#like yeah lets get these guys in situations

[hannieehaee]

Please i just want to read a smut about having a rough sex with hoshi because he's jealous when he heard his gf got confessed by her male friend. 👉👈 (It would be nice if he won't stop even if you cry in pain, saying that it's a punishment) (Just skip this if you're uncomfortable..)

18+ / mdi

content: jealous!soonyoung, smut, established relationship, he acts a little toxic but not that much, rough sex but completely consensual, afab reader, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 1807

a/n: thank u for the request!!

masterlist

"babe, can i borrow your phone? i left mine in my gym bag and i'm too lazy to go get it," soonyoung mumbled as he laid down on your lap, hair being played with and thoroughly comfortable.

"yeah, here," you handed it to him without much thought.

neither of you had a tendency to go through each other's phones, but you had exchanged passwords and were very casual about picking up the other's phones whenever you felt like it. there was too much trust between you to really overthink these things. which wad why you had no issue giving him your phone while he didn't have his own at hand.

soonyoung laid there for a while, perusing instagram and other social medias while you read an ebook, holding it with one hand while playing with his hair with the other. you didn't pay much mind to him while you entertained yourself with your story, and the same could be said about him.

the calm silence accompanied by some show playing in the background was interrupted mere minutes later by a characteristically loud gasp from soonyoung.

"babe, who the hell is this loser?", he asked, rushing to sit up beside you and showing you your phone.

"hm? who?" you barely looked up from your book as he pressed to your side.

"some loser. cooper," he huffed.

on screen was a conversation he'd seemingly pulled up, with the name 'cooper coworker' displayed at the top. it took a few seconds for it to dawn on you what you were looking at.

"oh. that's just my coworker. why? what'd he say?", you didn't care too much about the conversation, but you were slightly curious as to why soonyoung had pulled it up. it wasn't really like him to check your messages.

"the notification just popped up so i went on it, sorry," he was sheepish about it before fully handing you the phone, letting you take a look at the conversation in question, "but, uh, what does he mean by this?"

there were a few prior messages to the newer ones, which were all from different time stamps and very tame in nature, usually just being shift trades or confirmations about work projects. the final few were the ones soonyoung had accidentally intercepted before you could check.

from: cooper coworker

hey can we talk about what happened the other day?

the first one was tame enough, suddenly reminding you of what'd happened a few weeks back, but the poor boy practically vibrating next to you made you opt to keep reading before clarifying the situation to him.

from: cooper coworker

i just wanted to see if you'd reconsider. i'd really like to take you out

i felt like you were just dismissing me with the whole boyfriend thing. i asked belinda and she said she's never seen you with any guy

anyways my offer for dinner's still up if you wanna

it amused you for the most part. the original interaction had been so tame and forgettable you'd completely disregarded the whole thing as soon as it happened.

cooper wasnt someone you saw on a daily basis, so his name hadnt registered when soonyoung had told you who the message was from. when he came up to you to ask if you'd like to have dinner, you were slightly surprised, not entirely sure of who he was. the easiest thing to say in response was that you had a boyfriend and werent interested (which was very much the truth). he had simply nodded in response and mostly taken it like a champ.

you wish you could say that his insistence surprised you, but it was a classic guy move. to act nonchalant at rejection only to come back ten times as insistent as before.

the situation made you wanna roll your eyes and just block him, but you guessed that maybe soonyoung would want an explanation sometime soon before his entire body combusted. the sight was cute, at least.

you sighed, "it's just some guy from work who asked me out, soonie. nothing too important."

that wasn't enough for him.

he whined, nudging your knee as he put the phone down, "what does he mean by 'the whole boyfriend thing'? what, do you work with this loser? who does he think he is? i'm your lockscreen, what the fuck is wrong with him? should i go talk to him? i'll do it, babe, just-"

"soonyoung! it's fine. i'll block him if it makes you feel better. i never talk to him anyways. everyone else at work knows i have a boyfriend. it's just some stupid guy. no threat whatsoever," you reassured him.

that seemed to calm him down momentarily. his breath evened and his rambling halted. he remained quiet for a few seconds before speaking up again.

"that's not good enough."

"what?"

suddenly he got up, grabbing your phone in one hand and your arm with the other and leading you out of the living room. within moments you were in your room, being pushed towards your bed and losing your balance and falling onto it.

"soonyoung, what the fuck-"

throwing your phone onto the bed, he approached you, telling you to keep facing forward as he pushed you further onto the bed. undoing his sweats as he approached you. his tone had been cold and entirely void of emotion, causing your brain to go numb and follow along with his instruction. you'd been too distracted by the removal of your own sweats to hear his following instruction, causing him to harshly pull you against him to get your attention before repeating himself.

"w-what?"

"i said, text him. tell him you're not interested and block him."

that was easy enough.

you reached over to the phone he'd thrown onto the bed and opened it back up, searching for the conversation in order to draft up a message.

but before you were even able to start, a huge distraction entered you.

immediately upon penetrating you, soonyoung went at it like crazy. it was like he had zero concern for anything other than fucking his entire essence into you.

you screamed out at the sudden intrusion and continued to gasp and mewl at the consequent thrusts into your hole. your hands shook as you gripped onto the phone, elbows hurting from putting your weight on them in order to hold onto the phone.

but soonyoung didnt care. no, on the contrary, any time you'd scream out his name, he'd go even harder, fingers surely bruising your hips due to how harshly he held onto you.

"i don't see you texting him, baby," he huffed in between thrusts, "need me to dictate it to you? brain too cockdrunk to think?"

he was mocking you, but he was right. you were usually nicely moist for him, but the moment he threw you onto the bed, it was like your mind was taken over by a docile and horny version of yourself, making you lose any ability to think for yourself by every passing moment.

unable to respond properly, you nodded, moving to try and type whatever he'd tell you to type.

"tell him to never contact you again, or else your boyfriend might get mad, okay, baby? tell him, fuck, tell him you already have the perfect guy taking care of you every night," he groaned in between thrusts, huffing and puffing at how tight you'd get for him.

you typed up the message to the best of your ability, surely getting a ton of typos in the process but not caring enough to correct them. this guy was nothing compared to soonyoung, especially not in this moment. the message in itself was slightly embarrassing to share with some random coworker, but your brain wasn't working properly at the moment.

hitting send, you thought that'd be the end of it. that now you'd be able to enjoy soonyoung's cock in peace. except that bastard replied immediately, and soonyoung managed to catch it from behind you.

suddenly, he started hammering even harder into you, genuine anger filling his veins at the response you'd received.

from: cooper coworker

lol that sounds kinda toxic. u deserve better than that guy

"'toxic'? did he just call me toxic?," he gaped between gasped breaths, "block him," he demanded, "block that fucking dumbass, i- fuck, i'm gonna-"

that's when he started going as hard as humanly possible, still letting out expletives against the coworker you'd forgotten about the moment you'd gone back home that day to your soonyoung. it hurt, but it hurt so good. it was the most pleasurable pain you'd ever felt. surely it'd lead to traces of pain after the fact, but it all felt worth it as soonyoung hammered into you with all strength available in his body.

"h-hurts, soonie, it's too much ..." you managed to sigh out, arms giving out under you and head pressing onto the mattress.

the comforter under you quickly became damp with a mixture if tears and drool, but you were too brain dead to process it.

"no, baby, this ... this, fucking shit, is to show you that you're mine. that no idiot guy can even think of, shit, fuck, of looking your way," he practically growled.

his labored breath accompanied by his broken sentences told you all you needed to know. you were about to be filled up by his load and there was nothing you wanted more. you'd never been claimed by someone in such a way and the euphoria that came with it was addictive.

with more curses and filthy expletives, soonyoung filled you up. his warmth inside you led to your own orgasm, making you completely fall onto the bed the moment he pulled out and took away his hold on you.

you didn't have any time to whine at the loss before he reappeared and began hastily cleaning you up, laying you on your back so he could kiss your cheek as he wiped at the drool and tears drying on your face.

when you opened your eyes, you found a completely different image of the soonyoung who had just defiled you to hell and back. staring back at you wad a hamster-faced cutie with some sort of worry in his eyes. his smile was sheepish and his movements way softer than usual. you couldn't left a giggle leaving your lips, which in turn caused him to relax and chuckle back.

"uh, sorry about that. just- uh, i got mad, i think ... at him! not at you! you're perfect," he rambled on in usual soonyoung fashion.

he was the cutest thing ever.

"it's okay, soonie. i'm not mad. feel free to do that again any time you want," you sat up to give him a kiss, earning a happy hum from him.

"oh, ah, yes. noted."

[latenightreadingpdf]

Knock on the Door - Spencer Reid

₊‧⁺˖⋆ Masterlist ⋆˖⁺‧₊

Summary: In the midst of an intense investigation, Spencer and Derek bring you into protective custody after a disturbing discovery links you to their case. As you navigate the unexpected situation, Spencer’s calm presence offers reassurance, sparking an unexpected connection amid the chaos.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The quiet street was a far cry from the usual high-stakes BAU scene, but the tension in the air made Spencer’s skin prickle with unease. He glanced at Derek, who was already preparing to knock on another door, exuding his usual calm confidence.

"This one could be a lead," Derek muttered, showing a slight glint of hope in his eyes as he raised his hand to knock. The case had been dragging on, and frustration was growing with each unanswered question.

When the door opened, Spencer noted the faint hint of confusion in your expression. Derek immediately flashed his badge, his tone respectful but firm. "Ma’am, I'm Agent Derek Morgan. This is my colleague, Dr. Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI."

Your eyes darted between the two of them, registering the serious expressions they wore. "The FBI? What's going on?"

"Have you had any strangers come to your door recently trying to sell you something?"

A flicker of recognition passed over your face, and Spencer leaned in, catching the shift. "Actually, yes,” you said, brows furrowing. “A guy came by yesterday… He gave me his card.”

Spencer and Derek shared a look. "Do you still have that card?" Spencer asked, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice.

"Yeah, I think so. Let me grab it." You turned back into the house, leaving the door partially open, and returned a moment later with a card in hand. As Derek took it from you, he confirmed with a nod that it matched the cards left at the other crime scenes.

You looked between them, anxiety creeping into your voice. "What is going on? Who is this guy?"

Spencer’s voice softened, his gaze meeting yours directly. "We believe he's a dangerous criminal who may be responsible for several recent homicides. His method involves gaining entry to homes under false pretenses."

Your face paled as the weight of his words sank in. Derek placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "We need to take you back to the station to make sure you’re safe. There are some steps we’d like to take to ensure you’re protected while we gather more information."

"Safe? Is he going to try and kill me?"

Derek’s expression turned serious. "We have reason to believe he might try to come back, and it’s important we get ahead of him."

A sense of dread settled over you as you let their words sink in. You followed them to the car, feeling your stomach twist with a mix of fear and disbelief. As you settled into the backseat, Spencer turned to give you a reassuring nod.

“Just so you know,” he began, his tone gentle, “we’ll have officers posted near your home to ensure he doesn’t have the chance to get in. We’re taking every precaution.”

“Thanks,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just… a lot.”

“Understandable,” Spencer said, glancing at you with a sympathetic look. “We’ll also have you meet with a sketch artist and undergo a cognitive interview. It’s standard procedure, and it might help us learn more about him.”

You looked out the window, processing the reality of the situation. The quiet chatter between Derek and Spencer drifted over you as they discussed possible motives, patterns, and theories. But for now, you were too lost in your own thoughts to make out their words.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When you arrived at the station, Spencer took a moment to walk you through the cognitive interview process. "It’s designed to help you remember specific details," he explained, his voice calm and assuring. "It might feel intense, but I’ll be with you the whole time."

You nodded, glancing around the bustling police station, feeling a strange mix of curiosity and adrenaline. "Okay, so… I just answer questions, and you’ll be able to get a clearer picture of this guy?"

Spencer gave you a small smile. "Pretty much. Think of it as helping us paint a portrait. Every detail, no matter how small, could be useful."

The interview went smoothly; Spencer’s presence was patient and encouraging, never making you feel pressured to remember something you couldn’t. Afterward, he led you to a small break room, offering you a seat at a worn table with a coffee machine humming nearby.

A few minutes later, Spencer returned with two steaming cups, handing one to you. "Here," he said, "it's not gourmet, but it’ll keep us awake."

You took it gratefully, feeling a sense of normalcy settle in. "Thanks, Spencer." You sipped the coffee, savoring the warmth. "I didn’t expect to spend my afternoon in an FBI station, but… it’s definitely more interesting than my usual routine."

Spencer chuckled, seeming surprised by your laid-back attitude. "Most people aren’t as calm in situations like this."

You shrugged, feeling the weight of the situation but refusing to let it get the best of you. "I don’t know. I figure, if I’m in good hands, there’s no point in freaking out."

As you chatted, Spencer filled you in on some of the behavioral profiling techniques they used, giving you a peek into the mind of the BAU. His eyes lit up as he explained the ways they’d been analyzing the unsub’s behavior to find any possible patterns, and you found yourself genuinely interested, asking questions and absorbing his answers.

"Do you ever wonder why people do these things?" you asked thoughtfully, watching him as he considered your question.

"All the time," Spencer replied, his voice softening as he looked down at his coffee. "But there’s rarely a straightforward answer. The best we can do is study the behaviors and try to make sense of them. Hopefully, it helps us stop them."

A sense of respect grew in you as he spoke, and you found yourself admiring the dedication he had for his work. "That sounds exhausting. Important, but exhausting."

"It can be," he admitted, his gaze meeting yours. "But it’s worth it, especially when it means keeping someone safe. Like now."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his sincerity. "Well, I guess I’m lucky you guys were around."

The door to the break room opened, and Derek poked his head in, giving Spencer a grin. "You two doing all right in here?"

Spencer nodded, standing up to update Derek on the details you’d given during the interview. As they talked, you finished your coffee, feeling a strange sense of calm despite the unusual circumstances.

When Derek turned his attention to you, his gaze softened. "We’re going to have a team set up around your house tonight, keeping a close eye on things. We’ll catch this guy if he shows up."

You nodded, feeling reassured. "Thanks, Agent Morgan. I know you guys are handling it, so I’ll let you do your thing."

Spencer glanced back at you with a small smile. "If you need anything, or have more questions, just let me know."

As they walked you to the main desk, Spencer looked back, his gaze soft. "We'll keep you safe," he assured you once more, his sincerity unmistakable. "Until then, try not to worry. We’re on it."

A small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded. "I trust you," you replied, giving them one last grateful look before they escorted you to a waiting area. And as you waited, you felt a sense of calm, knowing you weren’t facing this alone.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

"So where were you when this happened?" Yuria asked curiously. Akane blinks, "Well…I was hiding, to be honest. I heard the commotion from the stage and the chaos was spreading like wildfire. People were trying to get out and I was helping a few people get out before looking for Kazuma and Meko. The animatronics were going rouge like they were going crazy. So I got lost and decided to hide down here when it's safe."

