#I’d also want them to use arc in spin offs too but I understand their more- finicky characters to use

[no1ryomafan]

I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.

I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)

[jadesea33]

I read @9lives2mics post this morning and felt like it pretty much summed up my thoughts and feelings about all of this so I wasn’t going to share what I wrote yesterday. But Shalaka encouraged me to add my voice to the chorus and she’s right: if we want something to change, we need to speak up about it, so here we go.

I’m going to start with something positive: I’m happy that Carol will be confronting some of her past trauma and it’s clear that Melissa is too, based on everything she’s said during promo for the show. This has been the main focus of her comments. I believe she wants to give Carol personal closure and I respect her for that. But I’m at the point where it seems likely to me that she agreed to do the spin-off for Carol. Not Caryl. Not because she doesn’t care about Caryl but because it seems that what happens with Caryl may be beyond her control.

People say we should trust her. And I do. But people also seem to forget that she’s only one woman in a room full of men. She doesn’t get to decide everything (unfortunately, because I’d be 100% on board with THAT show). I imagine it’s more likely she gets to say what she wants for Carol but she’s not going to be able to decide the arc for Caryl on her own. Norman’s made himself wishy-washy enough about it all over the years that I honestly have no idea how he feels about romantic canon but if the showrunner doesn’t want it, it’s not going to happen. And David Zabel has said he doesn’t want it.

And trust me, I get that the source of all this is a clickbait article written by someone who apparently has proven themselves to be anti-Caryl but my feelings are based entirely on the direct quotes from Zabel. I actually didn’t read any of the article except the quotes. So unless he was grossly misquoted or was using the world’s worst deflection tactics, he does not want romantic canon for Caryl. I see no ambiguity in what he said. No room for interpretation.

And not only that, but he wants to set up a Daryl/Isabelle romance that undermines Daryl’s character and his relationship with Carol. And I just can’t tolerate that. Carol is going to cross an entire damn ocean to search for him and what? Find him experiencing “mutual interest” in a relationship that’s “more than friendship” with a manipulative nun he barely knows? Is Daryl even going to be happy Carol’s there? Is he going to show her the love and appreciation she deserves or is he going to be too busy with his “feelings” for another woman? Are we going to have to watch Carol comfort Daryl through his man pain over a forced relationship that never made sense and that took place while Carol was risking her life, battling her claustrophobia and confronting her personal trauma in order to find her “friend”? None of that is anything I have the slightest desire to watch.

I could possibly still give AMC my money without romantic canon. I could potentially watch Carol working through her trauma with the person closest to her in the world by her side if it highlighted their bond in a deep, meaningful way. But the shipbaiting is going too far for me. It disrespects the relationship that Carol and Daryl have shared for the last 14 years and it disrespects the fanbase that wants to tune in to see their bond continue it’s natural course, to see them nurture it and watch it grow.

If AMC wants someone like me to watch this show, they need to find a new showrunner, one who actually understands and respects Carol, Daryl and Caryl. Because it’s clear to me now that David Zabel doesn’t. I know filming has started on S3 but if we get a S4 and beyond, a new showrunner could still potentially clean up the mess that Zabel seems intent on creating.

Okay, if you actually read this far, thank you. And please, I know it can be hard to speak out. It causes me great anxiety to do so, especially when I know that some of my fellow Carylers will not like what I say. I fear some of the friendships I’ve formed in this fandom may be strained now because of differing opinions and that breaks my heart. But ultimately I care too deeply about these characters to remain silent when I see a great disservice being done to them. If you see that disservice too, please speak up about it. Will it make a difference? I don’t know. But we’ll never know if we don’t try. Sending love to you all. ❤️

[detachable-tits]

Life is strange double exposure review:

I wasn’t sold on the trailers and tid-bits leading up to double exposure so I instead watched someone play the game, but since the life is strange games are more story driven, I’d say I still got a similar experience if I had actually played the game. Anyways in my opinion this new instalment has absolutely killed the series for me😭

Pros:

•the start of the game actually wasn’t that bad, the new setting and the supernatural murder mystery was a good angle. And a good spin on the first game with Rachel amber, expect this time with more of a supernatural twist.

•The characters like Moses and ESPECIALLY Gwen were my favourite characters. (Gwen is such a big hear me out I’m sorry, like 😮‍💨) we’re great and I enjoyed their time on screen.

•graphics are good as expected

•Chloe’s character (even tho she never shows up) is done so well! If you chose to sacrifice Arcadia bay Chloe builds upon her character arc in the first game, she’s learning to live with the consequences of her actions and learn that she has an impact on others and that other’s feelings matter. And in the texts in this game she states she wants to look toward the future. Very good character building👌

Cons:

•The ending of the game, chapters 4-5 were horrendous imo. It fundamentally went against what life is strange is about.

•my MAIN criticism is the way they end the game. I’ve never been a big superhero fan, I couldn’t care less for them (except deadpool he’s funny) but that’s why I love life is strange cause it’s a realistic depiction of what people would really do if they got superpowers. Max tries to question why she got hers but can’t come up with a clean answer. In these games the power feels more like a burden rather than a blessing. The focus is more on the relationships between the characters. I also love how in the first game it feels like max is somehow not meant to have this power but nonetheless she does, and whenever she uses it it just destroys reality. However in this new game it goes too much towards that marvel vibe in my opinion. Making safi evil with her powers made kinda sense? But the way the set up like a future battle between safi and max was just too outlandish for me. In the first game max doesn’t fight crime, she just gets on with her life and tries to deal with her strange new ability. However in this one she acts like the superhero of the local town.

•The way that multiple people know in the game that max has powers puts me off, I like when only one or 2 characters know about the power as it makes the bond between them stronger and more meaningful. But in this one max just feels like your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

•the whole storm sequence I interpreted as a nightmare, like the first game. Almost like the physical embodiment of time is taunting max. But in this one the fact that all the characters were really there and experienced the weird time line thingy makes it feel like a high stakes endgame scenario and not a person’s inner struggles. And the fact that not everyone is traumatised from that beyond belief is unbelievable. They just kinda like “oh damn that was weird”

•Giving safi powers was… a choice. I didn’t hate it and it was an interesting avenue to explore but I didn’t exactly love it either. We as the player know that there are more than one person in this universe who has powers but the magic of being the only one is lost when these super powered people interact with each other. The shapeshifting for safi was also a bit out there. Max Daniel and Alex’s powers work I feel like cause it’s a force and not a physical change as their power. But now that safi has shapeshifting It just feels too ridiculous. Like how could you hide that?

• dialogue was really bad at times especially when safi goes “I am my own mom” 💀

• I don’t understand what the thing safi’s mum kept secret from her was. Was it the fact that she cancelled her book? That seems a bit extreme to pull a gun out on your mum cause she cancelled your book. And then she was like “ everyone lies to me!” Girl WHO!?!?

•max is made into a bit of a dick head in this game. She wants to keep Chloe around even though Chloe doesn’t need her rewind, but she keeps insisting it upon Chloe. And it’s cause of this that Chloe can’t be around max anymore cause max can’t focus on the future and reminds Chloe too much of her past mistakes when Chloe needs to look to the future.

Anyways sorry for rambling so much but if you read it all thank you for listening to this girl groan on about how she didn’t like the newest lesbian powers game.

Anyways I give this game a 5/10

At least we got this absolute gem out of it

[borreloadsavagedragon]

alright tell all of us your thoughts about kaito :)

I did not forget… I have just been con crunching but now I’m free to become the worse

Minor Zexal and Arc V spoiling ahoy

How I feel about this character:

Oh no you’ve opened a floodgate… welcome to oversharing hour with Jay

I’m very normal about Kaito, just ignore the two full cosplays + the EVA foam Orbital work in progress I have mapped out, the wall scroll that’s at my work computer, my ita pin bag, and the fact that I’ve done everything I can to make his deck competitive viable and god dammit am I still trying please print this deck a god damn banger starter, Konami, I can’t keep doing this without your help-

Short story but I used to be suuuuper YGO Vrains favoring from 2020 into early 2022, but I found myself drifting from it because one can only tolerate so much subtweeting and catty behavior over personal preferences, and I’d never really finished Zexal before, just has a half baked idea how it ends, like I watched a chunk of it when it first aired but never finished and proceeded to forgot most of it, so I picked it back up after deciding to pick up Kaito to write in an RP server with some friends because I remembered liking him and… well I didn’t stand a chance when I got back to him fjdhdhd

I deeply relate to the theme of self-inflicted loneliness because it’s easier to be by yourself, just getting walked out on, left in the dark, or even being shafted for reasons out of my own control, I really get that

Also taking on too much if it means the people you love will be ok even if the ending result is you’re not ok, where he is after his Duel with Yuma at the end of Zexal I and getting to repair all of those relationships he was damaged by is where I want to get to in life

Bonus fact that’s minor spoilers for another spin off, but I’m… not a huge fan of his portrayal in Arc V, I like that he’s there and acknowledge that it’s a different Kaito and I love all Kaito Tenjos as they exist, including the Structures Cosplayer, but… yeah, not a fan, I’m a big fan of showing vs telling and Arc V to me feels like it’s ALL telling for all of its supporting cast most of the time

All the people I ship romantically

The better question is who I don’t honestly because that list is far smaller, but if I had to pick favorites I’m very partial to Ryouga, Mizael, and Edo-

Something about rivals to lovers resonates with my very being, even if Edo is less of a rival and more of an enemy until Arc V does it’s usual-

I’ve written for Challenge and AntiHero both already actually, my docs is 99% Challenge Wips that are slowly coming along tbh, and GalaxyMaster takes more time to write since most of those are… you know what I’m getting at LOL

I stg Gallop's one mission was to make Kaito Tenjo a dating sim protagonist because I have no other excuse for why they gave him so many boyfriends and even girlfriends across Zexal and Arc V, Yugioh’s surprising most eligible bachelor

My non-romantic OTP

nervous laughter

Chris.

I like to think of them more as divorcees who are just fine staying apart

Also gestures vaguely at the first answer

My unpopular opinion

I don’t know if I have many tbh, besides disliking Arc V’s rendition of him / not liking mentor at all lol— Like maybe how I genuinely believe he’s the strongest rival bc his record was the best even after he was put up against forces behind human understand and was even considered dying majority of the time of Zexal while remaining arguably mostly human, Zexal’s wack

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Oh my god, the duel I hate the most in all of YGO is Kaito’s duel against Heartland because not letting Kaito win against someone who’s become representative of the garbage he was put through is SO UNSATISFYING

Yuma coming in and finishing it up is symbolic in its own right because of the importance of bonds, but to me that was and always should have been Kaito’s moment, let Yuma and Astral show up literally any other time and I’m fine with it

ALSO WE DON'T GET THE RYOUGA AND KAITO GRUDGE MATCH, though Kaito solos everytime, I’m so sorry Ryouga

[fanfixes]

I JUST WANNA TALK ABOUT BAD PRESS & THE POSSIBLE PITFALLS OF BRIDGERTON (IN GENERAL)

I’ve held it in for long enough. This is a rant.

I didn’t become a fan of Bridgerton until Season 2. Sure I watched it, because I was interested in Luke Thompson’s Benedict, I read a couple of the books before the series was released and so, yeah - I was interested BUT I wasn’t hooked.

I, just like many others, fell in love with it SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE of Kate Sharma. Simone Ashley’s performance was beautiful, engaging, enlightening, riveting. SHE made me want to tune into what the show has in store for later seasons, when Season 1 didn’t cut it for me. 

I could feel her characters burdens, the unfairness lodged on her shoulders, the loneliness of having to control the chaos around you and the overall injustice of dealing with a spoilt sister in a spoilt society. 

All the actors in Season 2 did a great job, but Simone Ashley was the main actress. Yet, she wasn’t treated as such. 

LOOKING BACK AT HOW THEY HANDLED HER INTRODUCTION TO SOCIETY, IT WAS PLAINLY BAD PRESS. 

She didn’t have enough interviews with Jonathan Bailey alone. They paired them along with Charithra Chandran / Nicola Coughlan. Which didn’t make sense.

So, fans started making reels, cropping Charithra out because their focus was on #Kanthony (which, might I add, made me feel bad for Charithra).

There were promotional posters / pictures / interviews of the casts WITHOUT Simone Ashley. The focus was on Edwina, Eloise, Penelope, Colin. If you want to include them, great, BUT WHERE ARE YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS?

Alluding to my post on Rings of Power, I get that interviews and cast appearances cost money, so its understandable that Netflix couldn’t afford as many as ROP did BUT given the notion, shouldn’t they have arranged the pairings wisely? 

Many fans, like me, depend on these interactions. I’d say that they are an investment to the show as a whole. Failing to know which pairings should have focus and more press is simply just... bad management.

WHICH DIDN’T MAKE ME SUSPICIOUS OF THE SHOW’S TRUE NATURE AND COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR THE THINGS THEY (ALLEGEDLY) STAND FOR, UNTIL THE EXECS STARTED BREAKING THE FORTH WALL AND DISHED OUT THEIR RECKLESS OPINIONS.

Shonda’s favourite couple on Bridgerton is King George and Queen Charlotte. They are not even a pairing in the books. I get that she wrote the first episode of the spin-off, but that answer is so dense. Fans know, when anyone asks you which is your favourite Bridgerton couple, you go for the main 8 love stories, not the side characters. 

The Execs don’t know how to play their audience. If you’ve come this far, you already know how disrespectful the execs have been to Jane Austen, Simone Ashley and to canon Bridgerton arcs. They are reckless with their opinions, offensive, dismissive, rude and arrogant about the shows short lived success. I say short lived, because the more these execs speaks, the more I become sceptical about how they’re going to treat S3 and subsequent seasons.

SHONDA CALLED SIMONE’S PORTRAYAL OF KATE RIDING A HORSE WHORE-ISH. This is the most recent exchange and reckless comment the exec dished. It also spurred me on to write this post. This is shocking coming from a woman whose platform is diversity - I hope it isn’t telling us what production really views their first female lead of colour.

The show is losing its take on diversity which they made their selling point and banged on endlessly in interviews. With the unnecessary character additions, who are mostly white (in a season where the leads are white), will eventually water down the whole mission they set out to achieve. Sure, your BG actors, one or two of the grandchildren (who won’t have lines) would be POCs, but DIVERSITY means these POC characters do more than serve ornamental roles. Otherwise, how are you different from any other show?

