#whatever!!!!! life sucks and then you die
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stuckyslut8 · 17 hours ago
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I'm so very tamed now .part 2
Part 1. Masterlist.
A/N : don't know what took me so long to make a part 2 ( just life I guess)but her you go lovelies, sorry for the delay.
Pairing: mafia stucky x spy reader.(poly)
Summary: Bucky finally gets the information our of you, but you both manage piss steve off even more, so you have to deal with the consequences .
Warnning :poly stucky dom steve, bratty Bucky, sub reader , self proclaimed brat tamer Bucky,edging, spanking, angy steve 😡, a few tears. No beta reader. 18+ under the cut. Minors dni.
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Bucky has you all spread out on his bed, hands cuffed to the bed, completely naked , completely at his mercy.
"are you gonna do something barnes or are you just gonna stare at me all day " you ask him mockingly.
"oh you'll see sweets." He says with a wicked grin, as he pulls out your favourite vibrator and before he pushes it into you , turning it up to the highest setting.
"ughh Bucky." You moan not being able to control your pleasure.
"see pretty girl, I don't have much time , steve is already annoyed so you better tell me everything." He asks as he tries not to palm himself at the sight of your but he couldn't resist he takee out his already hard cock and starts jerking off in front of you, adding to your pleasure.
"or -ughh - or what barnes?" You manage to say in between moans.
"or I'm gonna keep making ya cum until you can't." Your eyes widen at that.
"you see last time I edged ya ,it didn't turn out well so now I'm gonna make try something different." You came instantly as he said that.
"see that's my good girlz we'll see how long you can keep going before giving in." He said as hmm.
Five orgasms later , you still wouldn't budge.
"see I'm almost getting bored ,just spit it out already, the vibrator's battery is gonna die"
"that's all you got?" You challenged him
"fine , I'll do this my way." Bucky said as he pulled the vibrator away from you, looking at your wet pussy.
"see my poor pussy can't take it , she's exhausted.." he cooed as he collected some of your cum with his fingers and sucked them.
"don't tell me what I can take barnes."
"if you insist sweets." Bucky suddenly fills you up with his cock and starts pounding into you, lifting your legs and throwing them over his shoulders. You both moan, and grunt.
"now you better tell me sweets , who do you work for?" He asks as he fucks you into oblivion.
"ughh Bucky ... I'm gonna ." You said as you reached your high.
"me too angel, me too, now why don't you tell me ,so we can both come together ." You were about to give in Bucky knew, you just needed a little push.
"you know steve is gonna be very mad at me, if I don't get the information Outta you after all this trouble...so please tell me sweets,I swear I'll stay right by you whatever it is."
"fine fine...i ughh work for stark, stark sent me " you finally spit out the truth.
Just then steve came barging in the door, " steve i found the information, she works for..." Bucky was about to say .
"stark i know" steve finished his sentence" i just met him. " Not impressed by Bucky.
"well I just got the information Outta her, see i told you my tactics never fail." Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky's answers, although he was certainly aroused by the scene in front of him,you begging Bucky to let you cum.
"well of course I'll let you cum sweets, daddy is having a conversation right now wait a minute" the brunette man told you.
"stop being such a whore buck" steve yelled at him.
"you know you damn well love it steve, infact i know you're enjoying our doll begging to cum right now" while you were still whimpering begging Bucky to cum.
Steve was definitely aroused by the sight in front of him but tried to keep his composure.
"shut up Bucky, she's being a brat and you're only defending her." Steve said.
"she is brat and I'm not defending her , I'm punishing her can't you see?" Bucky asks
"damn well you are, look at her not one ounce of regret in her face,you're not making her relaise anything,you're just giving in to her bratiness."
"daddy please lemme cum" you beg him with doe eyes, Bucky is still in you , you try to fuck yourself on him, lifting your hips. "Just a minute sweets" Bucky says.
"no get off of her" steve says angrily.
"what the hell steve" but steve pushes Bucky aside before he could finish his sentence.
"I'm gonna show her what real punishment is and make her realise what she has really done to us, how much she's hurt us, so stop coddling her and move buck" steve says as he takes off his clothes.
"stevie.." i whimper as Bucky's thick cock is removed from your heat.
"shh shut up you brat ,you only call me sir from now, understood?" Steve said giving a hard spank to your dripping pussy making me moan.
"yes sir" steve flips you onto your stomach, you were waiting nervously as to what he was gonna do.