"It sounds like you were in the middle of it before going to try finding the other two. I Hope their alright." Nobara said that Ashley sighed to nod.

"Yeah, same here. Though, given the situation it was wild. Seeing the parents freaking out, kids crying, it was just a giant mess. Even with that stupid glitch going on..that made things worse." she keeps walking but stops looking to see two hallways. She looks to the wall seeing a dirty sign as she reaches to wipe it off.

It shows two signs:

Left: Backroom safehouse (Do not enter)

Right: Elevator

"...." Looking at the two, she goes to turn to the right leading the way. "Though, right now, we should be able to get back to the top from here. I know your friends are worried about you guys." she said.

"With all this happening yeah...though at least Angriuius left us alone." Hana sighed.

"That might be true but you should never lower your guard. Even if you think the other hunting you is off your backs, you shouldn't lower that guard. They will come back twice as hard to find their target. Just a hint of advice." she said seeing Hana understanding.

"Anyway, lets keep going. If we get to the elevator we should be out of this area soon." she said walking past some doors but most of them were pretty dark with some having lights flickering.

"Lets just hurry and try to find it. The sooner we find it the quicker we can get back to meet up with everyone." Megumi keeps running but he was following the map in hopes to get there. However, he did wonder if the other three were okay or in a safe spot.

~~~~~~~

"not much longer." Akane sighed still walking. "Though, this route is pretty long but it will get us to where we need to go." she said leading the way but Hana and Nobora was following her. At least her ankle was healed thanks to Hana but she was still holding Jub jub in her arms with the bunny Lucky on her head.

"Do you think we will find our friends? They must be around somewhere." Hana said. She was worried hoping they are alright.

"Don't worry. I'm sure they are safe..where ever they are." Nobara sighed but still keeps walking. "I guess when we get to a safe spot we can try contacting them."

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

3. brown eyes at the entrance

contains: goofy drunk hamzah, quick mention of sex but no actual nsfw content in this one

summary: what do you do when your ex shows up at your front doorstep?

a/n: short but i just wanted to post hi

last part: with you all night

you left hamzah’s apartment that morning feeling more confused than ever. you two ate breakfast together and then you were out the door. he hadn’t even asked to hangout again or talked about breaking the whole “no contact” thing. he simply said he enjoyed the night with you and told you to have a good day.

how could he spend such an intimate night with you and not ask to see you again?

as hard as it was, you tried to be nonchalant about the situation. you could hook up with your ex in a casual way, right?

you call mandy, practically begging her to meet you for coffee.

now you were at your local cafe, anxiously walking up to the table you spotted mandy at.

“y/n! hey!” she said excitedly. you can almost see her eyes analyzing your facial expressions as you walk up to her. “so what’s up? you look like you’ve got something to tell me.”

“oh, it’s definitely..something.” you laugh nervously, “i uh, ended up talking to hamzah last night…”

“oh that’s great!” she interrupts, “did you get any sort of closure?”

“yeah, about that…i actually ended up going back to his place..”

she sighs at your confession.

“and we had sex but listen! i know that it was probably a bad idea but being around him again- it like made my brain go all fuzzy and all common sense went out the window.” you ramble, trying to defend yourself.

“y/n, i told you to go out on the balcony to get closure, not to hookup with him!”, she shakes her head at you. “but i get it. you guys have history, you’re comfortable with him. it’s easy to go back in that situation.”

“exactly! it was so comfortable! it felt like how things used to be. so now, i’m all confused because i thought i had finally gotten over him. and there’s matthew…”

“the guy you said was boring?” she questions.

“he is a bit boring but he’s nice- stable.”

“but what are you gonna do now? keep seeing him?”

“ugh, i don’t know. i guess i should end things with him- because clearly i have not moved on from hamzah yet.”

she nods slowly, deep in thought. “you think you’ll get back with hamzah again?”

“i don’t know,” you let out a harsh breath. “sometimes i think that maybe if we tried again, things would be different. like we’d be able to figure it out this time.”

she smiles softly.

“but today, he didn’t ask to meet again or ask how he could contact me or anything so i don’t even know if he wants to try again.” you shrug your shoulders.

“honestly, y/n, you might want to figure that out before cutting things off with matthew.”

she was right. you didn’t want to ruin a good thing simply for the possibility of getting back with your ex.

after another thirty minutes of catching up over coffee, she reminds you to keep her updated before the two of you part ways.

as you start driving home, your phone rings.

*incoming call: matthew*

“hey babe, you never texted me when you got home?” he questioned, his voice concerned.

you let out a soft sigh, “yeah, sorry- i went to sleep right when i got home.”

“you feeling better today?”

“yeah, yeah i think i just had a migraine or something.”

“good! i was actually wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight?” his voice is hopeful.

he was kind and cute and he knew what he wanted. how could you say no?

“sure! were you gonna pick me up on the way or should i meet you somewhere?” you ask, a soft smile creeping on your face.

“i’ll pick you up at six. oh- and wear something fancy! i wanna take you to a nice place.”

you agree and say your goodbyes. you were excited to get dressed up and be taken out. you hoped that this dinner would change things- show you how interesting and exciting matthew really is, helping you move on from the chaos of hamzah.

…

the restaurant matthew had chosen was beautiful. the warm candlelight and low jazz music playing in the background creating such a romantic atmosphere.

he sat across from you, retelling a story about a hike he had went on.

you could tell he was making an effort. telling you this story with you in an attempt to share something meaningful with you. feel closer to you.

but as he kept talking, your mind kept slipping into memories with hamzah. you thought of how beautiful his face looked when illuminated by candlelight. the way his smile had always been on the edge of a smirk.

hamzah knew exactly how to pull you into each of his stories. he entertained you effortlessly. just one of his jokes could leave you clutching your stomach in laughter.

“and then i was there, completely lost.” he chuckles slightly as he ends his story.

“oh my god, that must’ve been so scary.” you reply, doing your best to give him energy.

he smiled softly as he looked into your eyes. “that’s what i’ve always loved about hiking though- you never know what adventure’s around the corner.”

“yeah.” you respond, smiling sweetly while all you can think about is how hamzah would’ve made fun of that corny line.

“you okay? you seem distracted.” matthew said, watching you as he took a bite of his steak.

“oh! yeah i’m fine, i just had a long day.” you explain, telling yet another lie.

“i get it.” he smiles, “no worries.”

god, did he have to be so kind and patient? it’d make you feel much less guilty if he was a complete asshole.

no, he was everything you should want. he was sweet, understanding, and so open with you.

but there was no allure. no mystery. no edge. all of the surface-level conversation you two were having was driving you absolutely insane.

“well, i actually had something to ask you.” he broke the silence.

you look up at him, nervously waiting for him to continue.

“i’m going on a trip to seattle next week. it’s completely covered by my job and i have a plus one. i know it’s a bit last minute but i wanted to know if you’d like to join me?”

traveling together would change this “casual dating thing”, into something more serious. something you were definitely not ready for. not yet.

you clear your throat to speak, “can i uh- think about it? it sounds super fun, i just have a lot of school work and stuff…”

he nods. “yeah, just let me know whenever you decide.”

“thank you.” you smile.

after finishing dinner, he drives you back home. he thanks you for the night, explaining what a great time he had with you.

he walks you to the front of your apartment complex and presses a gentle peck to your lips before telling you goodnight.

as you ride the elevator up to your apartment, you decide that you have to end things with matthew. you couldn’t go on that trip with him and lead him on any more than you already have. it was unfair of you to be constantly comparing him to hamzah. the truth was that there nothing wrong with him at all- you were the only person to blame in this situation.

you look up as you start walking toward your apartment to see hamzah leaned up against the wall next to your front door. his head tilted back, eyes closed- simply waiting.

“hamzah? what are you doing here?” you say, your voice coated in shock.

his eyes are low. a goofy smile plastered on his face. he was either drunk or high, or both.

“you look pretty.” you can practically hear his smirk.

you stand directly in front of him. “are you drunk?” you ask as you cross your arms in front of your chest.

“a little bit”, he laughs. “and maybe a little bit high but listen- i just wanted to see you.”

“oh and this couldn’t wait until you were, i don’t know, less…drunk?”

he shrugged, “but you were out with ‘new guy’, what’s his name?”

“matthew.” you roll your eyes at him. “how’d you know i was out with him anyway?”

“mandy might’ve mentioned that you texted her about it.” he grins, “i think watching paint dry might be more exciting than going on a date with that guy. i couldn’t let you go home and just be with that kind of…energy.”

you bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “hamzah, you can’t just show up at my door every time you think i should be around better “energy.”

“oh i can”, he shoots back at you. “it’s actually one of my best skills- showing up uninvited and reminding you of how fun i am.”

“you’re unbelievable.” you laugh, already feeling defeated by his charm.

“and yet”, he pauses. “here you are, laughing. i’ve still got it.” a cocky grin creeps on his face. you can’t help but laugh.

“you’re so full of yourself.” you shake you head, smiling.

“i just feel confident around you, that’s all.”

“oh really?” you tilt your head to the side.

“c’mon, y/n. tell me the truth- was he as funny as me?”

“no.” you admit, rolling your eyes.

“as charming?” he pushes.

“also, no.” you answer.

“then what are we doing here?” he lifts his hands up dramatically. “why are you spending your night with boring ol’ matthew when you could’ve had all this?” he gestures to himself, that goofy smile of his still lingering on his face.

“hamzah. you are being ridiculous.” you reiterate.

“did you mean ridiculous-ly hot and sexy or?” he can’t help but laugh at his own joke.

you shake your head and roll your eyes once again, still unable to contain the smile that seemed stuck on your face.

“you are impossible to argue with.” you tell him.

“is that a yes to me coming in?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes. “please? i’ll just sleep on the couch or even, the floor. whatever you want me to do.”

“you came here to sleep on my couch?”

“i just want to be around you.” he whined.

how could you say no to those brown puppy-dog eyes of his? and you couldn’t send him home drunk- that wasn’t safe. you just had to let him in.

“fine. get inside before i change my mind.” you tease as you unlock your front door.

the second you two get inside, he walks over to the couch, flopping onto it and stretching out with a smug look on his face. “see? look how harmless i am?”

“mhm, very harmless.” you say as you grab a blanket.

you start tucking him in with the fluffy blanket until he grabs your hand, looking into your eyes. “thank you for letting me in.”

“yeah, well you’re just lucky i’m too tired to kick you out.” you joke.

“yeah, lucky.” he repeats, his voice soft as his thumb rubs your hand softly.

just from the way his gentle touch and low voice had such an effect on you, you knew you were in trouble all over again.

a/n: next part soon. promise. also i did not proofread bc it’s 2 am and im tiredddd also writing this kinda reminded me of the song memories by conan gray so that is where the title for this part is from yay here’s the song if u wanna listen

[frudoo]

Husband Kyle has my heart

Warnings: Baby is sick (teething). Heavy topics: postpartum depression, allusions to self-harm/suicidal ideation (but none actually). Smut at the end—cunnilingus. Tagging as DDDNE although it’s not a dark!fic. Fem!Reader.

MDNI

Baby boy has not stopped screaming since he woke up at the crack of dawn this morning. The fever and runny nose are making him miserable, and you’re positive he’s trying to cut a tooth with how much he’s been gnawing on your fingers. Kyle, bless him, has been called away to the base since early yesterday, leaving you to care for the unwell infant in your arms all alone. It’s uncertain when he’ll return home. Usually, the work of being a stay-at-home-mom doesn’t bother you, but today just feels overwhelming.

Postpartum hasn’t been the best experience for you and without the usual support from your husband, it feels like your world is caving in and you and the baby you’re supposed to feel an abundance of empathy for are buried beneath the rubble. It makes you feel terrible, because you do love your baby, but every piercing little screech that leaves his tiny throat makes you want to rip your ears out. Setting him down only makes him fussier but your arms are exhausted and your head is pounding.

Defeatedly and with much guilt, you carefully set the fragile boy into his bassinet and shut the door to your bedroom. You turn on the baby monitor but lower the volume so you can make sure he’s alright without having to hear the shrieks. As you sit on the couch, the weight of your stress finally gets to you in the form of an ache in your chest and an abundance of tears bursting from your waterline. Burying your head in your hands, you can’t stop the sobs that escape you. In your grief you don’t hear the front door open or Kyle step inside.

“Fuck, dove, wha’ ‘appened?” Your husband is frantic, tossing aside his duffel bag and rushing to kneel where you sit on the couch.

The sound of his voice startles you, making you jump. Kyle steadies you with two strong hands on your waist, keeping you sat and encouraging you to explain the situation.

“I-I didn’t know what else to do,” you weep, and he cups your face with shaking palms.

“Baby, baby, talk t’me. Wha’s goin’ on?” You know your husband, and you know he’s thinking the absolute worst—it’s evident by the tremble in his voice and the way he yanks up your sleeves to check for injury.

“Did y’take summat? Dove, y’gotta tell me if y’did, now.”

You shake your head vigorously, trying to calm his nerves. It does little to help.

“N-no! The baby, Ky, he hates me!” You wail, grabbing the monitor and shoving it into Kyle’s hand. “I’ve tried- tried everything! Teething gel, Tylenol, d-decongestant salve… he just won’t calm down and I-I know it’s because I-I’m a- I’m a bad mom.”

Kyle’s heart aches at your words, and he makes sure to keep one of your hands in his as he looks down at the screen. The three-month-old is sleeping peacefully, sucking on his thumb without a care in the world. Your husband smiles a little, turning the monitor over to allow you to see the once screeching babe now at peace in his crib. Your eyebrows furrow and you take the device from his hand, raising the volume. Sure enough, tiny snores sound through the speaker and it makes you gasp slightly.

“H-he’s been…” you trail off, not wanting to seem crazy to the man you love. “I swear, he’s been inconsolable-”

“I believe ya, dove. Little guy was jus’ sleepy, yeah?” Kyle softly interrupts, stroking his thumb over the swell of your cheekbone. “He doesn’t hate ya, swee’heart, and you’re sure as hell no’ a bad mum.”

Your husband stands from the floor, carefully helping you off the couch so you stand as well. He nuzzles his nose against yours sweetly but lets you make the first move, chapped lips meeting full, pillowy ones. He allows you to take the lead, never going too far or holding back too much—just giving you the exact amount of comfort you need from him for as long as you desire. He massages your shoulders when you pull away from the kiss with a wet click, rich molasses eyes boring into yours.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, but Kyle shakes his head, swiping your bottom lip with his thumb.

“None o’tha’. Bein’ a mum is ‘ard work and you’re doin’ a bloody brilliant job. M’jus’ sorry I can’t be ‘ere with ya f’all of it.” Kyle whispers, wiping away the fresh tears that spill down your cheeks. “I love y’so much. I don’t tell ya tha’ enough.”

