and carry yourself quite elegantly. This is pure admiration. Admiration, okay?  
But...while he's here, staring in 'admiration', it suddenly hits him—you're not just good at taking care of Jisoo. You're good at taking care of everything.  
And that makes his heart do a weird flip.  
The realization that he's been staring for way too long jolts him back to the present. Focus, Jay. There's a Jake somewhere out there, lost in a sea of pink underwear.  
Jisoo carrier in hand, Jay manages to push his way through the dog-packed crowds until he reaches you, but the second you turn around, flashing him that wide, carefree smile that he's still not used to, he's back to stumbling over himself.  
He’s 99% sure he audibly gulps. 
“Oh, Jay, you made it!” you say, shifting the puppy to one side of your arms to free a hand to grab Jisoo's carrier immediately. Your smile is disarmingly genuine. Jay thinks he may need to sit down.  
“Uh, yeah—um, thanks for taking Jisoo," he swallows, his voice barely steady as he's unsure what this feeling is that came over him. He doesn't know if it's the fact that he's seeing you in a completely different light right now, carrying both a live, adorable puppy, and a (not-so-live) baby, but something is different, and he's at a loss for words. "You look pretty—uh…busy.”  
He curses himself. Busy? Really? 
“Oh, no biggie,” you give him an easy, encouraging grin, one so casual that it really shouldn't make his knees feel like Jell-O. "Honestly, I'd be out here every weekend if I could. But you of all people know my schedule."  
Of course, you'd say something like that. Jay tries to think of a normal response, but his brain is spinning with all sorts of not-normal things about you—like how you look so aggressively pretty right now. 
And it’s a little infuriating. 
"Yeah, no, totally," Jay clears his throat, scratching the back of his head. "Because who doesn't want to be covered in dog hair and slobber for fun?"  
You roll your eyes, smiling. "Says the guy who's about to be knee-deep in a laundry crisis. Isn't that a little messy, too?"  
Jay huffs, feeling himself return just a little bit back to normal. “Listen, Jake’s a special case, okay? You can’t just leave him in that pink laundry disaster and expect him to survive.” 
"Right..," you laugh, rocking back and forth on your feet, your smile lingering as a comfortable silence falls between you.  
Maybe it's the way you're looking up at him, or the fact that a literal golden retriever is currently nuzzled into your neck, but Jay is doing everything in his power to keep his cool. You're looking at him in a way that isn't remotely judgmental (for once), and it's throwing him completely off-balance.  
Before Jay can pull it together and say something else, another voice calls your name, waving you over to a different table. You turn back to Jay, giving him an apologetic glance.  
"Do you mind watching Jisoo—and, um, this puppy—for a sec?"  
Before he can answer, or even process your words, he's standing there with an actual puppy in one arm, and Jisoo in her carrier in the other, and his life has become a circus he never auditioned for.  
"Sorry! They just need me real quick!" You say with a grateful smile as you hurry off.  
As you rush off with another apologetic smile, Jay's brain, for better or for worse, decides that grin of yours is now his mental screensaver. He watches you go, dumbly smiling before he catches himself. 
Not attraction, he reminds himself. Totally not attraction.  
He looks down at his arms—one occupied by a carrier with a robot baby, the other holding a wriggly puppy.  
"Bet no one's ever been in this situation before," he mutters, awkwardly standing there as he waits for your return. Honestly, Jay has never felt so awkward or nervous before. Right now, he feels like the epitome of the standing emoji, just simply existing and there, waiting for your next command and hoping he doesn't screw it up.  
Jay tries to hype himself up. You can do this, Park. It's just a dog. And a baby. And you.You've got this. You totally having everything und— 
Before he can finish his mental pep talk, the sound of your laughter rings from across the event, making Jay's head snap over in record time. He tries not to look—he really does—but the sound is too angelic to not. But right when he does look over, he immediately wishes he didn't. 
You're standing there between two of your friends, and you're giggling. With some guy he's never seen before. And this guy, is nudging your shoulder and making you laugh so hard you're practically doubling over. He feels a distinct twist in his chest. 
Jay’s definitely not jealous. Nope. Not even a little. It's just...curiosity. Pure, innocent curiosity about what that guy could possibly be saying to make you laugh so hard. Because Jay has never seen you laugh like that with him—ever.
And suddenly, the longer you continue laughing with that guy, Jay feels something hot and uncomfortable bubbling up inside.  
Fine, it’s jealousy.  
Definitely jealousy. He scowls at himself. Now he’s basically a bitter standing emoji, clinging to Jisoo and a puppy while glaring from afar. 
And there Jay stands, bitterness levels maxed, holding both a puppy and a robot baby, while across the way, your roommate Esther gives you a knowing smirk while you're recovering from your giggling fit. Your giggling fit which was caused by Heeseung making a comment about how he stepped in dog poop more times than the average human-being accidentally should.  
“You didn’t tell me that was Jay Park,” Esther says, trying not-so-subtly to sneak a glance at the bitter standing emoji himself, awkwardly shifting his feet in the distance, avoiding to look in your direction. “You said he was annoying, lazy, and a pain to be around. You didn’t mention he’s a total cutie.” 
“He was annoying, lazy, and a pain to be around,” you scoff, though you're clearly not thinking that right now as you catch a glance of him trying to balance both the puppy and Jisoo. "But...I don't think he's so bad anymore."  
You definitely don't add that he's a total cutie. Okay, maybe you think it, but saying it out loud is a whole other thing.  
“Oh, so you totally like him,” Heeseung snickers from your other side, nudging you again.  
You make a sound that's half out-of-tune trumpet, half hiccup, before breaking into a laugh to cover your sudden panic. "No, I don't!" You clear your throat, trying to stay cool.  
"We're just—look, we're just stuck together for this project. That's all. Even if I did like him, which I don't, he definitely doesn't like me back. We're probably just going to go back to bickering with each other to no end."  
“Right,” Heeseung chimes in, giving you a look that says he's clearly unconvinced. “Just saying, though—someone who doesn’t like you wouldn’t be staring at you like that, and looking at me like I just committed a third-degree crime just for breathing in your direction."  
You follow Heeseung’s gaze and, sure enough, you catch Jay trying to look casual while bouncing the puppy and acting like he totally didn’t just get caught. Your eyes meet, and he does a 180 so fast he nearly launches Jisoo into orbit. 
You quickly turn back to your friends, heat rising to your face as you catch Esther and Heeseung giving each other a knowing look before smirking at you. You roll your eyes and grab the both of them by the back of their shirts, turning them in the direction of the event, "Okay, okay, enough with the delusions. Shouldn't you guys be signing off some puppies or something?"  
"Don't say we didn't tell you so!" Esther calls after you as you turn on your heels towards Jay, furiously convincing yourself that they're so wrong.  
There's no universe in which Jay Park, the Jay Park, would ever be into you. The Jay Park, who can get any girl he wants, the Jay Park who's just too different from you, the Jay Park who you proclaimed your school rival (self-proclaimed). Absolutely not.  
When you get back to him, Jay’s desperately trying to look natural—so, naturally, he’s scratching the puppy’s belly while Jisoo clings to his chest like a tiny koala. Your heart gives a little traitorous squeeze, but you ignore it. Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.  
“Looks like he likes you,” you say, trying to sound casual as you nod to the puppy, who's squirming excitedly under Jay's attention. 
“He’s adorable,” Jay replies, blushing faintly as he shifts the puppy around. “So, uh, everything okay over there?” he asks, totally not imagining a deep, romantic conversation to explain your laughter. 
You’re caught off-guard, blinking, wondering if Jay somehow became psychic and caught onto your previous train of thoughts about him, until you realize what he meant. “Oh! Yeah, they just… needed help with paperwork.” 
Jay’s expression hardens ever so slightly as he tries to imagine a world where paperwork could possibly be that funny. “Cool, cool,” he nods stiffly, side-eyeing Heeseung in the distance who’s still chatting with Esther. 
"Well," Jay shifts awkwardly as clears his throat, "I should get going to Jake. He's probably in tears by now, honestly."  
You frown at that, and Jay instantly self-identifies himself as the worst person on the planet. He barely resists the urge to apologize for everything he's ever done, from breathing in your direction to any other crime against humanity he's committed in your eyes.  
"Aw, come on," you say, teasingly, though even you're not sure why. It's just...fun having him around. "Stay a little longer. For the puppies!"  
Jay opens his mouth, fully ready to decline when he catches sight of your expression—those big, pleading eyes that make it impossible to say no. 
And that's it. He's doomed. Right then and there, Jay knows he's doomed.  
Is Jay currently surrounded by more puppies than he ever thought could physically exist in one place? Yes. 
Does he think your puppy eyes are somehow cuter than all the puppies combined? Annoyingly, also yes.  
And so, Jay would like to make some new things clear, for the record:  
First, there is no way any of this is his fault. If Jake ends up crying over outfit choices and demands to know why Jay ditched him for puppies, Jay has a rock-solid explanation. He’ll explain the situation, which obviously couldn’t be helped. Hanging out with you? Totally justified. Perfectly valid.  
And second, well—Jay would like to clarify that it's official now. Whatever he was feeling before? Yeah, definitely attraction.  
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Your fingers drum against your blanket. You stare blankly at your bedroom ceiling. You let out another deep sigh. You toss and turn, adjusting your position for maybe the hundredth time. It's no use. You're bored.  
And that, in itself, is a shocking revelation. You're never bored. Your schedule is usually packed to the brim—between assignments, club meetings, work shifts, and impromptu Save the Puppies campaigns, there's hardly room for boredom. But today?  
Today, life has gifted you a rare stretch of free time. No assignments to finish, no midterms to study for, no dog adoption events or café shifts. And apparently, you have no idea how to handle that.  
You turn to look at Jisoo, who's chilling in her spot on your bed next to you, not having a single ounce of consciousness for you to share your boredom with.  
With another sigh, you grab your phone and scroll aimlessly through your apps. You eventually land in your Photos app and swipe through mindlessly until a recent picture stops you in your tracks.  
It's a selfie Jay took of the two of you, Jisoo sandwiched between your faces. The infamous day of the pizza-night-turned-accidental-nap-turned-godforsaken-poop-incident. You'd submitted the photo to Professor Kim as proof of your co-parenting efforts, but now, looking at it again, you can't help but smile.  
It's strange. The memory should be traumatic—okay, it is traumatic—but in hindsight, it's also...kind of fun. The chaos, the banter, the way Jay somehow managed to make everything feel less overwhelming just by being there.  
Funny enough, that day was also the last time you remember having any sort of free time, and you remember complaining that you had to spend the day with Jay of all people. But now, looking back at it, you honestly did have fun. Being with Jay was...fun.  
Your thumb hovers over the screen for a moment before it unconsciously drifts towards the Phone app. You hesitate, realizing with a jolt that you're one tap away from calling Jay. It's like your brain suddenly shut off and something took over you. What's gotten into you?  
You blink at Jay's contact on your phone, your thumb still hovering over his name.  
No. Bad idea.  
You don't need Jay to entertain you just because you're bored. You're perfectly capable of having fun on your own...obviously. Obviously, even though the last hour of groaning and ceiling-staring suggests otherwise.  
Besides, Jay's probably busy doing...whatever it is Jay does at 4PM on a Saturday. Napping, probably.  
And what would you even say? Let's hang out? Like some middle schooler asking out their crush? Not to mention, you already have your 'Jisoo' plans in two days, so it's not like you have an excuse to see him.  
You sit up abruptly, shaking your head as if to clear the fog of ridiculous thoughts. Seriously, do you even hear yourself right now? Looking for an excuse to see him? Since when did you need excuses for anything, let alone something as absurd as spending more time than necessary with Jay Park?  
This has to be some kind of stress-induced meltdown. It's the only logical explanation. All those late-night study sessions, midterm panic attacks, Jisoo diaper changes, and endless extracurriculars must've finally fried your brain. And now, here you are, teetering on the edge of reason, actually wanting to see Jay Park.  
Great. Now you have a new problem.  
Because as much as you try to convince yourself otherwise, the truth is glaringly obvious: you want to see him. And that, more than any amount of free time or boredom, is the real problem. 
You've officially lost it.  
I've officially lost it, you chant in your head as your thumb hovers dangerously close to Jay's name on your screen again.  
