#Neutrality is NOT neutrality in the face of evil

[polgarawolf1]

FFS, people, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the EXACT SAME modus operandi of HITLER AND THE NAZIS in the leadup to WWII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm tired of Eastern European countries being sacrificied by the West in order to appease Russia. this is exactly what happened after WW2, this is what might as well happen now

[xoxoaugust]

I Dont Know If I'll See You Again

In which: Sae Itoshi knew what he wanted from the beginning. He wanted to be a professional soccer player, and to play alongside those who weren't a waste of time (well according to him). Unbeknownst to Sae, a little birdie told him that you, a childhood friend of his, would be in Spain for the next three years. He didn't think he'd ever see you again, especially not after your, not so peaceful falling-out. But who knows what might happen when he comes face to face with you again? (2.0k wc)

an: This is 4 years after the start of the first selection, so Sae is around 22 years old. In this timeline, Sae and Rin have made up (because I said so) and he has returned to Spain to continue playing. I put this with the U-20 team because the only other person I know of that was on the Spainish team is Luna, sooooooo idk idk. Reader is fem, and is a university student in film studies. Enjoyyyy!(might make multiple parts)

His POV

January 1st, 2022

The New Year, god he hated the New Year. What is so special about a new year? It's just another 365 days to spend, what is so different that you must celebrate so loudly. Sae was just a little bit grumpy that all he could hear was loud music, drunkenly cheers, and laughter all night long.

Sae was meticulous about his night routine, he would work out, shower, brush his teeth, wash his face, set his hair, put on his sleep mask and then pass out. Unfortunately for his teammates, he couldn't sleep properly that night, so now everyone must suffer. Luckily, practices were called off for the week, for new years, and weather reasons.

'no practice' is not a thing to Sae, even if they were called off, he would still be at that field. So there he was 6:00 AM on January 1st, practicing alone. He didn't mind being alone, he was more than used to it. But sometimes, even just for a split second, he forgets that there was a time where he wasn't truly lonely. That split second eats at his mind like that plague, he hated how vulnerable it made him feel, so he would act like it never happen.

January 5th, 2022

When he wasn't at the field practicing or at home watching clips, he would be found at the little family cafe down a couple blocks from his penthouse. He would go there after an early morning jog, and order the same thing. An unsweetened iced matcha with a yogurt fruit bowl, he liked it because it didn't fill him up too much before a practice.

That morning at practice in locker rooms, he overheard something...interesting. He couldn't give a crap about anything Aiku had to say, but this was the only time he was truly listening.

"A close friend of mine is coming back for some time, she hasn't told me how long she's going to stay, but she's studying here."

Out of curiosity, Sendou asks,

"What's her name? Is she hot?"

"Why is that the first thing you think of? She's pretty but thats so weird to say. Her name is [y/n]."

"Well my bad! Its not like i'm going to try, I'm going to date a hot actress."

The groans let out in that room echoed from wall to wall, but Sae on the other hand broke character. Sae is know for his neutral, cold demeanor, but hearing your name clashed against the chink in his armor, and was enough for the walls to come crashing down.

November 27th, 2017

His POV

God, what a drag. Why was Rin so damn persistent on that dream, it wasn't even realistic.

Sae had just won the goal against Rin, and sealed the deal of scrapping that old dream. He had to say, he didn't enjoy saying this to his brother, but if no one was going to be honest with him, who was?

He knew his brother would be at that field, but he didn't know that you would be there.

He turned to look at you, standing there with a shocked expression and teary eyes. He couldn't stand it, why were you looking at him like that? Like he was evil, or something.

You walked closer to the brothers. Sae thought you would walk to him and say something. Maybe a 'Welcome back!' or something that matched your usually cheerful personality. But no, you walked right over to Rin, and helped him up off the ground.

Rin saw you like an older sister, you basically were. You always made sure he took care of himself, even before Sae left. He had immense respect for you, he considered you his best friend.

Rin stared down at you with a heartbreaking expression, tears flowed down his face as he avoided making eye contact with you for too long, he thought it might spare some of his dignity.

Your POV

At first you were shocked, how could Sae do this? Easy answer, this wasn't your Sae.

Your Sae would rather die than ever hurt his little brother, he would never intentionally hurt him. Your Sae would give his younger brother the last popsicle, he would bandage his wounds, he would play with him, protect him from anything or anyone that even tried to harm his precious brother. They were like peas in a pod.

You would know, you and Sae had practically raised Rin. You would pack him and Sae food to eat after playing because they would always forget, and they would always get hangry. They would stop by your house right next door and take you to their games, to get popsicles. You saw how kind Sae truly was, Rin brought out the best in him.

But now, he's changed.

Now you felt anger, unadulterated rage.

You didn't hesitate. Not even a little bit.

You shot a glare at him before marching up to him.

You slapped the everliving shit out of him.

You left a red mark on his face, the hands he used to hold had now hurt him.

The two of you never dated, but you acted like a couple. Just two kids holding hands on the park benches eating snacks, stolen glances and warm cheeks.

Sae was your first love, and you were his first love.

No, scratch that. You taught him love.

He stood there, like a kicked puppy holding his cheek. No expression, just a frown tattooed on his pretty face, the same on he walked in with.

You never yelled at him, until today.

"Sae Itoshi, I don't know what happened to you in Spain, and honestly I don't care right now, but you cannot treat Rin this way!

I don't know who you think you are, maybe that 'Japan's Treasure' title finally got to you, but the audacity is appalling!

You come back after FOUR WHOLE YEARS, you didn't contact Rin or I for three years out of the four.

and the first FUCKING thing you say is say is this lame, no PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HELLO?

no, you don't get to treat either of us this way, some treasure you are."

That got his attention.

"What did you want me to do? Let him live on with some childish dream? He won't get anywhere dreaming like a toddler. I was busy building my career, not that you would know anything about that."

If you weren't angry before, you were SCATHING now.

You took a breath in, and out.

You wanted to scream, but you knew it would be a lost cause.

"When did you get so cruel?"

...

Thats where the memory ended before Aiku's loud voice snapped him out of his daze. His mind clouded by the vision of her teary eyes.

It couldn't be you right? There could always be another person with the same name, there's no way you could ever be friends with Oliver Aiku.

*incoming call from [name]*

Oliver picked up his phone and answered your call.

"Hey what's up?"

"I'm at the airport right now, can you drop me to my apartment building?"

"I am nothing but a servant to you huh?"

"So dramatic, i'll just take an uber you lazy ass"

Oliver laughs before saying

"No i'm done with practice i'm on my way"

Now he was sure, it was you. He would never forget that voice. The voice that he would wait to hear every night over the phone when he first went to Spain. The voice that brought him comfort when he was homesick. And the same voice that flooded him with guilt for the last 5 years.

a week later ----------------------------------------------------------------

He jogs to his little cafe down the street, same time as usual. He walks in, slightly sweaty.

As he approached the counter, he froze.

"Can I have one sweetened iced matcha and one avocado toast? Thanks!" You smiled as you swiped the card and clicked the 20% tip option before turning around to find a nice table.

When you turned around, you made eye contact with Sae.

It was as if time stood still, or rather time spun backwards.  

You hated this, you hated how you turned into that lovesick little girl in his presence, even after five whole years.  

You broke eye contact. You weren’t going to let him ruin your breakfast or ruin your stay in Spain. You walked past him to the nice table next to the window.  

He walked up to the register and order his usual. He tends to forget that he grew to love matcha because of you, yet another reminder of you.  

He grabs his food and sits at the table right next to you.  

“You just can’t leave me alone, can you?” You said sharply. 

“You’re sitting at the table I usually sit at; this was the next best seat.” 

“Still an ass I see” you laughed bitterly. 

You sipped on your matcha as you typed away on your laptop, being an exchange student was no joke. You felt Sae’s eyes on your screen.  

“What are you studying here?” Sae asked. 

You sighed, loudly.  

“I’m here for my bachelor’s degree, in film studies.” 

“You still want to be an actor? Wow, you haven’t changed.” 

You turned to him and glared. 

“No, I'm studying to be a director.”  

He turned his head to look at you.

"You always talked about how much you wanted to be an actress, what changed?"

You scoffed, how dense can one man be?

"Well people change, you're walking proof."

He sighed, he and Rin had made up years ago, why were you still upset?

"You know Rin and I made up right?"

You stopped typing.

"I know." You said softly.

In all honesty, you didn't know why you were still angry, it was probably bitterness because he didn't reach out in those five years to say anything, but then again you didn't expect him to anyways.

In your mind you felt bad, you shouldn't hold a grudge, especially not for this long, but you'd never admit that out loud.