“You do,” you assure him, leaning in for another tender kiss. “I love you, too, Ky.”

“I’m so proud o’ya, dove.”

A kiss…

“My strong, beautiful wife.”

And another.

“Fuckin’ hell of a woman.”

Kyle’s fingertips dance along the sides of your neck, dimpling the flesh just enough to make you gasp.

“Gonna le’ me show ya ‘ow much I appreciate ya?”

Wandering hands move down to grope your full breasts over the milk-stained jumper you wear. You can feel their warmth even through the fabric layer separating skin from skin, and it makes you shudder. His eyes scan your face for any signs of discomfort and you realize you never answered him. Nodding, your fingers tangle into the hem of his shirt, still smelling like heavy machinery and day-old sweat—to you, it smells like heaven. Kyle chuckles, the pads of his thumbs rubbing circles over your pebbled nipples.

“Back on the couch, dove,” he instructs with a grunt, walking you backwards until the insides of your knees hit the cushion.

Instantly he’s on his knees once more, taking his time to push up your sweatshirt and tug off your panties, biting his lip at the sight of your cunt already glistening. Your husband leans in to take a whiff before pressing a long kiss to your labia. His stubble is dewy with your arousal when he pulls back to look up at you.

“Poor thing, so stressed. M’gonna help y’relax, swee’heart.”

Dexterous thumbs spread you open for his enjoyment. At the first lick from your entrance to your throbbing clit the two of you moan in sync. Your fingernails scratch at his scalp as Kyle wraps his lips around your sensitive nub, suckling softly, but the feeling sends electric sparks shooting throughout your body. His hands travel to your thighs and hoist them over his shoulders so that he’s entirely surrounded by you.

“S’fuckin’ sweet,” his voice rumbles against your pussy, the vibrations damn near making you wail.

His hot tongue dips into your clenching hole, gathering your slick to swallow down like honey. You’re already right on the precipice, grinding your hips against his pretty face, and it only encourages him to quicken his ministrations. Kyle drags his slippery tongue back up to your clit, giving it tight circles as he sucks it into his mouth once again. Chocolate eyes stare up at you in a silent plea to give him his fill, let him take you over the edge.

Your thighs tremble uncontrollably, violently, when you cum, heady rasps of pleasure leaving you as you squeeze your eyes shut. He works you through your high, licking and humming and savoring every little tremor that rocks through you. He only stops once your body goes limp, pressing a plethora of kisses along your spent seam as he gently removes your thighs from his shoulders. Kyle stands and carefully guides you to lay on the couch, your head resting on a pillow as he covers you with the blanket that was draped along the back of the furniture.

As if right on cue, the colicky infant starts to cry as soon as you get comfortable. Your heart races as you move to stand, but your husband stops you with a palm on your chest.

“No, dove, y’need ta get some sleep. Stay righ’ ‘ere, and I’ll take care o’the little guy,” Kyle leaves no room for argument, leaning down to press a prolonged kiss to your forehead. “I love ya.”

“I love you, Kyle.”

Sleep comes easy.

[3vergr3en]

Kissin' and hope they caught us!

part one | spotify playlist

PAIRING (📖) . loser!collegeau!jake x fem!college!reader

ADDITIONAL INFO (💻) . porn with VERY little to no plot, fluff if you squint, dry humping, p in v, unprotected sex (don't do that pls), soft!dom!jake turns into a slight hard!dom, jake comes inside, they're so in love with each other, it's implied they have another round at the end. (did not proofread this btw 🙊)

Word Count (📃) . 3.2K

Your place was so pretty. Everything about it screams you.

He looks around in awe, admiring the numerous houseplants perched on shelves and your window sill. He remembered you mentioning that you didn't want to spend an extra 10 to 15 grand on a dorm that you would hate. Instead, you saved up years of paychecks to rent an apartment off campus.

It feels so intimate when it's only you two. Alone. What can happen between two people who are alone? Did he mention that you guys were alone? In your apartment. After getting the best head of his life (as if he had others to compare to). Every provocative thought he's ever had about you is prodding at his brain, teasing him and mini him down there.

"You can get yourself situated, I'm gonna go change into something more comfortable." You say shortly before disappearing into your room.

He carefully sits on your couch, hands placed on each knee. He's nervous, okay? He continues to examine your living room, liking the cozy atmosphere the warm string lights bring.

Eyeing the Polaroid pictures hung in a zig-zag pattern on your wall near your TV, he notices a specific picture of you two outside a movie theater. He recalls the fond memory, a small smile appearing on his face. It was a fun night that he needed desperately. Looking back at it now, he realizes that before meeting you— his nights were mainly spent isolated in his dorm or the study room in the library. How sad.

"Okay, let's do this!" You cheer, walking over to where Jake sits, bringing the boy out of his thoughts (which seems to be an occurring habit).

Jake turns his head and takes one look at you to know that he's doomed.

You were in a pink, floral two-piece pajama set. The top barely covered your chest. Fuck. And you were not wearing a bra. He can see your hardened nipples poking through the cotton fabric. And your shorts? God, they did nothing to cover your plump ass. He can see your cheeks peeking out, jiggling with every step.

You knew exactly what he was thinking about. You had him wrapped around your finger the second you got down on your knees (jokes on you though, he was yours the second you laid eyes on him for the first time. He'll never admit that though).

"Alright, where did we leave off?" You hum, plopping down right next to him. You shifted onto your knees, leaning the side of your body against the backrest of your couch.

"I.." He trails off, letting out a shakey breath. He scrunches his nose to lift the frame of his glasses higher. How could he answer this question? Were you talking about the physics you guys went over before you.. y'know? Or were you talking about that?

Cute. You thought.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Anatomy." You emphasized with a smile, tilting your head slightly to the left.

His eyebrows perk up, "O-Oh. Yeah.. anatomy." He clears his throat, stealing a quick glance at your exposed cleavage.

You push your breasts together with your arms as you lean forward, "I'm more of a visual learner by the way." You whisper against the shell of his ear. Yeah, he definitely knows by now.

His hands shift off his knees and onto the cushion beside his thighs when you crawl onto his lap.

He whimpers at the feeling of your clothed cunt sitting atop his growing erection. He closed his eyes momentarily, the sensation already overwhelming him. Someone end him now before he cums in his pants.

You rest your hands on his shoulders, "I've always found you cute, Jakey." You mumble, feeling him twitch underneath you. Oh? Guess you found another weak spot of his. "Always wondered what your lips feel like.." You trail off, taking his lips in yours.

His hesitant hands finally find a spot on your waist, his cold hands against your warm skin make you shiver. His lips move with yours in a messy rhythm. It was sloppy but filled with such need and desperation.

He can't wrap his head around the fact that he managed to get his dick sucked before getting a kiss from you. But it's all real when you grind down on his bulge, earning a painful groan from the boy. You make him so unbelievably hard, it's embarrassing.

You break away from the kiss, biting back the smile that threatened to form when you catch the fog forming in his glasses. Oh, how you want to ruin this man. "I've always wanted to do this with you," You start off, lips trailing down his chin, to his neck, then to his collarbone, "Do you want this as much as I—" You bite down on his bare flesh and he whimpers, "Do?" Jake moans when you start grinding down against him at a slow, agonizing pace, "Fuck— Yes." He hisses through gritted teeth. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your sides, forcing your hips to rut against his even faster.

You raise the back of your hand to your mouth to muffle your sounds. The friction of his bulge rubbing against your aching clit through your shorts had you bucking your hips forwards, "A-Ah, Jaeyun!" You squeak out, hands going to wrap around the boy's wrists. "Mm.. so s-sensitive." He grunts, lips finding a place on your neck. He continued to kiss around, sucking multiple marks on your skin until one particular spot had you moaning out his name. Yeah, he may be inexperienced, but there's a thing called porn. He knows it's not the best source to learn from, but hey, it gets the basics down

You can feel one of his hands inching up your sides, almost as if he was hesitant to do something. You did him a favor by pulling his hand farther up your torso till he's practically groping the side of your breast. "I'm not made out of glass, Jake." You reminded him with a breathless giggle. You soon feel a familiar sensation begin to pool in the pit of your stomach. You hadn't realized just how horny you actually were. Like every touch he left on your skin made you burn for more. If you weren't careful, you might last shorter than you expected

"Jake, I-I think you should slow down." You gasp when you feel him bite down on your neck. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it was enough to know it'd leave a mark for the next few days. You can feel him shaking his head against your neck, almost frantically like he was going to lose something, "Not when I can feel you sh-shaking against me." How does he—?

You arch your chest more into his hands. The same hands you spent hours daydreaming about. The ones that were gently fondling your boob through your shirt, thumb grazing against your perky nipple. "I'm close, Jake."

The times when you curse Jaeyun for being a little too into his studies, especially now when he's taking his time in studying how your body reacts to his touches.

You would make a snarky comment if it weren't for Jake humping against you right now, bringing you extremely close to your high. "Shit. Me too, Y/n." He moans into your neck, hands hooking underneath your arm to grab at your shoulders, bringing your body to be as close to his. The smell of your fruit-scented shampoo floods his senses, spurring him to come undone in his pants with a drawn-out groan.

You were surprised to find yourself liking that more than you thought. It was so hot to see him cum merely by humping you. Some people would find that to be embarrassing, but for you, it only made you yearn for him even more. If it was any other guy— well. Jake wasn't any other guy. With him, he could literally start barking while calling you mommy (projecting yourself much?) and you'd still find him to be the most handsome guy you've ever laid eyes on.

"Fuck! M-My god, yes!" With a few frantic rolls of your hips, you felt the coil within you snapping and a wave of ecstasy washed over you almost immediately, causing you to twitch against the man below you.

You were only given merely a minute to calm down from your high before feeling his hand snake from your chest down your stomach. "Jake?" Your legs clamp around his hand that was currently in your shorts, prying your soaked panties to the side, "Wh.. What are you— oh." He runs his middle finger down between your slicked folds, the tip prodding at your entrance.

Your senses were heightened as your post-orgasm haze still lingered. You didn't know if you should tell him to keep going or not. But in all honesty, why would you want him to stop? If this is the chance to finally have those long, slender fingers you've spent countless hours daydreaming about inside of you, why stop now?

He watches as your face contorts when he slides a finger in. He isn't sure where this new-found confidence came through. Did it come after he had his dick shoved down your throat? Or when he made you cum undone? He's not complaining when he currently has you falling apart on his fingers. "You're so wet.. makes it so easy for me to just slip it in." That must've done something with the way you cried out his name. Or maybe it's when he curled his finger against a certain spot that made you see white.

He easily slips in another, immediately curling it to rip out another cry from you. "Keep moaning like that, baby."

The pet name makes you clench around his fingers, and he couldn't help but grin. "Jake..please."

"Yeah? You want more?" He asks heatedly, curling and uncurling his fingers again, making you shudder against him.

You spread your legs farther apart, nodding as your lip was tugged between your teeth.

Jake slowly pulls his fingers out of you, only to go rub small circles on your puffy clit with his thumb. Having the girl of his dreams turning to putty in his hands? It was an ego boost he thought he'd never needed until now. Plus, it was so fucking hot.

In the meantime, you stripped your top off while Jake tugged down his sweats along with his boxers till his cock sprang free. It stood upright and proud, tip red and leaking. You swallowed hard, worry beginning to poke at you. If it barely could fit in your mouth without forcing it, how was he going to fit in you?

But you have no time to ask questions when you find yourself hovering above his tip, using a free hand to help align it to your entrance.

You both sucked in a sharp breath when you sunk down till only the head was inside. You know it's going to be a really tight fit. His hands curiously cupped both of your breasts, relishing in how soft they were against his hands. "You're sucking me in, holy shit." Jake curses, eyes glued to the sight of his cock disappearing into your cunt inch by inch.

By the time you were halfway, you took a deep breath before sinking fully down in one swift motion till he reached the hilt inside of you.

Jake cursed your name out loud while his hands made their way back onto your waist, only this time was his grip harder than before. You let out a mewl that could only be compared to coming straight out of a porno. Tears swelled up in your eyes, which Jaeyun kissed away when it spilled down your cheeks. The stretch was a perfect blend of pain and pleasure. It hurts since he's the biggest you've ever taken. But it feels so good with the way he's prying your walls apart, stuffing you full. Your imagination could never live up to the real feeling.

What caught you by surprise though was Jake suddenly laying you down on the couch, towering over you while his dick still nuzzled deep within.

His glasses threatening to slip off at any given moment. As much as you would love to watch him fuck you with his adorable little specs on, you can't afford to risk it breaking and then never seeing him in those specs you love so much. You reached up and carefully pulled it off, folding it before placing it on the coffee table next to you guys.

He gives you a warm smile, and you feel your chest churn at the sight. God, this boy seriously has such an effect on you.

"Thank you." His accent is evidently thick, making you unintentionally clench down on him, causing him to groan. "Fuck, don't do that, baby." He mumbles weakly before leaning down to kiss you tenderly, running his tongue over your bottom lip.

You slip your hands underneath his shirt, feeling up his body. You can feel how toned he was against your palms. You pull away with a little smile, “Since when did you have abs?” You help slide it over his head, discarding the shirt somewhere in your living room. “Oh. I uhm, I work out in my spare time.” He explains. And only then do you glance over at his arms, soaking in the sight of his arms naturally flexing to show off his muscular biceps.

How much did you have to beg to have him put you in a chokehold?

"I like you, a lot." Jaeyun suddenly confesses, taking you by surprise.

"Jake. You're currently balls deep inside of me. You think I would let you do this if I hadn't liked you?"

You both stared at each other till you both burst out giggling. Seems that you guys were busy basking in your own perverted thoughts to realize how obvious your feelings appeared to be.

"For a nerd, you sure are stupid."

"For..." He starts, "Yeah, I got nothing." He laughs, combing back a strand of hair away from your pretty little face.

Shortly afterward, he goes to plant open-mouthed kisses along your jawline as his hands roam throughout your naked body, making sure to not leave an inch of your skin untouched.

You slightly grew impatient, resulting in you rolling your hips upwards.

His big hands pin your hips down onto the couch, forcing you to stay put, "Y-You need to stop doing that." He whines.