I AM AFRAID THAT THE SHOW IS LOSING ITS VISION (or worse, that I was deceived about it from the start)

Too many side plots - Season 2 implicitly sets up Penelope’s family, not her story (mind you) because whatever happened to them in S2 can be easily made irrelevant in S3 (or already is). It was that whole charade with the Featherington’s that made the pace of the show choppy and reduced the amount of time we had to uncover Kate’s story. Kate isn’t just a wife to another Bridgerton, she will be the Viscountess Bridgerton, taking over for her mother-in-law. It is a vital maternal role in the family. Nothing about her past is showcased. In fact, I’d say, with the presence of Lady Mary and her parents, Edwina had more story than Kate.

Skipping Benedict’s Season will ruin and mess-up timelines / storylines / main character arcs, the family dynamics... I can’t even. I mean, Eloise is supposed to be close to Sophie before she meets Phillip. She runs away after Pen get’s married. With Pen marrying first, and Sophie no where to be found, how is the story going to flow? (and this is just one of the many examples).

Irrelevant, unneeded, character additions to the Bridger-verse - It happened with Sienna, Theo and will happen with all the NEW characters announced to be in S3. Look I get it, book-to-series adaptations need more character fillers, BUT this isn’t a normal book to movie adaptation. It sorta works as a limited series BECAUSE the leads change every season. When this happens, what happens to these additional characters is, they could very well disappear. And that story left unaired or incomplete becomes a waste of emotions and screen time. It could also, unfortunately, cause audiences to lose interest in the programme. 

ON THAT NOTE, THE STORY IS ABOUT THE BRIDGERTONS and THEY SHOULD’VE FOCUSED ON THAT! They have a wealth of material to explore  the individual Bridgertons personalities. Instead of keeping them as background characters until “their love story climaxes” (to quote Luke Newton) why not draw them out now?! The actors claim that they’re not BG characters / not waiting in the wings before their season, which I agree, but there isn’t enough about them that we know off for audiences (specially those who haven’t read the books) to be invested in. Not everyone does character studies, not everyone is going to obsessively rewind their scenes to notice their subtle character notes.

In fact, fans love the family interactions. ABC, Ben and Eloise, Anthony with Gregory/Hyacinth. CMON! 

This brings me back to the point that the show-runners have no idea what works or what the fans want because THEY ARE NOT LISTENING.

If they focused more on all the other Bridgertons, they’ll realise that viewers have someone to root for, to enjoy before their season as leads come, and they’ll be more invested knowing that its worth investing into. 

Netflix has been going on a cancellation spree, and while I doubt Bridgerton will be one to be cancelled soon, I fear it might stop at Season 4, REGARDLESS of all of Shonda’s promises or desires to have 8 seasons. To me those promises have become empty. Which is so sad, seeing that the show has so much potential to be one of a kind. 

The wrong people are running it, as seen more and more by the audacity and lack of understanding the execs, whom the cast and crew have done nothing but been respectful to in their interviews, have shown.

Keep in mind, that regardless of how good a show is, if people don’t like the execs, it can be a cause for a show’s failure. Rings of Power is a good example to go by. Don’t worry Darling, which had a lot of negative press during its promotion caused the movie to fail, even when it wasn’t that bad of a movie, to be fair. 

Why is it, that execs, after reaching a certain level of power and influence fail to guard their callousness?

!!!Pride is the bane of their existence, and funnily enough, the object of their all their desire!!!

[razorblade180-heated]

Too much

[It’s a smut]

It was a normal day at Beacon. Same old classes. Same old delicious lunches. Same old Blake. Well, not entirely. The girl had a problem, a snag if you will. She was currently on her bed in her school uniform, sulking more than she usually does. She patiently waited for the door to open. As she did, The words of Weiss Schnee replayed through her brain…

xxxxx

“YOU ARE DATING J-” The heiress’s mouth was covered quickly by Blake, who looked panicked.

“Ssssshhhh! What part of secret did you not understand!?” Blake said through her teeth, “we don’t want attention.”

Weiss swatted the hand away and whispered, “Sorry, but you should know better than to reveal truths out of the blue like that by now. This is crazier than the last one to be frank.”

Blake wasn’t too thrilled in Weiss’s choice of words in regards to White Fang secret, but now wasn’t the time to bicker. Blake needed her help. “Weiss, I’d like…advice. Also a bit of help.”

“Okay? On what exactly?” The concern in her voice was palpable.

Blake’s face grew a little red. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. “Any...any ideas to get a guy to sleep with you?”

Now it was Weiss’s turn to blush. “Just who do you-” she lowered her voice in consideration, “just who do you think I am!? Why are you coming to me for this!?”

“Yang gets too involved in people’s business and Ruby is...she’s Ruby! I love the girl but this is not the topic she can handle.”

Weiss looked Blake up and down. Why the girl needed help was beyond Weiss’s comprehension. It was shocking Blake wasn’t beating admires back with a stick! “How long have you been dating Jaune?” She asked.

“About...five months now? That sounds right.”

Weiss could not believe her ears. Five months, how has no one noticed!? How didn’t she notice? Then again, she did find it a bit out of character of Jaune when he stopped all of romantic efforts. Looks like this was the reason why. It might’ve been her ego talking but it stung a little to know a guy moved to the next letter in her team’s name. Would Yang have been next if Blake, hold on. A thought just occurred.

“Did you ask him out, or did he ask you?” Weiss was very curious about this

Blake blinked. That was an unexpected question. “Me, why”

“No reason.” Well that actually made Weiss feel a bit better. Not that she cared or anything! “Why do you need help with...that? I would think he’d be all over you. Can’t you, ya know? Drop hints?” A terrible expression hit Weiss. “Please tell me that dunce is ignoring basic signs?” She groaned. It would only make sense.

Blake must’ve agreed because she laughed a little. “Hehe, No Weiss, he isn’t.” Blake rubbed her head in embarrassment, “He’s well aware I’m down for sex. With all the neck kisses and body touches, the message is clear.” Blake saw Weiss’s face scrunch up. “What?” She said defensively.

“It’s unpleasant thinking about Jaune in anything less than his armor. You know that hoodie apparently has a rabbit on it, right?”

“Grow up, and that hoodie is fine. You walk around pretending to be taller than 4’11”

“I just like these shoes, and I’m five feet even when they’re off!” She proclaimed, “What is the matter then? Does he not find you physically- actually, don’t answer that.” Weiss didn’t need to know any physical reactions from Jaune. “Just tell me what typically happens as safely as possible.”

Blake took a deep sigh before speaking. “It’s usually the same song and dance. We go on dates, have a good time, find a place to get cozy, I start making moves, he starts building a little momentum, but then he stops.” Even with the bow on, Blake’s ears were clearly drooping. “He just apologies and says he can’t!”

Weiss raised a brow, “That’s it?”

“Yeah.” Blake nodded, “that’s the long and short of it.”

The problem sounded simple, and normal. Like… too normal. Weiss knew besides herself, Blake was the smartest on their team. Although not sociable, Blake could read a room better than Yang or Ruby. “Blake…” Weiss said, befuddled, “How is Jaune on these dates? Attitude wise, like is he nervous?”

“No, not really. We just talk and have fun. In the beginning we were both a little awkward but now we talk and act like we’ve known each other for a long time.”

Now Weiss was a little jealous at Jaune this time! Five months was all it took to get Blake chatting like an old friend!? The amount of groundwork Weiss and the terror sisters had to put in for Blake to even go out into town casually with them was at least two months' work! Now she’s over here trying to sleep with the guy, a thing nobody saw coming.

“I gotta say, this whole thing feels a little wild. To think five months of secrecy lead to this conversation? If he’s as calm you say then I can’t think of many reasons to panic. I mean I get someone having a little anxiety when giving up your first time, but I hear that’s mainly on the girl’s part. You’re all calm though.” Weiss said. She wasn’t expecting Blake’s eyes to shift away slightly, as if the girl was hiding something. “You are calm, right?”

“Huh? Yeah I’m totally calm” Blake clucked her tongue, “because...it’s not my first time.” Her body swayed back and forth out, trying to finish her sentence. “I’ve been in a couple relationships before this. Some good, some abysmal.”

Yet another surprise to add to the list. “Wait, you’re not a virgin?” Weiss couldn’t believe this. Who knew Blake surpassed her in many social and mature experiences. The way she usually was, Weiss couldn’t imagine Blake being that way. The girl once spent an entire weekend reading in the dorm room. This new information though made Weiss come to realize that she previously assumed. She just had to ask one more question. “Does Jaune know that?”

“Of course.” Blake said, feeling a little insulted. “I wouldn’t lie to him or not be open enough to talk about my past.

Weiss sighed in disbelief at her faunus friend. Perhaps her assessment of Blake reading a room well was a little off. As much as Jaune had been annoying to Weiss, she felt bad for his clearly anxious soul. “Blake, I expect this kind of cluelessness from our leader.”

Blake looked rough left and to the right as if anyone else was there to explain. “Uhhh what?” She said, actually a little stumped.

Weiss put her hands together like she was dealing with an interviewer with zero experience. “Let’s put it this way. You have asked me why your boyfriend, who is most definitely a virgin, shys away from sleeping with you? A beautiful girl who’s already had experience. Ya don’t think he’s you know, incredibly nervous of not meeting pre-established expectations? You know you’re boyfriend, Jaune Arc, the same Jaune Arc that worries about everything else in his life going well?”

Blake just...sat quietly for a moment. Her brain wasn’t even having a gears turning moment. She was upset with herself that those gears weren’t spinning from the beginning. There was nothing to figure out at all! She had simply glanced over that possibility! Her hands held her head as she let out a long groan. “Uuuuugggg What is wrong with me? Of course he fucking is. I’ve been so caught up thinking I was doing something physically wrong, or I was wrong.”

A part of that sounded like baggage. Baggage Weiss wasn’t about to unpack. “Well, question solved. Unfortunately, he’s right to worry. I can’t imagine anybody giving a good first performance. Has he even seen you fully naked?”

“We’ve sent pictures, and did a bit of touching. That second one though was always in...un-private areas, so clothes stayed on.

“Did you just tell me you two are doing things in public?” Weiss criticized. At this point, the girl known as Blake Belladonna might as well be a stranger. Weiss didn’t know this person! Her Blake was not this forward. When did they have time for any of this!? Was she not actually reading in the dorm room!!? “Also, I may not have ever slept with a woman, but I’m sure seeing their assets over a screen is less stressful than in my face.

Blake uncovered her face. “Explain Yang walking out the shower naked then?”

“That’s not stress you see, that’s envy. Next time she does it I’m turning the droplets on her into ice, and stop changing the subject!”

Blake threw her arms up, “Having a secret relationship means not having access to our dorms. That actually brings us to the favor I mentioned…”

“No, I will not give you money for a hotel.” Weiss deadpanned.

Blake’s jaw fell open. “Why not!? It doesn’t have to be a suite.”

Weiss rubbed the bridge of her knows as she thinks about her bank account. “No one carries enough cash to pay for a hotel room. Theoretically I could swipe my credit card, but then the bill is now in my purchase history. I do not need to explain in any capacity why I’m staying in a hotel. A person is bound to assume what I’m doing is exactly what you want to do. Nah uh, can’t do it.” Blake put her head down. Weiss couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. She’s clearly been putting in the effort to sleep with Jaune, for some reason. Well he was...no no, that’s a rabbit hole that could stay closed. “How long do you need with him?” Weiss asked, committed to solving this problem for the sake of already being included.

Blake’s head popped up quickly . “Two, no, three hours. Give or take an extra half hour.”

Weiss blushes, “wh..why so long?”

“Just in case…” Blake mumbled, “Anything could happen.”

“For three hours? What are you, an animal in heat?” It didn’t even take a second for Weiss to realize how fucked up that question was. She placed her hand over Blake’s mouth as her friend's eyes were getting hostile. “Sorry! That was unrelated to anything, honest!”

Blake was kind enough to believe Weiss at her word, but still petty enough to lick the girl’s hand, making her shriek.

“Eeeiiik!!! Blake!”

“Three hours please.”

Weiss sighed, “Fine. Getting Ruby and Yang to stay out of there that long is doable. They always wanna drag me around to do things that will give me ‘culture’ as they put it. How are you gonna handle Jaune?”

“I….good question.”

Yep, definitely doesn’t read the room well. “Blake, just be easy with him. Reassuring words, all that stuff. It’s his first after all.”

Blake was surprised by the advice. “Wow, that’s really sweet of you to care about him like that.”

Weiss crosses her arms and turns away. “I’m doing this for you, not him. And for me. Jaune moping is way worse than when he’s confident. Hmph!”

xxxxx

“Come on Jaune! What’s taking so long?” Blake thought, fidgeting on her bed. A click of the door lock made her jump to her feet as it opened slowly. Jaune’s head peaked into the room, confused.

“Umm hello?”He looked to the right and saw Blake. “Oh, hey. I got your text and Weiss told me to swing by the moment I could. Everything okay?” Jaune walked in completely and shut the door. Something about this felt uncharacteristically serious. Even for Blake.

She took Jaune’s hand and guided him towards her bed to sit. “Okay, how to start this?” She sighed.

“I hope it starts with you telling me this isn’t a break up?” He said, worrying that he was in trouble. “That would be nice.”

Blake rubbed his back and smiled. “Relax, this isn’t that kind of talk. It’s actually...kinda the opposite.”

“The opposite? Like...marriage?” Jaune’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting that kind of conversation. “Don’t you think we’re too young for all that?”

Blake’s face turned red. The fact that’s where his mind went was actually pretty sweet. “Sex Jaune. I see how you got there, but I was referring to sex.” Blake mumbled. “Can we talk about it? We keep building up to it, but then you stop.”

His face got red. “I...it’s just…ummm” he couldn’t find the words. If Yang was here then he was sure a cat having his tongue pun would’ve been said. Jaune rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed about wimping out. Speaking only got worse when Blake took it upon herself to straddle his lap. Gods, she was too beautiful. Her eyes left him defenseless. The way her hands slowly ran up his chest and over his shoulders as the smell of lavender wafted over him. “Bl-Blake?”

“I like you.” She suddenly confessed, “I like you for who you are. The things you can do, can’t do, and never have done; I’m okay with all of it. If you’re thinking I’m ranking you to any previous experience, you’re wrong. The only experience I think about with you, is us. Our experiences.” Her right hand pulls his collar away from his neck. The urge to bite her lip is overwhelming as an urge in her core starts to burn. “Let me experience you.” She whispers. Blake leans in and begins kissing his neck. Honestly, she wanted to take things slower for his sake, but all but yearned for Jaune to touch her. So much so that it was a bit dizzying.