"How have you been? It's been a while." You said, in effort to reciprocate the conversation.

"Not too bad, what about you?"

"I'd be good if my professor wouldn't assign more than he can grade, but aside from that i'm good."

You smiled awkwardly before turning back to your laptop to type. Sae felt relief, he's never felt this tense about anything.

"How is Rin? Did you see him before coming here?" he asked.

You felt a smile creep up to your lips, you knew he loved his brother.

"I did, he's doing great, he's playing in pro leagues now, watch out though, he might kick your ass."

He almost laughed, you're still the funny and loving girl you've always been. You sat in comfortable silence for the remaining time, but as you got up to leave and say goodbye, he stops you. He writes something down on a notecard that slipped out of your bag.

"Is this your number?"

"Yes, I got a new one back when I got a new phone. Call me if you need anything."

You smiled.

"I will, i'll see you around." You waved at him before walking out of the cafe.

You had only just left, but Sae hopes that you'll call soon.

As he jogs back to his penthouse, he feels his phone vibrate.

Today 7:13 AM

Is this Sae? It's {name}

Yes this is Sae.

jeez you text like an old man

Using grammar is being like an old man?

yes

Now I see how you and Aiku are friends.

thats so mean :(

whatever

Oliver told me to come to one of your practices so you might see me there

Okay, see you then.

He felt his chest bubble when he heard you call Aiku by his first name. But, at least he knew when he'd see you again.

xoxo, august

(pt 2 upon request)

[bell-swamp-fitzjames]

oops all lieutenants! playlists for the terror (2018)

What an auspicious day! Not only did the davechella playlist post early enough for me to enjoy it as usual, I get the joy of sharing my Edward Little playlist. Along with the other lieutenants of my fav show, minus Jopson who I know could & should be on here, but he got dropped with the doctors in honor of DJ Doll Eyes Sunday. Below will be all the playlists linked & every playlist made thus far can be found on the pinned post in my blog. Check it out, I got a lot of guys so far. Thanks to all who listen to me yap (or check out the playlists), as always this is a lot of fun. And without further ado...

Edward Little [LINK]

пачка сигарет by Kino || Angel by Massive Attack, Horace Andy || Tom's Diner by Vega, DNA || Ladies of the Canyon by Joni Mitchell || She's Lost Control by Joy Division || Cherry Came Too by Jesus and the Mary Chain || Don't Know Why by Slowdive || A Forest by The Cure, Mark Saunders || Ana by Pixies || Deep Water by Strawberry Switchblade || My Evil by Palehound || Deep Water by Vundabar || Ghost by Neutral Milk Hotel || Under Ice- 2018 Remastered by Kate Bush || The River Song by Donovan || Sea, Swallow Me- 2024 Remastered by Cocteau Twins, Harold Budd || Static Shape by Chad VanGaalen || There Is a Light That Never Goes Out- 2011 Remaster by The Smiths || Tibetan Pop Stars by Hop Along || Tainted Love by Soft Cell

John Irving [LINK]

Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain || Losing My Religion by Hootie & The Blowfish || Little Big Mistakes by Tom Rosenthal || God Only Knows by The Langley Schools Music Project || Goodnight Bad Morning by The Kills || Everyman Needs a Companion by Father John Misty || Oh Holy Night by Andrew Bird || Troubled Waters by Cat Power || Divine Loser by Clem Turner || Monkey Gone To Heaven by Pixies || Dissonance- Demo by AJJ || O Come O Come Emmanuel by Sufjan Stevens || Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam by The Vaselines || This Night Has Opened My Eyes- 2011 Remaster by The Smiths || First Love / Late Spring by Mitski || Don't Get Lost in Heaven by Gorillaz || Knife Going In- Demo by Tegan and Sara || Your Silent Face - 2015 Remaster by New Order || Picture Of My Dress by The Mountain Goats || Unfucktheworld by Angel Olsen

George Hodgson [LINK]

Shangri-La by Electric Light Orchestra || POOR GEORGE by James Supercave || Erreur 404 by L'Imperatrice || Let's Get Lost by Chet Baker || Adoro te devote by Stirps lesse, Enrico De Capitani || Postcards from Italy by Beirut || Theme From New York, New York- 2008 Remaster by Frank Sinatra || Tried And True by Ween || Soil, Soil by Tegan and Sara || Dreamer by Supertramp || Oh l'amour - Edit by Erasure || Heatwave by Martha Reeves & The Vandellas || Radio Ga Ga- Remastered 2011 by Queen || Boys Don't Cry by The Sure || Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks || Send Me An Angel by Real Life || We Three (My Echo, My Shadow, And Me) by The Ink Spots || Love & Pride by King || It's My Life - 1997 Remaster by Talk Talk || Girlfriend In A Coma by The Smiths

Graham Gore [LINK]

Glow In The Dark by Lil Pump || Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD || EARFQUAKE by Tyle, The Creator || Doomsday by NERO || The Blonde Leading the Blond by Wax Fang || Outsiders by Franz Ferdinand || Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk || Hit the Ground by No Mana, Bertie Scott || Alien Boy by Oliver Tree || 3005 Childish Gambino || Fade Out by Seether || Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi, MGMT, Ratatat || Hay Ya! by Outkast || Party and Bullshit by The Notorious B.I.G. || Oblivion by Grimes || Dammit by blink-182 || 4th Dimension by KIDS SEE GHOSTS || Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz || Beast of Burden - Remastered 1994 by The Rolling Stones || All Caps by Madvillain, Madlib, MF DOOM

Henry Le Vesconte [LINK]

Cold Cold Cold by Cage The Elephant || Frostbiter by Saintseneca || Hopscotch by Pinc Louds || Electric Funeral by Slothrust || General Discomfort by Serpent Cobra || Rainbow in the Dark by Dio || Gouge Away by JEFF The Brotherhood || Guts- 2013 Remaster by Budgie || Mansion of Misery by Miniature Tigers || If I Stay (Awake) by The Worn Flints || Feel the Heat by Me Like Bees || Polly's God by Perfekt Square || Don't Forget the Sun by Wailin' Storms || Codeine by Welles || Sick Day by Fountains of Wayne || Keep in Mind by Breakneck Flow || Sick Shit- Live from Lincoln Hall by Together Pangea || What's Done Is Done by Madde || Black Cat Heaven by Dan Luke and the Raid || Grapefruit High by French Thyme

James Fairholme [LINK]

Frostbite by punkett || Beheaded by The Offspring || Barcelone by Tommy Hools || Eleanor by Cake Bake Betty || Surchin 4 U by Naked Giants || The Party's Crashing Us by of Montreal || There Is No God by Mrs. Magician || I Still Love My Body by Yabadum || Shut Me Down by Godflesh || Jazzhole by Free the Robots || Out Of Gas by Modest Mouse || Fuck Off by The Frogs || Winter's Going by DJ Signify, Buck 65 || Bitin' the Bullet by GROUPLOVE || Like a Star by Mike Krol || Cold Cadaver by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard || Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox || Fell Down a Hole by Wolfmother || Hello Cruel World by Dent May || Woof Woof by ARTHUR

[jjkarmy091]

The Boyfriend Game- Jungkook (finale)

-> synopsis: You never thought that fighting for a position in JV's team would end up with you falling for the guy who was helping you out with it, especially since he had the same rule as you: no date, no romance, just socceer

> pairing: Soccer playerJungkook x (f) reader

> genre: romance, strangers to friends to lovers; angst; fluff

> word count: 8k

Monday was the worst day of my life. Jennie ignored me all day and Sana tried to be neutral. Practice was the worst. Jennie knocked me to the ground three times and played the best I’d ever seen her play. Even with how much I’d improved during the time I’d been practicing with Jungkook, she was still better than I was. I was peeling my face out of the dirt for the third time when Sana squatted next to me. “You okay?” 

“Great.” I spit some grass out of my mouth and sat up. 

“You might want to apologize. That would help.”  

“Apologize? I was trying to help her!” Sana picked something out of my hair and tossed it on the field.  

“Well she doesn’t see it that way.” 

“Gee, you think?” She looked past me. “Especially when Tae showed up to practice again to watch you.” 

“What?” I twisted around to peer behind me. Sure enough, Taehyung was  lounging on the sidelines, wearing his Nike shades and his usual jeans. Jimin was standing next to him, kicking his toes in the dirt and shooting periodic glances at Sana. Those two really needed to get together. 

“Great. Like that’s all I need is to have Tahyung here to bug me . . .” But as I studied him, I realized he wasn’t looking at me, he was in fact studying the field where the action was. I turned to look in the direction he was gazing and my heart skipped, he was looking at Jennie! No way. But he definitely was. 