Before you could get something out, he was quick to pull out halfway only to slam back in. His mushroom tip rammed perfectly into your cervix, ripping out a choked-out sob from you.

His hands grab the back of your knees before pinning them up against your chest. He positions himself up on his knees, allowing himself to set a slow rhythm.

In between each thrust, he'd purposely thrust his pelvis flush against your ass then roll his hips, making you feel exactly how big he is. "Like how I feel buried inside this tight pussy?"

"God, yes." You purred, nails digging into his biceps.

Jake's head hung low, unable to pry his eyes away from seeing your pussy lips wrapped around his dick, your cunt swallowing his entire length with ease. He huffs, beginning to snap his hips back and forth at a fast pace.

Your body jolts with every harsh thrust. And all you could do at that moment was to take everything he gave you with a mantra of his name spilling out from your swollen, reddened lips. "o-oh my god! J-Jaeyun, shit!"

Your eyes were everywhere on him. They were eyeing the layer of sweat on his chest that glistened due to the lights. Then they traveled down between your legs, watching Jake pound into you with such determination. Now, they're staring straight into his puppy-dog-like eyes that were doted in lust.

His hand grasped your jaw, forcing you to look at him so he could watch how you reacted to his relentless thrusts. His thoughts were in disarray, drunk off the sensation of your walls squeezing around him as if you wanted to milk him dry. You felt as if your brain had short-circuited, babbling out incoherent nonsense. "Oh fuck, oh, god, fuck yes! There! Just like that, fucking god!"

You were nearly sobbing at this point. It was almost too much when you felt a fire pooling low in your abdomen. Jake could sense you were near with the way your walls were fluttering around his dick. "Are you close, baby?" He rasps, pressing his forehead against yours.

Your eyes were screwed shut, and the only thing open was your mouth which poured out a series of obscene noises along with a choked 'yes!'.

Jake bought his other hand up to rub fast circles against your clit, bringing you over your tipping point. "'m gonna cum, jae! Fuck— I'm cumming!" Like a spring coiling tightly and then being released, your orgasm crashes down on you. You feel both your body and mind dissolving into pleasure, clamping tightly around Jake's cock as a result.

You forced your eyelids apart in time to see Jake's face contort as his thrusts grew sloppy and erratic. His jaw hung low, tongue nearly poking out the side of his mouth (just like a puppy). "Gon' cum inside you, y/n. I like you so—" With a lewd cry, he nuzzles his face into your neck before fucking his cock deep into your sopping pussy, spurting out ropes and ropes of his hot, sticky cum to coat your inner walls.

His hips stuttered against yours. And you moan because you can feel his cock pulsating inside you, continuing to pump more cum inside you. At this point, you wouldn't be surprised if it began to leak out by now. "stuff you full of my f-fucking cum.. god, this tight pussy's milking me dry."

Although visibly spent from his mind-numbing orgasm, he made sure not to crush you by falling limp beside you.

You both bask in your post-orgasm daze by holding each other closely. His arm was slung around your waist whilst you nuzzled your face against his chest. His heart was palpitating, but he wasn't sure if it was from the earth-shattering sex he just had, or if it was the fact that he currently has you engulfed in his arms... after the most earth-shattering sex you guys just had.

"We should study together more often." Jake says, sending you a wink before reaching over to grab his glasses from the coffee table.

"Or.." You grab his glasses out of his hand, "We could do this more often," You slip on his specs, "—as boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Really?" He questions, eyebrows perking up. You can imagine the dog ears on him perking up as well.

You smile wholeheartedly, "Yes, really."

His hand cups the side of your face before he eagerly captures your lips into a passionate kiss. Your lips molded with his as if it were a perfect fit.

You pull away, letting him nuzzle his face into your neck, "Jake." You call out softly.

"Hm?" He answers.

"Were you planning on pulling out anytime soon?"

He pulls away from your neck to give you a playful smile. "I mean.. I can go for another round."

[white--moon]

That statement comes out of nowhere. "Yeah, I know, but what'd I do that's got you sayin' so?" They were talking about a hypothetical book, one in which Ichigo is teasing about painting fictional him as being pretty pathetic. If anyone has seen him embarrassed and read him well enough to recognize it, it's Ichigo, so he knows Ichigo's telling the truth about having seen him embarrassed. He's not going to argue that, but he narrows his eyes. "Twice in the last hour? That's not even possible. I was drunk and you were sleepin'."

He doesn't even know what to say. They're both sounding like broken records. He knows if it were that easy, it would have already happened. Nothing can ever be simple between them. "But I didn't." He hates this part of the Grimmjow topic. "I had no control over that and you know it, and you still let him believe that. You know I didn't want that to happen." They talked about it. Ichigo truely seemed to understand the situation. But what he wants doesn't seem to mean much these days. He does know that Grimmjow's stubborn as fuck, though and that getting anything other than prickly tough guy exterior isn't easy. "My friends aren't problems." He mutters. He doesn't think he's a very good friend, and he doesn't make friends easily. Most people, he couldn't care less about, let alone call them friends. But he does care about the few people he does call a friend.

He glances over at Ichigo after they're both parked and out of their respective cars. A bell chimes when he pushes the door open. A bored looking employee looks up, then back down at their phone. Shiro gestures Ichigo down a narrow isle between racks of clothing. "Go nuts. You gotta do some digging sometimes, but I guarantee you'll find something you like."

At first it was kind of difficult to imagine Ichigo sitting at a desk, writing into the early hours of the morning, hours he's usually out roaming the streets or working a very different kind of job. But the more they talk about it, the more easily the image comes to him. He never really saw Ichigo bent over his studies when they were together, but he knows that's because he was too much of a distraction. Without himself in the picture, it's a lot easier to imagine.

He scoffs, "I never do anything embarrassing." Very very not true. Ichigo makes himself so punchable sometimes. Shiro struggles not to roll his eyes, and plays along instead. "Oh, don't downplay that. It'll be the most interesting part of the whole story. Who doesn't love a doomed romantic subplot attached to the misunderstood character? Most of the criminal population probably doesn't read anyway."

Ichigo's not wrong, but damn that's kind of harsh. "Yeah but I'd say no to all of them real fuckin' fast to say yes to you instead." He'd drop everything and everyone for Ichigo. Obsessed, like Ichigo's going to write in his book. And he's glad for the confirmation that he's the hottest guy Ichigo knows, but he didn't really want to hear about whatever complicated thing is going on between Grimmjow and Ichigo. Except it shifts gears into something. Shiro blinks, then heaves an exasperated sigh. "I understand he's mad at me, but I'm literally so loaded I don't know what to do with it. All he has to do is say something. Hell he could'a just sent me his rent bill or something." What an asshole. He doubts Grimmjow wants handouts from him, "Or I could find work for him. Doesn't even have to be illegal shit. I have a lot of connections."

That scowl makes Shiro's hackles raise, but the words take most of the fight out of him. He's so twisted up about Ichigo. He sighs. "I do. I do wanna be friends." The problem is that he doesn't know how to be just friends with Ichigo. He's going to settle for it, because it's all he's going to get, but it's going to hurt.

He shrugs. "Not all of it. I move the important stuff. Politicians, celebrities. People who think they're being discrete. Only reason I never moved my own product before was because I didn't trust myself around it often." He offers up a sort of self deprecating smile. "That's not an issue anymore. But it's a lot of product, a lot of money and a lot of networking to trust to someone else, so it works out."

He watches Ichigo check his own vehicle from the driver seat, and starts rolling down the drive when he sees Ichigo climb into the car and start it. He takes them into the city, to a hole in the wall alt fashion shop that has too many items crammed into a too small of a space. It's his favorite place for clothes though.

[rulerofstars]

the unlikely schemer

oneshot: after breaking up with kuroo, you and your cat, kevin, are stuck in an awkward co-parenting arrangement. but with kevin’s matchmaking skills and some help from friends, old feelings start to resurface. will your tangled past and kevin’s scheming bring you back together, or is it too late for second chances?

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x reader

tags: fluff, exes-to-lovers, co-parenting

i. the cat custody misunderstanding

You’re just tying your shoes, running late as usual, when your phone pings. The text is short, so typical Tetsu.

“Is Kevin with you?”

It takes a minute to sink in. You’d just assumed Kevin was at Kuroo’s place today—it was his turn, after all. You hesitate, your thumb hovering over the screen as if you’re about to reply, then think better of it. You know exactly where this is going, so you text Kenma instead. He’s usually somewhere between Kuroo and sanity in situations like this.

“Hey, tell Kuroo to check his laundry basket. Kevin always curls up there.”

Minutes later, Kuroo sends a photo of an empty laundry basket with a sarcastic caption: “Look at this. So Kevin. Very here.”

So, it’s going to be one of those days.

By the time you reach Kenma’s apartment, you’re not surprised to find him gaming quietly in the living room, headphones half-off and tapping away at a console, with Kuroo leaning against the counter, arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow at you, which you promptly ignore, focusing on Kenma, who’s practically part of your support network at this point.

“Kuroo lost Kevin. Apparently, he’s ‘everywhere but nowhere,’” you explain with a mock eyeroll, making quotation marks in the air.

Kenma barely looks up from his game. “Pretty sure I saw Kevin’s cat carrier in your car last time we hung out.”

You freeze, suddenly remembering. In a rush to get back to work yesterday, you’d left the carrier in your back seat. Kuroo notices the realization flicker across your face and lets out a sigh, shaking his head in that trademark half-exasperated, half-amused way that used to drive you crazy.

“So,” he says, voice low and full of dry amusement, “you’re the one texting me about losing the cat when you had him all along?”

You cross your arms defensively. “In my defense, I assumed he was curled up in some basket in your laundry room. It’s his thing, you know?”

Kenma finally looks up, glancing from you to Kuroo. “Maybe you guys should put a tracker on him.”

“Right? It would save us a lot of hassle,” you say with a chuckle, nudging Kuroo’s shoulder. “Or, we could always get two cats. Double the trouble, double the mess for both of us.”

Kuroo smirks, and his gaze lingers a little too long on you before he finally looks away, back to the counter. “Yeah, we’re barely managing one cat. Two? I think I’d lose my mind.” He pauses, then adds with a slight edge to his tone, “Though, at least if I lost him, I’d know it.”

The silence hangs a little too long. You know that Kuroo hasn’t really moved past how things ended between you both, and neither have you. But here’s Kenma, already back on his console, looking pointedly unaffected by the tension in the room, which, of course, is his way of telling you two to work things out—without actually saying it.

“Well,” you sigh, determined to keep things light, “guess it’s settled. I’ll take Kevin today, and you can have him next week. Just—keep him out of your laundry basket.”

Kuroo’s lips twitch, caught between a grin and a frown. “Yeah, maybe you should check your car twice next time.”

A few days after the “Kevin custody confusion,” you find yourself at a small gathering hosted by the Karasuno volleyball team—Hinata’s idea of a “relaxing team bonding” that somehow ended up including you, Kenma, and, inevitably, Kuroo.

The evening is full of the usual chaos. Tanaka and Nishinoya are arguing over whose spike hit harder in the last practice, Yamaguchi’s laughing, and Tsukishima’s making sarcastic quips from the corner, clearly trying (and failing) to look uninterested. Amid the friendly noise, you notice Kuroo leaning against the kitchen counter, idly stirring a drink, his gaze following the playful banter with a faint smile.

You try to ignore the little jolt that hits you. It’s unfair, really, how seeing him in a setting like this—a few stray hairs falling out of place, that casual but slightly competitive air—still makes your heart stutter.

Kuroo catches your eye and smirks, jerking his head toward Hinata and the others. “They’re treating this like the Olympics, you know.”

You roll your eyes, feigning indifference. “Some people just have team spirit, Kuroo. Not everyone’s as calm and broody as you.”

Before he can reply, Hinata bounds over, practically glowing with excitement. “Hey, you two should join our game! It’s totally volleyball-related—sort of. It’s, uh…a spike accuracy contest, but with plastic cups!” He gestures to a pyramid of plastic cups stacked against one wall, courtesy of Nishinoya and his “training ideas.”

Kuroo raises a brow, glancing at you with a teasing glint. “I don’t know, do you think you can handle it?”

“Please. I was beating you in these games back in high school,” you scoff, hoping the heat creeping into your cheeks isn’t obvious. This was supposed to be fun, a way to forget for a few hours. But here you are, trading familiar jabs with Kuroo, half-suspecting he knows exactly how to get under your skin.

“Alright then,” he grins, a competitive spark lighting up in his eyes. “Loser buys the winner’s next cat food haul?”

You can’t help but laugh, rolling your eyes as you square off. “Deal.”

You’re both lining up for a turn when Kenma appears at your side, his voice a low murmur. “You know, you could just talk to each other. Without the middle school competition part.”

You shoot him a playful glare. “Don’t act like you’re not rooting for me.”

He shrugs. “Just saying. Even Kevin’s tired of the back-and-forth.”

Before you can respond, Kuroo lands his “spike,” sending cups tumbling dramatically across the floor. He raises his hands in triumph, throwing you a smug glance. It takes all your self-control not to stick your tongue out.

“Guess that means you owe me,” he says, voice low, as the noise of everyone laughing and cheering fades into the background.

You take your turn, successfully knocking over even more cups, and smirk right back. “Guess again. Your treat.”

The words are casual, but there’s something in the way his gaze lingers, something questioning and almost vulnerable. For a brief second, it’s like you’re back in high school, sharing inside jokes and trading glances that say so much without saying a word. And just as quickly as the moment comes, it’s gone, replaced by the clamor of the team celebrating your win.

Kuroo doesn’t push it; he just steps back, smile dimming a little but still there, an unspoken challenge lingering in his eyes.

ii. kevin’s plan

Kevin, it seemed, had developed a mischievous knack for engineering his own little reunions, and he was subtle, a master of feline subtlety. For starters, he had a way of "escaping" whenever he sensed you were home. One minute you'd find him snuggled up on the windowsill, eyes half-closed, as if he'd happily stay put for hours. But the instant he saw you putting down your bag, Kevin would dart to the door, yowling at the handle in a way that you knew meant, I'm not just done with Tetsuro today. And you knew—this was a game. Kevin wanted out, because that meant one thing: Tetsu needed to come pick him up.

"Hey, Kenma?" You called Kenma up one evening after a particularly trying cat-chase. You could practically hear the amusement through the phone as he listened to your woes.

"So he climbed into Tetsuro's basket…again?" Kenma's quiet laugh was the only real noise on his end, and even though he sympathized, he found the whole thing hilariously on-brand for Kevin. "Are you going to call him again, or…?"

You groaned, resting your head against the cool surface of the window as you watched Kevin curl up and blink at you innocently. "Apparently, I'm not the one with a choice."

Kenma’s voice softened. “Maybe it’s for the best, you know?”

“Kevin meddling is ‘for the best’?” You grumbled, throwing Kevin a look. "He's a cat, Kenma. I swear he’s got a playbook or something."