Jaune’s body flinched as Blake’s lips grazed his neck, nipping and licking it. “Blake…” Jaune moaned. His mind was still playing catch up, but his body was right on pace. His hands traveled up the feline’s toned legs and squeezed the round ass that rested on his lap, earning him a moan. Blake moved from his neck and captured his lips. Her hands went to his jawline to keep his face close. As if he thought about escaping.

Blake openly moaned as she felt his fingers kneed her ass like dough. She caught him by surprise when she slipped her tongue into his mouth, luring his into her own. Slowly, Blake locked her body back and forth to stir him up. The low groan he let out was a good sign she had done her job. Still, they have gotten this far before. Blake was determined to get further.

Her lips finally freed Jaune. The boy was flushed completely, catching his breath in rhythm with hers. Blake took the opportunity to remove only her blazer, then brought Jaune’s left hand away from her ass and onto her breast. Her fingers overlapped his and pressed down, making him squeeze it gently. “Touch me…” the lust in her voice flowed like a river. The way she felt Jaune’s hand quiver told her that he was still pretty anxious.

Jaune found it within himself to bring both of his hands to the top button of her shirt. A small smile on Blake’s face appeared as she closed her eyes and puffed her chest out a bit more as a sign to go ahead. “Take your time.” She said. Being patient wasn’t Blake’s strongest quality, but with Weiss’s advice in mind, she did her best to contain herself. It was funny. Jaune being nervous was actually making her heart beat faster.

Cool air hit her chest as her shirt was undone, revealing a purple lace bra. Firm hands went around her back. “I can handle the bra if you’re having tr-” a little pop noise was made as her bra strap was undone faster than her shirt. “Trouble…” she finished.

Jaune let out a sheepish chuckle. “Hehe, seven sisters, remember. I’m no stranger to how bras work. They left them everywhere.

“Jaune, you’re like a bag of tricks.” Blake smiled, “I just never know what comes next with you. That being said, I have a good idea that I'll be leading from here.” Blake let her bra fall, making Jaune gasp under his breath. Blake found his reaction to her D sized chest. His face got redder by the second as Blake brought his hands to them.

Jaune refused to speak. He’d hate to ruin the mood right now. He couldn’t believe how soft Blake felt. The way his fingers pressed against her as he massaged each boob. His pointer fingers grazed over her pale, pink nipples made the girl settle more into his lap.

“Mmmm~” Blake moaned, biting her lip from the touch. Jaune took it as a sign to keep going. A wise choice. Blake once again started to buck her hips against what had to be Jaune’s rock hard erection. Even with clothes on, it’s heat reached Blake’s equally hot core. Blake’s hands got busy. She scooted back a bit for them to have enough room to unbuckle Jaune’s pants. Her fingers traced along his lower stomach before dipping below the waistband and wrapping the throbbing erection. Blake leaned forward to capture his tongue yet again as he groaned from the feeling of her nimble fingers stroking his down.

Blake managed to pull his length up and out of his pants completely. She scooted forward again and rubbed his exposed cock against her wet panties. Her clit ground against the shaft. Blake mewled lustfully from Jaune squeezing her breast harder than before. Blake felt her tongue get drawn in and sucked on lightly. Someone was getting excited. The hot precum that ran down her hands only made it easier for Blake to pump faster.

Jaune couldn’t contain his groans and grunts. His hands gripped Blake’s ass again to hold her close. His kiss with her was broken by her going to kiss and bite his neck. “Blake…”

“Sshhh” Blake whispered, “cum for me.” If it wasn’t for her underwear, Jaune’s cock would be sliding up and down her soaked folds right now. The tip pressed against her clit and sent a shiver through Blake’s body that made her grind harder against it. She could tell Jaune was at the end of his rope. His hands gripped her even tighter as Jaune’s throbbing length finally let out a thick white seed that painted Blake’s moist thighs and panties. Blake smiled seductively as she slowed down the roll of her hips, letting him ride out his pleasure and wring out whatever remained inside.

“Blake!” Jaune hissed from the pleasure. Her hands pressed against his rising chest, making him lean back until his forearms had to support his body. Blake dismounted him to stand up for a moment then raised the sides of her soiled skirt, giving Jaune a clear view of the mess he made on the girl.

“Someone’s healthy.” Blake teased, “I wasn’t expecting so much.” Blake’s face became a deep red. Imagining the thought of this load inside her made her weak in all the right ways.

The sight of his and Blake’s arousal slowly trailing down her well toned legs was enough to leave anyone speechless. It didn’t help that her black panties were damp enough to outline the entrance to what Jaune would know to be a very intense experience. And as bad as he wanted it, Jaune couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed by his performance. “Not to kill the mood or sound ungrateful, but cumming alone is a bit… ehhh” was the best way he could describe himself.

Blake playfully rolled her eyes. Boys will be boys. “Well it’s not like we’re finished yet. Besides I literally told you cum. Rest assured I’ll get my moment a bliss before the end of this. Just have a bit of confidence. We’re still foreplaying.”

“I’m not an expert on this but is foreplay always this intense? I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard.” He admitted.

“It varies. Honestly...” Blake looked down at Jaune’s semi-flaccid dick. She slowly walked closer to the bed. Her hand tugged on Jaune’s slacks, prompting him to scoot down a bit more until Blake felt he was close enough. The young woman pulled a bit harder to pull his pants down and of the way of getting ruined. All why never taking her eyes off of him or is cum covered length. “....I like watching how good I make you feel.” She purred, getting excited again.

Jaune has no response to such a confession. Nor could he say anything as she bent over to grab his dick. Just her touching it was enough to make him grow. To get points even further across, Blake’s golden eyes looked right into his eyes as she made him tremble from placing her tongue at the base and lick up; agonizingly slow and deliberate too.

Blake took her time swirling around Jaune to collect the remnants of his load before taking him into her mouth for real. Jaune’s body tensed immediately and hand instinctively went to her head to brace himself as she bobbed up and down. His fingers wrapped around strains of hair, tugging them. Blake purred again with him down her throat and began watching him squirm.

“Blake!” He gasped. The girl only sped. Each time she went lower and lower while her tongue stroked the underside of his shaft. Before Jaune knew it, he was fully erect again and felt like he could cum again if she continued. “Blake! T-Timeout!” He yelled.

Blake gladly stopped. She had proved her point, gotten him hard again, and was pleasantly surprised to learn Jaune wasn’t that bitter in the slightest. Maybe it was his natural scent or something but Blake could see herself getting a bit too into sucking him off. That taste lingered on her and made her body burn up. “Need a break?”

“Not really.” He fibbed, knowing full well a girl who just went down him could probably tell just how into that experience he was. “I just… If I’m coming twice, I’d rather you get some action too.”

“Oh, okay.” Blake’s heart fluttered a bit. He really wanted her to feel good with him. “Then, let’s skip to the fun part.” Blake removed her panties that really should’ve removed earlier, along with the skirt.

Jaune marveled at his beautiful girlfriend who stood before him. Yeah they had sent pictures and sure she’s been topless for several minutes now, but it felt different once everything came off. Her long, beautiful legs went on each side of him, letting him have a full view of a wanting velvet core that hovered above his cock. A thin line of Blake’s arousal made both of teens blush as it dripped onto him. Jaune took his right thumb and pressed against her entrance, rubbing it slowly and watching how it coated his thumb.

“Mmmm~” Blake let out a breath that shook with excitement. Her chest began to rise and fall more distinctly and her back arched ever so slightly as she closed her eyes. “Please don’t fucking team me too long.” She moaned, nudging her hips to gain more friction.

Jaune was mesmerized by the way she acted. He sunk his thumb into her just to watch her crane her neck up and moan again. If he wasn’t excited before, he was now. “You’re so fucking wet…” pushing further in to feel her walls tighten. He kept a slow rhythm when pulling out, just to push right back in.

Blake bit her lip. Her hands ran up his shirt to expose his chest. She had to remember to thank

Pyrrha for putting Jaune through such rigorous training. He was well on his way to being the huntsman he so dearly dreamed of. It was funny but the more Blake thought it about, the more she realized what made her so drawn to him. Even when Jaune lacked experience, he set his sights high. Sure they could be a little too high at times, but you know what? There was something great about that. “I thought I told you not to tease me? I want you to give it to me.” Blake purred. She mustered the resolve to pry Jaune’s hand from her body and took hold of something much bigger and lively. “Ready for a ride? Just relax and let me lead okay?”

Jaune nodded. He watched Blake lower herself without a second thought. His hips instinctively bucked up as he felt the indescribable pleasure of wet, heated walls pulled him in tightly, refusing to let go. Jaune closed his eyes and gripped her waist.

“Feeling good?” Blake shuddered. The feeling of Jaune rubbing her insides so deep made her want to move immediately. Blake put her hands against Jaune’s chest and began rocking her hips. The grip Jaune had on her tightened. A low groan strained from his throat. Blake leaned forward until her breast pressed against him. “It gets better.” Her knees started feeling weak as raised her hips, having Jaune’s dick slid out until the tip remained. Blake then dropped her hips down, slamming his cock back inside of her. Again and again she did that, picking up the speed each time until the sound of her ass smacking against his lap filled the room and rocked the bed. Blake’s body was on autopilot. The feeling of her womb being invaded and walls being grazed, shocked Blake each time Jaune’s dick spearheaded inside of her wanting pussy. “Oh fuck yes…” Blake gasped, licking and biting Jaune’s neck.

The boy was going through it right now. Never had Jaune felt this kind of heat. No amount of foreplay could prepare anybody for this. Each slight movement felt like a jolt of lightning. His mind and body were conflicted. On one hand, Jaune wanted to hold out as long as possible. Yet his hips had other plans. Jaune couldn’t stop himself from timing his movements with Blake’s, thrusting deep into her for even greater pleasure

Blake had no problem with this whatsoever. “Ahhh~ just like that!” Blake encouraged, “You’re so deep...mmmm” the heat between them only grew. Their bodies worked up a sweat and Blake found herself panting more than moaning. Letting Jaune cum once was a good idea. Not only for him to last longer for this moment, but even Blake wasn’t confident her experience would give her an edge against his stamina. High sex drive or not, Blake knew herself well. Satisfying her needs wasn’t as trying as Jaune might think. Especially when she’s topping.

Blake sat up and leaned back a bit. She braced her hands behind her back and began rocking back and forth with Jaune completely inside of her.

Jaune couldn’t take his eyes off of Blake’s body as it grinded on him. The woman’s eyes were shut tight as she focused on the pleasure, while her boobs bounced from each rock. “You’re so beautiful.” He said without thinking. The compliment was heard though, since Blake immediately started going even faster. Jaune let out another groan. He wanted her so bad. Sitting still just wasn’t his style.

Blake’s concentration was broken when she felt strong arms around her lower back. She opened her eyes to see the blonde knight sit up as well. “Jaune?” She said confused. Instead of answering her. Jaune gave her a chaste but strong kiss before his mouth went suck on one of her tits. “Jaune!” She moaned, gripped his hair. Blake arched her back as she felt him lick and suck it, while groping the other one. The assault on her body only intensified when his remaining free hand fell to her ass to squeeze it while she continued to fuck herself on his dick until her mind felt foggy. “This is...too much!” Her hand clung to him. “And you were worried!?” She asked knowing he couldn’t speak right now.

Jaune might’ve been happy by the question if he wasn’t too busy fighting off his fast approaching orgasm. It was crazy Blake was the one saying he was doing too much. Her scent, the way her body pressed against his, the sounds that escaped her beautiful lips, and the way she moved her hips. As if she was trying to milk everything out of him all at once. Every part of her wax too much yet Jaune could only want more, surrendering to the embrace of her soaked walls. Jaune gasped for air. “Blake, I….I can’t...”

Words were beyond him. All he could do was buck in between Blake’s legs.

A seductive smile grew on her face as she went faster. “That’s right, fuck me just like this….and cum. Blake leaned into his, “Hard…”

A slave to her voice, Jaune obeyed Blake’s words without fail. He could only manage several more intoxicating moments before the urge to cum was too strong to deny. Jaune held her close and kept her there; shooting ropes white inside her.

Blake felt Jaune bite down on her shoulder as he filled her deep. All the rough touches and spasms was more than enough to push her over the edge. “Shit…” she said with a shrill voice. Her arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body and Blake buried her face in the crook of neck. Blake tried resisting but her nails dug into his back as her orgasm finally hit. Every muscle in her body tensed up. Her toes curled and she could feel Jaune throbbing inside her as her body tried taking everything the boy had to give.

Neither could speak. They could only cling to each other for what felt like forever before the waves of pleasures finally subsided. Blake was the first to loosen her grip. The girl's limbs released tension and she had zero desire to move an inch. It was only when Jaune went to tilt her head up by her chin that the two looked at each other with a mix of gratification and exhaustion. Blake positioned his hand for her head to rest in, purring at the feel of his touch.

Jaune let out at chuckle. He fell backwards onto the bed with Blake following him down. The girl laid on top of him and continued purring.

“Yeah I don’t see what you were worried about.” She said, teasingly.

“Hey, when Blake Belladonna says she wants to have her way with you, panic sets in. So, good time?”

Blake flicked his forward. “You have me laying on top of you naked and purring.”

“Yeah, fair point. Phew, well that’s good. I like making you happy.”

Blake blushed as she felt his arms hold her gently. “Hmm well looks like you’ve given me a new experience after all.”

“What, cuddling after sex?”

“Mmmhmmm.” Blake hummed, “No time to cuddle when you’re you know, working in a cult. Luxuries like that don’t exist.”

Jaune smirked, “Gee, I never would’ve guessed.” Blake pinched him for that sarcastic remark. Not that it actually did anything. “Well I’m happy to be your first post sex cuddle experience. Though it’s a little risky isn’t it?”

“We have like three hours before anyone shows up. It’s fine.”

“Not exactly the issue I had in mind but good to know.”

Blake’s eyelids felt heavy. That was until the feeling of Jaune’s hands on her butt shocked her away. The feeling of him swelling inside her again made her shudder. Stamina was dangerous. “Please, fifteen minutes. We have like three hours.” She groaned. “Then I’ll have you screaming all over again.”