"now I'm gonna spank you properly you brat and you're gonna take it like a good slut and thank me alright " he says
"yes sir." All while Bucky watched the scene unfold in front of him, he knew you were in big trouble now but he enjoyed it at the same time.
"good girl do what daddy steve says " Bucky said .
Steve gave his first spank it was real, unlike the playful ones Bucky gave you, it stung almost leaving an impression.
"thank you sir." I say. *He spanks again.
"thank you sir"
*spank
*th thank you sir."
After 10 spanks , Steve stops leaving your bottom so red and your pussy dripping.
"you did so good doll taking your punishment like a good girl" Bucky said patting your head.
"thanks daddy" you manage to whimper.
"your punishment is not over yet brat." Steve says with a stern look.
"but.."
"no buts get on your knees .."
You do as he says, steve roughly grabs your hips and thrusts his hard cock in you, making you moan. "Ahh daddy.." steve pulled out immediately,and spanked you again." What do I tell you to calle me you brat.."
"sir?"
"yes and you'll only call me sir from now, no stevie, no daddy understood?" He said slapping my ass again.
"yes sir"
Bucky thought he was being a little too harsh on you. "Oh come on steve she just called you daddy she -" Bucky started to reason .
"you shut up punk or youre gonna be punished next." Steve said and went to sinking his cock back into your dripping cunt in one swift motion.
"ohh yess sir please-" you moaned
"please what you little slut?" Steve asked pounding into you ,making the bed shake, Bucky was happily jerking off to it at this point, knowing trying to defend you was pointless and that would only get you into more trouble, plus he knew steve would never hurt you,no matter how mad he was , he was only doing this because he was deeply hurt by your betrayal.
"please sir, fuck me, please don't stop." You pleaded .
"and why would I listen to you?" The blonde said.
"because...because..."
"because what ?" He said slamming his hips into you.
"because I love you and ...Bucky i uh-" tears we're streaming down your face at this point, both from the pleasure and the guilt of the whole situation,you knew you hurt steve and pushed him to this point.
Steve laughed mockingly. "Really you love- you love us? Don't lie you little slut" steve was about to cum but he contained himself not giving you the satisfaction.
"I'm not lying...i really, really love you both. I'm sorry about everything." A million things were going on Steve's mind.
Just then Steve's phone rang, he picked it up from the night stand while still in you.
"hmm alright I'll be there-" he spoke into the phone. He pulled out of you, leaving you whimpering.
"what happened baby?" Bucky asked , knowing something was wrong.
"nothing it's uh- take her to the safehouse right now, I'll go take care of some things."
Bucky knew better than to argue with steve at times like these so he only nodded.
Steve left the room, Bucky gently cleaned you up, while you were still getting out of the haze. "Pack your things baby." He said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"what's going on?" You finally decide to ask
"stevie's orders ,don't ask any questions for a while." He said .
And you complied, going on to pack some of your stuff ,but you had a pretty good idea of what's going on, you took your pistol from the hidden cabinet in your bathroom just in case .
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leofrith · 7 months ago
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ooooooh my god i need some fucking joy i need some fucking joy NOW
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the-meme-monarch · 6 months ago
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fathers of the world. you have got to stop calling women service workers over the phone ‘dear’
‼️TERFS STEP AWAY FROM THIS POST YOU WILL BE OBLITERATED ON SIGHT
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sayakxmi · 13 days ago
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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lilowoof · 3 months ago
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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octozay · 7 months ago
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since on im on the path of ships I despise, here's a more directly canon one: CHEESE AND PINKIE PIE!! every time I see the two being married with I kid I go "LALALALALALALAL I CANT HEAR U LLLLALALALALA" not that its creepy or anything I just fucking hate it. and yeah, it was a baller move of weird al to make his fucking ponysona canon to marry one of the characters, fucking hilarious, but also, my heart bleeds for twipie. so lil cheese does not exist LALALALALALALLALALALA I CANT HEAR U!!