I've officially lost it, the words grow louder, taunting you, as you hover over the call button. 
I've officially lost it, your thoughts scream as you give in, pressing down and watching in horror as your screen shifts to Calling Jay Park. 
And now, your heartbeat picks up with every ring. You can't decide what's worse—him answering or him ignoring the call. Maybe if he doesn't pick up, it'll be a sign from above that you're better off leaving his madness alone. Maybe—
"Hello?"  
Your train of thought screeches to a halt.  
"Y/N? Are you there?"  
"I'm here!" You blurt out, your voice jumping two octaves higher than usual. Real smooth, Y/N.  
"Hi...what's up? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" His voice is soft over the phone, a little concerned, like you're about to tell him Jisoo had another diaper emergency.  
You falter for a moment, staring at the ceiling like the answer might be written there. "No! Nothing's wrong! I just—uh–" Quick, think of something normal!
"I was wondering what you're up to."  
"Me?" He sounds genuinely surprised, and you can practically hear the smile in this voice. At least, you think. Or, once again, you've officially lost it. "I'm at the campus gallery, setting up for my photography showcase. It's tonight."  
The campus gallery. His photography.  
You blink, this is news to you. You vaguely remember Jay asking if you could watch Jisoo tonight, and he hadn't given you a reason back then, but this is why he couldn't be on Jisoo duty today. Because of his showcase.  
"Wait, really?" You ask, hoping the interest in your voice doesn't show too much.  
"Yeah. I didn't mention it? Guess I forgot," he chuckles lightly. "It's not a big deal, just a student showcase. I'm just setting up now, making sure my pieces are hung straight and stuff."  
You swallow, a sudden wave of curiosity washing over you. You find yourself smiling to yourself, feeling a wave of endearment wash over you for some reason. The idea of Jay being completely focused and serious about a passion of his is...it's nice. It’s hard to reconcile the carefree, sarcastic guy you know with the thoughtful perspective he must have to capture the kinds of photos he does. 
"You should come by," he says suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. His voice is casual, but you think you catch a small, hopeful note in it. "If you're free, I mean. No pressure."  
You hesitate, your mind racing. Go? Don't go? It's just a showcase. It's not like it means anything. Right?  
"I'll think about it," you manage, trying to sound nonchalant.  
"Cool." There's a smile in his voice again. "Let me know. I'll save you a front-row seat."  
"Front row seat? For a gallery?" You deadpan, rolling your eyes as if he can see if over the phone.  
"Hey, I'm just being a good host."  
"Hmmm," you smile to yourself again. "Maybe. We'll see."  
But your decision was made the second he suggested that you should come. 
It doesn't mean anything. Friends come support each other all the time, right? Wait—
Are you and Jay even friends? You shake your head, trying to dismiss the warmth starting to spread in your chest.  
It's just photography.
It's just Jay.
Nothing to overthink here.  
✭・.・✫
“Okay, Jisoo, in and out,” you whisper to the robot baby in the carrier that's perched in your arms as you stand frozen outside the campus gallery doors. "We're just stopping by to say hi. Two minutes max. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Nothing dramatic."  
Jisoo stares back at you, wide-eyed and unhelpfully silent, which you take as strong moral support. "Thanks, Jisoo," you mutter, like a lunatic seeking validation from a robot.  
Maybe you shouldn't even go in. It's basically the end of the event anyway—what are the odds he'd even notice you didn't show? Slim. Probably. Right?  
It's not like you didn't have a valid excuse for your lateness. You did have to change Jisoo’s diaper before you left, and that was a whole thing. But let's be real. 
The real delay? The real delay was you standing in front of your closet for a solid half hour like a contestant on America's Next Top Existential Crisis. What do you even wear to casually drop by someone's photography showcase? Something that says, Hey, I'm effortlessly supportive, but I totally don't care if you notice me (yes I do).  
Spoiler alert: that outfit does not exist.  
And then—because clearly, you love to torture yourself—you spent another thirty minutes pacing around your room trying to figure out why you cared so much in the first place.  
It's Jay. Jay. The guy who thought sticking googly eyes on Jisoo's bottle would make her drink faster. Why are you stressed? Why are your palms sweating?  
But despite all that, you somehow made it here, standing outside the gallery with your stomach doing flips like you're about to walk into your own trial. You made it all the way here, so might as well go in, right?  
You swallow hard, adjust your grip on your emotional support robot baby, and push the door open. 
And there he is.  
Center stage, right where he belongs—or at least where he seems to thrive. Standing in front of a massive wall of his framed photographs, the studio lights catch his profile just right. It's almost unfair, like he's been personally photoshopped by the gods themselves. He's surrounded by a small crowd, gesturing animatedly with his hands as he speaks, his smile so bright you're convinced it's starting to hurt your eyes.  
But his eyes? There's this sparkle in them. Not the usual playful glint you've grown used to, but something deeper, softer. You've never seen him look so alive, so utterly in his element, and it's doing weird things to your chest. 
You can't help but wonder—what does it feel like to make him look that happy? Not that it matters, obviously.
It's just a thought.
A completely useless, irrelevant, go-away-right-now kind of thought.  
If you weren't busy trying not to trip over your own feet and accidentally drop Jisoo, you might have stopped to take it all in. To admire the way he looks standing there, talking about something he clearly loves, like he's found this magical pocket of the universe where nothing else matters. Might have.  
But instead, your thoughts screech in a halt, jolting you out of your daydream.  
Abort mission. This was a terrible idea.  
Why did you come here? Why is your face hot? Can Jisoo smell fear?  
Before you can think of a single coherent reason to not turn around and bolt, Jay glances up. And he spots you.  
His eyes light up even more—if that's even physically possible. "Y/N?" He calls out, grinning widely.  
Great. Now you're here. He's happy to see you. You're standing in the middle of his gallery with a robot baby that can most definitely smell your fear.  
Fantastic. Just fantastic.  
Jay's voice cuts through your existential spiral, "Y/N!" He's waving you over as he calls out your name again, like you're a long-lost friend who's just returned from war. 
Well, to be fair, you are fighting a war—against your own dumb feelings.  
"Hey!" You croak, trying to sound casual but ending up somewhere between a dog's favorite squeaky toy and a rusty car horn. You internally flinch at your own voice.  
"Wow, you came," he says, his sweet smile still on display as you shuffle over to where he's standing. "And you brought Jisoo! My biggest fan."
He reaches out to cup Jisoo's cheeks, and you almost smack yourself in the head for feeling jealous over your own robot baby.  
"Yeah, well," you start, trying to sound nonchalant. "I figured, you know, project partners should support each other...teamwork and all that."  
Jay raises an eyebrow, clearly trying to stifle a laugh. "Right. Teamwork. Totally."  
You shift your weight from one leg to another, awkwardly looking up, eventually landing your eyes on the wall behind him, scanning the photos on display. Each photo is so him—a little chaotic, a little bold, but somehow...strikingly beautiful. There's a photo of a rainy city street, the light catching every droplet; a close-up of a sunflower against a brilliant sky; a candid of a kid laughing, his face tilted up toward the sun.  
You suddenly feel a weird, warm pull in your chest. It’s one thing to see Jay cracking jokes and making sarcastic comments during late-night baby meltdowns. But this? This is a side of him you’ve never seen before—one that’s thoughtful, intentional, passionate. 
You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring until Jay speaks up, his voice softer now. “Do you like them?” 
You blink, startled, and then nod a little too quickly. You hope he doesn't notice (he does).  
"Yeah. I mean...these are really good, Jay. You're–" you cut yourself off, realizing you're about to say something embarrassing. ''–talented," you finish lamely.  
"Thanks," Jay tilts his head, looking almost shy. "That means a lot, actually."  
His voice is so genuine that it throws you off. You weren't prepared for this level of sincerity. It makes your stomach flip in a way that's both exciting and mildly terrifying.  
Jay gestures toward the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets like he's trying not to fidget. "I wasn't sure if this was your kind of thing, thought you'd be busy and stuff, but I'm glad you came. I, uh..," he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, "I was kind of hoping you would."  
Oh.  
Oh?  
OH.  
Your brain immediately short-circuits. He hoped you'd come? Like...in a we're-in-this-together-as-project-partners way, or in a please-let-this-mean-something-more-than-project-partners way? Is this what cardiac arrest feels like? Should you call someone? Should you call him? No, wait, you're already talking to him—focus! 
You clear your throat and try to channel every ounce of chill you simply do not possess. "Well," you say, attempting to keep your voice steady and failing miserably, "I'm here."  
It comes out barely louder than a whisper, and you immediately regret every life decision that's led you to this moment. But then Jay smiles—soft, something smaller, more private—and it's like the world shifts slightly off its axis.  
"Yeah," he says quietly, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that makes you forget how to breathe. "You are."  
And just like that, the noise of the environment dissolves, and the rest of the world shrinks to nothing but the space between you and him. The moment feels impossibly big like it might swallow you whole, and yet so small it could shatter with the slightest breath.  
You're pretty sure you're about to combust. Explode. Turn into a human firework fueled entirely by sheer tension and whatever it is that's happening right now. God, why does he have to look at you like that? Like you're not standing here internally unraveling?  
You break eye contact to glance down at Jisoo, and you're positive she's giving you a look that screams, Stop being weird, you two.  
"Anyway!" You blurt out, desperate to break the tension. "Which one's your favorite?" You gesture to the photos, your eyes darting anywhere but his own. 
He laughs, and the sound is warm and unguarded, "C'mon, I'll show you."  
He grabs your free hand without thinking, tugging you toward the far end of the wall. And just like that, you're helplessly following him, heart racing again, wondering how the hell you got here—and why you never want to leave.  
So much for in and out.  
Jay pulls you towards the far end of the gallery, his hand wrapped around yours like it's the most natural thing in the world.  
It's not.  
Your brain is in full-blown meltdown mode. Red alerts, sirens blaring, a voice screaming, "WE'RE HOLDING HANDS, PEOPLE!"  
But there's no way you're about to let him see how much this is affecting you, so you shove the chaos down, pretending like your hand isn't currently experiencing the touch equivalent of fireworks...and hoping that it isn't sweaty.  
"This one," Jay says, stopping in front of a photo that's somehow both ordinary and magical. It's a simple shot of your campus football field, taken from the bleacher stands. You've stood in those very bleachers too many times to count—for school events, games, the occasional half-hearted attempt to pretend you like sports. But somehow, in this shot, the field looks...different.  
The grass glows like it's soaked in liquid gold under a sky caught between dusk and twilight. The field is empty, yet it doesn't feel lonely. There's something about it that Jay managed to capture—like it holds a thousand stories and secrets, quietly hopeful in its stillness.  
"It's beautiful," you murmur, the words slipping out before you can catch them. 
"Yeah," Jay lets out a breath. "It's my favorite spot on campus. I go there a lot when I need to think or just...get away a bit."  
You glance at him, startled at the sudden vulnerability in his voice. Jay never strikes you as someone who gets lost in his head; he always seemed too confident, too effortlessly sure of himself. But right now, he's not looking at you—he's staring at the photo, like he's seeing something beyond it.  
"I took it on one of those days—I was just overthinking a lot about life. About who I am, I guess," he continues. "I didn't think it'd turn out good or anything, but...I don't know. It felt right."  
Your chest tightens. There's something so raw in the way he's speaking, like he's letting you see a side of him he usually keeps hidden. It makes you wonder how many other layers Jay Park has, and why it feels so important to uncover them all.  
The silence between you stretches as you watch Jay continue to study his own photograph. There's a softness in his gaze, a quiet vulnerability that makes you feel like you're seeing him a way few people ever do.  
But then he blinks, breaking the moment, and suddenly he's looking at you. You stiffen, panic bubbling up at the possibility that he might've noticed you staring at him.  
"Sorry," he says, his voice carrying a self-deprecating chuckle. "It's really cheesy and stupid."  
You find yourself shaking your head before he even finishes his sentence. "No! Not at all, really," you blurt out, the words stumbling over themselves in their rush to escape. You feel the heat creeping up your neck, mortified at your sudden intensity.  
Jay raises an eyebrow, amused, but doesn't say anything, so you clear your throat and try again, softer this time. "I mean it. You have a good eye, Jay." You mean it more than you've meant anything in a while, and you hope he knows that.  