Grinning, I stood up and dusted myself off, watching Jennie sprint around like someone had given her a bad haircut and ruined her life. She had no idea Taehyung was watching her. She was simply being a pain in the butt to destroy me. 

“What are you looking at?” Sana asked. 

“Taehyung’s here to see Jennie, not me.” 

“Nuh-uh . . .” Then she faded to quiet as she saw what I was seeing. “Wow. 

She has no idea. I’ll go tell her.” I grabbed her arm before she could move.  

“No. Taehyung only liked her when she forgot about impressing him and stopped being a stupid, flirty girl. If you point it out, she’ll go all weird on him again.”  

Coach Merrill blew her whistle, signaling the end of practice and I saw Jennie shoot an evil glance at us before marching over to help Coach round up the soccer balls. My jaw tightened when I saw her chatting up the coach, she never talked with Coach. Ever. She was doing it just to get on the team just to displace me from varsity.  

“I never tried to take him from her, but she’s for sure trying to steal my dream.” Sana shot me a look but said nothing. What could she say? She knew I was right. 

As we watched, Taehyung sidled up toward Jennie and started helping her pick up the balls. She jerked her gaze toward him, then grinned, then said something and he laughed, his gaze latched on to her face like she was all he needed to survive. I pressed my lips together at the sight of their little bonding.  

I wanted Jungkook to look at me like that just one time. I wanted him to walk up and be all cool and casual even after finding out that I liked him. 

“Look at that. Tae ditched Jimin. You think I should go keep him  company?” Sana was watching Jimin with the most pathetically wistful look on her face I’d ever seen. 

“Yeah, you should. Go talk to him.” 

“Okay.” She nodded once, ran her fingers through her hair and then trotted over to him. He gave her a shy but totally adoring grin when he saw her approaching him. I stood there, alone, watching my friends make these guys smile, and I knew what I had to do. I marched over to “our” field and there he was, kicking goals while he waited for me. Enough! He was adorable and funny and talented and I simply couldn’t take it anymore. Jungkook glanced over at me and grinned.  

“Hey.” I took a deep breath and walked toward him. His smile faded.  

“What’s wrong? You look ticked off.” 

“I can’t practice with you anymore.” He frowned.  

“Why not? This is the big week. Crunch time.” 

“I know, but I’m going to do it on my own.” His frowned deepened.  

“Why?” 

“Because I am.” I started to turn to leave, then hesitated at the look of confusion on his face. Over the last couple of weeks, he’d become my friend and I owed him an explanation of some sort. It wasn’t his fault he was an idiot, so I caved. “Here’s the thing, Jungkook, that kiss was way out of line.” He grimaced.  

“But I said it didn’t mean anything.” 

“Exactly.” A little furrow formed on his brow.  

“So?” I shook my head, not quite willing to actually lay it out there. I mean it was one thing to hint at it, it was another to announce I liked him and I wasn’t interested in being treated like a leper from the guy I considered my friend. 

“So you changed the rules when you kissed me and I can’t go back.” He cocked his head.  

“Why not?” I poked him in the chest.  

“Because you’re wrong. A girl and a guy can’t kiss on the lips and have it mean nothing, okay? Not a kiss like that.” He stared at me as a look of shock started to fill his face.  

“Are you saying that you liked my kiss?” 

“That’s not the point!” 

“But did you?”  

“Forget it!” I threw my hands up in the air and started stalking back toward the gym. I could not have this conversation. Jungkook was beside me in, like, one second.  

“Can you stop walking for one minute? We need to talk.”  

“What’s there to say?”  

“Do you . . . like me? Like, like me?” he asked. I heard the hesitation in his voice and I bit my lower lip. This was it. The end of our friendship I could already feel him drawing away. I took a deep breath, steeled my resolve and then turned to face him. His eyes were wary and he wasn’t touching me. He looked so cute, so awesome and all I wanted to do was say yes, to tell him the truth. He took a step backward, away from me. “Do you?” 

I lifted my hand and he flinched and backed up another step, in case I was planning to touch him. My throat tightened up but I had my answer. There was only one response I could give him if I had any pride, so I set my hands on my hips and met his gaze.  

“Jungkook, I think you’re a great soccer player and I enjoy hanging out with you, and yeah, I think you’re a decent kisser.” His skin took on this greenish tinge and he shifted his weight, shoving his hands deep inside his pockets “But quite frankly, you’re not my type.” 

Relief cruised over his face making me want to bury my head in a pile of leaves and cry.  

“That’s great.” He chucked me on the shoulder. “You had me worried for a minute. Don’t mess with me like that. I can’t take it.” 

I started walking toward the gym again, noticing that Jennie and Sana with their boys were hanging out in a little foursome by the field. I could hear their laughter and it made me feel even more alone, so I shot Jungkook a haughty look.  

“You’re delusional if you think I could ever be interested in you.” I laughed even as my heart was breaking into tiny little pieces. The varsity girls were walking in the opposite direction of me, toward the field. I wanted to be with them. If I were with them, Jungkook wouldn’t matter anymore. His shoulders relaxed at my words and he fell in next to me as I walked. Then after a minute or two he cocked his head.  

“What’s so wrong with with me?” I rolled my eyes while I tried to come up with a reason that he’d believe. 

“Because . . . you’re like a girl.” His eyebrows shot up.  

“What? ” I coughed to stifle a laugh. “You’re like one of my girlfriends, except you like sports as much as I do. I can talk about anything with you, and we have fun and stuff.” I nodded. “Yep, you’re like a girlfriend with hairy legs.”  

“A girlfriend with hairy legs?” he repeated, his voice slightly elevated. 

“Yeah. And you smell worse than girls after soccer, but other than that, it’s pretty much the same.” I had to turn away from the look of horror on his face so he didn’t see me crack up. Pride salvaged, I guess. I yanked open the door to the gym and he grabbed it as I stepped inside. He was looking at me, like he couldn’t quite figure me out.  

“You’re some kind of piece of work, Y/n.” I managed a cheeky grin that I didn’t believe.  

“With compliments like that is it any wonder you’re like a girlfriend to me? That’s not the kind of thing a guy would say to a girl.” He frowned, but didn’t reply. Inside all I wanted to do was shrivel up and die. It was over between us, we’d kissed, it had been awesome and he still wanted to run away from me. The only thing that salvaged our relationship was the fact I’d called him a girlfriend with hairy legs, how truly pathetic. I stopped outside the girls’ locker room, where I could hear my teammates laughing and giggling.  

“I gotta go.” He grabbed my arm before I could open the door.  

“Why? Why are you ditching me this week? Just because of a kiss? I don’t get it. I didn’t think you were the type to get all worked up about things like that.” I looked at him with his brown hair all messed up and his intense brown eyes and for the first time wondered what I was doing liking him.  

I mean, seriously, should I really waste my time liking a guy who would freak out at the thought of me liking him? A guy who hadn’t noticed I was a girl even after I was dressed like a total babe on Friday night? It was time to stop liking him. I deserved more than to have to spend time around him, watching every word I said in case I scared him off being miserable because I couldn’t stop liking him and he didn’t like me.  

“Oh, I’m a girl, Jungkook. You were the one who didn’t notice.” Then I shoved open the door to the locker room and let it slam shut in his face.  

The next two days were even worse. I avoided Jennie and Sana and ducked into the bathroom once when I saw Jungkook walking toward me when I was on my way to English class. I arrived at the last second to classes and took off at the first minute the class was over, so Jennie and Sana wouldn’t have to make up a reason not to talk to me. 

I went to practice. I busted my butt. I tried not to notice Taehyung and Jimin there, cheering on Jennie and Sana. I didn’t go to the field where Jungkook and I used to practice, I wanted to sneak over to “our” field to see if he was waiting for me. I wanted to, so badly tho. 

But I didn’t. I couldn’t.  

Hanging out with him right now . . . I couldn’t take it. The thought of spending time with him and not having him even acknowledge I was a girl . . . it was just too awful, so I talked my mom into buying me a bunch of cones of my own and I took a couple of balls and cones and practiced at the middle school on Tuesday and Wednesday.  

It sucked, I was so lonely, but I wasn’t about to give up on varsity and I couldn’t bear the thought of all my friends and Jungkook seeing me by myself, like some pathetic loser, so I was a pathetic loser in private. Much better. 

I was so bummed out that it didn’t even help when my dad stopped by the house to drop off new cleats for me. I knew my mom must have called him and told him how miserable I was, so he’d brought the shoes. 

All it made me do was think of Jungkook—how he’d said that my dad probably really did care but was just too busy. I needed my dad, and he’d delivered, just like Jungkook had said. 

