#like yeah i'm bored and tired | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

joonebugg · 6 months ago

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Anyways, lowkey liking school this year. Like it makes me tired but this year I'm not miserable abt it. I'm actually lowkey happy about school

I still cried the first week of school, but tbh it isn't anything new, and it was mostly bc of something outside if school. And tbh, I needed that, I needed to cry. I have been practically emotionless all summer long, i needed to feel something, and I need to get used to getting that out. And I need to recognize that it's out of my control that I cried, and there isn't really anything I can do at it

I also got the bestest night's rest afterwards so hey! Look on the bright side :] like ya it sucks that I was melting down but tbh, I couldn't stop that, so I think it's okay

#like yeah i'm bored and tired #but also i'm a bit happy #my elective is awesome #my schedule has all 4 of my academic classes in a row so the last 2 are library assistant and study skills #which makes things a lot easier #i actually got my ID printed this year so i can go in the fast line at lunch #my brother also i toduced me to a ew pwrson who is cool as fuck #so yeah :]#i'm actually really happy abt this year #AND i only have one year after this left #next school year is my last year and then no more highscool!#joonebugg rambles #actually autistic #autistic things

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chalkrub · 2 days ago

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so i remembered daily comic day this year and i am paying for it

#my art #hourlies #hourly comics day #hourly comic #chalk #oc #i'm dying and passing out and dying and throwing up and crying #this is just like when i was a stupid student having to cram weeks worth of work into a day because i procrastinated #AHHHHHHHHHHHHH #okay i'm fine #this is the most boring day of my LIFE and here i am writing a comic about it. god #i swear sometimes my life is more interesting #i love watching the quality deteriorate over time #okay. i'm posting this to bsky then i'm going to bed so i can forget about this ordeal #in all seriousness it was a lot of fun i'm just tired. drew way more than i thought i could #OH YEAH and for the record i never even finished the crossword #too busy writing three comic panels about it to finish it #AHGGHHHH #the crossword is a new thing to me i started it late last year. new addition to my life to fill the gap splatoon left

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mamawasatesttube · 21 days ago

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the timkon fans who shit on bart are annoying, the konbart fans who shit on tim are annoying, and i don't actually know if there are timbart fans who shit on kon, but i sure hope not, because they'd be annoying. the three of them are a set!!! do NOT separate. red tornado literally assigned them one shared brain cell. what is not clickign

#rimi talks #theyre literally like the star trek triumvirate to me. even if you ship two of them romantically and not the third w them #the third guy still has to be there. like. you cant have spirk without bones. what is spones without kirk. you know?#you cant have timkon without bart. you cant have konbart without tim. you cant have timbart without kon.#in my rich inner world kon and bart are in a qpr while timkon are dating and timbart are besties. and bart loves to just hang out anyway #like tims in the garage working on the redbird and barts just suddenly there like heyyy tim im bored. can i help? (tim: NO!!!!)#(bart: aw cmon are you still mad about the time i scratched your car i SAID sorry!!!) (tim: >:C)#where was i going with this. i think i had a point.#oh well its gone n--OH RIGHT WAIT YEAH #all three of them love each other and everyone who doesnt get this is missing the point forever and ever and ever #and like. i GET being annoyed by the prevalence of bat characters in fan spaces #but man does it get tiring real fast to peek into some corners of this fandom when youre like. actually yeah i do like tim drake. sorry.#like man i do like tim and i'm not actually sorry about it but it sure gets. hm. well. simply tis not a space for me i suppose #and by that i mean the konbart tag i think. at least as of last time i poked in there (which was a while ago). ah well. alas #idiot trio <3 #tim #kon #bart

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kj-beastboy · 3 months ago

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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!

yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)

it's so common in fandoms!

I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.

I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔

I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.

anyway here's a doodle!