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faithfromanewperspective · 15 days ago
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need a private tumblr to be an outlet for feelings had while activisming
#look. i know how to do things effectively i'm telling ya#but it's gonna take a whole bunch of ranting to get there first#and something inherent about activism that's actually effective is taking on care for other people's emotions#who are doubtless in much worse situations than me! but at the same time i have feelings and traumas that get triggered#and i have things i need to process and sort through in order to do my imperfect best. when you're in desperation you want more and i can't#blame you for that. but harm reduction also involves optimisation in a sense of how much harm i can personally reduce#and exposure to some things actually REDUCES that and i need to have somewhere to hold space for my emotions processing it#so i either decide fuck it and just post it here and know people are gonna get hurt from the insensitivity and there's no use explaining#unfortunately i have a suicidal ideation trigger at someone being in need and not being able to help them. maybe i can post about that?#somewhere in the limbo of this is not 'okay' per se but the best i can do is better than nothing. we all come together to stand up#against oppressors and shit. but there's emergency aid needed and it really does make me want to die very very quickly#which obviously i cannot get a job and actually help if I do. as in more than unemployment levels of generosity help#and while i can rattle on and on a bit about how our need for aid has the markings of capitalism (need for constant growth/supply)#it's not the fault of people trapped in that who don't have any other way out#sometimes i need to step back and find ways I CAN simplify my life in community to have more to be able to give when needed#because i can't do that for other people but i can for myself#and then i sound self righteous for doing it so i can be generous? so i can not feel helpless and want to die? there's no winning#i am the person who sees someone complain and thinks i immediately need to fix it for them. there's a good chance i will always be#and then i won't realise it but the empathy is the thing that's keeping me depressed and frozen but keeping me alive as well#and honestly i've lived like that for years. i don't have anything but my sometimes pitiful activism to like. enjoy life or whatever#and i do what i always do. one step in front of the other. pray for provision. choose between therapy and donation why am i so caught#up in that? problem solve. what are the needs and what are the other ways of solving them? share it to facebook? i don't know#i'll get there but i really need a job and i need to get a bit better so i can work. that day is gonna come it's just. the meantime sucks
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theskoomacat · 1 month ago
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M*uthwashing was good, the only things i didn't enjoy lie in the area of writing (but so do some things i enjoyed the most!) - but I expected more from it? kinda?
#putting this into tags because spoilers ->#like ok let me get this out of the way. the only woman on the crew is the doctor and has problems related to pregnancy. groundbreaking.#but i have no problems with the rest of the cast. swansea's monologue was top notch#and you can see that everyone loved the cast because 90% of posts in the tags is JIMMY MUST DIE#so whatever.#my biggest gripe is that one delusional asshole is basically the root of all evil in the story#it makes the story not about how people deal with a horrific situation but about one man ruining everyone's lives. that seems flatter to me#so up until The Reveal the game is stellar to me#it would be so much tastier to me if it was curly after all. life sucks so much for everyone that the captain#decides to commit murder suicide - and then doesn't even die and condemns them all to a slow painful death#but instead it's ''a violent man with inferiority issues cracks under pressure and betrays everyone'' which. okay now that i've typed it out#doesn't sound too boring but still#my commentary#also since i'm here#watched another small sci-fi game about an au soviet 70s? space station manned by an AI and it reminded me how much i love sci fi#it's a 2001 a space odyssey-inspired game where you are woken up from cryogenic sleep on a space station#but it turns out that the station ai used alien mold to clone you and your coworker and thus circumvent the 3d(?) law of robotics#because neither of you is strictly speaking human anymore#the point was that the ai was like a child (and the mc who is a female psychologist in charge of working with the ai who had developed this#kinda mother-daughter relationship with the ai OF COURSE#anyway aside from the visuals and vibes/design the game is mid#but it made me crave a story where the ai is a child simply because it is easier to make a simpler ai and then to teach it instead of making#a full grown human-like intelligence#but then it does behave like a child. make a mess on accident and does its best to hide it. a staff member dies and it clones them to fix it#a chain of unfortunate events that happen only because this god child put in charge of the station wants its caretakers to not be upset#that would be mwah#i will need to check this wall fo text for spelling when i get home!
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 6 months ago
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I found my relatives who are estranged because they left the cult (among other, much more complicated things)… and through their friends list I found my creepy uncle who I saw exactly once in person, walking through a foyer at a funeral.