Kenma laughed, “Well, you could ask Kuroo to stay for dinner next time. He’d probably be less willing to ‘rescue’ Kevin if he got to see you in a normal setting for once.” There was a beat. “I just think he misses you. A lot, actually."

As you listened to him, you thought about what he’d said—about seeing Tetsuro in a setting that didn’t feel so strained or impersonal. You couldn’t deny it sounded…nice. There were moments when the banter softened, moments that reminded you of how easy everything had once felt. It was different now, of course, but maybe Kenma was right.

That weekend, you decided to take a chance.

Kevin, true to his antics, found his way into Tetsuro’s room yet again. But this time, when Tetsuro came over with the usual look of bemusement and mild exasperation, you were ready.

“Dinner’s on the stove if you want to stay," you said, sounding more casual than you felt. "It’d save Kevin from his…habit.”

For a moment, Tetsuro looked stunned, almost as if you’d suggested something outlandish. But then, a familiar, quiet smile broke across his face as he nodded, the unspoken warmth of old memories settling in between you. And for a while, it was like nothing had ever really changed at all.

As Tetsuro took off his jacket and washed his hands, you felt the unspoken tension hang thick in the air. He was careful not to look at you too closely, like he was afraid of pushing something fragile that he hadn’t quite realized he wanted to hold onto again. Kevin, meanwhile, weaved around your ankles, giving you what could only be described as a smug look before he trotted over to Tetsuro, meowing with an air of absolute satisfaction.

“So,” he started, voice light but a little uncertain as he settled at the table. “Kevin’s getting pretty good at this whole escape thing, huh?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, gesturing toward the little troublemaker. “He’s like an escape artist at this point. Or…a schemer.”

Tetsuro smirked, glancing down at Kevin, who was rubbing his face against Tetsuro’s leg with an innocent expression. “He gets it from his favorite co-parent.”

“Oh, so it’s me now? Not you?” you teased, raising an eyebrow as you spooned some soup into his bowl. “You were the one who taught him to open doors, remember?”

“Hey, I taught him how to close them, too,” Tetsuro replied, trying not to laugh. “He just…ignores that part. Selective memory.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, he’s got selective memory alright. Probably picked that up from someone, too.”

Tetsuro’s smile faded a little, and for a second, he looked like he was about to say something serious. But then, with a rueful little shrug, he muttered, “Touché.” His gaze lingered on Kevin, who had now curled up comfortably in the spot right between the two of you, purring contentedly as if his mission had been a complete success.

For a few quiet minutes, you both ate, sharing the familiar silence that used to be filled with so much unsaid affection. Even now, there was something comforting about it, like the past was a blanket thrown over the room, warming you both without permission.

“So…have you thought any more about…?” He trailed off, his voice unexpectedly softer.

You didn’t need him to finish. You knew what he was getting at: the breakup. The distance. The plans you’d made separately that had edged each other out.

“I have,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “And…I think I’m realizing some of it didn’t have to go that way.” Your eyes met his, and for once, neither of you looked away. “I guess I just wanted to feel like I could do things on my own. And I thought…” You trailed off, taking a breath. “I thought you’d understand if I needed time, but maybe I didn’t need so much time away.”

He nodded slowly, his gaze shifting from you to the empty space between you, that chasm that had grown in the months apart. “I get it. I think we both felt like we had to prove something, but in doing that, we…kinda lost what we already had.”

The words hung there, and Kevin, in the timeless way of cats, chose that moment to yawn dramatically, pushing his face closer to yours with a nudge that felt suspiciously well-timed. You could feel the little nudge of his head against your knee, almost like he was trying to physically push the two of you closer together.

“He’s persistent,” Tetsuro murmured, amusement warming his voice. “Like he won’t stop until…well, he gets what he wants.”

You laughed, scratching Kevin behind the ears. “Sounds like a certain someone I know,” you replied, nudging Tetsuro’s foot under the table with your own.

The casual touch, the gentle press of your ankle against his, was so small yet felt monumental in that quiet moment. Neither of you pulled away, and for the first time in months, the space between you felt smaller.

“Maybe…” Tetsuro started, voice uncertain. He glanced at Kevin, who seemed completely at peace, oblivious to the storm of feelings he’d orchestrated. “Maybe we could…try again? Start with small things, I mean. Like, um—Kevin dates?”

A laugh bubbled out of you, unexpected and genuine. “Kevin dates? Seriously?”

He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Hey, he’s a big fan of them, clearly. And we wouldn’t want to break his heart, right?”

You met his gaze, something familiar flickering in the warmth of his smile. It was the same look that had been there in high school when he’d confess he’d waited outside in the freezing cold just to walk you home. The same look that told you maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth holding onto.

“Alright,” you murmured, voice soft but firm. “Kevin dates it is.”

And as Kevin let out a satisfied little meow, you couldn’t help but feel that maybe he’d had the right idea all along.

Weeks had passed since that night in the kitchen, and things between you and Tetsuro had gradually shifted back into a comfortable rhythm, like slipping into an old pair of shoes. The cracks of time, once jagged and deep, had started to fill in with laughter, shared moments, and the kind of quiet affection that only came from familiarity.

Kevin, of course, continued to play the role of orchestrator, his paw prints everywhere—on the pillows, on the couch, and especially on the small, shared space between you and Tetsuro that no one could quite explain.

It was a Sunday afternoon when you found yourself at Tetsuro’s apartment, leaning against the couch, watching him and Kevin "interact" in the most absurd way possible. Kevin had somehow managed to get himself tangled in Tetsuro’s headphones, and the two of them were locked in a standoff: Kevin, half-playful and half-aggressive, tugging at the cords, and Tetsuro, trying his best to untangle the mess with the patience of a saint.

“I swear, this cat is too smart for his own good,” Tetsuro muttered, glancing up at you, clearly exasperated.

You chuckled, biting your lip to hold back a grin. “What did I tell you? He’s a schemer. You’re just his latest target.”

Tetsuro let out a breath of frustration, shaking his head as he finally freed the cat from the headphones. But Kevin only looked at him with that smug, knowing gaze that said, I’ve won.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Tetsuro grumbled, but there was no real bite to it. “I can’t believe I’m co-parenting with someone who has no shame.”

You raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. “Someone? Are you sure you’re not referring to yourself?”

He shot you a teasing look, but there was something different now—something more vulnerable behind the playful facade. “You know, I don’t mind this. The whole co-parenting thing. And I think…” His voice softened as he picked Kevin up gently, cradling the cat in his arms. “I think I like the idea of us being in each other’s lives again. Even if it’s just for Kevin’s sake.”

A silence settled between you both, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was easy, the kind of quiet that came from knowing each other for far longer than you’d care to admit. You sat down beside him, your fingers brushing against his lightly, just enough to feel the spark. Kevin, now settled in his lap, gave a low, contented purr.

“Well,” you started, voice gentle, “Kevin’s a pretty great reason to keep showing up. I guess we’ll just have to stick together for him. And, you know… maybe for us, too.”

Tetsuro met your gaze, his dark eyes warm. He didn’t say anything right away, but the look he gave you was enough. It was full of understanding, of patience—of someone who had learned the value of quiet moments and the unspoken things that meant more than grand gestures.

Kevin, once again, seemed to know just when to intervene, hopping from Tetsuro’s lap and nudging his way toward you, as if to say, This is how it’s supposed to be. You couldn’t help but smile as you reached out to scratch behind his ears, and Tetsuro, catching the moment, did the same.

In that little, seemingly insignificant moment—Kevin purring contentedly between the two of you—you realized the truth of it: Maybe we didn’t need grand gestures to fix what was broken. Maybe, we just needed to be here.

And as Tetsuro leaned back, letting the warmth of the afternoon sun spill through the windows, you felt the smallest but most important shift—the promise that, this time, you wouldn’t have to let go. Not again.

Maybe it was always meant to be this way—small moments, messy, imperfect, but full of love all the same. And maybe, just maybe, Kevin was the real genius for knowing it all along.

[crystalizedcryolite]

While waiting for me to finally finish the next chapter..

DESIGN ANALYSIS FOR MY VIGILANTE AU >:D

As always, let's start in rainbow order! But first things first; all CG members have matching eyes, in one way or another! Red has yellow eyes, Orange has green eyes, Yellow has orange eyes, Green has blue eyes, and Blue has red eyes!! I might change things depending on how it looks, though.

Anyway, Red!!

I'll admit, I'm definitely giving him a design upgrade, but let's talk about this one.

Ah, the classic yellow bandanna. How could I leave it out? It's iconic!

His hair is definitely the wildest out of everyone's. A lot of black and grey in his design, too, which makes the yellow bits and the light-up shoes REALLY stand out.

The yellow matches his eyes and bandanna, and is reminiscent of that media trope with seeing yellow eyes peek from the darkness. The mask is, of course, to hide his face. Red didn't really seem like the guy to wear a visor like Green, or cover his entire face like Blue, so he gets that mask! Might change that, who knows.

His outfit looks thrown together with not that amount of effort. Very casual, as Green pointed out. Before Orange, he was the latest addition to the team, which can mean he can be a bit inexperienced. Wanted to convey that somehow!

Light-up shoes, oh, light-up shoes... who doesn't love them? Green certainly doesn't, but Red disagrees!

Next one!

Orange/Sketch

Now, I didn't draw their vigilante outfit yet, but I added the description of it to give an idea!

I wanted her hair to give a very anime-protagonist feel, if that made sense? Not sure if I got that right but it works for me! And hey! Freckles!

Working clothes: His pants are covered in paint to give an artist-like feel. (I should know. I paint a lot and some of my clothes did NOT survive the process.) As for the top and apron, I wanted it to feel like an actual café worker's uniform without it being a basic starbucks rip-off.

Vigilante outfit: VERY reminiscent of outfits animated characters would wear in scenes where they're doing some graffiti on the streets. That was my main inspiration behind the design.

Also in dark colors. They have to blend into the darkness and stuff!

The pouch mentioned was for practical sake; as is something I like to do when thinking of designs. And it helps with the artistic urge to draw at any time, regardless of what the situation is.

Not much to say about Orange's design, besides the fact that I wanted to give it a very protagonist-y vibe.

Yellow/Y

The second design is more or less his actual vigilante outfit, buuuut yeah!

Curly hair -despite my inability to draw it- and Yellow has been a favorite hc of mine!

His outfit is somewhat inspired by steampunk? Not exactly, but I DID have steampunk in mind while making it! The pilot's jacket was the best change yet.

Someone on a03 has told me that he looks like Alan, somehow! I'm not sure if I see it, so does anyone else see it? It would be a funny coincidence if so!

Green/Songbird

His hair is my favorite part of my Green design so I HAD to keep it! The classic headphones are there with a gamer-ish colour scheme.

VERY hip-hop and streetdance inspired! His visor is a reference to the sunglasses Orange gave him in the "More Faces" short, rather than his sunglasses in the Influencer Arc.

His clothes are a reference to the clothes I see my sister wear for her own dance training, and I love streetwear in general, so its a perfect fit! The necklace is just for show, though. Nothing practical about that, but it does look cool! Plus, it's a notion to his powers! His outfit is practical, but still shows off somehow, just like Green!

My vigilante!Green is the most experienced in the group, so I wanted him to look that way, somehow? And he definitely looks the most professional! I think!

Blue/The Witch

The second member to join the vigilante team!

I HAD to give her a hat. The witch's hat is a must. Practical? Not exactly. Cool? Yes, indeed.

The mask is my favorite part. A direct reference to the "Faces" short, AND a good way for Blue to, ahem, mask her identity (hehe a pun)

The sweater and coat combination seems strange, but it looks a little like a modern witch outfit? Trenchcoats definitely give a vigilante vibe in a way, and Yellow already had one, so Blue gets a belt and a sweater to go with it!

Blue definitely needed a bag for her potions. She can't just make them on the spot!- well, she can, but it would still be a hassle! She'd be the most practical when it comes to her clothing for vigilantism, after Yellow.

Purple/Aeolus!

Obviously, the cloak is a reference to elytra. The green hairtie, the bag and the cloak buckle is a reference to their mother, Orchid. You can see the vines on the bag strap, the flowers on the bag and buckle, and the leaf-shape on the hairtie.

There's also a lot of green on them, wink wink ;3

To hide their identity, they cover a majority of their face with the cloak hood!

It was hard to balance the colors, but I'm happy with the results! This one is simple compared to the others, but its still cool nonetheless!

Purple was meant to have ripped jeans but my drawing ability to low, so... sorry, Purple.

AAAAND THAT'S ALL! Sorry if this seemed boring or disappointing, or whatnot. I tried my best!

[robolvrr]

Hi! I’m 19 just to clarify in case of anything.

Can I request HCS for TFA Optimus and Megatron with a childish human female reader, that basically yaps a lot and is energetic asf?

I was also wondering if you could make a NSFW version too? Tysm☺️🙏💕

hey non! gladly. 🤖

nsfw under the cut.

all charged up! ⊰⁠⊹ฺ⚡

tfa! optimus & megatron headcanons for a childish/energetic reader (fem! human)

"no, don't touch that. wh -- no, don't touch that either! oh, by the allspark, hellooo!"

optimus prime

remember when i said optimus stressed out protecting humanity?

yeah, this was primarily the source of why.

he's always got tons of responsibility placed on his shoulders.

his team, for one, is always managing to get themselves into trouble and while he cares for them deeply, he's gonna start gaining faceplate dents like ratchet.

so when you get fumbled in the crew? he thinks that maybe karma is out to get him from some past transgression.

"can i touch that?"

"no."

"how about.. this!"

"wh-- no. are you trying to lose one of those things?"

"fingers?"

"not the point. it's an axe, not a toy."

he chides you just like everyone else out of love.

if he didn't care (which just isn't in his circuits, is there a rusted piston anywhere in that heroic frame?) he'd let you go wild.

when the threat of death isn't looming though?

finds your characteristics to be rather charming. he is after all familiar with bee and the twins and sari.

you have a strange way of encouraging him to relax, believe it or not. remind him life isn't just work and balancing the universe in his servos.

when he isn't in a mood, he likes to listen to you ramble.

you have a unique perspective. like how you talk to him for hours about how you thought ghosts were real and ask silly questions about his culture like "do you guys eat rocks?"

he goes to you the most to consult about earth.

hyperfixations? he may not understand a lick of yours or just what "my little pony was and how it changed the internet for years to come", but he lets you animatedly describe every thought on every inch of your brain.

let's you sit on his shoulders.

similar to your planet, you've gotten him warmed up to you.

"just how much longer do you plan on prattling, little one?"

megatron

he's mean.

i mean, what do you expect from an galactic warlord?