For a second, he just looks at you, like he's taking note of something, his head tilted ever so slightly. And then, slowly, his lips curve into that small, genuine smile that makes your chest feel annoyingly warm. "Thanks, Y/N."  
Your heart does a little somersault. Oh great. There it goes again.  
And as if Jisoo can sense the moment might be getting too serious, she lets out a cry. You stumble back, jump scared enough by the loud and sudden sound, and Jay reacts instantly, steadying you with his hands on your shoulders.  
"You okay?" He asks, his face so close that you can now confirm there are literal, actual flecks of gold in his eyes. Of course there are.  
You blink. I've officially lost it. Completely, utterly, hopelessly, lost it.  
You nod, your voice stuck in your throat. Am I okay? No. No, you are not okay. You are decidedly not okay.  
Jay clears his throat, stepping back—though his hands linger a beat longer than they probably need to, but still a second too short than you should probably want to. 
You want to scream into the void.  
"Looks like it's time for Jisoo's dinner," he says lightly with a small chuckle. 
You fumble for words, your brain still offline. "Uh—yeah. I left her bottle at my place, and I should probably get going anyways," you manage, your voice a little too breathless for comfort.  
Jay glances at his watch, pausing for a moment before looking back at you, something hopeful flicking in his eyes.
"I'm pretty much done here," he says, tilting his head towards the door. "It's late. Let me walk you home."  
You hesitate, torn between insisting you're perfectly fine on your own (you're not) and letting him (you want to). But the way he's looking at you—like it's no big deal, like he simply wants to—makes the decision for you.  
"Okay," you say, quieter than you mean to, and before you can second-guess yourself, Jay's already taking Jisoo's carrier from your arms, effortlessly shifting it onto his own.  
"Let's go," he says, flashing you a small smile that feels like a punch to your stomach in the best way possible.  
And just like that, you're walking side by side into the cool night air, your breaths visible in the chill, easily falling into a comfortable rhythm as you walk through the quiet campus, the streetlights above casting long shadows ahead of you. 
There’s something easy about walking with him like this. It shouldn’t feel this natural—your heart’s doing somersaults and pirouettes like it’s auditioning for a circus—but it does. You steal a glance at him, and he’s focused on the path ahead, his profile calm and soft in the glow of the lights. 
"So," Jay breaks the quiet as he stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, "Can you believe the project's almost over?"  
You let out a small laugh, tilting your head. "Honestly, no. Feels like just yesterday I was praying you'd drop the class."  
Jay laughs, a sound that seems to echo in the quiet environment. "Wow, Y/N. I thought we were bonding."  
"We were," you tease, turning to him with a barely concealed smirk. "I just also thought you were going to be a disaster of a partner."  
He scoffs, giving you a mock-offended look. "I proved you wrong, right? I was amazing since day one."  
"You handed Jisoo to me like she was a bomb, Jay," you remind him, unable to stop yourself from laughing.  
"I was assessing the danger!" Jay protests, his grin widening. "And excuse me, I've stepped up. I've made bottles, I've cleaned her, I even know how to put on a diaper the right side up!"  
"Jay, the fact that you had to learn which way was right side up is concerning in itself," you manage to let out with a giggle. 
"Details, details," he waves a dismissive hand. "Point is, I'm practically father of the year."  
You roll your eyes, but you're smiling. A sharp breeze suddenly hits the both of you, and you visibly shiver from the lack of warmth your outfit provides. All that time choosing an outfit, and you still couldn't pick a weather-appropriate one. Stellar, Y/N.  
And of course, Jay notices immediately. Before you can so much as form a protest, he's shrugging his jacket off and draping it over your shoulders, your body immediately stiffening as his hands brush against you lightly in the process.  
You open your mouth to say something—anything, even just a whispered thank you—but Jay beats you to it, sparing you the effort of finding actual, coherent words. 
“So,” he says casually, like he hasn’t just sent your brain spiraling, “what do you think you’ll do when it’s over?”
"Uh," you blink, still needing a second to reorient yourself. "Sleep, for once."  
Jay laughs again. "Fair. You deserve it. But you'll miss me, right?"  
"Not even for a second," you deadpan without hesitation.  
"Liar," he teases, bumping your shoulder lightly.  
You reach your building all too soon, the doors looming in front of you like an unwelcome reminder that this walk, this moment, is about to end. You stop just before the steps and turn to face him, rocking on your heels.  
"Okay, maybe a little," you admit, shrugging. "But only because you make me look like the competent one by comparison."  
"Wow," Jay shakes his head, but there it is again. The smile—the small, amused one that makes his eyes crinkle just enough to be unfairly attractive. 
You glance up at him, wishing the walk had been just a few blocks longer. Or a few miles.  
"Well," you say finally, forcing your gaze away from his own. "Thanks for walking me. And for carrying Jisoo." 
You reach for Jisoo's carrier, and Jay hands it over without hesitation, but not before shrugging like it's no big deal.
"No problem," he says. Then, as you're adjusting the carrier on your arm, he adds, "And thanks again, Y/N. For coming tonight. It really meant a lot."  
Your heart does that stupid fluttery thing again it's been doing all night, and you're starting to think you need a medical consultation.  
"Yeah, well," you clear your throat. "Partner support, you know?" You sound dumb, Y/N. Dumb.  
Jay smirks, but there's something gentler in his expression now, a flicker of something you can't quite name. 
"Goodnight, Y/N. And goodnight, Jisoo," he says, giving a small wave to the baby carrier, making you giggle slightly.  
He takes a few steps back, his hands slipping into his pockets, and gives you one last smile before turning to walk away. But before he gets too far, something bursts out of you, unwarned.  
"Jay!"  
He stops, turning on his heels, his brows lifting in surprise. "Yeah?"  
You step forward, closing a bit of the distance between you, suddenly hyper-aware of how your voice wavers. "Um, I was wrong. You're...not all that bad." Why am I doing this? "I'm sorry if I've been...you know, intense. These past few years."  
Jay blinks at you, his surprise turning into something softer. You take a deep breath, pushing through the self-inflicted awkwardness. 
"You've been a really good partner," you add, offering a small, genuinely smile. "And well...you're pretty cool."  
His studies your face for a moment, the look longing and careful, like he's piecing together something fragile. A faint smile tugs at his lips, and there's a warmth in his expression that sends heat rushing to your cheeks.   
For a moment, the two of you just stand here, caught in the glow of the streetlamp. The world around you feels distant, like someone's hit the mute button on everything but the sound of your heartbeat.  
Jay's smile widens ever so slightly, and he nods, his voice quiet but firm. "I'll see you around, Y/N."  
He takes a few steps backward, his gaze holding yours until he finally turns and starts walking away. You watch him disappear into the night, the outline of his figure fading with the streetlights, and only then do you realize you've been holding your breath.  
As you step into your building and climb the stairs to your apartment, the night replays in your head on a loop—his laugh, his smile, his everything.  
When you finally reach your door, you lean against it for a moment, his large jacket still wrapped around you. Your thoughts crash into you all at once, and two things become alarmingly clear:  
You are completely, utterly, hopelessly in like with Jay Park.  
You're in so much trouble.  
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“Congratulations, everyone!” Professor Kim clasps her hands together at the front of the classroom, a wide smile on her face. “You’ve survived six weeks of parenting. Hopefully, you’ve learned something useful—and that it hasn’t scared you off from actual parenthood one day. Each baby had a monitor tracking its status, so I’ll be extracting that data, combining it with your progress reports, and factoring it into your grade.” 
Jay leans toward you from his seat next to you, his breath warm against your ear. “That’s a little creepy…she’s going to take Jisoo apart? The poor thing.” His smirk is half-guilty, half-amused, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep from laughing out loud. 
This is new. Six weeks ago, he was Mr. Front-Row Enthusiast, and sometime between then and now, you’ve somehow managed to convert him into your next-row-back partner. He’d grumbled at first when you insisted about your theory that the front row screamed try-hard, but since then, he doesn’t even glance at the seats up front anymore. 
“Grades will be out soon! I’ll see you all next week,” Professor Kim announces. “And don’t forget to submit your reflection posts!” 
The shuffle of bags and jackets fills the room as students thank her on their way out. Slowly, the lecture hall empties, until it’s just you and Jay lingering at your seats. 
“Well,” you say, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you stand. “That’s it. No more parenting lessons for us.” 
Jay heaves a dramatic sigh, his lips pulling into a pout that’s far too endearing for your peace of mind. “I can’t believe it. I already miss Jisoo.” 
You chuckle lightly but feel an odd tug in your chest. “Right? I got so used to carrying her and her baby bag everywhere. It’s weird not having her around.” 
And it is weird. You never thought you’d feel this way about a glorified hunk of plastic and wires, but now, without Jisoo, something feels…off.  
Or maybe it’s not just Jisoo. Maybe it’s the fact that this project, unexpectedly enough, turned into an excuse—a reason to spend so much time with Jay. Now that it’s over, what happens next? 
The thought hangs between you as the two of you head out of the building. The campus is alive with the hum of students, the energy buzzing around you as everyone heads to their afternoon classes. You both stop outside, standing awkwardly side by side as the silence stretches. 
No more 'Jisoo days' to plan for. No more excuses to text. No more shared tasks or inside jokes. 
Will he go back to his front-row seat, forgetting these last few weeks? Or will he—will you—pretend none of this ever happened? 
Jay shifts beside you, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes flicker to yours, then away again, as if he’s waiting for you to say something first. 
“Well,” you finally say, breaking the quiet because it’s just too heavy to bear. “I have to head to my next class.” 
“Right. Yeah,” Jay says quickly, too quickly, his hands both fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. “Makes sense.” 
He hesitates, his mouth opening like he’s about to add something, but then he stops. You notice the way he’s looking at you, like there’s a thousand things he wants to say but can’t figure out how to start. You feel that familiar heat creep up your neck, the same one you tend to get whenever you’re around him nowadays.  
“Alright,” you finally say, shifting on your feet. “See you around, then?” 
Jay’s lips turn up in a small, almost longing, smile. “Yeah. See you.” 
He doesn’t move, though. Neither do you. It’s like both of you are waiting for the other to take a step away first, and the pause grows longer and longer until you can practically hear the universe screaming at you to just go already. It’s getting unbearably uncomfortable for all of us, Y/N.  
And when you finally start to turn, before you can even take three steps, his voice stops you. 
“Hey.” 
You glance back over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?” 
Jay scratches the back of his neck, looking like he’s fighting some kind of internal battle. “Uh, you were also a really good partner. You know, with Jisoo. I mean, you were kinda terrifying at first with all your color-coded schedules and spreadsheets, but…” 
His smile softens, and his voice drops a little. “You were great. Really. I think I learned a thing or two from you.”  
Your stomach flips in a way that’s both infuriating and addictive. 
“Thanks,” you say, trying to sound casual even though your brain is short-circuiting. “Means a lot from someone who had to Google which way a diaper goes.”  
He laughs, the sound bright and warm in the cool air. “Okay, one time, Y/N. Let it go.” 
“Nope.” You grin, turning fully toward him now, your nerves settling under the familiarity of teasing. “You’ll never live it down. It’s my parting gift to you.” 
Jay presses a hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “Wow. I pour my heart out, and this is what I get in return?” 
“Exactly.” 
He chuckles again, shaking his head before finally stepping back, breaking the invisible bubble that’s been holding you both in place. “Alright. I’ll see you, Y/N.” 
“Bye, Jay,” you say, forcing yourself to turn and start walking away.  
You make it a few steps before you hear his voice a second time, softer this time, almost hesitant. 
“Y/N.” 
You glance back, your heart skipping a beat. 
Jay looks at you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before his lips curve into a small, lopsided smile. “Text me when you get home later tonight, okay? After your day is done.”  
You blink, caught off guard. “What?” 
“Just…so I know you got there safe,” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. But the way his voice dips at the end betrays him. 
Your chest tightens in a way that officially feels dangerous. But you know you never want to get enough of this feeling.   
“Okay,” you manage to say, the word quieter than you meant, but it was the most you could muster up with the bubble stuck in your throat.  
Jay nods, his smile widening just a little. “Good.” 
And this time, when you turn away, you can’t stop the smile that sneaks onto your face. 