“Fine by me, but this time I’m getting you off at least twice. Two to one just isn’t fair. I want you just as pleased as me.”

Looking back on things, Blake mentally retracted her statement about boys and their pride. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. “I’ll hold you to that.” Blake closed her eyes and got some rest.

xxxx

“We’re back!” Yang shouted as she walked in with her two teammates. She looked over to see Blake chillin on her bed reading in her sleeping clothes. “Gee if it wasn't for your clothes then I would’ve believed you actually sat there and read the entire time. I’m surprised you haven’t finished all of your books.”

“I’m a slow reader.” Blake blatantly lied. “I did finish a couple of times, books I mean.” Her eyes looked up from the pages to see Weiss staring at her in voiceless disbelief. She wiggled her eyebrows, making Weiss turn red.

The heiress turned around and walked out the room.

“Weiss, where are you going?” Ruby asked.

The Schnee sighed and kept walking. “A place that makes sense.”

Ruby didn’t know what that meant she looked at Yang who shrugged, then to Blake who masterfully controlled her laughter. “Huh, I guess Blake reading slowly through her for a loop?”

It was impossible for Blake not to place her book over her face and smile behind it. “Never change Ruby.” She muttered, “Never change.”

[coffee-in-veins]

i think i finally understood why reymas grabbed me by the throat so much and refuses to let go.

not only because i have soft spot for gay ships (duh) and this specific dynamic (double duh since i'm the one who spins it in the ship) but also because of the narrative possibilities it carries in the world it resides in

granted, those can be applied to i think basically any ship in DD, but we're granted those two redemption husbands at the start, we get the achievement for pushing with them till the very end, and hey, it's a reymas post, who else was i supposed to use as an example?

in games and narratives, death is mostly a punishment for failing too many times - you fail to understand the challenge or the mechanic, and then you're set back because of it to re-think your approach and try again. alternatively, it's a "fair thing" to receive for the things the character has done in the narrative, depending on the level of the author's cynicism (fates worse than death notwithstanding).

what i mean by this, applied to DD narrative, is that it feels *fair* to bitchslap the Ancestor into the oblivion he crawled out off. it feels *fair* to give some conclusion to the character arc of the two heroes you start with. it feels *fair* for wanting them to receive some nice retirement after what they've been through, well, if you engaged with the narrative at any point of it and paid half an emotion to all the yells and sobs and wailing your heroes do as they crumble.

hell i'd argue it even feels *fair* when the weak link or some unlucky hero who got targeted during a run and started all of what can be liberally called ACC, "a cock cascade" if you will, dies squirming and crying and calling for their parental unit of preferred gender. for all my surprisingly bleeding heart (i mean i've clocked 1860+ hours in rimworld, and raider skin hats are my go-to to build the initial wealth of the colony) and being squeamish for killing heroes who did me no wrong, i can be maniacally pleased and audibly glee as i see the giant "deathblow" splashing on my screen since i'm not mourning the unfortunate sod - i'm already calculating whether i can push through the remainder of the expedition like that and counting my losses that this lame "adventurer" had caused and maybe grieve the money i've wasted on them and their trinkets more than the character themselves.

but what if this is the opposite? what if you're emotionally invested in those sobbing sprites and bite your knuckles each time a mob lands a crit on them?

i think you know where i'm going.

so reymas, right? a heroic knight turned out to be not quite heroic, and a lowly angry rat who turned out to be not so ratty. a tale of uneasy acceptance. of seeing human in a class (both in the in-game sense and in a societal sense) that most likely wronged you before on so many levels and maybe even caused your personal downfall one way or another. of wanting to be better, to do better in the face of the world that all but *needs* you to fail, as last dungeon spoilers would imply, if we take Dickcestor's words for honest ones and without a Salar de Uyuni's amount of salt. of giving a chance to others where you won't even give it to yourself.

reymas, whether we see it as romantic or platonic, implies finding humanity in yourself and in your companions in the circumstances where both of those can be beneficial and detrimental in equal measure and you have better odds in the casino than guessing which one you're betting on in every situation.

and you can fuck up not because you didn't believe hard enough in your friends and the literal power of friendship (or boner, depending on the relationship in question) hardening one's death defiance that DD2 canonically implies exist in this universe - you might just be unlucky and get hit as help was on its way. or maybe you did believe in your friends and those friends turned out to be mercurial fucks and they backstabbed you. or maybe they even weren't fuckers who wanted to stab you but they stabbed you regardless because of unbearable things they were put through and the targeting system in their heads going haywire in a botched attempt of self-preservation. the game provides such experience in spades.

and it's *unfair* because you want those characters to succeed. it's *unfair* because you are invested in them being okay and finally pushing for redemption after all the fucked up things they did (save for Leper; Baldwin is his own spherical horse in a vacuum and should be tackled some other time). it's *unfair* in how sometimes you have little to no saying in how the cocks cascade and what you can salvage after they're done falling on you.

it's *unfair* in how real it feels. because in reality while we'd like to think that "we get what we deserve", it's much more complicated than a string of those words. and because of how *unfair* it can be, it always carries that feeling of tension. you can never be too sure that they'll get their happy ever after, even if they are the main pairing of the plot - hell, i, myself, am a perpetrator to that feeling with my writing. and methinks, it adds to the experience. it adds to the gravity of their connection. because in most stories that i've read about them they, too, are well aware of how unfair the death thing is in DD universe. and sometimes it drives the whole thing and sometimes it's the spice on top of it, but it's there. you can love your spouse to bits and be the purest human alive - you'll still die, in the end; or if you're simply unlucky and the fate rolls nat1 on you. you still have limited time to be with the people you care about. sometimes it's decades, sometimes it's minutes but it's there, this hard limit. DD just pushes this to the forefront and cranks up to 11 with constant expeditions, eldritch horrors, and different levels of Heir(ess)' dickery and disregard for their mercs.

the core of reymas, to me, is "we're different, and we're flawed, and we have limited time together, but we have this time, and we want to spend it together despite the unfairness around us"

and to me, it makes it much more human.

[bcdrawsandwrites]

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T

Genre: Angst

Characters: Caligosto Loboto, Loboto’s parents

Warnings: Surgery, lobotomy, hallucinations, child abuse, EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND NOTHING IS OKAY WITH THIS (but there’s nothing graphic)

Description: Just be still, and you'll be fine.

Beta Readers: @jaywings​ and Rocket (who I’m not sure is on Tumblr?)

Notes: who let me write Psychonauts fanfic. also some of the phrases in this fic were taken from this site.

---~~~---

“Scattering sparks of thought energy

Deliver me and carry me away”

“Here in my kingdom, I am your lord

I order you to cower and præy”

- The Mind Electric, by Tally Hall

 ---

Sometimes it was nice to just lay down in the park and watch the clouds float overhead.

He often had a lot of energy, both normal and... well... unnatural, but sometimes it was nice to relax, especially when he didn't feel like himself. His energy was ebbing, and there was something… something...

"Can you tell us another?"

He glanced up. Several of his usual playmates were standing around him, their faces lit up in interest. He grinned a wide, toothy grin.

"The boy babbled blatantly but was blessed with a brilliant brain!"

"Good!"

The compliment made his brow furrow. Normally they might cheer "cool!" or "awesome!" but he shrugged—he'd take it. It gave him a warm feeling inside, unlike the frequent chill of his own home. Plus, he couldn’t help but light up as he watched the smiles on his friends’ faces—some of them were still losing baby teeth, he noted, and the progression was fascinating. He knew what he could do to see more of those grins, too...

Without raising his head too much—it hurt a little, and he could see well enough from where he was—he glanced around to make sure his mother wasn't too close by. Luckily she was way off in the pavilion, talking to several other adults. Good; she wouldn't see, and neither would the other prying parents.

"How about this?" he asked, and with a tiny bit of concentration lifted a few rocks off the ground, spinning them in circles. Instead of cheering, however, the children backed away, their smiles fading.

"Look, he's trying to—!" one girl whispered frantically.

"Don't worry, he's fine for now."

He frowned, dropping the rocks. "O-oh, I'm sorry! I didn't think they would see..."

"That's okay. Can you tell us another?"

"Disappointed dogs don't do dangerous deeds." Wincing, he closed his eyes—there was a breeze that seemed to pass over his head only, running through his hair.

His scalp felt cold.

---

"Go on, Caligosto. Show the doctor how you can pick it up."

"Like this...?"

"No, the other way."

"But... mother doesn't like it when I do it that way."

"Do as you're told, Caligosto."

"...Okay..."

The fish swam all about the pond, but came closer to the surface when they realized he was watching from his usual spot on the shore. As they nearned him, he settled over the grass, staring down at his scaly friends. The fish seemed to like his company, and they wouldn't snitch to his parents if he did anything they wouldn't like.

On top of that, he felt a connection with them, almost like the sort of connection he could feel with people. They couldn't talk, and they didn't have facial expressions… but he could almost read them somehow, more and more as he continued visiting. Now he could sense what foods they wanted, or when they were scared of a nearby predator. It was nice to help them out.

It was also interesting to see the different kinds of teeth the fish had—some had sharp fangs, some had tiny flat teeth, and some had teeth in weird places, like their tongue or throat!

"Can you hear us?"

He would have jumped, but that would have scared the fish. As it was, he leaned forward, his eyes wide beneath their glasses. "Yes! I can hear you!" He could hardly contain his excitement. "I'd always thought I could hear you before, but never this clear! Do you think—"

"Good! Can you tell us another?"

He blinked. "Another what?"

"Another phrase."

Oh, right. In his excitement he'd nearly forgotten that he'd occasionally show off for the fish as well, though he'd never been sure if they could understand. "Friendly fish flip-flop fast when facing fearsome foes!"

"Very good!"

Giggling, he settled himself back down on the soft grass. "I'm glad you think so... my parents always tell me to be quiet."

Apparently, the fish had nothing to say to this, for they remained quiet, swimming just under the surface and watching him. So he kept watching them too, observing the light that reflected off their scales. But one creature caught his eye: a small turtle swimming in place. It was odd to see to begin with, but the paddling of its little feet seemed strangely frantic, its front legs moving in big sweeping arcs. It didn't speak, but he swore he could hear it—

Away, away—

---

"Is that... all he's capable of?"

"I'm afraid not."

"D—Father, are we done? I don't like it here..."

"Only speak when spoken to, Caligosto."

"Can we see anything else?"

"Yes."

"I-I don't want to—"

"Caligosto."

"Okay, okay! Let me—"

---

The seas were calm, and he had worked hard today as a navigator (or was he first mate? he couldn't quite remember, but that was okay), keeping a close eye on the compass and making sure they were staying on course. They were nearing the shore, but for now, he was taking a break, resting against a coil of rope with his eyes closed, enjoying the smell of the ocean air and the feeling of sunshine.

And also trying to forget his headache—he was pretty sure he bumped his head coming down from the crow's nest.

"You're doin' good today, mate! Squawk!"

He opened one eye, noting the parrot sitting just behind him. "Thanks, Crackers!"

Birds hadn’t been something that interested him too much at first; what kind of silly animal didn’t have teeth? That is, until he’d learned that birds have a weird organ that acted as their teeth. Fascinating!

The parrot cocked her head at him. "Do you know any more?"

Oh right, of course the parrot enjoyed those phrases. "The pretty parrot perched upon the putrid pirate's peacoat!"

Crackers gave a pleased chirp, ruffling her feathers.

Wincing, he found his headache was starting to get worse, like a bad toothache, and closed his eyes again. "Do you think we'll reach shore soon?"

We won't if you don't get out.

He opened his eyes. Crackers was gone.

---

"STOP! STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

"What are you doing?!"

"I-I just did what you asked—"

"I didn't tell you to—!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Put him out, hurry—"

"We've seen enough, doctor. We'll schedule an appointment for your son next week."

"N-next week?!"

"Very well. He'll be there promptly."

---

The kids’ expressions had changed from bright smiles to tightly-drawn lips and wide eyes, and it made him shudder. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, it's fine. Tell us another."

"The store..." He paused, concentrating. Strange, he didn't usually have trouble remembering these things, but it must have just been his headache. "The store clerk stood and... stared at me in stupor."

"I would too after what I've seen," one kid muttered, only to be shushed by another.

His heart gave a pained jolt. "Wh-what?"

"Nothing!"

He didn't like the way they were talking—it reminded him of... something else. Someone else. Another child stepped closer to him, looking down at him with a furrowed brow and frightened eyes. He felt the sudden urge to scoot away.

You're in danger.

---

"Wh...where am I supposed to go?"

"Just in through these doors."

"Okay... Why do I have to come back here to the doctor, though? I feel fine."

"Nevermind that. Do you remember what your father told you to do?"

"Yeah! The fun phrases. I know a million of those!"

"Good."

"Would you like to hear... w-wait, who are all these people watching? Wh... what are those?"

---

The fish were swimming in circles and starting to make him dizzy. He rested his head down in the cool grass, but it did little to help. "Oh... sorry. I'm not feeling so good. I should be going home..."

"You can go home soon. Tell us another first."

"Ugh... My mom... m-my... mother makes a... marvelous... meat... mincemeat pie." Recalling these phrases was starting to feel like what he imagined pulling teeth felt like, but a lot less fun. Was his mother missing him now? How long had he been gone? "I... really need to go home now."

"No you don't."

His eyes shot open, and he shivered as he stared down at the fish. "Wh... what did you... say?"

"Don't try to move. You'll be all right."

All of the fish watched him eagerly... but the turtle was still waving its front feet even more frantically.

---

"Don't worry about that."

"N-no! I know what those tools are—I've read my dad's books. You're gonna hurt me!"

"Nonsense. Just lay on the bed and you'll be fine."

"No, I don't want to! You can't make me!"

---

The ship heaved up and down with the swell of the waves. His insides rolled with it, and he remained lying on the coil of rope, waiting for his stomach to stop lurching and his head to stop aching.

"You stopped. Keep going."

"Ugh... The newt... nuzzled in a... n-narrow... nook."

"Good."

"No, it's not, Crackers! I don't feel good..."

"You're fine, squawk! Try to distract yourself."

"Okay..." Opening one eye, he raised a shaky hand, lifting the end of the rope and making it snake through the air, though it shuddered all the while. It was a lot more difficult than usual... Normally he could lift several objects at once, and delighted the crew by juggling them. He felt like he should be able to do other things too, but what?

---

"Oh mercy! He's going to kill someone!"

"Caligosto, if you don't stop this at once, I will call your father!"