Wednesday night I was sitting on my bed, picking grass out of my new cleats and I thought of calling Jungkook to tell him that he’d been right about my dad. Jungkook would want to know, he’d be happy for me. I picked up my phone and pulled up Jungkook’s number, stared at it, then hung up. Polished my cleats. Eyed my phone. Opened it again. Pulled up. Opened it again, pulled up Jungkook’s number and then I hit send. 

Then I disconnected and threw my phone on my pillow. I needed to stop obsessing! It rang five seconds later and I dove for it, my heart jumping when I saw it was Jungkook. I flipped it open. 

“Hello?” My voice sounded breathless, and I cringed. 

“Did you just call?” I flopped back on the bed at the sound of his voice. Deep, soft, perfect. 

“Yeah. I was just going to tell you that my dad surprised me with new cleats for tryouts on Friday.” 

“That’s awesome.” I could hear the smile in his voice and suddenly I felt totally upset again. I so wasn’t over him. “See? Nothing to worry about, Y/n.” 

“Yeah.” I twirled my hair around my finger. “So, that’s it. I’ll, um, talk to you later.” 

“Wait!” I put the phone back to my ear.  

“What?”  

“Listen, Y/n, I screwed up with the kiss thing and I’m sorry.” I said nothing. What was there to say? He groaned and I heard something crash like he’d kicked something over. 

“Come on, Y/n, can you cut me a little slack? I want to be friends. Can’t we be friends?” Friends. What an ugly word.  

“I don’t think so. Not right now.” 

“Give it tomorrow. We’ll practice and see how it goes. You do want to make varsity, don’t you?” I pressed my lips together and nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me.  

“Yeah.”  

“So, let’s do it. You need me.”  

“No.” I lifted my chin. “I don’t need you, actually. I think I have to do it on my own from now on. If you want a friend, go hang out with Winter, I’m sure she’d be happy to kiss you and have it mean absolutely nothing.” And then I hung up and tossed my phone aside. I deserved more than what he could give me and I didn’t need a pity practice from him. 

I was wearing my new cleats and walking across the field to JV practice on Thursday when I felt someone fall into step beside me. No, there was someone on both sides of me. I dragged my gaze off the ground and looked up. It was Jennie and Sana, one on either side, trapping me.  

“What do you want?” I snapped.  

“To apologize,” Jennie announced. I shot her a disbelieving look. 

“Are you kidding?” 

“Nope.” She and Sana exchanged glances. “See, I’ve been sort of hanging out with Taehyung this week.” I kicked at a tuft of grass and kept walking.  

“I noticed.”  

“He likes me.”  

“Great.”  

“And it’s because of you.” I looked up at that.  

“What?” Jennie shrugged, looking sheepish.  

“He told me about your conversation at Pop’s with him. How you told him I was actually cool, if he’d just look for it. Because of what you said, he noticed me and because of what you told me about acting dumb around him, when he did start paying attention, I dropped the act.” She smiled, her eyes bright with happiness. “So now we’re . . . kind of dating and I owe you for it. I love you and I’m sorry. Really, I’ve been a jerk.” She slung her arm over my shoulder.  

“And the cool thing is, that when I started working hard this week on soccer to bust you, I realized how much I love the game. It’s fun to sweat! So you got me the guy and helped me realize what I wanted. And I’m so sorry for how badly I treated you Y/n.”  

“I’m thrilled for you,” I mumbled. Or I would be, if she weren’t stealing all my dreams. Her smile faltered.  

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you happy for me? Do you want me to kiss your toes or something?” Toe kissing wasn’t going to cut it.  

“No, it’s fine.” They both frowned at me.  

“Are you still mad?” Jennie asked. “I meant it when I said I was sorry. Since when do you hold a grudge?” I shook my head as we approached the field for our last JV practice before tryouts happened tomorrow.  

“No, it’s other stuff.” 

“Like Jungkook?” Sana asked. I shot her a look.  

“What do you know about Jungkook? Did he say something to you?”

“No but I noticed you guys weren’t practicing this week. What’s up?” Coach Merrill blew her whistle for us to do a warm up lap around the field and we fell in together in the back. Jennie bumped me with her shoulder.  

“So? What’s going on?” I pressed my lips together and shook my head.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I actually did want to talk about it, but I was still too mad about their betrayal to tell them. I mean, yeah, she apologized but it wasn’t enough. I was still mad, so I sped up and left them behind and I could hear them whispering behind me. 

I didn’t care.  

After a few seconds they caught up with me again. 

“So, we’re going to stay and practice with you tonight,” Jennie announced. I snorted.  

“It’s Thursday night. Pop’s night. You never stay late on Thursdays, especially now that you have a boyfriend.” 

“We’re staying,” Jennie said firmly. “I’ve been hanging out with Coach Merrill and eavesdropping and I know it’s between you and Kathleen for the second spot. I know what her weakness is and I know what yours is.  I can help you fix it tonight.” 

I was completely unable to stop the hope from flaring in my chest. “Oh, come on.” She grabbed my arm and tugged me to a stop so I was facing her. “I’ll stay here all night if that’s what it takes to help you make varsity. I owe you.” I inspected her, she looked serious.  

“You’re the number one spot?” 

“Yeah, but if you don’t make it, I’ll drop out so you can have my spot.” She put her hand over her heart. “I swear on the watery grave of my dead goldfish Herman that I’ll drop out if I make it and you come in third.” That got my attention. To invoke Herman was way serious.  

“But I thought you just said that you realized you wanted varsity?”  

“I do but I owe you. I’ll walk away if I need to. Herman Swear.” I stared at her, my throat getting tight. I could tell that Jennie was totally serious about how much she wanted varsity, and she was willing to Herman. Swear her spot over to me if it came down to that. I nodded my acceptance of her apology.  

“Thanks.”  

“So, am I forgiven?” I nodded.  

“Only because of the Herman Swear.” Sana gave a small whoop of joy and threw her arms around both of us. “I’m going to miss you guys so much when you both make varsity!” I hugged them both back, and Jennie did too.  

“You guys are the best,” I said. “Even if I did hate you earlier in the week.”  

“Ditto,” Jennie laughed. Coach Merrill blew her whistle.  

“Girls! Aren’t you supposed to be running?” We giggled and started running again, hopelessly behind the rest of the team. And for the first time since Saturday I felt better. But I still couldn’t keep myself from checking out Jungkook’s field after practice to see if he was there.  

He wasn’t. “Our” field was empty. All week I’d thought that he was still there, practicing, hoping I’d show up. 

But he wasn’t.  

I’d cut him off and he’d let me. It was now officially over between us. Even as friends, it was no more and I felt like my heart was going to break. 

We practiced until almost eleven o’clock Thursday night. My mom came and brought us dinner and then hung out while we practiced. By the time I went to bed I was so unbearably tired that I almost didn’t lie awake thinking about the tryouts, or Jungkook or Jennie and Taehyung and everything else.  

And then it was Friday, the morning of the day of the tryouts. 

And then it was Friday afternoon when it was time for tryouts. I walked out onto the field, fl anked by Jennie and Sana, my nerves in knots. 

The JV girls practice was going to be combined with the varsity girls practice, but Sana and her group were going to be separate. Jennie and I were going to be matched with a varsity girl. I scanned the fields as we approached.  

Taehyung and Jimin were sitting in the bleachers and they gave us a thumbs up. But no Jungkook. I searched again, fighting against the disappointment. I’d been so certain he would come. This is what we’d been working for together. How could he not be here to support me? But he wasn’t there. He simply wasn’t there. 

“Who are you looking for?” Jennie asked.  

“No one.”  

“Duh, she’s looking for Jungkook,” Sana said. “What’s up with you guys? You still haven’t told us anything.” I shook my head and steeled myself against the wave of misery.  

“Today is about soccer.” No way was I going to screw up tryouts because I was bumming about Jungkook.“The varsity coach is here.” Coach Young stood next to Coach Merrill, with a clipboard in her hand. Suddenly I felt nauseated. I stopped where I was.  

“I can’t do this.” 

“Yes, you can.” Jennie grabbed my arm and started dragging me toward the bench, but I twisted out of her reach, my hands shaking. 

“No, I can’t. What if I screw up?” I set my hands on my thighs and bent over, trying to catch my breath from my chest, which had suddenly gotten tight. I’d worked so hard for it, and now it was here.  

“I screwed up so badly at the last practice with them. This is my last chance.”  

“So, if you fail, you’ll be on JV with me and we’ll have fun,” Sana said. “What’s so bad about that?” 