not to say he doesn't find amusement in the behavior. his lackeys frequently argue and get into ridiculous situations and arguments on a cycles basis.

however, he doesn't like organics. given his predicament, fiending without the power of a frame to push his narratives for so long builds resentment.

at first he finds you an absolute nuisance. you were really a comment away from having shockwave get a hold of you instead.

he's kidnapped you from the autobots because similar to that meddlesome doctors offspring, they clearly hold high regards for you.

you just didn't stop talking.

yes, you got the large glass jar treatment.

yes, he did rattle it once when you asked him if "decepticons sounded like band name."

when he's feeling boredom, he'll demand you try to say anything interesting.

he holds little regard to your feelings. though he does find the need, almost craving, for you to constantly be restless.... somewhat entertaining.

think of how one looks at a mangy mutt. (isn't he a gentlemech?!)

nsfw.

optimus prime

"hahhh.. hff. just h-how long can you keep up this pace, haha!?"

you have the libido of a bunny.

optimus learns the hard way, when you first start to get intimate.

interfacing with you is never slow. it's why he has to concentrate every control filter to not slamming into you when you claw at his array and whine at him to stop being a bully.

you're eager -- you both are -- but he finds your wandering hands to be almost overwhelming as you just can't keep still.

you ask him lots and lots of questions. how big is he? can you lick his valve? are those fluids toxic? do you need to get protection?

his helm is hot to the touch. he ends up putting his digit in your mouth as a distraction.

he's about to correct you but of course, you're talking. his audials are close to setting on fire.

you shove yourself on his spike and he bites his dermas hard, because you're just so eager and he's way too big. just the tip is enough to create a bulge at your mound and suddenly, his intake feels very, very dry.

you're so talkative. too talkative.

"ha... mmn! your spike is so, so good! i-i can't believe i'm doing this! sex with a giant. ahn! robot!!! this is the best day of my life!"

his optics are burning and bright. your excitement drips down his shaft.

when the compliments get to be too much, he ends up grabbing your wrists and pinning them behind you, bouncing your body against his hips.

he silences you a lot with kisses. not out of annoyance (though sometimes you do get too loud and he's not trying to risk waking up the entire base), but because you fluster him so damn bad.

when he overloads and you're squealing, he lifts you up just to see the sticky transfluid roll down your ankles.

".... another round?"

"another!?"

megatron

"not so chatty now, are you little one?"

megatron's cruelty does not stop at the berthroom.

his way of dealing with your nonstop buzzing? is to simply frag it out of you.

it's painfully indulgent. you're the size of nothing compared to him, a behemoth of a being outside your comprehension. he treats you like a sleeve.

you ask the stupid notion if maybe he needed to get his frustration out in a more "fun" way.

then maybe he wouldn't be so gloomy all the time!

the look he gives is terrifying. that smile isn't helping either....

all that energy and innocent glee? he plans on putting to good use.

now, he finds your cherub nature enchanting. how you whine and chirp out silly protests, huffing how he's just a "big, bad meanie" and you were gonna "make him regret it, so help it!"

"yesss, yesss. cry harder, little human."

takes you from behind so he can stick a single digit in the pocket of your cheek. you loll your tongue out in a way he finds appealing and stupid.

when you go on rambles amidst his planning, primarily when you are bored and lonely, don't be surprised if he opens his panels at your chin and pops it in between your lips.

"am... i... ffff.. a-am i gonna get pregnant with your little ro--"

"don't finish that imbecilic question unless you want this to be the last time, girl."

megatron's human concubine. there's a first time in history for everything, after all.

deep down? he doesn't want you to change a bit. he rather likes breaking you down.

[ufojones]

mecha pilot jazz in the chest (not the head) is also the funniest options for other reasons! imagine the cross-cultural confusion. Like say Jazz meets Optimus and the gang and OP gives some big speech and is like "what matters most is what's in here" while patting his chest, and all the Bots are like "wow that's so deep, it's what's in the spark that matters" and meanwhile Jazz is just nodding along like "yeah, the pilot, duh!" Or Jazz deciding to hop out of his mecha to stretch his legs, so his chest pops open in front of Prowl who *gay panics* because why is this guy baring his spark in front of him, he didn't think their relationship was that serious yet!!! --but then instead a...smaller version of Jazz crawls out of his own chest (because I'm assuming the spacesuit doesn't look super organic at first glance) and then Prowl is like....uhh was this guy pregnant? how do babby happen?? is Jazz secretly a cassette host???? and honestly Jazz getting mistaken for being a cassette of his mecha would be a totally hilarious and believable outcome. I mean, personality wise he overlaps with Blaster pretty well, so the Bots are like 'oh no wonder the weird new guy likes music so much, he's a tape deck! that must be why he's Like That, too, all the cassette carriers are a bit weird.' Though Bots think it's odd that the mini mech also goes by 'Jazz' and meanwhile Jazz is confused why they all keep calling him 'Jazz Junior' when he's kicking it offline? (Meanwhile Ultra Magnus is squinting very suspiciously at the entire situation, because assuming you go with the IDW flavor, that Jazz-within-a-Jazz set-up looks awfully like his own secret load-bearer situation with his inner Minimus Ambus. So Magnus is trying to subtly figure out if Jazz is the same as him. But meanwhile Jazz is confused about this weird Magnus dude who keeps dropping all these hints and comes to the conclusion that Magnus is trying to tell him that he's *also* a human piloting a mecha?? Assuming he's figured out by then that the rest of the Bots aren't piloted. So they both think they share a secret, but it's two different secrets lmao.) Or maybe then Jazz takes off his spacesuit and is suddenly revealed to be organic and now instead all the Bots are panicking that their new buddy has some sort of parasite lmao. like if a transformer chest opens and an organic crawls out, their first thought wouldn't be 'pilot' it would be 'tapeworm', let's be real. Or if you want to get darker with it--maybe they *do* think 'pilot', but in the same way they would think it if a quintesson crawled out of a mech. As in, Jazz the mech was enslaved. And suddenly all these giant robots are trying to eradicate Jazz the human to protect their friend Jazz the mecha, who has seemingly been left unresponsive by this unidentified new organic enslavement threat. (Because a *new* organic species suddenly turning up that appears to be successfully enslaving mechs would be terrifying. Like it's probably a huge trope in their horror movies, right up there with sparkeaters.) Luckily for Jazz, his new buddy Prowl is a pretty intelligent guy, maybe he's smart enough to put the pieces together before his weirdo maybe-boyfriend's organic core gets squished? Also, if you go with the 'organic parasite horror trope' implications, that means when Prowl and Jazz are together after whatever reveal, Prowl is literally living out their version of the supernatural romance genre. He's the normal guy dating the scary creature from horror stories! Prowl is the Bella Swan in this AU, is what I'm trying to get at, lmao.

Question, is jazz controlling his mech from the chest or is he like, located in the head? Chest would make sense I think if you compare it to gundam and such but head is sorta like a brain replacement? Plus there is the huge visor he could potentially look through?

I think it needs to be chest because. Hear me out

Normal reason - the thickest armor - the best possible protection for pilot

My honest reason - JUST IMAGINE how freaky it would be for Prowl to see Jazz get FUCKING DECAPITATED and keep fighting after it. Just imagine

[coffeebooksrain18]

If I'm honest, the inner circle is over rated.

Armen was cool but she never fought unless absolutely necessary. And now that she doesn't have her crazy powers she just some old bitch in a basic fae body she STOLE!

Mor is legit just a hot blond who is smart and is a lesbian, she has a sad back story but other than that she's a hypocrite for hating everyone in Hewn City even though there are plenty that were and are in the same situation as her.

Cassian is just a brute who is hot. Like seriously that's it, only redeeming quality he has is he's funny and with Nesta.

Rhys...God don't even get me started on Rhys! Man made Feyra drink Fae wine and give him lap dances even though Tamlin was already planning to kill Amaarantha. Then there is the fact he says he's the most powerful high lord and yet none of the others fear him other than the fact he's bat shit! Yeah no your not powerful your just crazy my guy. Then Feyras pregnancy, man legit would rather sentence her to death than give up a baby, like I get it's hard but dude you got 1000s OF YEARS TO PUMP THEM IN!

Feyra, girl is the most basic Mc ever. She legit went from the sad scared girl to op like every last one of them. Also she goes on and on about her life of poverty and starvation but doesn't help anyone in the slums of the city. Like girl legit let her sister live in a slum and instead of fixing the housing so people don't freeze she builds a new mansion and throws her sister to a tower she can't get down from.

Azriel, the only one redeemable as long as he gets with Gwyn. Though Cassian is still on thin ice with me too.

Also if anyone is wondering why Elain or Nesta aren't here 1) I have made a post about Elain already here it is if you want to read it. And 2) because I love Nesta and will defend her with my life!

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

My Yakuza Man

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

One night, after missing the last train due to overtime, I chose a different route home and found myself frozen on a pedestrian bridge.

Nobunaga: "To think I'd run into the likes of you in a place like this."

Ahead, a group of men dressed in black stood at the top of the stairs, glaring at each other.

Shingen: "Pretty weird coincidence, isn’t it? Though, I would’ve preferred meeting a lovely lady rather than a bunch of scruffy men."

Kenshin: "Stop talking nonsense."

Kenshin: "It's not just the executives; even the leaders of the clans are here. This is a perfect chance for a fight."

Masamune: "The same goes for us in the Azuchi clan."

Mitsuhide: "Yeah. Shingen and Kenshin of the Kasugayama Clan. And Kennyo, who's rising as a third power."

Mitsuhide: "Plus, we have the arms dealer Kicho and Motonari. Quite a gathering, I must say."

Kennyo: "The location isn't ideal, but it looks like there's no avoiding a fight."

Motonari: "Ha! If we're going to do this, let's do it with a bang."

Kicho: "Seems there's no escaping a clash."

(Are those swords they're holding? Are they filming a scene?)

(There's no one around right now, but…)

Mai: "Ah!"

I backed away and lost my footing on the stairs.

???: "Whoa!"

A strong arm reached out and caught me from behind.

Keiji: "You alright, miss?"

Mai: "Y-Yes."

Keiji: "If you stay on the edge like that, you might fall again. Come here."

The man who helped me smiled brightly and guided my confused self to the center of the pedestrian bridge.

Keiji: "You're lucky I'm here, huh?"

Hideyoshi: "You’re late."

Kanetsugu: "If anything, this woman is unlucky for ending up in a situation like this."

Keiji: "Hey, don't be like that! We'd all feel bad if an innocent woman got hurt because of us, right?"

Sasuke: "You have a point."

Ranmaru: "True!"

Mai: "Um, excuse me."

Mai: "Are you guys civilians?"

They looked at me with blank expressions.

Mitsuhide: "Oh? Do we look like ordinary citizens to you?"

(Ugh, now that I look closer, they're all pretty handsome but have an intimidating vibe.)

Ieyasu: "If you think we're just regular, law-abiding citizens, then you're seriously off the mark and not paying attention to the danger around you."

Mai: "So, in other words, you're not ordinary, law-abiding citizens?"

Mitsunari: "Yes. That's how it is."

(He's the kindest-looking one, and he confirmed it!)

Kenshin: "Ridiculous. Woman, get back. You're in the way."

Hideyoshi: "Lord Nobunaga, please step back!"

Nobunaga: "I'll leave it to you, Hideyoshi."

The man called Nobunaga was about to strike, but Hideyoshi unsheathed his sword and blocked the blow.

Yukimura: "Hey, you! You're gonna get hurt!"

(What am I supposed to do with that warning!?)

Keiji: "Don't panic, princess."

Keiji: "We need you to stay here until we're done, okay? We need a witness."

With a sharp breath, he thrust a spear from behind me.

I was startled, but the tip of the spear was stopped by a man standing in its path.

Yoshimoto: "Good grief."

The spear's sharp trajectory was expertly deflected by an iron fan.

Yoshimoto: "Keiji, you're a scary man."

Keiji: "I’ll probably lose to you, for sure."

Despite their gentle, almost otherworldly voice and bright smiles, the two men kept fighting.

(These two are really scary!)

Motonari: "An opening!"

At that moment, a crack suddenly appeared in the concrete beneath my feet.

I cautiously peeked down and saw a bullet lodged in it, making my blood run cold.

(There's no sound, though. A silencer?)

(But the power behind that shot—wait, this isn't fake!)

Ranmaru: "Geez, that was close."

The young man who avoided the gunshot jumped up onto the railing.

However, his slender body seemed to wobble for a second.

(Watch out!)

Instinctively, I forgot my fear and jumped toward him.

Ranmaru: "Whoa!?"

I pulled him with all my strength, and we both rolled to the ground.

Mai: "Are you okay!?"

Ranmaru: "Y-Yeah."

Mai: "Thank goodness."

Kenshin: "What are you doing?"

Mai: "I should be the one asking you that! What the hell are you all doing!?"

Mai: "You have to value your lives!"

A wave of relief hit me, followed by intense anger.

Seeing them stop their fight in shock, I came back to my senses.

(I yelled without thinking.)

(But I don't think I said anything wrong.)

Kennyo: "This young lady has a point."

Mai: "-----!"

Kennyo: "If we continue fighting in a place like this, we might end up involving others."

With those words, the others started nodding in agreement.

Kicho: "I agree. We've gotten a bit too carried away; perhaps we should save this for another time."

Motonari: "Tch, guess the moment's ruined."

Mitsuhide: "Value your lives, huh?"

Mitsuhide: "To bring up such a normal principle in this situation is interesting."

Yukimura: "It's so normal that it actually makes her stand out."

(Wait, am I being teased? Or are they just exasperated?)

Nobunaga: "You're an amusing woman. I like you."

Nobunaga: "How about becoming the woman of the Azuchi Clan?"

Mai: "What?!"

Everyone: "----!"

Mai: "N-No, thank you!"

Masamune: "Now, now, hold on."

(Ah!)

The man with an eye patch casually lifted something from my chest.

(My employee ID! I forgot I still had it on!)

Masamune: "Mai, huh? Cute name."

Mai: "G-Give it back!"

Masamune: "Nah, don't feel like it."

Mitsuhide: "Not only are you a witness to tonight's events, but you've caught Lord Nobunaga's interest."

Mitsuhide: "We can't just let you go."

Hideyoshi: "You guys, take it easy on her. Hey, are you hurt anywhere?"

Hideyoshi: "We owe you for helping Ranmaru. We'll have to thank you properly later."

Ieyasu: "You're way too reckless. Are you an idiot? I've never seen anyone like you."

Mitsunari: "Indeed. Your brave actions really moved me. I want to know more about you."

Ranmaru: "Thanks for saving me earlier, miss! I was so surprised."

Mai: "U-Um."

Keiji: "Haha, you've become quite popular! I'm feeling a little jealous."

Shingen: "You're a brave and kind-hearted young lady. It must have been fate that we met tonight."

Kenshin: "Hey, woman. Mai, was it? I'll remember you."

Sasuke: "Lord Kenshin, you're scaring her. Sorry about my boss. Maybe I could apologize on his behalf sometime?"

Yukimura: "You're like a wild boar, huh? No offense."

Yoshimoto: "Indeed. The look on your face as you ran to protect him was beautiful—captivating, even."

Kanetsugu: "You're a reckless woman. You should've just ditched everything and run for your life. Are you a little pup who acts without thinking?"

Kennyo: "But that honest spirit of yours shines brightly to people like us."

Motonari: "Agreed. You're so pure and sweet that I almost feel like crushing you underfoot."

Kicho: "You poor thing. You're getting all the attention from these troublemakers. You've even got me curious now."

(This can't be happening.)

They spoke to me one after another, leaving me in shock.

Nobunaga: "Don't think you can escape, Mai."

Mai: "…..…"