#that's autism for you #I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things #I'm not even trying to be judgemental #I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes #so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place #from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here #how did I get here. I'm lost guys #but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things #and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong #i don't belong here #I can't relate to 99% of people #honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist #and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona #so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man #I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep #that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory #sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy #villainous #villanos #dr flug #kenning flugslys #my art #ask reply

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eelclaw · 1 month ago

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stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks

#dead leaf for leafpool and gull feathers for feathertail #like yeah it's funny that cherith does whatever the hell she wants as soon as she's in the driver's seat #but it's also baffling and frustrating that she wanted this in the first place #crowfeather or at least the version of him in my head is a fun and interesting character because he's shitty #in the newer books there's been a weird attitude toward him where the other characters think he's irritable but also noble and attractive #also tawnypelt is such a nothing character it's upsetting that all she's ever been is an accessory to the men around her #her father her brother her mate her son her grandson(s)#and her pov is no longer merely boring but actually insufferable thanks to her poorly handled “kids these days” plots #if it were up to me #the new prophecy would focus more on tawnypelt feeling out of place in shadowclan and struggling to prove her loyalty #contrasting brambleclaw who is generally accepted in thunderclan but victimizes himself due to his insecurity #i would also explore how tawnypelt and rowanclaw get together since he hates her in one scene and then they're lovey dovey in the next #although this does seem to be the basis of many warriors relationships #i'm not sure how i feel about tawnypelt getting a second mate as an elder but i don't want to begrudge old people finding love again #so i'm fine with it as long as it's not crowfeather #as for crowfeather #he would fall hard and fast for feathertail because she's pretty and shows him kindness but i want it to be one-sided #then he would fall hard and fast for leafpool for the same reasons #she runs away with him not because she loves him but because clan society is suffocating and she needs an escape #so when they get back to the clans she moves on pretty quickly but he lives a long and miserable life pining after her #his clanmates quietly avoid him because they don't like him that much because why would they and so he never becomes deputy #i can see him trying to reconnect with breezepelt and nightcloud as an elder #not necessarily because he realizes how shitty he is but because he wants a relationship with his granddaughters but it's strained #and then he dies! i'm tired of writing and being frustrated by these stupid books so i'm ending it here #changing skies spoilers #crowfeather #warrior cats #eel art #eel text

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torchickentacos · 8 months ago

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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.

#3 am queer discourse take <3 #anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride #if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah #like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo #pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being #and whatever you want it to be #burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj #idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically #this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all #I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays #constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident #if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?

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lit-in-thy-heart · 2 years ago

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been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious #with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen #but idk how to write it just yet #if i'm feeling stuck or bored #and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else #and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night)#but it's working wonders with my brain #and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas #just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about #like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september #(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific)#but that's okay!#not everything has to be done and dusted immediately!#i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back #and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby #but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so #lit talks #personal

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foreverxdaydreaming · 4 months ago

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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people #'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately #mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year #familys always got me up the wall #i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED #it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG #ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again #wtf is the purpose #i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth #how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit #years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing #and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be #of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying #(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired #and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness #and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot #to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding #common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm #but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies #if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol

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mylonelydreaming · 8 months ago

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You know a ship is good when people have to resort to absurd and performative political hand-wringing over their hair colour, sex/gender and race

#zelink #imagine saying these things about any other group #“ew they're both black”#“ew they're both asian”#saying this about pale characters doesn't suddenly make it not a werid and hateful thing to say #“I hate white women” is literally just being hateful and bigoted towards a type of woman hello 💀#And accusing people of “white supremacy” over it is insane #“I hate on it to make the cishets mad” or “I ship this instead to make the cishets mad >:)” isn't the w you think it is either #wow so you don't even genuinely like the other ship you just ship them to make a made up enemy mad?#Also people calling it boring just because Zelda is a human when there is literally so many interesting aspects of this zelink dynamic #and this Zelda herself #Always Yona “fans” who previously violently hated her saying it too? Yeah okay Zelda is “boring” and Yona is “more interesting”.#We are given nothing about Yona and I saw you hating on her simply existing last week but sure #I'm in a bad mood this morning can you tell #new bad take on my girl every day I'm tired