"So call him! I want him here! Why didn't he come with me?!"

"Oh no, he's trying to light the chair on fire—"

"Go get the earmuffs, now."

"MOM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"GET THEM NOW!"

---

The sun was covered in clouds, and the humid air brought a promise of rain. Why were the other kids still here? Surely their parents would have called them home by now. He wished they would. Surely his mom would have called him, too, wouldn't she?

"Tell us another," one girl asked urgently, taking a hesitant step forward.

His head was swimming. "I-I don't wanna..."

"Tell us now."

Focusing, he managed to force his mind to concentrate. "She sniffed... and s-smelled... the stirring storm."

"Good, tell us another," one fish bubbled from the water.

A sharp pain like a broken tooth filled his skull, his insides felt sick, and the rain was beginning to fall. "I... I can't..."

"Tell us, Caligosto."

"B... Bernie read a book... b-by the... ba—babbling brook." He wanted to wipe the rain from his face, but he felt too exhausted to move his arms. "C-can I go... home..."

"Squawk! We're not to shore yet. Give me another."

He stared up at the blurred vision of the bird. "Why...?"

"Do as you're told."

"Th-the... hummingbirds... hovered... a-and hummed in... heavenly..." His voice broke off into a choked sob. "I wanna... no... I wanna... go home..."

"Caligosto?"

---

"I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"Get it on him, get it on—"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Where did he go?!"

"The monster's turned invisible!"

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

"There! Put it on right—there!"

"STOP, I WANNA—"

---

"...go home!"

He blinked.

"You are home, Cali," his mother said, beaming down at him with a wide, pearly-white grin.

"I am?" Blinking again, he looked around. Indeed, he was in front of his house, with his parents both standing on the front porch, as they had been when he'd left. On top of that, his head didn't hurt and he didn't feel sick. "I... I am!"

"You're all done with the doctors now," his father said, smiling. "We're so proud of you!"

"You... you are?" He stared open-mouthed; his father had never told him that before. "I'm all done?"

"Yes you are, dear." His mother knelt down, but he didn't come closer—something was making his hair stand on end. "Almost."

His stomach twisted.

"Just tell us another, son."

"N... no..."

The smile on his father's face faded. "Do as you're told, Caligosto."

"N-no... no, no..." He tried to shake his head, but couldn't. "I... I want to go home..."

The pain was coming back, spiking through his head, and he cried out.

"We're going to lose him—"

"No, just a little more."

"No," he sobbed. "No, no! Mom! Dad!"

The park was flooding. The fish were swirling around his head. Waves crashed over the boat.

He had to do something. Anything.

Focusing with everything he had left, he tried to think, tried to move something, tried to make something burn, tried to call for help—

Did—did you hear that?

Cali?

The agony peaked, and his vision turned orange.

---

"Ooooh... ugh..."

"Is this safe?"

"It's safe for us. The psilirium will keep him under control during the procedure."

"But can he still hear us?"

"Son, can you tell us one of your funny phrases?"

"Sure... grass grows greener in the graveyard."

"You see? He'll be fine."

---

There was no park.

There was no pond.

There was no ocean.

There were several doctors staring down at him, a great many more people seated in the theater behind them, and an empty feeling within him.

Something was gone. Something important.

"How do you feel, Caligosto?"

His brain was slow to work, and he could not form the words, but if he could have, he would have answered:

Like... a cavity.

[alrighty-anubis]

I miss him (tech&hunter&crosshair)

No warnings apply

Tech's emotions over flow after going unsaid for too long. Hunter realises his brother needs some support and that forgetting about Crosshair isn't good for any of them. Omega is the perfect younger sister.

Find it on my AO3

As the Havoc-Marauder settled into hyperspace, the tension in the ship dispersed and was replaced by the friendly familiarity between the members. Hunter had a hand on Omega’s shoulder as she excitedly rattled off her and Wrecker’s accomplishments on their side, Wrecker interrupting with his own equally excited comments whilst echo (who had spun round in the co-pilot’s seat) nodded along trying and failing to cover up the fact he was scanning them all for injuries. Tech didn’t face them, eyes set on the blur of stars before them, fiddling absentmindedly with a clump of wires he had picked up and had no plan for.

“And then I shot the droid with my bow” “Right in the head, kid’s got perfect aim” “And that’s when Crosshair arri-”

Omega was interrupted by a sharp clang from the pilot’ seat. They all turned to face Tech whose cheeks flushed as he picked up the wires before turning away from them without so much as a glance in their direction.

“Hey, Tech, you alright?” Hunter’s concerned voice broke the silence.

“Affirmative, I have sustained no injuries. Neither has the ship. I apologize for the interruption”

Hunter kept his eyes trained on Tech’s back but didn’t probe him any further, a squeeze to Omega’s shoulder signalling her to carry on.

“Crosshair arrived and started shooting at us and his aim was so good but luckily Wrecker threw a crate at him so we had time to run around the corner.” “You know how delicate Cross can be - took him minutes to get up again” “And then we made it to you and had that whole stand off”

That’s when Echo interrupted, providing his ARC interpretation and analysis on their efforts. Hunter tended to forget how much experience the man had, working so closely with Rex and found himself nodding along with him. The conversation soon got thrown off into a tangent about the new TK soldiers and other developments the Empire were making from the GAR.

Hunter found himself pausing and waiting for Tech’s interjections; he was so animated when they first discovered the changes with the Commandos. But Tech sat silently at the Cockpit’s control desk. As he drowned out the surrounding conversation to take note of the Pilot’s tense shoulders and un-Tech-like lack of precision while handling the wires he felt his concern grow.

He pulled himself back to Echo and Wrecker’s conversation, intending to send them away so he could talk with Tech and figure out what was wrong.

“Yeah, we could’a used a sniper,” Wrecker vigorously announced. “I will admit, Crosshair being a traitor’s kind'a inconvenient. Don’t see him coming and suddenly you're being shot at.” “What’s not inconvenient is not having an attitude!” Wrecker laughed.

“Shut up!” Tech suddenly stood up, his wires thrown to the ground and the chair spinning from the force he left it with. “Shut up shut up!”

He flung his helmet across the cockpit and smashed into the wall with a loud crash. Omega startled and hurried out of the room.

Hunter took a step back and resisted the urge to cover his ears. He felt his stomach lurch at the sight of tears streaking from behind Tech’s goggles. Wrecker and Echo were frozen, mouths still open.

“He’s not a traitor!

“Tech, he’s literally hunting us down for the Empire,” Echo stated whilst Wrecker shouted: “If he wasn’t a traitor he would be with us now.”

“Hunting us down? What like you did to Omega, Wrecker?”

Wrecker physically flinched back, tears welling in his eyes whilst they started to freely stream down Tech’s face.

“It’s not him. It’s not. It wasn’t you trying to shoot Omega in the face. Cross wouldn’t betray us. And you’ve abandoned him. None of you care - none of you did. He got left behind. We left him behind and none of you care or feel bad,” tremors began to wrack through his body violently, “We left him behind. We are the traitors. He’s all alone - the Empire doing maker knows what to him - and we aren’t saving him because none of you care!”

“Tech-” Hunter slowly stepped forward, hands raised in a placating manner.

“What? You're the one who made us leave him. You’re our sergeant, you’re meant to keep us together and you didn’t”.

“Tech-” He signalled for the others to leave, “We did what we could, but we couldn’t get out of their alive and save him.”

“Bullshit - that’s just what you tell yourself.”

“Maybe you’re right-” Hunter considered his options.

It was rare for Tech to feel emotions strongly, let alone let them out. When Tech had breakdowns like this it would be after something had been building for weeks. Hunter cursed himself for not having noticed the signs: taking the night shift so he didn't have to sleep in front of them because of nightmares; not eating’ overworking so he didn't have to think about it. Crosshair was usually the one who helped Tech in these situations, he was the only one Tech felt comfortable speaking to about these matters actually, the both of them not feeling as strongly as Hunter, Wrecker or Echo. He should have seen this coming with Tech’s closest brother being unavailable.

“Tech, tell me, was there a way for us to get out alive with Crosshair? Think.” He commanded, hoping that giving Tech the puzzle would help his analytical mind ease the onslaught of emotions so Hunter could begin to help him with them.

“No.” Tech's voice was strained and croaky from shouting. He slumped forward with resignation at the admission.

Hunter stepped forward and laid a hand on his back. Tech flinched away for a second before falling into his brother’s chest. Hunter wrapped his arms around the slender man and realised this was the first time he had hugged Tech. A pang of guilt made its way through his body as he wondered whether it was more than their similarity that had Tech heading to Crosshair for comfort. Hunter found Tech’s constant babble exhausting and incomprehensible, sometimes leading him to be a bit short with the others.

“What brought this on?” He asked.

“They talk about him as if he’s no different than Rampart or Bane or Tarkin. But he is. He’s our brother. And then they don’t talk about him at all. No one’s mentioned that he’s gone.”

They had all been so concerned with Omega’s safety they hadn’t had time to mourn Crosshair’s separation and Tech, finding emotions as confusing and illogical as he does, had never felt confident to bring him up - not with Wrecker often ignoring what he said assuming he won't understand and other more urgent situations ongoing.

“Do you want to talk about it - him now?”

“I miss him.”

“So do we.”

“Really.” Tech deadpanned, “”It surely gives that impression when you all spend hours insulting him”.

“Perhaps convincing ourselves we weren't as close to him saves us the pain from his absence.”

Tech stayed silent.

“I will talk to the others. And Tech,” he waited until his eyes met his younger brother’s. “We will get him back. I promise.”

Tech sobbed into Hunter’s chest in response. They stood like that for a while, until they heard the door open behind them. Omega poked her head in the cockpit, concern worrying about her face.

“Tech, are you okay?”

“I will be.” He pulled away from Hunter, his cold exterior returning quicker than Hunter would have liked, “I apologise for scarring you.”

Omega reached down and picked up his wires, handing them back to him, “It’s okay,” she smiled, “We’ll get him back.”

The rest of the group filtered back in, they cast Tech concerned glances which he pretended to not notice. The atmosphere was awkward, the conversation choppy as they tried to stick to light subjects. But Omega’s game with her Bad Batcher doll drew them all in.

Tech tapped Omega on the shoulder and passed her a small toy bow he had made with the wires.

“This is so cool, she matches me now!” Omega lurched forward and hugged her older brother.

_____

1351 words

Also I’d love to be sent some requests :)

[mmikmmik2]

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

[silma-words]

The Climb

Choices: Bloodbound

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Ellie)

Rating: Mature (NSFW, 18+)

Genre: Fluffy smut (I’ve decided it’s a thing now)

AU Chronology: Bloodbound AU (after book 1 – the events of book 2 never happened) – ‘Inevitable - Arc I: Before we part’ (Masterlist) – Right after book 1 (beginning of their relationship)

Summary: Intimacy is not only about trusting the other, it’s also about learning how to trust yourself and let go….

N/A: So this was absolutely self-indulging writing, that does not necessarily have any relevance to my intended storyline. But I really wanted to write a little about female pleasure and the never ending quest for the big Os, and how it is not necessarily easy for women to be entirely at ease with their own body and pleasure, and to know exactly what they need. I hope it won't be too awkward to read! 😊

Words: 3700

**Disclaimer: Characters and background plot are the property of Pixelberry.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The climb

There was something comforting about the weight of him above her. Something reassuring about the soft hum of his breath on her neck. But something terrifying about the way she could feel her mind slowly drift away each time this delicious but unfamiliar feeling began to spread throughout her body.

She was mesmerized by the softness of his lips on her skin, by the firmness of his grip on her tights, and by the adoring gleam in his eyes every time he looked down at her. But she was also equally terrified of that invisible wave that seemed to rise from the pit of her stomach as he moved above her, threatening to crash over her with each passing second and each one of his thrust.

Ellie and Adrian had shared their bed a few times before, and she had been amazed by how she had instantly felt at ease in his arms. She had little experience before him, and had always been a little nervous to reveal herself in that way, but somehow, with him, she had never felt the level of self-consciousness that had pulled her down many times in the past. And yet, she was still terrified to let go.

Terrified of these sensations that were making her head spin and sink heavily against the pillows.

Terrified of the air escaping her windpipes with every surge of pleasure, making her gasp with the fear that it might never return to her lungs in time before the next wave would threaten to pull her under.

Terrified of the weight of her eyelids, refusing to lift when she was dying to keep her eyes open to find an anchor in Adrian’s hazy gaze.

This was all too terrifying, and she could feel her limbs shake with the intensity of her terror despite the soothing words that Adrian was whispering in her ears.

Adrian was taking his time. Smoothing her skin with his palms, pressing kisses on her neck, her chin, her jaw, and her hair. Nudging his nose in the space beneath her ear, muttering her name softly to make sure that she knew that there was no one else but her and him in the room, in this moment, and that nothing else going around the world mattered. That he had all the time in the world for her, that he was in no hurry.

He wanted to give her all. Everything he had. Everything he knew. But she would not let him.

He could feel her trembling against him, her brow furrowed in concentration as she was struggling to take in the sensations that were washing over her. And as much as he could tell how much pleasure she was feeling every time they had shared this precious intimacy together, he could tell that Ellie had been holding on each time. That she had been scared of letting herself go every single time. He could tell from the way she felt underneath him and from the sounds she made, even before she would hush him to slow down when it became too much for her.

Of course he did not want to pressure her, to push her beyond her limits, and at first he had been worried that he had been hurting her somehow, or asking too much of her in his desperation to be close to her as much as they could physically be. But now that he knew her better, after he had carefully studied her features, her breaths, and the tales of her skin every time he had held her naked body against his, he could tell that her fear and restraint had nothing to do with pain or discomfort. He had been on this earth for so long, sharing his bed countless times over the centuries, that he had not realised that part of what they shared could be entirely knew to her. She was scared of the unknown, scared of emotions she could not control. And he was determined to find a way to help her let go of these fears.

She was mentally cursing at herself. She wanted nothing more but to abandon herself in the heat of him, to trust Adrian with her body the same way she had trusted him with her life right after they had met just over a month before. But she could not stop the stupid gears from turning in her head.

One minute she would feel drunk from his touch, from his kisses, and from the delicious slide of his body against hers, and the other, she would just feel her breath catch in her throat and her heart jolt in her chest, as if waking up from a dream where she was free-falling from high above. She would grip his shoulders and wrap her lips against his collarbone to find purchase in the familiar taste and smell of him, but it would always take her desperately-long minutes to allow herself to be lulled back into comfort by the rocking of their joined bodies. It was driving her mad. But she was so scared. So. Scared.