✭・.・✫
By the time you get home, it’s late, and the apartment is quiet. Esther is nowhere to be found—probably out with Heeseung or at the library pretending to study. You toe off your shoes and drop your bag by the door, the routine feeling strangely empty without Jisoo’s carrier on your arm and her baby bag strapped to the other.  
With a sigh, you find your way to your room and collapse onto your bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone. Jay’s parting words have been echoing in your head all day, barely letting you focus during the rest of your classes—“Text me when you get home.” 
You hover over your messages for a second longer than necessary, typing and deleting a draft once, then twice, then a third time, before finally hitting send: 
Y/N [8:52PM]: home safe 👍 
You stare at the screen for exactly three seconds before flinging your phone across your bed. You roll over, face buried in your pillow, half hoping he doesn’t reply so you don’t have to overanalyze the significance of a thumbs-up emoji. 
But, of course, your phone buzzes almost instantly. 
Jay [8:53PM]: good 👍 sleep well. 
A small, ridiculous smile tugs at your lips. You really shouldn’t be this giddy over such a mundane exchange, over a thumbs up emoji, but somehow, here you are. 
And that’s when you start going insane. You shoot up from your spot in bed.  
Why did he tell you to text him? Does he say that to everyone? Or was it just…you? And why does he keep looking at you like that? You’ve never been the kind of person to spiral like this, but lately, everything about Jay has you unraveling in ways you don’t know how to handle.
Clearly.  
You groan, flailing your arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Get it together, Y/N,” you mutter to yourself, but it’s no use. Every little interaction from the past six weeks replays in your head on a loop—his laughter, his stupid jokes, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. 
Your thoughts are interrupted by a sharp buzz from your phone. You glance over, half expecting a random notification (the other half hoping Jay double texted you) but instead, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for without realizing it: 
Professor Kim: Final grades are posted! 
Your heart leaps. Practically fumbling with your phone, you open the grading portal, scanning the page with a held breath. And there it is, staring back at you in bold letters: 
Semester Project Grade: 100% 
“YES!” you exclaim, punching the air like a successful cartoon character. You’re grinning so wide your cheeks hurt, practically bouncing in bed. It’s the kind of happiness that makes you feel like you’re going to burst if you don’t share it with someone. 
And there’s only one person you want to share it with. 
Before you know what you’re doing, your closet doors are wide open, your hands rifling through. Your hands land on his jacket—the one he lent you after the showcase—and something about it feels right. You shrug it on, ignoring the way it smells faintly like him (and comfort), and grab your keys without a second thought. 
By the time you realize what you’re doing, you’re already halfway to Jay’s apartment. It’s not like you had a plan—just this overwhelming need to see him.  
Because somehow, he’s become the first person you want to share everything with, want to experience every moment with, want to feel every feeling with, and that thought is both exhilarating and terrifying all at once.  
But you’ve never been so sure of anything else before.  
Your breath hitches as you reach his familiar door, hand raised to knock. You hesitate for a moment, suddenly aware of how ridiculous this is. Who shows up at someone’s place at this hour, unannounced, just to tell them about a grade? What if he already saw it and didn’t even think twice? You look insane, Y/N. Insane.  
But then you think about the way he looked at you earlier, the way he smiled when he said “good job.” 
And you knock.  
✭・.・✫
Jay doesn’t know what’s happening. One second, he’s on his couch editing photos, and the next, someone’s trying to break down his door. At least, that’s what it sounds like. The pounding is so aggressive it makes his mug of tea tremble slightly on the table. 
Heart racing, Jay tosses his laptop aside and scans the room for a weapon. Nothing. Great. In a flash of panic, he grabs the TV remote because, sure, it’s sleek, ergonomic, and maybe intimidating in the right light. 
Bracing himself for certain doom, he yanks the door open— 
“Oh.” 
It’s you. 
At his doorstep. 
Unannounced. 
In his jacket. 
Jay flatlines. All he can do is stare at you in the oversized jacket—his oversized jacket—looking like you walked straight out of one of his dream scenarios. The rational part of him is trying to keep it together, but the feral part of his brain is screaming She’s in my clothes. Marriage now. 
You tilt your head, studying his expression. “Jay? Are you…okay?” 
He blinks, realizing he’s been standing there for a good five seconds with his mouth slightly open.  
“Uh. Yeah. Totally. Uh—what’s up?” 
“Well first, why are you wielding a TV remote like it’s a sword?” 
Jay glances down at the remote in his hand, then back at you.
“…I thought you were a robber.” 
“A robber?” you repeat, struggling not to laugh. “What kind of robber knocks?” 
“I don’t know, maybe a polite one!” 
You let out a giggle and shrug. “Fair enough. But anyway, I’m here because—did you see?” 
“See what?” He frowns, confused, and still recovering from his adrenaline rush. 
“Professor Kim posted our grades! We got a 100%!” 
Jay stares at you for a second before the words sink in. “Wait—what? We got a hundred?” 
“Yes!” You’re practically bouncing, a bright smile lighting up your face. “A perfect score, Jay!” 
He laughs and steps forward, grabbing your shoulders in his hands. “No way. We actually did it?!” 
“We did it!” You beam back, jumping up and down. “We crushed it!” 
Jay’s grinning so hard his cheeks hurt, but he doesn’t care. There’s something about seeing you this happy, standing in his doorway like a whirlwind of energy, that makes his chest feel way too full, too complete.  
And for a moment, the two of you are just standing there, caught up in the moment, smiling at each other like idiots. 
When the excitement dies down, Jay notices the way you’re still slightly breathless, like you’d run all the way here.  
“Wait,” he squints. “You could’ve just texted me, you know.” 
“Oh,” you shift your weight, suddenly looking a little shy. “Yeah. But I just…wanted to see you.” 
Jay blinks. His brain is once again malfunctioning.  
“Oh.”  
Oh? 
OH.  
“Yeah. So…here I am,” you add, failing miserably to conceal the wobble in your voice.  
“Here you are,” he repeats, his voice back to that soft tone that knows how to make your heart go into overdrive.  
His eyes flicker to yours and stay there as the air between you suddenly feels heavier. Charged. 
“Is that all?” Jay asks, his lips twitching into a teasing smile. 
“Uh,” you clear your throat, looking anywhere but at him. “I guess.” 
Jay leans against the doorframe, studying you with that stupidly charming smirk of his. “Well, then.” 
“Well, then,” you echo, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his jacket like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever encountered (spoiler: it’s not. That would be Jay’s face. But we’re not admitting that just yet). 
Neither of you moves. Not even a millimeter. The silence stretches so long that you’re pretty sure somewhere in the world, a Netflix show just autoplayed its next episode. 
Then, suddenly, Jay watches as your face cycles through the emotional Olympics: panic, resolve, regret, and whatever it is that makes your eyebrows do that cute scrunch thing he secretly loves. 
“I should go,” you say, finally breaking the silence, your voice quieter now. “Sorry for barging in like this.” 
You look down at your feet, hands still mindlessly playing with the sleeve of his jacket. Jay’s stomach twists at the sight—at the quiet, unsure way you’re suddenly retreating.  
No. Absolutely not. He doesn’t know where his bravery is coming from (he suspects it’s sheer desperation), but he refuses to let you leave like this. 
Before you can fully turn away, Jay reaches out and gently grabs your sleeve, tugging you back like you’re his favorite person in the world—which, spoiler again, you totally are. 
“Wait,” he says, pulling you close enough that you bump into his chest. Both his hands find their way to your waist, steadying you with an ease that feels practiced. Like it’s where his hands were always meant to be. 
And that's when Jay knows for sure: he likes you. He likes you bad. Painful highlighters, confusing spreadsheets, and all. He likes the way you carry your stubbornness like a badge of honor. He likes the way you chew on your pen when you're deep in thought. The way you turn his every sarcastic comment into a competition he's somehow thrilled to lose.  
“You forgot something,” he murmurs, his voice soft and low as his eyes search yours, then your lips, then your entire face.  
Your heart stumbles, your brain short-circuits, and you’re pretty sure your face is now the color of a stop sign. 
“Oh, uh, the jacket?” you stammer, looking down at where he grabbed your sleeve, grasping for any logical explanation. “You’re right. Sorry, I almost—” 
But before you can finish, Jay does something both incredibly bold and incredibly reckless. He leans in and presses his lips to yours. 
For a moment, you freeze. This isn’t real. Is this an alternate universe where Jay kisses you instead of just driving you insane? 
But then, the realization sinks in—Jay is kissing you. Like, actually kissing you. And wow. 
The first touch of his lips sends a rush through your entire body, like every nerve has suddenly woken up all at once. He’s hesitant at first, almost like he’s giving you the chance to pull away, but when you don’t—when you finally let go of all the confusion, overthinking, and denial—you lean into him, your hands both instinctively reaching up, gripping the fabric of his shirt to ground yourself as you kiss him back, now realizing how much you desperately wanted this.  
And that’s all the encouragement Jay needs.  
His hands tighten on your waist, pulling you flush against him, his fingers brushing the hem of the jacket you’re wearing—his jacket, you remember with a strange, fluttering thrill. The kiss deepens, gentle but insistent, a slow, breathtaking unraveling of all the tension that’s been simmering between you for weeks. 
It’s like the air shifts around you, the space between you collapsing into nothing. You feel his breath, warm against your skin, and the faintest hitch in it when your hand moves up to lightly curl against the back of his neck. 
He’s so close, and everything about this moment feels right—his familiar scent, the steady warmth of his hands on your waist, the way he tilts his head slightly to meet yours like he’s memorizing the shape of you. 
Your heart pounds, the world spinning just a little too fast and too slow all at once. It’s electric, and dizzying, and somehow everything and nothing like you imagined (because, yes, you’ve imagined it—so what?). 
Jay pulls back just slightly, his forehead brushing yours as he grins, his voice a playful mumble against your lips, not wanting to break the kiss. “You can keep the jacket.” 
Your laugh bubbles out before you can stop it, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as you clutch at his arms for balance.
“Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” 
“I’m a multi-tasker,” he replies, deadpan, his lips turning into a teasing smirk as he leans in and steals another quick kiss. He starts to pull back again, but you don't let him—your hand catches his sleeve as you dart up and chase his lips for one more peck, light and fleeting, but enough to make him smile like a fool. You're completely, utterly, hopelessly obsessed with him.  
"Besides," he adds, the words smug as his arms tighten around you, "I've already sacrificed my jacket. Might as well give up my dignity too."  
You roll your eyes, “You’re still an idiot.” 
“And yet, I’m the idiot you kissed back,” Jay fires back, brushing a strand of hair from your face.  
You shake your head, your voice soft and teasing. “You’re so—” 
The words trail off as you meet his gaze again, and before you can even think about stopping yourself, you tilt your head up, close the remaining distance between you, and kiss him first this time.  
Jay freezes for a second, caught off guard, before he fully melts into the kiss again, one hand instinctively curling around your waist to keep you as close as possible. There's no hesitation now, no teasing, no holding back—just the two of you in the quiet of his doorway, and the overwhelming certainty that neither of you wants to let this—this moment, this feeling—to end. 
When you finally pull back, Jay’s eyes are sparkling, his gaze holding an undeniable warmth. 
“You know,” he starts, voice light but tinged with something deeper, “if you keep doing that, I might start thinking you actually like me or something.” 
You raise an eyebrow, leaning in just close enough to make him squirm, your smirk playful. 
“And if you keep talking,” you murmur, your voice low and teasing, “I might change my mind.” 
Jay blinks, momentarily stunned, before letting out a breathless laugh, his arms instinctively circling your waist again, pulling you just a little closer. “Noted. Say less. I’ll shut up forever. You’re stuck with me now.” 
Stuck with Jay? As in a more-than-project-partners kind of way? 
Yeah, you think, meeting the smile he’s giving you. 
You don’t mind that idea one bit. 
✭・.・✫
Now that the six weeks of parenthood is over, we ask that you write a reflection post in response to your pre-questionnaire answers we asked you at the beginning of the project. Were your expectations met? Exceeded? Any surprises along the way?
Y/N’s Submission [11:15AM, October 30th]:
Parenting, even with a robot baby, turned out to be nothing like I expected. I’ve learned that no matter how much you plan, babies (and life) have a way of completely ignoring your carefully crafted schedules. It was frustrating at times, but it also made things…unexpectedly fun.