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smallblueandloud · 4 months ago

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was feeling okay about bring sick for a week but then someone reminded me that tonight is the yearly rocky horror showing and now i am bummed as shit. fuck. the amount of things i have missed because of this illness

#AND I AM STILL FUCKING SICK #sb and l rambles #AND I STILL HAVE A FEVER!!! I'M STILL NOT BETTER!!!!!#i have spent basically all day lying in bed. that's resting. i'm supposed to be getting BETTER #god i'm so bored and it feels like i'm going to be here forever #i know i will probably heal eventually. but it's bad that i've been sick for this long!! right??#the doctor was like ''we tested you for everything we could and you seem fine. keep the fever down with OTC stuff and come back on monday''#and like. okay yeah i guess that's reasonable. but monday? MONDAY? MONDAY??#i know two weekends isn't everything in the grand scheme of things but i'm just so tired of feeling like shit #no one else is sick like this. which is good. but also. FUCK. what is WRONG. why is this HAPPENING

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leofrith · 10 months ago

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ooooooh my god i need some fucking joy i need some fucking joy NOW

#literally nothing is bringing me enjoyment right now NOTHINGGGG #(yes i know its the depression. whatever.)#i havent played bg in like three weeks. not even enjoying that anymore either #and i CANT FUCKING WRITE!!!!!#I'm so exhausted all the time I'm so bored I'm so lonely #and yeah I'm reading more lately which is great but I'm hardly enjoying myself I just #im so fucking bored im sick of killing myself to complete job applications just to hear nothing back im so. so tired #whatever!!!!! life sucks and then you die #pretty sure my birth control is gonna kill me anyway so whooo caresssss #idk what this post is about #tbd

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ff2-soda-pop · 2 months ago

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youtube for some inexplicable reason keeps suggesting videos to me about whether sonic 3 or mufasa will be the bigger hit at the box office and I'm not gonna watch the videos but also like. I really hope it's sonic-

#my reasons for this are as follows #1) I like the sonic movies #2) I am sick and tired of the live action disney remakes AND their obsession with sequels so to essentially do Both at Once is evil to me #and I need it to fail please ohmygod I cannot take any more of these please someone make it STOP #3) I have a very specific hatred of hyper-realistic cgi lion king remake and now they're doing ANOTHER ONE makes me mad also #also yknow what as an aside I'm gonna yell about lion king 2019 fuck it these are my tags on my blog and i am going to subject people to my #Weirdly Specific Opinions about a movie. anyways I mean again hatred for the life action remake obsession ASIDE like. it just fucking sucks #like for how much they hyped up how Realistic the visuals are and how Lifelike it looks uhhhhhhhh. it looks 'realistic' in the sense that #the models and textures are good and like that's all I can say about it #the actual animation like-#IT'S SO BAD. THE CHARACTERS DONT EVEN EMOTE IN ANY WAY AT ALL. IT LOOKS LIKE A BORING NATURE DOCUMENTARY BUT WORSE BECAUSE AT LEAST REAL #LIFE LIONS DONT JUST STAND THERE BLANKLY #and before you say 'oh but sage real life lions dont smile and have eyebrows and stuff' I KNOWWW #BUT ALSO LIKE. BODY LANGUAGE. COME ON. IF YOU DONT WANT TO STUDY REAL LIONS CAN YOU AT LEAST LIKE LOOK AT A HOUSE CAT OR SOMETHING #also it Extra pisses me off because the original lion king like.......... the animation is So Good.... and they clearly did their research #into cat body language.... and also THE ANIMATION IS SOOO GOOD......#and then the remake is um. well fucking look at it.#also they cant even get the ATMOSPHERE right like how do you even do that #ughhhh i haaaate that fucking remake i hate it soooo much #but uh. yeah anyways. hate lion king 2019 and sonic 3 needs to destroy mufasa