And the more she acknowledged how irrational that fear was, the more she could feel it having a hold on her.

The first time she had felt like this with Adrian, she simply thought her mind was going to short-circuit. Their embrace had been so intense, the feel of his skin against hers so exhilarating, and the synchrony of their movements so perfect, that she had just felt suddenly overwhelmed by the scorching heat building inside her, as if it would burn her from the inside if she did not let her body cool down immediately. After that, she had kept trying to push against this irrational fear of this torturous pressure inside her, but could not ignore the way her brain did not seem to be able to identify whether that maddening sensation was pain or pleasure. It always seemed to teeter right on the edge between the two, and she could not convince her body to ignore the warning signals that her brain was sending so that she could be brave enough, at least one time, to see whether her lungs would scream out of pain or out of delight if she let the heat consume her.

And with each time she let her apprehension drag her away from the reality of Adrian’s loving embrace, from his heated caresses and from his breathless kisses, she could tell the fear was gaining ground.

And after that, Fear came with its most trusted soldiers: shame and anger. Ellie was trying her best to fight them off every time she could see them advance on her, but she seemed to be powerless against them as time went by. She was angry at herself for not being able to take the leap she desperately needed. And she was ashamed of not being able to control her own body, to understand it enough to be able to receive was Adrian was desperate to give her.

He was so sweet to her. So tender, so attentive, and so careful. She had never ever hoped to be touched and kissed the way Adrian did, nor hoped to hear her name whispered in adoration the way this selfless man did. She wanted nothing else but to yield to the liquid heat that was boiling in her limbs, and let Adrian carry her over the edge towards the unknown. She wanted to give herself to him entirely, let him see her bare in a way that no one had ever had. But every time she got close to that edge, she felt the tight grip of her conscious mind pulling her away from it, anchoring her down, making her aware of how exposed and vulnerable she was before him, resentment following straight after when realising how frustrating it must be for him to see her body refuse to trust his all the way.

“Look at me, Ellie”.

His voice was just a whisper in her ear, barely audible over the sounds of ruffling sheets and of her ragged breaths, but loud enough to pull her once more out of her head, back to him. Back to them.

She could not help but to smile sheepishly when her eyes met his, feeling her cheeks flush under his gaze, fully aware that Adrian had noticed when her restless brain had taken over. Pushing her forehead up to rest against his and closing her eyes in an attempt to hide the embarrassment that was starting to crawl over her, it startled her a little when his body shifted against her, his arms slipping around her torso to cradle her close as he lifted her smoothly from the mattress, bringing her thighs to rest on the top of his while he sat on his heels, knees sinking into the bed.

Somehow, their bodies had stayed in contact entirely, although he was not moving against her anymore. Instead, he started tracing slowly the lines of her jaw and of her cheek with the tip of his nose, bringing his hands to cup her face softly and gently make her look at him.

“It’s ok, Ellie. It’s just us.” His voice was low and soft, like a fantom caress she wanted to lean into. “There is nowhere else we need to be. Nowhere else I’d rather be. We’ve got all the time we want.”

Ellie had no idea how to respond, nor even if he was expecting her to. She simply nodded, letting the calm in his eyes appease her rattling heart as she was trying to clear her mind and focus her attention on him.

He pressed the slowest, softest, and gentlest kiss on her wet lips, before pulling away to capture her gaze once more. “There is no pressure here, Ellie. Just us. Just this. Right now”.

He kissed her once again, this time for a little longer, and with a little more weight to his lips. “I just want this to feel good for you. That is all.” Pressing his nose against hers, he muttered one last time: “I just want you to feel good”.

This time when she nodded silently, there was more truth in her eyes than when she had blindly nodded just a moment before.

When he returned his lips to hers, she responded immediately by letting her eyes close and her throat hum in surrender, opening her mouth to let him in, hoping she might be able to taste the remnants of his comforting words onto his tongue.

She felt shielded, protected by the feel of his arms brushing against hers as his hands started roaming along her back. His fingers were spread, his palms warm and sweaty, gliding along her spine as if counting and blessing each one of her back bones.

When she wrapped her arms more firmly around his shoulders, his kisses became suddenly more urgent, making her moan and writhe against him, sending her hips back and forward instinctively, making them both gasp at the suddenly renewed friction between them.

The groan he made and the hunger in his eyes were all she needed to send her self-conscious mind tumbling in the back on her head for now. She let her hips do all the work for her, tightening her grip against his thighs, barely aware of the gentle pressure of Adrian’s hand in her back that was guiding the slithering movement of her hips.

Raising herself higher and higher above him as she went, she was relishing the heat and sounds rushing out of his open mouth against her skin, right where he had buried his head in the crook of her neck. It was a weird sensation for her, with him so close but yet out of her direct sight, as if she were alone and with him at the same time, in two different parallel universes. As if to make sure he was really there while she arched and lifted herself above him, she moved her hands so that she could tangle her fingers into his hair, alternatively pulling and pressing his face away and against her pulsing point, not sure whether she needed him there or back against her parted lips. She was now completely driving the motion, Adrian’s arms only encapsulating her torso to keep her steady.

She could feel her pleasure climbing, climbing, climbing... the now more familiar pressure building inside her from the repeated friction of their joined bodies and from his skin burning against hers where she needed it the most. It felt like something was twisting in her guts, like a coil tightening with each movement, and threatening to snap at any moment. Feeling her limbs starting to tremble, her eyes suddenly shot open, desperately searching for Adrian’s, silently pleading for something that she was not sure to be able to voice.

When their eyes finally met as she tugged on his hair to bring his face against hers, she immediately found there the anchor that she was searching for. The reassurance and awe that she was craving for and that he knew she needed.

“It’s ok, it’s ok”, he hushed against her lips, letting his voice and the reassuring warmth of his heat wrap around her.

But the coils were still threatening to snap, and she could not help but to feel the panic surge through her once more, moving her head slightly from side to side as her throat finally allowed a few weak words to break free. “I can’t.... I can’t...It’s...”.

But he swallowed her words with the soft press of his mouth, urging her with his eyes to trust him.

But those coils... those coils... it felt like those were going to rip through her and blast her heart open. “I can’t...” she pleaded again, her voice rasped and breaking. “I need you... I need you to...”.

Bringing one of his hands to her face, he pressed his forehead against hers, never tearing his eyes away from her teary gaze: “What do you need me to do, love?”.

Aching and gasping, she finally collected enough air to force her last plea through her lungs, fighting the echo of her self-conscious mind trying to tell her otherwise. “I need you to do it... to get me there... I can’t...”.

And that was all Adrian needed to hear.

Collecting her in his arms as he had done mere minutes before, he let her wrap her legs around his hips before raising from his knees to gently move them back onto the mattress, the coolness of the bedsheets sending oddly comforting shivers down her spine as she felt her body sink into the bed under Adrian’s weight.

He did not allow her mind to wander into dangerous territory for even a second. His mouth was on hers and his hands were roaming along her sides and between her breasts in an interrupted dance, leaving no chance for fear, or anger, or shame, to settle back into her mind.

He was pressing in and out of her relentlessly, slowly at first, making sure that her eyes remained on him, watching closely for the signs that would show him that he was doing this right. That he was applying the right amount of pressure where she needed. That he was letting her time to adjust gradually to the length of him, carefully adjusting her shivering legs around him to make sure this felt as right for her as it felt for him.

His gaze was anchoring her in reality, although she felt her body slowly resume its climb, pleasure starting to build once more from every point of contact between their bodies, pushing her gradually higher and higher towards this terrifying edge like a dozen of flickering hands urging her forward.

Her grip in his hair was slippery, from his sweat as much as from hers, but she was refusing to let go.

As she arched her back beneath him unconsciously, he took the opportunity to shift a little above her and tilt her hips slightly, tearing a sudden cry of pleasure from her throat as one of his hand lifted her leg higher against his hip, reaching the point of no return where she felt him right where she needed him.

He knew he could not stop now, knowing that he had gotten her further than ever before, and that she had pleaded for him earlier to get her beyond that threshold that she had never managed to cross. He felt burdened with that purpose, but yet could not help but to want to yield the way he had many times before when facing the shear weight of her teary eyes, the shakes of her limbs against his hold, and the thundering of her heartbeat ringing in his ears. But at the same time, the noises she made were driving him crazy, and he could tell from the slick wetness of her core that he could give her what she needed, right now. She just needed a little more from him so that she could let go.

Lurching forward to bury himself deeper within her, he swallowed her uncontrolled shriek of pleasure with his open mouth, trailing his lips all over her chin and her neck while increasing his pace gradually, whispering encouragements to her skin to keep her from drifting to that space that could pull her down too fast.

“You feel so good Ellie... Does it feel good for you?”

Although she could register his words, she could not formulate any articulate response other than biting her lip to muffle her moans, in an attempt to keep any bit of control that she had left.

That climb never seem to want to end, making her believe that she would surely see the edge in sight at any second, but the more she climbed the furthest she seemed to get from it. How much longer would she have to keep on going? She could not trust her limbs to carry her further anymore.

But he was here. Right with her. His breath against her lips acting like a reassuring hand pushing in the small of her back, securing her until she could see this edge. She was aware of each of his thrust and each of his groans, the slide of his skin against her reminding her that he was here for her. There. Right now. Ready to take that leap with her right by her side.

And there she finally saw it. The edge. The terrifying end of that climb that suddenly reminded her vividly what she had been so afraid of.

She felt her body being slowly dragged towards it, as if pulled by invisible strings to force her to gaze into the dark abyss of the unknown below. Would it hurt? Would it just feel like being freed? And what would be waiting for her down below? The darkness beyond that edge did not even seem to have an end to it. And it was calling for her.

She was right there. So close. Teetering right on the edge. Gaping at the abyss alone, but somehow reaching for Adrian blindly to make sure he would not let her take that leap alone. That dread and the overwhelming sensations in her limbs and her core were making her lungs ache with every breath she took.

“Adrian...I...” she barely managed to mumble, her fingers slipping desperately in his hair as she was trying to bring his mouth to hers.

“It’s ok, love”, he whispered hoarsely against her lips, finding her eyes to bring her the reassurance that he knew she was begging of him. “You’re there... right there... just let go...”

Holding her breath for a few seconds, she finally closed her eyes to allow her body to yield to his command, letting her weak limbs dive from the edge.

The coil that had been twisting, and twisting, and twisting inside her finally snapped, releasing throughout her limbs that liquid heat that had been simmering in her core over the course of her endless climb.

His face. His voice. The scent of his sweat and of his skin. She let it all fill her mind as she came apart beneath him, reaping sounds from her that seemed nearly alien to her ears. She was gasping for air as she felt her entire being clench around him, pulling him against her more tightly that she had ever held onto anyone or anything before. Her lungs were burning, the moans escaping her shaking lips seeming to be as uncontrollable as the way her legs and her hips trembled against Adrian’s boiling skin.

Smiling against her lips, Adrian did his best to hold on as long as he could to help her descend from her high, marvelling at the sight of her features slowly relaxing in awe, any traces of apprehension now completely wiped from her perfect skin.

But the way her hips kept bucking with each of his thrust, and the mesmerizing sound of her voice whimpering his name against his skin, were enough to send him tumbling over the edge as well, arching between her legs and gripping her hip more tightly as he came undone with a growl.

Too weak to resist her pull any longer, he let his body collapse on top of hers, pressing a few soft, lazy kisses onto her mouth between jagged breaths, before sliding a little down her body to rest his head on her chest, taking in the full blast of her thumping heartbeat, the shivers that were coursing across her skin, and the sweet hum escaping her throat as she was gradually relaxing completely underneath him, absentmindedly massaging his scalp.