Now, I bear a striking resemblance to my late grandmother so I could theoretically scare the living bejeezus out of him… 👀 but I’m not going to do that or talk to any of them right now in any way; because I don’t want to open that can of wormssssssss
#I guess it’s in that side of the family’s DNA to scheme and be evil and covertly cause as much mayhem as possible#I’ve inherited a double dose of whatever that is because I’ve been dying to cause widespread mayhem in disguise#hungering for it even— THIRSTING AS IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT#But there are no healthy or morally correct ways to Do That right now; so I guess I’ll suffer until I find an opportunity#I have no problems with my relatives. I like my relatives and would love to speak to them#However uh… the uncle#And of course the man’s profile picture is with him holding a toddler… fucking yikes#I mean maybe he’s reformed#He’d better be#Otherwise I will put on my rain boots#pack my bag with granola bars#and with a compass in my hand walk eighty miles north to beat his skinny ass into a seething pulp#[Caligula voice] “Get a dog who’ll eat a dog.” I am that dog. I am now#going#to bark at you#Woof woof barkbarkbark woofwoofwoof bark bArk—#Just imagine me jumpscaring him at his door absolutely drenched in sweat like “Hello uncle I’ve never formally introduced myself to you#My name is [Tarrie]. Prepare to die.” and then I immediately fucking pass out and impale myself on my folding scissors#because I’ve been walking for 80 miles straight only eating granola bars birch bark and dandelions#That would be horrifying and extremely embarrassing… so this is proof that this is all a joke and I would never do that#because I value… [checks notes] my health. Yes. [nods emphatically]#No the real reason is because I have no viable way to figure out any reason why he hasn’t reformed from many decades ago#which sucks because I prefer to deal in absolutes but that’s the way it is and my resources would be better spent observing other things#which I KNOW are actively harmful to others in order to fix them#[Caligula voice] But fear not dear uncle (derogatory); I’ll still stalk you from afar
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gay-artificer · 1 year ago
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i always thought artificer was irredeemable - even with everything from this world being able to come back from the dead it still attempted genocide of the scavengers. and sure, i'm not saying that others can't like arti (in fact i do like them and their story) or write a redemption arc, they can have their fun that way. but i don't want to be guilted into thinking otherwise
I don't like to terms like 'irredeemable' on animals, even more sentient/intelligent (and fake) ones. Artificer is absolutely expressing unchecked hostility, but ultimately its still in the form of a creature reacting to its own trauma with aggression and, as a more intelligent being, with spite. Slugcats (and scavengers) are at their core not meant to be stand-ins for humans, and I think that there is a tendency for fandom (and humans with other 'smart animals') to correlate intelligence/sentience with at least somewhat of an obligation to conform to human morals. As a biologist who's a fan of wasps, I know how much people tend to project a need for human reasoning and morals onto creatures who literally could not comprehend it nor would want to. Hell, on an individual basis, even humans disagree on where things like that do and don't apply.
Do I think Artificer is good? Hell no, I said myself that I think they're something so violently consumed by their own grief and anger that on a literally spiritual level they have damaged themselves beyond reasonable repair. I think you need to be pretty uniquely fucked up and far gone to achieve that in such a level that it's literally scarred your own karma. I guess I think they are irredeemable in that sense, but mostly on a more meta level referring to their actual ability to recover vs. a moral one. The narrative of the story certainly condemns their actions pretty heavily in what is, effectively, a form of divine punishment- a complete and total inability to find peace in the form of proper ascension no matter what they do now. I feel that even if they threw away their grievances and just lived with Five Pebbles forever they would be unhappy and restless, just stuck with a permanent stain they wish they could ignore because it was an itch they scratched entirely through violence. But in that same sense I don't think the scavengers are uniquely, humanly evil for killing a slugpup for stealing just because they are also an intelligent creature with the capacity for culture and understanding. I believe the scavengers fully understood they were attacking the equivalent of a slugcat child, and they did not care. That did not matter to them, because they are just naturally very selfish unless they have reason to believe youre on their side already, and even then they aren't above violence due to personal grievance. They killed Artificer's pup because it violated a rule it couldn't have known was a rule, and its unfair that it died for it, but I don't think it makes the scavengers evil for it in the same way I don't fault a lion for attacking the weak or young of a herd, or a bee for stinging. I mean hell, even the scavengers themselves do it- They attack anything they perceive as threats, and will send squads to eliminate ones they think are particularly significant, even going out of their way to track them down. Sure, this is the a result of the creature already harming them- but Artificer was harmed. They were originally fleeing in their dreams. You could say it's different because Scavengers only target the one, but they already have a natural hostility to some slugcats and slugcats are generally independent (although its worth noting that slugpups pay for their parents' crimes by sharing reputation)- scavengers are not. They're all animals, they do what they perceive to be in their best interests, even if they perceive their best interest to be going out of their way to fight. The Ancients are the closest we have to a society with established morals in Rain World, and their favorite pastime was advanced genetic modification and disrupting ecosystems. It seems a little silly (to me) to be hung up on if any of these things are 'good' in that sense.