Speaking of unexpected—let’s just say my partnership for this project caught me completely off guard, in the best way possible. Turns out, some surprises are worth breaking the plan for :)
Jay’s Submission [11:30AM, October 30th]:
Honestly? I expected surprises, but I wasn’t ready to lose three years of my life over a diaper change—or nearly go deaf from tantrums. Safe to say, I learned the hard way that being a little prepared isn’t such a bad idea.
But here’s the thing: turns out, babies (and certain project partners) have a way of growing on you. Who knew spreadsheets and sleepless nights could actually be…kinda great? I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes the best things aren’t planned. And also, I know how to change a diaper in 30 seconds now. The right side up :)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
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emmcfrxst · 2 days ago
Note
I’m wondering how Laura would react if reader and OldMan!Logan got into a fight? Maybe they tried to keep it away from her but unfortunately the girls too much like her father and ends up hearing most of it.
Ugh and imagine if she saw Logan storming off not realizing that he left you in tears…
(I’m feeling extremely angsty tonight.)
TW: MENTIONS OF DEATH, TRAUMA, ILLNESS, UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS, SUICIDAL IDEATIONS & GOD (I guess????) Set before Logan gets, as nonnie put it, chest-fucked, so during the period of time everyone’s trying to escape the fucking Reavers while figuring shit out. It got too long so it’s under the cut
You don’t argue that often with Logan— your relationship is solid and although communication was rocky at first, he’s made significant progress and is able to hold a serious conversation without immediately jumping back into his defense mechanisms (misguided anger, deflection and ultimately fleeing were his initial reactions when you tried establishing proper communication about feelings in the beginning). His progress, however, is rendered completely useless when the conversation is about his rapidly declining health; he’s immediately on the defensive, body going rigid and eyes going dark, jaw clenched so hard you’re afraid he might shatter it— he hates thinking about his newfound mortality, not necessarily because he’s afraid of death (it’s actually quite the opposite, he seeks death in a way, longing for the pain and the nightmares to just stop once and for all) but because he knows that dying means leaving you on your own and that’s something he can’t bear to think about— the guilt he feels at the thought of leaving you is immeasurable; it overwhelms him entirely because he knows that losing him would break you and it makes him feel physically ill to think about the consequences. So in true Logan fashion, he blows you off whenever you bring up your concerns, stating that he’s fine, and the anger he feels at himself and his body for failing him ends up being taken out on you through biting words he regrets as soon as they slip from his tongue.
“I’m the one who’s fuckin’ dying, for Christ’s sake, quit your fuckin’ yapping.” It’s a phrase he regrets uttering for multiple reasons: he hates being rude to you in any way, shape or form because you’re the last person who deserves to be subjected to his emotional constipation— you’ve taken all of his broken parts into your hands and pieced them back together with your unconditional love and unwavering patience, you’ve made him feel loved, you’ve made him feel alive, and most importantly, you’ve shown him that he doesn’t have to feel guilty or bitter about his existence. You’ve done so much for him throughout the years and he fucking hates himself for letting his emotions get the better of him like that. The other thing that bothers him deeply about his reaction is the verbal acknowledgment of his condition; it’s something that he somehow believes can be ignored, as if denying it could make it any less real. Acknowledging that he’s dying makes bile rise up his throat— it’s a bitter feeling, really, because he used to wish for death everyday before he met you, heart and mind torn to shreds from years of horrific abuse and unwavering violence; he even prayed to whatever God was out there, despite not being a believer, to just let him go, to free him of the chains of trauma that bound his psyche. His prayers were left unanswered, Logan only accumulating more trauma as the years went by— he can’t count how many times he’s cursed God for making him go through what he’s gone through, needing someone to blame and wishing for a way to end it all. Ironically, Logan’s immortality only seems to waver once he starts treasuring life; it feels like a stab in the back, a cruel joke orchestrated by God who finally decided to answer his prayers now that he wishes he could take them back. The feeling of betrayal only seems to further fuel Logan’s anger towards his illness, which, combined with the guilt he feels at the thought of leaving you alone, causes him to act out whenever you bring up the subject. You take offense in the words thrown at you, hurt by the reminder of his impending death and the way he navigates it, arguing back that you do this because you care about him, for fuck’s sake. Unfortunately, that only seems to make things worse, upsetting Logan further and bringing back years’ worth of feeling unworthy of your affections.
“That’s your fuckin’ problem bub. I told ya you shouldn’t waste your time with a man like me.” he physically winces as he utters those words, wishing he could unsee the way it makes your entire face crumble with despair— it’s a slap in the face, really, to be brought back to square one and have him reject you in this way. Logan flees before either of you can say anything else, slamming the front door behind him and walking in no particular direction until he feels like he can finally breathe again, leaving you in tears at home. Laura, although playing in her makeshift room at the time, hears the whole exchange as clear as day due to her enhanced senses, her fists clenching with rage when her ears pick up the sound of your stifled sobs. You feel her before you even hear her, your body tensing as a pair of small, skinny arms wrap around your middle, a head resting along your spine. After the initial alarm of feeling someone touching you, you can’t help but let out a watery laugh at just how easy it seemed for her to surprise you, turning around in Laura’s arms so you can look down at her. A frown is etched onto her features, lips puckered into an angry pout as she hugs you tighter, insulting Logan in spanish under her breath. It makes you laugh again, this time softly, your hand smoothing out her hair as you sniffle.
“I’m okay, Laura. I’m okay.” she glares up at you, unconvinced, giving you another squeeze and reluctantly allowing her features to relax when you gently run a fingertip across the furrow of her brows— despite not being together for long, you find that you’re able to soothe Laura quite easily; there is a connection between the two of you like you’ve never felt before, a bond that you feel like you were always destined to have. Your heart warms at the obvious way the child seems to care for you, wanting nothing more than to make all of her worries disappear.
“He made you cry.” her voice is so quiet that you almost miss it, a soft, indignant noise leaving her at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks. You sniffle again, free hand moving up to wipe at your eyes, the other caressing her hair lovingly.
“I know.” you don’t say that it’s okay because it’s not— Logan crossed a line that you thought had been worn down ages ago, and you’ll be damned before you ever teach Laura that hurtful words can be brushed aside so easily without an apology. It’s for her as much as for you; you’re aware that you deserve respect even when Logan is upset, and you’re not about to stomp down on your self-worth to coddle him when he’s done something wrong. He’ll apologize, you’re sure of it, but until that happens, you’re not going to pretend that his reaction was acceptable. It’s something you categorically refuse to do, and it’s one of the many reasons Logan fell in love with you in the first place. You know your worth.
“I’ll be okay soon.” you tell her honestly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. She studies you for a moment longer before nodding her head, allowing you to lead her onto the couch where she curls up next to you.
You’re asleep by the time Logan starts walking back towards the house but Laura hears the crunching of sand and gravel under his shoes, quietly untangling herself from you and moving to the side of the door, frown back on her features. Logan barely has the time to pass the threshold before she’s on him, jumping onto his back like a feral animal and punching his shoulders repeatedly, growling when he grabs her and holds her still, visibly confused and irritated by her behavior.
“Don’t even think about it.” he warns her when she makes to bite the hand that holds her down, frowning down at her just as hard she does up to him. She struggles in his hold, trying to hit him again, making him grunt in pain.
“You made her cry, coño.” the words make Logan freeze in his tracks, eyes falling on your sleeping form on the couch, noting the way your eyes look reddened and the tear tracks on your cheeks. Nausea immediately strikes him like lightning, the expression on his face seeming to satisfy Laura as she stops struggling, frown still evident on her face. She sits up and watches silently once he lets her go, staying nearby to see the situation unfold.
You awake to a calloused hand gently running over the plane of your cheekbone, eyes opening to meet Logan’s remorseful ones. He’s sitting on the ground next to the couch, looming over you in a way that makes you feel safe like no one else ever could.
“Hey.” his voice is hoarse but soft, thumb swiping back and forth over your skin in a silent act of comfort. It makes you smile despite your grogginess, and you feel more than you hear Logan releasing a soft, relieved inhale through his nose.
“Hey.” you answer him just as softly, leaning into his touch and closing your eyes again, content to feel him again.
“I’m sorry.” the words sound heavy coming out of his mouth, a grim expression taking over his features as he wipes off the remnants of your earlier tears.
“I know.” you reply simply, turning your head to press a gentle kiss against the roughened palm of his hand. It makes him exhale shakily, shoulders squaring as he prepares himself for the discomfort of the following words.
“Didn’t mean to snap at you, baby. I just… I feel helpless, I guess, and it fuckin’ pisses me off. Never had to worry about dying and leaving you alone before.” he says the words slowly, trying to make the last sentence sound like a joke, tone falling flat. You can tell he’s uncomfortable with the discussion but he pushes through, causing you to feel a rush of sympathy— he’s trying, you know he’s trying, and that means something to you.
“I know. I feel helpless, too. But you have to remember that you’re not alone. Not anymore. And I’m not going anywhere. No matter what happens, it’s you and me until the end.” he laughs wetly at your words, nodding his head and swallowing thickly before speaking again.
“I know.” this time it’s his turn to provide reassurance, the two little words more than enough for the both of you. The feeling of his warm lips connecting with your forehead makes your eyes flutter shut, hand coming up to lay over the one he’s curled around the back of your neck.
“Kid’s kicked my ass for making you cry.” he mumbles against your skin, the amusement in his voice clear. It makes you snort in surprise, unaware that Laura had intervened before you woke up.
“Did she? Well, you kinda deserved it.” your answer is playful, tone devoid of its previous heaviness, your eyes meeting Laura’s over Logan’s shoulder for a brief moment before focusing on your lover once again.
“That I did.” he agrees simply, a soft, tender, apologetic smile on his face. You lean further into him when he kisses your nose, heart feeling lighter than it had in a while.
You were going to be okay.
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beevean · 2 days ago
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I understand the miscommunication now. However, there is a difference between saying "I never played the 2000s games that gave closure to ShTH, and I like how SXSG handled things" and
I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.
If you missed out on the games, fair enough, it happens. Personally, I played Heroes and ShTH some years before Adventure 2, and it shaped my perception of Shadow. But if you put it in an objective way, as in, "Shadow never got proper closure before", then I would say "no, he did, multiple times, here's proof - you may not like the writing, but it still happened".
I didn't even talk about '06 itself because I am not going to think about its place in the canon timeline lol. But in a meta sense, it counts for my point: we players experienced Shadow's story and how it precisely exists to show us "look, he has moved on, he can no longer be swayed or manipulated, he knows who he is and what he's fighting for". Sure, the events with Mephiles didn't happen or he forgot, but that game still counted as closure to us after playing ShTH.
I really like that Shadow Gens doesn't emphasize his promise to Maria - he's not doing this out of obligation, but because he chooses to.
It's true that Shadow doesn't talk about his old promise, it's good and shows that he has grown. To be fair, though, another reason for this could be that the story is much more focused on Shadow's biology and ties to Black Doom than his relationship with the world (plus, it wouldn't make sense for him to tell Maria he had promised her to make people happy when she hasn't died yet lol). And, this is an issue I have with the part where Shadow briefly contemplates to stop Rouge and use Chaos Control to freeze Maria and Gerald in White Space: the fact that he has to be told to let them go is still, conceptually, Shadow needing Maria as moral guidance.
As for the mandate bit, I'm aware Boom isn't canon and Forces shows Shadow cares about his team (shout out to their banter in Team Sonic Racing for backing it up as well); I was more referring to the general 2010's vibe. Once you get past 2010, Shadow appears in Generations, where he just wants to "finish" Sonic… And then nothing until Forces, with everything extracurricular from Boom and IDW (while not being strictly canon) pointing to Sega and the writers… not treating his character well.
I disagree. I don't think it makes sense to talk about "general vibe", when the list of Shadow's appearances in the 2010s is so small they can be dissected one by one. Once you remove Boom, which again doesn't count at all as Boom Shadow is a different character from main Shadow (or you might as well argue that the 2010s as a whole turned Knuckles into an illiterate Kronk-like idiot or Eggman into a softie who is frenemies with Sonic), his portrayals in the games are generally decent, with perhaps the one exception of Free Riders where everyone was a dick for no reason lol. Speaking of Gens, sure Shadow challenges Sonic out of nowhere, but then he cheers for him to defeat the Eggmen and then even sticks around for his birthday, so he's not just "the Vegeta" as he has been described since then.