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tackrusso · 3 months ago

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hugely sick and tired of my family assuming that i'm always miserable and treating me as such. like maybe if you didn't constantly ask me what was wrong with me i wouldn't be so fucking annoyed all the time

#like they start FIRST THING in the morning #i mean am i going through it? yeah kind of #there are things i should probably deal with re: several people that i'm avoiding because i simply do not want to deal #whats the line from buffy. happily vacationing in the land of not coping #but it's not like i'm moping around all the time i'm literally just existing and my mom Takes Offense #this is the second saturday in a row i've just been sitting there eating breakfast and my mom is like WELL DO YOU NOT WANT THIS JOB #?????????????? am i supposed to do a jig before going to the most boring job on earth? i sit in an empty room for six hours #it's not like i said a word about work or anything else for that matter. i was doing a crossword puzzle and minding my business #i am burned the fuck out. i really am #it's not just the october craziness i'm burned out from living with my parents #i was going to go out with someone again and i finally just pulled the plug because i do not have the mental energy at all #anyway whatever the reason i'm tired of being yelled at about it

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gynaiko · 5 months ago

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ㅤㅤㅤSTELLA IS NOT A GOOD MOTHER, AT ALL; QUITE NEGLECTFUL, ACTUALLY. THE KIND TO SAY ‘THAT’S NICE, DEAR’ WHILE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT VIA. HOWEVER, I DON’T SUBSCRIBE TO FANON’S GENERAL INTERPRETATION WHERE SHE’S APPARENTLY WILLING TO KILL HER JUST TO SPITE STOLAS. WE STILL HAVEN’T SEEN HER INTERACT WITH OCTAVIA BUT IF SHE TRULY HATED HER, SHE WOULD HAVE THROWN A FIT WHEN ANDRE POINTED OUT VIA WOULD GET EVERYTHING,

ㅤㅤㅤ& WHEN SHE WAS SCREECHING AT STOLAS, ASKING IF HE WAS ‘TURNING HER ( VIA ) AGAINST HER ( STELLA )’ — CLEARLY, SHE CARES FOR VIA. AGAIN, SHE’S NOT A GOOD MOTHER, PERHAPS NOT CODDLING OR ‘MOTHERLY’ BUT ENOUGH THAT VIA HAS GOOD MEMORIES OF HER ( PER THE LOO LOO LAND EPISODE ),

ㅤㅤㅤREAD THE TAGS FOR MY TINFOIL HAT RAMBLINGS ,

#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖎.⠀stella #⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗢𝗗⠀જ⠀𝖎.⠀out of #⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗜𝗖⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖛.⠀introspec #ㅤif you know me at all & how i approach my muses; i am canon's bitch albeit i go all out - call me Sherlock. i don't like to defy what we..#ㅤhave so much as i like to rearrange the pieces; if you knew me when i rped Celes / Seras from Hellsing then YOU KNOW what the fuck...#ㅤi'm talking about. TECHNICALLY - when thinking on Stella i'm going by not only what we have seen but the tweets Georgina Leahy made a...#ㅤa while back ( i believe before the Oz episode iirc ) on how Stella is 'complicated & hearbroken' ( something to that effect ) & i...#ㅤ100% Stella was dumbed down + retconned; we even see it in the beatboards for the Loo Loo ep. she looks HAPPY in the family photograph...#ㅤversus the now canon one we got where she has her arms crossed; Via didn't say what she said because she was lying; it's because Stella...#ㅤ& Stolas WERE supposed to get along ( personally i DO believe she was supposed to be in love with him but i don't write it as such )...#ㅤ+ one of the images from a former spindlehorse employee have Stella & Stolas looking cutesy ( very Gomez / Morticia vibes even ). Y'ALL...#ㅤi'm just tired ngl; no hate but i just DO NOT CARE for canon!Stella. i don't necessarily hate her but she is so uninteresting & boring...#ㅤher constant screeching sends me 😂 BUT ANYWAY yeah i was thinking about it the other day & there's SO MUCH i want to get into with...#ㅤStella; i aim to still portray her more or less as Stella from the show ( in a sense ) - she still screeches & such but it just takes a...#ㅤlot longer for her to get to that point & only Stolas knows how to push those buttons. PERSONAL THEORY? not personal preference BUT my...#ㅤhunch is that she was supposed to be 'love' Stolas ( how much is debatable but she was at least cooperative enough for the wealth )#ㅤuntil Viv changed her mind for the billionth time & decided to make her lame. also ngl... i'm dumb because i didn't catch on to the fact..#ㅤthat Stella was supposed to be a swan at first; i genuinely thought she was a pigeon?? Viv why the fucking white on white; WHY. arrghh...#ㅤbring back green!Stella i'm begging you... OKAY RANT / TIN FOIL HAT OFF <3 had to purge the spitballs within my head ( i'm trying to...#ㅤstall in packing for tomorrow asdklhadsf i don't wanna )