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bat-the-misfit · 1 year ago
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i only know two Ni doms irl but they're both driving me crazy
#internet people be like “oh ni doms are so mystical and clairvoyant” no they're not#lemme tell you what they are they're ANXIOUS#and they're making me ANXIOUS TOO#i love you ni doms but pls stop predicting your life in 20 years you could die tomorrow#i'm sorry but it's the truth the future holds so many possibilities that can ruin your “vIsIOn”#pls use your inferior Se once pls i beg you i promise you won't die if you live in the moment for 5 minutes#“Bat you don't use Se you can't complain about them” i know but at least i can switch between my Ne and my Si sometimes#one of them (INTJ) says EVERY SINGLE DAY: “i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that and i also have this project for next month and-”#but he never does anything which translates to “what the hell happened to his Te?”#his Ni must want to choke his Te#and then there's my mother (INFJ) who not only keeps telling everyone what she's gonna do ignoring the fact that Stuff Happens (inf Pe agai#but whenever smth bad happens she always think it's “meant to be” and “part of the process of people's soul growth”#i vent to her and she's like “this is what g0d chose to you as a mission for your soul to evolve"#no wonder jesus was an INFJ as well their Ni-Fe is so pUrPOsE oF LIfE#mom i just wanted to tell you my day sucks idc about my mission on earth i just wanted you to comfort me#i know we all should be kind and avoid being superficial but sometimes shit happens and it's not bc of our spiritual growth or whatever#sometimes life sucks and we don't learn anything with that and sometimes we have to be mean with people#bc they suck or bc they're mean to us#well aNYWAY#tio morcego tá azedo#every cognitive function is amazing on their own way but each one of them will drive you crazy#there's no better type or function: everyone will drive you crazy#today i'm pissed with ni doms tomorrow i could be pissed with se doms which are their opposite types so who knows?#you can't escape it you will want to choke people of all types#if you only hate one or a few types only you're not studying mbti right you have to be pissed off with all types#same with the opposite if you only like one or a few types you're not studying mbti right#you have to love every type with a passion that no one can explain#if you don't get why a type is so special and so annoying at the same type you're not studying mbti right#i just complained about ni doms but i could write why i also love them in two minutes after i post this#ok i'll stop now i'm rambling too much
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gregmarriage · 1 year ago
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the whole thing of “oh, you use mobility aids?’” “oh, you use *insert thing that makes my life easier*?” said in the kinda tone where it’s kinda obvious they’re looking down on you for it. literally go fuck yourself <3
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medicinemane · 7 months ago
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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nomairuins · 5 months ago
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i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately
#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard#mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i#meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL#also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you#guys as a whole so it doesnt count#one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying#BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me#i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to#expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak#unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here#but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh#but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone#wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who#thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical#but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck#and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on 🌎
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dewitty1 · 9 months ago
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Saturday Six (Stuff)
Cats woke me up too dang early. It was mostly Reggie, of course, so I chucked him out (don't @ me about it - he's and indoor/outdoor Boi) because that's what he wanted anyway. I didn't realize it was that cold until later, when I actually got up, thanks to Leeloo. So, I went out and called Reggie several times, with no luck. He decided to wait to come back after three + hours of being outside (not too unusual, but random enough) and I give him the Molly Weasley "Where *HAVE* you been?!" he just looks at me and gives a "maow" like "Whassup mom? Wassall the hubbub?" Crazy damn cat. Gotta love em. (^・ω・^ )
I'm really getting upset about the business situation. Idk what to do. It's bad, bad. And I've looked at jobs. Nothing much but nursing really. Ugh.(;*´Д`)ノ
I find it funny that I identify as aromantic, but I love reading romance novels (not as much as I used to, but I have some old faves), Drarry fic of course, and I love RomComs, and shows like Love is Blind and Indian Matchmaking lolololololol. I guess I just don't feel it for myself. Idk, it's weird, to me anyway.(*´▽`*)
I really hate asking people for help. It really feels like failing to me. I guess I have my parents to thank for that one. But I've been asking people to share my business posts. Mostly on Fb because that's where the old people with money are. I don't love it, but this is the world we live in.(o;TωT)o
As if things weren't bad enough, I also got a jury duty summons in the mail for my birth month. But at least it wasn't for my actual birthday.
Anyway, I'm just trying breathe. And I keep hoping that something will come through. I'm still swimming, even though life is trying to drown me. p(*^-��*)q
BONUS - Mom tested positive for covid! So life keeps giving! (•̀o•́)ง
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