We can argue that Shadow was used very sparingly in the 2010s, which is true. The 2010s were a response to the backlash of the 2000s, and one of the complaints was precisely that Shadow stole the spotlight, along with all the "shitty friends", so they all took several seats back. The reason I insisted that Boom and IDW don't count is that they aren't canon, they shouldn't be used as proof to talk about the character, and they aren't proof of how SEGA sees the character - although they certainly didn't have an iron grip on the external writers except for some basic guidelines, and maybe they should have. I think we are still feeling the consequences of the series stumbling 10 years ago (that 2013-2017 gap was painful), and the fandom growing sour because of it.
I don't think SXSG is a bad game. I have a couple of complaints with Shadow's writing, but they mostly stem with how the story uses him, other than that I can see they tried to make him sound like he did in '06 and he works. My issue is wider: I would like these characters to move on and stop clinging onto games that are by now older than the average fan. We had Frontiers which mostly retreaded character arcs that we have seen in Sonic Adventure, way back in 1998; and now we got SXSG, which was a long, long way to tell us "hey remember ShTH? Now Shadow is tired of BD's shit. Here's a reminder of that game's twist regarding Shadow's biology, but he doesn't care. Also he still misses Maria." So I'm here like... the older games are there. Shadow's multi-game arc is there. Couldn't you have just re-released them? Couldn't you have announced a sale for SA2 on Steam? Or ported Heroes and ShTH, which would have been appreciated by a good chunk of the fandom? SXSG may be fun to play and a testament of ST learning lessons on level design and gameplay style, but the game itself was not the point of the experience, right? It's for newcomers attracted by the incoming movie to get an idea of who Shadow is. I understand and respect that I am not the target audience here. But that doesn't mean the older games are suddenly invalid or should be forgotten.
i guess tl;dr please port shth and battle and then let's write new scenarios for the cast
(Spoilers for Shadow Generations)
I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.
By the end of Adventure 2, he remembered his promise to Maria and made his choice to save the world, but then he "dies".
When Heroes revives him, he doesn't remember any of that.
His namesake game (and I say this as gently as possible), as cool as the multiple endings were, feels so unsatisfying. We get to see Shadow's potential for good and evil, sure, but then the true canon ending comes, and it doesn't specify what he did (or even what exactly he remembered about his past) to get there, and then he just decides not to let his past control him. Which isn't a terrible direction on paper, but the symbolism of him literally throwing away a picture of his family just seems... Like the opposite of what made this character appealing in the first place?
And from there, the games kept giving mixed signals. Sonic '06 shows how deeply he and Team Dark come to care for each other, but then its events get literally removed from the timeline. Sega begins to pretend that Team Dark aren't even friends in their mandates for a while (despite the fact they clearly care for each others' wellbeing before anybody else's). Shadow becomes practically a popsicle stick puppet for "angry, serious, violent rival", and they never feel a need to explain his motivations or reactions beyond waving at that four word character description again.
Shadow's appeal (at least to me) was never that he was a character who didn't care about anything - it was that he cared very deeply, actually. (Someone who nearly lets the world be destroyed as revenge for losing his family is the exact opposite of someone who doesn't care!) He may not be cheerful, he may be quiet and stern, he may have a temper and be capable of terrible things if he isn't careful, but he isn't heartless.
And Shadow Generations FINALLY got it right, I feel.
There's now no doubt that he remembers his past, and that it did matter to him. It still does, in fact, and we're dropping the idea that he'll move on from it like it never happened. That's not how tragedy works.
But he will be able to move forward.
He has finally, WITHOUT GETTING AMNESIA, IN THE CANON TIMELINE, gotten to become the hero Maria wanted him to be.
That doesn't mean his story's over: I'm sure they can still find adventures to send him on. And that doesn't mean he needs any kind of complete personality overhaul, either. He can still be more aggressive than Team Sonic, and more stern, and maybe even more willing to resort to questionable methods to fight next week's bad guy.
But all of Team Dark has gotten to acknowledge that they do, in fact, care for each other, even if their attitudes aren't as chummy as Team Sonic.
Shadow has gotten to hear from his family that they are proud of him, weird alien DNA and all, and that even though he will have to go the rest of his long life without them, their love will always go with him, and give him the strength he needs to overcome any of his darker parts.
Shadow having a darker edge than Sonic and Shadow being a hero are things that can and SHOULD coexist, and I'm so glad we finally got to see it for him without it getting wiped from canon or his own memories again.
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emchante · 6 hours ago
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Angst idea coming up!!
I imagine there would be a school event let’s say and Daniel would go with his children of course, possibly want to take you with him, but his ex wife would insist that it’s a family event and you’re not family in any way or shape, no matter how much you take care of Daniel’s kids, this just isn’t a place for you and this could make Daniel uneasy because he’d see the logical part in his ex wife’s reasoning yet feel bad because you are his new partner and his kids like you and I imagine this uneasiness and perhaps indecisiveness from Daniel would spark uncertainty in you as well and that just hits right in the heart
~🫠
🫠 nonnie always pulling through.. i know that’s right!! but GOD?? the thought of this?? it pulls my heartstrings. the angst potential LORDDD.
you know the usual, drabble under the cut<3
“she’s not family, daniel,” is spat across the line, daniel wincing at the harshness in his ex-wife’s voice. “she looks after the kids— great. that doesn’t make her family all of a sudden.”
daniel’s fingers drum against the kitchen counter anxiously as she rambles on, adding more reasons why you shouldn’t be at the kids’ charity evening. parents were invited along of course, running stalls with their children. it was a great idea, the kids were so excited to tell you, daniel and their mother.
but they didn’t know themselves that their mother wasn’t onboard with it.
“it’s— it’s not fair to leave her out,” he interrupts, screwing his eyes shut in preparation for another shout down the phone. thankfully, it’s only a deep sigh so he can continue. “the kids love her, they were so excited to tell her,” he explains, a soft smile appearing on his face as he recalled the memory.
“i don’t care, daniel,” she tells him, and she definitely isn’t lying— he had never heard her sound so bored, apart from the times daniel had tried to organise date nights that were more.. him. not a good memory. “remind me what the first line of the handout says?”
daniel frowns out of confusion at the question, but obliges anyways. he grabs the sheet of paper from in front of him, opening it up and reading it out. “dear parents of—”
“there!” she shouts, daniel flinching at the sudden loudness. “parents, daniel. she is not their parent. never has been, never will be.”
daniel exhales deeply from his nose. fuck. he should’ve seen that coming. what happened to letters saying ‘parents or guardians’? he shakes his head, trying to think of a response.
but he doesn’t need to, as she speaks up again. “we aren’t discussing this any more now, daniel. break the news— although it really isn’t much of a newsflash— and then start organising your outfit,”
and then the line fell flat.
daniel places his phone on the counter, before allowing his head to fall into his hands with a heavy sigh. he was feeling many emotions. confusion— about the whole thing. upset— he wasn’t able to get his side in. anger— over the newsflash comment. you had come a long way with his kids, and be had a controversial opinion on who was a better mother figure to the two.
————————————
“you can’t come tomorrow.”
the words feel like a stab in the heart when you hear them. daniel had sat you down in the living room after the kids had gone upstairs to play, and told you that he needed to talk to you.
you assumed it was serious, but you didn’t think it was this.
“what?” is all that falls from your lips, as you’re too shocked to form a proper sentence. daniel isn’t even looking at you, he’s more focused on picking his the nail of his index finger.
“you can’t— you can’t come tomorrow. i’m sorry, i know it’s quite late to tell you, but.. yeah,” he trails off, voice low. he still isn’t looking at you, hasn’t done since he asked you to sit with him. it feels dismissive, it feels wrong. it feels like a completely different person in front of you.
“have i done something? we were so excited to bake with the kids and sell their cakes,” you plead, reminding him that just yesterday, you were both so happy about the event.
“look— it’s.. it’s a parent event, yeah?” daniel lets out, cringing at his words. he hates that he’s listening to her, he doesn’t even agree with the decision, but something is telling him he has to.
then again maybe he shouldn’t, because the moment he finally looks up, he sees the saddened look on your face. he couldn’t read every emotion you seemed to portray— you looked upset, hurt and maybe.. betrayed? fuck.
“and— and please believe me when i say you do such a great job looking after them,” he starts, raising his hands as he goes to ramble out something to save his ass.
but you interrupt him with a dry laugh, shutting your eyes as you take a deep breath in. your head falls, and you stare down at your trembling hands that lay atop your thighs. suddenly your vision gets blurry and— oh, the tears have started.
daniel’s heart breaks as he sees the tears welling in your eyes, and he reaches out to comfort you. he wasn’t expecting it to be reciprocated well, but he wasn’t expecting you to completely pull away from him.
“sweetheart—” “don’t sweetheart me, daniel,” you snap, licking your suddenly dry lips. “i thought— i thought that maybe..” you started, daniel’s heart cracking even more at the wobble in your voice. “fuck— i really thought things were moving into a new chapter. i thought that the kids were seeing me as something more than just.. a babysitter. i thought you were starting to see me as something more than a fuck every now and then, like it was in the beginning.”
daniel gapes at your words, and shit. he hadn’t even thought about how the whole situation would have looked without context. but then again, would it have been better with it? it was too late to find out now, anyways.
“no— no, you know it’s not like that,” he tells you firmly, going to reach a hand out for you to comfort you, but he was taken aback when you abruptly stood up.
“i think i’m going to go,” you told him, not allowing nor wanting to hear the rest of what he had to say. as soon as you walked out the living room, he could only stare at the floor in disbelief.
he was trying so hard to obey to his ex, that he was completely disregarding you— his current partner’s— feelings. what the fuck was wrong with him?
he was brought back to reality when you had shouted upstairs to the kids, telling them you had to head back to your own house tonight— that there was some leftover work you had to do. daniel turned his head to the side, watching as his kids ran downstairs to give you a big hug, whining about how they wanted you to stay.
you didn’t even spare him a glance as you said your goodbyes, and he felt like the slammed front door was the only goodbye he’d be getting.
he had really fucked it.
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okay honestly i did NOT expect it to get to 1k words.. LOL. angst just really draws me in and i get carried away!! thank you 🫠 nonnie again for this wonderful idea, you’re a godsend<3<3
part 2, perhaps? 👀
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vodika-vibes · 13 hours ago
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omg I can absolutely request something for kix, literally I'll take anything i love him so much
i'm not too fussy but maybe something hurt/comfort vibes with non-established relationship? if that takes your fancy, can be sfw or nsfw however it works out
love your writing sm :)
Watching Over You
Summary: ou know that Kix is “dealing” with his new truth by not dealing with it, and you know it’s only a matter of time before he falls apart. You’ll be there for him, until he no longer needs you.
Pairing: Pre Pirate!Kix x GN!Reader
Word Count: 1113
Warnings: Kix is straight up not having a good time.
A/N: So, this could be seen as platonic or pre-romantic, but I'm happy with it, but that might just be because it's Kix. Anyway, I hope you like it!
Click HERE to be added to my taglist
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“Alright, we’re all set,” You say as you step out of the shop while tugging your new gloves over your hands, “You sure you don’t need anything while we’re here?”
“From Nar Shaddaa?” Kix asks, as he tears his gaze away from a stall selling, probably stolen, speeders. “Hard pass. How do you know those are going to be any good?”
“Leather gloves are leather gloves, babe.” You counter as you hold your, now glove-covered, hands in front of your face, “They don’t need to be the best leather gloves in the galaxy, they just need to be able to protect my hands from the cold.”
Kix huffs, “You should let me run some blood tests. There’s no reason for you to be cold all of the time–”
“Hard pass, Doc.” You counter, “If I’m dying from some blood disease, I don’t want to know.”
Kix sighs again, and finally focuses his attention on you, “You’re impossible.”
“And yet still so adorable.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
“Thanks! I will.”
He shoots you a look, and you grin at him, “Come on, Kix. Let’s get out of here before the Hutts take offense at our presence.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He falls into step next to you, while you chatter his ear off about anything and everything that crosses your mind.
In the almost year that you’ve known, and traveled, with Kix, you’ve learned that he doesn’t like quiet. When there’s too much quiet he gets lost in his own mind, and starts spiraling.
And so, you fill the silence with stories, with mindless chatter, with music or movies or shows. Anything and everything you can do to make his suffering a little easier, you will do.