“It’s just . . .” I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. They didn’t understand. No one would understand how important this was. I felt a hand on my back, then someone leaned next to me. My heart leaped, and my eyes popped open.  

“Jungkook?”  But it was my mom. She squatted next to me and patted my shoulder.  

“You’ll be great. You’re good enough. You don’t even have to play your best and you’ll make it.” I stared at her, the tension in my body beginning to ease.  

“What if I can’t play?” She smiled.  

“You’ll be fine.” She held out her cell phone. “Someone wants to talk to you.” I grabbed the phone.  

“Jungkook?”  

“Hey, Y/n,” my dad said. “How you doing?”  

“Dad?” I frowned. “Why are you calling me?”  

“Because I couldn’t make it there, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you. You’ll do great.” I kicked a tuft of grass and took a deep breath. He was right. I could be great.  

“I can do this.” 

“You bet you can. How about dinner Sunday night?” I lifted my head.  

“Really? Dinner with you and me?”  

“Yep. To celebrate making varsity.” I grinned.  

“Okay.” Coach Merrill blew her whistle. “I gotta go. Bye.” I hung up and handed the phone back to my mom, feeling better already. Jennie slung her arm over my shoulder.  

“Okay, Y/n, here’s the thing. Last time you screwed up because you were trying too hard. All you need to do is focus, like you do in practice. Think about the ball and the game, not about varsity or anything like that.” She tapped her head. “Your problem is that you’re too intense out there. I’m better because I relax and go with the flow and let myself succeed instead of forcing it.” I eyed her, rolling her advice over in my mind. It made sense.  

“Thanks.” 

“Let’s go kick some butt, okay?” She gave me a smile that was all attitude. Her expression fired me up.  

“You got it.” We strode up to the group of varsity girls, and when Coach Young assigned me to pair up with the same varsity chick as last time, the one who had dominated me, Jennie leaned over and whispered  

“You’re as good as she is. Believe it, and go with your instincts.” I thought of how much I’d practiced with Jungkook and the late night drilling session with the girls last night and I knew it was true. I did believe it. 

Two and a half hours later, I was sweaty, exhausted and fired up beyond belief. Lisa, my varsity opponent, had dusted me a few times, but I’d beat her too. It was so unbelievably awesome to be up against such good players and once I took Jennie’s advice and stopped worrying about it, I’d just let myself go and I had a fantastic time. 

Coach Young whistled us in and I flopped next to my best friend on the grass. She was drenched in sweat as well and even had a grass stain on her shoulder.  

“How’d it go?” I asked. She beamed at me.  

“Awesome.” Sana sat next to us, still looking almost as fresh as she had when we’d walked out onto the field.  

“Well, practice was totally boring without you two there,” she announced. 

“If you both make varsity I think I’m going to try out for the musical and bag sports. Soccer’s really boring if you actually just play soccer, you know?” Jennie and I grinned at each other and I realized that for the first time in forever, someone besides Jungkook actually got me too. Coach Young blew her whistle.  

“First of all, I want to say thank you to the JV team for practicing with us today. It’s always great to see the up-and-coming talent.” The varsity girls politely clapped for us and Jennie, Sanna and I cheered loudly. 

“So as you all know, we have two open spots on varsity this year. I would like to welcome the following girls to the team: Jennie Kim.”  

My gut tightened as Jennie screamed and jumped to her feet and the crowd burst out in cheers. I was happy for her I really was, but I wanted it so badly as well. 

“And the second player is . . .” She paused to confer with Coach Merrill and I saw her eyes go to me. I sat up, my heart starting to race. It was me, they’d picked me. Coach Young looked up from her notes. “The second player is Kathleen Hoffman.”  

Kathleen shrieked and the place cheered, and I stared numbly at the grass as my insides shriveled up. I hadn’t made it. Sana touched my arm, but I couldn’t look at her. Then Jennie sat back down and leaned toward me. 

“Herman Swear, Y/n. My spot is yours.” But I shook my head and looked at her.  

“I don’t want your spot. You earned it. Getting a spot that way, it would be like cheating.” She frowned.  

“You’re sure?” I nodded, and saw the relief in her eyes and I knew then that she really would have given up her spot but I couldn’t take it. Not that way. 

A varsity girl grabbed Jennie’s arm and congratulated her and I clenched my fists. All I wanted to do was leave. One of the coaches blew the whistle again over the screams of all the girls. It took three more tries before people quieted down enough to hear what Coach Young was saying. I stared at the ground and wished this was over, barely listening to the yammering of the coach who was not going to be my coach.  

“Due to the talent of the JV squad, we decided to add a third roster spot. Y/n, welcome to varsity.” What? I jerked my head up as Sana shrieked next to me. Jennie yelled and tackled me in a huge hug that knocked me onto my back. I grunted as I fell over, disbelief making me numb.  

“We both made it,” Jennie shouted. “You did it!” 

“Oh, my God!” Sana dove on top of us, hugging us both. “I’m going to miss you guys so much! You’re so awesome!” Twisting to the side so I could see past Jennie’s embrace I looked up at Coach Merrill and she gave me the thumbs up. That’s when it sank in. 

I’d made varsity. 

I jumped to my feet, screaming. “I made it! I made it!” My friends screamed back and hugged me, and we all yelled and danced. And then my mom came over and we all hugged her, then we called my dad and I could tell he was happy. Then I realized Jungkook had been so right about him ---- 

Jungkook. 

After I hung up with my dad, I held the phone in my hand. My mom was talking to Coach Young to find out the hours of practice, and when games were. I watched Jennie get a hug from Tahyung and I envied Sana as she and Jimin bent their heads together in deep conversation. 

Jungkook might not have come today and I might not be talking to him, but he was part of the reason I’d made the team, he deserved to know. I was pretty sure he’d be psyched, so I dialed his number from memory hoping he would answer the phone, at the same time I hoped he wouldn’t.  

He didn’t. 

It went to voice mail. I smiled at the sound of his voice. He still made me feel good. “Jungkook, this is Y/n. I just wanted to let you know . . .” 

“Y/n!” Jennie was suddenly next to me. “We’re going to Pop’s to celebrate. You’re coming, right?” I braced against my instinct to refuse, and I nodded.  

“Of course I am. Wouldn’t miss it.” 

“Cool.” She kissed my cheek then ran back to Taehyung, Sana and Jimin.   

“So, anyway, Jungkook,” I continued, “tryouts are over and I made varsity.” I felt a smile break over my face. “Did you hear me? I made it!” I shouted the last bit still too excited to contain myself. “It was partly because of our practices, so thank you so much for all of your help. I really appreciate it. So yeah, just wanted to let you know this! Bye!”  

Shutting the phone and giving it to my mom I ran after my friends into the gym. Who cared if Jungkook had blown me off? I’d proved I could do it on my own and I wasn’t going to let him ruin my celebration. I didn’t need him. I was a varsity soccer player now! 

“Here’s to Jennie and Y/n- varsity soccer players.” Sana raised her root beer. “Yay!”  

We all toasted by tapping our red plastic cups against one another’s. I grinned at my friends, not even caring that I was there with two couples. I’d made varsity! Soccer was what mattered. Not guys! Not dating. And certainly not Jungkook. 

Taehyung had his arm over Jennie’s shoulder and even though Jimin and Sana weren’t near to that stage, they were sitting on the same side of the booth almost touching shoulders, so they were on their way. The cashier announced our number for our pizza. Tae jumped up.  

“My treat tonight. I’ll get it.”  

“I’ll help.” Jimin slid out of the booth and the guys headed up to the counter for our meal. They weren’t dating me but if they wanted to buy my celebratory dinner I wasn’t going to stop them. I grinned at the girls. 

“This is the greatest night. I never thought I had a chance, not after that horrible practice with varsity a couple of weeks ago.” Jennie cocked her head.  

“Last night when we were drilling, I couldn’t believe how much better you’d gotten. That practice time with Jungkook really helped, huh?” I shrugged and suddenly felt deflated.  

“Sure.” She studied me.  

“What happened with him, anyway? All of a sudden it’s like he’s disappeared off the planet. Sana moved her drink out of the way so she could move closer to me.  

“Yeah. What happened?” I fiddled with my napkin, shredding it into little pieces. 

“He’s a dork.” I shrugged. “I decided to blow him off. No biggie.” Sana cocked her head.  

“Why is he a dork?”  

“Because he thinks he can kiss me whenever he wants and have it not mean anything.” Two sets of eyebrows went up and their jaws dropped.  

“He kissed you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“On the lips? ” Jennie asked, her eyes glittering. “Was it nice?” 

“Yeah, on the lips.” I felt my cheeks get hot. “ Gosh it was really nice.” 