I finally realized that these men, clearly part of the underworld, now knew my face, name, and workplace.

(What's going to happen to me now!?)

[undercoverslutt]

bestiesolderbrother! simon <- masterlist simon "ghost" riley x reader

during the summer before sophomore year.

let's take a blast to the past, okay?

"So, when are you going back to college?" His voice flings from across the room, and it's like his timber is clawing up your back, you feel it at your neck. Simon's voice did so much to you, it was so different than all the other guys at your campus. So deep, provocative and protecting. He was only a few years older than you, and his sister. He didn't go to college like you two, but he was extremely smart. He came back from bootcamp earlier in the summer, and was staying at his parents house until he could find his own place.

Simon was the "problem child", always getting into trouble, never really knowing what was next with him. But he was so smart, street smart. You never felt more safe with a man's presence in your entire life. Your dad was never around, and your mom never really cared where you went off to. So you were always here, with your best friend and her older brother, and their parents. You did like being in their company, this was your second home, if need be. And sometimes you did need it. No, you didn't really need to be here for the comfort aspect, but when your mom locked you out of the house one too many times, you couldn't help but need to come to take a few showers and get some spare clothes from your best friend during the summer. Her parents were very understanding. Even if they didn't talk about it much, it was almost unspoken.

"I go back in like," You close your eyes as you tally up the days, feeling a bit overwhelmed at having to talk to this guy, "I'd say a month and a half."

This was going to be your sophomore year in college. Were you ready for school again? No. Did you want some new atmosphere? Yes. Were you missing your own dorm? Yes. You didn't have a roommate, thank the heavens.

It was really quiet in this part of town. And your best friend's got a new boyfriend so she's rarely ever home anymore, let alone when you guys go off to college. You barely see her at all. It's like you're living in her house, without her. But she said she would be back later tonight so you guys could go out to eat, maybe? That's if her man doesn't string along

But Simon was here a-lot of the time. And he was nice to you. Very respectful. Trying to make you feel as normal as possible. He tended to ask you many questions when you guys were alone, and you thought it was sweet. He just wanted you to be able to talk to someone. About anything.

"Excited?" He continues.

"Yeah, I am." You let out a laugh, you know your non-enthusiastic character was completely juxtaposing everything you were saying. "It's just school though, you know?"

Simon nods, and starts picking up a jacket, almost like he was following your movements. "You got a boyfriend that I need to know about?"

A boyfriend?

"No?" You say shortly. You weren't in the mood for guys, I guess. You begin pulling your shoes from the cubby, you always put them in the third box to the right. It was yours at this point. "Not at the moment, Si. Why are you asking?"

You begin to tie your shoes, bending down so you don't have to look at him at all. You don't know if you feel embarrassed, awkward, or just weirdly protected by his questions. He's quiet for awhile. "If you're anything like my sister, I want to give you some advice."

Advice. Please.

"Don't be like her, okay?" He starts off, and you fucking laugh. You fucking laugh, and he stops in his tracks. "What? I'm being serious."

"I am too. You don't have to worry about my decision-making. If that's what you're saying." You look up at him finally. So he's just trying to be that type of person right now. One thing you hated, was someone trying to give you "advice" on shit you didn't need help with. You were fine on your own and always had been. You didn't need anything. You didn't need a parent.

"No, no, not at all." He repeated, finally situating a jacket on his bulky body. "I'm just saying."

"What?" You want him to continue, but you don't know if he will.

"Just be careful." He stops, zips up his jacket and grabs his phone. You grab your keys and the bag you had brought. The next words he says are heavy to you, and slow, like he's trying to make you understand what he was trying to say. "You've grown up."

That heat crawls back, down to your palms and up your neck. He was acknowledging you. "I know, Simon."

You wanted to say something more about this, but the only thing happening was a weird, tight-lipped smile on your face. "I'll catch you later, ghost."

[howlingmod]

Hello mod, may I request something cutesy for Skateboard x reader?

summary - skateboard x reader, reader is from blackrock and is described as being a little bit messed up from it (not detailed)

misc - hi i seen this request and got so excited i love skateboard ... 1million tripmine attack go

-Skateboard hadn't really been looking to make any new friends when he'd stumbled onto you. It'd been late at night and he was dead tired, having spent the entire day in the blistering heat of day. He was really just looking to go home when he'd seen you.

-It wasn't uncommon to see people lost in Playground, especially people from other regions. It was less common to see someone frantically pacing back and forth with a stuffed full suitcase and what was very obviously a Blackrock-style uniform talking about getting hunted for sport.

-Initially, the uniform had put him on edge. He phights Subspace and Hyperlaser all the time and he's seen plenty of people from there pass through Playground, and it wasn't often they had good intentions. There was something different about you, though, your panic didn't seem manufactured to draw someone in, it felt unnervingly genuine. Blackrock isn't exactly known for letting its residents easily slip out whenever they want. if you really were some kind of runaway, you definitely had reason to be freaking out.

-Against his better judgement, he approached you.

"Hey man, are you ok?" Skate asked cautiously, taking a few steps closer to you. He kept his distance, he wasn't sure what kind of gear you might have and he wasn't looking to phight right now. Your head had whipped towards him the moment he'd stepped into the alley, wide eyes darting over his figure. He certainly didn't look like the type to be affiliated with the faction. Besides, to be entirely honest, an alley was a pretty terrible place to hide. For any Blackrock authority with an itchy trigger finger (most of them, you noted bitterly), it was the perfect place to solve a runaway. "Hello...?" You blinked, remembering he'd asked a question. "O-Oh, um... Yeah I'm- I'm fine," you stammered, hastily smoothing yourself out and ripping your eyes away. Any attempt at looking casual was soaked in anxiety. "Right, Right," he didn't believe you at all, "You mind telling me what's up then?" You kicked at the ground a few times, scuffing up already worn workboots out in an attempt to shake your nerves. You couldn't meet his eyes for more than a glance. "I'd rather not." Skate paused for a few moments. Maybe it's exhaustion talking, but you really didn't seem like much of a threat. If you were trying to bait him into getting close, it seemed counterintuitive to be acting so guarded. This didn't feel like an elaborate scheme, it just felt like a genuine moment of crisis. Before he could say anything, you spoke up again. "Listen I just- Do you need something? I really don't know why you're talking to me." You were struggling to keep your voice firm, but you couldn't afford to let your voice wobble over the edge and into tears. "Hey, just calm down. I wanna help you, ok?" This could have been a stupid move, but he took another few steps closer, one arm holding his board and the other raised in a show of pacifism, "I'm sorry if I was freakin' you out with all the questions. Do you have anywhere to go?" You bit the inside of your cheek, mentally debating if you really wanted to put this onto a stranger. On one hand, it was just humiliating for you. On the other, it was a risk, he might be playing nice now but he could sell you out in a heartbeat. "No." "Alright, well how about you come with me?" He was quick to clarify when you glanced at him, "You can stay with me until you find a place! Or, I could try and find some hotel nearby, I guess ..." He trailed off, talking more to himself than you. Part of you was screaming to run the other way, as far as you knew this guy had you totally figured out and was ready to use the situation to get whatever it was he wanted. He could blackmail you, rat you out, ruin every chance you have at a new life. You can't just pick up and keep running if he tries anything, this guy was clearly from here, far more familiar with the bustling city than you were. Despite all this- "Please."

-It was a pretty long adjustment period. Skate was a little too casual and open for your paranoid mind to comprehend and you were a little too guarded and mysterious for Skate to trust you fully. You were so unfamiliar with Playground's culture, the lively and crowded atmosphere was a stark contrast to the utilitarian lifestyle you were accustomed to. There was little you could do other than try and bully forward.

-It was the little things that made Skate warm up to you. You always insisted it was out of politeness whenever he'd confront you about how nice the place looked or how there was leftovers for him when he got home. You would get wrapped up in something and you would start talking to yourself, walking through all the different steps and alternatives in a long ramble under your breath. Despite the exterior you were putting up, there was clearly some life to you yet.

-Sometimes he would tease you about it, but he was surprisingly strategic. He'd annoy you just enough to get you to glare at him and then back off for a while, returning the favor by bringing home snacks and takeout for the two of you in an effort to draw out more of that humanity. Besides, you could really use the food. The day he noticed most everything you made for yourself was just whatever used the least amount of resources was the same day he shoved most of his portion over to you without a word.

-Neither of you really noticed how you opened up to one another. Slowly you two stopped sitting on opposite sides of the room until you spent nights laying on one another watching bad tv. Admittedly, he might've gotten the first hint at his crush for you the first time you fell asleep on him. Sure, it was just plain cute, but it meant something more knowing it was you, the same person who used to run off to go eat by yourself every night and stuck to the corners of a room.

-He noticed your quirks become more apparent, little references and phrases he'd never heard before suddenly littered your every word. You spoke more openly, though you still had a tendency of not talking unless he said something that absolutely called for it. He didn't mind, he was usually the more chatty one in his friendships anyway. He just liked getting an excuse to tell you about all the phights he's been in and all the (more lighthearted) things his gang was up to. At some points, the lines between fabrication and reality in his stories blurred for whatever reason. He didn't mind that either, so long as you were laughing or drawn in by what he was saying.

-You weren't into the idea of phighting yourself, it was just a little too much for you. Besides, even the idea of seeing Hyperlaser or Subspace again on the battlefield of all places made your stomach churn. Instead, he'd just gotten you into play wrestling with him. You were stronger than he'd been expecting, though he probably should've known you would be considering your background. He didn't have to take it easy on you, only really holding back for the sake of not breaking anything.

-It was cliche, but there was some time where you'd won and managed to shove him down and keep him there and all the admiration he' been building up for you overflowed and left him looking up at you with some dumb grin. You were smiling back, something you'd only recently really started doing again. He liked to think it was because you were comfortable here with him, you would agree.

"Hi." "Hey." He laughed again, a nervous habit you often poked fun at, "You're really pretty, you know that?" You'd burnt up at that, laughing a little yourself as you stared down at him, "Where's this coming from?" "I dunno, just been thinking it." "You're weird." "Do you like me weird?" You snorted, halfheartedly swatting him one more time before pushing yourself back up. "Of course." "That's good, I like you weird too," the moment he'd finished his sentence, you were already pouncing on him again.

[leclerc-s]

karma - part ten

series masterlist // previous // next

natalia leclerc fuck charles leclerc and his super sperm

daniel ricciardo what happened to hello? how are you? good morning

liam lawson talk about top 10 things i never want to see first thing in the morning

yuki tsunoda considering your current situation, i would say you have fucked charles leclerc

ben santos-ruiz max is trying max verstappen fuck you benjamin

oscar piastri-leclerc somethings are too much for me

sebastian vettel does this have something to do with the doctor's appointment you had this morning?

natalia leclerc yes sebastian, it does

ollie bearman-leclerc did you kill charles? is that why he's not here?

natalia leclerc that bitch is too busy laughing at my predicament natalia leclerc he participates all of five minutes and somehow I'M stuck carrying TWO of his spawns!!

max verstappen wait, have you picked godparents? do i get to be a godparent?

pato o'ward-leclerc what on earth makes you think they picked god parents already??

natalia leclerc i'll have you know, no, we're still thinking about that

logan sargeant-leclerc I VOLUNTEER!!

ollie bearman-leclerc so pick me, choose me

max verstappen ??

ollie bearman-leclerc you are the most chronologically offline f1 driver i have ever met. i bet fernando would get that reference and he's ancient

oscar piastri-leclerc thank you for the blackmail for when you want to do the thing

ollie bearman-leclerc FUCK YOU! DON'T DO THAT SHIT!

jenson button what on earth are they arguing about?

natalia leclerc nothing. i swear.

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel, olliebearman and others

natalia_leclerc surprise, but not really because someone spoiled it. p.s. don't worry people, he's still alive, but not after i see him in hungary.

tagged: charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc thank you for giving me the best gift i could've ever asked for 💙

natalia_leclerc i'm sorry for nearly giving you a heart attack when you found out the day before your home grand prix 💙 charles_leclerc no, you're not but that's okay. i wouldn't have it any other way.

arthur_leclerc I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!! (NOT CLICKBAIT) (FOR REAL)

maxverstappen1 you don't have to worry about her killing you over this one arthur_leclerc what i did is small compared to what lando did

landonorris I SAID I'M SORRY!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!

natalia_leclerc you're dead norris. dead ⚰️

uesr1 wait, how did charles find out? with the cake?

natalia_leclerc you know that day where he was spotted running around the paddock like a maniac? user1 yeah? natalia_leclerc that day. i sent a picture in our family group chat with three different positive pregnancy tests and then ghosted them 💀

user2 you're telling me charles found out through a text?!

natalia_leclerc I PANICKED OKAY? HE WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF QUALI WHEN I FOUND OUT! bensantos_ruiz we found out she was dating charles through a gossip page. this is nothing new for her maxverstappen1 and then you found out she was married through her instagram stories bensantos_ruiz my sister has a flair for the dramatic, what can i say? charles_leclerc it's okay because i love her.

olliebearman GUYS! I'M GONNA BE A BIG BROTHER!!

user3 you are taking this way too seriously bensantos_ruiz i was told to inform people that my dad says to not tell ollie anything. and seb. user3 oh so they're family, family.

sukiwaterhouse congrats!!! can't wait to meet baby ruiz

charles_leclerc this is new levels of haterism suki sukiwaterhouse oh i know 😉 psa to carlosainz55 only i'm allowed to hate on charles. not you. charles_leclerc oh my god natalia_leclerc it's leclerc-ruiz suki, we've talked about this sukiwaterhouse of course my love, anything you say my love charles_leclerc 🫵 simp sukiwaterhouse i know your ass ain't talking leclerc

redbullracing if admin let out a loud scream, no can legally tell us anything.

natalia_leclerc red bull admin, i seriously love you.

aurorabutton congratulations!! if the way you treat your grid kids says anything it's that you're going to be great parents!!

natalia_leclerc thank you aurora! charles_leclerc thank you little button! maxverstappen1 why the fuck does he get to call you little button but not me? aurorabutton he's charles leclerc you sid the sloth