Honestly, you’ve never spoken so much in your life as you have in the past year.
You stop mid-sentence, when you glance to the side and realize that Kix is no longer walking with you. Quickly, you scan the crowd around you, and you quickly find him.
At first, you’re not sure what caught his attention, but as you approach him, you see what his gaze is locked on, and your heart sinks. He’s standing in front of an electronics store. An electronics store that has a massive holo showing a documentary about Darth Vader and his 501st.
Your jaw clenches and you slowly exhale, before you move to his side and wrap your arms around his arm, “Kix.” You keep your gaze on his face, on the pained, almost lost, expression that he wears when he’s lost in the past, “It’s time to go.”
He doesn’t react to your voice, but he also doesn’t stop you when you start tugging him away from the shop. And he doesn’t fight you when you walk him back to the spaceport and back to your ship.
In fact, in spite of your chatter, Kix is completely silent. 
He doesn’t say anything until you’re back on your ship. “Hey, can we wait a bit before we take off?”
You watch him for a moment, “Why?”
“I’d like a proper shower, and the water shower doesn’t work properly in space.” Kix replies.
“Mm, yeah. Okay.”
You pretend that you don’t notice him grabbing the portable holo as he heads into the fresher, and half an hour later, when you hear a quiet sob from the fresher, you turn on some music so he can have some privacy.
There’s no way for you to understand his grief.
Kix once had 2 million brothers…and now he’s alone in the galaxy. Only, he’s not alone, he has you, and he’ll continue to have you until he no longer needs you. And even then, you’ll stick around until he tells you to leave.
Personal loyalty to your friends has always been your fatal flaw, according to your old school teachers.
When he finally emerges from the fresher, his eyes are red and he looks exhausted. Bone deep exhausted.
You watch him for a moment, and then you sigh, “Kix,”
He glances at you, “I’m fine.”
“You’re not okay, Kix. And that’s okay.” You set the bowl that you were using to make some meatballs on the counter and walk over to him to take his hands in yours, “I...have given you your space, but maybe I shouldn’t have.”
“Listen, you don’t have to do this.”
You squeeze his hands, “Yes, I do. I…cannot even begin to understand the kind of loss that you suffered. I can’t. No one can. But you’re not alone in this.”
“My whole family is dead, cyare.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re alone.” You counter, “I will be here for you, for as long as you accept it. And probably longer.”
He stares at you, and then he sighs and drops his cheek on the top of your head while hooking his arms around your waist, “I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong about that too, but I can be patient with you.”
The pair of you don’t say anything for a while, “What are you making?”
“Meatballs. We’re having pasta for dinner. With homemade noodles.”
“Huh. Have you made the dough yet?”
You smile at him, “Nope, I know you like that part. The ingredients are in the fridge.”
Later, as he’s kneading the dough while you sing along to the radio and form meatballs, he turns down the music and glances at you out of the corner of his eye.
“What’s up?” You ask, without looking at him.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Whatever you need, Kix. You just need to ask.” You reply, turning to look at him with a fond smile on your face.
He’s quiet for a moment, and then he sighs, “Also…?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think you can put me in contact with Luke Skywalker? I’d like to get to know him…and maybe share some stories about his dad.”
“Mm, I don’t know if I can get you in contact with Master Skywalker, but I can probably get you in contact with General Organa-Solo.” You reply lightly, “She might be able to get you in touch with Master Skywalker.”
“...thanks, cyare.”
“Like I said, Kix. Whatever you need. For however long you need it.”
The pair of you go back to your respective projects and as you finish forming the last meatball and pull your food prep gloves off, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, “Thank you.”
You grin at him and thread your fingers with his to give his hand a squeeze, “No worries, Kix. I’ll watch over you until you’re ready to look after yourself. And then I’ll keep doing it. That’s what I do.”
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sunderwight · 11 months ago
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Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.
Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.
Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)
After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...
Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?
But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!
Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)
But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.
He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.
Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!
Except.
Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!
Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.
Except...
Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?
He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.
Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.
Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.
Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.
But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.
The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.
Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?
What's weirder, though, are the rumors.
It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.
What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.
Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!
But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?
SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.
That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.
But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--
Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.
But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.
It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.
SY is stunned.
Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?
Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.
Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.
Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.
He takes the veil off himself.
Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.
Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!
There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.
Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.
Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?
They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...
Oh what the hell!
Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#long post#of course the plot probably interferes further then#turns out that while luo binghe was desperately trying to get sy back he accidentally woke up sy's father#who for this au let's say is sj instead of tlj#sj does NOT approve of this match and also hates all the righteous cultivators (and demons... and everyone mostly...)#but he is also busy trying to resurrect yqy or something#kidnaps sy like well I missed the chance to raise you and actually that's probably for the best but now I need your blood#for Reasons#luo binghe is not a fan of this turn of events#reverse holy mausoleum arc when SY is mostly unconscious except to sometimes throw out advice and LBH is dodging traps and villains#the pining-over-the-dead-shizun arc is probably AFTER the holy mausoleum and lbh self-destructs to rescue sy from sj's plans#sy refuses to accept this outcome he decided luo binghe was NOT to die he didn't need a redemption arc he was FINE sy DECIDED#but luckily they're in the holy mausoleum so sy grabs a resurrection artifact of some kind#has to spend a few years restoring and maintaining lbh's corpse before he can get the to actually work but it's fine#he's fine everything's fine he's GOING to get lbh back lbh is NOT ALLOWED TO DIE#luckily unhinged sy results in way less collateral damage than unhinged lbh#so mostly he just fights off mbj's attempts to honorably recover his shidi's body and offer him a proper burial#while camping out in the holy mausoleum and arguing with sj's detached body parts#y'know normal healthy behavior
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alex51324 · 1 day ago
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Pie Tips post for 2024!
This year I'm thinking of adding a new thing, which is Phyllo Tarts. These are nice because they look fancy as fuck, but are actually pretty straightforward. (Assuming you're using frozen phyllo dough; I have never tried to make it by hand and have no plans to do so.)
Also it's a bunch of individual ones and not one big pie, so I can eat one for breakfast before I take everything down to Big Thanksgiving.
The first thing you need is a package of frozen phyllo dough and some butter. You'll use about a stick of butter for each six or eight phyllo sheets, which makes about a sheet-pan's worth of tarts. Thaw the dough according to the directions on the package.
Next you need sugar, spices, and nuts. The recipe I started with says, for six phyllo sheets, use 2 Tablespoons brown sugar, 2 Tablespoons white sugar, 1/2 a teaspoon each of cinnamon and allspice, and 1/4 cup of chopped pecans. Obviously, you can adjust that with whatever nuts and baking spices make sense to you, and if you're short of one kind of sugar, just use what you have and make it add up to 1/4 cup. Mix all that stuff together and have it in a bowl with a spoon. (If you're doing 8 sheets of phyllo, you may want to add an extra tablespoon of sugar and chopped nuts.)
Then you need your fruit. The recipe I started with was for peaches, but I've done it with other things. For Thanksgiving I'm doing apples, and I'm thinking of trying an experimental apples-and-cheese concept that may or may not work. Wash and dry the fruit and slice it thinly, removing cores/pits/whatever other inedible parts it has.
Get out some baking sheets--one for each batch of 6 or 8 tarts--and line them with parchment. (Foil might work too; I haven't tried it. Foil and parchment are interchangeable in some applications but not in others.)
Anyway, you start by melting a stick of butter and getting out your six (or eight) sheets of phyllo. (The box the phyllo came in will discuss the proper phyllo-handling precautions. I thought for decades that it was a lot scarier than it actually is.)
First you're going to lay out a sheet of dough and brush it with melted butter. Then stack another sheet on top, and brush it with butter and sprinkle it with about two tablespoons' worth of the sugar-and-nuts mixture from your bowl with the spoon in it.
Stack on a third sheet, butter it, and then a fourth, which you will butter and sprinkle with sugar. Follow the same pattern for sheets 5 and 6, and 7 and 8 if you're using them.
Once you're done buttering and sprinkling, you should have enough butter and sugar mixture left for one more round.
Decide whether you want to make six tarts or eight. Cut the dough into that many pieces, and then top each piece with a reasonable amount of fruit--the recipe I started with said to use three peaches for six tarts, but my peaches were really big, so I used 1/4 peach per tart.
Arrange the fruit pieces so they look nice; for instance you can put peach or apple slices in a fan shape.
Brush on the last of the butter and sprinkle on the last of the sugar mixture.
Using a spatula, carefully transfer each tart to your parchment-covered baking sheet. (You could do the stacking-and-sprinkling steps on the baking sheet, but in my experience it's messier that way.)
Put them in the oven for 15 minutes (or so) at 375 F.
And that's it! It kind of sounds like a lot all written out, but it's more complicated to explain than it is to do. The only thing is that the dough is pretty delicate--it's sort of a tissue-paper consistency--and it may take some practice to be able to pick up a sheet and add it to the stack without it falling apart. But a package of phyllo contains enough to make about 6 batches of these tarts, so if you're making fewer than that, you have loads of room for error.
Useful Tips:  Pie Edition
I am my family’s Official Pie Provider for the Thanksgiving feast, and since I’ve seen several posts of Thanksgiving advice, I thought I’d share mine.  
If you’re going to Thanksgiving at someone else’s house, pie is a great contribution that won’t require oven/stove space or otherwise throw off the host’s prep schedule–and there are plenty of easy-mode options.
This advice is mainly for those baking for omnivores; however, my extended family includes one vegan and one gluten-free person in the usual Thanksgiving crowd, so I have tips for accommodating those dietary restrictions.  
1. There’s no shame in using purchased pie crust.  For a single-crust pie, like pumpkin or pecan, the frozen ones that come in a foil pan work well.  For a double-crust pie, like apple, the refrigerated kind that you put in your own pan work better.  They’re usually near the biscuits and rolls that come in a tube. 
2. If you decide on a from-scratch pie crust, I use Betty Crocker’s recipe.  Use vegetable shortening (like Crisco), all-purpose white flour (the basic stuff that comes in a 5-pound sack) and ice-cold water.  Pastry chemistry is  delicate, so unless you’re an expert, don’t experiment with substituting different fats or flours.  (The linked recipe is already vegan; for gluten-free I do a crustless option.  I can’t speak to any other dietary restrictions, other than to urge you to seek out a piecrust recipe designed and tested for that need, rather than attempting substitutions on a standard recipe.)  
3. The secret to tender, flaky pastry is to handle it as little as possible.  Once you put the water in, you’re mixing just enough to get it to hold together.  Do your best to get it rolled out and into the pie plate in one try.  If it tears when you pick it up, try to stick it back together in the pie plate rather than rolling it out again.  
4.  Pumpkin pie is one of the easiest pies you can make!  The recipe from the Libby’s can is what everyone likes & expects at Thanksgiving.   (Feel free to use store-brand canned pumpkin–they’re all the same–but get the recipe from the Libby’s website.)  There are two common beginner mistakes with it, but I’m about to tell you how to avoid both of them: 
 First, make sure you buy evaporated milk, not condensed.  (They are right next to each other; if you’re there in the store and you aren’t 100% sure you remember which you need, grab a can of Libby’s pumpkin from the shelf and look.) 
Second, read the baking instructions the whole way through.  (You have to start it at one temperature and then turn it down.)
5. Pecan pie is just about as easy as pumpkin.  Use the recipe from the Karo syrup bottle.  (Store-brand corn syrup is fine, just get the recipe from the Karo website.)  
6.  The classic apple pie is a little more time-consuming, since you have to peel and slice the apples, but it isn’t difficult.  I use the Betty Crocker recipe.   This one is the easiest of the Thanksgiving classics to make vegan–just leave out the butter, and make sure your pie crust doesn’t contain milk.  (They usually don’t, but check just in case.)
7.  Speaking of dietary restrictions, if anyone at your Thanksgiving table eats gluten-free, you can bake some of the pumpkin pie filling separately for them.  (If you’re using a purchased crust, the recipe from the Libby’s can will probably make a little more filling than will fit anyway.)  Just put it in an oven-safe dish and stick it in the oven with the pie.  (My cousin who eats gluten-free doesn’t require cross-contamination precautions, but if you aren’t sure about the person at your Thanksgiving table, ask them!)