“So, what’s the problem?” Jennie sounded shocked. “Why did you blow him off? You like him, he kisses you and it’s great and you 

ditch him? Why?” I realized my napkin was fully shredded, so I pulled the dispenser toward me and tugged another one free and started working on that one.  

“He did it to show me that we were just friends, and—” Jennie shook her head.  

“No, no, you have got to start from the beginning.” I looked into the faces of my friends, realized how much I’d missed having them to talk to, and suddenly the whole story spilled out. The whole thing. When I finished they were both smirking. I scowled at them.  

“What’s so funny? He blew me away with the best kiss in the world and then ruined it by saying it meant nothing. How is that funny?” I saw Taehyung and Jimin finish paying for the pizzas and start to head back to the table. “Never mind. We’ll talk about it later.” Jennie chuckled.  

“It’s funny because you and Jungkook are both such idiots.” 

“Me? How am I an idiot?” The boys arrived with the pizza and I leaned back in my seat and gave Sana and Jennie the “I don’t want to talk about it in front of them” look. Jennie nodded, then looked up at Taehyung as he slid in next to her.  

“So if a guy kissed a girl on the lips, like a really good kiss, would you believe him if he said he did it to prove he didn’t like her?” 

“Jennie!” I kicked her under the table, missed, and slammed my toe into the leg, sending pain shooting up my foot. Taehyung snorted. 

“No way. If he claimed that’s why he kissed her, he’s lying. It’s just an excuse to cover up the real reason he kissed her.” 

“Jennie I swear I will kill you if you don’t shut up.” Taehyung looked at me as he tugged a slice of pizza free. 

“Why? Did Jungkook feed you that line after he kissed you or something?” I balled up the napkin and hurled it at him. He didn’t even flinch when it bounced off his forehead.  

“Shut up,” I growled. He grinned and Jennie gave me a smug look. 

“He kissed you because he wanted to, then had to make up a reason afterward,” She said.  

“No way.” I gave up trying to get them to abandon the conversation. “Afterward, I hinted that I liked the kiss and he totally panicked! If he liked me, he wouldn’t have panicked when he thought I liked him.” 

“Not necessarily,” Jimin said. We all looked at him in surprise. I didn’t realize the guy actually spoke in public. He shrugged.  

“He might have panicked because he liked you.” Sana nodded. 

“Totally! I mean, you both were totally anti dating, right? Then you start to like him and you panic. And he starts to like you but figures it’s okay because you don’t like him, then he realizes you like him and he isn’t prepared for that. So he panics and makes up that stupid line about kissing you to prove he doesn’t like you.” 

“That makes no sense.” I resumed my napkin shredding with even more force. 

“Guys make no sense,” Jennie agreed. She beamed at her boyfriend. “Even you.” He grinned back.  

“Girls make even less sense.” 

“No way. It’s all boys.” I rolled my eyes as the table descended into a totally annoying and cute argument between couples about which gender made less sense. I grabbed a paper plate and pulled two slices of Meat Lover’s Deluxe onto my plate, letting it wash thoughts of Jungkook out of my head. He was history and I was moving on. 

I picked up my pizza and blew on the end to cool it off before I took a bite, almost chuckling when I thought of how I’d spilled pizza onto Jungkook’s shoe. I tested the cheese with my finger to make sure it wasn’t going to burn the roof of my mouth off, then took a bite.A b oot landed with a thunk in front of me, right on the edge of the table. 

“Need this?” I looked up to see Jungkook standing there, his foot up on the table, grinning at me. I was vaguely aware of the rest of the table falling silent. I swallowed my bite.  

“No, I’m good. I learned my lesson.”  

“You sure?” After a second, I took a pepperoni off my slice and set it on his toe.  

“Thanks. I was looking for a place to stash that.” He grinned, took the pepperoni, and popped it in his mouth.  

“So, I got your message. Congratulations on varsity. That’s awesome.” I couldn’t help but smile.  

“Thanks. I was totally psyched.” He nodded.  

“I knew you could do it.”  

“Yeah, well, I had my doubts, but it worked out.” I shrugged, suddenly not quite sure what to say. “So, um, how have you been?”  

His gaze flicked to the rest of the table, all of whom were listening intently, then back to me. “Okay. You?” I refused to think about how cute he looked in his oversize plaid shirt hanging out of his jeans, with the cuffs rolled up, or how much I missed being with him, so I put on a big, fake grin.  

“I just made varsity, so I’m awesome.” 

“Right.” He sort of shifted his weight and shoved his hands in his pockets, moving his gaze to the gang again.  

“So, um, it looks like you’re busy, so I’ll just hit the road.” He hesitated and looked right at me. What? What was that look for?  

“Okay, thanks for stopping by.” He nodded a greeting at the rest of the table, then started to turn away, then turned back.  

“Congratulations again, Y/n. I’m really psyched for you.” Then, before I could answer, he turned around and walked out. The door had just shut behind him when Jennie whacked me on the side of the head with my stack of napkins. 

“Idiot! Why are you still sitting here?” I batted the napkins away. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Jungkook!” She whacked me again. “He came here tonight looking for you and you totally let him go!” 

“Hey!” I ducked as the napkin assault came back for a third try. “How would he know I was here? I’m sure he just ran into me.” 

“Weren’t you on the phone with him when I came up and told you we were going to Pop’s?” Jennie didn’t wait for my answer. She kicked me under the table. “He’s getting away! Go after him!” 

“So he can reject me again?” I jerked my throbbing shin out of her reach, then sat back and folded my arms. “Forget it.”  

“Reject you? He came here for you,” Sana said. She looked at Taehyung. “Didn’t he?” 

“Looks that way to me,” he answered. “But you didn’t invite him to hang with us and you said you were excellent even though he wasn’t around. If I were him, I’d take off too.” 

“But . . .” 

Sana grabbed the napkins from Jennie and whacked me on the head. “Go after him idiot!”  

“But . . .” Jimin nodded. “I think they’re right. If I liked a girl, and if she gave me your attitude I’d leave too.” Sana smiled at him.  

“I would never have given you the reaction Y/n gave Jungkook.” He grinned back.  

“That’s why I’m sitting here.” I stared at them, the two shyest people on the planet. 

They’d actually, somehow, figured out that they liked each other. Were they right? Should I go? Was there some subliminal boy/girl dating language that had just totally gone over my head? They all turned and looked at me, then shouted in unison, “Go!” 

“I’m going!” My heart suddenly racing, I slipped out of the booth, sprinted across the restaurant, ducking around kids and flew out into the street.  

No Jungkook.  

I looked both ways, looked down the street. 

Still no Jungkook. 

Shit! I’d missed him!  

Then I thought of him, and I knew where he was. Biting my lip in nervous anticipation, I started walking down the street toward the ice cream shop, then I broke into a jog, and by the time I reached it, I was in a dead sprint. I skidded to a stop out front. The place was packed with people, and our bench was taken by a mom and her three kids. 

He had to be here. I knew he had to be. 

I hauled open the door, then jumped back in surprise as Jungkook nearly fell into me, a massive chocolate dipped waffle cone in his hand. 

“Jungkook!” I jumped back as the ice cream flew out of his cone and onto my shirt. The top scoop landed with a thud and I caught it in my palm as it slid down my shirt. I lifted my hand up, chocolate ice cream dripping from between my fingers.  

“How did you know I wanted a bite? You’re so nice.” I took a slurpy mouthful, and was rewarded with a half smile from him. He held out his cone without a word, and I dumped the ice cream back into it, then started licking the ice cream off my hand. He tossed me a napkin.  

“Aren’t you missing out on your celebration?” He started walking down the street. My friends were right, he was miffed that I hadn’t invited him to join us. 

“Yeah, but . . .” Could I really do this? Could I really tell him I liked him?

“But what?” He didn’t look at me but I heard the expectant tone in his voice, so I said it.  

“I just thought it would be appropriate to celebrate with you since you helped me get there.” He slanted a glance at me.  

“Really?”  

“Really.” I took a deep breath, then chickened out. I just couldn’t take that look on his face again, the one where he acted like I had rabies or something. We walked in silence for a few minutes, and I realized we were heading in the direction of my house. He handed me his cone without a word, and I took a bite. “Thanks.” He nodded. And still we said nothing. So . . . what now? He stopped suddenly and turned toward me.

“Did you like it when I kissed you?” I blinked.  

“Um . . .” What was the right answer? What was he looking for? He scowled and spun away.  

“Never mind,” he muttered. “Forget I asked.”   