aurorabutton currently waiting for peter pettigrew to find a way to ruin the moment and make this about him

user4 not peter pettigrew 💀😭 user5 never has he been described more accurately.

carlossainz55 you just had to find a way to tie him down didn't you?

maxverstappen1 you speak like someone who was in love with charles and not natalia, which we all know you were or still are, it’s hard to remember sometimes olliebearman don't you have other things to do? like find your jobless ass a seat for next year? natalia_leclerc i tied him down when we were 6 and he pulled on my pigtails because he didn't know how to talk to me but thanks! charles_leclerc so this is what the children call pick me behavior?? patriciooward no one wants you here, go away!! oscarpiastri don't you have a girlfriend to go cheat on? logansargeant man why do you have to ruin the moment? we're having a good time and you just ruin the vibes, like always. aurorabutton oh go fuck yourself sainz. maybe norris can help you out? landonorris WHY THE FUCK AM I CATCHING STRAYS??

alex_albon petition to have myself be godfather??

natalia_leclerc done. you're hired! maxverstappen1 THAT'S ALL IT TAKES?! alex_albon i can't tell if she's being serious or not? natalia_leclerc you are quite literally the reason charles and i are together? silverstone 2017 ringing a bell? alex_albon OH I DID DO THAT! user6 ALEX ALBON IS THE REASON THEY'RE TOGETHER?? alex_albon we were all sick and tired of the will they won't they thing they had going on so i locked them in a closet before silverstone race day in 2017 and wouldn't let them out until they confessed their feelings for each other

rileykeough congratulations to the happy couple!! excited to meet baby leclerc-ruiz!!

natalia_leclerc thank you my love ❤️ charles_leclerc please stop asking me to name our child after you rileykeough OH COME ONE! ALBON GETS TO BE GODFATHER BUT I CAN'T GET ONE NAMED AFTER ME? alex_albon why am i catching strays??

pierregasly WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HELLO? HOW ARE YOU? WHY WAS I NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS??

charles_leclerc so that's who i forgot to tell pierregasly APOLOGY WITH TEARS!!!

kellypiquet congrats, you look beautiful 💙

natalia_leclerc kelly, i'm not kidding, i might cry kellypiquet oh, i understand, trust me

isahernaez felicitaciones!! no cabe duda que van a ser los mejores papas para sus pequeños 💙

natalia_leclerc isa, me vas a hacer llorar más 🥹 te extraño, tenemos que encontrarnos pronto isahernaez obvio! dime cuándo y a qué horas y allí estaré! user7 my favorite ex-ferrari wags 😭💔

liked by bensantos_ruiz, pierregasly, lilymhe and others

charles_leclerc il n'y a personne d'autre au monde avec qui je voudrais devenir parents à part toi (there's no one else in the world who i would rather be parents with)

tagged: natalia_leclerc

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maxverstappen1 two photoshoots for a pregnancy announcement seems like a lot

natalia_leclerc just say you're bitter that he picked me and not you. maxverstappen1 never ever natalia_leclerc you're the other woman! maxverstappen1 no, YOU'RE the other woman! aurorabutton pack it up emily, victor, and victoria

danielricciardo congrats!!! can't wait to meet baby leclerc-ruiz

natalia_leclerc have i told you how much i love you mr. honey badger?? charles_leclerc thank you daniel danielricciardo yes, i'll steal more stroopwafels from max natalia_leclerc you're the best mr. ricciardo

liamlawson30 A MINI LIGHTNING MCQUEEN!!!

yukitsunoda0511 you have to stop calling him lightning mcqueen liamlawson30 the day carlos stops being bitter about charles having everything he wanted with natalia is the day i'll stop user8 oh so this is a red bull v sainz family thing liamlawson30 no it's a leclerc-ruiz v sainz thing but we firmly stand on charles and nat's side.

redbullracing brb preparing the red bull baby gear!!

charles_leclerc please don't over do it. redbullracing what do you mean?? it's not like we mass ordered a baby pram?? for every stage of the babies life?? charles_leclerc oh mon dieu

lorenzotl maman hasn't stopped crying since she saw nat's post

bensantos_ruiz oh i don't think dad's gone a day without bursting into tears arthur_leclerc wait, does this mean i'm not the favorite anymore? natalia_leclerc you never were, that was me charles_leclerc that's because you were the only girl and let maman do your hair all the time

pierregalsy wtf does she mean when she says i can't be godfather??

natalia_leclerc i meant what i said gasly charles_leclerc she said she doesn't trust a man who makes 🐶 jokes pierregasly SO YOU PICKED ALEX OVER ME? natalia_leclerc alex is a very responsible man, who sometimes does questionable things but we love him. alex_albon name one time i've done something questionable natalia_leclerc before your appendix surgery you texted me saying i had to be ready in case you didn't make it. alex_albon i've seen greys anatomy.

user8 the stars have really aligned for charles leclerc this year haven't they?

user9 bestie, what do you mean? user8 well, he's championship leader right now, he's married to the love of his life, he's going to be a dad, and he won monaco user10 charles leclerc, what sacrifices did you make to get to this point? user11 carlos' seat at ferrari 💀 ❤ by charles_leclerc user9 this man is messy as fuck and i love that for him

charles leclerc i wasn't going to ask but natalia said i had to, thoughts on going to the eras tour?

ollie bearman-leclerc DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK?! I WANT TO GO!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!

natalia leclerc i told you they would want to go

pato o'ward-leclerc i am a swiftie first and human second.

oscar piastri-leclerc it's like you hate us or something

logan sargeant-leclerc i just know max wouldn't treat us this way.

charles leclerc fuck you logan, i'm a way better parent than max.

ollie bearman-leclerc i bet max wouldn't forget about p if he was going to the eras tour with kelly

charles leclerc okay, i didn't forget about you guys, but we are going with pierre and kika

pato o'ward-leclerc OH SO YOU FORGET ABOUT US BUT NOT PIERRE AND KIKA?

natalia leclerc in his defense kika and i were the ones who wanted to go and i told him you four would want to go too

oscar piastri-leclerc oh? and what did he say?

charles leclerc i said that you wouldn't want to go

logan sargeant-leclerc IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW US!!

pato o'ward-leclerc DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!

ollie bearman-leclerc so we're not going to the eras tour??

ollie bearman-leclerc 🙁🙁

charles leclerc i have 4 extra tickets??

ollie bearman-leclerc LET'S FUCKING GO!!! I HOPE I GET THUG SONG AS MY SURPRISE SONG

pato o'ward-leclerc REPUTATION ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

logan sargeant-leclerc DEBUT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

oscar piastri-leclerc lily's going to kill me for going without her

natalia leclerc at least one of you has your priorities straight

natalia_leclerc posted new stories

video transcript: "look amore, i learned this last night!" - charles "people have been doing that for ages charles. stop acting so old!" - ollie "yeah charles, this behavior is kinda embarrassing." - oscar "this is why logan and i are the favorites." - pato just so we're clear... the best lunch date 🩷 don't tell the boys by the way, taylor sang wonderland for me. i know because the voices told me (this is a joke. please don't start saying i'm crazy) mi corazón 🥹🥹 the boys are arguing over what we're getting for dinner in the back btw.

HUNGARY 2024

natalia_leclerc posted new stories

oscar piastri!! grand prix winner!! a well deserved victory, no matter what anyone says. (that is my son and i will fight anyone who says anything about him)

oscar piastri-leclerc patricio ask rossi when he's going to win a race with mclaren?

pato o'ward-leclerc damn he wins one race and suddenly he's bold ollie bearman-leclerc let him have this. he almost lost it to his teammate

natalia leclerc i'm willing to commit murder if you need me too

charles leclerc please don't. logan sargeant-leclerc no, no, please do. it's the least they deserve. ollie bearman-leclerc i can get someone to light their hospitality on fire again oscar piastri-leclerc please don't.

pato o'ward-leclerc sounds like you guys don't like fun.

charles leclerc no, we just don't want them to end up in prison for attempted murder or arson.

ollie bearman-leclerc fine, we egg zac brown's car and mclaren hospitality.

logan sargeant-leclerc legally we won't get in trouble for that

oscar piastri-leclerc there's literally cameras everywhere on the paddock

natalia leclerc fuck you guys, we want to burn down mclaren for this shit and you won't let us

ollie bearman-leclerc to be fair, she also wanted to light williams on fire after australia and she didn't have an emotional attachment to logan yet.

charles leclerc WRONG!

charles leclerc she's had an emotional attachment to logan since last season. she was always asking about him.

logan sargeant-leclerc aww, she's mother guys

ollie bearman-leclerc that's the worst joke you could've ever fucking made. logan sargeant-leclerc i've made worse jokes and you know it ollie. oscar piastri-leclerc oh ollie, you haven't witnessed how bad his jokes can get

pato o'ward-leclerc i bet mark would let us egg mclaren and zac's car

logan sargeant-leclerc that's literally your boss

pato o'ward-leclerc and i'm just supposed to forget that he paraded the orange donald around the paddock??

natalia leclerc i feel like we moved on too quickly from that as a society

ollie bearman-leclerc the orange donald??

oscar piastri-leclerc oh ollie, sweet innocent naïve ollie logan sargeant-leclerc oh ollie ollie bearman-leclerc i'm so fucking confused charles leclerc i am too, who is this orange donald? natalia leclerc someone get the presentation ready.

SPA 2024

yuki tsunoda i'll bite his fucking ankles

liam lawson i'll take his kneecaps

santiago ruiz why is your first resort always violence??

yuki tsunoda why isn't it yours?

natalia leclerc added 1 person

aurora button i can light his house on fire?

mark webber jesus christ, that's your kid jenson? jenson button yup sure is

max verstappen i'll take him out the next race, trust me.

kimi raïkkönen ???

sebastian vettel don't act dumb now kimi, you're literally the one who sent the threatening email to fred. kimi raïkkönen when the hell did i do that? jenson button earlier this morning? i was literally there with you and seb when you sent it?

pato o'ward-leclerc they're having a threesome

aurora button and somehow i'm the crazy one here daniel ricciardo talk about dream foursome fernando alonso what the hell?

yuki tsunoda and what will the war criminal himself be bringing to the revenge table?

fernando alonso the psychological torture of the sainz family.

natalia leclerc can you marry my dad?

santiago ruiz i'm straight??

fernando alonso to torture the sainz family?? count me in.

mark webber there's no way you're willing to marry someone to fuck with the sainz family. oscar piastri-leclerc hell, i would do it if would fuck with carlos. logan sargeant-leclerc mr. ruiz is a dilf. i would marry tf outta him too. ollie bearman-leclerc i see we're finally admitting that we find mr. ruiz hot max verstappen i had a crush on him too

ben santos-ruiz WHY DO ALL OF YOU FIND MY DAD HOT??

jenson button have you seen your father?? natalia ruiz oh my god not you too kimi raïkkönen sebastian said to say that i agree too max verstappen free kimi from us (but not really we actually need him here)

santiago ruiz i'm flattered but i'm not marrying fernando

fernando alonso consider this, it would make the sainz family livid. santiago ruiz i'll think about it.

yuki tsunoda i can't believe we're doing this for the bit.

daniel ricciardo i mean, i think it would so much funnier if max married him but i doubt kelly would allow that.

aurora button max's old lady is so boring for not letting this happen

max verstappen can we not call my girlfriend old? thanks.

logan sargeant-leclerc so are they getting married over summer break or??

mark webber FERNANDO HAS A GIRLFRIEND?

fernando alonso she understands why i'm doing this.

sebastian vettel this is the best joke we've ever planned

mark webber WHY ARE YOU AGREEING TO THIS?? sebastian vettel because it's fucking hilarious man

oscar piastri-leclerc sounds like someone's mad fernando didn't want to marry him

mark webber die.

ben santos-ruiz god help us all

liked by bensantos_ruiz, pierregasly, lilymhe and others

natalia_leclerc a week spent with the grid kids + grid dads

tagged: charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial, aurorabutton, patriciooward, oscarpiastri, liamlawson30, olliebearman, maxverstappen1, logansargeant

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user12 so i max their grid kid or a grid dad??

user13 he's liam's grid dad?? i thought that was universal knowledge??

francesca.cgomes yes, flaunt that fucking baby bump

natalia_leclerc they already think it's fake, might as well flaunt it

jensonbutton when did my daughter become one of your grid kids??

natalia_leclerc somewhere between bullying carlos, defending my honor, and another secret third thing. jensonbutton what's the secret thing? aurorabutton it's a secret dad, that means you can't know jensonbutton i'm your father? aurorabutton yes, and?

user14 so is fernando natalia's grid dad?

user15 he totally is. i've seen him glare at carlos one too many times this season. user14 oh you're so right. i fear carlos made a mistake, he pissed off the entire grid.

alex_albon so am i not your grid kid??

natalia_leclerc you're more like my grid brother alex_albon i'll take it and if the rumors are true, i'll make his life a living hell charles_leclerc i've never been more proud

maxverstappen1 let the world know you crashed my padel date with charles

natalia_leclerc HE ASKED ME TO COME YOU SID THE SLOTH! danielricciardo i remember when he used to be in love with me, now he's obsessed with charles charles_leclerc i took your seat and your man danielricciardo TOO SOON!

olliebearman at what point can i convince you to adopt kimi?

patriciooward i don't need another brother logansargeant the baby on the way is more than enough oscarpiastri this alone convinces me that i was better off with three sisters instead of three brothers.

yukitsunoda0522 petition to have me as your next grid kid?

natalia_leclerc food included? yukitsunoda0522 anything for the pregnant lady natalia_leclerc score, you are so in yuki, welcome to the family user16 yuki took oscar's mum and his grid mum user17 i can't explain it but it's such a yuki thing to do.

sukiwaterhouse can i be the next mother of your children??

charles_leclerc suki, i will run you over redbullracing he's joking. i promise. sukiwaterhouse i've seen you mad, you look like a disgruntled kitten, bring it car-boy charles_leclerc CAR-BOY??

redbullracing boss man (leo) looks so cool here. kimi is alright.

natalia_leclerc this is why i love you admin redbullracing i'm blushing ☺️

olliebearman so about that family vacation?

logansargeant they might need some time away from us ollie patriciooward from you maybe, not from me. oscarpiastri FROM ALL OF US! aurorabutton speak for yourself aussie. i'm clearly the favorite oscarpiastri YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE GROUPCHAT! natalia_leclerc dinner after break? olliebearman as long as charles doesn't cook, i'm in. logansargeant deal!

user18 mother, you have to put us out of our misery. is it 1 or 2 baby leclercs??

natalia_leclerc he participates 5 minutes and suddenly i'm stuck carrying 2 of his spawns bensantos_ruiz it's actually your fault because tio pablo and tia patricia are twins. charles_leclerc i told her that but it's still my fault. user19 TWO BABY LECLERCS?!!

user20 oh this is going to make carlos sainz go even more insane. he's going to be plagued by a mini charles and a mini natalia

user21 dare i say it's a reincarnation of ollie and aurora?? who are basically mini charles and mini natalia?? user22 holy shit, you're so right user23 love that we've all decided it's going to be a boy and girl user20 the world needs to humble carlos sainz so of course it's going to be a boy and a girl

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¡leclerc-s speaks! any ideas on who should be the face-claim for natalia's dad because after this week i would just find it absolutely hilarious if it was pedro pascal because the pictures of him and charles just look like charles is enamoured with him. but any other ideas besides pedro?? now, on a serious note, i will forever hate mclaren for tainting oscar's first win, and he also deserved a proper celebration on the podium, so in my delulu land charles and max were on the podium with him. before anyone asks, yes it does hurt to write logan in this story knowing what's coming but there's no way i'm going to write him off after the williams thing.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!