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daxite · 5 months ago

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i think some of you guys are looking way too fucking deep into the shitty minecraft movie lol

#dax rambles #yes it looks complete fucking garbage but like #wow no way the billion dollar highest-selling game franchise got a terrible movie?#the franchise that has been a cash cow for over a decade?#people going on about how “MINECRAFT IS ABOUT THE UNIVERSE AND LIFE IT IS NOT CRINGE!!!! IT IS HECKIN DEEP AND STUFF!!”#is just so moronic lol #i agree that minecraft -- especially early days -- is very special and has this feeling to it that is weirdly magical and beautiful #but at the end of the day it's a silly fucking block game about creativity (that's a complaint i do agree with for the movie as well)#no minecraft wasn't designed to be this super deep subtly narrative-driven game the end poem doesn't actually mean anything #notch just wanted something weird for the end credits and the guy delievered lol #like obviously people's interpretations of the end poem are great and i love that and feeding into it for the movie would've been kino but #it's so tiring seeing people acting like minecraft is actually this super 2deep4u game when it really is not #again this is a billion-dollar franchise i expected the movie to be slop the moment is was announced i really do not care lmfao #people asking to boycott and shit is fucking hilarious though like it does not even matter at all LOL #like genuinely just who gives a shit it was going to be bad and looks bad if you don't want to see it then don't watch it #originally i was going to see it for a laugh but it just looks so boring not even funny-bad so i'm not bothering lol #not even because i'm “boycotting” i just don't care it looks terrible #saying this as someone who very much grew up with minecraft i've been playing since fucking alpha 1.1.2 #and lord knows how much of an impact it made on me for many many reasons LMAO #but yeah no people are reading way too deep into it and getting way too mad over it #it's just kind of ridiculous

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autistic-shaiapouf · 5 months ago

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Actually getting my adhd nonsense medicated is single handedly one of the best things I've ever done for myself

#i just. i feel so much calmer and less overwhelmed by everything #i come home from work and i actually want to DO things and I'm not tired 90% of the time #i sat down and started using my sewing machine for cosplay stuff yesterday. i might even cook dinner this week #things feel. manageable. and when I'm at work and things go wrong i can now very clearly hear the voice in the back of my mind #that's like ''this is not my fault and i won't pressure myself to fix it''#cool unintended consequence is that I'm now barely using youtube + a neopets ripoff site bc i feel bored with them?#haven't been listening to music at work either which is. genuinely insane of me #but uhhhhh yeah i think I'm experiencing the world the way you're supposed to and. wow #it feels like there's restraints on my emotions and while nothing devastatingly bad has happened since i started #I'm wondering if being sad won't feel like I'm in a meatgrinder; this is. huge so far #shai speaks

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