“No!” I ran after him, grabbed his arm and made him stop. “Yes, I liked it. I liked it a lot, that’s why I couldn’t take hanging out with you, because that’s all I could think about whenever I saw you, but you weren’t thinking about it at all and I felt so awkward and—”  

“Wrong.” I frowned.  

“What?”  

“You’re wrong.” He was looking at me intently, his eyes dark and intense in the shadows from the streetlight. “I was thinking about it. All the time.” Suddenly, I had trouble swallowing.  

“You were?” He nodded.  

“See, the thing is, I liked it too.” I felt like someone had just dropped a brick on my head.  

“You . . . did?”  

“Took me a while to figure it out, though. What I thought, what you thought.” He held out his cone.   

“Here.”  Ice cream? I didn’t want ice cream right now! But I took it when he practically shoved it in my hand. Then I forgot about the ice cream when he put his hands on either side of my face and leaned toward me, his gaze intent on mine. His hands were warm, and he gently rubbed his thumbs against my cheeks, like he was waiting to see if I was going to tell him to back off.  

When I didn’t, he got this little smile on his face, and then he bent down and kissed me and it was even better than before. Softer, slower, and perfect, making little chills rush down my arms. He tasted like chocolate, like warm, melted chocolate. He broke the kiss and pulled back slightly.  

“So, that was a test.” I blinked, trying to remember my name and how to breathe.  

“What?”  

“I had to see if my theory still stood. You know, that a guy and a girl can kiss on the lips and still be just friends.”  

“What?” I stepped back, clutching his ice cream. “We’re back to that again? Are you kidding?” He took my hand before I could get out of reach.  

“And my conclusion is that maybe other people can kiss and have it mean nothing, but we can’t.” I stopped trying to get away.  

“What are you saying?” I had to know for sure. 

“I’m saying . . .” He tugged gently on my hand and I let him pull me closer. “I’m saying that I like you. Like, like you. For real”  

“Are you sure? I mean, you kinda freaked that day on the soccer field.” 

“Well, the thing is I missed you this week. I’d gotten used to hanging out with you and when I couldn’t anymore . . . it bummed me out.” He tugged on my ponytail and this time it didn’t make me think that we were only friends. It made me think that I liked him, and I liked being with him.  

“So?” I grinned at him, my happiness nearly bubbling out of my head.

“So what?”He groaned. “Cut me some slack here, Y/n. I’m not exactly used to telling girls I like them, you know? Are you in or not?” I laughed, unable to keep it inside any longer.  

“Jungkook, you’re a total idiot if you can’t figure out that I like you too.” 

“Really?” He got this huge smile on his face. 

“Swear.” He slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me against him, tossing the ice cream cone over his shoulder. It landed with a splat on the sidewalk. 

“So does that mean I have a varsity girlfriend?” I giggled like a total girl and linked my hands behind his neck.  

“Yeah, I guess it does.” 

“Sweet, because I wouldn’t have it any other way” Then he bent his head, and I stood up on my tiptoes and we met in the middle. 

And it was perfect. 

Thank you for reading this far and for all your love <3 you guys are the best!

[polgarawolf1]

Right. So this is one of the (too many to go into here) reasons why I actively dislike Brotherhood, because honestly, ex-weapons dealer ex-smuggler Dex really should be too canny/too knowledgable about the rest of the galaxy to fall for Palpatine's propaganda shill and the whole thing with Satine not knowing what's actually going on in the rest of the 'verse during the war just . . . doesn't hold up for me, at least not in the long run, given the people we know she knows and talks to (starting with Padmé, who is personally familiar with entirely too many of the atrocities actually being carried out by the Separatists and doubtlessly hears about an awful lot of the rest of them from Anakin and Ahsoka. Of course, this is also why the whole storyline with Mina Bonteri in SW: TCW shreds my poor little heart, because, you know, ditto. You cannot convince me that the reason why Dooku ends up killing Mina isn't because Padmé outright told her about several of those atrocities and Mina believed her enough to start to look into gathering evidence to present to the Separatist Senate so that Dooku would be removed from his position of power over them. The show makes it seem like it's because Mina's trying to push for peaceful talks as a means to end the war, but I truly and deeply believe it's at least as much because Dooku can sense that Mina no longer trusts him and he knows that Padmé probably spilled the beans about a lot of the sheer awfulness going on that's being actively kept from the majority of the Separatist Senators and their people).

FYI, this is also why I vacillate a lot on Satine's stance during the Clone Wars. On the one hand, yes, she's obviously the only one who gets that the game (the war) is rigged and, thus, that the only proper response is to refuse to engage (i.e., to not to play). On the other hand, we all know that she has to know (if only because of her non-Mandalorian friends, like Padmé and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka and . . . well, the list just goes on) that Mandalore isn't by a long shot the only system or people suffering and that the Separatists are amassing a list of war crimes longer than the spaces between the stars and that neutrality in the face is evil is NOT neutrality (or at least it's not just neutrality). It's complicity. It's tacit approval. It's a complete and utter failure of morality, of caring enough to do something, even if it's just to take a firm stance, one side or the other. It's bloody well choosing the side of the oppressor. And it's not just our own history that has taught us this: the history of the GFFA teaches us this, too, over and over and over again, which means she has no real excuse, at least not once she's learned more about what the war is truly like. The fact that she's right about the war being a rigged game does not save her from being a moral coward about refusing to involve herself and her people with the atrocities being committed during the Clone Wars.

So. I like Satine - or I like the idea of her, anyway. A society cannot survive on war and warriors alone. Logically speaking, there must also be doctors to patch the warriors up and farmers to keep them fed and weavers to keep them clothed and cobblers to keep them shod and merchants to help get necessites to those who need them and craftsmen to make people's homes and different craftsment to make the ships and different different craftsmen to make weapons and and and and - but I can't see her as a truly moral figure to look up to. In a way, Satine is portrayed as just as much as an extremist (if in the completely opposite direction) as Death Watch, and fanaticism (of any flavor) is just not an attractive look, folks. Plus, every time I think about her being the leader of the Council of Neutral Systems I get metaphoric hives, because it reminds me so much of the United States refusing again and again to openly get involved in two very massive and vitally important European wars until there was literally no other choice (especially that second one, and we still managed to frak things up by not addressing the whole Soviet/Stalin issue when we had the chance to do so and could've saved so many people in Eastern Europe so many years of agony and suffering and death). I like her, but she both exhausts me and disappoints me massively.

(There's also a massive missed opportunity for storytelling here, in rgards to what a strong Mandalore and the Jedi Order could have accomplished by working together, in opposition to both the war and the corruption of the Republic Senate, and it absolutely kills me. But that's a totally different lament for a completely different rant/post.)

FYI, Satine's an awful lot like Padmé Amidala for me, because these two otherwise strong and wonderful female characters ultimately both exhaust and disappoint me in regards to the (lack of) morality of their biggest decisions, even though Padmé's failure is selfishness (even though she clearly knows better) and Satine's failure amounts to a sort of moral cowardice that makes me want to grind my teeth.

Absolutely fascinating that Dex is the one to say that Satine’s push for neutrality isn’t going to help things.  The scene isn’t without sympathy for Satine, as well as it mostly elides the point of ignoring what the Separatists are already doing so you don’t really get a deep conversation about it, but Dex has been treated as a voice of wisdom in this book and, so far, it seems to be saying that neutrality in the face of evil isn’t going to help anyone. Obi-Wan’s defense of her is that, well, Mandalore is different because its entire history is based on warfare, it would undo all her hard work, but it ignores Dex’s point here–she’s not just speaking for Mandalore, she’s pushing other systems into neutrality. And we all remember what Nute Gunray (a leader of the Separatists) did on Naboo, they’re going to do the same.  That is what neutrality means to not fight back against. The scene doesn’t really go hard one way or the other, it even introduces that characters are often biased in what they say (Obi-Wan’s feelings for Satine mean he isn’t always as clear-headed as he should be), it’s a scene that just sort of is, it’s two characters expressing their points of view in a friendly discussion, but it really struck me that Dex blatantly said that her push for neutrality isn’t going to help things. (Personally, I think Satine’s point of view is really, really empathizable for someone whose life’s work is to drag Mandalore away from war, that they’re still so wounded from the centuries and centuries of war, that they probably couldn’t be dragged into this war and I can believe that she feels other systems shouldn’t be joining in because then, what happened to Mandalore, might happen to them, too.  She is intimately aware of the cost of war and has said “no more”, even if I disagree with her, because those innocent lives were still on the line, those planets were still being bombarded with bio-chemical weapons to kill them all, they were still being kidnapped and enslaved, as evil as war is, neutrality isn’t the answer when it’s destroying people.)