8. Finally, here’s another easy fruit pie recipe.  This one uses a simple from-scratch shortcrust, that you mix up and then press into the pan, so it’s a good option if you aren’t confident with pastry but don’t want to buy a pre-made crust.  The recipe is for peach pie, but you can do it with apples or pears for more of a fall flavor if you want.  Just make sure you slice them thinly & check for tenderness at the end of the baking time–being a firmer fruit, they might need a few minutes longer than the recipe says.  
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beargregor · 3 days ago
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Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪
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gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting
#kabukeo#something to bear in mind#other's art#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#r.b. sous chef gregor#namesake#i'm sorry for doing a haha funny joke reply i just like#i spent like ten minutes pacing around my house when i saw this in my inbox i'm not exaggerating#thank you for my life i love him so bad#do i need a gift art tag now i just like. i don't even know what to say#i haven't even made any actual proper posts yet i just made a silly blog i feel like i haven't done anything to earn this#to stop myself from blubbering i'm just going to respond to the tags on your rb#no problem for providing details again i think about this grown ass fucking man too god damn much but it's not a problem.#problems are only problems if you call them a problem. it's not a problem.#thank you for seeing the vision on rhino geg.#since kjh refuses to release him that just means that we can continue to acknowledge this as true and canon and there's nothing he can do#[ignore that he has a cameo in a card in game no he doesn't]#to me rosespanner is like. very much the type of guy that when you're crushing on him you try to talk to him#and then you get him to start talking about stuff he's interested in#and then before long you end up agreeing to watch something you don't care for in the slightest#solely for the purpose of having something in common to talk with him about#meanwhile he doesn't pick up on you trying to flirt with him like at all#anyway i could go on about how badly i need hex nail gregor for both bear reasons and thematic Actual reasons#but i'm pretty sure i'm about to hit the tag limit. so i'll just say thank you again for the cannibal i will treasure him forever and alway#it took me like thirty minutes to type this all out after i sat down to actually do it because i kept getting embarrassed lmao#offerings to beargregor#< gift art tag#that's it. thank you for my life once again. keep fighting the good fight soldier. we'll get this to be common fanon one day. trust.
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ozymoron · 9 months ago
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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ilkkawhat · 2 months ago
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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clubsmarties · 2 days ago
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"Well, forgive me if I've misread it but didn't seem like it was just unexpected but more like a visceral reaction." At this point he was hopped up on pain meds that he could have read her coming home looking like she did wrong. "Almost like you didn't appreciate the foreign touch." Now he was speaking to his pillow as he rearranged it the proper way. Maybe she wasn't as closed off as she seemed to have him believe.
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"No. There's no need. I just wanted the name." Wally was quick to shake his head. More like he needed that name. Things had just gotten complicated for him. Even more so than having that rookie out on the field fucking him up. Which he couldn"t help but think it was Karina's doing. He should have stayed home he began to think. "You're right. Take the day and explore. It is your vacation." Getting himself into trouble was one thing, bringing Elizabeth into it was another. Karina was still riding him over this mission that he needed time to let things cool off. The last thing he needed was to alert her to something else going wrong. As it was this report was going to have a lot redacted. He wasn't going to risk Karina knowing about Liz now that things had gotten a little out of hand with his injuries and a copycat.
As he shifted to his side he kept from screaming out in pain. This was when he finally looked up at her. The dress she had on made him stop and stare a little too long. She looked ethereal. Emerald hues sparkled as they looked at her in the dress. Well, her in general. He was quiet for a moment, smile he gave her was small yet gentle. "You look nice."
"Mm no thank you." he shook his head. Frustration was clear on his features as he still couldn't lift his left arm but he'd manage. At least this time it wasn't his spine. "If I can shuffle my way around I'll review some documents while you're out and about. If I remember the password that is. Enjoy your day, truly." He tried sounding as sincere as possible, actually wanting her to do what she was promised she would get to do. "If you don't mind, could you bring me back a muffin. Not blueberry and not anything with cinnamon sugar. I'll pay you back for it." He needed time to think and force himself to move through the pain. He could not go back looking like this. Karina would for sure pull him off with one of her bullshit reasons.
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There was a moment where she wanted to argue just for the sake of arguing. It seemed like for some reason when she was with him, she always just wanted to prove him wrong. Not want to agree with him. His reasoning left her a little speechless, it wasn't like she didn't already know that about him already but something about him saying it seemed a bit sad. Knowing how often he always left, knowing that most were not patient enough for someone who led this life. And he had become her friend, so thinking about her friend longing for something, also seemed a bit sad. the argument that loving one person was setting yourself up for failure was also at the tip of her tongue but something told her to say something else. Something nice. But she could think of not what to say to that. So she said nothing. Nothing about how she's never met someone who could do that, though that was a lie, her best friend and Anna were proof. But they were a million in one chance, surely. Content with letting it slid this once, he needed his rest anyway, she pretended that she didn't hear him say that.
A suck choice. A chuckle came from her. Perhaps it was the darkness of the room that gave her some clarity, no distracting injuried body or emerald eyes to look into to forget the fact he didn't know her. For all the time that they spent together, whether it was her choice or not, he didn't know her. How many 'suck' choices had she had to make in the years since her fathers death? Tears had stung her eyes, but she swallowed them away. After settling with Anna and Charlie, the one thing she had never done before had began to creep in. Contemplating the things she did, the people she hurt, the things she stole, the many choices that she made until that point in her life. The one thing that ate away at her, was the fact that she did not regret a single choice. The monster she had become was a necessary survival choice and given the chance to do it all over again, she would do it all over again. Albeit, maybe a few changes here and there, but she would do it all again.
The morning shower had been a moment of clarity for her. She would take the day for herself. With Wally injured, he'd have to take it easy and she could truly spend this day for herself as it had been promised. She could go into town and play tourist. Just one day couldn't hurt, she even had the perfect outfit. A nice dress she hadn't used in a year.
Once she was dressed, she took her time doing her makeup and hair. In the middle of which she heard a voice. With a small sigh, she listened and realized what this meant. "Morning," she said through the door as she finished her task. "It wasn't an ick." She said as she opened the door to look for dress sandals. "It was just unexpected. And yes. His name is Nolan." Sitting on the couch she put them on as she sighed again. "This wasn't how I was planning on spending today but I'll go down to the beach and talk him up."
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Once her sandals were on, she stood up and ran her hands down the front of her dress making sure that none of it had bunched up. "You know, you owe me. This was supposed to be a vacation, now I have to go and flirt with hot surfer guys to get you your kid." It was better to act like she didn't care, she learned that apathy would get her further, and caring would only slow her down and get her killed. She needed to get her head in the game, this was a different stadium and she did not have home-field advantage. "Do you need anything before I head out? I'm going to make some coffee and toast before I leave. Should I have Guillermo take you back to your room?"
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no1ryomafan · 1 year ago
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I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)
I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.
I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)
#meg text#getter robo#au rambles#I think I rotate her so much because my friend and I talked about her relationship with Go#like it makes so much sense if among all the universal constants in getter one would be Kei is important to Go#granted the shift from “she’s my love interest” to “she’s my sister” will never not be so fucking drastic 💀#also I get why in SVN she wasn’t there for time and idk where you’d fit her but man Kei deserves a more significant role#hence why I imagine her in Michirus role because even if she also had it ROUGH some iterations knew how to use her#also Kei already has a established relationship w gai mainly thanks to arma so- Sho deserves to speak with her too#they can be besties who rat out on the boys but still have high respect for hayato#granted I know the real reason why this hasn’t happened is because Kei is a minor character and “no proper go manga adaptation??”#at this point I don’t expect a anime but it be nice if Go team got used in a spin off bc we had a good run of OG team#I’d also want them to use arc in spin offs too but I understand their more- finicky characters to use#given their main thing is their actual descendants of existing characters and one of them is our first boyo (ryoma)#if you took out the bloodline stuff it make them feel redundant because you can just use go team for that#also honestly despite how mixed arc anime is for everyone they really don’t need to be in anything after this#other then wishing they get something with nicer animation but that’s what’s SRW is for#(also back to Kei I’m a bit upset she did not get a cameo in arc even if she’d probably look horrendous it was just salt in the wound)#(GAI LITERALLY SAIDS WHEN HE DIES IN THE MANGA HE SEES KEI WHERE WAS SHE WITH ALL THE GETTER GHOSTS?)#actually Michiru wasn’t there too so it was probably just woman erasure /hj
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izzy-b-hands · 3 months ago
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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m1d-45 · 2 years ago
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you understand me. you get it. creator might be having a fuckshit time but at least you can be a creature! but i’m also imagining… imagine just hanging out with your favorite characters as some kind of little animal bc sure they’d kill you if they knew you were the person they’re hunting down but pets and scritches are so nice…… worth risking your life for? yes. god yes. absolutely.
is this days late? yeag. i’ve been busy doing Things and god there are so many things to be done - teddy anon
i thought your last ask abt this was like two-three days ago but…. no…. i posted it ystderay…. huh-?
anyway you’re still so right. be a snowfox and hang out a albedo in his lab. shift into a cat and stick around the angels share. diluc let’s you stay. be a bird and fuck w the wanderer. just stay away from the narukami shrine.
like i…. if it was some sort of defense mechanism or like something you fell back on when injured…. razor following the sound of whimpering to you, an injured wolf pup, your form small in your weakened state. you can’t convince me zhongli wouldn’t help a bird with a hurt leg. beidou checks w the crew before saying yeah, kazuha can bring his friend of a stray onboard, since cats always land on their feet don’t they?
oh, and good luck on your Things!
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kikuism · 2 years ago
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just finished jade war. Um ‼️
#girl. i have never been more stressed reading a book oh my goddddd those final few chapters had me by the fucking throat#i gasped countless times. i had to put the book down and PACE and that never happens ever .......#every moment i wasn't reading my gut was roiling with anxiety wondering what was going to happen next#fonda lee had me on the edge of my fucking seat that's for sure#okay im going to talk about spoilers now so look away if you must#THE DEATH SCARES WITH RU AND WEN AND ANDEN HAD ME SCREAMINGGGGG I WAS SO SCARED WTF#also we Love the poetic cinema of anden’s climactic scene in the first book being him taking away life and then in this book#it's him giving life back#LOVE!!!!!!! and he was always good at channeling so it ties in beautifully#also this is sooooo trivial but even though i was actually kind of heartbroken he broke things off with cory—#i hope he can try something with lott 👀 like. please....he had a crush on this emo kid for the longest time back at the academy. so cute#but i mean they're two very different people now so i'd understand if that doesn't happen but now that anden is back in janloon i really#hope he and lott can like. spend more time together and get to catch up#ANYWAY!!!!!! i need to talk about BERO bc for some reason i ended up getting sooo attached to him#like yeah he's an awful street rat who's done awful things but he's just trying to make something out of his life#also Love how he's bestowed with such turbulent luck as it's stated over and over again like literally Anything could happen to bero#but i was kinda sad when mudt jr was murdered (that scene gave me chills btw it was so horrific...green bones don't mess around)#bc he and bero Were kinda sorta friends and i loved their constant bickering and how they did come to appreciate each other's company :(#also obsessed with how the books start and end with bero like oh shit i wonder what godawful scheme he's trying to pull off now#boy....just let it rest!!!! you have a proper job at a restaurant now you could make a normal life for yourself!!!!#now he wants to ruin the clans by joining the rebellion.....of courseeeee#anyway bero is a delight and i love seeing where fate takes him he really is a plaything of the gods#god i still can't believe kehn is dead :(((( are you fucking kidding me. AND MARO. that was fucked up.#also hellooooo i need ayt madashi pov chapters right nowwwww she's such an enigma she's so scary i need to know what goes on in her head#also. girl. the cycle of violence is going to keep happening over and over as long as rhe clans still stand :/#the mountain and no peak are just going to keep trying to get the upper hand on each other no matter how much they talk about peace#maybe i agree with and support bero after all hfkshfhdh maybe a rebellion is what's needed after all#bc they're just going to keep going at each other's throats#i need jade legacy right nowwww hopefully i get it from the library in the next few days
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moonfurthetemmie · 2 years ago
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Moonfur!
I made this :)
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Haha. Been emotional neglected until slash. Even if she was to hurt. She would tend wound even if it's for her own amusement and entertainment. She is gentle like a real parent
:((
Poor kid
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