He did not need to see her face to know that she was smiling, grateful for everything he had given her just a moment before. He did not need to see it because he knew the same smile was now plastered on his face, as he was so grateful to her for trusting him enough to bring her there, and for taking that leap towards the unknown with him.

~~~

Thank you for reading! 🙂

If you liked it, any comment and/or reblog/PM would mean a lot to me! (just to know if I need to stop writing all the random things that pop into my head! 😅)

Tagging @adriansbiss , @itsjustwinter , @shanzay44 , @purvishraick, @thefrenchiemama

@choicesficwriterscreations

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 323 Spoiler Analysis: It’s About The Details

Another 2 week break has come and gone!  I hope you all and Horikoshi-sensei had a nice break.  I feel like we needed it after that game-changing apology from Bakugo last time.  This chapter focuses on our Zero Gravity Hero: Ochako Uraraka.  She’s awesome and she played her part well, but I’m not going to go over her entire speech because it’s the smaller details this chapter that grabbed me the most and I want to talk about those more.  So, this might not be too long this week:

Imma start with the Ochako stuff first.  She does what most of us thought she was going to do last time which is stand up for Deku.  She floats herself up to UA’s rooftop to yell at the civilians using Present Mic’s megaphone.  It’s basically about how important Deku is and how he doesn’t deserve all this undeserved anger thrown at him; how he sacrificed his wellbeing to protect everyone.  It’s really stuff that we know as the audience, but that the civilians are still trying to understand.  Ochako’s speech actually seems to be working, though I still suspect that there’ll be people stubbornly opposed to Deku in general.  There always is.  But it’s a step in the right direction.

I’m also really liking the artwork on Ochako.  She gets a lot of panels, so of course Horikoshi needs to draw her as pretty as he can.  The paneling is well done too this chapter as well as the smaller details which I’ll mention soon.  There’s also a little comedy this chapter with Kaminari, Bakugo, and Shoto to help relieve some stress which is always appreciated.  Also, Bakugo and Shoto are besties at this point, I will not argue this 🧡💙  

One more thing before I get into the smaller details: The first 1/3 of this chapter is a flashback to after Class 1-A decides to rescue Deku back in Principle Nezu’s office.  Nezu describes what the UA Barrier can do and it’s A LOT!  Like, I’m not going to describe it to you, but basically it’s a lot more sturdier than last time and it has a fail-safe where the school will move into shelters and those shelters will be transported somewhere else underground.  I need to read it again to make sense of it, but it’s basically and underground transportation system.  Like Kaminari says, it’s like something out of a Mecha anime.  Very complicated stuff.

Now onto those small details I talked about.  Most of them are told via panel and panel art rather than words, so I’ll interpret them as best as I can:

We do see a few of the kid’s parents this chapter!  Bakugo’s mom is trying to hold Deku’s mom, Inko, back from rushing into the angry crowd (she’s crying btw and I don’t blame her), Jiro’s dad is there, and Ochako’s parents are present of course.  I wonder if we’ll see the other parents too.  Same with some of their sibling if they have any like Shoto does.  

There is one panel showing that Eri is staying with the 1-B kids.  Monama is helping care for her.  It’s a sweet panel that shows that Monama is more than the madman we’re used to.  Dude has a good heart, we just don’t see it often.  Maybe Eri sees him in a better light now too.  But, it’s clear that Eri’s worried, so I think she knows something’s wrong.  God, what will she say to Deku if they reunite 😭.  Oh, and Tetsutetsu and Komori (the mushroom girl) are looking out the window, so it’s safe to say that Class 1-B have an idea of what’s going on.

Kota and Ragdool are in the crowd too.  It’s been so long since we’ve seen them.  I feel so bad for Kota who’s watching his hero get yelled at like this.  Give this child a break pls 😭.  Also, I don’t think we got confirmation on what happened to the other Pussycats, so I hope they’re alive.  Especially Mandalay for Kota’s sake.

There’s a panel of someone’s smartphone showing articles/videos of people theorizing and talking about Deku, AFO, and OFA.  So, the word’s out and everyone knows.  There’s no hiding OFA anymore.  Pandora’s box is open and there’s no way to close it.  

While Best Jeanist is saying his piece on why Deku needs to stay at UA, there’s a panel of Shoto, Endeavor (wearing a trench coat and hat; you undercover, my dude?), and Hawks.  They’re listening to Jeanist too, but Shoto in particular looks frustrated.  His eyes are scrunched (or closed?) and his teeth are clenched.  It’s hard to tell.  I don’t think he’s frustrated at Best Jeanist.  I think he may be frustrated at himself for not doing more to protect Deku, his best friend.  Maybe...  I honestly don’t know with Shoto.  Based on his face in the last chapter and this panel, I have a feeling Shoto’s got something to say himself.  I always thought he probably had more to say back when they were rescuing Deku.  I bet he’s got a lot on his mind now.  Whatever it is, I hope he says it soon 💙.   

There’s this one page in particular where the crowd is expressing their fear and anger towards Deku and the heroes.  Deku in particular has his Danger Sense going off like crazy!  Even the panel lines are in the shape of those Danger Sense lightning bolts.  Deku mentioned that Danger Sense felt like a sharp pain in his head akin to a bad headache.  I wonder if he ever got used to that feeling.  Regardless, his head must be spinning right now.  It also shows how hostile the civilians are now...  ALSO INKO IS THERE WATCHING EVERYONE GO AFTER HER SON WHO IS IN AREADY TERRIBLE SHAPE AND SHE’S CRYING I CAN’T DO THIS LET THIS WOMAN HAVE SOME PEACE 😭💚

For the first time since probably the beginning of the series, Ochako calls Deku by his full name, Izuku Midoriya, during her speech.  That’s how serious this whole thing is.  The two people who called Izuku by his nickname, Deku, are now using his real name.  He’s not just Deku the hero, he’s Izuku Midoriya a student at UA.  

The large animal woman from before shows up again and recognize Deku as the hero who saved her.  Maybe other civilians will see Deku as the boy who saved them instead of the danger they see him as they do now.  

And I think that’s it!  A good chapter for Ochako especially 💖!  Cool to see her have another moment like this.  I know Ochako gets a lot of controversy, especially with her feelings for Deku, but I think she’s a good character.  I do agree that I wish Horikoshi gave her more to do in regards to herself as a character, though.  Like, this is great, but I would like more of this.  Kinda like Kirishima’s arc back in the Yakuza Raid: Mina was a big factor of his backstory, but it didn’t revolve around her.  Kirishima found his drive on his own and used the words from Crimson Riot as the reason he should become a Hero with no regrets.  I’m not going to argue with this further.  We do have that upcoming battle between her and Toga, so maybe that’ll help her character development more.  I hope so.    

But regardless, this was a good chapter that sets up things for the future.  I’d like to know what’s going on with the kids’ parents and/or siblings, Ragdoll and Kota (and the other Pussycats), Class 1-B, Eri, Aizawa (where the hell is he anyway???), Shoto, Inko, etc.  I gotta feeling might be coming to a new arc soon.

Me defending Deku from the angry mob: 

[passable-talent]

May I please request a zuko fix where the reader is a huge flower buff (like knows the meanings and names) and is more graceful and peaceful rather than a fighter despite being a fire bender and zuko thinks she doesn't care or take the war seriously and when zuko joins the gang he doesn't see how much she contributes until he sees her taking care of everyone one night and questions the others and learns she in fact is a fierce fighter and he takes her up on a challenge to see for himself

playful fight? where there’s a lil pride involved? but there’s also a lot of pining? hmmmmm

also I love/hate writing fight scenes bc they’re SO FUN but also I’m such a perfectionist (and actually a martial artist so like... I see flaws u know?) that I actually have to get up and act them out and that’s time consuming but also a good workout so whatever ? I guess

you would not believe the amount of flower research in both the avatar and real world I did before going into this ask

this is too much to preface a story with gd I’m annoying but I hope u don’t mind that I was gender nonspecific. It’s a thing with me since there’s like never any male readers on tumblr. so even though you kinda asked for female reader I made it gender nonspecific because that’s what I do I hope it’s ok

anyway here we go!!

Zuko simply did not understand.

The house where his family vacationed was big and beautiful, and a good place to hide until Sozin’s comet. What he never had noticed, until now, were the flowers growing all around the courtyard and the path to the beach. Over the years of disregard, the more exotic flowers had died and been replaced by native life, taking over much more than the flowerbeds he barely remembered the staff taking care of. There were fire lilies, those he recognized, but there were many other flowers that he had never bothered to learn the name of.

Y/N knew all of their names.

He didn’t understand you. He couldn’t figure you out. You were of the fire nation, and a bender, but he had never seen you fight. All you did, as far as he could tell, was pull the others away from danger, settle fights, and tend to flowers that seemed perfectly capable of survival all on their own. It’s not that it bothered him, but it did, because you seemed so absolutely noncommital. Nonchalant. Indifferent. How had another citizen of the fire nation come to the realization that the fire nation was evil, and gathered up the courage to join the avatar, and yet didn’t seem to care about the war at all?

When he’d first met you, he thought you didn’t have much use to the team at all. He thought you just another kid caught up in the war, like the others that were at the western air temple after the day of black sun. But after the brief battle with Azula, he came to see your worth.

“If only we had some Aloe,” you’d murmured as you passed him, on your way to Sokka’s side after he had complained of a sunburn, riding all day on Appa’s back.

“Can we get some?” Katara asked, leaning against the side of Appa’s saddle.

“No,” you replied, “too far away. It only grows near the Si Wong desert, and we definitely can’t go there right now.”

“So what can we do?” asked Katara again, and you shrugged, settling down beside Sokka, on his right while Toph clutched onto his left arm.

“The medical treatment for burns in the fire nation are less advanced then you’d expect. But there’s a few plants that can be soothing- even if not as much as Aloe. If there’s any banana leaf nearby our destination, that may help.” Zuko, though he’d remained silent, cocked an eyebrow in surprise. Medicinal knowledge of plants- that seemed extremely useful, especially given the group’s nomadic behavior. He briefly wished that you had been around while his uncle had had his quarrel with the white jade bush.

More so, though, in the following days he began to see your similarities to Katara- you were kind, and caring, and you made sure that the group was taken care of. You sat through worries and soothed fears the best you could, and that was admirable. You almost reminded him of his mother.

One question was left on his mind. If you were a fire bender- why did Aang need him to teach him firebending?

After you had gone to bed one night, he sat around a fire with Aang, Sokka, and Toph to pose that very question.

“Is it because they’re not a very strong bender? I’ve never even seen them use firebending, they must not be that good.”

“Oh, no,” Sokka said, “they’re actually really good. Probably better than you.” He laughed a bit after his words, earning a punch in the rib cage from Toph, which made Zuko think that Sokka was only trying to tease.

“Really?” He asked, looking to Aang, whose information he’d trust.

“Yeah,” Aang said, “they’re good. But they didn’t want to teach me- said that they didn’t have enough formal training. I think they just didn’t want to be that violent. They’re a pacifist, like me.”

“I could see that,” Zuko said, gazing into the fire. In his fingers he twirled an orange cyclamen, which you had given him before you’d gone to bed. When he’d asked why, you had responded that ‘it was a flower without meaning*, and the color reminded you of him’. He didn’t know what to do with it now, though, before he went to bed. He didn’t want to toss it in the fire, as that felt too heartless, but he knew it was dying now that it was picked. So, when he stood to return to his room for the night, he crouched by one of the overgrown flowerbeds and propped it up in the soil.

Maybe, from its turmoil, it would grow roots and live. Or maybe it would die surrounded by the beauty of the other flowers.

After spending all night wondering the true extent of your prowess, when morning came Zuko decided to find out.

“Spar me,” he said, catching you alone in the courtyard. “I need to be reminded what it’s like to fight a fire bender, and I’ve been told you’re quite good.” You let a little quirk of a smile onto your lips and turned to face him, tilting your head.

“You sure? What if it hurts your pride?” He shook his head, expression stoic as ever.

“It won’t. Either I’ll beat you or I’ll learn.” You took off an outer layer you’d been wearing and, carrying it, made your way toward the beach.

“Good way to think about it,” you said, laying down your jacket on a stone just outside the entryway. But as you straightened back up you planted your forward foot and flashed your other foot up and across, sending an arc of flame toward the prince. He quickly noticed that the game had begun and diverted the flame to his left, sliding his foot into a strong stance before punching flames toward you. By this time you had completed your spin and dove out of the path of his fire, rolling onto your feet and into a tight stance, your hands at your chest. You took them to your left, then swung them to your right to add momentum to your spin, lifting your feet from the ground for a round kick that sent another arc of flame toward him. He dove forward to get out of the way, getting closer to you, and sweeping one of your feet out from under you. You landed on your back, your fall cushioned as much as it could have been, and he pinned you down by hovering over you.

“You’re impressive,“ he said, and you gave him a look somewhere between pleading and fondness. His moment’s hesitation allowed you to swing your foot and use both its momentum and a shove from your elbows to flip him onto his back, your two foremost fingers creating a fire dagger at his throat, not close enough to threaten. This was only sparring, after all.

“Have you forgotten the rules of a match? It’s not over until the opponent yields.” He smiled, slightly, as he looked up at you.

“I yield.” You chuckled and stood up, giving him a hand to right him on his feet as well.

“You have more honor than I,” you told him, knowing that you only won thanks to trickery. A slight laugh rumbled from his chest and he tossed your jacket toward you again.

“How I’d love for my father to hear you say that.”

*a cyclamen a flower that, when given, expresses sincere feelings of admiration and romance. y/n was cheeky

-🦌 Roe

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep14

Do you ever wanna just watch two little girls who are actually 100+ year old witches beat the absolute SHIT out of each other for 20 minutes straight? :)

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus Umineko spoilers.

Part of this might just be because I’ve been high on painkillers for a few weeks now [long story short, I’ve got a lot of dental work that needs done], but this is perhaps the most entertaining episode of anime I’ve seen all year, lol. Not even in a jokey ironic ‘so bad it’s good’ way.

I feel like this is going to be the most polarizing episode of this whole show, because for better or worse it really crosses the line between Higurashi and Umineko, so whether or not you’re a fan of that whole trajectory the story’s been taking will really change how you feel about this.

Though to be honest I think on one level people are ignoring how Higurashi has always had a lot of these things in it. For one thing, the concept of the fragment space and ‘game boards’ has been a thing since Minagoroshi, and we’ve always had stuff like Hanyuu being a literal god who can manifest in the real world, and the existence of the mythical sword was hinted at in Matsuribayashi and then expanded upon in Kotohogushi. This episode also directly referenced the over the top rooftop fight scene from Tsumihoroboshi, which was just the start of Higurashi having lots of fun and silly fight scenes, like the fights between the club members and the military in Matsuribayashi, or the whole fighting game spin-off arc thing. Even in the VN there was an intentional shift from horror and mystery to high-octane fight scenes fueled by the power of friendship and miracles.

Obviously on the other hand there’s definite Umineko stuff going on here, but in general this feels like a pretty natural progression for this series to take.

Anyway, this was absolutely worth the wait, and it goes a long way toward making up for how bad the pacing in Sotsu has been thus far, lol. I still think they could have cut this down by at least two or three episodes, but still. As a climax to this whole conflict between Rika and Satoko, it was really cool.

Sort of like how Nekodamashi had it’s rollercoaster death montage, I really loved how this whole episode transitioned between fragments in increasingly seamless and surreal ways. The use of transition cuts between scenes was honestly really cool, and made it way more dynamic and engaging than it otherwise would have been to basically have an entire episode spent on one fight scene.

I think a lot of people are hung up on the exact logistics of how the fragment-hopping worked in this episode, but I don’t really think you should read into it too much. It basically operated on dream logic and heightened emotions. In the first few fragments Satoko might have waited a bit before attacking Rika, but it very quickly became one continuous sequence of events for all intents and purposes, with how their back and forth dialogue and their exact movements transitioned from one fragment to the next.

Basically it ended up becoming a fight between voyager witches who have become totally divorced from reality and just hop from one fragment to the next whenever they please.

I was wondering how they’d follow up on the gun scene, since it created this stalemate where they both know what’s going on and thus have no reason to surrender, but I really like how they decided to take this. I know a lot of people have been wanting more of a drawn out battle of wits between them, but the whole concept of them just getting into an endless fight with each other now that everything’s out in the open is extremely entertaining to watch.