[averagemoxxiestan]

Omg- pls write something more about Josh x alien/e.t.!reader

Like imagine your just a cute green alien gremlin girl who landed on earth and is like-

“I WANT THAT ONE” >:D

“😨”

I honestly love aliens! One of my favorite mythological creatures ‼️

Reader is seen as having no gender or gender neutral until said otherwise

You were pretty popular from the start. Your spaceship crashed in the street in the middle of the night and the loud noise woke a lot of people up, except for Josh.

Josh soon woke up when the sun rose and then he saw you in the corner of his room, staring, which freaked him out and he tried to cover himself with his blanket but could still feel your gaze on him

He went to his mom and told her about you but she didn’t believe him at first, that was until you appeared right next to her and said hello in your alien language (she almost passed out.)

They help you try to blend in and try to make it seem like you’re a foreigner but it’s kind of hard when you keep getting curious about stuff and wander off easily

You have a tail, like animals, it matches how you’re feeling and your emotions. (You are happy almost all the time.)

Josh told his friends about you on accident due to him being sleep deprived since he was trying to get you to sleep (you have a very irregular sleep schedule) they thought he was joking or delirious until they went over to his house one day and saw you eating out of the fridge

They think you’re really cool 😼

You watch tv 24/7 because Josh wants you to try and learn the English language and you don’t mind because you get to watch colorful characters be silly on the screen

Bill and Pete definitely teach you how to say the most out of pocket shit. Like, imagine Bill dragging you to his friends and Bill is like ‘E.T.!Reader has something to say’ with the most smug evil look on his face and then you just say a slur

Bill is the type to manipulate you since you have no idea how humans work

Josh likes that you try to calm him down whenever he’s angry, you just wrap you cool temp body around his and coo at him in your alien language

Gum is your favorite snack

You have telekinesis. Josh found out when he was trying to look for something and you noticed him struggling to crouch down and get back up again, so you lifted all the furniture with your powers

You killed someone once but it was on accident! they were a bully and Josh taught you that bullies aren’t good people and should be punished, so you broke into the bullies house and melted their face off

(The form you are in is to appease to the human eye, your actual form will make them fearful of you.)

Your sweat has a slimy texture to it so whenever someone tries to touch you, all they can feel is something slimy. (Jerry had the unfortunate experience of trying to tap you on the shoulder why you were sweating)

You seem very weak but your are very very strong, you picked Josh up without a struggle and even ran while he was in your arms

Josh’s mom loves you and loves how kind you are, she finds you very helpful

You are fascinated about the human body.

Josh once caught you staring at him while he was sleeping and almost pissed himself

Done!! I hope y’all like this one because I didn’t have many ideas for it 😋

K bye (might post something for Valentine’s Day)

[bluetortoist]

Back to my Gods AU cuz I've been missing it too! I wanted to finally doodle out Jonathan and Kathy.

Goddess!Kathy's symbol was a little bit tricky to figure out her symbol, but I think I did pretty good at conveying that her symbol is that of death and matters of necromancy and the beings of the underworld. The three faced-skull has multiple eyes and horns depicting the undead and underworld monsters. The sigil on the forehead is a simplified one for "creation" in this world.

Kathy is supposed to be a True Neutral goddess since matters of death and the beings on both sides are indiscriminant and keep the balance, BUT Kathy tipped the scales a bit and leaned more Neutral Evil where she will still do her duty as the guide of departed souls, but half of the time, uses her gifts for her own fulfillment and talent in necromancy (for that reason, she was imprisoned on the mortal plane for a while by the other higher, older gods until Jonathan found and awakened her).

Champion!Jonathan's I was excited about. He mainly fights with a scythe that has been blessed by Kathy's power. When he calls upon her for assistance, his power-up can temporarily summon the undead or underworld monsters about 20-30 varying monsters/undead) that she summons from her mouth.

Other than strength and agility, Kathy can also bestow on Johnathan the ability to disappear into to mist and and be, to an extent, "unkillable"; Meaning if he got sliced open or decapitated per say, as long as he wears at least some puece of her blessed armor, he can place himself back together. It would still leave scars though.

He mostly rides horseback. The claws on his gauntlet are also laced with his powerful drug that he created himself that makes people hallucinate fear. A good way to cause confusion and hysteria to give him time for various things. Before, he was excommunicated from his study in alchemy and advanced spells for malpractice. 💀

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Cute Privilege™ : allowed to get away with war crimes because the cosmic horrors find you adorable & cheeky

[cervinae-canine]

Me seeing people on twitter talking about morally grey characters like they're completely irredeemable and makes them abusive rapists as a result even though the bad actions they've done is only comparable to a Wile E. Coyote cartoon skit but gorier:

[caitlynmeow]

Bela and Cassandra Dimitrescu enjoying some time alone before the Christmas party starts.

[nostalgia-tblr]

are YOU writing a post about an unspecified blorbo, intended to apply to whoever the reader wants it to? is it very relatable in how attached you are to him or about his adorable stupidity, etc?

STOP!

have you considered utilising the pronouns used in english to indicate a person of unknown gender? calling the unspecifed blorbo 'they' will make your post applicable to even more blorbos and will show that you are open to the idea that not all pathetic little meow meows are male!

[astrrorat]

imagine getting turned into a hamter

[persephones-domain]

Neutrality amidst the throes of injustice invariably serves as a cloak for the perpetrators of oppression, affording them impunity and unbridled freedom to perpetuate their egregious acts unopposed. By abstaining from active resistance and failing to unequivocally denounce injustice, society inadvertently furnishes oppressors with an unchecked path to propagate their malevolent agendas. Thus, when confronted with the specter of injustice, it becomes not merely a moral imperative, but an ethical obligation of the highest order to intercede and thwart its insidious advance.

Drawing upon the profound insights elucidated in Hannah Arendt's seminal treatise, "The Banality of Evil," one discerns a cogent explication of this pivotal concept. Arendt's incisive analysis pierces through the veneer of banality to expose the sinister underpinnings of evil, revealing how ordinary individuals, through their complicity or apathy, can become unwitting accomplices in the perpetuation of systemic injustices. In this vein, her work impels us to transcend the inertia of passive observance and embrace the mantle of active resistance as guardians of societal conscience.

Indeed, the gravity of moral responsibility beckons all parties who are witness to atrocities to confront injustice with unwavering resolve, for to acquiesce to its insidious march is to abdicate our collective humanity and consign future generations to the annals of moral bankruptcy.

[rebellum]

The weird thing about people who hate the word "transandrophobia" is that so many of them seem to think power is just like.. someone something HAS and is enacted on another. Like a dodgeball or something. That's not how power works, it's a system.

In the middle of the woods, a black trans man and a white cishet man have the same amount of social power. They're just 2 dudes.

But in SOCIETY, the white cis het man is part of a number of in-groups, and that membership gives him power. He has the power with other white people to exclude black people from spaces. He has the power to say "this black man attacked me" and to be believed. He has the power to decide with other cis people that a trans man shouldn't have access to medical care. The power to band with other cis men and argue that the black trans man isn't a real man. If he attacks and sexually assaults the black trans man, to teach him a lesson about where he belongs, other white people, other cis people, other cis men will all band together and say "of course you did the right thing. We got eachother into this places of power (police, jury, judge) and we can see, since you are a member of our group, that you did the right thing, and are not at fault."

Trans people don't have that in-group power of gender. A trans man does not, CAN NOT, engage in the systemic oppression of trans women on the basis of gender. Trans mascs are NOT part of the in-group. They are not prioritized for certain jobs, are not valued more, are not seen as being more truthful. Trans men can't get together and decide to deny a trans women the right to medical care, or to safety from discrimination. While there can be lateral aggression, eg. a trans man being transmisogynistic, he can't DO anything with power he does not have.

When people talk about transandrophobia, they are talking about how they are treated as a group of specifically trans and masculine and trans-masculine people. No one is saying that trans fems are behind systemic transandrophobia.

Arguing that trans men should just shut up about their oppression, and saying that they oppress trans fems, is WRONG. It is inaccurate, and harmful because it is silencing an oppressed group who are trying to raise awareness and to discuss the oppression they face. This whole idea that people (of all genders!) have that trans mascs are using the word transandrophobia as a weapon to harm trans fems is harmful and not based on facts. If you believe in that, you are not helping trans fems, you are just harming trans mascs.

[cutielatias]

[duskfallsfang]

don't mind me I just wanna show off some of Scra'el's greatest hits since i finished his playthrough a while ago and i miss him 👉👈

he's a half-drow archfey warlock. I have a whole backstory made-up and ready. And I'm a little obsessed with him still...