It does make me even more convinced that it was a bad idea to have Nekodamashi happen in Gou, though. The immediate resolution to the cliffhanger was more anti-climactic than most people would have wanted after so much time spent leading back up to it, and the whole tone and pacing of Nekodamashi would have flowed very seamlessly into this. It also would have fixed the issue of the last two episodes being almost entirely recaps if this was instead the first time that we saw the Nekodamashi loops.

Anyway, there’s been a lot of debate about whether or not we might get a third season or some other kind of continuation to this, and I think this episode makes me way more convinced that it’s actually just going to end here, whether people like it or not. I think I’ve already said that there’s literally nothing the story needs to do anymore except have Rika and Satoko hash things out with each other, and that’s exactly what they’re focusing on now. Maybe they could spend time recapping Satokowashi, but that’d be extremely pointless. And at this point it’s pretty clear that one way or another the other club members just aren’t going to be very important to this story. There’s a bit of a loose end with their teenage selves showing up in the OP with new outfits, but that might be as simple as an epilogue scene set back in the Matsuribayashi fragment or something, and them looking ominous might be a red herring.

Also, in a more meta sense, there’s certain stuff the staff are doing and saying that make this seem like the finale of the whole series, like how in a couple months they’re going to release a congratulatory book compiling all the official artwork and interviews for Gou/Sotsu, or how they recently released a compilation CD of all of Ayane’s Higurashi-related songs, or how [I think] the artist for the Gou manga said on Twitter that the new chapter that just came out will be the last one to come out while the anime’s airing. We’re also getting two new Higurashi manga arcs starting soon, along with the reveal that the Gou manga will diverge from the anime and go into a new answer arc called Higurashi Jun.

So in general it just comes across like everything’s being wrapped up with Sotsu. I can see why people would be disappointed if we don’t get more, but with how the story’s been going, there’s just not really much material left to work with. Also, we know from TV listings that there at least won’t be a direct continuation in the next season, so if we get anything more it wouldn’t happen until January at earliest, and at this point I’d rather things just wrap up here instead of having to wait even longer to get the actual ending, lol.

I guess we won’t know how things will end until next week, but we really seem to be barrelling headfirst into this being Bern and Lambda’s origin story. Which has been pretty obvious for ages now, but this episode in particular really cements it. This whole fight is really similar to the one they have in Episode 8, and you can see throughout the episode how they’re embracing their looper/witch personas and becoming divorced from reality. You can even see the foundation for how Bern and Lambda have a twisted love for each other based on the fact that they’re basically the only people who can actually understand each other, and they’re so detached from reality that the violence between them is more like a sign of affection.

I feel like this is also going to end up tying into the miracle that Hanyuu is waiting for. At the moment we’re in a situation where it seems like they’re stuck in an infinite stalemate because they’re in a fight where neither of them wants to lose, but neither of them wants to win if it means permanently killing the other. So it seems like there might not really be any way out of this, but if they’re able to truly forgive each other and embrace their identities as witches, then they can basically step away from this entire conflict and just enjoy being with each other. It seems impossible for this to end with either of them ‘winning’ and things going back to how they used to be, so it could certainly be called a miracle if they both decide that they’re OK with that, and they take a third option where they can both be happy in a way that neither of them would have predicted at first.

This could also lead to a situation where Rika is able to ascend to a higher level by letting go of her human side once and for all, which could give her the ability to appear in the part of the fragment space where Eua and Hanyuu are, so she can save Hanyuu from getting killed by Eua’s spear.

And on that note, the whole bit with Hanyuu at the end actually reminds me a lot of the idea of logic errors in Umineko. I think people kinda over-use that term when it comes to stuff in this series where it doesn’t really fit, but that scene was actually extremely similar to the whole set-up where Battler got stuck in a locked room that he couldn’t come up with an answer to get out of, and he had to wait for the ‘miracle’ of Beatrice awakening so that Kanon could arrive and save him. Hanyuu is in a position where she’s already committed to flying straight at Eua, but the spear is right in front of her face and about to kill her once time starts again, and she has to wait for a ‘miracle’ to happen to change her fate. Which is also a lot like how in Matsuribayashi she almost got shot by Takano, but a miracle happened and Rika was able to divert the bullet. So it’d make a lot of sense in general if in the next episode we see Rika show up there and save Hanyuu.

And considering how Featherine acts in Umineko, I could honestly see Eua sticking to her word and rewarding Hanyuu if a miracle like that actually happens and saves her. So even if it’s anti-climactic, this might end with Eua accepting her loss and backing off, and maybe not even doing anything to punish Satoko for losing in her fight against Rika. Which is part of why I think the whole lingering threat of the ‘world without Rika’ might not even lead to anything and might just be a vague threat towards Satoko that never materializes.

Other than that, I think the last episode will probably also involve us going back to Matsuribayashi and seeing what sort of ending Rika and Satoko’s ‘human selves’ get once their ‘witch selves’ leave them behind once and for all. Which will probably just be along the lines of Rika going to the Saiguden to check up on Satoko, and them heading over to the cafe where the other club members [and probably Satoshi as well] are waiting for them, and it’ll just end on the note of them presumably working things out between each other peacefully.

Along those same lines, I think that the whole story of Gou/Sotsu will also get somewhat recontextualized as being a sort of deranged power fantasy that Satoko came up with in her head while visiting the Saiguden. I don’t think that’d be intended to devalue anything that happened here, but it’d be like how Umineko presents enough narrative framework for a non-magical interpretation of everything, while at the same time still acknowledging the value of the magical interpretation.

While I remember, I’m curious to see how the manga version turns out, since it’s clearly diverging a fair bit from the anime. It might just be an alternate take on the story concept, but at this point I think it might be presented as an ‘earlier loop’ of Gou/Sotsu, with how it’s been implied that Eua and Satoko have met before without Satoko remembering it. So maybe this whole series of events has repeated over and over again, presumably with Satoko ‘losing’ each time so things get reset, and Gou/Sotsu is the final iteration of that loop where they’re finally able to achieve a miracle.

I feel like the manga version is probably gonna end up being closer to what people wanted out of Sotsu, since it seems to be going in the direction of Rika knowing everything without Satoko knowing that, so they can have more of a drawn out conflict between each other as Rika tries to figure out how to win. Which is one way to take the story, but I still like how the anime ended up doing it, even if it could have been paced a lot better. I also think that the manga isn’t exactly a straight improvement over the anime anyway. There’s stuff it does well, but there’s stuff it doesn’t do well, like how the whole Nekodamashi arc feels extremely weird in the context of Rika not remembering her deaths [or at least not being given a clear reason for why she can suddenly remember them], her not deciding to go for five more loops before killing herself, and Satoko apparently not having any idea about Rika remembering her deaths, which seems to defeat the point of Nekodamashi’s rapid-fire death loops.

Either way I’m curious to see how Jun goes. I assume that we’ll still get some version of Satokowashi out of it, but I think that unlike with Sotsu they’ll spend much less time on answering the damashi arcs, and I also think at this point that the answers to them won’t be exactly the same as they were in the anime either.

Also, we recently found out that two entirely new Higurashi manga arcs will start in November, called Oniokoshi and Hoshiwatashi, which seem to be collectively referred to as Higurashi Rei, using the kanji from ‘the Reiwa era’, since it seems like the idea of these new arcs is that they take place in the Reiwa era. Oniokoshi seems to be about Keiichi’s son and a new mysterious character, while Hoshiwatashi seems to be about two entirely new characters, so I’m really curious to see how their stories pan out. I’m particularly excited about Oniokoshi since it’s being drawn by Natsumi Kei, who’s basically the primary artist for the Umineko manga, so that kinda makes me biased towards it, lol. And even though there’s basically nothing to go off of except for one preview image, it looks like it might go in a bit of a gay direction, which would be really neat. But we’ll see how it goes.

So yeah, I guess at this point with where things are going I’m gonna be really disappointed if we don’t get something like an Umineko remake after this, lol. It wouldn’t be very satisfying if it just ends on the note of ‘go and read the Umineko VN’ or something.

[sailormoonandme]

Where to start with Sailor Moon?

From time to time I’ve seen people ask about how to get into Sailor Moon or how they might introduce it to someone else. 

As such I’ve made this to (hopefully) help people out.

Introduction

So first of all you should know that the official name for the over all franchise is ‘Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon’. This can (and has) been translated a few ways, but the current official name is ‘Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon’. Basically everything connected with Sailor Moon carries this full official name, but for the purposes of this post I’m just going to shorten things to ‘Sailor Moon’.

Moving on,  there are in fact different versions of the Sailor Moon story, even putting aside the various attempts at translating the story into different languages. Each version is best viewed as its own entity, sort of how there have been various versions of Sherlock Holmes that exist independently of one another. 

For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to mostly keep this post to the original Japanese iterations of Sailor Moon, albeit from the point of view of an English speaking audience member.*

The main versions of the Sailor Moon story are as follows:

1) The Manga

The manga iteration of Sailor Moon began around late 1991/early 1992. It includes around 50 chapters, a handful of side stories and a prequel manga of sorts called Codename: Sailor-V. There have been several different English translations of this material over the years. However, my personal recommendation would be to experience the story through the ‘Eternal Editions’. These are easily available in print and digitally. As of this writing Codename: Sailor-V is scheduled to be collected in at some point in 2021, thus collecting all the manga stories.

2) The 1992 anime

This is the most famous iteration of Sailor Moon and loosely adapts the manga to the point where it is its own entity. It spans 200 episodes across five seasons, with each season being given its own subtitle. E.g. season 2 is referred to as ‘Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon R’. Additionally there were a handful of shorts and specials connected with the anime and three films. I have already compiled a watch list for the show that I hope will help you navigate everything.

Like the manga, there have been multiple efforts to subtitle the show into English, particular among fan subbing circles. However, the easiest way to watch the show with English subs is to do so via a streaming service (last I checked it was available on Hulu and Crunchyroll) or to purchase the DVDs and Blu-rays from Viz Media, although you can also purchase them digitally on Amazon.com too.

3) The musicals

 On and off since 1993 there have been stage musicals produced for Sailor Moon. If you ever see the term ‘Sera Myu’ being used by fans (or even official sources) understand that it’s shorthand for these musicals.

The musicals are based chiefly upon the manga and the original anime, although with some original embellishments here and there. The degree to which a musical cuts closer to the manga, or the anime or does something all its own varies from one production to another. I’m not very well read up on the musicals I must admit, but it is to my understanding that each production exists independently from one another beyond at times carrying over cast and staff members. In essence there is no particular order you need to watch the musicals in. However, if you want more info on the musicals see the below EDIT, which is more well informed than I am.

To my knowledge, (which is limited in this particular case) all the musicals have been filmed but there has never been any kind of official English release for them. There have however been fan subbed efforts made for all of them. 

4) The 2003 live action TV show

In fan circles this show is referred to as ‘Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon’ or ‘Pretty Guardian’ or ‘PGSM’. This is because it was the first piece of Sailor Moon media to bear that particular English translation of ‘Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon’. Basically if you see ‘Pretty Guardian’ or ‘PGSM’, understand it is referencing this show.

The show exclusively adapts the ‘Dark Kingdom’ storyline, the first storyline in every version of Sailor Moon. The show was made in a similar vein to shows like Kamen Rider or Super Sentai and the latter’s American adaptation, Power Rangers. However, it also incorporates elements of Japanese soap opera dramas too, original elements that were never in any version of Sailor Moon beforehand and many different spins on the plot points that had been covered before. 

To my knowledge, like Sera Myu, no official English release for this show exists, but English fansubs are out there somewhere. If you manage to find the show then you should watch the various episodes and specials in their original broadcast order. For this Wikipedia is your friend. 

5) Sailor Moon Crystal

Sporadically since 2014 a new Sailor Moon anime has been in production. This new anime cuts much closer to the original manga (although it still makes some changes ) than any other version of Sailor Moon. As of this writing, the show has yet to be completed and still has material from the manga left to adapt. The show is available to watch with English subtitles from the same sources as the original 1992 anime, including DVDs and Blu-Rays from Viz Media.

Like the original anime, Crystal’s story arcs and seasons have gone under different names. The first two seasons/arcs are officially just called ‘Sailor Moon Crystal’, whilst the third is explicitly titled ‘Sailor Moon Crystal Season III’. In place of a fourth season two films, Sailor Moon: Eternal Part 1 and Part 2, were produced. As of this writing, the Eternal films have yet to have any kind of English release. To make your life easier, watch this show in the order of the original air/release dates. Just remember the Eternal films are to be viewed after Season III.

Which version should you start with?

Whilst that is how the franchise breaks down, it is not the order a Sailor Moon newbie should try experiencing it in.

My personal recommendation would be to begin with the original 1992 anime and then move on to any of the other versions from there. This is because the original anime is aimed at a younger audience and was incredibly influential on basically every other version of the story. 

However, if 200 episodes or more is too intimidating for you, then simply check out the manga. It’s far shorter, skewed a bit older and tells a concise and complete story. 

And if you are still apprehensive then I’d highly recommend watching the first Sailor Moon film, Sailor Moon R The Movie. This is a very good film unto itself but it is a microcosm of the characters and themes that define the franchise as a whole. If you dislike this Sailor Moon just isn’t for you. 

P.S. If you are simply dead set against subtitles then you should know the original 1992 anime and Crystal have in fact been dubbed into English by Viz Media. In fact, the first four seasons of the original anime, along with the first three films, have two English dubs, variously produced by DiC, Cloverway and Pioneer. These dubs were made in the 1990s and early 2000s and are currently not legally available anywhere. 

*Things get more complicated when we consider that even in Japan there have been updated and altered versions of the Sailor Moon manga, anime, etc. We aren’t going to worry about that in this post though. They exist and maybe someday you might be inclined to check them out, but you know...baby steps...

EDIT #1: The following information comes from https://euribear.tumblr.com/

Just something I want to add on about the Sailor Moon Musicals.

If you see a musical with the word Kaiteiban (revision) at the end of the name, that means it’s a revised version of the previous musical. Things added or taken away, different cast members at times, etc.

Also, there are three musicals (technically four) that have a continuous storyline. Starring Miyuki Kanbe as Sailor Moon, Last Dracul, Transylvania no Mori (and its Kaiteiban), and Death Vulcan should be viewed in order.

The Bandai era of musicals were from 1993 to 2005.

The Nelke musicals started in 2014 and there was one each year for five years. One musical for each arc of the manga.

There are also the NogiMyu. These are musicals that solely focus on the Dark Kingdom arc and they star various members of the pop idol group Nogizazaka46.

There were two teams of cast members for the inner senshi for both years, 2018 and 2019. The same story overall, just different actresses.

There was also Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon The Super Live. My personal favorite, this was a musical performed only a few times. A couple of days in Japan in 2018 and then once in Paris in 2019 and then in Washington D.C. and later in NYC. I got to see this in person on one of the three showings in NYC. A dream come true. Unfortunately, this was never recorded, though they did release an instrumental musical album of the show.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters. 

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late. 

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once. 

hachikireru by vaudelin  (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America. 

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!